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rosie pope
beyond
basics
delivery
nest
glow
celebrate
the pregnant in heels star opens up about IVF treatments, crazy cravings and more
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Vol. 8, Edition 1
nursery inspiration What you really need to buy now
Best prenatal classes, pampering & baby gear
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first things first
a blast from the past: pregnant with baby #3!
tweet us @thebump! Twitter bird illustration by Biz Stone and Phil Pascuzzo
Congratulations! The next nine months are going to be full of a lot more firsts. Some will be exciting—feeling baby’s first kicks or seeing the first sonogram. Others, like the first time you get sick in public, will not be so fun. And every day, there will be a whole world of things to learn about. That’s where we come in. This handy little guide has loads of information, from how to prep for delivery to where to get a good massage (you’re welcome) and even how to register for gifts. Need more? Go to TheBump.com and chat with our amazing network of women going through the same firsts as you!
Carley Roney editor in chief PS: Get the conversation started with fellow Bumpies at TheBump.com/community.
editor in chief Carley Roney executive editor Rebecca Dolgin Deputy Editor Elena Donovan Mauer Managing Editor Brooke Alovis editorial Team Kelly Crook, Kristin Giametta, Danielle Lipp, Jaclyn LoRaso, Amelia Mularz, Kathleen Mulpeter, Lori Richmond, Alice Stevens, Sarah Yang Vice President, Print and Production Frank Dolphens Production Team Susan Berryman, Lois Brunnert, Emily Edson, Laura Green, Adrian Hardisty, Jesse Hardy, Jacki Harris, Katie Hover, Kate Richter, Kasey Schroeder, Jennifer Weiland, Daryl Wills, Sheryl Ziegler Executive Vice President, Custom publishing Denise Favorule Publisher/Vice President of sales Donna Weatherby Sales Director Kim Qualls-Bryant Sales and Advertising Team Kathy Gold (kgold@thebump.com, 908-264-8105), Kate Buchanan, Danielle Goldman, Christina Lien, Sharon Thomas published by XO Group Inc. 195 Broadway, NY, NY 10007 Phone (212) 219-8555 Fax (212) 219-1929
our expert panel Ashley S. Roman, MD, ob-gyn; Cheryl Wu, MD, pediatrician; Shoshana Bennett, PhD, psychologist; Conner Herman and Kira Ryan, cofounders of Dream Team Baby; Tracey Mallett, fitness and lifestyle expert; Karen Moise, RN; Nicole Meadow, MPN, RD, nutritionist; Tammy Gold, parent coach; Ali Wing, founder and CEO of Giggle stores; Amy Tara Koch, author of Bump It Up; Andi Silverman, author of Mama Knows Breast
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thebump.com
DAVID A. LAND
Please note: The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as health care or other professional advice, diagnosis or a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Every baby is different and circumstances vary, so you should consult your own physician and use your own common sense. The author and publisher offer no warranties or guarantees, expressed or implied, in the completeness or advisability of the information contained in this book for your particular situation, and disclaim any liability arising from its use. All product information was supplied by the designers and manufacturers. The Bump has made every effort to portray the products true to their original colors and styles, but we cannot guarantee 100-percent accuracy. Prices and availability may change based on factors including material, regions and season. Nothing contained in this guide should be construed as an endorsement by The Bump of any designer, manufacturer or product featured herein. The Bump Magazine © 2012 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. TheBump.com and The Bump magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc. David Liu, Chief Executive Officer; Carley Roney, Chief Content Officer; Carol Koh Evans, Chief Operating Officer; John Mueller, Chief Financial Officer; Nic Di Iorio, Chief Technology Officer; Jeremy Lechtzin, General Counsel.
from
k
contents volume 8, edition 1
what’s hot
8 the baby beat baby news from new jersey and beyond 12 red carpet names the best and worst celeb baby monikers 14 baby by the numbers must-know baby stats 16 expect this the latest trends 18 totally techy baby monitors new safety gadgets 20 pack it up get your bag ready for the hospital 22 know how to save baby’s life your guide to infant CPR 24 amazing conception stories against the odds, these couples got pregnant
celebrate 26 how big is baby? weekly growth and development 30 celebrate your pregnancy! tips for commemorating the next nine months 34 pregnant in heels...and sometimes sneakers we chat with reality tv star rosie pope 40 learn a little prep for baby with one of these nearby classes 42 my pregnancy diary a local mom’s true story 47 what’s your babymoon personality? creative getaway ideas 50 q+a from man showers to annoying belly touching
glow on the cover
Photography by Alexandra Grablewski. Hair and makeup by Karina Montoya for Michael Angelo’s Wonderland Beauty Parlor in NYC. Clothing by Rosie Pope Maternity. Pillow by Alexandra Ferguson.com
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96 54 switch it up your pregnancy beauty routine 56 feel better now! safe exercises to ease pain and help you sleep 62 prenatal pampering local spots for a little indulgence 64 q+a from crazy sex drives to going to the dentist
from top: shutterstock; thinkstock
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from
k volume 8, edition 1
contents
56 nest
basics
68 dream nurseries amazing nesting ideas 74 best cribs for every style make a statement with this practical necessity 76 find your perfect stroller the right wheels for you 78 stock up where to get baby gear 80 practical matters the not-so-fun parts of planning for baby 84 q+a from green nurseries to car-seat safety
100 baby health 101 your primer for keeping baby healthy 108 freaking out, new mom? why you shouldn’t worry 110 breastfeeding made easier cut down on problems with these tips 116 just the two of us local stuff to do with baby 118 q+a from birthmarks to colic
dream nurseries 68
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88 labor day childbirth: what you’re in for 94 my birth story a new jersey mom shares the nitty-gritty beyond 96 delivered—and then... what will happen in the 122 baby appétit solid-food starter guide hours right after birth 126 q+a 98 q+a from potty-training from labor positions basics to the best toys to silent births
from top: alexandra grablewski; courtesy of BLABLA
delivery
baby beat
The scoop on the latest news and happenings in New Jersey and beyond.
give it a shot
The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices now recommends that pregnant women receive the Tdap vaccine to prevent them from getting whooping cough (aka pertussis)— and babies from catching it before they’re old enough to be immunized themselves.
by bonnie vengrow
healthier babies
The preterm birth rate in the US fell to just under 12 percent in 2010, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. It’s the lowest the stat has been in about a decade. Yay!
Bye-Bye Bumpers the American Academy of Pediatrics has warned against the use of crib bumpers, stating that there’s no evidence they protect against injury, and they’re a suffocation risk. so skip the bumpers and invest in some cute fitted crib sheets and receiving blankets instead.
twin talk
Expecting twins or more? Find support through a new class at Hackensack University Medical Center. Marvelous Multiples offers tips on labor, postpartum recovery, nursing, bonding, juggling more than one baby and more (551-996-2189, HackensackUMC.org).
get fit
Wondering how you’ll shed the postbaby weight? A new branch of the luxe fitness club Equinox is slated to open this fall in Summit. Among the amenities will be studios for cycling, Pilates and yoga; a kids’ club (translation: babysitting!); an outdoor rock garden; an indoor saltwater pool; and even a spa (you know you need a massage!) (908-516-5040, Equinox.com/clubs/summit).
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single parents
The CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics reports that 40.8 percent of babies were born to unmarried moms in 2010.
Get more news at Blog.TheBump.com thebump.com
getty images. illustration by laura gharrity
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mommy deals
carpet names
Our picks for the best and worst baby names of all time. By Sarah Yang
the best
the not-so-great
harper
moroccan
flynn
kal-el
willa lou
bear blu
Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr gave their son this cute name with a touch of old-Hollywood style. Former Felicity star Keri Russell won us over with the name Willa Lou. We love adding “Lou” to a girl’s name. It’s unexpected!
levi
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon named their son after a themed room in their house. We’re not so sure if that was the best idea, but at least they didn’t name him “Bathroom” or “Pool House.” We hope Nicolas Cage’s son is a big Superman fan, because this is Clark Kent’s birth name. This animal-themed name works for animal-rights activist Alicia Silverstone—but not really for us.
press
Former Bachelor contestant Matthew McConaughey and Shayne Lamas and gossip blogger Camila Alves went with Nik Richie jokingly called Levi—another name their unborn daughter “We’re like, for Matthew in the “Press Baby” and ‘How can we Bible. We like this then decided to [name the baby] take on junior. stick with it. Don’t before we even make baby’s name see it?’ There’s a PR stunt! so much to think With girls Violet about!” and Seraphina,
samuel
petal blossom rainbow
hilary duff we were expecting Sorry, celebrity chef a more elaborate Jamie Oliver, this name. But Ben Affleck name is too sugary and Jennifer Garner went classic. sweet—even for an adorable girl.
gemma
Kristin Davis’s daughter’s name, Gemma, is a fresh take on Emma that really sparkles.
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bluebell madonna
Spice Girl Geri Halliwell should’ve just gone with Rose or Violet.
happy 1st birthday! These stars will be planning first-birthday parties for their tots. Welcome to toddlerhood! Beyoncé and Jay-Z (Blue Ivy) Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck (Samuel) Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane (Georgia Geraldine) Niki Taylor and Burney Lamar (Rex Harrison)
Dish about baby and mom trends at TheBump.com/chat thebump.com
from top: splash news; pr photos
David and Victoria Beckham, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, Dave Grohl, and Tiffani Thiessen all have daughters named Harper. This feminine name is literary (like Harper Lee!) too.
baby harper and dad david beckham
baby by the numbers The must-know (and just for fun!) baby stats. by sarah yang
267 96,261
The number of baby photos you’ll have on your camera phone... after the first week
$
estimated “salary” a stay-at-home mom would make if she were paid for all her nanny, chef, chauffeur and other household roles, according to Investopedia.com
141
the number of times during baby’s first year that you’ll realize you’re acting like your own mother
$ 226,920
the US Department of Agriculture’s recent estimate of how much parents spend on their child over 17 years
13 14
715
loads of laundry you’ll end up doing before your baby turns one
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the number of pounds one Texas baby weighed at birth last year (Whoa!)
how many years the name Jacob has been at the top of the Social Security Administration’s Popular Baby Names list
Get more stats and breaking baby news at TheBump.com/babybeat thebump.com
She’ ll outgrow her bunny... but not the benefits of cord blood
Cord blood is saving lives today. That’s why banking it is one of the best decisions you can make before your baby is born. Ensure your family has access to today’s lifesaving medicine and potential future treatments by storing with the world’s most experienced newborn stem cell bank. Ask your doctor about CBR.
Call CBR® today for a free information kit
1-888-CORD BLOOD (1-888-267-3256) cordblood.com Cord blood stem cells are not applicable for every situation. Use will be determined by the treating physician. © 2012 Cbr Systems, Inc. All rights reserved. • 0612 • MA02148.01
expect
this
The latest, hottest (and just plain weird) pregnancy and baby trends. by bonnie vengrow
on pregnancy cravings
“[I wanted] a lot of stuff that I ate in my childhood: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, Pop-Tarts, Cap’n Crunch.” JESSICA SIMPSON
o n cÉ be y
exposed breasts
We’re not talking wardrobe malfunctions—we’re talking intentional exposure! Breastfeeding in public is in the spotlight after Beyoncé and Miranda Kerr were seen nursing away from home. Also, to protest requests for moms to cover up, mothers in the US and UK banded together for feeding flash mobs.
french connection
Ever since the book Bringing Up Bébé came out in February 2012, parents have been adopting some French rules: limiting snacks to once a day; not being afraid to say no; waiting five minutes before checking on a crying baby; and teaching kids the importance of please and thank-you.
Not Lost in Translation They may not BE talkING yet, but six- to nine-month-olds can understand the meaning of words they hear often—like ones for food and body parts—say researchers at the University of Pennsylvania. So keep CHATTING, even if she JUST grins for now. Extra cupholders and large peekaboo windows are so last year— today’s tricked-out strollers are all about the easy fold. Check out the Origami from 4moms ($850, right), the first power-folding stroller that collapses with the push of a button, and the Quinny Moodd ($700), which has an automatic unfolding system. They’re pricey, yes, but a quick and simple fold is worth every penny.
it’s in the bag
Selma Blair and Denise Richards have each snapped up one of interior design guru Jonathan Adler’s sleek, brightly colored diaper bags for Skip Hop ($34– $80, SkipHop.com).
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1 in 139
The number of home births in the US in 2009, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That’s a 29 percent jump in just five years!
