The Gateway: Volume 101, Issue 46

CELEBRATING 20 1 0

1910

YEARS

volume CI number 46

inside

the official student newspaper at the university of alberta

News Writer

The pundits in the Gateway Sports staff make their decisions on the most outstanding varsity moments in this years Sports Awards.

Sports, Page 20

Canadian pop princess Fefe Dobson taps into her split personality for a new sound on her latest album Joy. A&E, Page 17

Speck of Orange The Gateway follow this year’s federal race in the only riding in Alberta not currently held by a Conservative: EdmontonStrathcona. feature, Page 10

thursday, april 7, 2011

U of A unveils longterm expansion plan April Hudson

The winner is...

www.thegatewayonline.ca

The University of Alberta’s new Comprehensive Institutional Plan (CIP) calls for a flood of extra government funding in order to attract more students and professors.

In accordance with the Dare to Deliver Academic Plan, this new fiveyear plan examines the need for more funding in order for the university to maintain a competitive standing as an educational institution, translating the university’s long-term goals of academic excellence into practical short-term goals.

In light of recent budget cuts, progress towards the CIP’s goals are off to a rocky start. However, Provost and Vice President (Academic) Carl Amrhein is optimistic the goals outlined in the plan can be accomplished in the near future.

“The Academic Plan and the CIP is a forward-looking document, so hopefully over the next five or six years, when the province returns to strong fiscal health, we’ll be able to convince the government to move in this direction,” said Amrhein. “The government has sent us every signal that postsecondary education is still vitally important.”

The CIP discusses the creation of new, innovative programs, and states that the funding will come from re-allocated resources from existing programs. The government has already agreed to re-allocate unused resources from the Faculty of Native Studies towards a new Native Studies graduate program.

“It’s not using more money,” said Amrhein. “It’s taking existing money and within the framework that is Campus Alberta, re-allocating those funds so that Campus Alberta has all of what they need, recognizing that some of the newer institutions are doing things that they weren’t doing ten years ago.”

Aside from the money allocated to the recruitment and engagement of international and aboriginal students, the CIP also calls for an estimated investment of approximately $370 million in order to cover the costs of 500 new professors, and to fund 2,000 new graduate students.

“The Master’s and PhD people are critical for making sure that all of the sophisticated, complicated parts of

the economy work,” said Amrhein.

“Now that Mount Royal and Grant MacEwan are offering bachelor degrees, the government has told the U of A, the U of C, and the U of L that they want us to expand graduate activity.”

The planned increase in graduates and professors will allow the university to meet proposed ratios of 1:3 graduate to undergraduate students, 1:4 professor to graduate students, and 1:16 professor to general student population, putting the U of A on par with other universities.

Amrhein said that although these figures would not be possible this year, they would almost certainly be achieved once the economy improves and the government can increase funding.

“We have the space, we have the need, [and] we have the jobs waiting for the graduates,” said Amrhein. “All we need is the funding to bring the students in.”

The CIP aims for a target goal of 15 per cent international undergraduate students and 30 per cent international graduate students, and also proposes funding for an increase in aboriginal students.

“We are not displacing Canadian students by bringing in international students,” said Amrhein. “We’re adding additional students.”

“The government has sent us every signal that postsecondary education is still vitally important.”

Carl Amrhein provost/Vice President (AcademIC)

Amrhein said that although the university would not require additional funding for international students, an increase in aboriginal students would likely result in a need for more funds.

“We think it’s important that we become a more welcoming, receptive institution for the particular learning needs of Aboriginal students,” said Amrhein.

“The demand is there, and we’re asking the government for more funding to accommodate students.”

Aaron Yeo

Alcohol policy changes to affect events, pub crawls Aaron Yeo News Staff

The University of Alberta administration aims to provide better information, communication, and resources for students and faculty with a revision of the current policy on the way alcohol is handled.

Current regulations call for risk assessment procedures, including adequate Server Intervention Training (SIPS), alcohol awareness training, and the issuing of waivers. Because student groups are affiliated with the university and represent the U of A in any events they hold, the policy affects both on- and off-campus events. “[The] current policy and procedure that we have is fairly simple and quite straightforward,” said Philip Stack, associate vice president of Risk Management Services. “However, its primary focus is how to get a permit to hold a function on campus that involves the consumption of alcohol.”

A town hall was held for U of A students and student groups on Monday, where Stack was open to ideas and suggestions on how to improve the

current policy. Their main focus was how to strike a balance between making sure events are run as safe as possible and within the lines of the university’s insurance policies, while not making the process too arduous.

Stack said that the administration will study how other postsecondary institutions manage alcohol events as well.

“It’s clear that our policy is quite out of step with what other universities have in place,” he said.

Students raised concerns regarding the availability of resources for getting the correct permits from the university, and many said the difficulty of obtaining permission discouraged them from allowing alcohol to be served.

“I’m worried that it’s hurting our student life because it’s become too hard to actually hold student group events at bars,” said Claire Smith, president of the Engineering Students Society.

Stack said the university wants to differentiate between events that benefit students where alcohol is featured, and events whose main purpose is the consumption of alcohol.

Please see Alcohol Page 4

2 Campus Life The Gateway www.thegatewayonline.ca thursday, april 7, 2011 volume CI number 46 Published since november 21, 1910 Circulation 7, 000 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 Students’ Union Building University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta T6G 2J7 Telephone 780.492.5168 Fax 780.492.6665 Ad Inquiries 780.492.6700 Email gateway@gateway.ualberta.ca

editorialstaff editor-in-chief Jonn Kmech eic@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.5168

managing editor Justin Bell managing@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6654

senior news editor Alexandria Eldridge news@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.7308

deputy news editor Simon Yackulic deputynews@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6664

opinion editor Alix Kemp opinion@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6661

arts & entertainment editor Madeline Smith entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.7052

sports editor Matt Hirji sports@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6652

photo editor Dan McKechnie photo@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6648

design & production editor Lance Mudryk production@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6663

online editor Jordan Ching

thursday, april 7, 2011

“

One in three SU vehicles are electric. We only have three SU vehicles. The one out of three is an electric cart.

Nick Dehod

President —on the sustainability of the Students’ Union

Council Forum Written by Alex Migdal Students’ Council meets every second Tuesday in the Council Chambers in University Hall at 6 p.m. Council meetings are open to all students. The next meeting will be held on April 12, and will feature the newly elected councillors.

Students’ Union ended the year off with a culinary flop, serving greasy and unappetizing pizza along with some fruit and cookies. So next time, if you’re at all interested in student politics, swing by, fill your belly, and get your democracy on.

so long, and thanks for the pizza Students’ Union President Nick Dehod gave his closing speech to councillors, stressing the importance of communication between members in council. He said the SU continues to remain relevant to students, and despite the lack of candidates in this year’s executive races, Dehod pointed out that the councillor positions were still heavily contested.

online@gateway.ualberta.ca | 248.1509

a greener campus

businessstaff

Dehod provided an update to councillors on the U of A’s sustainability initiative. He

business manager Ashleigh Brown biz@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6669

ad sales manager Vikram Seth sales@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6700

ad/graphic designer Vikki Wiercinski design@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6647

circulation pal Nick Frost circulation pal Kathryn Dutchak

www.thegatewayonline.ca

explained that steps are being taken to reduce waste by refurbishing furniture, updating electronics less frequently, and passing down old equipment.

Dehod also pointed out that there are discounts that SUB merchants offer to students who bring their own containers. The final sustainability assessment was not ready for Tuesday’s council, but a document should be done by the end of April.

undergraduate survey results Marc Dumouchel, general manager of the Students’ Union, presented the results of the undergraduate survey that was taken by almost 7,000 students last November.

Some trends were pointed out, including the weekly use of SUB by two thirds of the student population and the strong correlation between greater involvement in student groups and feeling more connected to campus. Dumouchel also said that the organization’s main focus will be improving communication through social media expansion and the development of SUtv.

question period Vice President (Student Life) Rory Tighe was asked about the current status on microwave supply and placement. Tighe said that microwave placement will take place over the summer when less

students are on campus.

Vice President (External) Aden Murphy responded to a question concerning the SU’s role in influencing the student body to vote in the upcoming federal election. Murphy said that a webpage about the federal election is being developed for the SU website.

Additionally, a forum on campus is in the works for candidates of the EdmontonStrathcona riding, which will most likely take place at the Dinwoodie Lounge next week.

Dehod fielded a question about the environmental efficiency of SUB in response to his sustainability update.

Dehod explained that the SU does not pay for SUB’s utility rates, but works with the university to monitor energy usage.

Vice President (Operations and Finance) Zach Fentiman fielded a question about the continued efforts to gender-neutralize washrooms.

Fentiman said that washrooms on the third, fourth, and sixth floor of SUB will be re-designated as unisex facilities in the following weeks. He also pointed out there will be minimal advertisement on the operation.

strategy setting Council ratified the Strategic Plan, a fouryear framework that allows the SU to pursue long-term objectives, in the face of annual council and executive turnover.

Aaron Yeo

STREETERS What have you been kicked out of lately?

As you may be aware, the Conservative party has been kicking people out of their rallies.

Compiled and photographed by Aaron Yeo

Ryan Quang Science II

Caylee Webber Science III

Erik Mattson Phys Ed III

Tanner Nault Education V

circulation@gateway.ualberta.ca The Gateway is published by the Gateway Student Journalism Society (GSJS), a student-run, autonomous, apolitical not-for-profit organization, operated in accordance with the Societies Act of Alberta.

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The Gateway is created using Macintosh computers, HP Scanjet flatbed scanners, and a Nikon Super Cool Scan optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used for layout.

Adobe Illustrator is used for vector images, while Adobe Photoshop is used for raster images. Adobe Acrobat is used to create PDF files which are burned directly to plates to be mounted on the printing press. Text is set in a variety of sizes, styles, and weights of Fenice, Joanna, Kepler and Whitney. The Manitoban is the Gateway’s sister paper, and we love her dearly, though “not in that way.” The Gateway’s songs of choice are Air’s “All I Need” and Britney Spears’ “Till the World Ends.”

contributors

Aaron Yeo, Ross Vincent, Max Lutz, Evan Daum, Darcy Ropchan, Ryan Bromsgrove, Benjamin Ripley, Benjamin Nay, Ben Leung, Lauren Alston, Andrew Douglas, Mike Chafe, Matt Meuse, Dulguun Bayasgalan, Tyler Hein, Peter Holmes, Armand Ludick, Alex Migdal, April Hudson, Hayley Dunning, Jacob Bos Skybox by Dan McKechnie

I got kicked out of Twist, for being a little too rowdy. It was mostly my friends, but we all had to leave.

I got kicked out of the petting zoo. I don’t really remember, but it was something to do with the goats, I think. I’m really big, I love animals. Oh yeah! I was bitching at these kids for mistreating the goats. They were, like, tormenting them, and I was like, ‘Stop touching the fucking goats!’

They asked me to leave.

Last Thursday, I got kicked out of The Rack. I was fighting with [my friend] Lyndon, jokingly, and the bouncer wasn’t happy about it. Took my drink, put it on the side. I wasn’t even done it. It was just rude. He walked me out, and then I got outside and he closed the door. But then he opened the door, and then he said, “April Fools!” I got back in, but my drink wasn’t there any more.

I got kicked out of bed last night. [By whom?] My girlfriend. [Why?] For not performing.

The Gateway

News

volume ci number 46

Matt Hirji

SU plans to address student apathy for federal election Alex Migdal News Staff

A prominent initiative that’s emerged from federal election campaigning has been the Liberal Party’s Canada Learning Passport, which promises future postsecondary students a $1,000 yearly grant over four years, and the Students’ Union will add their own plans to improve student interest.

SU Vice President (External) Aden Murphy picked the Learning Passport initiative, which would replace the current tax credit system, as the biggest step in the right direction that he’s heard in this election.

“Overall, [the Students’ Union] is cautiously optimistic. There’s a handful of different issues with the program, but it’s money that’s essentially going out to every student that opens up an RESP account,” he explained.

“As long as it’s coupled with an outreach program to schools to assure that students do open those accounts,

best of Campus Crime Beat Compiled by Alex Eldridge Grand theft auto III At 3:45 a.m. on March 24, UAPS received a call from security at the NINT building that a male was at their front desk reporting he had just been robbed at gunpoint in Windsor car park.

The robber stole the victim’s car and wallet. All UAPS units were dispatched to the area and EPS were contacted. EPS advised this had been the third such incident that day and asked UAPS to be on the lookout for a grey Oldsmobile that had been stolen earlier from a casino on Argyll Road. The first vehicle had been stolen from the River Cree Casino. The stolen Oldsmobile was recovered on the top level of Windsor car park. The victim was interviewed by EPS and given a ride home by UAPS. Failure to report At 12:30 p.m. on March 14, staff at the activity desk in Van Vliet contacted UAPS to report a male who had approached the desk and asked staff to write a note for his parole officer stating he had been in the area from noon to 2 p.m. When staff denied his request, he became bel-

then it should have the benefits of getting new students to go into postsecondary.”

