The Port Times Record - March 2, 2023

Page 1

The Port Jefferson Library’s Lego Robotics team advanced to the Long Island Championship round of the SBPLI FIRST Robotics

League, which will take place on Sunday, March 5, at Hicksville High School. The team came in fifth place and

won an award for their robot design at the qualifiers held at Huntington High School on Saturday, Feb. 4.

Librarians Khan DeRenzo and

Member Artist Showcase heads to Mills Pond

Photo

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SPACE RESERVED FOR SUBSCRIBER ADDRESS Online s cammers target Port Jeff Multiple businesses hit in latest cybercrime phenenomenon A8 Port Jeff Library’s Lego Robotics team advances to LIC
Venus Chavez have coached the team with help from teen mentors Jacob Huwer, Kai Kubik and Yushan Pan.
Executive Turnover Local governments to see changing faces in 2023 A3 24th annual Festival of One-Act Plays opens at Theatre Three Also:
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Top row, from left to right: Coach Venus Chavez, Nate Hart, Connor Blistany, Sophia Villagracia, Anna Polyansky, Teen Mentor Kai Kubik, Teen Mentor Jacob Huwer. Bottom row: Gideon Cesare, Brian Hyrycz, Scott Disbrow, Coach Khan DeRenzo and Teen Mentor Yushan Pan. Not pictured due to illness: Kenan Caliskan. Photo courtesy Sal Filosa
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Part I: Suffolk County exec race prompts turnover across local government

Municipalities throughout Suffolk County will undergo significant leadership changes in 2023.

enforcement, giving police the tools and training they need to fight crime and help prevent crime,” he said.

He emphasized county support in promoting small business sectors and encouraging those wishing to start a new business.

ELECTION 2023

Three-term incumbent Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone (D) cannot run for reelection due to 12-year term limits for county offices. Bellone’s absence at the top of the ticket has triggered a game of musical chairs across local governments, with an Election Day picture coming into focus.

County executive

Two major party candidates have emerged to fill Bellone’s seat. Venture capitalist and former federal and state prosecutor Dave Calone entered the race last summer and has since gained the backing of the county’s Democratic Committee. Between increasing economic development initiatives and expanding transportation options, Calone regarded Suffolk as a place of growing opportunities.

“I felt like we needed someone with a privatesector background to help capitalize on those opportunities for our region,” he said, adding that his prosecutorial experience could help alleviate the issue of crime throughout the area.

Calone said he would connect law enforcement personnel with new technologies if elected. “I come from the technology sector and feel we can do more when it comes to law

Calone may have a tall task ahead as recent election results suggest county residents are moving toward the right, with Republicans gaining a majority in the county Legislature in 2021 while flipping the district attorney’s seat.

To counteract these trends, Calone pledged to focus on local issues, which he suggested are matters of personal qualification rather than party affiliation.

“I think Suffolk County is less about left versus right, but who is going to have the vision to move Suffolk County forward,” the Democratic nominee said.

Opposing Calone is Town of Brookhaven Supervisor Ed Romaine (R). He received his party’s nod during a nominating convention held Thursday, Feb. 23, in Ronkonkoma. Before becoming supervisor, Romaine was county clerk for 16 years starting in 1989 and did two separate tours in the county Legislature, one before and the other after his tenure as clerk.

“I’m running to work for the future of our county and its residents,” he told TBR News Media. “This is an opportunity to move Suffolk forward. And, quite honestly, nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.”

The town supervisor added that he intends to campaign on the issues and policies he has

overseen at the town level. He offered that fiscal responsibility and public trust in government remain top priorities.

“I’m looking to hold the line on taxes,” he said. “I’ve done it five different times with our budget, and I would like to do that with the county, reduce the county debt and improve the county bond rating to AAA.”

Romaine also addressed his environmental concerns, such as water quality and quantity. He proposed modernizing information technology systems, filling critical posts within the police department and resisting Albany’s development agenda for Long Island.

“I’m not a fan of the governor’s plan to urbanize our suburban communities,” he said.

Despite recent electoral history, a Republican has not occupied the county executive’s chair

since Bob Gaffney left office in 2003. Asked why 2023 should be any different, Romaine suggested the coming election offers county voters a new direction.

“I think this is an opportunity to chart a new course,” he said.

Town supervisor

In declaring for county executive, Romaine vacates his post as town supervisor. Brookhaven Deputy Supervisor and Councilman Dan Panico (R-Manorville) and Village of Port Jefferson Mayor Margot Garant (D) have stepped forward to fill the seat, securing their parties’ respective nominations last week.

Panico, whose 6th Council District consists of the town’s southeastern hamlets, was first

ELECTIONS CONTINUED ON A4

Big names and big plans during a well-attended meeting of the PJS/T civic

The Port Jefferson Station/Terryville Civic Association met Tuesday, Feb. 28, for an evening packed with local business.

Lawrence Aviation

the warmer months.

County Legislator Kara Hahn (D-Setauket) thanked Lansdale for continuing her efforts on behalf of county residents.

water initiative, remarking that a comprehensive sewer plan has eluded county officials for decades.

“Most of Suffolk County is without sewer infrastructure,” he said. “Sewers throughout Suffolk County have not happened for a variety of reasons,” namely the enormous costs associated with their construction.

Sarah Lansdale, the Suffolk County economic development and planning commissioner, updated the body on the proposed conceptual layout of the Lawrence Aviation Superfund site in Port Jefferson Station.

“Very few people want to deal with difficult, complex projects like this,” Hahn said. “This was very difficult, we are so close, and I’m just grateful.”

COMSEWOGUE

“We have come up with a plan of three basic uses of the property,” she said. “One is a lightindustry use … for a proposed solar development. The property south of the Greenway is proposed to be for open space … and then a railyard, or railroad usage, on the northeastern section of the property.”

Lansdale also reported that the U.S. Department of Justice recently approved language within a global settlement agreement between 11 claimants, adding, “Now we’re getting them to sign on to the agreement. Of the 11, we have three remaining that have yet to sign on.”

The county is working to finalize a bid package to demolish the remaining buildings on-site during

Civic member Ira Costell objected to a Feb. 23 op-ed in The Port Times Record, “Village elections and Port Jeff’s rapidly changing challenges,” in which former Port Jefferson Village trustee Bruce Miller suggested expanding the limits of the village to derive tax revenue from the Superfund site.

“I think that’s something we need to discuss and take a position on shortly,” Costell said, adding that such a proposal “impacts our community and a potential tax base to the Comsewogue School District.”

Civic president Ed Garboski and vice president Sal Pitti objected to the annexation proposal. Corresponding secretary Charlie McAteer said a discussion on the matter would be appropriate during next month’s meeting.

County sewers

Deputy County Executive Peter Scully delivered a presentation outlining the county’s clean

Cesspools remain the only waste treatment technology available to many county residents, which Scully indicated can impair the sole-source aquifer upon which residents depend for their drinking water. Leakage associated with septic tanks, Scully said, can contribute to brown tides, rust tides, algal blooms and fish kills throughout the county’s waterways.

