11. Start listening to understand

I was speaking to an older gentleman in a coffee shop recently who was eighty years of age. He didn’t look it and truly he was the picture of health. I asked him what he did for a living when he worked and he told me that he was a mailman. Back then a mailman carried a leather bag and walked up and down in neighborhoods delivering mail to houses. So he walked a lot during the day. I asked him what he does now to stay in such good shape and he told me that he walks one mile a day, every day. A routine he was familiar with and was used to. This helped in maintaining his weight, kept his heart strong and his blood work was always perfect. The trick was he did it consistently and in moderation. Consistency and moderation make it far easier to continue and allows us to keep a healthy balance. So avoid excess, stay consistent and be patient with yourself and you will discover the secret to lifelong health and well being.

11. Start listening to understand

We all like to be heard; and some of us like to be heard a bit too much. We can have a tendency to inundate a conversation with our own interests and just love communicating to people how smart we are or how we solved some large scale problem at work. If you happen to be with someone when this is going on it can be sad to watch the expression on the listeners face when they are interrupted or when the speaker almost starts another conversation that is totally off the topic that was being discussed. Most people like to listen to respond. You can see it in their eyes and body posture. They discovered a link in a conversation and want to talk so bad that they are practically leaning into the speaker. Look, this is an easy one: below I am going to explain the five types of listening. You decide which

one you are and then make adjustments. The trick is be consistent and be a good listener.

5 Type of Listening

Ignoring – Basically being present physically with your mind on something else. The speaker is not aware of this but; the listener may have no memory of the conversation.

Pretend Listening – This is something that a person may do when they want to get off the phone with someone and the other person continues to talk. The listener usually responds with statements like; Right, right, yeah, got it.

Selective Listening – This is usually what is done with a three year old child. The premise here is if the listener paid attention to everything that was said they would spend all of their time listening. So they only listen when there is some time of critical information being shared.

Attentive Listening – The listener attend to the speaker with their ears, eyes, and body. They hear clearly but may not understand what is truly being said.

Empathic Listening – The listener pays attention with their ears, eyes, body, and mind and can truly understand the emotions of the conversation. This can also be called active listening or reflective listening and is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. It is an essential skill for third parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive and accurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriate response.