HUGAS KAMAY - The Appraiser's Literary Folio (A.Y. 2020-2021)

H U GAS KA M A Y

THE APPRAISER Literary Folio - HUGAS KAMAY Tomo VI Bilang 1 Karapatang-ari © 2021

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ng The Appraiser ang opisyal na publikasyon ng College of Business, Economics, and Management ng Bicol University.

Ang mga komento at mungkahi ay maaring ipahatid sa:

E-mail address: theappraiser2007@gmail.com Website: issuu.com/theappraiser2007 Facebook: facebook.com/theappraiser2007

Nananatili sa indibidwal na may-akda o may-dibuho ang karapatangari ng bawat piyesang ipinalimbag dito. Hindi maaaring ipalathala muli o gamitin sa anumang paraan ang alin sa mga nilalaman nang walang karampatang pahintulot ng may-akda o may-dibuho.

Ang tomong ito ay hindi ipinagbibili.

Ang pabalat ay likha ni Frances Bitancur Ang layout ng folio ay gawa ni Arcel James Cruz

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THE APPRAISER LITERARY FOLIO

TOMO VI Bilang 1

AGOSTO 2021 3

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T alaan

Ang Opisyal na Kalipunan ng mga Akdang Pampanitikan ng The Appraiser, Tomo VI Bilang 1 LUPONG PATNUGUTAN

2020 - 2021 Associate Editor: Mik ko M. Panesares

Editor-in-Chief: Niña B. Orido

Managing Editor: Mae Joy A. Redito

News Editor: Charmaine Hannah B. Torrecampo

Senior Cartoonists: John Owen P. Pamplona Joshua A. Araña

Feature Editor: Vitus A. Moron

Senior Photojournalist: Precious Joy A. Deuda

Sports and Creative Editor: Jeremiah B. Cordial

Senior Writer: Jamaica B. Blancaflor

Literary Editor: Ma. Jemarah Solyn E. Sabio

Online Content Editor: Arjay R. Bejer

Staff Writers: Jude H. Barasona Mary Ann B. Bataller James L. dela Cruz, Mickha Ella Comoda Patricia Michiko Fernandez Crizelle Reniva

Copy Editor: Adrian Gebb B. Bio

Cartoonist: Frances Bitancur

Chief Layout Artist: Aron N. Anastacio

Photojournalists: Lianne Andrea de Guzman Eliza S. Legazpi

DevComm Editor: Mannylyn V. Cullon

Chief Cartoonist: Maedhyne N. Alim

Layout Artists: Alyssa Nicole T. Buencamino Arcel James S. Cruz

Chief Photojournalist: Solomon Mig S. Bustamante

Adviser: Prof. Geniva M. Nario

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About the Cover In the stillness of solitude of faltering silence, Many cried for a presence and the present Their spirits could not stand, could not ask, Counting the days were a sad and weary task So, if tomorrow was today, I would drown In all the answers to questions that I've found The rushing of water; a soothing sound The more I drown, more I become.

Dirty were the hands, Haunted were the minds Motionless, as I looked behind.

If tomorrow was today, How many tomorrows were lost today?

Words by Crizielle Reniva

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NOTE FROM THE LITERARY EDITOR

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hole excavated to completely see what's inside; plunged into the pit of bitterness of society—where writers write and express the shorelines of their mind through the waves of curiosity, through granules of sand in a lost dimension of what our country has (yet) to offer and what's more to come.

Hearts and minds are restless, ever wandering.. ever wondering what we deserve, what we still deserve after a series of catastrophe initially disrupted us. So now through this literary collection, writers express, writers demand, and writers feel. Express what they think is right, demand what they think we deserve, and feel what needs to be felt. The words shall be pulled up from the soil, clean them with bare hands, and serve them up for satisfaction.

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Mula sa Patnugot Sa daloy ng tubig, sumabay ang agos ng mga salita. Nang madugtong ang mga kataga, ang maputlang pahina’y pinunan ng tinta.

Sa tila pagsikip ng ating ginagalawang mundo, sinong magaakalang gamit ang tubig at sabon ay may maililigtas na buhay.

Habang nalalagay sa peligro ang karamihan sa pagtalikod sa tungkuling sinumpaan.

Umiikot sa dalawang talinghaga ang kalipunang ito. Sa isang banda, proteksiyon ang hatid: ang paghuhugas ng kamay upang isalba ang kapwa. Habang sa kabila’y banta ang dala: ang panganib ng paghuhugas-kamay sa buhay ng iba. Malinaw kung alin ang kailangan ngayon ng bayan ngunit mayroon pa ring pinipili ang huli kaysa una.

Marahil sa pagragasa ng ideyang walang katiyakan ang lahat, dito ka dinala ng iyong mga kamay. Habang hinahanap mo pa ang sariling daloy mula nang mahinto ang nakasanayan, hayaan mong tangayin ka ng mga guhit at sulating nabuksan ng pandemya – mga akdang inspirasyon ang reyalidad at hinasa ng imahinasyon. Pagkatapos mong buklatin ang mga pahina, nawa’y mabatid mo ang mga salitang bubuo sa iyong kwento o ng ibang tao na walang kakayahang isatitik ang mga ito.

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INTRODUCTION We've always wondered what's the purest, Dignity, reputation, justice and the rest, Is there a way to keep them pure?

And if tarnished, is there any cure?, Everything will boil down to it's core, It's true nature, form and odor, That's a popular saying by human, But we don't fret, 'cause we're not a fan.

We always watch unfairness and injustice, We were dispatched to patch those with avarice, We're so weightless, yet also we're weighty, Enough to influence the decisions of many.

We've hidden impossible cases, We've erased the most tainting traces, We also created mystifying mysteries, Even played and bended laws and justice.

Because as far as we've seen, Even the purest intent can't hide nor stay clean, Nor match our persuasive and tempting skills, For we, we are the blue bills.

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MGA Nilalaman Dishwasher 10 12 Pasada 14 16 Utang 22 24 Hudas Kamay 26 28 Pandemic Realization 30 31 The red line 32 34 Dugoang Kamay 36 37 Auction 38 40 Dishonest 41 42 Maskara 46 48 Sumpang Biyaya 50 52 The Drought that Haunts 54 56 Ang Hapag Kainan 58 60 Kababalaghan 68 70 Laughter After Laughter 72 76

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Description of Unfairness Tainted Lapok Bakong Rugo

Maiba, Taya Pananaw-agan Tuhog Abysmal Misery Ang Totoong Naiipit E-Struggle Satisfaction SUS Me Sullied Soil Istorya ni Soledad Dalawampung Segundo o Higit Pa Cleansing

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DISHWASHER

Artwork by Frances Bitancur

Alone in this bench, I’d been keeping an eye of this gentleman. He’s just an ordinary dishwasher of your satellite fastfood restaurant, nothing really special. His shift was in the early morning until the store closes early midnight. He scarce in money leading him to consider accepting any extra work he can get in order to sustain his family’s everyday expenses. But in this particular day, something went amiss.

man behind him. He was enclasp by the man and was caught offguard removing the possibility of escape. “Hoy! Caught some rat hanging around here” said the man. The two appeared shortly with an excited and relieved impression, “You got yourself into the right timing at the moment, my boy”. The gentlemen struggled and screamed for help, but it was gloomily night time in the middle of nowhere. He was set free from the tight clasp and turn to run away from these perpetrators.

“I’m sorry boy, it was for the job and it needed to be done-“and the sound gunshots echoed.

After his nocturnal scheduled job, he’s ready to head home not until he noticed some flickering light at the far side from the store.

He heard murmurs and sensed tension is afoot. Curiosity hit him and proceeds to get near; he got a quick glance of two men with shovel near a mound. And man said “they won’t buy it… might as well remove all of it or find someone to blame on-“. He felt anxious to what he got into. His instincts tell him to run quickly away as fast as he could, but he’s too late to notice the third

In the Morning, news reports were flooded by a shot-dead young man, said holding a sum of believed drug evidences.

Three cops were rewarded for their efforts in this case.

