December 2012

December 2012

s e s n e i t l d ra a b e e l h e T c B E G C L I is O u V o l L a . t t S Vi f o r a e y a

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December, 2012

As The Presses

Roll…

Welcome to the HoliGAY issue where we celebrate the season and recap the queer year. From features to SPREAD – I hope you find this issue as engaging as we do. We have much to celebrate as a community and enter 2013 basking in a political sea change.

In last month’s editor’s letter I wrote that I hoped our community would turn out in record numbers to make our voices heard on Nov. 6th. Well, we did it – and we joined in making a difference.

According to the Human Rights Campaign, president Obama’s national popular vote margin was 3,305,710 votes. As 5 percent of the electorate (personally, I think this number is much higher), 6,043,599 lesbian, gay and bisexual people voted overall, favoring the president with 77 percent of their votes, equaling 4,593,136 people. Make sure to read A.J. Bockelman’s brilliant recap of the 2012 vote in “Political Voice.”

Also check out my interview with St. Louis Board of Aldermen president and mayoral candidate, Lewis Reed. Our community has a difficult choice in choosing between two allies for Room 200 this spring.

I also need to take this time to apologize for a mistake we made last issue. We inadvertently referred to our friends at Mango as a Brazilian restaurant. They are, of course, Mango Peruvian Cuisine – a celebrated and award winning restaurant that has really stepped up to show their support for the LGBT community this past year. We were delighted to co-host “Out in the City” at Mango, Nov. 14 and encourage you to patronize this fine establishment. Mistakes happen – but as head of editorial, I take full responsibility and have implemented a new proofing process starting this issue.

I wish you the happiest of holidays and a brilliant New Year.

In Pride,

Colin Murphy, Executive Editor

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this

N ISSUE

Volume 13, Issue 12

21.

On the COVER: Vital VOICE celebrates 2012 with an omage to the many entertainer and event encounters throughout the year. Design by Darin Slyman.

The Vital VOICE Team

Darin Slyman CEO/Publisher dsly@thevitalvoice.com

Colin Murphy Executive Editor/Senior Writer colinm@thevitalvoice.com Matt Jamieson Writer mattj@thevitalvoice.com

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23.

Jeff Kapfer Art Director JeffKapfer@gmail.com Leon Braxton/Dieta Pepsi Business Manager Dieta@thevitalvoice.com

46.

Jimmy Lesch PR/Digital Communications Jimmy@thevitalvoice.com Janae Johnson Business Assistant janae@thevitalvoice.com Alex Galindo Photographer alex@thevitalvoice.com

Contributors

Photography: Darin Slyman, Alex Galindo, Robert Dillard, Thiago Martins de Magalhães, Matt Jamieson, Leon A. Braxton, Jr., Linton Johnson and DNC Writing: Colin Murphy, Matt Jamieson, Alex Galindo, Thiago Martins de Magalhães, Leon A. Braxton, Jr., Chris Andoe, Pam Schneider and A.J. Bockelman

Advisory Board

William A. Donius, Thom Halter, Colin Murphy, Jay Perez, Pam Schneider, Kellie Trivers, Sharon Tucci.

Contact

Vital VOICE Magazine.

4579 Laclede Ave #268. Saint Louis, MO 63108 VitalVOICEmag@gmail.com 314.256.1196

Advertising

vv@thevitalvoice.com

Online

thevitalvoice.com facebook.com/TheVitalVOICE twitter.com/VitalVOICEmag youtube.com/TheVitalVISION 6 |

December, 2012

Stay Connected with us

26.

8.

8. Online@theVitalVOICE.com 11. Lewis Reed.

15. We Came, We Saw, We Conquered. 21. Linton Johnson – Full Frontal.

23. This Is Me. 26. The Holiday Survival Guide. 28. A Brazilian In St. Louis.

30. Political Voice. 35. 2012: A Queer Review. 38. The Iron Bartender.

41. Adria Andrews. 44. Madonna Christens The StL. 46. Playdates.

46. The Gay & Lesbian Couple’s Guide To Home Buying. 48. Scene & Styling.

Vital VOICE is printed on recycled newspaper and uses soy ink for a 100% recyclable product.

theVitalVOICE.com | 7

ONLINE @ thevitalvoice.com DIDN’T LOG ON? HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED!

First elected in 2008, Missouri

Stacy Newman (D-ST. Louis Stacy Newman: county) was firstDay elected Quilt Commemorates World AIDS to the Missouri House of In the Fight Representatives in 2009, serving the 73rd District, representing Clayton, Richmond Heights and parts of Ladue. Newman has made great strides as the leader of the House Progressive Caucus and is a great ally for the LGBT community in the Missouri House. Vital VOICE recently caught up with Rep. Newman to talk about the race, her record in the House and her unwavering support In honor of World AIDS Day, Dec 1, the for St. the Louis chapter LGBT communities in of The Names Project brought displays ofMissouri.

The AIDS

Memorial Quilt to St. Louis. Fifteen displays were located at various places throughout the city from Nov. 20-29.

The biggest display of 82 panels was held in the lobby of the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park. Other Actor and human rights locations included UMSL, Lindenwood University and advocate Brad Maryville University.

Names founded in Pitt’s mother OhThe Yes SheProject Did!was penned on anti-gay edito1987 by Cleve Jones.

rial that appeared in the Springfield News-Leader on Tuesday, July 3. Vital VOICE was the first news outlet to Vital VOICE Columnist Nominated for break the news on Thursday morning — confirming — then Lambda and Stonewall Book Awards re confirming from NewsLeader reporters that Pitt’s mother authored the ltter, published under “Reader’s Letters.” Jane Pitt write in response to a previously published letter to the editor titled “Vote for Mormons Against Beliefs.”

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December, 2012

new 80th District. Colona is one of four openly gay members of the Missouri General Assembly which includes term limited state senate candidate Rep. Jeanette Mott Oxford (D-57 St. Louis), Sen. Jolie Justus (D-10-Kansas City) - and newly out Rep. Zach Wyatt (R-03-Kirksville), not seeking reelection. Vital VOICE recently chatted with Colona onTucson-based the race, his record and Liz LaVenture interviews transgender the future of LGBT legislation singer-songwriterk, Namoli Brennet – who has been in Missouri.

touring since the release of her debut CD in 2002, “Boy In A Dress”. The soulful songstress has been described by critics as “gorgeous and introspective” and was The St.winning Louis Balloon featured in the Emmy Award documentary Out Balloon Brigade Junestruggles In The Silence - which dealt withannounced, a gay youth’s Presents 30 Brennet their donation of $1,320 growing up in rural Penn. performed for St. Louis to PAWS (Pets Are Wonerful Donation to audiences at a concert sponsored

by The LGBT Center of Support), a program of St.PAWS Louis, Oct. 18 at O’Shay’s in The Grove.

