January 2017 by The Vital Voice Magazine

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TRANSgender issue IMPRESSUM 6

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NIGHTLIFE 8

FIRST SIP

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PLAYDATES MAXI GLAMOUR TEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

DON'T ASK TEN QUESTIONS TO JUST AVOID

PROFILES 20

JAIMIE HILEMAN COMING OUT AND OUT

MTUG 2017 UPGRADING THE UMBRELLA

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GIGI GORGEOUS SHE'S MORE THAN JUST A QUADRUPLE THREAT, SHE'S A JILL OF ALL TRADES, AND A MASTER OF JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM.

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TALKING TRANS HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY

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JOSS BARTON THE ART OF FICTION AND FASHION

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QUEENS, OUT SIREN AND PINKO SASHAY SOUTH

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January 2017

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video blogs. I consumed other people’s stories there for hours at a time, then read a half dozen trans memoirs. Like Jamison Green so aptly described his experience in his memoir “Becoming a Visible Man,” it wasn’t like a light switch was suddenly turned on; it was like candles being lit, one by one, in a dark cave. All of my gender memories stood together in a row, and they all made sense for the first time. It was also the first moment I discovered there were others truly like me. All of us in the LGBT community have that moment of recognition at some point in our lives. It was both liberating and completely terrifying. But as I would learn, that’s how all amazing journeys start. In the room with the lawyers, sharing our personal backstories allowed human-to-human connection to take place, to the point where some of the people in the room approached us after the session, tears flowing, sharing their own stories with us.

WELCOME “When did you know?” This fall, I was invited to give a talk on transgender awareness to a group of attorneys at a large local law firm. The goal was to have a couple of trans folks like me share their personal stories and give some insight into the social, legal and other challenges faced by the trans* community. Being in a room full of lawyers, I imagined the first questions I would get would be of the “What do you think will happen this legislative session?” variety. But what I found was that people wanted to hear, above all else, the most personal, human stuff. For me, and this may be the case for many of my trans* brothers and sisters, the answer to the question “When did you know you were trans” is complex. It’s different from the answer to “When did I know I was male?” When I was four, I was adamant about my maleness. When I was six or seven, I gave myself a secret male name. When I was fourteen, I struck deals with God every night to make me a boy while I slept. At 17 I found community as a lesbian, and I subconsciously pushed aside my male identity for a while. It wasn’t until I was 31 when I caught my maleness again in the mirror. For me, that mirror was YouTube. By happenstance, I stumbled, like Alice down a rabbit hole, upon scores of FTM

All of our stories have power. At a local transgender conference this fall, I co-facilitated a workshop with fellow community activist and storyteller, Joan Lipkin. Our session, “Your Transgender Stories and Mine,” invited both trans* people and their cisgender supporters to mine their memories, to excavate their personal experiences. At the end of the day, a handful of brave souls—most of whom didn’t identify as “writers,” shared their work on the stage in front of conference attendees. Once again, tears flowed as we bore witness to the bravery of the human spirit and took in stories that connect us all. As memoirists know, in the most personal stories lives the universal. We can all connect with each other’s need for acceptance, love and transcendence. Joseph Campbell said, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” I think it’s also a privilege to share your story with others. My story is just that: it’s only one story. I acknowledge and try to keep in check my white, male and white male privilege. I can’t speak for everyone in my community. What I can do is try to encourage others to share their voices and to lift up those voices. In our community, the fight for equality is far from over. Thanks to Vital VOICE for putting #transvoices at the forefront of the publication this year. Here’s to an empowered— and powerful—2017,

Kelly Mason Hamilton Former Board Member, PROMO Cofounder, EQ Magazine

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NIGHTLIFE

FIRST SIP

GUILT-FREE GOODNESS So good, there must be something wrong with it, right? Wrong. The Guilt-Free Goodness combines the zero calories of club soda and the fresh citrus of lime with Pearl Strawberry Basil, voted VOICE Your Choice’s Favorite Pearl Vodka flavor of 2016. The favored flavor provides a subtle perfume of garden-fresh basil mixed with the natural sweetness of red, ripe fruit, resulting in a masterful blend with an unmistakable earthiness that never overpowers. Cheers to 2017 with plenty of good and zero guilt.

MAKE IT Glass: Double rocks

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January 2017

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NIGHTLIFE

Playdates

SAINT LOUIS

HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH

27th-29th

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Brilliantly innovative, heartbreaking, and wickedly funny, Hedwig And The Angry Inch is the landmark musical by John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask that is “groundbreaking and ahead of its time” (Entertainment Weekly). This genre-bending, fourth-wall-smashing musical sensation, with a pulsing score and electrifying performances, tells the story of one of the most unique characters to ever hit the stage. It’s about finding your other half; it’s the story of the origin of love. Directed by Tony Award winner Michael Mayer (Spring Awakening, American Idiot) and starring Tony and Olivier Award-nominee Euan Morton, Hedwig And The Angry Inch is the winner of four 2014 Tony Awards including Best Musical Revival. It played to record-breaking sell-out crowds on Broadway and promises to take St. Louis by storm with what Rolling Stone proclaims is “the best rock musical ever!”

6th

MARDI GRAS TWELFTH NIGHT

7th

14th NEW YEAR FOR ST. LOUIS FROZEN STRAYS TRIVIA NIGHT BUNS RUN 2017

Soulard - mardigrasinc.com Twelfth night marks the start of the Mardi Gras season in St. Louis, where Soulard ushers in its favorite time of the year in style, celebration and, yes, lots of beads.

Marriott St. Louis - newyearforstrays.com Purina presents the annual trivia night, where 100% of the proceeds stay in the area and benefit several different amazing animal welfare organizations.

Delmar Loop - visittheloop.com Meet or exceed your new 2017 running goals or aim for a new personal record at the coolest run of the year, and stay for the annual Ice Festival to support local business.

