The Alchemist Weekly 09.14.10

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"Everyday I get in the queue." -Pete

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 141:10• SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

SYMPOSIUM symposium The Game

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 141:10•SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

CONTENT S Opi n i on s a n d Editor ia ls , b e t h e y ours or yours , t h i s i s wh e re th e y be.

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Alchy Astrologer

V ERDIC T

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We ’ l l b e t h e judge. You be th e jur y...you tr us t us r ig h t?

Darkside

W ORD

J o u r n a l i st s c a l l th e m f e a ture s; we say it's th e word.

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Gus and the bus

LITERATI

Am a t e u r p ro se, poetr y and fi c t i on st i l l h a s a h om e.

10 Detective Siempre 11 12

Cro s s wo rd

B U MP

I t ' s t h e c alendar of al l t h i n g s A l b a ny, Cor v a l lis , L e b a n on , a nd P h ilom a th .

The Alchemist welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to our Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. YOUR VOICE: letters@thealchemistweekly.com YOUR SCOOPS: news@thealchemistweekly.com YOUR WORDS: submissions@thealchemistweekly.com CONTACT US: 541.760.9207 editor@thealchemistweekly.com calendar@thealchemistweekly.com ads@thealchemistweekly.com

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Editorial Tag Team Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors T. Clarence, Dirtstir, Josh Goller, Mort Piripi, Joel Rea, Bryan Smith, Ricky Zipp

Art

voice

VOIC E

Editorial

Art Director Courtney Clenney Cover Illustration by Patricia Smith Back Cover Illustration by Patricia Smith

What Patricia says about the covers: “Front Cover is the Big Hair with Birdie. I’ve been fascinated with 17th Century European style of dress; especially the French. The big powdered wigs, incredibly constructed dress (corsets and 10-ft in circumference skirt hoops!), and the not-so-safe heavy powder makeup. Back in 1994, I drew up a piece (now, hanging in our dining room), called “Three Women with Big Hair” in which I took 17th Century elements and put them onto modern women enjoying a beer. Ever since, I’ve been drawing these women up. And this is my latest “women with big hair”. In this case, a birdcage as part of the hair. This one is number one of three. Back cover is Space Squad!! I just needed to draw up a sci fi themed piece and the first thought that came into my head was, “astro kitties and a bunny with a jet pack”. And here it is. Decided to make a series out of this - a whole lot of ‘em, too. So far, I’ve come up with six different new sketches.”

Advertising

Account Executive Noah Stroup Sales Representatives Luke Thomas, Lisa Weller

Business

Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339

Have you just lost it? If you’re not familiar with the game, these are the rules: 1. If you are reading this, you are automatically playing The Game, and you cannot quit. 2. Every time you think of The Game, you lose, and must announce “I Lose.” 3. There is no winning The Game. Many have noticed that this “game” is a mind virus. “Mind viruses” are nothing new, nor are they necessarily as sinister as the name implies. A “mind virus” is any thought or idea that perpetuates itself through the mediums of thought and communication. Language itself is a “mind virus” in just the same way. So is the idea of work. So is the idea of man, and woman. Sky, Earth, Space, Universe, Duty, Love, Boyfriend, Shoes, God, Atheism, and so on- I’m sure you get the picture. In fact, “picture” is exactly all there is to get. There’s quite a philosophical rabbit hole beneath the implications of the nature of “mind viruses” and what kind of reality might lie behind them. But for the sake clarity, I don’t want to go there in a direct fashion. The truth is, we don’t (and can never) know the true substance of anything that we encounter. But when we investigate phenomena, what we do find out is what that thing does- how it behaves, and how we interact with it. The colloquial term “mind virus” is appropriate in that it illustrates the fact that self-perpetuating ideas behave in a fashion similar to life forms. Just like any plant or animal or microbe, each species or strain acts in different ways upon its environment. The environment of a mind virus is the human mind. I find it valuable to pay attention to the ideas the live in my mind, and investigate what they do to my mind. Why? Consider, for example, what this random-seeming quote (from the song I happen to be listening to) does to this discussion: “How can we expect to build a boat with seagulls running everything?” Contrast that with “Let sleeping dogs lie.” Every little thing has its effect. “The Game” is an excellent example of a mind virus designed and perpetuated by victims of abusive mind viruses. Unless you are completely immersed in denial, you know that we live in a society/system that can be abusive to the environment of the mind (not to mention the biosphere) to an unprecedented degree. As I said, the rules (and name) of “The Game” are an expression of frustration. “The Game” itself is not that big of a deal. Most people have probably never even heard of it, and of those that have, not many practice it. But I think “The Game” is a good example, a microcosm, of something much larger that operates in the same way. “The Game” is meant to be funny, but it’s not genuine humor. Its humor is the cynicism of an inmate: it is a (“the”) game that can only be lost at. What other Big Game can you think of that leads to nothing but loss...? That depends on your perspective/interpretation of life, doesn’t it? Interpretations and perspectives are created when the mind selects information from its limited library of coherent experiences and ideas (mind viruses), and the imagination to assemble them into the form of a new story, idea, “mind virus.” Here’s one: “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” Here’s another: “All existence is pure joy.” The Game is designed to perpetuate the interpretation that generated it. The nature of life is such that everything you think and do is practice. The more you think something or do something, the easier it becomes, and the more you tend to gravitate towards that thought or action. The rules of The Game state that each time The Game is thought of, you lose. It is a yogic (meditative) method for practicing the thought and action of victim-hood. Consider which other commonly circulated ideas do the same thing. Consider even the comforting ones: victimhood can be a comforting idea because it removes your responsibility. What gives all mind viruses their life, their energy, is the human imagination. The imagination keeps the game’s rules intact. The imagination keeps all laws intact. Consider which is truly subordinate, and which is the master. -Bryan Smith think@thealchemistweekly.com

Alchemist Mission

As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves. The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.

SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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D I Rstir T

C O RVAvanities LLIS

All, Nothing, or No Such Thing

Wanting to avoid plagiarism, I asked the staff of the Alchemist to help me figure it out and was given links to a couple of very helpful articles. I consider DIRTSTIR my personal commentary, sometimes satirical, critical or complimentary, that hopefully will get people to consume information from other sources as they further investigate topics that arise in DIRTSTIR, and I have no intention to deny anyone credit or profit from their works. If anything, I want people to read more on the subject or issue(s) I comment on. I read this nolo.com article (“The ‘Fair Use’ Rule: When Use of Copyrighted Material is Acceptable”) and think you should too. I think I clear the five rules suggested in the article. DIRTSTIR is a unique interpretation of events, and quotes are used to demonstrate my own notions aren’t just pulled out of my ass. If anything, I want people to take in a variety of media to collect the knowledge allowing them to make more intelligent and informed decisions. I don’t use the lion’s share or the best parts, and include whatever source so others may review them. Then I went to Plagiarism.org and read page after digital page to be reminded plagiarism is using someone’s whatever counts as original idea without saying who originated the idea isn’t OK. Something copyrighted may also require permission (or payola to grease the wheels). Please, I don’t know how to reword this, but the FAQ’s at Plagiarism. org say one may use without fear of reprisal, “Facts that are not the result of original research (such as the fact that there are fifty U.S. states, or that carrots contain Vitamin A)”. Do I list the source here, at the end of the quote, even though I have already mentioned the source twice? Truly, I am confused. At what point does a concept derivative of ANY other information become “original”? To be extreme, how can anything be original when it is composed of elements previously in existence? To go even further, by recording one’s ideas in a format that was preexisting, like the English language, is one plagiarizing? We cannot make matter, and the adage, “There’s nothing new under the sun,” generally runs true. From one original event that occurred an eternity ago, all other things are derived. Or, I can argue that everything that ever happens is an original event or idea because it is the only moment in time those exact and innumerable conditions and elements will coincide. A losing argument, because logic is nothing in the face of lucre.

How Does One Say...?