Campaign promises in the election have done little to ease student apathy, which has been a persistent problem in the past. Murphy said that it poses a particularly unique problem to Alberta students due to the province’s largely conservative voting bloc.

“One of the barriers for [Alberta] students voting is that they believe that their vote won’t make a difference because, no matter what, if you’re in 27 of the 28 ridings in Alberta, your riding is essentially a pre-determined outcome,” saidMurphy.

However, the Edmonton-Strathcona riding is one of the most competitive ridings in the country this year, and Murphy says the election may come down to a few hundred votes, making interest among students that much more important.

A variety of initiatives will be launched in order to reduce voter apathy on campus. An election page

will soon be added to the SU website and the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations has already launched their website, studentsneedtovote.ca.

A forum will also take place next week at the Dinwoodie Lounge for candidates of the EdmontonStrathcona riding. In addition, the SU has sent out questionnaires to the candidates regarding changes they’d like to see made in students’ lives in the hopes of receiving video responses.

On top of the SU’s initiatives, Murphy will be spreading the word around campus by promoting the election in classes.

“The medium, in this sense, is kind of the message,” he said. “You have to be able to go out and reach students where they are and you have to be able to do it in ways that are seen as relatively frank, sincere and humorous, if possible.”

Students can vote in the federal election while still in Edmonton, either in advance on April 22, 23, or 25, or on the election day, May 2.

ligerent towards them and headed to the Pavilion. The male was described as dark-skinned, in his 20s, wearing a black hat or toque, and a dark hoodie. UAPS officers attended the area but weren’t able to locate the male.

told them a male had been standing on the hood of the vehicle and pulling on the windshield wipers. Officers located an intoxicated male who admitted to having been on the vehicle. He was issued a summons for being intoxicated in public and escorted off campus.

rivalry boils over Event staff at Clare Drake Arena contacted UAPS on March 11 at 8 p.m. to report an assault. When UAPS officers arrived, they were told that a male had approached them to report being punched in the face by a female. Further investigation showed that the male was yelling “Calgary sucks.” A female from Calgary took exception to the remarks and proceeded to punch the male. The victim told UAPS officers he didn’t want to report the incident to EPS, but did say his jaw hurt. The puncher’s friend apologized on her behalf.

A hankering for alcohol At 1:40 p.m. on March 8, UAPS received a report from staff of a break and enter into the bar area of the Timms Centre.

The perpetrators cut the locks on the coolers and helped themselves to wine, beer, cider, and champagne. EPS were contacted and arrived to continue the investigation.

Needed: One Wiper Blade UAPS received a report of a vandalized vehicle near Newton Place on January 24 at 11 p.m. When staff arrived on scene, they spoke to the witness, who

Quick, put the sofa in the van Staff at the Augustana campus contacted UAPS on February 2 at 11 a.m. to report that a sofa had been stolen from the Forum basement, valued at more than $700. Staff noticed the disappearance of the sofa when doing an inventory check on January 25. it’s my car, i swear On February 2 at 7:30 p.m., UAPS were contacted by EPS to report an auto theft in progress in the U/N zone lot next to HUB. Officers attended the area along with EPS and determined the registered owner of the vehicle was having lock problems and was not stealing his own vehicle. finders keepers UAPS were called on January 22 at 5 p.m. to investigate the “disappearance” of a $13,000 microscope from a lab in the Earth Sciences building. Staff in the area noticed the equipment missing during an inventory in December. An email was sent out to staff in the department asking if anyone had “borrowed” it, but no one has come forward with any information as to its whereabouts.

3

4

News

thursday, april 7, 2011

www.thegatewayonline.ca

Students to travel to Japan for new summer archaelogy project

Revised policy hoped to be less daunting

Kaitlyn Grant

Alcohol Continued From Page 1

A new adventure is starting for the University of Alberta students taking part in an archaeology project that will study prehistoric sites in Japan.

The Baikal-Hokkaido Archaeology Project is an international effort aimed to understand the prehistoric hunter-gatherer cultures. The group recently received a research grant that will enable the project to begin a long-term dig on Rebun Island, Japan.

The team members hope to obtain information on ancient societies and the way they lived to compare with findings from a previous project on Lake Baikal, Siberia. The comparison of the Japanese and Siberian sites will allow researchers to better understand the data they have already obtained.

The new project also provides opportunities for students to volunteer on the archaeological sites in Japan and to learn about Japanese archaeology and culture.

Andrzej Weber is the program director of the Baikal-Hokkaido Archaeology Project, which has been a work in progress for more than 10 years. Weber looks at the different aspects of the new project as an adventure.

“A new project always creates a new adventure in every respect. Adventure that involves working in a new country, excavating new archaeological sites, obtaining new data, finding new things, past cultures. Adventure of working with new people and doing something new together that has never been done before,” Weber said.

Students from Canada and Japan will be an integral part of the summer work in Japan.

Pub crawls were brought up several times at the town hall. The university issued waivers for them earlier this year, but didn’t explicitly condone pub crawls, prompting a review of the policy. According to Stack, pub crawls are prohibited at the University of Calgary. Some student groups rely on pub crawls as a source of generating income, as they are relatively simple events to organize and provide a high net profit margin.

Students’ Union Vice President (Student Life) Rory Tighe had the same concerns, saying that he wanted events to be as inclusive as possible.

“You don’t want to promote alcohol use, obviously, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy things,” he said. “I want to make sure that the process is as least administratively burdensome as possible. I want to make sure the process enhances the safety of the event, but that it’s not terribly overly complicated to plan something.”

Currently the responsibility of issuing permits is divided among Ancillary Services, the Alcohol Policy Review Committee, Risk Management, and the Office of the Dean of Students. The lack of a centralized structure meant delays in communication with student groups, who suggested a single, localized resource available online, or a single go-to person to help answer questions.

“You have to make sure the process is something students and faculty are willing to go through, and will go through,” Tighe said.

According to Director of Residence Services Dima Utgoff, the university will reassess the power and responsibilities of the separate offices in issuing permits.

“We want to make sure you are protected, and that everyone at the event enjoys themselves and goes home safely,” Stack said. “We don’t want to lose sight of the quality of the student experience.”

News Staff

supplied

DIG DUG Twenty students will travel to Hokkaido, Japan to study hunter-gatherer cultures.

While the University of Alberta and the Hokkaido University currently collaborate in the project, they are also working towards creating a joint degree between the schools.

“We will be running archaeological field schools [for] perhaps five years continuously starting this summer. There will be two terms: in July, there will be Western term and in August, there will be a Japanese term, for students to participate in excavations. In every term, we will accommodate about 20 students.”

New adventures involve plenty of hard work

and preparation. Weber said that the hardest part of preparing for the first steps in the field is learning the language.

The Baikal-Hokkaido Archaeology Project has plans to begin the project this summer. Despite the recent natural disasters that have struck Japan, Weber said that it has not impeded their progress.

“Hokkaido was not affected by the tsunami, earthquake, and damages to the nuclear power plant. In this regard, [it] is a very safe place to work.”

The Gateway

News

volume cI number 46

Researchers find new role for peatlands in climate change Hayley Dunning News Staff

Research being done at the University of Alberta on the growth of Northern Canadian peatlands is shedding new light on the relationship between peatlands and climate change.

Earth and Atmospheric Sciences graduate students Colin Cooke and Alberto Reyes looked at the relationship between the melting of the giant ice cap that covered Canada until 10,000 years ago. They found it was associated with a dramatic rise in methane, and the growth of northern peatlands. But they found a significant gap between the two, challenging the long-held view that it was the peatlands that caused the methane spike.

“As a peatland expands, it acts to [store] carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, while simultaneously releasing methane due to promotion of waterlogged conditions,” Reyes explained.

The complex link between when and how peatlands release greenhouse gases, like carbon dioxide and methane, affects how they will act as global warming melts the permafrost that underlies many of these boggy regions of the Arctic.

Peatlands represent thousands of years of carbon accumulation, and melting ground ice frees up great volumes of dense organic matter that decompose and release of greenhouse gases. Northern peatlands across Russia and Canada cover more than four million square kilometres, and as northern latitudes warm faster than the global average, they are expected to play a large role in the levels of future greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.

The large set of radiocarbon dates that represent the growth of peatlands were initially analyzed by another team. But Cooke and Reyes weren’t impressed with the way they calibrated the dates — a necessary step

Richard Peat

for getting the correct date from a raw radiocarbon age. So they decided to re-analyze the project independently of their normal graduate work.

“We started to take a look at the methods in detail, thought that we could make some real improvements, and started the work. I guess you could say this demonstrates the whole point of scientific publishing: someone presents their work, others critique it, publish their own take on the data, and hopefully science moves

forward,” Reyes said.

The pair are confident in their revised dates, and want to go on to see how the result affects the estimates of stored carbon in peatlands since the retreat of the continental ice cap.

The gap between the rise of methane and the initiation of peatlands now requires explanation, and Cooke and Reyes suggest the tropical peatlands may have been a big contributor, as a warming world increased the production of greenhouse gases.

Online CASA campaign set up to get students engaged in election Sarah Petz

The Manitoban (University of Manitoba)

WINNIPEG (CUP) — With the federal election well underway, one student organization has taken it upon themselves to get education issues on the table, while informing student voters at the same time.

The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations launched their online campaign last week with the creation of Studentsneedtovote.ca, where students can find details on party platforms, voter information and how postsecondary education issues are being addressed during the election.

The website also features a blog and links to Twitter streams featuring the Liberal, Conservative, NDP, Bloc Quebecois and Green parties.

CASA’s National Director Zach Dayler explained that while the campaign was motivated by CASA’s interest in increasing people’s understanding of the importance of investing in postsecondary education.

“The main impetus for the site was to put something out there that had

information resources,” Dayler said.

Dayler also noted the organization is hoping the campaign will act as a forum for students “to get their voice out” through social media platforms such as Facebook or Twitter.

“If students empty their pockets they’ll have an iPod, they’ll have some form of data phone. [...] They have these resources at their finger tips [...] we thought that was a great way to approach them, on a platform that they understand,” Dayler explained.

While the campaign is mainly based online, Dayler said CASA will be working with its 25 members across Canada to engage students face-toface. He said they have put money aside for their members to possibly fund the organization of debates on campuses or producing video content, if members decide to take them up on the offer.

“Social media is just one tool, it’s never going to replace the face-to-face communication on the ground,” he said.

However, Jared Wesley, an assistant professor of political studies at the University of Manitoba, said he

thought the focus of the campaign was misdirected, since university students are often more engaged and educated on political issues than the general population already.

“This whole idea that ‘let’s rock the student vote’ is actually counteracting a lot of efforts to get people that aren’t going to postsecondary education to vote,” he said.

Wesley argued the reason behind this is because student movements are often too focused on the issue of tuition.

Wesley also pointed out that equating student issues with youth issues is hurting efforts to get young voters not attending postsecondary education involved in the election and that too often politicians only campaign on university campuses to get in touch with young people.

“Politicians are focused on middleclass families when it’s the lower-class families that are starting out, that don’t have an education, that are not likely to vote,” he said.

“I realize it’s easy to campaign on campus, but it’s not solving the larger issue.”

5

Opinion

opinion@gateway.ualberta.ca

thursday, april 7, 2011

Don’t take it for granted

LOOKING BACK ON MY SIX YEARS AT THE University of Alberta is a terrifying prospect. But the one thought that keeps crossing my mind is, ‘Thank god I did something while I was here.’ As I’ve noticed during my time here, it seems increasingly easy to float through.

When you step back and think about it, the U of A has a lot going for it. For example, we have some of the best instructors in the country. It’s hard to make it to the end without at least one professor changing the way you think about the world. Increasingly, worldrenowned research is being done here in the fields of science and engineering at some of the most state-ofthe-art facilities in the country. There are thousands of intelligent undergraduate and graduate students walking the halls who will eventually leave to go impact the world. And there are many opportunities to have an influence on the world around you even while you’re here.

But while these are reasons to be proud, they are also quickly colliding with reality in a way that’s affecting our experience. It’s true — there are a lot of amazing and committed teachers here. At the same time, such instructors are being forced to make sacrifices, like trying to teach 500 students at a time. Similarly, students now have to pay fees that get them nothing in return while the university simultaneously cuts back on course sections and staff positions. As a result, many students continue to tune out, showing up to class and leaving after four years with a piece of paper. They never really get engaged or inspired by what surrounds them. Not surprisingly, when students get treated like cogs in a wheel, they begin to act accordingly.

