the carillon the staff
editor-in-chief editor@carillonregina.com
taylor balfour
executive director business@carillonregina.com
jacob nelson
production manager production@carillonregina.com
morgan ortman
advertising manager advertising@carillonregina.com
ty cote
technical editor shae shackman carillontechnical@carillonregina.com multimedia/graphics editors multimedia@carillonregina.com graphics@carillonregina.com
kate thiessen sarah carrier
copy editor copyeditor@carillonregina.com
hannah senicar
news editor news@carillonregina.com
sara birrell
a&c editor aandc@carillonregina.com
julia peterson
sports editor sports@carillonregina.com
ethan butterfield
op-ed editor op-ed@carillonregina.com
holly worby
distribution manager distribution@carillonregina.com staff writer staff writer news writer a&c writer sports writer
kyle anderson
marty grande-sherbert
reese estwick
matt thomson florence hwang sarah nakonechny
web writer
gillian massie contributors hammad ali, philippe bouchard, rayanne gwilliam and hila smith
vol. 63
board of directors taylor balfour, lindsay holitzki, maddie ouelette, dustin smith. marty grande-sherbert, and jacob nelson
the paper
227 Riddell Center University of Regina - 3737 Wascana Parkway, Regina, SK, Canada S4S 0A2 www.carillonregina.com Ph: (306) 586 8867 Printed by Star Press Inc, Wainwright, AB The Carillon welcomes contributions. Opinions expressed in the pages of the Carillon are expressly those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of The Carillon Newspaper Inc. Opinions expressed in advertisements appearing in the Carillon are those of the advertisers, and not necessarily of The Carillon Newspaper Inc. or its staff. The Carillon is published no less than 11 times each semester during the fall and winter semesters and periodically throughout the summer. The Carillon is published by the Carillon Newspaper Inc., a non-profit organization. land acknowledgement The Carillon is written on treaty four territory. As such, the staff recognize that we are living, working, and telling stories on and of Indigenous lands. We recognize that we are on the traditional homelands of the Nakota, Lakota, and Dakota peoples, along with the homeland of the Métis nation. The carillon understands that it is pointless to acknowledge the land on which we work without speaking to our commitment to telling stories and prioritizing voices that further the return of the land to its place sacred place in the cultures of those that live here. the manifesto In keeping with our reckless, devil-may-care image, our office has absolutely no concrete information on the Carillon’s formative years readily available. What follows is the story that’s been passed down from editor to editor for over forty years. In the late 1950s, the University of Regina planned the construction of several new buildings on the campus grounds. One of these proposed buildlings was a beltower on the academic green. If you look out on the academic green today, the first thing you’ll notice is that it has absolutely nothing resembling a belltower. The University never got a belltower, but what it did get was the Carillon, a newspaper that serves as a symbolic bell tower on campus, a loud and clear voice belonging to each and every student.
the people’s friend; the tyrant’s foe
The University of Regina Students’ Newspaper Since 1962 April 1 - April 15, 2021 | Volume 63, Issue 24 | carillonregina.com
news
April Fools Welcome to our final issue of the 20202021 school year! It’s been an amazing year for our student paper. Thanks to remote learning and the pandemic, this one is certainly one for the history books. For now, as we reflect, ket’s take some time to have some laughs. Our spoof theme for this year is the one and only Bellfeed. We hope you can take some time to glance through and unwind before finals.
sports
arts
p.4 - 6
Yes, we know this whole year has been a joke, buuuuut... [Prod. manager’s note: Unfortunately, our URSU story is not included in these shenanigans... That one is real.]
Flamingoes suck?
p.8
Age ain’t nothing but a number when it comes to consuming the media you enjoy.
p.11
Chicago, Illinois: Home of the deep dish pizza, Al Capone, and that one Giant Bean. It also has a lot of shitty quarterbacks.
op-ed
op-ed
sports
Bears QBs
Thanks for another amazing year. We’ll see you over the summer! Taylor Balfour Editor-in-Chief
photos
cover......................................sarah carrier news..............................................pixabay a&c.................................................piqsels sports..................................................pixy sports............................................pixabay op-ed.........................wikipedia commons op-ed..................................relaxing music
Olympics 2021
p.12
Sarah Nakonechny looks ahead at what’s in store for the 2021 Summer Olympics.
Buildings quiz
p.17
Have you ever wondered what U of R building you’d haunt based on what kind of Uni jerk you are? No? Well, I bet you are now.
Stress coping
p.18
Feeling anxious and wound up? Rayanne Gwilliam offers up some solid advice for coping with it.
news
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editor: sara birrell news@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021
URSU board appoints current president as interim GM Past execs voice concerns
sara birrel news editor After a roughly 90-minute in camera session during their Tuesday, March 23 board meeting, the URSU board confirmed that they would go ahead with the firing of General Manager Carl Flis, with outgoing President Gurjinder Singh Lehal stepping in as interim GM. Although the move seems to be a violation of Section V of the URSU constitution, board chair Tim Otitoju, said that the board has consulted with their lawyer, who did not specifically say that appointing the current president to the GM role would be a violation of the section, which states that “no Director may hold more than one office or paid position of the student union at a time.” Otitoju noted that Lehal will not be getting paid for his GM role. “It depends on your interpretation of ‘two roles,’” as to whether the boards’ decision to appoint Lehal is unconstitutional, he added. The in camera session came after a presentation from three former URSU executives, Victor Oriola, Derek Gagnon, and Nathan Sgrazzutti, where they argued that the decision to fire Flis at this point in the year has a “financial and mental cost,” adding that the loss of Flis at such a crucial time in the semester threatens the services URSU provides and “leaves the university administration unlimited power over students.” They added that their concerns were not about the “merits” of firing Flis, but the timeline. The three raised concerns about the amount of institutional memory that is being lost, given that at the end of this semester URSU will be down three of the four current executives, an operations manager, and now a general manager. “This is a cost we will continue to incur,” Oriola said. And although Lehal is currently serving in the GM role, the current board has no power to keep him in that role when the board turns over in May. If URSU has not found a permanent GM by
URSU logo manipulated by Jeremy Davis and Kate Thiessen
URSU logo in flaming trash can (last time this semester!)
that time, it’s possible that the next board will reject Lehal in the interim role. In an interview with the Carillon, Sgrazzutti, who was president of URSU from 2012-2014 and who, like Gagnon and Oriola, is a current student at the U of R, said he believes the decision regarding the firing and hiring of the GM should have been left to the incoming board. “They’re the ones who are effectively reaping the benefits or negatives of whatever decision they end up going with.” He said he’s particularly
Lehal’s comment about increased openness comes at a time when the students’ union has not yet issued a direct statement to the student body informing URSU members of the decision to fire their most senior employee, let alone the reasoning behind it. Nor has the union told students that Lehal will be stepping in as interim GM. The board plans to strike a committee of existing board members, future board members, and no staff to attempt to determine the next GM. Lehal told the Carillon “The search
hovers around 10 per cent, and was 9.6 per cent in the last election, fell to 6.7 per cent this year. CRO Amber Smale warned the board in her report on the 2021 general election that “this is the first major drop” in voter turnout she’s seen. Many students report being unaware that board meetings are open to the public and a surprising number don’t know that students pay money for the services URSU offers. The second is that, with limited exceptions, those who get involved with URSU in any capacity are and
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I’m genuinely concerned that there is an attempt to extend the tenure of specific individuals on the executive, well past that which they were elected for. – Nathan Sgrazzutti
alarmed by the decision to have Lehal step in as interim general manager. “I am genuinely concerned that there is an attempt to extend the tenure of certain individuals on the executive, well past that which they were elected for. And the attempt there is, one, to continue working as the acting general manager and, two, be the ones in control of who the next general manager will be. There’s just way too much of a conflict of interest there.” Although Otitoju said he’s done what he can to build in accountability – something he noted is out of the scope of his role – Lehal is still serving as the hinge between staff and a board who, by all accounts, have a “toxic” relationship. Lehal told the Carillon that URSU is in a “rebuilding phase” but declined to provide any additional reasoning for Flis’s firing, adding that the board “look[s] forward to working with our members to re-emerge from this transitional phase a stronger, more open and more representative union than we’ve ever been.”
committee will be formed as per the URSU governance. I’m also looking to have output of the next Executives in the search committee as they’ll be the one working with the new General Manager.” For her part, incoming URSU President Hannah Tait said she is “excited to potentially work with Gurjinder on the hiring committee. He has been in consultations and will be deciding specifics of the committee shortly based on policy.” What policy this is remains unclear, and during the meeting last Tuesday, Lehal admitted he would need to obtain legal advice to determine how to move forward. In his remarks to last week’s board meeting, Oriola noted the legal and other costs that will be incurred by University of Regina students as a result of the decision to fire Flis. Two things have become abundantly clear during the course of the year, and over the past four months in particular. Students as a whole are disengaged from the students’ union. Voter turnout, which typically
remain deeply committed to the union, even after their tenure is up. A major task of the incoming board will have to be bridging that gap between URSU and the students they are supposed to be serving. With board meetings held virtually, one of the ways the union was previously able to draw students to meetings – free food – is no longer possible. However, the board needs to find a way to increase student attendance at meetings. This is not only an educational opportunity for students to learn about the way their union functions and to foster a sense of inclusion, thereby increasing engagement, but increased scrutiny is healthy for the board, and may help avoid future scandal or constitutional violations. Reducing or eliminating the number of in camera sessions is also a necessary step towards creating a more engaging and transparent union. Taking the firing of Carl Flis as an example, since the discussions about it were held in camera and since the board has declined to re-
lease a reason for the termination beyond a “need for change,” outside of rumours and whisper networks, students may never know why the GM was let go. Speaking personally here and not as a reporter, that’s a problem. While the GM is employed by the board, the board is meant to represent students. When they make huge decisions like this without informing the student body of the reasons behind them (or even informing them that it happened at all), that undermines the sense of solidarity that is supposed to be central to a union. Of course, students feel disengaged from the union – it seems to have very little to do with them and their lives. In her report to the board, Smale told URSU “the Carillon has the most influence over your reputation.” With respect to Smale and her dedicated service to URSU, I have to disagree. URSU is in control of their own reputation. They have the ability to communicate en masse to students, not just about positive things they’re doing, but about their institutional and internal challenges. They can encourage attendance at their meetings, and they can increase transparency. They have a constitution to guide their decision making. Frank and open communication from URSU would be welcome, even if that news isn’t always good news. Part of the reason URSU suffers reputational damage is because they’re often acting like they have something to hide. When every resignation or firing to come out of URSU comes as breaking news in the paper and not as a press release or statement from the union itself, acknowledging trouble and addressing how they plan to respond, of course it seems like the Carillon is in control of URSU’s image. The student body is well aware that URSU is in crisis, it has been since long before the current board. The best way for them to address this is to, well, address it.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon | 4
news
EVERYTHING IS GREAT Good news all around
matt thomson news writer Boy, it has been such a great three months, hasn’t it? The news from all around the world has been nothing but gold-plated hit after hit after hit after hit for so long, I, for one, have completely forgotten what it’s like to feel a debilitating sense of doom! Our elected leaders have been SO responsible, empathetic, and skilled in dealing with the flood of problems facing the modern world that to have anything but a positive outlook on the future is equivalent to lunacy. For example, remember that corona thing that popped up last February? Good thing the W.H.O., the C.C.P., and the G7 are all transparent, ethical, and incor-
Pixabay
Woman with long blond hair reaches toward rainbow.