Together with this gentleman in this bench, we witness another heroic achievement of the prevailing justice.

by John Owen P. Pamplona

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Description of Unfairness

by Jemarah Solyn Sabio People's shoulders slacked, with eyes looking desperate— Desperate to know answers, unveiling the sinister of the abundance of iniquity.

The rich are getting richer, the poor are in desperate need to feed their hunger.

Now standing, one foot in a platform, while the other one is hanging in anger.

The light, lit by void; void of silence set to attack.

They say eventually, these injustices and unfairness won’t matter But time will tell of what does and; It will unceasingly seek those who are incapable and powerless.

The terror we are to face in the hands of injustices will kill us eventually.

It is the description of unfairness, that will eat every ounce of our hope, brutally.

Artwork by John Owen Pamplona

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Pasada Tula ni Niña B. Orido

Nang huminto ang gulong At ang bansa’y tila nakulong Nauwi sa pamamalagi sa garahe Nakasanayang milya-milyang biyahe Sa una’y pasasalamat ang nabigkas Makapagpapahinga sa wakas Hanggang mga araw ay naging buwan Di na sasapat ang mga naitabi’t inilaan Nang magbukas muli ang mga pinto Tinanggap ang tsansang makaalis sa pagkahinto Pagkat batid na di ito bakasyon, Di inalintana ang mga limitasyon Mga materyales inihanda Tela, plastic, kahoy at pangmarka Sinukat ang tamang distansya Hanggang permiso’y makuha 14

Tunay na nakakapanibago Maluwang ang espasyo Sa pagitan ng mga pasahero Resulta sa pamasahe’y omento Isang taon ang dumaan Heto pa rin ako Nakakabit pa rin ang mga pamagitan Bakas ang mga punit at alikabok na namuo Nasaksihan sa aking byahe Ilang bersyon ng kwarantina Bilang ng mga kaso ang umaabante Habang paatras ang tugon sa pandemya Nang huminto ang gulong Hirap na sumabay sa daluyong Sa ila’y pansamantala Habang naging tiyak para sa iba Kung ang ng mikrobiyo’y di kayang pigilan Ng tagpi-tagping retaso Ano pa ang aasahan sa tagpi-tagping plano?

Debuho ni Alyssa Nicole Buencamino

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Tainted

by Maedhyne Alim

It has been in practice for many years now on how workers in the field of medicine should properly wash their hands. Wet your hands, lather soap, rub between the fingers, insides of your nails and top of your hands.

Then rinse and repeat.

As a nurse myself, it’s impossible to go on a day without washing my hands, but these days I’ve been taking my time to soap, rub and rinse them.

Rinse and repeat— “Riley!”

Startled, I jolted in my place and turn to look at the person beside me.

“Doctor… ‘sorry for spacing out. I’m just thinking about something.”

“I’ve called you three times already while you’ve been obsessively rubbing on your palms. Look, they’re irritated—stop it already.”

Doctor Blake held his hand over mine as warmth spread through his fingers, calming my nerves down. He always had that effect over me and I could tell he knew just as much. Feeling a slight pressure on his hold, I tilted my head to meet his eyes.

He lowered his head, enough for me to hear the words ‘don’t worry about it, it’ll be over soon’ as he stood back and beckon me to follow.

At that moment, I believed him.

You see, Doctor Blake and I is in a complicated relationship. He’s married to his childhood sweetheart and I was the antagonist leeching off on their happily-ever-after. I tried to hold back—I really did, but he unexpectedly reciprocated my treacherous desires which only grew as time went on. We both just felt the compatibility between us as if we’re meant to be. Just being in each other’s presence felt freeing.

But the thing is; his wife was hospitalized two months ago and was assigned under my care.

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A light flickered at the end of the hall as Doctor Blake and I walked towards Room 434 – a private ward for his gravely ill wife. The short walk was filled with calm silence and rhythmic footsteps, but I saw how his shoulders tensed when he reached for the door.

A small creaked indicated our presence to the woman lying on the pillows I have propped behind her before I left the ward. A token of kindness from an otherwise sinful creature.

“Mallory, how are you feeling?” Doctor Blake sat beside his wife, loosely cradling her hand. “Feeling any better?”

She only let out a feeble chuckle and wheezed as she coughed heavily. “I- I feel like hell.”

I watched as the Doctor rubbed and tentatively stroked Mallory’s back, trying to hide my satisfaction on how he looked like he’s seeing me through her. His eyes seemed to soften and sparkle as he turned to look at me.

“Nurse Riley, would you mind getting her something warm to drink?”

My fingers twitched as I felt my palms itch.

“Not at all. I’ll be right back.”

With one last smile, I turned to fetch the beverage that would surely warm her up.

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“Nurse Riley, get a new sheet and rewrite this.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

As I turned to leave, Doctor Blake took hold of my arm and bent down to whisper. “You can start administering double doses of her medication.”

His words ‘don’t worry about it, it’ll be over soon’ echoed in my mind the whole day after that.

Night crept by slowly as the halls of the bustling hospital gradually quiet down. I feigned making rounds as I discreetly observed my surroundings. Doctor Blake was caught in the middle of an operation and took a number of assisting nurses along, leaving few of us to check up on the slumbering patients.

“Oh, hey Riley. Would you mind taking my place for a bit while I go to the C.R.?”

I stared at the nurse in the reception are before arching my lips to a smile. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.”

“Thanks! I’ll be quick.”

I watched her round the corner, giving it a few seconds and immediately sprang into action after my brief countdown. Locating her file and temporarily disabling Room 434’s monitory for 30 minutes, the first phase of our plans was in action.

“I’m back, thanks for your assistance.”

“No worries,” I clutched the syringe in my pocket. “I’ll be making my final rounds now, see you tomorrow!”

Photo by Jemica Clavillas

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The usual deafening tone of the EKG machine was muted as I stood there, watching her succumb to the Abrin I’ve been administering her. Tiny doses at first, until we’ve reached the point where that wasn’t satisfactory anymore.

Palming the empty syringe I’ve injected to her IV, I strained my ears for the inevitable.

I stayed rooted to my place as her slumbering figure suddenly awoke, wheezing and struggling for air. Mallory clutched her chest painfully as she uncontrollably coughed and hacked droplets of blood; a sign of her dying lifeline.

When I was satisfied with how much I saw her suffer, I attempted to made my escape but a slick, burning sensation grasp my hand, stunning me in place.

Amidst that, there was a cold material piercing through my skin.

Her chilled wedding ring.

Like a corpse shocked back into life, I realized that I’ve run out of time. I freed my arm from her clasp that had grown slack and reconnected the EKG back to its terminal.

“Shit,” letting out a tense curse, I struck the Nurse Call button and faked the motion of performing a CPR, until attending nurses came bustling in with the defibrator.

I rushed towards the bathroom, frantically opening the faucet whilst repeating a mantra to calm my nerves; wet your hands, lather soap, rub between the fingers, insides of your nails and top of your hands.

Then rinse and repeat.

Rinse and repeat— “Riley!”

Like deja vu I turned towards to look towards his direction.

“Doctor…”

“Riley, what’s going on with you these days?”

I saw his eyes scanned for possible bystanders or occupants. There was none but I still feel a phantom presence looing over us, mocking our disgraceful existence. “‘It’ll be over soon.’ that’s what you told me before.” I threaded my shaking palms over my tresses, trying to tidy them up from my haggard features.

“But isn’t it over now? We’re both free.”

“Are we, really?” I stared at our reflection in the vanity mirror. “this does not scream freedom to me.”

Doctor Blake wrapped his arms around my torso, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“We may never be accepted by the world but as long as I have you, it’s enough for me.”

He reached his hand out to me.

“Let’s go?”

I nodded with a smile, entwining our tainted hands as we both left the men’s bathroom Illustration by Maedhyne Alim

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Utang

Tula ni Arjay Bejer ”Pautang naman ng tiwala Mang Juan, Sa karera ay aking kailangan, Huwag ka mag-alala, hindi kita kakalimutan, Pagkatapos, ika'y aking babalikan”, Mga salitang sinabi saakin noon, Ng mga taong naka Americana't Barong, Hinihintay ko na sila ngayon, Maniningil sana ng utang mula kahapon.

