The Alchemist Weekly 10.12.10

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Bullet the blue sky.

five 8 Happiness is a warm gun 12 Bump events calendar

7 Norman turns

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 145:14• OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010


SYMPOSIUM symposium Social Suppression Leads to Jealousy

Have you ever been to a social event with a couple of friends who would rather make judgments of the people having a good time rather than try to join the party? Or seen a couple slow dancing and looked at your partner longing for that to be you, if only he wasn’t so self conscious? Why do they get to have all the fun? In our heterocentric society, we are caught off guard by the mismatched couple. Two men walking together, lovingly hand-in-hand. A lesbian couple snuggled next to each other on a couch at a coffee shop. Displays of affection for a homosexual couple is something that will often get a second glance followed by a twinge of gut emotion from the less cultured heterosexual. What is it about this scene that causes any upset? It isn’t that there is anything inherently wrong with homosexuality. Attraction is attraction. End of discussion. Maybe it’s the sense of freedom that comes from going against the grain. For any homosexual to come out, or for a gay couple to publicly express their love is an act of civil disobedience. Like a slow dancing couple in a fancy restaurant, homosexuals are standing out where we are taught to keep the status quo. As teenagers, we rebel against our parents. They are the direct authority telling us what is right and wrong. We are young and think we know better, so we push and prod against it with piercings, tattoos, underage drinking, and drug use. Eventually, the responsibilities of life close in on us and our inclination to “fight the power” wanes. It wanes, but it doesn’t disappear. When seeing someone expressing true freedom, like at a flamboyant gay pride parade, what is upsetting is not the homosexuality; it’s the carefree attitude that is associated with it. It’s the look of comfort on the participant’s faces that are more accepting of their being than most heterosexuals. We heterosexuals want to run through the streets singing, laughing, and smiling to celebrate the lives that we lead. The problem is that the status quo doesn’t get celebrated and that’s annoying to everyone that lives it. When seeing something outside the box, we’re reminded of just how completely trapped inside we are. A lot of straight guys have trouble admitting just how much they love their girlfriend or wife. Many straight couples have intimacy problems directly related to how unwilling they are to be honest about their sexual needs. This isn’t to say gay couples don’t have the same problems, but the initial acceptance of their sexual orientation could be considered a tremendous personal achievement, especially in our country. This loving act towards oneself should make it easier to accept from another and give love in return. That moment of giving in to what you’ve always known about yourself must be a freeing experience that is felt by very few in the world. Even after self-acceptance, the hardest step must be the second: admitting to your closest friends and family something that you’ve been keeping from them for most of your life. Hopefully it’s a common occurrence that those who are supposed to be caring and loving are able to let themselves continue their loving behavior even after this new information comes to light. What is this Symposium all about? Homosexuality isn’t what bothers hetero-America. It’s the unwillingness to turn inward and accept what we don’t like. We look for “the other” to redirect our criticism, rather than take on the feat of selfexamination. In honor of yesterday’s National Coming Out Day, I declare that I will no longer take my personal frustrations out on my fellow brothers and sisters. -Noah Stroup think@thealchemistweekly.com

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 145:14 OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

VOIC E

Opi n i on s a n d Editor ia ls , b e t h e y ours or yours , t h i s i s wh e re th e y be.

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Dirtstir

V ERDIC T

5

We ’ l l b e t h e judge. You be th e jur y...you tr us t us r ig h t?

The Social Network

LITERATI

Am a t e u r p ro se, poetr y and fi c t i on st i l l h a s a h om e.

Localities

6

W ORD

8

J o u r n a l i st s c a l l th e m f e a ture s; we say it's th e word.

The Gun

11 12

2

Cro s s wo rd

B U MP

I t ' s t h e c alendar of al l t h i n g s A l b a ny, Cor v a l lis , L e b a n on , a nd P h ilom a th .

Editorial

voice

CONTENT S Editorial Tag Team Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors Robin Canfield, Dirtstir, Tim Hellman, Steve Hudson, Nygil McCune

Art

Art Director Courtney Clenney Cover Photo by Stanley Tollett Back Cover Photo by Stanley Tollett Marksmanship for the cover provided by Paul Kincaid, Stanley Tollett, Jeff Carey, Steve Hunter

Advertising

Account Executive Noah Stroup Sales Representatives Luke Thomas, Lisa Weller

Business

Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339 Alchemist Mission

As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves. The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

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D I Rstir T

C O RVAvanities LLIS

Authority Without Accountability

I am required by state law to renew trainings in a handful of areas. I am not opposed to refreshing and expanding my knowledge. But when I’m doing the same work requiring the same trainings for numerous contractual employers and none will accept certificates of training completion but require me to take the exact same training multiple times to appease multiple human resource offices, I get irritated. Even if it is the exact same training through the exact same training provider...? Rhetorical. I’ll cover it later. And it gets better. The online training software/courses provide a standard disclaimer I must accept, or I will not be allowed to take the trainings I must undergo to fulfill my obligations as an employee: “This product is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.” From the Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations. Every effort has been made to assure that the information presented is accurate and consistent with generally accepted practices. However, the authors, editors, publishers, and/or any sponsoring partners, associations, and joint powers authorities cannot accept responsibility for errors or omissions, or for the consequences of application of information. No warranty, express or implied, is made regarding the contents of this program.” Lost, yet? The state requires the industry I’m in to provide employees these trainings, and my multiple employers all require me to take the same trainings. They will not accept certificates of completion, as (I believe) that would necessitate them doing another task that can be avoided by me taking the training and having the online site maintain a record of my activity. The disclaimer is for access to an online site, purchased by a business to provide access to training, not actually anything tangible. Come to think of it, my wonderful blue ribbon awards for completion could digitally disappear. My interpretation is the human resources folks buy access to the site and every employee who takes the trainings (instead of presenting proof of completed training elsewhere) justifies the purchase. And furthermore, it claims the publisher is not providing a “professional service” when money is being made by the publisher through the practice of their profession. The disclaimer also suggests the owners know they are presenting incomplete information and if I get in trouble applying knowledge gained through the trainings, a list of persons not liable is provided. So, the trainings absolve the state and the employer of liability and the disclaimer absolves from liability the company and persons providing the training. Guess who that leaves to scapegoat?

It Ain't Earwax

I was watching the OSU game last week and a commentator commends a receiver by saying Ken Griffey Jr. has nothing on the receiver. During the Duck game, a voice tells me that if the running back had penetrated the secondary he would have had a home run. And a golfer on the final hole would get the knockout if he held on for par. Dumbs#*ts. Give me lead blockers in baseball, bats in football, and tee up your ball wearing 14 oz. gloves.

