Becoming That Girl

An Admirable Aspiration or a Toxic Target?

Written by Mia Parker | Designed by Ava Vitiello | Photographed by Bella Bohnsack

She wakes up at 5:30 in the morning to watch the sunrise from her bedroom window as she partakes in a daily meditation practice. After, she participates in the perfect skincare routine to nourish her already clear and glowing skin. Then, she throws together a kale smoothie and makes avocado toast before sitting down to write in her journal.

Who is she? She is “That Girl”—and it’s not just her morning routine that’s perfect. Everything about “That Girl’s” existence is centered around wellness, self-care, and the overall romanticization of life. Other traits, characteristics, and habits include a flawless “no-makeup” makeup look, manicured nails, the trendiest collection of clothing, polished jewelry and accessories, clean eating, a regular workout routine, a vitamin regimen, and reading, among other things.

Essentially, being “That Girl” is about looking, and feeling, your best. Becoming “That Girl” is really about becoming the living embodiment of the vision board for your life.

The idea, which was mostly popularized on Tik Tok, garnered attention earlier in the year when several videos on the platform regarding the trend blew up. The hashtag #thatgirl has amassed over 1.3 billion views, with thousands of app users posting videos about their “That Girl” morning or night routines. The trend then began to spread to other social media platforms, such as YouTube. “Guides to Becoming That Girl” videos are all over the app, many of them with millions of views. The thumbnails of these videos play into the self-care aesthetic, often featuring images of healthy meals, girls with “perfect” bodies, and skincare. Besides this, many creators have posted videos featuring their attempts at becoming “That Girl” as well.

It’s easy to understand why the trend is so appealing. Videos that promote becoming the best version of yourself can be extremely motivating! For some, perhaps the trend gave them the push they needed to begin waking up earlier, or go to the gym, or eat healthier. I’ll even admit it myself––every time one of these videos popped up on my feed, they inspired me to make the changes that I’ve always been meaning to make in my own life.

And yet, I’ve since given up the idea of trying to become her. After a long summer of attempts to catch the sunrise, attempts to do morning yoga, and attempts to spend my days reading romance novels in the park while wearing an effortlessly stylish outfit, I realized that the aspirations surrounding becoming “That Girl” are more harmful than they are helpful.

The reality is, there is no certain image or ideal of wellness that we should aspire to achieve. In fact, wellness manifests itself in a variety of different ways.

One of the things that stuck out to me about the trend was how it promoted healthy eating. As someone who has always pushed myself to eat cleaner and healthier, I at first saw these videos of salads, green smoothies, and other healthy meals as a great representation of the diet I should strive to have.

But then, on the other hand, was I not “That Girl” if I ate fast food or some other stereotypically “unhealthy” meal for dinner that night? In this way, the trend not only promotes a possibly unattainable and unnecessary eating routine, but it also unhealthily promotes comparison. Everyone’s bodies and dietary needs are different––and so when we’re promoting one specific image of “healthy” eating on the internet, this can prove harmful for those whose ideas and realities of health do not align with what they see on the screen.

Like many others, food is something that brings me joy because of its flavors. And while I do try to incorporate healthy meals into my diet, I have found that some of the meals I enjoy the most may not necessarily be the healthiest. So, not only are the diets depicted under the trend unrealistic, but they also fail to acknowledge that there is more to happiness than being physically healthy.

Furthermore, the idea of clean eating is also often rooted in extreme privilege. Several research studies, such as one from the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, have found strong correlations between healthy eating and higher socioeconomic standing. For many, purchasing fruits, vegetables, and other nurturing foods is harder to do than purchasing meals with less nutritional value. Some “That Girl” videos even promote things like juice cleanses or various vitamins, which are possibly unnecessary to achieve a healthy lifestyle anyways.

Trends like “That Girl” will continue to manifest themself on social media for the rest of time. And while there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to live a better and more healthy lifestyle, it is important that we take a step back and acknowledge that the idea of wellness means something different to everyone. The moral of the story is that becoming “That Girl” is all about becoming the best version of yourself—not a version of the girl you see on your screen.