The Times of Smithtown - April 20, 2023

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St. James-Smithtown Little League Opening Day launched with community parade,celebration

BY STEVEN ZAITZ DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

The late Brooklyn Dodger great Jackie Robinson once said that a life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.

It was only fitting that the St. James-Smithtown Little League Opening Day parade and celebration coincided with Major League Baseball’s annual day of recognition of Robinson.

Over 1,000 players, coaches, parents, and baseball fans marched and lined the sidewalks of Woodlawn Avenue west to Gaynor Park in St. James on Saturday as the league marks its 66th year of little league competition — and the impact of this celebration of baseball’s return to Smithtown could be measured by the smiles of everyone who was there.

The 11 and Under Girls Softball team, who won the New York State Championship in July of 2022, rode in the Fighting Two Fire Engine of the St. James Fire Department, which led the parade west on Woodlawn to the new artificial turf field at Gaynor. The champs were honored lavishly throughout the day. Five hundred other players and coaches followed them, dressed in full uniforms, all carrying decorative team banners with one hand and waving to adoring onlookers with the other.

This trip down Smithown’s version of the Canyon of Heroes was the thrill of a lifetime for the girls.

“The fire truck arrived and one of the firefighters asked the girls to enter, the shocked look on their faces said it all,” said Coach Sean Singh, who piloted the team to glory. “As the fire truck slowly drove along the parade route, they quickly realized that the cheering from friends, family and community was all for them!

Having so many people come down to personally congratulate the young ladies was such an honor and their success spoke volumes to the quality of programs Smithtown provides such as our Little League program, along with the opportunities we can provide for our younger athletes.”

Singh’s daughter, Jiselle, plays shortstop for the team.

“Riding in that fire truck was so cool,” Jiselle said. “When I heard the cheering and knew it was for us, I almost cried.”

Tears of joy and laughter were de rigueur on this day, as hot dogs, hamburgers, popcorn and soft drinks were available to all at no cost. League sponsors pitched tents along the foul line of Gaynor Field 3 to ply their wares and dole out raffle tickets, most to kids who didn’t know or care what the prizes were. Two giant, rainbow-colored bouncy houses rollicked behind the centerfield fence, as the rain that had been predicted earlier in the week for this day, exercised a reasonable restraint.

SJSLL Board Member and Co-Softball Coach Peter Russo welcomed the crowd and then league President and Master of Ceremonies Richard Tomitz introduced the girls individually in his customary carnival barker style.

“This is a great day and great celebration of our league, our town and our State Championship girls,” said Tomitz. “It is the first time we are able to have this party on the new turf field here at Gaynor and I’m happy the rain held off and everyone is able to have a wonderful time and stay mostly dry.”

Tomitz then brought Town Supervisor Ed Wehrheim to the podium and he, along with Councilman Tom Lohmann, who played in SJSLL in the late 1960s, threw out the ceremonial first pitch of the season to softballers Gabrielle Krayewski and Riley Connelly. Players and coaches formed a semi-circle around the two politicians as parents

and fans cheered from the bleachers.

Wehrheim also gave his congratulatory remarks to the softball champs, the league and spoke glowingly about the project team who helped to complete the turf field. This improvement was the clincher that enabled St. James-Smithtown to acquire the hosting rights to the New York State Championship later in the summer.

“This is an amazing group of girls, and they represented this town with class and excellence,” Wehrheim told the crowd. “This new field surface and improved grounds project was truly a team effort with the league, town hall and the community and is a great example of your tax dollars working for Smithtown.”

Lucas Neems, who is six years old, is not yet focused on a championship, but was nevertheless having the time of his life.

“I loved marching with my new baseball friends,” said Lucas, who plays on Pietro’s Sandlot Scrappers. “I also loved the chocolate ice cream

and the pretzels.”

When the ceremony was over and most of the crowd took to the free food, it was time to play ball for a select few. On the main diamond, Singh, Russo, Eric Hanson and Mark Sciortino shared coaching duties for a mixture of girls in blue and red, while minor league boys kicked off the baseball season on Gaynor Field Two. Later on, the 12-year-old boys, the oldest group in the league, played a game on the new turf. This ballgame closed out the party, as sponsors, food vendors and face-painters folded up their tents.

“It was a great time,” Tomitz said. “We had competitive baseball and softball, everybody seemed to have fun, and I’m happy the girls got the recognition and kudos that they deserve. If they win again this year on our home turf, I hope Supervisor Wehrheim gives them one of those giant keys to the city.”

