VOLUME 3 NUMBER 144:13• OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010 A custom built newspaper.
Alchemist Astrologer p. 4 ● The third degree: Dave Marliave p. 6 Little puppet made of pine p. 8 ● Bump events calendar p. 12 Paul Kincaid's custom guitars give life to the music
SYMPOSIUM symposium I AM A FAGGOT
Or at least, that’s what I was told on Tuesday night by some dude in his car. I had crossed the street and my friends were lagging behind. I could see that the guy in his black Honda was frustrated by having to wait a minute for them to cross. I said, “Thank you for your patience.” His reply as he drove off, “You’re welcome, faggot.” Ok. Let’s clear something up. His intention was malicious in its use, but I am unwilling to allow the term to be an insult. This guy’s assumption is that by associating me with homosexuality I should be inherently offended. Yes, the term is derogatory in nature or at least in this case it was meant to be. But it only has the power that I give it as the target. Why is this guy using it as an insult in the first place? Is he still coming to terms with his own sexuality? I’m not suggesting that he’s gay. I’m suggesting that he still hasn’t accepted that he is not gay. Frankly, it’s possible that this is a common problem. When I first arrived at OSU, I had preconceived notions about the world as many of us do in our teens. I met a lot of new people and my dorm had a gay resident assistant. He was good at his job and though he was very nice to all the residents the fact that he was nice to me made me ask, “Does he think I’m gay?” It’s absurd in retrospect, but this is something that, at the time, really started to bother me. I started questioning whether other people thought I was gay. I externalized it to the point that I avoided talking to the RA altogether. The whole situation made my skin crawl with anxiety. It wasn’t until I allowed myself a moment of introspection that I finally came to my senses. “What if I am gay?” I thought. I could really only find one conclusion. “If it turns out I’m gay, then I guess that’s just the way it is.” It’s sort of a relief to come to terms with the fact that you could be something that you fear. People who are lazy and procrastinators piss me off. Why? Because, they remind me of myself. I, too, am often guilty of being a lazy procrastinator. But rather than accept that responsibility, I blame other people. When I take the burden onto my own shoulders, I can no longer force my emotional reaction on to someone else. Let’s get back to this incident. I’m not suggesting that people shouldn’t be offended if someone calls them “faggot.” As far as the spewer of this word is concerned, he was using the term as a synonym for any number of expletives. The problem is that the guy using the term negatively, thought it would be insulting. After relaying this story to a friend, he told me that it’s becoming common for some guys to declare, “No homo,” when accidentally brushing another guy’s hand or butt as they walk by. This doesn’t make sense. By taking the time to declare that the action was not homosexually driven, you actually have to have a homosexual thought. You have to process that this might be something a gay man might be excited by and declare that you just don’t feel that way. Am I wrong? Is this completely ridiculous? Here’s my suggestion. Accept it. You might be gay. And if you don’t find yourself making out with the same sex, or at least fantasizing about it, in the next couple years, you probably aren’t. So, those random butt grazes with your hand would inherently have no meaning and therefore no need for clarification. If you find out you are gay, congratulations! Coming to terms with your sexuality is something that some heterosexuals will never do. -Noah Stroup think@thealchemistweekly.com
VOLUME 3 NUMBER 144:13 OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
VOIC E
Opi n i on s a n d Editor ia ls , b e t h e y ours or yours , t h i s i s wh e re th e y be.
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Alchy Astrologer
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We ’ l l b e t h e judge. You be th e jur y...you tr us t us r ig h t?
Darkside
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J o u r n a l i st s c a l l th e m f e a ture s; we say it's th e word.
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Paul Kincaid
LITERATI
Am a t e u r p ro se, poetr y and fi c t i on st i l l h a s a h om e.
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Localities
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I t ' s t h e c alendar of al l t h i n g s A l b a ny, Cor v a l lis , L e b a n on , a nd P h ilom a th .
Editorial
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CONTENT S Editorial Tag Team Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors Robin Canfield, Dirtstir, Patrick Fancher, Josh Goller, Joel Rea
Art
Art Director Courtney Clenney Cover Photo by Peter Chee Back Cover Photo by Courtney Clenney
Advertising
Account Executive Noah Stroup Sales Representatives Luke Thomas, Lisa Weller
Business
Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339
Alchemist Mission
As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves. The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.
OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
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THE ALCHEMIST
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D I Rstir T
C O RVAvanities LLIS
Does This Soylent Taste Done?
Not so new on the future of food frontier, is the reminder that we have been “genetically modifying” our food for millennia. So geez (like the first syllable of “Jesus!”, as an exclamation), quit squealing about the rapid mono culturing of food plants. Be thankful for the accuracy of selecting specific genes from as many different genomes as desired, removing risk of lower yielding strains affecting food production. Never mind the reduced nutritional values associated with faster growing, larger fruited food crops (including nuts and grains, really anything with a flower). There are claims on both sides of the line, with proponents of genetically modified foods claiming they can choose genes that will increase nutritional content. I don’t know. But something that grows faster and bigger usually means more filler and less substance. The food boys are looking to change “high-fructose corn syrup”, to “corn sugar”, claiming the current name is inaccurate and trying to avoid the stigma of being a major contributor to obesity. I say “contributor” because people could make an effort to at least consume less of it. It’s pervasive. It’s in, well, look at the ingredients list of every food item you buy. Make it easy and just count the products without HFCS. But I digress. Future foods may simply be gooey wads of straight-up DNA. We really need to get back to basics and simplify our production methods. Huge amounts of food production energies could be saved if these food corporations realized humans are made from meat. We have a readily accessible protein source just wandering around the streets. Think maybe if a person were killed by a car they could be taken to the penitentiary to feed the inmates? Could our elderly, in the vein of Edward G. Robinson, visit a euthanasia salon and be the entreé at your next big event? You know someone in the “we control food production and distribution” group is working on that. Shoot. Humans are just the other grey meat. We just have a dozen fewer teeth (than pigs).
'Tis the Season
I have a large paper bag rapidly filling with the soon to be unread and shredded detritus of another campaign season. Yea, I blab about staying informed and I do read a bit of the political propaganda that greatly outweighs the mail I usually receive on a daily basis. Literally. The majority of this material is redundant, so I don’t read it. Some is tasteful, most is embellished capabilities of a candidate or biased reflection of an opponent’s viewpoints based often on out of context quotes. With that in mind, please stay informed, read until nauseous, and recycle the crap. I said in an earlier issue that State Senate contender Dan Rayfield lost a vote due to an election ad disguised as a periodical. I gotta say, he’s the lesser of two evils, and sometimes experience may have to step aside for inexperienced idealism. Me? I’m confused. Rayfield’s campaign logo looks to me like either a weird Florida or a pistol. Makes me want to be dead or at the beach until all the bulls##t blows over. What has been missing for years is viable candidates. The ol’ Turd vs. Douche dilemma. Maybe I should get involved. How about writing in DIRTSTIR for Mayor of Corvallis? -tcJ dirtstirreply@gmail.com
COME WATCH BEAVER FOOTBALL Open one hour before gametime 214 SW 2nd - Behind Downtown Dream - 753 7373 WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM
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The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.
