Active Family Magazine - February 2014

Page 1

FEBRUARY 2014

Unconditional

Love

Designing for a Cause

Date Night around THE BAY

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 1


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FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 3 Each Primrose School is a privately owned and operated franchise. Primrose Schools and The Leader in Educational Child Care are trademarks of Primrose School Franchising Company. ©2014 Primrose School Franchising Company. All rights reserved. Equal Opportunity Care Provider, License #013421388, #013421389


Volume 1 / Issue 1

[ FAMILY ]

[ HEALTH ]

[ FINANCE ]

‘My Daughter Needs to Make a House for Her Fairies… Right Before Bed!’

Top 10 Reasons to Go Organic

Is Your Bank Account as Sexy as You Are?

8

10 Resolutions for a Cavity-Free Year

24

Night, Night: Bedtime Rituals Grow Warm Memories

16

When to Call the Doctor

Unconditional Love is like a Muscle – It needs a Daily Workout

[ EVENTS ]

[ HOME LIFE ] Designing for a Cause

14

36

Date Night Around the Bay

30

February Calendar

18

28

20

[FOOD]

[ STYLE ]

34

Kids and Food Wars

Glamping it Up by PRIM

26

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10

26


FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 5


Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Design/Production

Contributing Authors/Businesses

Tracie Vollgraf

Teresa Craft

Marketing Manager

Ad Design/Production

Crystal Wigton

Lara Mays

Dr. Susan Stiffelman Renée Loux Shelley Ham Special Space SF Bay Area Susan Newman, Ph.D. Dr. Laura Markham Dr. Ozzie Jafarnia PRIM Boutique Salon Vivace Jen Skog Michelle Perry Higgins Meg Meeker, M.D. Palo Alto Medical Foundation Joseph J. Schwartz, M.D.

Advertising Sales Manager Karen Ruskowski

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566 Advertising Inquiries | 925.798.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note A new year, a new publication! Welcome to Active Family Magazine! As we have evolved into a local parenting lifestyle publication we are dedicated to offering our readers relevant content applicable to where we live and play as families. We are very excited to launch our first issue and hope you enjoy it. As always, we would love to hear from our readers to discover what you would like to see each month. Have a parenting question you need addressed? Email us and one of our experts will provide you with advice. It’s February and love is in the air! Planning a hot date with your significant other? Be sure to check out the Date Night Around the Bay ideas on page 28. Dr. Markham’s Unconditional Love is Like a Muscle article reminds us of ways in which we need to be aware of our actions towards others, acting with love instead of frustration and anger. Tuck the little ones in with a new bedtime routine from Night, Night: Bedtime Rituals Grow Warm Memories on page 16. Wishing you a February full of family and love! Tracie Vollgraf Editor tvollgraf@activefamilymag.com 6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014


[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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‘My Daughter Needs to Make a House for Her Fairies... Right Before Bed!’ by Dr. Susan Stiffelman

Susan Stiffelman is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor, an Educational Therapist, Parent Educator and Professional Speaker. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Developmental Psychology, a California K-9 Teaching Credential, a Masters of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology, and a California Marriage and Family Therapist license since 1991. Visit her website www passionateparenting.net and be sure to sign up for her free Parenting Without Power Struggles newsletter!

My 8-year-old daughter is very creative, but sometimes she loses track of time. She will get the idea to make a house out of cardboard and cotton for her fairies just before bed. Or she will want to stay in the shower for an hour and a half (with the water off a lot of the time) making steam drawings on the wall or calling me to see the flowers she made from the gel foam. I don’t want to dampen her spirit, but it is frustrating when she is so caught up in her fantasies that she has trouble coming to the dinner table or getting ready for bed. At a time when so many parents reach out to me because they can’t get their kids to unplug from their electronic devices without a fight, I must say that I found your question wonderfully reassuring. Thank goodness there are still children making fairy houses with cardboard and cotton, rather than virtually on a screen with drag and drop elements! Here are my thoughts: • Celebrate your daughter. While highly creative children can be challenging insofar as they often lose track of time or have trouble with mundane tasks, many of us have forgotten that children are not supposed to be miniature adults -- despite the fact that we often treat them that way. Your daughter is being an 8-year old. Encourage and enjoy her fanciful nature while it is alive and well.

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[ FAMILY ] • Gently help her manage her time. It would be great if your daughter could wander down to the dinner table when she’s good and ready, but I do believe that family dinners are important, and would encourage you to help her start her shower early enough so that she has had her fun and is prepared to join the rest of you when the evening meal is served. • Acknowledge disappointment. While I admire your daughter’s desire to provide shelter for her fairies, there will unfortunately be times when she cannot begin a new project because of the lateness of the hour. Rather than trying to use logic to convince her that she should have thought of the fairy house an hour earlier, simply acknowledge her disappointment. “It sounds like you were hoping you could build it right now, even though it’s bedtime. It’s hard to have such a great idea and know that you have to wait till tomorrow to act on it.” • Provide generous stretches of unstructured playtime. Before the advent of electronic diversions -- video games, iPads, cell phones and “educational” computer games -- children’s imaginations provided hours of entertainment. Those of us before the digital era have countless stories to tell (usually beginning with, “When I was your age...”) about how we transformed a box into a spaceship, or created imaginary towns with flower petals as the villagers. These days, children are so highly overscheduled that they find it easiest to veg out in front of a screen at the end of a full day. Give your daughter plenty of the unstructured time she relishes to invent, create and imagine. • Keep an eye on how she is doing academically. Some highly imaginative children have trouble in school. They may be chronic day dreamers, preferring their rich fantasy life to a boring lesson on multiplication. Make sure your daughter is able to focus in class, and help her use a system for staying organized and on top of her homework assignments. Childhood is so very brief. Many kids are being propelled toward grown up life far sooner than one would hope. I commend you for whatever you have done to help your daughter enjoy these years of joyful play, and urge you to help preserve her sense of wonder and joy at the simple pleasures of life. If you’re lucky, some of her magic may rub off on you!

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[ HEALTH ]

Top 10 Reasons to Go Organic by Renée Loux Regardless of diet, organics are a smart priority. Opting for organics is one of the most powerful choices each of us can make for personal and planetary health.

Renée Loux has been a trendsetter in the environmental and sustainable food movements for more than 17 years. As an author, chef, restaurateur, television personality, eco-consultant, monthly columnist for Women’s Health Magazine, and founder of the Food First Institute in collaboration with the University of Hawaii and the Maui Culinary Academy, she has been a leading expert in the field. She founded one of America’s first raw food restaurants, the Raw Experience, in 1996, was a founding partner of Mala Wailea and has published the Gourmand Award-winning The Balanced Plate, and Living Cuisine, The Whole Green Catalog, and Easy Green Living. Loux has been teaching at the Natural Gourmet Institute in NYC since 1999 and has worked with and along side of some of the best and brightest figures in Hollywood and Culinary Arts. As the host of the TV show It’s Easy Being Green, she has appeared on the Food Network, HG TV and the Cooking Channel as well as a frequent green-expert and organic chef on various TV shows including the Today Show, Good Morning America, Extra, Insider Edition and Fox News. Visit Renée at www.reneeloux.com.

