December 2010 by The Vital Voice Magazine

holiGAY

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December 2010

Gossip Gays Fancy, Festive & Fabulous

1 out of ten Once More Around The Sun

Queer

Cheer

How Our Families Celebrate

CHEAP CHIC HOLIDAY DECOR Using What You Got

This issue is dedicated to

www.growingamericanyouth.org

Complimentary Copy

‘ n THiS ISSUE

Volume 11, Issue 12 ONLINE thevitalvoice.com facebook.com/VitalVOICE twitter.com/VitalVOICEmag youtube.com/TheVitalVISION ADVERTISING VitalVOICEmag@gmail.com CONTACT Vital VOICE Magazine 4579 Laclede Avenue #268 Saint Louis, MO 63108 VitalVOICEmag@gmail.com 314.256.1196

Queer Cheer

Great Holiday Gifts

Once More Around The Sun

Cheap Chic Holiday Decor

Gossip Gays

Scene & Styling

Non-profit of the Month

Index Darin Slyman – Publisher/Editor vitalvoicemag@gmail.com Jeff Kapfer – Art Director design@thevitalvoice.com Colin Murphy – Senior Writer/Web Editor colin_murphy@sbcglobal.net Drew Baumgartner – Marketing/Vital VISION Dbaumgartner05@gmail.com Kristen Goodman – Business Director kristengoodman@ymail.com Dieta Pepsi – On Air Hostess/Vital VISION dietapepsi@gmail.com Sydney Britt Eisenstein – Fashion Editor sydney.eisenstein@gmail.com

Contributors Colin Murphy – Writer Rajeev Tailor – Writer Joshua Barton – Writer Sydney Britt Eisenstein – Writer Darin Slyman – Photography Robert L Brown – Photography Jacob Laws – Art Direction

ADVISORY BOARD William A. Donius Thom Halter Colin Murphy Jay Perez Pam Schneider Kellie Trivers Sharon Tucci

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Happy HoliGAYS St. Louis! Indeed, It’s the most wonderful time of the year. And speaking of the year—I cannot believe how fast 2010 has blown by. It was in January that we re-launched Vital VOICE as a magazine format and I must say—those first few months were scary. Would you like this new format? Would you support this new direction? I’m sure that most of the community was skeptical about the change. But over time, I’ve seen both the LGBT community and our straight friends come to embrace our new style and direction. I personally cannot thank you enough and I am truly grateful to all of our advertisers who have supported us this past year. Most importantly, I am thankful for my amazing staff for all of their hard work and patience in putting up with my crazy and creative self. I am forever indebted to you! With the year ahead, we have so much to look forward to. First and foremost will be our new website at thevitalvoice.com. This new version will be user-friendly and provide you with more current and up to date stories, videos, a calendar of events, promotions, and the brand new V List. The V List will be your directory of resources for the LGBT community. Along with the new website we want to continue to expand our print publication. Therefore, I ask you St. Louis—what have you liked this past year? What should we omit from the magazine? What should we add? Please submit your opinion to vitalvoicemag@gmail.com. We are all ears! St. Louis, we do this for you—so I ask you and encourage you to get involved. Let your friends and family know about Vital VOICE. With more Businesses and people involved in our company, the more we can bring you. I love St. Louis and my community. Accordingly, we want to grow and continue to showcase, promote and celebrate everything that is awesome about the Gateway City rainbow.

Until next year, Happy HoliGAYS! Darin Slyman, Publisher

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CHEER

How Our Families Celebrate

Written By Joshua Barton Photography by Darin Slyman

Holidays are our creations. They are our human crafts. Our societies are built upon these rituals of remembrance and reverence. These traditions celebrate the conditions of life and the bonds we forge while on this pilgrimage. As queers, we sometimes have to create our own holidays. We find souls who can relate to our special brand of experiences and struggles and we celebrate life and love and joy with them. So in that spirit, we decided to sit down with five very unique families and discuss their lives and how they intend to express their very own queer cheer.