On a Carousel

Aldous Huxley (read “Brave New World”) mentioned something like history is proof that people don’t learn from history. Well, boys and girls, a little wheel called Afghanistan is finishing a cycle. It goes something like this: Invader tries to impose own behaviors, culture, etc. on an indigenous (native) population while providing funding to an indigene (Hamid Karzai, in this round) most likely to support invader’s interests. Indigenes, seeing benefit from occupation sidle close to invader. Others lay low, and others resist when possible. The invader goes through numerous strategies to control the indigenes ranging from destruction to relocation to bribery to limited self determination and all combinations of everything listed and in between. The invader tires of a costly occupation, the “sympathetic” indigene wanting the handout and the antagonistic indigene looking for the shoot out. The sympathetic natives tire of overseers and antagonism from lesser and unsympathetic natives. They assure the overseers they can control the country and make attempts to ameliorate conflicts with the less sympathetic natives. And the overseers are looking for a way out. They proclaim, “All is well!”, and devise an exit strategy. The invader ramps up aid to the sympathetic natives, talks with antagonists, and concentrate their force for extraction of manpower. As the invaders retreat the thankless indigenes snipe and harass, and if confident enough, attack in strength. Once the invader is out, the native government in place quickly erodes and collapses, the natives try to reestablish their cultural balances, and the ousted invader tries to assess why things went horribly wrong. And a new invader is on the horizon sure that they can do it right. -JTc dirtstirreply@gmail.com

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The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.

The Alchemist Weekly welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to submissions@thealchemistweekly.com or snail mail to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

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SEPTEMBER 14-SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

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LETTERS

Damn the Nation

A couple weeks ago Alchemist writers spelled out, for new students to OSU, some of the best of the best Corvallis has to offer as an attempt to roll out the red carpet of welcome. Embracing students back is something that the locals do every new school year, but by June we are usually pretty glad to be rolling that worn-out shag back up for 3 months of bucolic peace and quiet. Here’s why this Corvallian is already fed-up with student antics (Disclaimer: I realize that not all 24,000 OSU students are snotty-nosed brats still running around in diapers.) You don’t know how to party. The fact that you don’t know how to party is a little disappointing to me and if you give me your mommy’s phone number perhaps she and I can have a little conversation about how inappropriate you were raised in this manner. I have a few observations about your lack of party ethics. Certainly the four hours you kept me up last night gave me the time needed to ponder this letter. Damn the Nation! The reason for my ill despise toward the aimless and brainless OSU student partiers are that my household, all of my neighbors and the rest of the year-around residents are pretty tired of broken beer bottles on our sidewalks and streets. We are disappointed that the beautiful trees we plant in our parking strips have less than a 9 week life expectancy thanks to you drunks (I mean really, a tree? Pick on some toothpick your own size!) We are disgusted at listening to you vomit on the side of my truck. Hearing chicky-poo yell into her phone ‘I’m trying to find you...I don’t know where I am,’ while herds of belligerent, aimlessly wandering drunks discovering pie-holes really can emit 2-year-old noises and nothing educated at all is not what I want to hear at 3:00 f*** you a.m. in the morning, really is a huge bummer. I really think that the mommy-separation thing is just too hard for some students, and maybe you really should have stayed at home to become a ‘super senior’. We’ve been told it’s a college town...get used to it and nope, we won’t. You grow up. You learn to party with a little class and sophistication. You’re the one here spending your mommy’s money for an “education�. You can do it, really! Your mommy is so proud of you so don’t let her down by showing up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Your mommy won’t be happy if the CPD calls her at 4 in the morning because you’ve been arrested for public intoxication and peeing on a car tire like a dog. Your mommy will be disappointed that you couldn’t handle OSU student life and had to move back home. Don’t make Corvallis turn our backs on you because we are not your mommy. -Joel

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Clicking the "Like" button for The Social Network

Sony Pictures

by: Tim Hellman

verdict

The best reviewed film (so far) this year and early Oscar frontrunner The Social Network is upon us! David Fincher (one of my all time favorite directors) directs this adaptation of the popular book ‘The Accidental Billionaires: A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal’ by Ben Mezrich from a script written by Aaron Sorkin (who also wrote A Few Good Men, The American President, and created the TV series The West Wing to name a few of his credits). The book, if you haven’t read it, is an account of how the internet social networking site, Facebook, was founded. It mostly centers on the lawsuits that followed it’s immediate success and the relationships of the people involved. Jesse Eisenberg stars as Mark Zuckerberg (the majority stockholder) and Andrew Garfield co-stars as cofounder Eduardo Saverin. The real Zuckerberg fought hard against this film’s release (in this form) fearing it will tarnish his image and he denies it bears much factual bearing at all, to real life events, but the real Saverin was the main consultant on the book. Fact or mostly fiction, the film is still a masterpiece and a must see! The story is mostly set in 2003 beginning at Harvard University in the fall and then flashing back and forth between court procedures involving the litigation battles over the ownership of Facebook. As the film opens Zuckerberg is dumped by his girlfriend Erica (played by Rooney Mara, who you may remember from the recent A Nightmare on Elm Street reboot and she was just cast as the lead in Fincher’s upcoming remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Mark is so upset that he goes back to his dorm room, gets wasted, blogs about her, and then creates a brief internet site called ‘facemash’ comparing Harvard girls to each other in ranking of ‘hotness’. This gives him notoriety and he is approached by the Winklevoss brothers (both played by Armie Hammer, in addition to a stand-in) about programming an internet social networking site that would be exclusive to Harvard students, in an attempt to help them get laid. Zuckerberg leads the brothers on, as well as their business partner Divya Narendra (played by Max Minghella, son of award winning director Anthony Minghella), and tells them he’s working on their project while coming up with one of his own, The Facebook, in an attempt to beat them out the gate. He enlists the help of his best friend Eduardo to finance and promote his venture, with the return promise of thirty percent of the ownership, and later, help from Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake), one of the founders of Napster, as well. Zuckerberg becomes inpatient with his long time friend Eduardo and tricks him out of the majority of his stock sharing which (along with the Winklevoss dispute) leads to the core legal battle of the film and the heart and humanity of the story. I’ve been a fan of Fincher ever since his first feature film Alien 3 (which I’ll admit doesn’t match it’s two predecessors but is still a very underrated sequel, much better than the 4th installment as well as the two Alien vs. Predator films). He’s been responsible for some of my all time favorite films (Fight Club, Seven and Zodiac) and he’s one of the most diverse big name directors working in film today. Here he demonstrates universally appealing thematic abilities (like he attempted with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, my least favorite of his films) and I predict he’ll finally take home a much deserved Oscar come award time early next year. I also think the film will win best picture and screenplay. Sorkin’s script is so witty and brilliant it would be a crime if it doesn’t win. The acting is very impressive as well and Eisenberg, who I’ve always been a fan of, should finally be able to shed the ‘poor man’s Michael Cera’

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image he’s been labeled with by many. I’m a big fan of Cera but Eisenberg has been around longer and done much more serious and diverse work; after this film’s release the two should have no problem standing apart. The supporting players are all more than adequate and the film’s score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross is mesmerizing. It’s still a little too early to over confidently predict but I’m guessing no film in the next three months (and definitely none already released) will be able to top The Social Network come award time. Facebook is probably the most popular and relevant invention in use by the majority of society in at least the last decade and for that reason many say they’re not interested in seeing this film; they don’t want to further support mankind’s biggest fad. This film isn’t really about Facebook though, it’s a dramatic character study. It’s about two best friends who are torn apart by money, fame, envy, the desire to get laid and the

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desire to be approved and envied by others. The film could be about the invention of anything and it wouldn’t change much as long as the characters remained the same. This is an intriguing, amazingly fast paced character study with plenty of litigation battle action to keep anyone from falling asleep. The movie is much more entertaining than it might sound and it has a lot of emotion and heart as well. While the Zuckerberg character is appalling and hate worthy at times, he also comes across as a well intentioned and good hearted person as well. He uses his show-off, smart-ass pretentious nature as a defense mechanism for his insecurities and a need to feel liked. He’s a flawed anti-hero but a likeable one and those are the most interesting in my opinion. The character, whether true to life or not, is the relatable heart and core of the film and makes for one of the best stories, if not the best, to come to cinematic life this year.