Like it or not, we find ourselves in the midst of a battle for the future of food every time we go to the market. Every dollar we spend on food has ecological and social impact. In one corner, cheap, industrialized, chemical-laden, standardized varieties of food rise to epic proportion. In the other corner grow the safe, strong, responsible roots of sustainable, organic foods. It is a necand-neck fight. Cost and convenience versus quality and diversity. A hard-won match. Free of harmful chemicals, boasting with more nutrition, taste, and sustainable sustenance, buying organically grown food is a direct vote for immediate health and the hopeful future of generations to come. 1. AVOID CHEMICALS Eating organically grown food means you and your family can avoid the cocktail of chemical pesticides and insecticides used to grow and laden in conventional food. Example: The average conventional apple has 20-30 poisons on its skin even after washing. Organically grown food is safe food, free from the dangers of poisons and chemicals, which is especially important for children, who have a lower body weight than adults and developing systems and brains. Children are more at risk for dietary exposure to pesticide residues and pesticide-related health risks, notably

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neurological health risks. Studies by the National Institute of Environmental Sciences have determined that food is the primary source of exposure to pesticides in children, more so than adults, and that an organic diet provides immediate and dramatic protection against pesticide exposure. 2. MORE NUTRIENTS Organically grown foods have more nutrients, vitamins, minerals, enzymes and micronutrients than commercially grown food because the soil is managed and nourished with sustainable practice by responsible standards. The Journal of Alternative and Complimentary Medicine conducted a review of 41 published studies comparing the nutritional value of organically grown and conventionally grown fruits, vegetables, and grains concluded that there are significantly more of several nutrients in organic crops. Further, the study verifies that 5 servings of organically grown vegetables (such as lettuce, spinach, carrots, potatoes and cabbage) provide an adequate allowance of Vitamin C, where the same servings of conventionally grown vegetables do not. ON AVERAGE: 21.1% more Iron 27% more Vitamin C 29.3% more Magnesium 13.6% more Phosphorous 3. TASTES BETTER Try it! Organically grown food generally tastes better because soil that is naturally fortified, nourished, and well-


[ HEALTH ] balanced produces healthy, strong plants and produce. This is especially true with heirloom varieties, which are cultivated for taste over appearance. There is speculation that one reason organic food has more flavor is because organic growing methods do not employ nitrogen fertilizers that cause plants to uptake more water, which results in larger yields by weight, but less concentration of flavor and nutrients. 4. THE ONLY WAY TO AVOID GMO & GENETICALLY ENGINEERED FOOD GE (Genetically Engineered) food and GMO (Genetically Modified Organisms) are contaminating our food supply at an alarming rate with repercussions beyond understanding. GMO foods do not have to be labeled in America. Organically grown food cannot be genetically modified in any way and eating organic food is the only way to avoid foods that have been genetically engineered. A few examples of Genetically Engineered and GMO foods are: – Foods that have chemical pesticides spliced into every cell (so crops can sustain heavier doses of spraying without dying) – Fruits and vegetables that have been crossed with animal genes (such as cold-water fish genes in a tomato to withstand colder climates) – Foods that are engineered with pharmaceutical drugs grown on them (such as birth control and vaccines grown on corn) 5. AVOID HORMONES, ANTIBIOTICS, AND DRUGS IN ANIMAL PRODUCTS Conventional meat and dairy are the highest risk foods for contamination of harmful substances. More than 90 percent of the pesticides Americans consume are found in the fat and tissue of

meat and dairy products . The EPA reports that a majority of pesticide intake comes from meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy products because these foods are all high on the “food chain”. For instance a large fish that eats a smaller fish that eats even smaller fish accumulates all of the toxins of the chain, especially in fatty tissue. Cows, chickens and pigs are fed animal parts, by-product, fish-meal, and grains that are heavily and collectively laden with toxins and chemicals. Low-fat dairy and lean animal products contain a lower concentration of pesticides, as toxins and chemicals are accumulated and concentrated in fatty tissue. Antibiotics, drugs, and growth hormones are directly passed into meat and dairy products. Tens of millions of pounds of antibiotics are used in animal feed every year. The Union of Concerned Scientists estimates that roughly 70 percent of antibiotics produced in the U.S. are fed to animals for nontherapeutic purposes. U.S. Farmers have been giving sex hormones and growth hormones to cattle to artificially increase the amount of milk and meat the cattle produce without requiring extra feed. The hormones fed to cows cannot be broken down, even at high temperatures. Therefore, they remain in complete form and pass directly into the consumer when meat or milk containing hormones is eaten. Hormone supplementation is the biggest concern with beef, diary, and farmed fish. In the United States the jury is still out. However, Europe’s scientific community agrees that there is not acceptably safe level for daily intake of any of the hormones currently used in the U.S. and has subsequently banned all growth hormones. The major

concerns for U.S. consumers include the early onset of puberty, growth tumors, heightened cancer risks, and genetic problems. Growth hormones in milk (rBGH and rBST) are genetically modified and have been directly linked to cancer, especially in women. Many scientists and experts warn that the rampant use of antibiotics in animal feed, like penicillin and tetracycline, will breed an epidemic that medicine has no defense against. Karim Ahmed, PhD, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) states that is “is perhaps one of the most serious public health problems the country faces. We’re talking about rendering many of the most important antibiotics ineffective.” Antibioticresistant strains of viruses such as Avian Flu and Swine Flu (H1N1) may be evidence of this prediction. Choosing organic animal products is unyieldingly important, especially for children, pregnant, and nursing mothers. 6. PRESERVE OUR ECOSYSTEMS Organic farming supports ecosustenance, farming in harmony with nature. Preservation of soil and crop rotation keeps farmland healthy and abstinence from chemicals preserves the ecosystem. The rampant use of pesticides causes damage to the fragile and complex ecosystems of beneficial insects, microorganisms, and wildlife, which in turn results in soil infertility, susceptibility to pests and disease. It is a vicious cycle that can be healed with organic farming methods so that wildlife, insects, frogs, birds, and soil organisms are able to play their role in the tapestry of ecology. 7. REDUCE POLLUTION

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11


[ HEALTH ] AND PROTECT OUR WATER AND SOIL Agricultural chemicals, pesticides, and fertilizers are contaminating our environment, poisoning our precious water supplies, and destroying the value of fertile farmland. Certified organic standards do not permit the use of toxic chemicals in farming and require responsible management of healthy soil and bio-diversity. According to Cornell entomologist David Pimentel, it is estimated that only 0.1 percent of applied pesticide reach the target pests. The bulk of pesticides (99.9 percent) are left to impact the environment. 8. PRESERVE AGRICULTURAL DIVERSITY The rampant loss of species occurring today is a major environmental concern around the globe. It is estimated that 75 percent of the genetic diversity of agricultural crops has been lost in the last century. Monocropping, leaning heavily on one or two varieties of a given food, is a formula for disaster. For instance, consider that only a handful of varieties of potatoes dominate the current marketplace, whereas thousands of varieties once existed. Now, dig back to recent history’s potato famine in Ireland, where a blight knocked out the whole crop, which consisted of just a few varieties, and millions of people died of starvation. Today, most industrial farms also grow just one crop rather than an array of crops on one piece of land. Ignorance is bliss? Or, amnesia is disastrous? Crop rotation is a simple and effective technique used in organic agriculture to reduce the need for pesticide and improve soil fertility naturally. Most conventional food is also extremely hybridized to produce

large, attractive specimens, rather than a mix of indigenous varietals, which are tolerant to regional conditions such as droughts and pests. Many organic farms grow an assorted range of food taking natural elements and time-tested tradition into account. Diversity is critical to survival. 9. SUPPORT FARMING DIRECTLY Buying organic food is an investment in a cost-effective future. Commercial and conventional farming is heavily subsidized with tax dollars in America. A study at Cornell University investigated the cost of a head of commercial iceberg lettuce, typically purchased at ¢49 a head, to be more than $3.00 a head, when hidden costs were revealed (at the taxpayers expense). The study factored in the hidden cost of: federal subsidies, pesticide regulation and testing, and hazardous waste and clean up. American tax dollars subsidize an $8 billion farm bill every year. Peeling back another layer that is relatively impossible to take inventory of cannot account for the price tag of other detrimental, associated costs like health problems, environmental damage and the loss and extinction of wildlife and ecology. 10. KEEP OUR CHILDREN AND FUTURE SAFE Putting money where our mouths are is a powerful position to take in the $1 trillion dollar food industry market in America. Spending dollars in the organic sector is a direct vote for a sustainable future for the many generations to come. DEBUNKING ORGANIC MYTHS MYTH: Conventional Farming is more

