The Times of Smithtown - December 1, 2022

PHOTO BY BILL LANDON

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Small Business Saturday offers vital support for local downtowns

BY RITA J. EGAN & RAYMOND JANIS RITA@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM; EDITOR1@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

Residents of communities throughout the area came out on Saturday, Nov. 26, to support local downtowns during Small Business Saturday.

Small Business Saturday was a campaign first developed by American Express in 2010. Martin Cantor, director of the Long Island Center for Socio-Economic Policy, detailed the history and purpose of this effort.

“Because everybody was focusing on Black Friday, American Express wanted to focus on small businesses,” he said.

Mary Joy Pipe, owner of The East End Shirt Company and president of the Greater Port Jefferson Chamber of Commerce, described this year’s iteration of Small Business Saturday as a success. She forecasts a favorable holiday season for the small business community this year based on the turnout.

“Am I optimistic about how I did on Small Business Saturday and over that weekend, and that things should go well?” she said. “Yes.”

The success of these business initiatives, according to Pipe, is primarily contingent upon the weather. She characterized the clear skies on Friday and Saturday as fortunate for the business community.

Tandy Jeckel, owner of TandyWear in Commack, said Small Business Saturday was similar to last year saleswise but that Black Friday was better.

Black Friday “was major,” she said. “We beat last year. Small Business Saturday was pretty much the same as last year.”

Confronting difficult times

While some storefront owners saw favorable returns over the weekend, others discussed the

several factors working against their businesses. Among these are nationwide economic instability and inflation, soaring prices and hardships related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Jeckel said her business did well during the pandemic by making masks to match outfits and so drawing in customers. She added she had noticed customers opting for dressier outfits where people were looking for more comfortable loungewear for a while.

Joe Schwab, co-owner of Schwab’s 2nd Wind in East Setauket, said he didn’t experience an increase in traffic on Small Business Saturday. He said that the special shopping days did not necessarily boost sales, even though Black Friday was better this year than it has been in years past.

“I would love to have a big excitement about shopping days again, but for the time being it seems to be a bit lost or fizzled out,” he said.

Cantor maintains that the broader economic trends are squeezing small businesses and local downtowns. Ballooning costs associated with energy prices, rents and wages are making it harder for small businesses to stay profitable. At the same time, consumers have less discretionary income and, therefore, less to spend in these downtown settings.

“Right now, small businesses are caught between trying to recoup the high rents, energy costs and things like that,” he said. “And then they’re running into the competition and the fact that consumers don’t have the money to spend.”

Competing with big businesses

Inflation and other economic pressures are driving consumers to try to stretch their dollars, Cantor said. This is adding even greater strain on small businesses compared to big businesses.

“The reality is that these big businesses can buy goods and services at much cheaper prices, and consumers are certainly looking for bargains,” he said.

Despite this popular narrative, Patty Kaczmarczyk, owner of Cheese & Spice Market in Wading River, insists that her prices are competitive and often outperform her larger competitors.

“People sometimes feel, ‘I’m going to go to the supermarket where I can get things cheaper there,’ but now that’s not so true,” she said. “I’m a small business, so I’m trying not to kill people in pricing to stay very competitive. That’s my goal.”

Contrasting the business models of large and small businesses, Kaczmarczyk said smaller

For TandyWear in Commack, business was good on Saturday but even better on Black Friday, according to owner Tandy Jeckel. Photo from TandyWear SMALL

Mt. Pleasant Elementary School

Thanksgiving treat

Lori Williams’ kindergarten class at Mt. Pleasant Elementary School enjoyed a tradition from many years ago before the Thanksgiving break.

The students learned how to make butter the way Pilgrims did during their Thanksgiving

celebration. Students all got to shake and shake and shake heavy cream until it finally turned into delicious butter.

After the butter chilled, they all got to taste what they made and loved it.

— Photos from Smithtown Central School District

Small Business

Continued from A3

stores are better adapted to meet the needs of consumers. Whereas large retailers emphasize bulk purchases, she said small vendors allow for smaller, often cheaper orders.

“I carry so many loose spices, which are way cheaper than buying them in a grocery store,” she said. “I sell it loose, and you can buy smaller amounts.” Maximizing these advantages, she suggests, can keep small businesses afloat while competing against their larger counterparts.