Phillip Marks & Philip Rodriguez Greetings from Gay Gentrification! Yes gurl, the gays are becoming homeowners with South City quickly becoming home to some of St. Louis’ more unique homosexuals. Yes, Phil and Phill are an interracial gay male couple. Yes, they are the parents to two Jewish corgis: Noah and Isaac. “My unexpected pregnancy,” says Phil Marks with a grin. And yes, they enjoy a drink or two or three. “I love entertaining with cocktails,” confesses Phil Rodriguez who has suddenly conjured up the perfection of margarita nectar.

Yes, our couple are gentlemen of “mutual affection” but they are also loving partners who hold New Years Eve as one of the most important days of their year. Rodriguez explains that the two celebrate the sacred dawn with family and friends either in Austin or Brownsville, Texas.

The gays throw the best parties and these two follow suit in an intimate celebration with a traditional white party for the New Year. Rodriguez describes the event as a “traveling party” and both men admit that their gatherings attract an eclectic group of homo-bi-hetero and trans of all shades.

Sara, Shanon & Jackson Hamilton Norman Rockwell would have appreciated a wholesome lesbian family like the Hamiltons. This couple began their holiday season with Halloween where they dressed Jackson up as a baby Dracula. “It was the first year we took him out trick-o-treating,” says Sara. Sara and Shanon Hamilton are lesbian parents whose respctive families have also demonstrated the beautiful ability to love queer daughters. “Both of our families are very accepting,” says Shanon. “They were more excited about us getting pregnant than maybe we were!” The women say their holiday season is generally spent between the families where baby Jackson can be found enjoying simple pleasures such as jealous grandparents, Christmas ornaments and wrapping paper. However, this year the two say they will try to get both families to celebrate the holiday together inside their home. “We are a unit,” says Sara. “We are THE Hamiltons!”

Stacy Brinkley & Debbie Swain In America, our holidays are lost in a flood of commercial advertisements and unfettered consumerism but for Stacey Brinkley and Debbie Swain the horrors of the American strip mall don’t mean a thing. “We don’t like the commercialism of Christmas and we don’t buy each other gifts,” says Debbie. The women say that birthdays have become sacred in their home and that winter holidays are reserved for themselves. They turn off their cell phones and lounge around in their pajamas enjoying moments of freedom. “It brings us closer,” says Stacy. “We stop the world and concentrate on us.” Debbie hails from the U.K. and so she always plans a traditional English Christmas lunch with plenty of music, food and wine on Christmas day. “I’m not really religious but I’ll give thanks for the harvest any day!” says Debbie.

Colleen, Rob & PJ Carlton “He is a little chunk of love,” says Colleen Carlton. Her voice beams with joy while Rob plays with their two-month-old son PJ. The Carlton’s are a modern family and PJ is one special guy. “He was born of our heart,” says Colleen who knows YOU know that her son is adopted, “Family for us is surrounding yourself with people that bring you joy and love in your life.” The couple are long time allies of the queer community and are active supporters of Growing American Youth. Colleen and Rob chose adoption in the same vein of many other queer parents: They wanted to raise a family. In return, PJ became the answer and the source of his very own personal holiday. “We plan on throwing him a forever family party,” says Colleen who explains that forever family parties are a way to commemorate PJ’s entrance into their lives through legal adoption. Colleen says she knows PJ will grow to know how special he is around this time of year and that he has a huge extended family that loves him unconditionally. “On Christmas day,” says Colleen, “He’ll know it is all about family.”

The House of Mazzaratie The life of the American queer has never been easy. We lose our homes. We cry. We fight. We fail. We find sanctuary. Our lives are held by strands of love that DNA could never replicate. The bigots know this and that is why they fear us. The bonds that tie together the House of Mazzaratie are stronger than any genetic code. This “house” is composed of about 40 active members across the country who have made a life-long commitment to a surrogate family. Current matriarch Danny “Pebbles” Mazzaratie is working to honor the legacy of late Mazzaratie founder Brieshia A. Mazzaratie through the lives of her 29 children. “She created this amazing bond, this

family,” says Danny. “Our focus is that we do not dishonor her name and we make sure the traditions she spawned with us are kept going and passed on to the other children in our family.” These children are queer and black and beautiful. They come to Danny looking for the warmth and the safety of momma’s house and they find hidden strength within themselves. The house gives them identity and through that identity they find power.

laughter. Danny cooks while the sisters and brothers kiki and remember the past year’s up and downs. “It is always a kiki,” says Danny. “We laugh, we share our stories and we have a good time.” The holidays are not much different than a typical Sunday dinner for the Mazzaraties.