JUST JOHN BARTENDER'S REVIEW

ST. LOUIS BLUES PRIDE NIGHT

WINTER’S FIRE: A GMC CABARET

15th

19th

29th

Just John - johnjohnclub.com Kick of 2017 with a benefit in The Grove. The annual bartender's review is back, where your favorite bartenders perform in drag and give back to the community.

Scottrade Center - ticketmaster.com The special theme night includes a Blues rainbow logo t-shirt that supports ‘You Can Play,’ which works to ensure inclusion for all athletes, coaches and fans.

The Monocle - themonoclestl.com Warm yourself amongst the friendly smiles and songs provided by members of the Gateway Men’s Chorus, live in The Emerald Room in the heart of The Grove.

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Ma Glamo “

FINALLY LIBERATED FROM THE GRASP OF THE BAKLAVA KING, MAXI GLAMOUR MADE THEIR WAY TO THE MIDWEST IN HOPES OF SHAKING THINGS UP THROUGH EXPERIMENTAL EXPRESSION ON AND OFF STAGE. THAT’S MY STORY AND I’M STICKING TO IT.

“

–MAXI GLAMOUR

January 2017

axi ou r

NIGHTLIFE

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW 1) They’re St. Louis’ Queen of Polka and Baklava. “I needed a tag line, and I knew no one would have that one. It transcends cultural boundaries, because no one really knows where Baklava came from, and Polka is just loud and rambunctious.” 2) They started the event, Qu’art, to support queer art. “Get it? We have quarterly events with different artists: visual artists, performance artists, musicians, videographers, photographers, all of them coming in to perform with the opportunity to buy and sell their art." 3) Their performances are more than art, they’re a message. “I want to promote diversity within the subculture; people don’t feel proper representation in certain ways. I’ve done an all people of color event, and made sure to include Asians and Latinos, because sometimes they don’t get representation.” 4) They’re involved in local politics. “It’s good to work with people who are making a difference in the community. I hosted an event in support of Bernie Sanders, where hundreds of artists showed up along with local politicians like Bruce Franks, Cory Bush, Patrick Hamacher and Megan Ellyia Green.” 5) They design clothes with St. Louis in mind. “I’ve been working at STL-Style House for four years, where I started off as a shop boy. Now I’m designing for them, and I’ve worked for clients like Tower Grove South Organization, JCAA, SLU and Girl Scouts." 6) They find style inspiration just about anywhere. “I love Gaultier, Leigh Bowery, Club Kids, Prince, Jimi Hendrix–anything that’s innovative, where you have to look at it twice to really know what’s going on. Those kind of people inspire me to do the same kind of thing.” 7) They know this city. “I think St. Louis has a good burlesque scene, and the stages and costumes that come out of that are pretty good. But St. Louis style caters to the metro area abroad, to a place where innovation has not been met. So you can’t market to people who don’t want it.” 8) They give good advice. "Be different. Be weird. Sometimes artistic movements, when they become comfortable, they become stagnant. And don’t do it for the money, do it for the message. If you do it for the money, people aren’t going to come.” 9) They have a goal for the trans* community. “When Obama used the word ‘trans’ on TV, that was a moment of clarity for a lot of people. And then with Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox, they’re coming out of the woodwork. Now, it’s time for trans* men to come out and get more roles and visibility.” 10) We’re nominating them for President of the United States. “More recycling bins, more compost bins, less fossil fuels, stricter gun laws, less gun manufacturing, less jails and, of course, trans* and queer rights. It wouldn’t even be an issue; it would just be rights. Oh, and free Wi-Fi.” V

TEXT KEVIN SCHMIDT ART ZES PHOTOGRAPHY thevitalVOICE.com

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Cocktails and appetizers at The Tavern, Sub Zero Vodka Bar for martinis and sushi/ salad, enjoy entrees, desserts and whiskey pairings at Gamlin Whiskey House. End your evening at 1764 Public House.

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January 2017

NIGHTLIFE

Don’t Ask

10 Questions To Just Avoid

TEXT KEVIN SCHMIDT

You’re out and about on the town. Hell, you may even be out of the closet as gay. But whether you are straight or gay, speak English or not, there are some things that you just don’t ask when you run into someone who is transgender. While you may feel like you are walking on eggshells with what to avoid saying, being better informed is probably a more productive solution. In the spirit of getting educated on the quintessential “T” in LGBT this year, here are ten questions to avoid when getting to know someone who is transgender. 1. What do you think of Caitlynn Jenner?

Overall, not the best conversation starter. Not to discount Caitlynn Jenner’s bold move of coming out as trans, but her story is not necessarily indicative of the community as a whole. It’s one of the first things that pop into peoples’ heads when the topic of transgender comes up, but if I had a nickel for every time a straight person asked me about Lance Bass, well, do you see the point? 2. Aren't you afraid of being harassed?

Of course it’s on their minds, just like anyone who does anything different from the mainstream stands out and will most likely be judged for it. It’s a part of the gig. While confidence is key in overcoming this, the trans* community is fully aware of the consequences they face for being their truest selves. 3. Which bathroom do you use?

Ugh, the goddamn bathroom question. This will go down as one of the worst debates in 2016 history. For the record, trans* people have been using their choice restroom for years, and you didn’t even notice. Also, when they have to go, they have to go. Let’s all do our business, don’t forget to wash your hands, and then move on.

5. What's your real name?

That “real” name may be what’s on their birth certificate, but it is still a name from the past, when they were taking an identity that didn’t fit them. The name they choose to identify with now is special, thought out, and something they take pride in. 6. Can you still have sex?

Is thEre a need to explain this one? Cisgender people tend to be obsessed with the sex thing, but the same guidelines of behavior apply to trans* people. Just remember, other people’s genitalia and/ or sexual preference is not deemed “causal conversation” in any situation—even if you’re just trying to educate yourself. 7. Are you a man or a woman?

“Which personal pronouns do you prefer?” would be more appropriate, that is if you are truly asking how to refer to them as. But if you’re asking this questing out of a selfish need to know what is what, then just abstain altogether. You’re opening up a can of worms with this one. 8. Do you think you were born in the wrong body?”

