NEWS @ NENE
Autumn 2013
Nene Valley Chapter
Chapter No. 9946
DIRECTORS DRIBBLE
Autumn 2013
Welcome to Septembers edition of News at Nene. As we head into September it is a good time to reflect on the rides that have been put on through the last few months, and successfully planned and marshalled by our Road Captains. There have been a number of rides, catering I hope for everyone in the Chapter, be it short rides, long rides, weekends away, trips abroad, camping trips and rallies, both in the UK and further afield. On the subject of rallies, after cancelling our own rally last year, which we have done on one previous occasion, I think we came back with a bang. The formula for a successful rally has to have the following boxes ticked: Good venue Good food Good entertainment Good weather And fun. I think over the weekend we ticked all of those boxes except at times for the weather, but that was the only thing we had no control over. I hope you all enjoyed it and I thank personally the Rally committee for all their hard work in putting on a rally that was friendly, chilled and a bloody good laugh. THANK YOU
as some good photographs. I was keeping an eye on the Stelvio Pass webcam before I left to make sure there wasn’t too much snow on the top. On 5 th October it will be the 6 th Ride to the Wall so hopefully there will be a few members attending, and hopefully I will get the chance to catch up with you on the day. Until next month ride safe and savour those memories. Martin.
The date is already pencilled in for next year, same weekend as this year, and if the new showers are of a similar standard to the rest of the venue it is just going to enhance the location. I think 200 people was about the right number, maybe increase it slightly if the demand is there but all in all a great weekend and I’m looking forward to many more Nene Valley Chapter Rallies at the Rugby club. Might need to look at the fancy dress a bit closer as there were far too many guys comfortable in ladies attire, and even one guy, RKS, who looked very comfortable in high heels. On 24 th August I put the Prison Run back on which we haven’t done for 5 years. Although the forecast didn’t look that good we managed to stay dry. 7 bikes went over and hopefully they enjoyed themselves. Dependant on the feedback from work I will arrange it again for next year and put it in as an official ride. By the time you read this I will be nearly back from European Bike week in Faker am see which hopefully will be as good as previous years, being the 110 th anniversary of HD I’m sure it will be. There will be 15 bikes going down so hopefully there will be some interesting stories to tell on our return, as well
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Editor’s View Point
Autumn 2013
Well – the schools are back and summer will soon be over – but what an August we have had. After missing out on a rally last year Nene Valley came back with a vengeance in 2013. What a great weekend and a massive thanks and congratulations to the all of the Rally Organising Team and those who helped with set up and pull down over the weekend. However……. I have one complaint…. Why on Friday night when all the photos of those arriving were being displayed, was I the only one in full wets and rain pouring down in the background. Every other shot had the rider in full sun !!! Madam Sec. is still off the booze – only one beer the whole of Thunder in the Glens !! and as for Paul Whiting…… will he ever look at a glass of JD again ?! Finally, it’s amazing the power one can suddenly possess over the ladies when walking around with a cane in your hand. Not sure how many bottoms I got to smack but as you will see under Mikey’s Natter, he got a good Rodgering from the Head Master. In readiness for a busy month in August I had Vixen serviced by those good guys up at Robin Hood. Having left the keys Madam Sec. and I took the bus into town for a wee look round but when we got back there was a lot of smerks and comments like “we won’t charge for the removal of your passenger”…. It seems I picked up an extra passenger – probably on my previous outing to Skeggy on the seaside run – a small bird DEAD (looked like a sparrow) jammed in between the frame and the regulator …. See photo taken by Steve the tech before removal The Fosters (Ian & Gill) had a little outing recently supporting their local school and had a surprise guest sit on their new CVO yep Pudsey. It was Charity Assembly at Race Leys Junior School today; celebrating all the charity fundraising they have done over the school year. Pudsey came along to thank them in person fortheir 20th Children in Need. Apparently, Pudsey doesn't ride motorcycles so he opted out of the offered ride afterwards! Wuss
We had a great weekend following our Old School rally. After a couple of days at home chilling we were off to Thunder in the Glens. We split the journey up this time, stopping off for lunch on the shore of Lake Windermere, and over nighting in Moffatt where we met up with Jedi & Pasty, Looch & Ange. It’s really neat being able to lock your bike away in an individual secure bike shed (even though the garden is secure). Bumped into Rod Saunders there and at the rally (he has the exact same CVO as you Ian/Gill). Can’t believe he is 70! We took a scenic route up via Killin and Loch Tay to Aviemore. Not a drop of rain either day !!! In fact I managed not to wear any waterproofs all weekend (but did get a bit wet in the drizzle that can came down for part of the ride out Saturday – hence the rain drops in the vid – check out the website). Our Sunday ride over to Spean Bridge and Glenfinnan was beautiful, full sun and very warm. Madam Sec. and I headed back on our own Monday crossing the Forth Bridge and riding down the A7 and A68 to Darlington. These are superb roads – especially when the sun is shining – but it takes a long time. We left Aviemore at about 09:30 and arrived home 20:00 Just in case you have missed it – it’s Come Ride the Dragon II in April 2014. There are 2 rooms left if you are interested. Email or phone me if you want one. I hope the group who went down to Faaker See in Austria had a great trip and we look forward to feedback & photos of the trip in the next issue of N@N Finally, if you have come across a few Tosser’s in your time….. well now there is an award for it – no really. Check this out sent to me by The Organ Grinder. Printed in the Purbeck News, Swanage (July issue) Cheers