Then an iceberg is reported to be 184 square kilometers in diameter. And somewhere between 11 and 16 million Americans served in World War II and somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-400 medals of honor were awarded (about 40,000:1). The current conflicts( Iraq and Afghanistan)...man. Somewhere between 400,000 and 1.3 million have served and eight medals of honor have been issued (50,000-160.000:1). I read around 20 articles, reports, sites for this info. Who do I credit? Congratulations to the Democratic Party of Oregon for losing Dan Rayfield my vote by presenting elections propaganda as a publication. Tell me, you asses (Get it? The Democratic donkey?), can you honestly tell me heading Rayfield’s material with “MidValley Review” isn’t deceptive? I can see it now. “Gosh,” says the spin doctors. “We meant it to look like a magazine, but we didn’t think anyone would think it looked like a magazine!” Didn’t your mothers tell you? “Just ‘cause someone else does it doesn’t make it OK.” And a sheriff hopes some kids take their jail lesson as a “stepping block and not a stumbling stone.” I read this same statement on a dozen different sites. Who gets credit? -tcJ dirtstirreply@gmail.com <mailto:dirtstirreply@gmail.com>

UP ON ON THE ROOF

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“Where the back alley Thurs. September 16th. 6 pm meets the high road.” *Weather Permitting

The Kindreds Acoustic

Sat. September 18th. 6pm Dave and Jessica Acoustic

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214 SW 2nd Street Behind the Downtown American Dream Pizza 753-7373

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LETTERS

[In response to last week's Symposium]

Here’s my view: “purpose” is an idea generated by the rational mind. In other words, it’s a story we tell ourselves. Stories are ways of representing the behavioural characteristics of reality. The power of rational conception is limited. The characteristics of reality are unlimited and can only be incompletely or inconsistently described with rational thought. When people ask for the meaning/purpose/reason for life, it is easy to respond with more stories, such as “to be happy” “to do what you love” “to be productive” “to follow your dreams” “to gratify your senses” “to masturbate the entire world with high tech fantasy-machines.” But when I see someone earnestly asking “no, seriously guys, what is it REALLY?” I see someone asking for the actual truth behind the story. People are baffled by the question because people search for the answer in the same dimension as the question. It’s like a 2D life-form trying to grasp the 3rd dimension with 2D thinking. Or it’s like someone trying to understand parenthood by reading a book on parenthood without actually having a child. Consider this idea: a tree never questions the purpose of its existence because it knows it already. This is not a knowledge which comes from thinking, but the knowledge which is synonymous with Being or Doing. Most people are under the impression that in order to do something meaningfully/purposefully/intentionally, you must know why you are doing it. Consult a tree, and you might find that this idea is nonsense. Why are we here? Why is a tree here? Consider what it does and not why. Consider what you do. Not what you’re “supposed to” do, or what you’ve been told you do, but what you do when heated by the energy of love. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under will. ~Bryan Smith

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O ' P I N pints ING

The Alchemist Astrologer

Beer, Life and Weasels

Blame the stars, not yourself

   ARIES

(March 21 – April 20) Now is an opportune time to start Craig’s Listing all of the furniture you picked up on the side of the street in June. Bonus points if you can sell it back to the original owners.

TAURUS

(April 21 – May 21) It’s not too late to have a summer fling – you just need to lower your standards.

GEMINI

(May 22 – June 21) Bomb’s Away got a new look this summer; maybe you should too. It’s never too early to start bringing back Crocs. (If you didn’t know these were now passé, then you definitely need a new look).

   CANCER

( June 22 – July 22) You might want to think about not getting drunk before work. Mostly because it’s more fun to drink during!

LEO

( July 23 – August 21) Do not feel guilty about despising the people that camp out with 8-person tents, movie projectors and hair dryers. Do worry that they are taking over the world (or at least the coast).

VIRGO

(August 22 – September 23) Watch out for karmic bug bites.

Surrounded by friends down at Squirrel’s I looked into my beer, took a deep pull, savored, sighed and realized just how good life is. Without getting to deep in the philosophical pool of life, of which I definitely need water wings to play in, let me try to clarify that it really is about the beer. Although this particular beer, not really the one physically in my glass last night, but really the beer representing a larger picture that has dominated a big amount of my time and concern for the last 12 months. As I consumed last night’s pint of beer the bitter sweet flavor comes not by way of hop and by malt but by the nature of life and the funny ways it presents itself. The beer we are discussing has many names: “Mort’s Beer” and “The Weasel” are two circulating in the home-brewing community. Commercially, it is a beer brewed by Ninkasi Brewing Company and they call it Best in Show, Weizelwizen, German wheat ale. It’s a 30 barrel batch of Mort and Sue Piripi’s 5 gallon version. It currently is available on draft at many local pubs and soon to be released 22 oz. bottles. This particular beer in my glass is the end result of a concept of mine and the dream of many home-brewers; to become a commercial brewer and to share a concoction with the world. Last winter, in behalf of the local home brewing club, The Heart of the Valley Home-brewers (HOTV), I made the pitch to a group of Ninkasi peeps. There we were, all 8 or 10 of us sitting around a big, stout-black glass table in their newly constructed conference room just one wall between an ever-expanding brewery. I threw my best ever hard ball. Like a well-practiced batter they swung, hit and knocked my ball out of the park. The Ninkasi crowd went wild and ran easily to home. The concept I pitched was for the best in show beer, from our HOTV’s Oregon Homebrew Festival, held last May, to be brewed and bottled in time to be released for the HOTV Septembeerfest on September 25th; Direct marketing where the official beer of Septembeerfest has a regionally important brewery putting our local beer festival into the hands of beer drinkers up-anddown the Mid-Willamette Valley. Now do you see, young Grasshopper, how the universe really is formed by the foam of your beer? Life really is good! It’s not that easy. Life can be hard and sometimes it can pitch you curve balls. Both teams worked on this project from all aspects. We home-brewers united and with the enticing best in show prize we gathered over 500 entries to our competition (300-325 is typical) and Ninkasi squeezed the brew session into their very busy calendar and put their marketing

   LIBRA

(September 24 – October 23) The stars concede that this month you will either a) win the lottery, b) get hit by lightning or c) receive multiple e-mails advertising Vicodin, Viagra or Wiener schnitzel.

SCORPIO

(October 24 – November 22) Be excited - you will one day have a species of nudibranchs named after you.

SAGITTARIUS

(November 23 – December 22) This month the planets are couch surfing in your lunar house; mischief awaits!

   CAPRICORN

(December 23 – January 20) Mixing business with pleasure is always a bad idea, unless it means you get to bill your office for the lunch meetings at the gentlemen’s club.

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AQUARIUS

( January 21 – February 19) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, so hopefully your parents are supermodel millionaires. Otherwise, tough shit.

PISCES

(February 20 – March 20) It’s still wedding season which means free drinks, bad DJ’s, and an excuse to make out with your uncle’s friend’s second cousin.

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team to work on graphics and logos so that their sales team could get the beer out there, thus moving the 3rd Annual Septembeerfest forward. Brew day occurred in early August with many members of HOTV present, helping out at the brewery and supporting Mort and Sue with their beer. Early last week my Ninkasi rep, Ryan Deiro, delivered a growler to us and had the first taste of the new Ninkasi beer. It’s a German wheat beer just like I remember from a time spent in a Munich beer garden: fresh, straw gold and hazy with a warm bread dough aroma. Lively. Spunky. German wheats are a true delight and perhaps the most berated beer from a hop-lover’s perspective. Even with Widmer’s Hefe dominating presence we Oregonians pride ourselves on hops. Ryan informed me that kegs would be delivered to Corvallis accounts and with a hesitant, yet excited pause, he announced “and I got a Squirrel’s handle!” Getting a handle at Squirrel’s is huge and I know for sure that Ninkasi fans have been disappointed that Squirrels has never had a Ninkasi beer. Ever. The Squirrel’s lineup changes about as often a the Red Sox win a pennant. Rare and long spells between lineup changes. Shortly after the beer began flowing, down at Squirrel’s, I got a call from Julian, the day bar keeper and he had a concerned voice. “I think there’s something wrong with the beer.” Scott Caul, the Septembeerfest Chair, and I called an emergency meeting to be immediately attended at The Downtown Learning Center (Squirrels). Across the beautiful wooden bar was Julian and between Scott and I were two pints full of Weizelwizen. Hesitancy was thick in the air as we approached our glasses. Sniff and quaff. Silence. Julian glancing over at us as he busily scooped ice out of the ice machine and scurried about putting together drink orders and cashing out checks. “Nobody and I mean nobody, likes it!” he again told us as we worked our way down our pints. Scott and I conferred. “I just don’t like wheat beers, but there’s really nothing wrong with it” he told me and I bantered back, “well, maybe it’s not completely to style but it’s not that bad..I actually like it.” But the beer had changed from the growler Ryan had delivered several days before. It was not as precise and there was a pronounced sourness and off-appealing sulfur smell. Sulfur is a chemical component of yeast and some strains produce it more than others. Most of the time this does blow off and disappear with age. As a young beer, Weizelwizen still had some stink. The general agreement we all shared was that for a Ninkasi beer there just wasn’t any “hops” present. Ninkasi is known for their big, bold, malty rich beers with a substantial hop profile and Weizelwizen was coming across just like the Sesame Street song sings, “which one is not like all the others.” In the end Julian shrugged and said, “Hey, I’ll keep it on...I just think it’s a little weird, that’s all.” So, about that beer last night, the one that made me realize just how good life is. Surrounded by friends with my pint of Weizelwizen in front of me I tuned out the bar chatter and gazed deep into the beer. It’s purdy lookin’ with it’s straw colored hues capped by a lacy white pillow of foam. Lively little bubbles popping like asteroids flashing through the night sky. I remove a deep pull from the glass and savor the moment, trying to capture all of the essence at once, trying to understand and trying to be open-minded; looking for clarity. The beer is good. Very good! It’s a beer difficult to explain and describe as it really does not fit a German wheat profile nor the Ninkasi style. There is some tartness, earthy spiciness with light banana and clove esters that are evident without a full cloak of hops covering it; that moist, fresh bread dough breathing life into the beer. Weizelwizen is a lighter-bodied beer than expected but the complexity is coming along and developing. I don’t know if it will ever garnish wide-spread appreciation and sought after status, although it would make my life more full-filled if its chatter became a loud hummmmm in the beer world. Half-way through the pint I’m realizing that I am truly enjoying the beer and all of the uncertainties surrounding it are being washed away by Ninkasi’s effort. Life really is good. Weizelwizen is a specially-brewed beer by Ninkasi for Septembeerfest and it will not be available forever. You can currently find this beer in Corvallis at Squirrel’s, La Rockita, Bombs Away, The Brew Station and Papa’s Pizza. It will be released in 22 oz. bottles in the near future and it is the official beer of Septembeerfest held out at the Benton County Fairgrounds on the 25th of this month. Visit hotv.org/septembeerfest for all festival information. Look to your right for Mort’s story about Weizelwizen.