St. LouisPub Effort for AIDS. The money was collected

at ST. Louis PrideFest and Tajma Stetson Crowned Missouri the recent Gateway Men’s Chorus Concert. Paws Entertainer of the Year stated that the donation will take care of roughy 10% of the pets they currently have on their roster. It takes an average $300 per pet annually to feed and manage their vet bills. Paws relies 100% on donations to fund this vital service.

October 2012

Curtis Comer is one of our own, and he’s getting national recognition for the incredible work that he has done with (Not Quite) Out to Pasture. His poignant, touching and wonderfully real short stories about being gay and middle-aged – many published right here in Vital VOICE – have been enjoyed by so many. It is no surprise that (Not Quite) Out to Pasture has been presented for consideration for the Lambda Literary® and the Stonewall Israel Fishman Non-fiction® Awards.

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Miniority Whip Mike Mike Colona:House Colona (D-67-St. Louis) find Interview: himself inBrennet a heated primary ExperienceNamoli fight with self funded businessMatters man Rio Vitale in the city’s

Kansas City’s Tajma Stetson proved triumphant at the 2013 Missouri Entertainer of the Year pageant held at the Sheldon Concert Hall, Nov. 11. First Alternate honors went to St. Louis’ Madison Elise.

Both contestants will represent The Show Me State at National Entertainer of the Year in Louisville next year.

Missouri EOY is owned and promoted by Jeff Noble (Mona Desmond) and Adrian Mason (Tuletta Pepsi).

PHOTO OF ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST BY GAVIN BOND, ILLUSTRATION BY M ACIEJ HAJNRICH

THE FABULOUS FOX THEATRE JANUARY 29 - FEBRUARY 10 Tickets: The Fox box office, 314-534-1111 & MetroTix.com theVitalVOICE.com | 9

10 | December, 2012

EST. 1991

ONE OF 10 AIN’T BAD! OUT

A look into LGBT Life- Past & Present

Lewis Reed: We’re Just Scratching the Surface Written by Colin Murphy – Editor Photography by Darin Slyman & Robert Dillard

L

ewis Reed, president of the city’s Board of Aldermen, declared his candidacy for St. Louis mayor in October kicking off his campaign with the now-viral “Lewis Reed is Running” commercial. The iconic 30-second spot depicts a solitary Reed running through empty city streets and features myriad Gateway City landmarks.

“I am somewhat surprised at the response because it’s not the typical political commercial – so it was a little bit risky,” says Reed, who was encouraged by some to do a more traditional introduction. “But just the suit and tie interview thing doesn’t represent who I am. I commute to City Hall on my bicycle and I’m a runner and that just represents me better, I think.”

With over two decades serving the people of St. Louis in elected office, civic and charitable involvement, Reed is challenging incumbent Mayor Francis Slay who is seeking an historic fourth term.

“We have a tremendous amount of assets here that I don’t think we’ve capitalized on,” offers Reed. “We continue to look back at The World’s Fair like that was our greatest time ever in the city of St. Louis. We need to take the rear view mirror out of City Hall and begin to think about what this city should be and understand that our greatest days are in front of us.”

Earlier this year, Vital VOICE sat down with Mayor Slay to discuss his joining “Mayor’s for the Freedom to Marry” and other LGBT issues. What follows is our exclusive discussion with Board president Reed – also an advocate for same-sex marriage – on his views on LGBT equality. Vital VOICE will be conducting side by side interviews with both candidates on an array of topics closer to the primary.

How did you first become aware of LGBT issues – was it through your public service or earlier in life through school, friends or family?

Much earlier. When I was younger there were cousins, aunts,

uncles and friends [who were gay]. Some of them were out, some of them weren’t. Because in the African American community – and I don’t know if it’s because of religion – but people of African American descent seem to be much less likely to come out. But ever since I was younger – I’ve never really known a time where I’ve known anything different. I can’t point to a precise time [where I became aware of LGBT issues] – it’s just always been there.

Mayor Slay deserves a lot credit for doing what’s possible “within state law” to make St. Louis very welcoming and affirming for LGBT people. Is there anything more that can be done here in the city?

I think we’re barely scratching the surface on what could be done. I think PrideFest is a great event that happens once a year that lets not jut people who may not have come out – but also the community at large know how important the LGBT community is and that it is a part of our community. I think that’s important.

But City Hall can do so much more. We have not established an official office for the LGBT community so that there is regular communications between City Hall and the LGBT community for everything from businesses to what’s happening within the departments so that we can do active recruiting. So that we can

theVitalVOICE.com | 11

make sure there are a percentage of the police officers that are from the LGBT community, a percentage of the firefighters, and so on. But when you begin to do that what you will find is that it is not just for the LGBT community, but it also helps to lower the prejudice that comes from the people that they’re working with now. I think to begin to address the division and prejudice that comes – no matter whether it’s from race or sexual orientation – is education. And when I say education – it’s exposure. I think when we do a better job of that we’re going to help the community at large.

If elected mayor, what role do you see Room 200 playing in impacting equality in an increasingly conservative state. Is there a role the mayor can play in changing things in Jefferson City?

Absolutely – the mayor sets the direction… The mayor has to make not just bold statements but he has to lead by example. That’s why it’s important to establish that office because that tells the community at large, that yes – The LGBT Community is a part of St. Louis. Other than that I can go to PrideFest once a year or if you ask me to come speak at something, I can speak at something.

But past that – what am I really doing to change this community as a whole? And until I begin to do those things to change the community as a whole like integrating departments – you’re not really doing a lot, I don’t think. So it’s important to lead by example that way. When we go to the state, if there are things that are important to the LGBT community – we need to make that part of our legislative agenda in the state and address those things.

The other thing that you’ll find by establishing this office and somebody who’s actively looking at these issues – there are cities all across America that are doing great things as it relates to the LGBT community. We don’t even know about it because we don’t have anybody who’s looking at it on a daily basis…

We talk about the brain drain in the city of St. Louis, we talk about the talent loss, we’re talking about these young folks going other places and they’re going to other places because we’re not capitalizing on our resources. And when I say resources, I’m talking about people resources. I think, like the LGBT community – we need to be proud of this city. I think that’s what it’s all about – we need to be proud of who we are as a city, we need to be proud of the diversity of the city. That’s what makes us strong.

St. Louis is increasingly becoming more diverse both racially and culturally. How do we celebrate that diversity but at the same time bring the city closer together?

First we have to recognize it and the things that we’re doing in city government. We need to understand how those things impact the community at large. Here’s an example – and this is kind of a touchy subject, so I’m going to tip toe into this – but it’s an important one to note. When the young lady was shot and killed in the Central West End a $10,000 reward was put up for any information leading to the capture of the person who shot her.

