The Contributor: November 20, 2019

Contributor Board

Cathy Jennings, Chair Tom Wills, Bruce Doeg, Demetria Kalodimos, Ann Bourland

Contributors This Issue

WANT TO BE A VENDOR?

New vendor training Monday, Wednesday, Friday 10 a.m. at Downtown Presbyterian Church, 154 5th Ave N. and 10:30 Thursdays at Room in the Inn, 705 Drexel St. Next vendor meeting Nov. 27 at DPC 9:30 a.m.

How ‘The Contributor ’ Works

BY TOM WILLS, CO-FOUNDER

The paper you just paid for was bought by someone else first, otherwise it wouldn’t exist. That’s how The Contributor works. A vendor who experienced homelessness paid 50 cents for this paper and then sold it to you. By buying it and taking it with you, you’ve just encouraged that vendor to buy another. BOOM! That’s the solution. Now keep reading. This paper has something to say to you.

Street papers provide income for the homeless and initiate a conversation about homelessness and poverty. In 2007, The Contributor founders met at the Nashville Public Library downtown to form one. In a strike of lightning we named it The Contributor to infer that our vendors were “contributors to society,” while their customers could contribute to their work. But, thunder from lighting is always delayed … It took three years, but Nashville embraced us like no other city in the world. The Contributor became the largest selling street paper per-capita on the globe. And today 50 percent of our six months or longer tenured vendors have found housing. BOOM! The thunder has struck.

The Contributor is a different kind of nonprofit social enterprise. We don’t serve meals or provide emergency shelter. We don’t hire people in poverty to create products or provide a service. Rather, we sell newspapers to homeless people who work for themselves. We train them to sell those papers to you, keep the money they earn, and buy more when they need to replace their stock.

Our biggest fans don’t always get this. Like lightning without the thunder, they see the humanity of the vendor but misunderstand the model. Case in point: In 2013 during a funding crunch, a representative of one of Nashville’s biggest foundations exclaimed, “I’m such a big fan that I never take the paper!” We responded, “Well, that’s why we are in a funding crunch.” BOOM! Thunder was heard. Taking the paper makes our

business. Until making these sales, many of our vendors had never experienced the satisfaction of seeing their investment pay off. And when it does, it liberates! They have become “contributors” to their own destiny. And Nashville has become a city of lightning and thunder. BOOM!

Now that you are a SUPPORTER , become an ADVOCATE or a MULTIPLIER

You are already a SUPPORTER because you know that taking the paper makes the model work. You bought the paper and you are reading it. Now your vendor is one copy closer to selling out, which is exciting!

Now you can become an ADVOCATE when you introduce your friends to your favorite vendor, follow us and share our content on social media, contact us when you witness a vendor in distress or acting out of character, or explain why others should pick up a copy and always take the paper when they support a vendor.

model work — not taking it breaks it.

And selling the paper twice doesn’t just fund the paper, it funds housing and change. BOOM! Our vendors report their sales to qualify for subsidized housing and even for standard housing deposits and mortgages. They don’t consider your buying the paper a “donation.” It is a sale. When they sell out, they buy more and build the paper trail of a profitable

And, you can become a MULTIPLIER when you advocate for us AND directly donate to us or become an advertiser or sponsor of The Contributor. Our income stream is made of 50-cent- at-a-time purchases made from our vendors, matched by contributions, ad sales and sponsorships from multipliers like you. Because our vendors are business owners, your donations are seed-money investments in their businesses and multiply in their pockets. Every donated dollar multiplies four-to-seven times as profits in the pockets of our vendors.

Thanks for contributing.