possible to alleviate the danger. What, do you think a large segment of the population would just decide to ignore every single rule and regulation, show a blatant disregard for the personal health and safety of others, and sentence literally everyone to a constant succession of protracted lockdowns barring people from seeing their loved ones, all because they were slightly inconvenienced?! Yeah, sure, and I bet Ohio State won’t win the NCAA Basketball Championship this year, either. Come on now, just the thought that so many people could be so self-centered and entitled is enough to make me cynical during what has
corporate interests, tax breaks for the wealthy, and the fossil fuel industry. Thank God our country’s well-informed, open-minded, and socially-egalitarian voting base knew better. Honestly, though, these last few months were so completely uneventful that I am having a great deal of difficulty trying to come up with anything to write about. Well, I guess there was that time when Hugo Boss and Volkswagen pulled out of China completely after it was revealed that local state-owned manufacturers were using forced slave-labour to produce and assemble their products. “Considering both compa-
poverty. As well, Brazil illegalized logging the Amazon Rainforest before reinvesting in nature preservation, and Vladimir Putin got peacefully overthrown in a democratic revolution before he was subsequently imprisoned in the Siberian Tundra for his countless crimes against humanity and the Russian people. And who could forget when Canada won a record number of Gold medals at the Tokyo Olympics which happened to feature no corrupt judges or controversies surrounding alleged bribes for the first time in modern history? I sure won’t. My favourite moment of all, however, was when Jeff Bezos had his gazillion
zation of the LGBTQ+ community, and rehauling a broken criminal-justice system, all of which turned out great since the bureaucrats in charge actually allocated the proper amount of time and resources to ensure their success for once. Other than that, though, I can’t think of any other significant events, let alone those that have negatively altered the course of modern life forever. I guess our leadership, media, culture, and economic system are just too damn efficient and trustworthy for average people like you or me to complain about. Oh well, guess I’ll go back to playing undisputed and polished
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What, do you think a large segment of the population would just decide to ignore every single rule and regulation, show a blatant disregard for the personal health and safety of others, and sentence literally everyone to a constant succession of protracted lockdowns barring people from seeing their loved ones, all because they were slightly inconvenienced?! – Matt Thomson
ruptible organizations that have only the most humanitarian interests in mind when dealing with serious threats to global health, or Lord knows what could’ve happened! I know it’s silly, but just imagine if a bunch of morally bankrupt and criminally inept morons who valued stock prices over human life were in charge of things. Boy, if that were the case, we’d still probably be dealing with the ever-present existential threat of disease and pestilence! (hahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahha...............) Even if that did happen, which, come on, TOTALLY never could, I bet we’d see everyone in this great society of ours step up to the plate and do everything
been objectively the best time ever to be alive. This is reality, people, not that one scene in Jaws where the mayor refuses to shut down the beach which is then attended by hundreds of people despite the presence of a literal man-eating monster for the sake of short-term profit. Speaking of leadership, I am SO glad that Moe, Kenney, and Ford aren’t provincial premiers anymore. I mean, could you imagine if [ALMOST ANYONE ELSE] didn’t win those elections instead? I bet our vital social programs would have reached a critical level of under-funding and over-extension while the judicial system’s renewed focus on mental health and rehabilitation would have been shelved in service to
nies have a very dark history using state-sanctioned slave labour to manufacture their goods and cut costs during the 1930s and 40s, we really shouldn’t be surprised,” said Dr. Jhinglheimer-Schmitt, Professor of Corporate History at the incorruptible Stanford University, during a rousing game of lawn darts in his spacious backyard. “I mean,” he laughed, “It’s not like they’d display an unprecedented lack of self-awareness to the media and then continue to double down on prisoner manufacturing. These are private multi-national corporations, for gosh sakes, not the mafia!” The first months of 2021 also saw the wealth-gap hit an all-time record low as billions of people across the world were lifted out of
dollars worth of assets seized after a federal investigation revealed his company’s systemic abuse and exploitation of warehouse employees, all on the same night as the Montreal Expos’ first major league game in 15 years. Oh yeah, and Donald Trumps unanimous impeachment in January was cool to see, too. Uh, what else happened? I guess there was that time Hong Kong gained total independence from China during the freest election in the city’s history. Or that one week when the federal government passed a series of practical social reforms tackling the systemic discrimination of BIPOC and disabled individuals, adequate healthcare facilities to treat mental illness, further de-stigmati-
digital masterpiece, Cyberpunk 2077, on my $10k PC in my affordable house while my friends and family converse face-to-face with each other in close proximity as my significant other hangs’ pictures of my 2020 graduation ceremony on the walls next to my perfect 2021 March Madness bracket before I leave my bustling neighbourhood to go to work in-person at my steady and well-paying job for which I am adequately compensated throughout my standard four day work week until I retire after a long and fulfilling career. [Writer’s note: These past four months have completely crushed my soul and I have been left a shattered husk of what was once a human being]
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon | 5
news
Tips for the wealthy from a broke university student Just eat the rich
gillian massie web writer Financial advice columns seem to be lacking a diversified opinion in recent news articles. Since many billionaires have taken it upon themselves to give us their opinions on the dos and don’ts of saving and spending money, I thought I would give them my own perspective from a broke college student and what I would suggest being the best ways to spend their money. 1.) Surround yourself with successful people, but make sure their moral corruption is disguised If your own success is not enough, look to those around you. Success can come in many different forms, but by diversifying your pool of individuals, anything from the Hollywood elite to different corporate CEO’s
Jewish Ledger
The stock exchange big board
will suffice. Remember, you can be friends with the most morally corrupt people possible, just make sure nobody finds out! 2.) Not spending money is the same as making money
Groceries are expensive, and you may want to cut down on your grocery bills. Fine wine and organic strawberries will just not fit in your budget. I suggest picking up a 24 pack of ramen noodles
cause its time to get active. With bike lanes popping up all over the city, now is the time to monopolize on the beautiful weather and get outside. Perhaps, bust the pony out of the stables if you
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Remember, you can be friends with the most morally corrupt people possible, just make sure nobody finds out. – Gillian Massie
As a broke university student, it is very important to create a budget. So, for your own personal sake, fire your gourmet chef and get in the kitchen. All of those extra funds that you saved by firing your chef can go towards the taxes you did not pay last year.
from Walmart. Ramen is about 13 cents a pack, and you can be eating for the low, low, low, price of $142.65 a year! 3.) Don’t show off, show up Put that private jet in your garage! Fire your pilot and your chauffeur! Sell your Porsche be-
are really feeling adventurous. I am sure nobody at the office will complain about your furry friend. If you are really into life on the road, you may even consider van life. After the costs of renovating your van, you would only have to worry about the cost of gas to get
you around. 4.) Avoid any keeping up with the Joneses attitudes I know that this one will be hard for you millionaires, but it is important that you try not to compare your wealth to other people’s wealth. I know it can be difficult to not buy a new vacation home when one of your fellow millionaires posts about their trip on Facebook, but it is all about self control. If you do feel the urge to spend money on another vacation home, buy it for me! 5.) Always remember that everyone should live by the 4/20/69 rule Forget the 50/30/20 rule and make way for the 4/20/69 rule! When everyone is taxed appropriately, we will all be working four days a week, for 20 hours a day, with a minimum wage of $69.
Ken Teegardin
Calculator and spreadsheet.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon | 6
news
Ad Hum pit holds secret more horrible than the carpet
Fundraiser for exorcism imminent gillian massie web writer The University of Regina’s dirtiest – and I do mean dirty – secret. Terrifying facts are emerging about the University of Regina’s Ad Hum Pit previously being a pool. Records appeared early last week about the truth behind the administrative and humanities building’s initial purpose and why it was covered up for the past 50 years. The administrative and humanities building student study pit has always been one of the university’s most disgusting parts. The carpet is threadbare after years of wear from university students, and the smell of the carpet is comparable to the smell of dead gophers. However, the uncomfortable cement seating of the Pit once served as the foundation of the pool, and the stench has meaning. As the carpet continues to lose its threads, its secrets begin to break loose. The previous pool has a haunting secret that the university has been trying to cover up for years: the Queen City Seniors’ Synchronize Swimming Team practiced at the pool, and allegedly Team Captain Beverly Birmingham’s ghost led to the facility’s untimely closure. The pool was the perfect depth for senior synchronized swimming events, as it was so shallow that the elderly could rest on the bottom rather than treading water. It was active with many happy swimmers for many years and included many extra services, including swimming lessons and aquacise. The Queen City Seniors’ Women’s Synchro-
nized Swimming team practiced at the pool. The group consisted of women aged 60+ lead by Regina icon Beverly “Bucktooth” Birmingham, famous for her very prominent two front teeth. The women on the team had met at the Senior’s aquacise class and eventually formed the synchronized swimming team. The team gained national attention within their first few years of performance with their signature move, “The Flying Gopher.” The move consisted of the team tossing Birmingham into the air while she posed in a gopher-esque
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Nationals in 1974. With the signature stunt came legions of fans in support of Bucktooth Birmingham and the Screeching Seniors. The Queen City Seniors became the spokesperson for the Victor Black Box Gopher Trap. The team was headed straight for the Gold Medal in the 1976 Olympics in Montreal. The Queen City Seniors, now dubbed Canada’s National Synchronized Swimming Team, was a crucial competitor to represent Canada and to beat their rival competitors, Bomb-Voyage, from the Soviet Union. There had been ten-
half. Finally, on the day of the performance, many Canadians gathered to watch the event that would forever be known as a catastrophe. The event commenced as the Queen City Seniors began their routine. The Seniors had been practicing tossing Birmingham higher than ever in the routine, and once they reached the Flying Gopher, they threw Bucktooth Beverly so high and so far that she came down with a smack, teeth first on the edge of the pool. They had to stop the routine to aid Beverly out of the pool and took her to the hospital. The
The administrative and humanities building student study pit has always been one of the university’s most disgusting parts. The carpet is threadbare after years of wear from university students, and the smell of the carpet is comparable to the smell of dead gophers.