I see that you’re at least going for it—trying to indulge in a deeper conversation on another level—but the red flag here is “wrong,” a word that only adds to the stigma that trans* individuals currently face. You’re not a psychologist; you’re not their parent. Be a friend and simply be supportive. 9. How far do you plan on going?

In short, none of your damn business. Everyone’s transition is personal unless they otherwise say so. This isn’t a game show, this is not a competition. If you want to follow their “journey,” start with following them on Instagram or Snapchat.

4. Can I see a picture of what you used to look like?

What’s not appropriate about this is that it forces people who are trans* to discuss a time that was probably painful and personal. They’ve been through a lot to get where they are now, and don’t necessarily want to relive that time unless they are comfortable.

10. So you’re like the best of both worlds?

Jealous? You should be. V

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hile Jaimie Hileman’s coming to self story reflects many of the trials coming out as transgender entails, hers is most distinct in that it is a combination of several trans* tales into one, unforgettable narrative. In short, she’s been through it all, but her book is far from over. “I’ll give you a preface, because it would probably take another fifty years to explain the first fifty years,” she laughs. “I don’t think you or I have that time.” Growing up in southern Illinois, Jaimie knew who she was when she was five years old. “Before I had the words or images to express it, I knew what it meant to be read as something other than what people perceive you to be,” she explains. “There was a lot of bullying; I was called a sissy and queer bait throughout all of school. It got worse in third grade, and it really didn’t stop until junior high school. For the first chunk of my life, bullying and cruelty reinforced my thinking that whatever this was—this perception of myself as female—was wrong. I had to hide it. Like a lot of trans* people—particularly trans* women—I got very good at hiding that part of myself.”

Jaimie Hileman COMING OUT AND OUT

TEXT KEVIN SCHMIDT ART DARIN SLYMAN

January 2017

profiles

We all lie from time to time, or at least hide the truth. And we all have to be actors at some point, whether it’s acting interested on a date that is clearly going nowhere, being on your best behavior in front of your partner’s family, or simply being understanding of someone who is clearly out of line. But imagine having to compartmentalize you life in all aspects, both professionally and socially. Jaimie became very good at doing this full time. “There was this version of myself in one situation, and another version of myself everywhere else. It just gets very emotionally draining,” she explains. “Just imagine all of the things you could do if you just had more energy and more resources in your life, what could you accomplish? Now imagine those being siphoned off because you are dedicating them to being an actor. Being able to bring your whole self to work, being able to be your whole self with your friends, family and colleagues, that’s invaluable.” There was simply no way that this could be a permanent resolution for her. After decades of denial, Jaimie began to seriously transition. When she turned forty, she realized that, in terms of life expectancy, she probably had more days behind her than she did in front of her. She asked herself that if this was true, was she going to live being herself or being an actor? “I decided that when I felt the cold breath of mortality on my neck, I was going to live my life as who I wanted to be,” she explains. “I was no longer willing to lie. I wanted to stop feeling like I was deceiving everyone.” She began hormone therapy five years ago, and pursued every option she needed for a legal and social transition. Surprising to some, Jaimie had more difficulty coming out as a lesbian than she did as transgender, except when it came to coming out to people who denied what it means to be transgender altogether. “To them, we were a pathology, not a people,” she explains. “It was easier for them to understand that I was born as a boy but I am actually a woman, and that is what my transition is fixing. But with that, there is also the issue of sexuality. I’ve always been attracted to women. Sexual orientation does not change, except for a very few amount of people. Just like cisgendered queer people, you are born with your sexuality.” Nowadays, Jaimie is 100 percent comfortable in her own skin, a rarity that can be looked at as a life goal for many. She’s married to the love of her life, someone who has stuck by her side for nearly 24 years. “We met on March 26, 1993, when she was finishing up her degree at college. We haven’t been married that entire time, but I am grateful for that regardless,” she says. “And for everything she is, for who she is. 96 percent of marriages like ours fail and end.” A shocking reality for couples who are in a similar situation. That is, a situation where one of the partners identifies as a heterosexual male before transition, and then that person subsequently transitions and now identifies as a wife. “I’m very grateful that my relationship did not end in divorce,” she says. “It took work; nothing easy is worthwhile. Something unique about our marriage is that, when I corrected the gender markers on all of my documentation, we lost

our marital rights in 39 states. In 2012, we went from being married in 50 states to 11 states. Then in 2015 we were again recognized by all 50 states. It took three years, but we made it.” After coming to St. Louis and being among other likeminded people, Jaimie’s ability to work in the community really took off. She knew Sayer Johnson, Metro Trans* Umbrella Group (MTUG) President, through Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), one of the most secular and non-denominational churches in the city. “It’s very affirming and supportive of LGBT people, which was very important for my spouse in our transition,” she says. “Not long after MTUG was founded in July 2013, Sayer approached me, and I was exposed to the trans* community here in St. Louis: its needs, how it works and, in some cases, does not work.” Jaimie worked with MTUG for a few years, moving up to CoExecutive Director of the organization before saying farewell this past fall. “I enjoyed everything I did with MTUG, and I still work with them through volunteering at public speaking engagements. I still help amplify their voice and the voice of trans* people, particularly trans* women of color. Lifting them up and creating spaces for them where their voices can be included.” These days, Jaimie is working with the Diversity Awareness Partnership, where she continues to tackle the issues of trans* cultural competency, educational development and policy implementation, which is her ultimate goal. “I want to be that voice, I want to be someone who helps amplify the voices of other trans* people.” V

Being able to bring lf to whole se your whole self work, being able to whole self self with be your whole your friends, family and colleagues, valuable that's at's ininvaluable. th thevitalVOICE.com

Upgrading The Umbrella

What's Next For MTUG?