The Alchemist Weekly welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to submissions@thealchemistweekly.com or snail mail to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
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YOUR VOICE: letters@thealchemistweekly.com YOUR SCOOPS: news@thealchemistweekly.com YOUR WORDS: submissions@thealchemistweekly. com CONTACT US: 541.224.6873 editor@thealchemistweekly.com calendar@thealchemistweekly.com ads@thealchemistweekly.com
SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010
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The Alchemist Astrologer Blame the stars, not yourself
ARIES
(March 21 – April 20) You are destined to drive around with ridiculous Beaver car flags as one of those paunchy, middle-aged folks re-living their college glory days.
TAURUS
GEMINI
(April 21 – May 21) The Internet is smarter than you. Unfortunately, so is The Situation.
(May 22 – June 21) The rainy season is coming so it’s the perfect time to pick up a pointless and expensive hobby, like trimming bonsai trees or practicing grip strength (e.g. ripping telephone books in half ).
CANCER
LEO
( June 22 – July 22) It’s all about work-life balance. Be a live-er, the kind that goes out and does things, not the kind that metabolizes alcohol.
( July 23 – August 21) Take advantage of the new energy that comes with 24,000 (broke) college students – hire them for $5 an hour to mow your lawn, walk your dog and fan you with palm fronds.
VIRGO
(August 22 – September 23) For fans of Pineapple Express, register to vote ASAP to cast your ballot on Measure 74. (Using Afroman’s excuse is not an option.)
LIBRA
(September 24 – October 23) Happy Birthday, Libra! May your next year be filled with parties thrown in your honor, large tax returns, and Saved by the Bell re-runs.
SCORPIO
(October 24 – November 22) Take the Corvallis Community Carbon Challenge – save energy by changing furnace filters, taking cold showers, and only drinking local beer.
SAGITTARIUS
(November 23 – December 22) Watch out for cougars – they like to prey on deer, small pets, and drunken frat boys.
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
(December 23 – January 20) You missed National Alpaca Day. Be sure to celebrate National Pierogy Day (October 8) and National It’s OK to Dress Like a Slut Day (October 31, a.k.a. Halloween).
( January 21 – February 19) Stop working through lunch and eating at your desk. At the very least, look at the “real estate porn” at curbed.com.
PISCES
(February 20 – March 20) Take a cue from Encyclopedia Brown and Veronica Mars – solve a neighborhood mystery, like finding out who keeps leaving the religious material on everyone’s doorstep.
In case you haven’t already noticed, reading The Alchemist Weekly will add another 4 inches. If you’re curious, writing for The Alchemist Weekly will add another 6. Send your clips to editor@thealchemistweekly.com * Results are not to scale.
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Take a trip to the Darkside:
SUNDAY
Winnebago Man by: Josh Goller
meet
Credit: The Bear Media
WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM
www.intersector.biz
verdict
work
Before the Internet, viral videos spread via dubbed video tapes, reaching a smaller but even more devoted following. In the age of YouTube, unlikely and sometimes unwilling celebrities spring up, but few people consider the actual people in these videos. Winnebago Man chronicles the search and discovery of Jack Rebney, an RV salesman whose red-faced, foulmouthed sales video outtakes have circulated on VHS and then cyberspace for over twenty years. Filmmaker Ben Steinbauer tracks down Jack on a remote mountaintop in Northern California. He’s been largely unaware of his underground fame and, in his late seventies, he can’t fathom why anyone finds these videos interesting. Turns out Jack is a former journalist, and despite his cantankerous facade, he jumps at the chance to get in front of the cameras one last time. But instead of revealing much about himself, which is Steinbauer’s intention, Jack insists on political diatribes. He’s protective of his past and doesn’t let Steinbauer get too close. He wants to be remembered for something that matters, not some silly internet clips. He may have grown old, but the old school journalist in him is still kicking. As the film progresses, Jack lets down his defenses and, as he loses his eyesight to glaucoma, he begins to listen. Steinbauer structures his film in such a way that the viewer laughs at Jack, then empathizes with him. There’s a reason these types of viral videos persevere. On the surface, they make us laugh, but even at their zaniest, they say something about the human condition. The first and third acts of Winnebago Man are spot on, but the middle gets somewhat muddled. Steinbauer spends too much time manufacturing conflict. He injects himself in the film more than is necessary. But as Jack agrees to make a guest appearance at the Found Footage Festival in San Francisco, where he’s something of a legend, Steinbauer finds his stroke again and pulls off an insightful film about absurd video clips. As entertaining as it source material, Winnebago Man shows how it’s not important that we are remembered in the way we intend, but that we are simply remembered. Winnebago Man is now playing at the Darkside Cinema. For shows and show times, visit darksidecinema.com.
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MEET SWAP
Call Sheri Dover (541) 602-6215
learn
Sell something! Shop for treasures! Snack on something tasty! Enjoy live music! Admission is Free Located at the corner of 1st and Monroe St
join
Sundays from 10:00 to 6:00 pm
BUY 10 GET ONE FREE! NORTH CORVALLIS
29th & Grant (541)452-3115 • 7-9 Daily
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1007 SE 3rd (541)753-3115 • 7-9 Daily
www.firstalt.coop
NEW! Frequent Buyer cards for coffee, muffins & scones, and oatmeal... Saves you time and money!
129 NW 4th Ave
Corvallis, OR 97330
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Q What is a perA Hahahaha! Oh, man. sonal cure when you Who would Jesus wanna
word
Photo by: Mark Martin
FlatTail Brewery’s Brewmaster Dave Marliave opens up about life, beer, ghosts and safari helicopter chases.
Q
A I would be a handrail at a classy airport.
Because, I’m bettin’ you’d have a good chance at being slightly more sanitary than your average airport handrail. You could meet everybody in the world, a lot of interesting people I’m sure are flying in and out of classy airports.
Q
What would your death row meal consist of?
A Giant, giant local buffalo burger. Half an 6
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Q What is your normal, preferred sleep attire?
A That would be 100% naked, yeah. Started sleeping naked in high school so my parents wouldn’t barge in my room in the morning and it kinda just stuck.
Q
A Other than the big mash paddle in the sky,
A Can that be the same answer? Except we’d
have to change the beer of choice to Belgian Dark Strongs. They just make you think so much. Takes your mind off of it. Especially when paired with my dog Rowdy (Labrador/ German Shepherd mix).
Q
Where do we go when we die?
uh...f*** if I know...thats kinda how I’d like to keep it.
Q A This is gonna be cliche’ too but I would build
THE DEGREE with Dave Marliave
If you could be any inanimate object, what would you be? Why?
get sad?
If you had to spend one million dollars in a completely frivolous and selfish manner, how would you blow it?
third
avocado, 2/3 of a pound patty, huge super rare, maybe even just uncooked ‘cause I’m dying anyway... so f*** it. Big avocado, fried onions, and like a big fried egg on top. And then, of course, a bottle of Westy 12 and whatever the latest and greatest beers from Block 15 and Cascade.
get freaky with...uhh the obvious choice would be Mary Magdalene, but that would just be too cliche’. God I hope there aren’t a lot of fundamentalist Alchemist readers. [For the record, we do.] Oh wow. Man, you know I think a Jesus, Dan Marliave and Janis Joplin threesome would just be epic. Get some beer, old school rock n’ roll and serious philosophizin’ in.
Interview by Stanley Tollett
the biggest motherf***in’ backyard brewery ever. It would definitely incorporate at least two water slides. Ummm, I don’t know if gold would be heavy duty enough, but maybe like some diamond encrusted brew kettle, something like that. And definitely a beer fetching robot. In fact, just a lot of robots in general. That would be a good way to do that.