Chris Lapsley, “Slow Hand” Editor Last date for contributions to the October Edition :
END SEPTEMBER 2013 email :- nenevalleyeditor@btinternet.com or phone me on 07709 205571 or 01455 450463
Nene Valley HOG Chapter (Editor) PO Box 9277 LEICESTER LE9 OBT
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Ladies of Harley Officer
Autumn 2013
Who’d believe it’s September already? Where did the summer go? It’s not been a bad one though, with a lot going on and some rides were in really hot temperatures; so much so that I had some concerns about my bike. It didn’t seem to be running very smoothly so I booked it in to Northants V Twin to be checked over. Someone called Steve answered the phone (though he never let on it was our very own Reverend Steve Harris and let me believe it was just someone with a very good memory who knew all about me!) Anyway I arrived with the bike the following week (slapped Steve about a bit) and it was taken out for a test ride and duly returned with the verdict of nothing wrong (a relief as I’m stony broke). The possible explanation was just that it had been so hot and the air cooled engine wasn’t coping – I just need to ride faster! We also had a very enjoyable rally and although lots of people have posted thanks to the organising team on the website, I would just like to reiterate that all their hard work paid off and I’m certain it will be 100% verdict of 100% success. At the end of this month I am hoping to see a good number of you coming along on the ride to Lacock. Mike Wakelin is leading this one for me; Mikey and I will be tailing. The route is fairly direct as it is a couple of hours to get there and I would like everyone to have time not just to eat but also for a look round this National Trust owned village that is like stepping into history. Set in rural Wiltshire, Lacock village is famous for its picturesque streets, historic buildings and more recently as a TV and film location; the TV series “Cranford” and “Larkrise To Candleford” were filmed there among many others. There is also Lacock Abbey to see although this will be difficult to fit in, in the time. You could always return another day to visit this; it is worth it and again has been used in the filming of parts of “Harry Potter”
Among other things to see it houses the Fox Talbot Museum, a museum of photography commemorating the achievements of a former resident of the Abbey, William Henry Fox Talbot (180077), inventor of the negative/positive photographic process and whose descendants gave the Abbey and village to the Trust in 1944. Take care Jan
CREAM TEA RIDE – HENLEY SUNDAY 15th Sept
Back by popular demand... A ride to the beautiful Henley Management College for a wander and rest in the grounds, with cream tea and cakes for all (its free!!!!!) Ride will be leaving Jacks at 11.00 am getting to the college for 12.30 and stopping a good couple of hours before heading home and finishing the ride at the Garage at Baynards Green. For the last couple of years the weather has been fantastic so fingers crossed for another beautiful Sunday ride This ride is also known for seeing red kites.... Come on you know you want to....
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Mikey’s Natter It seems loads has happened since my last natter and the weather has been amazing. The first big event to write about was the Iron Butt Challenge that myself, Colin Bernard, Gary Palmer, Mike Wakelin did, ably led by Mike Sharp. It was a really good experience and though you might not believe me we all enjoyed it, I am sure you have heard by now but we did all 28 dealerships and beat the current record time by 15 minutes and currently hold the record of completing it in less than 2 hours of the allotted time given. We also raised over £500 for Keech. We have also had the rally this month, wow, what can be said that already hasn't been said. A damn good rally and ride out given by Nene Valley. I did get 10 of the best off the headmaster for giving Geordie nectar to school girls behind the bike sheds and I thought I could get away with it when a busty little girl said if I gave her a packet of fags she said she would show me her titty's Well the tale of the black number plate still continues. Once I was stopped I was given 28 days to pay and sent off a cheque for £60 to Cheshire police. I then got a Christmas card!!!! from Bedfordshire police saying cough up £90.00 we know who you are and you owe Cheshire ...so this time I was on the blower and paid my £90.00 over the phone, only to find out two weeks later they had my original cheque and here is your £90.00 back. It was all very confusing how does being stopped by one force lead to be chased for money by another... God only knows The O2 ride out leads to another tale, the Ambassador and the resident expert of riding in the smoke, who was leading, drops out with a frozen shoulder (which he is suffering with by the way). The wife pops up I’ll get us there...I didn't do 30,000 business miles for nothing. The day of the ride out she gets a migraine and ends up in tears, so with 2 hours before kickoff it’s the post code in the sat nav. We get there only to
July Special 2013 find car park 1 closed, car park 2 full, with the barrier across. Car park 4 had a half barrier with enough space for a bike to squeeze past. There were also metal gates in the motorbike area and 2 Honda 50's parked the wrong way, where you could get 4 Harley's; needless to say they were moved discretely at least it was free parking. We then went to the British Music experience and then to TGI.s. It was easier navigating to the 02 than it was finding your way around the music experience. What I do know is going across the Woolwich ferry and looking up the Thames was memorable, and hearing everyone's engines rev through the Blackwall Tunnel was great. It had to be done. I even got to stand on my back pegs. Sorry it's becoming a habit, reminds me of being a naughty schoolboy again... “Michael what you doing at the back of the class, Michael sit down”.