– Gillian Massie position, and the other half of the women caught her. But Birmingham did not stop there. What made the stunt genuinely unique was that Birmingham would let out a high-pitched gopher screech in mid-air. “We were worried we would lose aesthetic points on the scoreboard when we first decided to incorporate the screech into the routine,” explained Head Coach of the Queen City Seniors. “However, taking the risk proved to bring home the hardware.” And bring home the hardware it did. The Queen City Seniors took home first place at
sion between the two teams ever since the International Synchronized Swimming Event the year prior. The Queen City Seniors had beaten out the Soviets for the gold medal by just a hair, and the Soviets disagreed with the Canadian’s infamous stunt move. “The Flying Gopher is a despicable display in the synchronized swimming event,” said the Bomb-Voyage Captain “if you want to screech like that, go to the opera house!” Tensions were high for the Queen City Seniors who were experiencing intense pressure to perform well on Canada’s be-
Queen City Seniors were unfortunately disqualified because they did not complete their routine. When Beverly emerged from the hospital, her buckteeth had been hammered to a very normal size, to the public’s shock. Bucktooth Beverly had become just Beverly, and the pristine performance record of the Queen City Seniors depleted after such an embarrassing performance at the Olympics. With the Seniors’ old age and depleting performance in synchronized swimming, the team dissolved as the ladies entered senior homes, eventually passing away. It was said that old Bev-
erly became very bitter and angry about the experience at the Olympics and held the grudge until her untimely death only a few years later in 1978. Strange disturbances were recorded by lifeguards at the pool, ironically after Birmingham’s death. When lifeguards were closing at the end of the night, they could hear abrupt screeches in the night. “Sometimes when we come to open the pool the next day, the pool is overflowing,” explained a young lifeguard. “We always make sure to turn it off at the end of the day, but it is always miraculously on the next morning.” The pool’s untimely closure resulted from the gopher infestation in the early 80s. After the hiring and firing of multiple extermination teams, public health experts were stumped on how the pool attracted so many gophers. Even with the university’s funding to preserve the pool, it was eventually closed due to the facility’s rapidly increasing number of rodents. While many believe the rodent infestation was due to the poorly made building foundation, many pool patrons and lifeguards think that it was truly the Bucktooth Banshee that caused the pool to close less than a decade after Birmingham’s death. The University of Regina has held the secret for years, and it is finally time that the Birmingham Banshee is acknowledged. Administrative staff and the J School have been rallying to budget for the ghost’s exorcism so they can finally get rid of the horrid gopher stench.
Pixabay
Woman with long blond hair reaches toward rainbow.
arts & culture
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editor: julia peterson aandc@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021
Quiz time!
What house are you going to live in based on your personality?
reese estwick & gillian massie staff writer & web writer After a full year of working and taking classes from home, we realize how important a clean and quiet space can be to achieve your academic goals. Everybody has their dream home, and we have had lots of time to manifest what we want that to look like. With rising tuition and athletic fees reinstated at the University of Regina, getting our dream homes does not seem to be happening anytime soon – but it is fun to dream, isn’t it? In lieu of atrociously stereotypical and non-sensical Buzzfeed quizzes, Reese and I have constructed what we consider to be the most telling quiz on what your ideal home will be based on your personality. With the potential to go back to school in person in the fall, I think we should take the time to enjoy our own homes, because we are going to be really sick of the bed bugs crawling out of the Ad Hum Pitt. 1. What kind of art would suit your dream home the best? a. Frida Kahlo or Salvador Dali – colourful and surrealist art or self portrait b. Nothing, I just want a white wall c. Bob Ross – scenic painting that capture the beauty of nature d. Gargoyle statues, please! 2. What was the first thing you bought at the start of the pandemic? a. Record player, paint, and new plants. Things to do and to take care of. b. Cleaning products c. Outdoor furniture so I can spend more time outside while staying home d. A pipe organ, so everyone can hear my sounds of mourning 3. If you could domesticate any animal and keep it as a pet, what would it be? a. Zebra b. Polar bear c. Grizzly bear d. Vulture 4. What secret room do you want in your house? a. Butterfly conservatory b. Private office c. Library with book ladder d. Observatory 5. What is your ideal study environment? a. First floor Archer with background noise (if a jazz band were to make an appearance, I wouldn’t complain) b. In my own home office with extreme noise cancelling headphones and a black coffee c. On the deck with the sweet sounds of the wind and birds, possibly the buzzing of the bees d. At night because - what’s sleep? I am nocturnal. 6. What famous movie vehicle do you want as your daily driver? a. Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo b. Bumblebee from Transformers c. Tow Mater from Cars d. Gru’s Monstrous Machine from Despicable Me 7. What instructions do you leave for the Uber Eats driver? a. “Don’t knock, just come in and put it on the counter, I’ll be in the bath when you get here. Thanks!” b. “Knock 3 times – only 3. I’ll get it. Thank you kindly.” c. I’ll save the delivery fee and just roast some wieners on the fire. d. “Put it on the second-floor balcony, you can climb the vines. Good luck.” 8. Where are you eating on campus? [full disclosure: we are exempting Global Village because of roaches hehe] a. Robin’s b. Extreme Pita c. Timmie’s d. The Owl 9. Where is your favourite study spot on campus? a. Egg chairs in Archer by the elevators b. Empty classrooms c. Campion College d. Ad Hum Pit 10. What does your ideal backyard entail? a. Vine covered pergola b. Pond with fish c. Stone fire pizza oven d. Shrub-carved maze All in all, when picking your dream home, there are many factors – ten, to be exact – that you must take into account. To find out which home belongs to you, add up all your answers and match the letter you have the most of to the house. Ta-da! You don’t even need a realtor – you’re welcome!
Personalities: Wonderous Bungalow (mostly a’s) Is your home boring you? Is it bland and boring? Well, the Wondrous Bungalow is the space for you! With something to look at in every corner, you will always be enticed with your home. This maximalist home has brightly colored walls (sometimes in multiple colors) and is strategically decorated with staple accent pieces. Mixing and matching is a welcomed form of design in this home! _oliverh_ (Flickr)
A photo of an open concept dining-and-living room with a dramatic beaded light fixture and gray marble floors.
Elegant Flat (mostly b’s) Are you constantly over-worked and living a life filled with chaos? When you come home at the end of the day, do you just want to see blank, white walls that make you feel calm? Well, then this Elegant Flat is for you! You are a person who just wants to be in a zen, blank space that you can decompress in. Some say you’re boring and dull, some say you are like Kim Kardashian – take your pick.
pandasilk (Fickr)
A minimalist house with white couches, wood floors, some red vases and white walls and ceilings.
Woodsy Nook (mostly c’s) Do you get excited at the thought of the colour brown and red plaid flannel – clearly you do because your dream home is the Woodsy Nook! You love to be one with nature and the smell of wet grass and tree bark really tickles your fancy! Filled with plaid throw pillows, lots of oak, and a firepit for a stove, this woodsy home makes you feel like you are one with the forest, even if you are just in the suburbs. ConstructionDealMkting (Flickr)
A low-ceilinged wooden house with a couple of comfortable armchairs, a bookcase and a fire in the grate.
Eerie Mansion (mostly d’s) It’s frickin’ bats! You love Halloween! The Eerie Mansion is for those of you who like a more mysterious decor. With incorporations of Gothic architecture, you may not necessarily want scary gargoyles loitering your torch lit halls, but broad archways and stone siding definitely appeal to you! Perhaps you will include dim lighting by only using candles in the halls, or perhaps there will be a morgue in the backyard, who knows?! Onasill (Flickr)
An aggressively goth house with ornate carved ceilings, a chandelier, a wooden dining room table with candles, and a massive fireplace.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
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arts & culture
8
Flamingoes are yuck
In defence of dancing down the street, and other childish pursuits
hila smith contributor If you’ve lived in my neighbourhood, you might have seen me dancing down the street, twirling around the dog’s leash, humming along to whatever music I had queued up. Half the people in my college town probably thought I was out of my mind. It’s worth it. The older I get and the more settled I feel in the contours of my life, the more I want to throw myself into ridiculous, childish things whenever I can. Yes, I WILL dance – badly – because it’s so much more fun than walking, and I don’t care who knows I’m having fun. Yes, I DO want to go down that slide, watch that cartoon, put ALL the sprinkles on my baking, splatter that paint, wear clashing colours and mismatched socks. I’m setting out to capture that brazen, wide-eyed excitement about the little things we act like only kids should have. And who’s it hurting? Growing up, when I should have enjoyed these things the first time around, I let myself get taken in by this weird sort of shame –
Piquels
A flock of flamingos stand out in front of a dark background.
that growing up is good, so acting young is bad. I was five when I realized Winnie the Pooh was for kids, and immediately decided I hated everything about it. I went from watching it every Saturday morning to never playing that VHS again. At my junior school library, I got told off for reading an awesome book that was tagged as fifthgrade level – when I was in fifth grade.
I tried, and mostly failed, to style myself after the adult women I knew; dignified women, who people respected, who would be listened to and trusted and could get what they wanted when they argued for it. And while I do enjoy the respect I get now as an adult, I have to say dignity is overrated. When someone would catch me dancing or playing on the climbing gym in the park after
dark, I used to feel the need to justify it. “I have a job, I pay my taxes – so what if I’m currently hanging upside-down on the monkey bars?” But now, I think that’s missing the point. Enjoying this sort of childish fun isn’t something that you “earn” by hitting these milestones of adult life, and it’s not something that needs to be justified at all. It’s
just, on its own, a sweet and good thing in the world. During the pandemic, I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out with an autistic woman. C. is in her 20s, like me, and she’s a big fan of these sorts of things too. She loves the Toy Story movies, Mickey Mouse, VeggieTales, and, of course, Winnie the Pooh, and she’ll watch her DVDs on repeat every day. She’s a huge fan of everything pink, especially flamingoes – except for eating (“What’s for dinner?” Flamingoes?” Flamingoes are yuck!” is a joke she particularly likes to tell.) These days, when we go out on walks, she’s twirling her orange jump rope while I skip with my blue one. C. doesn’t have a job, and she doesn’t do her own taxes – and she’s no less an adult than I am, no less worthy of respect and consideration. The ways we choose to enjoy the world don’t take away from that. So, if you’re staring at me while I’m grinning and skipping and twirling down the street, watch out – I might well ask you to join in for a spin. Life’s just better when you’re dancing.