Susannah Meinersman, owner of Huntington-based Bon Bons Chocolatier, said the store has been busy in general, which she attributes to making a great product. Meinersman said she appreciates Small Business Saturday: “I think the day brings awareness to the small Main Street business, so that’s a good thing.”

Giving back to the community

David Wolmetz is co-owner of Urban Air Adventure Park in Lake Grove. He described the small business sector as an extension of the greater community. Through various interactions of small businesses with community members, he said these businesses foster a greater sense of local cohesion.

“It’s not only about money for us,” he said. “It’s about connecting to the community.”

For example, Wolmetz sits on the board of the Stony Brook Cancer Center Community Advisory Council. Maintaining connections between small businesses and other local institutions is crucial, Wolmetz said, for community prosperity.

“We look for them: Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, anything that’s related to our demographic of a youth, family oriented connection,” he said. “I’m very familiar with that connection, and that’s my reason for having the business.”

This connection will be imperative as businesses transition into the post-pandemic

era. For Suzanne McEnroe, owner of This n’ That Gifts in St. James, the turnout on Saturday was encouraging.

She said she appreciates resident support as the business owner opened the gift store in February 2020, just a few weeks before the COVID-19 shutdowns. She is grateful to be open.

In general, she noticed a difference in business this year with more people out shopping. “They love to have a town shop to be able to just come and get a quick gift,” she said.

A critical juncture

While Small Business Saturday primarily targets the retail and service sectors, Long Island’s regional economy consists of small businesses across many other industries.

John Hill is the founder and CEO of the Long Island Advancement of Small Business, an organization committed to the growth and development of small businesses that do not interface with customers, such as financial planners, bankers and IT service providers, among others.

Hill contends that these small businesses are struggling, too. “They’re not growing, they’re not failing, they’re just eking out a living right now,” he said.

Given the high living costs on Long Island, Hill sees more small business owners closing up shop and heading to more affordable regions in the country, a startling trend for Long Island’s regional economy.

“We’ve had four people leave our organization to move off of Long Island,” he said. “Two moved to Florida, one to North Carolina and one to Tennessee.”

To stay afloat, Cantor suggests business owners will soon have to find creative ways to attract consumers to downtown areas while eliminating operating expenses.

“Businesses are at a critical juncture,” he said, noting that Small Business Saturday is “super.” He added, “We want all these small businesses to survive, and it’s great that Long Islanders are coming out to the downtowns to shop on Small Business Saturday. But they have to continue to do it.”

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Wanted for Commack Petit Larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Fourth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the woman who allegedly stole approximately $280 worth of clothing and additional items from Target, located at 98 Veterans Memorial Highway in Commack on Nov. 15 at approximately 10 a.m.

Be vigilant during the holidays

The Suffolk County Police department urges consumers to be alert while shopping, never leave purses/wallets unattended in a cart, shop with a friend, and keep valuables out of sight in your vehicle and lock your car doors.

Commack man suffers medical emergency, drives off dock

Suffolk County Police Homicide Squad detectives are investigating an incident during which a man died after driving his vehicle into the water in Bay Shore on Nov. 22. Robert Lancaster was operating a Nissan Rogue at the Maple Avenue dock when he suffered an apparent medical emergency and drove into the water at approximately 6:50 a.m. Lancaster, 39, of Commack, was pulled from the water and pronounced dead at the scene.

CAUGHT ON CAMERA:

Wanted for Commack Petit Larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Fourth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the woman who allegedly stole approximately $320 worth of merchandise from Target, located at 98 Veterans Memorial Highway in Commack, on Nov. 12.

Detectives are asking anyone with information on this incident to call the Homicide Squad at 631-852-6392.

Tires and rims stolen from King O’Rourke Cadillac in Smithtown

Just released! Suffolk County Crime Stoppers is seeking the public’s help in finding the three men who police said stole tires and rims in Smithtown in September. Three men allegedly stole eight sets of tires and rims from two 2022 Cadillacs at King O’Rourke Cadillac, at 756 Smithtown Bypass in Smithtown, between 12:30 and 1 a.m. on Sept. 5, police said. The property was valued at approximately $9,600, police said. The trio is wanted for grand larceny.

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS.

