August 2013

August 2013

Julie Burton Girl Next Door

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Out of

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Family Ties Jack & Colin Lovett

Love is...

Ageless Long Term LGBT Couples

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Question of the Month: What inspires you about this issue?

CEO/Publisher Darin Slyman dsly@thevitalvoice.com Executive Editor/Senior Writer Colin Murphy colinm@thevitalvoice.com

oot, On our cover sh or ni se r seeing ou very ill st s le up LGBT co ith one much in love w azing. am another was

Associate Publisher Jimmy Lesch jimmy@thevitalvoice.com Art Director Andrea Piamonte andrea@thevitalvoice.com Chief Photographer Tim brenner tim@thevitalvoice.com Staff Photographer Mikey Berner

all that Seeing ns neratio the ge s have u before ed gives lish p m o c e ac e for th me hop re. futu

Staff Writer Matt Jamieson mattj@thevitalvoice.com Staff Writer Hanna botney hanna@thevitalvoice.com

These a re that the stories generat younger ion ne know a eds to bout.

Contributing Writer colin lovett Staff Writer DENNY PATTERSON

Contributors Photography: Mikey Berner, Darin Slyman, Steve Truesdell, Andrea Piamonte and Bart Lovett Writing: Colin Murphy, Matt Jamieson, Denny Patterson, Hanna Botney, Brent Peterson, Lauren Wagner and Jimmy No Show

Advisory Board

15K Issues Printed Monthly 300+ Points of Distribution Vital VOICE is your premier LGBT publication and reaches a diverse readership from thoughtful leaders and young thinkers to trend setters in culture, entertainment and beyond.

William A. Donius, Thom Halter, Colin Murphy, Jay Perez, Pam Scheider, Kellie Trivers, Sharon Tucci

Online thevitalVOICE.com facebook.com/VitalVOICE twitter.com/VitalVOICEmag youtube.com/TheVitalVISION instagram.com/vitalVOICE

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August 2013

Interviewing co uples that have been together for 25 +years.

The strength of their relationships re ally inspires me, an d has taught me to no t sweat the small stuff.

In this issue August 2013 | Volume 14 | Issue 8

26.

On the COVER: Love Is… Ageless.

Story by Brent Peterson Photography by Steve Truesdell

4. advertisers at a glance assume 18. LezI’mbegay Real— Don’t 9. Editor’s letter 22. Julie Burton— girl 11. Guest Editor’s Letter: next door

sherrilL wayland

12.

One out of 10— family ties Jack and Colin Lovett – A grandfather and grandson inspire each other to take a stand.

Athlete, activist, pioneer and Trans educator, Julie Burton is many things, but above all the self-described, “girl next door.”

25.

AARP­— achieving a financial piece of mind 33. making a difference: prime timers and oloc

34. A life of activism

Profiles of LGBT activists John Sweet, Barbara Woodruff, Eugene Potchen Webb and Bert Coleman.

40. SAGE AND ITS PARTNERS 43. JIMMY no SHOW KNOWS MUSIC: Q&A WITH KARMIN

46. playd/a/tes 48. scene & Styling Vital VOICE is printed on recycled newspaper and uses soy ink for a 100% recyclable product.

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August 2013

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Editor’s letter

As the Presses

Roll...

Welcome to the first-ever Silver Issue dedicated to LGBTer’s 50 and up. This edition has been over a year in the making and dear to our hearts.

Ageism is frustratingly ingrained in our tribe. We’re inundated by marketing aimed at the beautiful and well bodied 20 to 30 set. The bar culture, with a few exceptions, has always been an arena for the young. But we all get older. It is one of life’s inescapable facts – and the contributions and talents of our LGBT elders should not just be celebrated but utilized each and every day.

I come from a long line of story tellers – and early on in my coming out would sit transfixed listening to the stories of older LGBTers. I realized early on that I was not born into this community – rather, I inherited a history and community whose ground was prepared through the blood, sweat and tears of the generations before me. It’s a relay race, really – and the baton is passed to each of us to further build a better LGBT word.

When we were shooting the cover for this issue, I scanned the faces around the studio. You couldn’t help but be empowered seeing the love, drive and energy surrounding these iconic elders. In between takes, stories poured forth about the changes they’ve seen in their lifetimes. It was a mix of generations – from 90 to 22 – but one community.

Our community needs that intergenerational balance and dialogue. At 42, I’m firmly rooted in middle-age. I’ll own it. But I learn each day – from our 19 year old intern to the inspired and inspiring LGBT older adults I’ve had the pleasure to know.

The Silver Issue is a celebration of community. And our community owes a debt of gratitude to its older members who paved the way – when just whispering the words “I’m gay” or embracing your true gender or finding your way to a back alley gay bar was a profile in courage. v In Pride,

Colin Murphy Executive Editor

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August 2013

Guest Editor

Guest Editor’s

Letter

Dear Friends, It is an honor to be the guest editor of the first Silver Issue of Vital VOICE. This issue is dedicated to our LGBT older adult community. As the Founding Executive Director of SAGE Metro St. Louis, I have had the pleasure of working with some of the most inspirational community members, LGBT older adults.

Today we are experiencing a moment in history that some 30, 40, 50 years ago would not have seemed possible. LGBT older adults stood on the front lines of the LGBT Human Rights Movement including the Compton Cafeteria and Stonewall Riots; locally the formation of the Mandrake Society; and our own local version of the Stonewall Riots. This generation also stepped forward when no one else was, as they cared for and watched countless friends die during the early years of the AIDS crisis.

Publicly, many LGBT older adults lived their lives under a shroud of invisibility. Being out and proud historically was not an option. The world for LGBT Americans was one of violence and persecution for being LGBT and often had dire consequences. Yet, through local, state, and national community action and organizational development, the latter half of the 20th Century became a time of progress and political organizing.

The LGBT Equality gains in the 21st Century is only possible through the direct action and leadership of LGBT older adults who fought the battles when being LGBT was unspoken in most social circles.

The Silver Issue will share with you the stories and triumphs of LGBT and allied older adults who make an impact on daily life in St. Louis. In addition, you will meet some of the community providers who have embraced LGBT inclusion and work with SAGE Metro St. Louis to ensure LGBT older adults can age with dignity and respect in the city we call home. v

Sherrill Wayland, MSW Executive Director. SAGE Metro St. Louis

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One of 10 ain’t bad! out

A Look into LGBT Life- Past & Present

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August 2013

Jack & Colin Lovett

Family

column

Ties Jack & Colin Lovett “The only difference between us is 60 years and sexuality.”

Written by Colin Murphy – Editor Photography by Steve Truesdell, Bart Lovett & Andrea Piamonte I’m sitting between Air Force Lt. Colonel, (Ret) Jack C. Lovett and his grandson Colin Lovett a week after the duo touched PrideFest goers by participating in the first-ever wreath laying ceremony to honor fallen LGBT veterans at Soldiers’ Memorial and leading the LGBT Center of St. Louis’ Military Diversity Project in the annual Pride Parade.

“Well, It’s time to turn on that old Lovett bullshit,” Colin quips.

“Yeah, we’ve got a lot of that,” Jack shoots back.

The love and respect between the two is infectious.

“You, me and dad – we’re for the most part carbon copies of each other,” adds Colin. “The only difference between us is 60 years and sexuality.”

