April 2014 by The Vital Voice Magazine

April 2014

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Publisher/Editor in Chief

Darin Slyman

dsly@thevitalvoice.com

Associate Publisher/Director of Marketing Jimmy Lesch jimmy@thevitalvoice.com

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Events Manager Staci Stift staci@thevitalvoice.com

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Staff Photographer Mikey Berner mikey@thevitalvoice.com

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Staff Writer Denny patterson denny@thevitalvoice.com

Contributors

Photography: Mikey Berner, Timothy Gee, Jonathan Pfeifer, Andrew Eccles,

Barmore Photography, Holly Barrett Joem C. Bayawa, James Michael Avance: JMA Photo, Ryan Jacob Wood and GLSEN Writing: Chris Clark, Brent Peterson, Andrea Piamonte, Hanna Botney, Mikey Berner and Denny Patterson Design: Andrea Piamonte, Julianna Bonk and Jorge El-Azar

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April 2014

April 2014 | Volume 15 | Issue 4

Table of

Contents

4. advertisers at a glance 7. publisher’s letter 10. lez be real — Cori garrison

14. the addams family: Ryan Jacob wood

17. qfest v.7 20. dinner, cocktails & performance in STL

22. dinner, cocktails & performance in KC

30. day of silence 32. steve grand 34. antonio douthit-Boyd 37. everything wrong with olympics 2014 41. mikey’s morsels — jazzed up spring rolls

42. STL playdates 44. KC playdates 46. scene in StL 48. scene in Kc Stay Connected with us

26. On the

Cover

Comedian Chelsea Handler spills about touring, being an LGBT ally and having no filter. Cover Photography Courtesy of NBC Universal.

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April 2014

publisher’s Letter

Spring Awakenings Happy Spring y’all! As we all thaw from winter’s freeze, I find it to be a perfect time to jump headfirst into an awakening of our Entertainment Issue. Comedy, music, art, dance and culture are all things fabulous this month. We start out with E!’s late night funny girl Chelsea Handler, who’s ready to take Missouri by storm. With the success of her new book Uganda Be Kidding Me, she’s taking the show on the road to both St. Louis and Kansas City. She’s also spilling the dirt on celebrities and her adoration for the LGBT community. To really heat things up, check out the super sexy Steve Grand. He started out as an Internet star and after a short period, he’s booking LGBT festivals and magazine interviews left and right. We at Vital VOICE were pleased to meet him last year along his rise to stardom and are proud to showcase his story this year. Who likes a good flick? Are you ready? It’s that time again for QFest! Cinema St. Louis is ready to present its seventh installment of the time-honored tradition of LGBT Films. Check out Chris Clark’s synopsis for this year’s QFest. There is for surely a film for everyone. Finally, this nicer weather is making me want to dance. What better way to capture that than an exclusive interview with Antonio Douthit-Boyd with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company out of New York? His story from the streets of northern St. Louis to stages across the globe is sure to inspire and get your heart pumping.

Darin Slyman Publisher/CEO

thevitalVOICE.com

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April 2014

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New

Beginnings

for Lesbian Romance

Cori Garrison writes an authentic love story Written by Hanna Photography by

April 2014

Botney Jonathan Pfeifer

Books

I will admit that I often read romance novels. I love getting lost in a good love story. Unfortunately, I often find myself reading heterosexual romance stories and it makes it so much harder to personally relate. Obviously, there are parts of the intimate scenes that I skip over all together. No thank you, I do not ever wish to read the word “shaft.” In all these years, I have yet to find lesbian romance novels that I can get into. They’re almost impossible to find and when you do find some, it is hit or miss. But then I discovered Cori Garrison. Garrison, who currently lives in St. Louis, wrote a self-published book titled New Beginnings. It is not a full novel as this her first attempt at breaking into the world of self-published books. I was hooked from the first moment and I was disappointed to reach the end, but Garrison promises that this is the first in a series. She has begun working on the second installment and I am impatiently awaiting the arrival. This first book is the story of Sam, who loses her husband in an accident and the changes that occur after this tragedy. She is given a chance to start over and live life more authentically. The story also features Sam’s older sister, Shawn, who is an out lesbian. Garrison plans on featuring Shawn and her storyline more in the coming books. Both main characters are real and perfectly flawed, making them easy to relate to. I think most LGBT women can find pieces of the characters and their relationships that resonate with them. Of course, what would a romance novel be without some steamy intimate scenes? Garrison does not disappoint. All of her writing, especially these scenes, is raw and real. As a fan of the genre and someone who wishes there are more lesbian romance novels, I was curious how one even begins writing such a story. Garrison got a taste for writing in the 90s when she wrote on short story romance boards in her mid-20s. At the time, she wrote heterosexual romance. It was not until she met her first girlfriend that she began writing lesbian romance stories. As many of us can agree, romance stories

are quite likely to be a strikeout. “I became interested in [writing romance stories] when everything I read seemed so cheesy and so far from reality,” Garrison says. “I thought I certainly could do better than that.” After reading New Beginnings, I would have to agree. She does better than many of the stories I have read. The fact that Garrison finds time to write at all baffles me. She has a full time job as well as a partner and 2-year-old son. But she makes time to write because she loves it. She hopes to bring something to the lacking lesbian romance genre. “My experience with the genre has been pretty disappointing,” Garrison reveals. “Similar to what we find in lesbian movies, there are few lesbian romance novels and fewer quality ones. I feel that most of them are so unrealistic and poorly written, or they focus so much on the sex and not enough on the romance that it leaves you feeling like you wasted your time. “Sex certainly has a place in any romance but the reality of any true romance is love, not just sex,” she continues. “There are good lesbian romance writers out there, but they are not easy to find.” Do not misinterpret, you will still find intimate scenes in Garrison’s stories. “Erotic scenes are certainly a must,” she says. “I don’t like to just jump right into a sex scene, I like to build to it, almost like foreplay.”

Lez BE REAL heterosexual sex scene — I will never truly be able to live in that moment and draw on personal experience to write it. I just don’t have those feelings, those physical reactions and those emotional responses to be able to authentically put it into words.” The same is true about understanding the love between two women. There are aspects of a lesbian relationship that are unique to women. Garrison perfectly captures both the romance and the intimacy in her story. Garrison lives with her partner, their son, and their plethora of animals (three dogs and one cat). The couple is currently waiting to see if they are chosen to adopt a second son. When she isn’t working or writing, you can find Garrison and her family spending time with their best friends, Summer and Lori Osborne, supporting local LGBT musicians. V

New Beginnings can be purchased through many eBook platforms such as Kindle, Nook and iTunes.