Q
Smell is the sense most tied to memory, with that in mind, what smell do you fear the most?
Favorite article of clothing?
A Definitely would have to be my 9-year-old
pair of Chacos. More miles on those things than I got on my last car, probably.
Q
One luxury item you cannot live without ?
A Nice speakers. I can’t stand shitty speakers. There’s no point in listening to music if you’re not gonna hear half of it.
Q
If aliens landed and asked you to go with them, would you?
A Burning. That Q If you could one’s not too interesting. Q Would you rather A Yes, because odds are spend the day with one Whenever I smell burning have the power of flight if they want you, they’re or invisibility?
A Flight, that one just...ya’ know, invisibility is like a creeper superpower.
Q If you were a bar drink what drink would you be?
A I f***in’ hate bar drinks, uh...does straight
whiskey count? I’d be a double of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle, I’d be okay with that.
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historical figure who would it be? Why?
A Ya know that’s a tough one. Oh this is
gonna sound bad...can it be fictional? Jesus. Not that he’s necessarily fictional. I would wanna know what Jesus really would do, and how pissed off he is right now. And if Dave Matthews was right.
Q If you had to choose one historical figure to have a threesome with the above historical figure, who and why?
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there is some f***in’ pump on fire or something like that. Whenever one of our neighbors burns their dinner I f***ing freak out, especially if I’m asleep...wake up, have some like brewery nightmare or something.
Q What is a personal cure when you get nervous?
A IPA does well, the hoppier the better. Noth-
ing like a lot of lupulin to clam the nerves, Hop tea, also. But that stuff ’s a little strong.
going to take you...may as well be polite.
Q
Have you ever seen a ghost?
A Yes, I firmly believe I have. As a little kid, I
went camping. Myself, my cousin and my cousin’s best friend all came screaming to our respective parents after having seen the exact same thing in three different locations. It was a little boy, wearing one of those like English button down hats. Didn’t really do anything it was just an obvious little kid that wasn’t there, super creepy.
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Q If you had to give A About 4 or 5 years up one sense (sight, old and my dad let me take taste, hearing, touch, smell) what would it be? Why?
A Sight. I feel like I couldn’t give up taste and
smell. I love food and beer too much. That would do me in. And you gotta be able to touch. I don’t know, I think I’ve seen more of the world than I’ve tasted, touched and smelled.
Q
What is more annoying, whistling or humming?
A Aww, f***ing whistling, because I cannot whistle worth a shit.
a sip of white wine at the bottom of his glass and I spat it up in his face, got shit about it until the day I became a brewer and beyond.
Q
Favorite holiday?
Why?
A I am not a big holiday fan. Probably
Thanksgiving...it always tends to be the funniest in retrospect. I think all of the family debauchery and dysfunction really shines on Thanksgiving. Fill people with turkey and booze, and the real them comes out pretty damn fast.
Q most What has been Q Favorite Anatomithe defining mocal feature of the opposite or same sex?
A Totally freckles... makes a plain girl pretty. Q
What is your earliest memory?
ment of your life to date?
A Probably the day I packed up and moved to
Corvallis. I had never been to Corvallis in my life and a buddy of mine told me
he had an open room at his house and two weeks later I moved out here...totally.
Q Favorite activity that should be consid-
Q What question aren't people asked
ered a sport?
A Lets go with Keg Rollin’. Just sounds like it
enough?
would be a good Olympic sport. Shot-put...you’re throwing a giant steel ball, might as well make it a keg.
Q
Favorite Disney Character?
A Ahhh, wow. What was the name of the Terradactyl in The Land Before Time? That one. I loved that movie growin’ up. [The Terradactyl’s name is Petrie]
Q
If you knew you only had 24 hours to live, how would you spend your final day?
A Probably doing the same thing I do everyday.
Brew a batch of beer. Make a big dinner. Hopefully have a few with the family and take the dogs out for a run.
A I think maybe a question that people
should ask themselves more is if they really love what they are doing. I think the world has a huge deficit of people doing something they enjoy doing. Everybody does something for an end goal rather than just to be doing what it is they’re doing.
Q Please answer the above question. A Absolutely! I couldn’t see doing anything else for the rest of my life. Unless I magically become allergic to beer, and ya know start making wine... get to work with your hands, get to be active. At the same time you get to work with your palate.
Q
What makes you happy?
A Lots of things thankfully. I love brew-
ing. I love running. Doing things that keep me busy, doing things that take energy; hiking, my dogs. I’ve got a wonderful girlfriend that puts up with 16 hour shifts and coming home on the weekends and brewing more beer, I think that’s a pretty big thing to be thankful for. Gettin’ my hands dirty, that kind of thing.
Q
What word to people/you use too much?
A Like. F***in’ 1990’s bullshit and I will never
stop saying it. Nor will anyone else in my age group. It kills me a little on the inside every time I do.
Q
Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?
A Oh f*** yeah, ‘cause if you haven’t loved and lost at least thirty times by the time your 20, then you’re doing something wrong.
Q
Is it better to be lucky or skilled?
A Skilled. I don’t know how much I believe in luck, but if it exists I sure as shit don’t have it so better be good at something.
Q
Do you have any recurring dreams?
A Throughout high school I had a recurring
dream where I would be in my middle school before a black hole opened up in the floor and I was sucked into this weird ass like African safari led by my parents and somehow [it] ended in like a helicopter chase.
Block 15 Brewing presents The 2nd Annual
BLOKTOBERFEST
October 9th 1 pm - 11 pm
LIVE MUSIC ALL DAY:
Guten Zeiten Band, Wild Hog in the Woods, and Bon Ton Roulet Under the big tent at 4th and Jefferson (a block down from Block 15) SERVING BLOKTOBER MARZEN LAGER and OAKSHIRE BREWING’S FRESH HOP ALE IN LIMITED EDITION OKTOBERFEST TANKARDS
$5 / admission
GERMAN SAUSAGE, BEER PRETZELS, APPLE CAKE
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THE ALCHEMIST
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Little puppet made of pine, awake, the gift of life is thine Paul Kincaid’s custom guitars give life to the music.
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f you threw a paper airplane off the top of Mary’s Peak and the wind miraculously picked it up and carried it all the way to Corvallis, no doubt
that little paper airplane would end up in the hands of a
musician, or in the hands of someone that personally knows a musician. American culture cannot be separated from its music, it’s in our history, and it’s in our livelihood. In Corvallis, the number of working musicians speaks volumes to how much our community loves live music. The stages, the glitz, the glamour, are all integral parts of the enjoyment. For a musician, beyond the show, their craft is their talent and their talent is on display through a medium, an instrument. Vocalists have ourtney lenney their voice, drummers have their drums, bassists have their basses, and guitarists have their guitars. Without instruments, there is no music. Much like a carpenter cannot build a house without a hammer, the tools of the trade make the musician. When Corvallis guitarist Curtis Monette (audiophilia, Stairway Denied, Belly Full of Bob) was a child, he began to dream of a very specific guitar that he hoped one day he would own. Self professed as “spoiled” when it came to instruments— he’s owned top-notch guitars such as a Gibson Les Paul and a Fender Stratocaster—Monette knew what he wanted when he began having casual conversations with Paul Kincaid at Bombs Away Café a couple of years ago. One of many specifics was the main wood that Monette requested. Koa. The same wood used in a custom guitar Trey Anastasio (Phish) plays. The beautiful wood, a deep reddish-brown in color, only occurs naturally in Hawaii, making it very expensive on the mainland. As luck would have it, Kincaid traveled to the island a couple months later on vacation and found himself inside a woodshop carrying the perfect slab of Koa at a fraction of the cost. Within minutes, Monette had confirmed the purchase and Kincaid had a new project. A project is a lax term for what Kincaid does. Through his craftsmanship he literally transforms a piece of lifeless and sometimes discarded wood into a means of enjoyment for hundreds of people—the musician and the audience. He is a custom guitar maker, also known as a luthier, and he does them one at a time, taking care to know the musician as much as he knows the instrument he’s crafting. And, the results tend to leave the players in awe.