#StillNotOverIt: The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Sitcom shines, thanks to stellar cast and razor-sharp writing
florence hwang arts writer
Comedian Tina Fey is best known for her dead-on impression of US Republican Sarah Palin. Fey, a reputable actress in her own right, honed her comedic writing skills as the head writer for Saturday Night Live from 1997 to 2006. When The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt came out in 2015, she had already set a high standard with her first sitcom, 30 Rock (2006 – 2013, 2020). Unlike 30 Rock, Kimmy Schmidt had a relatively unknown lead actor and supporting cast. The most famous actor was Jane Krakowski, a fellow SNL cast member, also known for her supporting role in the 1990s hit Ally McBeal. When Fey took a chance on casting lesser-known actors, her gamble paid off. The cast received numerous awards for acting and writing, including Writers Guild of America Episodic Comedy Writing in 2017. The dialogue was full of razor-sharp wit, and the show also engaged the viewers with numerous humourous call-backs or inside jokes. In total, the sitcom picked up 17 awards and multiple nominations in various categories. Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper) was a young woman who was rescued from a cult. For the past 15 years, she had lived in an underground bunker with no contact with the outside world. When rescued, she started a new life in New York City. She moved into her first apartment, which she shared with roommate Titus Adromedon (Tituss Burgess), a gay Black man. She landed her first job as a
babysitter for Jacqueline Voorhees (Jane Krakowski). Her job was more like a personal assistant and often a sounding board for a billionaire’s wife. Fey ran with the idea that Schmidt had literally lived “under a rock” for the past 15 years. Most of Schmidt’s pop culture references were allusions to the 1990s. This award-winning cast poked fun at these dated references and played up the main character’s innocence and ignorance. Many of these references created space for
nostalgic flashbacks. Another reason for the show’s success was the cast’s great chemistry: the relationships were authentic. They didn’t miss a beat in setting up and delivering punchlines. Fey also made cameo appearances as a psychologist by day but a drunk with boundary issues by night. Kimmy Schmidt had incisive social commentary on interracial, employer-employee, and parent-(step) child relationships. The show also had universal themes
that were relatable for most people, like figuring out life as an adult. As the show progressed through its four seasons, the storylines grew more complex and the characters more nuanced. The writers and cast were not afraid to deal with issues surrounding diversity and sexuality. As a gay Black man, Titus struggled to find work as a singer and actor while looking for his life partner. He and the apartment landlord, Lillian Kaushtupper (Carol Kane), often
schooled Schmidt in life lessons and social etiquette. As Schmidt became more “woke”, the show had to move from her receiving her high school equivalent education to adjusting to working a full-time “real” job in an office like Google. While the show did run its course, Kimmy Schmidt will be remembered as a quirky sitcom that wasn’t afraid of delving into some serious issues, but never took itself too seriously.
Información Netflix (Flickr)
A still from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, where Titus Adromedon (Tituss Burgess), wearing an Iron Man costume, and Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper), wearing a pink outfit with a yellow cardigan, walk down the street in New York City holding hands.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
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9
4 times Ryan Murphy sent gay rights back in time Revisiting some… iconic?… tv moments
marty grande-sherbert staff writer For quarantine reasons, I watched a lot of Netflix this year. This meant that I watched a lot of shows I never thought I would watch, even ones that I didn’t really like, simply because there was nothing else going on. Nowhere is there a better example of this – of watching something just kind of because it’s there – than Ryan Murphy’s Glee. Just kidding – I did not rewatch Glee in quarantine. I maintain a small amount of love for myself. However, I did watch other shows by Ryan Murphy: namely, Ratched, which came out during quarantine, and American Horror Story, something that was popular around the same time as Glee but that, unlike Glee, I never watched. I decided to give it a try while I was staying home all year, binging it with my roommate since I am a horror fan, after all. Honestly, parts of it were engaging. I enjoyed the first season a lot. But it had a certain...quality. It was bold in a way that was sometimes shocking, sometimes funny, and sometimes just kind of uncomfortable. In a word, it was exploitative. This is a word that I later realized almost totally describes Ryan Murphy’s creative process. To be honest, when I first started watching AHS, I didn’t know it was a Ryan Murphy show or that Ryan Murphy basically had a blank cheque from Netflix that lets him make whatever show he wants over and over. I just thought to myself as I was watching “this is kind of like if someone did Glee but made it a horror series.” Lo and behold, that’s exactly what I was looking at. Not only that, but when I watched the second season of AHS (“Asylum”), it was after I had seen Ratched. And I thought to myself, “wait a minute, did Ryan Murphy just remake this when he did Ratched?” Like, he just called up Sarah Paulson again? It was uncannily simi-
Gage Skidmore (Flickr)
Ryan Murphy, a white man wearing a yellow cap and a black-and-white checked shirt, sits at a table at Comic-Con.
lar in so many ways. The more I thought about these shows – Ratched, Glee, AHS, and another show, Scream Queens, that I had seen a little bit of – the more I thought about how influential they were culturally. Specifically for people my age, and specifically for gay people my age. Like, how many of us came out while Glee was airing? For a lot of my classmates, I’m pretty positive Glee was the only measure of interaction with a gay person they had at the time. It’s laughable but also totally affected the environment I was in during my adolescence and the messages I internalized about myself. There’s actually a meme going around on
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generation he raised on Glee. 1. Gratuitous Sexualized Violence – the Gays Must Expect It This applies specifically to AHS, and Ratched to a certain extent. Ryan Murphy has a real issue with fixating on violence in a way that is, yes, horrific as intended, but also uncomfortably graphic (trying not to say “exploitative” too many times here). There are things in AHS that I really don’t even want to mention, but whenever they happen, you sort of sit there and wonder what the point of all that was. The violence is also always bizarrely eroticized, right down to people in Murder House being killed by a guy in a
dragging ourselves out of this era of gay trauma porn, but Murphy has not helped. He’s kind of part of why we’re in it. Oh, by the way, apparently Murphy’s latest project is a Jeffrey Dahmer documentary. Literally the worst person for the job in what will absolutely be a sensationalization of more sexual violence. Can’t wait. 2. Sexy Lesbians Only Yeah, Ryan Murphy shows have lesbians in them… kind of. Sarah Paulson does a terrific job in both AHS: Asylum and Ratched, don’t get me wrong. In the same way, Naya Rivera’s performance in Glee was the only reason I even watched the damn thing. But it’s not the individual stories that
I don’t even think it’s conscious; Ryan Murphy just really does a number on a young person. – Marty Grande-Sherbert
Twitter right now (in response to Lil Nas X’s new “Montero” music video) where people are saying “back in my day, all we had for representation was this” with screenshots from Glee. AHS and Ratched aren’t marketed as family shows, but I know a lot of teenagers watched AHS, and I know that the exploitative nature of Murphy’s writing is a common thread through all of them. I get that the things Murphy does are probably meant to poke at the way our culture already is, I do. But the effect he had on a whole generation of theatre gays along with his power at Netflix makes him truly a force to be reckoned with in a way I simply do not like. I have decided to compile a short list of grievances with the way Ryan Murphy handles media and how it affects the
gimp suit (Why?? For what reason??) Much of this violence is enacted against young women (no surprises here) or gay men, which sets a pretty disturbing precedent for desensitization and satirization of a kind of violence that does in fact happen often. With how much trauma Murphy puts his queer characters through – conversion therapy, lobotomies, constant bullying, being disowned – it really seems like it’s “the norm” to be treated like this after coming out. For a lot of people who only had the culture around them to understand themselves, without the benefit of any supportive community, this message can become internalized. Too many of my peers accepted too much abuse because they figured that it was their lot in life. We are finally
bother me – it’s the way that, while there are gay men in Murphy’s stories who look different from one another, these women and their partners never seem to be outside the realm of attractiveness for a man who might be watching. The lesbian character in AHS honestly does not even pass the Bechdel test and seems to exist for the sole purpose of being a man’s victim. Again with the gratuitous violence for violence’s sake. There’s a serious problem in media generally with lesbian voyeurism, and because of the hold Murphy has on TV, it seems like it became more deeply entrenched. I’d like to see a single butch on television in my lifetime who doesn’t exist as a misogynistic gag. 3. Homosexuality and Pedophilia in Glee Does anyone remember how
Glee had this character – the old drama teacher or something – who turned out to be a predator and got fired? He didn’t even disappear from the show after that, he kept showing up to be the butt of jokes. What was that? Murphy is really not above joking about anything, but the creation of this fruity drama teacher with the sweater around his neck who is, surprise, a sex offender...that looks really bad. People still believe this about gay men – there was literally a preacher in Regina talking about this last week – and for Murphy to make it a plot point in a show that young people watched was irresponsible to put it lightly. I really think about this a lot. It didn’t need to be done – why was it? 4. Kurt Hummel Specifically Respect to Chris Colfer (he has been through enough), there is nothing wrong with Kurt or anyone who is like him. The performance of “Single Ladies” absolutely haunts me and thousands of others, because again, many of our peers thought that’s what we were all into, but that’s water under the bridge. It’s the way Glee made Kurt the focal point of the entire narrative in a show full of characters who, frankly, were dealing with a lot more shit. I really feel like the microcosm of Glee set a generation up for years to come to centre white gay men in discussions about homophobic violence all the time. I don’t even think it’s conscious; Ryan Murphy just really does a number on a young person. In a way, Ryan Murphy shows are ahead of their time – but, like, in a really bad way. They predict (or maybe contribute to) harmful cultural fixations in a way that would be kind of clever if it didn’t have so many real-world consequences. Who in this room has been personally victimized by this man’s writing? My hand is raised.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
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10
Restaurant review: Utopia Café A local dining establishment with many delicious options
florence hwang arts writer Last fall, I saw a friend’s Facebook posts of food from the Utopia Café. The desserts looked amazing. I wanted to go and see if it tasted as good as it looked. Because of school, I’ve been too busy to think about going out. Because of COVID-19, I wasn’t able to go out when I had the time. I had promised the Carillon to do a review on the restaurant in January. By the time I actually went, it was March. I texted an old elementary school friend of mine to come along for the experience, and she happily agreed to give it a go. The weather was nice, so I decided to walk to the café. (I had driven by it many times but never walked there.) I still managed to miss it somehow. It’s located at #102-106 Victoria Avenue East, a block east of Arcola Avenue. I arrived at noon, right when the café opened. I noticed a guy run out from the café to his parked vehicle. There is the option to order and pick up food. When I entered the restaurant, it was empty. Within five minutes, a couple came in and placed their order. I ordered my food, then took a seat to wait for my friend. By the time we left a couple of hours later, the place was nearly full (within social distancing guidelines, of course). The café was surprisingly busy on a Sunday afternoon. Tables were set apart to follow safe social distancing regulations. Mind you, it was the first day of spring, so perhaps people were
Florence Hwang
A piece of avocado toast with a runny egg on top.