Garrison’s attitude toward the authenticity of her story only further emphasizes the importance of having a lesbian writing lesbian romance. These stories should be about, for, and by lesbians. She explains: “No one knows the intimacies of lesbian sex like a lesbian does, right? We know and understand the feelings that happen in those moments. I find intimate scenes written by a non-lesbian to feel so much like a heterosexual scene that it turns me off. It would be like me trying to write a

Erotic scenes are certainly a must,” I don’t like to just jump right into a sex scene, I like to build to it, almost like foreplay. thevitalVOICE.com

April 2014

theatre

“You

”

Rang? St. Louisian Ryan Jacob Wood goes from stud to scary in The Addams Family Brent Peterson Photography by James Michael Avance, JMA Photo Editing and Makeup by Ryan Jacob Wood Written by

“You rang?” is one of the most iconic twoword phrases of the last century. The line was actually ad-libbed by Ted Cassidy, who played Lurch in the 1960s sitcom The Addams Family. Charles Addams’ famous New Yorker sketches of the same name have spawned numerous spinoffs, including feature films, television shows and cartoon series. Now, we get to enjoy the Addams Family in another way — as a musical. We all know that the gays love a good musical, and it’s about time this ghoulish bunch got the treatment. Originally starring Nathan Lane as Gomez and Bebe Neuwirth as Morticia, the show opened on Broadway in April 2010. The show’s new touring cast includes St. Louis native Ryan Jacob Wood in the role of the tall, somber butler, Lurch. We sat down with Ryan and discussed Grammys fashion, rocking high-heeled shoes, and turning himself from man to monster in the show.

time you were here, it was Q Last for our wedding issue where you told us about your engagement. How’s everything going with that? Is there a date planned?

I’m too busy to set a date or anything and so is Bary [Klevene, my fiancé], so there are no dates. We’re thinking sometime in spring or late summer 2015. How long have you been with The Q Addams Family cast?

I’ve been with this cast since December [2013], but I’ve been with this company since December 2012; that’s when I started Spamalot with them. you’re traveling all the time, Q Since what do you do to maintain your relationship?

We text as much as we can and we FaceTime. We briefly talk on the phone every day. Not a lot because he hates the phone. [Laughs] I like to FaceTime so I can see my dog too! It’s hard for us, but we make it work. thevitalVOICE.com

whole head. Then I put my tupee on and it sticks to like the spikies of my hair, like Velcro.

Q What goes into playing Lurch?

Lurch sees and hears everything that happens in the Addams family house, so he’s always there and noticing everything. There’s always his presence. He’s probably not the best butler in the world, but he’s a part of the family. Playing him is a lot of being in the physicality of him. I’m very animated, I love to move and I love to dance. Lurch is the opposite, so it’s a big challenge for me to not move and not do anything. It’s a challenge, but sometimes it’s really easy too. The other cast is sweating through these dance numbers and Lurch is just standing there.

Q Lurch is known for being really tall.

been with this company Q You’ve since 2012. What was your musical career like before that?

I did a show in Vegas for a while. I’ve also worked with Norwegian Cruise Lines for the last nine years. I’ve been on and off ships since I graduated from school, really. Right now, I’m trying to get back to the roots of what I wanted to do after school, which was musical theatre. you score this role as Q How’d Lurch in The Addams Family?

Well, last year, my group for Spamalot was in rehearsals the same time this group for Addams Family was. I told the producers that whenever I was done with Spamalot, I wanted to do Addams Family. They told me to focus on one show at a time, but I told them to keep me in mind and that I wanted the Lurch spot. When the show came back from its tour in Asia, the guy that played Lurch eventually decided he didn’t want to do it anymore. I kept my fingers in the pot. They also personally reached out to me and told me to go online and give them all my info. I made a video of me singing the songs and doing the scenes. They gave me critiques and then eventually they gave me the role. you had your eyes set on Q So Lurch from the beginning?

It’s a perfect part for my type. I knew that going into Spamalot. The producers are great, so I was excited to try and make two shows out of this.

Q What is that makeup process like

to turn you from Ryan to a literal creature like Lurch?

It takes about 45 minutes every day. When I first got there, they gave me the makeup plot, like a step-by-step book of what they wanted, so I went and did it. They’d look at me and be like, “We have to fix this, and do this.” But now since I’ve been doing it forever, I just do it and someone will look at me, and then approve it. The actual process is just like making yourself look as ugly as you possibly can. Accentuate every crease and dark circle that you already have and just make it extreme. It’s different. Lurch is not so attractive. [Laughs] We usually have an hour and a half before each show. It takes me the entire time to get ready. By the time I’m done, it’s like, “Places everyone!”

Q That Lurch wig is pretty gross. The hair! It’s the worst! I normally have hair, but I have to shave my head for this show. It’s the worst wig. It’s fallen off during the show! [Laughs] My head is shaved and I put makeup over my

How tall are you and how does that compare to the rest of the cast?

I’m 6’4.” I’m sure everybody that has played Lurch has had lifted shoes. It’s basically like wearing six-inch heels. It’s not like wearing a six-inch platform where your foot is flat. It’s like a lady’s heel, so you’re on your toes the whole time. The shoe looks normal, so you can’t tell. I’d be fierce in heels if I had to do it! [Laughs] The shoes are almost six inches, so they make me around 6’10.” The next tallest person in the show is about 6’3” and he’s my understudy.

Q We talked about Lurch being a

man of few words. Does that translate into the show or do you have numbers where you sing?

In the movies and the original TV series, I think he only said, “You rang?” And I don’t say that ever in the show. The legendary line is Q Really? absent from the show?

Yeah, it’s not part of it at all. When they created the show, they went back to the original sketches that Charles Addams did. They wanted to create something with the same family and same characters, but something completely new for the stage. This Lurch communicates with the family in groans and grunts. They’re audible things, but no actual words. And the family understands him. They talk to him and

Q Addams Family movies or TV

reference him like, “We were talking,” or, “We had a conversation.” For the audience, you never hear him speak aside from groans.

series?

Well, I’ve watched all the movies and some of the series, but honestly… I was never a huge fan of The Addams Family. I like it now because of what we’re doing and the characters, but I was never really into it before now. I’d say the original series is more spot on, since they came first and the movies were based off of those.