Linda Bailey

• Amanda Haggard • Hannah Herner • Tom Wills • Barbara Womack • Joe Nolan • Paul A. • Tim S. • Carla B. • Julie B. • Vicky B. • Mary B. • Maurice B. • William B. • Eric H. • Mr. Mysterio

Contributor Volunteers

Cathy Jennings • Tom Wills • Joe First

• Andy Shapiro • Michael Reilly • Ann Bourland • Patti George • Linda Miller • Deborah Narrigan • John Jennings • Barbara Womack • Colleen Kelly • Janet Kerwood • Logan Ebel • Christing Doeg • Laura Birdsall

• Nancy Kirkland • Mary Smith • Andrew Smith • Ellen Fletcher • Michael Chavarria

Will Connelly, Tasha F. Lemley, Steven Samra, and Tom WIlls Contributor Co-Founders

Editorials and features in The Contributor are the perspectives of the authors. Submissions of news, opinion, fiction, art and poetry are welcomed. The Contributor reserves the right to edit any submissions. The Contributor cannot and will not endorse any political candidate. Submissions may be emailed to: editorial@thecontributor.org

Requests to volunteer, donate, or purchase subscriptions can be emailed to: info@thecontributor.org Please email advertising requests to: advertising@thecontributor.org

Mailng Address

The Contributor P.O. Box 332023, Nashville, TN 37203 Main Office: 615-499-6829 Vendor Office: 615.829.6829

Proud Member of:

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Copyright © 2018 The Contributor, Inc. All rights reserved.

Cathy Jennings Executive Director

Andrew Krinks Editor Emeritus

COMMUNITY FESTIVAL THANK YOUS

PHOTOS & STORY BY BARBARA WOMACK

It is said that the pen is mightier than the sword so with my mighty pen I would like to thank the four organizations that allowed us to set up booths at their festivals free of charge this year.

Elizabeth Fielding, thank you for the generosity of your spirit by allowing us to participate in The Holy Name Catholic Church’s International Festival.

It was remarkable.

To Sharon Kay of WFSK Radio at Fisk University, thank you for giving The Contributor a chance to be showcased at your annual Food and Music Festival.

To Kwame Lilliard, thank you for being consciously aware of The Contributor and eagerly accepting us as part of The African Street Festival.

We also want to thank Walk Bike Nashville who allowed The Contributor to stand out and shine on Buchanan St. During their Open Streets Festival

Thanks also to Contributor Vendors Maurice B. and Jennifer for being so supportive and on spot for this endeavor.

Lastly I need to thank our Executive Director Cathy Jennings for her extraordinary leadership, her vision of greatness and insightfulness that has made The Contributor a vehicle towards alleviating homelessness in Nashville.

Thank you for realizing the importance of letting us get out in the community and showing that this paper is a vital part of solving the homeless crisis. You are the light at the end of the tunnel for this paper!! Thank you.

Organizations that serve people experiencing homelessness are a lot more racially homogeneous than the populations they serve — and homelessness disproportionately affects people who are black as it is, according to a report put together by the data committee of the Nashville/ Davidson County Continuum of Care.

The CoC is a collection of 37 organizations that serve Nashville’s homeless population in different capacities.

Homelessness and race

Forty-three percent of people experiencing homeless, be it in shelters or unsheltered, are black, according to the 2018 point-in-time count, a count of those without permanent housing that takes place on one day in January each year. By contrast, the census reports that in 2018, 27 percent of Nashvillians identified as black. The point-in-time count also found the homeless population to be 1 percent Asian and 3 percent Hispanic, percentages that are actually less than the census report of 3.6 percent Asian, and 10.4 percent Hispanic populations in Nashville.

“The Nashville/Davidson County CoC has yet to engage in a deep or systematic analysis of racial and ethnic disparities in outcomes among those experiencing homelessness in our city,” the report states.

The report also says the committee

BY HANNAH HERNER

will be looking into if there are also racial disparities in how long people are on waiting lists for housing and how long they remain in transitional programs before getting permanent housing.

Service organizations and race

Out of the 37 member organizations of the CoC, 79 percent of those serving on all the boards were white, according to data compiled in the same report through the nonprofit database givingmatters.com. Just under 21 percent of board members are African American, and if three historically African American-led organizations were removed from the data, it would make the CoC organization boards 84 percent white, the report reads.

There are only six individuals identified as Asian on these boards, less than one percent. There are only eight individuals identified as Hispanic or Latinx — again, less than 1 percent compared to the city’s 10 percent Hispanic population.

It’s not just the boards. The general workforce in this field is mostly white, too. In a survey of 128 people working in jobs that serve people experiencing homelessness in Nashville, 80 percent were white and only 14 percent selected black or African American as the one racial designation that best described them. A little over three percent iden-

tified as Hispanic or Latinx.