For friends and Facebook followers of the younger Lovett, who is president of The LGBT Center of St. Louis, the name Jack C. Lovett is a familiar one.

Following the death of his grandmother in 2009, Colin moved in with his grandfather for two years to keep him company and help look after him.

“When I moved in I was not out to

him, and ironically, it was at this time that I started getting involved with the LGBT community,” Colin stated from the steps of Soldiers’ Memorial on June 29. “I would leave, put on my “Legalize Gay” shirt, march down the street for equality, then when I got back, would have the thing off before I went in the house. Over the course of the time there, I became the president of the LGBT Center’s board and fought tirelessly for the community, all the while, not being out to my grandfather.

“Two years ago, love pushed me out of the closet,” Colin continued. “I woke up one morning, went to Slackers and bought a copy of Milk (my old one was borrowed), went home, mustered up the courage and came out to him. We watched Milk, talked for hours, and turns out that at 88, an old country boy from the middle of nowhere Oklahoma turned war hero and civil rights leader can change their views again – he supported me, supported my partner, and still remained my biggest cheerleader in my goals to make a difference.”

I asked Jack how he felt when his grandson came out to him.

“To me, he’s always been the allAmerican boy,” he says. “Colin did

everything that he was supposed to – he was a damn good student. I was just shocked and amazed, but then as I thought about it, I couldn’t help but be pleased with him that he had the courage to do that… I think I’m still going through an adjustment period on it. Early on – he had been out to everybody else but me and I can understand why, because I’m a bit of a damned old redneck in a lot of ways.”

Colin points out how his grandfather has come a long way: “It’s all about education and exposure. He really hadn’t been exposed to it and slowly and surely as he becomes more exposed to it – I think I even heard you say at the parade that ‘all of these people are like everybody else.’”

At 90 and a half, the elder Lovett remains an impressive and likable guy. The WWII veteran is folksy with a knowing, winsome smile and still possesses the passion and drive to take a stand. It turns out it’s a tradition in the Lovett family – dating back some 60-plus years.

“I tell ya, I was so impressed with it,” Jack says of first PrideFest. “I told Colin, if I’d of missed that, I’d have missed a significant part of my life. I’ve never been a part of too many things

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Jack & Colin Lovett

It was an iconic moment: Jack, wearing his Air Force uniform and waving the American Flag and Colin, donned in Eagle Scout dress, commanding cheers as they rode past the crowds.

“I could see and feel the patriotism down there,” says Jack. “The American flag I was holding really got the applause.”

that big, it was just absolutely great.

I hadn’t imagined it was going to be nearly that large – so exciting, with so many people cheering you on. It was really an inspiring thing to me.”

Colin had approached his grandfather about participating in the PrideFest wreath laying ceremony at Soldiers’ Memorial. His grandfather not only agreed, but jumped at the chance to ride in the pride parade in solidarity with his grandson.

“He could charm the balls off of a brass monkey,” Jack laughs.

Colin adds: “My assention into being involved in some ways is centered around not being out to my grandfather.

So to be riding in the parade with a sea of rainbow and 125,000 people leading the military and veterans down the street – him in full uniform at 90 and a half and me getting to do the Boy Scout uniform – it was just an overwhelming feeling.”

Standing Tall Growing up during the Great Depression, Jack was drawn to politics early on through FDR’s New Deal and his work in the labor movement.

“I’ve always been a strong Democrat,

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August 2013

but the way I really got involved in politics is through the local union,” he recalls. “I was president of my local union for 12 years and while I was president I served on the City Planning Commission of Fort Smith, Arkansas, worked with the United Way and Salvation Army and on the State Board of AFL-CIO” “He was a man of many hats,” Colin chimes in.

But it was during President Truman’s desegregation of the U.S. Military in 1950 and finding himself standing in the footprint of history in 1957 while guarding the “Little Rock Nine” that cemented Jack’s drive for social justice.

“I’ve always believed that a person ought to be able to go as far as their hard work and talent will take them without any restrictions whatsoever. It ought to be an individual thing,” offers Jack.

The Little Rock Nine were a group of African American students enrolled in Little Rock Central High School in 1957.

The ensuing Little Rock Crisis, in which the students were initially prevented

from entering the racially segregated school by Arkansas Governor Orval Faubus, and then attended after the intervention of President Eisenhower.

“Now in Little Rock – they had the White Citizens’ Council down there and we had a governor, Orval Faubus who was just a political animal,” Jack recalls. “And he saw [opposing integration] as a way to perpetuate himself in office.”

As Jack explains, Faubus called up the Second Battalion of the 153rd Infantry of the Arkansas National Guard to keep the African American students out of school setting up a clash between the state of Arkansas and the federal government. Eisenhower then mobilized the Arkansas National Guard and took control from Faubus. Jack Lovett’s Military Police unit was one of the groups called up.

“I would have never believed that in the state of Arkansas or in the United States that the general population would be so aggressive and deny these nine black children the right to go to Central High School,” says Jack.

“The thing that was amazing to me was how these nine black children could do as well as they did under the teaching conditions that existed,” he continues.

“Because early on we had guards that were in classrooms, and as things

died down, we moved the guards to the hallways. But the most dangerous situation was for the [African American] girls in the restrooms. There were no women in the army at that time and they had no protection when they were in the restroom. So they’d go into the stalls and the damn white girls would throw trash and urine and everything at them over the stalls.”

Jack’s unit kept watch over Central High for nine months and guards would break up attacks and protect the African American students as best they could.

When they were able to catch abuse, students were apprehended and turned over to school officials. Mostly they would get a slap on wrist, or at worst, a short suspension.

Jack’s MP unit enjoyed a good relationship with many of the white students who would keep them informed of any covert activity that was going to take place – like the now infamous effigy burned in front of campus.

“That was the reason the Task Force Commander and I were stationed out by the flag pole in front,” he recalls.

“And sure enough — at 9 a.m., out they marched, went across the street, popped the effigy outside of the tree, tore into it with a knife and then finally set it on fire.”

“When I tore down the effigy – of course, I’ve never been called so many damned names in my life,” Jack continues. “When I got the effigy down, I wasn’t sure if I was going to walk out of there with all of my teeth or not. Of course, they were closing in around me, but I looked around and there stood a rifle company with the 101st Airborne with fixed bayonets and they made a V formation and put me in the center of it.”

Shortly after, Jack was told by his general that they had intelligence that the Klu Klux Klan was going to burn a cross in front of his house in Fort Smith.

They flew him home that night so he could protect his young family.

“I didn’t even have a chance to call my wife or anything, I just knocked on the front door,” offers Jack. “So I stayed there a few days and nothing ever happened. Fortunately, the police were on patrol too, but I stayed up for two nights on them bastards.”

“I grew up with these stories,” says Colin. “I’ve heard these stories well enough I could recite them. It was just sort of what you did – it was the right thing to do. So to hear stories about taking a stand when nobody else got up to take a stand – it was just what you did. I think after seeing Milk – you gotta take a stand.”

Jack C. Lovett sees a lot of himself in his grandson and is relishing his new-found role as grandfather and ally to many (the YouTube video of Jack’s speech at the wreath laying ceremony received over 1,000 hits in its first 24 hours and he’s a bit of a Facebook phenomenon.)