TEXT KARLA TEMPLETON ART KEVIN SCHMIDT

If ever a need for an umbrella to shield us from the complete shit storm that was 2016, now is the time. In 2016, at least 21 deaths of transgender people due to fatal violence occurred, the most ever recorded. It was the year of the bathroom wars, sparking a massive political attack and introductions of a multitude of new anti-trans* bills: HB 2, SB 720, HB 1624 and HB 1847 to name just a few. Missouri does not prohibit the discrimination or have laws in effect to protect the TLGB community in the following: housing, employment, public accommodations, anti-bullying, school discrimination or transgender health care, nor has it a policy that facilitates a gender marker change on driver’s licenses or birth certificates. PresidentElect Trump and his choice in pending cabinet members threaten the success of these state battles should they gain momentum to a federal level. Jesus, take the wheel. In the aftermath of 2016, our questions, concerns and priorities have intensified. Thankfully, our friends at Metro Trans* Umbrella Group have been providing us protection and preparing all along. MTUG’s vision brings together the community of trans*, genderqueer, androgynous, intersex and allies in the region through community, visibility, advocacy and education. Through solid grassroots organizing and nonstop determination, they are creating a more inclusive and supportive community here in St. Louis. “The heartbeat of our organization is to provide social emotional support,” Sayer Johnson, Co-Founder/Co-Executive Director of MTUG, explains. It’s where the trinity of MTUG’s focus starts. It then leads into planned meet ups, gatherings, clothing drives and the annual Transcending the Spectrum Art Show, and finally wraps around with the Trans* 101 training for businesses and schools. 20

January 2017

“We are experiencing the Trans* Tipping Point right in the middle of bearing witness in working toward our own liberation,” Johnson continues. “That is an amazing place to be, and it’s also amazing to be aware that it is happening. It’s also impressive how far we, as an organization, have come so far in just four years, but I also see the long haul ahead of us.” The immediate outcry from the community to the results of the 2016 Presidential Election created an immediate call to action: the streamlining and partnership of MTUG and PROMO (Missouri's statewide organization advocating for LGBT equality) to create a name change and documentation clinic-support group. It’s a way that Johnson states, “gives certainty in an uncertain time.” In the year ahead, MTUG will be offering many new support groups, including the name change/documentation clinic. The current groups meeting weekly/monthly are: • Locker Room: The Locker Room is a support-discussion group for folks who identify on the masculine end of the gender spectrum. Tomboy, stud, butch, FTM , trans*, genderqueer meeting every second Friday at 7 p.m. • Expression Spectrum: Non-binary Identities. Meeting times vary. • Fem Spec: Trans-feminine support group ages 18+. Anyone who identifies on the feminine end of the gender expression/identity spectrum is welcome. Meets every Wednesday evening. • QTPOC: self identifies as a person of color (POC) and LGBTQIA. Meeting times vary.

profiles

Additionally, MTUG will continue to offer the following services in 2017: • Q/A Panels • Volunteer Events • Trans* Visibility Week • Town Hall Meetings

Always moving forward, everyone involved with MTUG will continue to fight the good fight, evolving and answering the ever-changing needs of the communities they serve. Under their umbrella, we will continue to feel the warmth and support from their protection. For all information, resources, list of meetings, links to events and everything MTUG has to offer, check out MTUG at stlmetrotrans. com as well as on all major social media communities. V

• Trans* Spectrum Conference • Documentation Support • Clothing Drives/Swaps • Trans* Memorial Garden Always looking for new, donated safe spaces to hold upcoming meetings and events, MTUG has consistently raised the bar for finding resources and paving the way for the future generations of our community, making it less difficult to find the answers and support needed for every angle of navigating life. “My thing is, when I was 16 years old and I came out as a lesbian to my mother, she took me to gay pride,” Johnson explains. “Fast forward to 33 years old; I tell my mom I’m transgender, and she didn’t know what to tell me. So much has changed just in the decade that I’ve been out as a transgender adult; there was nothing when I first started. Now, I would hope that if I came out to my mother, she’d say to go to MTUG.”

“With the recent election results, there is a great deal of uncertainty. In combination with the challenges we face in navigating the bureaucracy around getting our legal documentation lined up with our authentic selves, MTUG wanted to provide some support in partnership with our friends at PROMO and through the generosity of local lawyers who have stepped up to support us. Also, a special thank you to community partners Pride St. Louis and MoKaBe's Coffeehouse” -MTUG

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February 12 –May 7 For ticket information, visit slam.org/degas. Members always free. Everyone free on Friday.

Open Tuesday–Sunday One Fine Arts Drive, Forest Park

#SLAMdegas

This Exhibition is organized by the Saint Louis Art Museum and the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. Presented by:

Edgar Degas, French, 1834-1917; The Millinery Shop, 1879-1886; oil on canvas; 39 3/8 x 49 9/16 inches; The Art Institute of Chicago, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Larned Coburn Memorial Collection

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January 2017

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January 2017

This Is Everything TEXT KEVIN SCHMIDT ART NINO MUÃ&#x2018;OZ

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Besides being drop dead gorgeous, Gigi Gorgeous has redefined what the term means altogether. With killer looks, an endless supply of solid advice and a loyal following, she has brought transgender issues to the forefront by simply being herself. The YouTube star turned media personality turned model turned actress is more than just a quadruple threat, she’s a Jill of all trades, and a master of just about all of them. And from coming out as gay to coming out as transgender to coming out as lesbian, she’s been through almost everything. Her fabulous life comes to the silver screen in the appropriately named documentary, This Is Everything, which is premiering at Sundance Film Festival this month and will launch exclusively on YouTube Red early this year. We sat down with Gigi to discuss her epic past year, and what she has planned for 2017 and beyond. 26

January 2017

First off, congratulations! What can you tell us about your documentary, This Is Everything? It is a very personal and in-depth look at my life. It includes things that I haven’t really touched on before, like things with my family. Really, it touches on everything, hence the title. I honestly couldn’t be more excited for people to see it. I am very nervous. I haven’t even actually seen it yet, but I have faith in the director, Barbara Kopple. What are some of the key ingredients to your success? Being honest and open. With having shared my life on YouTube for so many years, I’ve noticed that personal videos and videos that reach out to people are the most remembered. When I meet people in person, those are always the videos they bring up. Also, being consistent. You know that if you’re posting once a month on YouTube, it is to going to go well for you. Just creating content and keeping the ball rolling is key.