In the weeks prior to that, in the days prior to that, people were shot and murdered over in North St. Louis. Nothing said about it, right? But more importantly, if you look at the records, about two or three months earlier some dogs were found in a house in North St. Louis that were abused and a couple of them died.

There was a $10,000 reward put up for any information leading to the person that killed these dogs. So the African American community are looking at it and say, wait a minute – you put up 12 | December, 2012

$10,000 for the lady in the CWE and you put up $10,000 for the dogs – and in that exact same neighborhood where the dogs were a man was shot and killed three or four hours earlier and no reward. It’s that kind of thing that leads to the division in St. Louis and we have to be aware of that.

It’s the same in the LGBT community. When we’re looking for equity – if what the gay and lesbian community sees is inequities every time they look out that’s all they’re going to believe. So we have to be attune to those things and make sure that we address those things in the appropriate manner. When we do, we’ll see the racial tension begin to drop. It’s literally almost that basic and it also centers around policy and how you begin to address these things throughout our community. And that’s going to help us.

Last couple questions – what’s your favorite thing about St. Louis?

I like that St. Louis is a walkable community. I like our history – I like the fact that we’ve never burnt to the ground where we’ve had to rebuild so a lot of those old footprints still exist. I like that St. Louis has so many different people from so many different walks of life and the diversity in our city – and I appreciate every aspect of it.

When LGBT voters go to the polls they are going to be faced with choosing between two allies. Why should they pull the lever for Lewis Reed?

They should vote for Lewis Reed because I’m going to provide the LGBT community with real, substantive things that are going to make major sea change not just within the LGBT community but the city of St. Louis as a whole. I think we have a massive void of vision and direction in our city. I think we’re just not getting there from here. I think we continue to look at the World’s Fair, like I said, like it was our greatest days and it is not and it was not, period. The LGBT community will have not just a friend – because I have a lot of friends who do nothing for me today – but a friend that is actually going to do something and is going to do something in a bold manner. v

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We Came, We Saw, We Conquered Written & Photographed by Alex Galindo This past year, I’ve had the honor of creating SPREAD and giving the LGBT community a glimpse of fashion we can connect to. Instead of professional models – we celebrate people from within our own community that you may notice out walking the street, attending an event or sitting next to you at a bar in The Grove.

I intend to continue SPREAD into 2013 and I hope it gives you inspiration! That is, if we live to see it!

We’ve all heard the Mayan prediction. The world may (or may not) end in a number of days. Take a cue from Alexander McQueen’s women’s fall/winter collection, which had the theme, “Hope and Strength.” Women’s fashion is at a time where designers are giving it their all in color and in prints! Accentuated waistlines, boots, skirts over cropped pants and “couture” inspired looks heated up the runways.

It’s time to take out the big guns. You know those clothes you have been too scared to wear together?

What about those crazy prints or those insane high heels you have been hiding? Don’t be so worried about how the world may end. Instead, worry about how you will be dressed if it does. Go out on the town like you’re ready to conquer it! v theVitalVOICE.com | 15

Model: Ashleigh Kennedy.

Makeup: Christine Mathon.

Clothes: Neiman Marcus and Byrd Style Lounge Locations: Central West End, LGBT Community Center of St. Louis, Just Johns, The Grove.

Special Thanks: Julie Stotlar, Cheresse Pentella, Leon Braxton, John Oberkramer, James Zensen, Allyson Mace, Bee Boedeker, Rachel Harvey, Eroica Stackhouse, Bryan Linhardt and The Webster University LGBTQ Alliance

Nicole Miller Dress, Byrd. Aidan Mattox Top, Neiman Marcus. Clover Canyon Blazer, Neiman Marcus. G-Star Jeans, Byrd. Gucci Boots, Neiman Marcus Alice and Olivia Gold Woven Dress, Neiman Marcus. Burberry Leather Sleeved Navy Trench Coat, Neiman Marcus.

Sinclair Manufacturing Group Jeans, Neiman Marcus. Oscar Skirt, Byrd. Boots, Models Own. Burberry Leather Sleeved Navy Trench Coat, Neiman Marcus. Sinclair Manufacturing Group Jeans, Neiman Marcus. Oscar Skirt, Byrd. Boots, Models Own. Jovani Fashion Long Gown, Neiman Marcus Don Caster Gold Jacket, Byrd.

Clover Canyon Cami, Neiman Marcus

16 | December, 2012

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theVitalVOICE.com | 19

20 | December, 2012

Linton Johnson: Full Frontal Written by Chris Andoe Photography by Darin Slyman & Linton Johnson

In August 2011, Linton Johnson, the embattled public face of BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) received an ominous text message from the hacker group Anonymous: “You’re the party bitch of the internet.”

Hours later photos of Johnson on a gay cruise went viral, including one featuring full frontal nudity.

Linton Johnson’s been in the public eye since before he was even old enough to drink. Starting out as a fresh faced news anchor in Topeka, Kansas, he got his big break when he was hired to fill what he refers to as “the black guy slot” at KSDK in St. Louis.

He’s always been open and confident in his sexuality, and was active in the St. Louis LGBT community: “I didn’t really have to come out because I came in. I came in to who I was destined to be, and that is why I have the strength to do what I do now.”

Johnson was recruited by BART, the largest transit system west of the Mississippi, to be their chief spokesperson. Instead of appearing on one newscast nightly he’d often appear on every station in the nation’s sixth largest media market. To the public, Johnson was BART. That often wasn’t easy.

The summer of 2011 started to go off the rails when on July 3rd a BART officer shot and killed a homeless man after a confrontation. This was the third time in three years that an officer used deadly force and protests were brewing in response. On July 11th, protesters shut down the frenzied Monday evening commute beneath San Francisco. For hours, trains were held at the downtown stations by mobs of people jamming the doors and climbing on top of the cars. It took riot police to disperse the protesters and get the commute under way.

In the middle of it all was Johnson coordinating and talking to media. The

San Francisco Chronicle quoted him: “They don’t care about people who are trying to get home to their lives, trying to get home to their families.” The Chronicle also reported the angry reaction to Johnson. “As he spoke to reporters, several white protesters called Johnson, who is African American, “Uncle Tom” and a “self-conflicted blackie.”

Anonymous hackers targeted the agency, beginning with the infiltration of BART’s website. They published the personal information for thousands of riders, then days later the group accessed the BART police site and proceeded to publish the home addresses, email addresses and passwords of 102 BART officers.

In the wake of the hacking, Johnson powered down his Oakland Hills home.

No internet, no security system.

During his career he’s had his share of stalkers, including one who was so persistent and unsettling he and his partner felt the need to install a sophisticated camera system. That gave them a sense of security. Now even the cameras couldn’t be trusted.