The following incidents have been reported by Suffolk County Police:

Do you recognize this woman? Photo from SCPD

Do you recognize this woman? Photo from SCPD

Daughter inspires local singer to live her dreams

BY RITA J. EGAN RITA@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

For one North Shore singer, an injury and her 13-year-old daughter have led her on a path she has dreamed about for years.

Growing up in Montreal, Canada, Robbie Harte wanted to become a singer-songwriter. However, her goal was put on hold when an accident 14 years ago caused a back and spine injury that left her in chronic pain and unable to sing.

“It affected every part of me,” Harte said.

She added the best way to describe the issue to people is to imagine throbbing tooth pain from the waist to the toes all day, where sitting, standing or lying down doesn’t relieve the pain. It was so overwhelming that it was difficult for her to take in the breaths she needed to hold notes.

The Canadian was already living in Suffolk County when the accident occurred. She had met her husband during a trip to Hawaii. She worked for an airline and planned to go to Paris to write. Last minute Harte said she felt she shouldn’t go to France and opted to go to Hawaii, a place she was familiar with from visiting a couple of times. One morning while sitting in a coffee shop, she saw him run by, and then he was inside the shop a little while later. He stopped by her table to talk to her while she was writing about a couple meeting

In her song “Out of the Blue,” she recounts the meeting saying she “traded Paris in for paradise.”

They began a long-distance relationship, with the two traveling between Canada and Smithtown, where he lived at the time. Shortly after she moved to Suffolk County, they married. Soon after she became pregnant with her daughter, she was injured.

“It was such a happy time for us, then I was sidelined,” Harte said. “It wasn’t just that I was sidelined — I was sidelined and silenced.”

She added that she navigated sad times in the past by expressing herself through music. Harte said at first, she accepted this was the way it was, but she started realizing she wasn’t herself.

After her daughter was diagnosed with autism when she was 7, Harte wanted to show her child that a medical diagnosis shouldn’t stop her from pursuing her dreams.

“She’s the driving force that I’m on this journey,” the singer said. “She is the reason I’m pursuing my dream. She’s the reason that I’m doing all of this.”

Harte remembered the day she and her husband told their daughter about the autism diagnosis. She said they explained that sometimes things may be more challenging for her than others, but she shouldn’t let it get in the way of living her dreams. Harte said that conversation catapulted her to start pursuing her own goals.

“Here I was sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball, not living my dream because I couldn’t do it anymore, and things were really hard for me,” she said. “I said, ‘You know, I can’t tell her that and not put action behind my words. I have to show her by example, by being the best possible role model I can.’ That was the moment that I really decided this is my dream.”

Harte decided to put everything into singing despite how difficult or uncomfortable it was at first. The singer, who taught herself to play guitar, released her first EP in 2020 and has been enjoying musical success with her country/pop songs ever since. She has won and been nominated for several awards. Recently, she won the Gold Songwriter of the Year award and Bronze Single of the Year award for “Outside My Window” from the International SingerSongwriters Association.

A few weeks ago, Harte released the single “Reason to Rise.” She described the song as an “anthemic power ballad.” The single has received airplay all over the globe and has landed on Canadian, country and indie music charts.

The journey has taught Harte a lot about herself and her strengths, she said. Initially, she was afraid she would never be able to get on a stage because she uses a cane regularly. However, she decided she would hold on to whatever else she needed, whether it was a curtain or microphone stand.

“You can’t let any of these things stop you

because they’re just details,” Harte said. The wife and mother also had advice when it comes to balancing various responsibilities and demands that parents face when juggling their own and their children’s obligations. She said the key is not to let everything overwhelm a parent, and she feels it’s important to make time for oneself. Harte said it’s vital to have a release such as singing, a hobby or playing a sport.

“If you don’t have that, you can’t give to other people,” she said. “You need to be in a positive mindset, and you need to have a

few minutes — even if it’s 15 minutes — to do something that you love, so that you’re grounded, so that you can give your best to the people around you.”

Harte said she hopes to use her platform “to uplift, inspire and empower people” and to encourage them to let nothing stop them from doing what they love.

“I want to remind people to go out there and pursue their dreams and do what they love, despite their age, their ability or their limitations.”

For more information, visit robbieharte.com.