For more photos, visit tbrnewsmedia.com.

Town of Smithtown Councilman Tom Lohmann, left, and Supervisor Ed Wehrheim throw out the ceremonial first pitch at St. James-Smithtown Opening Day gala. Photo by Steven Zaitz

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NYC may soon announce Center for Climate Solutions winner

BY DANIEL DUNAIEF DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

feature dormitories and housing and provide space for New Yorkers and visitors to discuss climate change.

UNIVERSITY

The New York City Mayor’s Office and the Trust for Governors Island may soon announce the winner for the global competition to create the Center for Climate Solutions.

In October, Stony Brook University was announced as a finalist for the ambitious project. Northeastern University and the City University of New York and the New School were the leaders of the other bids.

A multidimensional environmental effort designed to educate the public, offer climate solutions and ensure equitable climate solutions, the competition, which was launched in 2020 by former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (D), is expected to create over $1 billion in economic impact and create 7,000 permanent jobs.

The winner or winners will create a space on the island that features views of the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge with several key features. The center will provide a way to study the impacts of climate change, host a living lab that provides entrepreneurs and nonprofits that can test and showcase their climate solutions, serve as an urban center for environmental justice organizations,

Partners on the Stony Brook proposal include Brookhaven National Laboratory, International Business Machines, Georgia Institute of Technology, Pace University, Pratt Institute, University of Washington, Duke University, Moody’s Corporation, Rochester Institute of Technology, SUNY Maritime College, Oxford University, URBS Systems, General Electric and other business, nonprofit and on-Island partners.

The proposals offered ways to support interdisciplinary research focused on urban adaptation, urban environments, public policy, environmental justice and public health.

At the same time, the finalists offered educational programs for students all the way from K-12 through graduate and adult education.

The center will provide workforce training opportunities, incubators and accelerator spaces for nonprofits and entrepreneurs working on climate and public programming.

The selection committee that is choosing the winners includes representatives from the Trust for Governors Island, Mayor Eric Adams’s (D) Office of Climate and Environmental Justice, the Mayor’s Office of Equity and the New York City Department of City Planning.

“New York City is facing some of the most complex climate adaptation challenges in the world,” Kizzy Charles-Guzman, executive director of the Mayor’s Office of Climate and Environmental Justice, said in a statement when the finalists were

announced last October. “The Center for Climate Solutions will bring together actionable science, community-based partnerships and innovative and equitable solutions to communities on the frontline of the climate crisis.”

Smithtown BOE meeting discusses armed guards, policy matters, time-out rooms

BY LEAH CHIAPPINO LCHIAPPINO@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

which armed guards were on campus during shootings.

Matthew Gribbin, BOE president, thanked Elbert for expressing his concerns, noting the decision was not made lightly and offering to discuss it with him further.

EDUCATION

During the April 11 Smithtown Central School District Board of Education meeting, the district honored students who achieved high placements in the Robotics Competition and DECA state finals, where each competitor chooses to compete in one of four career clusters: marketing, business management and administration, hospitality and tourism, or finance.

The district also passed policies relating to time-out rooms, and updates to the Freedom of Information Act.

Armed guards

During the public participation portion of the meeting, Maddox Elbert, Smithtown High School East’s Class of ’26 president, spoke out against the district’s February decision to hire armed guards.

“I’m not a criminal,” he said. “My classmates are not criminals and my teachers are not criminals. Stop treating us like them.”

He went on to cite a variety of statistics and arguments against armed guards, including increased anxiety and cases in

“When it’s our responsibility to protect over 8,000 students, we take that extremely seriously and we understand that not everybody will agree with it,” Gribbin said. “But we’re not going to sit back and wait and hope nothing happens.”

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we had the opportunity to protect our students and our staff and our community, and we didn’t,” he added.

Policy meeting

Trustees Michael Catalanotto, and Michael Saidens along with an attorney for the district, Steven Goodstadt, Superintendent Mark Secaur, among others, met at a prior policy meeting.

Officials reviewed policy with Goodstadt, and discussed certain areas to be updated.

Saidens suggested the district could have parents sign a form noting they reviewed the school’s concussion policy rather than them hearing it in passing. Other policies for

review included enforcement of nonresident students attending the district. Goodstadt recommended the district updates policy further, specifically proof of residency requirements, to make the policy more enforceable.