In what ways have you used your Internet fame to bring light to LGBTQ issues?

terminology and the education out there is super important, and I think having trans* people on TV and in movies helps.

I would say mainly sharing my story. I’ve noticed a lot people, whether they’re homophobic or transphobic, have switched their mindsets and come more over to our side, if you will. So I would definitely say sharing my story, and putting a face and a name to this transition and to this lifestyle.

What are some of the biggest challenges the community faces in 2017?

What are some issues you would say the transgender community has overcome this past year? I think that this has been one of the most revolutionary years for the trans* community. I think mainly it has become a household topic; everyone knows what a transgender person is. Whereas I don’t think last year many people did. Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner definitely had something to do with that. But I think our lack of visibility is something we’ve overcome, and it’s something we’ve had to overcome for a very long time. Because just getting the

Well, the President-elect; everyone, especially the LGBTQ+ community, sees this as a challenge and it will be. But I am staying positive that he continues all of the hard work many have put in toward our road to equality. After running into Lady Gaga at the AMAs, do you think anything could top that? Oh my god! I don’t know. I’m still shook at the fact that she spoke to me and came up to me. It was such a surreal moment for me. My little TV self was just dying. She’s just such a huge inspiration for me, the community, for the entire world really. It was huge. I don’t know who would be a bigger one. Maybe Celine Dion, because my mom and I are huge fans. thevitalVOICE.com

What did she say to you? I was walking backstage to go over the script and get ready to present. My back was turned, and I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and she’s standing right there in front of me. I thought she was going to be shorter, but she was standing eye to eye with me. She was like ‘Hi, how are you? I know who you are, and I’m a fan of your work.’ It was crazy. You announced you were transgender three years ago. What has the journey been like? It has been magical, honestly. Back in high school—in my younger years—I could have never imagined that my life could be so filled with love and light, honesty and fun. Living your most authentic self and coming out as a transgender woman is so empowering. It feels longer than three years, to be honest. It feels like I’ve always been living like this. I wish that I had done it sooner. How does it feel to come out three times? It’s crazy to say that, but that goes back to me being always honest and open. I guess I just say it feels great to learn more about myself, and to grow every single day. I’m changing every day. Was there one coming out experience that was more difficult than the others? I would definitely have to say that coming out as transgender was the hardest. It was raw and it was real, and a lot of people were shocked by it. It was just the right time though; I had to do it for me.

to-the-camera discussions. I did a talk show kind of thing for Transgender Awareness Week. I want to keep making videos and keep working with what makes me passionate. Who would you say are some of the YouTubers who are killing it right now? I’ve always love Lilly [Singh], IISuperwomanII; she’s from Toronto. I’ve supported her since the beginning. She’s on another level right now, and I’m so proud of her. I am really loving the NikkieTutorials. She’s a makeup artist, and I think her skills are unreal. She’s such a little goofball, she always makes me laugh. I love watching her videos. You were detained this past August in Dubai for simply being who you are. Can you describe what you took away from that experience, as well as what advice you would give to someone in a similar situation? It was one of the most terrifying situations. I am so blessed to have had friends and family around me at the time. But I would definitely say to anyone in a similar situation to be aware of your surroundings. It is kind of a helpless feeling, but make sure you know what is going on around you. Even if you don’t speak the language, just be careful and stay alert. Do your research, and try not to find yourself in a situation like that— especially if you are traveling alone. Where do you see yourself in three years? I hope to still be working on YouTube. I’m building an empire really; I want to do everything. I am such a workaholic; I never want to stop.

What is your biggest accomplishment, since your transition?

What would a Gigi Gorgeous presidency look like?

I would say moving to LA, and I would definitely say landing the movie deal. It was a huge moment for me when I found out the movie was happening. We had an award-wining director behind it. It was so validating for me to know that after filming all of these years—keeping it in the vault—that this movie was going to happen and people were going to see my story.

As someone who is from Canada, what is the coldest temperature you’ve ever faced?

With 2.4 million subscribers, where do you see your YouTube channel going? I would love to do more collaborations with other YouTube channels. That’s something I think I’m slacking on a little bit. I want to do more fun stuff as well. I love doing sit down, talk-

January 2017

One word: Equality.

When I was younger, I was a diver and competed nationally. We traveled to the northwest regions of Canada, and that was insane. I think it was like minus 40 degrees Celsius. Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? Maybe to eat less candy. I can’t help it, I eat candy every day. FYI: Her favorites are Skittles and chocolate. I suggest finding a different resolution, Gigi. V

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Say What? #SayHerName Officially started in May of 2015, #SayHerName is a social awareness campaign that aims to increase the visibility of violence targeted toward black women, specifically in regards to the profiling and policing of black women. Their motto: “Resisting police brutality against black women.” To some, this movement may seem like a redundancy of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, but as recent history has proven, black female—transgender inclusive— victims are among the least covered or explored by mainstream media outlets. #SayHerName aims to repair this disparity. Kayla Moore, Miriam Carey, Shelly Frey, Michelle Cusseaux, Alberta Spruil and Tanisha Anderson are just a few of the women lost to police brutality since 2015. In comparison, these stories— narratives if you will—have been largely ignored by major media outlets, who have focused more closely on the narratives of black men. Names like Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, and Walter Scott garnered much more coverage, with their stories spanning from initial reporting to the reporting of potential and actual charges, even trials. These stories were featured and delivered to audiences in their entirety, with outlets following relevant developments like protests, vigils, even a presidential speech. While #SayHerName does not aim to undermine the visibility of police brutality in regards to black men, it most certainly demonstrates the inequality of reactionary behavior for black women. While these stories may receive initial reporting, very little is done in the way of investigative reporting, which then promotes a disdainful idea that these instances are not investigated with the same intensity as others. In many ways, #SayHerName acts as a form of checks and balances, bringing visibility to these issues and calling for a more thorough analysis of the violence facing black 30