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productive than organic farming REALITY: Pesticides are not working The National Academy of Sciences released the results of a 5-year study on farming methods in a report called “Alternative Agriculture” concluding that the use of chemical pesticides does not make farmland more productive. The study reported that crops treated with little to no chemicals were just as productive, and often more productive, than those dosed with chemical pesticides. Further conclusion concurred that natural, sustainable methods of pest control were just as effective, if not more effective as chemical control. The Academy stated that chemical agriculture is clearly a failing system of production. Strong recommendations have been made to federal and private farm programs to apply natural, sustainable farming techniques in favor of chemical farming. REALITY: Organic methods are as, if not more, efficient, economical, and financially competitive as conventional methods. According to a report that documents 15 years of research by Rodale Institute’s long-term Farming Systems Trial, organic farming proves to be economically sound, ergonomic, and better for the soil and environment. The experiment compared highly productive, intensive corn and soybean crops using both conventional and organic management. The study proved that after a transitional period of about 4 years, crops grown using organic methods yielded as well as, and often better than, those grown conventionally.


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[ HOME LIFE ]

Designing

for a Cause Special Spaces provides dream room makeovers for children with life-threatening medical conditions. After a life-altering diagnosis, a child’s existence and that of their family changes in an instant. Oftentimes, because of their treatments and suppressed immune systems, they are no longer able to attend school or play with their friends. Serious illness can be incredibly isolating for the children and families impacted. Children spend most of their time in a hospital room or at home. Special Spaces creates a safe haven for healing‌

Project: Taylon, a 12-year-old girl who needs hope and a reason to keep fighting her illness, osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer

Interior Designer | Shelley Ham Company | Special Spaces San Francisco Bay Area Specialty | Bedrooms and spaces for children with life-threatening medical illnesses Website | www.specialspacessanfrancisco.org 14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014


[ HOME LIFE ]

Special Spaces of San Francisco Challenge: Small space shared with two different personalities and tastes to keep in mind! Found common ground and similarities in things they like (that don’t usually blend together) = Hello Kitty and Beyonce

Small Space Solution: Proper space planning is essential. Always take measurements of the room and furniture first so you can lay out your room to see what you are working with. You can use cut outs with a scale of 1” = 1 foot or use a free online program like sketch-up. Placing beds on either side of the room gave each girl privacy. Privacy for the bed that is exposed to the hallway door was created by placing a chest alongside of it. Next, desks at the foot of each bed for additional privacy while studying. Finally, an entertainment center at the end of the room where they can sit on the floor or use their desk chairs to sit and play their games separately with head phones. Don’t forget to organize the closet to maximize space.

Personalities & Blending Solution: Don’t limit yourself with color or pattern. Shelly found very colorful artwork of Beyonce and then had posters made that used the same colors in the Hello Kitty and Beyonce pieces to tie things together. Using these as the focal points in the room for each of the beds and as inspiration for color in the room. Shelly took the colors and used them in the room, some things bling for Taylon and some things a bit more conservative for Mikalah. Lastly, I tied it all together with a large Beyonce custom painted canvas that draws you into the room and is interesting – the room’s focal wall! In this kind of room, function is the master and color is the theme. Blend patterns for interest and ground everything is a warm gray and white to open up the space.

Outcome:

Shelly’s inspiration:

They both loved their space and couldn’t believe the room was theirs. Function is always as important as aesthetics. If it doesn’t work for the person living in the space, it doesn’t matter how pretty it is. Both the girls love their room. It’s now a space of hope, joy and healing inspired by things they love. Remember how good it feels to get new pillows for your couch, well imagine a whole room with everything you love!

These children are little warriors who fight a good fight and just want to be normal kids. They deserve to be surrounded by everything they love! As one of our children said, “My room is a reflection of me and why I matter in this world! I love my room!” That’s plenty of inspiration for me!

Lighting Solution: Never forget about the importance of lighting both from function and design perspectives. The solution, as with everything else in this room, dual purpose lighting. Ambient in a triangle of light – desk, chest, desk, and task lighting where needed at their bedsides and entertainment center.

To donate funds, time or design services, contact Special Spaces at www.specialspacessanfrancisco.org

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15


Night, Night: Bedtime Rituals Grow Warm Memories by Susan Newman Ph.D. Most of us feel as if the entire day flies by without a moment to catch our breaths. Although parents usually follow a bedtime ritual with their young children, it, too, is often cut short or rushed. But reserving that time and making it sacred reaps both immediate and long-term rewards for you and your child. The rituals below allow you to learn what your child is thinking and build a bond and intimacy difficult to develop during the hectic day. If your child doesn’t catch on at first, be patient. Try again the next night and soon one or two of these will become a cozy, welcomed routine: Remember when… Tell stories of funny things your child did when she was a baby, too young to remember. Children delight in being the central focus of stories and what is unique to one child separates him from his siblings and helps to define him as his own person. Children love repetition so it’s unlikely you’ll be at a loss for ideas.

Social psychologist, Susan Newman, Ph.D., specializes in issues impacting parenting and family life. She blogs for Psychology Today Magazine about parenting and her 15 books guide parents and help improve family relationships. Among them: The Case for the Only Child: Your Essential Guide; Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day; Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up and (Re)learning to Live Together Happily. Dr. Newman has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, CNN as well as other television and radio shows throughout the country: NBC Nightly News, ABC World News Tonight, FOX News and NPR’s Market Watch, The Takeaway and Talk of the Nation. Her work has been featured in major newspapers in and out of the US including, China, England and Canada. To learn more, visit her at www.susannewmanphd.com

Relate silly or memorable things that happened on family vacations or during family get-togethers. Some undoubtedly will become family lore like the visit we had from a squirrel that ran across the dining room floor during Thanksgiving dinner and the human chase that followed. Years later, the children, now teens and young adults, ask if we’re inviting a guest squirrel to dinner this year. Best and worst part of your day Within this bedtime ritual parents have time to praise the good things a child reports as well as help her with decision-making and problem solving related to bad things she may have encountered—a toy broken by a friend, a lost sweater, or the demise of a goldfish. If you start this ritual when children are young, they are more likely to express their feelings and be willing to ask for your help you when they are older and bedtime rituals are a thing of the past. When I grow up I want to be… A preschooler will want to be a rabbit, a giraffe, or a clown one night, a firefighter or police officer the next. Ask your child what she would do if she were a monkey, for example, and discover her fantasies. With older children you have the chance to explore and explain endless career possibilities. Every night will be an eye-opening peak into your child’s mind. Once upon a time… Make up a story with parent offering the first line and making your child the hero or heroine, always. Be sure to include his friends in the story. Run the story over several nights or begin a new one each night. Magic Carpet With fanfare and a flourish lay a small blanket over the bed then tuck it in just

