The Beast - April 2023

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Playing the Ball

Words James Hutton, Publisher

Welcome to the April 2023 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s diverse beaches of the east. WorldPride brought an awesome vibe to our area in March, and I’m sure it must have provided a bloody good boost to the local economy too.

A big thanks to Bronte artist James Robinson for this month’s cover piece. I’ve known Robbo for a while now and he’s one of the nicest blokes you’ll ever meet, a very generous and highly respected bloke around these parts. I should add that he’s also pretty handy on a surfboard, where he spends the bulk of his free time! You can see more of his work by visiting boundbysea.com.au.

Local footy kicks off in April, and the Beasties from Easts Rugby will be starting their season with a big home game against Eastwood at Woollahra Oval on Saturday, April 1. The club is pro-

moting the upcoming season of home games as events for all ages and they’ve gone all out and hired a jumping castle and professional face painter so the kids can run riot. For more information, and to purchase tickets, please visit eastsrugby.com.au.

As per usual, we’ve got a bumper edition packed full of letters to the editor, local news articles, the musings of our regular columnists and all the rest. We received a large volume of letters this month, and Jez (Headnoise) and Nat (The Unreliable Guide) have kindly given up their spots for a month so I could fit them all in.

As expected, the bulk of the letters to the editor this month relate to the upcoming state election on March 25, by which time this edition of The Beast will have been delivered, just. For the record, in the interest of objectivity I published every letter that we received relating to the election, rather than pick and choose which ones to include.

There is some very interesting political discourse contained

therein. Promisingly, the general focus is on policy issues rather than personal attacks on the candidates. Politicians are easy targets when things don’t fall our way, but we are very fortunate here to have accomplished, ethical and highly qualified people vying for the various roles. Needless to say, this one is going to be very interesting so be sure to make your vote count.

Cheers, James

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L I V E

The Eastern Beaches' Latest Must-Have Accoutrement

Summer is behind us, but there’s still ample time for Pearl to address the burning issue of beach cabanas. Although I am not a fan of the cabana, it is not my place to pass judgement on whether these cumbersome contraptions need to be banned - that’s a job for the local councils, and ultimately the lifeguards will be burdened with the unenviable task of cabana control. However, as the former self-appointed COVID ambassador turned self-declared minor celebrity, Pearl feels that it is her role to weigh in on the issue, examining the cabana phenomenon and providing much-needed guidance to those who have difficulties in adhering to the social niceties of life.

On the surface, the cabana may appear to be an intrusive gazebo causing division on the crowded sands of our most popular beaches. But, like the issue of unleashed dogs, the cabana is yet again a reflection of an affluent yet bored society with way too much money and time on its hands.

It is not the aesthetics of the cabana-collective that offends Pearl. In fact, nothing can rival the absolute ugliness of the vile developments that have invaded Sydney. Rather, it’s what the cabana representssprawl and largesse. Until the early 2000s, the populace had survived summers with the portable, inoffensive beach umbrella, an adequate shelter until transformed by the southerlies

into lethal javelins. Then, as our beaches became increasingly overcrowded, the need for a more aggressive and intrusive form of shelter was required, in the shape of a blue domed tent. Just as sedans have evolved into SUVs and metal-trayed utilities have morphed into ultra-massive vehicles (as Crikey points out, Australia must be the land of small penises judging by our vehicle preferences) and our homes into multi-roomed luxury abodes, the umbrella has transformed into the cabana, which will eventually evolve into a thatched hut requiring the pulling power of an electrified beach cart.

Not only is the cabana a reflection of the affluent human condition, it is also an ominous symbol of global warming. With rising temperatures, less natural shade and the highest melanoma rates in the world, beachside Australia can be a dangerous place in summer. The irony is that the very people who are erecting large luxury beach cabanas in the pursuit of shade are usually the same thoughtless people whose lifestyles contribute to climate change, arriving in troops of SUVs, leaving the engines running as they unpack the contents of the car boot into the mandatory beach cart.

Our decisions impact the world at large, and the way we choose to live means we are destined to need massive shade covers over the beaches, public pools and our children’s sporting fields. The $400 “shade means style” cabana may be the “must-have accoutrement” that takes one’s beach trip to the “next level” while also inducing “cabana envy”, but stop and think before you assemble your ocean retreat and ask the question - which of my actions are causing the earth to warm and my children’s skin to fry?

Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Mel Anoma

Good luck finding a spot.

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag

Words The Informed People of the Eastern Beaches

Coogee Beer Prices

Hello - I am writing to you to feature in your letters segment in The Beast. My topic of discussion is a recent robbery that took place at the Coogee Palace, or as some may call it, the Coogee Pavilion (aka Justin Hemmes’ empire).

I was down for a quiet Sunday dinner and a few drinks with my partner. I went to order a modest schooner of Stone & Wood and an Aperol Spritz but, before I could even touch my luscious lips onto said drinks, was robbed of the outrageous amount of $37 for the two beverages! $37 bloody dollars!! For two drinks!!!

Shocked by this, I went and downed said drinks in record time, then went back to order two more, before promptly leaving the venue for the more affordable Coogee Legion Club, which was offering $17 for a schooner and an Aperol - less than half the price! Big props to the Coogee Legion Club.

Snag (enraged local)

Coogee

Response to Beach Wagon Bruce

It must be devastating for you when you go to the beach trying to walk and negotiating the wheel ruts of these wagons destroying the natural beauty of the beach, Bruce (Beach Wagons at Congwong are CongWrong, Letters, The Beast, February 2023).

The last time I looked I saw four to eight people weighing approximately 60-90 kilos jumping over half a metre into the air hitting a ball over a net landing in the same area for hours on end - gee, that never disturbed the sand surface.

I even saw children building sand castles and digging holes in the sand. We must stop these

children, volleyball players and wagon pullers from having fun, just in case they may disturb the sand surface! Get a life, Bruce.

David Coogee

Plain Package Pokies

Here’s a thought... plain packaging worked in lowering cigarette consumption, why not plain package pokies? Silence the jingles, turn off the fairy lights, make them as boring as possible. Just as plain packaging helped make smoking unglamorous, it might make pokies uninteresting and less addictive, and affects no one’s rights.

John Acton Bronte

The Pointy End of the Patriarchy

The deal had been done, the DA approved to knock down 600 trees on the Royal Sydney Golf Course for an ‘International Golf Course’ and all that was left was an Extraordinary Meeting to approve the funds. I knew it was going to be approved but we couldn’t allow the animals to be made homeless without a fight, so a handful of us fronted up to the International Convention Centre at Darling Harbour with a pile of leaflets mentioning things like canopy, critters, climate change - you know the deal.

I want to attempt to describe the barrage of nastiness we were met with by both the club members and the ICC security who clearly had been primed (but that’s another story). You could easily spot the members as they walked along the long corridor mixed in with random punters. They were mostly male, 100 per cent caucasian, all in the 50-70

year age bracket, almost all wearing a navy blazer, beige trousers, pale blue business shirt, grey hair, plain shoes and devoid of a sense of humour.

Mostly they reacted with annoyance at my polite attempts that they consider another viewpoint by hurling the flyer away, muttering in disgust, peeved that anyone would dare to question their right to do as they please on the land they consider their own. They clearly have no understanding of the concept of ‘custodians of the land’ or freedom of speech for that matter.

I am not normally easily intimidated, but I have never been so aware of white male privilege (the entry fee into this exclusive club is about as much as most people would earn in a year). I have worked on stalls on election days for decades and never have I encountered such vehement rudeness and aggression.

So, I’m sorry to say the animals, insects, reptiles and birds will all be homeless, including many endangered ones. There will be a ton of Roundup as part of the plan, which will wash into the sea and damage the sea grass and endangered seahorses, and the Eastern Suburbs - and indeed Sydney - will lose those 600 beautiful majestic trees. Nothing can replace a mature tree. This is an unimaginable and tragic loss.

Nicolette Boaz Bondi

Disability Ignorance

Just wanted to have a rant on behalf of my brave daughter who worked up the courage to go for a swim at Ross Jones pool at the south end of Coogee on Sunday morning. Four months ago she suffered from a bleed on her brain causing a stroke which has left her with some deficits which don’t include intellectual disability. Unfortunately, as she was navigating the stairs after her first swim since the incident, a (probably well-meaning) passerby drew even more attention to her by saying in a loud voice to people walking down the stairs, “move... she is very disabled.” Can people say nothing or just be kind in future, please?

Anonymous Randwick

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The Kindness of Others

Hi The Beast - My topic is the kindness of others, and after my experience last Wednesday I thought this might just be a good news story in this busy world that we live in.

I was walking home from work last Wednesday, February 1, which is something I do not often do, as I usually drive. My car was getting new tyres that day so my feet were my ride home.

On the way, unfortunately my head connected with a tree branch just along from South Coogee Cemetery, which actually did hurt a bit and managed to produce quite a lot of my O-positive for a period of several minutes. However, I was so very lucky that on this day a lovely woman called Emilia was walking towards me when this happened and she so kindly stopped to help me and waited with me while I contacted my husband to come and pick me up.