What’s next

“The CoC is only beginning to examine these survey results in depth, but, even from a cursory review, it is clear that those who serve and make decisions about the design and delivery of services for people experiencing homelessness in Nashville do not reflect the races and ethnicities of the population that avails itself of those services,” the report reads.

The CoC Homelessness Planning Council has recently created a committee on racial equity. Once this committee is filled, it will work with other committees to set concrete goals around racial equity, says Abigail Dowell, assistant director for the Homeless Impact Division, which staffs the Homelessness Planning Council, CoC’s governing board.

Housing and Urban Development (HUD), which provides the CoC with federal funds, started asking questions about racial disparities, and the running this report was one of the first steps in following suit, Dowell says.

“I hope that it pushes our community to try and make things more equitable, to help bring up leaders to provide more diversity so that we can better serve individuals experiencing homelessness,” Dowell says. “I just think it’s a piece that has been overlooked for too long and has to be addressed.”

FORMER VENDOR GARY GETS TO PAY IT FORWARD

BY HANNAH HERNER

Gary Basham is on the board of a soon-tobe built homeless shelter, he’s an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor, a church leader and lives in a home with his wife and two young children in Trenton, Ky. In 2010, he started selling The Contributor, which put him on the path that led him away from alcoholism and an encampment.

Basham credits The Contributor with being his catalyst for getting out of homelessness. He’s even brought up the idea of setting up a street paper in Trenton to go along with the shelter. He says selling the paper spurred a chain reaction for him. He started being “productive instead of destructive,” he says. He met his wife and got connected with the nonprofit Open Table Nashville, which helped him move from an encampment to Section 8 housing. He saved up enough money from selling The Contributor to start his own lawn care and painting business — then he and his wife decided to move to Kentucky, fleeing the rising cost of living in Nashville.

“I owe The Contributor my life right now,” Basham says. “Selling The Contributor after I met my wife gave me the confidence to pick my butt up out on the street, to save money, it helped me get back into church. Between The Contributor, and my God, I’ve got a life now. I’ve got a nice place to live, I’ve got two

beautiful children. We own a vehicle, we don’t have to walk.”

The shelter he’s working on will host AA meetings, as well as other mental health services. Basham knows what it’s like to be a mentee, and now he’ll be a mentor. He’s been sober for 10 years, but struggled with alcoholism when he first started selling the paper.

“I’m ashamed of my past, but I don’t mind talking about it because it helps me with my inner feelings,” he says. “I would sell the paper and I might eat once a day, but the rest of my money was going to alcohol.”

A former pastor at Green Street Church of Christ — which hosts an encampment and weekly meals for those who are homeless — let Basham stay with him for a period of time. During that time, he was able to talk things through and sober up. Basham then began speaking about his experiences at Green Street during the weekly meals.

These days, he speaks at his church about overcoming alcoholism and bullying.

“All my life I have had people telling me that I can’t do this, I’ll never amount to anything,” Basham says. “I had to prove them wrong. I remembered a Bible verse that my grandfather used to say to me all the time when I started feeling down. That’s Phillipians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ Jesus

who strengthens me.”

Using that verse, Basham says he got a lot of good response from the different people he’s spoken to. It has become his life’s verse, he says. He’s had T-shirts printed.

Bullying is a cause that lays heavy on Basham’s heart. Part of this is because he endured some while he was selling papers.

“Some people that don’t know about The Contributor condemn people that sell The Contributor, saying that they’re nothing but drug addicts and alcoholics. But they’re not. People keep saying, ‘all you want is a hand out,’ or you want this, or you want that. We don’t need a hand out, we need a hand up, and the hand up that I’m talking about is The Contributor,” Basham says. “If you talk to somebody instead of talking at somebody, you’ll learn more. The main thing I would say, is to stop bullying and start talking.”

Being diagnosed with lung cancer has made Basham reflect on his life.

“If I can give back just one portion of what God and The Contributor has given me — I owe it all to selling The Contributor, really,” he says. “God is the one that took me to Tom [Wills] and The Contributor. And that guy gave me a start. So if I can help somebody else get their life kickstarted over, then it’s worth it.”