January 2017

TEXT BRANDON SHELDRAKE

women. Secondly, this movement holds the community culpable for not upholding these instances with the same fervor they hold for these women’s male counterparts. #SayHerName is an all-inclusive movement that illustrates the need for further developments in our inclusive social movements, which still foster a natural sense of decisiveness. On the issue of inclusivity, #SayHerName features a great deal of literature geared toward the recognition of trans* women— particularly trans* women of color—whose statistics for violence are disproportionally higher given their population size. It acknowledges the systematic issue of violence and how it affects certain populations heavier than others, while also acknowledging the importance of using these women’s names. For many trans* individuals, their given names are not the names they choose to identify with, since they do not aptly describe the individuals’ gender identities. It is important that we—the audience/media— use these women’s chosen names to demonstrate inclusivity of gender identity as we move forward with proper recognition. But most importantly, it is essential that we identify these women so we can solve this epidemic while also identify the consequences of violence within our society. This is not spilt milk. When mistakes and purposeful actions result in death, the stakes are higher and much more dangerous. These are human beings: mothers, sisters, daughters, partners and friends. If we do not acknowledge them as people, then we are incapable of acknowledging the devastation that is associated with their deaths—and we in turn are then apart of the problem. So educate yourself, discuss the issues and #SayHerName. V

LIFE GUIDE

TALKING

TRANS*

We all know that 2016 was a big year for transgender rights and issues. In moving forward, we feel that everyone should know these definitions, as well as the organizations that support trans* individuals and the entire LGBT+ community. When I first moved here, it was daunting hearing everyone throw around acronyms like MTUG and EFA with little to no explanation. Here are some quick tidbits to make you a little more knowledgeable on St. Louis area organizations and trans* terminology. V

Sex: (noun)

The classification of a person as male or female.

Gender Identity: (noun)

A personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s internal, deeply held sense of their gender.

Genderqueer: (adj.)

Transgender: (adj.)

A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity.

An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth.

EFA: (noun)

PROMO: (noun)

Saint Louis Effort for Aids is an organization dedicated to implementing innovative approaches that address the rapidly changing care, treatment and prevention environment for people living with or at risk of being infected with HIV.

Missouriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s statewide organization advocating for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender equality.

MTUG: (noun)

Metro Trans* Umbrella Group is a overarching organization dedicated to unifying the transgender support, advocacy, educational, and ally groups.

Cisgender: (adj.)

Denoting or relating to someone whose sense of personal identity corresponds with the gender assigned to them at birth.

*a special thanks to GLAAD Media Reference Guide-Transgender for providing definitions. For a full glossary of terms, visit glaad.org. TEXT BRANDON SHELDRAKE/GLAAD ART AUDREY SCHERER

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What to Expect As You're

Progressing Talking Hormone Replacement Therapy With The Doctors

TEXT TYLER BIERMAN

The idea of someone being transgender is not a new one. What is new is the level of acceptance and media coverage that the topic has garnered. In fact, in just the last few years, we have seen huge debates on trans* rights and a major Olympic athlete, Caitlyn Jenner, transition, as well as a number of mainstream television shows and movies that shine the spotlight on transgender individuals, including Orange is the New Black and The Danish Girl. This is the mainstream of today's America and we for are damn proud to be a part of it. That's why we wanted to take an opportunity to educate on a major part of the process, hormone replacement therapy. That's where the doctors come in. With more than 50 years of medical experience between them, Dr. Mark Scheperle and Dr. John Daniels are a major authority in St. Louis when it comes to hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Both began taking on patients looking to use HRT very early in their careers and have since helped hundreds of patients successfully transition into the gender that best fits them. It's because of this experience that we chose them to help us explain the A-to-Z of HRT. At its most basic, HRT is exactly what it sounds like. It's the process of replacing your current gender”s hormones—estrogen for women and testosterone for men—with the hormones of your preferred gender. This therapy will, over time, change your physical features and balance out your emotions, resulting in a nearly complete transition into the opposite gender. The result is an individual who feels more like themselves and looks the part too. It's an amazing procedure that has helped thousands of people become comfortable in their own skin. 32

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For those that successfully go through this treatment, it really is a modern miracle. However, that's not to say that there aren't risks involved. One of the major medical risks, as Dr. Daniels points out, faces smokers undergoing treatment. “In my practice, I insist that patients quit smoking,” he explains. “Patients who smoke while receiving the relatively high dosages of hormones that are required are much more likely to develop blood clots and deep vein thrombosis, which are both potentially lethal. It's a real hazard.” And that's just on the physical side of the spectrum. Tampering with your body’s hormones can also have a nasty impact on your mind, including “roid rages,” which are huge spikes in libido, as well as an increase in manic or depressive behavior. It sounds terrifying to hear the list of potential side effects, but Dr. Scheperle—being the expert that he is—has the words of wisdom to put our minds at ease. “That's why we don't give this whole cocktail of hormones to the individual at one time,” he says. “We stair-step them up in their therapy gradually and we monitor them. We also try to work with the psychiatrists, so that we can slowly introduce the right dose and build it over time while minimizing that swing of emotions that can be harmful.” Dr. Scheperle's optimism continues to shine through as he begins to talk about how far the treatment has come not just medically, but also in society as a whole. “There's been a large transition in transgender patients because of the fact that gender dysphoria is now seen as a medical condition, whereas before it was designated to be purely psychological. Because of that, more than half of my patients who have had recent surgeries have had a significant portion of the costs covered by insurance companies. It's amazing.”