Singer-songwriter Robbie Harte, above, won two awards at the 2022 International Singer-Songwriters Association awards ceremony. Below, Harte said she was inspired to pursue her goals despite chronic pain to show her daughter, below right, that obstacles shouldn’t get in the way of dreams. Photos from Robbie Harte

School Sports News

Smithtown/Hauppauge Swim Team

Swim team honored

The state champion Smithtown/ Hauppauge swim team was honored on Tuesday, Nov. 22, by the Suffolk County Legislature.

The girls won the team state title on Nov. 19 and also had three State Championship first place winners.

200 Medley Relay — Sofia Burns, Madison Dominger and Sarah

School News

Smithtown High Schools

Kindness Kraze

“Kindness Kraze” earned the honors of best business plan on Nov. 18 at the Smithtown Central School District’s 28th annual Business Olympics inside the High School West auditorium.

The winning group of students created the 'Kindness Kraze” game, which is an interactive board game all about caring for yourself and others. Their slogan was “It is Cool to Be Kind.”

Over the last 28 years, business students from both Smithtown high schools have been tasked with creating marketing campaigns, new products, eco-friendly businesses and imagining the 21st century classroom.

This year’s theme was “Smithtown Toys for Tots.”

The students had to design and market a new toy for a child under the age of 12. There were over 200 students who competed from Smithtown High School East and West with over 52 teams representing the schools.

The eight finalists presented their plans “Shark Tank”-style in front of

Lucca and Leah Treglia.

400 Freestyle Relay — Sofia Burns, Madison Dominger, Leah Treglia and MaryGrace Waring.

100 Backstroke — Leah Treglia

This is the first girl’s state championship in Smithtown High School athletics history.

—

judges as well as in front of other students and family members.

“Kindness Kraze” was chosen by a group of judges from the Smithtown Industry Advisory Board, school administration and faculty.

—

from Smithtown Central School District

Photos from Smithtown Central School District

Photos

Bulls nip Warriors in non-league matchup

BY BILL LANDON DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

The Smithtown East Bulls managed to keep the Comsewogue Warriors at bay through 16 minutes of play, protecting a three-point lead going into the locker room in a non-league matchup on Tuesday, Nov. 29.

The Warriors rallied in the second half, tying the game at 33-all at the 4 minute, 53 seconds mark of the third quarter. They then took their first lead of the game to open the final eight minutes of play.

Tied at 50-50 with 34 seconds left in regulation, both teams traded points at the free throw line when Smithtown East senior Ben Haug sank both of his

shots with eight seconds left. The Bulls would edge out Comsewogue, 54-50, for the final score.

Haug led his team in scoring with 27 points, and teammate Dominic Galati banked 15.

Comsewogue’s Chris Beverly led the Warriors with 14, with teammates Austin Nesbitt netting 13, and Hayden Morris Gray notching 12.

The Bulls are back in action Thursday, Dec. 1, with a road game against Hauppauge at 5:45 p.m., and the Warriors host William Floyd at 6:15 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 2.

Pictured clockwise from above, Smithtown East junior James Burton lays up for two; Smithtown East junior Ben Haug drives the baseline; and Smithtown East senior Dominic Galati rebounds.

— Photos by Bill Landon

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Editorial

Talking trash: Rethinking local control over solid waste disposal

Here on Long Island, local governments have been historically responsible for treating and disposing of solid waste. This dynamic is no longer workable.

Managing waste is among the most crucial functions of government. Without these services, untreated garbage would threaten the health and safety of our residents and endanger our local environment.

However, treating solid waste entails ever-increasing costs to dispose of the trash and keep up with the fast-paced regulatory climate. Those costs will only compound in the years to come.

In Port Jefferson, the village government is engaged in a messy permit dispute with the New York Department of Environmental Conservation over a small landfill it uses for branch and leaf pickup services. New DEC regulations targeting landfills have impacted Port Jeff’s kettle hole, entangling this small village in a much broader regulatory conflict.

The controversy may be affecting Port Jeff right now, but it will soon involve nearly every community on Long Island. Plans are underway to close the Brookhaven Town Landfill by 2024, which serves the entire region, precipitating a garbage crisis here on Long Island.

From these examples we are learning that solid waste treatment is not merely a local policy concern. It is integrated within a much larger context, affecting neighboring communities, regions and states.

Solid waste landfills, where much of our garbage is stored, are also significant emitters of greenhouse gases. These facilities may soon be prime targets for oversight and regulation under plans to curb the effects of climate change.