And that’s the unfortunate part — it feels like fewer students are taking part in the larger campus community than when I first got here. It’s true that the campus is getting larger, and it can feel more impersonal. But in the end, involvement is a choice.

In hindsight, I barely remember a lot of my classes, exams, and essays; I remember my time at The Gateway. And when you look back on your university experience, whether positive or negative, no one will remember the lab reports and the late nights with their books. And no one will remember sitting on their laptop, listening to an iPod, or playing with an iPhone.

You remember the late nights studying because of the friends studying with you. You remember the connections you made and the activities you loved, as I’ll remember my time at The Gateway. You remember the professors and TAs who cared enough to learn your name and push you to be better than you were. You remember the Bears and Pandas games you attended with your fellow students and teachers, and the nights at RATT or Dewey’s. You remember the people that you crossed paths with while you were in the prime of your life. I think it’s both odd and telling that a record-setting dodgeball game that brought together faculty, students, and members of the administration was one of the few times in the last couple years where I actually felt a grander sense of what this university community is capable of achieving.

That’s what makes for a great university experience, and that’s what makes a great university — when people leave here feeling like they’ve been part of something more important than just getting a degree or a job. And that spirit is what I fear is slowly slipping away.

When you reach the end, you realize you’re here for a very short time. Don’t waste it. Looking back, I do feel like I had a great university experience. And you can too. But you have to make that choice.

Jonn Kmech

Ross Vincent

from the

web

Students should shut up about their political interests RE: (“Hastman’s irrelevant campaign,” Simon Yackulic, April 4) Your article is not only “boring” and “uninspired,” it’s whiny. You complain about Hastman not appealing to “student issues,” but even you can only come up with “copyright laws.”

The rest of the article is repetitive and shallow. Edmonton-Strathcona is a big riding, and post secondary isn’t federal. When you graduate, I think you’ll be pretty pleased to have a good economy and low taxes. It’s not exciting, but it’s not up to MPs to pursue your happiness, it’s up to you. Be happy if they just stay out of the way.

“bill”

Via Internet

Editor-in-Chief 2010/2011

Looking to the future While hard-working students may be focusing on studying for the end of the year right now, The Gateway is already looking forward. Starting in September, The Gateway is going to see some big changes, from a redesign to a new weekly release date on Wednesdays, so I hope you’re all along for the ride.

Alexandria Eldridge Editor-in-Chief 2011/2012

Hastman’s blandness lets down Edmonton’s Conservatives RE: (“Hastman’s irrelevant campaign,” Simon Yackulic, April 4) Hastman will do nothing for Edmonton-Strathcona.

Linda Duncan may not be the best but she’s a thousand times more productive on a sick day than Hastman would be riding the pines

on Harper’s backbenches.

This guy is so bland. He makes Harper look like a bon vivant. That’s saying something. There are all kinds of Edmonton Conservatives with feelings and emotions and opinions.

Why did they pick this guy?

I’m sure he’ll make a great backbencher.

“SD2”

campaign. If you doubt this, if you ever get a candidate alone during a campaign period (especially if they’re door-knocking) try and tie them down with policy questions.

See how long it takes for them to direct you to the national website and wish you a nice day.

“old School SU Hack”

Via Intenet

Via Internet

Local candidates just mouthpieces of national parties anyways RE: (“Hastman’s irrelevant campaign,” Simon Yackulic, April 4) I doubt any candidate on a national campaign would express much in the way of their own vision of policy. Given the strength of party discipline (especially in the case of the CPC) and the way in which local campaigns are in many cases directed from the regional offices of the central campaign (again, especially in the case of the CPC), the job of most candidates isn’t to express any sort of individuality. Rather it is to: 1) Identify potential supporters 2) Create illusion of “momentum” by placing sign on supporter’s yard 3) Make sure supporter knows when voting day is, and determine if supporter needs a ride.

That’s it. Door-knocking serves no purpose other than a GOTV effort that lasts the length of the

Clean water and fresh air not as cool as Hummers RE: (“Hastman’s irrelevant campaign,” Simon Yackulic, April 4) Just for clarification: you are all opposed to Linda Duncan because she wants your children to drink clean water and breathe fresh air? Some things are slightly more important than driving your Hummer at break neck speed.

“Your Name Here”

accountability for the money the head honchos are throwing away?

“disgruntled”

Via Internet

Student journalist’s career over after single article about baseball RE: (“Jays following a dismal flight path,” Matt Hirji, April 4) I know a lot of students want to write for their university newspaper as a way to build a resumé for eventually getting a job with a major newspaper. Sadly, after publishing this pile of hot garbage, this author’s hopes are essentially ruined. I wouldn’t even hire this guy to deliver the newspapers after reading this crap. Thanks for the laugh, though.

“Bret”

Via Internet

Via Internet

Baseball writing an No administrative extremely serious topic accountability for spendRE: (“Jays following a dismal flight ing amidst cuts RE: (“Faculties to face two per cent cuts,” April Hudson, April 4) And where did they get the $200,000 to fund an eHarmony matching students with researchers when they say they are laying instructors off?! What the heck is going on here? Where’s the

path,” Matt Hirji, April 4) Do you really think you are an authority on baseball? This article proves that you are not. You have stated so many glaring errors in fact, omissions in detail and shown you have no clue as to what is going on in MLB or Toronto. Maybe you should look over a complete set of facts and Please See Letters • Page 9

The Gateway

Opinion

volume ci number 46

New option off the port bow Pirate Party of Canada promises to pursue actual local representation in Parliament, and brings some much-needed diversity to the copyright debate Ryan Bromsgrove

M

aybe you hate the Conservatives, the Liberals, and the NDP. You know that ideological purity has to be sacrificed for the sake of a half-functioning democracy, sure, but a vote for any of the big three would actually be a fatal betrayal, and not an expression of your political voice.

You’ve looked among the smaller parties too, but you’ve been told to ignore them. They’re inexperienced, single-issue jokes. A vote for any of them will split the left/right/center, so don’t even bother with them.

So much for “get out there and vote!”

But then you find out that the leader of the Pirate Party of Canada, Mikkel Paulson, is running right here in Edmonton-Centre. Suddenly, the clouds part and a rainbow pierces the dreary skies of Canadian politics.

Out of a depressing reality — that, despite what they might occasionally say, the only thing the large federal parties want from young people is a volunteer base for their campaigns — arises a new voice. A party that actually realizes just what the hell this new internet thing is, and understands its

implications for creative innovation, privacy, information sharing, and government.

“The most pressing concerns are copyright and privacy. We definitely see action on these fronts from other parties, but it’s always in the wrong direction and never at election time,” Paulson told me.

Not everyone [...] wants the number of years an idea is covered by copyright to be the age of Mickey Mouse.

“The Conservatives introduced a bill (C-32) that would give DRM the force of law, thereby encouraging publishers to produce deliberately defective material,” he went on to say. He further explained that the opposition parties favoured a system of levies instead that would “theoretically” be distributed to artists who had been “theoretically” harmed.Then the election happened before the decision had to be made.

“The same bill will come up for a fourth time in the 41st Parliament,” Paulson promises, and he’s probably right. When Parliament does try once again, perhaps it’s time it remembers those of us who favour freedom of information. Not everyone, as the joke goes, wants the number of years an idea is covered by copyright to be the age of Mickey Mouse, and it’s time we

had representation on this topic.

At this point, of course, it would be customary to dismiss the Pirate Party as a single-issue fringe party.

Nothing fuels apathy like the attitude that the only voices that count are the established ones. But then, nothing keeps the new voices out more than the abhorrent practice of deriding the other options for the “sake of a stable government.”

As if there’s something inherently unstable about proper representation.

But on that front, Paulson has something to say about the party decides its larger platform. Though they’re unified on certain key issues, the candidates are given autonomy. “All of our MPs are responsible for representing their constituents above all. They’re not subject to party discipline, and there is no comprehensive platform to be constrained by. They build their own platforms, and they’re free to do as they please with them.”

But, of course, that’s scary, isn’t it?

The prospect of voting for a party whose entire platform you don’t know, and instead having to do the work of finding out what the candidate in your riding wants? The prospect of voting for a party that actually treats the people in the riding as individuals and attempts to represent them, rather than participating in country-wide pandering to a particular demographic instead?

It’s almost like the Pirate Party of Canada understands how democracy should work. It’s sad how that’s refreshing.

Lying is the key to getting that degree Mike Chafe

T

his year for my New Year’s resolution, I pledged to become a better person. I’m unhappy to report that this goal has been a spectacular failure. It’s really not my fault — improving yourself is a huge time commitment and I’ve been extremely busy with a lot of important stuff like watching police chases on YouTube and attempting to figure out why old people look like raisins. Needless to say, my goals of self-improvement are looking bleaker by the day. So rather than place the blame on the all-too-obvious combination of my ADD, chronic laziness, and misanthropic tendencies, I’m instead pointing the finger at the university.

Now, it’s no secret that I’ve had my gripes with the U of A in the past. For instance, my letter-writing campaign to have the university change the acronym for CAB to mean the “Candy and Blowjobs” building was nothing short of an unmitigated catastrophe.

The Man’s always getting me down.

However, my most serious complaint is that the university is responsible for making me a bad person. That’s right, the U of A has turned me into a compulsive liar.

We’ve all been there. Just last week, at 3 a.m., I found myself sitting at my dimly-lit desk, sweaty, shirtless, and crying. Before me was the task of writing a massive 20-page paper that

“I’ve already endured a bout of Ebola and an unfortunate but well-timed episode of Swahili smallpox, whatever that is. And I’ve completely lost count as to just how many times my Aunt Fern has died this year. She’d be so disappointed in me if she were alive, and not imaginary.” was due in five hours and the only essay topic I’d managed to come up with was, “If Jesus were still alive, would he drive a Volvo?”

It was at this point two things immediately popped into my head.

First, yes he would; with such a spacious interior and exceptional gas mileage, how could he lose? Secondly, I realized this must be what hitting rock bottom is like. It’s at this point my academic default springs into action, and a lie is afoot.

To be honest, I’m not too sure why society tends to look so negatively on the telling of lies. In reality, there’s nothing wrong with lying per se, except for the minuscule fact that at a fundamental level, they’re morally wrong. So rather than considering a lie to be an instrument of evil, I prefer to look at it as an art form, a finely crafted analogy that can be utilized within the university setting as an academic tool to your advantage.

Thus, I don’t see myself as a “liar,” but really more of an “artisté.” It is possible that I’m lying to myself.

I think you’ll find lying to be an extremely useful tool within the academic environment — lying to further your academic pursuits is just too easy, making it hard to resist the temptation. This semester alone, I’ve already endured a bout of Ebola and an unfortunate but well-timed episode of Swahili smallpox, whatever

that is. And I’ve completely lost count as to just how many times my Aunt Fern has died this year. She’d be so disappointed in me if she were alive, and not imaginary.

I’m afraid there’s simply no way to avoid such deception. The competition within academia has grown extremely fierce, forcing weaker students such as myself to resort to such dirty tactics as a means of survival.

Besides, we all know that a degree of any sort these days is surely built on a foundation of well-executed lies. According to statistics I made up and then subsequently uploaded to Wikipedia, the average bachelor’s degree is earned with a minimum of three dead grandmothers, one serious but not quite life-threatening illness, and one terminal pet sickness.

Obtaining a master’s degree on the other hand requires a much higher calibre of lie — a horrible plane wreck, or perhaps a run-in with the Bubonic Plague.

It’s clear I’m not alone in my compulsive lying. All across campus, fellow students are biding their time and extending their due dates with false tales of sick relatives, made-up diseases, and ill-fated pets. But that’s all I can say about this. In several moments, the gangrene will set into my arms, making any additional typing excessively difficult. It’s too bad I won’t be able to finish my English assignment.

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Opinion

thursday, april 7, 2011

www.thegatewayonline.ca

Hipsters facing ironic obscurity Andrew Douglas

T

he number of hipsters schlepping around campus seems to be rising exponentially. They sit in our classes and check Pitchfork on their MacBooks, sipping from their individually brewed cups of organic fair-trade coffee, or wander campus loudly discussing bands nobody else has heard of. Sure, they stimulate the economy by buying American Apparel T-shirts, suspenders, and plaid to wear in a casually ironic fashion, but hipsters present a very real and detrimental force in our current society. They essentially reduce the validity of real progressives and intellectuals, and in fact point out their own irrelevancy.

Hipsters present perhaps the most significant attack on the nerd community since they stopped making games for the N64. Ten years ago, if you wore a pair of thick black-framed glasses, you were either a nerd or an obsessive Drew Carey fan. Now every hipster seems to don them, paired with a pair of boots that they stole from a 19th-century school marm.

They have many leather-bound books, but their apartments do not smell of rich mahogany. This kind of faux intellectualism devalues the real nerds who read the Communist Manifesto in sixth grade and treat Jeopardy! like a religion. Generally speaking, most intellectuals don’t need to carefully maintain the appearance of academia — they actually live an intellectual lifestyle.