Independent. Local. Unique.

–Joel Rea (Corvallis Brewing Supply owner) joel@lickspigot.com

Mort meets the goddess Pop goes the Weizelwizen

I half-remembered my Dad home-brewing during the depths of the 80s, and one day in 2007 I thought “why not give it a try?” Sure enough, buried in a corner of the garage under a pile of old carpet was a plastic bucket with a hole in the lid containing his old gear. For the next year, we used this dusty treasure trove to make some pretty mediocre beer in our kitchen, boiling malt extract with hops and adding water to make up the volume. While it passed the friend test (will a friend drink it if it’s free), we were never really happy with it and daydreamed about how we wanted our brews to taste. After moving to Corvallis in 2008, we started brewing using the greater variety of ingredients and equipment available and got involved with the local HOTV home-brew club. I read about beer a lot, brewed a bunch, and became a qualified beer judge. When we finally entered the competition, it was as much out of curiosity as anything else. We were curious to see what other people, knowledgeable people, thought of our beers, we certainly did not expect to come away with two blue ribbons and a Best-of-Show. Our BOS beer was a German style Hefeweizen, a light and fruity wheat-based beer just right for a hot day. We used traditional ingredients and techniques, but our recipe was cobbled together from a couple of different beer books, along with some last minute substitutions when we ran out of preferred ingredients. While we’re pretty entrenched in beer science and lore, our equipment is nothing special. We mash in an orange water cooler and boil in a converted keg. Our beers ferment in glass carboys without temperature control. This sort of stuff is absolutely typical of most home-brewers, but doesn’t lend itself easily to making repeatable brews. This would make it a challenge for the brewers at Ninkasi. I had visited the brewery in Eugene once before, at the end of a long day’s pub crawl. Tooling round on a yellow school bus with thirty other home-brewers tends to fog the memory a bit, but I was sure I didn’t remember the entire carpark looking like an enormous construction yard. As it turns out, they were rebuilding the entire front of the building, and upgrading their brewing system at the same time. A chaotic approach, but the results were well worth it. The place now looks fantastic. The carpark has been transformed into a large patio with attached bar, and the brewery now sports a brandnew computer controlled 60 barrel brewing system. We were escorted past the rubble into the office/conference room. After a bit of friendly back and forth conversation and a little beer tasting (the comment, “This is delicious” from these guys made my week), they asked “So how do you want to brew this?” Holy crap, we were supposed to tell them how to brew a beer? This really threw us for a while, but we eventually got it together. Fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago, me, my wife Sue, and about a dozen of the most interested home-brewers in the club converge at the brewery and proceed to lower the tone a couple of notches. The guys at Ninkasi are hands-down the friendliest, most approachable people I have ever had the good fortune to meet. Despite the fact that they were the ones doing us a huge favour, they treated us like bloody rockstars, opening the bar and bringing in soul food from a local restaurant. The 30-barrel system we were brewing on was a little intimidating, but Patrick the brewhouse manager was there to ensure that everything ran smoothly. Which it did, aside from some heckling from the inebriates on the sideline. The day was a huge amount of fun, culminating with a long chinwag session with a succession of staff and customers. This will be by far the lightest beer ever made at Ninkasi, a mere 28 IBUs and 5% alcohol. It should make a perfect easy drinking beer for a lazy afternoon. The name to look for is Weizelwizen, and it’ll be featured at Septembeerfest on the 25th. -Mort Piripi

The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.

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Take a trip to the Darkside:

Call Sheri Dover (541) 602-6215

The Kids Are All Right

verdict

Humans desire knowledge of their origins. Religion, science, and philosophy have for centuries attempted to explain the origin of life on the macro level, and as individuals we define ourselves by how we got started. The Kids Are All Right is set in motion by this human desire, as Joni (Alice in Wonderland’s Mia Wasikowska) and her brother Laser—children of a lesbian couple—seek out the sperm donor responsible for their existence. Their mothers, the fastidious Nic (Annette Bening) and the scatterbrained Jules ( Julianne Moore), provide a loving and supportive home, despite the occasional marital tiff. Still, the children are drawn to the prospect of meeting their biological father. Who they find is Paul (Mark Ruffalo), an earthy hipster who grows organic vegetables for the trendy Los Angeles restaurant he owns and operates. He’s at an age where the thought of family is beginning to outweigh his lone wolf tendencies and he takes to the children quickly. Before long, he’s introduced to Nic and Jules. Nic, a physician who wears the pants in the family and likes her wine, is skeptical of the motorcycleriding Paul from the start, especially as he encourages Jules’ half-baked entrepreneurial endeavor and hires her to design his backyard landscape. As he grows more entangled within their lives, Paul’s a hit with everyone in the family but Nic. He spends quality time with the kids, and soon they’re all having family dinners. Jules meanwhile sees her children in Paul’s expressions and soon winds up in bed with him, providing the catalyst for the drama in this “dramedy” to kick into high gear. The ensemble cast in Kids delivers a sparkling performance. Bening is riveting as Nic and Ruffalo turns in his most memorable performance in years. Each character brims with internal struggles and interpersonal obstacles. The film is a pitch perfect blend of light moments and intellectual and emotional heft, providing a purely enjoyable cinematic experience that makes you smile and makes you think. Kids loses points for its handling of Paul, however. As tension rises within Nic and Jules’ home, the film becomes all about the family and Paul’s character never reaches a satisfying resolution. But that’s nitpicking what is otherwise a sublime film about modern family and the struggle for identity, one that is sure to receive some attention come Oscar Night. Simply put, The Kids Are All Right gets nearly everything right.

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SUNDAY • September 27th

Gumbo Teen Idols - Taylor Weaver, Danika Faith, Cheyenne Patton Jacob Merlin Silent Comedy Ringo, Stuber, Ensor & Hadlock • Area Dental Professionals

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8/12/10 2:30:21 PM

Growing up pencil in hand

word

A lifetime of scribbling for Patricia Smith

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Patricia Smith and a mural she painted in 1992 for a bar in Portland. hile sitting down with a digital voice recorder next to my laptop and coffee, I turn off my music and start the laborious task of typing out an interview, a few days

removed from the process at hand. Attempting to get every word, stopping and starting every five seconds as to not get too far ahead, and picking out the proper voices amidst a 4 o’clock mid-Monday bar rush at Block 15, a few frustrations come up. Bum then you hear the people, orders being taken and the sound of beer glasses thumping against the wood of the bar and thank god life is being lived!!!. Holding a pint of beer across the table, Patricia Smith icky ipp quickly points out that this isn’t the scene for herself. People and the energy of others become a treat. And that is the first step in the freelance art journey, the lonely road syndrome. “Freelance art is a lonely, lonely path. It is. I don’t know how many times I’ve been in my studio for days on end by myself. But you gotta love it because it’s so much fun.” That is the vibe you get if you talk with Patricia about her craft. A sense of ‘now I am taking this seriously.’ Since moving into the work of a freelance artist but the whole time maintaining an air of fun, she always remembers the roots of why she started to draw. In the last two years, Patricia has moved from the common placement of working behind a desk and following rules to launching herself into the art world as her profession. After years of just working on the side, mixing in desire and passion with the phrase of “just a hobby,” she now has been able to find a place within Corvallis where a reception is available. Making money, while not being the overall goal, is finally being accomplished for something she obviously loves. “At some point you get tired of working for somebody else. A lot of people say that you’re kind of selling out when you go this route…I really don’t think that they understand. I mean tell that to a plumber. I need to put food on my table and it’s my livelihood. I can’t just call my bill collectors and say ‘I’m doing what I love but not getting paid for it…Sorry.’” Our conversation, mainly fueled from her end by the enthusiasm she throws out, races in between art symposiums, Comic Con, the genius of