itching to get out and socialize, especially with some restrictions being loosened in light of the pandemic. In preparation for this adventure, I studied the online menu. It offered an impressive array of primarily Asian-style snack foods and beverages. On the menu were more Western or Canadian foods, such as sandwiches, coffees, teas, cakes, and desserts. The prices were reasonable. But the one thing entirely unique to
and mango while my friend chose strawberry and mango. We were pleasantly surprised with the flavourful combinations. Taking that first bite brought me back to Taiwan when I first tried bingsoo. It was light, fluffy, yet somehow creamy without the heaviness of traditional ice cream. I loved the sliced almonds and mini marshmallows added on top. These toppings added contrasting soft and crunchy textures to this dish, making it more enjoyable. The
what companies offered the flavouring for this dessert. The other place I have had amazing bingsoo was at the Chinese Aberdeen Mall in Richmond, B.C. It was in one of the kiosks in the food court. The small booth displayed photos of the different kinds of bingsoo, which was served in plastic bowls. My sister and I took a chance to try it out. It was amazing. Utopia Café came pretty close. (Side note: If you like this
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With the weather warming up, Utopia Café is an option for people looking for a place to try if they want a non-dairy summer treat to beat the heat. – Florence Hwang
this café was bingsoo, a shaved ice dessert typically from Asia. When I say “shaved ice,” I’m not referring to Hawaiian-style shaved ice or snow-cones. Snow-cones have larger ice granules than Asian shaved ice, which is more like snow – it’s very fine, light, and fluffy. Plus, Asian shaved ice is usually made from large blocks of ice. Then, flavours and toppings can be added to the shaved ice. There are fruit options, such as strawberry, mango, blueberry, matcha red bean, milo, and Oreo. I tried matcha red bean
matcha, red bean, and mango flavours were slightly sweet but not overpowering each other. This combination of these three toppings was complementary. I only ordered a small, but it was pretty filling. One of my friends who also visited Taiwan said they knew someone who wanted to start a business serving bingsoo in the United States. He talked about them doing research on what machinery was needed, where to buy these specialized types of blocks of ice to use in the machine, and
bingsoo but want to branch out and try even more flavours, head to Saskatoon’s Snowy Village. Most of their menu is around this specific dessert. Their servings are pretty big, so you may need to bring a friend along.) At Utopia Café, I also ordered a savoury dish – the avocado egg toast (and no, I’m not being a stereotypical millennial – I just like avocados!) I wasn’t sure what to expect with this order. The order came with two slices of bread stacked on top of each other, covered in a generous
layer of smashed avocado. It was served with a soft sunny-side egg sprinkled with pepper. The runny egg yolk and avocado with the bread were delicious. I hadn’t had anything to eat yet that day, so perhaps that’s why this toast was tasty. I had had avocado toast before, which I enjoyed. Adding that egg added another dimension to the flavour profile and texture. If avocado and egg aren’t your thing, you can have other toast with sweet options, like Oreo, mango, or peanut banana. I still don’t understand the Asian fascination with milk bread toast. In some other Asian-style cafes I’ve visited, their menus have entire sections dedicated to milk toast options. My friend enjoyed her bingsoo. She said she had never had anything like it before. The dessert looks like the texture of coconut but doesn’t taste like that at all. She was smart in ordering a latte to warm herself up after eating the shaved ice (although it was the first day of spring, the weather was still a bit chilly). She did enjoy the latte, too. With the weather warming up, Utopia Café is an option for people looking for a place to try if they want a non-dairy summer treat to beat the heat. Next time, I will try one of their many beverages and maybe one of their cakes. I’ll have to study the menu again because there are just too many options.
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editor: ethan butterfield sports@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021
A history of disappointment: quarterbacks of the Chicago Bears A cut(ler) below the rest
ethan butterfield sports editor
Editor’s Note: I would like to thank long-time friend and amazing individual John Lopekky for helping in the inspiration of this article. Given the massive outcry that came from fans of the Chicago Bears with regards to the social media announcement of the new number one starter, Andy Dalton, one would think that the Bears have had such a rich history of quarterbacks (QB) that such a vocal response would be justified. However, if one looks closer, these fans are upset because they’re
Other than the eternally worshipped Jim McMahon (I’m only half joking, by the way), the Chicago Bears starting quarterbacks just ooze mediocrity. Let’s do a quick run down the list, shall we? Kyle Orton, Jim Miller, Rex Grossmen, Matt Barkley (technically he was in 2016), and who could forget “Mr. Can’t Be Bothered” Jay Cutler. I’m sure that after listing off each of these names, Bears fans everywhere are rolling their eyes and hoping for that 8-8 season to get itself over with. So, where do we start? How do we start? Well, a good place would be that of Rex Grossman.
However, backing up a bit, one cannot forget the man, the myth, the legend, Jay Cutler. Never before has there been a player who has completely accepted their own inevitably as an ineffective player quite like Cutler has. Listen, there have certainly been players/QB’s that haven’t put their all into a game. Whether it be through injury or a lack of heart, whatever the situation, it’s just the way the chips fell that day. Cutler, on the other hand, would just quit competing in games altogether – this especially being the case during games against the Green Bay Packers. The dude
tioned earlier, there are certainly other ball huckers that were unfit for the starting position. I mean, Matt Barkley? Yeah, okay, he only played six games during the season and the other two QB’s were injured, but come on! There wasn’t anybody you could’ve traded for? I’m sure Bears fans would’ve appreciated it. However, as we’ve established, this is not an organization that cares about its fans. If they did, they wouldn’t have signed Andy Dalton. Or drafted Mitchell Tribusky. Let’s just stop for a second and appreciate Mitchell Tribusky for what he was able to bring to
I’m almost certain will become just another on a long list of bad decisions by the Bears head office. I understand that they were also trying to acquire Russell Wilson via massie trade, but … they should’ve tried harder. Not to sound too disrespectful to Andy Dalton, but if he manages to play well enough to get the team beyond 8-8 this upcoming season, I’ll be shocked (okay, so it was fairly disrespectful). All of this to say whatever is going on in Chicago needs to end. Whatever the decision-making process is, whatever they think they see in talent, whatever
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Never before has there been a player who has completely accepted their own inevitably as an ineffective player quite like Cutler has. – Ethan Butterfield
tired, not because they’ve been betrayed time and time again. Now, if you know anything about the quarterback position in the NFL, you know it’s an absolutely vital one that cannot be overlooked. If you go into the regular season with someone that sucks under-centre, then you’re gonna have a bad season. With that in mind, you pretty much now have the full picture when looking at the Bears organization in its entirety – just one big terrible season.
Few other Chicago Bear field generals really measure up to the level of “basic” that Mr. Grossman achieved. Now I know some NFL fans are thinking “Ethan, what the hell are you talking about? Grossman led the Bears to a Super Bowl berth!” Well, that may be true, but he also served the majority of his career afterwards as a backup QB. Basically, it was a descent from greatness that was so fast Matt Ryan would be impressed.
would just be playing football, like any QB, and then as soon as the score got a bit distant, he would just kinda stop. Not like, stop playing altogether, but start playing with a more “Yep, this is my job and I’m just working for the weekend. Oop, Green Bay scored again, guess it’s time to throw this ball again. Oooooh noooo, an interception. Now I get to sit down.” Cutler isn’t the only quarterback at fault though. As men-
the table for the Bears. Like helping the team get to the postseason in what was going to be a magical 2018 for the franchise. But, you know, field goals are hard. Other than that, Tribusky started to suffer the effects of any QB that’s been with Chicago for an extended period of time: lose. Then, those losses started to pile up and we find ourselves where we are currently: with new number one starter Andy Dalton. Andy Dalton – a name that
worked in 1985 when they won their only Super Bowl, it just needs to stop. Things are just getting bad now. Look, I know that the later years of the Bear’s NFL legacy have been truly terrible, but there needs to be time to rebuild. Don’t be the Jacksonville Jaguars or the Denver Broncos where you think a QB is going to solve your problems. Focus on the team as a whole and work from there… or don’t, just a suggestion.
Pixy
The NFL logo for the Chicago Bears.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
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sports
Olympics in 2021 Uncertainty in international sports
sarah nakonechny sports writer Although many of us were disappointed that the Summer Olympics were cancelled in 2020 due to the heightened COVID-19 pandemic, none of us were surprised. However, as things begin to slowly get better around the world, action is now being taken towards a 2021 Summer Olympics which is scheduled to be held in Tokyo, Japan. Various parties have been meeting regarding the potential of both the Summer Olympics and the Paralympic Games as athletes continue to do their best to train in the current circumstances. Each is determined to make their respective countries proud whenever they are able to compete on the national stage again. Given the current state of the world’s COVID-19 situation and the large variety of variants that are also emerging, it has been decided that, while the games will move forward to take place in July 2021, the Olympics and Paralympics will have no spectators in attendance. Although this will be upsetting for many, it is what is needed to ensure the safety of those who are participating. A comment given from Presi-
Pixabay
The Olympic rings featuring different athletes and events.
dent Hashimoto Seiko states “the essentials of the games will remain unchanged, as athletes give their utmost and inspire the world with transcendent performances…” Although things will look very different for this year’s Olympic and Paralympic games, the purpose of the games will hopefully
remain the same as always: the desire for athletes to represent their countries and return home with medals in their respective categories while also inspiring others to wish to do so in the future shall hopefully translate in light of this year’s restrictions. There has also been talk that, while the plans continue to be
finalized for the Tokyo Olympic games, the preparations for the 2022 Winter Olympic Games are beginning to take place as well. The Winter Olympics and Paralympics are scheduled to take place in Beijing, China next year. Assuming everything goes well for this upcoming year, China will most likely be taking very similar
precautions for the 2022 games, as long as these protocols are proven effective. Before we look too far down the road to the winter games, we need to ensure that we can get through the summer games safely. The health of the athletes and staff must be top priority. With that in mind, traditions are also in the mind of many of those involved. The biggest and arguably the most important being the lighting of the torch in Greece, where it then travels between countries before finally arriving in the host country for the opening ceremonies of that years respected Olympic Games. While the passing of this torch may look different from in the past, nevertheless the tradition itself must live on. With increased restrictions and the uncertainty that lies ahead in many people’s lives about what our day-to-day living may look like, the continuation of the Olympics and Paralympics is something that will instill hope in many individuals. Although times seem bleak still, there is a light – we just have to work to reach it. Even though you may be homebound during the summer if trips are not yet allowed, you will still have these inspiring games to look forward to.
