Active Family Magazine | December 2022

Publisher/Editor

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Travel Editor

Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Social Media Manager and Sales Manager

Trista Cambra-Flanders

Design/Production

Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group

Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Contributing Authors

Amy McCready

Amy Morin, LCSW

Dr. Laura Markham

Christine Carter, Ph.D. Elizabeth Kang Katie Moe

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note

Happy Holidays! The season brings a mixture of joy and stress for busy parents. We wanted to acknowledge how difficult it is to navigate the season and offer advice to help get through the holidays, happy and unscathed! Please check out our numerous articles in this issue dedicated to the topic. How to Set Boundaries for the Holidays? Flip to page 12 to learn how. Navigating Toxic Family Relationships and Holidays Gatherings on page 22 will give you the tools you need to remain calm and centered during the hectic get togethers!

Trying to keep the magic of Santa alive? Amy McCready’s article on page 30 is sure to offer amazing ideas.

We wish you and your family a wonderfully magical holiday and a very happy New Year!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor

info@activefamilymag.com

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone. You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

Divorce: Surviving the Holidays

by Dr. Laura Markham

QUESTION

This will be our first holiday since the divorce. I feel like our family has been broken. How can I give my kids a good holiday?

ANSWER

It's true that the family you once had is no more. But you DO have a family with your child. While the holidays will be different for you this year, and probably painful at times, this is a golden opportunity to create new traditions that express your love and your values. And celebrating with your child will support both of you as your child goes from having one family to having two.

1. Acknowledge the grief. Holidays are hard for everyone, because we all have a fantasy that the holidays means life will be perfect. For divorced

parents, grief can hit hard. It's important to be aware of this, and find ways to both let yourself grieve and nurture yourself through this hard time. It's when we don't take responsibility for taking care ourselves that we end up without the inner resources to manage our own emotions -- so we fight with our ex or upset our child.

2. Expect your child to act out, and if he lashes out in anger or disappointment about something inconsequential, remember that his heart is hurting.

Kids of divorced parents are even more prone to grief at the holidays than adults are, because it highlights the difference between their fantasy and their reality.

If you can take a deep breath yourself and stay as compassionate as possible, you can help your child to acknowledge the sadness beneath his anger, and make a leap forward in healing.

your child out of guilt, or find yourself competing with your ex to give bigger and better presents.

5. Maintain as much continuity as possible. If there are special traditions that are part of your family holidays, your child will find comfort in them, even if modifications are necessary. Remember that what your child really wants for the holidays is a close relationship with each parent, and be sure that quality connection time is built into your holiday plans. You might use the opportunity to create one new tradition with each parent, something that wasn't part of your old family life but that your child can look forward to in future years.

3. Your child wants to celebrate with both parents, but consider carefully the messages you're giving if both parents expect to spend Christmas morning, or the first night of Hanukkah, in your old family home with the kids. It's natural for children to fantasize that this means you're ready to work things out, which is unfair to your child. To avoid this, be clear with your child that this is time-limited, and that, for instance, "after we all open gifts, Dad will be taking you to Grandma's for dinner." If it doesn't work for everyone to celebrate together, then split the holiday up. For example, Christmas Eve and morning with Mom, Christmas day and dinner with Dad.

4. You may be divorced, but your child isn't. That means you're still co-parenting, and you have to find ways to communicate so you can forge a good parenting partnership to do your best for your child. The holidays will give you lots of opportunity to perfect your peaceful communication, as you work out visitation schedules and presents. Why talk to your ex about presents? Because presents symbolize love. You don't want to overindulge

6. What if it isn't your year to have the kids, and you'll be on your own? First, schedule a very special day when your child returns to you to celebrate the holiday together. Be sure to include a tradition that's important to you both. Whatever holiday you celebrate, the spirit lives well beyond that day, and your child needs to celebrate it with you to feel complete.

Second, don't succumb to self-pity. Instead, give yourself this unscheduled time as a holiday gift and make plans to do something delicious that you otherwise would never get to do. This is harder during Covid, when you can't just indulge in a day at your favorite museum or bookstore, or hop on a plane to fly somewhere warm. But you might be able to find a spa that just requires a covid test and then will pamper you for a couple of days. Even if you stay home, don't work. Sleep late, watch your favorite old movies, put on music and break out your best dance moves. In other words, if you're alone on the holiday, indulge yourself and revel in your own company. It will help you be a more inspired parent the rest of the year.

Dr. Laura has a video offering advice for divorce with children. Click here to watch

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT:

– Edgewood Tahoe Resort –

A Dreamy, Upscale Winter-Wonderland Escape

by Elizabeth Kang

My family just returned from a winter wonderland that’s both luxurious and family friendly, a combo that’s not easy to come by in the Lake Tahoe area. We had a wonderful, snow-filled weekend. Me, my husband and two daughters all enjoyed fireside s’mores, heated-pool dips, gourmet meals, bonding over board games, and picturesque views from our room of a frosty Lake Tahoe, surrounded by pristine, untouched snow.

Edgewood Tahoe is an elegant, cozy winter escape, featuring gorgeous alpine chateau architecture, with oversized, cathedral windows to take in the breathtaking scenery of the lake from almost every angle on the property. With three distinct restaurants, a heated outdoor pool and massive hot tub, nightly s’mores and board games, Edgewood Tahoe is the perfect upscale home base to explore Tahoe’s legendary winter wonderland.

ACCOMMODATIONS

This newly built resort was completed in the summer of 2017, and offers 154 rooms and suites boasting cozy gas fireplaces and a private deck or terrace. Room decor is classic, minimal and cozy, with warm, rich wood, and serene blue and white luxury linens — a nod to the pristine blue lake just outside your door. These comfortable rooms boast all the amenities you would expect from a luxury resort, such as plush robes, slippers, heated floors, strong wifi, Keurig coffee makers, premium linens, and luxury bath products. Booking a first-floor, lake-front room is a worthwhile splurge, because waking up to a view of the stunning lake and surrounding winter-scape is an incredibly memorable experience. Being on the first floor allows children quick access through sliding-glass doors to the outdoor snow — where snow angels can be made to their heart’s content.