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

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Lessons of localities A parallax view of Corvallis from San Miguel Escobar.

Part II by: Robin Canfield

literati

The town of San Miguel Escobar is another former capital, and is tiny compared to Corvallis. The similarities between San Miguel Escobar and Corvallis are less than with Antigua, but serve to make the differences all the more striking. Four kilometers south of Antigua it is one of several cities that ring the base of the Agua, one of many local volcanoes. Agua doesn´t smoke, nor does it rumble, unless the crater overfills in the rainy season and sends a devastating mudslide down the mountainside to ravage the town. Whereas Antigua is busy, overflowing with tourists and best fits college students, San Miguel Escobar is calm and much more tranquil. Here you can walk ten minutes from a small horde of children playing futbol in the central plaza and find yourself amidst fields of coffee trees spotted with a variety of shade trees producing lime, orange, avocado and more. On your way through the streets you´ll be greeted by most every person you pass - easier in a town so tiny compared to Corvallis, but still a lesson in friendliness that the city could do with learning. Unlike in Antigua, if you happen to cross paths with other gringos in San Miguel they´re very likely voluntourists or long term non-profit workers. You won´t find any multimillion dollar NGO workers driving their hummers on these streets, though. It´s a town more for groups like As

Green As It Gets, a hands on, down and dirty bunch - the kind any good Corvallis citizen would volunteer with if they could open their front door and step into Guatemala. Of course most Corvallis citizens, and likely most Americans, would turn that possibility down because they would balk at having to sign documents for the United States government stating that they had not participated in terrorist activity for the past decade. That´s the trade-off U.S. volunteers have for helping Guatemalan coffee farmers compete with big business importers to the United States. Even after the extra holding time and fees required by customs on the farmers´s imports, processing and roasting their own coffee is still more profitable than subsidizing your daily cup of coffee by selling raw beans to big companies for eight cents a pound. Not only are the volunteers in San Miguel Escobar setting a good example for Corvallis volunteers, but the farmers they have been helping are now local leaders of both business and community. They mirror the same such people of Corvallis in their deeds and manner. This past May the volcano Agua sent the latest mudslide down to leave a path of destruction through the city. The relief effort was international, but the local support centered out of the house of

What I should be doing

one of those farmers. Having found themselves better situated as their coffee business grew, these farmers - with help from As Green As It Gets, have begun constructing a secondary school to benefit the entire community. All this makes life in San Miguel Escobar sound more complicated than it really is. Unlike in Corvallis, transacting business can often be as simple as having a conversation as you walk down the street, though you may be interrupted by a few people who say hello. As you walk the ground may shake when another nearby volcano, Fuego, spews a plume of smoke into the air, or as the thunder above echoes relentlessly across the valley, but this is all commonplace in San Miguel Escobar. So is the sight of packs of cyclists riding down the sloping roads at night; one more feature San Miguel Escobar shares with Corvallis. Of course there´s still a difference, there´s no lights on the bikes, but of course Corvallis isn´t exactly like San Miguel Escobar, nor Antigua for that matter. Antigua is a big city that is enjoyable to visit and San Miguel Escobar is a small town where it is nicer to live; though this Oregon city could afford to learn some things from both far away Guatemalan cities, when it comes to livability Corvallis is nestled comfortably midway between the two.

Your Weekend Starts Here Home of the 6-Pack Friday

by: Nygil McCune

I settle down in down blankets to sleep (they’re not my own but they do the job nonetheless). But as i comfort in, the vague, familiar hands of homeless heartache slur up beside me. And so i change pace; from a computer screen i’m watching estranged acts done to strange women so that i can forget the same woman. I resume my existence (half fulfilled; half cured of an emptiness) into a book to read the same words spoken by different and differing voices.

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One would think that by now --with all of the variety of screams shouting of the same old things-that we would have learned better, and would be able to manipulate ourselves better as well.

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

Yet, time and time again, we seem to be realizing that our little rock is hurtling somewhere and our pleas aren’t changing its course. Or perhaps they are and i just find myself too close to the picture to see anything except the brand of paint used. Still, even with my outlook renewed i will return to (your strange acts done to those estranged women all branded with the face of my same woman) the familiar habits and ways of this habitat unchanged, only to realize that this is the beginning of a grand addiction of the things that i should not be doing.

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Photo by: Mathais Allstock

word

...it's something that words can't describe, it's like laughing uncontrollably...

ˮ Norman turns five the venue in which I interview this man is the very same venue that hosted his band’s first show nearly five years ago. To Nordby’s right sits another member of the band, Adam Beam, the youngest member and drummer of Norman. The other three members of the five piece group weren’t available for the interview: Wil Vaughn, Brian Mosher, William “Billy” Johnson. Norman started with one man, Eric Nordby, his solo career was recognized by a small label and he was charged with assembling a team. Not a team like teve udson the justice league to fight crime, but a team of musicians to play some damn good music, and they excel at it. Five years ago Nordby was offered the opportunity to record for a label in Portland, and he chose to do it with a true band behind him. The band has evolved from then, with a short time to establish members it now stands complete as Norman. Five years in the running Norman is steadily expanding through the Northwest. Norman’s shows have stretched all over Corvallis, Salem, Portland, and surrounding areas. The five members are from the Willamette valley and from what I met of Nordby and Beam, Oregon emanates from them, Corvallis townies, both of them born and raised. With every opportunity to leave the Pacific Northwest available they choose to stay, and they plan on making it here, together. When asked the ever cliché question of describing their music in one word Nordby responded with “Oregon” and then immediately rescinded his statement, a quick follow up revealed that Oregon was who they were, not what their music was. Nordby remained undecided, not for lack of ideas but due to an overflow of feelings and emotions that accompany the music that he sings and plays. Beam’s response was more calculated, “Gumbo. A big pot of gumbo with a bunch

LIVE MUSIC

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of stuff in it, simmering.” After hearing their music I had to agree with Beam, it is a gumbo and a delicious one at that. To be honest I am not normally the gumbo type, but for one this good I had to make an exception. This is the kind of music you play in your car with the windows down and the sun on your face while you drive to absolutely nowhere in particular. The kind of music you relax to, and while it plays you find yourself smiling and tapping your foot on the ground. Norman rarely does covers and if they do its covers of local bands out of respect and tribute, these boys are all original. Nordby, being the lead vocalist, writes the majority of the lyrics but the band leaves creative discretion to all its members individually. They are charged with writing their own parts

LIVE MUSIC

I

find myself sitting at the 2nd street Beanery across from Eric Nordby, the founder of Norman, a renowned local band. It seems fitting that

Thursday October 7th Rusty Hinges 7:30 pm

Norman

Bombs Away Café • Saturday 10 pm

and input is received amongst all the members. “We are in the mode of writing new songs all the time,” says Nordby. So, we as listeners have plenty of good music to look forward to in the future. If you like Norman, or have an interest in hearing their music, they play Cloud Nine and Bombs Away Café in Corvallis. They have a five year anniversary show at Bombs Away, October 16th, which will be a heck of a show. If public outings aren’t your thing and the Doritos are already by your monitor and comfortable computer chair check out myspace.com/normansongs Nordby couldn’t choose a single word to define his music but ultimately ended with how it felt to play the music they do and I feel he put the feeling of Norman better than any listener could. “When you get the chance to arrange something and it turns out not like you’d expected, but better than you’d expected it’s something that words cant describe, it’s like laughing uncontrollably, it’s like total shock and awe,” Nordby says. That is precisely Norman.