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[ FAMILY ] so. You can use one of your child’s baby blankets or his favorite small quilt. Say, “We’re on the magic carpet. Where are we going tonight?” If your child doesn’t have any ideas, suggest a visit to Aunt Betty or a trip to Arizona. Talk about what you might see and do wherever you “go” each night. In riding the magic carpet you can present a larger world to a child, talk about the weather, the vegetation, the art, the culture, the activities found in the area your child chooses. If he decides to take a Magic Carpet ride to visit a relative, you have a chance to let him know what is special about that relative and in that way keep distant relatives close. Be Thankful Tell me two or three things you are thankful for today. Parents may want to start: I’m thankful for the extra time your teacher spent with you and for your help clearing the table. Younger children might be thankful for the dog, a visit from Grandma, two turns on the slide, but as children get older their comments will be more sophisticated. “Things to be thankful for” fosters gratitude and appreciation in children.

night, sleep tight” in turn to each special stuffed animal. You then say, “your turn, I love you” and tuck in your child with an extra long hug. Goodnight, Grandma A ritual offers the chance to keep relatives and the important people in your child’s life prominent. Beyond grandma and grandpa, include cousins, aunts and uncles, best friends and favored teachers or instructors. Include those special stuffed animals, too, if your child asks. On successive nights, you can ask your child if she would like to add someone—a baby cousin, a new friend, perhaps? Designer Kiss At the end of the day top off your rituals with a designer kiss. Two pecks on the forehead, one on the nose and one on the head, for example, underscore how special your child is to you. Think of bedtime exchanges as warm deposits in your child’s memory bank. Any one of these rituals starts a tradition your child will undoubtedly pass along to his or her children. AK_AD_3.75x4.81_012214.pdf

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Kelley Has a Little Bear Create a family song to a familiar tune that includes your child’s name or family members near and far to sing at bedtime. Here’s a start to the tune of “Mary had a Little Lamb:” Kelley has a little bear, little bear, little bear, Kelley had a little bear, it’s fur is brown as dirt. She carries Spark to bed each night, to bed each night, to bed each night. Everywhere that Kelley went, Kelley went, Kelley went, Spark was sure to go. She carries him to bed each night, To bed each night, to bed each not, that’s not against the rules. Spark makes Kelley laugh and play, Laugh and play, laugh and play… Animal Tuck-ins Spread a small blanket the end of your child’s bed and let him tuck in Barnekee, Spot and Bandit saying “good

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Unconditional Love is like a Muscle — It needs a Daily Workout by Dr. Laura Markham “Love is not a feeling, love is an action...Love is as love does.” -- M. Scott Peck

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone. You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

Last month, Step 1 of Ten Steps to Unconditional Love (It’s Better for Your Child If You’re Not Perfect) encouraged you to renounce perfection and shoot higher -- for love! If you change nothing else, that will change your life. But why stop there? Why not really give your love muscle a workout? It’s simple, but not easy. Commit to treating yourself and everyone around you with compassion. Every time you notice harshness creeping in, toward yourself, your child, or anyone else, stop and find something to appreciate about that person. No exceptions. If you could choose compassion in every interaction with everyone, including yourself, you’d be enlightened by the end of the month. Sound good? Now let’s go for the gold. It’s easy to be loving when everything goes our way. What about when you’re stressed out, when your desires are thwarted or your needs aren’t met? When you’re in fight or flight and even the people you love look like the enemy? When life crashes into you and knocks you over? In other words, at least once a day, and for some of us, many times a day? Can you take a deep breath and ease from anger to compassion? I know you’re not a saint. I’m not asking you to greet a murderer, or even that woman who was mean to your kid, with love. But what about that guy who just cut you off in traffic? Or the preschooler who shoved your child on the

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[ FAMILY ] playground last week? Or the rude grocery store clerk? Maybe all those folks just had very hard days. Maybe you don’t want to be near them, but can you think of them with compassion, even while you remove yourself from their presence? What about your partner, who might look to you at this moment clueless and lazy and selfish? Maybe your partner is as overwhelmed as you are, but showing it in a different way. What about your child, who is being impossible today? Maybe he’s feeling disconnected from you. (Kids don’t act out when they feel deeply connected, but that connection gets frayed during daily life and has to be constantly renewed.) Maybe he’s actually afraid -- of the mean kid at school, or the monsters in his closet, or losing your love to his sibling, or of never being good enough to stop you from yelling at him. If you can’t imagine shifting from anger to compassion, start with baby steps. 1. Stop and take a deep breath. Just the act of noticing your breathing and increasing the oxygen to your brain gives you a moment of choice. You don’t have to act on whatever’s triggering you. You could just choose love. Really.

permission not to get it all done? Do you need to cut back your expectations and try again tomorrow? Give yourself what you need. Then you won’t need to be angry. 6. If you still need to, express the anger safely. Go shake out your hands, splash water on your face, or put on music and dance. No time to calm down? Do five sit-ups. (At the very least, you’ll have a flat stomach in a few weeks.) This is basic emotional self-regulation, and it’s arguably the most critical emotional intelligence skill. Most of us don’t come by it naturally. But every time you resist acting when you’re triggered, you’re re-wiring your brain. And the more you practice shifting from judgment to compassion as you move through your day, the more you’ll be able to shift into unconditional love when your child acts up. Because love isn’t a feeling. Love is an action, an act of creating love where there wasn’t any. Love is the hard internal work you do to shift from your automatic reaction of anger into a place of compassion. Compassion is the heavy lifting of life. You know it takes daily practice to build that kind of muscle. Why should your heart be an exception? Repeat daily. Watch your life transform.

2. Recognize your anger as a physiological hijacking that is poisoning the situation you’re in. Take another deep breath. 3. See it from the other person’s point of view. That will switch off the blood-wrath of your inner critic. Remind yourself that the other person is having a hard day too. Find something to appreciate about the other person. 4. Ask yourself what’s under your anger. I know, you want to smack that person. But why? Did they make you feel disrespected, for instance? The button that just got pushed is from feeling disrespected in your own childhood. Guess what? This is an opportunity to heal that! :-) Even if that person actually DID disrespect you, you have all the respect you need inside yourself. Find that self-respect inside and give it to yourself. I’m not suggesting you let yourself get walked on. I’m suggesting you take responsibility for your own emotional regulation, and not act when you’re triggered. 5. Take care of yourself. Whatever deep need is triggering your anger, hug yourself and meet that need. Do you need a good cry? Do you need to give yourself FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19


[ EVENTS ]

February Alameda County February 1 Build a Race Car Your Nearest Home Depot FREE Ages: 5 – 12 9:00am – 12:00pm www.workshops.homedepot.com

Kids Club Berkeley Art Museum Free for children under 12 More Kids Club events throughout February 11:00am – 5:00pm www.visitberkeley.com

Annual Lunar New Year’s Performance Fourth Street Shopping Area Berkeley Free Event 12:00pm – 4:00pm

February 1, 8, 15 & 22

February 6, 7, 13 & 14

Family Fun Night City Beach Fremont 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.citybeach.com

Make Your Own Gingerbread House Workshop Habitot Berkeley 12:00pm – 1:00pm www.habitot.org