ENVIRONMENTAL EFFORTS

The Lodge at Edgewood has been recognized for its continuing movements toward preservation and renovation of surrounding wildlife and energy-saving efforts. The Lodge is on a continuing quest for a “greener building,” by sourcing local material, hiring a LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) architect, and encouraging alternative methods of transportation for guests (free shuttles) and employees (lockers to encourage biking to work.)

DINING

Edgewood offers three excellent dining options that suit every mood: One upscale, fine dining restaurant that's only open for dinner, one popular contemporary choice open for breakfast lunch and dinner, and one casual sports bar-themed option. Traveling with little ones, we tried all but the fine dining option, and found both choices excellent.

The Bistro at Edgewood (located at the main lodge) is a popular dining hub with breakfast, lunch and dinner service. The restaurant is refined, yet casual, making it just as appropriate for families as it is for date night. The menu features breakfast classics with an upscale twist (e.g. Baked Baguette French Toast and Duck Confit Hash,) brick-oven pizzas and seasonal sandwiches and salads for lunch, and steak, game and seafood options for dinner. A kids’ menu is also available.

Edgewood Restaurant is well-known around the city for its romantic, breathtaking views of the lake, floor to ceiling windows and an elegant lodge-like atmosphere. It’s the kind of restaurant perfectly suited for celebrating a special occasion or romantic date. Expect to find

indulgent, classic fare such as foie gras, lobster fettuccine and filet mignon. Save room for the nightly creme brûlée or bananas foster.

Brooks Bar & Deck, overlooking the golf course, is the perfect spot to grab a casual bite or happy hour drink and watch a game. You’ll find hot wings, salads, fish tacos, burgers and other delicious, casual eats. I enjoyed a delicious ahi tuna appetizer there that I’m still dreaming about, and my kids happily gobbled up a generous portion of chicken fingers and fries.

WINTER ACTIVITIES

Edgewood offers a delightful assortment of winter activities, including an adorable on-site ice-skating rink, and guided hikes, led by the property’s expert nature guides.

While Edgewood has long been known as the premier golfing resort in Tahoe, it’s also a great home base for skiing and snowboarding. The Lodge offers ski/snowboard lessons, equipment rentals and free shuttle service to nearby Heavenly Mountain, among other destinations.

The resort also hosts festive nightly ski gatherings with s’mores and signature drinks. The year-round hot tub is a wonderful way to soothe sore muscles after a day on the slopes. And if you should forget your gloves or goggles, the resort offers onsite shops for any snow gear or souvenirs you’d want to purchase.

SPA

Don’t forget to carve out some “me” time while staying at the resort, and book a memorable spa treatment at The Spa at Edgewood, located on the second floor of the Lodge. The spa offers guests a private, serene space to pamper and unwind. The spa menu includes luxurious and pampering facials, massages and body treatments. Also included on the salon menu are haircuts, color treatments, manicures, pedicures, blowouts and more.

EDGEWOOD TAHOE

100 Lake Pkwy, Stateline, NV 89449 888-769-1924 www.edgewoodtahoe.com

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Dear Christine: How Can I Set Boundaries for the Holidays?

by Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Dear Christine,

My brother and his family will be visiting us from out of town the week of Christmas, and I generally make myself too available and try to make everyone comfortable when they are in town. I am already starting to feel anxious about it. How can I set boundaries and not make myself overly available when they are here? This is an issue at work and in my personal life.

Thanks in advance! Overly Available to Others

Dear Overly Available, Knowing that you need to set better boundaries this year tells me that you are on the right track already. You can do it! Below are three steps to setting

boundaries—and also three things for you to remember while you do so.

THREE STEPS TO SETTING A BOUNDARY

1. Decide what you need, and articulate for yourself why you need it. Where is the line for you between enjoying your family and resenting them? For my part, I need to keep up some semblance of a routine, or I start to fall apart (which is not pleasant for anyone in our household). I know that I need to go to bed early and wake up early so that I have time to meditate and go to yoga or my favorite exercise class. These things keep me grounded. They also make me a better mother and wife; when I’m grounded and calm, I’m able to help others more, not less. Also: I know that these things aren’t for everybody. I’m not asking anyone else to hop in the car with me at 5:30 in the morning.

What do you need, Overly Available, so that you can enjoy your brother and his family? Maybe you need uninterrupted time to yourself every evening, or perhaps you need your family to take care of their own breakfast. Make a list.

2. Tell folks what you need. Once you know what you need, tell your brother and his family what that is. Practice calm nonchalance, even if you feel anxious or guilty about boundary setting. While normal, emotions like anxiety and guilt are not helpful here. Acknowledge and accept how you are feeling to yourself, but don’t act on those feelings. Take a few deep breaths and ground yourself, and then just say what you need. Try to use the same tone that you would use if you were explaining how to log on to your WiFi network or use the TV remote: These are facts that will make their stay more enjoyable. There is no need to defend yourself or apologize or over-explain. Use as few words as possible.

3. Follow through. In the same way that you might need to give multiple family members the WiFi password numerous times, you will likely need to teach people what you need repeatedly. And if what you need conflicts with what they want, you can be sure that you will need to repeat yourself. Try using the same phrasing again and again; it can help people tune in to the fact

that you’ve drawn the boundary before.

When my high schoolers ask me to help them with a paper 10 minutes before my bedtime, 100 percent of the time I’m tempted to stay up late and help them. I like to help them with their papers, and I want them to do well. But I don’t do it, because for me, staying up late is a steep, slippery slope straight to exhaustion and resentment.

THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER

1. Hurting yourself doesn’t ultimately help others. This is the old put-your-own-oxygen-mask-on-first argument: Should you become weak from lack of oxygen— because you have not adequately taken care of yourself—you will be useless to others. If you become exhausted or resentful, this will not make your brother’s visit a good one. None of you will feel more bonded at the end of the holiday. Your household is less likely to be filled with love and cheer.

Similarly, it doesn’t help my kids in the long run if I rescue their papers late at night. They won’t learn to plan better, for example, and planning is a critical skill that will help them succeed academically.

2. You can handle the discomfort that comes from boundary setting. Firm boundary setting is a skill we need to practice. It’s a growth opportunity that can be stressful and uncomfortable. That’s okay. You can handle it. Breathe. Notice your thoughts: Which ones are causing you stress? Which are making you feel like you should do what other people want instead of what you need to do for yourself?