The FBI met with senior BART officials about another major service interruption planned for August 11th, which would shut down all trains from San Francisco International to West Oakland. For several days BART officials tried to find a way to thwart the protest. While brainstorming – Johnson bounced the idea to shut off cell service in the stations just before the protest action was set to begin. BART had purchased and installed the equipment recently, and believed they had a defensible reason to temporarily disrupt service in the interest of public safety. Few outside of the agency agreed.

In the eye of the storm many aspects of Johnson’s life were collapsing at once.

A fiercely loyal company man, he was now a lightning rod for controversy – criticized locally but also in the pages of The New York Times, Washington Post and newspapers around the world. A

Taiwanese-based news program even aired an unintentionally comical animated short about the story featuring a cartoon of Johnson slamming the “off button” in his corner office. He was under siege at home. His partner was traveling extensively for business and he felt isolated and alone.

He took a few months to care for his grandmother in Arizona, downshift and regroup. He started taking stock of his health and his physical condition and made changes. He went back to work.

Today, not only is Johnson back on top of his game and in the best physical condition of his life – he has a life in balance. In the process of getting this story I got to see Johnson’s drive and determination first hand. I joined his fitness boot camp and spent many mornings racing up hills alongside him. When he’d finally sit down for a meal, he adhered to his precise diet – involving custom orders containing no salt, carbs, etc.

Johnson is tough and fearless when it comes to doing his job. He can certainly take the heat, but being targeted for his sexuality and having his privacy violated was difficult. Looking back, he’s moved by how incredible so many people were when he needed their support the most.

“I will never forget BART riders and specific Board Members, even members of the LGBT and black communities who faithfully supported me during the attacks and invasion of my privacy by Anonymous,” he said. “It was a private matter that many tried to make an even greater public ordeal than it already was.

I don’t think I could have gotten through it without such a great support system of family and friends.”

And the public’s reaction to the full frontal photo? No big deal to liberal Bay Area residents. If anything, they earned him some fans. v

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HER HRC IS BACK! Save the date,

Saturday, January 26th and join us for HER HRC at Bad Dog Bar & Grill.

This is a night for the women in our community to come out and enjoy live music, burlesque, and one of STL's favorite DJs in a great atmosphere!

Buy your tickets early (we sold out last year) online at hrc.org/herhrc and support the work of HRC.

22 | December, 2012

Introspection on being Intersex:

This is Me

Written by Leon A. Braxton, Jr. Photography courtesy Leon A. Braxton, Jr.

theVitalVOICE.com | 23

A few months ago I went to the doctor to get some Botox to keep my youthful glow –but what I received instead was a health intervention. Dr. Knight of Women’s Health Specialists of St. Louis was very concerned about my overall health and wanted to help me reach my full and fabulous potential.

After much discussion, I decided to sign up for the Medifast Weight Loss Program “Take Shape For Life.” But Dr. Knight wanted to make sure there were no medical reasons that would keep me from starting the program – so her staff came in and extracted four vials of blood. She would see me in two weeks.

On September 10, I returned to Dr. Knight’s office. She came in and her first question was, “Is there something you need to tell me?” I was like, “No, I don’t think so, why?” “Well, your testosterone levels are not in line,” she said.

She continued: “Most men have testosterone levels of 600 – 1,000.

Yours is 0.01.”

“So what does this mean?” I asked.

“I want to run some more tests and I will let you know in two weeks,” she replied.

September 24 rolled around and I again returned to Dr. Knight’s. She came in, gave me a hug and said, “Your lab work came back and you are a pseudohermaphrodite.”

WHAT??

24 | December, 2012

She went on to explain in medical terms, but all I heard was blah, blah, blah, blah until she stated, “you my friend, are intersex.”

Now that was a term I’d heard. She continued: “In your case, what makes you intersex is that your chromosomes are male but your hormones are female.”

I heard it, was processing it, but still didn’t understand. All I really knew was I needed a shot! So I took a deep breath and asked her to explain it to me one more time, slowly.

“Your secondary sex characteristic

or phenotype is different from your genotypes” she continued. “But there’s good news – because your chromosomes came back male, inside you are a boy and outside you are a girl, so there will be no need for an ultrasound.”

But there was more. Because of my hormonal makeup, I am also menopausal.

So in the time span of 15 minutes I went from being an overweight gay male to an overweight, menopausal intersexual.

I am intersex. What exactly does that mean? Being intersex generally has to do with chromosomal incongruities, i.e. XXY, XYY, YY. An intersex person may appear to be male, but have female organs from birth or they may change at puberty. They may also have secondary sexual characteristics from both sexes; a beard and breasts.

Because my testosterone levels are so low, almost non-existent, Dr. Knight

suspects my body has never produced testosterone. Basically my body is in a state of confusion and it needs to be corrected. She started talking about Hormone Replacement Therapy to correct this imbalance. Fifteen minutes in I asked about Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

She explained that TRT was a possibility – but the effects would be that I would grow facial hair and would have to shave regularly, my voice would get deeper and my features would become more masculine. Without hesitation, I said, “No! Let’s go with the female hormones. I don’t want to be that masculine!”

Whoa! Where in the hell did that come from? I had never even thought about whether I was masculine or feminine. I was always just Leon.

Each morning I now take Divigel, an estradiol gel (an estrogen hormone) that is a medication approved for treating menopause symptoms such as night sweats and hot flashes.

Further, Dr. Knight wants me get a mammogram – immediately. I’ve yet to do this because like most of America, I am uninsured. Plus, at free clinics my fear is that most of the staff aren’t the most welcoming of people and I don’t want to be judged, sneered at or questioned.

I recently experienced that when I went to get my hormone prescription filled at Walgreens. The counter nurse wanted to call my doctor because she thought I’d been given the wrong prescription. When I assured her I had not, the counter nurse

just looked at me in amazement and handed me my prescription and stated, “We have to ask all women who get this hormone: Are you pregnant?”

“No, not yet,” I replied. We both laughed.

On the 5th of every month I have to do the self-breast examine. I have breasts. I have female hormones and can get breast cancer like any other woman.

Intersex. At first I wasn’t going to tell anybody and just take this piece of information on to Glory with me. But I started thinking, why was I presented with this information about myself at this point

in my life? So I turned to the Internet to see if there was any information about intersexuality. There’s not a lot. However, I did find out I have had all the classic pseudo-hermaphroditic characteristics all of my life: micro penis, hypogonadism, mons pubis and genital ambiguity.

I started to get angry. Why wasn’t this caught when I was born in 1960 – or when I was at the pediatrician and he told my mom that “things” would correct themselves?