On a serious note, we still have a lot to look forward to. Many of you are off to Fakker See, ride safe and have a great time, especially up, down and round the Grossglockner and the Stelvio Passes. Did you see they were number 3 and 1 in the top 30 rides in the HOG magazine. Becks also has her Henley cream tea ride ( Tal loves it), watch the web for more info and there are plenty of other events to keep you out of mischief. May this lovely weather continue. Ride safe and have fun. Mikey HRC The Chapters at its best when it rides
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NV Gallery – Old School Rally
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NV Gallery – Old School Rally
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NV Gallery – Old School Rally
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Riding the Passes
Autumn 2013
I have heard a lot about the various Mountain Passes and on my recent tour to Austria planned to take in several including the Großglockner and Stelvio. For many riding such roads is the pinnacle of biking and having now done a few, thought I would share my thoughts on these with you as they may not be what you were expecting. So first the High Alpine Road that is the Großglockner. This road is a Toll road and cost us €23 each for a day pass. You can get combined tickets that include other toll roads at the same time but the one we wanted to include, the Felbertauern tunnel, was not available as the tunnel was closed. First point to note when they close a road in Austria the detour can be many miles long ! The road up the Großglockner is well surfaced and wide and though there are barriers at the side – stone posts, I was disappointed that for a road often used by loads of bikers there was not a biker safe barrier. Now we went up on a quiet Monday morning – I would hate to be there when it is busy! There is all manner of machines making the climb. From sports bikes to racing cyclists, classic sports cars, old (and I mean old) scooters with trailers and when we were there a whole host of bubble cars plus of course coaches; all trundling up. There is no issue with passing all these vehicles and there are plenty of places to stop and admire the view on the way. Now you have two major visit points. The Edelweiß Peak at 2577m has a short, steep, cobbled! road up to a viewing platform. Though it is cobbled they are very smooth and in the dry no problem. The hairpins on this stretch are tight but you have good visibility so if need be wait while the Camper van negotiates it first! The second one is KaiserFranzJoseph Hohe. Here you can see the Glacier and enjoy large catering facilities. They even have a special bike only park. Now on to the Stelvio, the highest pass in Italy.
This was not what I imagined at all. Yes it was beautiful scenery and on the day we went the sun shone but …… I did not enjoy it. We tackled the Stelvio from the South East (Prato allo Stelvio) which means you go up the 40, 50, 80 nope lost count of the hairpins. My issue with climbing this pass is; as you approach each hairpin you have to first make sure no idiot sports bike is not trying to under/overtake you so you can concentrate on the bend. As you need both sides of the road to complete your turn you move to Left or Right side as appropriate. Now with the bends being acute and with a highish stone wall you cannot see round before you commit. But concentrate on going round, in 1st, keep it from falling and be prepared to hoist to upright if need to stop which I had to do only once. After the bend up to second, direct the pack of sports bikes past you and on to next bend where you repeat it all again. This seems to go on for ever. (Nice professional pic of me though) I know Harley’s are quite big but when I was there everyone, sports bikes, cars, cyclists all needed both sides of the road at each bend. If you could be sure you would not meet anyone then it would be ok. Of course good views from the top and great opportunity to share your thoughts with the other bikers. This one is not for the feint hearted. If in doubt I suggest you tackle the pass from Bormio and go back down that way. Coming down from the Stelvio I planned to hang a right and take in the Umbrai pass – highest in Switzerland. I am now concerned. At the hotel the previous night we were talking of doing the Stelvio – ok, but when I mentioned the Umbrai as well the other bikers were aghast. “ Is not safe, no barriers, not tarmacked .. “ But am I one to falter …. No. Now I actually preferred the Umbrai. Yes there were no barriers but this gave you the ability to see what was coming round the hairpins in advance and yes there was about a mile of road that was just hard packed dirt but this was no problem. Interesting the pass we did after this, the ‘Offen’pass was a delight with bends that you could attack at speed and nice wide road. Just shows you never know which one you will prefer so make sure you get plenty of variety. John Nicholas PS. Now I know most of you are aware that I am the scrooge of mpg, just to say that over the 1800 miles we did including the high mountain passes and motorway back I averaged 61.2 mpg. Not bad for a 12 year old carburettor tractor.