The surprise for the show is at the end. Lurch has a little reveal. He has his moment. It comes unexpectedly when the show is concluding.

Q Would you say that this Lurch

— a more silent Lurch — is more true to the original Lurch from the sketches?

Yes, I think the silent Lurch brings it back to how it was originally made.

Who would be your “perfect cast” of celebrities to play the Addams Family?

Oh man… I’m so bad with celebrities.

It’d almost be more fun to choose friends who should play the character, but they would kill me! [Laughs] It’s really hard to choose because The Addams Family characters are so weird. Everything is backwards. Morticia loves flowers that are dead, or that are just stems. Pugsly loves a horror story before bed. What 12-year-old does that? They know that they’re not normal, but it’s their normal.

Q Where can we see the show? We are going to be in St. Charles at the Scheidegger Center for the Arts. We’ll be there Sunday, April 6 at 8 p.m. I hope that everyone has a chance to see it in its full form. V

Vital VOICE’s

Addams Family

Celeb Cast Not everyone on the list may be a great singer, but hey–neither was Russell Crowe, and he landed a leading role on Les Mis!

Gomez Matthew Broderick Matthew’s got that whole “pale dude” vibe going, plus he was Nathan Lane’s castmate in The Producers and Lane was the original Broadway Gomez. Throw a mustache on him, slick the hair back and you’re golden.

lurch

morticia

Jason Segel

Angelina Jolie Angelina and Morticia’s body shapes are almost identical. With her upcoming portrayal of Maleficent, she’s really rocking the “pale skin, red lipstick” style. Add a black dress and dead roses to complete the look.

As Ryan said in the interview, almost every Lurch needs to wear lifted shoes. So Jason’s 6’4” frame doesn’t hurt, and he could pull off some good Lurch make up. We know him for his comedy, so playing the silent giant would be quite a departure for him.

Granny Lindsay Lohan We’ve seen the wonders of make up transform Ryan into Lurch, but Lindsay Lohan is at a point in her life where she probably wouldn’t need that much makeup to turn her into Granny Addams. Girl’s looking ROUGH. Granny’s character is known for her cynical sense of humor and her fascination with the occult and I’m sure Lindsay’s life experiences have made her plenty cynical. Plus, they say all that dabbling with black magic really wears on a person, and it looks like Lindsay has been “dabbling” for about 20 years.

wednesday Chloë Moretz Chloe has been kicking ass since she was little. She played a vampire in Let Me In and Hit Girl in Kick-Ass and its sequel. But it was her portrayal of tortured teen in Carrie that really showcased exactly how scary she can be. She’d be a perfect Wednesday.

Pugsly

Uncle fester

Nolan Gould

Dean Norris

Nolan kills it as Luke on Modern Family. He’s constantly getting into shenanigans, and still retains that kind of innocence. He also likes gross stuff. Cut his hair, dye it blond and give him black shorts and a black and white striped shirt. Voila!

Known for his role of Hank on AMC’s Breaking Bad, Dean already has the Fester look going. He’s short, bald and maybe a little crazy, but we love him. He played a devoted family man, which is exactly what Uncle Fester is.

thevitalVOICE.com

t i e v e i l e B t ’ n a C . . e r e h t h g i R

Judy was right. From world-class arts and entertainment to the coolest clubs in the Midwest, St. Louis is the place to meet. After all, our city is the one The Advocate called “…the LGBT beacon of the Midwest.” Check out our impressive packages at explorestlouis.com/LGBT

CHANICAL 16

April 2014

INDICATE APPROVAL BY INITIALING B

film Written by

Chris Clark

The seventh edition of QFest St. Louis will be coming to you at the end of this month from April 27 through May 1 at the Tivoli Theatre in the University City Loop. This year’s program will feature a dozen feature length documentaries and narrative features, plus a smattering of short subjects. In addition to the many talented U.S. filmmakers represented, there will also be films from Sweden, Switzerland, France, Mexico and Germany. Queer voices of the world unite! Here’s the skinny on St. Louis’ very own big, fat, gay film festival. nar = narrative doc = documentary

Doc

Audre Lorde: The Berlin Years

The case against 8

to be takei

Sunday, April 27 1 p.m. (81 mins.)

Sunday, april 27 3:30 p.m. ( 109 Mins.)

Germany/U.S. 2012

U.s. 2014

nar

Doc

Valencia: The movie/s

mr. Angel

THE DOG

Tuesday, April 29 7 p.m. (105 mins.)

Tuesday, April 29 9:30 p.m. (68 mins.)

wednesday, april 30 7 p.m. (100 mins.)

u.s. 2013

U.s. 2013

Sunday, April 27 6:30 p.m. (90 mins.) u.s. 2014

Doc

u.s. 2013

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QFest uses the art of contemporary gay cinema to spotlight the lives of LGBT people. It features an eclectic slate of contemporary LGBT-themed feature films, documentaries and shorts. All screenings are at the Tivoli Theatre (6350 Delmar). Individual tickets are $12 General Admission, $10 for students and Cinema St. Louis members with valid and current Photo IDs.

nar

Doc

The Circle (Der kreis)

kidnapped for christ

sunday, april 27 8:30 p.m. (100 mins.)

monday, april 28 7 p.m. (85 mins.)

switzerland 2014

U.s. 2014

nar

stranger by the lake whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s afraid of

nar

getting go:

the go doc project monday, april 28 9:15 p.m. (91 mins.) u.s. 2013

nar

(Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;inconnu du lac)

vagina wolf?

hot guys with guns

wednesday, april 30 9:15 p.m. (100 mins.)

thursday, may 1 7 p.m. (83 mins.)

thursday, may 1 9 p.m. (105 mins)

france 2013

u.s. 2013

thevitalVOICE.com

Gay Old Time at the

Theatre

Written by Hanna

Botney

The gays certainly love going to the theater. There is something special about getting dressed up and seeing a live performance. You can make an entire evening out of it with dinner beforehand and cocktails afterward. The trouble is that, since there are so many options to choose from, it can be difficult to decide. We have selected the best locations surrounding all of the major theaters in Kansas City and St. Louis. So put on your “Sunday best,” grab your friends and enjoy an evening of entertainment.

Spencer Theatre 01

osteria ii centro

grand street café Grand Street Café has several menus that include American dishes prepared by an award-winning executive chef. The restaurant itself has been winning various awards since 1997. You can find just about anything you want on their menu.