“Ay manong yun ba yung utang ko?, Nagastos ko na eh! Abunado pa nga ako, Iisa lang naman yun, di naman ganun kahalaga, Kaya pasensya na, yung kapital ko babawiin ko pa” Ganoon ba iyon kabilis kalimutan, Matapos kong itiman ang kanilang pangalan, Sila'y mawawala na parang walang pinagkautangan, Magbabago, gaya ng kanilang pagsasalita't tugmaan.

Sayang, ang paligid ay hindi naman putikan, Ngunit madungis ang kanilang mga damit at pangalan, “naghuhugas-kamay” sabi ng karamihan, Para sakin, sila'y sadyang totoo sa kasinungalingan.

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Kaya pala maraming politiko nakasuot ng Louis Vuitton, kasi sa balat ng buwaya gawa iyon Debuho ni Jeremiah Cordial

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Debuho ni Solomon Mig Bsutamante

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LAPOK BAKONG RUGO Tula ni James de la Cruz

Di ko na mabilang, sinapar na aldaw Pownu magkamati, di na maaraman Da boses na silyak, ining mata tigang Kahoron saro lang, malipot na bakal Di maali-ali, lapok sakong kuko Na tigkakaputan, magpun binatilyo Dai naisipan, maski man kinano Na sa sakong kamot, ilalaid rugo Niata sa sintabo, kusog nasusukol Kayang dalaganan, salang gigibohon Kakanon masiram, an turog ararom Ginto an panghugas, kamot malinigon

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Hudas Kamay

Tula ni Jamaica B. Blancaflor sikmura'y 'di pa kumakalam ngunit heto ka't wari'y galang pusang nag-aabang nakaharap sa orvasan kayo'y nagtititigan sa pag-abot ng alas-tres kayo'y nag-uunahan. wala na ang ingay. kung hindi ka maingat, malamang magigising ang lahat kaya ika'y nagdahan-dahan nagdahan dahan. sa loob ng kalderong minanmanan naroon ang bangus na inaasam inubos nang inubos ngunit baka may maggising kaya't binilisan. nginuya nang nginuya hanggang walang matira at kinalimutan ang bilin ng minamahal na ina 26

"totoy iyan ay 'di para saiyo kaya't 'wag maging sakim at magpaampon sa tukso" ngunit anong magagawa ng biling ibinigkas kung laging may paraang sa rehas makatakas kaya't upang langsa'y maiwasan kamay mo'y dali-daling hinugasan bente segundo. bente segundo. kinaumagaha'y walang nakaalam isinisi ang lahat sa pusang napadaan siya ang nabuhusan, siya ang nabinvtangan paulit-ulit paulit ulit. sabi ng ina'y maghugas ng kamay upang 'di magkasakit ngunit totoy ba't tila'y paghugas ng kamay ang iyong naging sakit? kung ikaw ay may kakayanang pabanguhin ang lansa paano naman silang mga "mabahong" walang digta?

Debuho ni John Owen Pamplona

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Maiba, Taya

Tula ni Jamaica B. Blancaflor

totoy paano ka kung ang basehan ng 'yong halaga at bigat ng 'yong mga salita ay nakabatay sa linis ng 'yong kuko o sa halimuyak ng mga kamay mo anong puwang mo sa mundo? kung ang sinasabi nilang karapatan ay para lang sa "malilinis" ang kamay sa mga hindi kailangang kumaykay para lamang tiya'y magkalaman sinong magtatanggol sa'yo? kung ang hustisyang pinaglalaban ay para lamang sa mga "malilinis" kung tingnan sapagkat ang gamit nilang pansabon yaong kanilang unipormeng dekolor at "kaayaayang" posisyon

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paano ka kung silang mga kagalang-galang daliri may dumampi sa kasalanan walang digtang maiiwan, walang bakas ng kaganidan walang makakaalam. paano na kung ikaw ang laging taya sa larong 'di naman ikaw ang pakana laging matuturo, laging matatalo sapagkat sa mundong hinubog nila laging may sabong lilinis ng kanilang digta at kung sino pa ang patas ay siyang laging kawawa sa mundong mapagbalat-kayo totoy, paano ka?

Larawang kuha ni Precious Joy Deuda

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Pandemic Realization

by Jenelyn B. Borres Third Place, Black-out Poetry

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Pananaw-agan

ni Lianne Andrea de Guzman Ako, ikaw, preso ng pandemya Tayo pa rin ang patuloy na nagdurusa Inakala mo rin palang dalawang linggo Lumipas na ang anibersaryo at heto Balisa ka rin pala Tila sunod-sunod na ang mga problema Hirap ka na rin talaga sa araw-araw Pagbabago di mo na rin matanaw Inisip mo na rin pala Kung may pakialam talaga sila Maling-mali na ang sistema Nakukuha pang magpatawa Kilala mo rin pala ang kanilang hulma Alam mo na rin pala kung sino maysala Bakit pa magbubulag-bulagan Kung kitang-kita na ang katotohanan Pansin mo rin pala sa kanilang mga salaysay Lahad ang kanilang mga nagdudumihang kamay Baon na baon sa bawat daliri Pero tayo pa rin talaga ang sinisisi Sa bawat patak ng tubig na dumadaloy Nililinis, binubura nila mga bakas ng pambababoy Dumi man o mikrobyo, dugo’t kasalanan Alin man dito’y patuloy nilang hinuhugasan Larawang kuha ng CNN Philippines

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the red line

by Michiko Fernandez it was dark that night with only the glistening stars emitting a soft glow two figures emerged from the corner, trying to go unnoticed, but the horrors of their crime were crying louder than ever then all i saw was red from the thick substance dripping on the pavement to the bloodshot eyes of the perpetrator all of which painted such a horrible scene that could've only been seen in films, that is... until now

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tell me, who is at fault? the ones who did the crime or the wallflower that just watched as if it was all a bad dream the next day, the news was on flashbacks of what happened last night teary-eyed, the outlaws cried how the victim's at blame yet he's the one covered in red all i could do was stare in disbelief how one call, one video recording could've made the difference but the hands that did it just washed up while the man in red drowned in it red was the first color i learned and i used to love it dearly but everything's changed.

Illustration by Mae Joy Redito

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TUHOG

maikling kwento ni Mikko Panesares

Debuho ni John Owen Pamplona

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"Mark, buntis ako."

Dapat ay kakain lang sila ng kwek-kwek ngayong hapon sa may tapat ng simbahan (kung saan raw sila magpapakasal balang araw), ngunit nasabi na niya. Wala sa tiyempo at biglaan ngunit nasabi pa rin niya. Kinakabahan si Joy. Kinakabahan siya sa patutunguhan ng pag-uusap na ito.

Ang binata namang si Mark na kanina'y tuloy-tuloy lang sana sa pagnguya ay napatigil, huminga nang pagkahaba-haba, at saka pinunasan ang wala namang pawis na noo. Hindi naman nga mainit. Makulimlim ang langit. Malihim at nagbabadyang umiyak.

"Mark—" "Hindi pwede 'yan," mabilis na sambit ng lalaki sabay tingin sa kalsada na animo'y naninigurong walang ibang nakikinig. Hindi na nito pinapansin ang pagkain sa kamay. Pinunasan nitong muli ang noo at bahagyang hininaan ang boses sa muling pagsasali-

ta. "Nag-iingat naman tayo diba?

Joy, hindi pwede. Ako ang panganay sa pamilya namin. Dalawang taon na lang gagraduate na ako oh. Gagraduate na tayo."

Dean's lister si Mark, matalino at masipag. Responsable. O 'yon ang inakala ni Joy. Gusto sanang magalit ng dalaga ngunit ngumisi na lang siya at nagsalita.

"Akala ko susubukan mong panindigan ang bata," mahinang sambit ni Joy habang nakatitig sa mga mata ng kasintahan. Marahan niyang inilapit ang kaniyang mga labi sa tainga ng binata.

"Mabuti na lang pala, hindi ikaw ang tatay," bulong ni Joy sabay lakad papaalis.