You don’t have to believe all of these thoughts, because they might not actually be true. (Reminder: Our feelings are always true. Our thoughts, though, can be riddled with errors.) For example, maybe you’ve established that you need some time each morning to yourself, and that time is when you walk the dog. But it’s such a beautiful day, and everyone else thinks it’s a great idea to go for a walk! They want to come with you! This could easily make you believe the stressful thought, “It’s selfish and antisocial to take the dog for a walk alone.” That thought

is going to make you cave; it’s a boundary-destroying thought.

So bring yourself back to the truth: It’s better for everyone if you practice basic self-care. You will be a better sister and aunt and host if you have some time to yourself. Each time a stressful thought arises, counter it with the truth.

3. You aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings. Really: You aren’t. You are responsible for yourself and your own emotions and behaviors. Your boundaries may disappoint or frustrate or even anger others. We can’t control this; other people get to feel how they feel.

Sometimes, in their hurt and disappointment, people will try to convince us that we are acting mean or unkind or selfish. Repeat after me: It is never mean or unkind to take care of yourself and your own basic needs. It is unkind to harm ourselves, no matter how subtly, and it is certainly unkind to ask someone else to harm themselves. That might seem overly dramatic, but think of minor boundary crossings like paper cuts. They might

not hurt that much one time, but they’re still something to avoid, because if we don’t follow through on a boundary we’ve set, it becomes much harder to enforce the next time. And 50 paper cuts will really hurt and hinder you.

Here is the excellent news about this tricky business of boundary setting, Overly Available: The benefits are immediate. You will enjoy your brother and his family’s visit so much more than if you let them walk all over you like a doormat. And next year, rather than feeling anxious about your brother’s visit, you’ll likely look forward to it.

Yours, Christine

In Dear Christine, sociologist and coach Christine Carter responds to your questions about marriage, parenting, happiness, work, family, and, well, life. Want to submit a question? Email advice@christinecarter.flywheelsites. com.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, psychology instructor, and speaker. Her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do is on sale now. She's frequently quoted in national media outlets. She also writes for Forbes and About.com. For more visit www. AmyMorinLCSW.com

10 Surprising Benefits Of Having A Dog

by Amy Morin, LCSW

Dogs offer more than just companionship. If you’ve got a furry friend already, you likely have quite a few reasons to thank your dog. If you’re considering getting a pooch, check out these surprising benefits of having a dog.

1. You’ll exercise more. Owning a dog can motivate you to exercise every day. On those days when it might be easy to skip a workout, looking at your dog standing by the door waiting to go for a walk can give you the push you need to get out there. Taking your dog for a 30 minute walk every day can greatly improve your health.

2. You’ll feel less stressed. There have been lots of studies that have shown how dogs decrease stress

levels. Petting your dog, playing with your dog, and simply watching your dog can reduce your stress each day. Research shows that dog ownership reduces stress hormones and the effects usually outweigh the stress caused by caring for a dog.

3. Your social life may improve. Not only does walking your dog help you to get exercise, it might also help you get a date. People are more likely to stop and talk with you when you’re walking a dog. Going to the dog park or taking your dogs to run errands can also lead to strangers striking up conversations with you about your dog.

in particular tend to experience a reduced rate of heart disease.

7. You’re less likely to feel depressed. The benefits of dog ownership extend to your mental health as well. Dog owners are less likely to be depressed. Dog owners who have been diagnosed with clinical depression aren’t likely to be as depressed as other people. Caring for a dog helps relieve symptoms of depression and encourages people to be more positive.

4. You may detect cancer sooner. A dog’s amazing sense of smell can be used for a variety of purposes, including cancer detection. Many dog owners have reported their dog sniffing, licking, or nudging spots that later turned out to be cancerous. One of the unexpected benefits of having a dog is that it may even save your life by helping you to detect cancer.

8. You can grow old gracefully. Dog ownership benefits elderly people in many ways. Alzheimer’s patients have fewer outbursts when there is a dog in the home. Caregivers of elderly patients report less stress. Dogs offer wonderful companionship for the elderly as well.

5. Your kids will be less likely to have allergies.

Children who are raised around a dog are less likely to have allergies. In fact, living in a home with a dog can help kids grow up to have an increased immunity to pet allergies later in life.

6. Your heart will be healthier.

Studies have shown that petting a dog lowers a person’s heart rate. Therefore, dog owners are more likely to have a healthy heart. In fact, some research has shown that dog owners are much more likely to survive a heart attack compared to non-dog owners. Male pet owners

9. Your risk for general illness decreases. Dog owners experience fewer health problems. Dog owners tend to have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels compared to non-dog owners. Dogs expose their owners to a lot of germs, which can help build up a human’s immunity to disease. As a result, dog owners get sick less often and less severely than non-dog owners.

10. You’ll feel safer.

Dogs can be an effective home security system. Studies show that barking dogs deter burglars. Just knowing that you’ve got a dog who can use its keen sense of hearing to detect anyone prowling around can help increase your sense of security, which is good for both your mental and physical health.

For Katie Moe, real estate is about connection. For nearly two decades, she has served her East Bay clients with integrity and compassion.

A California native, Katie grew up in a real estate family. In 2005, she started her real estate career with a toolkit full of strong communication skills, savvy marketing strategies, project management experience, and top-tier leadership abilities.

In 2020, when the world changed, so did Katie. She started asking herself how she could serve people better, make a difference, and help strengthen her community. This led her to launch Connect California Homes in 2022, which she designed to foster deeper, more meaningful relationships with clients, agents, and the community.

Katie loves to spend time with her three daughters and husband.

How to Get Kids Involved in Holiday Giving

by Katie Moe

I know at the holidays a lot of kids are excited about what they’re going to GET, but how about helping them get excited about what they’re going to GIVE? The East Bay is not only a wonderful place to live, it’s also a supportive community with lots of opportunities to assist our neighbors around us. Read on for a few ways to inspire the kiddos in your life to help spread some holiday cheer this season.

Ruby’s Place

Located in Castro Valley, Ruby’s Place has a simple mission: Ruby’s Place is an innovative nonprofit committed to ending domestic violence, human trafficking, and violent crime through hope, advocacy, and connection.

Plan a family shopping day and get your kids involved as they help pick a family and select the items to give! Brighten the lives of the families we serve as we kick off our annual Adopt a Family program by fulfilling their holiday wishlist! You can bring lots of joy this holiday season and remind the families that they are not alone. Adopting a family means you will be paired with an applicant family and agree to purchase gifts for children, parents, and household items.