Hipsters are also an affront to the real activists of the world. Sure, your average hipster has a vague concern for the environment or some other cause that’s currently popular.

However, this concern pretty much ends at recycling or whatever simple act most effectively maintains this facade of concern without being too obtrusive to the production of moleskine notebooks.

For the real activists, shit disturbers, and anarchists ready to chain

Dan Mckechnie

PRETENDING NOT TO POSE You can’t ever look like you care.

themselves to something in pursuit of progressive action, a hipster is really an obstruction. Hipsters are merely contrarians without a cause. They oppose what is mainstream simply for the purpose of not being conformist. No true hipster is in favour of any element of current society, and vehemently opposes the status quo no matter what that is. Hipsters flaunt their lack of conformity as though it’s definitively unique, which is increasingly not the case.

Of course, maybe we can’t call hipsters contrarians anymore, since they often seem to compose the majority of the population. This demographic shift raises a serious issue for hipsters everywhere: if the hipster is no longer a unique phenomenon, then hipsterism loses its appeal.

This is simply because trying to be like a lot of other people in order to seem non-conformist is hypocritical.

Non-conformity is predicated on not being like everyone else, so trying to

adapt to some social phenomenon flies in the face of the definition of unconventionality. In this way, while the numbers of hipsters grow, they are in fact bringing about their own demise.

If some day hipsters really do represent the majority of the population, then they will be an entirely irrelevant majority. Hipsters being mainstream will of course leave the door open for a new social group to be the individualists going against the grain — someone’s got to fill the role.

My choice: the douchebags, because nothing says “I’m sticking it to the man!” more than blond highlights, a neck tattoo, and a tight Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt. “The Situation” is clearly the pinnacle of the anti-establishment attitude. So, if you want to seem edgy and cool, get rid of those skinny jeans and slap on a pair of big designer sunglasses. For if hipsters are now the majority, then the age of the douche is upon us.

readerpoll

“How will you be procrastinating during finals this time?”

Repeated attempts to clean surroundings to create an efficient study environment. (37%)

Procrasturbation: all day every day. (37%)

Try to track down Sheepert. He's so soft... (14%)

Shuffling papers from one end of the desk to the other, and back again. (12%)

The Gateway

Opinion

volume ci number 46

Letters • Continued from page 6

present them realistically.

Nobody is expecting a World Series this year. If you had been paying attention to what A.A. is doing, you would realize that he is not signing dubious big-name talent, but building longterm quality relationships with up-andcoming young stars.

Vernon Wells ‘left’ during the off season? His expensive contract to an aging, injury-prone player was unloaded, and the funds were almost immediately used to sign a player who put in better numbers than V.W. ever did, and is younger.

Toronto is not a small market. The value of the team is not only in the fans in the seats, but as a broadcast product. Clearly, the ownership recognizes this.

Comparing the Jays to the Rays is another clear sign of your ignorance. The Rays have lost the majority of their winning squads, due to a failure to sign their young talent to long-term contracts.

“John Wreckmaster”

Via Internet

Family medicine facing shortages RE: (“Med school seats shouldn’t be sold,” Alexandria Eldridge, April 4)

A big part of the problem is a lot of the graduating medical students don’t want to go into family medicine. They are aiming for specialties, such as dermatology, radiology, plastic surgery, etc. They want the high-paying specialties! They feel that family medicine is “beneath them” in many cases.

I wish there was a way we could get more medical students to choose family medicine. That’s where the real shortage lies.

“Grad Student” Via Internet

Letters to the editor should be sent to letters@gateway.ualberta.ca or delivered via paper airplane to SUB 3-04.

Website comments may occasionally be printed.

The Gateway reserves the right to edit letters for length and clarity, and to refuse publication of any letter it deems racist, sexist, libellous, or otherwise hateful in nature.

Letters to the editor should be no longer than 400 words, and should include the author’s name, program, and year of study to be considered for publication.

However, since this is actually the last issue, sending us a letter is sort of a waste of your time. If you send a letter now, it will definitely not be printed. So if we made you angry, just go study or whatever.

9

ThreeLinesFree

Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us at threelinesfree@gateway.ualberta.ca, tweet @threelinesfree, or message us at www.thegatewayonline.ca/threelinesfree Brown guy at hubs AW, because of you I was gay for like five mins. If I looked like you, she probably wouldve say yes Message: Stop canceling my MICRB classes!!

How do you increase something by zero percent? Who edits this thing?

TLF should grow and take over some articles...especially those periodical braburning ones To the French girl at Campus St Jean(La Centrale)... You’re a cutie !!!

Beware the girl from the French campus who likes to bite.

To the guys in the back of psych 104 from 12-1- for the love of god shut up! Finals are in a few weeks and I would actually like to hear the prof. Sincerely, an arts student in a science class Rolling up the rim Hope for a car or nice bike Stuck with shit coffee There are rumours that the Gateway is switching to only once a week next year...

What’s the deal with homework? You’re not working on your home. honey, your boyfriend likes anal. he doesn’t think it’s gross. youre naive.

Always Late Guy in Poli Sci 101 - You owe me $45 in lost tuition fees for being so distracting.

Smokers are evil and malicious! How DARE they smoke outside in a well ventilated area!?!

Some of us lulu-wearers are in drama and are required to wear movement pants.

Sorry, we don’t care what you think.

To all the whiny losers bitching about having to walk behind smokers, here’s an idea: WALK AROUND. Or are you too busy being self righteous that you can’t be bothered to move your fat ass an extra couple of steps?

I want to watch the English-language leaders’ debates on Tuesday, but someone scheduled a lab exam (for my Thursday labs, no less) at the same time. The U of A should encourage students to follow the election, not interfere with those who want to.

I think Dr. Rick Bowers is a total fox.

Fat Man in HIST 377, please stop acting like this class is entirely for your benefit. The prof isn’t there to have a one-on-one chat with you.

to the two girls writing a paper until 2 am this monday on cameron, you were insanely cute and ht. sincerely, the guy also writing a paper at such ungodly hours.

Vomit, plastic cups, Bloody gauze: things on the street Seriously? Gross!

If the University wants to get GREEN, they should convert the energy generated during spin classes into power for Van Vliet. We rev up a storm in there! It would be awesome!

Darn, now that touque season is over, I’m going to have to start washing my hair again...

Dear know it all girl in hecol 313, please eat a massive piece of humble pie.

Dear French TA, you are so hot!!! I wish I could go back to Paris with you! I’ll miss you!!!

Thank fucking god this year is over. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of this goddamn shithole.

Rutherford library is not your living room.

This isn’t the place to eat reheated fish & rice dishes. This isn’t the place to talk loudly on the phone about how drunk you were. This isn’t the place to check out sluts from The Rack on facebook.

The Gateway reserves the right to edit any submissions, as well as refuse publication of any submission it deems racist, sexist, hateful, libellous, or overtly offensive. The Gateway cannot guarantee that your submission will be used (but we’ll try). Submissions should be 130 characters max (including spaces).

Thank you U of A for finally setting up the Gmail system. It’s a radical improvement from Webmail.

10

Feature

thursday, april 7, 2011

A speck of Orange in a Sea of Blue Managing Editor Justin Bell follows the campaign trail of federal election candidates in Edmonton-Strathcona

I

t’s a warm day in late March when Linda Duncan starts knocking on doors just south of the university.

Slush covers the ground, making life difficult for the four volunteers who have decided to join the NDP candidate in an election ritual — walking door to door to talk to voters where they live.

And while typical political wisdom would say Duncan, as the incumbent, would have an easy time trying to win back her Edmonton seat, she knows it will be a difficult slog. She won the 2008 federal election by a mere 463 votes, a little more than half a per cent of the total votes cast in the riding.

Duncan is running again for her seat in Edmonton-Strathcona, the federal riding that encompasses the University of Alberta, and is home to many students. The west end of the riding has a history of electing NDP members; Edmonton-Strathcona is also the name of a provincial riding held by NDP member Rachel Notley.

But it also spans east to the city limits, taking in working-class neighbourhoods such as Bonnie Doon, Ottewell, and Holyrood.

Gene Zwozdesky, the current Minister of Health and Wellness for the Progressive Conservatives, holds down Edmonton-Mill Creek, the provincial riding that encompasses the east end of the federal constituency.

It’s this mix of voting patterns that Duncan stepped into in the last federal election. Prior to her victory, Edmonton-Strathcona had been held for 11 years by Rahim Jaffer, who had followed the progression of conservative parties on the prairies, from Reform to Canadian Alliance, and finally the Conservative Party of Canada in 2003.

In 2008, it would come down to the wire on election night. But at the end of it, Duncan would become the only non-Conservative MP in Alberta, and one of only two who aren’t Tories between Alberta and Saskatchewan.

Duncan is back on the campaign trail this year, trying to boost support for her campaign and give herself a bit more breathing room.

“Most important is I hope I win again. But it would be nice to get a bigger margin so I could catch my breath a bit more,” says Duncan as she walks between houses. “It’s just trying to turn the corner and make people care about the substantive issues. I’m seeing a turn already. I think people are tired of talking about the scandals.”

Duncan is focusing on a number of issues this year, from health care to affordability of education. She wants to see more money to train nurses and doctors at institutions such as the U of A, as well as more money for pharmaceutical drugs to be covered under health care. “[Edmonton-Strathcona] had the highest voter turnout in Alberta.

We have no lack of enthusiasm here. The biggest issue for people in Alberta is health care. After that, affordability. Big time for the students.”

As the incumbent, Duncan has come under attack by a number of other candidates. But she refuses to hit back directly, instead lambasting Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the Conservative Government for their actions in Parliament.

It’s been candidates such as Ryan Hastman who are taking their shot at Duncan, trying to bring down the incumbent.

Hastman is taking up the Conservative banner this year. He was nominated as the Tory candidate in April 2009 and has been working since then to increase his presence in the riding.

www.thegatewayonline.ca

The Gateway

Feature

volume ci number 46

11

“I think a lot of students are just going to not bother voting because they’re not sure which riding they should vote in, whether it’s in Edmonton where they live, or their home, wherever that may be.”

— Andrew Fehr Green Party Candidate

“It’s just trying to turn the corner and make people care about the substantive issues. I’m seeing a turn already. I think people are tired of talking about the scandals.”

— Linda Duncan NDP Candidate (Incumbent)

For him, the election has one major issue: the economy.

“Here in Strathcona, and across the country, one of the biggest drivers of our economy is small business, but also technology innovation.

So, we’re the heart of the digital economy here. I think it’s important to nurture that,” he said.

That would mean continued support for the U of A through programs like the Knowledge Infrastructure Program, which has put $2 billion into postsecondary infrastructure in the country. Hastman also highlighted the government’s decision to fund more Canada Research Chair positions, another 10 of which were included in the 2011 federal budget that didn't pass.

With such a close outcome in the 2008 election, Hastman is prepared for a long fight this election season. He said he's already knocked on 16,000 doors in the riding since his nomination, trying to reach as many people as possible. He’s predicting another close race this year — when asked, he knows the exact number of votes that Duncan won by in the last election.

“I think it will be close. I think it will come down to [an] excruciating hundred votes, or something like that. Both sides are mobilized, both sides are running good campaigns.”

With a close election, there isn’t much room for error. But Hastman stumbled in the first few days of his campaign.

Sebastien Togneri caused a stir just days into the campaign when the Canadian Press found out he was volunteering for Hastman. Togneri is a former aid to Public Works Minister Christian Paradis who is being investigated by the RCMP over claims that he interfered in Access to Information requests put forward by the Canadian Press.

The story broke nationally and was huge for a few days at the end of March.

“I think there’s been a couple bumps in the road for the Conservative campaign,” said Steve Patten, an associate professor in the department

of Political Science at the U of A. “As much as the ethics of a single volunteer really isn’t a big deal and we shouldn’t let it reflect on the candidate, the fact that it was in the news — it’s something that is a bump in the road.”

For his part, Hastman said Togneri was a friend who volunteered to put together a few signs and had left the campaign. But the news coverage of the event, from the national press to a scathing article by Edmonton Journal columnist Graham Thomson, all adds up to a potential problem for Hastman.

“An article like that makes a difference in the margins. And it’s only in the margins, but in a close race, the things happening in the margins are really important,” Patten said.

But even then, Patten admits that the Thomson article will be “history” by the time voters head to the polls at the beginning of May. By then, Hastman and his campaign could have time to overcome the negative press.

A bigger indicator of this year’s results could be the efforts by both campaigns to get their voters to the polls. With more experience in getting their constituents out on election day, Duncan could hold the upper hand. But the last federal election's results, where Jaffer’s total number of votes dropped by more than 2,000, the Conservative campaign may push harder to mobilize their supporters.