Dish about baby and mom trends at TheBump.com/chat thebump.com
from top: pr photos; courtesy of the manufacturers (2)
pimp baby’s ride
complimentary maternity session when you sign up for baby steps
see index
mommy deals
techy
totally baby monitors The latest safety gadgets have a ton of cool bells and whistles. by sarah yang
old reliable
This monitor covers a long range (330 meters) and has a long battery life and clear transmission. Philips Avent DECT, $94, Amazon.com
tip It uses touch-screen technology, so you can pan, scan and zoom to see everything. Summer Infant BabyTouch Digital Video Monitor, $280, BabiesRUs.com
smart sensor
A sensor pad goes under baby’s mattress and alerts you if she stops moving. Tommee Tippee Digital Video Sensor Pad Monitor, $300, BabiesRUs.com
sound of music
This one plays lullabies and has a night-light and intercom. Levana Safe n’See Digital Video Baby Monitor, $230, MyLevana.com
high-def
The sound technology in this model provides great clarity and reduces interference. Safety 1st High Def Digital Monitor, $100, Amazon.com
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digital vs. analog Wondering what the difference is between a digital monitor and an analog one? Digital monitors are better at quieting interference and protecting privacy (so the neighbors won’t pick up baby’s snores while they’re on a wireless phone), but are also pricier. If you live in an apartment building, digital is worth the extra cost, less so if your neighbors are far away.
More top baby gear at TheBump.com/gear thebump.com
all images courtesy of the manufacturers
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pack it up
Getting your bag ready for the hospital? These moms* share their must-have labor supplies.
don’t forget your trusty pillow, because the ones at the hospital suck. anahi z. The music on my iPod helped me focus on relaxing during labor. amy w. One thing women might not think about is makeup, but if you bring some, you’ll probably be a lot more excited to take those first family photos with your baby! sandra M.
Snacks! I was starving after labor, and my husband was too.
colleen U.
Bring ChapStick! During labor, your lips get really dry. shannon G.
I packed a special bag for my hubby that had energy drinks, pajamas and a magazine in it. Anna R. Socks! The hospital floors are cold. beg
I brought refreshing aloe vera face wipes. That was a good decision! della
* Names have been changed
your checklist Insurance info, hospital forms and birth plan (if you have one) 2–3 pairs of socks (nonskid are best) Warm robe or sweater Lip balm
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2 maternity bras and nursing pads (you may leak) Headband or ponytail holder Camera, battery and memory card Cell phone and charger
Toiletries: hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, face wash, makeup, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, contact lens case and solution
Snacks and change for the vending machines Baby’s car seat Baby’s goinghome outfit Mom’s goinghome outfit Baby blankets
For a complete list, go to TheBump.com/bag thebump.com
know how to
save baby’s life
Every parent should know infant CPR. Learn the basics, and sign up for a class. by Jennifer L.W. Fink
baby CPR, step-by-step Worried baby isn’t breathing? If he isn’t responding to your voice and touch, try flicking the bottom of his foot with your finger. No response? Move to Step 2.
step 2 call for help
Ask the person nearest you to call 911 immediately. If you’re alone, take only two minutes to do CPR on baby before calling 911, since it’s important not to let a small child go long without oxygen.
step 3 open the airway
Look, listen and feel for baby’s breath. Position your head over his nose and mouth, and look down toward his chest. If you don’t hear or feel his breath on your face or see his chest rise, try opening the airway. (It’s best if baby is on a hard surface, so place him on a floor or table.) Align his head in a neutral position, with his nose pointing slightly up, like he’s sniffing. Look, listen and feel for breath one more time. No breath? Time for Step 4.
step 4 give two breaths
Place your mouth over your baby’s nose and mouth, and give two gentle breaths. Keep your head turned toward his chest; watch for the chest to rise gently. If that doesn’t happen, move to Step 5.
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step 5
start chest compressions
Place two fingers on the middle of baby’s chest, just beneath the nipple line. Start chest compressions; aim for 100 compressions that push baby’s chest down about an inch and a half deep. Tip: Sing the Bee Gees song “Stayin’ Alive”—it moves at about 104 beats per minute.
step 6 keep going
Alternate compressions and breaths—30 chest compressions, 2 breaths; 30 compressions, 2 breaths. Don’t stop CPR until you see an obvious sign that baby has responded to your care, such as breathing or moving. Keep going until baby improves or emergency medical help arrives.
step 7 brush up
on the basics
Read this over and review it every three months; that’s about the time frame in which people start to forget what they learned about baby CPR. If you take a CPR class through the American Red Cross, you’ll have extra practice, plus access to an interactive refresher course online.
take a course These instructions don’t replace taking a class. Here are some local infant CPR courses—call ahead for dates and registration information. Baby Zone and Beyond (908) 400-4376 Calm Baby RN (973) 306-3063 Newark Beth Israel Medical Center (888) 277-2281 For more, visit RedCross.org
The Bump expert: Mary Rudolph of the American Red Cross
More important baby prep at TheBump.com/newborn thebump.com
alexandra grablewski
step 1 check for responsiveness
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amazing
conception stories
Against the odds, these couples got pregnant!
expecting a baby
“I went to the doctor thinking I had a kidney stone, only to learn I had an ectopic pregnancy. Then, because of my irregular cycles, my OB said I should consult a reproductive endocrinologist. I had three hysteroscopies, a uterine septum removal, three D&Cs, a laparoscopy, three IUIs and five IVFs. I also had five pregnancy losses. After one of them, I broke down at an appointment. A nurse grabbed me by the shoulders: ‘You have two choices,’ she said. ‘Give up, knowing that if you do, your dream of becoming a mother will probably never come true. Or keep fighting.’ Those words gave me the strength I have today. Now I’m 14 weeks pregnant.”
chandra & jacob juncker expecting a baby
“Because I knew I might not ovulate regularly, we started right away with Clomid and OPKs. After five rounds of Clomid, we learned that Jacob had varicose veins that were hurting his sperm count, and I had a cyst wrapped around my fallopian tubes. An infertility specialist recommended IVF. The first round was grueling; I developed ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, a painful condition, and then miscarried. Jacob and I both had surgeries (he for his veins; me for the cyst), and we both needed to recover. We started an organic diet and did acupuncture. Finally, a few months ago, I took a pregnancy test on a whim. It was positive!”
24
marcu & ben alexander parents to Stella (age 2½) and Hadley (18 months)
“In addition to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), I had a blocked tube and endometriosis, and Ben had abnormal morphology, really putting the odds against us. We stayed hopeful and tried IVF. We were fortunate, and I got my first positive pregnancy test two days after Christmas! I gave birth to Stella nearly three years ago and to our second daughter, Hadley, a year later. My conception journey taught me so much about myself. For me, it was helpful that I kept a positive outlook and allowed my mind and body to rest. Holding my babies for the first time was well worth the wait!”
tabatha & aaron steinhaus parents to twins Savannah and Callista (age 2½)
“After trying for months, my OB started me on Clomid—which gave me awful hot flashes and mood swings—but because I had PCOS, I still didn’t have a clear ovulation pattern. I then tried four cycles of IUI and still didn’t get pregnant. I took a fourmonth break before moving on to the scariest acronym of all: IVF. Before too long, I was pregnant—with identical twins! Today, my daughters are 2½, and we’re hoping to add a baby brother to our family. The infertility journey was tough, but it brought Aaron and me closer. Plus, I’ve learned that I’m strong; I can handle more than I ever imagined.”
Read more conception stories at TheBump.com/ttcstories thebump.com
alexander family: tkz photo; steinhaus family: blowing dandelions photography
krystyn & bob labate
www.brighthorizons.com/bh
A Great Place for Babies! With multiple locations throughout Northern, Central and Southern New Jersey, Bright Horizons速 is the leading provider of high-quality early education and preschool. Our Great Places for Babies program is designed to provide a warm, welcoming environment where your baby can thrive and grow from a bundle of joy to a bundle of curiousity. Schedule a visit. mention the bump to receive
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celebrate
how
big is baby?
See how she matches up to common fruits and veggies (and what the heck she’s doing in there) week by week. by paula kashtan
week 5 apple seed
Baby is starting to form her major organs, including the heart, kidneys, liver and stomach.
week 3 poppy seed
Sperm met egg and— voilà—conception! Now your zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tube to your uterus.
week 6 sweet pea
blueberry
With joints starting to appear, baby is forming arms and legs—and growing 100 new brain cells per minute. Wow!
week 8
week 9
Continuing to straighten in the trunk, baby can move those little arms, legs, and (slightly webbed) fingers and toes.
The former embryo is now officially a fetus, and an ultrasound device may be able to pick up a view of her beating heart.
raspberry
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thebump.com
olive
ALL PHOTOGRAPHY: SHUTTERSTOCK
week 7
As blood begins to circulate, baby is beginning to develop eyes, ears, a nose, cheeks and a chin.
week 14 lemon
Your fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine and breathing amniotic fluid.
week 15 orange
Finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus squirms and wiggles like crazy, though you probably still can’t feel it. >
i’ m not fat. i’ m pregnant! week 12 plum
As you move into the second trimester, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed. From here, they grow and mature.
week 13 peach
While the intestines make their way from the umbilical cord to the fetus’s tummy, baby is developing teeth and vocal cords.
week 10 prune
Arm joints work, bones and cartilage are forming and baby’s vital organs are starting to function.
week 11 lime
Now baby’s fingers and toes no longer are webbed, and her hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
New Jersey thebump.com
27
celebrate
week 17 onion
Baby’s skeleton is hardening, and those little fingers and toes are now defined with one-of-a-kind prints.
week 16 avocado
Tiny bones are now forming in the ears, and eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in.
week 18 week 19 mango
Vernix caseosa, a greasy white goo, now coats baby’s skin. Some of it could remain at birth.
get the 411
Sign up for free newsletters at TheBump.com and get useful info to keep you sane and healthy all 40 weeks—and beyond.
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thebump.com
week 20 cantaloupe
Your baby is gulping down amniotic fluid for nutrition and to practice swallowing. Her taste buds work!
sweet potato Baby has become
amazingly mobile. She yawns, hiccups, rolls, kicks, punches, sucks, twists and swallows.
weeks 33–36 honeydew
Baby can recognize and react to simple songs and may even remember them after birth. She now pees about a pint each day.
week 37 to delivery watermelon
Your full-term (yay!) baby gains about half an ounce a day, and her brain continues to develop rapidly.
are we there yet?
weeks 29–32 squash
Baby is going through major brain and nerve development, and her energy is surging. Her irises react to light, and all five senses work.
weeks 22–24 papaya
Settling into sleep cycles, baby snoozes 12 to 14 hours a day. Skin is becoming more opaque, and it’s taking on a pink glow.
weeks 25–28 eggplant
Baby is getting her immune system ready by soaking up lots of antibodies. Her eyes are forming too.