PHOTO COURTESY OF GARY B.

Gangsters, Grifts & Gore

BY JOE NOLAN Film Critic

Martin Scorsese’s new gangland epic, The Irishman, made its world premiere at the New York Film Festival at the end of September, and before its first screening at the Belcourt this weekend, the movie is already being hailed as a classic — another Scorsese masterpiece. And that’s what The Irishman is: an ensemble of filmmaking geniuses — a combination of veteran collaborators and new additions — doing some of the best work of their now-legendary-careers which began in the New Hollywood-era of the 1970s. The movie itself deserves its raves, but most reviews also use words like “elegy,” “eulogy,” “farewell.” and an article by Christina Newland at the Culture section of BBC.com even bears the questioning headline “Is The Irishman the end of the gangster movie as we know it?”

Given the ages of the principle actors and the director, this is likely the last Scorsese-directed gangster movie featuring regulars like Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci and Harvey Keitel. And given

the vaunted place films like Mean Streets (1973) and Goodfellas (1990) occupy in the canon of contemporary crime cinema it’s easy to argue that does mean the end of the genre as we’ve come to understand it. But The Irishman casts a shadow on the genre that reaches beyond Scorsese: DeNiro and Al Pacino were both featured in Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather trilogy,

and Pacino graduated from gifted young actor to mature movie superstar in Scarface (1983) — a loose remake of a Prohibition-era film that helped to establish the milieu of organized crime as a staple of cinema. Harvey Keitel made his name as an actor in 1970s Scorsese classics like Mean Streets, and his role in Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs (1992) helped to launch the

career of the filmmaker who is Scorsese’s most obvious street story successor. Of course, there will be more gritty movies about criminals. But if The Irishman feels like the end of an era, it’s an engrossing, nostalgic, tense and bloody beauty of a finish for nearly a century of mob movies.

Frank Sheeran (Robert DeNiro) is a meat packing delivery truck driver in 1950s Pennsylvania. He makes a connection with a steak-loving gangster and gets accused of theft. A lawyer named Bill Buffalino (Ray Romano) gets Frank out of hot water and introduces him to his cousin, Russell Buffalino (Joe Pesci), the head of the Buffalino crime family of northeast Pennsylvania. The Buffalinos connect Sheeran with the head of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino). Sheeran becomes Hoffa’s right hand man in a war against Jack and Bobby Kennedy, and a union upstart, Anthony Provenzano. The film is based on Charles Brandt’s 2004 book about Sheeran, I Heard You Paint Houses

The Irishman follows Sheeran’s moral decay from side-hustling truck driver to cold-blooded contract killer. In 1932, censors made Howard Hawks add a long prologue to the original Scarface, literally spelling-out its condemnation of gangsters — even at the dawn of the genre these films were accused of making murder and mayhem to exciting and glamorous. One of the most remarkable things about The Irishman is its refusal to glorify gangsters, grifts and gore. Instead — no spoilers — Scorsese employs a pitch-black-comedic-device every time we’re introduced to another criminal, con man, henchman or, ahem, house painter. The result makes the awful absurdities of the criminal life impossible to gloss over.

The Irishman, of course, comes with a body count, but it’s much more an actorly character study featuring consistently great performances from an outstanding ensemble including Anna Paquin’s exquisitely restrained turn as Peggy Sheeran, Frank’s estranged daughter. The movie runs over three hours, but it never bogs down or feels overstuffed. The Irishman may be the last gangster movie of a kind, but its the first film you’ll want to see as we kick off the holiday season at the movies this year.

Joe Nolan is a critic, columnist and performing singer/ songwriter based in East Nashville. Find out more about his projects at www.joenolan.com.

TENNESSEE SHOULD HAVE A CAN AND BOTTLE RETURN PROGRAM

BY PAUL A., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

Tennessee should join 11 other states in offering a bottle and can return program.

It would help with picking up some of the trash. It could help slow down some of the panhandling. I started doing it years ago in downtown Detroit. You got 10 cents per bottle. In one weekend during the car races, I picked up enough bottles and cans to pay my rent for a month. And my rent at that time was $250. It also covered my food. I was eating out at the time because I had no place to cook.