LIFE GUIDE

This is wonderful news for the transgender community, news that both Dr. Scheperle and Dr. Daniels believe will continue to progress into mainstream society. “I'm very encouraged by all of the recent triumphs,” Dr. Daniels starts. “Look at same-sex marriage. Who would have thought that the law of the land would shift that dramatically? I'm gay and I never thought I'd see it in my lifetime. Now, trans* individuals are a major topic of political discussion and I'm very optimistic that it will be accepted completely sooner rather than later.”

for the next step of the transition. Or if they just need a support system and an outlet to talk, who better? We've always known that medicines are one part, but talk therapy is as important as medicine. So, having both parts of that when unifying an individual really does so much good.” For more information on support groups or starting HRT, you can visit universityclubmedical.com or barnesjewish.org. V

“You're really seeing it in the high schools, I think,” Dr. Scheperle eagerly continues. “High schools today have great support networks for LGBTQ students. This exposure in the early phase of their lives will create a trickle down effect to the parents, the grandparents, and to people who may not really understand it. It gives everybody the opportunity to learn and understand it medically, mentally and physiologically, so that they can sympathize with what these people are going through.” For those looking for advice from the doctors in regards to where you can go for information and who to talk to, a good start would be looking into the comprehensive network of support groups in the St. Louis area. “I think the support groups that are out there are amazing,” Dr. Scheperle continues. “They allow you the opportunity to meet other individuals that have gone through the same things you are going through. It can give you a jump-start and direction that can lead you into an office of treatment experts; it could lead you to talk with a therapist; it can help define the criteria and get the green light

Mark Scheperle, MD Internal Medicine University Club Medical John Daniels, MD Endocrinoligist Barnes Jewish Hospital thevitalVOICE.com

Style

Joss Barton The Art of Fiction and Fashion

January 2017

Style

TEXT KALEIGH JURGENSMEYER ART MARK MOORE

With raw and honest narratives, Joss Barton’s work zooms in on the life living as a trans* woman of color in a world that is at times hostile and at times loving toward her. She’s a writer, an artist, a vintage lover, a south city girl, a news junkie, an activist, and a beautiful human who understands–or seeks to understand–the complexity of human nature, the darkness and lightness within each of us. Growing up in a small, rural Missouri town, the first story Barton wrote was about picking strawberries and blackberries in the fields of her family’s 40-acre farmland. It’s a picturesque image of living the simple life, and although Barton speaks fondly of her childhood, she grew up in a life speckled with existential questions of her own identity. “As a child, I was acutely aware that I was different,” Barton says. “I definitely have vivid memories of feeling that I was a girl. But as I got older, those went to the backburner. I was trying to ignore them, and I was kind of trying to ignore my soul in a way.” Through it all, Barton always wrote. She was writing as soon and she knew how to, from her diary to comic strips. Her mother constantly read to her, and Barton’s love of reading catalyzed her love of writing. After high school, Barton decided to make that passion into a career and pursued a journalism degree at Mizzou. “College was the first time I was able to understand what trans* was and meet trans* people,” she explains. “I had never considered that– what a transition was–but I just started grappling with that, going back and forth, ‘am I trans* woman? Or am I a gay man?’” Barton began actively transitioning in 2013, starting off slowly at first until she eventually living full time as a transgender woman. Since then, Barton believes that her writing has become much more concise, even using her own experiences in her writing. Always drawn to creative writing, Barton is currently working on a book of poetry, fictional prose and short stories. “People around me give me inspiration,” she explains. “A lot of my work is utilizing memory and the past to craft a new form of narrative that people can grasp.” She also gets inspiration from fashion. “Having a character visually represented is a lot of what the character is. I like incorporating tiny little bits of fashion nuggets.” A huge vintage girl, Barton especially loves styles from the 70s and 80s. Retro 101/Cherry Bomb Vintage is her go-to store for clothing–they have unique pieces all the way back to the 20s. “What I love about older stuff is that no one else is going to be wearing it. I love having something very unique and knowing a piece used to be in someone else’s life.” thevitalVOICE.com

Style

Barton’s current wardrobe has been a few years in the making; her style is self-described as chic-acid femme. She has some of everything–remnants of very masculine clothing to dresses and maxi skirts. Barton loves combining masculine fits with feminine pieces. “Why not wear whatever you want? Switch it up, playing with androgyny is perfect in fashion.” Sifting through her closet, Barton gushes over some of the pieces she’s gathered throughout the years, lighting up with excitement as she describes what she’d pair it with. One of her favorite pieces is a vintage, Charles James jacket. It’s cut for a man, has a great iridescent shell and felt, pattern lining, and is a bit utilitarian. Barton wears it baggy over a dress effortlessly. Barton also adores her men’s Levi jean jacket that she got in college. It has a classic 80s look–not really acid wash but light wash–and looks great with a high-waisted pant and heel. “I love the juxtaposition of clothing,” Barton says. “I love going from nice and classy, very five star restaurant to very raw and edgy, a little slutty, hanging out with my girls on a street corner, smoking a cigarette.” Jewelry, Barton says, is kept simple. A bangle or statement necklace are added touches to pieces. She prefers casual, good pieces that can be mixed with any outfit. Barton admits she goes through shoes quickly, but loves combat boots, a nude heel or flats, and a nice pattern wedge or platform. 36

January 2017

Like fashion, Barton sees her writing as a form of expression and art. She explores real truths in her work, and touches on powerful subjects and topics relevant to our country today. “I center on the contradictions that we live in,” she explains. “They say ‘love your neighbors’ and ‘we’re all Americans,’ but 50 percent of people are welcoming and 50 percent of people don’t want you a part of their civil life. Not in schools, bathrooms, ‘their’ country. To them–to those people–your pure existence is a threat.” Barton, of course, loves to get published, but writes primarily as a path to self-discovery. “I write about my experiences in a very visceral way. I write about a very real reality living under the label of ‘other.’” She describes writing as an almost psychological need, a way to find out things about herself that she didn’t know existed. She writes to find her purpose in the world, and she writes to dissect the joy, darkness and liberation she sees around her. “We all have the capacity for uncompromising empathy and love for other people. We also have capacity for benevolent, dark behavior to others and ourselves. No one is perfect–we’re just trying to do the best we can. But we can’t change the narrative of society and culture until we look into ourselves. And that’s what I’m trying to do with my writing.” V