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Paul Kincaid slots a fret board.
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“It’s basically as close to having a child as you can get. I baby this thing and I love this thing so much. It does so much for me. Being a guitar player and to be on stage and have that comfort ability—you don’t really have to think about what your doing. You’ve played the guitar long enough that you don’t really have to second guess yourself,” Monette says. “This particular guitar is just amazing to me, it’s hard to really describe it in words.” Mixing a love of music and the skill of carpentry, Kincaid has been crafting and constructing custom guitars for himself and some of Corvallis’ best players for nearly 11 years. But, it began many years earlier. When Kincaid’s brother, Sam Kincaid, received a Fender Squire Stratocaster for Christmas one year. The two began to experiment with guitar playing, often being told to knock it off by the neighbors because the ghastly sounds coming from the garage were too much for them to handle. Kincaid built his first guitar in eighth grade and the second one a few years later in high school. His first shop was a Volkswagen van flittered with sawdust and kept parked most of the time. When Kincaid was only 14-years-old, he was taken under the wing of a man, who he claims taught him a large number of life lessons as well as skills of instrument making. The man, Charlie Ogle, is a Viola Da Gamba maker and he gave Kincaid some of his best tools that he still uses to this day. Furthermore, when Kincaid was having difficulty finding spruce to brace the top of Monette’s guitar, Ogle sent a log over. It arrived with no packaging, just a log with an address label. Along with learning from Ogle, Kincaid has also been an apprentice at a violin shop where he learned, in large part, what not to do. “If you do the same repair over and over again, for example, Gibson headstocks—mahogany necks break very easily if it’s just mahogany, no re-enforcement,” he says. “I’m not likely to do just a standard without reinforcement of the headstock, because they break.” This term, at Oregon State University, Kincaid will be instructing a guitar making class for the third year. In preparation for the gig he read every book about guitar making he could find at the library. He actually admits that teaching the class has taught him a lot about his own craft, forcing him to go through each step in sequence. The boy knows wood. And he has the shop to prove it. He’s moved up from that vintage van to a bona fide man cave just south of town in a storage-building complex. In the middle of a complex used more for band practices and craftsman than storage, his shop is two stories of wood working tools, whole logs, and sawdust. Kincaid has spent countless hours in the windowless space pouring himself into his craft. He’s super glued guitar inlay parts to his fingers, anguished over one side of a guitar that he had to spend 20 minutes on to get the perfect curve and fitting. Not only does he make the guitars, he also makes some of the tools or “jigs” he might need to accommodate a specific request, such as a recessed carving on the back of a guitar. Kincaid had to create a contraption to allow his tools to carve away some of the body of the guitar for an image to show. He’s usually alone in his work so he may not scream, but the fly on the wall might definitely here a few choice words mumbled under his breath. “A lot of instruments are very beautiful but you pick them up and they’re not really that great of instruments. I want to make sure that they play and they do what they’re supposed to do and they sound good as well as have aesthetics,” Kincaid says.
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The minutia of building an excellent sounding instrument can be compared to brain surgery, one slip to the left or right and you’re effed. Kincaid says when slotting a fret board you have to be within a fraction of a millimeter or the instrument doesn’t sound like you want it to, “You have to be precise for something to be playable and useable.” A musician himself, Kincaid understands this all too well. He only plays his own instruments, save for the Peavey bass he might play now and again for a punk rock show that he knows might get a little wild. “After you play an instrument that you made, at least for a while anyways, playing something that’s production, that you’ve bought out of the store, just doesn’t seem right anymore,” Kincaid says. A professional guitar for a client can take anywhere from 75 to 300 hours working time, but Kincaid has been known to build them overnight for himself. Specifically, in 11 hours when he wanted a new guitar for a show the next day. Spending so much time with a particular instrument, it’s not surprising that Kincaid develops an attachment to his creations. He’s built over 20 guitars and still knows where all of them are and even has contact with most of them on a regular basis, aside from a couple that are out of state. A modern day Geppetto, Kincaid is over-joyed when his Pinocchios come to life. “One of my favorite feelings in life is to go to a show and see one of my guitars on stage,” Kincaid says. Monette’s guitar sees the limelight a lot and so does a five-string bass Kincaid built for Dan Scollard a few months ago as a gift. Having played bass for over thirty years, Scollard is well
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Photo by Paul Kincaid
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known in the industry and a local Corvallian. Kincaid says nearly every bassist he knows has either taken lessons from Scollard or is taking lessons from him. “I just thought this is a really good person to have one of my instruments. I wanted him to have one because I knew good things would come from that,” Kincaid says. For months, Kincaid and Scollard exchanged emails and conversations about bass specifics, inlay patterns, wood selection, string length, etc. Unbeknownst to Scollard, Kincaid was creating a guitar with everything he could want, and need, as he was having to borrow a five-string from friends for bands he was playing with that required that instrument. Because Scollard plays vintage Fenders, Kincaid needed to compete on the level of those iconic guitars, and he was up to the challenge. When the instrument was almost complete, Kincaid decided to make the reveal to Scollard during a dinner party. Kincaid brought in some of the parts and began to show them. It took a while for it to click with Scollard that the bass was for him. “Who the hell are you making this for, I want to meet this guy, he’s totally inside my f***ing head,” Scollard said. “It’s for you,” Kincaid replied. A long pause followed as Scollard tried to comprehend what Kincaid was telling him. The bass, Scollard says, “is completely over the top.” “I think that this bass particularly fits, it’s a brand new instrument and it has some new features about it, but it fits into my arsenal of vintage basses really nicely. As does the sound, it sounds fantastic,” Scollard says. “It’s actually built better than my vintage Fenders.” Many musicians dream of the stage, they dream of being
Photo by Paul Kincaid
hoto by Katy Weaver
Photo by Paul Kincaid
Photo by Paul Kincaid
Photo by Paul Kincaid
famous. For Scollard, that part of the craft is the most artificial part. He is long over the idea of becoming a rock star. For him, it’s about connecting with someone else to make a beautiful sound. But the joy of playing a custom guitar is not lost on him either. “It adds something to the gig for me, to be playing a custom guitar that I know is made the way I like it, guess I can’t kind of put my finger on it, but it’s not the rock star thing, it’s more like—it just richens the flavor of the whole thing to know that you’ve got this beautiful piece of art that somebody built by hand. Just makes it kind of a deeper pleasure, more involved pleasure to play music. Plus I think it’s beautiful,” Scollard says. It is so beautiful, in fact, that he has it prominently displayed in his living room. As beautiful as they are and even developing the craft of woodworking into an art, Kincaid doesn’t make glass eggs. “I want someone to play it. I don’t like the idea of building guitars for collectors. I don’t want to build things that are just going to sit in a glass case. Even if it’s someone who plays casually and just has it around, but just touches it and appreciates it, I feel like that’s a major part of what goes into hand building something. I feel like the touch, it’s a very tactile thing, hand carving and hand making instruments, I Curtis Monette with his custom feel like they should be handled,” he says. guitar made of Koa. Giving away guitars is not a new concept for Kincaid. Photo by Peter Chee Last year for his tenth anniversary of being in business he raffled a guitar with the proceeds, over a grand, going to the Jackson Youth Shelter. Currently, he is the beginning stages of making a guitar to raise money for a breast cancer charity (the exact organization has not been determined). The guitar is in the shape of a pink ribbon and made from the pinkest wood he could find— pink ivory. These types Dan Scollard and his five string bass guitar. Photo by Katy Weaver of interesting or eccen-