Get baby updates at TheBump.com/updates New Jersey thebump.com
29
celebrate
celebrate your pregnancy! Tips, tricks and advice for the biggest sparkling-cider-worthy moments of the next nine months.
radiant photography/radiantphotogallery.com
by elena donovan mauer
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thebump.com
congrats, you’re pregnant!
when it happens You can usually find out you’re pregnant about two weeks after conception. It can take about 14 days for a home pregnancy test to pick up those pregnancy hormones in your system. And the first person you’re likely to share the news with is your partner. This is a celebration that, normally, couples share alone, and it can be a pretty sweet moment. the traditional way A happy—or stunned—shriek from the bathroom is a fairly typical way to let him in on the news, but you might want to opt for something a little less intense. If it’s first thing in the morning, you might want to get back in bed and tell him while you cuddle. One momto-be brought it up at dinner while talking about upcoming vacation plans. some new ideas Want to get more creative? Make a card that says, “You are the love of my life, but that’s not all you are. You are also…” and on the inside, it says, “...going to be a daddy!” Or have your older child (or even a pet) wear a shirt that says, “big brother” or “big sister.”
sharing the news with family
Thinkstock
when it happens You might be dying
to tell your close family or best friend the news, or you might be enjoying sharing the secret with your partner for a little longer. So it’s completely a personal decision when to tell people you’re expecting. Some moms-to-be like to wait until they see baby’s heartbeat on an ultrasound at eight weeks, at which point the risk of miscarriage drops to 3 percent, or after they get a normal ultrasound at 16 weeks, when it falls to only 1 percent. But many moms-to-be tell a few close family members or friends earlier on, rationalizing that if anything happened to the pregnancy, they’d tell them anyhow—and because it’s good to have support in those early days, especially if you’re fatigued or dealing with morning sickness. No matter when you do it, announcing the news can be exciting and make the pregnancy feel real.
the traditional way A lot of Bumpies reveal the news at a family dinner or gathering. If your parents live far away, and you don’t want to wait until the next time you see them, try video chat for a more personal touch than telling them over the phone. Decide whether you want to be direct: “Mom, I’m pregnant!” or subtle: “So when you become a grandma…” some new ideas Take a group photo and instead of, “Say cheese!” tell them, “Say [your name] is pregnant!” and capture their reactions on camera. Or fill a fortune cookie with a message that says, “You are going to be an aunt!” to give to your sister to open.
spreading the word at work
when it happens Many women wait until
the end of their first trimester to tell their work they’re expecting. The news should come to your boss straight from you, not through office gossip. You also don’t want her to figure it out before you tell her, so try to do it by the time your bump is showing. the traditional way Try to break the news after you’ve completed an assignment—this sends the message that your condition hasn’t affected your productivity so far, and that you have every intention of doing your job (and doing it well) for the remainder of your pregnancy. Another smart move: Before you talk, put together a plan outlining how your duties will be covered during your leave. Your boss is much more likely to greet the news with enthusiasm if she knows you’ve got the situation covered. some new ideas Actually, stick to the tried and true here. It works. >
New NewJersey Jersey thebump.com thebump.com
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celebrate
your big facebook moment
when it happens The moment you
say you’re pregnant on social media is the moment everyone knows, including those high school friends you haven’t spoken to since the class reunion. So it’s really important that you’re prepared for unsolicited comments on your pregnancy from anyone and everyone (like, “Oh, I thought your face was looking fatter!”). Also, don’t do this before you’ve told your boss or any close friends and family members who’d be miffed that they didn’t hear it straight from you. the traditional way Social media is still relatively new in our society, so there are no etiquette rules for how to do this. We’ve noticed lots of moms-to-be posting a profile shot of their belly, mentioning how far along they are and when the baby’s due. You’re likely to get a ton of “likes” and comments wishing you well! some new ideas Join TheBump.com and every time you visit, you can share information about your pregnancy on Facebook with just a couple of clicks. The info you’ll post includes how big baby is this week and how his development is progressing. Everyone will be amazed and excited to follow you and baby on your journey.
the traditional way Oftentimes, the
celebration happens when the momand dad-to-be reveal baby’s gender to the grandparents or other close family members or friends. You might walk into the next family gathering wearing a pink “It’s a girl!” shirt or give your parents a wrapped gift and tell them baby’s gender is inside. Fill the box with progressively smaller nesting boxes, each with layers of pink or blue tissue to keep them guessing! some new ideas Instead of looking while the ultrasound technician checks out baby’s sex, cover your eyes (and resist the urge to peek). Then have the technician write out the sex and put it in a sealed envelope. Bring it to your local baker and have them create a personalized cake. Have a little cake-cutting party—when you slice it open, it will have pink or blue frosting inside. Everyone can be surprised together!
gender reveal
parents wait until baby’s birth to find out if it’s a boy or a girl, but a whopping 85 percent of users on TheBump.com told us they knew the gender in advance. And lately, it’s been more than just pointing to little body parts on an ultrasound screen and saying, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”
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lulliloo photography
when it happens Some
baby shower
when it happens You’ll want to tell whoever’s hosting your baby shower to throw it after you find out if it’s a boy or a girl (if you find out in advance!) so you can register for all the gifts you want before the invites go out. You want to include enough time between your event and your due date to get baby’s nursery ready— and you don’t want to cut it too close in case baby comes early. But you do want to have a cute baby bump for all the photo ops! Long story short? Around month six or seven is the ideal time for a baby shower.
lulliloo photography
the traditional way
Typically, the shower has been an all-female event, such as a luncheon or tea, where your nearest and dearest shower you with gifts for the new baby. Traditional games include “Baby Shower Bingo,” “Guess the Baby Food Flavor” and one where every guest brings a photo of herself as a baby and everyone tries to guess who’s who. Sometimes, guests even vote on names for your baby. some new ideas Baby showers don’t have to be predictable. Some momsto-be are having spa-themed parties where guests (and the guest of honor, of course) get their own pedicures or mini massages. We’ve also seen cocktail parties—with some delicious, fizzy mocktails for the expecting mom—and even coed showers, where both the mom-to-be and the dad-to-be are honored in a less girly venue, like your favorite bar and grill. Heck, your guy might want to have his own guys-only version of a shower (sorry, you won’t be invited).
heading to the hospital
when it happens Obviously, this is when you start labor, or the day you’re scheduled for a c-section or induction. For you, it may not be so easy, but for the people around you, it will be exciting. You’ll want to have a plan in place for whom you want to call when it’s time, and different scenarios of how you’ll get to the hospital or birthing center (like if you’re at work or at home alone). the traditional way Call your partner and maybe your parents and in-laws and tell them to meet you there! Some moms we know have posted on social media when it was time and had their inboxes flooded with notes of encouragement from friends. some new ideas You really shouldn’t exert yourself to get any fancier than that, but maybe you could ask your partner to bring along a bottle or two of champagne or sparkling cider so you can finish the celebration after baby finally arrives. Plan your shower at TheBump.com/shower
celebrate
pregnant in heels
and ksoerms etimes snea
By Elena Donovan Mauer
Rosie Pope is a triple threat in the pregnancy world. She’s the star of Bravo’s Pregnant in Heels, has her own fashion line and is the author of Mommy IQ. One early morning before her show, she stopped by our shoot and opened up about everything from fertility to maternity fashion. >
Alexandra Grablewski. Hair and makeup by Karina Montoya for Michael Angelo’s Wonderland Beauty Parlor in NYC; Long Sleeve Striped Sylvie T-shirt in red and Pret Skirt Classic in midnight navy, both by Rosie Pope Maternity
We chatted with Rosie Pope while she was pregnant with baby number three.
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celebrate
TB What did you learn? RP I encourage people when they’re
thinking of getting pregnant to have the tools to maximize the chances of conceiving. Now I work with Clearblue Easy and their fertility monitors and ovulation sticks. So many women don’t know these tools exist until they’ve gotten to a point of frustration. Get educated on the process early and you can cut down on some of the anxiety.
TB What surprised you most about dressing your pregnant body?
RP My yearning for more casual clothes.
I love design and dressing up, but when you’re pregnant, a lot of times you want to be comfortable but still look great. During this pregnancy, I’m running around a lot. I wear casual pieces that can translate from desk to dinner. My fashion line really reflects what’s going on with me. Right now, the thing I have to wear is heels. The thing I want to wear is sneakers!
TB On a tough day, what’s your favorite pregnancy pick-me-up? RP Muffins. I’ve always liked muffins, and when I’m pregnant, I like them even more.
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rosie’s book! TB Be honest: Do expectant
parents really need your help?
RP I think everybody on the road to
parenthood gets anxious about one thing. Some people get all the gear and equipment. Others want a big baby shower. Whatever it is, they want someone to guide them and help them become a really good parent. Some people have a great support team. Others don’t.
TB What do parents-to-be obsess about that really isn’t necessary?
RP Wipe and bottle warmers. You’re
setting yourself up for disaster, because there’s going to be a time when you can’t warm that bottle or those wipes and you’re going to freak out. Babies have survived for millennia without bottle warmers and wipe warmers. It’s better to keep it simple.
TB Have you noticed women getting primped for the delivery room?
RP Yes! With Facebook and Twitter,
there are a lot of places where husbands and mothers-in-law can post your picture moments after baby is born. Most of us don’t look so snazzy after hours of labor. So they want people to come in, give them a blowout, a bit of blush, mascara—so they look great in the photos. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Get the celeb pregnancy scoop at TheBump.com/celeb thebump.com
andrei jackamets/bravo
The Bump What was it like talking about your fertility journey on your TV show? Rosie Pope I had secondary infertility, so I got pregnant with my first son without a problem. It didn’t work that easily the second time. Everybody tells you it’s like riding a bike: After you’ve done it once, you can do it again. It wasn’t that simple. It took about two years to get pregnant. Talking about it wasn’t easy, but I think it was therapeutic. I respect people who want to keep things like this private, but I wanted to talk about it so others don’t feel alone. Infertility affects many people.
Rosie lends a hand to parents-to-be on her show.
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when’s baby coming?
source: centers for disease control and prevention
Unless it’s a scheduled delivery, you can’t know for sure, but check out these recent stats.
12% early
6%
of babies were born (week 42 and after)
arrived (before week 37)
late
82%on time
showed up (between weeks 37 and 41)
Find your due date at TheBump.com/due New Jersey thebump.com
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celebrate
learn a little
Don’t just get bigger. Get smarter! Prep for baby with one of these cool, local classes. by Bonnie Vengrow
childbirth education
Get a primer in relaxation techniques, labor coping skills, pushing positions and the scoop on pain-relief techniques—whether you want drugs or not. Find out what happens if there are complications during childbirth and what to expect after delivery. And get tips on how to care for a newborn. TAKE IT AT Saint Barnabas Medical Center, $150, (973) 322-5360
cesarean childbirth
breastfeeding prep
infant care
Get information on making the transition into parenthood with this crash course. You’ll get how-tos on bathing, diapering, soothing and getting baby to sleep longer. TAKE IT AT Calm Baby RN, $100 per couple, (973) 306-3063
Getting the hang of breastfeeding can be much easier if you already know the basics. This one-on-one class covers how to properly position baby, get her to latch correctly and know she’s feeding enough. You’ll also learn what you can and can’t eat, how to establish a good supply and how to pump and store milk. TAKE IT AT The Lactation Lady (she comes to you!), $125, TheLactationLady.com
Encourage your partner to take part in Daddy Boot Camp, where he’ll find out how to handle his new role as dad, get baby care basics and learn parenting strategies. TAKE IT AT Princeton HealthCare System, $25 per person, (888) 897-8979
twins and other multiples
becoming a sibling
You’ll learn how to care for more than one baby at a time, the signs and symptoms of preterm labor and all about vaginal and cesarean deliveries. You’ll also get practical advice from other moms of multiples. TAKE IT AT Morristown Medical Center, $75, (973) 971-5027
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dad program
Kids ages three to eight learn about becoming a big brother or sister, and they even make a gift for baby (so cute!). Parents learn how to deal with siblings and the new baby at the same time. TAKE IT AT Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, $35 per family, (888) 637-9584
Choose a birth class at TheBump.com/birthclass thebump.com
ALEXANDRA GRABLEWSKI. dress by more of me maternity design
If you’re having a c-section, this is the class for you. You’ll get details on what really happens during surgery, including how the anesthesia works and operating room procedures. TAKE IT AT Saint Clare’s Health System, $25 per couple, (866) 782-5273
New Jersey Center for Nutrition & Dietetics, LLC
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my pregnancy diary found out that I had a bicornuate uterus, meaning I was at risk for preterm labor and would need to be closely monitored for the rest of my pregnancy.
march 2
cansky By He ather Ra k Ridge) (age 28; from Oa
november 2
Although I hadn’t missed my period, I’d been charting my cycles and I just “knew” something was different. That morning, I took a test and got the faintest positive—I had to squint to see it! After work that day, I took a digital test. That kind you can’t misread: It was a definite positive! When my husband, Nathan, came home, he took one look at me and knew right away. Before even saying hello, he said, “You’re pregnant!”
january 10
The day of my 14-week appointment, I woke up with more anxiety. I hadn’t been having many pregnancy symptoms, so I was still a little worried I wasn’t really pregnant. At the appointment, everything was fine. However, I
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heather’s local faves Hospital
We had found out that we were having a girl the day before and decided to surprise both sets of our parents over dinner. We met them at a restaurant and brought pink hooded-towel sets (that could only be for a baby girl) that we’d wrapped in neutral paper. When our parents opened them, they were so surprised and excited!