To address the problem, the administration is pitching the Suffolk County Clean Water Plan, which includes a one-eighth of a penny per dollar sales tax, to create a local match program for federal and state subsidization of sewer infrastructure.

“Right now, there are tremendous funding sources available on the federal and state levels,” he said, noting the $1.2 trillion Bipartisan Infrastructure Law passed by Congress in 2021 and the recently passed New York State $4.2 billion environmental bond act.

“Those are the two sources of funding that

we’re all anxious to make sure our communities get a fair share of, and to do that we need a local match,” the deputy county executive said. “The [clean water plan] funding source that we’re talking about provides that local match.”

Reports

Andrea Malchiodi, assistant director of Comsewogue Public Library, announced that the library’s budget vote and trustee election would take place Tuesday, April 4.

Comsewogue High School students Kylie and Max updated the body on the news from the Comsewogue School District. Kylie reported that the high school’s business academy and workbased learning program were both approved career and technical education pathways by the New York State Education Department.

Max noted Comsewogue’s recent athletic achievements, with the Warriors girls and boys basketball teams advancing to the postseason. The wrestling team vied for the county final, while the varsity cheerleading team competed at the national tournament in Florida.

Suffolk County COPE officer Casey Berry said the vehicle theft crime surge throughout the local

PJS/T CIVIC CONTINUED ON A5

MARCH 2, 2023 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • PAGE A3
Dave Calone, left, and Ed Romaine are the Democratic and Republican nominees, respectively, for Suffolk County executive. Left from Calone’s campaign; right from the Brookhaven town website

Elections

Continued from A3

elected to the Town Board in 2010 following the untimely death of Councilman Keith Romaine (R), the supervisor’s son. Panico had previously served on the Brookhaven Planning Board and as a senior deputy Suffolk County clerk.

“I believe in the power of town government to have a dramatically positive effect on the lives of the people that we represent and the communities that make up Brookhaven,” Panico said in an interview.

The deputy supervisor emphasized fiscal stability and open space preservation as two signature campaign positions.

“My record on open space preservation and the environment, I believe, is unmatched in this race,” he said, adding, “I am also fiscally conservative, and I have been able to work effectively with the town boards that I’ve served on … to accomplish meaningful goals in this town.”

Republicans currently hold eight of the 10 elected positions within the town government, with one council seat vacant. Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich (Stony Brook) is the lone Democrat.

To replicate its success at the ballot box, Panico said his party “must continue to listen to the people whom we represent.”

On the opposite side of the aisle, Garant seeks to become the first Democratic town supervisor since Mark Lesko resigned midterm in 2012. In early February, she announced her retirement

from the Port Jeff village government after serving 14 years as mayor.

“There was no intent or forethought that I was retiring to put my hat in the ring,” she said. However, plans for her run came together shortly after the announcement when town Democratic leaders asked for a meeting.

“It was believed at that time that Romaine would be going up to the county executive level, which kind of left an interesting opening,” Garant said.

The outgoing village mayor said she plans to apply the lessons learned at the village level to town government.

“The [Brookhaven] landfill fees represent 42% of the overall revenue in the town,” she said.

Given her background negotiating with the Long Island Power Authority in a tax grievance dispute settled in 2018, she considers herself uniquely qualified to tackle the loss of public revenue.

She added, “A self-sustaining waste management plan that speaks to utilizing the current infrastructure without expanding the carbon footprint, that’s something I’m very interested in grappling with.”

Along with the landfill closure, Garant said she would continue to focus on development, arguing that the town must “balance the quality of life and get some development done.”

While acknowledging that her party has “a lot of work to do” to be competitive this November, she remained optimistic.

“We have a very awesome slate” running for Town Board, she said. “I’m enthusiastic about what the slate brings, and I think the message

we’re bringing is going to resonate.”

Port Jeff mayor

With Garant taking herself out of the running, Deputy Mayor and trustee Kathianne Snaden is the first declared candidate in the race for Port Jefferson Village mayor.

“When I first ran in 2019, my reason for running was to be the voice of those who never thought they had a voice,” she said. Since then, Snaden has gradually assumed greater responsibilities with more committee assignments, saying, “I think I’m in an even better position now to do that for the community.”

As the village’s public safety commissioner over the last four years, she considered the issue a paramount policy concern. “That has always been my number one concern in the village — to keep the community and the residents safe,” Snaden said.

More recently, she was assigned trustee

liaison to the building and planning departments. “Over the last year or so, I’ve been doing a lot of work up there to help streamline and make the process easier for anybody looking for an application,” she said. “That’s something that I want to continue to work on.”

Snaden also mentioned that close coordination with the school district, greater parking opportunities and improved resident mobility would be areas of focus if she were elected mayor this June.

Snaden is currently alone in the mayoral contest. Whether others step forward to run, she said she remains “focused on the work that I’m doing now and [that’s] what I will continue to do in the future.”

This is the first of a two-part story. Part II will cover upcoming legislative elections at the county, town and village levels.

PAGE A4 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • MARCH 2, 2023 www.mariossetauket.com 631-751-8840 21 delicious pasta choices for $21 That includesChoice of one: draft beer, glass of wine, soda, coffee or tea Choice of soup or a salad Choice of one: cheesecake, cannoli, rice pudding or chocolate mousse PASTA NIGHT Monday night Special 4 - 9 pm Starting March 6th DINE IN ONLY ©132390
Margot Garant, left, and Dan Panico, center, are the Democratic and Republican nominees, respectively, for Brookhaven town supervisor. Right, Deputy Mayor and trustee Kathianne Snaden, mayoral candidate in Port Jefferson. Left from the Port Jeff Village website; center from Panico’s Facebook page; right courtesy Snaden

Brookhaven councilmember announces reelection bid

am running for reelection for another four-year term on the Town Council to continue the work I started.

PERSPECTIVE

Representing the residents of this community on Brookhaven Town Council has been one of the greatest honors of my life. One of the most rewarding aspects of this job is being out and about in the community, establishing deep and meaningful relationships with stakeholders, and making life a little better for the people I represent.

This is not new work for me. Previous to holding this office, I was president of the Three Village Civic Association for seven years and served on the Three Village Board of Education for 14 years. This service, and the relationships I built along the way as well as my long background in the world of business, have helped educate me and prepared me with the specific skill set and experience needed to represent our community on the Town Council.

As a councilmember, my formal responsibilities relate to land use and development; parks and recreational areas; working with local businesses to help them grow and succeed; and being a steward for our incredible natural and historical treasures. For almost two decades, long before I was elected to office, serving the community has been my passion, and I would like to announce that I

During my first term in office, I have demonstrated my ability to leverage my civic and business experience to negotiate effectively with developers on behalf of the community, and with the people’s interests in mind. Although I have been very excited to attend many redribbon cuttings with our partners in the chambers of commerce, the real work is cutting red tape and helping businesses grow and thrive.

But I never forget that even with all the time and attention I give to managing development, building parks and supporting small business, communities are made of people, and that is the real foundation and motivation for my service. I have been especially mindful of reaching out to those who

feel frustrated or ignored. Local government is complex and multilayered, and sometimes people just need to be seen, heard and given a little helping hand to address their concerns.