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Tom Lockwood, favorite movies, styles, Art History with snippets of Van Gogh and an original disliking of Picasso, always comes back to that emotion that eventually drives someone to make the break from something you do for fun to something you do for life. “I like art in general. I love everything about it. I have always had a pencil in my hand and as long as I can remember I have always drawn and scribbled.” With now having “jobs” needing to be finished and a portfolio being developed, the fun is something that hasn’t disappeared as the making a living aspect is brought in. So where does the struggle now lie within the work and not just finding jobs? Finishing and letting go your piece. The perfectionist syndrome can be added right up with the lonely road and needs to be gotten over just as much as anything else. A tweak here and a tweak there must be given in for just completing and letting others see how it stands. “Because it’s never the end result. It’s always the journey and that is the most important thing.” Patricia has done work for Cloud 9 and Block 15. Look through their menus and table displays and you’ll see some of her stuff. As Block 15 begins to bottle their beers, she will be doing their labels (the closest one out for a holiday brew). And that’s what makes it a little easier to begin Art as now Work. The relationships of people helping out the drive to get the best work out there. “I do work for these guys [Block 15], I saw an ad in the paper and they were doing artist calls and you look at it and go ‘Ahh.’ It’s always in the back of your head that maybe you won’t get it. But now it’s a great relationship I have here and it shows in the work.” And “work” is now just a title for something that Patricia just always does. She talks about the need to get it out, having a vision in your head and putting that to paper. She describes this personal drive with the example of Michelangelo seeing the work within the marble and then beginning to chip the block away. And while she loves art, has that drive and talent and would continue to do it for fun, there is also a side that wants to be noticed, that wants to gain something because of her art. The process of creativity is great but the process of getting your name out there is important as well. Patricia explains the necessities of having concrete goals, so as to not flounder in just doing things here and there but once the goals are done the sell needs to be made. And that becomes tricky as holding your art close and stepping out of that comfort zone becomes a must. “You just have to eliminate that embarrassment of showing your own portfolio. If you’re shy you’re not going to make it. That confidence thing is built. It’s not something that is going to happen overnight. What can happen is fear and fear is the worst it stops you cold…but that’s the experience.” Even as the definition of art begins to change and digital work moves itself in along with classic oils and sketches, the motivation to create and the process to create doesn’t switch. Patricia works in many different mediums, holding a place for digital, but taking in everything that she can the whole time remembering the basics. Sticking to the simple inside the complexity. Now you can go out and spend thousands of dollars on various forms of software and equipment that is necessary for digital work or even for sculpture, canvas and simple drawing but the basics need to be there. Coming out of an art academy in San Francisco where this fact was preached, this is something Patricia always stresses. “You’re still gonna have to know the basics. You’re gonna have to have a painting technique behind that. You can never ever, ever stop learning enough about it. You’re always working on it and that’s part of the journey. But that’s what makes art fun you know, because you can always tell when somebody doesn’t like what they’re doing. You get shown someone’s artwork and it’s kind of blah or static… lifeless and then you can always tell when someone really loves what they’re doing. It speaks and it yells back at you.” And liking what you’re doing doesn’t mean doing what you like. The energy of growing up pencil in hand needs to be kept within the necessities of finding work and completing quality pieces because now they are going to be seen. So how do you keep that feeling, that natural want after years of scribbling and painting? You keep remembering why you started. You keep bringing in the memories where money never mattered and finding work wasn’t even a concept you could bring about in your mind. If it’s from the constant journey of discovering new styles and talents to the single moments of childhood and shutting yourself in a bathroom as a little girl and drawing out hippos from the designs off of the linoleum floor. You can check out Patricia’s art at smugbugblog.blogspot.com and also on creativesmugbug.deviantart.com.

SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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Gus puts us in the bus T

he bus station never changes. The people and things and oddities that move in and out change, and change wildly. You never know what is going to come in off the street and buy a ticket. But the bus station and bus schedule...the way things are done, those never change.

The chairs in the Greyhound bus station are hard. A mismatched set. The main row of sixteen seats are plain brown vinyl with rusty metal frames. There are three turquoise cushioned softer looking ones with thick wood frames, and for good measure a row of four plastic contoured orange and yellow chairs that look like they came out of an emergency room circa 1973. The vending machines are gigantic in the small rectangular room. One for soda, one for snacks. In the back corner, there is a broken water fountain and a vintage superman style telephone booth with a phone book but no phone. A wooden magazine rack contains a modest selection. AARP, Us Weekly and more than three Marie Claire. The building itself is built like a bunker. The dark green floor seems so old the hairline cracks seem to have been tramped down tanley ollett by years of foot pounding and time. Insane asylum light green tile lines the walls. The ceiling is functional and unique in its own weird way. Dotted white tile contain fluorescent lights and a speaker. Despite the mismatched interior things are orderly here. Everything is labeled. Restroom. No Smoking. Tickets. Baggage. There are duplicates of most signs in Spanish. Today, the travelers are sparse. Occasionally people come in and ask questions about tickets, purchasing one-way passages for tomorrow or the next. No masses of people answering last minute emails on Blackberries. No suits. No laptops. I walk over to the phone. There is a sign explaining why it’s not cost effective to have a phone anymore. It apologizes to the reader, but I get bored with it and stop reading. There are maps and a window full of “Far Side” cartoons. Some are funny, while some I don’t get at all. On top of the soda machine there is a vase of fake flowers that look like something from a cemetery or an old woman’s living room. There are at least 3 signs for No Smoking and 2 more for No Loitering. I get the feeling that it has been a problem in the past. Must have been too many people standing around smoking for no good reason. A circular rack of free literature has so much dust on them that they must not have been touched since the AA church group placed them there to keep people off booze and quit smoking. Nobody could ever be so desperate for reading material that they would touch them. After all, there’s all those Marie Claires over there. With no airport or train service in Corvallis. If you don’t have a car, the bus station is really the only way to get anywhere from here. Unless you have a friend and some gas money. It’s affordable, safe and reliable. You can buy a last minute ticket or save some money and buy your tickets ahead of time. After sitting alone in the center rack of chairs, finally someone comes in a sits down after buying a bag of snacks. Her name is Bernice Delgado. She’s a 19-year-old student at O.S.U. “When I was younger, we didn’t really have a car, so me and my mom and my brothers and sisters would travel on the bus from Los Angeles to San Diego and back,” said Delgado. “It’s really exhausting, but it paid off in the end because we got to see our family and there was always nice people. I met this girl and she was like ‘You wanna play cards?’ There’s nice people on there.” She tells me it’s reliable. It’s convenient and economical. Less than 30 bucks round trip to certain places. She confesses that there’s not much going on in the bus stations. Both those she remembers from childhood and now. “There’s just interesting people from interesting places.” said Delgado. She recalls a time when she met a guy that came all the way from Louisiana. He was riding all the way out to San Diego. He told her all about his journey and how when the bus broke down they put him up in a hotel for a day. She likes the way bus travel forces one to slow down and enjoy the ride. “On my way here, just looking at Portland, when I was in a car I would usually have music bumping, but because I don’t have to focus on being there at a certain time I can enjoy the ride.” said Delgado. “It is old fashioned, but you can view Portland for what it is, and you can talk to people because they’ve been traveling as well, they’re tired but they still want to have a conversation.” Before we talked about her bus experiences, she confessed to me that on her way to Corvallis. A “creeper” kept talking to her while she was trying to study. But she was nice about it and made small talk. She knows, from experience, that sometimes people just want to have a conversation. While we were talking about the cost of bus fees, the manager called out from behind the counter that if you booked in advance it was even cheaper. I admired his savvy marketing tactics, and outstanding hearing and decided to go and talk to him.