At 15, I remember asking Dr. Bryant why other boys’ wieners were getting bigger and mine wasn’t and why was I growing breasts like a girl? He just said to me “boys are late bloomers” or have “delayed puberty” and when I hit puberty it would “all correct itself.” I just had to be patient. Well my parents died, Dr. Bryant died and I just went on with life waiting for puberty to happen.

Little did we know in 1975 that it wasn’t puberty, it was intersexuality.

In my Internet research of intersexuality I also found out that the terms intersex and hermaphrodite are no longer acceptable terms by some experts and clinicians. Intersex is now called DSD or Disorder of Sexual Development. Personally, I don’t like DSD because I don’t feel like there is something wrong with me – so I am bringing intersex back. (Cue the Justin Timberlake song).

There used to be a national organization called Intersex Society of North America, but it disbanded in 2008 when they changed the term to DSD. There is also Intersex International (OII), which is a global advocacy group for people with intersex traits. It is the largest intersex support group

in the world. Their objective is to bring about systemic change and resist the fear, shame, secrecy and stigma imposed upon adults as well as children through both the practice of non-consensual genital surgeries and the arbitrary assignment of a particular gender without informed consultation with the individual concerned. There are also intersex organizations in United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia and South Africa.

I am not going to lie – I have had a rough time with my new found gender mosaic. I have been to see a psychiatrist about it. Not that I am going off the deep end, I just needed someone to talk to.

Sometimes I feel I am totally alone in dealing with this and have no one to lean on or make me feel like everything is going to be all right. There are times when I cry because I just don’t understand why I have to be intersex. It’s bad enough that I broke all three gay commandments: “thou shall not be fat,” “thou shall not get old” and “thou shall not do drag.” But the more I read and learn about intersexuality, the more I understand and accept it.

I have since told some close friends and they are very supportive of my idea to share my story. I think this is one of those “teachable moments.” I know that I cannot be the only intersex individual in St. Louis.

My research also pointed out that there is a strong bond between intersex and transgender people. Intersex and trans people are common allies in a struggle against the worldview of the gender binary where sex is equivalent to gender and any violation of the sex/gender binary is sin. While some intersex people identify as trans, most do not. However, some intersex people do transition at one point in their life. As of today, I have no

desire to transition. I like being Leon. But who knows what tomorrow brings.

I know I have shared a lot. Probably more than you really want to know or understand. Hell, I don’t understand it all.

To that end, I have invited Dr. Knight to come to the LGBT Center of St. Louis on Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2013 at 6 pm to have an open community discussion about intersexuality. It’s part of our alphabet. We should understand it. I am not claiming to be an expert on being intersex, nor will I go all PC on you about intersexuality or insist on having an I - Pride Parade. (But there is an Intersex Flag – a variation of the Transgender Pride Flag). I just want to pass on knowledge. As I learn, you learn. And as a community – we learn together. v Leon A. Braxton, Jr. is the Executive Director of The LGBT Center of St. Louis. theVitalVOICE.com | 25

The Holiday Survival Guide Written by Matt Jamieson – Staff Writer

Let’s face it – the holidays, while fun, are just nice big stress bombs waiting to go off – and for many in the LGBT community, this proves doubly true. Your immediate family may be OK with your orientation but your extended family is a whole ‘nother creature. But fret not.

I’ve compiled a few helpful tips to aid you and yours in getting through those family gatherings in one piece.

26 | December, 2012

It Takes Time

Just like some of us had to do when co ming out, acceptanc take time. Being ou e can t for the holidays ma y mean added stres already hectic holid s to an ay season. You ma y be at terms with yo but your family may urself, still be coming to ter ms with who you ar your family’s judgm e. Let ents be theirs to wo rk on, as long as the kind to you. If you ar y are e transgender, be ge ntle with your family pronoun “slips.” Let ’s them know you know how difficult it is. Ab all – be understandin ove g, try and go with the flow as best you ca n.

No BIG Announcements

Even though the ho lidays are a time for coming together, sometimes it’s just be tter to let things be.

I know that some families love to anno unce engagements or pregnancies at the holidays, but for me – and I would hope everyone – the holid are about celebratin ays g family and togeth erness. Leave the big announcements for another day and jus t celebrate being in same room with ea the ch other!

Forgive and For

get

The holidays can br ing up old dramas and reopen all those wounds. Take it fro old m me, girl, that stu ff is in the past. It ne stay in the past. Fo eds to r me, the holidays are a perfect time to all that stuff behind put you. Let it go. Living for yesterday will lea you with so much ne ve gative energy – loo k for ward. Be the big person and renew ger those old ties. It wi ll be so much bette don’t dwell, and jus r if you t come to celebrate on the holidays

Have That Safety Net Open

Not everything is pe rfect, and sometimes things will happen during the holidays that aren’t amazing . Make sure to keep contact with your cir in cle of friends or your chosen family. The digital age makes thi s easy through text message, Facebook Twitter. If it become or s too much – rely on them – shoot them a message. And tit for quick tat – if they are in ov er their heads, make yourself available as well. One last thing – the safety net is to used only for those be emergencies: don’t spend all your holid texting and messagin ays g. Spend SOME tim e with your family.

Hopefully these tips will de-stress you an d make that holiday family time all the mo re enjoyable! v

theVitalVOICE.com | 27

A Brazilian in St. Louis Written by Thiago Martins de Magalhães Photography courtesy Thiago Martins de Magalhães

B

eing a gay college student in the St. Louis area is very different from how it would be in my hometown of São Paulo, Brazil. The concept of a full time undergrad student doesn’t really exist in Brazil, and class schedules are the same for students who are in the same year and have the same major.

McKendree University is a dry campus. I did not know such things existed before coming here. Beer, sugar cane vodka and wine is very present in everyone’s lives in Brazil. The legal age to have alcoholic beverages is 18, which is also the driving age.

My first reaction was to laugh, then I learned it is very common for small campuses. I found there are states that have dry and moist counties, so I was shocked again. I still amuse relatives and friends in Brazil with the idea. Today, I realize this is just a cultural thing and in other areas in the U.S., people might even think different than here. So I can’t generalize, therefore, I respect the American way.

Going out to parties, bars or clubs is also more difficult. If you have an underage friend you have to find a place that will let them in. You have to figure out transportation – if you drink you cannot drive and there is not a sufficient transit system in this area. If it is possible to overcome those problems, it is time to have fun. But wait a second, is the bar already closing?

Bars and clubs close between 6 and 7 am in São Paulo, here they close around 2 or 3 am, which is the time I would be arriving at those places.

Don’t misunderstand me, I still have a lot of fun in St. Louis. I 28 | December, 2012

really like the late get togethers and such. The truth is, if I was in Brazil, my time would be filled with work and college. I would not experience living on a college campus.