Crafts & Coffee Sticky Art Lab Berkeley 10:00am – 2:00pm www.stickyartlab.com

February 2 Friends of the Livermore Library Book Sales (Corner of Pacific Ave & S. Livermore Ave) 12:00pm – 4:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

FREE First Sunday Oakland Museum of CA 11:00am

February 7 Preschool Performance Series – The Brian Waite Band! Village Theater Danville Tickets: $3.00 10:00am www.villagetheatreshows.com

February 7, 14, 21 & 28 Friday Nights @ OMCA Oakland Museum of CA 5:00pm www.museumca.org

February 8

Andy Z Studio Grow Berkeley 11:00am

Farmers Market South L St & Railroad Ave Livermore 10:00am – 2:00pm

Valentine’s Day: Parents Day Off James Kenney Recreation Center Berkeley Cost: $15/res; $ 18/non-res 11:00am – 4:00pm

www.studiogrow.com

www.cityoflivermore.net

www.ci.berkeley.ca.us

www.visitberkeley.com

www.museumca.org

February 2, 9, 16 & 23

Gidion’s Knot Aurora Theatre Berkeley More show dates & times throughout February www.visitberkeley.com

February 1 & 2 Lunar Celebration Weekend Fairyland Oakland www.fairyland.org

February 4 & 11 DIY Art Supplies Habitot Berkeley 11:00am – 11:40am www.habitot.org

February 5, 12, 19 & 26 Paws to Read Civic Center Library Livermore 3:30pm – 4:30pm www.cityoflivermore.net

February 6 FREE Admission @ UC Botanical Garden 9:00am – 5:00pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

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Second Saturdays Valley Children’s Museum Emerald Glen Park Dublin 11:00am – 3:00pm www.valleychildrensmuseum.org

Classic Movie @ the Vine: “The Hound of the Baskervilles” Vine Cinema Livermore 12:00pm – 2:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

Kids & Crafts: Carnivores, Herbivores & Me Oakland Zoo 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org


[ EVENTS ]

February February 8 & 9 Fun Weekend Activities Fairyland Oakland www.fairyland.org

February 9 13th Annual Lunar New Year Celebration Oakland Museum of CA 12:00pm www.museumca.org

Teddy Bear Tea Oakland Zoo 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

Circus Prescott Oakland Zoo 12:00pm & 1:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

February 10 Pajama-time Family Story-time Civic Center Library Livermore 7:00pm – 7:30pm www.cityoflivermore.net

February 13 Wake Up Your Body Habitot Berkeley 11:00am – 11:40am www.habitot.org

February 14  HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 

Cabaret: Valentine’s Day with the Incomparable Clairdee Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton Cost: $15 - $25 8:00pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

Valentine’s Day Love Mission Chabot Space & Science Center Oakland *Date Night* 9:15pm www.chabotspace.org

February 15 Brian Scott Studio Grow Berkeley 11:00am www.studiogrow.com

Jer Johnson’s Bee Basics: Bees, Beekeeping & More! Civic Center Library Livermore 2:00pm – 3:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

February 17 PRESIDENTS DAY!!

February 18 Rockin’ Tots Dublin Rockin’ Jump 9:00am – 11:00am www.rockinjump.com

February 20 Parents’ Night Out Habitot Berkeley Ages: 2 – 7 Cost: $35/child; $25/siblings 5:30pm – 9:30pm www.habitot.org

February 21 Free Admission Day Habitot Berkeley www.habitot.org

Kidgets Club – Book Blast Stoneridge Pleasanton 11:00am www.simon.com

Family-Friendly Member Tour Oakland Museum of CA 11:15am www.museumca.org

Zoovie Night: Madagascar 2 Oakland Zoo 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

February 15 & 16 Black History Weekend Fairyland Oakland www.fairyland.org

February 15 – 17

February 22 Primrose School Grand Opening! 7110 Koll Center Pkwy Pleasanton 925.600.7746 10:00am – 2:00pm www.PrimrosePleasanton.com

Murder on the Menu presents: “Murder in the Library” Civic Center Library Livermore *Adult Event* 7:00pm – 9:30pm www.cityoflivermore.net

February 22 & 23 Blake Maxam Fairyland Oakland 1:30pm & 2:30pm www.fairyland.org

Alameda County Spring Home & Garden Show Alameda County Fairgrounds Pleasanton Various Hours

February 23

www.alamedacountyfair.com

www.museumca.org

OMCA Family Drop-In Workshop Oakland Museum of CA 12:00pm

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21


[ EVENTS ]

February Meet the Bunnies Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 12:30pm – 1:00pm www.ebparks.org

February 26 Rockin’ Wednesday Rockin’ Jump Dublin 2 hours of jump for $12 www.rockinjump.com

February 26 & 27 Rockin’ Ever After Disney On Ice Oracle Arena Oakland www.disneyonice.com

February 28

February 2

February 7 – 9

Cars & Coffee Blackhawk Plaza Danville 8:00am

Winter Sidewalk Sale Danville Livery

www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

February 4 Red Panda Acrobats Lafayette Library Ages: All 6:30pm – 7:30pm www.lafayettelib.org

February 4, 11, 18 & 25 Tumble Time Xpress Drop & Shop! The Streets of Brentwood 10:00am – 11:00am www.shopstreetsofbrentwood.com

Theater: The Secret Garden Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton Cost: $6 – 18 7:30pm

February 5

www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

www.ci.danville.ca.us

Contra Costa County

February 5 – 26

February 1 Stratford School Open House! Multiple locations throughout the Bay Area Pre-registration required 10:00am – 1:00pm www.StratfordSchools.com

Build a Race Car Your Nearest Home Depot FREE Ages: 5 – 12 9:00am – 12:00pm

Art Chat: 24X24 Village Theatre Art Gallery Danville 7:00pm – 9:00pm

Animal Homes Lindsay Wildlife 4 Week Workshop Ages: 2 – 3 9:30am – 10:15am or 10:30am – 11:15am www.wildlife-museum.org

February 5, 12, 19 & 26 Something is Happening Upstairs San Ramon Library Ages: Middle Schoolers 3:00pm – 4:45pm

www.workshops.homedepot.com

www.sanramon.ca.gov

February 1, 8, 15 & 22

February 7

Lakeshore Learning FREE Craft Walnut Creek Normal Business Hours www.lakeshorelearning.com

First Friday Foreign Films: “A Separation” Front Row Theater San Ramon Tickets: $9.00 6:30pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

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www.danvillelivery.com

February 8 5th Annual Recreation Expo Danville Community Center 10:00am – 1:00pm www.ci.danville.ca.us

Hanna Banana Studio Grow Blackhawk Plaza Danville 11:00am www.studiogrow.com

Victorian Valentines Forest Home Farms: Fun on the Farm San Ramon 10:00am – 2:00pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

Wild About Animals Lindsay Wildlife Museum 2 Hour Workshop Various age groups & times available www.wildlife-museum.org

Lover’s Day Aloe Tour Ruth Bancroft Garden Walnut Creek 10:00am – 3:00pm www.ruthbancroftgarden.org

February 8 - 17 Wild Valentines Lindsay Wildlife Museum Walnut Creek www.wildlife-museum.org

February 10 Mini Monday Be My Valentine Lindsay Wildlife Museum Ages: 2 – 5+ Adult Price: $20.00 10:00am – 12:00pm www.wildlife-museum.org


[ EVENTS ]

February February 14

February 27

 HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 

Family Play Bloom Retreat Walnut Creek 3:00pm – 6:00pm

February 15 Night at the Improv Front Row Theater San Ramon 8:00pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

February 15 – 18 St. Mary School Presents: Grease School Version Village Theater Danville Show-times: 1:00pm, 2:00pm & 6:00pm www.villagetheatreshows.com

February 17 PRESIDENTS DAY!!