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The Iron HOG Challenge – 26th-28th July 2013
Autumn 2013
And so it Begins! The plan was conceived after reading about members of Guildford Chapter having made up a challenge to ride to at least four designated HD dealerships in the UK within 48hrs. Extra dealerships would earn you a time bonus of 30 minutes each plus 30 mins for each of the original four. Therefore, if you include all 28 UK dealerships (not counting Northern Ireland) you get a total time of 60 hours. Hmmm, 28 dealers in 60 Hours. Why the hell not? If you want a job doing well ask a busy man. Mike Sharp, now there’s a busy man. ‘Sharpie’ I says, ‘what about 28 dealers in 60 hrs’. ‘We can do that’ he says, and within a week had drawn up a plan, route, hotels and schedule. We’re on, As a bloke, Gary Palmer is fantastic and a great mate but he has the attention span of a peanut, (more later) but we didn’t need his attention just his company. He was up for it and rooms were booked at Premier Inns for Friday and Saturday nights. (I had my own room because I guessed that after lots of hard riding, sharing with someone that snores would lead to murder) I am at work one day and gets a phone call from a Mr Ivers. ‘You know this Iron thingy your doing’ ‘Yes’ ‘What is it exactly’ ’28 dealerships in 60hrs mate’ ‘Only I am on holiday and I thought I might come’ ‘Oh’ ‘You still there?’ ‘Yes mate’ ‘Is there any space in your room for me, I will sleep on the floor or top to toe if you like, I don’t mind’ ‘I am sure we can arrange something’ (PANIC) ‘Whatever you do, don’t tell Becky’ (15 Mins Later) ‘I’ve got a room for Friday at the same hotel and one near your’s for the Saturday, Oh, and Colin Barnard is coming as well ‘cos he’s up for it too. Oh, and don’t tell Becky.’ ‘Oh! Ok. Whatever, Look forward to it’ And that’s how three became Five and Mikey got a black eye from Becky.
From here on in, it’s all a bit of a blur. The first bit was easy, get up at 5.00am, ride to Peartree services, Oxford. Meet up with the others, fill up with fuel, get a timed receipt and get to Oxford HD. The sun was out, well it was by 7.00am. The lads arrived with the sun glinting off Sharpies chrome and Gary’s helmet. We arrive at Oxford to find Mr Ringer there, does the man never sleep! Mikey, bless him, lifted his visor to reveal a pair of broken glasses with one lens missing. Not just sunnies but proper prescription vary lenses, leaving him with one covered dark eye and one clear eye. He rode like that nearly all the time; that may account for a lot! Photo’s and goodbye’s and we’re off to Bristol. We travelled at the speed limit everywhere we could and where we couldn’t we went faster. Bristol was just open when we arrived and a nice man took our photo’s and stamped our sheet then away. Plymouth was fuel and a bit of a blur then away again. Bridgewater was next and again in, pee, stamp, photo, gone. Next was the fly in the ointment, Swansea. It wasn’t there when I thought of doing this, now it’s 2hrs there and 2hrs back on a very busy, speed camera festooned motorway. A bit of filtering amongst the traffic got us through and at least the sun stayed out. And so the day went on, Swansea to Cheltenham, then Birmingham at rush hour, Wolverhampton was still very busy and located right in the back streets. Time was getting on as we pushed north to Stoke and the sun started to set. Then Chester in the dark. We all stopped at the services around 11.00pm and stuffed our faces with burgers and KFC (ain’t motorway services crap) and finally Preston HD at Midnight. We pulled up at the hotel just after midnight and woke everyone up. 720 miles from Oxford plus the 40 miles from home 760 miles today. Ouch! Time for bed, Gary shared with Sharpie, Mikey shared with Colin and I had my own double bedded room, Ahhhhh. Quick shower and sleep. Riiiiinnnnnggggg! 5.00am, my alarm. Bugger! The plan was to be on the bike for 6.00am. The sun was just getting it on and the day looked like a good one. Today would start with the long haul North to Glasgow. The temperature was ok low down but as we got up by the lakes and started to climb it dropped a lump. I can honestly say that riding on an empty
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The Iron HOG Challenge – 26th-28th July 2013 motorway on a Harley in the sun with your mates through the Cumbrian mountains and the Scottish Lowlands is one of the best things ever. Breath taking. Contrary to what I said earlier, Tebay services was a joy. Hot tasty breakfast, Bacon, Sausage, eggs, mushrooms, etc, etc. plus Haggis, freshly shot on the hillside the previous day, all for under a tenner. Sharpie was a bit jaded after eating late yesterday but a bit of breakfast and sunshine helped him buck up and soon we were off again for fun in the sun. Apparently it’s not only the Welsh Fuzz that don’t like anything with wheels, The Scottish don’t like them either. Speed trap after speed trap. Unmarked cars, marked cars, coppers hiding behind signs, every bloody where. No wonder there’s so much crime in Scotland, they are all out nicking motorists! Luckily, we had calmed down after a bit of breakfast and were only plodding along at 70mph (ish) Ah