“We’re cut from the same cloth,” explains Teonia Mazzaratie. “We’ve all gone through the same experiences, the same hardships and so the Mazzaraties are my real family.”

“That was my mother’s big thing,” says Danny. “We always got together for Sunday dinners and if you had a problem with anyone in the house you had better figure it out by Sunday because it was expected that you were to be there.”

A traditional holiday in the house always includes a long day of food and

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Once More Around the Sun

1 Out of 10 Ain’t Bad!

Written by Colin Murphy – Senior Writer/Web Editor As we spin once more around the sun, it is only appropriate to pause and reflect on the year that was. For if anything—2010 was a mixed bag for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

We celebrated Pridefest and inaugurated “Out at the Ballpark” at Busch Stadium.

Despite the fact that LGBT rights under President Obama continued to advance at a slow pace, there were some milestones: In April Obama mandated that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to same sex couples of gays and lesbians—and in June the 2010 Pride Reception was held at the White House where St. Louis’ own PROMO and Growing American Youth were among the exclusive guests.

We filled a week of events to celebrate the martyred Harvey Milk’s 80th Birthday and marched from The Grove to City Hall.

Still 2010 will likely be remembered more for its setbacks rather than its victories: We celebrated the overturning of California’s Proposition 8 and the military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) policy only to feel the sting of having those court decisions staid and the further frustration of a government appeal steeped in constitutional process. What’s more—we watched with trepidation the November landslide which swept Republicans into power from State Houses and Governorships to the U.S. House. So barring any last-minute boldness on the part of a lame duck Congress—our community has resigned itself to seeing little action on the Federal Employment Nondiscrimination Act, DADT or any pro-equality legislation until at least 2013.

Team St. Louis did us proud at Gay Games VIII in Cologne and The Gateway Regional Rodeo proved resilient in the rain.

We embraced the “I Care! Campaign” and in striking numbers our community turned out in response to the tragic teen suicides of LGBT youth and marched by candlelight, “Together, Not Alone.” The St. Louis Gay History Project was launched to ensure our community never forgets—and Project Safe Harbor was formed to address the needs of homeless LGBT youth too often forgotten. Indeed from Lobby Day in Jefferson City to the everyday act of coming together as a community—St. Louis LGBTers did great things this year—far too many to list. So once more around the sun, my friends—let’s do it again in 2011. v

We’ve seen better years. That’s for certain. But despite lackluster accomplishments at the national level, the St. Louis LGBT community has a lot to celebrate: Vital VOICE Magazine was re-launched and rebranded, “Vital VISION” was born and St. Louis caught Ga Ga fever. We counter-protested the Westboro Baptist Church and the National Organization for Marriage. We answered Project St. Louis’ call and let our silent protest be heard as community members of every stripe were photographed along with countless allies, including Mayor Slay. St. Louis added Gender Identity to the city’s Nondiscrimination Policy and the first Trans* Family Picnic was held. We applauded Joan Lipkin’s “The State of Marriage” and this year’s five buses that made the trip from St. Louis to Iowa City bringing the total to nearly-90 area same sex couples who’ve legally tied the knot in the Hawkeye State.

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CHEAP CHIC HOLIDAY DECOR Using what you got! Written by Raj Tailor Photography by Raj Tailor

When it comes to decorating for the holidays this year are you more “Bah! Humbug!” than “Falalala”? Are you sick of lugging up all that old holiday paraphernalia you’ve seen year after year? Maybe you’re thinking going out and buying new holiday decorations might not be the best use of your cash at the moment? Well, I have a few ideas that might invigorate your holiday decorating spirit. With some creative repurposing, just a little effort and even less money, you can infuse your living space with fun, fresh and surprisingly beautiful holiday décor. Furthermore, by using the stuff you already have, you’ll be saving some green while also being green.