Our Council District — CD1 — is home to around 80,000 people. It is an amazing area with complicated challenges, but we also have great promise and the ability to meet those challenges together. I will continue to fight against Albany’s heavy-handed, top-down mandates in favor of local control and our own suburban agenda.

Suffolk County restores main website

Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone (D) and county officials announced Friday, Feb. 17, that Suffolk has made progress restoring cybersecurity.

The announcement comes after county websites, servers and networks have been offline since September last year — the results of cyberattacks that first struck at the end of 2021. The county’s main website was restored online Friday, with more services coming online this week.

Bellone thanked everyone involved, including county IT professionals and County Clerk Vincent Puleo (R), who entered office earlier this year.

“His leadership and his partnership in the brief time that he’s been on the job has allowed us to make incredible progress, and he’s responsible for the announcement that we have today,” Bellone said.

The county executive reviewed key findings from a forensic investigation of the cyberattack that began in the County Clerk’s Office in December of 2021. According to Bellone, hackers were able to enter the clerk office’s system, and for eight months were able to operate before securing additional credentials to migrate into the general county system.

Bellone added that an IT director in the clerk’s office had been placed on administrative leave after, the county executive said, the director

obstructed efforts, resulting in countless delays to restore security.

Bellone said every county office was deemed clean by Oct. 17, except for the County Clerk’s Office, and the expense of the security breach has been “extremely costly to taxpayers of this county.”

Despite hackers demanding $2.5 million from the county, Suffolk refused to pay the ransom.

He said the county had replaced the County Clerk Office’s firewall with the most updated protection.

“The clerk’s office has been deemed clean, and we are able to start to restore online services beginning with the county website,” Bellone said.

The county executive said he knows now the segregated IT environment within the various county offices was a mistake. He added it was fair to criticize him.

“I should have more quickly implemented the recommendations in the 2019 cybersecurity assessment, which I commissioned, to hire an additional executive level leader focused on cybersecurity,” Bellone said.

Puleo said the county’s IT department’s dedication has been unwavering during the process.

“Going forward, we will do everything we can in the clerk’s office to cooperate and get things where they belong and keep the protection so that the whole county IT is protected from future attacks,” the county clerk said.

This is an exciting time in CD1 and I can’t wait for you to continue seeing the results of our efforts. In

the very near future, we will begin to execute thoughtfully designed redevelopment plans for blighted areas in Port Jefferson Station, including a brand new major community park which is almost completed. We will see the

PJS/T Civic

Continued from A3

area remains unresolved. “Lock your cars in your driveway and when you’re going to Starbucks,” she told the body. “Don’t leave the fob in the car.”

Berry also reported that officers within the department are being more active. “I think COVID affected law enforcement as well as the rest of the community in many ways,” she said, adding, “Our leadership is saying, ‘We really need to protect our community.’”

This boost in police activity, Berry added, is reflected by rising numbers of summons written by police officers, along with the department’s ongoing body camera initiative.

Civic elections

Garboski reported the results of the nominating committee created last month after he and Pitti declared they would be leaving the

groundwork being laid for revitalization of Setauket’s downtown business district centered around a new park at East Setauket Pond, as well as a cleanup and restoration of the waterfront and a new parking lot which has just been completed. There are so many exciting projects, from the restoration of the Gamecock Cottage in Stony Brook, major redesigns and improvements at the Port Jefferson Marina and the inspiring revitalization taking place in Port Jefferson Station and Terryville.

The connections and relationships you elected me to cultivate as your representative are flourishing and bearing fruit. As anyone who receives my monthly newsletter can attest, this is not a part-time job. This position will continue to be my main focus, and I will continue to work and make myself available both during working hours and evenings throughout the district as needed.

I am not part of the entrenched political structure of the Town of Brookhaven and am beholden to no political party or special interest. This is your town, I am your councilmember, and I would be very grateful for your support to reelect me to continue my service to the community as we work hard together to save our suburbs.

hamlet before the year’s end, thereby vacating their posts.

Christine Allen and Costell were each nominated for the position of civic president, and Carolyn Sagliocca was the sole candidate nominated as vice president. The three candidates publicly accepted their nominations.

Additional nominations will be accepted from the floor during the next meeting March 28, on which date a vote will take place. The newly electeds will formally enter their posts in April.

During the meeting, Town of Brookhaven Supervisor Ed Romaine (R) presented proclamations to Garboski and Pitti for their long service to the Comsewogue community.

“You cannot put a price on the time, effort, energy, knowledge and dedication they have brought to this task,” Romaine said. “They have worked around the clock to improve the quality of not their lives, but the quality of life of everyone in this community.”

NOTICE OF CORRECTION Readers’ Choice Correction

The Readers’ Choice publication that appeared in our 2/23/23 issue listing the winners contained an error in the cesspool service category. Rocky Point Cesspool was listed with the wrong phone number and website. The correct information is:

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

MARCH 2, 2023 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • PAGE A5
Cesspool Service Rocky Point Cesspool
Point, NY 11778 631-744-3915
• Rocky
• rockypointcesspool.com
©132550
COUNTY

The following incidents have been reported by Suffolk County Police:

Five people hurt in Setauket house fire

Suffolk County Police Arson Section detectives are investigating a residential fire that occurred in Setauket on Feb. 28. Sixth Precinct officers responded to 19 Franko Lane after a 911 report of a fire at 1 a.m. The Setauket Fire Department arrived at the scene and extinguished the blaze. Five residents of the house were transported to Stony Brook University Hospital for treatment of non-life-threatening injuries. The cause of the fire is under investigation but it does not appear to be suspicious at this time.

CAUGHT ON CAMERA

Groceries stolen from S. Setauket Stop & Shop

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Sixth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the man who allegedly stole groceries from Stop and Shop, located at 260 Pond Path in South Setauket, on Feb. 14 at approximately 2:40 p.m.

Man arrested for stealing from gym lockers

Suffolk County Police arrested a West Babylon man for allegedly stealing property from fitness center lockers during the past five weeks. Suffolk County Police received reports of credit cards and wallets stolen from lockers, both secured and unsecured, at LA Fitness locations throughout the county since January. Following an investigation, Carl Francois was arrested during a traffic stop on Carleton Avenue in Central Islip on Feb. 22 at approximately 1:15 p.m. Francois, 56, was charged with 27 counts of alleged Criminal Possession of Stolen Property 4th Degree and two counts of Grand Larceny 4th Degree. He is scheduled to be arraigned at First District Court in Central Islip at a later date.

Wanted for petit larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Sixth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate two people who allegedly stole two scooters and additional items from Target, located at 107 Independence Plaza in Selden, on Feb.20 at 5:40 p.m. The merchandise was valued at approximately $350.

PJS man arrested for drug/weapons charges

Suffolk County Police arrested a man during the execution of a search warrant at a residence in Port Jefferson Station on Feb. 22. Following an investigation by Suffolk County Police Narcotics and Criminal Intelligence detectives, Suffolk County District Attorney Office detectives, and assisted by Suffolk County Police Emergency Service Section and Sixth Precinct officers, a search warrant was executed at a residence at the Liberty Station Apartments, 1599 Route 112, at approximately 6:05 a.m.