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OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

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T

he gun. There are few things in the world that have the ability to evoke instant fear like a firearm. For some, it doesn’t even have to be

pointed at you. The mere sight of a gun brings about a visceral response. The combination of guns and fear have led to some of the most heated debate in our country’s history. There are those that believe all guns should be banned, and that only the military and police should possess them. Others feel that an armed citizenry is a constitutional right that protects not only themselves and their families but our country as a whole. The gun itself is a relatively simple mechanical device. Altanley ollett though it has evolved greatly since its invention in China around 700 A.D., its basic function has remained the same; to propel a projectile in a specific direction at high speed. To do this, a gun requires manipulation by a human being. It must be built, it must be loaded, it must have the proper explosive chemical combination and that compound must be triggered.

S

T

An excerpt from The United States Marine Corps Rifleman’s Creed is as follows:

Without me, my rifle is useless.

ˮ

This speaks to a fundamental fact about firearms. The gun itself is merely a tool. To perform its function, to become deadly, a gun must be manipulated by a user of tools. The most proficient animal in the history of the world at utilizing complex tools to perform tasks are Homo sapiens, Latin for “wise man.” The human.

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. unattributed

ˮ

Think about this overused quote. Don’t dismiss it despite its oversimplification of a tragedy. It is not the gun itself that walks into an office building, a classroom or a convenience store and kills people, it is a person. What motivates that person might be anger or rage or desperation. But, at some point, in all of them, their must have been fear. Fear of being bullied again. Fear of losing their wife or job. Fear of being humiliated or unheard on something they desperately needed an audience for. The fear of not being

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Happiness is a warm gun Understanding fear and loading in the Valley. able to eat or to feed their family or to feed some necessity that they felt was important enough to kill for. And killing another human being is one of the most despicable and disgusting acts that we, as a species, are capable of. Killing another person is something that our species is inherently, psychologically adversed to. In his book, On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society, Lt. Col. (retired) Dave Grossman argues that there is a natural instinct not to kill each other present in the hu-

licensed in 1994. He knows, better than most people, how firearms fit into the lives of their owners. “Your firearm, first of all, is like a fire-extinguisher, you’re not going to use it unless you absolutely need it,” said Turner. “For me, my firearm is my last possible viable option for self defense, I’m going to try to run, drive, lie do whatever I can to avoid that. Because once I draw my firearm, my life is

man mind. He cites the fact that intra-species killing is almost non-existent in the animal kingdom. Deer could easily kill each other if they rammed their horns into another deer’s side, however they don’t do that. They butt against the other deer’s horns and head, the most protected part of their anatomy. This makes sense evolutionarily, because if animals went around killing other members of their own species, they would go extinct.

different and so is theirs.” Turner spent six years in the Army. He was a sniper for two of those years and has been teaching martial arts since he was 14. He’s been around guns since childhood. Even though he has probably fired thousands of rounds of ammunition and held and operated countless types of firearms, he still has a kind of fear of the gun. “Fear actually, I think it can be a good thing, as long as it’s a healthy fear, a respect I should say,” said Turner. “You should never be complacent around a firearm, you know where you have absolutely no fear, for me I do have a fear of my firearm even though I carry one every day, I still have that fear but that’s why I’m safe with it...if that makes sense.” In talks with Turner, you get the sense that this is a very thoughtful man. Someone who takes things seriously when they need to be and humorously when that’s called for. Even though he spent years in the military there is no drill sergeant mentality. Turner is a teacher, and if you didn’t know the serious subject matter you might mistake him for a philosophy professor. One of those “no question is dumb question” type of fellows. Throughout the years, Turner has had some wild questions posed to him, and he tries his hardest to answer them all. Some of the questions, wild and not so wild that Turner seems to come across in most of his classes are: ‘If you have to shoot, do you shoot to wound?’

ˮ

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. But I think the gun helps, you know. Eddie Izzard

Izzard had a point. While it is the people that actually kill other people with guns, the gun itself is a very powerful tool that was designed with a specific military purpose in mind. The projectiles that small arms propel out their barrels are, for the most part, designed to sever arteries and devastate internal organs. Hunting weapons do this to animals for the purpose of harvesting meat or trophy. Military style weapons and self-defense weapons do this in order to incapacitate or kill and eliminate a specific threat. Someone that knows about firearms in terms of self-defense is Scott Turner, a certified firearms instructor. Based in Albany, he has trained over 6,000 people since he became

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

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‘If you have to shoot, do you shoot to kill?’ The answer to both is “you shoot to survive.” “People are always asking, well if somebody’s trying to steal my car can I shoot them,” Turner said. “One thing that I have to make sure they understand is the firearm is to protect the human being not property.” Besides these offensive minded questioning Turner also encounters a good amount of people that have been victimized by the criminal element. People that

want to prevent being harmed or robbed in the future. He says one of his biggest fears is that people coming in after a traumatic experience will see owning a handgun as a “band-aid”. “That’s like buying a car, but not knowing how to drive it.” said Turner. “If they do choose a firearm for their defensive strategy then they need to have the proper training.” It’s the criminal element in our society that really galvanizes Turners thoughts when it comes to the importance of our 2nd amendment right to bear arms. But he doesn’t seem to be the type of guy that has an excessive collection of weapons for show, or novelty. “When they [the anti-gun lobby] talk about common sense gun laws, unfortunately laws only apply to the law abiding, people that are going to follow them anyways.” said Turner. “Criminals don’t think the way we do, we have a tendency as a human being, we superimpose our sense of morals and standards onto another person.”

He said if he thought that by turning in every single one of his firearms would make the world a better place for his children he would be the first person in line. But in his position as a firearms instructor he is privy to overwhelming evidence of just how violent our society can be. Especially in financially difficult times, when the difference between life and death can be measured in a few dollars. “I saw a video....it showed a guy get stabbed in the neck and the side of the head 13 times with a screw driver so that the other person could steal his iPhone, a normal person doesn’t think that way.” said Turner.

Even though he knows that guns themselves can be used in the commission of violent crimes, he points out that only those that are law abiding citizens already are likely to respect any anti-gun legislation. And in our culture, it seems as though there is a place for firearms if they are respected and the owners have received proper training. “There’s a saying that an armed society is a polite society. I used to think it’s because the criminals are afraid to say something wrong, but as I get older....I know that when I’m carrying my firearm, I know that I’m more aware of my surroundings, I avoid more situations, I avoid more scenarios. I don’t want to say that when I don’t carry my firearm I’m mouthy and I’m looking for a fight, that’s not what I mean, It’s just that I’m more aware of how I word things. How I avoid situations than when I’m not. And I think that having the firearm does help.”