Osteria Il Centro boasts an impressive, award-winning wine list and even a wine club. Their food is traditional Italian, prepared with the freshest ingredients. This includes a mouth-watering dessert list.

12 mins.

Fred P. ott’s bar & grill Fred P. Ott’s Bar & Grill calls itself “Kansas City’s Original Bar and Grill.” They offer outstanding burgers, sandwiches, and salads in a pub atmosphere. They have your traditional bar munchies and a large list of alcoholic beverages.

15 mins. 20

April 2014

15 mins. 04

Seasons 52 Seasons 52 has a menu that shifts with the season, based on what is available and fresh. Their most popular dishes include Cedar Plank Roasted Salmon, Caramelized Sea Scallops, and Mesquite-Grilled Garlic Shrimp and Saffron Risotto.

18 mins.

Theatre

copaken stage 05

gordon biersch restaurant

12 baltimore

Gordon Biersch Restaurant and Brewery is known for their legendary garlic fries and burgers, so big and delicious you will need a fork and knife to eat them. But you can find just about anything on their diverse menu including seafood, sandwiches, steak, pasta, and much more. Their beer is crafted to go with any menu item.

1 min. 07

anthony’s restaurant and lounge

12 Baltimore has great drink specials and live music on the weekends. The restaurant has a modern feel with a great ambiance. They have a little bit of everything and a wide-range of tasty appetizers. Enjoy a great meal and a walk through historic Hotel Phillips.

6 mins. 08

los corrals Los Corrals is “a little bit of Old Mexico in Downtown Kansas City.” Their food is prepared fresh daily, including their homemade tortilla chips. They have great platter deals on the weekends so you can get something to share with the table at a great price. Margaritas are the perfect before show beverage.

Anthony’s Restaurant and Lounge serves awardwinning traditional Italian and American dishes. Every sauce and dressing is made fresh each morning with the freshest of ingredients. It’s family owned and operated for the last 30 years.

11 mins.

16 mins.

Quality Hill Playhouse 09

axois brasserie

blue nile Blue Nile is Kansas City’s oldest Ethiopian restaurant. For an additional taste of Ethiopian culture, you can participate in a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony where the staff roasts, grinds and brews fresh coffee.The restaurant also offers classes in their kitchen on how to prepare traditional dishes.

Axois Brasserie is a relaxed, upscale French restaurant. Their menu rotates depending on what is in season locally. This restaurant is perfect for a quick light bite before a show or a multi-course meal.

6 mins. 11

nara japanese robata

12 mins.

Nara Japanese Robata is not your typical Japanese restaurant, but rather a hybrid of substance and style. KC Magazine voted Nara “Best Sushi.” They even offer sushi rolling classes and “Body Sushi” every first Friday of the month. Yes, a woman covered in sushi.

15 mins.

the brick End your evening at The Brick. They have live music on most nights and a full bar. Their kitchen is open until 11 p.m. so you may be able to get some of their bar munchies after the show.

20 mins. thevitalVOICE.com

the muny 01

Gay Old

central west end drunken fish The Central West End location of Drunken Fish is a great sushi option for before the show, as well as an outstanding location for drinks afterwards. It was even voted the Best Sushi in St. Louis by St. Louis PostDispatch.

Time at the

Theatre continued

6 mins.

herbie’s vintage 72

the wild flower The Wild Flower’s motto is “farm to fork.” They are all local and organic whenever it is possible. They have steaks, a “catch of the day” and as pasta. The selection of both white and red wine goes on for several pages, making this an excellent option for a glass of wine.

Herbie’s Vintage 72 has a gluten-free as well as a vegetarian menu, providing options for all different taste buds. They have many appetizers and flatbreads, as well as steak and seafood. They have some great wines by the glass for a delicious pre-show beverage.

5 mins.

8 mins.

the fabulous fox theatre 04

city diner at the fox

Vito’s sicilian pizzeria & ristorante Vito’s Original Sicilian Ristorante & Pizzeria is a phenomenal Italian restaurant that boasts about tasty upscale pasta dishes as well as a large array of pizza options or build your own! They also have a great wine selection to expertly pair with your meal.

If you are looking for convenience, then City Diner at the Fox is definitely your best bet. Their menu has an obvious diner feel and the restaurant itself is very laid back. They have everything from breakfast to burgers to steak. It is reasonably priced so if you are looking for something easy and more casual, try City Diner.

4 mins.

1 min. 06

triumph grill

07 Triumph Grill has an extensive list of astounding appetizers, which is perfect if you just want a light meal before your show. All of their entrees have a slight southern feel to them that’ll satsify your need for some good down-home food.

5 mins. 22

April 2014

pappy’s smokehouse Pappy’s Smokehouse is great if you need a meal filled with some protein. They have everything from ribs, to pulled pork sandwiches, to beef brisket, to combination platters featuring several options. Sometimes you just need a meat-filled meal and Pappy’s is a great choice.

11 mins.

Theatre

Peabody opera house 08

wasabi

lombardo’s trattoria

Wasabi is a great sushi bar with locations all over St. Louis, one of them on Washington Avenue, a walk from the Opera House. They also have some wines and sake options for a pre-show cocktail.

Lombardo’s Trattoria has some of the best Italian in St. Louis. They are known for their toasted ravioli. They also have a few steak and chicken options if pasta is not your flavor.

11 mins.

8 mins. 10

The Dubliner

the schlafly tap room The Schlafly Tap Room is a great way to end the evening. They have yearround beers as well as their famous seasonal beers. On certain nights they have live music and special events. The Tap Room is on Locust and well worth the walk.

The Dubliner is an authentic taste of Dublin, Ireland. They have steaks, sandwiches, burgers and so much more, all with an Irish flair. Of course, their list of alcoholic beverages is extensive. You can get some of the best cocktails around.

14 mins.

6 mins.

the repertory theatre of st. louis 12

llwelyn’s pub

13 Llywelyn’s Pub is an Irish pub with Celtic-inspired dishes that range from flatbreads to burgers. Their list of beer and whiskey is quite extensive. You may be lucky enough to catch some live music from local and regional artists while you are there enjoying your libations.

Cyrano’s is most famous for their desserts, but they also have an eclectic menu. They have appetizers, salads, sandwiches and steaks. You have to get a famous dessert. They were voted “Favorite Desserts” in both the Riverfront Times and Sauce Magazine.

4 mins. 14

big sky café

7 mins. 15

Big Sky Café prides itself on using local options for their dishes. Their menu is perfectly divided into individual and sharing dishes, making it easy if you’re with a group. They have all different kinds of options, but many have a Cajun inspiration.