Officials agreed to bring in feedback from administrators and faculty before suggesting changes to the district’s social media policy between students and teachers

Secaur said he thinks the policy should set clear boundaries for students and teachers for what they can and can’t do. Saidens said social media should be used positively to highlight students, but acknowledged there was a possibility that contact between students and faculty could go down the wrong road. Saidens did not respond to a request for comment to further clarify his position.

The policy presently prohibits staff from posting “pictures, video or any other material that identifies students or provides any information that would be considered confidential” on social media sites “Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, VSCO, LinkedIn, Messenger, Pinterest, Yelp, Google, WordPress, YouTube, blogs, etc.” It also requires staff to keep their personal social media activities/accounts private from students.

Time-out rooms

The school board adopted a policy relating to a time-out rooms, which will be used in cases in which the “Committee on Special Education has made a recommendation that this type of behavior management approach would be appropriate.”

The rooms are meant to give students an opportunity to de-escalate and regulate their emotions, so they can return to instruction. The policy states the rooms are to be used “in conjunction with a therapeutic behavior management intervention” or in an emergency situation. The use of the rooms must be specified in the student’s individualized education program, which also needs to give direction on the maximum amount of time students can stay in the room, taking into account their age and needs.

Parents need to be notified prior to the rooms being used and must be shown the space upon request. The amount of time students are in the rooms will be carefully monitored to “ensure that a time-out room is not being used to the detriment of a student or student’s educational program.”

A room can never be locked, and a staff member must be able to see and hear the student.

Above, conceptual rendering of the proposed Center for Climate Solutions on Governors Island. Photo from New York City

Paper Sold Out on the New tand?

The following incidents have been reported by Suffolk County Police: Ronkonkoma man arrested for assault

Suffolk County Police arrested a Ronkonkoma man on April 15 for allegedly intentionally striking a police officer and two police vehicles with a Mercedes he was driving in North Lindenhurst last month.

On March 9, Christian Castillo allegedly intentionally crashed a 2022 Mercedes Benz C20 into two police vehicles and allegedly intentionally struck a police officer on foot on 50th Street, at approximately 7:35 p.m. Castillo then fled the scene in the Mercedes. The officer on foot was transported to a local hospital for treatment of non-life-threatening injuries.

Following an investigation by the Major Case Unit, Castillo, 20, of Ronkonkoma, was arrested and charged with alleged Assault 2nd Degree, two counts of Criminal Mischief 3rd Degree, and Resisting Arrest.

Holbrook registered nurse arrested

On April 12 Suffolk County District Attorney Raymond A. Tierney announced the arrest of Amanda Burke, a registered nurse, who was charged with alleged Endangering the Welfare of a Child, a Class A misdemeanor.

According to the investigation, on February 6, Burke, 29, of Holbrook, who, at the time of the incident, was employed by Good Samaritan Hospital in West Islip and working in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), was assigned to care for the two-day old infant. Burke allegedly approached the newborn while he was lying in a bassinet, lifted him up, quickly flipped him over, and violently slammed him face down on the bassinet.

The infant’s father recorded a video of the incident on his cellular telephone through the nursery window. After viewing the recording, the infant’s mother confronted Burke. When the parents notified other members of Good Samaritan Hospital’s nursing staff of Burke’s egregious act, Burke was directed to leave the hospital, and her employment was terminated.

East Northport massage parlor raided

Suffolk County Police arrested two women for alleged prostitution during a massage parlor raid in East Northport on April 14. In response to community and quality of life complaints, Second Precinct Crime Section officers and Second Squad detectives, in conjunction with the Fire Marshal and officials from the Town of Huntington Public Safety, conducted an investigation into Time Foot Spa, located at 41 Larkfield Road, at approximately 3 p.m.

CAUGHT ON CAMERA

Wanted for petit larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Fourth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate two people who allegedly stole clothing from Old Navy, located at 2089 Smith Haven Plaza in Lake Grove, at approximately 11:40 a.m. on April 1. They fled the scene in a white Nissan Murano.

Following an investigation, Qiaoling Guan, 51, of Flushing, and Suyuan Zhang Caruso, 62, of Commack, were arrested and charged with alleged Prostitution and Unauthorized Practice of a Profession. Additional summonses were issued from the Town of Huntington Public Safety.

— COMPILED BY HEIDI SUTTON

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS.