Detectives found Nicholas Cox to be allegedly in possession of a loaded .25 caliber Lorcin semi-automatic handgun with an extra magazine along with approximately 50 grams of cocaine and fentanyl, along with drug packaging materials. Cox, 32, was charged with alleged Criminal Possession of a Weapon 2nd Degree, three counts of Criminal Possession of a Controlled Substance 3rd Degree, and two counts of Criminally Using Drug Paraphernalia 2nd Degree.

— COMPILED BY HEIDI SUTTON

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS.

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MARCH 2, 2023 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • PAGE A7
To Place A Legal Notice Email: legals@tbrnewsmedia.com
PUBLICNOTICE LEGALS

Online scammers swindle locals, disturb downtown Port Jeff

Internet fraud, a worsening cybercrime phenomenon, has reached downtown Port Jefferson.

Through various tactics, online scam artists have successfully targeted storefronts and events throughout Port Jefferson, scoring hundreds of dollars in profits.

During the 4th annual ice festival in late January, scammers sold eight fake tickets for a mac ‘n’ cheese crawl organized by the Greater Port Jefferson Chamber of Commerce. On the day of the event, victims presented their fraudulent tickets.

The tickets “looked very official,” said Barbara Ransome, the chamber’s director of operations. However, when chamber staff asked those presenting these scam tickets when they had purchased them, their response revealed that something was out of place.

“They said, ‘We got them two days ago,’ and that’s when I realized this was a scam because we had been sold out … for at least a week and a half,” Ransome said, adding that the popularity of the event created an opening for scam artists. “My speculation is that this person saw that these tickets were sold out, saw that people were looking for them and created this whole fraud situation.”

At Theatre Three on Main, a similar practice has gained traction. Although the theater sells tickets at $35 per seat, online ticket scammers have capitalized by selling back-row seats at enormous markups.

Douglas Quattrock, the theater’s director of development and artistic associate, reported one such incident where a couple spent nearly 10 times the going rate. “We had a couple that paid $672 for a pair of tickets,” he said.

Although only “a handful” of theatergoers have fallen prey to these ticket scams at Theatre Three, Quattrock considered the practice disruptive to operations.

“Being a smaller not-for-profit, we try to keep our prices very family oriented,” he said. However, he added that “scammers see this market as very attractive.”

But online scams are not limited to ticket sales. Jena Turner owns the Port Jeff-based gift shop Breathe, which offers nontraditional healing remedies and psychic readings.

In an interview, Turner reported that multiple phony social media accounts have emerged, using her photos and business name to solicit payments from unsuspecting patrons.

“Right now, I know that there are five accounts that stole my photos and are pretending to be me,” she said.

Social engineering

Nick Nikiforakis, associate professor in the Department of Computer Science at Stony Brook University, said internet fraud is

SOCIAL ENGINEERING

becoming a growing concern for small business sectors, which are increasingly vulnerable to malicious cyber activities.

He contends that online criminals have shifted their sights on smaller boutique organizations because large corporations are investing more resources into cybersecurity systems.

“Effectively, you have cybercriminals who are customizing their attacks toward small businesses,” he said.

Turner’s case, according to Nikiforakis, represents a common social engineering scenario.

A social engineer “makes an online account for a company with a brick-and-mortar presence and then tries to take the recognizable name and the good faith that the business has built,” the associate professor said.

He added, “They are targeting online users, pretending to be the person running this business,” tricking their victims “to send them money, divulge information or in some way get people to participate in a scam.”

A downtown dilemma

Turner said she has reported her digital imposters but has received no relief in removing these scam accounts from the Instagram platform.

“I had reported it to Instagram several times — and by several, I can say probably more than 20,” she said. “Instagram hasn’t done anything about it.”

Nikiforakis noted that there are considerable technical limitations for social media companies

in policing social engineering activities. While they could theoretically verify with storefront owners whenever a platform is created in their name, online scammers often find creative ways to circumvent such safeguards.

“Things can be done, but this is inherently a cat-and-mouse game,” he said. Social engineers “are not attacking a security vulnerability. … They are abusing people’s faith and trust in institutions and recognizable brands.”

Lacking assistance from Big Tech, Turner said she took matters into her own hands, creating a video in which she wrote out her authentic social media handle by hand.

“I made that video, and I just keep reposting

it on my story and on my Facebook so that people aren’t falling for it,” she said. “That’s been really helpful.”

But, she added, “We have over 8,000 followers, so not everyone has seen the video. Unfortunately, the scam is still ongoing.”

To respond to the number of ticket scam incidents, Theatre Three similarly released a statement on its website condemning thirdparty ticket vendors. “The only place to buy tickets from us should be www.theatrethree. com,” Quattrock said.

Still, he encouraged patrons to remain on guard for potentially inflated ticket prices and to approach online transactions cautiously. For those who may suspect a ticketing scam, he implored them to call the theater directly before completing the transaction.

“If it looks suspicious to you, just call the theater and verify that they’re on the right website,” he said.

As online fraud persists throughout the local area, businesses and customers are not without recourse. Nikiforakis indicates that awareness of the typical social engineering strategies can help users protect themselves from participating in online scams.

“There are standard social engineering tactics, such as giving the victim a sense of urgency or taking advantage of their appeal to authority,” he said. “For both patrons and companies, by actively resisting this, you can slow down and potentially defend yourself against an attack.”

PAGE A8 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • MARCH 2, 2023
VILLAGE
“There are standard social engineering tactics, such as giving the victim a sense of urgency or taking advantage of their appeal to authority.”
— NICK NIKIFORAKIS
Pixabay photo
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Scientific officer urges more whale studies

Since 2016, various agencies along the Eastern Seaboard have been investigating unusual mortality events among whales, including humpback, minke and North Atlantic right whales.

ENVIRONMENT & NATURE

In recent months, a growing chorus of politicians, pundits and some environmental groups have suggested that efforts to build wind farms in the water and, specifically, to use sonar to develop a contour of the ocean floor, may be confusing whales, injuring their ears or causing these marine mammals to lose their way.

Research groups such as the Atlantic Marine Conservation Society have raced to the scenes of these beachings, hoping to gather enough information to learn about the lives of these whales and conduct necropsies to determine a cause of death.

[See story, “Humpback whale deaths increase along Eastern Seaboard,” TBR News Media website, Feb. 11.]

For many of these whales, however, the decaying condition of the carcass makes it difficult to draw a conclusive explanation. Additionally, some whales that weigh as much as 30,000 pounds have washed up in remote and protected places, making it difficult to analyze and remove them.

Robert DiGiovanni Jr., chief scientist at AMCS has responded to over 4,600 strandings of marine mammals and sea turtles and has tagged over 120 animals, according to the society’s website. Currently, he is serving as the principal investigator on aerial surveys in the mid-Atlantic region.

Pointing to data from the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration, DiGiovanni suggested that many of the whale strandings relate to vessel strikes.