Chilton Hospital, Pompton Plains, (973) 831-5000
july 20
Francesca’s Collections, Rockaway, (973) 366-9400
When I was a week past my due date, my doctor scheduled an induction for July 21. We arrived at the hospital at 6 p.m. on July 20. The next morning, I had back pain and my nurse told me to try swaying and walking to relieve it, so I did. That’s when I felt a “pop”—my water had broken! I was given an epidural, and my contractions became stronger and closer together. Finally, it was time to push. Two hours later, the doctor handed my baby to me. Clara Belle Racansky was 8 pounds, 6 ounces, and 21 inches long—and had red hair! Nathan and I are so in love with her!
ob-gyn
John P. Scian, MD, Pompton Lakes, (973) 831-6866 Maternity clothes
Baby clothes
GapKids, Rockaway, (973) 328-5848 Infant gear
Amazon.com Crave-satisfying restaurant
Mohawk House, Sparta, (973) 729-6464
Read more pregnancy stories at TheBump.com/pg thebump.com
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connect with others Gymboree Play & Music has been fostering creativity and confidence in children ages 0-5 for over 35 years. Find a location near you at GymboreeClasses.com. THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE®
Remember to visit The Learning Experience® to register your new baby! TheLearningExperience.com
dress the part DESTINATION MATERNITY® is the one-stop shop for all your pregnancy needs. For store locations or to shop online, visit DestinationMaternity .com, or call (800) 4MOM2BE.
get the gear Baby Crossing Our boutique offers the finest gifts, baby blankets and clothing for baby through 6X and specializes in layette. (973) 425-4080; BabyCrossing.com Bambi baby Visit BambiBaby
.com for the largest selection of furniture, strollers and gear! BELLINI BABY & TEEN FURNITURE Consumers who
do their research consistently choose Bellini. With a no-recall crib history and designs that last, Bellini always proves to be an excellent value. Bellini.com
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Bright Horizons® is the
leading provider of high-quality early education and preschool in New Jersey. Visit BrightHorizons.com/bh to find a location near you. ERGOBABY The ERGObaby
carrier is the only baby carrier you’ll ever need. Available nationwide and at ERGObaby.com. KIDEGORIES has all the
resources you need to set up your nursery. Find top name bassinets, cradles, cribs, bedding, room accessories and so much more! Kidegories.com Lakeland Baby and Teen Furniture Our staff
can help design and decorate your nursery with knowledge of quality and fashion. Lakeland cares about you and baby! LakelandBabyOnline.com NessaLee Baby features
strollers, furniture, gear, layette and clothing in-store and online. Create a registry, receive assistance from knowledgeable staff and search for items used by celebrity parents! NessaLeeBaby.com; (732) 431-0008 Suki’s Children’s/Nursery Boutique Start the little ones
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MATCH POINT STATIONERy
Make preparing for baby’s arrival easier by pre-ordering birth announcements and thank you notes during your last trimester. MatchPointStationery.com MUSIC TOGETHER offers fun music and movement classes for babies and the grownups who love them. To find a class near you visit MusicTogether.com/northernnj. Tiny Prints Transform everyday moments into lasting impressions with our stylish birth announcements, party invitations, holiday cards and more. TinyPrints.com
find the right care Cradles to Crayons is a
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health is vital for a child’s development, and we are here to help every step of the way. (973) 927-2260; FlandersPediatricDentistry.com
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Our role is supporting, educating and facilitating you and your family in your incredible life experience of creation. Visit HackettstownMidwives.com.
SUPERKIDS Our dedicated
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New Jersey thebump.com
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mommy deals amazing deals and steals for members of
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celebrate
what’s your babymoon personality? Beach bum, shopaholic or urban adventurer? Choose your travel style and get some creative ideas for your prebaby getaway. by sarah yang
if you’re a...
if you’re a...
Soak up the warmth and rest those sore muscles at a beach that’s near or far. If you’re a fan of sand and surf, there are plenty of places to choose from.
Longing for a true getaway? Here are some options for an international retreat.
beach bum
florida With tons of great beaches
and resorts, you’ll have your pick of spots for a Florida babymoon. Try the LaPlaya Beach & Golf Resort in Naples for romantic dinners and moments on the sand. Your partner can hit up the golf course while you’re indulging at the resort’s spa.
from top: thinkstock; shutterstock
california Up and down the coast
of California are some pretty stunning beaches. The Cliffs Resort in Pismo Beach is located about three hours northwest of Los Angeles and offers an And Baby Makes Three package. The deal includes a massage for both mom- and dad-tobe, a $50 dinner voucher at the resort’s restaurant, a welcome basket filled with diapers and a onesie, a movie, ice cream (satisfy those cravings!) and even breakfast the next morning.
turks and caicos Parrot Cay, a
private island resort in the Caribbean, is a luxurious hotel with complimentary yoga and Pilates, an extensive spa menu (with special prenatal massages), two gourmet restaurants and plenty of excursions to choose from for exploring the island.
world traveler
venice If you’re feeling good enough for a plane ride, Luna Hotel Baglioni in Venice has a babymoon package that includes a two-night stay, breakfast, a discount at its restaurant, a gift, a mocktail, a massage for mom-to-be, a cooking class and more. montreal Who needs Paris (or that
long flight!) when you can head over to French-speaking Montreal? With cultural attractions, beautiful 18th- and 19th-century buildings, and tons of great restaurants and cafés, there’s so much to do and see.
new orleans Want to go domestic? Try New Orleans. The city is rich with influences from Europe, the Caribbean and Africa. Stroll through the French Quarter, go on a swamp tour, or visit a haunted cemetery. It’s also practically mandatory to taste the city’s famous foods: gumbo, crawfish, jambalaya, beignets and more. > Venice’s Grand Canal
New Jersey thebump.com
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celebrate
Miami’s Colony Hotel
if you’re a...
spa lover
Use your babymoon to rejuvenate with some soothing spa treatments.
sedona, arizona This scenic, artsy
shopaholic
Dying to stock up on maternity and baby clothes, accessories and nursery décor? Why not visit a city with amazing shopping options? You might be exhausted after hitting all the shops, so make sure to get lots of rest at a luxe hotel and maybe even indulge in a spa treatment.
miami Shop to your heart’s content in
this glamorous city. Hit up the Aventura Mall or the Bal Harbour shops for upscale boutiques. Or try the Cocowalk or Lincoln Road for some outdoor shopping. For maternity and baby gear, check out Olian on Miracle Mile or Sweet Pea & Me in Palm Beach Gardens. Afterward, get some grub at one of the city’s delicious restaurants, go to an art museum, or take a dip in the pool or ocean.
new york city You can shop all over Manhattan’s neighborhoods, from the Upper East Side and SoHo to Herald Square. Look at the famous store windows at Bloomingdale’s, Bergdorf Goodman and Saks Fifth Avenue. Browse maternity clothes at Rosie Pope Maternity and Bump Brooklyn— they both have some great finds. And when you’re finished with your retail therapy, treat yourselves to a Broadway show or head over to the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty.
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vermont If you’re craving nature
and some peace and quiet, you’ll love the Topnotch Resort and Spa in Stowe. It’s a country retreat with gorgeous mountain views. Its world-famous spa has plenty of offerings for moms-tobe, including a conventional maternity massage, a maternity shiatsu massage and a maternity guided visualization (kind of like meditation to de-stress). Your guy can also get one of the various massages, plus a gentlemen’s facial or a refining face treatment for men. Scenic Vermont
from top: alamy; thinkstock
if you’re a...
town is full of galleries and restaurants. The L’Auberge de Sedona has European charm and an extensive spa menu. You can get a maternity massage that’s customized to the stage of pregnancy you’re in. Afterward, hike along the West Fork of Oak Creek trail or stroll the Mexican-style Tlaquepaque Arts & Crafts Village.
if you’re an...
urban adventurer
Not sure what you’ll be in the mood to do? Head to one of these urban destinations, which offer a variety of activities. Seattle’s Skyline
tip jetting off? Use this advice for a smooth flight Time It Right
Some airlines may not let you fly after week 36. Book the Aisle
You’ll have to use the bathroom, and it’s easiest to get in and out of an aisle seat.
seattle This pleasant city in the Pacific Northwest has
the best of both worlds—it’s urban, but it also has some beautiful nature to enjoy while you’re there. (Be sure to see the breathtaking view from Kerry Park!) Check out Pike Place Market for tasty treats—everything from burgers and fresh produce to chocolate truffles—plus cool locally made jewelry, clothing and gifts, but stay away from the fish stalls if the smell makes you a little queasy. And don’t miss Seattle Center: It has 4 museums, 11 theaters, 5 gardens and 6 fountains, and it’s home to the famous Space Needle.
thinkstock
chicago Take your pick of museums, parks, theater, sporting
events and to-die-for dining in this happening (but not too overwhelming!) lakeside city. Hit the town and have a laugh at the famed improv club The Second City—whose alumni include many Saturday Night Live stars. (You just might get to see the next big comedy up-and-comer!) Make sure to check out The Art Institute of Chicago if you’re a Monet fan, and then take a stroll through nearby Millennium Park’s Lurie Garden, which is full of flowers, butterflies and birds in the spring and summer. You’ll also want to see one of the Chicago teams play while you’re in town.
get comfy
Wear loose clothes and put your feet up to avoid swollen legs. Take a Walk
Get up and move around frequently to prevent blood clots. hydrate Drink plenty of water to keep from getting parched or constipated.
More advice at TheBump.com/pregtraveltips
celebrate Man showers, sympathy pregnancies, unwanted belly touching and more…
My partner wants to have a “last hurrah” before baby’s born. Are other dads-to-be having “man showers”? Yes, some guys are having “man showers” or “dadchelor parties,” but they’re not totally mainstream yet. We did a survey and found that one in five Bumpies said their guys had been to one of these pre-papa events—which run the gamut from trips to Vegas to a fishing day trip. Part of what’s igniting this new trend is that men (like women) are starting families a little later in life, so they have more disposable income to spend—and what better way to celebrate baby than by throwing a party or taking a trip? And honestly, your partner is probably a little freaked out over losing luxuries like taking last-minute weekend trips, sleeping in or hanging out with his friends when he becomes a dad. We say give the man shower your seal of approval. But we would lay down one rule: Have it early—as in, at the latest, a month before your due date. You don’t want to go into labor while your guy is out at a bar or, worse, while he’s in another city! Should I talk to baby in utero? Can he even hear me in there? By midpregnancy (around 16 weeks), your baby can probably hear you. Scientific research suggests that babies respond to the sounds around them—a loud noise can cause your baby to move suddenly.
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Some scientists also say that babies in the womb respond to music and voices. Many a mom has felt her baby move in response to music, and some moms, dads and scientists believe that babies can be comforted by hearing songs, voices and stories that they first heard in utero. So sure, why not try talking to your baby? Thing is, you might feel silly chatting up your own belly at first. So try reading a children’s book. (Or the newspaper. Your baby won’t know the difference.) Or sing your favorite song. Just don’t expect miracles. Despite some well-published hype years ago, there’s no good evidence to suggest that listening to music (or anything else) in utero will make your child smarter.
How should I wear my seat belt with my baby bump in the way? Buckling up may be tricky now—over the belly or under?—and you might consider forgoing a seat belt because it seems uncomfortable or because you worry it could smush baby. But don’t even think about it. The March of Dimes reports that there are nearly 170,000 car crashes involving pregnant women each year, and according to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), research suggests that four out of five babies that were lost in car accidents would’ve been saved if their pregnant mothers had worn safety belts. So always buckle up. >
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celebrate
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The Bump experts: Michael P. Nageotte, MD, medical director of the MemorialCare Center for Women at Long Beach Memorial Medical Center and Miller Children’s Hospital Long Beach in Long Beach, CA; Christian Hoffman, MD, medical director and chair of the department of obstetrics/ gynecology at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital Hamilton in Hamilton, NJ; and Mindy Lockard, etiquette consultant and president of Mindy Lockard Gracious Living
How can I tell people to stop touching my belly? It’s so annoying when people rub your bump like a magic lamp. But resist the urge to yell, “Hands off!” Being rude or snarky will only get you worked up. Instead, be firm, direct and polite: “I’d prefer that you don’t touch my belly. It makes me feel uncomfortable.” And if it helps, keep in mind that people mean well—they just find you (and your bump) irresistible!
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Is there any truth to “sympathetic pregnancies”? Do dads-to-be get symptoms? Couvade syndrome, also called sympathetic pregnancy, is when your guy decides that as long as you’re suffering through morning sickness, heartburn, back pain and other pregnancy-related symptoms, he will too. (He just better not dare ask for help from you.) It’s not really recognized as a medical condition, and there’s debate over whether it’s a physical or mental one at all.
