LIFE’S UNDERTAKINGS WAR AND WOMEN’S outside our window. There are days, Thanksgiving weekend and the 12 days of Christmas come to mind, when family gatherings approach a Herculean-style war effort on all fronts. Every child (and me) is assigned a work detail with clear objectives, challenges and a non-negotiable “no excuses” clause. I simply cannot imagine the absence of my wife’s leadership and the horror show that would ensue if all the goodies and delights she brings to our table, tree and troubles suddenly vanished. Perhaps that’s why I have always held such a tender and fragile place in my heart for widowers. Men, whether young or elderly, strong or frail, are often lost spinning in darkness when their partner dies. I see the same when a single young man loses his mother.
BRAD JONES
Owner, Ridley Funeral Home
Whenever holidays come around, I look to my wife for leadership. She knows whom to invite, whom to avoid, what to buy, where we’re going and when to roast turkeys. My contribution to annual family festivities range from playing chauffeur to personal shopper to private cheerleader to professional family mediator. Although my family duties are important – and I try really, really hard to do a great job – I realize I am not super essential to my wife’s dictatorship. I know I am absolutely 100% replaceable, and that’s totally okay – for reals, as the kids say. These harsh family realities inspire me to be the best I can be. Every season, whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas or our wedding anniversary, I know I have an opportunity to really step up and stay out of my wife’s way. Who am I to stand in the way of progress as my wife launches another expert holiday campaign that delivers freedom from boredom, relaxation and responsible eating? We have six children, ranging in ages from 11 to 27, and each and every kid knows in the marrow of their bones that their mother is the boss. If I were a star in my family (I wish!), my wife would be the sun; the brightest and warmest light source in our household no matter what war might rage
28
Women possess a strength of character that brings light to dark places. As I’ve grown up and (I hope) have grown wiser and kinder, more secure in my abilities and less judgmental of my flaws, I’ve come to embrace how the majority of women and girls express themselves in ways that educate, inspire and ennoble others. Men have a habit of seeing war (problems) and polarity while women shine light on the tributaries leading to peace and unity. I refuse to self-identify as a “feminist” since so many terrible men have professed the same and proven otherwise. (Yes, Justin, I am looking at you.) I need only look at the young woman managing our funeral home to know my two daughters and four sons see female strength reflected not just in their mother but within our family business too. Our family planet would actually stop spinning if my wife of 29 years announced she wanted off the merry-go-round called family gatherings. And our funeral home would lose something special if one of our staff, whether male or female, turned off the qualities so often attributed to women and girls: sweet, soft, compassionate, caring, loyal and loving. If you’re groaning right now, me too. Men obviously possess these same peace-loving traits. What I find fascinating is when women go beyond a traditional role or grow a new set of characteristics, a lot of us panic. Look no further than Canadian women joining the full-time, paid workforce during WWII. Etobicoke has a strong and proud wartime history that includes frontlines, factory lines and farmlands, and women played an important and generally overlooked role in each wartime sphere.
www.fiatluxmedia.com