At TBR News Media, we are committed to the premise that local government is closest and, therefore, most accountable to the people. Local control gives residents a stake in what goes on within their community’s boundaries. But garbage is blind to these political distinctions and its hazardous effects often cross over these lines, impacting our neighbors. The problem is too grand for any one municipality to handle on its own.

Effective waste management is an increasingly regional, national and even global phenomenon. The situation calls for a coordinated and efficient response from these higher tiers of government.

Sustaining local control over waste management will soon come with a crippling price tag for municipalities and taxpayers alike. State and federal regulators will place heavy restrictions on the operators of solid waste landfills — local governments — passing the burden of cost and regulatory compliance onto these smaller governments.

Over time, municipalities will have to devote more resources and staff to their garbage, eating away at their budgets and diverting vital funds from other local programs and constituent services. All of this runs counter to the original idea of local autonomy.

Now is the right time for local governments to evaluate their involvement in waste management. Municipalities should seriously consider transitioning these duties to higher levels of government — such as counties or the state — with oversight from regional planning councils composed of delegates from our communities.

A consolidated waste management apparatus could be more efficient and less restrictive for small governments, freeing up money and attention for local matters within their control.

At the individual level, we must also take steps to limit our impact on landfills. On Long Island, we don’t even have reliable measures of recycling rates, let alone a plan to bring those levels up. Furthermore, many ordinary household items have the potential for reuse. Residents should take advantage of special recycling events that assign these items a reuse value.

While policymakers work out the nuances of an integrated waste management hierarchy, we can do our part to limit our contribution to solid waste landfills. These complex problems may find meaningful solutions if governments and citizens act responsibly.

Letters to the editor

Perspective on a perspective

My perspective regarding the Perspective by a “progressive” which appeared in the Nov. 17 issue of The Times of Smithtown [“Reflecting on the midterm elections” by Shoshana Hershkowitz] is diametrically opposite of what was stated, with the exception of the writer’s statement regarding state Assemblyman Steve Englebright [D-Setauket].

I, too, was shocked to learn that he will no longer represent our district. I’ve always considered Steve to be a friend, and I’ve known him since before he was a politician — and that’s a long time). His dedicated service to the public at large in our district, and all of the organizations within it, has been remarkable, and he will be sorely missed. With that being said, I strongly disagree with the lumping of our local representatives with the insanely radical woke leftists of the national Democratic Party. The actions and integrity of the two groups should indicate that they are two different parties, not one and the same.

The aforementioned writer’s perspective regarding “fear, dishonesty and racism” prevailing is way off base. Does she gather her points of view from the “lamestream” media? And her habitually abhorrent diatribes against Congressman Lee Zeldin (R-NY1) are without substance. She mentions that his position on “gun safety would be harmful to this state.” Really? Gun safety? It was taught in some schools in the 1950s, when we didn’t have today’s rampant criminal activity due to Gov. Kathy Hochul’s [D] revolvingdoor policy of releasing violent criminals to inflict more crimes. While the writer is “relieved” that Hochul defeated Zeldin, it seems the writer has no recollection during their debate of Zeldin’s question regarding crime, to which Hochul responded, “Why is that an issue?”

With regard to “Zeldin’s position” on “reproductive rights,” what does the writer mean when stating, “Women are vulnerable, with their reproductive rights under attack”? In New York state a human life can still be murdered in the womb. And, to some politicians like Hochul, it’s also OK to release repeat criminals who may murder innocent victims.

And, oh yes, the writer mentions “free and fair elections.” I would need more than a full page to remark on that comment. She may refer to many Americans as election deniers. If so, I would refer to her and her ilk as

corruption deniers.

“As a prime Democratic voter,” she goes on to say what she wants. Ay, there’s the rub — in the words of Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.” How could she possibly get what she wants “as a prime Democratic voter?” The rapidly failing and deteriorating cities in America have been under Democratic control for generations.

What the writer fails to realize is that today’s “Socialist”(former Democratic) Party is not the same as her greatgrandfather’s Democratic Party. She wants, in her Perspective piece, “to fight the good fight” for her “children’s generation, who deserve to inherit a better world.” I don’t foresee, however, that repeating the same mistakes will make this “a better world.” So, I will continue to fight the good fight of taking a commonsense approach to a “better world” for her children and grandchildren — and mine. Art Billadello East Setauket

Falsehoods need to be corrected

A letter by Richard Esopa, “New York’s destructive elected leadership,” appeared recently in this newspaper [Nov. 24] containing quite a number of serious falsehoods which need to be corrected. These include: New York has the highest crime rate by state. False. The five states with the highest crime rates in the United States (2022) are: District of Columbia, New Mexico, Louisiana, Colorado and South Carolina. New York has the 42nd highest crime rate, between Michigan and West Virginia (source: World Population Review).