“People who deny other people the freedoms that they themselves have – that just staggers my imagination,” Jack explains, his voice trailing off in thought. “One of the things is that I enjoyed – I felt so comfortable with all of the people along the [PrideFest] parade route. And I’ve been gone from the public scene for so long….”

“Welcome back,” Colin replies, tipping a glass to his grandfather.

Welcome back, indeed. v

Jack Lovett Marches his MP Unit Through the Streets of Fort Smith

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August 2013

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Lez BE REAL

I’m Gay

The Importance of Eliminating Identity Erasure Written by Hanna Botney

he community of LGBTQ women is just as diverse as the community at large. I think we often forget to look beyond the “L.” There is such a wide variety of sexualities, including, but not limited, to queer, questioning, bisexual, and labelless, and that excludes any gender identity that would fall under the category “woman.” While gender and sexuality are intertwined, they are very different and for my purposes I am only going to discuss sexuality; although my arguments could apply to gender identity, as well as any identity for that matter.

We tend to look at identity through one lens: a woman likes women thus she is a lesbian. But, there is a whole subset of people that this one-way thinking ignores, and it is important that we acknowledge these identities in general as part of our fight for equality. Even more importantly, we must acknowledge them to benefit our interpersonal relationships.

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August 2013

In the fight for equal rights, none of us have true equality until the most marginalized groups have equality. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Ignoring or mis-categorizing (thus erasing) a woman’s identity is a form of injustice, and can be equated to lesbians being ignored in society at large. It does not help, but rather hurts, our cause. For example, there was a time when lesbians had to fight to be included in the feminist movement. Just because a woman likes women does not make her unworthy of full rights as a woman. Likewise, just because a woman also likes men, also likes people of all gender identities, or chooses not to identify does not mean that she is unworthy of full rights as a member of the LGBTQ community.

Some of what I am saying may

column

dOn’t assume i’m gay Don’t assume i’m straight Illustration by Jackie Reich

be very obvious to you but I think it is important to remind ourselves that erasure happens. Once we recognize the problem, we can work to fix it. This brings me to the second part of the erasure conversation: interpersonal relationships. I have exclusively dated bisexual women in my life thus I have thought a lot about this issue. I have noticed that in many friendships and relationships we tend to mis-categorize and erase identities. The women in my group of friends almost exclusively identify as lesbian with the exception of two bisexual women. We use the words gay and lesbian to describe ourselves without acknowledging the presence of other identities. Sure, it may be easier to use gay but that is a form of erasure. Those women bring a

It’s no secret that Megan Fox identifies as a bisexual.

“

whole set of experiences as bisexuals that we completely ignore when we mis-categorize them. This is why I use the phrase “women who love women” as much as I can. It is still correct but includes all LGBTQ women.

My favorite thing to say when people misidentify my girlfriend is, “Oh, no.

She’s not gay” and watch their faces scrunch up in confusion. People assume that a woman who is with another woman is gay. It is most important not to erase identities in our closest personal relationships, because people’s unique experiences make them who they are and it is people’s full selves with whom we engage in a relationship. When I allow people to refer to my girlfriend as gay, I ignore all

of the men who have been important in her life. I ignore the pieces of her that have shaped her into the woman with whom I am in a relationship. She grew from those relationships so that we can have the relationship that we do. I understand and appreciate that.

We have to have that same mindset throughout our community. We must understand and appreciate our fellow LGBTQ women and all of the experiences that encompass their identity. This is necessary in order to engage in any type of relationship with women within the community, and it is also necessary in the fight for equality.

After all, we are the LGBTQ community, not the L and G community. v

Those women bring a whole set of experiences as bisexuals that we completely ignore when we mis-categorize them. This is why I use the phrase “women who love women” as much as I can.

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Julie Burton

Girl Next Door Written by Lauren Wagner Photography by Darin Slyman

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A

stellar athlete, an activist, a pioneer, and a trans educator, Julie Burton is many things, but above all she is a humble woman and the self described, “girl next door.” Julie was born into the life of John Burton in St. Louis in 1950. Despite her inner struggles, Julie made the most of her life as John. She always flourished as an athlete and took refuge in the comradely of team activities.

For 23 years, Burton was married and raised two sons with her former wife. After all those years of marriage, her life as John was rocked by divorce, and Burton felt compelled to acknowledge her true self. As Julie said, “It manifested to the point that I had to figure it out, I had to find out who I really was. Even the spectrum is so broad you just don’t know where you fit in as a transgender person.”

Burton described masking herself in a ‘man’s world’ before beginning her journey of gender discovery.

In January 2013, Burton completed that journey when she underwent sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) in California. Burton, like many other trans women, sought out the renowned Dr. Marci Bowers who specializes in gender reassignment surgeries.

Though not all trans women feel open about their surgical status, Julie has embraced the experience and is now using the knowledge that she gained to awaken and inform others about trans issues. Julie has already participated in several speaking engagements for students both undergraduate and graduate as well as other groups.

When asked about the hardships she has faced while transitioning, Burton replied, “It’s a process for all of us. You just have to understand the process. Society’s acceptance takes time and we have to be the pioneers for the next level, a stepping stone towards people accepting us. It’s all part of the big picture of making things work. ” Burton also noted, “I don’t mind…I know who I am, it can cause confusion, but that’s their problem not mine.”

On advice for other trans persons and especially trans youth, Burton commented, “They have to try to get as much support as they can. I’ve been fortunate to have the resources to get where I am, but not everyone is. So for kids they need to get to a therapist as soon as they can so they understand that they are okay. My parents certainly didn’t have any clue, but parents today are so much more aware. I hope to do future work with assisting trans youth. My purpose is awareness, and awareness can save lives. If I can be instrumental in that I want to be.”

Though many aspects of Julie’s life

have undergone major changes, her passion for athleticism has always been a constant. Julie excels at almost any sporting activity and is involved with Team St. Louis, Front Runners and the Senior Olympics. Competing in the Senior Olympics, Julie has won gold medals in almost every event she has entered. During the Senior Olympics 2011-2013, Burton has competed in 36 events resulting in 32 gold medals, three silver and one bronze. This year Burton was restricted to 10 events and won 10 gold medals. Burton also currently holds two Senior Olympics sprinting records for the 100 meter and 200 meter dash.

Burton is also a member of Front Runners, a LGBT running club that Burton’s brother helped found 25 years ago and was president for 10 years. Two years ago, Burton won her age group in the annual Pride 5K for Front Runners.

In 2014, Burton hopes to compete in the Senior Olympics as well as the Gay Games. She also hopes to continue her speaking engagements, advocacy and passive activism for trans people everywhere. Even if her humble nature deters her from saying so Burton is a pioneer for her generation and her affect on others is palpable. She handles adversity with grace and faces the future with great optimism. v

“I don’t mind…I know who I am, it can cause confusion, but that’s their problem not mine.”

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August 2013

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Achieving Financial Peace of Mind as an

“Unmarried” LGBT Couple

On June 27, thousands of people gathered on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court to witness history, as the Court ruled on the economic and civil rights of millions of American same-sex couples.

Eighty-three-year-old Edith Windsor had become the ebullient face of the marriage equality cause, when she successfully sued the federal government for a refund of the $363,000 federal estate tax bill she had paid after the death of her partner of 44 years. (She paid another $275,000 in New York estate taxes.)