A sports history: basketball A look back at the high-octane game
sarah nakonechny sports writer
Although the US attempts to take credit for everything that catches on and is popular, the only major sport that has a strictly US origin is basketball. Basketball was invented by a man by the name of James Naismith in 1891. This took place at the Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) which is now known as Springfield College, located in Springfield, Massachusetts. Here, Naismith was a physical education instructor. During the first ever game of basketball, Naismith opted to use 2 half-bushel peach baskets for teams to score in. This is where the sport originally got its name as the goal was to get the ball into a peach basket. After this initial game, many associations requested copies of the rules. Soon after these requests were made, a copy of the rules was published in the Triangle, which was the YMCA’s Training School’s campus paper in 1892. Although basketball is typically played competitively over the winter months, it can be played all year round. As long as there is a flat surface and somewhere for the ball to be shot into, you have the ability to play the game. When we watch or participate in basketball, we are used to five players from each team being
on the court at a time – but this was not always the case. Within the first few years of the game’s development, the amount of people on the court was directly related to the size of the playing field. Teams consisted of either five, seven, or nine players before it was decided in 1895 that 5 players per team on the court would be the standard. Surprisingly, outside of the United States, the first country to adopt the sport of basketball was their lovely neighbours to the
north, Canada. After that, basketball took the world by storm! By 1900, basketball had found its way all the way to Japan. With this development also came an evolution of the uniforms that players wore as well. Originally, there were three different styles of pants that players could choose to wear. The first option players had were similar to the knee length football pants that we see those athletes wear today. The second kind of pants are known as jersey tights, which
are commonly worn by wrestlers. The last option available were short, padded pants, which are the closest resemblance to the modern day shorts that athletes choose to wear. Another piece of equipment that used to be worn by athletes as well, but has been phased out now that courts have been better developed, are knee guards. Courts were often irregularly shaped and came with various obstacles that players would have to be mindful of while playing. These obstacles
Pixabay
A graphic showing several balls trying to get through the hoop.
include things like pillars and stairways among other potential hazards. Eventually, courts were made with straight boundary lines which lessened the need for this piece of equipment to be worn by players. Also, backboards did not exist initially for nearly the first 20 years of the game. This caused many problems as the baskets were often mounted onto the stands that spectators were sitting in. Without the backboards in place to block the nets, fans were able to interfere with plays in order to favour their preferred team. Originally, they were a screen, before evolving into wooden ones and then the glass ones that we are used to seeing today, which were established in 1908. Although they were established, the shape and placement of them has continued to change over the years as well. As the sport continues to grow in popularity, different aspects of it have evolved to fit the needs of those who choose to partake as athletes and as fans. Whether it’s the uniforms or the need for a protective board to prevent rowdy fans from interfering, the need for evolution has been evident within this sport. Like any sport, basketball has evolved to fit the needs of its people and will continue to do so as it sees fit. Whether you played during break in grade school, or competitively, everyone has had an opportunity to enjoy the finer details of this classic sport.
sports
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon |
13
Worst of the worst: Stanley Cup finalists One Edmonton Oiler reference from being a perfect list
ethan butterfield sports editor In the long history of the NHL, several teams have had their fair share of highlights and let-downs. Today, we focus on the less-thanstellar experiences that teams in the league have had to go through when it comes to the big game, The Stanley Cup. Very few times in pursuit of the Cup has there ever been a clearly mismatched match-up where one team is more or less guaranteed to win it all versus a team that you have no idea how they got there. That being said, however rare such a match-
“ up would be, that doesn’t mean it’s complete fiction. Below are the top five times that the worst teams made it to the Stanley Cup game. The 1982 Vancouver Canucks Considering how far the Vancouver Canucks have come, it’s shocking to think at one point they were considered the worst for a whole season. Actu-
ally, considering where they are nowadays, it’s not all that hard to imagine. Regardless, in 1982, the Canucks were by far one of the more lacking teams to make the postseason. In their defense, they only lost two games in route to getting swept by the New York Islanders in the Stanley Cup. Yet, that road was paved with a helpful hand from the Los Angeles Kings, who knocked out the dominant 82’ Edmonton Oilers in a massive upset win. The 1999 Buffalo Sabres Speaking of not hard to imagine lacking progress in a sports franchise, the Buffalo Sabres, anyone? Their current woes
you rely on one player to make all the difference, you’re not going to get very far – no matter how good they are. Just ask the team that defeated Buffalo in the 1999 Cup champs, the Dallas Stars The 1968, ‘69 and ‘70’s St. Louis Blues Okay, so technically this was three different teams, yes. However, it’s what was to come as a result of three straight Stanley Cup losses that makes this more of a single entry rather than multiple. See, back in the late 60’s (1967 to be exact) the Blues had entered the league following a large expansion of the NHL. The Blues were placed alongside the new six
the sweeping. All this to say that St. Louis was definitely feeling the Blues. The three losses would then lead to league changes in the playoff format moving forward. The 1979 New York Rangers Lacking in a goalie and trying to beat the then three-time Stanley Cup champion Montreal Canadians is just a tiny look into the issues that the ‘79 New York Rangers faced during their trailand-error postseason to the Cup. Sort of the opposite problem that the ‘99 Sabres had, the Rangers were more offensively focused while lacking in that ever-important area of defence. Regardless,
team go a long way, but there are more elements needed before you can call that team the complete package. The ‘96 Florida Panthers were a squad that, for some reason or another, were just able to make things work. Despite the serious lack in offensive presence, the team managed to rally together to win games and advance in a fairly smooth fashion through the post-season. Eventually though, also like the other teams on this list, the Panthers were shown up by the Colorado Avalanche and revealed to be the ill-equipped underdogs that they actually were. So, there you have it. The
Of course, that is to say that a team needs a certain level of talent to reach the Cup finals at all (he said, backtracking). – Ethan Butterfield aside, the Sabres back in the late 90’s were a team that was at their most minimal. The scoring rate for the ‘99 Sabres was around 2.5 goals per game, showing that they weren’t exactly an offensive powerhouse. No – instead, the Sabres just waited out the timer like in a fighting game. Of course, they did have a secret weapon in Dominik Hasek who literally – I mean literally – kept them in the game at all times. Basically, when
teams that would enter the league, while the Original Six would play in their own division. Needless to say, the Original Six dominated the Cup finals every single year, and the St. Louis Blues just happened to be the team in those Cup finals for three straight years. In ‘68, the Blues got swept by the Montreal Canadians. In ‘69, they were once again swept by the Canadians, and in ‘70, the Boston Bruins would be the ones doing
the Rangers managed to battle their way to a meeting with the Canadians in the ‘79 Cup, where they would go on to lose in five, giving Montreal their fourth straight win. Despite the talents of a then 36-year-old Phil Esposito, the Rangers just didn’t have enough in the tank. The 1996 Florida Panthers As we’ve seen on this list with other teams, great defence and great goaltending can help a
worst of the worst when it comes to the NHL Stanley Cup teams. Of course, that is to say that a team needs a certain level of talent to reach the Cup finals at all (he said, backtracking). So, despite how unsuited these different squads were to be in the big game, the fact that they made it at all really shows how crazy the game of hockey can be.
Pixy/Wikimedia Commons (Manipulated by Kate Thessien)
The NHL logo and the Stanley Cup side-by-side.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon | 14
sports
8 reasons to be excited about the upcoming baseball season Things to look out for
philippe bouchard contributor This season is shaping up to be a unique one, and not just because of the pandemic. 8. Pitchers with new addresses are looking to make a splash. Some of the best hurlers in the league are going to pitch for new teams this year, as the Dodgers signed Cy Young winner Trevor Bauer and the Padres filled an already impressive rotation with top names like Yu Darvish and former Cy Young winner Blake Snell. On the relief side of things, Liam Hendricks signed a record deal with the White Sox and is expected to help them move up
Pixy
Several baseballs bunched up on the ground.
Robert replicate last season’s impressive success at literally every aspect of the game? Will the Blue Jays core of “sons of former players” finally reach their potential? Only time will tell. 6. Are the Angels going to finally capitalize on having the best player in baseball on their team? Mike Trout is by far the best player in the game. Every statistic shows this, but even with him on their team, the Angels can’t seem to find a way to win. They apparently expect the solution to come from within, betting on Fletcher’s success to continue and a bounceback year from their 2017 gam-
Springer. Often injured and involved in the sign-stealing scandal, but also consistently putting top five numbers at his position, it will be very interesting to see what he brings to the team in the upcoming year. Marcus Semien’s signing will also bring a very potent bat and above average defensive skills in a lineup already filled with talent. Are those additions going to be enough to contend in one of baseball’s toughest divisions? 4. The Dodgers will still be excellent. Swapping some bullpen pieces and losing slugger Joc Pederson
3. Some trades could pay off in a big way… or be a disaster. If anyone tells you they expected the Rockies, Nolan Arenado, to be traded during the offseason, they’re probably lying. The Cardinals surprised everyone by trading for the perennial 3rd base gold glove candidate and prolific hitter, hoping this trade will help them win after a heartbreaking exit from the playoffs last year against the Atlanta Braves. While the Mets also put their future on the line by trading for 2022 free agent Francisco Lindor, expecting him and a few recent signings to get them back on top of their
aren’t throwing in the towel before the season even begins, and while MLB’s reluctance in putting a cap on teams’ salaries often led to many experts saying that the teams spending more will win more often, this year will continue the trend of young players putting up crazy numbers and being worth ten times their paycheck, creating a more even league and more entertaining matchups for us fans! 1. Seats will be filling up as the season goes on. Already, this spring training features pockets of masked fans at a safe distance from one anoth-
“
As the year goes on, if the vaccination rate in the US and the health measures addressing the global pandemic allows, we could see more and more fans fill in the seats of the stadiums. – Philippe Bouchard
in their division this year. I, for one, am excited to see if these big names will continue to dominate against new opposition. 7. Young stars are better than ever, and they have things to prove this season. While the 2020 season was a shorter sample size than a full 162-game regular season, some young stars showed they could have a massive impact on their team’s success in the near future. Are 22-year-old superstars Fernando Tatis Jr. and Juan Soto going to be able to keep humiliating opposing pitchers on such a consistent basis in 2021? Will Luis
ble Shohei Ohtani. And while the two-way Japanese phenom signing didn’t pan out so far as his return to pitching after a very invasive surgery was less than stellar, he’s having a monster spring. Maybe new closer Raisel Iglesias will be the solution? We’ll see. 5. Watching if the Blue Jays enormous spending on Free Agents pays off. One of the most active teams in the league this off season, Canada’s Toronto Blue Jays (who probably won’t play north of the border in 2021), bet heavily on former Houston Astros George
(who is still mashing the ball for the Chicago Cubs this spring) in the offseason probably won’t be enough of a change to expect the LA Dodgers to do anything but repeat last year’s success. Still the team with the highest payroll in all of baseball, the 2020 world series champions brought back key man Justin Turner and added last year’s best pitcher in the NL to their starting rotation, which should be enough considering their core of Mookie Betts, Corey Seager, and Cody Bellinger are already amongst the very best at their respective positions.