February 20 Creative Movement Oakley Ages: 3- 6 3:45pm www.ci.oakley.ca.us

February 22 Saturday Keeper Workshop Reptiles & Amphibians Lindsay Wildlife Museum Ages: 11 – 15 & 6 - 10 Price: $35 & $45 Times: 8:45am – 11:15am & 9:00am – 11:00am www.wildlife-museum.org

February 22 & 23 Mercy Watson to the Rescue Front Row Theater San Ramon Multiple show-times www.sanramon.ca.gov

February 24

www.bloomretreat.com

February 28 Under the Streetlamp DV Performing Arts Center San Ramon Tickets: $49 8:00pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

Worth the Drive February 2 Groundhog Day – Free Day! Exploratorium San Francisco 10:00am – 5:00pm www.exploratorium.edu

February 15 & 16 Chinatown Community Street Fair San Francisco Chinatown View website for hours www.chineseparade.com

February 20 American Heart Association Wine & Dine Around Santana Row San Jose 6:00pm – 9:00pm www.santanarow.com

February 22 Chinese New Year Celebration Santana Row San Jose Free! 1:00pm – 4:00pm www.santanarow.com

Mindful Flow Bloom Retreat Walnut Creek 9:00am – 10:00am www.bloomretreat.com

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23


[ HEALTH ]

Resolutions for a Cavity-Free Year by Dr. Ozzie Jafarnia

Dr. A. Ozzie Jafarnia, grew up in the East Bay, and is proud to be Danville’s first board certified pediatric dentist through the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry. She graduated from UC Davis with a Bachelor of Science in Microbiology and a minor in Psychology. And completed a one year post-baccalaureate fellowship with UCSF, where she was part of numerous outreach efforts in the San Francisco area. Dr. Ozzie began dental school at the University of Pacific, where she graduated with honors. She was honored with various recognitions, including the Charles Sweet Memorial Award for excellence in pediatric dentistry. Upon graduation, Dr. Ozzie began a rigorous two year hospitalbased residency program at one of the premier children’s hospitals in the country, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. She is a member of several professional organizations, including the American Academy of PediatricDentistry, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry, American Dental Association, California Society of Pediatric Dentistry, and the California Dental Association. She is also gives back to the community through the Give Kids a Smile Program, annually.

Did you know that the most common chronic childhood disease is tooth decay? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly one out of every five children in the US has an untreated cavity. More than 51 million school hours are lost every year because of dental problems. Moreover, nearly 100% of cavities are preventable. Want a cavity free year? Following these four simple steps can keep you and your kids on the right path to a healthy mouth: 1. Catch up on dental visits. Start the year off right by setting up an appointment and taking care of issues you may have been avoiding. Time or finances can result in missed checkups, but putting off needed exams or dental work often causes problems to become more costly, more time consuming and more painful. 2. Commit to brushing 2min2x. Brushing for two minutes, twice each day is basic to staying cavity free. Brushing at the same time each day, as part of your regular routine can help develop a daily habit of oral care. Consider brushing with your children so they can see an example of good oral hygiene and will be motivated to care for their own teeth. Because brushing for a full two minutes can be a challenge for young children, the ADA has created fun videos that are exactly two minutes long. You can find them on the2Min2X website www.2min2x.org. 3. Help children with flossing. Surprisingly, a survey from Delta Dental revealed that 43 percent of

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parents said their children’s teeth are never flossed. Additionally, the ADA reports that one in ten US adults neglect flossing as well. Why not start a new habit this year and begin flossing regularly? Flossing daily helps to reach the places that a toothbrush simply cannot go and it’s one of the best ways to prevent gum disease. Children often lack the manual dexterity, until about age 8, to properly floss all of their teeth. In particular, young children often lack the ability to floss their back molars, which is where decay is often found. Help with flossing allows children the opportunity to stay cavity-free, but also helps take care of a task that is often difficult for children. 4. Check that you are getting the proper amount of fluoride. Fluoride is a natural mineral that has been shown to dramatically reduce cavities. You may not realize it, but most of the water coming from faucets in the U.S. is fluoridated. Unfortunately, bottled water usually doesn’t contain fluoride, so kids and adults that exclusively drink bottled water may be missing valuable anti-cavity benefits. Switch to tap water this year. You could save a plastic bottle from the trash and possibly your teeth from a cavity. Cavities are preventable. This could be a banner year for your teeth simply by following these simple steps! Please call our office should you have any further questions.


Kids LoveShelby Us, J. Smith, DDS,Us MS, PC Parents Trust Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics

Kids Love Us, Parents Trust Us Over the past 20 years, Dr. Shelby has developed the reputation for being one of the most successful dentists in treating fearful and special needs children. Her gentle and low-key approach has helped thousands of kids have a great experience. Working with their parents, Dr. Shelby and her staff have been successful treating many children who otherwise might have been sedated. In addition, Dr. Shelby has a degree in Orthodontics so as her patients grow, the transition into braces is more comfortable. Seeing the smiles on the faces of her patients as they grow from tiny tots to confident teens is one of the great joys of her life.

Call Today for your Appointment 925.755.5115 Meet Pollyanna... The World’s Smallest Dental Professional

2213 Buchanan Road, Suite 112 Antioch, California 94509 www.DrShelby.com FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25


26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014

Photos by Photographer Jen Skog

Glamping it UP


[ STYLE ]

Fashion Tip:

Wild Prints!

Don’t be intimidated by prints when it comes to fashion! Pair your printed pants or tops with a neutral piece to tone it down. Beige Maxi skirt: $28.50 Grey printed poncho: $42.50 Printed Yoga pants: $48.50 Cream Long sleeve crop top: $32.50 Red Aztec Pants: $26.50 Cream cozy sweater: $58.50 Yellow Printed high low dress: $43.50 Tan cardigan: $52.50 Floral Dress: $43.50 Stop by Prim in Pleasanton and mention this ad to receive 20% OFF activefamily20 www.iloveprim.com 520 Main St, Pleasanton, CA 94566 | (925) 399-5648

Styled | Prim Boutique Hair and Makeup | Salon Vivace Flowers | The Petal Company Photographer | Jen Skog FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27


Is Your Bank Account as Sexy as You Are?

[ FINANCE ]

by Michelle Perry Higgins Today, more women are taking charge of their physical fitness than ever. Not only is regular exercise good for your health, but when you look good you also begin to feel good. We women can obsess over being curvy in all the right places, but how often does that include your wallet? A few simple changes in your financial routine can get your bank account in great shape too. Follow my tips below and you could start seeing results right away.

As a financial planner and principal of California Financial Advisors in San Ramon, California, Michelle Perry Higgins specializes in wealth management. Over the past 17 years she has built a successful practice advising executive professionals into retirement, and her passion for finance has helped hundreds of individuals better understand the process of investing and fiscal planning. Ms. Higgins was featured as a 2012 and 2013 Five Star Wealth Manager Award, Diablo Magazine, and was also ranked in the Top 50 WomenOwned RIAs in 2013, Top 25 Women RIAs 2012 and Top 40 Under 40 by WealthManagement.com. She has been quoted in Yahoo! Finance, MSN Money and The Los Angeles Times, is a contributor to Examiner.com and is a Wall Street Journal Expert Panelist. Ms. Higgins is a frequent public speaker on retirement planning, investments, wealth management, college education funding, estate planning and insurance. She is also proud to mentor college students interested in entering the financial planning profession. Ms. Higgins graduated from St. Mary’s College, with a concentration in business administration and economics.