Family Giving Tree

Founded in 1991 by two San Jose State MBA students this nonprofit organization envisions a world where giving brings joy, offers hope, and creates learning possibilities. Now over 30 years later this organization is the largest gift and backpack donation program in California.

Bring joy this holiday season with their grant a wish program. To fulfill the wish of a child, adult, or senior in need may not seem like much, but it's everything for someone who may not otherwise receive a gift. That single, specially chosen gift lets them know that someone in the community cares.

Creek Kids Care - Angel Project

Located in Walnut Creek, the Trinity Center is a non-residential program serving homeless and working poor adult men and women in Walnut Creek and Central Contra Costa County.

Each holiday season the Creek Kids Care program sponsors the annual Angel Project, during which a family/individual/group gets a wish list from a homeless community member and purchases gifts for this person.

Alameda County Food Bank

There are several ways to support the Alameda County Food Bank and the need is the greatest at holiday season! Whether it’s helping sort food at the

food bank or coordinating a food drive with your friends, family and neighbors. This is a great way to ease kids into the season of giving and gratitude.

Jewish Family & Community Services East Bay

Every December, JFCS East Bay’s Holiday Giving Program collects gift cards donated by our community and provides them to refugee and low-income families throughout Alameda and Contra Costa counties. Gift cards empower recipients to purchase the gifts or necessities they know they need, and can choose for their children.

Here are examples of the East Bay families and individuals served through this program:

• Newcomer refugee families from Afghanistan, now arriving in numbers never before seen.

• Immigrants and asylum seekers from Central America.

• Families and people of color with young children,

who already face inequities and are now being directly impacted by these tough economic times. • LGBTQ refugees and asylees, many from Africa and Latin America, who fled their countries because of persecution.

Hively Diaper Pantry

Obviously we are big fans of Hively and all they do for our local families here in Alameda County. For many of these families not having diapers affects their ability to get their children into daycare and in turn affects their ability to get to work. Get your kiddos involved by hosting a cookie decorating party and ask guests to bring an unopened package of diapers to donate to Hively’s Diaper Pantry!

The Hively Diaper Pantry provides low-income families with a one-month supply of diapers and diaper wipes. In addition, each family goes home with a children’s book and educational materials to support not only healthy bee-hinds, but healthy minds, too.

PRESCHOOL GUIDE

ANTIOCH

La Petite Academy

1350 E. Tregallas Rd., Antioch | (925) 779-0110 www.lapetite.com/your-local-school/antioch-ca-7223

Director: Lorna Hearn Ages: 6 Weeks to 12 Years. Infant/Toddler care now offered!

CONCORD

Bright Stars Learning Center

3036 Clayton Road | (925) 363-4933 brightstarslearningcenter@gmail.com

Director: Farideh Bavafa Ages: 2-6 yrs old

Bright Stars Learning Center provides a healthy, safe, and creative environment in which your child can develop physical, emotional, mental, and social skills.

Concord Preschool Program Centre Concord 5298 Clayton Rd | (925) 671-3404

Baldwin Park

2790 Parkside Circle | (925) 671-3118 www.cityofconcord.org

Director: Sarah Jackson Ages: 2-4 yrs old Our preschool program is a positive first school experience for the young child. We offer programs for two, three and four year olds. By the time they graduate, they will be ready for Kindergarten and be well on their way - with many fond memories of preschool.

DANVILLE

Dayspring School

989 San Ramon Valley Blvd. | (925) 389-2044 www.dayspringpreschool.org

Janice Inman MS.Ed, Director Dayspring Preschool offers a variety of high-quality full-time and part-time preschool/pre-kindergarten programs to meet the needs of busy parents. At Dayspring Preschool, we value the importance of play, the role it has in brain development, and in creating a love of learning for young children.

PRESCHOOL GUIDE

Diablo Hills Country School - Danville Campus

1453 San Ramon Valley Blvd. | (925) 820-8523

Director: Heidi Buechler www.diablohillscountryschool.com

One of DHCS’ primary goals is to provide a loving and homelike atmosphere where children can learn to become competent in every aspect of their lives. What sets DHCS apart from similar preschools in the area is that we have smaller size classrooms and low teacher-child ratios to provide an intimate and focused learning environment. Another asset that sets DHCS apart is that it is locally owned and operated for the past 30 years.

Garden Montessori School 495 Verona Ave. | (925) 837-2969 www.gardenschool.net Director: Jaye Perry Garden Montessori School is an enrichment-focused preschool and kindergarten preparatory program for children ages 3-6.

Peekadoodle Academy 2425 Camino Tassajara | (925) 736-7335 www.peekadoodle.com/danville Director: Christine Pezza Peekadoodle Academy of Danville offers both part time and school day preschool programs that foster independent and creative thinking through a balanced approach to learning.

St. Isidore Catholic School 435 La Gonda Way | (925) 837-2407

St. Isidore School is now providing a two-year kindergarten program. One year is transitional kindergarten and the second year is the standard kindergarten program. Students enter where it best fits for their age, academic needs, and social development. The transitional kindergarten program includes a developmental approach that prepares student for the kindergarten year. The focus is building literacy, math, and social development in a nurturing Christ-centered environment

DUBLIN

Valley Christian Preschool 7500 Inspiration Drive | (925) 560-6235 www.valleychristianschools.org

Infants, Toddlers, Totally Two’s, Preschool, Pre-Kindergarten, and Transitional Kindergarten, Half-Day and Full Day Programs

Quarry Lane - Dublin Campus 6363 Tassajara Rd | (925) 829-8000 www.quarrylane.org (Jr. Kindergarten to 12th)

EL SOBRANTE

East Bay Waldorf School 3800 Clark Road | (510) 223-3570 x 2107 www.eastbaywaldorf.org/newsandevents/tours.php

Enrollment Director: Pamela Hollings

LAFAYETTE

Diablo Valley Montessori School 3390 DeerHill Road | (925) 283-6036 www.dvms.org Director: Suzette Smith Now accepting applications for the 2014/2015 school year. Please call the school office at (925) 283-6036 to schedule a tour and classroom observation.