8 mins.

cyrano’s

highway 61 roadhouse & kitchen Highway 61 Roadhouse & Kitchen features some classic Southern Cajun food. Their menu is impressive with seemingly hundreds of options. They have live music every Friday and Saturday night and a full bar. It is a great option for before or after the play.

8 mins. thevitalVOICE.com

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April 2014

comedy

a strong shot of the truth with

E!’s Comedian spills about touring, being an LGBT ally and having absolutely no filter

Andrea Piamonte Photography Courtesy of NBC Universal Written by

Chelsea’s that snarky straight girl we all know and love. Why? Because the superstar comedian really doesn’t give a f*ck what people think of her. She’s slammed down CNN’s Piers Morgan for his poor interview skills, taken over Huffington Post’s twitter for the Oscars and shrugged off the backlash and gives the straight talk about Hollywood (she’s looking at you Angelina). This quick-witted Jersey girl is outspoken and outrageous and you’ve got to offer quite a bit of respect to that. “People are mad at me all the time. If I was worried about that then I would be spending a lot of time online. I’d rather be a little more productive,” says Chelsea during an interview with Good Morning America’s George Stephanopoulo. The vodka-loving Chelsea definitely has the credentials to back up her talk. She’s taken Hollywood over with her ongoing national “Uganda Be Kidding Me Live” tour, authoring four bestselling books, starring on E!’s late-night comedy talk show (Chelsea Lately) and producing the unfiltered talk show Hello Ross!

Let’s get real. She’s kicking ass on all fronts. But when it comes to the LGBT community, she’s a huge supporter and has even rocked a HRC’s Love Conquers Hate t-shirt on Chelsea Lately. She continually lends her high profile forum to support the various causes the LGBT community fights for. Her stand-up tour, based off the recently debuted Uganda Be Kidding Me, tells the titillating tales from her travels in South Africa. Chelsea’s chronicles include her roommate and lesbian lawyer named Shelly, her cousin Molly, her oldest friend Hannah and the executive producer of her TV show, Sue. With the injury prone Chelsea along for the ride, this group surely has some stories to tell. Get ready Missouri, Chelsea is coming to recount these anecdotes. Hurricane Handler is set to hit St. Louis on April 12 at Scottrade Center and Kansas City on May 3 at the Starlight Theatre. Vital VOICE got the pleasure to speak with Chelsea more on her massive tour, her love for the gays and her lack of filter.

What made you decide to be a comedian in the first place?

You like to push the envelope a little bit, but do you think outing somebody would be too far?

I just didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to be an actress because I didn’t want to say anybody else’s lines. I wanted to give my own opinion and I couldn’t find any forum to do that in, other than being in stand-up comedy, so it was kind of last-stop-charlie. I was like, “Oh, I’m loud. I’m obnoxious. I should get on a stage and start talking.”

So, what can the audience expect from your tour this year?

It’s a lot of dancing, singing and nudity. I will be telling a lot of stories, hopefully that I haven’t told before. The idea is to do new material and my material from the book. It’s going to be a lot of my traveling stories because I didn’t fit a lot of them in the book — there’s just too many. When I go on vacation, I usually bring a gaggle of girls with me. We’re just really obnoxious American assholes. We kind of make our country look really bad when we leave the country because we’re very badly behaved. They are all true stories. They can expect everything they’ve gotten before. It’s a stand-up tour, so the idea is to be funny.

Are there any pre-show rituals (weird or not) you do?

I just have a strong drink, that’s all I need.

And what is the strong drink?

It’s my vodka with like a splash… like a squirt of lemon in it. That’s what I drink during the show and before the show and usually after the show.

The name Uganda Be Kidding Me is a little random. What inspired that?

Well, the book starts with my three chapters in Africa. My five girlfriends and I went on a safari in Botswana. We went to South Africa and we went to four safaris. And so, I had to pick a country in Africa that would make a good title and Uganda Be Kidding Me just happened to fit right in.

Are there any gay stories in this book?

Of course! There are always gay people involved in my stories. I live with a lesbian who was with me on my trip. She’s an attorney so she always asks me to not use her name, but I can’t control myself.

Yeah I wouldn’t out anybody, but I do have a lot of respect for people who out themselves. I think it’s an important fight to fight. We’re in a day and time where the legalization of gay marriage, overturning DOMA and everything is happening. This is the time, it’s now, it’s here and it’s a good responsibility to take upon yourself. If you are a gay person, this is the time to come out and know you have a lot of support behind you. So, I always encourage everyone I know to be as honest as they can about their lifestyle and that also goes to anyone. It’s really important to own who you are and embrace who you are.

April 2014

Q Q

Why do you resonate with the LGBT community? Did you have any gay friends growing up?

I don’t know, I kind of feel like a gay person because I had a tough time in school growing up. And not like I feel like I’m gay but I can totally relate to them. Being ostracized and made fun of… I think everyone has gone through that at some point. I’ve always been friends with gay people and then when I became more well known, gay people were always reaching out and asking me to things (and I pretty much say yes to anybody who reaches out to do anything), so I kind of ended up tipping the scales in favor of the gays. And here I am — almost gay myself.

You’ve made some contributions and you’re a big HRC supporter. Why is HRC important to you?

I think it’s important to fight for the rights of any human being. Especially when it’s something you aren’t experiencing yourself, I think it’s good to reach out for people that have problems that you don’t have. You can really reach across the isle and help people and show compassion to a problem that isn’t necessarily yours but you see happening in the world. So it’s always important to think outside of yourself and outside of your natural circumstances and think, “Okay, how can I help somebody? Who is fighting a fight that I don’t personally have to deal with?”

Vital VOICE is distributed in both St. Louis and Kansas City and you will be headed here. As an East Coast girl, what your impressions of the Midwest?

Oh, I love the Midwest. Everybody is so nice and friendly. I grew up in New Jersey and then I moved to L.A. so it’s always nice to go to the Midwest. You’re like, “People are nice!” It’s like going to Spain.

So, do you have any funny stories about the Midwest?

Well the Midwest is the first time I’ve ever heard cheese curds… I remember I saw that on a menu once so I called my friend who’s from Wisconsin and I’m like, “WHAT are cheese curds?!” and she said, “Just order them and you’ll find out.” And then I did — I haven’t had them since.

So not a fan of cheese curds?

Well I mean, I just can’t eat stuff like that. Of course I’m a fan. Anything fried is good.