According to NOAA data, 181 humpback whale mortalities occurred between 2016 and early February of this year. Researchers were able to conduct necropsies on about half of those whales. Of those examined, about 40 percent had evidence of a ship strike or entanglement.

“We don’t have any evidence to suggest” a connection between wind farms and whale deaths, DiGiovanni said. “What we’re seeing is what we’ve been previously seeing.”

He urged a close examination of all the changes and factors that could affect the location and health of whales, “not just one source.”

The chief scientist advocates consistent and ongoing investment in research on a larger scale, which could aid in responding to ongoing concerns about whale mortality events.

Understanding where whales are located is critical to protecting them.

DiGiovanni pointed to street signs around schools and neighborhoods that urge drivers to slow down because there might be children running into the street or playing on lawns.

Similarly, research about the location and movement of marine mammals can enable policies that protect them while they’re around the shores of Long Island and, more broadly, the Eastern Seaboard.

Researchers need to get a “better understanding of where these animals are and how that changes from day to day, week to week and month to month,” DiGiovanni said.

In aerial surveys a few years ago in the first week of February, he saw one or two whales. Two weeks later, he saw 13 right whales.

“We need to get a better understanding of those changes to help manage that,” the chief scientist said.

Against the backdrop of ongoing unusual mortality events, DiGiovanni noted that whale deaths occurred consistently before and during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“We saw a difference in what was going

on in the world, but we still had large whale occurrences,” he said. “Pulling all these pieces together is really important.”

The Atlantic Marine Conservation Society is working to develop incident command systems for marine mammal strandings with towns, fire departments, police and other authorities.

When DiGiovanni gets a call about a stranded whale, he can reach out to local partners, particularly in areas where these events have occurred in the past. Such rapid responses can ensure the safety of the crew and any bystanders on-site and can help bring needed equipment.

“What we do is very specialized,” DiGiovanni said. “Getting people to understand that and getting what’s needed is usually the first challenge.”

Members of the conservation society team sometimes work 12 or 14 days straight without a break, depending on the complexity of a stranding and the number of whales washing up on beaches.

“The people doing this work are extremely dedicated to what they’re trying to answer” about the life and death of marine mammals, he added. Some of them drive six hours to a site to bring their expertise to bear.

“The discovery part is why we do this — to answer questions that would otherwise go unnoticed,” DiGiovanni said.

PAGE A10 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • MARCH 2, 2023
A stranded humpback whale. Photo courtesy the Atlantic Marine Conservation Society
“We don’t have any evidence to suggest” a connection between wind farms and whale deaths.
— ROBERT DIGIOVANNI JR.

LEGALS

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MARCH 2, 2023 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • PAGE A11 One time use only. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other coupon or offer. Coupon offer good until December 31, 2022. Valid for any new service except subscription fees. Must mention coupon at time of sale. 128590 131070
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Indu Kaur was destined to rise from the ashes.

Kaur, who runs The Meadow Club banquet hall in Port Jefferson Station and the Curry Club at SāGhar in Port Jefferson, was born in Afghanistan and survived a series of tragedies to become the woman she is — dedicated to family, exuding confidence and poised to solve the next problem.

In the early hours of July 14, 2018, as she watched flames shoot from the roof of The Meadow Club, Kaur made a promise. “‘The tragedy that happened to us will not happen to anybody else,’” she recalled saying to her father and business partner, Kulwant Wadhwa, thinking about the christening and wedding they were scheduled to host that day. “‘We will make sure everybody’s celebration goes on.’”

And she did, together with her father and sister Kiran, the club’s creative director. Within hours, they secured a new venue and redirected staff members and guests.

Long before Kaur was running hospitality businesses, she was a small girl gathering eggs for breakfast outside the earthen home in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, she shared with

Port Jeff business owner brings hard-won resilience to North Shore hospitality industry

her parents, grandmother, great grandmother, aunts and uncles. Life felt simple inside the multigenerational Sikh home.

Kaur remembered the whole family eating meals together, sitting on traditional hand-sewn floor mattresses. After dinner was the real treat: “The whole family would do this beautiful dance, and then smile, laugh, just be free,” she said.

Outside the home, things were not so free or peaceful. In 1979, when Kaur was a toddler, the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan. The United States supported the antiSoviet rebellion of the Afghan mujahideen guerrilla fighters.

wooden beds and a proper school, but also a backdrop of fear, with unpredictable fighting and bullets flying.

“Seeing our parents not smiling or not dancing after dinner was something we really missed,” she said.

Worse, stray bullets twice hit close to home: One bullet struck a girl at Kaur’s school, and another killed her cousin Harpreet, who was only a couple years older than Kaur. “It could have been me,” she said.

Kaur’s grandmother shielded the children as best she could, trying to bring fun into daily life. “I used to look forward to coming home and washing dishes,” Kaur said, remembering her grandmother would let dishes pile up so the two of them could wash up together after school. “I enjoyed getting wet in the soapy water, and then she would get the hose and, you know.”

cushion. “My grandmother sat on me to hide me,” Kaur said, and she remembered

listening with horror to the threats and demands of the mujahideen. “They beat my dad up, big time.”

From Afghanistan to India and the U.S.

When safely in India, the family’s lifestyle improved again. Wadhwa restarted his pharmaceutical business and was more successful than in Kabul. They would once again, Kaur said, “rise up stronger.”

Delaware and then in Virginia, Kaur built skills, first in retail and computers, and then in banking, working her way up from teller to commercial loan inspector within a couple years. “I was a thriver, I wanted to learn,” she said. “I was eager and hungry for education and doing well.”

Kaur’s ancestors had immigrated to Afghanistan from India several generations before, and Kaur’s father, Wadhwa, who took over his own father’s job as pharmacist and family provider at age 15, remembered the nation with affection. “The country was very safe before the Soviet Union,” he said, recalling there were even buses of American tourists. “It all changed.”

Smaller communities like Jalalabad became hotbeds of fighting, so in the early 1980s, Wadhwa decided to move his family to the relatively safer capital city of Kabul, where his pharmacy business thrived and the family’s lifestyle improved.

They had running water, raised

In February 1989, the Soviet soldiers withdrew from Afghanistan, and for nonMuslim minorities, life worsened further. Wadhwa remembers the mujahideen, predecessors of the Taliban, told the Sikh community, “‘You guys have three options: You guys either leave the country, or die here, or you can work to be a Muslim,’” he said. “They wanted a nation of only Muslims.”

Wadhwa made plans to uproot the family once again, but not before they faced danger one more time.

Early one morning while everyone was still asleep, mujahideen soldiers came into the house, and Kaur was too far distant to reach the basement hideaway she usually crowded into with the other women and children when soldiers came around. While her father stalled the men, her grandmother laid her on a bench, Kaur recalled, and covered her with a blanket to pretend she was a

Kaur, 13 years old when she arrived in Delhi, attended a British school to fill gaps in her education and learn Hindi and English. She also learned what it meant to be a “country girl” refugee wearing big bows and flowery clothes, among young teens who had an eye for glamor. The bullying was brutal, and Kaur said she did what many adolescent girls around the world do — she plucked her eyebrows and changed her style to fit in. One bright spot was “a beautiful British teacher in a sari,” who inspired the confident posture Kaur still holds today, and also taught her what turned out to be a helpful survival tool — the British “stiff upper lip.” She remembered, “Always, spine straight, look straight, perfect expression.” No matter what emotion, “I could take control and just figure it out.”