Although I thanked her at the time, I just want to again thank you Emilia and acknowledge your kindness and for stopping to help me, and just want you to know I was fine once I got home and cleaned up, and the cut thankfully did not require stitching. When I think back, it could have been so much worse and I am just so grateful you stopped to help me. So, if you or anyone you know is reading this, I just want to again thank you and just remind us all that there are always those moments in our lives when we think we are okay and ‘we’ve got this’ but just maybe we haven’t. So, thank you Emilia for being there for me just in that moment! My best wishes to you always.

Nicole Maroubra

My Humble Opinion

G’day Beast team - Just a quick note to say ‘love your work’ as always. Good on you for providing equal air time in the previous month’s publication to the rival candidates for the Coogee state electorate. With councils, federal and now state, we have had a lot of bloody elections in the last 18 months. But that’s democracy, hey.

Just sharing my view about the state election and why your vote and my vote matters this time

round. I’ve been lucky enough to talk to, and get help from, the local MP Marjorie over recent times. I’ll use the word ‘lucky’ again - we are lucky to have such a hard working local MP. A local rep like Marjorie only comes along once every so often.

What I think the difference is that Marjorie provides compared to other candidates and politicians, three words: genuine, caring and passionate! A lot of the pollies come and go, and many of them - most perhaps - just fit the cookie cutter career pollie mode. They want to be a pollie because they want to get the cushy seat in parliament and strut their stuff before their party powerbrokers and retire with the plum diplomatic job. No disrespect to other candidates running in this election, but notable ones fit that mold. That’s why we only hear from them a few weeks before polling day.

Not Marj, she’s a true local, not a blow-in. She’s shown through her efforts in the most challenging times that she’s more than up to the job. She’s a fighter who loves the East and our community. And she is passionate! I love the fact this isn’t a ‘job’ for Marj, it’s a vocation. Marj for Coogee again!

Kate McNamara Bondi Junction

A New Liberal Candidate

Dear James - I came home today to find my corner plastered with billboards promoting the new Liberal candidate for the seat of Coogee. A speech pathologist up against a Doctor of Economics; a seemingly unknown up against a sitting member who is completely immersed in and supportive of every single organisation, school, church, mosque, synagogue, hospital, Tafe, university, sporting organisation and individual within our electorate; a mother of three up against a single woman who we selfishly acknowledge gives us her time and energy 24/7; to a relatively unknown up against a sitting member whose Clovelly family members have devoted themselves to activism within our community for decades and continue to do so.

Our sitting member, Dr. Marjorie O’Neill, is working tirelessly to have our once great public transport system reinstated since

it was so brazenly axed by our State Liberal Government, despite the many protests organised by our member, and the various Liberal Premiers and Ministers for Transport ignoring her invitations to attend. Yet when I read what this Liberal candidate stands for, unbelievably it’s “better public transport”. Something doesn’t add up!

The Liberals destroyed it and Marjorie has never stopped taking steps to restore it! Talk about hypocrisy! In the words of past Liberal Premier Nick Greiner, “Never let anyone interfere with the public transport in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney as it can’t be bettered.” Yet it is his very same Liberal Party that axed it!

Pancho Coogee

Keep Marj in Charge

Hey guys - Thanks for your witty little mag, so good to see it continuing on for so many years, even through the hard times. Always good for a laugh! Speaking of a laugh, I read the article from Kylie the local Liberal last time round (Let’s Keep Coogee Moving Forward, Kylie’s Campaign, The Beast, March 2023).

Now, I’m not one to be unkind to a fellow citizen, so won’t be unkind here, but I have to laugh, because ‘good luck Kylie’ in running in Coogee for the Libs. This area is characterised by our easy-going nature, our relaxed and tolerant social views, our care for the environment and our valuing of diversity. No matter what Kylie’s personal views are on anything, these are not the views and attitudes shared by the current version of the ‘Liberal’ party.

Ultimately, ‘Team Liberal’held to ransom by the Nationals and far right religious conservatives in their own ranks - doesn’t reflect the values nor care about the issues we care about here in Coogee.

Kylie, unfortunately for her, represents the party that denies climate change; the party that does not value our LGBTIQA+ members of the community; the party that is currently trying to sabotage an Aboriginal Voice to Parliament; the party that only gives out emergency funding to disaster victims if there’s a vote in

it for them; the party that thinks it’s okay in NSW to send the recently retired Nationals leader off on a $500,000 per year job for life in New York City!

Well, it’s looking like the people of NSW have had enough of this mob and will follow the lead of the folks here in Coogee who already threw them out from this area four years ago. We’re a smart mob out here in the East, ahead of the game. NSW: take Coogee’s lead! Here in Coogee it’s got to be Marjorie.

Harry, UNSW resident student

Young People: Make Your Voices Heard

Does it seem at odds with progress that the power brokers in government are the ones that are closer to retirement age and therefore are reaping the benefits of investment properties, super tax breaks, etc. at the expense of the younger generation?

Why are younger people not making a stand against this intergenerational wealth divide? It seems like people are shamed into buying properties at exorbitant prices (by comparative world standards) and may now be trapped in negative equity as a result of just trying to buy their first home in desperate circumstances such as the lure of low 2020/21 interest rates, that now they are suffering as a result of wildly high prices that the older generation have no incentive to change?

Make a change, young people, your voices should be heard.

KK Bondi Beach

Careful Corflutes

I notice that Kellie Sloane, the new Liberal candidate for Vaucluse, hoping to replace the retiring member Gabrielle Upton is now visable in Bondi on a number of poles. It is noticeable, however the posters primarily only state Kellie’s name and that of Vaucluse.

The Liberal Party’s name is almost unreadable, it’s in such small print. This would suggest to me that Kellie is not as proud of her brand as perhaps she should be. Maybe it’s her training as a journalist reading the views of the electorate.

David Boyd

Bondi Beach

Captain Cook Statue Posters

It is one thing for political candidates to place posters on poles, fences and so on - we can live with that. It is another thing to deface public monuments with posters, as has happened with the Liberal posters for their Coogee candidate adorning the Captain Cook statue at Randwick.

This is at a time when some advocate that statues of historical figures, such as Cook, be removed because of their negative connotations. On the other hand, authorities attempt to balance that view against the idea that they are historic and heritage items that should be left as reminders of our past.

If they are used as billboards, then how can one complain, say, when someone else paints graffiti on them?

Paul Convy Coogee

Getting the Job Done

Hi Beast team - For four years now I’ve always enjoyed picking up The Beast each month and reading the interesting views and latest news, and I like the fact I get a monthly insight from our local member Marjorie O’Neill.

One of the best things Marjorie did for our community was keep the information flow going during COVID, a major disruption to the last four years of my family’s life. I was interested in opening the mag for last month’s edition to see an article by the state Liberal challenger for the local area, Kylie Von Muenster.

I’m sure Kylie’s a nice person, and good on her for having a go, but I’m a bit miffed we haven’t heard anything from her for years (or ever really) about anything going on in the Eastern Suburbs until four weeks before polling day. I note Kylie reckons she has a “strong voice” as it says so on all her brochures - funny that, seems like a copy of another candidate’s campaign slogan.

I’m not really sure what Kylie stands for, and with no track record out campaigning for community causes I have a bit of doubt about how effective she can be. Especially in the “pale, male and stale” boys club of the right wing of the Liberals.

Our current MP Marjorie knows

the ropes in Macquarie Street, has stood up for us with a genuine strong voice and made some big gains for the area in health services and in fighting cuts to our bus services.

From a local perspective as a swinging voter, and with COVID in the rear view mirror, I feel the need for a forward-looking candidate with a progressive philosophy. I’m very happy with the job Marjorie is doing for us in the Eastern Suburbs and the seat of Coogee and I’ll be sticking with Marj for sure this time round.

At least we know Marj will write a column in The Beast every month, and not just one token piece before an election!

Sam

Clovelly Doing the Hard Work

Dear Sir - I am not normally one to write letters to the editor of news publications, however as a lifelong resident of Randwick and a current volunteer at the Children’s Hospital, I would like to venture my opinion about the upcoming election with regard to the electorate of Coogee here in the middle of The Beast’s circulation area.

While I’m very pleased to see two female candidates running for Labor and the Liberals - and I wish both ladies well - I would like to share some experiences of my encounters with our current MP Dr Marjorie O’Neill, before and during COVID.

Before the pandemic I had been involved in the local campaign to save the children’s cardiac services at the hospital, which the State Liberal Government has repeatedly attempted to cut. During a local community campaign led by clinicians, nurses and grassroots citizens, Marjorie was always there fighting side by side with the campaign and providing a very effective voice for us all in Parliament to have the cuts overturned - or at least delayed until the Liberals try again. In my opinion, having Marjorie in State Parliament is our best hope of always standing up and rallying people against such unethical cuts. I am simply not convinced that, as a Liberal backbencher subject to the control of the old boys club of Liberal powerbrokers, Kylie would

be anywhere near as effective - she would be told to “keep quiet and toe the party line”.