In almost four years of college it was hard to meet other guys and have gay friends. I have a few really good friends here and I have the best “bff” one could possibly ask for. But I still think I could have enjoyed the time even better if I had met more guys.

I think it would be different if I had chosen to study in a bigger school or a more urban area. But thankfully someone came up with the idea of creating apps in which we can chat with other guys nearby. That is how I got to meet people who took me to the St. Louis gay bars and showed me the cool places in the city.

Now let’s talk about being gay in São Paulo.

São Paulo is a very modern city, you can find anything there.

They have all sorts of restaurants, bars, museums, stores, parks.

There is a place for every urban tribe there. The gay community is influential – we have one of the biggest gay prides in the world, and usually, you can express yourself with no worries.

I studied in the same school all my life, my class was divided into three classrooms with 30 students. All my classmates ended up knowing each other really well and grew to respect each other. I had two classmates who were also gay – it really helped to have them around and realize there are others like me. During high school we were openly gay and we did not have any problems.

We are still good friends and every time I go back we get together.

My parents migrated from the countryside to São Paulo and there is a stereotype that countryside people are less gay friendly. But they were very accepting of me and my friends. My father still hopes I get a girlfriend, but he is understanding me better as time goes by. My sister was also very supportive; she helped me a lot.

When I go to Brazil during summer vacation I party hard to compensate for the time spent studying. I wish the seasons in Brazil were the same as they are here. Summer vacation in Brazil happens in December, January and February – and my friends only get July off for winter break. It is difficult but I usually manage to persuade my friends to go out with me.

What I like most about night life in São Paulo is it is not necessary to go to a gay bar to find other guys. There are many places everyone coexists, but the gay clubs are great too.

The old downtown has become the new ‘gay district’ along with Paulista Avenue and Augusta Street. Thursday, Friday and Saturdays, the streets are filled of people just walking around, having a beer or waiting for the clubs to open.

In these past years my favorite place on Thursdays was Alôca, a trash/alternative/rock gay club. It looks like a rustic and ugly cavern, but they play cool music, have a great crowd, some nights they have drag shows.

for the LGBT community in this past election. On the national level, we have a couple of LGBT politicians and they introduced laws to give our community equivalent rights to the majority of the population. But they are always crushed when brought to a vote. The judicial branch has recently allowed gay couples to get married by stating the constitution says that everyone should have the right to marry. But this right should be secured through law, and the legislative branch ignores the issue.

In the past year, there were reported cases of homophobic attacks on Paulista Ave. The most famous of them was three young men being hit with fluorescent light bulbs in the head by a group of middle class men. The police found the men and arrested them. My complaint is that these crimes are usually registered as street fights or simple aggressions – penalties for these types of crimes are not severe. There is a law in Congress awaiting vote that would typify homophobic crimes and increase the penalties, but it is being ignored by our legislators.

I am an optimistic guy and I believe LGBTers will be respected and have equivalent rights to the majority. I do wish we were more politically organized. Maybe it is up to my generation to make things happen – hopefully, I can take what I learned here and apply it to my reality over there. In the meantime, I hope you get a chance to visit Brazil and São Paulo in the future, and you feel as welcomed as I felt here. v

In the neighborhood of Pinheiros is Bubu – the most well-known gay club in São Paulo. Wednesday and Fridays the club is crowded. They play more of a techno-pop music, and it is always fun to go there.

Also in that neighborhood on Sundays a club called Open Bar hosts a party called Gambiarra, which always makes being tired on Mondays worthwhile. They play lots of remixed Brazilian music. It is not a gay party, but that became the place to go, and that is where I met the most interesting people, One thing I think the gay community in São Paulo could learn from St. Louis is to be more political. Although we have a huge gay pride, we didn’t elect any city representative that stands theVitalVOICE.com | 29

Political VOICE Landslide for Equality Written by A.J. Bockelman Photography by DNC & Darin Slyman

B

y now you’ve heard all of the analysis. November 6th was a great day in history for LGBT equality. A time when three states advanced marriage equality at the ballot and for the first time a state voted down a discriminatory marriage amendment. We are poised to send not just the first African American and pro-equality President back to office in January, but also our first lesbian was elected to the U.S. Senate. By a significant margin, progressive issues advanced around the country.

Here at home, we see more of a mixed bag of results. In Illinois, A Democrat super majority was elected and all three of the openly-LGBT members of the Illinois General Assembly were re-elected – with openlygay candidate, EQIL PAC-endorsed Sam Yingling, beating a three-term incumbent to become the fourth LGBT member of the Illinois House of Representatives.

In Missouri, voters at the polls repeatedly split their ticket. This state voted for Romney with a 10% lead over Obama.

This alone shows Missouri is no longer considered to be a bell weather state.

After voting overwhelmingly for Romney as their top choice, over 110,000 voters left the voting booth. Those that stayed overwhelmingly crossed party lines to vote in Moderate Democrat Claire McCaskill over Todd Akin by a sizable 16% spread.

They also voted consistently in support of a 30 | December, 2012

centrist Governor by re-electing Jay Nixon.

Beyond that – the ticket became much more split. In the end, only incumbent Republican Peter Kinder remained standing amongst the Republicans (note – Auditor Tom Schweich is also Republican, but not up for election until 2014).

At first glance of the statewide returns it would seem that Missouri was caught up in the populist wave that swept the county in favor of Obama. On deeper review, you will see that is not quite the case.

In the Senate Democrats only gained two seats – one of which is purely due to redistricting. In the House, the GOP advanced to a veto proof majority of 110 by adding 4 additional seats.

So what does that mean for equality in the Show Me State?

While Missouri may no longer be a bell weather state that foretells presidential races, I do believe there are valuable lessons learned which will inform the work in Missouri.

Overwhelmingly the progressive agenda, championed by Obama was reelected by a series of groups – young voters, 60% of women, 77% LGB individuals along with strong minority support. By and large, statistically speaking, if you are a white, straight male over the age of 30, you were much more likely to vote for Romney.

And statistically speaking, according to the last census, Missouri has a largely white population (80%) compared to the national average (60%). That helps to explain why Missouri is, and will likely remain for some time, a Republican state.

While the demographics of the voting population have shifted, by and large the Republican party has had fits and starts in trying to shift the party to a more centrist role. This past summer during the primary battles it was easy for progressives to miss the battle going on between the centerright and far-right parts of the Republican party. Take for example two separate Senate fights – Districts 21 and 31 – both near Kansas City. The primary battle in each case was between a moderate and far right/tea party individual. While the records of all four candidates were prolife, Missouri Right to Life along with Tea Party backed funders broke hard for the far right candidates. In one race, District 31 – the far right candidate won, although in another, the moderate candidate won.