Michael Lane Preschool 682 Michael Lane | (925) 284-7244 michaellanepreschool@mail.com | www.michaellanepreschool.com Director: Kim Olson, M.S., Director At Michael Lane Preschool we learn to play and play to learn!! A play based program for learning through developmentally appropriate play.

Building Bridges Preschool 1003 Carol Lane | (925) 283-6792 www.buildingbridgespreschool.com Ages: 2years to 5years Providing an environment that is small and intimate with smaller class sizes and low teacher to student ratios. Committed to providing a communitive learning environment that is safe, nurturing, and creative. The program is designed to create a successful well rounded child with the ability to confidently cross many bridges into Kindergarten.

LIVERMORE

Valley Montessori School 1273 N Livermore Ave | (925) 455-8021 info@valleymontessorischool.com | www.valleymontessorischool.com Director: Lana Shartle Ages: 18 mo-8th grade Valley Montessori School educates the whole child and inspires a joyful pursuit of learning.

Holy Cross Lutheran School 1020 Mocho Street | (925) 447-1864 school@holycrosslivermore.org | www.holycrosslivermore.org

Director: Deanna Sullivan Ages: 2 yrs – 6 yrs old

Holy Cross Lutheran School serves children 2 years to age 5.9 years in a loving, developmentally/age appropriate environment. We believe that children learn best through active, hands on activities which focus on all areas of development. We offer both Full and Half day programs, with individual programs for threes, fours and Junior Kindergarten children. Young ones receive the individual attention one requires in the preschool years.

Primrose School of Livermore 2901 Las Positas Rd | (925) 215-7372 www.primroseschools.com/schools/livermore

Primrose Schools® is a national system of accredited private preschools that provides a premier early education and child

PRESCHOOL GUIDE

care experience for children and families. Our Franchise Owners, Leadership Teams and School Staff partner with parents to help build the right foundation for future learning and in life.

MORAGA

Creative Playhouse, Inc. 1350 Moraga Way | (925) 377-8314 www.creativeplayhouseinc.com

Director: Julieanna Wakileh Enrollment is year round. Please call Julieanna to schedule a tour. Spaces are limited.

PLEASANTON

Quarry Lane - Pleasanton West Campus 4444B Black Ave | (925) 462-6300 www.quarrylane.org (Preschool & Pre-kindergarten)

Quarry Lane - Pleasanton East Campus 750 Boulder St | (925) 846-9400 www.quarrylane.og (Infant through Pre-kindergarten)

The Early Years Children’s Center 1251 Hopyard Rd. | (925) 462-2202 www.earlyyearschildrenscenter.com

Director: Neeti Ghosh Ages: 2 yrs-5th grade

Our experienced staff and innovative programs provide your child with an exceptional learning experience. Whether enrolled in Preschool, Full Day Child Care, or Before & After School Care, your child will discover that learning is fun, while making friends. Our communities of families and teachers will partner with you in your child’s education.

Adventures in Learning 3200 Hopyard Road (On campus at Harvest Valley Church) | (925) 462-7123 www.ailpleasanton.com

Director: Lynne Allen

Primrose School Pleasanton

7110 Koll Center Pkwy, Pleasanton, CA 94566 | (925) 600-7746 www.primroseschools.com/schools/pleasanton

Balanced Learning is research-informed and combines the best thinking of renowned early learning philosophers like Montessori, Piaget, Gesell and Vygotsky along with modern wisdom from the latest child development studies. Research shows that introducing a skill when a child is truly ready leads to mastery instead of frustration.

SAN RAMON

Diablo Hills Country School - San Ramon Campus 50 Creekside Drive | (925) 831-1210

Director: Amber Pac www.diablohillscountryschool.com

One of DHCS’ primary goals is to provide a loving and homelike atmosphere where children can learn to become competent in every aspect of their lives. What sets DHCS apart from similar preschools in the area is that we have smaller size classrooms and low teacher-child ratios to provide an intimate and focused learning environment. Another asset that sets DHCS apart is that it is locally owned and operated for the past 30 years.

Gale Ranch Preschool 2200 Brookcliff Circle | (925) 648-1201 khansen@ymca-cba.org | www.ymca-cba.org Director: Kirsten Hansen Ages: 2 yrs – 6 yrs old

The YMCA’s preschool programs provide high quality, childcare with activities that provide the perfect blend of fun and learning for your children, allowing kids to be kids while ensuring that they’re ready to enter kindergarten.

Panache Enfants 2410 San Ramon Valley Blvd Suite 100 | (925) 549-2239 www.panacheenfants.com Director: Shilpa Panache or Jorie Robinson Ages: 6 weeks – 6 yrs

In French, the name literally means children with energy and a flamboyant, confident style or manner. At Panache Enfants, we want to partner with parents to create confident, strong children who can take on the world of elementary education by storm.

WALNUT CREEK

Grace Cooperative Preschool 2100 Tice Valley Blvd | (925) 937-3032 www.gracecooperativepreschool.com Director: Marlene L. Hall Ages: 2 yrs – 6 yrs old

Our school is a place where children learn though play. Our mission is to help children develop a positive sense of themselves by nurturing their inherent joys and energies. Through the creation of a supportive and challenging environment we develop their physical, social and cognitive abilities.

MULTIPLE LOCATIONS

Stratford School

Dublin | Fremont | Los Gatos | Milpitas | Morgan Hill

Palo Alto | Pleasanton | San Bruno | San Francisco San Jose | Santa Clara | Sunnyvale www.stratfordschools.com

Fountainhead Montessori School

Danville Campus Dublin Campus Livermore Campus Orinda Campus Pleasant Hill Campus www.fms.org

Jennifer Kelman is a mental health expert on JustAnswer, where she has provided online support to those in need since 2012. In addition to her work on JustAnswer, Kelman has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for more than 30 years and maintains a private practice specializing in relationships, parenting, and children’s mental health issues. She is also a children’s book author having written three books that delicately weave in themes of trust, vulnerability, and hope in her stories. Kelman has lectured extensively around the country and appeared on news and television programs covering a range of issues including relationships, parenting, bodyimage, eating disorders, and children’s mental health.

Navigating Toxic Family Relationships and Holiday Gatherings

by Jennifer Kelman, LCSW

Toxic families or toxic individuals within families are challenging to deal with, but things may feel even tougher during holiday get-togethers. While family issues may always be there, with everyone together in person during the holiday season, these issues can become even more apparent.