My further experience with Marjorie was during COVID when we were all locked down, cut off from our communities, unable to see our sick or elderly residents and getting conflicting news reports about the pandemic that led to confusion and uncertainty. Marjorie and the team in her office worked tirelessly to get information out to the community, including those in the health care community itself, to ensure everyone knew the state of play and what we had to do to keep everyone safe.

I can attest to the fact that, at her own personal risk and while staying within the ever-changing rules, Marjorie would be out there as long as permitted, masked up, meeting people, ensuring as best she could that people were not totally socially isolated. Marjorie and her team arranged grocery deliveries to the elderly, ensured the frail could access medical services and care, supported outreach services for youth and mental health, and many other examples. When an elderly family friend of mine passed during COVID, Marjorie was personally on the phone to the family and before they passed did all that she could to make their last days comfortable.

Marjorie has been a very hard working MP who has shown genuine care and attention for our local community. I have just listed some examples in health care and I know those working or volunteering in other areas such as education, local sporting groups and the environment will have similar examples.

I wish all candidates well but I am very proud to have Marjorie as our local MP and I hope that we have her as our local representative into the future.

Mrs Elsa Rostram Randwick

Politics

I used to love The Beast when it was a political free zone and I would prefer to leave it there. I have yet to read a view of readers from the centre and with an impending state election would urge readers to question some of the sweeping assertions made by our

incumbent member.

Her main complaints about the current Government are: the health service has been starved of funds; there is a massive shortage of nurses because they are underpaid; the bus service is totally inadequate; the ocean is polluted.

I would suggest that any Randwick resident can see the massive investment taking place at Prince of Wales Hospital and we will have the foremost health facilities in the state on our door step. I think the shortage of nurses is more about availability than pay, but remember the opposition mantra is all about pay so they do not want to spoil a story.

I do not have a car and only use public transport (I have never seen Marjorie on a bus) and can assure you that services have not deteriorated in the last few years, in fact they have improved, and the light rail is excellent.

Finally, I was assured by Marjorie at the last election that she would personally do something about the pollution of the ocean. I am still waiting to see what.

The State of NSW has enormous infrastructure projects under construction and anyone who would prefer to live elsewhere might like to explain why.

David Harrison Coogee

Dom and the NSW Liberals I just wanted to mention some broken promises of Dominic Perrottet and the NSW Liberals which I think highlight why they can’t be trusted. The major one was ‘no more privatisations’, made by Gladys prior to the 2019 election. As we know, Gladys got elected and straight away her treasurer Dominic went to work on drafting a plan to sell off the pine division of NSW State Forests - a crucial state asset that is recreationally used by the public, and also a crucial refuge for the homeless as camping is free and unlimited. I really doubt the new owners would be happy that the public can camp or ride motorbikes throughout the plantations.

To not gain a mandate from the public for such a sell-off I think is criminal, especially when a promise was made not to privatise any more public assets. The one good thing that came out of the

bushfires was that the sale had to be stopped.

Other public services that were handed over to corporate interests despite the promise was the government’s share in WestConnex (monopolising the toll network) and many bus routes across Sydney. Yes, more broken promises were made around the road map to COVID recovery. Three times vaccinated regional travel was denied despite reaching the promised vaccination rates. Dominic basically gave in to the nervous Nationals for the exact same reason he was criticising the Queensland Premier for.

Dom also claimed he was being “cautious” but in the same breath he was trying to abolish international quarantine. So, international travellers could come to Sydney, no dramas, but we couldn’t travel outside of the Sydney Basin. There was a time where the vaccinated were allowed to travel to Victoria but you weren’t allowed to drive to the Blue Mountains.

I get that no government response was ever going to be perfect in a pandemic, but these were obvious inconsistencies coupled with consistent broken promises.

Anthony Bosch Bondi

In Response to Johnny Marauder

Dear Beast - I wasn’t sure how to take Johnny Marauder’s letter with regard to banning beach cabanas on Waverley Beaches (Ban Beach Shade, Now! Letters, The Beast, March 2023). Was he being facetious, or is he truly of this opinion?

He quite heartlessly asked in his letter, “How many people die from foot and shin Melanoma anyhow?” which clearly shows he, like most Australians, have no concept of the dangers of the sun and how melanoma progresses.

It doesn’t matter where a Melanoma starts - shin, foot or back, as in my case - it can spread to other parts of the body and kill you. In my case it spread right throughout my bones and I was diagnosed as Stage IV with a prognosis of 12-24 months. Thankfully, I was one of the 50 per cent of advanced melanoma patients who responded to immunotherapy treatment and I am now four years clear. I was lucky.

Here are the facts: more people die from Melanoma than die on our roads; every six hours someone dies from melanoma; melanoma is the third most commonly diagnosed cancer in Australia (excluding other skin cancers); melanoma is the most common cancer affecting 20 to 39-yearolds; Australia has the highest incidence rate of melanoma in the world, circa 8.7 times the global average.

Skin cancer and melanoma (the deadliest form) is a huge problem in Australia. The fact that there has been so much complaint about the new trend of beach cabanas highlights how entrenched being a ‘bronzed Aussie’ is in our culture. We should be applauding the fact that people are protecting themselves from the sun.

I ask this of Johnny Marauder: are you the type of person who would encourage a friend not to take safety precautions when driving in a car, like wearing a seatbelt or travelling at a safe speed? If not, then don’t discourage people from taking safety precautions when in the sun, as they have

more chance of dying from melanoma than they do from dying in a car accident.

Anne Gately Coogee

Entitled Dog Owners of Waverley

Hi - Not sure if this hot topic has been covered. I have worked in the Randwick area in pharmacy for over four years and recently started working in another pharmacy in Waverley. I am shocked how, within a few blocks of my previous job to my current job, dog owners’ attitudes are - totally entitled!

Last week I had a customer walk straight into the pharmacy with his border collie who instantly jumped up and placed its paws on the counter. The owner didn’t even flinch. I interrupted my colleague and asked him could he please tie his dog up outside? Well, he took offence and turned on his heel and stormed off, stating that he was taking his business elsewhere.

We are a medical setting. We have customers with mental health issues, serious medical issues, the

elderly and little children, and this dog owner gets upset at my request. Our own pharmacist has a fear of dogs. Up and down the street I am seeing this happening. Dogs in Vinnies charity store, dogs in the Waverley QE Supermarket... I had a dog jump on my leg at Woolworths at the checkout the other day while I was being served. The owner continued talking on the phone and didn’t bat an eyelid. But the worst part of this saga is ‘Violet’, a long-time customer unbeknownst to me whose dog did its business at the counter, and she walked out and left it on the floor in all its stinking glory. I chased her up the street and her response was, “I don’t have a bag!” Well, this must just be an Eastern Surburbs thing, so entitled.

Amanda Pickstone Clovelly ¢

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb. We try and publish as many as possible, but nothing too crazy please.

Randwick Girls' High School

Randwick Girls' High School is the only public non-fee paying single sex girls' comprehensive school in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs.

We are an innovative educational community specialising in girls' education, with a commitment to...

• Empowering young women to be tomorrow's leaders

• Supporting female students to achieve their personal best in education

• Offering the widest possible range of innovative curricular and co-curricular programs

• Underpinning learning with an exceptional wellbeing program targeted at girls

• Providing highly qualified and dedicated staff who possess a broad base of expertise

• Nurturing a love of learning in an academic rich learning environment

• Providing educational opportunities in STEM and vocational education

Small group tours with the principal or an executive staff member are held every week. You can contact us to arrange a private tour and gain an insight into the diverse curriculum and opportunities on offer at our school, and meet our students and staff.

Some of our outstanding 2022 HSC results include...

• 2nd in the state in Swedish

• 3rd in the state in Korean

• 4th in the state in Chinese Continuers

• 76 Band 6s and E4s

• 4 Design & Technology nominations

• 2 Visual Arts selections to Art Express

• 2 Music 1 Nominations

• 6 Dance Nominations

Local Artist... James Robinson from Bronte

Bronte’s James Robinson is the Art Director at Surfing NSW and the talent behind Bound by Sea, handshaped and illustrated Alaias and Paipos inspired by the ocean. Robbo shares his local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here? 51 years. I grew up in Clovelly and Bronte. It’s home, I love it, and I have surfed Bronte since I can remember. It’s a great community, like a country town, it’s beautiful.

What's your favourite eatery? Wet Paint has always been our favourite. The food is amazing. But they do have to bring back the lemon meringue pie.

Where do you like to have a drink? The Nelson Hotel in Bondi Junction is easily my favourite pub. It has stayed true to what a pub should be - cold beer, great staff, amazing food, a place to catch up or run into old friends.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? We’ve seen a lot of change - some good, some bad - but the one thing that has remained constant is the sense of community. I love being part of Bronte Boardriders, a true community club.