Sa mga kwentong ihahayag ni Joy sa kaniyang mga kaibigan ay sasabihin niyang walang bayag ang binata. Sa mga kwento naman ni Mark ay haliparot ang dalaga at nagpabuntis sa iba.

Hindi lahat ng kwento ay may bida.

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Dugoang Kamay

by France Angellete M. Grageda First Place, Literary Graphics

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Abysmal Misery

by Russel Marie R. Racal

Second Place, Black-out Poetry

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Auction

By Vitus A. Moron

Cameras started clicking as the spotlight serves as my comfort from the possibility of becoming blind from the bright lights. I did my best to showcase the most authentic smile I could possibly muster in front of millions of viewers.

"Ever since I was a kid, I truly wanted to become an actor. I finished my first three years in high school before I took my chances to move here in Manila for the pursuit of bigger opportunities. My leap of fate didn't give me favors in an instant as a promdi seemed to be too uncultured to explore the realms of show business. The number of casting calls equated to the rejections as there were far more handsome and talented aspiring actors who could trample a mediocre high school drop-out," I responded candidly to the host's question.

My life was never a walk in the park. My parents shunned me and told me to never return as I'm just a selfish and self-centered jerk who wanted to leave his family for the big city. Being a waiter for a small diner does not totally pay the bills so I slept

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on convenient stores for two months before I could afford a bed space.

"For almost five years, I worked hard to juggle my day job and pursue my acting career. Thankfully, it finally paid off." I added.

As determination, hard work, and perseverance are said to be elements for guaranteed success, I aimed to embody those qualities. I slept with directors, producers, actors, and actresses before I landed small roles on television and eventually, grabbing the main role in a hit series.

"Wow, I never knew that it was hard for you because you seemed to be well put together. I'm sure everyone wanted to know the people who constantly give you strength to continue your journey. To whom you owe this new-found success?"

There was no God to heed my call.

Angels didn't grace their divine glory and sing melodiously with their harps to save my sanity. I sold a piece of me to worship every entity who could give me what I wanted.

Sacrifices were to be made, which include people in my life to reap wondrous outcomes.

And it happened.

I finally won.

Illustration by Frances Bitancur

"First, I would like to thank my supportive family. I love you Ma and Pa. I know you’re watching me proudly from above and justice will reign from your wrongful deaths. I would like to thank the producers and directors who took a chance on this boy from the province, my colleagues who treated me kindly in the industry, but most of all I like to thank God for everything. I also wanted to say to everyone to always wear a mask and wash your hands as the pandemic is still thriving."

The desire to scratch the itch I felt after saying those words burned my systems but I kept the confident grin permanently etched on my face.

I just needed to say what everyone wanted to hear as I'm tied by my own puppet strings.

I'm a hypocrite.

But who isn't?

I just acted on it like everyone would, but can't because of fear.

I went to the hell and back so I have nothing left to be afraid of.

So here I am.

Tainted but unwavering.

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Ang Totoong Naiipit Tula ni Jude Barasona

Sa ilalim ng umaagos na tubig Dama ng kamay, umaapaw na lamig.

Salitang bumubuhos sa iyong bibig Tulad ng apoy ng matang umiibig Itangal ang mga duming kumakapit Sino nga ba ang totoong naiipit?

Mga salitang patuloy pinipilit hanganan ng ‘yong butil ay aming sakit.

Sa anong paraan ako’y tatahamik?

Kung pag-ibig kong ito ay umiimik. lamig ng tubig isa sa daming salik. alab ng pag-ibig ‘di mananhimik.

Mga pusong mapait na sumisigaw Sakit sa salitang hindi mabitiwan Tulad rin ng mga kamay na iniwan Magisang nakatingala sa ilawan.

Ang mga kamay na inyong huhugasan kamay na tumatalikod sa lipunan Tunay na dugong inyong iiiwasan Ang Katotohanang iyong iniiwan.

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Dishonest

by Abegail D. Lorica First Place, Black-out Poetry

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42

Debuho ni Alyssa Nicole Buencamino

E-Struggle Tula ni Jeremiah Cordial Nagugutom na ako Kumakalam na ang aking sikmura ´Di pa rin napagtatanto Kung pa’no ibubusog Ang tiyan ng buong pamilya.

Walang trabaho, Walang pambili, Walang ibang inaasahan kundi ang sarili Pilit hinahanap ang buhay na matiwasay Ni butil ng bigas, kailangang ihukay.

Ubos na ang mga oras Lupaypay na ang mga kalamnan Kailangan ko nang lumabas Para mapakain ang sampung tiyan Nga lang…

May gagawin pa pala akong mga assignment.

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Artwork by Alyssa Nicole Buencamino

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Maskara

Tula ni Mary Ann Bataller Kilala mo ba sila?

Silang mga tinitingala Mga mata’y nakasara’t tiklop ang dila Sa mga kasalanang ginawa sa likod ng madla.

Nakasalamuha mo na ba sila?

Marahil ay oo, maraming beses na Kabutihan nila, sa isip mo’y nakatala Ngunit pagkukunwari’y hindi mo napuna.

Sa mga oras ng pagdadalamhati Ang atensyon ay hati Sa kung sinong walang ginawang mali At sinong nagkukunwari.

Kanino ka papanig?

Sa kanya na palad ay marumi’t tigang O sa may palad na malinis, hindi magaspang Alalahanin mong minsan ang naghuhugas- kamay ay siyang naglilinis linisan.

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Debuho ni Frances Bitancur

My love, I wanted to tell you.

I enjoyed this life lying next to you.

Fast food on the table, Clothes on the worn-out floor.

Your loving quenches my fear.

My choice.

A wicked afterglow.

Go to work and say, "See you soon."

Bed sheets obscured the horizons, Wrongful but the most beautiful.

I can't wait until I got home at sunset, To conquer a forbidden delight On my wry mindset.

City lights are witnesses On the most careful tiptoes.

The night sky sees me, But does it ever hear me?

Wash away my worries.

Sundays suddenly became medieval.

This rendezvous is the constant, I only attend religiously.

Rash decisions, Careless miscalculations.

Without warning, A seed has brought forth a fruit.

Unexpected.

Taboo.

"See you soon."

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, The ecstasy pacified my inner fiend.

Scandalous.

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Satisfaction

by Vitus A. Moron

Sinister.

Too much pleasure, Could make me moan out my blasphemies to heavens.

n

Cartoon by Solomon Mig S. Bustamante

I thought I already found my holy grail.

A life without exaggerations and eccentricities.

But contentment killed my mediocrity, In exchange for an abrupt ending, I never really intended.

Poor me And my felicity.w My love, I never wanted to leave you, But this is a nightmare in hindsight.

Another life is not what I asked for.

I guess this romance fell to another mundanity.

Goodbye.

I'm sure.

Probably.

I'll be going back To my picture-perfect trophies, My original sunrise And reality to my reverie.

Like nothing happened, The only normal I will always embrace.

Secrets piling up like stacked rocks.

Permanent. Treacherous. Unforgivable.

My love, I have always enjoyed lying to you.

My darling, Can you ever forgive me?

I wouldn't want an answer Either way, So I'll keep it shut, Until this moment pass way.

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Sumpang Biyaya Normal sa kapanganakan walang kapintasan kumpletong mga daliri iniluwal na una ang ulo bago ang ari.

Madalas mang kutyain swerte kung tutuusin nagagamit kong lahat ang ipinagkaloob sa akin.

Mata para sa paningin Tainga para sa pandinig Bibig na nagsisiwalat ng nakita ng mga mata at narinig ng tainga mula sa hangin.

Biyaya kung sasabihin di lahat may paningin, di lahat may pandinig, di lahat makapagsiwalat ng saloobin sa pamamagitan ng pagbigkas ng mga letrang nabuo sa isipan natin.

Ngunit anong silbi? kung pilit pinipiringan ang matang nakasaksi harap-harapang tinatanggi kuha na sa akto, pero nagagawang sumalisi— Pilit tinatanggi, ginagawa nila ito sa umaga't sa gabi, pinoprotektahan ang mga sarili tila nawalan ng saysay ang "TO SERVE & PROTECT" ng ating mga minsa'y naturingang bayani

50

Mata'y pinipiringan, ang iba nama'y nagbubulag-bulagan takot makita ang nangyayari sa paligid takot harapin ang katotohanan.