This family strife can be incredibly difficult to navigate and may cause extreme anxiety before the events knowing what may be in store. Throw a few toxic family members into a larger family group, and sparks are likely to fly.

Statistics show these issues are even more difficult for younger family members. A recent survey by JustAnswer shows that 70% of millennials (age 26-41) would cut one family member from the holiday celebrations if they felt they could do so without consequences. Only 18% of millennials say their annual family holiday gatherings are drama-free, compared to the 39% of Boomers and Seniors who said so.

Given the numbers, it is important to be able to recognize when your family members may be toxic and understand how to navigate these tricky issues.

How do I know if my family is toxic?

One of the first steps to managing these struggles is recognizing if your family is toxic and being able to accept that in order to decide how you can move forward. Sometimes, family members may not be aware that things are toxic as they may be so accustomed to these ways of relating and become locked into the dynamic. Families that are overly critical of one another or others display toxicity. It may be a common experience for toxic families to make fun of others, but the fun ends when that critical talk turns to you. Waiting your turn at the table to be in the line of fire can be anxiety-provoking.

Toxic families may use manipulation and passive aggressive behavior to get what they want. Communication is rarely straightforward, and you may sit there feeling lost and confused, wondering what just happened. Sometimes people are quick to react and snap after many years of this toxicity. These reactions are a form of post traumatic stress disorder from years of these patterns that create chronic trauma.

Often family members are so used to a toxic way of relating, they don't even see the toxic patterns. It is important to take a step back and pay attention to how you feel in order to gauge if something is off.

How can I navigate toxicity in my family during holiday gatherings?

1. Take a pause and a deep breath. When the tough dinner talk, negativity, critical talk, or unwanted questions begin, take a pause and a deep breath and remind yourself that engaging in it all, or trying to win the fight, rarely is helpful. If you know your audience, you can practice some self-talk in the moment such as, “I know they love to criticize me, but I gain nothing by trying to correct them, so I just won't respond to the critical things.” This bird's eye view, rather than stepping into the conflict, can help insulate yourself from feeling the attack. The attacks usually continue when you engage, so step outside the usual dynamic and disengage.

2. Stand up for yourself when you feel you should. If you feel you must say something, you might take the approach that sounds something like, “When you speak to me in such a critical way, it is hard for me to engage with you. I understand you have your views, but I don't share them.” That may provoke a reaction from the person you’re addressing, and if that happens, you can simply remove yourself from the room for a little bit to regain composure and prevent any further onslaught of attacks. It is usually the “fight fire with fire” approach that leaves one feeling frustrated and depleted. Don't bite; instead, simply repeat a mantra to yourself that puts some distance between you and the toxic way this family member is trying to relate.

3. Make the visit short or limit time spent when you do attend. If travel is involved, perhaps make it a short one or two-day visit. Consider booking a hotel to give yourself space in the mornings and evenings rather than staying with these family members. If family members are coming to see you, let them know they will need to book a hotel and offer a few options that are close by. There is nothing wrong with advocating for what you need around where you will stay. Be open and forthright about it all. For example, ‘I am so grateful that you have offered me a place to stay in the house, but I feel more comfortable at a hotel and feel it will give us all a bit more breathing room while spending this time together.” This may be met with some resistance but you can maintain that boundary and create the space that feels most comfortable.

4. Know it is okay to decline the invitation this time if you don’t feel you can set firm boundaries when you are there. Many are taught to just grin and bear it, but this isn't always the best strategy, as it may put you into harm's way. If you know the outcome of these events and you just aren't up for setting those firm boundaries around what you will engage in, it is okay to take a vacation from the toxic chaos. Toxic families have a difficult time with boundaries, so keep that in mind when you let them know you won’t be joining. There will be push back, so remain firm - any wiggle room and the toxicity wins.

Redding Garden of Lights

- Head North for Holiday Cheer -

by Elizabeth Kang

Looking for a fun and festive way to spend a family weekend getaway this holiday season? Head over the river and through the woods, and north a few hours on highway 5, to the Redding Garden of Lights — a stunning, magical display of holiday lights that’s sure to fill your family with holiday cheer.

The Experience

The Redding Garden of Lights event is now running through January 8th, and is on its third whimsical year. This stunning display takes place at Turtle Bay McConnell Botanical Gardens, and features over 100 million sparkling, dazzling, colorful lights. Designed by renowned light artist Tres Fromme, the Garden of Lights experience guides guests through winding pathways to ten acres of breathtaking light displays and immersive, festive art features. Guests explore artfully designed themes, such as Candy Land, complete with peppermint-scented air, and the Polar Palace, featuring a 30-foot igloo and a snow zone. Wander through amazing light tunnels, and glimpse larger-thanlife lizards, tortoises, and butterflies in the Australian Garden area. Children and adults alike will wonder and delight in the amazing display of twinkling lights, and festive holiday cheer.

Guests can opt to purchase holiday gifts, food vendor eats, and warm drinks — including hot cocoa, of course, and spiked apple cider for adults. Cozy up to the fire to roast marshmallows for s’mores and enjoy festive holiday music. Moses the Reindeer will also be making appearances, greeting and interacting with guests.

Newly added to the festive lineup this year is the Magical Mosaic, an area especially designed for children to explore. Here, they can delight in tiny playhouse villages with lighted windows, and children’s holiday music. Also delightful, at least to mom and dad, are the numerous and dazzling photo opts present throughout the display — perfect for getting that last-minute holiday-card family pic.

Tickets — $22 for adults, $15 children, seniors, and veterans. (Kids ages 0-4 yrs-old are free)

Where to Stay

The Sheraton Redding at Sundial Bridge is currently offering a special overnight Garden of Lights Package, which includes tickets for the Garden of Lights. The resort offers a delicious onsite restaurant and bar, a large, heated pool, and affordable, spacious accommodations. It also boasts a great location right next to Turtle Bay Exploration Park.

Conveniently located right inside the hotel, Mosiac Restaurant is a gorgeous casual dining restaurant with offerings that every family member will enjoy. Choose from lunch and dinner options such as brick oven pizzas, fresh salads, hearty pastas and local wine, while dining on the heated outdoor patio or cozy interior. Breakfast is just as delicious, with classic options such as french toast, Eggs Benedict, avocado toast, decadent chicken & waffles, and more.