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Overdevelopment. Just because you can, doesn’t make it right. But we still have a voice, and Bronte Surf Club is a great example of that. The first round of designs got a big ‛no’ from the local community. We came together and voiced our concerns and disappointment, and it looks like our voice was heard, commonsense should prevail, and hopefully we will get something that fits the space, the environment and the community’s needs, because it should be a community space, not just a private club for one small group of people.

How would you describe your art? My artwork has one common theme, the ocean, and it is central to my world. I build all my own wooden paddles and boards from sustainable or recycled materials, then hand draw the artwork into the fibres of the wood using a technique called ‘pyrography’. I also work with ink on bristol, and I’m known for the ‘Captains’ series (I bring at least one or two out each year).

Where can people see your work? A lot of my work is commissioned. Up until COVID I was showcasing my art with at least 2-3 shows each year locally (something I hope to return to). Most of my artwork goes overseas and I am a featured artist in Wy’s Galleries in Haleiwa, Hawaii. My website is the best place to view past and current pieces - www.boundbysea.com.au.

Who are your artistic inspirations? Surf/skate culture, Ben Brown, Jim & Jimbo Philips, Ben Ogden, Rocking Jellybean, Ken Taylor, Travis Price, VC Johnson, Aaron Horkey and many more.

What are you working on at the moment? I am working on 9-10 pieces for Wy’s Galleries and heading over mid-year to showcase this work.

Do you have any exhibitions coming up? Nothing in the works locally for Bound by Sea, but it is early in the year, so who knows? I am the curator of the Sydney MOSS Foundation Skate Artshow, something I’m super proud to be a part of. 100 artists will be given a blank skateboard to work their magic. We host a night at AMBUSH Gallery, Waterloo, in August and each of the decks are auctioned off and all funds raised go to building and supporting clean water systems in Eswatini, Africa. Check out www.mosswater.org.

Any other local artists to look out for? Caleb Reid, he is an amazing artist.

Did you study art? Only at high school. I did an Associate Diploma in Graphic Design after year 12 but learnt most of my skills on the job. I was lucky enough at my first job to work alongside Cavan Lenagan, an Art Director for many of the biggest magazines locally and globally.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Books - study the best in the business, these are your guides and your bibles. And practice - art is basically a muscle memory skill, the more you draw the better you get.

Who is your favourite person? My wife Row and my daughters. They are my support crew, they encourage me, inspire me, and I couldn’t do it without them.

What do you get up to on the weekends? Surf as much as possible, family time and art.

Do you have a favourite quote? “There are no mistakes in art - what you see as a mistake, someone might see as beauty.”Eva, my school art teacher.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Life is short, tick off everything on your bucket list, what are you waiting for?

Interview James Hutton

Photo Andrew Robinson

Robbo on the tools.

St Margaret Mary's Catholic Primary School

Randwick North

Welcoming New Students

At St Margaret Mary’s Catholic Primary School Randwick North, we recognise that children follow unique learning paths to accomplish their personal best. Our academic and co-curricular programs empower students to try new things, while our community engagement and resilience programs build confidence, social skills and emotional wellbeing.

Our sense of community is what makes us different. Working together with families, teachers and students is an essential part of our school’s success. Fostering creativity and nurturing the wellbeing of all our children plays a vital part in their learning success.

We are now taking enrolments for all grades from Kindergarten to Year 6

Please come along to our Open Day on Saturday, March 25 from 10-11.30am or contact us to arrange a private tour

Please scan the QR code to register contact us today

Telephone 02 9389 6093

Email info@stmmrandwick.catholic.edu.au

"We are really happy with the individual care and attention our children receive at St Margaret Mary's. It's a small school with a big heart!"

Gerard & Carla, Clovelly

Lurline Bay Staircase Reopens

Words Anthony Maguire

A Really Good Reason to Run

On Sunday, May 21, thousands of people will be taking on the HOKA Runaway Sydney Half Marathon (formerly SMH Half Marathon), and there’ll be one very special team among themRunning for Premature Babies.

The charity was founded 17 years ago after Coogee local Sophie Smith OAM and her late husband Ash lost all three of their baby triplets to prematurity. Determined that something good would come from the lives of Henry, Jasper and Evan, the couple ran the SMH Half Marathon to fundraise for a new humidicrib. Fast forward 17 years and Sophie is still running - alongside hundreds of others - for a better chance of survival and quality of life for premature babies.

To date, the charity has raised $6 million and has donated over a hundred pieces of life-saving neonatal equipment to hospitals around Australia, directly benefitting over 8,000 babies.

This year Running for Premature Babies is looking for people to join and experience the team’s amazing race

camaraderie, to raise a few dollars each and cross the finish line knowing their race is about so much more than a finishing time. Whether you’re running for your own prematurely born child - living or lost - or just want a great inspiration to run, everyone is welcome.

With 26,000 babies born prematurely in Australia each year, hospital neonatal units are often in desperate need of new equipment.

“By raising just a few dollars each, we can together make a tangible difference to the lives of so many sick and premature babies,” Running for Premature Babies CEO Gary Trenaman told The Beast.

Sophie will be running the 10 kilometre course with her living sons, Owen and Harvey.

“Please join us! It’s amazing what can be achieved with the right inspiration.”

“And Henry, Jasper and Evan’s little handprints are on the back of our team running singlets; they’ll push you up the hills and over the finish line.”

Please visit runningfor prematurebabies.com/sydney.

A new staircase providing access to Lurline Bay has just reopened after the old steps were damaged in storms last year. Council engineers had declared them out of bounds because they had large cracks and the supporting brick piers had collapsed. The rocky bay near South Coogee can now be accessed from Liguria Street and Seaside Parade.

Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker was one of the first to try out the new staircase. Mayor Parker said he was “very pleased”

Lurline Bay can be easily accessed by the public again.

“Lurline Bay is a beautiful coastal environment and is well used by local residents. It forms part of our stunning Coastal Walkway, which is one of the most popular tourist attractions in Sydney.”

Council is developing longerterm plans for a cantilevered boardwalk around Lurline Bay and public access way between Cuzco Street and Seaside Parade as part of plans for a continuous Coastal Walkway.

Words Hugh Midicrib Photo Mary Thon

Owen and Sophie after the 2019 SMH Half Marathon.

Photo Josh Hay

Mayor Dylan Parker is pleased Lurline Bay is accessible again.

Calls to End Shark Net Program Amplify After Dolphin Death

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Mother Ocean Freediving

Get rid of the shark nets! That’s the message from Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos after a dolphin was caught in the net at Bronte and was killed last month.

Mayor Masselos said she found news of the marine mammal’s death “distressing” and made a good case for a rethink of the shark net program run by the NSW Government.

Baby Given Kiss of Life by Waverley Lifeguards

Waverley Lifeguard and Bondi

Rescue star Anthony ‘Harries’ Carroll proved himself as a genuine hero when he resuscitated an eight-week-old baby boy in the carpark behind Bondi Surf Life Saving Club on New Year’s Day.

A veteran of the service at 46 years of age, Anthony had performed dozens of resuscitations in the past - but never on a baby. The infant had slipped and landed on his head, the trauma was so great that he had stopped breathing. Anthony, while walking back to his North Bondi home after a day on duty, found himself in the middle of the drama. Paramedics had been called and were on the scene only a short time after.

Fellow lifeguards Daniel ‘Beardy’ McLaughlin and Harrison Reid were already on the way with a medical kit and defibrilator. Bending over the lifeless child, Anthony’s training came to the fore as he gently inflated the baby’s lungs.

One breath, two breaths, three breaths… and on the fourth breath he saw the baby’s rib cage expanding. A few more breaths and the boy started crying and grabbed hold of Anthony’s finger. A life was saved.

Police held up sheets to shield the distressing scene from bystanders. After about 20 minutes, the little boy was placed in an ambulance and taken to Sydney Children’s Hospital at Randwick.

“Resuscitating that baby was the highlight of my career,” Anthony told The Beast.

“It was the best feeling ever, seeing him start breathing again. I think it’s really important that people learn resuscitation.”

Anthony grew up in Clovelly and has been a lifeguard for 28 years. He has saved countless lives during his career and is nicknamed ‘Harries’ after the surf break off the back of Clovelly Car Park.

“Waverley Council supports shark management options that minimise or eliminate impacts on marine biodiversity and we are very dissatisfied with shark nets,” Mayor Masselos told The Beast.

The Mayor also explained that other mitigation strategies such as the smart drum lines and drone surveillance introduced last year are vastly superior to shark nets.

The Eastern Beaches shark nets date back to the 1930s. They are 150 metres long and in place at the major ocean beaches including Bondi and Bronte during the summer months.

“They do not provide comprehensive coverage, given that Bondi is a kilometre long and Bronte is 220 metres long,” Mayor Masselos said.

Such a senseless loss of life.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Rod Kerr

Anthony leapt into action to save the stricken baby.