New York has the highest murder rate by state (related to first claim). False. The five states with the highest murder rate (2022) are: Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri and Arkansas. New York state has the 34th highest murder rate (source: World Population Review).

New York City has the highest violent crime rate of any major city. False. The five major U.S. cities that have the highest violent crime rates are: Memphis, Detroit, Cleveland, Kansas City and Milwaukee (source: www.populationu.com based on FBI statistics). New York City is not on the list of most dangerous cities.

Criminals are being released with no bail. False. Unless we want to throw out the Sixth Amendment to the Constitution, as well as centuries

of established common law, simply being arrested does not make one a “criminal.”

Prosecutors and district attorneys are refusing to charge criminals. False. Prosecutors always have to make choices about how to allocate finite resources and about which crimes are most damaging to society at large and thus should be allocated a greater share of these resources.

Gun laws affect only law-abiding citizens. False. Many guns used in homicides were purchased legally by “law-abiding citizens.” This includes Adam Lanza’s mom (Sandy Hook) and Ethan Crumbley’s parents (Michigan), the Uvalde, Texas, and Buffalo mass shooters, as well as Gregory and Travis McMichael (Georgia) who no doubt seemed to be very “law abiding.” So, too, was Stephen Paddock, who shot and killed 60 people and wounded at least 413 in Las Vegas. Those who shoot and kill people may be “lawabiding citizens” until they’re not.

We have quite enough of this kind of misinformation circulating through social media and openly partisan broadcasts and newspapers without propagating it further.

And here’s an opinion: New York state no more needs to be “saved” by U.S. Rep. Lee Zeldin [R-NY1] than the United States needs to be saved by former President Donald Trump [R]. David

Friedman St. James

County comptroller thanks electorate

I write to thank all the voters who came out this 2022 election cycle and exercised the most important duty of our American democracy, the casting of votes. I am humbled and honored to be returned to the office of comptroller for a third term. The confidence that the electorate has placed in my ability to serve as Suffolk County’s chief fiscal officer is reassuring as we pursue a course of continued improved financial efficacy, as well as continuing to aggressively perform audits to stamp out fraud, waste and abuse.

As always, my office stands ready to assist. Please call at 631-853-5040, and do not hesitate to report concerns to the comptroller’s fraud hotline at 631-853-5018, or email fraudhotline@ suffolkcountyny.gov.

John M. Kennedy Jr. Suffolk County Comptroller

The opinions of columnists and letter writers are their own. They do not speak for the newspaper.

Dropping unwanted baggage makes it easier to move ahead

As we reach the beginning of December, we are only a month away from the inevitable promises to shed unwanted pounds.

Today, however, only a few days after our journeys to visit friends and families for Thanksgiving, I’d like to urge you to consider shedding unwanted baggage.

answer on which we received no credit.

Some of that baggage is constructive, giving us the tools and the memory to learn from our mistakes and to have a perspective on the things that happen to us.

mindlessly eat and a dedication to exercise.

But how do we get rid of the emotional baggage that gets in our way? What do we do to move forward when the burdens around us weigh us down?

Believing the best about ourselves is difficult.

We might, for example, learn to cope with losses on the athletic field more gracefully when recalling how we felt the time we shouted at a coach, an umpire or an opposing player. Days, weeks, or years later, we might realize that we have the tools and the distance to understand the moment better and to develop a grace we might not have possessed when we were younger.

For starters, we might learn to forgive people for whatever they did that annoys or puts us down. Forgiveness isn’t easy, of course. We sometimes hold onto those slights as if they are a part of our identity, becoming a doctor to show our biology teacher who didn’t believe in us that we are capable and competent or developing into a trained athlete after a neighbor insulted us.

We also don’t, and won’t, always win. It’s easier to carry the memories of the times we failed a test or when we didn’t reach the top of the mountain on a hike. Carrying those setbacks around with us for anything other than motivation to try again or to go further than we did before makes it harder to succeed.