When should baby shower invitations be sent out? The typical baby shower takes place around your sixth or seventh month, and invitations should be sent out four weeks before that. So you’re looking at the five- or six-month mark. Earlier than that, guests may forget. Any later, and they may have already made plans. Etiquette expert Mindy Lockard suggests mailing your invitations. Evites are great, but they can easily go to spam, and some guests might not check their email religiously. And remember to finish your registry by the time invites go out, so guests can see your list.
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Here’s how to do it safely—and comfortably! ACOG recommends wearing the lap belt portion low on your hip bones and below your belly. Put the shoulder belt portion to the side of your belly and across the center of your chest. Make sure the belt fits snugly and don’t place the shoulder belt under your arm. Wearing a safety belt too loosely or too high on your belly can cause broken ribs or other injuries if you’re in a car crash. Take a few more precautions if you’re the driver. ACOG suggests limiting driving to no more than five or six hours a day, and if you’re driving for that long, make plenty of stops so you can stretch and relax. Be sure the steering wheel is at least 10 inches from your breastbone. Can’t create that much space between your bigger belly and the steering wheel? Tilt the steering wheel so it’s angled toward your breastbone—that way, your car’s air bag can protect you in case of an accident.
But even if it’s not a real medical concern, cut your guy some slack if he comes down with a case of couvade. He’s probably just super-excited that you’re about to be parents and wants to do all he can to get involved, down to carrying that baby with you. Sign up for pregnancy classes together so he can learn all about delivery and infant care. Then make sure he’s 100 percent better by the time the baby arrives, since you’ll need him to be healthy and hands-on from day one.
More answers at TheBump.com/pregnancy thebump.com
ready for takeoff time it right Some airlines won’t let you fly
after week 36. If you’re showing, it’s a good idea to carry a doctor’s note saying how far along you are, just in case you get questioned.
buckle up We know your belly’s big, but you never know when turbulence could hit. Wear the buckle low on your hip bones, right underneath your belly.
book an aisle seat You don’t need us to tell you that you might have to get up to use the bathroom. It’s also easier to get into an aisle seat than to climb over to a window seat.
take a walk If your flight is over four hours long, get up and walk the aisle to prevent blood clots in your legs—you’re more susceptible to them while you’re pregnant.
make yourself comfortable Wear loose clothing and put your feet up whenever you can to prevent swollen ankles.
drink lots of water Plane air is dry! Plus, staying hydrated can prevent constipation, and that’s worth an extra pit stop! Trip-safe tips at TheBump.com/pregtraveltips
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Hopping a flight? Try these tips for a smooth trip.
switch it up
Sorry, but now that you’re pregnant, you’re going to need to make some changes. That includes your beauty routine. by sarah yang
You want to use products that are ultra-safe for baby—and will help you look and feel your best all nine months long (or at least as best as you can when you’ve got morning sickness, swollen ankles and sleepless nights!). Don’t worry—this will be painless. Here’s what to do.
Antonis achilleos
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hair
face
applied so that they don’t come as close to your skin as allover color does. That’s because even though dyes appear to be safe, no scientific studies have proven so conclusively. So you’ll feel much better with a little space between your scalp and the solution. Wait until the second trimester to do it and be sure to tell your stylist you’re pregnant so she can use products with fewer harsh or potentially harmful chemicals, such as pure henna (it’s made from veggies!). tip Go for super-trendy ombré highlights, which start inches from your scalp. And you won’t have to worry about your roots showing in a few weeks.
Swap it for A tinted moisturizer. That
You use Dye for an allover color. Swap it for Highlights, which can be
skin
You use Products with retinoids, parabens, heavy fragrances or petroleum, or zit zappers with salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, Accutane or tetracycline. Swap it for Beauty goods with fewer chemicals, especially the biggies listed above—they’ve been associated with birth defects and fetal growth problems, or it’s simply not known how they affect baby in utero. Beyond that, though, your doctor will probably tell you that you don’t have to limit yourself, since there aren’t a lot of skincare ingredients proven to cause health problems in unborn babies. Just keep in mind that your skin might be more sensitive than it was pre-pregnancy, so the fewer chemicals you’re exposed to, the less likely you are to have a reaction. tip Make a mask with whole milk Greek yogurt—the thick stuff works for any type of skin and is loaded with lactic acid for exfoliation and fat for moisture, says beauty and lifestyle expert Alexis Wolfer, founder of The Beauty Bean, an online beauty destination. Start with a couple tablespoons of yogurt and add other natural ingredients to suit your needs: a mashed banana to help with acne, honey for dry skin, or ground oats or finely ground walnuts or almonds to perk up a dull complexion.
You use Foundation set with
a generous helping of powder.
pregnancy glow thing doesn’t happen to everyone—sorry, mama—and you can’t fake it by piling on makeup. A tinted moisturizer will give you a dewy, more natural-looking finish. To get the exact shade and coverage you want, mix your foundation and your moisturizer. And skip the powder for now. It may do a great job covering up that shiny T-zone, but it has a tendency to cake when applied to oily skin. We suggest investing in some blotting papers instead. tip For days when you’re feeling fat (even though you are, of course, supposed to be getting bigger!), Wolfer suggests putting some highlighter on your cheekbones and contouring your jawline with bronzer. If you’re using tinted moisturizer, make sure the coverage extends down your neck so you don’t get that mismatched-face look.
nails
You use Any old bottle of nail polish. Swap it for Polishes that are free of
dibutyl phthalate (DBP), formaldehyde and toluene. Like with hair dye, there’s no clear evidence that nail polish is unsafe. But DBP has been associated with hormone production problems in a fetus, toluene may cause reproductive issues, and formaldehyde can cause breathing problems and may cause cancer. None of those things are worth the risk! You may want to skip the polish or be extra-careful about what you use. Most major brands, including OPI and Essie, have removed those ingredients from their formulas, so look at the label and use a brand you trust (some not-so-well-known companies have lied in the past!). And skip removers with acetone—the fumes could be harmful. tip Limit your exposure to nail salon fumes by booking your manicure or pedicure during off-peak hours or requesting a seat near the door or an open window. Or avoid a room full of the toxic stuff by doing the job yourself at home.
More beauty and style tips at TheBump.com/fashion New Jersey thebump.com
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feel better now!
Don’t think of it as exercise. These pregnancy-safe moves will ease back and leg pain and help you sleep. by elena donovan mauer photography by alexandra grablewski
you’ll need:
Yoga mat Water Foam roller— we added a cover with bumps for an extra massage (by SilverSport)
leg roll
3- to 5-pound dumbbells (make them 6- to 8pounders if you’re more experienced) Gym shoes (optional)
This maneuver will give you a nice calf massage and promote circulation, which could reduce swelling. Sit and put your arms down at either side. Bend your right leg so your foot is flat on the floor. Straighten your left leg, placing it over your roller. Push down with your arms and right leg, as you roll your left leg over the roller. Do it 1 to 2 minutes per muscle area; then switch to the other leg. >
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More relief for aching calves! Get on your hands and knees and push yourself up into an inverted V so that your legs are straight. Push up and back with your
arms so your legs get a nice stretch. Relax your neck and head. Hold for 30 seconds. Then bend each knee, one at a time, to deepen the stretch.
variation If your wrists are aching because of carpal tunnel, do these stretches standing against a wall.
spinal extension
Some moms-to-be find it tough to work out their back during pregnancy—since you need to lie on your stomach for many back exercises— but this yoga-based pose is totally doable. Just get on your hands and knees, with your hands directly under your shoulders, and knees directly under your hips. You can put your hands flat on the mat, but if your wrists hurt, just make fists. Then, extend the opposite arm and leg at the same time and hold for several seconds. Do 10 reps on each side.
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cat and cow pose
Got backaches? On all fours, curve your back up (like a cat) and drop your head; then do the opposite, arching your back down and looking up. Repeat 5 to 10 times. >
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styling by heather hall; hair and makeup by stefanie syat for bernstein & andriulli; white tank by more of me maternity design; yoga mat and towel by Gaiam
walking the dog
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Š2012 Destination Maternity Corporation. All rights reserved.
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wall-assisted lunges
When you’re pregnant, your center of gravity is off, which makes it much easier to lose your balance, so use the wall to keep yourself stable and safe during these lunges. With one hand against the wall, step forward, extend one leg in front of the other, and bend at the knee. Be careful not to extend your knee beyond your ankle. If you’re having a tough time keeping your balance, take stepping out of the equation: Stand still with your feet apart and simply dip down and then up. Do 3 sets of 10 on each side. The benefit? This works your thighs and butt. Plus, working your muscles helps your body settle down to “repair” at bedtime, and that translates to a better night’s sleep for you.
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reverse fly
Prevent further back pain by strengthening your back muscles (this will also help you be able to hold and feed baby without hurting your posture). Holding dumbbells, stand with feet shoulderwidth apart and knees bent. Bend forward from your hips and raise both arms out to the sides, squeezing your shoulder blades together behind you. Do 3 sets of 20.
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nicole’s tips
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Eat bananas Something about the potassium in bananas helps prevent muscle cramps.
Thanks to Nicole Glor, creator of NikkiFitness Baby Bootie Camp and The Slimnastics Workout, who put together the moves and showed us how to do them!
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Drink up Drink lots of water to prevent dehydration and help with those aches and pains.
Do yoga YogaFit PreNatal is a great DVD for challenging, pregnancysafe yoga.
Create your workout plan at TheBump.com/fitness thebump.com
In-Home Infant and Child CPR Parties
Host an in-home CPR training workshop. All classes include mannequins for hands-on practice. Our award-winning video Saving Baby’s Life...When Every Second Counts explains how to perform CPR and save a choking infant, plus it reviews SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) precautions. With our classes and video, you will be one step closer to learning how to protect your child in an emergency. Evening infant and child CPR training classes are offered twice a month in Chatham, NJ. www.babyzoneandbeyond.com • 908.400.4376 • ghickey@babyzoneandbeyond.com
Call 201.420.6988 204 2nd St., Hoboken, NJ 07030 HobokenWomensWellness.com
Since 2003, Hoboken Women’s Wellness has been New Jersey’s premier resource for a more comfortable, informed pregnancy. Our prenatal massage experts can make you more comfortable than you thought possible while skillfully addressing your specific aches and pains. Treat yourself. You deserve it!
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prenatal pampering As if you needed an excuse for a little indulgence. These nearby spots offer it. by Bonnie Vengrow
Try Flic Spa’s relaxing prenatal massage. For a blissful 60 to 90 minutes, mamas-tobe are given a thorough—but soothing— massage that promises to ease tense shoulders, lower back pain and swollen legs and feet (973-429-3542, FlicSpa.com).
stylish clothes
UnButtoned Maternity’s selection includes chic maternity jeans from J Brand and Paige Premium, colorful Ingrid & Isabel maxidresses and funky tees to make you feel like a rock star. For after baby arrives, check out the Egg by Susan Lazar diaper clutch (love!) (201-894-8002, UnButtonedMaternity.com).
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luxe beauty products
Head to Poofy Organics for yummy-smelling, nontoxic bath and body products—they’re made fresh on-site. The family-owned shop also has a complete line of goodies for babies, including a super-gentle shampoo, an organic cradle-cap salve and moisture-rich body butter (201-438-6800, PoofyOrganics.com).
one-on-one attention
If you’re nervous about working out, or you just want a fitness regime customized to your needs, check out private yoga at MamaMukti. An instructor will work with you to create a mind-body session to leave you more toned, more relaxed—or both (917-570-7075, MamaMukti.com). Get spa-safety tips at TheBump.com/spasafe
thebump.com
cara petrus
spa treatment
bellybuds belly
®
red in Featu
in Only
Thea
tres
Start now. bellybuds
®
©2012 Lions Gate Films Inc. and Alcon Entertainment, LLC. All rights reserved.
Our Prenatal and Postnatal classes provide a safe and nurturing environment for moms and their babies that fosters a growing confidence in movement and body awareness, while at the same time gently instilling the peaceful nature of yoga. All classes are taught mention the bump and receive by Kelli DeFlora your first class R.Y.T., certified FREE see index Doula and mother of two! mommy deals Starseed Yoga & Wellness • 271 Grove Ave. • Verona, NJ 07044 • 973.783.1036 www.starseedyoga.com
glow Sex drive, going to the dentist, high heels and more...