Stores might resist it, but they could put a limit on how many a person can turn in at one time, and and in the end they could save on their bill.

I think it would be a good thing for the state to have it.

STROKED OUT

BY TIM S., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

There once was a man who could talk with all the right words. Then he had a stroke and his life changed forever. Now people tell him they don’t understand him. No matter how hard he tries the words just will not come out the right way. The old man gets mad, but there is nothing that can be done about it. He loves life and feels that he should be able to say that but oh no, the stroke has him for good.

JOURNEY WITH JESUS

BY CARLA B., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

We would like to share how Jesus sent two lost crazy souls together to rescue one another. We are on this life journey with our Jesus and us. We wake up every morning praising, thanking Jesus for the day. We live our lives not knowing what Jesus will send our way, but we know as long as we’re wearing Jesus armour, everything is going to be all right. Been thrown out to battle of storms of hell. Now I see my sunny skies and my rainbow. Walking through life’s journey with all the pieces of my heart, Jesus, me, my mom, dad, Gwen, Randall, Dakota, Dalton, Fairy, Danny, Cal, Rusty, Nonie, Memow and all the ones I love.

LONELY IN LA

BY JULIE B., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

Dear Julie, I recently traveled to New York and fell in love with someone at Coney Island. Now I’m home, and I can’t stop thinking about him. We’ve since decided to begin a long-distance relationship. I’m thrilled, but I’m having a hard time feeling so far flung. Do you have any tips to keep me from losing my mind until I see him again?

Sincerely, Lonely in LA (from Nashville though)

Dear Lonely in LA, If you really love this person and really want to be with them, the only thing you can do is move to New York City. If you really care for him then there’s only one thing to do: Pack up your things and get a place in New York City and move there. Think of it as an adventure. You get to spend time in New York City and you get to be with someone you really care about. I wish you all the luck in the world. And I hope it works out for you and him. It is something special to find the one you want to be with. Love is hard to find. So when you find it don’t let it go. I hope you and him will be happy.

My New Home

BY VICKY B., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

Nov. 4, 2019. I’ll never forget this day. I signed that date about 50 times on the paperwork for my new studio apartment in Nashville. I tossed and turned with excitement the night before and the following day as I waited for friends to come move what I had packed up. Excitement and tears of joy filled my every thought since receiving approval through MDHA. The wait is over. A home is ours with rent that is affordable. No more living in a car or a broken down RV.

I now can walk into my home and turn on a light switch instead of trying to find the lantern to turn on. I have a kitchen to cook and bake in, just in time for the holidays. I have a dishwasher that took me two hours to figure out and an oven to roast a Thanksgiving turkey in. I have a corner to put up a Christmas tree with lights and ornaments. I have a window overlooking

Nashville — the sights and sounds so different than Hermitage. There are new people to get to know and new surroundings to become familiar with — new bus schedules to learn and a new park for Faith to play in.

The first week was so hard. Anxiety filled my thoughts, sleepless nights became a regular thing. How could I be feeling this way when my dream has finally come true? Soon I started to develop new habits and rituals to end my day with. Habits that most would think are normal like taking a hot shower, brushing my teeth and even washing my face in the evening. I can curl up on the sofa (that took four people to carry up six flights of stairs because it was too big for the elevator) with a good book and my dog Faith resting her head on my thigh. It’s been an adjustment for both of us, but one that’s coming easier each day.

MY TRIP TO KENTUCKY

BY MARY B., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

Back a couple of years ago I swore I would never step one foot back in Kentucky again. My last visit to Kentucky was a nightmare. I was accused of a crime that I didn’t do. About 14 years ago I lived in Harlan County, Ky., and I was arrested for a crime I didn’t do. After spendinding weeks in jail I was released. Fourteen years later the police ran my name and told me that there was a warrant on me and I had to go to jail. When I went to court they told me that there was a hold on me in Kentucky. Once I got there I found out that it was the same thing I went to jail for 14 years prior. I stayed 72 days before I went to court and it was dismissed. This is why I said I would never go back to Kentucky.