The attention being paid to the region by the national leaders could be an indication of the importance being placed on the riding. NDP Leader Jack Layton made Edmonton his first campaign stop, while Stephen Harper was in the region to promote Hastman a few days later. And Patten said that likely won’t be the last time the leader of a major political party makes a stop in Edmonton.

But Hastman and Duncan aren’t the only two politicians running in Edmonton-Strathcona.

The two other candidates, both students at postsecondary institutions in the city, offer some

hope that students are starting to pay attention to politics.

With a late nomination and a campaign run out of a communal office downtown, Patten doesn’t think the Liberal candidate Matthew Sinclair has much of a shot. And the Liberals for Linda campaign, which started in the 2008 election, could draw enough votes away from Sinclair to seriously hurt his chances of being elected. Patten said he’s heard the campaign will be back this year.

But Sinclair, a 21-year-old political science student from MacEwan, isn't giving up. He identified transparency, the economy, and good governance as the major issues in this election.

“The whole reason this election was called [was due to] the contempt of Parliament. A Liberal government would respect the voters and be honest with them,” Sinclair said.

“I want to show people that I’m here. I’m prepared to represent Edmonton-Strathcona with progressivism. I have tremendous respect for the other candidates. But I feel the Liberal Party of Canada has more to offer to EdmontonStrathcona.”

Sinclair said he was disappointed by the Liberals for Linda campaign, a group pulling Liberal support towards the NDP candidate. He said he hopes people see the Liberals as a strong alternative to the Conservative government. And he dismissed the idea that the Liberals weren’t serious about the riding.

“We’re running a full, head-on campaign here,” Sinclair said. “We’re here because we want to show people we are the balanced alternative.”

Rounding out the four major candidates in Edmonton-Strathcona is Green candidate Andrew Fehr, an environmental economics and policy student at the University of Alberta.

While he recognizes he doesn’t have much of a chance to win the riding — Green support in 2008 was at only 6.4 per cent in the riding — he wants to use the election to push issues he

considers important.

“I want to raise the profile of certain issues in this riding, such as climate change and the need to produce a renewable energy economy, and make sure federal funding comes through for the LRT system that so many Edmonton-Strathcona residents would benefit from,” Fehr said.

His campaign is running on a shoestring budget with few volunteers. He’s having to set up and handle all the media requests himself, as well as knock on doors and hand out lawn signs, everything normally handled by a crew of volunteers.

Fehr admits his marks have slipped as a result of the election’s timing, with campaigning coinciding with finals season. And with a May 2 vote, it could mean more students aren’t in Edmonton-Strathcona when it comes time to mark their ballot.

“I think a lot of students are just going to not bother voting because they’re not sure which riding they should vote in, whether it’s in Edmonton where they live, or their home, wherever that may be,” Fehr said.

Who will come out on top in the May 2 vote is still far from sure. With almost four weeks before voting day, anything could happen, and there’s more than enough time for any candidate to pull themselves up in the polls.

Fehr, Sinclair, Hastman, and Duncan were the only candidates running in their riding as of press time. The final nominations for candidates is due April 11, and a confirmed list of candidates will be released April 13. Check the Elections Canada website (www.elections.ca) for updated candidate information, as well as other information about the voting process.

The Students’ Union will be running an all-candidates forum on Tuesday, April 12 at noon at Dinwoodie Lounge in SUB. The final details haven’t been confirmed, so check the SU website (www.su.ualberta.ca) for updated information.

“I think it will be close. I think it will come down to [an] excruciating hundred votes, or something like that. Both sides are mobilized, both sides are running good campaigns.”

— Ryan Hastman Conservative Party Candidate

“We’re running a full, head-on campaign here. We’re here because we want to show people we are the balanced alternative.”

— Matthew Sinclair Liberal Party Candidate

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Feature

thursday, april 7, 2011

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“Ladies and Gentlemen, the nex The voice booms from the centre of the ring and the sold-out crowd of 2,000 fans roars at the River Cree Resort & Casino. Thousands of lights illuminate the stage as the man in the tuxedo, in his perfect announcer voice, calls the next fight of the night for MFC 28: Supremacy.

The first fighter out is Thomas “Wildman” Denny, a veteran of the sport who runs out from the backstage area and down the stairs.

The boos echo from across the crowd. “You suck!” yells one man as Denny strides towards the ring. His opponent that night, Sheldon Westcott, garners a different reaction when he rushes out and jumps down the colourfully lit stairs. The crowd screams in approval for the hometown Edmonton boy.

The fighters step into the ring. The crowd erupts. They want blood. They want sweat.

They’re going to get it tonight. But it makes you wonder: why do people like this?

The Fighters Two days before the Maximum Fighting Championship holds their fight night at the River Cree, just outside the city on the west side of Edmonton, the fighters gather for a press conference.

They all sit at long tables behind their microphones calmly, laughing and joking with the guys who they’ll be trying to beat into submission in just a few days. Denny is seated at the end of the table, laughing and flashing a toothy grin in an almost unhinged way as he chats with the others. Covered in tattoos, he’s wearing a ball cap that proudly states “Punching people in the face since 1999,” which, when removed, reveals a pink mohawk that matches his pink fingernails with black polka dots. Despite his 5’10” stature, he’s still an imposing figure, living up to his Wildman nickname.

There are thousands of fighters like Denny across North America now, an impressive feat for a sport that didn’t even exist on the continent just two decades ago. To say that mixed martial arts (MMA) is rapidly growing would be a massive understatement. It’s widely been called the “fastest growing sport in the world,” given that it only got its start as a business in 1993 and is now a billion-dollar industry.

Pitting fighters of different disciplines against each other goes back hundreds of years, but the heart of today’s MMA competitions lies in Brazil, in a style of fighting event called Vale Tudo — which translates to “anything goes.”

These bare-knuckled, no-holds-barred matches were brutal, typically underground, and not sanctioned by any sports regulatory body.

These characteristics followed the sport to the U.S., where Art Davie, an ad executive from California, proposed the idea of a tournament to his friend Rorion Gracie, a member of the famous Gracie family who pioneered Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), a popular fighting style in Vale Tudo matches. The tournament would pit fighters of different styles against each other to see which martial art was the most effective. Billed as having “no rules” (though a few rules such as no eye gouging did exist) and no decisions (meaning matches were won only by submission, knockout, or one side quitting), the tournament was christened the Ultimate Fighting Championship, and Rorion chose his brother Royce to represent their family and the BJJ style in the event.

The now-legendary tournament, held on November 11, 1993, in Denver, Colorado, was won by Royce Gracie, one of the sport’s first legends, who went on to win UFC 2 and UFC 4, in turn inspiring thousands of current amateur and professional fighters. The event also started what would become the largest MMA organization in the world.

At the time, Denny was working a day job.

Having started boxing at the age of 10 and adding kickboxing to his repertoire when he was 17, Denny seemed destined to enter a sport which hadn’t really come into its own yet, and wasn’t even considered a sport by many. At the time in the mid-’90s, the UFC was still relatively small and not accepted in the mainstream. It was also somewhat intimidating, Denny recalls.

“I had pulled myself out of all martial arts all together, started a family, worked a real job, was kind of a slave to the man,” he says. “I was working 60-70 hours a week and the UFC was getting really big. All my friends were constantly calling me and saying, ‘Man, this is the sport for you.’ And I was like, ‘Do you see how big these guys are? I’m 170 pounds — some of

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No Holds

Barred Jonn Kmech explores the cultural phenomenon of Mixed Martial Arts photos by Jonn kmech and jacob bos

xt match will be three rounds!” these guys are like 300 pounds. I can’t get in to this!’ ” This lack of regulations hampered the UFC in the beginning, keeping it relatively low-key and causing many people to perceive MMA in general as a fringe bloodsport rather than a legitimate competition between highly skilled martial artists. But as its popularity increased, the UFC began to attract attention, particularly from U.S. legislators who considered it dangerous and uninhibited.

One of its fiercest opponents in the mid90s was Arizona Senator John McCain, who famously referred to the UFC as “human cockfighting.” It was a description which wasn’t entirely unmerited in the early days, when groin strikes were allowed and the lack of weight classes could result in weight differences of over 100 pounds between fighters. The majority of states banned MMA competitions, driving the league further underground in the late ‘90s, despite the fact that they had began slowly introducing reforms such as adding different weight classes and having fighters wear gloves, rather than battle bare-knuckled.

It was during this time that Denny began training in jiu-jitsu at the Joe Moreira school in Newport Beach, California, an experience that led to his career, even though he entered with no expectations and the occasional risk to his legal and personal safety.

“Joe came to me and said, in his little Portuguese accent, ‘I see something in your blood, man; fighting is going to be good for you,’ ” Denny remembers fondly. “I trained for six weeks and he put me in my first tournament.

I ended up choking out three guys; got a gold in my first tournament. It was kind of crazy. Then Joe showed me an old IVC tape, with Pele vs.

Macaco, Wanderlei Silva, all these guys in Brazil with no gloves, headbutts — full-on, no-rules fighting. I was like, ‘Wow, how do I get into this?’ He’s like, ‘There’s going to be a show in Torrance, [California]. It’s all underground, all illegal, there’s no sanctions, no nothing.’ I was like, ‘Sign me up — let’s go have some fun.’ ” In order to pursue what was quickly becoming his passion, Denny began fighting in illegal underground matches, where safety wasn’t a question and the police would

occasionally threaten fighters.

“In America, it was all illegal [at the time].

It was all in nightclubs,” Denny says. “I had where cops would come in and take a picture of me, and be like, ‘If you fight tonight, you’ll be arrested!’ And I’d still fight. I never got arrested.”

The fight in Torrance proved personally fruitful for Denny, if not financially.

“I ended up winning all three fights, all by knockout, in a total time of two minutes. I made $100. The best $100 I ever made,” Denny says, laughing out loud. “I went back to my wife at the time and said, I think I want to give this sport a try.”

Thirteen years later, the 39-year-old Denny is a veteran in the ring, with a personal record of 27-18-1. The sport became his life and he now owns a 10,000-square-foot training center in Centennial, Colorado, where he helps train more than 25 fighters.

As Denny talked, it was clear how friendly and down-to-earth he was for a guy who had been punching people in the face for the last 13 years.

And judging by that day, it seemed like most of the fighters there were just as friendly, even with each other. Denny says the camaraderie between fighters is one of the reasons he loves the sport.

It’s based on an admiration from both opponents who respect their rival for putting it all on the line.

“We beat the crap out of each other. Winner takes all. Then we get up and hug. And we go out to dinner or go hang out, or I go stay at their house for a week. What other sport has that? It’s awesome.”

A proud family man, the idea that Denny’s hair and nails are done solely for intimidation purposes evaporates when he explains the sentimental reason for his colourful aesthetic.

“I have two daughters and they can’t get in to spar with me, they can’t come in and hold pads.

So they get to paint my nails or do my hair,” he says somewhat bashfully. “When they watch me fight on TV or watch me in a fight—how cool is it to say, ‘Hey, wait until you see my dad’s nails—I did them pink with black polka dots.’ ” Perhaps that’s why it felt so unfortunate to see such a nice guy getting his ass kicked.

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Round One In the fight, the much younger Westcott comes out energetically and gets on top of Denny, proceeding to pound the hell out of him. The crowd cheers emphatically as Westcott rains haymakers down on Denny’s head, who desperately tries to improve his position. At one point, Westcott has Denny in a brutal choke that almost looks like it’s going to snap his neck. It would make anyone wince. But admirably, Denny doesn’t give, and survives to the end of the round, going back to the corner as the crowd shouts praise for Westcott. As hard rock blares and ads for energy drinks flash on the giant screens hanging overhead, a well-dressed man moves through the crowd, shaking hands, laughing with people, and always looking back towards the ring with a determination in his eyes.

The Promoters “It’s easy for people to go, they’re good at this or they’re good at that. I’m not. I’m just good at this. But I’m really good at this.”

Mark Pavelich was born to be a promoter. You can see it in the confident way he carries himself, like the world is his for the taking. With his gelled black hair and smooth-talking charisma, it wouldn’t take much to convince anyone that this truly was Pavelich’s calling. As he talks, he keeps getting interrupted by people needing his opinion, his advice, or even his signature.

Although he seems to be signing an autograph, Pavelich quickly corrects the assumption.

“No, he’s an agent,” he explains with a smile.

“I was making a deal.”

Having owned an entertainment business before getting into mixed martial arts, Pavelich is currently the CEO of MFC. Started in 2000 and based out of Edmonton, MFC was the first organization of its kind to be legally sanctioned in Canada outside Quebec. A family-owned business, with his wife Manon and son Dave both working as Vice Presidents, MFC is a labour of love for Pavelich.

“I wake up every day going, ‘I want to do this.’

My daughter who’s 14 asked me, ‘If you won $50 million tomorrow, what would you do?’