Rd,

Expert Eastern Suburbs property manager

Jillian Wills has just joined the team at Wills Property, a boutique real estate agency based in Bondi Junction. Jillian has managed countless properties in the Eastern Suburbs over a 30-year career, formerly at Wills Brothers.

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The Wills family have been working in property, offering personal client-based service in the Eastern Suburbs since 1934.

PHONE 02 9387 1700

EMAIL jillian@willsproperty.com.au

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Power Issue at Bondi Pavilion Just a Temporary Hiccup

Words Anthony Maguire

Photo Elle Ectric

Waverley Council has had to install a temporary electricity generator at the freshly-renovated Pavilion to cope with additional energy demands.

Safe Space in Coogee to Steer People Away From Suicide

Seven years ago, Alan Earls hit rock bottom. His wife had left him and he was in the grip of a gambling addiction that put him $50,000 in debt. He decided to end it all by crashing his car into another vehicle.

But as he veered over to the opposite side of Parramatta Road and into the path of an oncoming car, he decided he didn’t want to die after all.

“I ended up just clipping the other car, going into a spin and slamming into the kerb,” he told The Beast.

Mr Earls sought help through Bondi-based Jewish House and the Salvation Army. Slowly, he started to turn his life around. Today, 48-year-old Alan, who (perhaps ironically) was employed as a financial adviser when he reached his gambling-fuelled nadir, dedicates his life to helping others suffering suicidal thoughts and other forms of emotional distress.

After training as a peer support worker, he helped set up safe spaces in Westmead and Summer Hill where people

on the brink could start to turn their lives around. The facilities are staffed by non-clinical volunteer workers who can assist with finding professional help and accessing other resources. And now Mr Earls has founded a safe space in Coogee for Eastern Suburbs residents experiencing suicidal ideation or extreme emotional distress.

Called the Community-Led Safe Space, it starts operating in April out of the Coogee Eastward Senior Citizens Hall in Brook Street. Initially it will be open on Thursday and Friday evenings from 5-9pm.

Mr Earls says presenting at hospital emergency departments can be a daunting experience for many people.

“At safe spaces, we often find that some people just need a chat and access to online resources. If the situation is urgent, we use strategies to keep them safe until they talk to their GP.”

For more information, please visit www.sydneycommunity safespaceinc.org.

The extra energy consumption at the revamped ‘Pav’ was anticipated by Council well before it opened. Ausgrid agreed to build an upgraded substation between the building and Campbell Parade, but it seems the electricity provider hasn’t exactly moved like greased lightning.

“This upgrade was scheduled to have been completed before the building opened in September 2022 but only received Ausgrid approval late last year,” Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos told The Beast

The upgraded substation is expected to be installed by early May 2023. There will then be a brief Ausgrid outage at the Pavilion while power is switched over to the substation.

“It should be noted that the Pavilion’s solar panels provide 70 per cent of the building’s energy needs during the day and the generator runs on renewable diesel fuel,” added Mayor Masselos.

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Dawn Ting

Helping people back from the brink.

The jewel in Bondi's crown.

Waverley Council Update

Mayor's Message

Bondi Bounce

Waverley Council is inviting the community to provide feedback on the five new temporary parklets we’ve installed between Bondi Junction and Bondi Beach as part of the Bondi Bounce Streets as Shared Spaces project The parklets each have their own distinct colour scheme and h elp break up the 3 6 kilometre walk from the Bondi Junction interchange and the beach They are located off Bondi Road and Campbell Parade in Waverley Street, Ocean Street, Watson Street, Boonara Avenue and Wairoa Avenue. They will remain in place for a trial period of six months, and if you have seen or used one these urban ‘mini parks’, we want to hear from you! The Streets as Shared Spaces program aims to pr ovide more and improved public space that improves walkability and connection to quality open, green and public spaces in urban areas, while increasing footfall for local businesses Feedback closes 30 April at haveyoursay waverley nsw gov au/ bondi-bounce.

Register for Bondi Festival Local

Expressions are now open for businesses to register their events for Bondi Festival Local, our annual celebration of local artists, live venues and grassroots organisations within our iconic neighbourhood. Bondi Festival Local is an exciting way for local businesses, organisations and groups to present their very own satellite shows, workshops and events across the Bondi Festival dates. We welcome all submissions from music gigs and author talks to open-mic nights, art exhibitions and everything in between.

Expressions of interest close 11.59pm, Sunday 9 April 2023. For more information, along with the application form, visit https://haveyoursay.waverley.n sw.gov.au/bondifestivallocaleoi

Waverley Local Planning Panel EOI

Council is looking for additional community representatives to be members of the Waverley Local Planning Panel (WLPP). The WLPP is responsible for assessing and determining a range of development applications for Council as required under legislation. Members of the panel receive remuneration for attendance at panel meetings. Applicants must live in the Waverley LGA, have an understanding of the Waverley LGA and issues of concern to the local community, have the capacity to form independent views and to contribute constructively to the

Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au

determination of applications, are able to demonstrate a basic level of understanding of the planning system, are committe d to following the Code of Conduct for Local Planning Panel Members and the Local Planning Panel’s Operational Procedures and attend local planning panel meetings and completing panel business in required timeframes. Existing members of the panel will continue as normal and are not required to submit an expression of interest. Mayors, Councillors, property developers and real estate agents are not eligible for appointment Any questions should be emailed to wlpp@waverley.nsw.gov.au and EOIs can be submitted online at haveyoursay waverley nsw gov au /local-planning-panel Submissions close at 5pm, Wednesday 5 April

Details:

haveyoursay.waverley.nsw.gov.au /local-planning-panel

Bondi Pavilion creatives meet and greet

Join us at our community meet and greet for local creatives at Bondi Pavilion on 28 March from 6–7pm. Network with other local creatives, meet the Pav’s new artistic director Chris Bendall, and learn more about the exciting opportunities ahead for arts and culture programs. Register now at:events.humanitix.com/waverle y-local-creatives-meet-and-greet

Paula Masselos Mayor of Waverley

Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Follow

Crime News

Eastern Suburbs Trio Arrested in Money Laundering Swoop

Three people from the Eastern Suburbs face long jail terms over their alleged involvement in an international money laundering syndicate.

A man from Bellevue Hill and a couple from Vaucluse were arrested by Australian Federal Police. The AFP says they were key players in an enterprise which “provided services on an industrial scale to Australian-based organised crime syndicates,” charging a 10 per cent commission. They then allegedly used these profits to purchase high value assets, including two homes in Bellevue Hill and Vaucluse worth a combined $19 million.

All aged in their forties, the Bellevue Hill man and the man and woman from Vaucluse have been charged with proceeds of crime offences carrying prison sentences of up to 25 years. It is alleged the Vaucluse man was the head of the money laundering group, which operated through transfer of ‘dirty’ money to shell companies in a number of overseas jurisdictions. Casino junkets were also used to launder cash. Police in Hong Kong and Malaysia assisted the AFP in its two year investigation.

Six people in other parts of Sydney were arrested in the AFP swoop, called Operation Avarus-Midas. Members of the alleged syndicate now face losing assets

worth over $150 million under proceeds of crime legislation.

Westie Coke Dealers Nabbed at Bondi Beach

Police have been cracking down on cocaine dealers operating at Bondi Beach, with multiple arrests by Eastern Suburbs Police Area Command. A number of people operating ‘dial-a-dealer’ businesses from their cars have recently appeared before Waverley Court, with a pattern emerging - the dealers often come from the Western Suburbs, but ply their trade near Australia’s most famous beach.

A 45-year-old Merrylands woman, Rita Hanna, was caught with 37 small bags of cocaine and more than $6,000 cash. Fronting court, Hanna was let off lightly, with the magistrate taking into account her previously clean criminal record. She was sentenced to a two year community corrections order and $750 fine. Parramatta bricklayer Aseroma Cottrell also escaped jail after his car was stopped on Campbell Parade and police found 10 small bags of coke plus almost $2,000 cash. He was given a 21-month corrections order and fined $550. Merrylands plumber Ramy Raya wasn’t so lucky. He was jailed for nine months after being nabbed near the beach with 19.5 grams of coke and $4,800 in his glovebox. Waverley Court was told the 23-year-old had previous criminal form and was on a bond for a serious assault.

Colombian Student Faces Justice Over Sex Worker Killing

A client of a Coogee sex worker who attacked her because she was transgender has been convicted of manslaughter.

Hector Valencia, 23, booked an appointment with 69-year-old Kimberley McRae after seeing an ad online. He went to her Coogee flat, where he punched her after discovering she was transgender. Ms McRae picked up a table lamp to defend herself and there

was a violent struggle on the floor. The fight came to a tragic end after Valencia pressed the lamp cord against her neck. She died from asphyxiation.

Valencia fled the apartment and days later flew back to Colombia. Just before his departure he sent a text message to a Sydney friend confessing to the killing. He was subsequently extradited to Australia and put on trial in the NSW Supreme Court, where he was cleared of a murder charge but convicted of manslaughter. Sentencing was deferred pending submissions from his defence counsel.