Pilit tinatakpan, ang mga taingang binubulungan sigaw ng taong bayan tila hindi pinapakinggan, bingi-binigihan kung tatawagin ang mga taong nakaupo minsa'y tinitingala na natin kailan sila tatayo?

Pag eleksyon siguro ulit, sabay abot ng bigas at delata sa atin— Pilit pinuputol ang dila, di makapagsalita kung minsa'y nabubulol, nauutal sigaw ng masa tila binabalewala minsan kang magsalita malagutan nang hininga dapat handa mong harapin.

Di ako bulag, Di ako bingi, at mas lalong hindi ako pipi pero yun ang gusto ng mga nakaupo sa itaas ang manatiling api ang mga inaapi, ang manatiling makapangyarihan sila laban sa nakararami biyayang masasabi pero hindi para sa mga minsan nang itinanggi.

Tula ni Mickha Ella Comoda Debuho ni Aron N. Anastacio

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SUS Me

Tula ni Precious Joy A. Deuda Pagruluwasan mi sa Polus, Nailing ko si Gray.

Yaon nagascan sa Medbay Asin siya nagadan tulos.

Sa kurab na namatean, Ako duminalagan Asin sakong nalingawan Ireport ang gadan.

Bigla sanang nawaran Ki ilaw sa dalan.

Nagligad an duwang minuto, Nawara na su kaiba ming tulo.

Emergency Meeting samong ginibo.

Dangan inapot kun sisay kaidto Tinaram kong bako ako Ta kaibanan ko si Blue sa O2.

Labi-labi an sakong kaogmahan Kan nailing ang "Victory" sa ampangan.

Dae ninda nagkamaralayan Na ako saro sa paragadan 52

Debuho ni Jeremiah B. Cordial

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The Drought that Haunts

by Crizelle Reniva

Shouts were uttered with parched voices, And in the whispers they were loud and heard, The blinds were seeing of the truth, The poisons and sweet promises are on the loose, In the air and on the streets they abuse, And like Judas' kiss, with the lightest brush, they bruise.

The unfortunates were grateful for the scrapes, Gold was served and shining on some other's plate.

Beneath the rich man's mantle is a table gleaming with food, And as the rain outside heavily poured, There were souls who endured, And at a faraway place, mananitas occured.

The months and days eclipse, On the near-empty jar of water they sip, Hoping for the days that crawl to run, And the nights to be one with the sun.

The chaos was rising on its feet, There were shadows singing behind, there were monsters dancing to the beat.

They circled- and circled again, Twirling in all the corners, in clarity they feign.

And so the endless flight of battle endures.

Only the thought of a brighter tomorrow, reassures.

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Photo Manipulation by Aron Anastacio

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Sullied Soil It was a cold, dark place and my memories seemed a little fuzzy to even remember how I got there. There were four men with flashlights, gloves and masks who were trying to conceal something on the floor with a tarpaulin. They cordoned off our surroundings with yellow tapes that hurt my vision even more. We were in what looked like a storage house.

The doors were a tad open so I could slightly see

by Miko Pura First Place, Flash Fiction Writing

how the grasses danced with the wind. On the ground, I could see a Salakot, worn out, looking like it had fought the sun and monsoons for the longest time.

“Let’s just tell them he fought back. It’s our Chief’s command.” said by one guy to his companions.

“You think they will believe that?” protested by another. His deep voice was a little shaky.

“Look. We were ordered to do this.

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Let’s get this over with. I still have to go home!”, the guy shouted back.

I could not see their faces and the faint light in the murk wasn’t much of a help either. They started packing things up.

They all looked at what they covered on the ground and spat on it. They even put a signboard on top of it and celebrated with a laugh.

“Wait. Let me put this on his pocket first.”, one of the men slid a small pack of

a sachet under the covering and they all stepped outside, hopped on their car and rode away.

The day after that, a man was found in the middle of a farm inside a house. Breathless.

Bloodstained. Dead.

Our country is a cold, dark place and my memories are finally coming back. I can now recall how they shot me while I was walking in the middle of the night, coming home from work in the farm, only to be slaughtered by people in uniform. For the last time, I saw my Salakot, time worn, giving in finally to the punishing sun and monsoons.

by John Illustration

plona Owen Pam

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Ang Hapag Kainan

ni Paula T. Sarampote Unang Gantimpala, Pagsulat ng Tula Sa hapag ng magulo at maduming mundo Lahat ay kasalo Ang iba'y taga hain, ang iba'y nakikikain Ang iba'y taga tingin lang sa malayo At mayroong isang nakatago Malinis at ang pangala'y mabango Bago humarap sa hapag ng sistemang magulo Ligtas sa kasalanan, sapagkat nakapag hugas kamay na ito Sinong mag-aakala na sa lahat ng kasalo, siya ang may sala Ngunit bukas, makalawa, isa na siya sa biktima Lumuluha ang kanyang mga mata Ngunit may halong ngiti at nakatago ang saya Hindi ba't kahanga hanga ang pagbabalat kayo?

Sa umaga'y, tagapagpatupad ng batas Sa gabi'y taga bali nito Ang oras ng pagiging tapat at totoo ay limitado At sa lahat ng naghuhugas ng kamay, siya ang pinakamatalino Sa paghuhugas ay hindi lang dumi ang naaalis sa kamay nito

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Kundi pati ang mga katakot takot na krimeng sa isipa'y paulit ulit ng binuo Naisakatuparan sa loob lamang ng tatlong minuto Ang mga biktima, sa hapag ng sistema Bagama't bago at pagkatapos kumain ay naghuhugas din ng marahan Ngunit tila, iba ang tadhana sa mga taong hangad lamang ay kalinisan Sapagkat sa huli, sila ang may sala, ang nagbabayad ng kasalanan ng iba Totoo, magulo ang sistema ng bansang ito At isang tanong lang ang nais kong ipukol sa'yo Naghuhugas ka ba ng kamay para maalis ang dumi sa mga kamay mo O para mapagtakpan ang patong patong na mga kasalanan mo?

Debuho ni Alyssa Nicole Buencamino

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Istorya ni Soledad

ni Jimmy M. Celeste Jr. Unang Gantimpala, Pagsulat ng Maikling Kwento

“Sarado su bintana, sarado ang pintuan. May nag kakatok nin tok tok tok. May suminuriyaw ki balut, balut penoy! May nagsasayaw nin aring aring aring king king”. Habang maugma mi iyang igkakanta kang sakuyang tugang biglang kuminurahaw si mama. Alas sais na naman kang banggi. Madiklom na asin madadangog mo na ang mga ribok kang mga gamgam sa palibot kang mga kaharungan.

Dagitunon si mama habang igsusuriyaw ang samuyang pangaran. “Soledad buda Marieta! Tumunong na baya kamo kang pagkawat nindo dyan ta makaraon na kita”. Kuminaripas man tulos kami kang tugang ko pasiring samuya. Pag laog mi sa harong nahiling ko si papa na malainon ang hiling samuya.’’Oh ano pa ighalat nindo dyan? Maghugas na daw kamong duwa kang ka-

mot nindo.”

Ugmahon ako kang aldaw na ito. Masiramon su isira mi. Ito bagang ginisang sardinas tapos nilagan ki bunay.

Malang pag namit kang pakaluto ni mama. Habang kami naga karaon maugmahon ang pag urulay ulay mi sa lamesa.

Si tugang kong si Marieta naga isturya kang saiyang kaulay na aki daa ni Tiyo Eman. Ig isturya niya na kikaputan daa kaitong aki ni Tiyo Eman ang kamot niya. Pakasabi kaito ni Marieta ay mala tas kinurusing siya ni mama. Sabi pa naman ni mama “Ikang babaknit ka para dyesisais anyos ka pa sana may kakapot kaputan ka naman ki kamot. Pakaray dyan.