The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference - they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good. George Washington

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ˮ •

The indoor shooting range in Lebanon, Oregon is a simple storefront, but when you step inside you realize the only simple thing for sale here are the earplugs. You are greeted most days by Matt Kerby, a big guy with friendly eyes and baseball cap. His helpful and congenial manner is contrasted by the wall full of menacing military-style rifles behind him. Talking with Kerby, he seems more like an old buddy than the manager of a gun store. He doesn’t try and sell you sensational weapons that you might not need. He deals in common sense and candor. He says semi-automatic handguns sell better nowadays than revolvers because you don’t have to stop and reload them every 5 or 6 shots. It’s a practical thing. Also, the old timers are fonder of the wheel guns than the younger crowd. But, “it all comes down to personal preference,” he says. As far as the 2nd Amendment’s right to bear arms, Kerby feels it serves a greater purpose than most people realize. “I have a strong feeling that’s the reason why whenever we’ve went to war with anybody they’ve never invaded us...I feel that foreign [powers] know that we have that right to bear arms, and if they come into our country they’re gonna face the citizens with arms, not just the military. I think the second amendment has been a great thing...protecting our country as a whole...foreign and domestic.” said Kerby. He’s still on his first cup of coffee for the day and just opened the shop, but he doesn’t mind talking about something that he feels is very important. In a matter of fact manner, he says he feels most people are scared of guns because of lack of knowledge. He points out that when parents keep their guns hidden from their kids like dirty secrets, that is a recipe for disaster.

“The kids would know it’s there so they’re going to be more likely to sneak to see, handle it, whatever, where as if you were to take your kids out and actually shoot with them, they know if they ask, dad I wanna go shoot this weekend and you say ‘yes, lets go’ they know that they’re more apt not to have an accident, than a kid that it’s been hidden from.” Kerby said. He thinks educating young people about firearms is incredibly important for safety and for a healthy respect and understanding of firearms. That’s why in their range when someone comes in with their child (13 or younger) there is no charge. As far as the gun fearing crowd, Kerby says that he doesn’t see many people that are fearful of the guns he sells simply because they don’t come in. Those that do come into the shop and have little or no firearm experience almost always ask immediately for information on training. Something he thinks is a great thing. “When people come into the shop, I’m the type of salesman that don’t tell you what you have to have, I ask you what you want. I’m a very non-pressure type of person.” said Kerby, when asked what type of handgun is best for personal concealed carry. He does say that as far as caliber size goes you don’t want to go with anything too small. He says a good rule of thumb is what the police department cuts off their officers at as far as the strength of their backup weapons. (.380) Something with some stopping power. “If you ever get into a situation where you have to use it...you want to be able to take the threat out, not necessarily kill the person, just wanna be able to take the threat out, sometimes with the smaller calibers, they can still get to you before you can take the threat out.” said Kerby. Matt Kerby is easy to relate to. He’s a regular guy, with regular feelings and he’s just like us. He’s not a gun nut. He doesn’t scream right wing extremist. He doesn’t come off as aggressively pro-gun. He seems like the ideal big brother. The guy that you Independently Owned since 2006

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could ask help you fix your fence, or watch your kid while you ran to the store for mustard. While you’re on vacation, with Kerby next door you might sleep a little easier knowing the he is a member of the neighborhood watch. His vision of firearms echoes many of the same feelings that Turner espouses. A healthy respect of firearms is essential. He doesn’t call it fear, but there is an understanding that a realistic knowledge of the consequences of improper gun use, is very much like fear. Compare it to a fear of tigers, you don’t lie awake at night terrified of a 600 lb. cat mauling you in your bedroom, but if you were feeding one...you would “respect” it. “I think that with me, if I see somebody doing harm to my neighbors I would go protect them.”

or varmint with. Now I was having visions of Virginia Tech and Columbine. It really shook me. I realized in that moment why some people are so scared of guns. It isn’t because they are ill informed, anxiety prone tender foots. It isn’t because they were shot at in war, or in their neighborhoods. Perhaps it was because they realized what I had gone almost my entire life not realizing. That what I was holding was extremely deadly. In that moment I was holding an instrument that could, within seconds cause the immediate death of every person in that room, including myself. An idea flashed into my brain. People aren’t afraid of guns. Guns don’t have malicious intentions. They didn’t have a shitty childhood or a cheating wife. People are afraid of people. They are afraid of guns, and rightly so, because of the people that hold them. And if you turn them just a few degrees to the right or left of that paper plate/the burglar standing next to your wife/that empty space next to your joking friend...you could not only change your life and another human being’s forever. You could end them.

ˮ

You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass. Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto

Real guns and surreal fears

I felt that this story would not be complete without shooting a gun for myself. And I had already been observing with curiosity the nicely appointed indoor range. So I decided to give it a go. Growing up around firearms during my youth in rural Texas, I learned at a young age to have a respect for guns. To treat every weapon as a loaded one and to never point it at anything that you weren’t going to shoot and potentially kill. Even though I have fired quite a few types of guns; from the exotic, AK-47’s and Glocks to the more traditional and sporting types like shotguns for bird hunting and walnut deer rifles for, well...deer hunting...I was still somewhat awkward as I prepared to do a little handson research for this story. There are 6 types of handguns in the front case that are for rental use in the gun range. They range in size and shape. .22’s, .45’s, .40 S&W, and 9mm are the more popular choices. I selected a 9mm semi-automatic Ruger, and purchased two boxes of shells. Once I signed some minor paperwork and paid for my range fees, I was led into an adjoining room that contained 4 stalls and mechanically operated chain systems that carried your target of choice downrange at various distances. Once I had hung my target, secured my ear and eye protection, I began to load ten 9mm. bullets into the clip. I sent the human silhouette target downrange and inserted the clip in the handgrip. I pulled back the slide of the weapon to chamber the first round. I should say now that I have what some may consider intermediate knowledge of firearms and safety procedures. So the deadly series of movements required to load and prepare a handgun for firing came intuitively for me. Once you learn to respect the lethal consequences of any gun, you always treat them as if they are loaded. Never pointing it at anything that you are not willing to send lead into. After I made sure that everyone in the

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ˮ

Guns are neat little things, aren’t they? They can kill extraordinary people with very little effort. John Hinckley Jr.

room had on their protective equipment and checked their relative locations to mine, I raised my weapon into firing position and slid the safety cache down. The power of firearm cannot be fully understood until you slide the clip home, chamber a round and raise the weapon towards its target. Apply a steady squeeze to the trigger and all of a sudden an explosion of power and flame propels a hot metal projectile downrange. The blast sends shockwaves through your body. You can literally feel it in your chest. Your hands, arms and shoulders absorb the impact of the recoil and tingle a bit. As I stood there, in my stall loading my magazine with 9mm rounds, I was thinking about the debate on handguns and the fear that exists on both sides of the right to bear arms debate. It suddenly occurred to me that I was holding one the deadliest inventions available to an average citizen, something that has been used in school shootings and robberies, even presidential assassination attempts, a semi-automatic handgun. I felt something that I hadn’t anticipated at all...fear. There were a couple of gentlemen in the range two stalls down firing at paper plate targets. They had at least 3 handguns apiece and looked to be a father and son. They were some of the most conscientious shooters I have ever been around. They handled their firearms like Olympic shooters. Extremely safe and without a hint of bravado or machismo. They could have been fly fishing, or working on a classic car.