Maroubra Man Jailed

Kieron Almond couldn’t resist the temptation when he happened upon an unlocked minibus parked in Maroubra with the keys in the ignition. He got inside and started the engine. The minibus driver was nearby and saw what was happening. He rushed over and stood in front of the vehicle to prevent it being driven away. But that didn’t stop 31-year-old Almond, who ran over the man’s foot as he drove off.

Almond, of Maroubra, faced a slew of charges when he appeared in Waverley Court. The magistrate noted Almond’s history of violent criminal offences and sentenced him to 14 months jail, a two year driving ban and $1,000 fine.

Carpenter Assaulted Man Over Minor Car Damage

It was all too much for Bondi carpenter Kyle Rees when his parked ute suffered damage from the door of another car being opened carelessly.

Rees, 32, lashed out at the man responsible for putting a blemish on his precious Ford Ranger, slapping him so hard across the face that the victim suffered a broken jaw.

In Waverley Court, Rees pleaded guilty to the assault in the forecourt of the Caltex Star Mart in North Bondi. He was sentenced to a two year corrections order and fined $750.

Words Gary Larson

Photo Paddy Wagon

Off to the clink.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News

It’s been a busy start to 2023 and our construction crews are getting on with the important work of delivering a range of upgrades and improvements right across Randwick City.

We’ve just finished building two new outdoor gyms – one at Snape Park in Maroubra and one at Barwon Park in Matraville.

At Lurline Bay, we’ve repaired the staircase after it was knocked out last year by large storms. This important set of stairs provides access to Lurline Bay as well a coastal connection between South Coogee and Maroubra.

The Meeks Street Plaza in Kingsford is now open! The new plaza provides a civic heart for Kingsford with additional outdoor seating and dining, stage and a lawn area for local events or just soaking up the sun.

Further down the road at Maroubra Junction, work is progressing well on a streetscape upgrade improving the median of Anzac Parade.

While at South Maroubra Beach a brand-new amenities building and storage for the South Maroubra Surf Life Saving Club is taking shape.

At Matraville, we’ve started building a new community hall including a covered outdoor space, a new kitchen and sustainability features like solar panels and rainwater tanks.

And lastly, the much-anticipated opening of the Heffron Centre is also in sight. The new centre provides a dedicated gymnastics facility, indoor community sports centre and will be the new home for the South Sydney Rabbitohs.

As you can see, we’ve been busy with plenty of goodies in the works!

What’s On

THURSDAY 6 APRIL

NEXT CHAPTER ART GROUP

10.30am-12pm

Margaret Martin Library,

FRIDAY 14 APRIL

ACRYLIC WORKSHOP WITH NIKI KOEPPL

10am – 12pm

La Perouse Museum

MONDAY 17 – THURSDAY 20

APRIL

MARINE & COASTAL DISCOVERY PROGRAM

Various locations

FRIDAY 21 APRIL

SOUTH EAST BLOCK PARTY

Coral Sea Park, Maroubra

TUESDAY 25 APRIL

ANZAC DAWN SERVICE

5.30am, Goldstein Reserve, Coogee Beach

UNTIL THURSDAY 27 APRIL

2023 WOMEN’S ART PRIZE EXHIBITION

Lionel Bowen Library Gallery

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

Councillor Dylan Parker Mayor of Randwick

Randwick Mayor Dylan Parker

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!

Subject Sandy Boy Location Coogee Photographer Brody Vancers

Subject Mellow Mornings Location Malabar Photographer Lisa Chen

Subject Ball and Chain Location Gordons Bay Photographer Sam Daniels @dam_sanielss

Subject Mahon Pool Madness Location Maroubra Photographer Carmel Denniss @carmeldenniss

Subject Poolside Sunrise Location Bronte Photographer George Hines

Subject Clever Kooka Location Bondi Junction Photographer Graeme Bogan

Subject Full Moon Dips Location Coogee Photographer Parveen Sidhu

Subject Sky Light Location Bronte Photographer Theresia Hall @theresia.g.hall

Subject Clarity Location South Maroubra Photographer Tomas Lomanto @seenbytomas

Subject Milla and The Giant Yakka Location Coogee Photographer Tommy Dalton

Knowing More Than Elon

I believe it was the wise and benevolent Gandhi who once said, “Talk shit, get hit.” This will be our topic today, but perhaps not the getting hit part, because although Gandhi did speak those famous words, I don’t want to misconstrue their meaning, nor quote him incorrectly.

There is a type of shit talk that oozes out of our mouths every day without us even realising it’s shit talk. We just consider it regular informed conversation. It could be arrogance, ignorance, stupidity, or it could just be that everyone else is doing it so we all subliminally agree to keep doing it together so long as no one calls anyone else out for it.

This shit talk is the ‘Knowing More Than Elon’ talk. Because we are constantly floodeddeliberate or otherwise - with random information, this gives us credibility to critique whoever we want, whatever we want, however we want. Here are some anecdotes (where I am wise and others are fools) to demonstrate this.

The Boomer Dinner

Our dinner conversation turned to electric cars.

“Times are changing,” all the boomers agreed. “All this technology and change, is it for the better?”

A supposed flaw of the electric car model then came up.

“I don’t think Elon thought that one through,” one said.

All the others at the dinner table decided to get their jabs in, “Yeah that Elon’s a moron, he has lost the plot”, and my favourite of the night, “Here is what that Elon should’ve done…”

Clearly these people, three wines deep on a Tuesday night sitting down to a pork dinner, have figured out where Elon Musk went wrong. I remember having a strong desire to call Elon and let him know, but I couldn’t reach him. God he is an idiot, I thought.

The Overqualified Taxi Guy “Scott Morison is dumb,” the chatty taxi driver said.

“Is he?” I asked.

“Yes, so stupid,” he said. Maybe you could say Scott Morisson is out of touch, but not dumb. Of all the things you could say about him, you must concede that he probably isn’t unintelligent.

“You should run for Prime Minister then,” I said.

He laughed, “No way,” he said.

Blanket statements like the ones displayed in our stories above are made all the time. The worse thing is that they are made glibly and with complete conviction by everyday Joes like you and I. Did we ever stop and consider that we might not know as much as the people or things we have such strong opinions about? Did we ever stop and consider how difficult it is to make statements like these without, at the very least, knowing more about it than that five-minute Facebook video we saw?

The problem is that we are probably quite stupid compared to the people we talk about. That we are even talking about them at all, and not vice versa, is already

testament to the fact that they are more important and experienced than us. This is not about certain ideas and issues being way over our heads, or certain individuals being above reprimand, it’s about acknowledging your own inadequacies in relation to the complexities of these people or issues. If you find yourself bagging on a public figure or anyone of that sort, a good question to ask yourself is, if I were face to face in an argument with this person, how would I go? Even someone we believe to be absurd and a complete moron; I truly believe most of us would get walloped in an argument with Donald Trump.

What I want to know is whatever happened to the good old-fashioned, ‘I don’t have an opinion on that’, or ‘I don’t know enough about it’, or God forbid, ‘I’m really not that interested?’ When did these incredibly wise phrases all of a sudden become stupid?

Don’t fall prey to ‘Knowing More Than Elon’ talk. Don’t let yourself or your friends get away with outrageously vague, obnoxious claims. We are already stupid enough as we are. We don’t need people progressively getting stupider by continually buffing up opinions which aren’t really theirs and that they can’t really prove. Stupidity is actually a great and necessary thing; knowing where you’re stupid and where you’re not stupid is, in itself, not being stupid. Don’t be embarrassed, ever, about being stupid. No one should expect you to know the ins and outs of the government’s fiscal policy and no one should expect you to know how to solve climate change. If you really did know how to solve climate change, you’d probably be solving climate change rather than shouting things like ‘Force corporations to reduce emissions’.

Every time you’re about to say something outlandish, just imagine Gandhi winding up a big right hook.

Words and Photo Jay Houhlias

An odd cat indeed.

Cynic

Clovelly’s Giant Crocs Need a New Enclosure

An enormous new enclosure will be built at Burrows Park to house the world-famous giant juvenile crocodiles of Clovelly.

Cloey’s crocs have grown so rapidly in recent years that scientists are baffled, and Randwick City Council is rushing to expand the enclosure which has housed them since 1917.

“Saltwater crocodiles are the largest of their species, but Clovelly crocs are inexplicably enormous,” explained the scientist leading the investigation into the local sub-species.

“For this reason, the proposal is to expand their current enclosure to the south towards the dog park, west towards the

coastal walk and east towards the current amenities block, which will also be renovated.”

An international standard enclosure would safely house the vulnerable baby crocs in their hutch, the pod of hatchlings, and the oversized juvenile crocs who need space to play and bask in groups until they reach maturity and can explore new lands.

“Very few baby crocs become adult crocs, so ratepayers’ money must be spent to assist our immature crocs to reach their full potential,” stated a spokesperson for the crocs.