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tric guitars are what Kincaid specializes in building. Currently, he is working on a top secret guitar in the shape of a trident to be revealed at his next show with Project 431 at Bombs Away Café, October 29. Showing his creativity to the extreme, it will utilize human bone. “I would like it if my bones were used in artwork and for music and so I feel like it’s still a respectful thing to do to someone else’s bones to use them for artwork and for music,” Kincaid says. These artistic approaches to creating a custom guitar make them very difficult to duplicate. Kincaid has not ever made the same guitar twice. He’s not completely opposed to the idea, knowing that some players require back-ups of their instrument to be tuned in different ways or what have you. The materials Kincaid uses in some of his instruments would be very difficult to duplicate as well. Much like the instrument will know the story of its player, many of the woods used in Kincaid’s guitars already have a story to tell— a piece of wood from Indonesia trapped under volcanic ash for hundreds of years, for example. “I do like to make crazy guitars. I like going a little over the top. So if someone just came to me and said, Paul I’d like you to make me a guitar, I hope they’re ready when it’s done. If they just say guitar and leave it completely open at that, they might end up with something completely outrageous,” Kincaid says. Monette says his guitar has become “his little buddy,” and this personified notion brings a whole other light to the guitars Kincaid creates. It furthers the musical experience transcending it beyond the personal skill of a musician playing on an assembly line processed machine. The skill of the instrument and what it can add to the sound becomes as much a part of it as the musician. “His guitars are awesome and they all have character. The Stratocaster I have is reliable, it does the same thing every time,” Sam says. “Some of his instruments have a little quirk to them that you can play with and actually bring out, I mean I guess you don’t really do it, it does it and you have to follow it.” A learned guitarist can walk in to a Guitar Center and play pretty much anything off the shelf. “I can’t go into a guitar store and find anything that’s quite like this,” Monette says. Which is, of course, precisely Kincaid’s point.
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Lessons of localities
Your Weekend Starts Here Home of the 6-Pack Friday
A parallax view of Corvallis from Guatemala.
Part I by: Robin Canfield
literati
What can a small American city like Corvallis learn from Guatemalan cities like Antigua or San Miguel Escobar, or vice versa? Primero, todos son americanos – we are all Americans. The differences between these places can sometimes feel vast, and sometimes non-existent. Antigua is a city of about 35,000 citizens and is both the former capitol of Guatemala and of all Latin America; there are fantastic crumbling buildings and relics aplenty. Like Corvallis it is nestled in a lush, green valley – but this valley is 1600 meters above sea level. Cross the location with immense Mayan heritage and a huge smattering of Spanish-language schools and you get large-scale, continual tourism and never-ending competition between locals instead of civic pride. Such pride is one cue that Antigua could take from a university town like Corvallis; the major tourist seasons see an influx of tourists at least equal to the influx of students in Corvallis during the school year, but in Antigua the camaraderie of the locals is lacking. Also, the much larger, more-centered commercial district of Antigua has at least as many college students roaming the streets as does all of off-campus Corvallis. In one week this reporter saw Oregon State, University of Oregon, and Willamette University shirts, among others. While students roam Corvallis in the fall and spring, now is the more popular time for them in Guatemala. Even though it’s summer, between the students and the rainy season, August in Antigua feels like October in Corvallis. The average temperature is higher, but the clouds are thick and plentiful, the nights are chilly, and it rains daily. Were the price right, Antiguan locals in the rain would surely be dressed like Corvallis folk rather than walking trash bags. The larger downtown area of Antigua is actually the center of the city. The streets run East to West, avenues run North to South. Every road is gridded as East or West by placement to Central Park – for instance there is a great restaurant at the corner of 4th Street East and 3rd Avenue North. The only exceptions to the names on Antiguan streets are the ones named for nearby landmarks, which only makes things easier for tourists. It’s not as stylish as a disorganized listing of Presidents, but it’s much simpler and definitely easier for inebriated college students and others to guide by.  If one still has trouble getting around, well beyond the town landmarks are the many mountains and volcanoes surrounding the town; when the skies are clear the towering volcano Agua is easy to guide by. Back on the streets, what makes things confusing is that for every storefront you pass on the roads there are at least two more hidden within the walls that surround every block. It’s a colonial style, courtyard-centered layout where every block used to be one compound that has now
been divvied up. There are signs for shops all over but Antiguan businesses could certainly benefit from a more open commercial environment like that of Corvallis. Cabs and buses cruise the cobblestone streets constantly, but any semblance to Corvallis is shattered when you watch a tuk-tuk zip by in traffic. Tuk-tuks are those tiny, three-wheeled motorized carts you may have seen in films from Southeast Asia. Quick, light, and easier on gas, Corvallis is long overdue for this kind of transport. Much the same way, were it not for the cruelly bumpy cobblestone roads, pedi-cabs would certainly be all the rage in Antigua. While this traffic moves all about the city, the hub is the bus station – smartly placed adjacent to the farmers market. Anyone whose biggest Farmers Market experience is Corvallis would be blown away by this giant, daily sales extravaganza. If that sounds like too much for you, there are plenty of tiny storefronts that provide drinks and snacks, or even better – a street vendor, another thing long overdue in Corvallis. A corner stand selling fresh tortillas may or may not take off in Corvallis, but why anyone would need a whole shop to sell hotdogs instead of a simple stand is hard to fathom. Sipping fresh-squeezed fruit juice from a street vendor is another cheap, easy way to go in Antigua that is just a bit uncomfortable that first time you walk down the street cradling a plastic bag full of juice. It’s hard to say whether Corvallis vendors would replace that with a big plastic cup or something biodegradable, but Corvallis could certainly teach Antigua a lesson about recycling. In a city of massive tourism and no potable public water the closest thing to recycling is, unfortunately, filling your empty plastic bottle at the nearest jug. To close on Corvallis and Antigua, it’s easy to pick out lessons to be learned in places that can be so different. Really, though, it’s the similarities with caveats that can drive the point home. In both Antigua and Corvallis you can eat out at Burger King, Dominoes, and more, but McDonalds just isn’t the same when you pass an armed guard on the way in, dine beside a magnificent fountain in the fresh air of an open courtyard, and have to lean way down to the barely waist-high sinks to wash your hands in the bathroom.