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Leo “Gus” Gustafsson is a large sturdy built guy that looks to be in his early 50’s. He has been working with the buses for 23 years. That’s minus the 6-year hitch he pulled in the Marine Corps. He has driven buses; he has managed the bus terminal. He is the human element in the bus station experience. The guy you go to for answers and tickets. He is definitely in charge. His happy smile and calm, methodical mannerisms put even the most befuddled travelers at ease. His Marine Corps. tattoos and straightforward steadiness reinforce that. I think it’s probably important to have a guy like Gus here. In case the weirdos get out of hand, Gus is there to make sure the meek don’t get hassled. I can’t imagine there is anything about this place that Gus doesn’t know. His job is pretty cut and dried. Things change rarely. “Oh...we sells tickets, ship packages, check baggage,” said Gustafsson. “The biggest clientele is the college clientele, but more developing are seniors riding...the cost of fuel and folks on fixed income, that sorta thing.” Gus tells me all about the shifts and bus times. There are five and a couple extra thrown in on weekends or something. He then tells me something that he fears may “bore the heck outta me.” I know it won’t. He reaches over and grabs a packet of paper stapled together. On them are old pictures of people in cars and buggies and old-fashioned buses. He reveals to me that bus travel has been in his family’s history for a very, very long time. “My grandfather got us started. He would operate on the Oregon coast, from Coos Bay to Florence on the beach cause there was no Highway 101, “ said Gustafsson. “When it came time to cross the rivers they would have wait till low tide to load the front end up [on horse drawn contraptions] so the engine wouldn’t swamp and they’d drag ‘em across the shallows.” He then goes on to show me a series of photographs straight out of history. Telling me about how his grandfather and company would negotiate the weather and roads and passes to get people where they needed to go year round. He beams with pride. It’s in his blood. “My dad, my father, a couple of cousins have all worked for Greyhound at one time or another,” said Gustafsson. We commiserate about our shared wariness towards flying. And agree that buses are more our speed. Gus has a hearty, genuine laugh. He loves this job. Working seven days a week. Just recently he started taking two days off, Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, because he

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now is the patriarch of his family after his father’s passing. But, he loves his job. It’s a calling. He loves the history of the building and its bunker-like sturdiness. “The tough stuff with this nostalgia, this kinda tile...I have to scavenge from places that people don’t see.” said Gustafsson. Back during World War II, according to Gus, the place was humming with servicemen coming and going on leave. With rationing, it was the main means of transportation along with trains. I look down at the tile and imagine how many people have walked through over the years. I thank Gus for his time and go and sit back down in the hard chairs and realize they are actually quite comfortable. They serve a purpose and do it well. Gus announces over the loudspeaker the arrival of next bus and instructs the passengers to stand in line behind the double doors, but not to leave the bus station. Everything is running like clockwork. The passengers here don’t seem too different from those you might find in an airport. Neck pillows, luggage and books. A young lady sits knitting something. Everyone is waiting in his or her own little universe, waiting to be scooped off to somewhere else. Soft music plays unobtrusively in the background. Life in transit. It’s a low-tech approach to travel. The weigh scales and intercom system and the checkered fogged glass windows that separate Gus’ workspace from the lobby are all old. Old, but reliable. They still do their job just fine. It’s what one might expect from a system of transportation that doesn’t require much of its passengers but timeliness, respect for their fellow travelers and less than twenty bucks one-way. There is a quite and understated dignity that hovers over the whole process. There are no metal detectors, or TSA officials eyeing people suspiciously. People don’t have to take off their belts and shoes. Even the scraggliest, run down looking fellow is afforded the same respect and rights as someone that pulled up in a Mercedes. Egalitarianism is the watchword for these people. It is first come first serve, no exceptions. No VIP line. I’m overcome by a feeling of nostalgia. The whole process and scene harkens to a by-gone era when buses ruled the in-betweens. Passengers got out and shoveled snow to keep the bus rolling. People got dressed up back then. Travel was a luxury, and experience. A rarity. You can still smoke on buses in Washington state. But, they make you put them out when you cross the Columbia. The station starts to fill up suddenly, a hum of various languages and conversations of the people waiting on the bus that is scheduled to arrive in 10 minutes. People follow Gus’ instructions and begin lining up on the wall near the double doors. Family and friends wait to see them off. As the bus pulls up, Gus makes sure everyone knows what to do, People start gathering their stuff and moving. And then it happens. I assumed before coming here that I would run into weird people. Freaks. People down on their luck and down to their last dollars. Trying to make it home or anywhere. But when it happened, I was almost shocked....and ashamed for thinking of them as weirdos. A man with a knot on his eyebrow the size of a Titleist golf ball comes stumbling in the door with another man, who seems to be his helper. The entire side of face from temple all the way down to the bottom of his cheek is black with contusions. The eyeball itself is bloodshot and barely visible. It speaks of horrible trauma, on the verge of fatal. The other passengers eye him with equal parts curiosity, pity and fear. He doesn’t notice. He’s not sure what’s going on. His helper reads him his bus ticket like someone would read to a child and then leaves. The man mumbles incoherently to himself. He is sitting right behind me. He gets up and stumbles around a bit, then sits back down, visibly disoriented. But when the bus pulls up, he quickly gets to his feet, walks carefully over to the double doors and opens them for the lady in the front of the line in a gentlemanly manner. I am touched all of sudden by this man’s bare humanity. Whatever horrible events took place in the last 24 hours for him; his first instinct is to help. The people, sensing this, politely tell him what Gus has said, about not leaving the station until the bus is fully unloaded, that they must wait. There is a tone of gentle kindness in their voices. After he seems to understand people quickly avert their eyes and say nothing of it. He wonders around in a daze. He tries to shake hands with a young kid that just got off the bus that pulled in. After eyeing the man with trepidation, he accepts the extended hand and shakes it. The man mumbles something, swaying back and forth. In any airport in this country, the TSA would be all over this guy in an instant, cordoning him off or worse. Here he is treated with kid gloves. Everyone knows we’re all just trying to make it to our destinations. He walks over to the magazine rack and starts talking to the Marie Claires. He doesn’t seem scared but he doesn’t seem “here” either. Just confused I think. He goes outside and tries to talk to the bus driver, but he doesn’t get on the bus. I wonder if his ticket is for another time. He is helped safely back inside. He goes and sits back down, laying his head on his crossed arms and says softly, “Sorry, Sorry” over and over. He stops and is still. I think he goes to sleep, but it is fitful. As the passengers leave the station to board the bus, I can tell they all hope he’s okay. They also all hope he doesn’t board the bus and sit next to them. Gus announces final boarding, answers more questions and solves problems. He is the last line of assistance to people on the bottom rung of mass transit in America today. He’s kind and easy with them. And now all of a sudden, it’s quiet again. Almost silent. Everyone is on their bus and it’s leaving, turning the corner to take them home or away. All that remains are Gus and the man with the golf ball contusion sleeping or hiding in his crossed arms. The wind blows coolness into the green sturdy building and you can hear the faint music again. I look over at the man. He is just like me. We are all going somewhere, and it may not be what is printed on a ticket. I take a deep breath and sincerely hope he makes it to wherever he is going, and someone, somewhere is waiting for him.

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dream; 'Pearean Ego

Your Weekend Starts Here Home of the 6-Pack Friday

Chronicles of Detective Siempre

Part IV by: T. Clarence

literati

“I am undone!� Facing the old man that judged their efforts, the actor Red ‘A’ raised his hands to the sky imploringly. True to his word he made a fine villain but, despite Detective Siempre’s best efforts, even in this dream the villain was long ago slated to lose. “And when you had become a man, what trade did you follow?� Red ‘A’ turned his attention once more on the detective. Candy had arrived mid-way through the dream performance of The Knights; the buildings, the people, and even the dingy road felt like ancient Greece. The only constant reminder that this dream was a performance was the script. Candy spoke his lines uncontrollably, sometimes to his chagrin, sometimes to his enjoyment. “I sold sausages and did a bit of fornication,� the detective smiled. At his mention of sausages Candy couldn’t help flashing back to the moment when he thought the effort of this dream had been for naught. With a steady hand, he’d beaten Red ‘A’ to the ground with his sausage, but the actor played his part well and powered on. His voice held steady as the two ran around Athens, going before friends and the Senate, and finally competing for the affection of this lone, old man, Demos. The detective looked up at the old man now, who surveyed them with fogged eyes. Behind him was Rusty, another player in Red ‘A’s troupe. It was Rusty who had asked the detective to aid the black actor in reclaiming his ego for the good of them all. Though he didn’t know this play, Candy could see how it would end and felt sure it would not be the ego-boost that Red ‘A’ was in need of. “Oh! My god! I am a lost man!� If Red ‘A’ had moulded his dream to bolster his ego Candy could never be sure, but the actor could not survive his character’s failure. All the detective knew for sure was that suddenly he was in full control of himself. Candy knew the actor’s will had broken as he watched a flash of pain crease his face. “I am a scroyle!� Red ‘A’ kicked the basket at his feet and his words jumped three octaves in an instant, then mechanically echoed as it began to fade away. “You were doing so good,� Candy’s face flushed with anger, “Why break down now?� “I am a blusterer. My every fate is to fail,� Red ‘A’ lamented. “It was the part you were given,� the detective’s face was bright red, “Fate had nothing to do with it. Your presence and delivery were excellent, but no matter how good your performance it won’t change the story!� Rusty and the old man sat motionless, gawking at the improv argument that was attracting other robe-clad Greeks from up and down the street. “But I am the leading man,� his voice became digitized

