5. Do one household chore, a small one

acted when we were infants, toddlers, tweens, and teens. Whether we get along with them or not, we owe them, something. It might be a phone call, an invite to dinner, or just a card letting them know that we love them. If your parents are no longer and have passed away try to keep them in your heart and keep them in your memory during the holidays or on what would have been their birthday. If there is a divide between you and your parents make it right and I mean this minute. Don’t allow the time to pass because days become weeks and then years and if things aren’t right and they do pass away the guilt could be a lifetime burden for you. We will all have the memory of our parents kicking around in our head and by dealing with any issues that you have with them now you avoid the nightmare of being haunted from the grave.

5. Do one household chore, a small one

Things do have a way of getting away from us from time to time. I know they do for me. For me, chores are basically self assigned. There are things that I see that need to get done and I just do it. I had to be careful and still do because if I choose to do too much well no one else will do anything. I think that this is an important piece to remember when it comes to our children as well. If we do too much for them they won’t do anything on their own, and this is something that can create resentment and the use of the nasty and unflattering word, lazy. The other thing we have to be careful with is only doing what we want to do. As an example I don’t mind doing the dinner dishes, my thought is someone cooked so I have to do something to show my appreciation; sounds nice doesn’t it? However if I am asked to make a salad or set the table I might not move quite as fast as someone else would like.

It is important however to do one thing every day, and if everybody does one thing a lot will get accomplished. I am not talking about large scale projects I am referring to daily things that need attention. As an example I empty the dishwasher every morning. I know my wife appreciates it, so when she wakes up the kitchen is clean and ready to use. It’s not doing the task; it’s doing it and adopting the task as your own. The issue arises with children when we don’t assign them a task and they don’t adopt anything as their own. They never seem to pay attention to detail and how to get things done effectively and efficiently.

My point here is we should do something that we know we can do consistently and keep doing it. It could be anything; rake leaves, do the dishes, take out the garbage, dust, vacuum, organize, or walk the dog it doesn’t matter just do it every day and get good at it. You could call it individual responsibility, but always remember that it’s tough for kids to know what they’re responsible for if we don’t let them know and more importantly teach them how to do it, and hold them accountable when they don’t. Unfortunately responsibility and accountability are things that we try to teach our children and at times they seem to fall short at school and in the home. Several years ago I wrote a book title “The New 3R’s In Education: Respect, Responsibility, and Relationships.” In this book I spoke about the quality of responsibility, and why it’s so important I am including an excerpt below.

The New 3R’s in Education

I believe that there are only two basic qualities that, if worked on diligently, will help students become better behaved in the home and in the classroom and will help them develop into

more capable adults as they raise their own family and work on a job. The first quality is responsibility; the second is respect.

Responsibility

Educators are under constant pressure to improve student test scores and overall academic performance. If a student’s standardized test scores are not up to snuff or if students have academic difficulty that can’t be explained, the principal finds their way into the classroom for an observation to try and find something wrong with the teacher’s instructional methods. The question that gets raised: Who is responsible for a student’s academic performance?

I was not the best student in elementary or high school. I struggled just to get C’s and an occasional B and never did anyone question how good my teachers were; instead, I was questioned about what my responsibilities were as a student. My father knew when report cards were issued. Once he had that report card in hand, he would sit me down and go over my grades. Any grade below a C, he would ask me what was going on in the class and what my responsibilities were in order to raise my grade. I remember once I tried to pull a fast one and tell him that the teacher didn’t like me. He didn’t buy it and told me that the teacher didn’t have to like me and I didn’t have to like the teacher: my job was to work as hard as I could to understand what the teacher was teaching me. When I was a freshman in high school I failed Algebra I. I went home and told my father that it was no big deal and that I would take it again in my sophomore year. He said to me, “No you won’t! You failed because you didn’t apply yourself.” I ended up in summer school, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me because the following year I got straight A’s in Algebra II;

it was a breeze. He told me that he would give me all the help that he could give me, but if I failed, I did it on my own. And, of course, if I pass, I did that on my own also. He made me responsible for my own education and did not want to hear any excuses.

My friend’s son, who I observed as a student never complained about homework assignments, not having enough time to study, poor teachers, or that he didn’t understand something. He took responsibility for every aspect of his school work. I looked at his high school transcript when he graduated, and there wasn’t one A; he earned all A+’s. He was the valedictorian of his class, and he has since graduated from an Ivy League College. . Before a kid can be successful as a student he has to be made aware by parents and teachers that it is his responsibility to be prepared to learn and accept failure as an indicator that they are not putting forth their best effort.