Just like cardio, a smart retirement plan focuses on the long run. One of the most basic aspects of physical fitness is good cardiovascular health. A healthy heart and lungs will help ensure you live a long, happy life. While many women aren’t applying that same philosophy to their retirement savings, a couple of simple adjustments can help you take full advantage of the benefits. First, try to maximize the employer percentage match on your 401(k) contributions. This is the easiest way for you to quickly increase your savings balance. Second, although it can be tempting, don’t ever touch your retirement savings. Except in time of dire emergency, this money is completely off-limits. Remember that this is your nest egg, they center of your long-term plan. Keep focused on the end result and strengthen your resolve to go the distance. Weighed down by debt? Here’s how to shed those pounds in no time. High amounts of debt may sometimes feel like a burden that you just can’t budge. If you’ve gotten to the point where your debt is overwhelming, it’s time to make a plan. I suggest putting together a “snowball” payment schedule to get rid of those heavyweight debts faster. KK.org has an easy-to-use calculator spreadsheet that allows you to keep track of your debts and helps you minimize additional interest. The snowball method starts by committing to a minimum payment on all of your debts. Next, determine how much additional money you can afford to put towards your debt with the highest interest rate. After you’ve paid it off, reallocate that debt’s payment towards paying of the next debt with the highest interest rate, and so on. As you start to see progress in reducing your debt, you’ll become even more motivated pay off existing balances and keep a closer eye on spending. This will help keep you out of debt in the future. Yoga and Pilates are great, but make sure you are financially flexible as well. We all know that having a well funded savings account makes good financial sense. However, I suggest having a second, much smaller savings account that I like to call your personal flexible fund. Every paycheck, set aside 3-5% of your income and deposit it into this account. Trust me, you’ll hardly miss the money, but it will pay dividends every month. Your flex fund is essentially mad money savings, like extra cash you might put in a cookie jar. This money will act as a buffer against life’s unexpected surprises like a missed birthday gift, an unplanned lunch or even a cracked windshield. By keeping your flex fund healthy and using it responsibly, it will leave you feeling limber when life puts in you in a tight spot. Just like physical fitness, taking care of your finances is an ongoing process that requires planning and patience. You can’t expect to see results overnight, but if you keep at it consistently, you will definitely get yourself into financially fit shape.

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FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29


Date Night

Around the Bay

Hamachi

1523 Giammona Drive Walnut Creek, CA 94596 www.sushihamachi.com Cuisine: Sushi Price: $30 and under Hamachi is a premier Sushi, Martini and Dueling Piano Lounge located in downtown Walnut Creek. They offer a variety of Asian small dishes, an extensive sushi menu, wine and hot Sake. Their atmosphere is refreshing and cozy during piano nights. Join them for a special Valentine’s Day experience. Reserve now at www.OpenTable.com or give them a call at 925.296.0630.

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[ HOME LIFE ]

Artisan Bistro

1005 Brown Avenue Lafayette, CA 94549 www.artisanlafayette.com Cuisine: Contemporary French Price: $30 and under

On Valentine’s Day, Artisan Bistro will be featuring a prix fixe 4 course menu for $119.00 per person. To reserve your seats, visit www.OpenTable.com or give the crew at Artisan Bistro a call at 925.962.0882.

Photos courtesy of April Waldram

Artisan Bistro offers a warm, welcoming ambiance, perfect for special occasions like Valentine’s Day. The highly refined food of Chef/Owner John Marquez blends Northern California’s local/organic sensibilities with French influences and techniques. Marquez, who is a Danville native is known for his use of seasonal, often organic, locally sourced ingredients. The dining room is contemporary, stylish and elegant, displaying natural wood beams, a cozy stone fireplace and exhibits by a local artist, John Earl from Walnut Creek.

A16 Rockridge 5356 College Avenue Oakland, CA 94618 www.a16rockridge.com Cuisine: Italian Price: $31 to $50

A16 Rockridge got its name from the highway that runs from Naples in Campania to Canosa in Puglia. They gather their inspiration from Italy’s soulful and lively south and exploring the seafood-rich culture of the Eastern side. Chef Rocky Maselli has deep-rooted Puglian heritage, he combines this in his cuisine style with the bountiful offerings of Northern California. Their menu offers a daily selection of antipasti, raw seafood and handmade pastas. The open dining room showcases their two wood-fire ovens which help make authentic Neapolitan pizzas and roasted fish and meats. On Valentine’s Day, A16 Rockridge will be featuring a special prix fixe menu at $85 per person. View their menu at their website: www.a16rockridge.com. To reserve your seats, visit www.OpenTable.com or call A16 Rockridge at 510.768.8003.

Bridges Restaurant 44 Church St. Danville, CA 94526 www.bridgesdanville.com Cuisine: Californian Price: $30 and under

Bridges Restaurant is located in downtown Danville. Bridges Restaurant is located in downtown Danville. Not only is it known for the Mrs. Doubtfire scene which was filmed here but it is known for its urban-casual elegance atmosphere. Walking up to Bridges Restaurant guests are greeted by their vine-covered walkway, cozy patio and natural granite waterfall. Inside, their sleek lounge is the perfect spot to enjoy a glass of wine or delicious specialty cocktail. The spacious contemporary dining room

features rich-colored walls, oversized shades, high arched cedar ceilings and a whimsical mural of local bridges. Chef Kevin Gin is the culinary mastermind behind the scenes using only the highest quality, freshest ingredients and creative imagination. His cuisine style is California with European and Asian influences. What better to go with an amazing, sophisticated meal than Wine! Director David Gibson’s extensive wine list offers selections ranging from locally-produced wines to the finest vintages from around the world. On Valentine’s Day, Bridges Restaurant will feature a 3 course Prix Fixe dinner prepared by Chef Kevin Gin (this is a dinner only event). To reserve your seats, visit www.OpenTable.com or give them a call at 925.820.7200.

FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31


[ HOME LIFE ]

Simply Fondue

2300 First Street #110 Livermore, CA 94550 www.simplyfonduelivermore.com Cuisine: Fondue Price: $31 to $50 Celebrate the art of cooking right at your table at Simply Fondue in Livermore. Select from succulent lobster and beef to out-of-this-world imported cheese and chocolate fondues. Their relaxed and casual dining atmosphere moves in a leisurely pace. They use only the finest ingredients and make all of the sauces, batters and dressings from scratch, daily. The extensive wine list of more than 100 hand-crafted martinis and specialty drinks are the perfect addition to this sensual meal. They will be offering a Valentine’s Day package which includes a 5-course dinner, long stemmed rose, commemorative photo, plus a special gift for $180 per couple. Make this a night to remember by reserving your seats now at www.OpenTable.com or calling them at 925.443.6638.