again, “I am meant to bedazzle my audience, for I am Red ‘A.’� “Your not ready for anything!� Candy yelled back. The whining of the larger man was driving the detective crazy and it was all he could do to resist attacking. He wished they could jump back to the scene that started the dream so he could beat Red ‘A’ down with a sausage again. “Your words are those that nobody knows or cares about! And nobody wants to listen to an auto-tuned actor!� the detective could see the edges of the Athenian city collapsing inward as the dream began to crumble, but couldn’t help himself, “I don’t know how you could ever be good on stage outside of your own dreams!� “You cannot cow me!� Red ‘A’s voice steadied. A look of determination came over the actor and the detective thought now the blows would finally come that would restore the other mans’ ego. “Puh!� the alpha sign on his shoulder glittered as Red ‘A’ picked up the basket at his feet and heaved it through the air. Next he stomped up to the old man and smashed the table before him into bits, “I fleer at this world and any that say I have no place on stage.� “This is pointless,� the detective turned away from the actor’s childish tantrum and pinched his arm tightly to wake up. Conscious, Candy looked across the table at Red ‘A,’ grimacing in his sleep, then at Rusty. The candle had burned low and it was obvious that the other actor had been sitting on the stage with them, waiting, for some time. “Well?� he asked hopefully. Red ‘A’ stirred and his eyes began to flutter open. “He needs to be a man before he can be a leading man,� Candy said flatly, “There’s no hope.� “There is crafty hope yet,� Red ‘A’ sat forward, his anger toward Candy obvious in his eyes. The detective would have reached across and smacked him but the determination in the man’s voice put him off guard. “We’ve tried your next play, we’ve tried a play that we know was a success, and still you haven’t regained the ego to be a star on stage again,� Candy looked from one actor to the other, determined to let them down and be done with it, “What else can we try?� “The very play we’re dressed for,� Rusty didn’t sound convinced by his own words, but Red ‘A’ nodded his emphatic assent and the detective forgot his anger for a moment. “We’ll be in Wonderland.�

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CRO S SWORD

Wise Moves 46. Not at one’s desk 47. Submissions to eds. 48. One trying to win a hand? 50. Clubs, e.g. 54. Depp, starring in a movie that defiles the Pope? 57. Most self-affirmingly gay 60. Breakthrough 3-D film 61. MTV event that aired on September 12, 2010 62. Canonized holy woman: Abbr. 63. Soft wool 64. 2006 Pixar hit 65. Place for a ring 66. They may be twisted or rolled

Down

1. “C’mon, I’ll give you a lift!” 2. ___ pittance 3. Ersatz silk 4. Fake ID? 5. Like some cereal 6. Fraction of a moment: Abbr. 7. Stoudemire of the Knicks 8. One may be unfairly blamed 9. National airline of Afghanistan 10. “Freak on a Leash” band

Saturday September 18th Ravinwolf 8:00 pm

11. It was supported by NOW 12. Opus ___ (“The Da Vinci Code” group) 13. Mama’s boy? 19. CD part 21. Tanning source 24. Line from the ticker 25. Coral reef creature 26. Doesn’t deny 28. Suffix with Caesar 29. Contribute 31. Pool hustler who pushes people around? 32. Old NYC punk club, for short 33. Camaros like the one Ryan Holt used to gun in the parking lot during my 8th period math class 34. ___-pitch softball 37. Egg source 38. Bow wood 39. Southern constellation 40. Will.___ of the Black Eyed Peas 43. Decorated pitcher 44. One may be deciduous 45. Attends 49. Sweet-smelling Lauder 51. Up to 52. Like most postgame comments 53. Newbies 54. Gas company with toy trucks 55. Doc’s publication 56. Bun’s place, in a pregnancy euphemism 57. Big initials in home shopping 58. ___ Karuna Thurman 59. Lobe locale

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Sunday September 19th Blues Jam 4:00 pm

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Thursday September 23rd Wild Hog in the Woods 7:30 pm

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Last week's puzzle solutions

LIVE MUSIC

1. Belabor 7. Gardner of Hollywood 10. Shoe brand hip in the 1980s 14. Nebraska Native Americans 15. It was launched by the Soviets in 1986 16. Common name for a black-and-white dog 17. “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” substance 18. Certain environmental concern 20. Drape that’s so ugly it’s kind of great? 22. ___ crossing (Hawaiian road sign) 23. Injection points 24. G.I. mail drop 27. It’s marked by a ring in a trunk 30. Coffee shop hardware 32. Bugs that emerge septendecennially 35. Online locations 36. Commitment to cognac? 40. Hunchback name in fiction 41. Share parts 42. ‘Fore H club?

www.sudoku-puzzles.net

Across

Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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artsalbany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath & culture

14 tuesday Corvallis

bump

Corvallis Elks Lodge, 1400 NW 9th St. Beginner Line Dance, [DANCE] 7:00 pm Enoteca Wine Bar Girls Night Out!, Knit Night, [CRAFT] 4:00 pm

Luc 134 SW 4th St. Evesham Wood Dinner [EATS] 6:30 pm, $65 OSU Women’s Building Rm 112 Salsa Dancing, [DANCE] 8:00 pm

15 wednesday Albany

Albany Eagles Lodge, 127 Broadalbin St Albany Senior Dance, [DANCE] 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm, $3

Corvallis

Cloud 9 Beer and Blog, [LIBATIONS] 5:00 pm, FREE

Corvallis Skate Park Juggling lessons [FUN] 6:30, FREE Enoteca Wine Bar Wine Tasting, [LIBATIONS] 6:30 pm, $10 Old World Deli 341 SW 2nd St Belly Dance, [DANCE] 8:00 pm, FREE

16 thursday Albany

Albany Eagles Lodge 127 NW Broadalbin St Country dance lessons [DANCE] 7:00 pm, $4 City Hall 333 SW Broadalbin St. City Hall Day, [SCHMOOZE] 8:30 am – 10:30 am

Corvallis

Enoteca Wine Bar Chocolate Truffle Happy Hour, [EATS] FREE Truffles, 6:00 pm

WineStyles, 2333 NW Kings Blvd Wine Tasting featuring Hip Chicks Do Wine [LIBATIONS] 5:30 pm, $5

Lebanon

Lebanon Downtown Main St. Farmers Market, 3:00 pm Mark’s Ridge Winery Lebanon Business After Hours [LIBATIONS] 5:00 pm – 7:00 pm, $8

Philomath

College United Methodist Church, 1123 Main St. Philomath Chamber Forum Luncheon, Noon Speaker: Todd Stanbury

17 friday Albany

Albany Civic Theater, 111 1st Ave SW Alice in Wonderland, [STAGE] 8:00 pm, $11/$8

Corvallis

First Alternative Co-Op South, 1007 SE 3rd St. 1st & 3rd Thurs. Beer Tasting, [LIBATIONS] 1st and 3rd Thursdays 5:00 pm

Art in the Valley, 209 SW 2nd St Artist’s Reception: Hope Carter Meado [WATERCOLORS] 11:00 am

First Alternative Co-Op North, 29th and Grant Wine Tasting, [LIBATIONS] 2nd and 4th Thursdays 5:00 pm

Corvallis Senior Center 2601 NW Taylor Ave Friday Night Dancers, [DANCE] Nifty 50s Dance, 7:00 pm, $4

Photo by: Casey Campbell

First Alternative Co-Op South, 1007 SE 3rd St. Wine Tasting, [LIBATIONS] 5:00 pm LaBamba Mix Night Club PRIDE La Bamba, [DANCE] 8:00 pm, $3 WineStyles, 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Friday Night Wine Flight, [LIBATIONS] 5:00 pm

18 saturday Albany

Albany Civic Theater, 111 1st Ave SW Alice in Wonderland, [STAGE] 8:00 pm, $11/$8 City Hall Parking Lot, 4th and Ellsworth Albany Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am to 1:00 pm Linn County Fairgrounds Skatemberfest Roller Derby Sicktown Derby Dames vs. Atomic City Roller Girls, 6:00 pm, $13/$10

Corvallis

Cloud 9 OSU vs Louisville Tailgate Party, 2:30 pm First Street and Monroe Corvallis Artisans Market, 9:00 am–1:30 pm corvallisartisansmarket.com Corvallis Farmers’ Market, 9:00 am-1:00 pm locallygrown.org Reser Stadium OSU Beavers vs Louisville The madness begins 2:30 pm WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd Wine Tasting and Artist Reception: Terry Tallis, 4:00 pm

Lebanon

Sicktown Derby Dames vs. Atomic City Roller Girls 12

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SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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Linn County Fairgrounds • Saturday 6:00 pm

THE ALCHEMIST

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River Park Head west on Grant St 50s in the Fall Car Show Rollin’ Oldies Car Club, 9:00 am, FREE, rollinoldies.org

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Willamette Speedway Airport Rd. “Thanks to Hoosier” Championship Night: Late Model-Modified-Super Sport-Sportsman-Classic Ticket windo opens at 2 pm, $14

Tangent

Field of Dreams, 33131 Witt Dr Oregon Jet Sprint Boat Races, 10:00 am – 5:00 pm, $15/$10

19 sunday Albany

Albany Civic Theater, 111 1st Ave SW Alice in Wonderland, [STAGE] 2:00 pm, $11/$8

alchemist pick WHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeewwwwWWWWWWHHHHHHH!

The United States Sprint Boat Association National Finals are coming to Albany, Oregon’s Field of Dreams on Saturday, September 18th…and you should be excited. According to the USSBA website, Sprint Boat was founded in New Zealand when some crazy Kiwis asked outloud, “If relly cahs have they rown trecks, woy ken’t we do it in bouts?” The New Zealanders set up tracks around their islands, but it wasn’t until the Australians got involved that they started digging trenches into the earth. Fast-forward to 1997 and the first track was dug into the Northwest area. The Albany track was laid in 2008. The boats are 14 to 16 feet in length with V8s sporting 500–1000 horsepower. On a straight-away, the boats can reach up to 80 mph. The beauty of the sport is the raw, pedal to the metal, hair on fire racing. In a boat, you lose the ability to turn when you slow down, so the goal is to not let up. Spend a minute watching “Wicked at Web Slough” on YouTube and you’ll be compelled to yell, “WHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwWWWWWWHHHHHHH!” -Noah Stroup Photo by: defordphoto

Corvallis

Enoteca Wine Bar Book Group [LITERARY] 3:00 pm

honey let's go out Albany

Albany Civic Theater, 111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603 Alleyoop Lounge, 901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977 Bogey’s Bar & Grill, 129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900 Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE 541.928.1931 Cappie’s Brewhouse, 211 1st Ave W 541.926.1710 Cascade Grill, 110 Opal St. NW 541.926.3388 Chasers Bar & Grill, 435 SE 2nd Ave 541928.9634 Dixie Creek Saloon, 32994 Hwy 99E, Tangent, OR 541.926.2767 Favorite Mistake Sports Bar, 5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034 Front Street Bar, 2300 Northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739 GameTime SportsBar & Grill, 2211 Waverly Dr. SE 541.981.2376 Humpty’s Dump Bar & Grill, 916 Old Salem Rd NE 541.926.3111 JP’s Restaurant and Lounge, 220 2nd Ave. 541.926.5546 Lariat Lounge, 901 Pacific Blvd SE 541.928.2606 Linger Longer Tavern, 145 SW Main St. 541.926.2174 Lucky Larrys Lounge, 1296 S Commercial Way SE 541.928.3654 Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill, 124 Broadalbin St SW 541.926.2838 Wilhelm’s Spirits & Eatery, 1520 Pacific Blvd SE 541.926.7001

Corvallis

To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

Oregon Jet Sprint Boat Race

Field of Dreams • Saturday 10:00 am

SUNDAY

Photo by: John Kish

MEET SWAP Sell something! Shop for treasures! Snack on something tasty! Enjoy live music! Admission is Free Located at the corner of 1st and Monroe St

Alice in Wonderland

Albany Civic Theatre • Various times

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

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Sundays from 10:00 to 6:00 pm

THE ALCHEMIST

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Aqua Seafood Restaurant & Bar, 151 NW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262 The Beanery on 2nd, 500 SW 2nd St 541.753.7442 Big River Restaurant & Bar, 101 NW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694 Block 15, 300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077 Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 541.757.7221 China Delight Restaurant, 325 NW 2nd St. 541.753.3753 Clodfelter’s, 1501 NW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452 Cloud 9, 126 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 Crowbar, 214 SW 2nd St. 541.753.7373 Darrell’s Restaurant and Lounge, 2200 NW 9th St. 541.752.6364 Downward Dog, 130 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 Enoteca Wine Bar, 136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095 Fireworks Restaurant and Bar, 1115 SE 3rd 541.754.6958 Flat Tail Pub, 202 SW 1st St. 541.758.2219 Greenberry Store & Tavern, 29974 HWY 99W 541.752.3796 Harrison Bar & Grill, 550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017 Impulse, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114 La Bamba Mix Night Club, 126 SW 4th St. 541.207.3593 Loca Luna, 136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 541.753.2222 Luc, 134 SW 4th St. 541.753.4171 Murphy’s Tavern, 2740 SW 3rd St. 541.738. 7600 Papa’s Pizza, 1030 S.W. Third St. 541.757.2727 Peacock Bar & Grill, 125 SW 2nd St. 541.754.8522 Squirrel’s, 100 SW 2nd St. 541.753.8057 Sunnyside Up Café, 116 NW 3rd St 541.758.3353 Suds & Suds, 1045 NW Kings Blvd. 541.758.5200 Troubadour, 521 SW 2nd St. 541.752.7720 Tyee Wine Cellars, 26335 Greenberry Rd. 541.753.8754 Wanted Saloon, 140 NW 3rd St. WineStyles, 2333 N.W. Kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

Lebanon

Artisian’s Well Lounge, 2250 South Main Rd. 541.451.3900 Cornerstone Café & Pub, 180 S 5th St. 541.847.6262 Duffy’s Irish Pub, 679 South Main St. 541.259.2906 Fire Pit Lounge, 2230 South Santiam Hwy 541.451.2010 GameTime Sports Bar and Grill, 3130 South Santiam Hwy 541.570.1537 Merlin’s Bar and Grill 541.258.6205 Peacock Bar & Grill East, 76 E. Sherman St. 541.451.2027 Sports Shack and Deli, 1250 Grant St. 541.259.0800

Philomath

High 5 Sports Bar & Grill, 1644 Main St.-541.929.7529 Meet’n Place Tavern, 1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130 Wine Vault, 1301 Main St. 541.929.8496 Wing Sing Restaurant & Lounge, 658 Main St. 541.929.6255

SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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13

music albany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath

14 tuesday

Peacock Bar and Grill Jonny Dark and the Wondertones, [BLUES] 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Café Bluegrass Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE

Lebanon

Contributed Photo

Peaocock Bar and Grill East The Brand, [BLUES], 7:00 pm Every other Wednesday

Tangent

Dixie Creek Saloon Battle of the Bands 7:00 pm

16 thursday

Corvallis

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Café Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE

15 wednesday Albany

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Pure Country Night - Country Dancing with DJ, 9:00pm

Corvallis

Bombs Away Café Bill Mize and Beth Bramhall [FINGERSTYLE] 7:30 pm, $10 Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 2nd St. and B Ave. Three Fingered Jack [CELTIC] 3:30 pm First United Methodist Church 1165 NW Monroe Ave Craig Hanson [ORGAN] 12:15 pm – 12:45, FREE

Albany

Bill Mize

Bombs Away Café • Wednesday 7:30 pm

alchemist pick For anyone that has ever had dreams of being a rock star, rap star, or balladeer but doesn’t have quite the vocal range, or even raw talent to get a record deal there is only one option. Fortunately, that option is available to anyone with enough nerve, or liquid courage to step up to the mic. The Peacock Bar and Grill holds Karaoke every night at 9 pm every night of the week except on Wednesday’s and Saturday’s when the pros come out to play. On any given night, you will hear some of the most incredible singing, and some of the most earclawingly horrible singing. Either of which is immense fun for listeners and singers alike. The crowd is always supportive and encouraging. The MC of the Karaoke, Sqwig-e-okie, is always willing and more than able to back you up should you falter with a chorus or need backing vocals. Afterward, whether you bombed or soared he congratulates your effort with a high-five or a “right-on”. It’s one of the most comfortable and fun experiences that this frequent karaoker has ever seen. You will almost always hear “Living on Prayer” and most likely “Baby Got Back”. These are the iconic staples of the Peacock Karaoke experience. So if you’re looking to flex those shower or rush hour singing muscles. Head on down to the Peacock and let her rip, you will not regret it. -Stanley Tollett

CONNECT WEEK EVENTS PRESENTED BY MUPC! WEDNESDAY THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 22 SEPTEMBER 23

2010

MUPC Mocktail Party

CONNECT Week: SEPT 19-25 Campus MovieFest: OCT 19-28 Homecoming Celebration & Benny’s Birthday: OCT 30 Dad’s Weekend: NOV 12-14 Civil War in Corvallis: DEC 4 Children’s Holiday Party: DEC 5

7:00p.m. - 9:00p.m. Location: MU Lounge - Bring out those dress pants and a button up shirt and prepare to rub elbows with the MU elites, MUPC Directors, ASOSU Executives and other student body representatives with some fancy non-alcoholic beverages and conversation!