This skill was vital when, at age 19 in 1994, she arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport as a new bride in an arranged marriage, a common custom in Indian culture. The day the marriage offer came, Kaur remembered Wadhwa asking if she was OK with it. Kaur reflected on how Wadhwa had led the family so far, and told him, “Whatever you do is always good for us, so [I’ll follow] whatever decision you make.”

She faced settling into life in the United States the same way she faced that first meeting with her future husband at JFK: When things were overwhelming, she went with the flow. “I was very good

at smiling and keeping it quiet and having a stable face,” she said. “Emotions were always very internal.” Internal, but not gone. Kaur is a woman who feels deeply but acts decisively. When she tired of feeling lonely in

Kaur’s parents and younger sisters immigrated to Suffolk County as asylum seekers soon after Kaur’s wedding, once again leaving everything behind. Wadhwa built a completely new career in 1996 as a restauranteur serving Indian cuisine at The Curry Club’s first location in East Setauket, powered by family connections and the entrepreneurship he’d learned restarting his pharmaceutical business twice. But in the fall of 2000, tragedy came again, when Kaur’s mother Amargeet was walking the dog and suffered a brain hemorrhage, falling onto the tracks at Port Jefferson railroad station. A departing train severed her arms and one of her legs, but — incredibly — she survived.

Kaur remembered her father running to her when she arrived, devastated, in the waiting room. “He hugged me, and he said,

‘We are done, we are done. I’m destroyed. We are not going to live anymore,’” she recalled. “His heart just poured on my shoulder.”

The whole family was heartbroken by the accident, but they were not done. Everyone banded together to keep the family business running, care for Amargeet and raise Kaur’s youngest sister Kiran, who was only 11. Kaur drove nine hours from Virginia every weekend to help.

This back and forth continued for several years, but eventually the pull of family was too strong to resist.

In 2013, Kaur moved to Long Island and cared for her mother full time. When her father presented the opportunity to take over The Meadow Club with her sister a year later, she was up for the challenge. Kaur remembered feeling nervous since her two children, Sahiba and Sartaj, were still young. Wadhwa told her, “Well, we have each other.”

With Kiran’s contemporary, Americanized vision and Kaur’s practical determination, The Meadow Club was a success. Then, in 2018, it went up in flames. During

construction and permitting, Kaur continued to find venues for her clients and attend events to be sure clients were well served.

Meanwhile, when the COVID-19 pandemic forced restaurants to shut down in 2020, Kaur’s family survived as they always had, together.

Kiran created a donationbased meal delivery service to

hospital workers, Kaur drove the delivery van and her father oversaw food packing. Kaur said they delivered hundreds of meals a day.

When The Meadow Club finally reopened in January 2021, no scars of the fire were visible. The sisters had crafted a modern, classy, better-thanever venue.

“It’s a blissful, blessed

feeling of knowing that, yes, everything is up and running,” Kaur said. “But the best part is that we are together.” And together is how she plans to weather any future storms. “I just keep going, just like my dad,” Kaur said. “We wake up in the morning: All right, it’s a beautiful day, sun is up, what’s next? What do we have to tackle now?”

DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM
Indu, left, with her family in India Indu, right, celebrating Christmas with her sister Kiran and her mother several years after the train accident. Indu, in chef hat, with her managers and sister. Indu runs the omelet station at brunches. Indu, left, with sister Kiran Wadhwa at The Meadow Club’s new garden area. Indu, third from left, with her father, center, and sister Kiran, third from right, at the first anniversary of the Port Jefferson location of Curry Club at SāGhar, last month. Indu, center left, with her sisters at Kiran’s wedding. Indu at her wedding

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EMPLOYMENT/CAREERS

SIGN FABRICATOR / INSTALLER

Well established sign, exhibit & display company looking for a FULL TIME SIGN FABRICATOR AND INSTALLER. Would be responsible for sign and display fabrication and installation.

-Construction planning and ordering materials

-Work closely with our designers to manage projects from fabrication to delivery

-Work with shop tools and equipment

-Estimating lead times and project costs

-Graphic design skills are a plus

-Background in the sign/display industry a plus Miller Mohr & Kelly Design Group in Setauket. 631-941-2769 • info@mmkdg.com

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WE’REHIRING! TECHNICALMANAGER

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The successful candidate will be a vital member of the Production Department at the Staller Center for the Arts, reporting to the Production Manager. The Technical Manager will directly operate and oversee theatrical equipment, events, and production requirements in the Main Stage (1000+ seat concert hall/proscenium theater), Recital Hall (375+ seat concert venue), and the Paul W. Zuccaire Gallery.

Bachelor’s Degree (foreign equivalent or higher). In lieu of a Bachelor’s degree, an Associate’s Degree (foreign equivalent or higher) and two (2) years of work experience in performing arts may be considered. Two (2)

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MonticelloCentralSchool SchoolBuildingPrincipal(2 positions)TheMonticelloCSDis seekingforwardthinkinganddynamicSchoolBuildingPrincipals whocanleadMCSD’shighly engagedfaculty,staff,parents, studentsandcommunity.The successfulcandidatewillhavea visionofeducationalexcellence, behighlymotivatedanddemonstratetheabilitytoimpactstudentlearning.Startingsalary: $125,000,commensuratewith experience.NYSSDA/SDL/SBL CertificationRequiredplus2yrs. ofpreviousadministrativeleadershipand5yrs.exp.asa classroomteacherpreferred. PleaseapplyonlinebyMarch 5thathttps://monticelloschools. tedk12.com/hireEOE

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Wellestablishedsign,exhibit& displaycompanylookingfora fulltimesignfabricatorandinstaller.Wouldberesponsiblefor production&signanddisplay fabricationandinstallation. Constructionplanningand orderingmaterials,Workclosely withourdesignerstomanage projectsfromfabricationto delivery/installation,Workwith shoptoolsandequipment, Estimatingleadtimesand projectcosts,Graphicdesign skillsareaplus,Backgroundin thesign/displayindustryaplus“ MillerMohr&KellyDesign GroupinSetauket. 631-941-2769 info@mmkdg.com

Thesuccessfulcandidatewillbe avitalmemberoftheProduction DepartmentattheStallerCenter fortheArts,reportingtothe ProductionManager.TheTechnicalManagerwilldirectlyoperateandoverseetheatrical equipment,events,andproductionrequirementsintheMain Stage(1000+seatconcerthall/ prosceniumtheater),Recital Hall(375+seatconcertvenue), andthePaulW.ZuccaireGallery.

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in Theater. Three or more years of work experience in performing arts. Experience managing student and professional stagehands. Comprehensive understanding and performance operation of current theatrical systems and programs.

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Letters to the Editor

As Bellone Rides Off, Others Step Forward

Editorial For local elections, put principle over party

It is shaping up to be a big election season for the residents of Suffolk County. It may be early in 2023, but we’re already thinking about Election Day. County Executive Steve Bellone (D) is termed out, triggering massive turnover across levels of local government.