My sex drive is through the roof! What the heck is going on? Pregnant women typically fall into two camps: those who can’t get enough between the sheets, and those whose idea of a perfect evening right now is a peaceful night’s sleep. If you’re in group A, you can thank the rising levels of estrogen and progesterone, which are helping to boost your desire for nonstop nookie. The hormones increase the amount of blood flow to the pelvic area and the amount of lubrication down there, says C. Joseph Cadle, MD, ob-gyn at Kaiser Permanente of Georgia. Plus, they make your boobs more sensitive. As long as your doctor has given the okay, it’s safe to have sex throughout your pregnancy. We say enjoy it while it lasts—once baby’s here, you’ll probably have to wait around six weeks before you and your partner can have sex again. Can I use artificial sweeteners like Equal or Splenda? “The FDA has approved aspartame, acesulfame-K and sucralose for use during pregnancy,” says Suzanne MerrillNach, MD, an ob-gyn in San Diego. So you can safely use Equal or NutraSweet (aspartame), Sunett (acesulfame-K), stevia (rebaudioside A) and Splenda (sucralose). But stay away from Sweet’N Low (saccharin)—it may stay in fetal tissue, and doctors don’t know how it affects a fetus.
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Still, artificial sweeteners should be used sparingly. They contain few vitamins and minerals, so filling up on them could mean you’re not getting the nutrition you need. You should also limit your intake of natural sweeteners, like sucrose, dextrose, honey, corn sugar, fructose and maltose, because they contain empty calories and can mess with your blood sugar levels. They’re safe to use during pregnancy, unless you have diabetes, but because they contain large amounts of sugar, don’t go too crazy. Is there a time of day that’s best for taking my prenatal vitamin? Don’t worry about one time of day being better for your body’s absorption or anything like that. “The best time to take your prenatal vitamin is when you’ll remember to take it,” says Sharon T. Phelan, MD, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at The University of New Mexico School of Medicine. For some women, that might be in the morning, with breakfast. For others, it might be at bedtime, right after brushing your teeth. If your prenatal vitamin makes you feel nauseated—which is pretty common in the first trimester—be sure to take it with food. If that doesn’t help, talk to your health care provider about other options. You may be able to substitute chewable vitamins for your big prenatal pill (just check with the doctor first). >
10% OFF
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A Maternity Consignment and Gift Boutique
mommy deals
Our online boutique offers 50-80% off retail on our large selection of gently used maternity clothing. We also carry nursing bras and accessories, as well as keepsakes and gift items!
Shop online or by appointment in Oakland/Wayne
www.BumpToBumpMaternity.com
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Why do I feel hot all the time, and how can I cool off? During pregnancy, the amount of blood in your body increases by as much as 50 percent. To better handle it, your blood vessels dilate, letting the blood come to the surface, which can make you feel hot. “In the third trimester, your metabolic rate also increases, which can add to the overheated feeling,” says Kelly M. Kasper, MD, ob-gyn at the Indiana University School of Medicine. The good news? Your blood volume—and internal thermostat—will return to normal after delivery. Until then, dress in light layers so it’s easy to remove clothing. Drink water—it prevents dehydration and makes you feel more comfortable, especially when it’s hot outside. The Bump experts: C. Joseph Cadle, MD, ob-gyn at Kaiser Permanente; Suzanne MerrillNach , MD, ob-gyn in San Diego; Sharon T. Phelan, MD, ob-gyn and professor at The University of New Mexico School of Medicine; Chris Kammer, DDS, Lifetime Family Dentistry; Kelly M. Kasper , MD, ob-gyn at the Indiana University School of Medicine; and Hilda Hutcherson, MD, ob-gyn at Columbia University Medical Center
Is it okay to keep wearing high heels? Wearing heels doesn’t impose any intrinsic danger to your joints or ligaments, says Hilda Hutcherson, MD, ob-gyn. But it’s your alreadycompromised balance that can and should be cause for concern, especially in the third trimester, when your center of gravity is way off and you’re more likely to fall. Trade the stilettos for flats as your due date approaches.
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Should I go to the dentist while I’m pregnant? Yes! You should get regular dental exams and preventive dental care during pregnancy because your progesterone hormone levels are on the rise, which can cause your gums to have a weird response to plaque bacteria, says Chris Kammer, DDS, of Lifetime Family Dentistry and president of The American Academy for Oral Systemic Health. This buildup can make your gums puffy and red, and may even make you bleed when you brush your teeth (yikes!). Taking extra care of your teeth at home and having frequent cleanings at your dentist’s office will help control plaque buildup and also control the inflammation in your gums. If inflammation and plaque buildup are left untreated, you can get a dental infection, which is particularly scary during pregnancy—some studies link a mom’s poor dental care to premature births and problems with baby’s development. So follow the recommended schedule your dentist gives you for cleanings and exams (usually every six months). Your dentist might also tell you to come in more often if he sees that your gums are trapping more food and bacteria than usual. Any cavities and root canals can and should be treated to reduce the risk of infection. “It’s better to get these procedures done when you’re in your second trimester, since in your third
trimester you may have a harder time staying comfortable during a long dental appointment,” says Kammer. Veneers and other cosmetic procedures should wait until after delivery, and although there haven’t been any risks identified with professional teeth whitening while pregnant, some dentists might prefer that their patients have it done after baby’s born.
What’s safe and what’s not at TheBump.com/isitsafe thebump.com
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nest
dream
nurseries
Amazing nesting ideas you’ll definitely want to copy. by elena donovan mauer
use decals
Playful wall decals, like this floral giraffe, let you have some fun with baby’s décor without making a huge commitment, since they’re easy to remove and replace. When baby’s older and loves fairies, bye-bye giraffe.
play with color
Baby doesn’t need a boring, pastel color scheme. Here, a black and white palette is offset with several vivid hues for a look that’s eclectic, not matchy.
nursery images from Room for Children: Stylish Spaces for Sleep and Play by Susanna Salk. all product images courtesy of the manufacturers
create plenty of storage
Choose furniture and accessories with more storage than you think you need. We love this room’s under-crib cubby, roomy toy basket and bookshelf with a door to hide the ugly stuff. Baby’s belongings will accumulate over time, and you’ll need somewhere to stash it all neatly.
reupholster
A classic chair gets an update with blackand-white-striped upholstery. If you’ve got a hand-me-down or a piece that doesn’t quite work, consider having it revitalized with a new, patterned fabric.
get the look 1 Elephant decal, $32, LandofNod.com 2 Sheepskin rug, $30, IKEA
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3 Wooden
giraffe toy with wheels, $29, PastelToys.com > 2
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bold carpet tiles by flor New Jersey thebump.com
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nest
dress up the dresser
Eye-catching drawer pulls can give any dresser the look of custom furniture.
use classic toys as décor
Wooden trains, colorful vintage storybooks, an old-school piggy bank—if you’re looking to add pops of color, do it with toys and books that have a timeless design.
paint the ceiling
Add interest to the highest point in baby’s room: the ceiling. You can create colorful stripes using special painter’s tape and regular wall paint. Ask the staff at the paint store for guidance on getting perfectly straight lines.
baby-proof the rugs
We love the look of area rugs, but they can be a slipping and tripping hazard—especially when you’re groggy and doing a middle-ofthe-night feeding. To mommy-proof, use nonslip pads or special rug gripper tape to secure all area rugs to the floor.
get the look 1 Zuo Modern Baby S chair, $150 for 2, Amazon.com 2 Flensted Kites mobile, $60, Guggenheim.org 3 Alouette crib in walnut, $1,490, PetitNest.com >
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go black on just one wall
New Jersey • thebump.com
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decorate the door too!
More nursery pics at TheBump.com/nurseryideas
go nuts with personalization Don’t be shy about putting baby’s name and initials all over his space.
know what’s okay to reuse
Sure, it’s cool to unearth an heirloom rocker, but beware of the safety of old items like a crib or changing table. Over time, cribs tend to wear down and get rickety. Plus, new safety regulations are tighter than in the past. And you don’t want to risk baby getting injured.
bring the outdoors in
A patio rocker rocks just as well in the nursery, and an indoor/outdoor rug is easy to clean!
bold up the bookshelf
Add personality by painting the back of a white bookshelf a cool hue like lime. Nurseries from Room for Children: Stylish Spaces for Sleep and Play by Susanna Salk. Check it out for more creative kids' room ideas!
get the look 1
Wicker rocker, $180, Pier 1 Imports
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2 Hand-knit bunny doll, $52, BlablaKids.com 3 Rug, $138 for 4' x 6', Dash andAlbert.com
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New Jersey thebump.com
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best cribs for every style Yes, a crib is a practical necessity, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also a style statement. by sarah yang
minimalist marvel
modern
The Oeuf Sparrow crib adds high design to just about any nursery. $730, OeufNYC.com
best of both worlds The Maclaren Nursery Cabine Sleeper is a super-chic mix of white and wood tone. Plus, it has a hidden drawer for extra storage. $1,595, Amazon.com
tradition
gray matters
Looking for something unexpected? Go for the Land of Nod Low-Rise crib in gray. $900, LandofNod.com
al With its slightly distressed look, the Serena & Lily Soho crib adds an old-fashioned feel to baby’s room. $695, Serena andLily.com
budget pick
A hit with moms, the Graco Lauren Convertible crib gets you a lot of bang for your buck. Plus, it transitions from a crib to a toddler bed, daybed and even to a full-size headboard, so you can get plenty of use out of it. $150, Target.com
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beauty sleeper
If you like sleigh beds, you’ll love the elegant Pottery Barn Kids Sleigh Fixed Gate crib, which has three height options to grow with baby. $699, PotteryBarnKids.com
all images courtesy of the manufacturers
vintage vibe
ready to roll
The Bloom Alma Mini Urban crib’s compact and unique design makes it miraculously fit into even the tiniest nursery. Plus, it’s on wheels, so it’s easy to roll from room to room. $400, Amazon.com
space saving
ultimate adapter
The Transformer of cribs, the Stokke Sleepi starts off as a round sleeper the length of a bassinet and then converts to get larger and larger as baby gets bigger (until she’s about 10!). $900, Amazon.com
sleek standby
The no-frills IKEA Gulliver crib has a simple design, measures a slim 29½" wide and 53½" long, adjusts to two different heights and converts to a toddler bed. $100, IKEA.com
safety check Baby’s crib should definitely have: Certification To be sure it meets safety regulations, check that it’s been certified by the Juvenile Product Manufacturers Association. Properly placed slats Side bars no more than 2 3/8 inches apart (about the width of a soda can) will keep baby’s body from sliding out and getting stuck.
Low corner posts Anything higher than 1/16 of an inch is too high—baby’s clothing could get caught on it. a Firm mattress While a soft, quilted mattress might sound comfy, it actually poses a suffocation risk for baby. Look for a firm mattress, which will also give baby’s back better support.
Tight fit to the mattress To prevent baby from getting caught between the mattress and the sides of the crib, you shouldn’t be able to get more than two fingers between them. Make sure it’s snug. The right setup Keep baby’s crib away from blinds and drapes, which are strangulation hazards.
Find baby’s crib at TheBump.com/cribs
nest
find your perfect stroller There are so many options. The trick is to decide how and where you’ll use your new set of wheels. by Bonnie Vengrow and Sarah Yang
on-thego mom
uppababy cruz
The UPPAbaby Cruz weighs only 18 pounds and is just 22 inches wide, but it doesn’t skimp, with a reversible seat, a roomy storage basket and an SPF 50 sunshade. $460, UPPAbaby.com
britax b-agile stroller
chicco liteway
bugaboo cameleon
stokke xplory
The one-hand-fold B-Agile is made to fit any Britax infant seat (known for being supersafe), so it’s easy to insert and remove baby’s seat without waking her. $250, Target.com
If you want lightweight and portable, this is the stroller for you. It folds twice for ultracompact storage—but it also has a storage basket and a fully reclining seat. $140, BabiesRUs.com
baby jogger city elite
A favorite of urban parents, the City Elite quickly and easily folds (with just one hand!) and adjusts to baby’s height— and yours and your partner’s too. $400, AlbeeBaby.com
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Who wouldn’t look good pushing this stylish stroller? It converts from newborn carriage (with cool pram look) to car-seat toter to toddler hauler. $880, Bugaboo.com
This model grows with baby. It’s got everything: rearfacing, front-facing, bassinet attachment, a smooth ride, five reclining positions and SPF 50 sun protection. $1,100, Shop.Stokke.com
all images courtesy of the manufacturers
city mom
fit mom
joovy zoom 360
There are reasons to take this baby off-roading: shockabsorbing suspension, a roomy seat that reclines in multiple positions, an oversize sun canopy, compact fold and plenty of storage. $270, Amazon.com
bumbleride indie
bob revolution se
phil&teds promenade double
bugaboo donkey
Baby will appreciate the big canopy with SPF 45 UV lining, the footrest and the flat position for sleeping; you’ll love the adjustable handle, strong-but-light frame and big storage basket. From $490, Bumbleride.com
The Revolution is lightweight and will hold babies up to 70 pounds. The front wheel locks in place or swivels, depending on whether you want a smooth jog or precision steering. $450, Amazon.com
mom of twins
bob revolution se duallie
Finally—a double stroller that fits through door frames, pushes evenly with just one passenger and works smoothly both in the mall and on the jogging trail! $659, Amazon.com
This is a single stroller that can be converted into a double with two full-size seats or bassinets. It’s stylish, comfy and safe. $1,000, PhilandTeds.com
Here’s another cool convertible model. The Donkey’s side storage basket can be replaced with another seat or a bassinet. Perfect for twins—or for two kids of different ages. $1,500– $1,660, Bugaboo.com
Find baby’s ride at TheBump.com/stroller
nest
stock up Where to get gear for baby that you’ll really love. by bonnie vengrow
nessalee baby
Want the same crib as Blue Ivy Carter? You don’t need Beyoncé’s connections. Just head to NessaLee Baby, which sells furniture, clothes, décor and gear favored by bold-faced A-listers. Naturally, every major brand is here: Orbit Baby, Oilo, Muu, Aden & Anais and more. find it at 346 Mounts Corner Dr., Freehold; (732) 431-0008; NessaLeeBaby.com
bellini
incredible me!