One of my customers/friends Fran has asked me several times to go to Kentucky and I’ve told her no everytime. Well, she asked me again and I said yes I would love to go. She has told her mom so much about me. I had to go meet the lady that helped me get my smile back.

So on Sept. 19, around 1:15 p.m. we left for South Shore, Ky. On our way to Kentucky I was given a history lesson as we drove through the towns.

In Versailles, Ky., there is a castle that is a Bed and Breakfast now. The construction was started in 1969 by Rex Martin for his wife Carolin e Bogaert Martin. They took a trip to Germany that inspired him to build the castle. In 1975, they divorced so

it was never finished. In 2003, Mr. Martin died so it was never finished or sold. In 2003, The Martin Castle was sold for $1.8 million to Thomas R. Post, a lawyer from Miami, Fla., who graduated from The University of Kentucky. In 2008 the castle was finished and was called The Post Castle. In 2017 it was sold for $30 million.

Once we got into Lexington we saw the Calumet Farms 762-acre Thoroughbred breeding and training farm for horses that was established in 1924 by William Monroe Wright, the founder of Calumet Baking Powder. The farm is located in the heart of Bluegrass, a well-known horse breeding region. When drive through, you will also see that the names of the streets are named after famous racing horses.

A little up the road you will see Johnny Depp’s momma’s house that has a white picket fence that surrounds the house. I wasn’t even aware that Johnny Depp was from Kentucky. Were you?

We finally made it to South Shore. The town was small but cozy. And her mother was a hoot. Mrs. Collins was an 85-year-old lady with the spunk of a teenager.

She kept me rolling with her stories. I’m really glad that I went. I got to finally meet the lady that helped me get my smile back. I can’t wait to go back to see her. Before I left, I asked her if I could write an article on her. She said yes. Her story is amazing. And you should see it in a future issue.

It’s a new place to write and the start of new chapters in my life. I’ll miss my Hermitage family, but I promise I’ll never forget you. I stopped listening to people who said we’d never get housing. I stopped listening to people that said public housing is a place I would never want to live in. I stopped feeling scared to be in a town that I didn’t know. I started following what I thought was right. I started filling out housing applications even when a friend said I’d never be able to get into MDHA housing because I needed good credit. I started the process not knowing, but discovered there was a place for me. A home. While my journey is over, many hundreds of thousands are still experiencing homelessness. The fight isn’t over until everyone has a safe, warm place to call home that’s affordable.

THE HIGHS & LOWS

BY MAURICE B., CONTRIBUTOR VENDOR

Looking at the economy crash and the Recession one must remember the times of the barter trade because if and only if the ideas of that system would be at the forefront of many individual’s mind then the worries of making it through these/those times actually wouldn’t be a major factor. By there being so many people working and placing money into the plans to assist them when they retire or get hurt then the question is posed why are individuals sickly and or retired having to go back to work and be barely surviving?

Survival during the Recession is all about eating voraciously. In other words, it’s a dog-eat-dog world since the barter trade ended. It has been said that money is the root of all evil. Actually, the reactions of money is the root, because the actions that come from it is from the greedy minded individuals that choose to hold it over others. That is evil.

Aforetime there wasn’t so many problems because individuals lived in peace and fellowship within the atmosphere, but then came about the actions of manipulation in all aspects and the minds of bringing about currency and factories, industries then enterprises, came about and now technology in which cloning is now coming into effect. So the logical factor for the present stage is to hoard as much as possible right? The question that is posed to that is if one passes on right this instant are you going to have it all shoved into the grave with you? By there being so much conflict about the economy crash and survival of the Recession why not come together at a middle ground?

Reaching outside of your comfort zone will surely bring about a form of dignity and admiration within your own feelings and emotions. The old teachings of the barter trade is the foundation in which this world is founded off of. How easily do we forget our roots, whereas our almighty God gave us?