As local Democratic and Republican committees put forward their slate of candidates for county executive, town supervisor and various legislative positions, it is time for We the People to do our homework.

County, town and village officials have a different set of responsibilities than those serving on the state or federal levels. Their duties locally include making decisions about land use, law enforcement, roadwork, waste management, recreational facilities and matters that affect our everyday lives.

Preserving open space, treating our garbage and paving roads are not issues of Democrat versus Republican. These matters impact every resident, which is why it’s important to put aside party affiliation when we enter the voting booth this year. Experience matters.

Before you vote, take a look at the candidates’ respective backgrounds. Does a candidate have relevant experience in the public or private sectors that will aid his or her decision making? Here at TBR News Media, we will take a deep dive into these candidates over the coming months, introducing our readers to their professional backgrounds and policy positions.

We know all the candidates will have much to say in the months ahead, and many will back their goals for our future with concrete plans.

As journalists, it is our job to provide our readers with the information necessary to make informed decisions on Election Day. We take this responsibility seriously and look forward to following these elections closely.

In the meantime, we remind our readers that you play a part in this as well. By writing letters to the editor about the various local races, you have the opportunity to interpret and contextualize our election coverage. Letters are your chance to influence the shape of our democracy, so don’t squander it.

Before voting, remember to research your ballot thoroughly, check your party affiliation at the door and keep an open mind. We will be here to help along the way.

FDA’s record has undermined its credibility

In the recent Associated Press article, “FDA’s own reputation could be restraining its misinfo fight,” the Food and Drug Administration questions why the American public does not fully trust the information provided by the agency.

As chairwoman of Suffolk County’s Addiction Prevention and Support Advisory Panel, I can address that question by asking what most Americans have been wondering for the past 20 years: When was the FDA aware of the opioid epidemic, and what did it do to stop it? Additionally, why are there chemicals in American food, cosmetics and other products that are banned in other countries? And, why are there so many drug commercials on television aimed at the public when it should be up to our doctors to provide pharmaceutical guidance?

The role of the FDA is to protect “the public health by ensuring the safety, efficacy and security of human drugs.” Perhaps it’s not what the FDA does that people don’t trust; it’s what it doesn’t do that Americans question.

Who do we trust?

I think we have reached a pinnacle in our country to put on our calendars, National Fairy Tale Story Day. A quote from conservative commentator Jack Posobiec, “Elon Musk didn’t just buy a company … he purchased a crime scene.”

The radical left has acquired extraordinarily power and has used this power to transform American society within our education system, journalism, technology, sports and entertainment. Despite the best efforts of the most powerful people in the most powerful organizations to “bury” the truth in the fathoms of “the deep state,” FTX, Twitter, Biden and Obama, censorship, collusion and corruption are all being exposed.

There used to be an American game show, “Who Do You Trust?” Who do we trust? Our three-letter agencies are all involved with lies and deceit. The FBI were so busy at school board meetings going after concerned parents while unauthorized Chinese “police stations” were being set up in America. Who let that happen? Why is China owning over 191,000 acres in rural America? Another thought, what is the role China playing in the visit to Moscow? I don’t think it’s playing Chinese checkers with Putin,

rather strategic chess moves within their minds.

Our leaders keep throwing the mirage at us. They lead us astray and confuse the direction of our paths (Isaiah 3:12).

WRITE TO US … We welcome your letters. They should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style and good taste. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include a phone number and address for confirmation. Email letters to: editor1@tbrnewsmedia.com or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

I give credit to The New York Times, Sunday front page article, “Alone, Underage and Exploited for Labor.” Again, it’s exposing the truth of this selfmade crisis. This is not a political issue, this is a human-being issue.

We need the best of the best, not just in the athletic arena but across the board for America: teachers, politicians, doctors, lawyers, etc. Merit should drive the way.

Our school system needs to be rebooted. There is a need to restore school standards along with restoring “election integrity.” If you ask the youth in China of their aspirations they will answer astronaut, scientist or engineer. Ask the youth of America, their answer is social media. Why is TikTok still around?

To conclude with a positive quote from John Adams, our second president, “Let frugality and industry be our virtues. Fire (our children) with ambition to be useful.” Let’s see Congress’ “spending diet.” May it be lean and responsible for the taxpayer money. God help America.

No cancellation requested

In one of his recent letters [“Sign of our times”, Feb. 9], George Altemose accused me of wanting to “cancel” him and letter writer Mark Sertoff, supposedly because I disagree with their opinions about Rep. George Santos’ [R-NY3] election and electric vehicle efficiency [“Not only Santos economical with the truth”, “No electric car for me”, Jan. 19]. For the record, I don’t want to “cancel” anyone, and actually agree with them that politicians lie and EV technology is immature. I questioned the value of their letters because their arguments were disingenuous and therefore merely performative. If Altemose doesn’t care how Santos got elected, he should say so, rather than pretend that Santos’ lies are equivalent to the exaggeration and hype that politicians of both parties have always engaged in.

If Sertoff doesn’t think we can — or should — mitigate fossil fuel emissions, he should say so, rather than pretend to

be concerned about the maturity of EV technology.

It would be wonderful to see thoughtful, good-faith letters from the right, but instead we regularly see disingenuous, sarcastic rants about “wokism,” “cancel culture,” “socialism” and “CRT” with no facts or logic to be found. Until we see more intellectually honest letters, we should continue to point out bogus rhetorical tactics. In any case, the First Amendment rights of Altemose and Sertoff will remain uninfringed since TBR Media, as a private company, can print — or not print — whatever it chooses.

Refreshingly, Altemose’s latest letter [“How to tackle carbon dioxide emissions”, Feb. 23] frankly acknowledges the reality of humancaused climate change and makes a concrete, fact-based policy proposal: Use more nuclear power production to supplement renewable energy sources. Although we could do without the sarcasm, he correctly points out the hypocrisy of some on the left for rejecting nuclear out of hand. I agree we should strive to make policy decisions based on science and evidence.

But the nuclear power programs of France and South Korea have been more successful than ours because they are both run by nation-level, state-owned utilities. This has allowed them to standardize reactor technology, build multiple plants simultaneously, consolidate technical and operations expertise, avoid the need for an adversarial regulatory framework and ensure accountability via high-profile political oversight. While not perfect, this approach has made French and South Korean nuclear plants safer and more economical than those produced under the one-off, state-by-state, externally regulated, private for-profit contractor model used in the U.S. Would Americans support a federally owned nuclear utility (“socialism”!) if it meant a safer, cheaper and emissionsfree energy supply? That’s a good question worth some vigorous, factbased debate.

PAGE A22 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • MARCH 2, 2023
The
letter
their
They do not speak for the newspaper.
opinions of columnists and
writers are
own.
Cartoon by Kyle Horne: kylehorneart.com @kylehorneart

A random email triggers memories of Secret Santas and bubble bath

Ihave had one of those weeks where the phrase “It’s a small world after all” applies.

Let’s start with events from over three decades ago, shall we?