2011

Leadership Conference: FEB 12 OSU Has Talent: FEB 25 Mom’s Weekend: APR 29-MAY 1 Snow in the Quad: MAY 20 Battle of the Bands: JUN 3 Flat Tail Music Festival: JUN 4

CONTACT MUPC

Corvallis

Karaok-Me

EVENTS CALENDAR

MUPC & ASOSU Present: Camp Out in the Quad!

6:00p.m. - 8:00a.m. Location: Sign in at the MU Quad - Enjoy a Barbecue, carnival games, prizes galore and a free movie in the quad when it gets dark! - Drawing for a FREE iPad and MORE!! (must be present to win prizes) - Bring a sleeping bag, tent or just a blanket and a pillow to camp out under the stars! - Free food and games (including Ultimate Frisbee on IM fields and Capture the Flag) - Free shuttles to Fred Meyer Night and back!

For more info visit: OSUMU.ORG

ViSiT: mu.oregonstate.edu/mupc CALL: 541-737-MUPC (6872)

14

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SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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THE ALCHEMIST

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Ladies Night with DJ Unofficial, 9:00pm

•

Bombs Away Café Curtis Monette and Friends [ACOUSTIC] 8:00 pm, FREE Crowbar Rooftop The Kindreds [ACOUSTIC] 6:00 pm, FREE Interzone 1563 NW Monroe Ave The Wobblies, Hooray for Everything, Latch-Hook Robot [PUNK ROCK] 7:00 pm, $3 Papa’s Pizza 1030 SW 3rd St Northwest Banjo Band, 6:30 pm Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, FREE

FRiDAY SEPTEMBER 24 Choose Your Own Adventure Scavenger Hunt!

2:00p.m. - 5:00p.m. Location: Meet on the MU front steps at 2pm, and afterwards bring the final checklist and pictures to MU103 when completed or at the end of 2 hours. - Pick up a campus map and search for the most interesting oddities and important places on campus! - Remember your camera or phone, because after all...pics or it didn’t happen! - Prizes will be awarded: › 1-3 place (with completed list) › Best picture › Most awkward photo (people must be in photo) › Wild card photo (Best campus photo no listed) › Funniest picture › Best collaboration (fitting more than one item into a photo)

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Lebanon

Peacock Bar and Grill East Blues Jam featuring Kendall Lee and the Roadhouse Blues Band, 7:00 pm, FREE Every other Thursday

17 friday Albany

Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant, 2306 Heritage Way SE Lisa Taylor [CLARINET] 5:30 pm, FREE Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial, 9:00 pm

Corvallis

The Beanery on 2nd Rick and Lavina Ross [FOLK] 8:00 pm, FREE Bombs Away Café Jeremy’s Acoustic Ensemble [FOLK] 9:00 pm, FREE Cloud 9 AstroTek Electro Boogaloo Outdoor Tiki Party 9:00 pm Larry and His Flask with The Autopsies [FOLK] 10:00 pm, $7 Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Al Rivers [BLUES] 8:00 pm, FREE Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex, 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Deep Woods Band [AMERICANA] 7:00 pm, $2

Tangent

Dixie Creek Saloon Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE

Hooray for Everything, The Wobblies, Latch-Hook Robot

Thursday, September 16th, at the Interzone, 7pm, $3, all-ages California’s Hooray For Everything will be stopping in Corvallis on Thursday September 16th as part of a long weekend through Oregon. The show will occur at the Interzone (16th & Monroe) with locals The Wobblies and Latch-Hook Robot. This event is all-ages, starts at 7pm and costs a whopping three bucks. Faith Gardner (guitar, vocals) and drummer Jamie Sanitate formed Hooray For Everything about three years ago. In the past year, Pete Deegan joined on bass and back-up vocals. (Deegan recently played in Resist, and is a former Corvallis resident and member of groups such as Lazyboy, Butch Lucky, and Coos Bay City Rollers.) Gardner also has a solo act that she bills as Scarlett O’Hara, and Sanitate played guitar in Annihilation Time. The band is based out of the East Bay (Oakland/Berkeley), where they play everything from house parties to outdoor concerts on Telegraph Avenue. Hooray For Everything’s melodic punk sound has been compared to Husker Du, the Wipers, and Jawbreaker. The East Bay Express wrote that “singer Faith is sweet voiced but snarly” and rated them as “highly recommended.” I would certainly second that opinion. They have released one cd (self-titled), which features 11 songs that sit somewhere between pop-punk and post-punk. It is definitely melodic, but not typical of what one expects with the “pop-punk” pigeonholing. The sound is grittier and rougher, with some minor-key parts thrown in to keep the listener on their toes. This is not just simple ear candy. Gardner’s guitar parts present swooping chords followed by tight, driving single notes within the progressions. Sanitate is all over the drum set, without losing the solid beat that keeps driving the songs forward. I saw them play live recently, and their sound is definitely fuller and more dynamic with the addition of Deegan on bass (he was not yet with the band when they produced the cd, but new recordings are in the works). With all three members contributing to the song writing, Hooray For Everything’s new tunes continue in the same vein of melodic and powerful punk—even throwing in a hard-core part or two. All that is topped off with an awesome cover of Cyndi Lauper’s “Money Changes Everything” that will be caught in your head for days! And you will thank them for it. Hooray For Everything will take the middle slot at this show. Opening is Latch-Hook Robot—thundering minimalism at it’s finest. They will have their cd Always Inappropriate available, and hope to be recording new stuff soon. Closing is The Wobblies, well known in these parts for 3-and-a-half chords, gangland vocals, and politics that make Obama look like Glenn Beck. Hopefully, The Wobblies will have copies of their brand new split 7” with Dun Bin Had. Interzone has been hosting some great all-ages shows this summer that have featured touring and local bands, and we hope to see that continue throughout the year. Come out to enjoy and support the rock and roll!

the big ones

Stage Main Main Main Grove Main Main Main Grove Main Main Main Grove Main Main Main Main

Performer 3 Way Street Announcements & Welcome The Arcadians Corvallis Belly Dance Performance Guild Ambush Party RANDOMELANIE Future Roots OSU Jugglers O Horizon Romero Diaz, Announcements & Thank You audiophilia Corvallis Belly Dance Performance Guild Eleven Eyes Set Changes & Thank You Space Neighbors AMADAN

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Albany

City Hall Parking Lot 4th and Ellsworth Albany Farmer’s Market Figs and Thistles [BAROQUE] 9:30 am Calapooia Brewing Ravinwolf [BLUES] 8:00 pm Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial, 9:00 pm

Corvallis

Beanery on 2nd David Rogers [ACOUSTIC] 8:00 pm Bombs Away Café The Svens [COWBOY SURF] 9:00 pm, FREE Crowbar Rooftop Dave and Jessica [ACOUSTIC] 6:00 pm, FREE

Albany

Calapooia Brewing Blues Jam, 4:00 pm Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant, 2306 Heritage Way SE Strings of Time [ACOUSTIC] 5:30 pm, FREE

Corvallis

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE

20 monday Corvallis

Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Southtown Open Mic, 8:00 pm

Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Jesse Meade [RHYTHM & BLUES] 8:00 pm Corvallis Farmers’ Market First St and Monroe Oregon Tuba Ensemble [BRASS] 9:30 am Peacock Bar and Grill DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Café Siobhan Band [FOLK] 7:00 pm, FREE

Lebanon

Lebanon Coffee House and Eatery, 661 Main Street Afternoon Free Movie, 2:00 pm Live Music, 6:30 pm

To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

Photo by T. Ripod

Benton County Fairgrounds, Oak Grove Whiteside Jam Benefit Concert Time 11:00am - 11:40am 11:40am - 12:00pm 12:50pm - 12:50pm 12:00pm - 1:10pm 1:15pm - 2:10pm 2:10pm - 2:30pm 2:30pm - 3:30pm 3:30pm - 3:50pm 3:50pm - 5:00pm 5:00pm - 5:20pm 5:20pm - 6:20pm 6:20pm - 6:40pm 6:40pm - 8:00pm 8:00pm - 8:20pm 8:20pm - 9:40pm 9:50pm - 11:00pm

18 19 saturday sunday

alchemist pick

•

THE ALCHEMIST

Hooray For Everything

Interzone • Thursday 7:00 pm

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SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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15

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