LORD YOU GAVE ME A MOUNTAIN

I’ve been to prison for something I’ve never done It’s been one hill after another But I climbed them all one by one This time, Lord you gave me a mountain. A mountain I may never climb. It isn’t no hill any longer You gave me a mountain this time

You know Lord, when I got out of prison I found it so hard to find things to do I couldn’t work and I didn’t have no money Until a friend told me about The Contributor news I went and I talked to these people And found that I could be a vendor, too

You know Lord, You gave me that mountain That mountain I managed to climb Now it isn’t no hill any longer You gave me that mountain this time

If it hadn’t been for The Contributor There’s no telling where my life may be I can find myself playing my music And singing my songs on the street

This time, Lord you gave me that mountain That mountain I may never climb It isn’t no hill any longer You gave me that mountain this time

You know Lord, when I went into prison, I wanted off the drugs and alcohol Now I’m 12 years sober off of all that I can sing this for you

You know Lord, You gave me that mountain That mountain I managed to climb Now it isn’t no hill any longer You gave me that mountain this time

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY

ERIC H.

On Thanksgiving morning, I open my eyes Looking past the turkey to the cake and pies Seeing exactly what I’m looking for, starting to pray

Giving thanks to a customer for making this a happy Thanksgiving day

WILLIAM B., Lyrics based on “You Gave me a Mountain” by Marty Robbins

ASK MR. MYSTERIO

DEAR MR. MYSTERIO,

So, it’s the holidays again. I loved it when I was a kid. I would love getting time off school and taking trips and seeing family. But in my adult life, it’s become more of a strain. Of course, I understand. We grow up and life gets more complicated. It becomes awkward to get everybody in the same room to look through old pictures and talk about what everybody’s kids are doing and find foods that everybody will eat.

But this year, getting together with family sounds nearly unbearable. It’s just been a particularly hard time, I guess. I got fired from a job in the summer and I still haven’t gotten back on my feet. I’m looking at either going back to school or staying in a much lower-paying job –– neither of which are valid options, according to my dad. Then last month, I broke up with a long-time boyfriend who’s been coming home with me for Thanksgiving for the past four years. My family loved him — more than I did by the end. Mom calls me twice a week just to see if we’ve gotten back together. I guess my parents are well-meaning, but their execution is just painful. It doesn’t help that both my brothers seem to be doing just great with their jobs and wives and kids.

I can’t really afford the trip home this month, anyway — much less the one in December for Christmas. I get no vacation time at my new (hourly) job. My roommate keeps telling me I can just stay in town with her and hang out with her family, which sounds great actually, but I don’t know if I can make my family understand. I’ve seriously been considering faking the flu so I don’t have to travel. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go home and grit my teeth and try to get through another one.

Do I really have to go home for the holidays?

Sincerely, Thanksgiving Ingrate

DEAR INGRATE,

TV commercials are really fond of telling us what the holidays are about. They’ll say the holidays are about “family” or “giving” or “home”. And those are all supposed to be comforting words that make us feel warm and nostalgic and excited about spending money. But sometimes as we grow up the meanings of those words change. “Family” can become a challenge. Is communicating with these people really worth it? “Giving” becomes a code word for guilt. Are you giving every bit of yourself that you can? “Home” can just be confusing. Where is home anymore anyway?

I can’t say for certain whether you should go home for the holidays. I can tell you for certain that while you’re making that decision you need to be active, you need to be direct, and you need to avoid avoidance. I think this is a great opportunity for you to get active in treating yourself better. You can start being more direct in your relationships and stop avoiding situations just because they make you anxious or uncomfortable. I know that sounds like a lot of responsibility, but I think in the end you’ll find it easier than agonizing over what everybody’s going to think of you if you do the wrong thing. You have no control over how your family feels about the holidays or about you or about anything, really. You have a lot of control over how you feel about your life and your decisions.

So, on the matter of the holidays, start by asking this one simple question: What sounds like fun for you? Maybe Thanksgiving with friends? Maybe Christmas alone? Maybe holidays with your family where you speak-up for

yourself and don’t just roll over and let people question all your life choices while you’re expected to.

Here’s a scenario I just came up with. What if you pick one holiday to spend with your roommate (since you said that sounds like something you’d enjoy). Tell your family that’s what you’ve decided. Be honest and direct. Let them know that you need a change this year and that you’re taking care of yourself by staying in town. Once that conversation is over, throw any residual guilt and enjoy your holiday.