division, failing to sign him to an extension could be disastrous for the franchise. 2. A lot of teams are actually confident in their ability to contend this season. Some bad teams are still gonna bad, but many teams are making a huge push for it this year. Any one of AL’s three division has at least three hopeful playoff contenders, and many teams in the NL could give the Dodgers and the new-and-improved Padres a run for their money. I think it’s a good sign for any professional sports league when teams
er, bringing a lived-in feel to the ballparks that lacked in last year’s offering of televised baseball broadcasts. As the year goes on, if the vaccination rate in the US and the health measures addressing the global pandemic allows, we could see more and more fans fill in the seats of the stadiums. Even though not everyone should rush south of the border to go see live baseball, more fans will bring more excitement to the players on the field, as well as serve as a hopeful visual reminder to fans from around the world that normalcy is just around the corner.
op-ed
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editor: holly worby op-ed@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021
Thank you for being my home, Carillon A bittersweet farewell from your editor-in-chief
When I first started at the Carillon, I thought I would be writing for free. In September of 2016, I walked into my news writer position not anticipating any form of money. After being shown the “paycheque shelf ” I realized that I had done it – I had landed my first ever paid writing job. If I could go back in time and tell my 2016-self one thing before applying for this job, I would only say “trust me, this is going to be worth it”. To say the Carillon has been worth it is an understatement. The Carillon gave me so much. It gave me a workplace that entirely consisted of friends and inspirations. It gave me a space to share my thoughts and aspirations. It gave me a safe haven on campus. It gave me a second home. The Carillon is unlike any other student group on campus. Never in my entire life have I met a collective of people who are so passionate about what they do. The drive of this staff is unlike any other working group I have ever seen. Truly, they all continue to amaze me and I can’t thank them enough, even though I’ll try. You all have made this year, by far, one of the greatest in Carillon history. And yes, I do have the right to say that – I’m still technically in charge. To our editors: Ethan, Holly, Julia, Aurel, and Sara, you are all beyond amazing. You work so hard each and every week to ensure that not only our staff get to write, but that our student body gets to contribute to our paper as well. You will all go so far in
your lives, and I can’t wait to see it all happen. You know you’ll always have a family with our little Carillon bunch. To our writers: Gillian, Matt, Florence, Sarah, Marty, and Reese, you are truly our backbone. Every week you bring your A-game to the table. Your love of writing, creativity, and sharing your thoughts with the student body is amazing and inspiring. Your thoughts and words will change the world – I hope you all know that. To our production and multimedia team: Kate, Sarah, Morgan and Shae, I truly don’t know what we would do without you. Probably nothing because that’s how essential you are. Your passion for multimedia and tech shines through all your work, and we are all beyond grateful for you. To our team behind the scenes: Ty and Jacob, and to our board members Dustin, Lindsay and Joseph, your work is deeply appreciated. Our paper wouldn’t be a paper without you, and all the hard work you put in every day can be seen. This is the last Carillon article I will ever write as EIC, and the feeling is bittersweet. I think it’s mainly just bitter, because the thought of leaving breaks my heart the more I dwell on it. The Carillon hasn’t just been a job for me – it’s been my home. Thank you for changing my life. Carillon forever and always.
taylor balfour editor-in-chief
Taylor Balfour
Taylor Balfour sitting in a large chair under a painting of rabbits.
Fighting for hope in adversity Reflecting on loss while retaining a dream for spring
As I sit down to write this, it has been more than a year since the afternoon on campus when I got an email saying everything was shutting down for a week and would then be online in some form for the rest of the term. I remember telling a friend that the campus looked post-apocalyptic, with entire areas cordoned off and empty hallways. He replied that he was more concerned that we are in the middle of an apocalypse, not post. We chuckled over that because really, his alternative was too overwhelming. Even before the announcement of lockdown and government restrictions, we had been making small changes. Friends stood a bit further apart and shied away from even handshakes – forget hugs. I remember freaking out every time I touched my face, and I washed my hands compulsively. Once the lockdown happened, I confined myself
to my living space and relied on delivery services for the first several weeks before daring to venture out. Once I did, I had mixed feelings. It was nice to be outside, see people, and get groceries, but it was also stressful thinking how I might pick up an invisible virus while riding the bus. I would love to write today, one year later, that we made it – that we survived this nightmare and will soon go back to life as it used to be. Unfortunately, for those of us in Regina, a year later we are not even back to square one. We are worse off, with variants of concern and over a hundred cases every day for the past several days. Last week we went into a more serious lockdown, and I for one feel even more anxious and uncomfortable than I did this time last year. We have collectively suffered unspeakable loss of life, toll on our mental health,
and many festivals and holidays spent alone in our apartments instead of with our communities. However, as the school year comes to an end and the beautiful prairie summer is ushered in, I think we may have more to be hopeful about than we realize. Vaccination phases are progressing in Saskatchewan and, starting March 29, a vaccine centre is supposed to start operating at the University of Regina main campus. While it does seem that we might go into mid-fall or even winter before everyone has received both shots of the vaccine, I think there is room for hope. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, of blessed memory, used to teach about the curious story of Jacob in the book of Genesis. After a strange night encounter with a being that many believe was an angel, Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life. As day was
breaking and the stranger wanted to leave, Jacob held on and persisted, not letting go until he received a blessing from the being. Rabbi Sacks draws a parallel between this strange incident and the history of the Jewish people, commenting that “In every adversity, we seek to obtain a blessing”. This past year, we realized how many things we used to take for granted. I hope that as this pandemic nears its end, as we all get vaccinated and are able to resume our lives, we remember that – we remember that, for a year, we were not able to sit down with a friend and enjoy a cup of tea. When our much-awaited spring is here, I hope we never take life as it used to be for granted. That can be our blessing from this adversity.
hammad ali contributor Wikipedia Commons
Regina’s skyline and Wascana lake in summer.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
op-ed
carillonregina.com | the carillon |
16
Navigating not wanting children
A list of comebacks for those who seem to think they can convince you otherwise
PxHere
A person relaxing on their couch, contentedly staring out the window.
Having kids is so normal in our culture that when you tell someone you don’t want any they look at you like you grew a second head (ironic, as that’s exactly what you don’t want). They also, more likely than not, will insist that eventually you’ll want them – or your partner will – and will look at you with that condescending “you just don’t get it yet” gaze. As a blanket message to all those doubters, we’ve come up with handy responses to the many well-intended (but completely tone-deaf) comments you may encounter if you too do not want to reproduce. When are you having kids? Never. How many kids do you want when you do have them? Absolutely none. So, you hate children? I actually have a lot of respect for kids. I love their curiosity, the ways their little brains try to figure out the world, their infectious belly giggles, and how uninhibited their joy is – I still don’t want any of my own. My sister always said she didn’t want kids either. She has three now and they’re her whole life; you’ll get there, too! Did you even hear what you just said? They’re her whole life. If that is what someone wants out of life then yes, absolutely go for it, that’s an incredible amount of dedication and I’m happy that they’re able to go through life doing something that brings them so much joy. I would also like to go through life doing things that bring me joy, and having children is not one of those things. If you don’t have kids, you won’t fulfill yourself as a woman. I will fulfill myself with things that I want to do for me – not another human being. Society has trained women to think that being a mother is necessary to being a
proper woman, and that if we don’t want kids, we are bad women – that we will always be incomplete, and that no man will want a wife who won’t carry his children. Well, what makes you think I would want to marry a man who doesn’t respect my own wishes for my body? To this, I say no thanks, I just don’t want them. I will wait for the day that that is an accepted answer, and until then, I will gladly keep being a “bad woman”. How do you know for sure that it’s really something you’ll never do? Because I’m someone who likes having control over their schedule, and having clean places to work in. The freedom to
First off, there’s a good chance that the mothers who respond like that actually wanted to be mothers, so I can understand why they’d feel their sacrifice was worth what they got out of it. I’m not scared of pain – I have 14 tattoos, sweetie. The truth of the matter is that I’m someone who doesn’t want to go through pain for an outcome that I don’t want anyway, which I see as a pretty sane stance. You have to settle down and have a family eventually, you can’t just work forever. As a young woman who plans to live a career-focused life, the idea of having kids was kind of taken from me. This is not to
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As a blanket message to all those doubters, we’ve come up with handy responses to the many well-intended (but completely tonedeaf) comments you may encounter if you too do not want to reproduce. – Holly Worby
go on a week-long camping trip. Disposable income. Hobbies that make me feel satisfied and accomplished. The luxury of only cleaning the messes that I make in my home. A space where I don’t have to hear screaming, crying, or tantrums. Snacks in my house that I know I’ll actually get to eat because there’s no one around to steal them. Drinks with friends without having to pay for a babysitter, too. Free time, period. You’re probably just scared of the birth part then, but most mothers I talk to say they’d do it all again, so it can’t be that bad!
say that there aren’t badass women that are amazing mothers and amazing career women. I praise those wanting and able to do both, but I think those choosing to do one or the other should be praised as well. If I want a baby, I have to step away from my career for a full year, and then be able to take days off at the drop of a hat whenever the kid gets sick – that is not a realistic option in my field of interest. Society has made it nearly impossible for women to have the best of both worlds, and I refuse to commit career suicide for anyone or anything. Kids are so fulfilling that you
won’t even notice the sacrifices you’re making. Amidst a schedule as insane as mine, I have learned that there is one way to survive a week from hell: a bottle of wine and a bath on Friday night. If I want a baby, I (traditionally) must be pregnant, and being pregnant means that my Friday night baths are wineless – no thanks. Why would I remove something I truly enjoy in a week and introduce a child – something I would not enjoy – that ensures my life is no longer mine for its remainder? I have been walking into and ruining my mom’s relaxation time for 20 years, and I do not want anyone doing that to me. No one thinks they’re ready before they have a kid, it’s something you learn along the way. What, do you have commitment issues or something? Counterquestion: why would I, in my mid-20s, want to sign-up for anything for the rest of my life? Especially something that will depend on me for the rest of my life. I signed up for Spotify once, then cancelled the subscription before the free trial was over. You don’t get a 7-day free trial with a baby, there is no satisfaction guaranteed; you sign up and once it’s in your arms, there is no going back. I can barely commit to the same novel for more than 100 pages and I’m expected to commit to guiding another human through this world? I can barely make the time to feed myself three times a day, and you want me caring for a tiny helpless human? I think not. Also, kids are smart. They’re smart enough to feel when they’re not wanted and that feeling carries with them through their entire life, so a simple way for me to prevent my children from ever feeling like that is to not have them.