And I said, ‘Exactly what I’m doing now.’ ” Around the time Pavelich started his organization, the UFC in the U.S. was beginning a renaissance of sorts. The reforms that were being adopted began to take hold, and both lawmakers and the public were starting to accept MMA as a legitimate sport rather than a free-for-all cagefight. The fights were eventually sanctioned in the U.S., as state regulatory commissions slowly began to come on board.

But years in the underground and difficulty attracting television deals had the UFC teetering on bankruptcy at a point. Even as that growth was beginning, the sport still wasn’t making money. The first sign of improvement came when the league was sold to a new company, who installed Dana White as UFC President, arguably the most influential person in the sport, who was integral to launching MMA into the mainstream. But even under the guidance of the new management and despite securing TV deals and promotions, the UFC struggled in the early 2000s. The sport still couldn’t seem to find a way to appeal to the masses.

That problem was solved thanks to White and the creation of The Ultimate Fighter. A reality show produced by the UFC that first aired on Spike TV in 2005, where fighters competed against each other for the chance of getting signed to a six-figure UFC contract. Initially a last-ditch attempt by the organization to garner a broader audience, the show is now in its 13th season, which premiered on March 30. Along the way, it’s spawned numerous champions and was instrumental in propelling MMA into the cultural consciousness, finally giving the sport the air of mainstream legitimacy that had long eluded it.

Although the MFC is still smaller than the UFC, Pavelich has been instrumental in promoting the sport within Canada and has seen similar growth in the mid-2000s within his own organization, which is now the biggest in the country. And Pavelich asserts that this was all due to his own drive towards success.

“I worked for the growth. When I was doing it and started getting bigger, I was getting excited, like ‘Oh, this is going to get bigger.’

Now there’s no end to what I’m going to do.

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[...] In the beginning, I didn’t even think about making money — I just loved it. Now, it’s about making money.”

And there’s a lot of money to make in the burgeoning enterprise. In 2006, as its popularity continued to skyrocket, the UFC finally broke one million viewers on pay per view and had revenue of more than $222 million US, the first year that the organization surpassed WWE and boxing in revenue. As well, in 2008, UFC fights began to consistently get more viewers than WWE on pay-per-view and now attract anywhere between 250,000 to 750,000 viewers, along with earning several million dollars each from tickets at the gate, according to Mmapayout.com, a site that tracks the industry’s financial situation. In 2010, UFC pay-per-view revenue alone was around $465 million US. Similarly, MFC’s expansion has included a contract with broadcaster HDNet, which puts MFC pay-per-view in thousands of homes all across North America as well as into Mexico.

Pavelich’s organization currently has more than 200 fighters signed and at a point, MFC sold out 18 shows in a row. The sport is particularly popular in Edmonton, though Pavelich asserts that it was because he “made it that way,” and he sees his growing business as a worthy contender to the largest MMA organization.

“As we get bigger, we become, not a competitor, but a thorn,” he says, before grinning. “I want the thorn to become bigger.”

He’s currently working towards that in Ontario. One of the longest hold-outs in terms of sanctioning the sport, Premier Dalton McGuinty’s government had resisted for years, despite promoters frothing at the mouth for the chance to hold events in the province. The government finally caved in August 2010, setting the stage for organizations like the UFC and MFC to move in.

Canada has some of the most fervent MMA supporters in the world, for reasons not entirely understood. The epicentre is Toronto, long considered the MMA “mecca,” where the UFC will hold their first fight, UFC 129, on April 30. The event, widely anticipated to be the largest in the history of the sport, sold out its 55,000 tickets within minutes.

However, Pavelich beat the UFC to the punch, and will be holding the aptly titled MFC 29: Conquer in Windsor, Ontario on April 8.

Pavelich eventually dreams of a worldwide audience for the franchise he’s built over the past decade.

“I want to be in Croatia. I want to be in India.

I’d like to go over to those countries and watch my show there. And I want to bow. I really do,” Pavelich says confidently. “I want to bow, one day, when I’m done this. I want to say, ‘Now try to do it better than I just did.’ Good luck.

The sacrifice involved in what I do — there’s no word for it.”

Round Two Pavelich smiles from ringside as he looks up at his warriors. After taking a pummelling, Denny comes out with a new burst of energy against Westcott. The pair trade blows, rolling around and taking turns slamming each other to the matt in a much more even round, but Westcott`s lack of experience starts to show in his endurance near the end, compared to the hardened veteran. After the horn goes, the pair go to their corners and get checked over by their teams and the medical staff, a check to ensure they can keep going.

The Controversy Despite how far MMA has evolved, a stigma remains. Though mixed martial arts is now sanctioned in 44 of 48 U.S. states and seven Canadian provinces, there’s still a resistance to the flourishing sport. Last summer, both the Canadian Medical Association (CMA) and the president of the B.C. Medical Association called for bans of the sport in the country. “It’s savage and brutal. The aim is to disable and maim your opponent […] We should not tolerate this socalled sport in a civilized society,” Dr. Victor Dirnfeld, a previous CMA president, told a CMA general council at the time, according to The Globe and Mail.

But Dr. Shelby Karpman disagrees. A sports medicine specialist at the U of A’s Glen Sather Sports Medicine Clinic, Karpman has been working ringside at boxing and MMA matches for 20 years. While he notes that MMA fights

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do result in more facial and hand injuries than other sports, he says that otherwise, the injury rate is comparable to football and hockey.

“Do you see injuries? Sure. Do you see catastrophic injuries? Sure. But you see it in all the other sports, too,” Karpman argues. “And the people who stand up and say MMA should be outlawed — if you’re going to say that there’s a risk and you should ban a sport, then you should be banning football and potentially you should be looking at banning hockey, because concussion rates in football and hockey are well above anything that I see in MMA.” A 2008 study by the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that MMA fighters experience severe concussions in about three per cent of their fights and concluded that the rate of injuries is similar to other sports. As well, a recent 2011 paper from the U of C published in the Canadian Journal of Surgery argued that doctors needed to be “evidence based, not emotion based.” On the subject and added that injuries from horseback riding, football, and hockey, “dwarf the small number of injuries among few MMA combatants,” based on the number of participants “If you’re looking to ban a violent sport, you should be looking at comparing injury rates,” Karpman insists. “So when people stand up to ban MMA because it’s violent, those people have no evidence to back up what ‘violence’ is.”

According to Karpman, there have only been two deaths associated with MMA fights. And while there have been no studies done yet on the long-term health consequences, given the sport’s age, he believes the risks will be similar to boxing or football, given the current injury rates. Karpman, who was working ringside for MFC 28, argues that MMA is easy to condemn

due to its intended goal.

“Boxing and mixed martial arts are easy targets because at the end of the day, the expressed goal is to knock the other guy out. But at the end of the day, that doesn’t happen as frequently as people think it does.”

Round Three Although it may not happen often, it’s Denny who looks close to securing a knockout at this point. Taking advantage of his young opponent’s exhaustion, Denny gets behind Westcott on the ground. The young Edmontonian looks barely lucid as the veteran batters him on the side of the head from behind, while Westcott tries to keep an arm up to prevent getting choked out. But much like Denny earlier on, he valiantly holds on until the horn goes. The crowd erupts. The fight would go to a decision.

The Culture Love it or hate it, it’s hard to deny that MMA has turned into an impressive cultural phenomenon and multibillion dollar industry. MMA action figures and merchandise is sold, and the UFC is now broadcast to more than 130 countries, in more than 20 languages, worldwide. Canadian superstar Georges St. Pierre has been named Rogers Sportnet Canadian Athlete of the Year for the past three years. The sport has millions of devoted fans and shows no real signs of slowing down.

Dr. Bryan Hogeveen, a U of A associate professor of sociology who studies MMA, says that there are multiple reasons that fans are attracted to the sport aside from the violence that everyone focuses on.

“Lots of people who look at it from a surface

level are going to focus on the very visceral connection people have, how it’s tied to the violence.

And for sure, there is that aspect of it. But if we only consider that aspect, we neglect a lot of the other reasons people enjoy it.”

Besides the excitement and unpredictability, Hogeveen says that a major element of why people like it is the storyline that unravels as they follow their favourite fighter, an aspect that was helped immensely by The Ultimate Fighter.

Another factor that weighs into the MMA fanbase, according to Hogeveen, is nationalism. Fans may follow stars like St. Pierre simply because he’s Canadian, rather than because they like MMA. As well, many love fighting simply due to the physical rigour required.

“It’s not just two guys going into the cage and swinging for the fences. These guys are very technical and very skilled. They’re very good at what they do. It takes years and years of training and dedication to become an elite level fighter.”

Finally, Hogeveen addressed a larger cultural factor that he believes allows MMA to prosper today, when it may have sunk in the past.

“I think it also ties into our postmodern or neoliberal society. Comparing MMA to boxing — which I don’t like to do — but if you look at George Foreman-Mohammad Ali, Rumble in the Jungle, and you look at that fight, that took a long time. It takes a long time for the [Ali] strategy of rope-a-dope to come out. You see the same thing with music. You take a look at Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony; it takes a lot of patience and time for that to develop,” Hogeveen explains. “When we look at our postmodern society, when you take a look at music, that hook is right at the beginning of the song, and songs are only three minutes.

What we look for is that very quick payoff. It’s

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the same with MMA — a lot of fights finish in the first or second round.”

This reflects in the sport’s broad appeal across various societal demographics. Although there are limited opportunities for female MMA fighters compared to male, an estimated 35 to 45 per cent of the UFC viewership is women. Ultimately, seeing a one-on-one fight — with two people battling to the end for glory until there is a victor — is a very primal motivator in human nature.

“Part of it is pushing people’s limits and getting to know who you are as a person,” Hogeveen said. “Are you going to tap out at the first signs of pressure, or are you going to push through that? I think that we really get to know ourselves through being pushed by another human being.”

The Decision After such a gruelling fight, where both determined athletes got pounded at various points, it’s all up to the judges. Denny and Westcott stand in the center of the ring, awaiting their fate. The cards come in. The judges score the fight 29-28, 28-29, and 28-28 — a rare draw. The boos echo across the crowd, who were as disappointed by the neutral outcome as the fighters.

But the adrenaline from watching the fight was still flowing. From cringing as Denny was being beaten in the corner, to wondering if he would choke Westcott out, it was easy to feel the palpable excitement in the air, within a young sport still trying to figure out where it fits in the world.

These fans hadn’t gotten the knockout they wanted. But there will be many more knockouts to come.

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Dobson delves into musical double life

Pervert

musicpreview

intercourse

Directed by Trevor Schmidt Written by Stephen Massicotte Starring Jocelyn Ahlf, Jason Chinn, James Hamilton, Mary Hulbert, and Doug Mertz Runs April 8–17 at 7:30 p.m., matinée performances Saturdays and Sundays at 2 p.m., no shows Mondays Varscona Theatre (10329–83 Avenue) $18 for students at Tix-on-the-Square, Saturday matinées are pay-what-you-can You’re reading this because it says “pervert,” and I’m trying to figure out how to say “pervert” in 100 words. But, here it is: this is a play that involves a lot of porn and a few perverts, although it’s not a pornographic production — I believe that would be a different kind of show. Set in a porn shop, there’s a kerfuffle between the night clerk who accuses one customer of stealing, while their significant others develop obsessions of their own. Written by Calgary playwright Stephen Massicotte (best known for Mary’s Wedding), the play is closing the season for Northern Light Theatre. Here’s to a degenerate close.

August Burns Red With Set Your Goals, Born of Osiris, and Texas In July Thursday, April 7 at 5 p.m.

The Starlite Room (10030–102 Street) $22 at Prime Box office and Blackbyrd It’s that restless time of year again: the end of classes is a few pen strokes away, the impending weight of finals is just around the corner, and we’re all impatient for summer to begin. Between handing in some final essays and stashing up on study caffeine, blowing off some steam is probably a good idea, and moshing it out at a metalcore concert is the way to do it.

Conveniently, August Burns Red, along with three names from the American metal scene, are coming to stir the pit on Thursday night withs screaming vocals, dueling guitar fretwork, and a merciless salvo of double-bass drumming. In the words of August Burns Red, lie down your guard and surrender — at least for the night.

Les Parfaits Inconnus April 8–17 at 7 p.m.

TransAlta Arts Barns (10330–84 Avenue) $15 for students at the Fringe Theatre Box Office From my experience, if it’s French, or even has a French person involved, or maybe just a French title, it’s probably good and will also make you more artsy. I can’t imagine how Les Parfaits Inconnus would be an exception from my indisputable logic, as they seem to have it all going.

They’re a troupe of six artists from Quebec that blend comedy sketches, circus acts, and rock ‘n’ roll into a whimsical and zany show. Decked out in suits with paper bags on their heads, the characters use bicycles, barrels, ladders, and balls in a series of crazy antics. It looks like a fun show, and in case you’re wondering, “les parfaits inconnus” means “the strangers” or “the total strangers.” Thank goodness for online dictionaries.