Glasgow in the sunshine, still looks like it does in the rain only drier. Having said that, the Glasgow dealership were just the best. Three girls, ladies, whatever the PC term is now, made us tea, gave us goodies, took our photo’s, shook our hands, had a laugh and wished us well. A lesson for other dealerships me thinks. Glasgow to Edinburgh was nice and I then led from Edinburgh to Newcastle. Again, what a fantastic road down the East coast against the sea, on a par with the way up I would say. Newcastle. What can I say! NooCAssl in Mikey speak. Talking of that, we stopped at some services just inside the city and I swear Mikey never stopped talking for the whole ten minutes we were there. ‘Why eye pet, they dooont spek the lingoo like uss ehh. Bluddy greeet tooo bee back hum’. WHATEVER MIKEY, JUST GET ON YOUR BLOODY BIKE AND SHUT UP!! He said ‘follow me’ and promptly took the wrong turning. Ha Ha. Friendly lot at Newcastle HD. Well I think they were, I didn’t understand a word they said. Rain had been forecast for late afternoon and we saw the sky
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darkening as we approached Scotch Corner. We stopped and got wet gear on, rode in the rain for two minutes then stopped for a quick lunch. The rain stopped as quick as it started but we rode to Leeds in wets just in case. Both Mikey & Colin looking like a pair of council workmen in their orange and black suits. Leeds was closed, not the city, just the dealership. The day was getting on and still lots to do. Lots of photo’s and filling in of forms but ok because it’s dried up! I led down to Chesterfield and we did the photo thing again. Lincoln was ok to get to then we turned west and that’s where the problems started. I had my wet top on just because it was cooling down but there was no real sign of rain. We headed towards Nottingham and it got blacker and blacker as the sun went down. (I know, it’s called night time, ha ha ) It started outside Nottingham and boy did it rain. I was leading and only had leathers on. Very wet arse and hard to see. I was looking for shelter to get kitted up. Nothing anywhere so pulled into a hotel and we tried to put wets over wet trousers. The ride into Nottingham was not much fun, nor was trying to get up on the pavement and take photo’s, fill in forms and get away safe. How many riders can you get in a doorway? Still lots to do today, We had to get from Nottingham to Uppingham in awful weather. I led the group at about 30 – 40 mph looking through a gap between my glasses perched on the end of my nose and my visor pulled down a bit. I had to put a bag on my sat nav because it doesn’t like the rain so had to read that through plastic. It was hot and very wet. Everything steamed up and car lights made it impossible to see through any eye covering so I went open face, but slow so it didn’t hurt my eyes. Nottingham to Uppingham in the sun is a great road. In the rain its crap. Twists and turns, hills and bends. It eased as we got to Uppingham and did the business at Sycamore. Sharpie took over from there because my old sat nav didn’t recognise the post code. It was all a bit tense for a while as we rode on to get to the hotel in Huntingdon. Arrived about 12.30am Sunday, Mikey and Colin rode on to their digs a few miles away. Bed after a shower and running the hair drier over my gloves. I left the fan running blowing on my trousers and gloves all night in the hopes they might dry. 30 seconds after my head hit the pillow the alarm went off. Bugger, 5.30 already. Tea and a banana and outside to sort
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The Iron HOG Challenge – 26th-28th July 2013 the bike. The rain had gone and the wind had picked up a bit. Sorted out the bike and myself. Packed thing away and threw away all the bottles and papers we gathered yesterday. My leathers had dried as had my gloves although I had blue hands off the dye. Sharpie looked refreshed after half a nights sleep. Gary looked as though he had been shot from a cannon but perked up later after a hand full of nurofen and pro plus. Mikey arrived, far too cheery for his own good, with Colin who seemed none the worse after a night with Mikey. Newmarket is a very nice town, full of horsey things and smelling of money. We woke them up with the sound of the Iron Horse as we visited Black Bear HD for the photos. Sunshine and good riding with Sharpie leading the way to Norwich via all the bloody roadworks. Norwich was hard to find and shut. Typical. Good ride down to Lakeside HD just before the Dartford crossing. Some proper fast riding on single carriageway roads. Lots of fast passing and jinking through traffic and lorries. Lakeside HD. Joy oh Joy, a burger van and people and a toilet. Heaven. Nice lot at Lakeside. We spent a few minutes having a bun and tea and chatting in the sun with the local chapter who were just off on a ride out. Maidstone was over the river so we filtered all the way over the bridge through miles of traffic. Some helpful and moved over and others that closed the gap. Bastards. Oops, mind that mirror. Maidstone was closed but it was ok because the sun was out and we were getting it done. Down to Shaws HD in Lewes on a run that seemed