Ms. Windsor’s situation underscored the impact of “marriage” on the economic security of older LGBT Americans. With legally recognized marriages, it is much easier for committed same-sex couples to plan and manage their lifelong household

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August 2013

finances. Among thousands of other benefits, legally married spouses enjoy freedom from the estate and inheritance taxes, access to their spouse’s Social Security, Medicare and retiree health benefits, and the right to use the Family and Medical Leave Act to care for an ailing spouse without facing job loss.

When the Court struck down the 1996 federal Defense of Marriage Act, the law that withheld the federal benefits of marriage from lawfully married samesex couples, the day ended in victory for Ms. Windsor, as well as for the two other California couples who challenged their state’s voter-approved same-sex marriage ban, and for hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples living in the 13 states (including D.C.) where same-sex marriages are now recognized.

For LGBT Missourians, however, very little changed that day.

Along with 28 other states, voters in the State of Missouri amended their constitution to ban any recognition of same-sex relationships, and the Supreme Court left those laws untouched. As the federal government works to redefine marriage in its laws, it’s not yet clear how those federal laws will apply to LGBT couples who live in states like Missouri but were legally married in other states, like Iowa.

As this plays out, AARP – your ally for real possibilities – will continue to be an ally helping you navigate the thicket of laws and regulations. In the meantime, here are a few tips to help same-sex couples achieve some financial peace of mind.

Special

’s Tips for Finance

1. Consult an attorney to discuss whether your relationship would qualify you for Social Security spouse or survivor benefits.

Although it’s a less clear case than in states where same-sex marriages are recognized, if your state recognizes a civil union for inheritance purposes, the Social Security Administration may recognize your relationship, as well.

2. Review your finances together and separately.

Without state recognition of your marriage, you have a smaller safety net than heterosexual married couples.

If one of you died or had a terminal illness, would there be enough assets, after taxes, for the survivor to maintain her or his standard of living? Develop a list of expenses that you incur as a couple, and then address the following issues: If one of you died, which expenses would go away?

How much income would disappear?

Which debts would remain for the survivor to pay off? The mortgage? The cars? Credit card bills in both names?

How much impact would taxes have on the amount the deceased left behind in individual retirement accounts (IRAs)?

If there would not be enough assets left for the survivor, think about buying life insurance – which is not subject to income tax, and can be structured to avoid the estate tax – to cover a shortfall. Consider consulting a financial adviser who has experience working with same-sex couples. You can get names of local advisers from the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

3. Review and update your estate documents. Whether you have $1,000 or $1 million, you have an estate, and if you want it to go to your same-sex partner upon your death

Promotion

(instead of to whomever your state deems to be your legal heirs), you have to make specific decisions and plans.

Do you have a will?

When was the last time you updated it?

Will your assets flow to your partner upon your death, and vice versa, exactly as you intend?

You should meet with an attorney to update or complete your estate documents properly.

He or she may be able to help you set up trust arrangements to avoid some tax consequences.

4. Review your beneficiary designations for all your assets. Assets that have designated

beneficiaries, such as retirement accounts and life insurance, do not follow the directions of your will and do not go through the delays and expenses of probate (the legal process by which a deceased person’s final affairs are settled). Instead, when you die, the beneficiary of record quickly receives the proceeds regardless of what is written in your will. For the surviving partner, quick access to cash for living expenses can be critical. Designating your partner as a beneficiary also reduces the possibility that someone could override your wishes, since it generally cannot be contested.

Specifically review your elections for your retirement accounts, health savings accounts and life insurance policies to make sure they are up-to-date and accurately reflect your wishes.

Change financial accounts that do not typically have beneficiary elections — such as certificates of deposit, savings, investment and checking accounts — to “payable on death” to your partner.

Title your property so that it can pass to your spouse as seamlessly as possible. In states that allow same-sex marriage – and some civil-union states – that may mean putting both of you on

the deed to your home as “tenants by the entirety,” which gives your home protection against your spouse’s creditors. In states that do not recognize same-sex marriage, “joint tenants with rights of survivorship” may be the best you can do.

5. Evaluate your need for long-term care insurance.

Would the prospect of your or your partner’s prolonged illness leave your financial or housing situation vulnerable? While Medicaid rules vary by state, they usually require someone 65 or older to spend down their assets for care until he or she can qualify for Medicaid’s long-term care coverage.

Because heterosexual married couples may file a claim as a couple, they are not required to impoverish the healthy spouse before qualifying. In a state that does not recognize same-sex unions, however, there is no allowance for the healthy spouse’s living expenses.

As a result, a prolonged illness could force you to empty your joint financial accounts or sell a jointly owned home to support the ailing spouse.

6. Get your end-of-life documents in order. Do you

have the legal authority to care for your partner or vice-versa? What medical and end-of-life decisions do you wish to have made on your behalf?

Because the laws are different in every state, speak with an attorney in your state who has experience working with same-sex couples.

Caring Connections, a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, provides free resources and information to help people make decisions about end-of-life care and services before a crisis occurs.

AARP also provides free advance directive forms and instructions for each state.

To use AARP’s free retirement decisionmaking resources, visit www.AARP.org/ readyforretirement. v

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& Love is...

Ageless Written by Brent Peterson Photography by Steve Truesdell

With recent victories in the Supreme Court concerning DOMA and Prop 8, the LGBT community has much to celebrate. The current and younger generations of LGBT youth, fortunately, won’t know the incredible hardships that the older generations had to deal with. It can be easy to forget those that came before. With the Silver Issue, we wanted to highlight a few couples that experienced firsthand the struggles of being together in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and how they persevered and remain stronger than ever. v

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August 2013

&

Bruce Yampolsky Terry Garrett Q: How long have you two been together?

BT: We’ve been together for 27 years on October

18.

Q: What was the first date you two went on?

BT: Our first date together was at a primarily gay

restaurant named Michael’s on Park Avenue in Lafayette Square. To this day, we still laugh about our food being undercooked!

Q: What is your secret to a successful, lasting relationship?

BT: Our secret to a successful relationship is to love and respect one another unconditionally. Sometimes, it was difficult and we wanted to run away or give up, but there’s always a give and take. We developed the relationship and learned from our mistakes. We stood by each other. As partners.

Q: In your opinions, what is the biggest change you’ve seen in the LGBT community?

BT: In the early years of our relationship, we watched many of our friends succumb to AIDS. Thankfully, that occurs much less frequently today.

Society is much more educated and progressive when it comes to LGBT issues. We both served in the Armed Forces, and the changes to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, as well as the rulings on DOMA and Prop 8 make us very proud.

Q: What is the biggest hurdle you’ve overcome in your relationship?

BT: We overcame two hurdles during our relationship. One was dealing with unfounded accusations that were untrue, and the other was losing a business.

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&

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August 2013

&

Christine Barb Kelly-Cox Q: How long have you two been together?

CB: We celebrated our 40th anniversary on June 29 this year.

Q: What was the first date you two went on?

Barb: It was mutual love at first sight. We met in

college on a softball camping trip. We were alone, and I grabbed her hand and that was it. We took a walk, and have been together since.

Q: What is your secret to a successful, lasting relationship?

