Down the Rabbit Hole
Graphic: M. Swope
Facing my worst fears and turning on my morals, all for one app by: MALLORY SWOPE staff writer When I first heard of TikTok, I thought it was pointless. laughter. No longer would I hide from the monster on I told myself I would never stoop so low as to downmy phone. load an app and do nothing more than watch strangThe next few weeks of using the app were seamers lip-sync. I would never become addicted to such less. Just because I downloaded the app didn’t neca ridiculous app. I would never let an app get in the essarily mean I’d become addicted, did it? In a way, way of my social life. I would reward myself for finishing my homework with Then it happened. I was texting a friend who had no more than five TikToks. I made the standards strict returned to college for the fall semester, and we were though; my homework HAD to be done before logcomplaining about the difficulty of chemistry and ging onto the app, no exceptions. As time progressed, life in general. We were in the middle of a conversahowever, I let myself go and allowed myself to log on tion when she started laughing uncontrollably, and I for any given reason at any given time no matter the couldn’t figure out why. When I asked her what was so inconvenience it caused. TikTok showed me its fatally funny, she couldn’t even put words together between venomous colors. her cackles. So instead of telling me, she sent me a Now, months later, I go home with full intentions video—I’m sorry, a TikTok—and said I absolutely had of starting my homework and getting it all done at to watch it because we were literally just a reasonable hour only to find that TikTok “No longer would has different plans for me. It starts with me talking about this. I informed her in my response that no matter what, I was NOT I hide from the telling myself that everything can wait for going to watch it. I was not going to belater. I proceed with my plan of finishing my come one of the people who struggled monster on my homework promptly for an average of 30 to peel myself away from my phone be- phone.” minutes. Then I give myself a “reward.” I alcause of some stupid video. I remained low myself to log on and say it’s completely strong for the first few hours, ignoring the justified because I’ve worked so hard, and text that held the fate of my future. Then the struggle I deserve to watch a few TikToks. Except, it becomes began. The screen of my phone illuminated, the more and more difficult to stick to the limit I set. Bemessage notification displaying yet another link for a fore I know it, five TikToks becomes ten, ten becomes TikTok. It stared at me with bitter, violent eyes. The link 15, and 15 becomes 20 or even 30. The addiction is dangled the carrot right in front of my face. I wanted real. Although, when I consider what my “addiction” to watch the videos more and more. I succumbed to is, I don’t really associate it with TikToks themselves. TikTok. Rather, the addiction comes from the entertainment I unlocked my phone to open the messages and joy I get when watching TikToks. That makes it all and scrolled up until I met the chemistry TikTok faceokay, right? to-face. I opened the link and pressed play. It was Perhaps my resolution for the new decade will all downhill from there. I watched as a teenage girl have to be focused on reducing my use of TikTok. complained about sig figs, valence electrons, and Maybe then I’ll be able to go out in public with friends exceptions on the periodic table. I laughed at myself without resorting to the entertainment radiated from for thinking I was powerful enough to protect myself TikTok. Maybe then we’ll be able to have a conversafrom such a hungry beast. The second TikTok was tion about our own lives rather than TikTok-er’s lives. completely unrelated to my chemistry struggles, yet That’s just a thought though. Until then, I’ll most likely I laughed just as hard at this one as I did the previbe found either laughing to myself over the latest viral ous one. Upon realizing how much joy I could endure TikTok or sharing them with friends as I descend deepthrough the simplicity of TikToks, I decided it was time er down the TikTok rabbit hole. // to jump on board with seemingly every other teenager around me and download the official app. No longer would my friends get frustrated with me for refusing to watch their “stupid videos.” No longer would I struggle to find a source of entertainment and 22 // BGQ // March 2020 April 2020