“The money will also ensure that the most prominent juvenile crocs don’t get poached.”

Juvenile local crocs who have survived the treacherous journey into adulthood include Tom Wright, Lachlan Lam, Tristan Sailor and Victor ‘Boo’ Radley. They all developed in the current enclosure and are distinguished by their relatively small stature in a world of oversized apex predators. Wright now survives on a diet of springboks, pumas and lions, while the remaining three eat anything from sharks to rabbits, dragons, cowboys, dolphins, leopards or tigers.

“Wright, Lam and Sailor were all forced to seek new territory upon maturity. However, Radley remained in his local territory upon reaching adulthood, and his recent prolonged exposure to the enormous Clovelly juveniles clearly explains his famous determination to confront much larger alpha males during territorial battles,” explained the scientist.

Widespread fascination with the massive crocs also necessitates the construction of a large viewing area to the east, to allow tourists and locals to observe the crocs during weekly feeding times. The subsequent tourist revenue will save a suburb so crippled by poverty that its beach is covered in homeless shelters during the warmer months.

However, the welfare of tourists also concerns opponents of the ground’s augmentation.

“Expansion will place tourists on the coastal walk within snapping distance of wild, frenzied, adrenaline-fuelled juvenile crocs in the throes of competition,” they argue.

On the other hand, residents certainly welcome the overdue renovation of the dilapidated amenities block, and the claim that the new facility will be for the benefit and use of the local community, “…which means local dogs.”

Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org

Photo Steve Irwin

This is actually an alligator, but it'll do.

Our Fresh Plan For Coogee and New South Wales

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee

The past few years have been very challenging for all of us, yet we have experienced both highs and lows. Four years ago, my election as your representative in NSW Parliament was marked by the death of my wonderful father Brian O’Neill, the day after the election.

Since then, I have been privileged to share a great many sad and happy occasions with our community and I am very grateful for the love and warmth that runs deep through our streets, homes, schools, hospitals, local businesses, institutions and especially our charities.

We got through COVID by caring for each other and have united to fight cuts to our health, education and transport services while working to protect our precious environment here in the East. We have much to be proud of but so much more to do and now is the time to plan for our future. Improving our public services is a top priority, along with protecting our environment and reducing cost of living pressures. It is not very complicated. These three broad aims go hand in hand.

A newly elected Labor Government in NSW will provide good public schools close to where people live, and fewer people will feel compelled to pay for private schools and drive to drop off their children rather than catch a bus or walk. We are committed to fast-tracking upgrades to Randwick Girls and Boys High Schools and starting the planning for a new co-educational public high school east of the CBD. We will ensure all families have access to co-ed schooling and, very importantly, fully fund our public schools the way they were meant to be funded under the Gonski agreement. You should not have to find $50,000 a year to send your kids to a good school.

We will provide needed public transport and fewer people will be compelled to drive, reducing

travel costs while benefiting the environment and the liveability of our local area. We are committed to restoring key bus services to the CBD, Circular Quay and the Airport including the 378, 373 and 370 to Circular Quay, as well as the 400. We will accelerate the transition to a net zero bus fleet and we will work to address the failures of bus privatisation. There will be no more privatisation of public assets in NSW.

We will provide good public health care for improved health outcomes, resulting in a healthier community, more attractive and sustainable health care jobs and less pressure to pay for private health options. We are committed to safe staffing levels in our hospitals to ensure our vulnerable sick people get the best of care they need. We will double funding for women’s health centres and ensure universal free access to breast care nurses for breast cancer patients.

We will protect our environment so our fragile planet will be healthier. We are committed to doing the necessary work to take our local area ‘off the grid’. We will establish Great Koala Parks on the Mid North Coast and the Georges River and protect our World Heritage Listed Blue Mountains National Park by not raising the Warragamba Dam wall. We have a wide range of environmentally friendly energy plans including establishing a net zero commission and introducing minimum emission reduction targets of 50 per cent by 2030 and 100 per cent by 2050. Locally, we will fast track the building of 19 public electric vehicle chargers to support the uptake of EVs and build community batteries to deliver more energy stability and reliability, lowering overall energy bills.

It’s clear that there needs to be a fresh start in our great state of NSW. We need a change in the way our state is run. We need to put people before profit. We need to put our community at the heart of everything we do. We need to end bad governance practices and sell offs of public assets. Fundamentally, we need a change in philosophy. We need a change of government. Our public services have been eroded over the past years by a Liberal-National NSW Government that has taken away our once fantastic bus services, starved our public schools of essential funding and pushed our health care to the brink of collapse, resulting in increased financial and environmental pressures. Our planning system is broken, with developers controlling the look and feel of our area at the cost of local amenity.

I am personally committed to a change of direction in the way our state is governed and I look forward to continuing to work with our community to improve our critical public services, to reduce financial pressures people are facing and to protect our environment.

Photo Cam Paine

Leading by example.

Marjorie's Musings

Gorge(ous) Bass - A Solo Paddle and Hike Adventure

Very few things are more wholesome and rewarding than camping riverside at a remote location for the sole purpose of catching quality fish. No phone reception, no bullshit, just simplicity and fishing. It was with this very ideal in mind that I recently set about hooning through the bush to a particular North Coast system rumoured to be home to some big Aussie bass.

Along this 400 kilometre span of river there is a certain section where the calm flow is violently intercepted by a section of steep, jurassic-age rocks, towering boulders and sheer cliffs - the Gorge Country. Here the river changes moods, flaring into a dramatic display of cascading waterfalls, raging torrents and bottomless, crystal clear pools. Access is rather difficult to say the least, with several kilometers of upstream paddling, multiple sections of portaging and finally some rugged hiking leaving only the keenest and fittest (or dumbest) making the effort to get in there. In my eyes, these are the exact ingredients for a great fishing spot and I was fully committed to the journey with images of big bass clouding any sense of caution.

Following an early night in the swag, I woke early for a quick coffee before embarking on the upstream paddle on the moonlit river. I allowed myself over an hour of darkness to get to the foot of the gorge with hopes of catching one off the top

as I made my way. After 30 fruitless minutes of paddling and casting, I accidentally entangled a small swallow with my line, leaving it flailing on the surface of the water. Before I could even think of untangling it a startling ‘boof!’ noise erupted from the surface as what could only have been a huge bass started having a go at the helpless bird. Luckily for the swallow, it quickly became untangled and earned its freedom, leaving the fish hungry and myself amazed. Soon after, I managed an average sized bass on my surface lure and accordingly decided to adjourn the fishing until I made it up to the gorge. The river narrowed and the banks gave way to huge jagged boulders. The flow became more fierce and I started to carefully navigate through a web of exposed boulders and eddy currents. A local farmer had told me that if I made it above the first waterfall I would be in for some good fishing, so I was happy when I heard a gushing noise up ahead. I made a final effort to drag my kayak through an unpaddle-able pinch as the first signs of sun started to show. Relieved to finally arrive at the foot of the first waterfall, I ditched the kayak and started to hike, eager to see if all the hype was true.

By the time I got a glimpse of the river again the sun was high enough to illuminate the dark rocks and clear water and the gorge revealed itself like a glowing oasis. As I stumbled along the rocks feeling like a clumsy mountain goat, I spotted three big fish in the distance, holding dormant atop a large boulder. Sight casting a fish is one of the coolest experiences you can have in fishing and I was determined not to butcher my chance at these fish. The closest spot to cast happened to be a vertical cliff about eight metres high, so I shuffled edgeways trying desperately not to spook them. I gently lobbed my hard vibe lure off the cliff and gave it a spirited jiggle before the end of my rod loaded up with a powerful weight and my reel started singing. It’s a pity there wasn’t a soul around because I could only imagine how funny I would have looked precariously wrestling with the angry fish from way up on the cliff edge. After about five minutes, I eventually made it down to the water’s edge and landed the fish, which equalled my 48cm PB.

The fishing remained hot for the next few hours, with countless more big fish being caught in quick succession, leaving me ecstatic with each and every hookup. Eventually I grew exhausted from the arduous hiking. The allure of a cooked brekkie and a swim back at camp drew me home. After sending it through some playful rapids, I took the time to savour the last of the Gorge Country while reflecting on the epic morning I had just had.

Words and Photo Lewis Kennedy-Hunt

Nice bass!

April 2023 Tide Chart

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Spinach, Ricotta and Roast Tomato Lasagne With Sourdough Crumb

Words Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine

This is a delicious vegetarian lasagne to share among family and friends, with an authentic Italian roast tomato sauce and a crunchy layer of sourdough crumb on top made with rosemary as a twist on the classic pairing of spinach and ricotta. It’s worth having a little splurge on buffalo mozzarella and fresh roma tomatoes, and using fresh lasagne sheets as opposed to instant. It will still be a crowd-pleasing lasagne, even if you prefer to rely on your pantry staples. Comfort food at its best, buon appetito!