Do you recognize this couple? Photo from SCPD

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Hundreds turn out for St. James car show

Throughout the day April 16, car lovers filled the grounds of Flowerfield in St. James to enjoy Long Island Cars’ Car Show and Swap Meet.

Attendees were able to view an array of custom and collectible show cars and trucks

from vintage to exotic. Auto-related vendors were also on hand for those looking for accessories or parts for their own vehicle.

The show will return to St. James on Sunday, June 4.

Townline Rail is a proposed alternative to trucking locally generated incinerator ash from the Huntington-Smithtown waste-to-energy facility as well as Construction & Demolition debris off Long Island once the Brookhaven landfill is closed.

This ash is created from incinerated trash collected in the Towns of Smithtown and Huntington only.

Townline Rail will not have the capacity to handle all of Long Island’s ash and debris. There are six active or proposed rail transport facilities on Long Island — all of which are local solutions to managing local ash and debris.

Town of Smithtown recognizes the environmental and cost benefits to the taxpayers of shipping its ash by rail versus trucking it off Long Island (2015 Draft Comprehensive Plan).

— Photos by Rita J. Egan

Cougars take two out of three

BY BILL LANDON DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

It was Luke Ciminiello’s bat that spoke first with a home run to drive in a run for the Bulls of Smithtown East in the opening inning for the early 2-0 lead in a road game against Centereach Thursday, April 13. The Cougars battled back, edging ahead to win 10-6 in the final game of a three-game series where Centereach won two out of three in the League IV matchup. The win lifts Centereach to 2-6 in the early season as the Bulls drop to 3-5.

— Photos by Bill Landon

Pictures clockwise from above, Cole Conte holds the runner on at second base; inset: Michael Chiarello lays down a bunt for Smithtown East; Collin Hagen of Centereach tries to pick-off Owen Shortellt; Luke Ciminiello slides into second base; and Evan Schickler drives the ball deep to right for Smithtown East in a road game against Centereach.

Lady Eagles remain unbeaten, beat Northport 21-0

BY STEVEN ZAITZ DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

The Hauppauge girls flag football team remained undefeated after shutting out the Northport Lady Tigers on Monday, 21-0.

They are now 6-0 in their maiden season, have the most wins on all of Long Island, and are 5-0 in League I play. Northport, who had their three-game winning streak snapped, falls to 3-2.

Hauppauge freshman quarterback Taylor Mileti was 9 for 13 and tossed two touchdowns passes. She played well in all three phases of the game, collecting 10 flag pulls on defense, had two interceptions and punted the ball effectively on special teams. One of her punts was downed at the Northport one-yard line and on the next play from scrimmage, Hauppauge was able to force a Lady Tiger safety for two points. Eagle receiver Melissa O’Connor had seven receptions for 46 yards, and H Back Meredith Terracciano had caught a 40-yard TD bomb from Mileti in the first half.

Northport Freshman quarterback Grace Gilmartin had a much rougher day as she threw six interceptions, the last of which was returned for a touchdown at the final gun by Francesca Gatien. Gilmartin was pressured by a relentless Lady Eagle pass rush that was aided and abetted by an injury to Northport center Isabella Bica. Northport’s replacement centers were having trouble snapping the ball back to Gilmartin with sufficient velocity, and she was forced to scramble and hurry her throws. In Northport’s two losses this year, they have committed a combined 10 turnovers.

Despite giving the six turnovers, Northport’s defense was responsible for 12 of Hauppauge’s points as Tiger defensive linemates Kenzie Bliven and Caroline Bender combined for 14 flag pulls — five of which were behind the line of scrimmage.

Hauppauge tried to roll a lucky seven in a row when they traveled to Huntington on Wednesday. Results were not available at press time. Northport will look to get back on the winning track on the road at Lindenhurst on Friday, April 21.

— Photos by Steven Zaitz

Pictured clockwise from upper left, Kenzie Bliven defends against Hauppauge’s Taylor Mileti. Eagles Melissa O’Connor; Reilly Kirby, Kristen Tarasenko and Francesca Gatien.

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Letters to the Editor Editorial

Food before football: Long Island’s uphill battle against childhood hunger

We have a hunger problem on Long Island.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture defines food insecurity as “a household-level economic and social condition of limited or uncertain access to adequate food.” Last year, Long Island Cares published a study that states as many as 230,000 Long Islanders are food insecure, with a staggering 68,000 food insecure children. These estimates come as food prices and inflation continue to climb.