Umadal ka muna”. Pakasabi kaito ni mama naga ulok na sana kami ni Marieta tapos sabay hungit kang maluto. Pakatapos 60

Kanor ta nagakasundo sinda pirmi sa pagbulang. Kapag nawawalat kami ni Marieta sa harong iagihan man kami kang tiyuon mi na si Donisio. Pag nagba bantay samo si Tiyo Donisio minalain ang kutob ko saiya ta malainon kung makahiling samo ni Marieta. Minsan pa ngani minarayo kami ni Marieta ta bigla na sana iyan madulok samo tapos mahapot kung sain pwede maghugas ki kamot. Pakasimbag ko saiya tulos man akong minahali. Dipisil bati ngunyan ang panahon ta bati may pandemya. Kung may mangyare baga samo dipisil makahagad na tabang.

ko magakaon puminasiring na ako sa lababo asin naghugas garay kang sakuyang kamot para mahali su langsa kang sardinas. Uruatyan nadangog ko si papa naga paaram kay mama na mahali muna siya ta dumanon niya si Padeng Kanor niya. Si mama dai na nagsuway ta imbis wara ng ribok. Sa isip isip ko kaito maduman man sana siya ta makiinuman tapos pag uli kami man sana ang riribukon.

Ako palan si Soledad. Dyesinwebe anyos na. Sa ngunyan pag aadal ang sakuyang igaatupag. Kada man sabado buda domingo minatabang ako kay mama magibo ki baduya buda sinapot ta ililibot niya man pagkahapon.

Urualdaw si mama naga libot kaya minsan kami sana kang tugang kong si Marieta ang nawawalat sa harong. Ang sakuyang ama pirmi man wara sa harong. Yaon siya pirmi duman sa padehon niya na si

Kada mauli si mama maugmahon kami kang tugang ko ta may dara siya pirmi samo na kakanon na masiram. Pero nahahalata ko man na ihalat ni Tiyo Donisio si mama mag uli tapos kada pag uli ni mama mahugas muna siya kang saiyang kamot tapos saka makikipag ulay kay Tiyo Doni61

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Marieta tapos sinugo na magbakal duman ki tinapay buda coke duman sa bakery. Ako man igsabihan si Tiyo na siya na ang bumakal ta bati harayo ang bakery tapos nangisnit na.

Pero pakatapos ko magtaram kaini si Marieta diretso man dulok kay Tiyo Donisio tapos kinuha su kwarta ta mabakal daa siya tapos may coke man daa.

Dai na akong maginibo ta bati dai man ako saiya makaiba ta may igtapos akong simbagan.

Sinabihan ko na sana si Marieta na mag ingat asin syempre dai ko siya pinaluwas na daing face mask.

sio sa kusina. Ugmahon pirmi si mama pag naga ulay sindang duwa. Ako man naga ngalas pero igpabayaan ko na sana ta baad arog man talaga sinda kaito ta magpinsan man sinda.

Sarong aldaw nagsabi si mama na maduman siya sa madehon niya na si Yolanda.

Manlinig daa siya ki kuko ta sayang man daa. Pambakal mi naman ito ki bagas. Syempre kami na naman nawalat ni Marieta ta si papa yaon na naman duman sa padehon niya. Naga simbag ako kang sakuyang modyul kang biglang nag abot si Tiyo Donisio. Syempre hinangon siya ta grabe daa su init tapos naka face shield pa siya buda face mask ta baad daa madagitan daa siya kang mga tanod dyan sa may luwasan.

Paka abot abot niya bigla akong kinutuban. Malainon pagmati ko. Hanggang sa nagduman si Tiyo Donisio sa kubeta ta naghugas kang saiyang bitis.

Pakaluwas niya inapod niya si

Kami sana ni Tiyo Donisio sa harong. Naiirita ako ta malainon siya makatitig sako hanggang sa nagtaning siya sa may sakuya. Dai ko sana siya igpansin asin igpabayaan ko sana.

Atyan naghapot siya kung may ka ilusyon naman daa ako. Tulos ko man siyang sinimbag na mas tuon ang atensyon ko sa pag adal kaysa sa uru ilusyon 62

Tiyo Doniso. Tulala ako kaito. Dai ko aram gibuhon ko. Dai ako makataram. Pakahugas ni Tiyo Donisio kang saiyang ari sinabihan niya man ako na maghugas kang sakuyang kamot lalo na ta may mga dugo ini dahil sa kamrot niya. Pakatapos niya diretso siya luwas tapos sakto na yaon naman si Marieta. Ighanap ako kang tugang ko tapos nadangog ko si Tiyo na nagsabi na naga karigos daa ako. Buminuhat ako sa kinatutukawan ko asin duminiretso sa kwarto na gari wara sanang nangyare. Grabe ang pag ati ko sa lawas ko hanggang uminabot na su pagdalom asin huminale na si Tiyo Donisio. Bago siya magahali dinuman niya ako sain nagbanta sako na kung mag usip daa ako gagadanon niya si Marieta asin si mama. Sa sobrang takot ko tuminikom na sana ako.

na an. Pakasabi ko kaini bigla niyang kinaputan su hita ko.

Dai ako katio makahiro. Naga tarakig kaito su laman ko hanggang sa diit diit niyang igtaas su kamot niya asin ighapros ang maselang parte kang sakuyang lawas. Grabe ang kidit ko kaito hanggang sa naisip kong sikuhon siya tapos madalagan ako. Pero bago pa man ako magkadalagan nagunutan niya na su buhok ko. Naga kurahaw na ako kaito. Grabe ang pang gigigil niya sako. Tinangko niya ako sa may pintuan kang kwarto. Nangruluya su lawas ko hanggang sa natumba ako.

Kinaladkad niya ako pasiring sa kubeta. Dai akong maginibo.

Dai ko mahiro ang sakuyang lawas. Makusugon ang pwersa niya. Nagahagulhol ako kaito. Dai ako makasuriyaw ta nakapatong siya sakuya asin igtakupan niya ang ngimot ko gamit ang saiyang kamot. Grabeng kulog ang namamati ko kaito hanggang sa natapos si

Sarong bulan ang naglipas kang nangyareng panghahalay sako ni Tiyo Donisio.

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Larawang kuha ni Arcel James Cruz

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sana kaito ni papa ang nasa sala. Buyungon si papa. Atyan nagtindog siya asin puminasiring duman sa kwarto ninda ni mama. Habang turog si Marieta naga asikaso ako sa harong.

Nanamod samod man lamang para pag abot ni mama maaliwalas man lamang ang harong. Uruatyan inapod ako ni papa. Pipaduman niya ako sa kwarto. Nagsunod man tulos ako ta baad rumibok pa siya. Pag laog laog ko sa kwarto biglang may nag puot sa ngimot ko. Dai ako makasuriyaw. Pigpirit kong makawara sa kamot ni papa pero dai ko kaya ang saiyang kusog. Dai akong maginibo. Naga turo na sana ag luha ko. Dai ako piparibok ni papa. Ig hinghing niya pa sa talinga ko ‘’ Madali man sana kita baby. Pagbigyan mo na si papa mo’’. Dai akong maginibo. Sige ko sanang hagulhol habang igibo ni papa ang muya niyang gibuhon. Pakatapos ni papa bigla niyang

Kada magkaturog ako iyo pirmi ang naiisip ko. Minsan man dai na akong ganang magkaon.

Hanggang sa nakahalata na sako si mama. Solo ako sa kwarto tapos luminaog siya asin hinapot ako kung may problema ba ako. Dai ko na napugulan su hibi ko. Kinugos ko si mama asin sinabi ko na hiniro ako ni Tiyo Donisio. Kang pakasabi ko kaito bigla bang nagkalintar su talinga ni mama asin sinapak ako.

Dai niya ako igtubudan. Sinabihan niya ako na kung manlain lain daang isturya igibo ko. Sige ko lang na hibi. Nata arog kaito.

Huna ko ako ang susurugon ni mama pero nata mas igkampihan niya si Tiyo Donisio. Pakatapos kang aldaw na ito dai na ako nagluluwas sa kwarto.

Maluwas lang ako kapag mahugas ako kang kamot ko buda makakan.

Sarong aldaw kami sanang tulo na papa buda kang tugang ko ang natada sa harong.