Barb: We base our relationship on honesty, respect and communication. You’ve got to be happy with where you are and what you’ve got.

Christine: A basic foundation of trust and values is

really important. We also try to keep things fresh with our sex life, which is important as well.

Q: In your opinions, what is the biggest change you’ve seen in the LGBT community?

Barb: The biggest change is the visibility aspect.

You’ve got people like Rachel Maddow, Ellen, Neil Patrick Harris and Anderson Cooper. All these people are in the public eye and it’s made being gay less of a taboo.

Christine: I’d agree that visibility is the biggest change. Nowadays, people aren’t identified by being gay or lesbian, it’s a lot more about who they are as a person. That’s changed since we were first together.

Q: What is the biggest hurdle you’ve overcome in your relationship?

CB: Our biggest hurdle was concealing our sexuality.

We were both teachers in the same school district. We were together a lot and students would ask us if we were sisters. We’d always say that we were and that Barb was adopted. Now, we keep in contact with many former students who are very supportive of us. The school district was also very supportive.

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&

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August 2013

&

Diana DeWeese Cat Schmidt Q: How long have you two been together?

DC: It was 40 years in February.

Q: What was the first date you two went on?

Cat: Our first “date” would’ve been when Diana interviewed

me for a job. She needed a babysitter to take care of her twoand three-year-olds, and I came from a family of 11, so I knew how to take care of little kids.

Diana: We ended up spending a lot of time together, and soon I became interested in her. The rest is history!

Q: What is your secret to a successful, lasting relationship?

DC: Our secret would be to commit entirely to the other

person and to the relationship. We’ve had struggles—every couple does—and you need to tell yourself, in your heart, that it’s worth it to work it out.

Q: In your opinions, what is the biggest change you’ve seen in the LGBT community?

Cat: I think the evolution of drag is a huge deal for me. I was performing as Mr. Mitch in drag shows years ago around the time Michelle McCausland was fighting for the right to dress in drag. When I was doing drag, you could be arrested for lewd and lascivious conduct. Since then, it’s become almost commonplace.

Diana: In addition to drag’s evolution, I’d say the visibility is a

huge triumph. The decisions by the Supreme Court concerning DOMA and Prop 8 are huge. Being honest and promoting education about sexuality is important in staying visible.

Q: What is the biggest hurdle you’ve overcome in your relationship?

Diana: It was a big deal to me when my ex-husband took me to court trying to get custody of my kids. He was an alcoholic and was an unfit father. In the end, I barely won the case because, back then, the court felt that being a lesbian just barely outweighed being an alcoholic in terms of raising kids. I just spoke a little better than he did at court. It was a close call.

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August 2013

Making a Difference

Written by Denny Patterson

Prime Timers of St. Louis primetimersstl.org

The Prime Timers of St. Louis is a local chapter of Prime Timers Worldwide that offers mature gay and bisexual men and their significant others the opportunity to come together in a supportive atmosphere to enjoy social, educational and recreational activities. Prime Timers Worldwide currently has more than 7,500 members in over 80 chapters across North America, Europe and Australia.

Prime Timers was founded by retired Boston professor Woody Ballwin in 1987.

Due to society drooling over youth and the marginalization of older gay men, Ballwin decided to do something about it. He put an ad in the Boston paper and rallied his friends to help create this new organization. Its growth spread like wild fire throughout the United States.

The social needs of the aging gay and bisexual man needed to be addressed.

Members create a full agenda filled with events and activities.

They strive to ensure a variety of affordable events such that every member can find interesting activities to participate in. A vital mission is for each and every member to enjoy friendship and fellowship with each other. Some of the activities Prime Timers host include monthly brunches, potlucks, game nights, local trips to points of interest, outdoor activities and out of town trips.

Prime Timers is not a religious or political organization, but is concerned with the impact that social, economic and political changes have on aging gay and bisexual men. They hold monthly membership meetings on certain educational themes. If interested in joining, go to

primetimersstl.org and follow the instructions under “Join Prime Timers.”

Part of Prime Timer’s mission is to increase the organization’s visibility and expand membership. Members actively recruit new members at events such as PrideFest and often partner with other LGBT organizations on issues of common interest.

Old Lesbians Organizing for Change oloc.org

Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC) is a national network of lesbians over 60 years old working to confront ageism in LGBT communities throughout the country. The organization uses education and public disclosure as primary tools.

but especially older lesbians and to make their presence a visible force in the women’s movement and LGBT community.

OLOC is committed to addressing what it means to be old and to be a lesbian, finding ways to gather groups of old lesbians together for ongoing support, working against all oppressions that affect old lesbian and standing in solidarity with allies for racial, economic and social justice.

The reason OLOC uses the word “Old,” a word commonly disliked among elderly individuals, is because OLOC is trying to lessen the fear of aging and to challenge the demeaning euphemisms, scorn, invisibility and expendability normally associated with the word “Old.” OLOC welcomes the benefits of age and values the wide lesbian experience and deep women’s knowledge.

To support OLOC’s mission, OLOC also works to develop and distribute educational material, facilitate formation of new groups and stimulate existing groups to confront ageism, takes stands on issues that affect all people,

The national organization is directed by a Steering Committee that works to form and support local groups who will work in their own communities.

The Steering Committee publishes a quarterly newsletter, The Reporter, and

produced biennial National Gatherings where hundreds of members come together to share experiences and ideas and recharge energies for the tasks at hand.

OLOC encourages Regional Gatherings and local chapters operating independently in their own communities. Members love sharing wisdom, experience, strengths and laughs among themselves and the community.

If interested in joining OLOC, go to their website, oloc.org, and you can download a current registration form or registering online. v

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Bert

Coleman

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August 2013

A Life of

Activism >>

Written by Denny Patterson Photography by Andrea Piamonte and Darin Slyman When you hear the word “activism,” what do you think of?

Standing up for the little people? Going against the man? Making a difference? These might be true, but activism is a lot more to those who actually pursue it. Vital VOICE would like to highlight four of St. Louis’ top LGBT activists who have dedicated their time and effort to making this city extra special. v

B

>>

ert Coleman is a St. Louis icon whose life revolves around music and activism.

He has been involved with Equality Across America, St. Louis Effort for AIDS, AEA and numerous others.

Coleman’s activism began while he was in college, but influences began at home.

When Coleman moved to New York in the 1970s, he earned roles in Broadway shows including Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar. While he was performing, the AIDS epidemic hit New York. That was when Coleman decided to become extremely active. While still in New York, he got a job with Disco hitmaker, Polydor Records which gained him entry to New York’s nightlife. He later worked for various record labels which promoted famous musicians/singers such as Stevie Wonder and Diana Ross.

Due to the music industry being one of the first to be impacted by AIDS, Coleman was one of the founders of LIFEbeat – The Music Industry Fights

AIDS. He worked with the Gay Men’s Health Crisis and held high profile benefits in New York.

“So many of my friends had died,” he said. “People I knew in showbiz and on Broadway, they constantly died.

Something had to be done about it.”

Coleman continued his activism in California where he worked on the first Radio sponsored AIDS DanceA-Thon with Powr106 and Madonna.

In 1990, he joined David Mixner and thousands of LGBT citizens in marching against Gov. Pete Wilson.