Although it specializes in back-to-school and holiday clothes, Incredible Me! has a great selection of adorable infant outfits from brands like Kissy Kissy, Zutano and Biscotti. You can also pick up a pair of booties or a cool baby gift like a monogrammed bib. find it at 301 N. Harrison St., Princeton; (609) 683-8907; IncredibleMe.com
little one & co.
It’s tough to walk into Little One & Co. and not leave with a bagful of things for baby. This stylish store carries sweet, modern clothes from hip brands like Anthem of the Ants, IMOGA Collection and Appaman. Pick up a plush toy, a soft blanket or a little something for the nursery. find it at 1 Highland Place, Maplewood; (973) 763-7070; LittleOneandCo.com
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bambi baby
This store has all the gear you could want for baby, including upscale strollers by Stokke and Bugaboo, car seats by Britax and MaxiCosi, and Argington and Dutailier furniture. It also has other must-haves like monitors, crib mattresses and high chairs. Or scoop up a play mat—perfect for tummy time—and dangly toys to keep him entertained. find it at Locations in West New York (201-867-7634); and Hoboken (201) 2221132; BambiBaby.com
kidegories
Perfect if you want one-of-a-kind pieces in baby’s room, this store is stocked with unique cribs, dressers, changing tables and nightstands—many of them hand-painted. It’s got the small things too: toys, blankets, handmade sweaters, nursery décor and more. Kidegories can also arrange for a local artist to paint a mural in your nursery. find it at 468 Broad St., Shrewsbury; (732) 530-0066; Kidegories.com
Get the scoop on local stores at TheBump.com/newjersey thebump.com
jim bastardo
Here, you’ll find furniture for the nursery and older kids’ rooms that’s modern, stylish and built to last. Check out the collection of baby gifts, nursery décor, rugs, wall art and gliders. And if you need decorating help, there are full-service design centers in each store. find it at Locations in Manalapan (732780-2229); Short Hills (973-376-2450); and Paramus (201-845-7336); Bellini.com
The Ultimate Baby Store
At Lakeland we care about you and your baby!
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SHUTTERSTOCK
est. 1977
We are a full-line baby specialty store that has been helping parents for over 40 years. We offer a full array of furniture, gear, and accessories to make your life easier. We carry top brands and offer a price to fit any budget. We’ll help you make decisions that will provide you with years of quality and use. At Lakeland, we care about you and your baby!
770 Holy Cross Way, Wayne, NJ • 973.694.0007 • www.LakelandBabyOnline.com
nest
practical matters These aren’t exactly the fun parts of planning for baby, but they’re probably on your mind. by lisa milbrand
There’s so much cool stuff on your to-do list in the weeks leading up to parenthood— dreaming up a nursery, debating baby names, being sure to taste each flavor of cupcake at your baby shower. But don’t forget the more practical considerations, like shoring up your new baby’s security. This is what you should be checking and double-checking in the weeks before your newest responsibility arrives. Bone up on your rights under the Family and Medical Leave Act and ask your company’s HR department about your options for maternity and paternity leave. Depending on your companies’ policies, you and your partner may be allowed anywhere from a few days to several weeks of paid leave—and even longer unpaid. If you decide to take unpaid leave, start budgeting (and saving) well in advance. See what else your company may provide. Some companies offer free backup child care (or even full-time child care), help with finding child care, adoption-expense reimbursement, flexible spending accounts for prescriptions and other health- and wellness-related expenses, or other benefits you can use.
insure baby’s future
Get yourself some life insurance. Most financial experts give you a guideline of 8 to 10 times your annual salary to cover expenses for baby in the event of your death, but depending on your individual circumstances, that number may not be enough. “If you live in a home that’s not cheap, and you can’t rely on wealthy parents to take care of your kids if something happens to you and your spouse, consider
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having several million dollars in level term insurance,” says Ian M. Weinberg, CFP, CEO of Family Wealth & Pension Management in Woodbury, New York. Keep in mind that even if you’re not providing a lot of income—or you’re planning to stay at home with your new baby—you should still be insured. “You would have to cover any lost income and also cover the cost of a caregiver for your children,” he says. And while life insurance is important, you’ll also need to insure against the possibility of an injury that could keep you out of work. Some people receive shortand long-term disability insurance through their work—you should determine if that amount would be enough to get you through several months of being out of work if something were to happen to you. >
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check your benefits
Shop ChildwithStyle.com! A children’s website with all of your favorite brands including: Splendid Littles, Ella Moss, Appaman, Luna Luna Copenhagen and more. Carrying sizes 3m-6x/7 for all your children’s fashion needs. We offer personal shopping and one-onone consultations to make sure your children are receiving everything they need.
973.874.9731 • tami@childwithstyle.com • www.facebook.com/childwithstyle
Summit 487 Springfield Ave. 908.522.0400 Paramus Garden State Plaza Rte. 4 & 17 201.226.0077 An elegant & timeless French brand of children’s fashion
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Jacadi’s aesthetic celebrates the purity of childhood through an offering of clothing, accessories, shoes, and nursery goods for babies and children, 2-12 years. Jacadi’s designers use superior fabrics, precious trim, and perfect tailoring to make heirloom-quality items for school, play, and special occasions.
mommy deals
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make a will
Figure out who would be your child’s guardian if you and your partner weren’t around. This may be the trickiest part of making a will—choosing who would be the best person to take care of your kids—and couples often argue about it. “Deciding who would best take care of their kids is the biggest issue,” says Weinberg. “Keep in mind that the responsibilities can—and probably should—be split between a few different people.” Choose one set of people to actually care for your child, and another to care for his finances in the event of your death. Put your child’s future in the hands of people you trust. Instead of making your child a beneficiary of your insurance, set up a trust that can funnel the money to the child. This helps to ensure that it will be spent in the best possible way. “You should name a trustee who will be very fiscally responsible, whose only job is to look out for the best financial interest of your children,” he says. Have an estate attorney help you set up a simple trust while you’re doing your will. Don’t forget other key documents. You may also want to create a health proxy and durable powers of attorney that address some other what-ifs that could potentially come up in your future.
balance your budget
Sit down and plan out your monthly budget for when baby arrives. “You need to figure out your current and projected budget,” says Matthew D. Saneholtz, CFA, CFP, a financial adviser in Plantation, Florida. “That means keeping in mind your wants and desires for the first few years of having a child.” If you’re planning to stay at home, make sure you do the math and thoroughly go over your budget to be sure that you can realistically make the leap. If you’re planning to work, start considering your child care options and determine which will fit best with your family and income. Day care is less expensive than hiring a full-time nanny, but a nanny can give a level of personal attention that a day care doesn’t.
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start saving
Even if your nest egg is on the small side, any savings you can squirrel away now can help you deal with the new expenses that come with your newborn. “With each paycheck, take a portion and place it in a separate savings account,” says Saneholtz. “Creating this ‘baby fund’ will supply you with the money to subsidize lost income or purchase baby essentials.” Most financial planners recommend having six months of living expenses set aside to cover unexpected issues.
consider a college fund
With college expenses escalating, it makes sense to start saving for education early and often. But financial experts say you have to put your financial future ahead of your child’s. “You need to get your financial life in order before even thinking about college savings, which means eliminating bad debts, establishing an emergency fund and saving for your own retirement,” Saneholtz says. “When your financial house is in order, 529 plans are a great savings tool for future educational costs.” But a 529 isn’t your only option. Depending on your financial situation, you may be better off socking away money in a taxable account or investing in tax-exempt municipal securities, or savings bonds. A financial adviser can help you figure it out. Even if you can’t afford to put much money away right now, consider asking others to help fund your child’s future. “Tell your family members that one of your big goals is to save for college for your children,” Weinberg advises. You might be able to request that “in lieu of teddy bears and other knickknacks,” they either gift your child money that you can invest in a 529 or invest in a 529 themselves. “That can help make a significant difference in your child’s financial future,” he says. The Bump experts: Ian M. Weinberg , CFP, CEO of Family Wealth & Pension Management in Woodbury, NY; and Matthew D. Saneholtz , CFA, CFP, financial adviser in Plantation, FL
Create your budget at TheBump.com/costs thebump.com
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nest Eco-friendly nurseries, car-seat safety, birth announcements and more…
What can I do to make baby’s nursery eco-friendly? The most obvious place where you can make some eco-friendly choices is with the flooring, paints and window treatments. Instead of using traditional wood flooring, go for bamboo or eucalyptus—both are highly renewable resources. Stick with paints that contain all-natural ingredients, like mineral pigments, plant oils, crushed limestone and milk. Find window treatments made of fabric, like organic cotton. Mini blinds are made of PVC and can give off gas when heated by the sun. Avoid furniture made of plywood, particleboard and medium-density fiberboard—the glue contains formaldehyde, and the pieces can wear down faster and release chemical fumes. Spring for a quality freestanding humidifier with a HEPA filter to deal with any pollutants. I’m stressed about getting it all done before baby arrives! Any tips? From decorating the nursery to getting the right baby gear, there’s a lot to do. And you are on a deadline. There’s only a small group of things that must be done before baby arrives: buying essentials like a car seat and crib (or bassinet); stocking up on newborn must-haves like clothes, bedding and diapers; getting feeding gear (if you’re bottle-feeding; if you’re breastfeeding, all baby needs is you!); and doing some light baby-proofing.
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Focus on those items first. Once you have that stuff done, you can move on. Write a checklist to stay organized. List your to-dos in order of importance. That way, if the things at the very bottom aren’t done by the time baby arrives, it’s okay because the big stuff is out of the way. And don’t be shy about asking for help! No one can do it all without going crazy.
How do I know which car seat is safest for baby? A car seat should fit both baby and the car, and meet safety standards set by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). You’ll have to decide whether you want an infant car seat or a convertible seat (Consumer Reports recommends parents get an infant seat, because their testing found it provides a better, safer fit for newborns.) Get baby’s car seat before she arrives, and install it and learn how to work it, so you’ll be a pro when it’s time to strap baby in. Be sure the car seat fits as snugly as possible to the vehicle’s seat. Press on the car seat and pull the straps until they are as tight as possible. If the seat belts in your car don’t have an automatic locking mechanism, you can purchase a locking clip. And if you’re still worried about whether you installed the car seat correctly, have it checked at a safety inspection station. Go to NHTSA.gov to find a nearby location. >
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Get the inside scoop on fertility, pregnancy, birth and everything baby, plus chat with thousands of mommies and mommies-to-be.
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Find info you need, when you need it—from getting pregnant and being a mama-to-be to baby’s first year and caring for toddlers.
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Join in conversations happening 24/7 with other moms, plus the best stores and services—right in your area.