The United States has the largest national economy by GDP on the planet. We lead the world in scientific and technological innovation as well as defense spending. Still, nearly 70,000 children right here on Long Island are food insecure.

In our democracy, citizens finance the government with the understanding that our tax dollars will advance meaningful public ends. In exchange for our votes, we expect government officials to plow our roads, secure our neighborhoods and ameliorate the condition of society in common.

Unfortunately, politicians don’t always follow these guidelines, instead pursuing the policy preferences of the donor class financing their campaigns. Too often, our elected representatives serve special interest groups over ordinary citizens.

The next national budget asks Congress for $858 billion in defense spending — a figure that dwarfs the $122 billion budget request for the federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.

While we certainly acknowledge the necessity of national security, we remind our leaders to balance this priority with the equally significant need of feeding children. The values of providing for the common defense and promoting the general welfare are not mutually exclusive.

For New York state, Gov. Kathy Hochul (D) has proposed cutting funding for the state’s Hunger Prevention and Nutrition Assistance Program — which funds food banks and pantries — from $56 million to some $35 million.

This proposal comes less than a year after Hochul helped broker a deal to construct a new football stadium for the Buffalo Bills — whose owner is worth $6.7 billion — using $600 million in taxpayer funds.

The governor’s decision to prioritize football over food banks is inexcusable, in part benefiting millionaire athletes and a billionaire owner at the expense of hungry Long Island school children. We encourage Hochul to reconsider her budget request, making the appropriate investment in alleviating hunger in our communities.

As with any complex social issue, we cannot blame any person or group. But we must ask ourselves if our elected leaders can do more to combat food insecurity. Fortunately, we have recourse.

Organizations such as Agape Meals for Kids and Long Island Cares are contributing valuably, working to address food insecurity on Long Island and eliminate hunger. We should support such organizations by donating money or volunteering our time.

Childhood hunger should be regarded as a national security risk and a critical societal danger. Children are the next generation of soldiers, workers and leaders in this country. If adequately fed, they will be more competent in school and more successful in life. If not, the entire nation loses.

We must hold our representatives to a higher standard and do our part to support nonprofits making a change. With our aims in focus, let us end childhood hunger on Long Island.

For an Island as rich as ours, to have 68,000 children go hungry every day is more than unconscionable. It’s a sin.

Legitimate issues with wind and solar power

The letter by George Altemose [TBR News Media, April 13] raises some very legitimate issues with wind and solar power. Politicians are often happy to say that power will be 100% carbon free by a certain date. Such claims as Sunrise Wind providing power for about 600,000 homes as Altemose recounts makes clear the claim is about making electricity generation carbon free; the much more difficult issue is to make all energy use carbon free. Currently, electricity generation amounts to one-third of the energy used by New York state, and of that, about half is already carbon free, coming mainly from nuclear and hydro sources. The other energy uses are about one-third for transportation and one-third for everything else, such as heating buildings and industrial uses. The national goal is to decarbonize electrical generation at the same time that other energy requirements are shifted to electricity, for example, electric vehicles and heat pumps.

Electrical power generation has to be matched with the demand. As Altemose points out, wind and solar are intermittent sources and there are times when more power is needed than they can produce. It is important that the system includes sources that provide a baseline power such as nuclear, and also power that can be turned on when needed such as hydro. Altemose mentions several forms of energy storage systems that would need further development to address the shortfall in renewable energy. Another key component is the ability to import power from other regions where the wind may be blowing or the sun shining, and for this the grid must be modernized and upgraded. The Inflation Reduction Act includes $65 billion to upgrade the grid and make it more resilient. Once the grid is improved then market forces for electricity should help to distribute energy from the whole country to where it is needed. A high voltage DC line can carry power 1,000 miles with only a few percent losses.

Additional power will need to be added to the electrical system, to account for electric vehicles and heat pumps. Estimates are that this is comparable to the percentage increase in electrical demand that happened when air conditioning became more widespread. It will happen over tens of years and all systems must be improved over that time scale.

This transition to green energy will not be easy, and the fossil fuel companies will continue to fight it tooth and nail, but we must do it to keep the Earth a good place for humankind. The U.S. has put more CO2 into the atmosphere than any other country, including China, so we must lead the solution of this worldwide problem, and it is good for business to do so.