It’s no secret that you speak your mind and you take on topics that other talk show hosts or comedians never would. What is the most ridiculous comment you’ve ever gotten away with saying?

I get away with a lot of stuff, so I couldn’t narrow it down to one particular thing. If you just own what you say and you kind of have to be fair. I mean, I make fun of everybody. I’m Jewish, I’m a woman — I make fun of Jews, I make fun of women. I make fun of Asians, Black people,

comedy Presbyterians and even Episocaplians. You just have to be egalitarian with the way you go through life. And that way you are not being racist because you are making fun of stereotypes. Stereotypes are funny because sometimes they are true and sometimes they are not, so that’s what mixes everything up.

I’m a huge supporter of the fact you give a lot of straight talk about celebs. Tell me what’s irking you about the Hollywood scene now.

I guess people who behave like Justin Bieber. I think that’s kind of annoying. There’s just too much entitlement going on when kids are so successful and they’re so young, they completely abuse everybody around them and the situation they’re in. They completely lose their foundation and lose it all together; I mean he was a little kid when he started. That’s disappointing.

Who has been your favorite interview guest?

Mike Tyson was the best, probably ever, because the interview was so funny and I couldn’t believe how together he was. Just the way he was looking at me made me laugh. Will Ferrell is also one of my favorite people to interview.

Are there any dream guests that you haven’t had on your show yet that you’d like to speak with? I’d like to talk to Kim Jong-un, yeah that would be good. Saddam Hussein, except he’s dead. And probably David Hasselhoff again, even though I’ve already had him on as a guest.

You never know what’s going to happen!

Well, you’ve dated a lot of high profile men. Name the top three celebrities you’d wanna sleep with. No, I don’t have a hot list of celebrities I’d like to sleep with. I like to keep a lower profile in this town, so everything is working out fine for me. Well, I’d like to sleep with Michael Fassbender, but I don’t want to see him after that.

Your shows are best known for the hot topic commentaries, what topics are drawn to? Anything that has a funny slant to it. You know, anything that we can make fun of. Chris Christie and the bridge gate is funny because well, he’s built like a bridge — that’s ironic. Anytime people are making asses out of themselves is fun to make fun of — like Kate Gosselin just took her children on television to talk about how well they turned out and they didn’t say a word. They were obviously not happy to be on television and obviously weren’t happy that she was their mother.

Why’s that?

You do a great job of staying away from the tabloids, how are you able to do that? I say everything I think on my show, so nobody is trying to find any secrets because I think they know that there aren’t any. I’m not trying to hide any sort of lifestyle. I’m pretty forthright about the way I live and the things I do. People seem to be not that interested in my personal life, which they shouldn’t be because I talk about everything on TV anyway. V

Let’s talk love life. Are you seeing anybody?

No I’m not. I’m single. I don’t go on tour with a boyfriend. I always make sure I’m single for tours.

Chelsea’s Gaydar

We challenged Chelsea to rate how these “questionable” celebs rank on her gaydar on a scale of 1-10 (straight to gay). This is what she came up with:

“I don’t see her as gay, but I heard she is... so giving a 5 on this one.”

10+

ellen page

Zac efron

5 john travolta

“That’s a 1. They’re not gay... I spend too much time with them.”

11 10 oprah winfrey

taylor Lautner

5 1

10+

one direction tom cruise

STRAIGHT

GAY

HETERO-FLEXIBLE thevitalVOICE.com

Will you be

silent? Commemorating the National Day of Silence

april 11, 2014

April 2014

Denny Patterson Photography by GLSEN Illustration  by Andrea Piamonte Written by

“How will you end the silence?” This question is asked every year in April on a national day of observance called the Day of Silence. Sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), the Day of Silence is one of the largest student-based actions in the country. “The Day of Silence is a day of action in which high school students, college students and adults across the country vow to take a form of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of antiLGBT bullying and harassment in schools,” says GLSEN Youth Programs Associate Ikaika Regidor. “It started in 1996 and began to grow each year and even other countries participate. The point is to highlight the silence that LGBT students face when they feel it is unsafe for them to come out. We want to raise awareness and break the silence. Create a change for LGBT students around the country.” The Day of Silence is usually looked at as a positive and powerful tool that makes a change both personally and communitywide. Taking a vow of silence is equivalent to making a powerful statement about anti-LGBT bullying. The more involved, the stronger the message. “The Day of Silence also raises awareness for allies to get involved and be active and show their support,” Regidor says. “By saying ‘I care about you and want to create a change,’ that shows that there is a shift in the national conversation. Conversations about LGBT bullying are different.” In addition, when we look at gay-straight alliance groups around the country, a large chunk of members are non-LGBT allies. Part of the solution is for allies to take a stand as well. Students may have the right to participate between classes and before and after school, but they may not have the right to stay silent during class periods if a teacher or instructor asks them to speak. Some students may not have the chance at all to participate. This brings up the question as to how students, and even adults, can participate without having to be silent. “A lot of times we’ll get on Facebook and other various means,” Regidor said. “You choose what silence means to you. Letting

that fit your life and if that means just being silent for a lunch hour, that’s just as valid and worthy participation. Not everybody has the ability to refrain from talking. When this originally began, there was no social media. I know some people you can’t stay off of Facebook for more than hour. Deactivating your account for a day can count as a big step.” Another way to participate without being silent is by wearing an article of clothing or pin/badge that is LGBT related. Wear the rainbow flag. As Regidor said, choose what silence means to you. High school student Amelia Roskin-Frazee of Lick-Wilmerding High School in San Francisco has been actively participating in the Day of Silence for the past couple of years. She does not speak all day with the permission of her teachers and has done presentations at her all-school meetings the Monday before the Day of Silence to raise awareness about it.

