The Unreliable Guide to...

Live and Let Dye

The Unreliable Guide recently had an age crisis. Having reached a significant milestone birthday, I decided to stop dying my hair and let it go grey. This felt like a mature, wise, sensible decision. I’ve seen people with grey hair who look fantastic - stylish and sophisticated. I assumed I’d be the same, but after six months of trying I looked like a scarecrow coming down after a festival weekend. I looked so bad that even casual acquaintances felt compelled to give me hair advice. I took to wearing hats and avoiding eye contact.

Finally, after a close friend told me my hair made me look like a mad professor, I put myself in the hands of a professional hairdresser. Once she’d recovered from the shock of seeing what I was hiding under my beanie, she took me in hand. When I walked out of that salon I felt reborn. But why does hair matter so much? And why do we have such strong opinions about going grey? If these questions have bothered you too, never fear, The Unreliable Guide is here with some tricks and tips to navigating fifty shades of grey.

Clooney vs Clinton

Most men don’t mind being grey because it culturally signifies wealth, status and wisdom. George Clooney’s career really took off when he went silver, but few women feel like they have the same freedom. For many women, going grey makes them feel socially marginalised. US presidential wannabe, Hillary Clinton, is well aware of this. At a Yale University address she advised students, “Your hair will send significant messages to those around you… Pay attention to your hair, because everyone else will.”

She wasn’t wrong. I’m not a celebrity, but people still felt compelled to tell me how shite I looked. When UK celebrity stylist Nicky Clarke saw a few strands of grey on the head of Kate, now Princess of Wales, he held up his hands in horror, declaring, “Kate is such a style icon that even a few strands of grey would be a disaster.” No pressure then, ladies.

The Cult of Youth

Part of the problem is that we’re all living longer. The average lifespan in the 1800s was about 40. That doesn’t give you long to worry about going grey. But now, with many people living well into their 90s and beyond, 40 isn’t even half way to the finish line. That’s a long time to feel old.

Professor Nichola Rumsey, co-director of the Centre for Appearance Research at the University of the West of England, believes there is a “tremendous pressure to cover the grey and you need to have huge self-confidence to stand up to that.” Similarly, celebrity hair colourist Jo Hansford believes, “People perceive you and speak to you in a different way when you’re grey. I meet women who say their (naturally) grey hair meant they were spoken to as if they were old, and deaf, and an imbecile.”

Personally, I don’t need any more people thinking that about me. But not all cultures think like this. In many parts of the world (notably those who still suffer from low life expectancy) signs of old age are highly respected. White-haired artist Yasmina Rossi notes that, “When I travel around Africa, or Arabic countries, white hair is a sign of wisdom.” Perhaps we should hold our culture - not our hair - up to a mirror.

Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests we all do whatever makes us feel good and be grateful we have the luxury of living long enough to dye another day.

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