Peter Bond, Stony Brook Gene Sprouse, South Setauket

The drawbacks of nuclear power

In his recent letter [TBR News Media, April 13], George Altemose touts nuclear power as a solution to global warming. Certainly nuclear power, which emits zero greenhouse gas, should be considered with an open mind. The problem is that Altemose’s letter fails to mention its drawbacks.

First, there is the problem of nuclear waste and its ultimate disposal. High level radioactive waste is extremely lethal even in small quantities and remains so for tens of thousands of years. Although the nuclear industry claims that underground disposal in leak proof containers would be safe, I remain skeptical of human ability to fashion something that remains intact for such a length of time.

Another problem is security. Currently the largest nuclear reactor in Europe is in a war zone in Ukraine. One of the targets considered by the 9/11 terrorists was a nuclear power plant. Nuclear waste, most of which is currently stored above ground in concrete casks, presents a tempting target for terrorists or enemies.

Another issue is accidents. A nuclear power plant is incredibly complex in design and operation. Even with the utmost care and precision the unexpected can occur, leading to a dangerous accident. In his Feb. 23 letter, Altemose mentions Diablo Canyon and Indian Point. The former is located in an earthquake zone, near

two known faults. The latter is located in the most densely populated section of the country. It’s 35 miles from Times Square and less than 50 miles from Smithtown.

Lastly there are the massive cost overruns and delays in building nuclear plants, which are extraordinarily expensive to begin with. An MIT study indicates these cannot be attributed solely or even mainly to safety regulations. Two new reactors being built in Georgia are currently five years behind schedule and have a cost overrun of some $20 billion beyond the original estimate of $14 billion. This is not an isolated instance. When cost overruns occur, who do you think pays? Hint: it’s not the power company, which makes a regulated profit, and it’s not the government. Here in Long Island we all remember the Shoreham fiasco.

One promising proposal by MIT engineers and others is to build small modular reactors, instead of the behemoths currently completed or under construction. However this technology has yet to be implemented, still produces nuclear waste and requires increased transportation of nuclear fuel.

If we’re going to seriously address global warming it’s important to keep an open mind and to consider costs and benefits rationally. That’s why I have trouble understanding why Altemose and others are so reflexively hostile toward solar and wind power. As of the end of 2021, the U.S. had 120,503 megawatts of solar photovoltaic power capacity. China had 306,560 MW. There’s a similar disparity for wind. The U.S. and China have virtually the same land mass. China is far more densely populated.

So is Altemose saying that the U.S. is technologically or otherwise incapable of matching or exceeding China? I just don’t believe it.

David Friedman St. James

WRITE TO US … AND KEEP IT LOCAL

We welcome your letters, especially those responding to our local coverage, replying to other letter writers’ comments and speaking mainly to local themes. Letters should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style, good taste and uncivil language. They will also be published on our website. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include an address and phone number for confirmation. Email letters to:

editor1@tbrnewsmedia.com or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

Wanting air time amid a wall of words

Idon’t know if teeter-totters exist anymore. Remember them? Two people sit on opposite ends of a board, with a support in the middle. They start at the same height, facing each other, with legs extended. One person pushes up while the other bends his or her legs and gets closer to the ground. The one on the bottom pushes off, while the one on the top heads toward the ground.

The image seems like an apt simile for conversations.

In one-on-one conversations, these interactions sometimes involve prolonged periods when one person is on the ground, and the other is stuck in the air, waiting for the speaker to stop talking so he or she can come to the ground and share some thoughts and reactions.

I have had numerous experiences where it seems the teeter-totter gets stuck in one position, much more often than not with me dangling in the air. Yes, I am a decent listener. No, I don’t hear or register everything my wife or anyone else tells me. I do, however, have an ability to listen to a meandering story that includes many detours, recitations of facts that aren’t germane to the main thread of the story, and to self editing. To wit:

“It was a Tuesday that I lost my dog.”

Somewhere along the lines, I wonder what happened to the fine art of conversational teeter-tottering, with a predictable and relaxing back-and-forth rhythm.

The stories from another person continue, with one bleeding into the next one so endlessly that I feel like I’m listening to excerpts from several different books on tape.

As I listen, I wonder what my role is. Clearly, the other person doesn’t want or need to hear much from me.

I sometimes wish there were a swimmer’s clock behind the person’s head, which would allow me to time the minutes between sounds like “uh huh,” and “oh yeah,” and “really? no way! That’s terrible/wonderful/amazing/ ridiculous!”

lists of chores in my head, wondering who didn’t give this person a chance to speak when he or she was younger.