Now, for your other holiday, you travel out to see your family. But instead of spending the whole time “gritting your teeth” and bearing it, you just need to be active and direct in letting your family know that you aren’t there to be criticized for the recent changes in your life. You’re there to connect authentically with the people who’ve known you the longest.

I know you feel beat up by the past few months and you’d love a break from hard work. I can’t promise you that the hard work of being active, direct and non-avoidant will lead to an easier life, but I think it will lead to a more fulfilling one.

DEAR MR. MYSTERIO,

My 2-year-old cat needs to lose a few pounds for health reasons (think Jabba the Hutt). But when I put her on a diet, she becomes mean (think Jabba the Hutt).

What should I do?

Temperamental Tabby Daddy

DEAR TABBY DADDY,

This isn’t about your cat. This is about you letting yourself get pushed around. You’re soft (think Jabba the Hutt).

You made a great decision to get your cat in good shape and as soon as she gets in a bad mood, you fold. I know that cat can’t be the only one making you do things you don’t want to do. How far are you going to let this go? Do you let your coworkers push you around? Your friends? Your spouse?

I’ll tell you what, Owner, you should let an unlicensed advice columnist push you around for a little bit. First things first, that cat is on a diet. She gets to eat when you say so and not until. (Secondly, she’ll need plenty of attention and play-time. That’s just good pet ownership.)

Now that the cat is squared away, you’re going to have to stand up to those other temperamental tabbies in your life. You’ve called yourself an “Owner.” It’s time for you to own your actions, your opinions and your outcomes.

Today you need to make a list of all the demanding cats in your life that are making you act against your better judgment. Then I want you to read through those names and acknowledge that nobody can make you do anything. That you have control over the decisions you make and that you aren’t going to let people tell you what to do anymore.

That’s all I’ve got. After this, you won’t have me to push you around anymore. You’re going to have to start pushing yourself around, and that, my friend, is a whole other can of tuna.

“To be alive, and the goal of getting back my drivers license. Be more thankful when I get a vehicle!” Charles P.

“To be alive and free at 33 years old.” Curtis J. (Lil Curtis)

“The Lord Jesus for cleansing my sins! “Sharon H.

“The Contributor.” Kelvin H.

“Thankful for still being alive. For having a good family and good friends.” Tonya H.

“Thankful for my guardian angels, Gerald and Cindy.” Christina F.

“Thankful for all of my customers and for my knees since surgery!” Pedro L.

“Thankful for being a Contributor vendor. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody!” Alonzo K.

“Owwww! Life in general!” Elaine P.

“Life.” Harold A.

“Life in general.” June P.

“I’m thankful for my mind.” Theresa S.

“I’m thankful for my babies. That they are all alive and well. I’m thankful that the Lord blesses me.” John P. (Uncle or Pops)

“I’m thankful for life.” Tony F.

“I am thankful for my daughter and my husband.” Jackie S.

“I’m thankful for having a home, good friends, and people who have helped me out.” Bobby L.

“I’d like to thank our customers, because without them, there’d be no us.” Harold B.

“I think my high school students from Centennial High School on Hwy 96 for purchasing the Contributor paper from me. A big shout-out thank you to those great kids! I love them.” Semaj L.

“I am thankful to sell these papers! It is a job.” Jamie W.

“I am thankful for life.” Josh H.

“God, shelter, my family, my church family, sobriety and my customers.” Richard T.

“Good health.” Robert G.

“God’s love, being able to walk, thankful for life when doctors thought I would not even be here.” Teresa S.

“For the job I have.” Robert P.

“For The Contributor.” Demetrius C.

“For God, the opportunities afforded by The Contributor and my customers.” David B.

“Consistent sales and shelter from cold rainy days.” Leslie S.

“Being alive.” Joseph D.

Mr. Mysterio is an Amateur Astrologer and a Pending Junior Member of the Guild of Unlicensed Advice Columnists (GUAC). Please consult with a veterinarian, a travel agent, and at least two registered caregivers before acting on any advice given above. This Ask Mr. Mysterio first ran in 2015.

THE

SAT. DEC 7 | 6-9 pm Downtown Presbyterian Church

Pictures of a City in Transition Photography by vendors of

Church

PHOTO BY HAROLD B.