You choose what silence means to you. Letting that fit your life and if that means just being silent for a lunch hour, that’s just as valid and worthy participation. “Making schools a safe place for all students regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity begins with education and awareness,” she explains. “Groups like GSAs that give students a safe space to discuss relevant issues are extremely important. Days of action like Day of Silence and Ally Week help raise awareness and show support for teens whose voices have been otherwise silenced.” High school student Matthew Yeung of California High School in San Ramon agrees. Working with his school’s GSA, they initiated a school-wide campaign to be silent by wearing duct tape over their mouths. By taking a vow of silence, the students made a statement to the community that bullying is wrong and unjustified. “We need more days like Day of Silence to remind students of the serious problem in bullying, and the negative impact it has on individuals,” Yeung says. “I believe Day of Silence is only an eclipsing step

in conquering LGBT bullying not only in school, but in workplace discrimination and family. My experience with bullying in school still echoes throughout my adolescent years, but standing to face the problem has helped me in immeasurable ways. We learn to cheer for the underdog, because we see ourselves in them.” However, not everyone feels that the Day of Silence is effective. The LGBT community is constantly urging not being silent and voicing their rights. It is understandable that some might see the Day of Silence as a contradiction. Zach Saenz who attends Millikin University in Decatur, Ill. is an example. He participated in the Day of Silence while in high school, but never felt like it truly had an impact on his school’s student body. “It was around my junior year that I decided that being silent wasn’t enough,” he recalls. “Instead of being silent to attract attention, I used conversation to bring light to the topic of gay rights. I don’t feel like ‘a day of silence‘ followed by ’a night of noise‘ is an effective way to get anything done because we are just making a scene. If there is one thing I’ve learned from being bullied as a kid, it was that silence solves nothing. Rather than being silent to draw attention, I talk openly about issues involving LGBTQ people and try to show everyone that we are no different from anyone else.” Regidor also sees how many might feel that the Day of Silence can be contradictory and agrees that there are many questions in regards to the idea of not being silent. “I definitely hear what people are saying and agree that we need to act,” he says. “The Day of Silence goes hand in hand with not only being silent, but how to break it as well.” Overall, Regidor thinks in terms of what more can be done and how to end the silence all year long. “More people are beginning to look at how to break the silence,” he explains. “There is so much energy that goes into this one day, and that’s amazing, but what can we do to break the silence and create change all year round? It can’t be done in one day. Even though the energy is ripe and at its peak on that day, we need to continue the conversation – no matter what day it is.” V

thevitalVOICE.com

April 2014

Music

Gay singer/songwriter talks new album, his future and how his fans are getting him there Written by Brent Peterson Photography by Joem C. Bayawa Steve Grand is quickly on his way to becoming a household name. The openly gay Chicago, Ill. native released his debut single “All-American Boy” last summer on YouTube, where it quickly went viral. To date, the video has garnered over 2.75 million views. It was always Steve’s dream to be an independent artist, free from the record label constraints. To help with his dream, Grand launched a Kickstarter campaign in hopes to raise $81,000 to advertise, promote and produce his new album, All-American Boy. Within 17 hours, his “GrandFam” — what he calls his fans — had met his goal. Within two days, Grand had become one of 32 musicians to reach more than $100,000, out of more than 27,000 attempted Kickstarters. Not content to stop there, his GrandFam made his Kickstarter campaign one of the top 10 most funded in their history. “I never for one second take for granted the amazing support I’ve been so lucky to receive,” Grand says. “It’s amazing, I’m living my dream.” Grand plans to use the money to tour in the summer and continue work on his new album, which will contain 12 songs, including his first two singles, “All-American Boy” and “Stay.”

“The money will be used in a very smart and very deliberate way,” Grand assured. In the video for “California,” Grand is shown reliving a friendship with a girl from high school through the present. “The song is autobiographical,” Grand explains. “It’s about a friendship I had from high school through college.” That friend and Grand grew apart, but still kept in touch. He said he wrote the song after seeing an announcement of his friend’s engagement on Facebook. “I started having all these flashbacks once I saw she was getting married,” Grand says. “It was a time when we were so close. I was dreaming about being a rock star, and she was dreaming about everything she aspired to do in life.” The song is about friendship, but there’s another message there. Grand continues, “I wanted to convey that disillusionment of youth. How we have all these hopes and dreams as kids, and even as early as post-college life, you see that not all of them happen the way we thought they would, or happen at all.” As of this writing, Steve Grand’s new video on YouTube has over 59,000 views. For his tour, Grand is excited to meet his fans, and says that the more money that they raise for his Kickstarter, the bigger the tour can be.

“I want to start my tour in June, and the more money we raise, the more places I can go,” Grand says. “That’s so important to me. I want to be able to see my GrandFam on the road. I’m so excited for a summer of jam-packed touring.” Once this tour is over and the album is out, Grand says he has no plans of slowing down. “I’ll be writing the next record the day after this one comes out,” he says. “There’s no rest in sight for me, but I’m so grateful that I’m able to do something that I love and feel so passionate about.” When asked about his future, Grand expressed some wariness in thinking too far ahead: “It always freaks me out looking at the future. It’s so hard for me to say where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing. I’m always working towards something, but I’m so present in what I’m doing right now and making this album the best it can be. All I can say is this definitely isn’t the last word.” Grand has said over and over that he does this for his fans, and he acknowledged the huge amount of support they have given his Kickstarter. “I could never imagine getting that much money from my fans,” he says. “It’s unbelievable. I want to thank my fans for giving me a sense of purpose and for their outpouring of love, support and generosity. They’ve changed my life.” V

thevitalVOICE.com

Dance Along

Antonio

with

Douthit-Boyd

The Alvin Ailey performer talks growing up in northern St. Louis, being discovered and his passion for dance â&#x20AC;¨Written by Denny Patterson Photography by Andrew Eccles

April 2014

dance

o matter the obstacle, anyone can achieve his or her goals – just ask Antonio Douthit-Boyd. Growing up in northern St. Louis, Douthit-Boyd faced many harsh realities. It was finding his passion for dance that brought him solace and positive reinforcement. Through hard work and dedication, Douthit-Boyd continued to train at numerous institutions and perform all over the country. For the past 11 years, he has been a part of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre, one of the world’s most popular and iconic dance companies.

Douthit-Boyd will be back in St. Louis on April 25-26 as Alvin Ailey performs at the Fabulous Fox Theatre. I had the chance to chat with him about his chosen art, growing up in northern St. Louis and being married to fellow Alvin Ailey performer, Kirven Douthit-Boyd.

First off, what sparked your interest in dance?

I was a social dancer when I was sixteen and then went on to dance training. At the family functions, I was the boy doing MC Hammer and busting some kind of move. My family thought I was really good and said I should keep dancing.

So are your family and friends supportive of your career?

My dad’s family is, but my mom’s side was against it at first. She thought it was too feminine for me to be dancing and didn’t think I could make a career out of it. She thought dancing wasn’t masculine at all. She has come to accept it and is now fully supportive.

Exactly how were you discovered?