Dulguun Bayasgalan

The end of another Social Intercourse era

Fefe Dobson

With These Kids Wear Crowns Tuesday, April 19 at 7 p.m.

Edmonton Event Centre (West Edmonton Mall) $22.50 at ticketmaster.ca

Darcy Ropchan

Arts & Entertainment Staff

Look closely and you’ll see that most people who are caught up in a lie will betray themselves, giving away some physical or verbal cue that reveals their fib. But you can’t lie to Fefe Dobson and get away with it. No matter how convincing your story is, she’s seen it all. She can hear you stuttering, which is the premise for her first single by the same name on her latest album Joy. “ ‘Stuttering’ is based on true feelings,” Dobson says. “My biggest fear is somebody lying to me — because you just never know. No matter how hard you beg them to tell the truth, they might be telling the truth, but at the end of the day in your head, because of past deceit or lies, you just hear him stuttering, lying to you.”

The music video that accompanies the song features trashed hotel rooms, suspicious girlfriends, and amnesia, creating a puzzle just as intricate as the web of lies a cheating boyfriend might find himself in.

“I just wanted to make something different,” Dobson explains. “I didn’t just want to make a common video of me finding out my boyfriend is cheating. I kind of wanted it to be switched around — I wanted a twist. I wanted people to talk and to be confused.”

Besides hunting down imaginary cheating boyfriends, Dobson is busy these days with her first headlining tour, currently in the midst of its Canadian leg. She’s also been hard at work building her career back up after being dropped from her record label in 2006, forcing her back into the world of independent songwriting.

“It took about four years to get to this point,” Dobson says of the release of her new album. “It’s a long process, and [I was] trying to find the sound, hearing how music was changing and trying to not follow suit — stick to my guns and not abandon my rock ‘n’ roll sound, because rock ‘n’ roll was starting to die down in the mainstream world.”

Dobson admits that songwriting can be a frustrating process, but it’s also a way for her to release pent-up emotions, an exercise that encompasses the entire spectrum of her personality.

“I have my rock ‘n’ roll side — I love to rock out with guitars and drums and the grind. Then there’s the pop side of it — I love the songwriting and the love songs and the ballads.

“There’s two sides of me — really, it’s like a split personality,” Dobson continues. “I want to show that musically. I grew up in a home where my mom was playing Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, and Michael Jackson. And my sister, who was a few years older than me, was rebelling and playing Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, and Guns N Roses. So I was literally smack dab in the middle of that. Not to mention there was no classic rock in the house, so I learned about that when I was 16. […] I love all types of music and I don’t ever want to abandon that.”

After pouring her recent musical struggles into her new album, Dobson’s live shows are like her own rock ‘n’ roll therapy session.

“You can have an emotional day and you get to go on stage and release all that emotion, and that’s therapeutic in its own right,” she says. “You actually get to interact with the people you’ve written the song for. [...] You get to connect with the audience, and that’s a totally different thing in itself.”

But she promises that, for the audience, the important thing is to have a good time.

“Let’s rock ‘n’ roll, let’s have some fun, let’s get wild, and bring your friends. [...] We’re going to have fun.”

“I have my rock ‘n’ roll side — I love to rock out with guitars and drums and the grind. Then there’s the pop side of it — I love the songwriting and the love songs and the ballads. There’s two sides of me — really, it’s like a split personality. I want to show that musically.”

Fefe Dobson

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An assassin’s coming-of-age filmreview Hanna

Directed by Joe Wright Starring Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett Opens April 8

Matt Meuse

Arts & Entertainment Staff

The world is a fascinating and terrifying place — even if your father has raised you from birth in the remote wilderness of Finland, trained you to be the perfect assassin, and finally sent you at the tender age of 16 on your first mission.

This is the setup for Hanna, and it sounds like pretty promising fodder for a balls-to-the-wall action flick.

But despite what the film’s marketing department would have you believe, Hanna isn’t so much an action movie as a coming-of-age story that happens to have a few car chases and fight scenes.

At its core, Hanna is really about the title character’s first experiences in the real world. Having grown up in complete societal isolation, Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) knows about the world — in an I-read-it-onWikipedia sort of way — but she’s never really experienced it. The film ends up being less about her supposed

mission of murder and mayhem, and more about her discovery of society and the nature of the people in it — including herself.

The movie makes a number of recurring allusions to fairytales — to varying degrees of subtlety — giving it a somewhat surreal feel, an effect amplified in no small part by the sound design, cinematography, and editing. From the stories she reads as a child to the site of the climactic battle, Hanna’s fairytale naïveté is in many ways reflected in the film itself.

This can make Hanna feel a little schizophrenic at times, unable to decide whether it’s a shoot-’em-up thriller or a touching tale of self-discovery and lost innocence. The problem is that neither aspect can exist without the other: without the shooting, there would be nothing driving the plot, and without the self-discovery, it would just be another bland action movie.

However, Hanna’s soundtrack truly stands out. The film is scored

by British beat-masters the Chemical Brothers, whose ability to create music that is both brutal and beautiful perfectly complements the film’s dualistic nature. Unlike Daft Punk’s disappointingly generic Tron: Legacy soundtrack, Hanna’s score always has the Brothers’ distinct sound coursing through it, walking the line between big dirty beats and ethereal psychedelia to impressive effect. It’s a tour de force

albumreview Mother Mother Eureka Last Gang Records

Andrew jeffrey

Arts & Entertainment Staff

“Commonplace things seem to have great significance,” Ryan Guldemond sings on the first track of Mother Mother’s latest album Eureka. While it may be an odd introduction, the lyrics hint at what to expect from the rest of the album. The instrumentation isn’t quite as diverse as the group’s last record, the well-received O My Heart.

Instead, the individual parts of Eureka seem ordinary, but the way Mother Mother strings them together makes

for their strongest and most consistent work to date.

That isn’t to say that Eureka is any less off-beat or abstract than Mother Mother’s past albums — it’s simply more refined.

The band is able to sustain their energy throughout an entire album without sacrificing quality, as Eureka never ventures so far into the bizarre that it’s hard to listen to. Instead, the album is filled with catchy, danceable hooks fleshed out into boldly creative songs. There’s

on par with the Dust Brothers’ work in Fight Club.

While director Joe Wright certainly makes the most of his musical talent, the same can’t be said about his use of the actors. The Oscar-nominated Ronan carries the film admirably, but it’s not as if her co-stars are B-listers.

Cate Blanchett plays the deliciously evil Marissa Wiegler, the main villain of the story. The tone becomes excessively melodramatic whenever Marissa talks, her words oozing out in a sickly sweet Southern drawl, and Blanchett never gets enough screen time to really sink her teeth into the role.

And this is another overarching oddity of the film: nothing outside of Hanna’s immediate experience seems to be of any great importance. There are other characters, but they’re largely one-dimensional, and any hints at Marissa’s possible humanity are never fully explored. The film also ends with a number of plot points poorly explored and frustratingly unresolved — which, taken in context, may be by design, but that doesn’t make it less frustrating.

Torn between two worlds, Hanna has big ideas, but it never quite feels like it hits its stride. Nevertheless, it’s a different take on the ripped-fromthe-comic-books action movie, managing to be exciting, touching, and sometimes even funny — and when it comes to action movies, innovation is worth its weight in gold. even a slight progressive edge to their catchy pop music — a strange combination that somehow works.

Eureka’s hooks owe a debt to Mother Mother’s back-and-forth male/female vocal dynamics. Their lead single “The Stand” builds through a conversation of sorts between lead singer Guldemond and the combination of his sister Molly and Jasmin Parkin, to create a track you won’t be able to shake from your head.

Vocal hooks have always been Mother Mother’s strength, but on Eureka, they’re finally surrounded by consistently solid songwriting.

Guldemond pleads at the end of the album closer “Calm Me Down” that he just “wants to scream eureka” and with the creation of this album, he should do just that. This is Mother Mother’s breakthrough moment, undoubtedly leading to even greater success for this not-socommonplace band.

The Gateway

Arts & Entertainment

volume ci number 46

19

Personal details not always Classified in hip hop musicpreview Classified

With Kidz In The Hall Saturday, April 16 at 8 p.m.

The Starlite Room (10030–102 Street) $30.75 at ticketmaster.ca

Tyler Hein

Arts & Entertainment Writer

He may be masked behind the moniker Classified, but Canadian rapper and producer Luke Boyd isn’t afraid to lay his personal life bare in his music.

Even “See the Truth,” a song about struggling with temptation as a married man, isn’t off-limits.

“I didn’t know if I was going to put that [song] out or do it or anything,” Boyd admits. “And I went to my girl and was like, ‘How do you feel about this song?’ And at first she was like, ‘What the fuck?’ But at the end of the day, I think she gets where I’m coming from. That’s one of those songs that a lot people talk to me about because it hits people, and no one really wants to talk about that kind of stuff.”

“When you talk about that personal stuff, you’re sometimes second guessing like, ‘Should I talk about this?

Should I be doing it?’ — that’s the stuff people relate to.”

Boyd, recently nominated for Single of the Year for the second time at the Juno Awards for his song “Oh Canada,” has been telling us about his reality since 1995. Taking his first steps into the music industry at the age of 18, the recent release of Handshakes and Middle Fingers marks his 14th

album. It’s been a slow climb to get to where he is, but Boyd, now 33, admits that might not have been a bad thing.

“Everything came in kind of a slow process,” he says. “One year, I’d get my first album out, and the next year maybe I’d get my first real tour, and then my first video and first award. It came so slow over the years that now I can look back now and be like, ‘Shit, I’ve done a lot of stuff.’ It kind of hits me that way.”

“I love the culture [of hip hop] but I can’t stand the music sometimes.”

Luke Boyd Classified

In addition to his personal life, Boyd’s music speaks proudly of his home and heritage. He still lives in his hometown of Enfield, Nova Scotia, and some of his most well-known songs are hip-hop odes to his birthplace and country.

“I realized that if I was going to get anybody to pay attention to my music, I kind of need to step out of the box,” Boyd says. “No one is checking for a guy from the Maritimes for hip hop, and I knew that, so it was like, ‘Okay, I got to put my head down and go way harder than everybody else doing this because no one is looking way out here.’ […] You have to yell a bit louder to have people hear you, but when they do, they’ll be hearing you for a reason.”

Supplied: Dustin Rabin

Although hip hop may not be the first thing that crosses your mind when you think about the Maritimes, Boyd has a firm grasp on the nature of hip-hop culture. Unlike many rappers breaking into the mainstream, he understands the true message behind the music, and he’s determined to stay true to it.

“I love the culture [of hip hop], but I can’t stand the music sometimes,” he

explains. “I think the culture of hip hop is dope, but it depends what culture you’re looking at. If you’re looking at the mainstream culture, then no — that’s not what I’m into. But I still follow the culture; the whole B-Boys to DJs to MCs, which I think is always going to be around even if it’s always underground.”

“Most of the mainstream I don’t even consider hip hop,” he continues.

“I consider it dance music. Don’t get me wrong; there is good mainstream hip hop, but the majority of it is your techno beat with a few synths and generic shit like, ‘I’m having a good time tonight.’ Club music, that’s what it is.”

“It’s fine when you’re out at the club going dancing, but it’s never something I’ll put in my headphones and listen to when I’m sober.”

Sports

sports@gateway.ualberta.ca

thursday, april 7, 2011

Pandas Wrestlers, Ferguson claim all the marbles in the sixth annual Gateway Varsity Sports Awards The 2010/11 Golden Bears and Pandas season has come to a close. But, as the old saying goes, it’s not over until the fat lady sings. There’s still one more event left in this year’s varsity season. It’s something that the entire Gateway Sports staff has had marked on their calendar all year.

We’ve spent countless hours watching, analyzing, and writing about the 600 varsity athletes on campus. And after it was all finished, our panel of distinguished judges sat down to crunch the numbers and reflect on the defining moments of this year’s varsity season. Punches were thrown, names were called, tears were shed, and after about 40 minutes, all of our decisions were made. It’s time to acknowledge the U of A’s finest in our annual Gateway Varsity Sports Awards.

THE ESTEEMED JUDGING PANEL: Matt Hirji: He thought it was about the fame, the ladies, and the money. This year’s sports editor was sadly mistaken. After spending the last year dedicated to keeping tabs on the comings and goings of the Golden Bears and Pandas varsity teams, he realized that the job is about so much more than the glory. It’s about the nauseating stench inside the Bears hockey team’s dressing room.

Evan Daum: A varsity sports guru, Evan was last year’s sports editor. But he’s gone on to an illustrious reporting career beyond The Gateway. This handsome fellow is now a radio personality, cohosting CJSR’s Campus Sports Connection, while continuing to pitch in to the newspaper whenever the call comes in.