D. None of the above

BY DANIEL DUNAIEF

Metaphorically, we all lug unwanted baggage with us — remembering the spot where a girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with us; the moment we decided to substitute the wrong player in a game we were coaching; and the time our teacher gave someone else partial credit for the same

Extending the baggage metaphor, it seems that the more we carry with us everywhere, the harder it is to move forward. Baggage, like those unwanted pounds that make it harder to hike up a hill or to climb stairs, keeps us in place, preventing us from improving and moving forward.

Shedding pounds, which isn’t so easy itself, has a prescribed collection of patterns, often involving an attention to the foods we might

Tormented by letters and numbers

Holding onto those insults gives other people unnecessary power over us. We can and should set and achieve our goals because of what we want and not because we continue to overcome limits other people tried to set for us.

We also might feel weighed down by our own self-doubt. As I’ve told my children, their peers and many of their teammates, we shouldn’t help our competitors beat us.

Now is the time to set down that baggage, to walk, jog or even run forward, unencumbered by everything that might make us doubt ourselves and our abilities and that might make it harder to achieve our goals. While all that baggage might feel familiar in our hands, it also digs into our palms, twists our fingers and slows our feet.

Even before we resolve to eat better, to exercise, to lose weight and to look our best, let’s check or even cast aside our emotional and psychological luggage. Maybe dropping that baggage in the last month of the year will make achieving and keeping our New Year’s resolutions that much easier.

LEAH S. DUNAIEF

Here are three of my most feared words: what’s your password? I understand that passwords were designed to keep out the unwelcome in any digital circumstance. Early passwords worked for ATM machines. After all, we didn’t want anyone else to be able to get our money, right? OK, so that was four numbers that we could remember, certainly easier than committing our social security number to memory, for example. Not any longer do we enjoy such brevity. Now we are asked to use eight or 10 numbers and letters, the combinations of which must contain capitals, lower case, numbers and some other vital symbol, like an asterisk or a dollar sign or an

exclamation point. And we are admonished not to use the same password twice for fear of opening the gates to financial ruination. I would bet the fact is, though, that the only person kept at bay by the request for the password is the password holder who has forgotten the sacred assemblage of letters, numbers and pound signs.

Further, needing the password makes no sense since the frequently asked question, “Forgot your password? Press here to make another,” often allows anyone to bypass the gate anyway. All the intruder has to do is come up with a new password, and they are in.

Some passwords are useful. Certainly, we don’t want just anyone to access our banking records if we bank online. And if we pay for a service, like a subscription to a newspaper, we don’t want an undesignated person to share it. But some of the pass requirements are just plain stupid. Who else but me cares how many steps I walk per day? Or how much sleep I averaged over the past week?? Or how much I weigh? Almost as soon as I apply for an app, I have to select a password to use it,

even though the app is free.

Passwords are just one irritant of the digital age, however. As long as I am voicing my frustrations, let’s consider telephones and what has become of what was a perfectly helpful way to enter in conversation with another human. Just try to call an airline or an insurance company and see how long you are put on hold. Sometimes they will tell you that the operator will be with you in 28 minutes and ask if you would like them to hold your place in line and call you back. That’s civilized. Or the automated voice will try to shove you off to their website. But you cannot ask questions of a home page beyond the couple of programmed Q&As posted there.

When you finally get a person on the other end, after pressing any number of buttons, they will ask you to hold for the correct extension, which will ring and ring and finally disconnect you. Then you have to start all over.

I recognize that there is an attempt to have a paperless world. I understand that

companies are feeling pressured financially and are trying to cut down on personnel. But does the world have to get there by driving us to distraction first? Some technology is actually helpful. Instead of a password, some apps ask for fingerprint ID. Once you register with your thumb or whichever finger you choose, you need only to present that finger in the future, and you are immediately admitted. Why isn’t that more commonly used to authenticate the user? Or ask a personal question as the price of admission only the user would be able to answer, like the name of your junior high school or your first pet’s name. Sometimes I am asked two or three questions like that, but only after I have already offered my password. And usually it’s my mother’s maiden name, which by itself used to work but no longer. Not complicated enough, I guess.

One friend figured she had solved the password problem by putting all her passwords into one file on her cellphone. Only trouble? She has forgotten the file’s password.