I was walking down Grand and either Compton

or Delmar and there was a dance studio having some class. I walked in and was like, “I want to dance.” I was totally just playing around, but the teacher saw some talent

in me. She kept training me and asked me to come back to the school.

I found other guys that had the same interests. It wasn’t one of those things like, “Are you gay? Hey, I’m gay.” I knew I was different, but didn’t act on it. I didn’t know how to look upon it, but I always knew I was gay.

Are your family and friends supportive about you being gay?

Yes, everybody is pretty supportive. My family loves my husband and his family loves me.

Q Q

Did you ever think you would be performing all around the country?

No, not at all! After high school, I thought dancing was fun, but I couldn’t make a career out of it. While I was in college, my teacher said that I was talented and that I could make a career out of it. My first professional performance was after my first year of college at the North Carolina School of the Arts.

What was it like growing up in northern St. Louis?

It was rough, not the kind of place where you tell others that you did ballet. I didn’t talk about dance outside of classes too much. Most of my friends were getting into trouble and doing all kinds of things that were not productive. I found dance and I put all my energy into it. I didn’t hang with friends in the neighborhood. Even though north St. Louis is definitely tough, it made me a stronger person.

So dance helped you refrain from going down the wrong path in life?

Dance took up all my time. I was in every dance class and studio around St. Louis. No matter what I was doing, I was dancing everywhere.

Were you open about your sexual orientation when you were younger?

No, it was just one of those things I never talked about. When I went to Central Division for the performing arts,

Speaking of your husband, tell me about Kirven. How’s married life?

Married life is good! We’ve been together for nine years, married for one year in June. We work together, live together and spend many moments together. I couldn’t live or do this job if he was somewhere else, it would be too strange. Sometimes I need to step away, but who doesn’t? Being married and working together is good. He also comes with me every year in January to help do master classes with COCA.

What do you miss the most about St. Louis when you’re away from home?

I miss that it’s leveled. It’s not constantly go-go-go and you are able to enjoy your time. I enjoy being able to go to a restaurant and spend an hour to eat, not rushing in and out. I also miss the people. How they smile and sometimes start up random conversations. You can’t always do that in New York.

What do you love the most about working with Alvin Ailey?

There is so much room and freedom to explore art and be yourself. You can really be you.

What is one of your most memorable dance career moments?

I would have to say the first time I got to perform in “Revelations” with the company. It’s one of Alvin Ailey’s most distinguished works – a masterpiece. After I performed in that, I felt like I was officially a part of the company. That was one of my best times. V

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April 2014

FAIRVIEW HEIGHTS

SOUTH GRAND WEST COUNTY

Opinion

Everything that Went Wrong with the Olympics

Written by Chris Clark Illustration by Julie Bonk

What went wrong with the 2014 Sochi Olympic Games? The short answer is: “plenty.” The massive spread of negative press and jaw-dropping images of shoddy construction was potentially the Mother Russia of all PR disasters. Some of it was so silly and outrageous that it felt like Edina Monsoon and Patsy Stone were clumsily quarterbacking the Sochi Hunger Games instead of the Olympics. Let’s break down some real talk on this year’s Winter Games.

was considered the top contender: Vienna, Austria.

This year’s games allegedly cost Russia an estimated $51 billion, which is considerably more than the other games in world history. That is a lot of bling people. On the open market, that buys nearly 2 billion bottles of Pearl Vodka or perhaps thousands of fashion-forward ensembles for Johnny Weir.

Violence was also well represented in Sochi. The issue of wild roaming dog packs was met with coldhearted, ruthless action. They were collected and killed, which, of course, offended and horrified animal-lovers worldwide. If you want people to love you, please don’t shoot the dog.

Courtesy of NBC, the American viewing experience offered opportunities to embrace products from global corporations like Coke and McDonalds, which are both good for the human body. Coke products will be used to dissolve the soon to be abandoned sporting venues. Also, shame on you Mickey D’s for comparing the coveted gold medal to Chicken McNuggets (which, by the way, is NOT made of ammonia-laden pink slime). Not cool. Right out of the Kevin Costner playbook, Putin adopted an “if you build it, they will come” attitude about Sochi. His bid to the International Olympic Committee swiped the rights from what

Prankster Jimmy Kimmel had us briefly believe that wolves were parading up and down the hallways of an athlete housing venue. In some cases, light bulbs and potable water were in serious short supply. One ill-fated bobsledder had to literally break through a door to escape his bathroom. It was world-class Internet fodder. Thanks so very much for that!

Of all possible “boys against the girls” scenarios, none was ever as brutal and head-scratching as watching the video of Cossacks beating on members of the female punk band Pussy Riot. I have not heard about Cossacks since they were guest henchmen on Batman in the 60s — another reality television opportunity missed. Would you watch girls in skirts and ski masks fighting off hungry wolves with grit and punk music? Sorry, Ms. Honey Boo Boo. You are so last year. Wait comrades, there’s more! Okay, I’ll say it. Russia won. They had the most gold medals and most medals overall, therefore declaring Russia as the official country winner of these games. Team USA did come in second and the Cold War is long over, but the Russians beat us. They beat us all. Five countries each earned more than 20 medals and the United States earned an impressive total of 27, but this was simply not good enough. Nyet!

The Americans whiffed on a number of sports and medals that we arrogantly assumed were ours, like hockey, speed skating and anything that Shaun White does. Sometimes the most expensive, ergonomically designed gear does not cut the mustard. Ralph Lauren designed the official Team USA gear and it actually looked rather ridiculous. Take the jackets: clearly, somebody got overexcited with their glue gun and forgot that the rules of fashion. Rule number one – don’t wear ugly things on an internationally televised program. I saved this for last because it became so iconic so quickly. In the majestic and truly beautiful opening night ceremony, one of the floating Olympic rings did not open. Ironically, it was the upper right red ring that failed. Proud Russia, home of Red Square and their proud red national flag, was not amused by this mistake. It was briefly reported on the Internet that the technician responsible for this grievous error was viciously stabbed to death in his hotel room. Alas, untrue; they were saving their strength to beat up Pussy Riot. Full disclosure: I love watching the Olympics, and felt that the opening and closing ceremonies in Sochi were incredibly moving and magical. During the closing ceremony, hundreds of ice skaters formed the five concentric rings, but briefly held the fifth closed as a nod to the opening. When it fully opened up, the crowd went wild. Maybe the Russians are good sports after all. I am relieved that it is all over now, so I can stop myself from constantly checking the medals count and concentrate on what is most important in life: Facebook and text messages. V

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