reese estwick & holly worby staff writer and op-ed editor
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon |
op-ed
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Which U of R building are you doomed to haunt? Reveal your student tendencies to learn your fate
Imagine there is a version of the afterlife where the realm you stay in forever is based on what type of jerk you were in university specifically. I am bold enough to bring such a vision to life, for some reason. Answer these questions, and I will reveal to you where you will be tormented forever: 1. You notice that someone in your class makes a mistake on an assignment they haven’t handed in yet. Also, you don’t know them personally. a. I don’t say anything – I barely understood the assignment so who knows if I did it right. b. I correct them politely in the moment and laugh about it later with friends. c. I point out their mistake and explain where they went wrong; hopefully, that helps them in the future. d. I’d probably notice for a second but forget before I could say anything. e. I’m not going to do anything. Just too much effort, you know? 2. How would you honestly describe your role and habits in group projects? a. There are always people smarter than me in the group. I let them handle most of it and I’ll make the PowerPoint or something, but we’re not hanging out. b. I’ll do my fair share while complaining to others about my group members. If there’s tension, I’m the first to say something. c. I take initiative to decide on a topic and presentation style right away. Someone needs to lead, and this way I know we’ll get a grade I want. d. Shit, we have a group project? Uhh here’s two slides for the presentation, just saw this text last night. e. I am here to do the absolute bare minimum; if no one gives me direct instructions I probably won’t even contribute. 3. You’re sitting through a boring lecture and don’t want to take notes. How do you pass the time?
a. I either talking to my friends in class, texting them, or shopping online. b. I text my friends specifically about how much I hate this lecture, and how annoying some of the people in the class are. c. I do pay some attention so I’ll hear if someone asks a stupid question and can chime in. If I don’t, who will? d. I either doodle or stare into space; either way I’m paying so little attention it surprises me when class ends. e. If I’m not interested, I’m not there – let’s be real. 4. Where and how do you work on assignments on campus? a. Anywhere my friends and I can hang out, order food, and keep each other focused (AKA goof off) for hours. b. A room in the library with my friends where we might study, or we might just gossip for a few hours.
a. The academic part – really wish I didn’t have to cut back on social time to study. b. The scheduling differences – it’s like my friends are never free when I am. c. The self-proclaimed geniuses – you know, those people who completely miss the point of a reading or course concept and spread their misunderstandings like gospel. d. The overload – there’s just too many things to keep track of, and I wish I didn’t need three planners to keep on top of life. e. Anything other than taking naps is done against my will. Mostly a: You must spend eternity in the KIN BUILDING for the crime of being COOL BUT ANNOYING. You have a lot of friends and probably are actually
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Imagine there is a version of the afterlife where the realm you stay in forever is based on what type of jerk you were in university specifically. I am bold enough to bring such a vision to life, for some reason. – Marty Grande-Sherbert
c. On my own in a place I can concentrate, but if I overhear a conversation, I’ll probably chime in. d. A coffee shop where I can sit down with a drink, finish my drink, get something to eat, forget why I came, and maybe write one sentence. e. I’ll be finishing this assignment in my seat in class an hour before it’s due; don’t pretend you expected anything different. 5. What part of academic life do you clash with most?
going to have a stable job when you graduate in business or something, but could you have the decency to be a little miserable? In the Kin building, you will be surrounded by athletes who are carefree like you were, but you will be unable as a ghost to join in their shenanigans. Slowly, your zest for life will dull until you’re as sober as someone who studies gothic literature. Serves you right. Mostly b: You must haunt the RIDDELL CENTRE for EXCESSIVE TEA-SIPPING. You might be doing okay in school, but you live for the drama of the
college years too much. It is not that exciting. You tell your friends about all the embarrassing things your teachers and classmates do, but as a ghost, you will forever hear proverbial tea that you cannot truly sip. Others will be sippin’ sweetly as they walk right through you. Mostly c: You are doomed to the AD HUM PIT for the sin of MANSPLAINING. If you are not a man and you got this result, your stay will be slightly more bearable, but what you do is still irritating. You spent your university years basically being a know-it-all; you don’t need to be the voice of facts all the time. In the Ad Hum Pit you will eternally hear men explain things to people doing their homework, and they will do it badly. You will be forever unable to tell them to stop talking, making you realize what it is like when you do that. Let that sink in. Mostly d: You dwell forever in the CLASSROOM BUILDING STAIRCASE for NOT GETTING YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. It is possible if you got this result that you just have ADHD. It does not matter though, because just like our education system, this imaginary version of the afterlife is also pretty ableist. You will wander this staircase, eternally unable to remember the number of the classroom you were supposed to go to. The floors will become a labyrinth, making you rue the days you never got your shit together. Mostly e: You are exiled after death to the GREEN because you GENERALLY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT. This is honestly very understandable, but because there are so many people who do give a shit (perhaps too much of a shit), it seems unfair that you don’t. This is a reminder of the times you skipped class and avoided your responsibilities. You may never enter the campus and, as a result, will miss out on all the opportunities that come with giving a shit.
marty grande-sherbert staff writer Wikipedia Commons
The Archer Library building and grounds at the University of Regina in summer.
april 1 - april 15, 2021
carillonregina.com | the carillon |18
op-ed
Long-distance friendship survival guide Maintaining a healthy relationship from 964km away
Pixabay
A person reaching through a laptop screen to shake hands with the person sitting at the laptop.
Long distance relationships are hard, especially when you live 964km away from your best friend. The drastic change from seeing each other every day to not seeing each other for a year has been really hard on our relationship as best friends. For both Reese and I, we have been eternally online this entire year both working and learning from home. While still trying to balance family, work, school, and well…life in general, it has been a challenge to maintain our friendship this past year. By outlining our own experiences, we hope that you can take our five-step friendship survival guide and apply it to your own friendships.
1. Set aside time to talk/connect Although profs seem to believe that online learning has given students more time, that’s just not true. Since moving home, I have begun working full-time and volunteering on top of my heavy course load. This makes it hard to answer the phone whenever Gillian calls. We have had to set aside time to connect by literally scheduling it in the calendar. Making time for my bestie will always be a priority, even when it imposes upon my 9 p.m. bedtime. 2. Make plans for when you’re together as something to look forward to
Now is the prime time to plan and scope out new activities for when you can visit your best friend. Currently, Reese and I have looked into winery tours on trips when she comes to visit me. There are also museums and music festivals we both want to see and experience with one another. 3. You have to get creative (ways of communication without actual communication) Sometimes calling and texting just won’t do it, and you need a funky fresh way to communicate. So far, we have sent letters back and forth, which are wonderful keepsakes that will be held forever in my trea-
sure box. Email them Calendar events on Google Meet and send them cringey spam memes. We are both in the same book club on Facebook and we are doing a Survivor Running Challenge later this month. While we live in separate provinces now, we still find ways to be involved with one another like we were last year. 4. Make time to see each other IRL A world where you can just drive into another province and hug your best friend 8 hours later seems like both a distant memory and a dream. The last time I saw Gill was when she backed into a phoneline poll in my backyard, almost a year ago. The last time I hugged my favourite person was a year ago – wow. COVID permitting, make time to hold your bestie in your arms, cry like babies, and (again) take no pictures because you are having so much fun. 5. Adjusting to a new normal We’ve all spent a year normalizing the unimaginable and adjusting to a new way of living. If someone would have asked me a year and a half ago what the worst possible thing would be, I would have said being 8 hours away from Gilly – yet here we are, and there is no end in sight, and I will not be coming back to the U of R. Gill and I are learning how to survive a permanent long-distance friendship, and I can verify that it sucks – but for the right bestie, it’s so worth it.
reese estwick & gillian massie staff writer & web writer
8 stress-reduction tips for students Finding alternative outlets for that build-up of anxious energy
The instinctive suggestion – eat your weight in carbs and sweets – is one your body only lets you get away with for so long (yet it feels like something to be enjoyed while it can be, if you ask me). There is some science suggesting that thinking of eating, and later eating your favourite food will genuinely help you feel better. Another suggestion is to discuss your problems with a therapist, one with whom you feel most comfortable. You could also talk to a willing and empathetic friend, sibling, parent, pet – even Siri is available if you really need an objective view. However, if you find that you’re experiencing distressing feelings, thoughts, or actions, taking the time to speak to a professional is normal – in fact it’s encouraged, and can be very beneficial. My third suggestion is to spend time
in nature in whatever way is safe and most comfortable for you. If it’s going out to a cabin by a lake, going for hike in the forest, a walk in the park, or even watching nature documentaries from the comfort of your couch if you’re more an indoors-type person. You can be as creative as you like with this one. Speaking of creativity, that’s another way to relieve stress: create something. Paint a picture, draw, write, practice programming, build, tinker around with a machine, practice Tik Tok dances if you must (please try something else first, though…please). On that note, removing yourself from social media for some amount of time can be a good idea as it leaves you with less distractions, less comparing yourself to others, and less guilt about being unproductive. If you find yourself still needing some
sort of distraction though, music is a good outlet for such an occasion. I always encourage singing or dancing. Yes, even if you’re bad at it, and especially if you don’t like your roommates or neighbors anyway – they can put up with it, right? If you like them and you sound or look like a dying kangaroo… you might have to work a little harder to find the alone time to embrace this suggestion, but it’s worth a try! If your stress is due to poor work-life balance, there’s always personal and sick days to use up. Your co-workers and boss can manage for a day, right? Asking for reduced hours if possible or reducing your course load in school is another idea. Depending on what field you’re in there can be work co-ops where you work for a specific time frame while having the option of taking minimal classes while you do so. Then
there’s less work, less class, and you gain experience in the field you’re going to school for – sounds like a win. If your stress level is due to your course schedule and the workload, just burn your syllabus; you can’t stress about deadlines now, you’re welcome! On a serious note, do your research, and look at the reviews about your potential professors or places of employment. If all the reviews are terrible, the employee turnover rate is abnormally high, or taking certain classes or jobs means working nonstop for 10+ hours a day, it’s not going to be healthy. Proactive actions and planning stress-reducing activities should be done whenever possible if this is an unavoidable scenario for you, as it is for some students.
rayanne gwilliam contributor
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editors: sarah carrier, kate thiessen graphics@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021