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

This was their demeanor. But they were holding handguns bigger than mine and with each shot, I could feel the concussion shockwave in my body. I thought, “My god! There is nothing between them and I than a few feet of open air. One of them could snap and just start firing at me.” I had no protection. I envisioned a shoot out. Guns blazing in some bizarre O.K. Corral style exchange filled with smoke, even though modern firearms use smokeless powder. And blood and guts and my poor mother stuck in the middle of it all. I couldn’t believe it. I had never imagined a handgun as anything more than a tool, or to risk sounding irresponsible a big boy’s toy. Something to shoot tin cans

Having played enough “Modern Warfare 2”, fantasies like this are easy to conjure. The difference between a high score and a tragic news story is that, in reality, no rational person would ever act out such dramatic and disturbing visions. Our culture has sometimes romanticized guns to sell move tickets, but holding one in person, feeling the weight of its potential, its lethality is heavy—and real. The gun is a part of American culture as much as apple pie and homecoming. But, the idea of guns and the gun itself are vastly different. The machines themselves are part of who we are as a nation. Learning to live with and stay alive around them takes understanding.

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CRO S SWORD

Stuck on the Ending 48. Larry who broke the American League color barrier 50. Deep-voiced Simone 52. Communication device on “The Dukes of Hazzard” 55. “I just realized something important” 59. Suitable for cacti, environmentally 60. “Yes, sir, captain, sir!” 62. Buzzy instrument 63. Middling review of a great painter? 67. Regatta implement 68. Tour crew member, often 69. Elvis’s middle name, on his birth certificate 70. Certain ICU figures 71. Historical records 72. Some sheepskin boots 73. One may be private or lazy

Down

1. Simple multiple choice options 2. Source of some scriptures 3. “Dunno yet” 4. Sphinx city 5. Co-star of Rue and Betty 6. Massachusetts cape 7. Ancient exercise that’s popular now 8. Letters given in the bonus round of “Wheel of Fortune” 9. It may be given while cruising:

Abbr. 10. “Bad Romance” singer’s recipe for a root vegetable? 11. “... to fetch ___ of water” 12. Cry of denial 13. Dope 19. Wasting time by writing in longhand? 21. Super-weird art coming out of suburban Maryland? 25. ___ out (having lots of diamonds) 26. Toy from the biggest city in the world? 28. What the “Mad” in “Mad Men” is 31. Portal with a butterfly logo 32. Pursue romantically 33. Rick Allen of Def Leppard has only one 35. Spanish hero El ___ 37. Trident, e.g. 38. Miner’s matter 39. Art photographer Goldin 42. Dark, as prospects 45. Being in the clouds 49. Political slants 51. Some Japanese cameras 52. “It’s a Wonderful Life” director 53. Experimental artist Gysin 54. Puerto ___ (like Rosario Dawson and Ricky Martin) 56. Atmospheric layer 57. Lathered up 58. Certain steed 61. Literary birthright seller 64. Part of RSVP 65. Certain domain name ending 66. Soak, in British dialect

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Last week's puzzle solutions

1. Place to check your balance 4. Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman’s former company 8. Was persistent, as a door-todoor salesman 14. Burlesque prop 15. He came back to “The Tonight Show” in March 16. A drunk may lie in one 17. Kid ___ (noted jazz trombonist) 18. Effete goodbye from a true thug? 20. One may stand next to the cantor 22. 2010 MLB playoff team 23. Uses crosshairs 24. Kellogg’s cracker brand 27. Makes possible, as someone else’s addiction 29. One might be filled with carnitas 30. Siege of Leningrad river 31. “Love ya!” 34. Big name in kitchen gadgets 36. Goad 40. Still mad 41. Really anxious (to know) 43. Subject for Walter Benjamin 44. Menu claim 46. What may emerge when the can is open? 47. FBI agents

www.sudoku-puzzles.net

Across

Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

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artsalbany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath & culture

12 tuesday

Albany

Corvallis Skate Park Juggling lessons [TOSS] 6:30, FREE

bump

IOOF Hall 738 SW 5th Ave Western Square Dance Class [DANCE] 7:00 pm

Corvallis

Corvallis Elks Lodge 1400 NW 9th St. Beginner Line Dance [DANCE] 7:00 pm Enoteca Wine Bar Girls Night Out! Knit Night [MAKE] 4:00 pm LaSells Stewart Center Puttin’ on the Pink Education Day, [LEARN] 7:30 pm, FREE OSU Women’s Building Rm 112 Salsa Dancing [DANCE] 8:00pm Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis 2945 NW Circle Blvd Corvallis Community Choir rehearsal [SING] 7:00pm, $50/ term

Synergea Chiropractic 111 N 20th St. Wellness Workshop: Welcome to a Life Without Headaches or Drugs, [LEARN] 6:30 pm

13 wednesday Albany

Albany Eagles Lodge 127 Broadalbin St Albany Senior Dance, [DANCE] 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm, $3

Corvallis

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

Albany Civic Theater 111 1st Ave SW “Wait Until After Dark” [SEE] 8:00 pm, $11/$8

Enoteca Wine Bar Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 6:30 pm, $10 OSUs Fairbanks Gallery Reception: Jeesoo Lee “Degree of Beauty” [ART] 12:00 pm, FREE

Corvallis

Arts Center Book Signing: Peg Elliott Mayo and Donald Carl Pauls, “Ancestor Grove” [MEET] 7:00 pm FREE

OSU Women’s Center Open House [ATTEND] 4:00 pm, FREE

Corvallis Senior Center 2601 NW Taylor Ave Friday Night Dancers, [DANCE] 7:00 pm, $4

14 thursday

First Alternative Co-Op South, 1007 SE 3rd St. Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 5:00 pm LaBamba Mix Night Club PRIDE La Bamba, [DANCE] 8:00 pm, $3 Wanted Saloon Latin X Night, [DANCE] 9:30 pm, $10 WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Friday Night Wine Flight, [DRINK] 5:00 pm

Riverside Grange 35293 Riverside Drive Homespun Candle and Gift Show [BUY] 10:00 am – 8:00 pm

Corvallis

Enoteca Wine Bar Chocolate Truffle Happy Hour, [EATS] FREE Truffles, 6:00 pm First Alternative Co-Op South 1007 SE 3rd St. Beer Tasting [DRINK] 1st and 3rd Thursdays 5:00 pm First Alternative Co-Op North 29th and Grant Wine Tasting, [DRINK] 2nd and 4th Thursdays 5:00 pm WineStyles German Beer Tasting [DRINK] 5:30 pm, $5

Lebanon

Riverside Grange 35293 Riverside Drive Homespun Candle and Gift Show [BUY] 10:00 am – 8:00 pm