When returning to St. Louis, Coleman was one of the co-founders of the local chapter of the Human Rights Campaign Fund and served as cochair for their Black Tie Gala. He has also worked with Pride St. Louis, served as the first Restaurant Chair for Dining Out for Life and served on the Executive Steering Committee of 2009’s National Equality March where he was put in charge of selecting the official March song and helped organizing the HIV/AIDS Vigil and Candlelight Memorial at the Ellipse.

Coleman’s activism was acknowledged at the 19th Annual St. Louis Dinner Gala on Sept. 17, 2011 where he received the Individual Equality Award.

“I was honored, truly honored to win the award.”

Unfortunately, about a month after the Gala, Coleman suffered a stroke that left him partially immobile. Although the stroke might have slowed him down, he won’t let it ruin his life. He remains in high spirits, but misses the life he used to live. He currently resides at NHC Healthcare in Town and Country.

“It gets so lonely in here,” he said.

“I feel like I’ve been forgotten. You should never forget your friends – always stay in touch with them. It’s very important.”

Earlier this summer, Coleman was honored by SAGE Metro St. Louis with the 2013 Dennis W. Hostetler Advocate of the Year Award.

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John

Sweet

J

ohn Sweet is the administer of a private family non-profit called the William A. Kerr Foundation.

The organization’s mission is to fund and help groups committed to projects gearing towards the improvement of education, enriching the environment and promoting health and accessibility.

Sweet has been an administer of the foundation for 14 years, and he says that there are three basic groups the organization donates to: local area projects, environmental projects and LGBT rights groups.

>>

Sweet doesn’t really consider himself an activist, but just a supporter. In his youth, he participated in the 1963 March on Washington and has always been fairly pro-change for greater human rights and equality.

“I guess I’ve always had a kind of thinking that there should be fairness and I kind of believe in self-sufficiency,” Sweet said. “We have to be allowed to be self-sufficient by not putting barriers up to subjugate. Now I can—I’ve got the time in some ways of disposing money to causes and I’m enjoying it.”

Sweet first started devoting time to activism in the mid-1980s when he went to some meetings at psychiatric conventions with LGBT psychiatrists.

This is the moment where he became more socially gay. It was also around this time that Sweet and his children began walking in and attending LGBT pride parades and events. The more open he became, the more he got involved. When asked about some of

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August 2013

the challenges he faced, Sweet says there aren’t many.

“Maybe some people are turned off a bit, or don’t know how to deal with me,” he explained. “But those aren’t the kind of people I would hang around anyway. I can’t say that I haven’t lost good friends or family. If I’m being discriminated against, it’s subtle because I don’t notice it.”

Sweet has been honored/recognized

by PFLAG, the association of LGBT psychiatrists, SAGE and the Gateway Men’s Chorus. One of his most memorable moments happened around 10 years ago when he helped produce a documentary with LGBT psychiatrists on the harm and effectiveness of

reparative therapy.

“All of these recognitions are nice, but it’s not about me. It’s about the cause and getting things done,” he said.

As for the Sweet’s future, he will just stay supportive like he is.

“I’m old and I’m beginning to realize my energy level and tolerance for things isn’t as it used to be,” he concluded.

“So, I don’t have any immediate plans for any kinds of change. My children will get to take over my part of the running if I die or quit. So far, I’m enjoying it enough and it pays me some. I’ll just likely do it until something comes up and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

E

>>

ugene Potchen-Webb considers himself a silent activist. For most of his adult life, Webb has been doing all he can do to educate the people around him about the needs and desires of LGBT people on a very personal, one-on-one type of way.

As Webb sees it, LGBT folks desire the very same things that everyone else does, along with the desire to be complete and respected as citizens of this country.

“When I first started attending LGBT Pride, in the early 1980s, my understanding of the event was that it was an act of activism, and that we would only have to do it until it was unnecessary to do it anymore,” he said. “I have since learned that the real activism, that makes the most change happen, goes on in the State House, in city hall chambers and through one-onone contact with “the powers that be.”

Webb is currently a well-known member of SAGE Metro St. Louis – an organization making aware about the needs of LGBT individuals as they age, as well as providing resources for the aging LGBT community. Webb has been involved with SAGE since the planning phase in late 2007 and early 2008. Positions held include being a founding board member, secretary and most recently being the program/ outreach assistant.

Webb plans to continue the work that SAGE has started for as long as he is able to and for as long as there is work to be done. He is extremely devotional to his work and the motivation will always be there.

“What keeps me motivated are the rapid changes that are happening right now, in the entire world, regarding LGBT rights,” he concluded. “The most significant one that I always think of, is the Veteran’s

Administration and its commitment to treat all of its veterans with dignity and respect. I figure that if they can come along, then anyone can!”

Potchen-

Webb

A lot of satisfaction comes from his involvement with SAGE because it helps him keep more aware of the current state of affairs in regard to LGBT rights, as well as keeping on top of the areas that still need work. When it comes to challenges, Webb has faced a few throughout his life.

“I’m not alone in facing the challenges of aging in the LGBT community, as well as in the community at large,” he offered. “I also face the challenges of being a transman, and seeking acceptance as simply Eugene within the community. I am always aware of whether or not I am in the company of people who knew me prior to transition, and whether or not they have taken it upon themselves to out me to others.

I’m cool with being an out transman, and trans educator, but I want to be sure that people know that there is more to Eugene than just being trans.”

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Woodruff

>>

B

arbara Woodruff has spent over 50 years of her life dedicated to activism. It began as a child following her grandmother who was the Democratic Committeewoman in what is now known as the Benton Park area. But her LGBT activism didn’t start until the HIV/AID epidemic plagued the community.

“My friends, people I loved began to get sick and die and no one was listening, no one was paying attention, no one was doing anything about it,” Woodruff said. “Like so many in the community, I realized that we had to do the necessary work to make them, at times, force them to pay attention.

We had to do something about it. We had to listen to those among us who were suffering from a disease little was known about and many were frightened of. If we didn’t, there was no one else who would.”

At the time, Woodruff lived in Los Angeles and became active in the LA Shanti Foundation as a counselor and support group facilitator. While with the Shanti Foundation, she took the position of Office Manager with another HIV/AIDS organization called Being Alive. Being Alive was the first group in the LA area founded by those affected

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August 2013

by HIV/AIDS. She was also active in the local ACT Up group and the establishment of the Los Angeles Gay Center.

Upon returning to St. Louis, Woodruff became the office manager of the Constitution Defense League in the campaign against Amendment 2 (same-sex marriage ban). After Amendment 2 passed, Woodruff realized that discrimination and bigotry existed within the LGBT community.

She then became one of the founding members of Show Me Equality.

Woodruff currently works with the Stonewall Democrat of Eastern Missouri (SDem’s) – a group of LGBT individuals who believe in the ideals and ideology of the Democratic Party. In addition to being a founding member of the organization, she is the secretary/treasurer. Woodruff is also the administrator of SDem’s Facebook, Twitter and Google Plus pages, as well being the website’s webmaster, graphics designer and event coordinator/organizer. SDem’s main mission is to build bridges between the LGBT community and other minority communities in the St. Louis region “Basically, we believe that in the

journey that is a life with the goal of equality, each oppressed community, each oppressed individual has a major role to play in that journey and that we our goals can only be achieved together,” Woodruff said.