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Holiday Tree Reimagined, Reinvented. WHAT:

Every time I pass by a Christmas tree lot, I keep asking myself, “Why are we still doing this?” And the artificial tree alterative is, well, artificial. I say, let’s back up, free the tree from its literal symbolism and have some fun. My ladder tree is a playful and clever take on the traditional tree. And its abstract nature liberates it from any one particular faith. So, whatever you believe, this is a tree you can have!

HOW:

All I did was borrow a ladder (I snagged an aluminum one but an old wooden one would be even better) and strung some holiday lights artfully on it. I like these lights with their big, round bulbs but use whatever you have (non-blinking, please!). For my ornaments, I took some burnt out light bulbs that were waiting to be recycled and painted stripes using ordinary craft paint. I like mixing different types of bulbs but, once again, use whatever you have. Glitter sprinkled on the paint before it dries would be fun too!

COST:

Ladder (borrowed) FREE Lights (had ‘em) FREE Light bulbs (saved burnt out ones) FREE Craft paint (.99 a bottle) $4.30 String/dental floss (had it) FREE

TOTAL:

$4.30

Holiday Centerpiece A Study in Repurposing.

WHAT:

Tabletop décor actually has a tough job. It is meant to impress your guests while also making them feel comfortable. I think my holiday centerpiece does that quite well. Its iced over look mixed with the warm glow of candlelight conveys the mood of the season. Its vibe is effortless, elegant and special.

HOW:

I took a bag of mixed fruit from the grocery store, some stemware and clear votive holders I already had and brushed them all with some lightly beaten egg whites. Then I sprinkled them with regular table sugar to create an even coating. Then after it all dried (takes only a few minutes), I arranged the objects on my table (inverting the stemware to create a little platform for tea light candles). Light your tea lights, and voila! Instant atmosphere. If you’re nervous about separating eggs, you can find powdered egg whites in the baking aisle of the grocery store. And the good news is clean up is a breeze: just soak everything in water to dissolve the sugar coating. If you used the pasteurized powdered egg white powder, even the fruit can be washed off and eaten!

COST:

Glassware (had ‘em) Bag of mixed fresh fruit Sugar (had it) Tea lights (about .10 each) Eggs (about .36 each)

FREE $6.48 FREE $1.08 $.72

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$8.28

Holiday Wreath Nothing becomes something!

WHAT:

A holiday wreath can be more than just a mishmash of traditional holiday symbols, textures and colors. It can be your personal statement! I like wreaths composed of the unexpected. Keep a defined color or pattern palette for a high design, modern look. Dig out a box of last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s holiday cards or scraps of leftover gift wrapâ&#x20AC;Ś. be creative and use what you have! I used some leftover copies of the June issue of the Vital Voice.

HOW:

I divided and cut several covers of the magazine into four equal rectangles. A magazine cover works well since it is a little thicker than regular paper, Then, I placed a salad plate upside down on the counter to use as a guide. I fanned out the cut out sections around the plate, slightly overlapping until the entire wreath was formed. When I was happy with the arrangement, using a glue stick, I affixed the overlapping sections to each other. The bow was made using two small strips of bubble wrap. I wanted the wreath to float off the door, so I just sliced up a cardboard tube from a used up roll of paper towels and glued them to the back, spaced evenly.

COST: Vital Voice Covers (Thanks Darin!) Glue Stick (had it) Bubble wrap scraps (had it) Cardboard paper towel tube (had it)

FREE FREE FREE FREE

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FREE!