Sheraton Redding Hotel at the Sundial Bridge

820 Sundial Bridge Drive, Redding, Ca 96001 866-912-4012 www.marriott.com

Redding Garden of Lights at Turtle Bay Exploration Park 530-242-3123

www.reddinggardenoflights.org

Parenting Expert, Best Selling Author, Keynote Speaker, Certified Positive Discipline Instructor and Mom

Tens of thousands of parents around the globe look to Amy McCready as their Parenting Expert of choice. Why? She’s been there. She gets it. She’s relatable. And she has the ANSWERS parents need in today’s chaotic world. Now a “recovering yeller,” Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time… The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling and The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic –A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an OverEntitled World.

You’ll also find Amy on television and online as a regular parenting contributor for NBC’s TODAY Show. She’s also appeared on CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Rachael Ray, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. She is a sought after keynote speaker and a trusted spokesperson for family friendly brands. Her most important role? Proud mom of two amazing young men. Follow Amy on Twitter @AmyMcCreadyPPS.

The Truth About Santa – and 4 Ways to Keep His Magic Alive

by Amy McCready

Amy’s Note: I know how personal Santa is to you and your family. My intention isn’t to pass judgment, encourage one belief over another, or step on any toes. For those of you that have introduced Santa to your kids, or are considering it, these are simply ideas to transition away from a storybook Santa–whenever the time is right–and embrace a lifetime of actionable kindness and generosity.

To millions around the world, the holiday season is incomplete without a jovial, resonant “Ho Ho Ho.”

Santa Claus isn’t just a Christmas icon. Various countries and cultures have adopted the concept of Kris Kringle and run with it.

Any belief in Santa is deeply personal and can be presented and discussed however parents and caregivers choose.

But if Santa has become part of your family’s traditions, there comes a time when kids learn who’s really making the gift list and checking it twice.

As is true with the majority of positive parenting strategies I teach, the most effective way to navigate conversations about Santa is to take a proactive approach.

So, while children are still whimsically wrapped up in Mr. Claus, here are tips to gently prepare them for the inevitable, big reveal.

Lay the “Christmas Spirit” Groundwork Early On

Many kids grow up entrenched in the idea of Santa. Babies are cuddled in his arms and toddlers sit on his giant, welcoming lap. Kids smile earnestly–or cry just as intensely–for the photo op.

From our earliest Christmases, we know the old man in red works wonders. He has reindeer and a sleigh that circumnavigate the globe in a day. He automatically knows who’s been naughty and nice. And, he’s the keeper of the most coveted gifts.

These visions of Santa make the holidays fun for kids and adults alike. The younger kids are, the more we can lean into these concepts and watch the wonder unfold.

However, as wonderful as it is to delve into the magic, we can also lay the foundation for a future, longer-lasting Santa. Even as we line our kids up for photos and create cotton-ball beards, we can gently redirect them towards his character instead of his toy sack.

This way, when kids soon discover that nothing short of time travel can transport a person to that many houses in one night, they’ll have the spirit of Santa to inspire them in new ways.

Before the truth comes out, here are a few areas to focus on…

Emphasize Santa’s Kindness and Hard Work

One day, Santa won’t be landing on powdery-white rooftops. He’ll be a next-door neighbor helping your

teenager shovel snow for the shared cul-de-sac.

Another day soon, Santa won’t be gobbling up cookies on coffee tables. He’ll be volunteering with your family at the food shelter on Christmas Eve.

Santa, in essence, can be anyone who works hard to make a difference.

The idea is, when we accentuate all the good things Santa does for people around the world, our kids can better comprehend the Christmas spirit : an attitude and moral code that can transcend all religions and traditions. It’s something your slightly older child will really be able to get behind.

In short, it’s never too soon to teach the true meaning of the holidays. When your kids’ visions of Santa and sugar plums are combined with true Christmas spirit, they won’t feel such a loss when the magic fades.

Once our kids understand the true spirit of Santa, it’s also important to…

Abandon Naughty and Nice (and an Emphasis on Material Gifts)

If we want to accentuate the Christmas spirit, it’s also time to deviate from “naughty or nice.”

While your kids are still young and believers in Santa, consider creating an environment where Santa doesn’t judge. An atmosphere that isn’t about give-and-take.

Naughty behavior isn’t acceptable around the holidays or any time of year. But that doesn’t mean we should promise gift rewards for commendable behavior — especially when kids are told that Santa and his elves monitor their behavior and actions non-stop.

Some kids latch on to Santa’s Big Brother tendencies to spy. Although he’s a lovable spy–the white-haired 007 type–it’s still discouraging, especially for kids who struggle with impulse control.

It may be awesome that Santa can do practically

anything, but it’s equally intimidating that he can see and hear everything

This sense of demoralization, especially for children who struggle to make appropriate choices, isn’t going to keep them from acting out less. In fact, it may increase bad behavior.

And any subsequent good behavior will be carefully calculated on earning back gifts.

Your kids will think, “If I don’t make Mommy and Daddy mad today, or most of the day tomorrow, I’ll probably still get my favorite gifts on Christmas morning!”

To be fair, it’s not really their fault–kids are practically trained to focus on what Santa will bring them each Christmas. But this sense of rewards, entitlement, and materialism is not what we want them focused on.

Using gifts as a ploy for good behavior may seem expedient and practical for parents. But it misdirects kids from the true meaning of the holidays. It also creates a power struggle and a scenario in which parents are unlikely to follow through (you’re probably still going to give them presents, aren’t you?).

It’s far kinder to find other ways to help our kids behave appropriately, and let Santa remain a jolly old elf.

Even after equipping your kids with long-term skills for better behavior, it can still be tough when they learn that Santa had nothing to do with any of it.

If you’re worried your child will feel deceived…

Explore Any Concerns About “Lying”

Sadly, it’s true; some kids are devastated when they read the fine print. They glom onto the fact their parents lied about Santa.

There’s no way to completely control how a child will react when learning who really delivers the presents.

However, it’s a less earth-shaking surprise when parents

regularly emphasize the tangible, real-world actions that bring Christmas cheer.

If Santa is the Christmas spirit, and the Christmas spirit is kindness in action, then maybe Santa IS real?

This could be the truth you choose to emphasize all throughout their Santa-believing days.