Turog kaito si Marieta. Kami 64

Paka abot ni mama hali sa pagtinda tulos ako buminuhat. Madulok na kuta ako saiya kaso duminiretso siya sa kusina asin nahiling ko duman si Tiyo Donisio iga hadukan si mama.

Kaya palan grabe su pagkampi niya kay Tiyo Donisio ta may relasyon man sinda. Buminalik ako sa kwarto. Pagmati ko buminagsak sako ang langit. Nata kaipuhan ko ini maranasan.

Grabeng pag abuso pero ni saro wara akong mahagadan nin tabang. Tuminuro su luha ko asin kuminua akong papel buda notebook asin suminurat.

“Marieta, pasensiya na kung mahali naman si ate ha. Kung mababasa mo ini muya kong isipon mo na padabaon taka.

Tandaan mo na dai kang sala.

Si mama asin si papa ang nagpabaya. Sinda ang naghugas kamay.”

sinabi sako na dai daa ako magsabi maski kay isay kundi gagadanon niya daa kami ni Marieta. Pakasabi niya kaito luminuwas na siya asin nahiling ko siya nagduman sa lababo ta naghugas ki kamot.

Tulala ako kaito buong hapon. Dai ko aram gigibuhon ko. Muya ko magduman kina lola pero dai ako makaduman ta mahal ang pamasahe na mas lalo pang pinamahal dahil kang pandemyang ini. Dai ko na aram gigibuhon ko. Habo ko na mag istar sa harong ta aram kong mauutro ta mauutro ito pero dai akong maisip na paraan lalo na ta naka quarantine pa asin bako pa normal ang gabos. Grabe ang pasakit na namati ko. Kung dai sana talaga nagadan si ate ko may madudulukan kuta ako ngunyan. Binayaan man kaya tulos ako ni ate. Grabe naman gayod su depresyon niya sa online class kaya kinitil niya man su saiyang buhay.

Huminagulhol si Marieta kang nabasa niya su diary ni ate niya. Dosmil baynte tres na. Duwang taon na nakalip65

Larawang kuha ni Arcel James Cruz

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mga kamot. Naghugas kamay si papa tapos Tiyo Donisio. Pinaluwas ninda na dai niya man hiniro si ate pero ito na sinda ngunyan naga bayad sa laog kang kulungan. Maski anong paghugas ang gibuhon ninda maati man garay sinda. Naghugas kamay si mama. Siya su dinulukan ni ate pero siya man ang naglaag kay ate sa peligro. Ngunyan wara na siya.

Uminiba na duman sa lalake niya pero dai niya mahahali ang digta sa saiyang kamot na maski anong paghugas niya saro siyang maraot asin pabayang ina. Si ate Soledad nagadan. Solo akong namuhay. Sakuyang ighahapot pirmi nata dai ako dinulukan ni ate?

Nata dai siya nagsabi? Nata kinitil niya tulos su buhay niya?

Naghugas kamay man kaya siya?

as puon kang kinitil ni Soledad ang saiyang buhay. Tapos na su pandemya pero natapos man tulos su laban ni Soledad.

Normal kuta ang buhay niya kung dai sana siya naging biktima kang paghahalay kang sakuyang tiyuon buda ama.

Dai siyang madulukan kaito ta kulong kami sa harong ta may pandemya. Sa ngunyan nakakulong na ang sakuyang ama. Ang sakuya man na ina binayaan man kami. Maski anong hugas ki kamot ang gibuhon ninda dai mawawara ang digta sainda. Digta na dai mahahali kang tubig. Digta na naka ukit na sainda. Ang sakuyang ate Soldedad biktima kang pang aabuso. Grabe ang peligro kaito sa luwas kaya pighuna mi na mas ligtas kami sa laog kang harong pero sa laog palan mangyayare ang peligro. Maghugas daa pirmi ki kamot ta nganing mahali ang ati. Pero dai ta maitatanggi na maati man garay ang satong 66

Photo Manipulation by Aron Anastacio

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Kababalaghan

ni Jenelyn B. Borres Ikalawang Gantimpala, Pagsulat ng Dagli Nagising ako.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari.

Bakit ang daming tao sa labas? Bakit nagkakagulo?

Pagtingin ko sa aking relo, bumulagta sa’kin ang oras na alas kwatro.

Ang aga pa.

Dumiretso ako sa kusina upang magluto ng agahan naming pamilya. Itlog, sardinas, sinangag, tinapay, at mainit na kape. ‘Yun! Kumpleto na! Pagkatapos kong magluto, naghugas ako nang mabuti ng aking mga kamay para iwas sakit lalo na’t laganap at nagkalat ang iba’t ibang mikrobyong nagdudulot ng napakaraming karamdaman.

Akmang pupuntahan ko na sana ang aking mga magulang upang tawagin para kumain ngunit ako’y napahinto nang makitang may bago na namang kamot sa aking hita. Pangatlo na ito. Ang isa ay sa aking braso at ang dalawa naman ay sa aking kanang hita. “Nakababahala na ito,” tanging naitugon ko na lamang.

Dali-dali kong tinawag ang bunso naming kapatid upang ipag-bigay alam sa kanya ang natuklasan ko.

“Hala! Lagot na! Ina-asuwang ka talaga! Sino naman kasi ang kakalmot niyan? Unang-una, mag-isa ka lang naman sa kwarto. Pangalawa, wala naman tayong alagang hayop na pwedeng gumawa niyan. Pangatlo, imposible namang kagagawan mo ‘yan sapagkat wala ka namang mahahabang kuko. Ano pa nga ba? Ina-asuwang ka na talaga! Tignan mo o! Kalmot ‘yan gamit ang daliri ng tao!”

Nanindig ang aking balahibo. Tila naging karera ang takbo ng tibok ng aking puso. Hindi ko na alam, wala na akong alam.

“E, hindi nga ako ina-asuwang!” pabulyaw kong sabi.

“Edi don’t,” palitada naman niya sabay irap.

“Nye! Naol nakikita ang kalmot,” dagdag pa niya.

“Nakikita ang kalmot, because?” pabiro kong sambit.

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Bigla siyang sumeryoso.

Nakatatakot. Nagmistulang galit ang kapatid ko.

Bigla siyang pumasok sa kwarto ko…

Nabigla ako. Pagbukas ko ng aking pinto, naro’n siya, umakyat sa aking kama. Nanlilisik ang kaniyang mga mata.

“Naol nakikita ang kalmot ‘di ba? E ang 15B ng PhilHealth hanggang ngayon hindi makita-kita!”

Nabigla ako.

“O, eto! Eto ang mahabang tinidor na gamit mong pang-kamot!

Hunghang! Hindi lamang naalala. Kung hindi ko pa hinalungkat ang kama mo hindi ko pa malalamang hindi ka naman ina-asuwang! Tanga!”

Natawa na lang ako.

“Bili-bili na kayo ng pangkamot, bente bente lang!”

“Kuya, isa sa’kin!”

“Kuya, ako rin, dalawa!”

“Ako rin please! Kating-kati na ‘ko!”

“Hoy isa-isa lang! Pila kayo, pila! Sundin niyo ang protocols. Social distancing, social distancing!”

Ah, kaya naman pala maingay sa labas. Ako nga pala ang nag-imbita kay tatay upang magbenta rito sa aming lugar. Ang sarap kasi sa pakiramdam ng tinitinda niyang hugis tinidor. Hehe.

“Ma, pa, mga mahal kong kapatid! Kakain na tayo! Labas na kayo riyan.”

Ayun nga, wala namang aswang; hindi naman ako ina-asuwang. Nye, naol!

“Pero ang 15B talaga ng PhilHealth, nasa’n kaya?” pabulong kong sabi habang nginunguya ang itlog.

“Ayun! Binulsa na ng PhilHealth! Ngayon ay naghuhugas-kamay sila, sinasabing hindi naman nila binulsa! Mga hangal!” singit ng aking kapatid.

“Anubayan! Galit na galit? Gustong manakit? Emre! Inuutusan kitang patahimikin ang aking bunsong kapatid!” tanging nasabi ko na lamang saka ko pinagpatuloy ang pagkain ng aming agahan.