Style

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Queens, Out Siren and Pinko sashay South 38

TEXT BRANDON SHELDRAKE ART MARK MOORE January 2017

ENTERTAINMENT

Attention everyone—this is not a drill—Glitterbomb productions is officially no more, and the end of an era has begun. Having closed out their events-based company this past December with their U*Can*Dance dance party at JJ’s Clubhouse, co-creator Tyler Cross and his partner Jarrod Stetina have ended their long-time tradition of inspiring new and innovative drag—and throwing unforgettable parties—here in the St. Louis. But fear not, if you could not attend their last Glitterbomb production, the couple will be hosting a benefit show January 20th. And based on what we know, we can definitely say it will be one hell of a way to bring in the New Year. First off, Cross’s stage name is Siren, and Stetina is known around town as Pinko. And for those who may be unfamiliar with their work, these two passionate performers are two-thirds the genius behind Glitterbomb productions. Created in 2006 by Siren and DJ Charlie Buttons—who has since moved to Chicago—Glitterbomb productions is a fiercely dedicated events company that has brought St. Louis some of the most interesting and unique drag for the past nine years. Unfortunately for us, Siren and Pinko have decided to take the party to the South to New Orleans, hoping that a change in scenery will recharge their creativity. In catching up with this dynamic duo before they move, we just had to ask: What’s next? “Glitterbomb will be done—bookend to bookend,” Siren says. “And once we get to New Orleans, we will take a moment to refresh and get adjusted. We are incredibly interested in getting involved with the drag community there. It is very decentralized and open to the style of drag we each like to perform. But we will not be continuing with Glitterbomb productions.” And so the end of a legacy is imminent. However, having hosted a variety of talent and having fostered new talent, the Glitterbomb family is an extensive network of deejays, drag queens, go-go dancers, and bio queens. Though there is no official Glitterbomb family tree, it is one that extends well beyond the physical borders of St. Louis. “It’s a loose affiliation,” Pinko explains. “Over the years, so many people have come and gone. More than anything, we were a medium for performers who were starting out to get a foot in the door, and eventually get to a place they wanted to be. Maybe there is someone locally who is willing to step into the role and continue the tradition. “We booked queens who’d performed for six weeks with queens who’d worked for six years,” Siren notes. “We were a launch pad for many different kinds of performers. There are so many people we’ve worked with that I would love to see pick up the mantle, but the culture is very different now. It has become challenging for us to continue doing what we do because, all of the sudden, it is not the right cultural time or environment.”

Perhaps the ever-changing nature of their business is what propelled them to take on such a city like New Orleans, a city with a dynamic and constantly progressive drag culture. “It is a very transient place where people are constantly coming and going,” Pinko says. “It is very different from St. Louis because there is a constant traffic of people and ideas, and a sense of openness to try new things.” “I’ve definitely been the driving force behind us moving to New Orleans,” Siren laughs. “I did my first adult solo vacation there, and have been traveling back and forth with work. In some ways I think I loved it before I even saw it, and then seeing it just confirmed those feelings.” It is not as easy as these two make it seem though. Besides the obvious drawback of financing such a move, there are the emotional tolls of parting ways with the familiarity of St. Louis and the loved ones it encompasses. As Tyler puts it, “We’ll probably have a collective bar cry before we head out.” Moreover, there is the fear of entering a new drag scene. “I’m most worried about being ‘outweirded,’ I guess,” Pinko laughs. “Like everything I do will just be ho-hum.” Nonetheless, both Siren and Pinko are anxiously anticipating their departure this month, as it signifies a new beginning in both their personal and professional lives. In looking back, we asked them what advice could they impart on the newer generation of drag queens starting out in St. Louis. “I’ve always judged my success based on the performance side of my drag,” Siren says. “The more artistically true I am to myself, the more successful I feel. You cannot measure personal success off of dollar bills. Be true to who you are and develop your own style.” V

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ENTERTAINMENT

ST. LOUIS EFFORT FOR AIDS PRESENTS:

worldAIDS DAY

January 2017

ART KEVIN SCHMIDT PLACE MISSOURI HISTORY MUSEUM

Saint Louis Effort For AIDS and Missouri History Museum hosted World AIDS Day, a day to remember those living with HIV/ AIDS and those we have lost to the disease. The day included a screening of "deepsouth", HIV testing, health insurance enrollment, vendor tables, breakout sessions and screenings of Deepsouth, which included a Q&A with Joshua Alexander, one of the people featured in the film.

ENTERTAINMENT

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ENTERTAINMENT

PEARL VODKA AND VITAL VOICE PRESENT:

Toysfortots ART KEVIN SCHMIDT PLACE BISTRO 303

Pearl Vodka & Vital VOICE kicked off the holiday season with an annual Toys for Tots drive at Bistro 303. U.S. Marines were on hand to collect toys and donations, and elves were there for, well, your viewing pleasure. Hosted by Genewa Stanwyck with karaoke by DJ Chad Slater, the event rang in the Christmas season with a perfect combination of a great party, a greater charity, and those quintessential men uniform.

January 2017

ENTERTAINMENT

thevitalVOICE.com

January 2017

s t l e b t a e s r u HT yo

G n I e N t s Y a P F It M U a B e b o t g n i o g s ’

From people watching and dancing to whatever the Eve brings, you’ll find the hottest, thumpin’ clubs in The Grove, CWE and Soulard. Join the party and see why The Advocate called St. Louis “…one of the gayest cities in America.” See you soon. Check out our impressive packages at explorestlouis.com/LGBT

Open November Enrollment 1 January 31

63101

ACCESS and Explore your Heath Insurance Options

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