Creative Nonfiction By Tess Lennon-Dorn
(Lennon-Dorn) Version #2 MS. SMITH - Late 30’s SAFFRON - 18, interpretive dance MONICA - 19, goth girl SHANE - 20, in a band, subtly undercuts everyone WINDMILL - 18, emo poet MIKE - 20, stoner LYNDSAY - 18, the freshman INT. CLASSROOM MS. SMITH Hello, class, and welcome to another day of Creative Nonfiction here at Columbia College. Please select one or two sentences you’d like to share from your journals. Who would like to go firWINDMILL I looked at the clouds, and saw a white dog. And then I realized, it wasn’t a dog. It was just the clouds, playing a slick sick trick on me. MS. SMITH Thank you, Windmill. NowWINDMILL Kind of like the trick life has played on you, Lisa. MS. SMITH It’s Ms. Smith. If life has played a trick on me, then I’m a magician. Saffron, please sit in your chai-SAFFRON Unless the rain forrest gets a chair, neither do I.
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MS. SMITH Okay well, that’s really kind ofSAFFRON Is a mystery the absence of a question? Or is an answer more of a mystery on its own devices? MS. SMITH Thank you, Saffron. The use of imagery was verySHANE I can, uh, drop my words into the proverbial journal change purse. MRS. SMITH Okay, Shane. Class, please pay attention to the effective imagery used in theSHANE I was actually getting ready to record with my band, "Apricot Sunrise", when this journal just sorta came to me. She saw me there, with her Adderall eyes and Marlboro lips. True love must wait, for the frog’s first kiss. MRS. SMITH Wow, Shane, some really strong use of poetic devices in there. Class, there was an effective use of imagerySHANE Hope I didn’t hit a nerve, Lisa, by reminding you of love. MS. SMITH Ms. SMI- I love love. I have a full life. LYNDSAY Mrs. Smith I thought this week we were supposed to focus on sentence structure? That’s what the syllabus says.
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MS. SMITH Yes, Lyndsay, that was the journal prompt, but-LYNDSAY Today I felt left out in class because I’m just a freshman. Sometimes I feel like in order to fit in at this school, you have to smoke drugs. MIKE Wait, cuz... do you have any? MS. SMITH We will not discuss drugs! Unless it is relevant to the piece being workshopped. WINDMILL Why, because of your drug addiction from a while ago? MS. SMITH I made a joke at a staff holiday party! And apparently a student journalist was just... THERE! So, I think we can all just get over MIKE I’m ordering Chinese, anyone want anything? MS. SMITH We are not getting Chinese. This is a class-MIKE I didn’t mean you, Lisa... We’ve all noticed you’ve been battling with Weight Watchers the whole semester. MS. SMITH Yesterday I could have had another mini granola bar, I had the points, but it was after 7p.m. so instead I just put on a tight belt and reminded myself of my goals. Do you call that a battle, or a victory? Because I call it-
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WINDMILL Neither? MONICA I’ll go. I’m in rage with the rage that’s raging inside me. Rage rage rage, chains, chains, chains. MS. SMITH Class, Monica effectively made use of repetition, which added emphasis. We’re now going to workshop Shane’s piece. Please get out your copy of his piece and your feedback for him. WINDMILL Well, first I have to commend you on the title, "In the pines, pining." SHANE Thanks, yeah it just came from the heart. WINDMILL Although, I’m sure the idea of "pining" was all too real for you, Lisa. MS. SMITH I actually enjoyed the piece veryWINDMILL I mean, that outfit suggests you’ve been hurting for awhile. MS. SMITH This shirt is Derek Heart. LYNDSAY You got it at K Mart, right? I have the sameMS. SMITH Where I bought it does not matter! MONICA I liked when you said, "And at night, in the pines, it was pure darkness." It reminded me of the darkness inside of me.
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SAFFRON I couldn’t actually read your piece due to the fact that I’m protesting sight, but from what everyone has said so far it sounds like you did a good job. MRS. SMITH Saffron, reading the piece is requiredMIKE Chinese should be here in like 20. MS. SMITH What did you notice about the use of imagery? Or other literary devices which were effective? LYNDSAY Well, personally I felt bad for you when you were describing rolling around in pine needles on the ground, until you bled and had to leave the forrest and go to the nearest Urgent Care. SHANE Yeah, I guess I was really trying to capture like... the pain. You know what I’m talking about, Lisa. MS. SMITH MS. SMI- It’s not bad being single! SHANE Oh, I was talking about your scoliosis. MS. SMITH I do not have scSHANE When I see you hobbling around, I just think wow, I’m so glad I’m not her. It’s inspirational, really. WINDMILL Yeah, Lisa. Instead of just giving up, you drag your limp body out of bed each day, brush your dry hair
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WINDMILL out of your face, and show up to this menial job and try your best, however mediocre your best may be. MS. SMITH I just did a deep moisture hair mask! How can you say that- You know where I was last night? T.G.I Fridays. I just felt like it, so I went. I’m spontaneous. MIKE You didn’t go alone, right? MS. SMITH I did go alone, and let me tell you the endless appetizers are-MIKE They’re actually called bottomless apps. MS. SMITH There’s another point where Shane used very effective imagery. Shane, would you read the last two sentences of your piece? SHANE It was actually meant to be sung. I’m just a wanderer, carrying my mind in my guitar-case. Drifting, slowly, toward inevitable dust. MS. SMITH See, in these last few lines, there was effective imagery in the-SAFFRON Can you turn the lights off? It would feel more equal that way. MS. SMITH Saffron... no. LYNDSAY Mrs. Smith, I’m pretty sure you’re violating like six rules from the disability handbook.
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WINDMILL Oh, Lisa, don’t get angry, you look like a rotting jack-o-lantern when you’re angry. SHANE I mean we know that you’re missing some teeth. It’s why you slur so badly. MS. SMITH I have excellent enunciation! I recently had some dental work done, so my gums have been slightly sensitiveMONICA Okay, we’re not like your therapists. CNF - 8 SHANE Lisa needs group therapy, but like where the whole group is her therapists. MS. SMITH Shane, that doesn’t even exist. LYNDSAY I’m sure it does, at rehab centers. MS. SMITH I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been. WINDMILL Didn’t you have to go when your drug addiction was discovered? MS. SMITH Again, I made a joke at a teacher holiday party! LYNDSAY You’re twitching... MS. SMITH Goddamnit, Lyndsay! You’re so stupid, I hope you get pregnant on an airplane. You know, I wanted to be an actual writer. An actual, published writer. The only place I
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MS. SMITH get published is MY OWN BLOG. And I just wanted to get through this class in a calm, organized fashion. But you all had to ruin that for me, you marshmallowy little fucks! MIKE Chinese is here. Be right back.