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Thursday October 7th Rusty Hinges 7:30 pm
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Last week's puzzle solutions
LIVE MUSIC
1. Sunday event 5. Suffix with multi or cine 9. Change, evolutionarily 14. An Aleutian island 15. Carry the gas and the matches, say 16. Philadelphia producer who once dated M.I.A. 17. ___ cell research 18. *Wheel inventor 20. Gun barrel measurement 22. “Fear Street” author 23. Of base 8 24. Preteen sartorial debut, often 25. “___ of little faith” 26. *Toilet tinkerer (coincidentally) 31. Obama, once: Abbr. 32. Stoicism founder 33. British music giant 34. *Tobacco importer 37. Vegas table worker: Abbr. 38. 1980 Olympic silver medal hockey letters 39. Mathematician Lovelace 42. *Fitness pioneer 46. Some sexy sports cars 48. Mai ___ (rum-based beverage) 49. Foils’ cousins
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Across
Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig
OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
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artsalbany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath & culture
05 06 tuesday wednesday Albany
bump
IOOF Hall 738 SW 5th Ave Western Square Dance Class [DANCE] 7:00 pm Linn County Expo Center 3700 Knox Butte Rd. English Springer Spaniel Field Trials National Specialty Show [WATCH]
Corvallis
Austin Auditorium, LaSells James Curleigh: How to succeed in 21st century business [LEARN] 7:00 pm
Corvallis Elks Lodge 1400 NW 9th St. Beginner Line Dance [DANCE] 7:00 pm
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Old Armory Building 104 4th St. Forum: Senator Frank Morse and Challenger Dan Rayfield, Moderator: Diane White, Sponsored by the Linn County League of Women Voters [ELECTION] 7:00 pm
The Arts Center 700 SW Madison Brown Bag Art Talk [LEARN] 12:00 pm, FREE Benton County Library My First Book Club [KIDS] 3:30 pm, FREE
07 thursday
Albany Eagles Lodge 127 NW Broadalbin St Country dance lessons [DANCE] 7:00 pm, $4
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American Dream Pizza 214 SW 2nd St. Dine for the Arts: Arts Center Fundraiser [EAT] 10:00 am to close
Avery House Nature Center 1200 Avery Park Rd. “Native American and Pioneer Life: Schools Get Out Into Nature” [LEARN] 9:00 am, $32/full day, $18/half day
Old World Deli 341 SW 2nd St Belly Dance [DANCE] 8:00 pm
Albany
Corvallis
The Arts Center “Adventures in Madagascar! A Globetrotters Program” [KIDS] 8:00 am, $60 per day
First Congregational Churc Kerry Ahearn and Shep Levine on Bernard Malamud [HEAR] 9:30 am
OSU Women’s Building Rm 112 Salsa Dancing [DANCE] 8:00pm
OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
Linn County Expo Center English Springer Spaniel Field Trials National Specialty Show [WATCH]
Enoteca Wine Bar Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 6:30 pm, $10
First Presbyterian Church 114 SW 8th St. Dr Marcus Borg: “Christian and American: Then and Now” [LEARN] 7:00 pm
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Linn County Expo Center English Springer Spaniel Field Trials National Specialty Show [WATCH]
Corvallis Skate Park Juggling lessons [FUN] 6:30, FREE
First Congregational Church 4515 SW West Hills Rd. Jim Flory: “Memorires of a Missionary’s Kid: Internment and Revolution” 9:30 am Jim Flory: “Memorires of a Bob Collier: “20,000 Megabytes Under the Sea” [LEARN] 1:30 pm
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Albany Eagles Lodge 127 Broadalbin St Albany Senior Dance, [DANCE] 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm, $3
Cloud 9 Beer and Blog [DRINK] 5:00 pm, FREE Infinite Improvabilities [LAUGH] 9:00 pm, FREE
Enoteca Wine Bar Girls Night Out! Knit Night [MAKE] 4:00 pm
WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd Team Trivia League Warm-Up [PLAY] 6:00 pm
Albany Public Library Enduring A’s Model A Ford Club Meeting [MEET] 7:30 pm
Albany Public Library Book Discussion, Eric Larson’s “Isaac’s Storm,” [LEARN] 7:00 pm
Corvallis
Benton County Library Teen writing workshop [WRITE] 6:00 pm
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis 2945 NW Circle Blvd Corvallis Community Choir rehearsal [SING] 7:00pm, $50/ term
Albany
Benton County Library “Read to the Reading Education Assistance Dogs” [KIDS] 3:30 pm Enoteca Wine Bar Chocolate Truffle Happy Hour, [EATS] FREE Truffles, 6:00 pm First Alternative Co-Op South 1007 SE 3rd St. Beer Tasting [DRINK] 1st and 3rd Thursdays 5:00 pm First Alternative Co-Op North 29th and Grant Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 2nd and 4th Thursdays 5:00 pm First Congregational Church David Bernell: “Hugo Chavez’s Oil Politics at Home and Abroad” [LEARN] 9:30 am
WineStyles Wine Tasting [DRINK] 5:30 pm, $5
Lebanon
Lebanon Downtown Main St. Farmers Market [BUY] 3:00 pm
08 friday Albany
Linn County Expo Center English Springer Spaniel Field Trials National Specialty Show [WATCH]
Corvallis
Corvallis Senior Center 2601 NW Taylor Ave Friday Night Dancers, [DANCE] 7:00 pm, $4 First Alternative Co-Op South, 1007 SE 3rd St. Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 5:00 pm LaBamba Mix Night Club PRIDE La Bamba, [DANCE] 8:00 pm, $3 WineStyles, 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Friday Night Wine Flight, [DRINK] 5:00 pm
SATURDAY Albany
City Hall Parking Lot Albany Farmer’s Market [BUY] 9:00 am Linn County Expo Center English Springer Spaniel Field Trials National Specialty Show [WATCH]
Corvallis
Benton County Fairgrounds Kids Day for Conservation [KIDS] 10:0am - 4:00pm, FREE Block 15’s Bloktoberfest Big Tent/4th and Jefferson Live music all day, German food, great beer [FUN] 1:00 pm, $5
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Corvallis Dance Center 1935 NW Circle Blvd Swing Dance Lessons [DANCE] 4:00 pm, 5:00 pm, and 6:00 pm First Street and Monroe Corvallis Artisans Market, 9:00 am–1:30 pm corvallisartisansmarket.com Corvallis Farmers’ Market, 9:00 am-1:00 pm locallygrown.org Muddy Creek Corn Maze 27001 Llewellyn Rd Get lost [FUN] 11:00 am to 5:00 WineStyles Wine Tasting, 4:00 pm
Lebanon
Santiam Place Event Hall 139 Main St. Ladies Night Out: Benefit for Beta Sigma Phi and Habitat for Humanity [MEET] 4:00 pm Willamette Speedway Airport Rd. Fall Classic: Wingless Sprints-Midgets and PHRA Dwarfs Tix window opens at 2 pm, $14
09 saturday Albany
LBCC, Russell Tripp Performance Center “Discovering the Dutch” [SEE] 2:00 pm, $8
Corvallis
Avery Park, Thompson Shelter 139 Main St. Green-Progressive Jamboree & BBQ with The Raging Grannies, River Rocks, Green-Progressive Candidates & more…[MEET] 2:00 pm to 8:00 pm Benton County Fairgrounds The 20th Annual Great Pumpkin Run to benefit Home Life Inc [RUN] 8:30 am Enoteca Wine Bar Book Group [READ] 3:00 pm
To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor, calendar@thealchemistweekly.com. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.
alchemist pick FIRST THURSDAY IN CORVALLIS THE ARTS:
The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Avenue theartscenter.net 5:30-7pm Art: 8th Around Oregon Annual--Artist Reception This reception celebrates 34 outstanding Oregon artists. Meet them all, and savor the fine art and extravagant goodies. Art in the Valley, 209 SW 2nd St. artinthevalley.net 10:00 am - 5:30 pm Art: Hope Meados Stylistically colorful paintings full of energy
Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd Street majestic.org 5:00 - 6:30 pm Paul Rickey Paul Rickey delights in drawing and painting old buildings. His favorite medium is the felt pen. Using the felt pen tends to eliminate clutter in the drawing while circling in on details. Mona Lisa’s Custom Framing and Prints, 133 S.W. 2nd monalisaspictureframing.com 6:00 - 8:00 pm Art: Antique maps and prints courtesy of Prints Old and Rare www.printsoldandrare.com We will be featuring an assortment of antique prints. Including an 1853 map of the Oregon/Washinington Territory Pegasus Frame Studio & Gallery, 341 SW 2nd St pegasusartgallery.com 10:30 am - 530 pm Art: Earl Drebing Sculptures and Local Workshop Painters Pegasus Gallery is honored to host the life works of unknown sculpture Earl Drebing along with a collection of local artists’ 2-D works recently created on a September 2010 workshop experience in Sisters, Oregon. Come see the effort of some really great makers!