Woodruff says that she is more of a ‘behind the scenes’ person and the work is more important than any honors. The awards come from doing a good job, the honors from organizing a successful event and recognitions comes from a thank you received.

Woodruff has been able to maintain the optimism and enthusiasm she has always had for the work – she has no plans to stop.

“When I look at the young folks in our community, the reason becomes clear to me what I have personally gained – the pride of knowing that I, in some small manner, played a part in them being able to just be who they are and hopefully made their lives even a bit better, a bit easier. Work still needs to be done, but the lives of our young people are better than it was for so many in my age group. Giving back to the community so that those who follow will be better off, have it easier is the greatest personal gain.”

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Happy Hour Series for LGBT Professionals

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Photos by Matt Kile and Zhen Xu from Out in the City, May 15, 2013, at Bixby’s at the Missouri History Museum.

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SAGE & its Partners

Written by Matt Jamieson

One of the wonderful things SAGE does for the LGBT elders of St. Louis is their partnership with local area health care services, to help better serve the community’s needs. Through this partnership, SAGE has opened up a vast network of resources with various health care providers in St. Louis. Here are four agencies that have partnered with SAGE to better LGBT senior life. v

St. Andrew’s Resources for Seniors System standrews1.com For the past 50 years, St. Andrew’s has been the place where seniors, their families and caregivers find answers.

Created in 1961, St. Andrew’s is expert at serving both older adults and their caregivers. They operate with a vision of a society where all elders are respected, productive, secure, and fulfilled, and a mission of empowering elders and their caregivers through choices and options fostering a vital life.

Whether it’s occasional help allowing a senior to remain independent at home, a comfortable retirement residence that feels like home, or an assisted living or skilled nursing facility, St. Andrew’s can provide whatever you need.

They are able to assist seniors at all income levels with various services such as retirement living, assisted living, skilled care, Alzheimer’s/Dementia special care and home health. In partnership with St. Luke’s Hospital, they also offer Senior Solutions, such as supportive services, geriatric care management and a corporate eldercare program known as “The Caring Workplace.” St. Andrew’s Management Service is also available for high quality, cost efficient services for clients who want to serve their elders through housing community service and healthcare.

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August 2013

BJC Hospice bjchospice.org Sometimes, we must make the choice to help our loved ones manage their pain when a diagnosis is terminal.

BJC Hospice’s team of health care professionals provide symptom and pain management to persons who have been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, and whose prognosis is measured in months rather than years. Care can be provided at home, in the hospital, or in a long term care facility. Another great thing is that BJC Hospice staff have received training and education from SAGE regarding LGBT issues, and SAGE continues to be a resource for staff, patients and their families. BJC’s services include the alleviation of physical, emotional, social, and spiritual distress related to a person’s terminal illness. They have an extensive bereavement program for children, teens, and adults. BJC Hospice’s staff advocates for LGBT patients and their families in order to insure comfort, dignity, and respect.

They also stress to begin conversations with your physician, family, and friends regarding your wishes for end of life care. Documenting your wishes in Health Care Directives, especially appointing a trusted individual as your Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions is very helpful.

BJC Hospice social workers are available for informational visits, to assist individuals with clarifying their goals of care, and to assist with health care directives.

MERIT Home Health Care

Bethesda Health

facebook.com/merithomehealthcare Serving, St. Louis, St. Charles, St. Peters and O’Fallon, MERIT Home Health Care offers a full range of non-medical care for those who require assistance to maintain their independence. MERIT’s relationship with SAGE began when they realized they had very similar missions and could reach out to seniors in a residential setting to educate on topics relevant to them. MERIT promotes “aging in place”, allowing individuals to remain their own home even when it has become too much for them to manage personally. “Aging in place” is a big deal for members of the LGBT community who are afraid of having to “go back into the closet”, fearing discrimination or abuse if they are placed in a nursing facility. MERIT is committed to providing quality care with compassion and respect to everyone. MERIT — owned by Lydia Killoran and her partner Stephanie Powers, believe in building community, especially through outreach.

Aside from personal in-home care, MERIT offers educational & entertainment programs by partnering with other great agencies. They will continue to work with SAGE, developing new programs relevant to the senior and disabled and are already exploring new topics.

bethesdahealth.org Bethesda has been servicing the living, care and service needs of St. Louis seniors and their families since 1889. They have been named among the “Top 50 Businesses in St. Louis Shaping Our Future” by the St. Louis Regional Chamber six of the last seven years.

They are also proud to be a referral source available to SAGE when meeting with members of the senior LGBT community and/or their families. Bethesda is comprised of five independent living communities, one assisted living community and three long-term care communities that offer skilled nursing and rehab & therapy care. All three longterm care communities have a dedicated Memory Care area specifically for residents living with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, and all three are accredited by the internationally renowned Joint Commission.

Bethesda also provides a number of community based service offerings, including home health, two adult day care programs, an outpatient therapy center and hospice care program. Bethesda also offers its very successful Certified Geriatric Care Management program to people who have questions about the opportunities available to their senior loved one or who need help just knowing how and where to start.

These four healthcare providers are just a small sampling of the services that SAGE offers to elders in the LGBT community. Visit their website: www.sagemetrostl.org for more information on the other programs they offer.

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August 2013

contact: vv@thevitalvoice.com 314.256.1196

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SEP. 6 6-9 PM

Join HRC St. Louis on September 6th at BRENNAN’S for our First Friday Happy Hour.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) hosts First Fridays at a new, fun place every month.

Everyone is welcome to this FREE event bring your friends and make new ones. We'll see you on September 6th from 6 pm - 9 pm.

Find HRC St Louis on Facebook and stlouis.hrc.org for more info.

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Q&A

with

Written by DJ JIMMY NO SHOW “Should we keep this PG?” Nick Noonan, one-half of Karmin, jokes. I’d just asked them what else they are good at breaking, besides hearts. The pop duo’s song “Brokenhearted” was one of those inescapable summer songs in 2012, and now they’re back with a new single, Acappella.

Amy Heidemann, the other part of the Karmin formula explains, “We’ve just got a new place in Los Angeles and I’ve broken a lot of things in there already. I broke a light fixture the other day.” Nick adds, “I broke a dish by washing them.” “Three Dishes!” Amy quickly corrects.“Apparently I’m a violent washer.” Both are instantly charming; a requirement for any bona fide pop star. Oh, and it’s worth mentioning that Nick seems to have figured out a way to get out of doing dishes for the rest of his life.

We were just watching the new video for “Acapella.” I love how different the song is from anything else out there right now. How did you come up with it?

Nick: We were looking around YouTube for something unorthodox and came across Anna Kendrick’s “Cups” clip. She’s playing the cup and just singing. We thought it would be fun to do something like that, where we start with just our mouths, beat boxing, and then we came up with the theme: I can do it acapella. I can do it by myself.

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August 2013

KARMIN Well, I have to say the video came out great. How was the filming of it?

Amy: Oh boy! “Acapella” is our favorite video we have made so far. We got to help write the treatment. We’re really obsessed with the 90’s – Missy Elliot, TLC, Destiny’s Child, Busta Rhymes – so we pretty much were just going for that whole aesthetic.