Old World Deli 341 SW 2nd St Belly Dance, [DANCE] 8:00 pm, FREE

Albany Eagles Lodge 127 NW Broadalbin St Line dance lessons [DANCE] 7:00 pm, $4

Philomath

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Albany

Albany

WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd Team Trivia League [THINK] 6:00 pm

Cloud 9 Beer and Blog [DRINK] 5:00 pm, FREE Infinite Improvabilities [LAUGH] 9:00 pm, FREE

15 friday

Corvallis Public Library Random Review: Shirley Byrne on Frank Conroy’s “Body and Soul” [HEAR] 12:00 pm, FREE Slide Show: William L. Sullivan “New Hiking Trails in Southern Oregon” [SEE] 7:00 pm FREE

Lebanon Downtown Main St. Farmers Market [BUY] 3:00 pm

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16 saturday Albany

Albany Civic Theater 111 1st Ave SW “Wait Until After Dark” [SEE] 8:00 pm, $11/$8 City Hall Parking Lot Albany Farmer’s Market [BUY] 9:00 am Linn County Expo Center Boo Boogie Bash Rough Stock Rodeo [WATCH] $15, 7:30 pm

Riverside Grange 35293 Riverside Drive Homespun Candle and Gift Show [BUY] 10:00 am – 8:00 pm Two Rivers Market 300 2nd Ave SW Albany Arts Commission: Pottery Sale [BUY] FREE

Corvallis

Benton County Fairgrounds Kids Day for Conservation [KIDS] 10:0am - 4:00pm, FREE Corvallis Dance Center 1935 NW Circle Blvd Swing Dance Lessons [DANCE] 4:00 pm, 5:00 pm, and 6:00 pm First Street and Monroe Corvallis Artisans Market, 9:00 am–1:30 pm corvallisartisansmarket.com Corvallis Farmers’ Market, 9:00 am-1:00 pm locallygrown.org Muddy Creek Corn Maze 27001 Llewellyn Rd Get lost [FUN] 11:00 am to 5:00 WineStyles Blind Wine Tasting [DRINK] 4:00 pm

17 sunday Corvallis

Corvallis Boys and Girls Club 1112 NW Circle Blvd Swing Dance Class [DANCE] 7:00 pm Enoteca Wine Bar Book Group [READ] 3:00 pm

To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

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alchemist pick Learn Something New Day

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Albany

October 16 at 10:30, 1:30 & 2:30

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work

Lavender & Lace, Etc. • Potpourri 311 First Ave. W Downtown Albany Learn about making and blending your own Potpourri, and take home a sample sachet

meet

Two Rivers Fly Sop • Learn to tie a Fly 204 First Ave. SW Downtown Albany Learn the fundamentals of tying your own flies for fishing or fashion. Pizza King • Pasta Sauces 231 Lyons Street SW Downtown Albany Let Ruby Lewis show some simple tricks to making great pasta sauces • Samples to try.

learn

Albany Civic Theater, 111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603 Alleyoop Lounge, 901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977 Bogey’s Bar & Grill, 129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900 Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE 541.928.1931 Cappie’s Brewhouse, 211 1st Ave W 541.926.1710 Cascade Grill, 110 Opal St. NW 541.926.3388 Chasers Bar & Grill, 435 SE 2nd Ave 541928.9634 Dixie Creek Saloon, 32994 Hwy 99E, Tangent, OR 541.926.2767 Favorite Mistake Sports Bar, 5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034 Front Street Bar, 2300 Northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739 GameTime SportsBar & Grill, 2211 Waverly Dr. SE 541.981.2376 Humpty’s Dump Bar & Grill, 916 Old Salem Rd NE 541.926.3111 JP’s Restaurant and Lounge, 220 2nd Ave. 541.926.5546 Lariat Lounge, 901 Pacific Blvd SE 541.928.2606 Linger Longer Tavern, 145 SW Main St. 541.926.2174 Lucky Larrys Lounge, 1296 S Commercial Way SE 541.928.3654 Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill, 124 Broadalbin St SW 541.926.2838 Wilhelm’s Spirits & Eatery, 1520 Pacific Blvd SE 541.926.7001

Corvallis

Scrappin’ Time • Cards and Tags 434 First Ave. SW Downtown Albany Make your own gift tags and cards using simple yet creative techniques • Cards session 1 & 3 Tags session 2

join

Salem

La Belle Boutique • French Braiding 337 First Ave. W Downtown Albany Learn to french braid hair, and go home with a free gift!

Salem Film Festival October 15th – 22nd Any movie buff or hipster that only watches independent films is sure to already have this event marked on their calendars. But, even if you’re not a selfprofessed movie guru and you don’t know what a hipster is, there is certainly something at the festival that will appeal to you. We counted 46 movies showing over the course of the eight day festival ranging from the professional to the indie to the foreign. For more informationtion visit salemfilmfestival.com.

Grey’s Furniture Repair • Hand-finishing techniques 125 Second Ave. SW Downtown Albany Learn to strip, sand, stain and finish furniture. Surefire Design • Painting techniques 201 Second Ave. SW Downtown Albany Learn to paint your own pottery with creative techniques. The Quilt Loft • Paper Piecing 405 First Ave. W Downtown Albany Learn to “paper piece” a Candy Corn quilt block

129 NW 4th Ave

Corvallis, OR 97330

Aqua Seafood Restaurant & Bar, 151 NW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262 The Beanery on 2nd, 500 SW 2nd St 541.753.7442 Big River Restaurant & Bar, 101 NW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694 Block 15, 300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077 Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 541.757.7221 China Delight Restaurant, 325 NW 2nd St. 541.753.3753 Clodfelter’s, 1501 NW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452 Cloud 9, 126 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 Crowbar, 214 SW 2nd St. 541.753.7373 Darrell’s Restaurant and Lounge, 2200 NW 9th St. 541.752.6364 Downward Dog, 130 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 Enoteca Wine Bar, 136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095 Fireworks Restaurant and Bar, 1115 SE 3rd 541.754.6958 Flat Tail Pub, 202 SW 1st St. 541.758.2219 Greenberry Store & Tavern, 29974 HWY 99W 541.752.3796 Harrison Bar & Grill, 550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017 Impulse, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114 La Bamba Mix Night Club, 126 SW 4th St. 541.207.3593 Loca Luna, 136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 541.753.2222 Luc, 134 SW 4th St. 541.753.4171 Murphy’s Tavern, 2740 SW 3rd St. 541.738. 7600 Papa’s Pizza, 1030 S.W. Third St. 541.757.2727 Peacock Bar & Grill, 125 SW 2nd St. 541.754.8522 Squirrel’s, 100 SW 2nd St. 541.753.8057 Sunnyside Up Café, 116 NW 3rd St 541.758.3353 Suds & Suds, 1045 NW Kings Blvd. 541.758.5200 Troubadour, 521 SW 2nd St. 541.752.7720 Tyee Wine Cellars, 26335 Greenberry Rd. 541.753.8754 Wanted Saloon, 140 NW 3rd St. WineStyles, 2333 N.W. Kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

Lebanon

Spearit Beads & Co. • Make Earrings 131 Broadalbin SW Downtown Albany Learn to make your own beaded earrings. Learn Something Old Antique Appraisals at Albany Antique Mall 145 2ns Ave. SW Downtown Albany

Artisian’s Well Lounge, 2250 South Main Rd. 541.451.3900 Cornerstone Café & Pub, 180 S 5th St. 541.847.6262 Duffy’s Irish Pub, 679 South Main St. 541.259.2906 Fire Pit Lounge, 2230 South Santiam Hwy 541.451.2010 GameTime Sports Bar and Grill, 3130 South Santiam Hwy 541.570.1537 Merlin’s Bar and Grill 541.258.6205 Peacock Bar & Grill East, 76 E. Sherman St. 541.451.2027 Sports Shack and Deli, 1250 Grant St. 541.259.0800

Bring in your family heirloom or purchase something that day to have appraised. Note: The appraisals are from Noon - 2pm. First-come, First-served.