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Aqua Seafood Restaurant aquacorvallis.com 151 Nw Monroe #102 Special: Steamed Bananna Leaf Mahi Mahi Lemon verbena broth, bamboo shoots, jasmine rice, fresh julienned vegetables
Cloud9 Bistro & Bar dinecloud9.com 126 Sw First Special: Seared Salmon Polenta cake, summer squash, cherry tomato vinaigrette
Insideout Garden Visions, 121 NW 2nd St insideoutgardenvisions.com 4:00 - 7:00 pm Art: Entwine Jewelery, prishabrown.com Entwine Jewelry is a line of handwoven jewelry made from precious metals, pearls, and faceted gemstones, created by Prisha Brown.
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THE EATS:
Big River Restaurant / 101 Eat & Drink 101 NW Jackson Ave bigriverrest.com Special: The Duet A delicious duet of chocolate cake and coconut cake combined with coconut white chocolate cream
downtown dental, Dr. Chris Martel, 142 SW 2nd ST bestdowntowndental.com 5:00 - 7:00 pm Art: Dave Bassett, bassettstudios.com Dave Bassett will display some of his scenic Oregon photography and select favorites from his 20+ year career
Renaissance Tower Lobby, 136 SW Washington Ave. delalmarestaurant.com 4:00 - 8:00 pm Art: Greta Ashworth (aka Gretchen Bracher) gretaashworth.com Greta’s influenced by both early Flemish and contemporary surreal painters. She strives for (slightly dark) humor in her quirky animals.
Sibling Revelry, 145 NW 2nd St 5:00 - 8:00 pm Art: Cat Shelby Cat makes fabulous diachroic earrings, pendants & bracelets, and plans to bring some of her larger art pieces as well.
del Alma Restaurant delalmarestaurant.com 136 SW Washington Ave. Suite 102 Special: Borrego Borracho “Drunken Lamb” Tender braised Cattail Creek lamb shank, pasilla chile sauce, tequila soaked apricots, vanilla whipped sweet potatoes Downward Dog Pub & Grub drinkthedog.com 130 Sw First Special: Caprese Burger 1/2 pound “Painted Hills” natural burger, farmer’s market basil pesto, heirloom tomato, fresh mozzarella Flat Tail Brewery flattailcorvallis.com 202 Sw First Special: Smoked Brisket Sandwich Sub piled high with smoked brisket, caramelized onions, white cheddar & horseradish mayo Le Bistro French Restaurant lebistrocorvallis.com 150 Sw Madison Special: Apricot Pistachio Pork Tenderloin Pistachio crusted pork tenderloin medaliions with warm apricot centers, braised greens, balsamic reduction Luc i-love-luc.com 134 SW Fourth Street Special: Hash with house-made bacon or duck confit Terzo Italian Restaurant terzocorvallis.com 151 Nw Monroe #101 Special: Smoked Chicken Orecchiette Smoked chicken, maitake mushrooms, hazelnuts, cranberries, basil oil, alfredo
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music albany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath
05 tuesday
alchemist pick
Contributed Photo
Tangent
Sunnyside Up Café Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE
Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Pure Country Night - Country Dancing [DJ] 9:00pm Valentino’s Pizzeria Jeff Lesmeister [ACOUSTIC] 7:00 pm, FREE
Corvallis
Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 2nd St. and B Ave. Eric Nicholson [ACOUSTIC] 3:30 pm, FREE
Dixie Creek Saloon Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE
Stompin' out the blues
It didn’t take long for this Portland junk-box blues duo to establish a following in Corvallis. By their second show, they packed the comfy Bombs Away Café and were throwing down to a rowdy crowd. Should you be surprised? The broken down blues is a timeless genre that will span generations as long as the musician’s involved can conjure the spirit that Robert Johnson found at the crossroads, cat gut in hand. The grand successes of the Black Keys and the White Stripes are proof of that. Hillstomp is your regional version of those national groups, but don’t expect anything less from them just because they aren’t on a major label. Their 2005 album “The Women That Ended the World” was declared by the Willamette Week as the Best Local Album ahead of The Decemberists and Sleater-Kinney. They just released their latest album, “Darker the Night.” If you’re looking for a night to whoop it up and enjoy the blues the way it was intended, down and dirty, this Friday at Bombs Away Café is your place to be. $5 cover, 9:00 pm, 21+. -Noah Stroup
Peacock Bar and Grill Jonny Dark and the Wondertones, [BLUES] 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex [DJ] 9:00 pm, FREE
Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Ladies Night with DJ Unofficial [DJ] 9:00pm
Sunnyside Up Café Bluegrass Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE
Bombs Away Café Colin Woekel Acoustic Showcase [ACOUSTIC] 8:00 pm, FREE
08 friday
Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, FREE
Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant Lisa Taylor [CLARINET] 5:30 pm, FREE
Lebanon
Peaocock Bar and Grill East The Brand, [BLUES], 7:00 pm
Tangent
Dixie Creek Saloon Battle of the Bands 7:00 pm
07 thursday
Corvallis
Lebanon Farmers’ Market Rick and Lavina Ross [FOLK] 5:00 pm, FREE Peacock Bar and Grill East Blues Jam featuring Kendall Lee and the Roadhouse Blues Band, 7:00 pm, FREE Every other Thursday
Calapooia Brewing Rusty Hinges [AMERICANA] 9:00pm, FREE
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OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial [DJ] 9:00 pm
Corvallis
The Beanery on 2nd Dan Coyle [FOLK] 8:00 pm, FREE
Albany
Bombs Away Café Hillstomp, McDougal [BLUES] 9:00 pm, $7
09 saturday
Albany
City Hall Parking Lot 4th and Ellsworth Albany Farmer’s Market Eric Nicholson [FOLK] 9:30 am Calapooia Brewing Brooks Robertson [FINGERSTYLE] 8:00 pm Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial, 9:00 pm
Corvallis
Bombs Away Café Midwest Dilemma [AMERICANA] 9:30 pm Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Karl Smiley [AMERICANA] 8:00 pm Corvallis Farmers’ Market First St and Monroe The BlueBonics [BLUES] 9:30 am
alchemist pick
Lebanon
Albany
14
Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Adam Scramstad [BLUES] 8:00 pm
Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex, 9:00 pm, FREE
Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE
Albany
CHS Main Stage David Grisman Quintet [ACOUSTIC] 8:00 pm, $35
OSU Memorial Union Lounge Amy Goeser Kolb and David Riley [OBOE and PIANO] 12:00 pm
Corvallis
06 wednesday
Cloud 9 Rusty Hinges, The Last Drags [FOLK ROCK] 10:00 pm
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Stay classy Corvallis