Pasta Moon

Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse

315 Main St. Half Moon Bay, CA 94019 www.pastamoon.com Cuisine: Italian Price: $30 and under

1553 Olympic Blvd., Bldg. E Walnut Creek, CA 94596 www.ruthschris.com Cuisine: Steak Price: $31 to $50 Ruth Chris Steak House in Walnut Creek serves up the finest USDA Prime Beef available, broiled at 1,800° and served on 500° plates. Enjoy these mouthwatering steaks, New-Orleans inspired appetizers, fresh seafood, signature side dishes and homemade desserts. Their warm, inviting atmosphere and genuine hospitality is an unforgettable experience. Treat your Valentine to their 6oz Filet & Twin Lobster Tails for $47.95. Reserve your seats now at www.OpenTable.com or give the wonderful staff a call at 925.977.3477.

For over 25 years, Pasta Moon Restaurant serves contemporary Italian cuisine. Chef/Owner Kim Levin strongly believes in giving back to the community and supporting local coast side farmers, ranchers, fishermen and gourmet artisans. The menu rotates regularly depending on what’s in season, bringing an Italian dining experience like no other and eco-friendly! You will find a cozy setting for lunch or dinner, surrounded by old arched casement windows. Treat your special loved one to an exquisite meal on Valentine’s Day. Their Prix-fix menu will feature only the freshest local ingredients. To reserve your seats, visit www.OpenTable.com or call Pasta Moon at 650.725.5125.

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DANVILLE | LAMORINDA 32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014

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[ FOOD ]

Kids and Food Wars —What Every Parent Needs to Know by Meg Meeker, M.D. Kids approach eating very differently than we do. For most boys and girls under nine to ten years old, eating is simply not a priority. It is just something they know they must do. But for us parents, what, when, and how our kids eat is an emotionally loaded issue. We mothers and fathers want our kids to eat well so that they grow the way they should. Because when our kids grow well, we feel like successful parents. In twenty-five years of practicing pediatrics, I can say that some of the most stressed parents I encounter are those whose kids can’t gain weight. Whether it’s anorexia, chronic diarrhea, bowel disease, etc., when a child fails to gain weight, parents feel like failures.

Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships. Dr. Meeker is co-host and physician-inresidence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training. She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years. They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.

We need to understand that food issues in children under age nine to ten bother us, not kids. When we become anxious about their eating, they pick up on it and learn very quickly to use eating habits to get what they want from us. They hear us say, “Eat your peas and I’ll buy you a toy” or “One more bite, and then you can go outside and play.” When they hear things like that, why wouldn’t they use eating to get what they want? I sure would. Since eating is a source of anxiety for parents and a tool for kids to manipulate parents, there are a few things that every parent must know in order to avoid serious trouble. Here’s what I have learned works to keep kids’ eating patterns normal. 1. No food wars If your two-year-old won’t eat his peas, don’t make him. Offer him balanced meals three times a day and if he doesn’t eat, don’t feel guilty and never offer compensatory foods. (Don’t offer fruit roll ups two hours later because you’re afraid he’s starving.) Just offer another meal at dinner. Remember, he’s not interested in a large variety of foods, so keep things simple. Give him a choice of one or two vegetables, one or two meats, and a fruit or two. He doesn’t need to like a wide variety of greens; one or two will suffice until he’s older. 2. Never bribe kids to eat. Bribing kids lets them know that their eating is really important to you. Since you can’t force them to eat, this gives them a lot of control. They quickly realize that they have power over you. Even three-year-olds will hold out eating in order to get what they want from parents, so never enter this arena. Don’t let them know how much you want them to eat. 3. Meal times should be pleasant. If your kids won’t eat, have them sit at the table with you anyway. Don’t talk about what they eat or how much. Just have pleasant conversation. This will help them relax and I guarantee, eventually, when they are relaxed and realize that no one is focusing on food, they will eat. In twenty-five years, I haven’t had a child starve to death yet. Remember, kids don’t naturally make

34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014


[ FOOD ] food a big deal. So when you do, it throws them off and they quickly recognize that food and meals can be used to drive you crazy, so don’t talk about it.

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4. Don’t be the food police. When a child has an eating disorder, she knows that Mom or Dad watches every morsel of food she puts in her mouth. This act fuels her starvation. Time and space limit a deeper discussion here for the reasons, but suffice it to say that when we treat kids with eating disorders, one of the first things we do is have Mom and Dad stop watching over their shoulders. We physicians take responsibility for their weight gain to take the burden of food intake off of the parent’s shoulders. Parents need to provide love, security, comfort, and a relaxed atmosphere—not ensure that kids gain weight. When it comes down to it, food wars, bribing, and overfocusing on meals is our issue, not our kids’. The best way to ensure healthy eating habits and healthy weight gain for them is to help relax our attitude about meals and hold our kids’ eating habits much more loosely. After all, food exists to keep fuel in their bodies so they can reach adulthood. No more, no less. Let’s keep it that way.

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FEBRUARY 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 35


When to Call the Doctor – A Guide for Parents

[ HEALTH ]

by Palo Alto Medical Foundationdation Parents often wish they had a crystal ball to help them decide when their sick child needs to go to a doctor. Is the sore arm after a fall really broken? Is the rising fever a sign of serious illness? Joseph J. Schwartz, M.D., a family medicine doctor at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation in Fremont says, “As a fellow parent and physician, I think that one of the most difficult parenting decisions to make is when to contact your child’s doctor, as you have to decide the level of urgency and the source of your information.” During well child visits, discuss potential future situations with your child’s doctor that merit an email or an immediate phone call, recommends Dr. Schwartz. “Beyond that,” he says, “the most important advice is to trust your instincts — if your child looks really sick to you then act immediately.”

Joseph J. Schwartz, M.D., is a board-certified family medicine physician at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation (PAMF) in Fremont. Advice is not intended to take the place of an exam or diagnosis by a physician. PAMF background: The Palo Alto Medical Foundation for Health Care, Research and Education (PAMF) is a not-for-profit health care organization dedicated to enhancing the health of people in our communities. This includes more than 800,000 patients and countless community members across Alameda, San Mateo, Santa Clara and Santa Cruz counties.

Dr. Schwartz offers these specific guidelines on when you should seek medical help for your child. Call you doctor during regular office hours if your child: • Has a fever higher than 101.5 F, especially if the child is younger than 2 years old • Is unable to keep any fluids down and is no longer making tears • Is unusually tired and lethargic • Has a cold and is constantly crying, irritable and difficult to console Call your doctor immediately if your baby younger than 2 months of age: • Has a fever of 100.4 F rectally • Is vomiting (not spitting up) • Is very irritable, lethargic or is skipping feedings • Has infected-looking skin around the umbilical stump (red and warm to the touch or has a bad odor) Call your doctor immediately for medical advice if your child of any age: • Is constantly crying, irritable, inconsolable and behaving differently than usual • Is having any difficulty swallowing and is drooling more than usual • Is difficult to arouse, confused or delirious

36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | FEBRUARY 2014

• Has a stiff neck or headache and fever over 101.5 F • Has purple or red spots on the skin that are large or pinpoint in size and do not fade with pressure • Has difficulty breathing (unless it is due to a stuffy nose) Go to the nearest emergency room or call 911 if your child: • Stops breathing. Call 911 and begin CPR immediately • Loses consciousness at any time • Experiences a seizure (unless the child has a known seizure disorder) • Has severe bleeding that does not stop or slow down after five minutes of direct pressure • Suffers a head injury that causes loss of consciousness or exposes or deforms the skull • Has difficulty breathing or gasping aspirations • Exhibits sudden changes in the eyes (like crossed eyes, droopy eyelids or difficulty using the eyes) • Suffers an injury that causes paralysis or profound weakness in any part of the body


[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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