Photo Manipulation by themepack.me

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DALAWAMPUNG SE

ni Justin Ikalawang Gantimpa

Hindi alintana ang panganib, sa bawat pag-alis at pagbalik.

Na maaaring sa pagsasagip, ay sariling buhay na ang kapalit.

Sila ang makabagong bayani.

Sundalo ng kaligtasan, at pag-asa ng marami.

Ikaw at ako ay kanilang kakampi, sa digmaan na tayo ang magwawagi.

Sandata ay pagsunod sa tama at dapat.

Kalasag ay pag-iwas at pag-iingat.

Sa araw-araw na paghuhugas, pamilya ay naililigtas.

Sa banta ng sakit, tiyak na makakaiwas ng higit.

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EGUNDO O HIGIT PA

n L. Llona ala, Pagsulat ng Tula

Sa loob ng dalawampung segundo, panibagong buhay ang naisalba.

Sa loob ng dalawampung segundo, ating nasuklian ang paghihirap ng iba.

Ang manatiling ligtas ay tunay na mahalaga.

Panatilihin at ugaliin pa.

Kulang ang dalawampung segundo o higit pa, Upang magpasalamat, sa mga bayani ng pandemya.

Habangbuhay kami ay sasaludo, Kayo ang aming bayani.

Kayo ang aming sundalo.

Photo Manipulation by Janes Villea

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w

Laughter After Laughter

by Jenelyn B. Borres Ikalawang Gantimpala, Pagsulat ng Maikling Kwento Severely hampered by waves of the pandemic, she was swept with full despair. She was one of the hundreds of laid-off workers; she was cut to the heart.

She was world-weary; she was bored. Having been stripped away from her dearest work, she now has no activity to navigate. She indulged to so much distress. She would start from scratch, having nothing, having no one. Darkness. Darkness has made her blind. Darkness has crept up the list of her priorities.

Because of her unilluminated soul, someone took control over her. Someone.

As days passed days, she lost her mind, but she did not know how it happened. That "someone" possessed com-

plete access over her. But again, she did not know. She became happy while being sad. She was caught up with the yokes that continuously burdened her. But she did not know. There were turnarounds. The only thing she knew was that she was enjoying the days of gloominess. Yes, she was taking delight with it on the spur of the moment. She loaded her calendar and drained her bank account for meaningless and sinful activities, but she did not know. She vetoed massive opportunities for her good and agreed on wicked schemes she was not aware it was. She has been on edge. She became immoral because of that "someone". She thought that there were no bounds to her deviltry; 72

she thought. As she was preparing another room for a new corpse, she laughed. She then smirked and voiced her complaint, "Why did you try to defeat me? That's what happens to people who are trying to save their lives!"

She washed her knife, and it suddenly turned red. She again laughed; this time, she laughed her heart out, all out.

There were already ninety-six corpses beside her. Just ninety-six. Far lesser from her last month's captive. She did not know that things would be this awful to her. She did not expect.

She was happy for minutes but abruptly, her thoughts changed her mood; she was bombarded with the idea of there was not a thing for her to hold back her furious rage. She then contracted her lips into a frown and said,

"What have I got to be proud of?

Someone's having eight hundred forty-three and I only got ninety-seven!" She went upstairs where the ninety-six corpses were and there she tried to think all the junk that was a mile-long she was not able to reconcile with the day before. There she gone wild and threw all the things she was able to grab ahold of.

As she was stretching her arm toward the pocketknife adjacent to her right, she made sure that she's being unnoticed.

Still having her eyes left closed, she meticulously untied the knot around her hands while her own blood is dyeing her pale-colored dress that matched with her bold-red denim jacket. She washed her hair with water. It became red. The next thing she did was she disengaged all the 73

turned red. For the first time, she laughed. She laughed her heart out, all out.

"At last, I am able to get rid of my futile mother. Pretending to have no responsibility, huh?

Acting like you have no daughter to take care of, huh? You had the chance to take into consideration all the opportunities the universe gave you! What did you do? You let it all waste away!

You thought that having corpses that are littered upstairs an achievement? You fool! That's what happens to people who let evil rule over their lives! Now, I am going to find a mother of my taste! Someone who will warrant me a desirable life, someone who is responsible and is not easily robbed of her individuality!"

She laughed and suddenly… someone also laughed.

lanyards attached to her body.

Making no sound, she headed upstairs, unrushed. "I endeavored to defeat you. I tried to fight for myself. I just waited for an opportune time while pretending I was not part of that ninety-seven corpses. So long as you are completely deceived, there I vowed to come roaring back. Now, get a taste of what you tirelessly do!"

She immensely stabbed and endlessly stomped her hopeless mother while she was uprightly positioned on the floor, assailed with ache and racked with much pain. "One, two, three...ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven!" She counted while pointing her index finger to her mother as she cited the last number. "We switched places. I did not know."

She washed her mother's dress and it turned red. Everything 74

v

Graphics by Maedhyne Alim

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Cleansing

by France Angelette Grageda Ikatlong Gantimpala, Pagsulat ng Tula

We heard it since last year, It created extreme fear, Deaths that made us tear, And our health care is on rear, Heath sector encourage cleansing, The only thing that we are clinging, Obligated to protect our being, People doubt if the government is caring, Hand washing and social distancing, No one seems to be protesting, Single way the vulnerable worth protecting, Yet many leaders are pretending, Pretending to be pious, To be conscious, Giving consensus, And help that is continuous.

Yet before hand washing is the norm, They always did it since before, By any shape and form, They are the only ones can high soar, It got worse during pandemic, A haywire within economic, Employment became problematic, People starve in an automatic, Photo Manipulation by Media Stock

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The past they say there is no virus yet, Trusting the dog without even fret, Letting in couriers and made the country a nest, All of them walking without suspect, Now many died because of their neglect, They say the people connected direct, Though the money they indeed collect, It never had the chance of people to connect, Corruption got even worse, Our country’s everlasting curse, Followers of the scarlet hound, Burning our fatherland into the ground.

People of the country washes their hands often, Especially if the crimes are then forgotten, With their intentions that are rotten, All the taxpayer’s money was taken, Grasping the benefits of all as token, Blood running down the sink, Flushed by the water and its stink, Though its hard to remove as ink, Yet we are manipulated not to think, Is it the virus being washed away?

Or the crimes being brushed off as okey?

They are stealing our health care today, When will the people realize of what it convey?

The truth being watered down, The voices they all drown, This should be given a frown, Yet we are deceived of its small town.

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We must open our eyes for the truth and reality, We are being sold to others and erase our identity, This will not help our own equity, We are our very own entity.

We are in the sewers of our country, Being flooded by the bloody water for almost eternity, Made to believe that this is for prosperity, No clean water to encourage our ability.

When will we all wake up in this nightmare?

They are cleansing our mind as if they care, We are being chased like a hunted hare, How long would we really bare?

We aren’t even free, We are imprisoned by all these taxes and fee, There is no future that I can see, If you and I get manipulated and treated as flee, Juan is a tough man you saw, But now he’s on his knees and pecked by a crow, He is in tears as he’s dying slow, Is this what you want your future kids to know?

Is the cleansing really is to clean?

What does it really mean?

Is it for the people of this country?

Or the greed of those who are power hungry?

Only you and I know the answer, We all have the power, We can face this together, And make our struggles be lighter.

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Illustration by Frances Bitancur

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PASASALAMAT

K

ung ikukumpara sa paghuhugas ng kamay, lubhang kulang ang dalawampung segundo upang buuin itong Talaan. Gayundin ang dalawang kamay upang isulat at iguhit ang higit sa dalawampung akda’t debuho.

Ang bahaging ito ay handog sa mga malikhaing isip at kamay na binigyang buhay ang mga nakalipas na pahina. Sa mga manunulat at graphic artist sa loob at labas ng publikasyon na ibinahagi ang kanilang oras at talento sa pagsasakatuparan nito, maraming salamat.

Hanggang sa susunod na Talaan na ating pupunan ng kulay at letra.

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The Official Student Publication of

Bicol University College of Business, Economics, and Management PROBE. WRITE. EXPRESS.