As a Corvallis resident for many years now, I am proud when local people are able to book nationally popular bands to play in our city. Last July, I had the pleasure of meeting Fred Kane, 57, of Corvallis for an interview about the Beavergrass Bluegrass Festival. I came away impressed with his passion for bluegrass music and his dedicated vision to bring top musical talent to share with the community. Kane and his wife, Susan, owners of New World Productions, are back at it again as they have booked renowned bluegrass instrumental musicians The David Grisman Quintet to perform at the Corvallis High School Main Stage Theater on Friday, October 8 at 8 p.m. Grisman is arguably one of the best mandolin players in the world and has played for 45 years with such famous artists as Peter Rowan and the late Jerry Garcia. I have to admit I didn’t know much about Grisman before choosing this event as my Alchemist Pick of the Week, but after watching several of his concerts on YouTube I’m blown away by just how gifted a mandolin player and performer he is. If I didn’t have to work on Friday nights, I would not miss this rare opportunity to see a brilliant musician and his band play live in the Willamette Valley. Tickets for the show can be purchased online now at www.corvallistheaters.com. -Patrick Fancher
THE ALCHEMIST
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WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM
LaSells Stewart Center International Youth Piano Recital [PIANO] 3:30 pm, FREE Oddfellow’s Hall Orquesta Monte Calvo at Planet Boogie [AFRO-LATIN] 8:00 pm, $5-$10 Peacock Bar and Grill DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE Squirrel’s Tavern 5th and B [ JAZZ] 9:00 pm
Lebanon
Lebanon Coffee House and Eatery, 661 Main Street Afternoon Free Movie, 2:00 pmLive Music, 6:30 pm
10 sunday Albany
Calapooia Brewing Blues Jam, 4:00 pm Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant, 2306 Heritage Way SE Strings of Time [ACOUSTIC] 5:30 pm, FREE
Corvallis
Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE
Lebanon
Merlin’s Bar Jam Session [ JAM] 7:00 pm
11 monday Corvallis
Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Southtown Open Mic, 8:00 pm
To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.
Poetic License: The Flailing Inhalers
Stomping up the sidewalk I spy a yellow van beaten and adorned; adored, I suspect, by five men inside, armed with axes, sticks, and stompboxes. ‘bac’ is stamped behind my knuckles by a bigger man than I (a rarity here; my southern stock being well fed by Kansas beef slashed with grits an gravy, far so far, from anything Nearly Normal) Into the corner, a girl nearby expresses disgust; some dude peed on the toilet seat, despite ‘having aiming equipment an shit’. Her plotted revenge is drowned out by barks and buzzes; feedback, low and pissy, 60hz in all its un-muted glory. “A good start,” someone on stage remarks. I like the look of these inhalers; jackets and vests ironically applied, ties hanging slapdash over cargos and Chuck Taylors, the outfits echo their name; just clever enough to not roll my eyes back into my head. A claymation cowboy greets us; pleased as punch for our attention. Two chords begin trading time, a man with crazy in his eyes, sporting a plaid sweater vest tells us of his years mixing tears with heart and soul, of dirt and hurt and dilligence, unfading to a God, disbelieved. The kick comes in, just two beats in time, building up the cadence as the guitars begin to moan, folded hands, upon one man’s blown mind. Custom built changeover kicks us into “Pretty Disease” according to my incredibly helpful, artful, nifty little program, never seen one of these at a rock show, but welcome to a scribbler with crippled neurons. This is garage like I haven’t heard in ages, like I expected to be issuing from every dim, smoke-filled storage unit I passed, once I moved here. No banjos, no bongos; no patchouli-scented incantations, just rock; wistful, angry and maybe a bit unhinged. “Cock It Back” brings back memories of a giant Pam Anderson, Lit riffing lines off her bikinied ass. Sweater-Vest’s voice is a manic growl; EQ’d by Marlboro, attitude by something wicked tossed into a glass of Tang. As he flails, rails against his straight stand, Bass moves to the front; all smooth and swagger, and with quad 18s under his command, shakes the cuties shod with calf-boots until nipples show through vintage tees. The guitars swell, searing eardrums, the lead leaps back and forth between them, slivers under fingernails staining the middle-class melancholy seeping out between the stitching of faux-preppy threads. Four songs in ten minutes; not quite Clash but hard and fast, each song an desperate slash at my ears.
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“Marvin” confirms my suspicions of celticpunk influences, (the drums, always look to the drums) my accomplices begin to kick theories around the empties; “Dropkick without vowels crimped by a Bahstan tongue,” “Dropkick via Built to Spill sideswiped by Alk Trio,” “The Black Crowes cross-pollinated with Bad Religon…” Consensus: A grungy breakfast in the 90s, Double-clutch lunch with 2000s power-pop, Dinner and dancing with Guided by Voices, Then shot shot, shot shot shots and back alley black eyes from the Murphys. All wrong, I’m sure, but from their minds to your ears. By the time the bass starts climbing “Ladder” the jackets and vests are gone, the ties are loose and sweaty; the real show has begun. The single, if I was an A&R man comes next; “Smooth”; the hook is gold, the riffs raging before under-stated drumming kicked off by a Dookie-esque jumpstart. slide guitar slithers inbetween a madman screaming “WE DON’T HAVE TO SPEAK!” Ex-Sweater-Vest’s eyes wide, jaw agape, throat straining with a primal scream worthy of Janov’s childhood nightmares. Setbreak; no hot-boxed bathroom this time; almost disappointed, Bombs Away. Free CD snagged and ogled; “Go ♥ Yourself ”; simple red heart on the front, a blue heart strapped with six guns on the back, the emotional equivalent of a Yosemite Sam mudflap, perhaps. Outside, a girl with cateye glasses, smelling vaguely of postmodernism, examines the thick braid snaking down beside my neck and asks if I’m a Native American. “I used to be.” she stands hip-cocked, waiting for the punchline, when it doesn’t come, she hits me in the shoulder and turns back to her friends. My mind boggles at the sight of acoustic guitars; This set is more Of A Revolution, more Sublime, more front porch sing-a-long, stirring memories of busking and bad beer in the Jungle of the Midwest Sea, completed with a “Horsemeat Sammich”. My notes get sparse as I join the crowd, caught up in the psychotic waltz of “Two Weeks Notice”. The album title is invoked, at last, with “Candy Apple Red”, so Celtic it just needs a redheaded lass on bodhran and a true brogue behind Ex-Sweater-Vest’s teeth to be worthy of howling along to, Guinness in hand. “and if you can’t ♥ me, go ♥ yourself...” as real and true a statement as they come, from five brothers screaming, humming and hollering, across the space of their garage. -Jimbo Ivy
THE ALCHEMIST
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OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 11, 2010
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Can you help name Flat Tail Brewery's beers? Anytime between now and October 11 drop your naming suggestion into the ballot box at Flat Tail and the FTB crew will pick the top five for The Alchemist Weekly Readers to vote on the following week. If you need some help brainstorming, free samples of the beers are available. Open up this paper for the scoop on Dave Marliave, the beer maker, and Paul Kincaid, the tap handle maker.