Justin Bell: Is there anything he can’t do? He’s this year’s managing editor at The Gateway, and has held together the uncouth savages that comprise the newspaper’s staff together while making the Pandas hockey team his beat.

Max Lutz: What other praises can we say about Max that haven’t been already been doled out by his loyal readership. This young buck has stepped up to be one of the best sports writers, and all in his first year on campus. Max will be an MVP for years to come.

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR: • Daniel Ferguson (Golden Bears Basketball) • Brett Colvin (Bears Soccer) • Marisa Haylett (Pandas Basketball) Justin: I am going to put forward Brett Colvin from men’s soccer. He anchored the forwards on team this year. It was eventually a kind of disappointing end to the season, but Colvin played with a broken foot for the last three weeks of the season and somehow managed to power through. I think overall, he was an outstanding presence on the team this season.

Matt: I’m going to vouch for Daniel Ferguson.

He came in for his first year on the team while working towards his graduate degree and was just unstoppable on the court this season. He was shooting from 30 feet out without even blinking an eye. He was lights out this year.

Not only that, but he provided the leadership that the Bears’ young roster needed this year. He really allowed them to have the success that they did this year. Along with Jordan Baker he was the core of that team.

Max: I was thinking Daniel Ferguson.

He seems like a good c hoice.

FERGUSON FOR THE WIN Bears Basketball guard claims the Christopher J O’leary Trophy for The Gateway’s Althete of the Year

He was the X-factor on the team this season. It’s tough to pick somebody on the Golden Bears hockey team, just because of their disappointing finish to the season.

Evan: I was going to say Derek Ryan for the Golden Bears hockey team, but given the fact that he plays with Chad Klassen, who’s the second-best player in the conference, it makes his job a little bit easier, when you’re able to be on a line like that. So my vote goes for Daniel Ferguson, for the fact that he led the conference in scoring for the majority of the season, before tailing off. He was a second team all-Canadian and I would say that the difference between this season and last, just in terms of how much better they were, was just Daniel Ferguson.

COACH OF THE YEAR: • Howie Draper (Pandas Hockey) • Owen Dawkins (Pandas Wrestling) • Rob Krepps (Bears and Pandas Curling) Justin: I have a bit of a controversial pick. I’m going with Rob Krepps from curling. He’s a national calibre coach. You can’t really credit him for the success that the Bears had this year because Brendan Bottcher’s team came in wholesale from the Alberta Juniors competition. But on the women’s side, they put together a great team and made it to nationals.

Max: I think we should be giving this to Owen Dawkins. He’s the only coach that led his team to a national championship. The women’s wrestling team had a young, inexperienced group of players, and Dawkins was able to bring them together to claim some unprecedented successes with the Pandas this year.

Hopefully he’ll be able to do it again next season.

Evan: Given the job that Howie Draper did this year with the Pandas hockey team, I think this one is an easy category.

Just the way he brought that team together into a truly cohesive unit, because they didn’t have the superstars this year, was astonishing. Also, being awarded Canada West Coach of the Year, I would say that this is the best coaching job that Howie Draper has done in his 13 years at the U of A. It’s tough to argue against Howie, with all the accolades that he has claimed this year. It’s easy to win with a team that is better than everyone else on paper, but it’s tough to be better than everybody else when your team is less skilled.

Matt: Especially with the parity in the league this year. With Hayley Wickenheiser coming into the fray, having to deal with the media storm around that, having to deal with her dominance on the ice, I think Draper was outstanding this year. Without a group of players able to light up the twine every single game, Howie Draper developed a team that had some great chemistry this year. I think that’s how they won. They could get people scoring on every single line. They weren’t the most skilled team in the Canada West, but they were the best team. The man coordinating it all played a huge part in that.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: • Marcus Johnstone (Bears Soccer) • Sally Hillier (Pandas Basketball) • Steven McPhee (Bears Track and Field) Matt: My pick for this one is Sally Hillier of Pandas Basketball. Coming onto campus as a young first-year player and being asked to do what she did this year after all the injuries that her teammates sustained in the first half of the season was an incredible thing. Not only that, but in quite a few games, she played every single minute and held her own in spite of the obvious fatigue. She did it all with a lot of class and poise that you wouldn’t expect in a first-year player.

Evan: My vote goes for Steven McPhee from the Track and Field team. He kind of flew under the radar and he’s one of the only athletes on campus that won rookie of the year at the CIS level. He won a gold in pentathlon at CIS nationals championships and finished first in long jump at Canada West. But again, it’s hard to go against anybody who wins the national award in the category.

Justin: I’m going to disagree with that one.

Marcus Johnstone was named Canada West and CIS rookie of the year. He was also named CIS first-team all-star for soccer. He scored eight goals and contributed three assists to lead all Canada West rookies in scoring. That says a lot on a team that had some really good returning players this year, including Brett Colvin.

TEAM OF THE YEAR: • Pandas Wrestling • Bears Volleyball • Pandas Basketball Max: The wrestling team, for sure. They are the only team that won a national championship this year, and it’s not like their players are all seniors either. They only had one athlete beyond their first year of eligibility. It was a young team going to nationals and they were the only varsity squad that brought home a banner.

Evan: It was a down year for U of A athletics teams. It was mediocre, which is unusual for the Bears and Pandas who normally excel in more than a few sports over the course of any given year. No disrespect to the wrestling team, but if any of the major sports had more success, wrestling doesn’t win this category. But they are the only team to win a national championship and to me, that’s good enough.

Matt: Bears volleyball had a very good season and the only reason that I’m reluctant to pick them is that they tailed off at the end. I would also nominate Bears hockey because they won the CanWest championship, but you can’t give it to them because they went to nationals and lost two straight games and didn’t perform well at the highest stage. It’s disappointing, but when you only have one team on campus that won a national championship, it makes our job a lot easier. But it seems like the storyline of every other team is that they play well over the regular season, but just couldn’t bring it together when it really mattered.

MOST OVERRATED ATHLETE: Evan: I hate this category. I don’t even know why we have it. Who rates them first of all? If they’re overrated, who’s rating them in the first place? We are the only people who talk about them in the first place. This is a shitty category, straight up.

Matt: We’ve had this category in all the other years previous and I don’t know why. I can’t think of anyone who’s overrated. Leah Copeland? But no, she played really well in the first half of the season; she just didn’t play so well in the second leg of the season. But you can’t find one athlete on any squad who came in to the season thinking that they were going to be a whirlwind athlete and just dropped of the face of the earth. C.G Morrison?

But he was content with taking a back seat and facilitating the success of the rest of the team.

The Gateway

Sports

volume ci number 46

Justin: Yeah, I suppose he didn’t birth a baby while doing a slam-dunk from center court. But that doesn’t mean he’s over-rated. I would really cut this category.

MOST IMPROVED ATHLETE: • Matt Jarvis (Bears Football) • Sally Hillier (Pandas Basketball) • Sarah Hilworth (Pandas Hockey) Justin: I actually have a couple picks for this category. Matt, I know that you wanted to pick Sally Hillier for Rookie of the Year, but I think you could give her the nod for most improved athlete. But she didn’t perform to the level of Sarah Hilworth. The Puck Pandas forward scored a bunch of goals this season and stepped up when other people on the team were having a hard time finding their scoring touch.

Evan: I’m going to go with Matt Jarvis from Bears football. He stepped in and took over the everydown Running Back position. For the majority of his career he didn’t get a lot of touches, but this season he was the main guy and he finished third in the conference in rushing with 83 yards per game. He went from a guy that you didn’t really expect a whole lot out of because he didn’t get a lot of opportunities to a guy that was really important for the team.

Matt: Matt Jarvis had an outstanding end to the season. There was that playoff-clinching game against Manitoba where he ran for 205 yards with two touchdowns. I don’t think people expected big things out of them. He was relatively consistent and any time you finish in the top half of the conference in running, you are doing a pretty good job.

MOST IMPROVED TEAM: • Bears Basketball • Pandas Wresting • Pandas Soccer Evan: Bears basketball took a big step forward this year. They hosted a playoff date and ended up claiming a berth in the CanWest Final Four.

This was the very beginning of what is going to be a very good team next year. The seeds were sown this season. They took a big step from the season prior and they’re going to take another giant leap forward next year.

Matt: The Bears made a leap this season that a lot of people were expecting. It was expected that they would be better and that they would be a playoff team again, but I don’t know how many people were projecting them to finish in a position where they would be able to host a home playoff date. When you compare these last two seasons, it’s pretty clear that they improved dramatically from the previous year.

Max: While it was disappointing how they finished in the final four tournament, that can largely be accounted for because of the experience of their opponents. UBC had a large

contingent of veteran players. But the end of their season is no indication of how good of a squad that they actually were this season.

“HOLY SHIT!” MOMENT OF THE YEAR: • Bears football comes from behind to beat Saskatchewan in the CIS playoffs • Bears Hockey triumphs over Dinos in CanWest Finals • Todd Bergen-Henengouwen’s last second shot to beat UBC Matt: I think we’re all going to agree on this one.

Evan: Yeah. Bears football against Saskatchewan for sure. That was probably the most bizarre game that has ever happened in Canada West football playoffs. When the Bears come back and score 28 unanswered points in Saskatoon — the toughest place to play in Canada West by far — to shock the Huskies. The Bears beat a team that was so much better than them. It is actually hard to put into words how much better the Huskies were on paper than the Bears. When I looked at the score, I think I might have said, ‘ Holy shit! They came back to score 28 points and won the game?’

Matt: None of us were actually at the game, because it was in Saskatoon. But watching the playby-play on the internet when they scored a last minute field goal to clinch the game was amazing.

We should also note that it was Jerry Friesen’s last victory as head coach of the Golden Bears football team. What a way to finish your career.

21

backwards for the team. You could see their frustration every single game.

Evan: Bears volleyball at Canada West nationals was just as bad. You went in expecting them to at least qualify for the final and when they fell flat, it was shocking. You would never expect that from a Terry Danyluk-coached team. It was disappointing and it came out of the blue.

Justin: I’m going to go way back to the end of November when the Pandas hockey team was playing against the Manitoba Bisons in a conference series. The game is tied; Melody Howard has a break with 10 seconds left when one of the Bisons’ players throws her stick. That’s something that I do when I’m playing on the rink out behind Lister with my buddies.

Evan: If you do that in pond hockey, people are going to jersey you and start feeding you uppercuts.

Max: That was bush league. It was a literal WTF moment for me. What would go through your mind as a CIS hockey player to throw your stick?

“WTF?” MOMENT OF THE YEAR: • Manitoba Bisons’ player throws their stick to distract Melody Howard during a breakaway • Pandas Field Hockey 2010/11 season • Dinos fire a puck into the Bears bench during Canada West Finals.

Matt: The entire Pandas Field Hockey season. They went 1–11 after a silver medal at CIS nationals last year. It was a huge step

Photo credits: Dan McKechnie, Armand Ludick, Peter Holmes, Aaron Yeo

22

Comics

single dad banana by Benjamin Ripley

awesome sauce by Benjamin Nay

id & ego by Lauren Alston

metaleeto by Ross Vincent

thursday, april 7, 2011

www.thegatewayonline.ca

The Gateway

Comics & Classifieds

volume ci number 46

23

better off dead (double feature) by Ben Leung

Classifieds To place a classified ad, please go to www.gatewayclassifieds.ca

Employment - Part Time Door to door marketing positions available; great money, Flexible schedule: $15/hr + $15 bonus per lead. Color Shift Painting: 780-716-0985.

AccuCare Canada Inc. Edmonton office is looking for a Clinical Representative who is organized, self-motivated, has a high level of professionalism, can work independently and has mature and professional communication skills. Duties include, but not limited to, delivery of information to medical and non-medical facilities, facilitating wholesale accounts, liaison with retirement care facilities, and

delivery of clinic information luncheons.

Must have own vehicle. 10-15 hrs/wk for the term which runs 1 May – 31 Aug 2011.

Send resumes to curtis@accucarecanada. com.

Employment - full Time Great summer company needs summer season projects. $15/hr

job. Local painting full time painters for - interior and exterior starting. Will provide

all training. Call Color Shift Painting for details: 780-716-0985.

and own transportation. gogreenlandscaping@gmail.com

Commercial landscaping company looking to hire full time landscapers and lawn maintenance workers. $13-$17/hour.

Please email landscapejob@hotmail.ca

Room in 5 bedroom house to sublet

Local Landscaping Company looking for hardworking enthusiastic individuals to perform various landscape tasks.

Must have valid drivers license

Email

for rent for the summer. $550 a month, utilities and cable included. Close to the U of A. One of three rooms available with the option to lease next year. Call 306-741-9831 or e-mail ngross@ualberta.ca for more info/pics.

24

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