Speaking of the 90’s, while watching the music video for “Acapella” I couldn’t help but notice a similarity between you both and Gwen & Tony from No Doubt.

Amy: Being compared to them is really flattering!

Nick: That is really cool.

Amy: Normally it’s Sonny and Cher! [Laughs] And you’ll be in St. Louis soon to perform with Nelly! Can you tell us a little bit about your stage show?

Amy: (Still sincerely flattered by the compliment.) We get a lot of those No Doubt references, now that I think about it. It’s very high energy. We jump around a lot. I do weird dance moves.

We yell a lot. The audience yells a lot. There’s a lot of singing back and fourth, with crowd participation. We still do a couple of cover songs – like the Busta

column Rhymes song. Sometimes we have a guest come up to join us, which is hilarious.

Does that mean Nelly may be your guest on stage for a song?

Amy: Aw! I wish. We met him at the BET Awards a couple of years ago. We’re going to try and work something out.

As you mentioned, you got your start doing YouTube covers but your first single was “Brokenhearted.”

Amy: Yeah, we got to work with

a guy named Claude Kelly. He wrote Domino by Jessie J and has worked with Britney. He’s just an amazing pop writer and a really great friend of ours.

We have a local drag queen here in St. Louis (Krista Versace) who is pretty fond of performing your song “Brokenhearted.”

Amy: Aw! We love that.

Nick: She needs to do “Acapella.”

Amy: Yeah! Get her updated.

She totally missed “Hello” too, which topped the club charts!

Amy: I think we’re really lucky that the dance world took a liking to us. I don’t know if we would consider our music totally dance; it’s more pop with a little bit of hip-hop, so it’s pretty amazing that we get to experience that. We’ve been invited to a lot of clubs and Nick and I don’t really know what to do when we get to club. We just kind of start twerking and doing as many shots as possible.

Nick: In the shortest amount of time.

Amy: So it’s been fun! We’ve been introduced to a lot of new amazing artists through that and also just an amazing lifestyle. People who love dance music, it seems like they live it up all the time.

And there you have the key to being a successful pop star: tweking and shots!

Krista, see me about a copy of the new Karmin single, “Acapella.” Everyone else can download it on iTunes, or as Nick sang during our interview “CHEEEEEECK IT OUUUUUT!” I melted. It’s a breath of fresh air in times when artists seem to be taking the safe route with 2009 recycled RedOne productions - I’m looking at you Jason Derulo. You can catch Karmin live on stage August 3rd at The Pageant with Nelly. v [DJ Jimmy No Show spins on the patio at Just John every Sunday, as well as at Showtunes Tuesday at Hamburger Mary’s. He is also co-host of Double Trouble Trivia with Trixie LaRue at Hamburger Mary’s.]

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August Playdates Queens in Space: A LGBT center of St. louis fundraiser Moonrise Hotel in the Delmar Loop The Moonrise Hotel and Vital VOICE Magazine proudly presents an out of this world event: Queens in Space: A LGBT Center of St. Louis Fundraiser. Come out and join some of St. Louis’ favorite drag queens for a spectacular party that could only take place at the Moonrise Hotel.

Making a special appearance will be national Club Kid legend Zander Mander. Raffles and drawings will take place, and a $5 suggested donation includes a complimentary drink.

Honda Civic Tour Featuring Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson and Rozzi Crane – Thurs. 8/1 Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Maryland Heights, MO http://www.livenation.com/events/235138/aug-1-2013/honda-civictour-featuring-maroon-5 Get ready for a night of pop as Maroon 5 headlines the Verizon stage alongside former American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson. This is surely a show you will not want to miss!

Backstreet Boys – Sat. 8/3 Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Maryland Heights, MO http://www.ticketmaster.com/Backstreet-Boys-tickets/artist/781254 The 90s are BACK as the Backstreet Boys come together for their reunion tour right here in the St. Louis area. These boys have turned to men, and they are hotter than ever! Get your tickets now, because seats are filling aup fast!

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Playd/a/tes

West Side Story - 8/5-8/11 The Muny www.themuny.org West Side Story is considered one of today’s greatest love stories of all time.

An American take on Romeo and Juliet, this historic collaboration of Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim has created a musical tragedy that’s as sharp as a switchblade knife. Hear some of your favorite songs such as “Maria” and “I Feel Pretty” and enjoy the night. Performances begin at 8:15 p.m. and tickets range from $12 - $80.

Bruno Mars with Ellie Goulding – Thurs. 8/8 Scott Trade Center http://www.ticketmaster.com/Bruno-Mars-tickets/artist/1466801 For one night only, come see Bruno Mars and Ellie Goulding light up the stage at the Scott Trade Center. Tickets range from $48-$100, and they will be sold out in no time!

St. Louis Black Pride - 8/15 – 8/18 Kiener Plaza, St. Louis, MO www.st-louisblackpride.org

Come on out to Kiener Plaza to celebrate Black Pride’s 14th year. This is an organization that is non-profit whose primary goal is to assist the members of the Black and minority communities in overcoming diversity. This year’s theme is: “Unity in the Community.” St. Louis Black Pride wants more than an annual celebration, but a driving force behind the display and appreciation of the diverse cultures that make up all of the St. Louis LGBT communities. The weekend will kick off with a Bayard Rustin Centennial Celebration and open house at Rustin’s Place.

Miss Gay Illinois, America Pageant – Fri. 8/23 – Sat. 8/24 Fairview Heights, IL http://www.missgayillinois.com/ Join Miss Gay America Sally Sparkles and Miss Gay Illinois Dayonna Hilton and an array of contestants vying for the Land of Lincoln’s celebrated female impersonation pageant. Both the winner and the first alternate of Miss Gay Illinois America will go on to compete at the national pageant in the STL this fall.

Reserved seating is $25; general admission $15.

Japanese Festival presented by Wells Fargo Advisors – Sat. 8/31 – Mon. 9/2 Missouri Botanical Garden Since 1977, the Missouri Botanical Garden has produced a annual Japanese Festival in conjunction with the Japanese Activities Committee. Celebrating the Japan’s people, history and culture, this festival is one of the largest and oldest of its kind in the United States. The festival will be from 10 a.m. – 8 p.m. on 8/31 and 9/1, but will only be held from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. on 9/2. Admission is $15 for ages 13 and older, $5 for children ages 3-12 and $5 for Garden members (free for members’ children 3-12).

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&

Scene

Styling

Photography by Mikey Berner

Chino Lozada, Tyler Polley & Tabitha Giselle Sexton at Attitudes

David Rantz & Larry Davis at St. Louis PRIDE 2013

Terry Buchanan & Ja’Corey B Minez at Novaks

Shawn Michael Porter & Robbie Nattier at Just John 48

August 2013

Juli Adams & Ashlee Sanning at 2720 Cherokee

Scene & Styling

Gary Goldberg & Martin Ramey at Envy

Antonio Nunez, Tracy Bridges Moore & Dan Burgess at honey.

Nicole Lyerla and Kyler Carter at Rehab

Jake Schenck, Jake Harman & Samantha Parker at The Grove

Willam Belli & John Simoneau at Hamburger Mary’s Eric Hammond & T ara Fischer at honey.

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August 2013

Queens Moonrise HOtel

Saturday, Aug. 10th

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Benefiting the

hosted by

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starring