Through The Looking Glass

written by darcy gallagher designed by karoline cunico photographed by katey cooney

Written by Darcy Gallagher | Designed by Karoline Cunico | Photographed by Kathryn Cooney

Quiet is not a word in the vocabulary of those who have been affected by the patriarchy. The white, heterosexual male continues to control our society, and we need to further our efforts in using our voices to overturn this all-encompassing power. Many have seen the trends on Tik Tok discerning the “male gaze.” It’s a term some are unfamiliar with, but the fad on social media has resurfaced the hideous truth that our world is still controlled by the male.

The male gaze is a topic that originated in the film industry but applies to today’s culture. Used in film to portray women through an objectified lens, the male gaze has infiltrated its way into other aspects of our society. It not only upholds our world’s patriarchal values and structures, but it also controls the perspectives people view themselves through — perspectives based on the male’s ideals of beauty, intellect, status, and experience. How, then, are we supposed to view our identity or life through anything other than the male perspective?

The male gaze holds power over societal norms and shapes how we view our roles in today’s culture. To overthrow the gaze of the male, we must first discover our own.

The female gaze is a term coined against that of the male gaze. This version aims to portray women in realistic ways. It focuses on empathy, humanity, identity, and empowerment, as well as the “presence and depth of character” of its subject (TheArtGorgeous). It depicts the social, professional, individual, and sexual female experience in ways that are true to her.

A great example of the female gaze is Rupi Kaur. As a poet, she utilizes her writing and live performances to tell the story of the female. She uplifts those who feel suppressed by male-dominated culture and values. She uses her poetry to expose the vulnerability, hardship, strength, intimacy, power, and sexual parts of the female experience that a male gaze could never grasp. The woman in the female gaze is both the creator and viewer.

An additional alternative gaze, the queer gaze (also a term originating in the film industry), is separate from mainstream LGBTQIA+ cinema, which is sculpted by the “heteronormative framework” (3:AMMagazine). The queer gaze embraces uniqueness and inclusion. It is not bound by any binary constraints and does not aim to fit into any particular societal mold or category.

LGBTQIA+ individuals are still underrepresented in the workplace and the media. The queer gaze aims to create its own rules and

perspectives by recognizing different experiences. It separates itself from the “straight gaze” by focusing on telling LGBTQIA+ people’s stories from their own perspectives and not from the voice of the white heterosexual male.

Tessa Thompson, a queer actress, advocates for more LGBTQIA+ inclusion in Hollywood. She championed her bisexual “Avengers” character by insisting the directors portray them as bisexual onscreen.

What society deems as unusual, the queer gaze accepts. It is a lens that allows oneself to create their own identity based on who one truly is or wants to become. It challenges society’s gender norms by commending individuality.

How can we push past the male gaze society continues to hold and begin living through the lens we create for ourselves?

We must first grapple with our own experiences. Empathizing with ourselves and others humanizes and adds depth to our story. Through moments of intimacy and vulnerability with ourselves, we might gain better awareness.

Social media has given the male gaze an even larger platform. We are fixated on portraying ourselves across social accounts in ways that only empower society’s standard of attractiveness or intrigue. People have begun to follow the Instagram trend “Make IG Casual Again,” an idea that adapts a more authentic approach to creative expression. This concept can help us move away from the male gaze’s hold over social media.

The “pick me girl” has garnered attention from its popularization on social media. An example of internalized misogyny, this female craves male attention and essentially will aim to prove to her male interest she is unlike “other girls.”

Social media can be used to counteract the male gaze, but only if we share the content we appreciate. Instead of showcasing the infamous “Instagram highlight reel,” expressions that humanize us can bring the female, queer, and individual gaze into social media. In finding ways to uniquely communicate our experience, we can form our own “gaze,” which empowers us and others.

The female and queer gazes are great examples of perspectives to view today’s culture and society through. Each gaze is different but emphasizes similar messages—self-expression and empathy.

The queer gaze offers a more inclusive outlook on life. It can help us respect experiences different from our own in ways that lend recognition to everyone’s individual story. Stories we haven’t lived ourselves, but should value all the same. This gaze advocates for accepting and celebrating differences.

Ashlee Marie Preston is an influential cultural commentator, media personality, social impact strategist, activist, and a great example of the queer gaze. She was the first trans woman editorin-chief of the national publication, Wear Your Voice Magazine, and the first trans woman to publicly run for California’s state office in 2018. Preston has become a powerful voice for the LGBTQIA+ community on representation, humanization, and intersectionality. She is a role model to anyone looking to shift their perspective from the male gaze and challenge societal norms.

Adapting the queer gaze can help us recognize not everyone fits into the same mold and that people should have the right and ability to be themselves. It’s hard to try and be who you are when the world teaches you to constantly validate comparison. Women are accustomed to comparing themselves to other women due to the male gaze. As females, society has taught us from a young age to dress for the man, act certain ways to impress the man, and compete against each other for the man. The world seems to revolve around the needs of “the man.” This idea applies to sexuality as well— our culture has predominantly defined sex through a “heterosexual norm.”

The female gaze separates itself from this concept. It highlights the realistic female experience. Instead of perceiving the woman as the object of attention, it positions the woman in the center of the conversation in a different way. Here, the woman is both the producer and receiver of the message in the female gaze. She has control over the narrative.

Emma Chamberlain is an additional example of someone in today’s pop culture that exemplifies the female gaze. Chamberlain rose to fame as a teenage YouTuber because of her unique approach to film and editing and has since become an international icon. Her videos feature her authentic lifestyle and personality.

What sets Chamberlain apart is that she does not conform to society’s idea of femininity. She is simply herself and does not aim to portray the “perfect life” or pretend to be anyone else. Chamberlain’s YouTube and social media reflect her values of realistic and relatable content.

Whether she is burping on camera, speaking openly about her mental health, or podcasting about how she has never stuck to the ideal version of “feminine,” Chamberlain actively chooses to defy the male gaze.

We can learn a lot from both the female and queer gaze. However, it is also important to identify our own gaze. We can learn to appreciate ourselves and the experiences that have shaped us into who we are today through this customized gaze.

Forging a new path beside the male gaze takes effort to discover the style and inspiration that defines our own lens. Through the looking glass of the female and queer gaze, let’s hope we can see ourselves in the light of our own choosing.