to go on for ever then a good run to Warrs in Mottingham. Nice rep there, Alex. Open invite to join a rideout anytime we liked. Photo, paperwork and off. London at mid day, yummy. Hot, people, cars and bloody traffic lights all on red. It seemed to take for ever to get to Warrs on the Kings road but get there we did. That was shut as well. Typical. On to the final stages now, Guildford with some proper riding and on towards Southampton. It looked a bit wet and a short shower convinced us to put on wets again. Nothing really came of it but this time but we were ready for it. At Southampton we were met by Gary’s son who brought us a can each to celebrate doing all 28. Now all we had to do was get back to Oxford by 10pm. Easy peasy. Sharpie pointed out that if we got there by 8.00pm we would beat the last team that had
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done all 28 by 15 mins so that was it. Mikey practically pushed us out of the car park and the ride up the M3 A34 was at warp 9. Take no prisoners. Fuel at Abingdon to get a time stamp (a pee for me as the beer went straight through me, much to the disgust of the others who were waiting engines revving) and another blast to Oxford to arrive at 7.57pm. That’s it, we did it. 59hrs and 57mins (to be confirmed) to ride 1891 miles plus the 40 there and the 40 back. Nearly £200 in fuel and £100 on hotels and grub. Bloody great! Best £300 for ages. There are a few conclusions to draw from this and some advice to others who, reading this might fancy having a go. 1. Keep the group small. Two would be ideal but six would be ok if you all get on and don’t mess about shopping, Mikey, (Don’t tell Becky) eating, peeing, dressing, undressing, talking etc. 2. Only go with people who you have ridden with and you know how they ride. This is tough riding. No eating, no stopping, max speed everywhere, 18hr days on your arse riding hard. 3. Get a good route planned and a sat nav that works. Not all dealerships are easy to find and every minute 4. 5.
6. 7.
lost is one less you get to sleep. Go light. Spare pants, Tshirt, gloves, wets, water, bananas and munchies. No time for meals or tea. Only go on a big comfortable bike that can do the miles without stopping every 5 minutes for fuel and make sure it’s serviced. Lots of hard riding and clutch and brake work. If you are taking Mikey take gaffer tape to gag him as you approach Newcastle. If you are taking Gary don’t bother using cruise
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The Iron HOG Challenge – 26th-28th July 2013
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8. control because he varies his speed all the time as his mind wanders off to another happy place then goes like the clappers to catch up. 9. Don’t expect to ride the same place all the time. Change places to give the other guys a different view, unless you are taking Mikey who cannot be shifted 10.
11.
12. 13.
from P2 without brute force and a crowbar. Leading is bloody hard work as Sharpie will tell you. Its fast and you have to keep everyone in view, watch the road, watch the satnav, look for dealerships etc. Offer to lead from time to time if you know where you are going. Make sure you look tidy as you enter Wales and Scotland. The local Fuzz like to take lots of pictures so you want to look your best. The world is full of idiots. Treat every car driver as one and you may live to tell the tail. Don’t go to Wolverhampton or Stoke after nightfall. You may never get out again!
14. Book the day off work when you get back. My arse is sore and my shoulders don’t move. You might be ok if you are a piano tuner or the like ‘cos it’s a bit the same position as riding for you. 15. Give yourself lots more time to do things than you thought. Every stop takes at least 15 mins and roadworks, traffic and rain will slow you down lots. We had our ups and downs. Sometimes we would have just jacked it in for a beer. Sometimes we would have strangled each other. But on the whole it was a blast and the five of us, Me, Mike (Groundhog) Wakelin. Mike (Sharpie) Sharp. Gary (sorry I was off somewhere else) Palmer. Colin (Always just where he should be and totally dependable) Barnard. And Mikey (I’ll ride anywhere and in any lane I want to) Ivers, had the trip of a lifetime. Now it’s your turn!!!!!! Groundhog
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NV Gallery – Beaulie & Rome
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The Fosters Do Donington Museum We had a spare Sunday and decided to visit The Donington Museum sited on the Donington Park Race Track. It looked quite small from the outside but once inside it was like entering The Tardis. We started in the hall with the military vehicles which included several WWII motorcycles. The Museum Entrance
There was a Churchill Crocodile Tank (flame thrower) and a couple of enormous German Carriers.
Harley Davidson XA (Experimental) flat twin shaft drive
Next we moved onto the first of the five halls with Formula 1 exhibits. Donington Grand Prix Exhibition comprises the largest exhibition of Grand Prix cars in the world. The museum was formed by the late Tom Wheatcroft in March 1973 and is based on his personal collection of vehicles.