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of lying about Santa to your kids, then don’t. Omit more frivolous details, try not to emphasize them, or respond with questions like, “What do the stories say?” or “What do you think?” when your kids ask for answers. And don’t promote Santa at all if it feels disingenuous.

Instead, consider telling your kids that some parents play a game where they pretend Santa brings presents. Ask if they’d like to play too.

Teaching kids to love and to give through the concept of Santa Claus is always a choice. It’s your call whether–and how–to do it.

Now that you’ve laid the groundwork for the Santabelieving kid in your life, here are a few ways to gently spill the beans about Santa when the time comes (while still keeping the magic alive).

1. Emphasize the Freedom of Belief

The world is all the more fascinating with its eclectic traditions. And it’s truly a gift when everyone can celebrate the holidays in their unique, special ways.

Explaining that traditions and beliefs often vary by family helps kids transition to a new level of understanding of Santa Claus. They’ll learn there is more than one way to look at things. They can determine what they wish to see and what works for them.

But kids also need to understand their beliefs may not be held by others.

Viewing Santa through a black and white lens can lead to that “belief-system let-down” we prefer to avoid. When other kids present opposing views, or we, as

parents, pull back the curtain, we don’t want them to feel misled.

We want them to feel enlightened.

Reminding our kids that everyone chooses their beliefs–including how they choose to view Santa–leaves room for interpretation, wonder, and possibility.

2. Embody Real Magic

Once their eyes are opened to the truth, it’s easier for kids to let go of Santa when they discover he (or she) is already in the house.

Our actions and attitudes as parents can make the small things in life special, like focusing on things we’re grateful for and finding beauty everywhere.

Every day should be full of little bits of magic– real magic–and everyday heroism.

Start with music. Fill your car rides, bath time, and virtual schooling breaks with all the tunes that make your heart happy. Sing along, all year long! We don’t want Santa to be the only magical concept our kids encounter each year.

Because Santa lives for giving to others, show how you choose to give to others every day. It can be something small, like making cookies for a neighbor or just making dirty dishes disappear. Let your kids learn from your examples and help, too.

Santa also has a great work ethic. So, illustrate all the wonderful things that come from practice and effort. After a day organizing the house, hang new fairy lights in the living room to show how beautiful it can look.

Or, after patiently watching a YouTube video on cake decorating, show your kids how learning something new can be rewarding, pretty, and delicious!

And because your kids are growing up, one way to spin the Santa conversation in a positive and empowering way is to…

3. Label the New Information “Privileged Knowledge”

Many of us want to keep the idea of Santa alive as long as possible. We like witnessing the magic in our kids’ eyes. We hate to relinquish their innocence to a more complex truth.

But often, kids learn about Santa way before we’re ready to talk.

Maybe it was know-it-all Aiden telling the kindergarten class the North Pole is just an ocean of shifting ice. Or, your 8-year-old stumbled across the Claus costume in your husband’s corner of the closet.

How you manage interrogations from suddenly upset or curious kids depends on your wishes and beliefs. It could be time to reaffirm your stance, come clean, or simply shift gears.

But one possible conversation could go like this: “Lily–I know you’re upset about what Aiden said. While it wasn’t his place to tell you, he wasn’t lying, either. Now that you’re old enough, let me share some privileged knowledge with you.

Santa, in a big way, is always real. He may not glide the globe in a day, have a full-fledged workshop at the North Pole, or fill your stocking on Christmas Eve. But the idea of Santa reminds us all to think of others and to always give.”

Keep in mind, literal questions like “How can Santa come into our house when we don’t have a chimney?” may indicate your children are ready–and eager–for the truth. They’re likely at a high enough cognitive level to grasp deep, multilayered concepts, and they’ll gain confidence when their questions are respected.

We can always give kids the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their reasoning and their ability to cope with loss–even grief. They can handle it (and you can too).

With a little guidance, they can also handle the responsibility of keeping the truth on the down-low…

Keep Them From Divulging Santa Intel

Hopefully, your kids won’t feel the need to broadcast the privileged knowledge you’ve entrusted to them.

By harboring knowledge they’re now “grown-up enough” to process, they may even feel more important than ever.

Still, any conversation about Santa can end with a short caveat:

or negative. Instead, we can think of the realization as a beautiful “aha” moment.

This fresh, optimistic insight is the chance to pass the torch of kindness and generosity without extinguishing it. And, it’s a great way to counter all the excess and expectation of the holidays.

“I have confidence you’ll let your friends and siblings enjoy Santa’s magic a little longer. It was a special time for you, and it’s special for them, too.”

Kids are always encouraged when we express our confidence and faith in them. And they benefit greatly from open communication.

Regardless, kids might tattle about Santa to feel more important. Or, maybe they’re angry with an uncomfortable new reality.

We can help by expressing our empathy. The more kids feel validated for their big, complicated feelings, the less they’ll feel like invalidating the feelings of others.

Regular doses of encouragement and positive attention can also lessen any desire to divulge.

And, especially for younger kids, we can take a few minutes to practice conversations they might have with their friends or siblings, reinforcing how to not spill the beans.

Quite possibly the best way to ensure their lips stay sealed is to…

4. Light the Way to Santa-Hood

Breaking the news about Santa doesn’t need to be sad

This isn’t when childhood has to come crashing down. Instead, it’s when kids realize their parents–the ones who love them the most–are the true givers. It’s when they learn the holidays are about love and altruism–not about expecting, list-making, and judgment.

And if we want our kids to spread Christmas-like cheer all year long, invite them in to “play Santa” during this holiday season.

Let your older children take a bite out of the Santa cookies your toddler put out. Invite them to stuff stockings for their younger siblings. Encourage them to leave powdered-sugar boot prints on your driveway for Christmas morning.

Kids will soon catch on that the behaviors they see modeled in Santa Claus, and their own loved ones, are worth emulating–which means they have the power to become the jolly old elf himself.

Final Thoughts

It may feel like letting your kids in on the Santa secret is the end of something magical. But it’s really a wonderful beginning. Take this beautiful opportunity to tell your kids it’s their turn to embody the Christmas spirit.

It’s not just about passing out gifts on Christmas morning. It’s a special, lifelong chance to spread kindness and joy. And it doesn’t have to be wrapped.

We want them to feel fortunate to be a part of this– the true magic of the season.

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