  

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Contact vitalvoicemag@gmail.com 314.256.1196

Madeleine (left) Haute Hippie dress and belt Carmen Marc Valvo studded balero Christian Louboutin suede heels Vintage hat from TFA Devon (right) Robert Rodrieugez feather skirt Diane von Furstenburg jacket Christian Louboutin heels Barrera necklace Arnes (left on page 25) Theory pants Robert Graham blazer The 10 Tie Co. bowtie Salvatore Ferragamo loafers Ray-Ban James (right on page 25) Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jeans Robert Graham tuxedo blazer Salvatore Ferragamo tuxedo shoes The 10 Tie Co. bowtie Robert Graham shirt Classic aviators Theory overcoat Robert Graham shirt 31

I Care! Campaign Kickoff William Kerr Foundation November 14, 2010 www.facebook.com/i-care

The I Care! Campaign Kickoff was for everybody in the St. Louis Metropolitan Area (STL) who cares about gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex and ally issues. These issues include Suicide, Homelessness, HIV/AIDS Education and Prevention, Older Adults, and Hate Crimes. The I Care! Campaign will serve as an informational network to direct those in distress to the appropriate organization.

Scene Styling

Choice Art

Concrete Ocean Contemporary Art Gallery November 6, 2010 plannedparenthood.org Choice Art was hosted by Planned Parenthood’s FriendsbyChoice group. It was an event featuring St. Louis artists and a chance for supporters to add to – or start – their art collections. Planned Parenthood’s mission is to provide, protect and support reproductive rights and services. FriendsbyChoice’s goal is to advance Planned Parenthood’s mission and services throughout the community and be a voice of truth and reason.

Vital VOICE dedicates this issue to our Non-profit of the month

Growing American Youth Growing American Youth is social support organization for youth, 21 and under who may identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning. Youth served come from throughout the Metropolitan area, including St. Charles and Illinois. Today’s youth worry about school, home life, friends and more. They struggle with major life choices in areas rarely seen. They decide how they want to present, with whom they choose to spend time, and even when and if they will reach out for support when needed. We hear their struggles. LGBTQ youth can be alienated by classmates and not able to be themselves at home. These youth face higher percentages of suicide, self-harm, depression and self-loathing. They feel alone, powerless and unloved. Isolation becomes commonplace and the results rarely lead to finding support or positive role models. Growing American Youth creates opportunities for youth to connect with each other. It is in this place when a renewed energy can emerge and youth grow in incredible ways. We have seen it throughout our 30 year history and in fact, we see it every week! Growing American Youth gives these youth hope and shows them respect. We hold them in the highest regard and give them a safe space to be themselves. Positive shifts can save lives and allow youth to see their bright futures. 2010 has been big year for Growing American Youth and we are very appreciative of all of the community support. To some folks we are the 300 youth marchers in the Pride Parade; others know of our annual youth prom and most people know of our ongoing support to youth. We see LGBTQ youth as brilliant, talented and spirited. Sometimes that brilliance is masked and needs encouragement to surface. This time and energy is well worth the investment.

Growing American Youth hosts weekly youth meetings on Thursdays at Trinity Episcopal Church at 600 N. Euclid. Youth can be their authentic selves, find friends and build community. Peer-to-peer support leads to youth engagement and empowerment. Being social is a great way to build support so we host special events, Sunday Night Socials and more. In January we will add weekly support meetings in St. Charles. 2010 Highlights • Expansion into St. Charles • 300 Youth in the St. Louis Pride Parade • Two youth members attended the LGBT Reception at The White House and met President Obama. • Starting a youth chorus with Gateway Men’s Chorus • 320 Youth at our 6th Annual Out in the City Prom • Together: Not Alone, our local response to the recent youth suicides

LEARN HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT LGBTQ YOUTH! To volunteer and to make a contribution: www.growingamericanyouth.org 314-821-3524 ext 3 growingamericanyouth@gmail.com Mailing address: PO Box 11785 St. Louis, MO 63105

PRESENTS

Saturday, January 15 LUMEN

2201 Locust Street in Downtown St. Louis

7pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Midnight

Open Bar until 9pm

30 years of gay media, 12 amazing issues of Vital VOICE Magazine, ONE unforgettable night! $25 General Admission

21+ w/ID.

Tickets available at Brown Paper Tickets

brownpapertickets.com/event/138589 This event will sell out! Join us for the official after party at this event benefits SAGE