High 5 Sports Bar & Grill, 1644 Main St.-541.929.7529 Meet’n Place Tavern, 1150 Main St. 541.929.3130 Wine Vault, 1301 Main St. 541.929.8496 Wing Sing Restaurant & Lounge, 658 Main St. 541.929.6255

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Philomath

THE ALCHEMIST

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

13


music albany•corvallis•lebanon•philomath

14 12 tuesday thursday Corvallis

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Café Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE

13 wednesday Albany

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Pure Country Night - Country Dancing [DJ] 9:00pm

Albany

Calapooia Brewing Wild Hog in the Woods [AMERICANA] 9:00pm, FREE Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Poverty’s Posterboy, Endr Won, Devitto P, Suganuts [HIPHOP] 9:00 pm, $1

Corvallis

Bombs Away Café Belly Full of Bob: Tribute to Bob Marley [Reggae] 9:00 pm, $7 LaSells Stewart Center Corvallis Chamber Music: Ensemble 415 [CLASSICAL] 7:30 pm, $25 at door

Valentino’s Pizzeria Jeff Lesmeister [FOLK] 7:00 pm, FREE

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, FREE

Corvallis

Lebanon

Bombs Away Café Ryan David Orr [Folk Rock] 7:30 pm, FREE Corvallis Farmer’s Market 2nd St. and B Ave. The Kindreds [AMERICANA] 3:30 pm, FREE LaSells Stewart Center OSU Symphony: The China Connection [CLASSICAL] 7:30 pm, $15- $30 Peacock Bar and Grill Jonny Dark and the Wondertones, [BLUES] 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex [DJ] 9:00 pm, FREE Sunnyside Up Café Bluegrass Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE

Photo by: Ashly Covington

Peculiar Pretzelmen

Calapooia Brewing • Friday 8 pm Photo by: Todd Kulesza

Peacock Bar and Grill East Blues Jam 7:00 pm, FREE Every other Thursday

Tangent

Dixie Creek Saloon Rich, Payne and the Pennyless [COUNTRY] 7:00 pm, FREE

15 friday

Abolutionist

Bombs Away Café • Friday 10 pm, $3

Albany

Lebanon

Calapooia Brewing The Peculiar Pretzelmen [FOLK] 8:00pm,

Tangent

Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant Lisa Taylor [CLARINET] 5:30 pm, FREE

Peaocock Bar and Grill East The Brand, [BLUES], 7:00 pm Dixie Creek Saloon Battle of the Bands 7:00 pm

14

Corvallis

The Beanery on 2nd Madison and McCoy [ACOUSTIC] 8:00 pm, FREE

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial [DJ] 9:00 pm

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

Bombs Away Café Abolitionist with Tirade [ROCK] 10:00 pm, $3 Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Al Rivers [BLUES] 8:00 pm

THE ALCHEMIST

First Presbyterian 114 SW 8th St John McCutcheon [FOLK] 8:00 pm, $16 OSU Memorial Union Lounge Jeffers-Carlson Duo [CLASSICAL] 12:00 pm, FREE Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE DJ Alex, 9:00 pm, FREE

Wanted Saloon Grupo Ashe [LATIN] 9:30 pm, $10

Lebanon

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Thunder Road [ROCK] 9:00 pm

Tangent

Dixie Creek Saloon Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE

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16 saturday Albany

Calapooia Brewing Matthew Price [ACCOUSTIC] 8:00 pm City Hall Parking Lot 4th and Ellsworth Albany Farmer’s Market Mitch Hider [FOLK] 9:30 am Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Dance Party with DJ Unofficial, 9:00 pm

Corvallis

Bombs Away Café yOya with Norman [INDIE] 10:00 pm, $5 FCC Gatton Hall 4515 SW West Hills Rd Contra Dance: Cascade Crossing with Gordy Euler [Folk] 7:30 pm, $7 Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Coin of the Realm Orchestra with Int’l Fiddle Champion Zach Konowalchuk [FOLK] 8:00 pm

Corvallis Farmers’ Market First St and Monroe Figs and Thistle [Baroque] 9:00 am Peacock Bar and Grill DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm, FREE Squirrel’s Tavern Sweeter Than the Day [AMERICANA JAZZ] 9:00 pm Troubadour Music Center Tom & Ellen Demarest [FOLK] 8:00 pm, $10

Lebanon

Lebanon Coffee House and Eatery, 661 Main Street Afternoon Free Movie, 2:00 pmLive Music, 6:30 pm Merlin’s Bar & Grill Thunder Road [ROCK] 9:00 pm

17 sunday

Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant, 2306 Heritage Way SE Strings of Time [MELODIC JAZZ] 6:00 pm, FREE

Contributed Photo

Corvallis

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE

Lebanon

Merlin’s Bar Jam Session [ JAM] 7:00 pm

18 monday

Corvallis

Fireworks Restaurant and Bar Southtown Open Mic Talent Search 8:00 pm

To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

Albany

Calapooia Brewing Blues Jam, 4:00 pm

yOya

Bombs Away Café • Saturday 10 pm Photo by: Daniel Sheehan

Sweeter Than the Day

Squirrel’s Tavern • Saturday 9 pm 541.928.3431 32067 Old Hwy 34 Tangent, OR

BUY 10 GET ONE FREE!

Tuesday - Saturday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm

GREENHOUSE: Frames & Kits, Plastics, Cloths, Heating/Cooling/Lighting ORGANICS: Composts, Nutrients, Seed Saver Exchange Retailer ENVIRONMENT: Controllers, Fans, Air Filters, Reverse Osmosis

29th & Grant (541)452-3115 • 7-9 Daily

HYDROPONIC: Flood, Areo,Mediums, Nutrients, H2O Tanks LIGHTING: High Pressure Sodium, Metal Halide, T-5s, Fluorescent

20% off MSRP on most items for our military Veterans.

Commercial,Agriculture, Business,and Community Garden pricing too.

Locally owned and operated

www.samuraigreenhousesupply.com

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NORTH CORVALLIS SOUTH CORVALLIS

1007 SE 3rd (541)753-3115 • 7-9 Daily

www.firstalt.coop

THE ALCHEMIST

NEW! Frequent Buyer cards for coffee, muffins & scones, and oatmeal... Saves you time and money!

OCTOBER 12-OCTOBER 18, 2010

15


The sum of the parts is the creator of the hole.


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