Ayrton Senna & Fangio One of Wheatcroft’s private collection
BMW R12 with Sidecar
These include some that Wheatcroft’s own motor racing team ran for drivers such as Roger Williamson and Derek Bell. Attractions include the world’s only complete collection of Vanwall cars, a near complete collection of McLaren Formula One cars and extensive collections of Williams and BRM cars. There is also the Lotus 18 which Stirling Moss won the 1961 Monaco Grand Prix, along with Jim Clark’s World Championship winning Lotus 25. There are also 3 Ferraris.
This Zundapp motorcycle
Churchill Crocodile Tank
found in a burial site with rider still aboard
The museum houses the world’s largest collection of motor racing helmets; Fangio, Graham Hill, Mansell, Hunt and Alonso amongst others. If you have an interest in Formula One or just want somewhere a little different to visit we can recommend this museum. Currently if you log on to: http://www.virginexperiencedays.co.uk/2for1visitto doningtongrandprixcollection you can purchase buy one get one free tickets so 2 adults for £8.00 total.
1952 Ferrari 500 (Albert Ascari)
Row upon row of beautiful gleaming machines
When smoking wasn’t outlawed
There’s a small café and garden area to relax in.
1975 Hesketh 308D
Ian & Gill Foster
Entire section dedicated to Senna
One way to ensure they know your blood group
Compare the steering wheels !
Harley Davidson Police Bike
More beauties!
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Letting the Train Take the Strain – Part 2 In June I told you how I intended to use the ‘Autozug’ motor rail train service on my continental tour this year. Well I would like to tell you all about my experience using the service in case any of you might like to use it yourselves. To catch the train we had to ride to Dusseldorf in Germany. It is feasible to do this in a day but is about 400 miles from Calais so, as we were on tour, we stopped overnight in St Omer before travelling to Dusseldorf. The first part of our journey took us on country roads to Ypres and Waterloo but from there on it was motorways to Dusseldorf including the ‘wonderful’ R0 round Brussels. This and the motorway near Dusseldorf are the busiest in Europe (yes more than M25) and populated by beserk foreign drivers. Glad we had fine weather and a Sunday afternoon to complete this part. Finding the station in Dusseldorf was straightforward though the autozug station is at the back of the main Hauptbahnhof down a little side street. Well straightforward apart from there being a Triathlon on and the numerous signs at every junction making it hard to be certain which turn we wanted. We had been told that loading would commence at 8 pm but we had made good progress so we arrived early at about 6 pm and yep, lots of other travellers had arrived early as well. Now the entrance area was quite small so it was a bit crowded. Glad I wasn’t in the car. There were toilet facilities but that was all. Luckily Checkin opened early for bikes who board train first. I was a little concerned about checkin as I know the Germans can be picky about things being ‘correct’ and one of our group had changed his bike from the one booked. Now for cars they do say you must change details in advance but suggested that for bikes on the day was ok. So armed with our checkin sheet I approached the nice man who
Autumn 2013
spoke English! and yes no problem about change of vehicle, I just had to write the new reg number down and collect 4 straps for each bike. We then moved into one of the many lanes ready to board the train. It is important to get in the right lane or you could end up at the wrong destination ! Now the next bit is not for the faint hearted – riding onto the train. First you go up a ramp and onto the carriage. You then ride, one at a time, down the carriage to the end. Now when booking the trip they did say there was a 1.56m height limit – they were not joking. You have to keep your head DOWN. In the end, once you got in the swing of it, it was not too bad. At the end the train staff directed you to stop on one side and then proceeded to tie the bikes down. A bar is put in front and behind your bike and then the 4 straps are used to secure the bike to both sides of the carriage. Mine being taken from front forks and rear pillion boards. Though the staff did not speak much English they did take care and were happy to discuss things with you though they were not so keen to tie your bike down differently to how they wanted to. Personally I was happy with how they did it. Finally they used a short strap to secure my windscreen tying down at each end of the handlebars. We now had quite a while to wait before the people carriages arrived so we took the opportunity to find something to eat in the Hauptbahnhof. For those of you not familiar with foreign main train stations – they are like minicities with everything you might want being available. The carriages were what I would call ‘Compact and
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Letting the Train Take the Strain – Part 2 /Café Corner
Bijou’ with the emphasis on compact. We had booked 3 berth en suite compartments. For the lucky person in the top bunk I recommend a head for heights – it was a long way up. But beds were good and the ensuite though compact had everything you required and the shower worked remarkably well. The nice train Hostesses told us that about an hour before we arrive there would be an announcement and if we left our door open then they would bring us breakfast. Well the announcements were all in German but no matter. Train journey was not ideal for getting a good nights sleep, being noisy and quite jerky but the best thing was in the morning noticing the train was stopped and lifting the blind seeing the wonderful Austrian Tyrol bathed in sunshine outside. The people in the next compartment had left at Munich so we were offered our breakfast in their compartment which reduced the squeeze a bit.