Ingredients (serves 6-8)

400gm packet frozen chopped spinach, thawed and thoroughly strained

750gm fresh ricotta

2 cups parmesan, grated

200gm buffalo mozzarella, sliced

Sea salt for seasoning

Cracked black pepper for seasoning

1 packet fresh lasagne - use about 6 sheets (enough for 2 layers to fit a 30 x 20cm baking dish)

Roast tomato sauce

10 roma tomatoes, halved

2 tsp balsamic vinegar

1 tbs olive oil

Sea salt and ground black pepper

1 tsp white sugar

Sourdough crumb

2 cups sourdough breadcrumbs

1 tbs fresh rosemary, finely chopped

1 ½ tbs olive oil

Method

1. Defrost the frozen spinach and strain the water well by squeezing it with your hands multiple times over a strainer.

2. To roast the tomatoes for the sauce, preheat the oven to 150°C. Place the tomatoes on a lined baking tray, drizzle with the balsamic vinegar, olive oil, season with sea salt and pepper.

3. Roast for 60 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside. In a blender, place the roast tomatoes and blitz until it resembles a thick puree. Add in the white sugar and stir. Set aside.

4. Turn up the heat on the oven to 180°C.

5. To make the sourdough crumb, heat a frypan to medium, add the olive oil, the sourdough crumb and the rosemary. Cook for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally and ensuring the crumb does not burn. Remove from the heat and set aside.

6. In a large mixing bowl, combine the spinach and ricotta, using a fork to separate the spinach and season generously with salt and pepper. Mix well until combined.

7. To assemble the lasagne, place a layer of lasagne sheets on the bottom of the baking dish. Spoon a generous layer of the spinach and ricotta mixture on top of the lasagne.

8. Pour half the tomato puree over the top of the spinach and ricotta and spread gently with the back of a spoon.

9. Sprinkle over 1 cup of the grated parmesan in an even layer.

10. Repeat another layer of lasagne sheets, spinach and ricotta mixture, tomato puree and grated parmesan.

11. Add a layer of the buffalo mozzarella slices.

12. As a final layer, gently spoon over the sourdough crumb.

13. Cook the lasagne in the oven for 50-55 minutes. The top of the lasagne should be well browned. If the sourdough crumb starts to burn a little, cover the lasagne with a sheet of foil to finish off the cooking.

14. Remove from the oven and serve hot.

Dana Sims is a Sydney-based food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

Comfort food at its best.

We are delighted to welcome Tony to our practice. He is a specialist in sports and performance eyewear for over 30 years and can provide expert advice on cycling, skiing, diving and swimming options to optimise your vision needs. Brands include Rudy Project, Serengeti, Bolle and Maui Jim.

The Beast Supercross

ACROSS

1. Commemoration of the Israelites’ liberation from slavery (8)

5. What came first, the chicken or the …? (3)

6. Spanish ham from a black pig (7)

7. Natural movement of air (4)

10. Castrated male (6)

11. Ringo … (5)

13. Darwin is located there (1,1)

14. Not off (2)

15. Temporary professional substitute (5)

17. Meth (3)

18. Our home is … by sea (4)

19. A baked dish, usually with a pastry lid (3)

20. Help (3)

22. Molecule made up of amino acids (7)

23. Loaned (4)

Trivial Trivia

1. Which band was removed from the line-up at this year’s Bluesfest?

2. What is the only gemstone composed of a single element?

3. What is kept in a ship’s binnacle?

4. What type of food is Taleggio, Asiago and Comte?

5. Which Australian country music legend’s real name is David Kirkpatrick?

6. In Women’s Big Bash League and Big Bash League, where do the Scorchers come from?

7. Where does Hugh Grant’s character work in the movie Notting Hill?

DOWN

1. A gripping hand tool (6)

2. Ginger musician, Ed … (7)

3. Top boys name in Australia in 2022 (6)

4. Rating system used to calculate the relative skill of players in zero-sum games (3)

5. French singer, … Piaf (5)

8. Federal opposition leader, Peter … (6)

9. One sixteenth of a pound (5)

12. The practice of training shrubs into shapes (7)

15. Legume (6)

16. Domestic servant (4)

17. Scary clown movie (2)

19. Tablet, eccy, footy (4)

21. Louse egg (3)

8. Doha is the capital of which oil-rich Middle Eastern country?

9. Which monogamous North American mammal is also known as the prairie wolf or brush wolf?

10. Bob Hawke was born in which Australian state?

Bondi Armageddon.

Words Lisa Anderson

Photo Gail MacKenzie

Writer-director Ti West’s (The Sacrament) latest venture, Pearl, and prequel to last year’s award-winning film, titled X, pushes the boundaries of horror in the most delightfully unexpected way. If you take a big dose of The Wizard Of Oz, add a pinch of Mary Poppins and a fair amount of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre gore then you will be part way to describing this stylishly quirky and delightfully fiendish horror that is co-written by Mia Goth (X, Suspiria) and oozes stylings from The Golden Age Of Hollywood.

Pearl (Mia Goth) dreams of a glamorous life as a famous chorus girl on the silver screen and is desperately wanting to escape the confines of her lonely life on a small farm. Her youthfully sweet naivety makes her violent actions that much more unexpected, and juxtaposing the gory violence with a lush technicolour saturation as well as a dramatic orchestral score just makes this horror film even more lavishly surreal than expected. Prepare to be enthralled. I’m eagerly awaiting the third instalment, titled MaXXXine, due out later this year.

YOUNG FATHERS Heavy Heavy Label Ninja Tune

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating

I can’t help but listen to Young Fathers and feel like I need to move with rhythmic haste to complete some sort of quest. Not like a knight fighting a dragon quest, more like a heroin addict trying to clean up his mess in a Guy Ritchie film. Like you got high and left a bag full of cash somewhere, and need to find it before some bloke called Keegan kills your dog. That sort of quest. In short, it’s a very good album. Mesmerising from beginning to end, it takes you on a journey you’re not sure you want to go on, but you’ll unquestionably be better for.

SHANIA TWAIN

Queen of Me

Label Republic Nashville

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

Let’s go, girls! The Queen of country music is back! Well, the princess, Dolly will always be the true monarch. There isn’t a person born between 1970 and 1985 who doesn’t know the words to at least one Shania song. I challenge you to learn the words to a new one. Because this isn’t terrible. In fact, it’s surprisingly good. It would go off in a suburban RSL selling two-for-one vodka spritzers, that’s for sure. Can you imagine the respect you would command if you randomly burst out singing Shania Twain’s latest single at your next party?

CAROLINE POLACHECK Desire, I Want to Turn Into You

Label Perpetual Novice

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

Wowsers. This is like sitting down to an aural mezze platter of powerful female pop icons. Would you like a smear of Kate Bush on a Dolores O’Riordan cracker? Okay, that sounds a bit weird, but you catch my drift. Polacheck even references Suzanne Vega on ‘Tom’s Diner’ (you know the one, “do do do do doo do do doo”). Well, I hope she’s referencing her, because otherwise she just ripped it off. There are so many things going on here it’s hard to describe my emotions, apart from saying I felt like I was a Jane Austen character living out Flashdance.

Pearl

Genre Horror Psychodrama Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador

Star Signs

Visions Beardy from Hell

Gemini May 22-Jun 21

Stop trying to micromanage everyone and everything. Try letting go and allowing life to unfold naturally for a change.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22

Always be kind to others, even if they’re an absolute prick. Someone else will do your dirty work for you if you wait long enough.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22

Fixing people’s problems only ends up enabling them. If you genuinely care about someone, let them work their own shit out.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23

Farting inside an enclosed space is not good for anyone including yourself, especially when it’s under a doona.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23

You grossly overestimated how much cash you’d have left after paying for essentials. It could be time to get another credit card.

Looking for a different VIEW on Life?

VIEW Clubs is a national women’s organisation supporting The Smith Family.

Women join VIEW to form lasting friendships and to support children experiencing disadvantage to make the most of their education and create better futures for themselves.

Sydney Eastern Suburbs VIEW Club is looking to welcome new members to their monthly meetings held every fourth Wednesday from 11am at Coogee Diggers, 2 Byron St, Coogee - with guest speaker followed by lunch.

Call Jan on 0422 922 095

Email nettiet@bigpond.com view.org.au

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22

You’ll continue to lose form regardless of how much you exercise, but imagine how bad you’d look if you did nothing.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21

Don’t stress about which school to send your kids to; it’ll only take a few generations to undo the damage if you stuff it up.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20

It’s time to cut back your long list of ‘friends’. Anyone you don’t like now is going to be even more annoying when you’re older.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19

With every passing day, you’ll come closer to the realisation that you’ve been voting for the wrong political party your entire life.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20

How can you possibly expect others to understand you when you don’t even understand yourself?

Trivial Trivia Solutions

1. Sticky Fingers 2. Diamond

3. Compass (navigational instruments)

4. Cheese 5. Slim Dusty 6. Perth 7. A bookshop

8. Qatar 9. Coyote 10. South Australia