This battle is indicative of what we saw play out over the last few months, both at the state and national level. Social conservatives dug in while more moderate candidates had to go it alone. We are on the cusp of a compulsory evolution within the Republican party and I believe in order to evolve, more moderate Republicans will embrace equality issues.

unconventional

We can see the early signs of this if we look back to the last legislative cycle. Both the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act, adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the Human Rights Statute, and the Safe Schools bill, which advocates for an inclusive anti-bullying policy statewide, were introduced with bipartisan support. While the GOP increased their House presence by 4 seats, not all of those incoming House members are anti-gay.

As additional evidence of this evolution, I can attest that PROMO would not have been able to resolutely kill the “Don’t Say Gay” bill this past year had it not been for the help of many individuals from both sides of the aisle.

The work over the next year is to continue to make the case for members of the majority party on why LGBT equality matters to them. v A.J. Bockelman is the Executive Director of PROMO, Missouri’s statewide LGBT advocacy organization.

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2012 • 2012 • 2012 34 | December, 2012

Written and Photographed by Colin Murphy – Editor As winter takes hold and the brisk winds of the New Year blow – it’s only appropriate to look back and reflect on the year that was. As I write, the historic and equality affirming 2012 election remains fresh in our collective memory. With President Obama’s reelection, the passage of marriage equality by popular vote in three states, the election of the first openly gay U.S. Senator – history’s want and the promise of democracy seemingly clasped hands on Nov. 6th.

While the campaign monopolized the news throughout the year – 2012 included a host of LGBT headlines, including Obama embracing marriage equality, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) vetoing an historic marriage equality bill passed by the Democratic legislature, a Federal Appeals Court refusing to re-hear overturning the ban on Prop 8, The Boy Scouts of America doubling down on their anti-gay policy and American icon – astronaut Sally Ride, coming out in her obituary.

Here at home, the year began with St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay tweeting that he’d joined “Mayors for the Freedom to Marry” and sitting down for an in depth interview on his support for LGBT equality with Vital VOICE. Clayton passed its Domestic Partnership Registry – which was soon followed by Maplewood, Ferguson, Creve Coeur and Richmond Heights passing LGBT inclusive

Nondiscrimination Ordinances. As we go to press, St. Louis County and Kirkwood are scheduled to follow.

We packed La Perla for Briefs: a Festival of Short Gay and Lesbian Plays and cheered Joan Lipkin’s “Arts and Innovator of the Year” award from the A&E council.

In early Spring, the community rallied to join PROMO in successfully beating back the “Don’t Say Gay” Bill introduced in Jefferson City and welcomed the first Republican legislator into the community with the coming out of Missouri State Representative Zach Wyatt.

March and April brought Scott O’Brien the title of Mr. Missouri Leather and Michelle McCausland the Miss Gay Missouri crown.

For the third year running, we marched for the martyred Harvey Milk from The Grove to City Hall and cheered the Cardinals at “Out at the Ballpark”.

June saw the community converge on Grand Center as the Fabulous Fox marquee welcomed LGBT Pride Month, City Hispanic leaders issued the first LGBT Pride Proclamation and a new St. Louis Pride Flag was unveiled – the brainchild of Harold Boerstler. We reveled in a season of festivals as St. Louis PrideFest broke the 100,000 attendance mark, Metro East Pride held its first march and fifth festival and St. Louis Black Pride turned fourteen.

2012 • 2012 • 2012

2012: A Queer Review

theVitalVOICE.com | 35

2012 • 2012 • 2012 36 | December, 2012

It was another year of choruses, concerts and yes – a conga line.

We christened The Grove with Wigstomp and participated in Dining Out and Thirst for Life.

Celebrating a year in “the gayborhood,” The LGBT Center of St. Louis welcomed Erin Davies’ FagBug, Equality Illinois’ Bernard Cherkasov and trans-activist Masen Davis – while it’s St. Louis LGBT History Project celebrated and showcased our queer past.

The Missouri Primary in August shrank our LGBT Caucus by half and gave us the passage of Amendment 2 - or the “Right to Pray” amendment allowing religious expression in public places and prayer in public schools.

In November, we paused to mark Transgender Day of Remembrance at events around town; preparations to bring back The St. Louis AIDS Walk began and the AIDS Memorial Quilt returned to St. Louis.

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theVitalVOICE.com | 37

The Iron Bartender

Written by Matt Jamieson – Staff Writer Photography by Darin Slyman Congratulations to Jimmy Zensen who reigns supreme as the Iron Bartender of Just John’s. After weeks of friendly competition with his fellow Just John’s barkeeps – Jimmy won the title on Nov. 8th, with Jacob Norton taking runnerup. He wins a seven-day trip to gorgeous Costa Rica this February, compliments of Bacardi. Don’t cry for Jacob, he isn’t going home empty handed! He wins a $350 Visa gift card, also courtesy of Bacardi.

The entire Iron Bartender competition took place over seven weeks and all money raised was for charity. Jacob and Jimmy earned over $1000, just on the final night alone – for various non-profits including St. Louis Effort for AIDS (EFA), PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) and the LGBT Center of St. Louis.

Jimmy’s winning drink recipe was a sweet and dirty little concoction called the “Drag Queen.” You start with Bacardi Dragon berry, orange and pineapple juices, a splash of grenadine and then garnish it with an orange and strawberry. It’ll have you feeling like a queen in no time! v 38 | December, 2012

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40 | December, 2012

Adria Andrews Wins Miss Spirit of St. Louis Written by Colin Murphy – Editor Photography by Darin Slyman The 2nd Annual Miss Spirit of St. Louis Missouri America pageant took flight on Oct. 28 at Attitude’s Nightclub before a Halloween weekend crowd. Adria Andrews (also known as Josh McMikle) returned to capture the crown and will be joined by First Alternate Nadia Louis at the 40th Annual Miss Gay Missouri America pageant, April 11-13 at the Metropolitan Church of Greater St. Louis.

Both competitors are St. Louis residents.

The crowd was electric throughout the three-hour-event hosted by MGM 1991 Dieta Pepsi. Contestants competed in the categories of male interview, solo talent, evening gown, on stage question and talent. Special entertainment was provided by the reigning MSOSL and MGM 2012 Michelle McCausland, MGM 1997 Krista Versace and MGM 1998 Alexis Principle.

Miss Spirit of St. Louis is proudly promoted by Vital VOICE (Darin Slyman, Dieta Pepsi & Colin Murphy) and earned ‘Best New Promoter’ and ‘Best New Preliminary” honors at MGM 2012.Last year’s Miss Spirit of St. Louis Michelle McCausland and First Alternate Adria Andrews went on to capture the MGM and Third Alternate titles, respectively. v theVitalVOICE.com | 41

a T e c n e l l e c x E L to R: Adria Andrews, Nadia Louis, Michelle McCausland, Alexis Principle, Krista Versace

42 | December, 2012

t h g i l F s e Tak theVitalVOICE.com | 43

Madonna Christens The StL

Written by Colin Murphy – Editor Photography by Mike Gavin & Bobby Parker Planet Madonna made its first and fashionably late stop here in The StL, Nov. 1 as a constellation of gay fans were pulled into her orbit. After 30-plus years we were exiled no more. And true to Madonna form – the diva did it on her own terms – taking the stage at 10:37 pm for the 8 o’clock concert.