Autumn 2013
Disembarking was easy – reverse of loading though we all untied our bikes ourselves. So would I use the service again – definitely. If your time is limited and/or you do not want to ride hours on the motorways this service enables you to ride further afield at what I think is a neutral cost. I would though suggest no more than 2 to a compartment and recommend taking 2 days to get to Dusseldorf to save the possibility of being tight for time in bad weather with a load of nutter drivers ! And finally be wary of using the service down into Italy. There was a notice stating that in Italy the Italian staff drive your vehicle on and off the train. It didn’t specifically say bikes but………….. John Nicholas
Right Hand Side with Brown signs directing you. There is a bike parking area on Left Hand Side of car park and the I know it has been a while café is housed in what was the old Station. When I visited it was since I last did a Café Corner lovely and sunny so I sat outside at one of the many picnic tables article. I have been visiting and enjoyed the ambience of being in a lovely green spot with café’s but forgetting to take meadows and trees surrounding you and giving you a feeling that my camera with me. No there is no civilisation anywhere. problem now as my son has given me his old cast off near. Good seating inside if needed. A wide range of food is on phone with WiFi, Blue Tooth and ….. a camera ! offer with a breakfast offering up to 10:30. Staff were very helpful and friendly and I thought the costs fair. The other week I did a ride that followed Slow Hand’s route from Tintern through Herefordshire and took the opportunity to stop at Next to the Station is a couple of old carriages housing information ‘The Old Station’ café near on the area and the old signal box houses art exhibitions. Tintern Abbey. For years I have meant to try this one out As an aside I also went over the and never gotten around to it. Toll Bridge we did on the Dragon Big mistake as this Café is ride. They were very grateful for a second visit though this time we well worth a visit. Travelling had to pay the 20p Toll charge ! North on A466 past Tintern Abbey the café is 1m on the John Nicholas
CAFÉ CORNER
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NV Gallery - Skeggy
Nene Valley Chapter
Autumn 2013
Page 18
Humour Corner
Autumn 2013
TAXI DRIVER A woman and her tenyearold son were riding in a taxi in London. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings. "Mum" said the boy , "what are all those women doing ?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work ," she replied . The taxi driver turns around and says "Geez lady , why don't you tell him the truth ? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mum ?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks "Mum, what happens to the babies those women have?" "They become taxi drivers," she said.
BUS STOP QUIZ You are driving down the road in your sports car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS..................... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.' Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.' HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the bonnet of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.
By Pam Ayres of course.. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (a husband's point of view) The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread... In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominator!! Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My God what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!! Well readers, I can tell no more; Of what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey.
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Date
Event
Location
Information
September 2013 st
Sun 1 rd th 3 – 8 Sept
Chilli Festival Ride Faaker See Rally
Austria
‘The Ambassador’ Leading Chapter ride lead by ‘So Bad’
Breakfast Ride
TBC
‘Rickie’ Leading
Cream Tea Ride
Henley
‘Becks’ Leading leaving Jacks 11.00
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
Eco Ride
TBC
Harley Davidson Night LoH Ride
Ace Café, London Lacock
Check Website for confirmation & details Departs Jacks 09.30
RAF Hendon
North London
Chris Ringer Leading
RTTW 6 & The Return
NMA Alrewas
‘Mikey’ & ‘Slow Hand’ Leading
th
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
th
Brightona Harley Davidson Night
TBC Ace Café, London
‘Bob the Bus’ Leading Check Website for confirmation & details
th
Remembrance Ride & Baps
Bletchley
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
th
Sun 8
th
Sun 15
th
Wed 11 st
Sat 21
th
Thurs 26 th Sat 28 th
Sun 29
October 2013 th
Sat 5
Wed 9
Sun 13 st Thurs 31
November 2013 Sun 10
th
Wed 13
‘The Ambassador’ leading From 7.30pm
December 2013 th
Wed 11
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
January 2014 th
Wed 9
th
Fri 10
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
Awards Night
Towcester RFC
Look out for details
April 2014 th
Wed 9 th
th
25 – 27 April
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
Come Ride The Dragon II
Lake District
Places already prebooked.
August 2014 th
Wed 13 th
th
15 – 17 August
Club Night
Towcester Rugby Club
From 7.30pm
NV Rally
Towcester RFC
Details to follow
Disclaimer: The Editor accepts no responsibility for the views and comments expressed in this publication. All views and comments contained are those of the individual ® ® ® contributors and not necessarily those of Nene Valley H.O.G , Harley Davidson , their agents, or authorised dealers. All H.O.G. Logos and marks are used under licence ® ® in accordance with article X of the current H.O.G. Annual Charter for H.O.G. Chapters.