The Time I Almost Did Acid

Tess Lennon­Dorn The Time I Almost Did Acid This is the story of the time I almost did acid. My first job was at a coffee shop when I was eighteen. Everyone else who worked there was way older and way cooler than me. They were all artists and actors and musicians. They all looked hot in hoodies. They were too good for bars, and instead liked to hang out at artsy private parties. I desperately wanted to be invited to one of these extremely cool hangouts with these extremely cool people. Particularly with the hot vegan who I had a huge crush on. He was rude and self­centered, and I thought he was perfect.

When these social plans were made in front of me at work, I would try and shift or change my expression, anything to make myself more apparent. It never worked. Until one day.

Three of my coworkers were planning to go out of town for a Halloween costume party at a refurbished farm in Michigan. It was this one clique consisting of the hot vegan, another vegan who was also hot but a little crazy, and a third vegan who was just totally crazy.

They were hanging around at work discussing it, and I was there. I didn’t think they even knew I was there or cared, when the hot vegan just came right out and asked me, “do you want to come?” And I was like…”yeah”. Trying to act like it was very whatever. He then told me that they were going to do acid at the party, and asked if I was cool with that, and if I wanted to try it.

And I said, “Yes.” I knew nothing about acid. Except that I had never done it and was scared of it. They knew I had never done it, and thought that was kind of cute and funny. They were the type of

Lennon­Dorn, 2 people who regarded acid with the casualty and openness about consumption that most people do of wine. Like it’s no big deal, they do it on a Tuesday.

The closer it got to the trip, the more nervous I was about doing acid. I was scared that all the sudden I wouldn’t want to and they’d think I was lame, like they already thought. This was my chance to do something cool, and now I was questioning if I could even do it.

So the hot vegan, the crazy vegan, the hot and crazy vegan, and me boarded the bus. I didn’t consider the effect these three being druggies would have on their inability to plan a trip. I made the jump of assuming they had secured somewhere for us to sleep that night. When this casually came up on the way there, they said they, “Knew a few people in Michigan”, and figured one of them would probably let us crash. They just didn’t necessarily know who that person would be. What was the rush?

They also hadn’t thought about how we would get from the party back to where we were staying. It would be hard to since we didn’t even know where that was. I don’t know why I thought their sense of time or desire for concrete plans would be any more existent on vacation than in their day­to­day lives.

Instead, in the true spirit of vegan twenty­somethings, they got off the bus in their dirty tank tops and just started wandering around. They didn’t like plans or reservations or showers. I think they felt these things interrupted “the flow”.

Lennon­Dorn, 3 So we’re at the party. It’s big and open, and full of people dressed in elaborate costumes.

Everyone went all out which was so touching and inspiring to me. It’s beautiful to see people put their best effort into something. The downstairs level was fun and artsy, but upstairs, it got weird.

The main rooms had smaller bands, bitter not to be featured downstairs, with people standing around drinking. There were more side rooms with even smaller bands, and more and more weird shit. We weren’t the only ones who had thought of doing acid at this party.

So we’re standing there in a crowd when the hot and crazy vegan pulls out the acid. I had never seen it before. For those of you who have never seen it either, you know Chicklets? That gum from the 90’s? Well it kind of looks like a line of stuck together, slightly melted chicklets.

So she gives each of us our two tabs. They all did theirs, and while they were turned away, I had a moment where I thought wait a minute. What am I thinking? I don’t know where I am, I don’t know how to get home, and the only people I know here are about to be totally out of it. Plus, the main reason I wanted to do it in the first place was so they’d think I was cool and I didn’t have to actually do it for them to think I did.

So in the split second when they weren’t looking, I dropped mine on the floor. And it was gone, and they thought we were all tripping. The next day they were all way impressed with me and were like, “Wow. You did great for your first time” And I was like…”Thanks”. I could have admitted it to them, but I didn’t. I didn’t see the point. The truth is, I was never actually cool enough to hang out with them. I shower and have a day planner and check my email. I’m always

Lennon­Dorn, 4 on time. I eat dairy. It’s just a different life. After that trip we all hung out once in awhile, but I knew I would never really feel like a part of their group. I’m a geek at heart, and geeks don’t wear carefully tattered shirts and do yoga at the beach after it’s closed. We constantly make plans and then worry about them not working out.