The overall feel of the “MDNA Tour” was showstopper – a Broadway meets Bollywood extravaganza. The queer icon threw everything at the audience from impressive, athletic choreography; an aerial marching band and a state of the art stage that lit up Scott Trade with myriad moving parts and imagery.

At 54, the former Material Girl still has it – but one complaint heard flying off most lips post-concert was that Madge didn’t play enough of what fans came to hear.

Madonna’s set list was heavy with MDNA songs while standards like “Holiday” and “Lucky Star” were only teased during a pretaped video segment.

That’s the recap from St. Louis, Minnesota.

Er—I mean, Missouri. “Geez – I only got four hours sleep last night!” v

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DEC.12 PLAYD/a/tes

For a complete list of all vital happening in St. Louis log onto thevitalvoice.com/events.

To submit your next event, simply email vv@thevitalvoice.com with event name, date, location and a 20-word description.

12.1 World AIDS Day

Founded in 1988, World AIDS Day was the first-ever global health day.

The date is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV/AIDS, show their support for people living with the disease and to commemorate those who have died.

12.7 HRC First Fridays Cocktail & Conversation

Four Seasons, Cielo, 999 North 2nd Street, St. Louis, MO 63102 The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) hosts First Fridays at a new, fun place each month. Come join us and strike up a conversation with one of our volunteers about the fight for equality and how you can get involved.

12.12 – 1.6 Wicked

The Fabulous Fox - 527 N. Grand, St. Louis, MO 63103 www.thefabulousfox.com After breaking box office records and selling out in record time in three previous engagements, Wicked, Broadways biggest blockbuster, will return to the Fabulous Fox Theatre in St. Louis. Prepare yourself to be moved by the performances of “Defying Gravity”, “Popular” and many more new Broadway classics.

12.14 – 15 Gateway Men’s Chorus Holiday!

Christmas Music Show

www.gmcstl.org The Gateway Men’s Chorus opens their 26th season with Holiday music… with a twist! You’ll hear their new arrangement of a mash-up of “Holiday”

by Madonna and “Celebrate” by Kool & the Gang, and “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams and much, much more.

GMC’s concerts are not to be missed and Holiday is no exception!

12.25 Christmas

Whether you’re a believer or not - Christmas is a time to celebrate family and friends. So exchange some gifts and have a feast. The holiday is also a perfect time to remember those in need through volunteer work, fundraisers or a kind word, or two.

12.31 New Year’s Eve

It’s time to celebrate! Make those resolutions as we dress in white to promote world peace, watch the fireworks by the Arch or at Grand Center, grab a midnight kiss and begin the New Year with fun and excitement.

46 | December, 2012

The Gay & Lesbian Couple’s Guide to Home Buying Written by Pam Schneider

F

or most gay and lesbian couples, buying a house together is a major commitment to each other. Also, it will probably be the most expensive single purchase you will ever make as an individual or as a couple.

Remember, most property laws have been written to protect individuals and/ or married couples. Since marriage is not an option in Missouri, it is crucial we create the contractual and legal documentation that will provide us with the protection granted automatically to married couples.

Something to consider prior to getting started is speaking with an attorney about creating a Domestic Partnership Agreement. This is a written agreement that establishes your property rights. For example, what happens if our partnership breaks up? With this agreement it is often possible to dissolve the relationship and resolve issues similar to a dissolution of marriage. Since Missouri does not support/ recognize same sex marriage, this is one option to protect both of your interests.

In regard to applying for a mortgage, this is one area where you will find some equality! There is no advantage for married couples over same sex couples when it comes to applying for a loan. Regardless, everyone on the loan application has to have their credit pulled individually.

When you are under contract and are preparing to close make certain you know how the title company is having you take title to the property. To ensure your rights to your property go ONLY to your partner immediately upon your death, you must take title by JOINT TENANCY WITH RIGHT OF SURVIVORSHIP. Taking title any other way will require probate upon your death and may result in the deceased partner’s “heirs at law” becoming owners of the property along with the surviving partner.

Once you become homeowners you now have the benefit of the mortgage interest deduction on your federal income tax.

But wait…since we cannot file jointly, how do we do this? You basically have

two choices….both of you can divide the interest and deduct it equally or one of you can take the whole deduction.

Dividing the deduction may seem like the best option. The thing to consider is whether you have similar or widely divergent income levels. If you are similar, chances are dividing the deduction will serve you. Keep in mind if you divide the deduction you should make mortgage payments by separate check so you will have proof of your respective contributions. If one of you earns significantly more, allowing that person to take the whole deduction may result in a greater tax savings for both of you.

Navigating the complicated waters of home buying for same sex couples can be made easier when you secure the help of knowledgeable professionals. Trust me when I say it can be the most rewarding journey you will ever travel as a couple!

Happy home buying. v Have a Real Estate question? Contact Pam Schneider at pamschneider@sbcglobal.net theVitalVOICE.com | 47

48 | December, 2012

Scene Styling

A Wonderful Community We really meant it at the HRC Gala when we said we love to cover our community. 2012 has been a fantastic year – with major strides and challenges that our community has celebrated, faced and overcome. We are so proud to join you for the ride and can’t wait to step into 2013 – one community, one tribe.

theVitalVOICE.com | 49

H LIDAYS AT POWELL HALL

December 21-23

Ward Stare, conductor Debby boone, vocalist Holiday Festival chorus Kevin mcbeth, director

Enjoy the STL Symphony’s rendition of your favorite holiday songs, with vocalist Debby Boone.

PreSeNTeD by

boone

December 28-30

Pirates of the

Ca ribbean Curse of the Black Pearl richard Kaufman, conductor men of the St. Louis Symphony chorus Amy Kaiser, director

Experience Pirates of the Caribbean on the big screen paired with the epic score performed by the STL Symphony bringing The Curse of The Black Pearl to life.

Presentation licensed by Disney Music Publishing and Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, Non-Theatrical ©Disney

stlsymphony.org 314-534-1700 50 | December, 2012

VITALVOICE

any 1 regularly priced, in-stock item not combinable with any other offer. one coupon per customer, per day. coupon not applicable on custom framing, custom invitations, classes, xyron, pantone or house accounts. must present this coupon at time of purchase. not valid for the purchase of gift cards.

December, 2012

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