An actual pause periodically arrives. My toes dig happily into the welcome sand beneath me, reveling in the auditory opening.

I don’t want to wait too long to say something, because people aren’t always comfortable with quiet, which can restart an ongoing monologue.

After I express an idea, or sometimes just a phrase, I feel my body ascending back into space. Wait, did I not make it clear that I wasn’t done? How am I dangling above the ground again?

BY DANIEL DUNAIEF

You see, one person talks, while the other listens, and then, the listener becomes the speaker and the speaker the listener. Such simple descriptions don’t work in group dialogue.

“No, wait, it was a Wednesday and it wasn’t my dog, it was my cat.”

“No, no, it was a Tuesday, and it was neither my dog nor my cat, but it was my car keys. The point is that I lost something before I found it. That was also the day I got a new job”

It’s the Mad Libs version of listening to the same story, or a variation of that story, while throwing in the appropriate, or sufficiently irreverent, adjective.

I raise my eyebrows periodically in response to the tone of the person’s voice, going through

Suspended in mid-air, I suppose I could consider those moments as the equivalent of listening to a bird singing a repetitive tune echoing among the eaves.

Perhaps in the future, we can create a verbal shorthand when we feel we’ve lost conversational balance. Maybe, we can just say “teeter-totter” when we need to speak.

As I drive along the local roads, the sight of the bright yellow forsythia, the symphony of pink cherry blossoms, dogwood and magnolia and the yellow daffodils waving” hello” uplift my spirits and bring me joy. Yes, it’s spring, glorious spring! And the weather could not be more cooperative. We have been able to shed our heavy jackets, sweaters and such, and even give our air conditioners a brief trial run when the temperature hit the high 80s and stayed there for a couple of days.

Between you and me

BY LEAH S. DUNAIEF

Best of all, we know this splendor is early, and the beautiful season, when Nature festoons the earth, is just beginning.

At one and the same time, the news about human activities blackens the world. Every day,

yes every day, we wake up to the news of more mass shootings, more homicides. Because a teenage boy rings the bell of the wrong house on his errand to pick up his younger siblings, he is then shot to death. Because a car full of teenage girls pulls into the wrong driveway, shots are fired at the vehicle as it is trying to back out and one young woman is killed. Because yet another unarmed young man tries to run away from the police at a traffic stop, he deserves to be murdered.

What is happening to our country?

These horrors are occurring because people are afraid. Unless he has cognitive issues, why would an 84-year-old man answer his door with a gun? Why would someone inside a house shoot at a car that just entered the driveway unless they were terrified for themselves. This is more than a mental health issue, which might be blamed for shooting up employees in a bank. This is about cold, petrifying fear.

Thank heavens that Nature goes about her business transforming the earth into a paradise

because we humans need something to offset the hell we are creating. People are asked if they are afraid for their children to go to school. To school, which was always the safest place to get children off the streets. Now more than three quarters of the parents say, “Yes.” And so do more than half of the children in elementary school and middle school. Never mind COVID-19 and inflation. They are passing, or will eventually. But the violence that we are living with? That just seems to be getting worse.

What can we do? We know that bad things happen when good people do nothing. But how can we improve our society?

One answer, I believe, is to turn to family and community. Strong family support and a tight-knit community offer security that is close at hand. Parents who let their children feel the love, who set standards and limits, who teach values by example and talk to their children about fears, who are there when most needed — these actions go a long way toward offering meaningful response to a frightening world.

For us adults, meeting the neighbors and creating a Neighborhood Watch for mutual protection is both a safety and social advantage. Participating in one of the many local nonprofits, from Rotary to the civic associations and PTAs in the schools to the historical societies to actually running for office can strengthen a sense of belonging and empowerment.

And then there is kindness. I’m not sure how one goes about teaching kindness except by practicing it. Kindness offsets bullying, it makes both the giver and receiver feel noticed and valued. Who has time to visit a sick neighbor? But then, we all have time to hold the door open for the person behind us, and for that person to thank the door holder, or to let the car waiting to join the line of traffic enter in front of us and in return see a thank-you wave.

And there is always Nature for respite. A walk in the park or along a beach can be restorative. Nature, too, can be violent, but storms pass. With effort and focus, perhaps human storms can, too.

D. None of the above

We are dealing with the best of times and the worst of times

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