I had spent considerable time with Michelle when I was in college, as we both loved biology and studied coenzymes together.

I had met Michelle’s father several times, mostly when a group of us visited her house. Her father, who was a doctor, was a wonderful host.

exactly the same last name,” he said.

I held my breath.

“His first name was Ivan.”

A small electric shock worked its way through my body.

“That was my father,” I replied.

“Was?” he asked.

My father had died months earlier after an exhausting and painful battle with cancer.

I hadn’t developed “reporter” mode, which is what my children call it when questions leap at rapid fire pace from my brain to my mouth. Instead, I tried to imagine this man and my father as roommates in medical school.

with ideas to get their clients into the TBR newspapers.

I can’t always see a direct link between the coverage of stories in a community newspaper on Long Island and ideas that sometimes seem localized to other parts of the planet. When the connection seems tenuous, I don’t always read the emails all that carefully.

Recently, I received one such pitch and, despite not having a strong interest in the subject, read through the entire thing. The public relations executive was suggesting we cover a lecturer, author and authority figure in a particular field.

shares with audiences at conferences.

She not only attended college at the same time and place, but was in the same dorm for three years. In our sophomore year, I was her Secret Santa, which means that I bought small gifts for her and asked friends and roommates to leave them surreptitiously outside her dorm room. It’s a fun gift exchange and improves mental health during exams and amid shorter daylight hours.

One night, I sat at a dinner with my friends, before the “Secret Santa reveal,” suppressing a satisfied smirk as her roommate described what a wonderful Secret Santa her friend had.

I had also met Michelle’s father’s partners in his medical practice. We spoke to each other on a first-name basis.

One of his partners and I were in a spacious kitchen as the sun was setting over a nearby hill. The partner asked me my last name.

When I spelled it out, he studied me closely.

“I had a roommate in medical school with

I asked a few questions, for which he had short and not particularly informative answers. Later that night, I called my mom to tell her about the interaction. She said she knew the man and that he and my father were roommates and friends for a short time.

That brings me to story number two. I frequently receive pitch emails from people in the field of public relations. These executives from all over the country and the world — including Japan and Australia — email me

The first and middle names sounded familiar. When I got to the end of the pitch, where the email shared the person’s background, I realized that this woman and I attended the same college.

In fact, when I saw her picture, I immediately recognized her. She looked remarkably similar to how she looked decades ago —so, kudos to her for an ability to defy the effects of aging and gravity. That, I thought as I looked at her wrinkle-free face, could also be a topic she

Get a Medicare card and you may have reached FOGO

Adear friend of mine just celebrated her 65th birthday this week, and she regards it as a significant number. “How did I get here so fast?” she asks.

She also recognizes that she is getting older. That might even be a little scary.

Yes, she is now covered by Medicare. This is both an asset and a shock.

is aging, that she has entered the first phase of the three-part delineation of older age. There is the young-older, from 65-75; then the middleolder, from 75-85; and the third segment, 85-95. Whoever decides and names these demographic groupings seems to have been unable to imagine any group beyond that point. Maybe it should be called “The Beyond Expectations Group.”

Although there are more older people in America than ever before, aging is fearful for 87% of the population, according to a survey of those turning 65 conducted by Pfizer. It’s called FOGO — fear of getting old.

Why are people afraid of getting old?

Her roommate quoted from the poem I had left her (in my roommate’s considerably more aesthetically pleasing handwriting) with a bottle of bubble bath. Wouldn’t it be funny if the secret to her youthful appearance were bubble baths, which she started using many years ago after getting an inexpensive Secret Santa gift? Probably not.

Either way, it’s a small world where unexpected connections can and do crop up, even in random emails.

fear of losing independence.

Interestingly, only 10% in the survey said they were afraid of dying.

Between

When she looks at her new Medicare card, she wonders how this could be. Is she really now eligible for Medicare?

Her grandmother was on Medicare, surely not her. But there is her name; the reality is undeniable.

“Well,” she silently acknowledges, “it’s good to have that coverage.” But the sight still stings a bit.

Part of her response is the awareness that she

With her new realization comes a vow to concentrate on her health and to make the ensuing years hardy ones. She has vowed to pay more attention to her diet, to make better choices concerning what she eats. More fruits and veggies are in store. But no amount of blueberries and kale can eliminate aging. She has now followed through with her long-held intention to work with a trainer. And she is getting a new mattress to help her sleep better.

My friend is doing something helpful for herself. She is turning concerns of aging and the rapid passing of time into better health actions so as to control how she wants to age. Life for her will no longer be just on automatic pilot.

There are a number of reasons. Aging can diminish employment prospects. It is a given that older employees earn more than younger newcomers, and while it is illegal to discriminate by age, we all know that such bias exists. It is no wonder, then, that plastic surgeons do facelifts to combat wrinkles and laugh lines, adjust sagging necks and erase any other evidence of aging. And it is not only women who undergo such procedures. Many men feel the need to blunt evidence of having lived into and past middle age.

People fear losses: of physical ability, of their good looks, of sufficient finances, of memory, of loved ones and consequently of being lonely, and even of their health shortly to be burdened with chronic diseases. Underlying all this is the

Other cultures respect and may even venerate older members of society. Aging can bring people an enhanced sense of gratitude, a calmer demeanor, an awareness of what is truly important, greater ability to resolve conflicts and even an inclination toward forgiveness. Elders are assumed to have accumulated some wisdom just from more years of living and are respected for that.

Of one thing, my friend is sure. When we consider milestones, it seems like the time between them is little more than the blink of an eye. She clearly remembers the details of her Sweet 16 party, the fun of turning 21, her graduation from law school and now suddenly, to be in the Final Frontier is one swift stroke of time after the other. Blink and you are 65. And along comes the recognition that the future is no longer assured.

My friend does not want to go quietly into older age.

MARCH 2, 2023 • THE PORT TIMES RECORD • PAGE A23
you and me
TIMES BEACON RECORD NEWS MEDIA We welcome letters, photographs, comments and story ideas. Send your items to P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733 or email editor1@tbrnewsmedia.com. Times Beacon Record Newspapers are published every Thursday. Subscription $59/year • 631-751-7744 www.tbrnewsmedia.com • Contents copyright 2023 EDITOR AND PUBLISHER Leah S. Dunaief GENERAL MANAGER Johness Kuisel MANAGING EDITOR Rita J. Egan EDITOR Raymond Janis LEISURE EDITOR Heidi Sutton COPY EDITOR John Broven ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Kathleen Gobos ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Elizabeth Bongiorno Robin Lemkin Larry Stahl Katherine Yamaguchi Minnie Yancey ART AND PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Beth Heller Mason PRODUCTION Janet Fortuna Sharon Nicholson CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTOR & SUBSCRIPTIONS MANAGER Sheila Murray BUSINESS MANAGER Sandi Gross CIRCULATION & LEGALS MANAGER Courtney Biondo INTERNET STRATEGY DIRECTOR Rob Alfano SPECIAL PROJECTS MANAGER Kathryn Mandracchia 1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 Year After Year AwardWinning Newspapers
Opinion
D. None of the above
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