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From the creators of The Knot, thebump.com is the go-to website for hip moms-to-be and new moms.
nest
How can I design a nursery that will grow with baby? Pick a theme (if you want), but stick to thematic items that are easily replaceable, like wall decals, lamps and toys. Big-ticket items like furniture should be neutral, so they‘ll work with different bedding and art down the line. If you’re buying a dresser that you’ll use as a changing table, be sure it will look okay once you no longer need that changing pad. Going with a convertible crib? Make sure you love the way it will look as a bed later on (otherwise, you may want to skip the conversion kit and buy a twin bed instead).
good for three months. Freeze in single or double portions and use freezer zip-top bags. They save room in your freezer, make for quick thawing (just submerge the bag in hot water) and let you defrost only what you need.
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I want to plan out baby’s birth announcements before she arrives. What should I do? It’s a great idea to prep before baby arrives. Whether you choose a printed announcement or an e-card, pick your design in advance. If you opt for printed announcements, figure out what you’d like to write (except the birth details, of course) and if you’ll include a photo. Then it’s easy to pop in the particulars after the birth. Buy your stamps and address the envelopes now— believe us, it’ll be way easier than after baby’s here. You can go online to sites like Tiny Prints, Minted or Paper Culture to choose and customize photo birth announcements. Or go to Etsy to find unique announcements—some sellers even have custom ones you can print out yourself at home. If you don’t want to mail anything, send e-announcements. They’re easy, thrifty and ecofriendly. We love Paperless Post, Pingg and Evite for stylish e-cards. If your friends and family are supertech-savvy, use Red Stamp, an iPad and iPhone app that offers stylish announcements you can send by email, text, Facebook, Twitter or even paper postcards. If you’re more of a brick-andmortar type, drop by your local stationer’s shop and choose a bespoke announcement that fits your style—but expect to spend more for it. You can also order custom-printed cards online from stationers like Luxe Paperie.
How can I prepare my pets for when baby comes home? To keep your pets from getting too stressed when baby comes home, prepare them throughout your pregnancy. Introduce your pet to new noises and smells. Turn on your infant swings or play recordings of babies crying. Get your pets to sniff the stuff you’re buying for baby, like diapers, lotions and shampoos. What are some Prep them for new rules, good meals like when and where they’re to cook and allowed in the house. If freeze now so I you can, train pets not to jump on the crib or into your can have them lap (that’s where baby will ready when be!), or engage in potentially baby comes? harmful behaviors like Soups, stews, swatting or nibbling. casseroles, And don’t forget to have chilies, lasagna your animals checked out by the vet before baby comes and pasta sauces along to make sure they’re are best for healthy and up-to-date freezing and stay on all their vaccinations.
Tips and ideas for baby’s room at TheBump.com/nursery thebump.com
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pediatric services guıde
Flanders Pediatric Dentistry Edward M. Sonnenberg, DDS
years in service 37 education Columbia University
Bernadette A. Lapena, DDS
years in service 15 education New York University
College of Dentistry
Amy Planz, DDS
10 University of Maryland School of Dentistry years in service
education
Michael Neiman, DDS
7 New York University School of Dentistry
years in service education
Joseph M. Arvay, DMD
years in service Over 20 education New Jersey Dental School
Michael Goldkind, DMD
3 education University of Connecticut School of Dental Medicine years in service
Walking into this joint dental and orthodontic practice is like entering a kind of playground. From Star Wars to hockey, imaginative décor and themed rooms make this office one of a kind. For 32 years, its expert team has cared for young patients through their 20s. Dr. Edward Sonnenberg, named Top Pediatric Dentist in the New Jersey Monthly Magazine, tells what sets his office apart and what parents can expect from their child’s dental care. What happens in the first visit?
I’ll always start with a toothbrush— something the child recognizes. Then we go over brushing to get the child comfortable, but kids can get stage fright. Sometimes I won’t do a cleaning until two or three visits. I let the child’s actions guide me.
contact
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230 Route 206 South Building #3, 2nd Floor Flanders, NJ 07836 (973) 927-2260 FlandersPediatricDentistry.com
What sets your clinic apart?
The office is 6,500 square feet, and the rooms have themes. Parents say, “We’ve never seen an office like this!” That’s a compliment. We treat children from birth through college. Dentists cover restoration of teeth, and orthodontists [handle] movement of teeth. What’s your best advice for first-time moms?
At bath time, designate a specific washcloth to wipe your child’s gum pads. Do that early so the child gets comfortable with fingers in [his or her] mouth.
delivery
labor day
The day you deliver your baby will be one of the , most days of your life.
unpredictable
stage 1 labor (aka holy crap, this kid is coming!)
Labor, the first stage of the birth process, lasts from the first signs baby’s coming (see “Signs of Labor” on the opposite page) until your cervix is fully dilated and ready to deliver.
the kickoff
Some moms-to-be know when their body starts prepping for delivery by one of those mucusy, watery events. For others, the
craziest
process happens gradually: Your cervix thins out and begins to dilate.
contractions: the real deal
You’ll definitely know you’re in labor when you start to have regular contractions, which will feel like a strong tightening in your belly and could be super-painful or just a little uncomfortable (it all depends on the mom-
to-be). These are different from Braxton-Hicks contractions, because the pressure usually starts in your back and moves forward to your lower belly. In the Braxton-Hicks, it’s often just in your belly and infrequent. Real contractions will start about 15 minutes apart and last about 60 to 90 seconds, and then speed up to about 5 minutes apart.
why it hurts so much
The goal of those contractions is to get your cervix to dilate to make way for baby. How long you’ll be in early labor—this time period when contractions are there but aren’t quite as urgent as they’ll be when you’re in active labor— varies a lot, but the average for first-time moms is 6 to 12 hours.
make it count
Once you think you’re in labor, start watching the clock (use our Contraction Counter at TheBump.com/contractions to keep track). Call your OB’s office and let them know what’s happening. The doctor will tell you at what point to head to the hospital, but be warned: It might not be right away. That’s because many hospitals won’t admit you until you’re in active labor, so during early labor, you’re probably better off at home.
your to-dos
So what do you do while hanging out at home? Make sure you’re finished packing for the hospital and try to relax. Staying calm and doing deep breathing can actually help your body work its dilation magic. So can changing positions often, so try alternating moving around
with resting. Take a walk, nap, shower, listen to music, ask your partner for a back massage— whatever you feel like doing.
starting active labor
You’ll probably know when your body shifts into active labor: Your contractions will suddenly require more of your attention. If you could walk and talk during a contraction before, you probably can’t now. You’ll likely be in the hospital at this point (if not, go ASAP!), and you could be in bed, walking around, sitting in a birthing tub or on a birthing ball. This is when things start to really hurt—and when most moms-to-be opt for pain relief. Regular, strong contractions during active labor make your cervix dilate from about 4 centimeters to 7 centimeters.
making the transition
During the time when your cervix dilates from about 7 centimeters to 10 centimeters— the transition phase—it will be pretty intense. Yikes! The contractions come even faster and more furiously, lasting about 60 to 90 seconds each. And because it’s overwhelming, some women feel like giving up. Just know that “I can’t do it anymore” is a totally normal way to feel, and you definitely can do it.
the urge to push
You may also start to feel the notorious “urge to push” (kinda like having to go number two badly—but worse). The problem? You shouldn’t push until your OB or nurse checks your cervix to make sure it’s fully dilated (otherwise, you risk injuring it). >
signs of labor How will you know it’s really time? Look for these clues labor’s coming: Loss of the mucus plug This thick mucus (like a glob of snot) might exit your bod. Broken water It may be a trickle, as opposed to a gush. If your water breaks, call the doctor. Regular contractions If they’re five minutes apart, it’s probably time! urge to clean Many women also get a nesting instinct right before.
New Jersey thebump.com
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delivery
stage 2 pushing and delivery (aka why you did kegels)
stage 3 delivery of the placenta (aka sorry, but you’re not done)
Once you’re fully dilated and you get the go-ahead to push...well, push! You’ll get some coaching as you bear down at each contraction. For some women, especially moms who have birthed before, the pushing stage may only last a few minutes. For others, it can take a few hours. This stage comes with the ultimate reward: your brand-new baby.
After baby’s born (hooray!), you’ve got to deliver the placenta. Your uterus continues to contract. (Don’t worry—these contractions don’t normally hurt!) Those postbaby contractions cause the placenta to separate from the uterus and leave the body. This usually takes less than half an hour. Then you really are (finally) done. Woo-hoo! Now enjoy that baby and try to rest. >
pain relief
yo w c h !
it is
it h ow
Whether you go all-natural or get drugs, there are ways to hurt less. t wha
’s do
ne
sh you
oul
d kn
ow
Using the same breathing techniques that chill you out when you’re stressed to deal with the ouchies.
At the start of each contraction, take a really deep “cleansing” breath like at the beginning of a yoga class.
Get more guidance and plenty of practice by taking a childbirth class. See page 92 for options.
relaxation techniques
Operating under the notion that pain is a state of mind. Trying to get more comfortable and to distract yourself.
Imagine yourself in a happy place. Play calming songs. Get a massage from your partner. Stuff like that.
It’s hard to know exactly what’s going to work once you get there, so have a whole bag of tricks to try.
epidural
Usually a combo of meds that block your brain from feeling pain and that (mostly) numb your lower half.
It’s delivered throughout labor and delivery through a tube inserted into your back.
You’ll be stuck in bed, since you’ll be hooked up to an IV and a fetal monitor to track baby’s heart rate.
Medications like morphine, Demerol, Stadol and Nubain, which are all narcotics.
Systemic meds are injected into the bloodstream or a muscle and affect the entire body.
They only really take the edge off. You may get nauseated, and baby can be exposed to them.
breathing
systemic medication
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Tender Times Doula Don’t know much about babies? Need an extra pair of hands to help? Tender Times provides in-home doula support after your baby arrives. Tender Times helps with: breastfeeding
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Serving Northern New Jersey and lower Rockland since 2000.
4 vaccinations baby will need from birth to six months
A look at some of the common vaccines your child may recieve. Hepatitis B Vaccine (HepB)
The first dose should be given before she’s discharged from the hospital after birth. She’ll get the second dose between one to two months and the third between six to 18 months.
Pneumococcal Vaccine (PCV)
Streptococcus pneumonia is an illness that can be serious and even lead to death. Baby should get this at 2 months, 4 months and 6 months, and a booster given between 12 and 15 months.
Diphtheria and Tetanus Toxoids and Acellular Pertussis Vaccine (DTaP)
It’s a combination vaccine to protect against diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. Your child will get it at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, between 15 and 18 months and 4 to 6 years.
Rotavirus Vaccine (RV)
It’s not a shot— this vaccine is taken orally. Baby will get it between 2 months and 4 months of age, in two to three doses, depending on the brand of vaccine she gets.
Find more new mom tips at TheBump.com/newborn
delivery
delivery room tools forceps These are generally used to try to shift baby’s position and may also help guide the head out.
scissors Just in case you (sorry! really!) need an episiotomy.
vacuum If pushing is proving ineffective, your doc will use this to pull the baby out with suction.
amniotic hook It looks a lot scarier than it feels, we promise. This long crochet-like hook is used to break your water if it hasn’t yet.
hemostat This clamp is used for containing a bleed and clamping the umbilical cord for cutting.
scalpel This will probably only be used if you have a c-section.
want to know more? Take a childbirth class! These are some popular choices. Lamaze Used by one-fourth of mothers, Lamaze is the most popular method. You’ll learn simple, natural strategies to deal during labor, like rhythmic breathing, hydrotherapy, massage, position changes and walking. Your partner will learn to encourage and support you.
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Bradley Natural childbirth is the goal of this method—about 90 percent of class participants end up delivering without meds. The Bradley technique focuses on self-awareness and trusting your body, and emphasizes relaxation (not distraction) for dealing with pain and stress.
Alexander This method teaches posture and movement techniques to ease muscle tension and improve balance, coordination, back pain and digestion. With it, you’ll learn to coordinate your breathing and strengthen your pelvic muscles in preparation for delivery.
HypnoBirthing No, not like that guy you saw in Vegas. HypnoBirthing relies on the power of suggestion to help you relax and let your muscles work to give birth. Affirmations and visualizations are used to guide thoughts and breathing and to decrease stress and fear.
See amazing birth photos at TheBump.com/birthpics thebump.com
delivery
my birth story Bloomfield mom Danielle Holliday’s fast, crazy birth—in the hospital parking lot!
an early start
“we’re not going to make it!”
Thankfully, Eric had lined the passenger seat with a plastic garbage bag and an old towel. I got in the car and we started driving toward St. Joseph’s Medical Center in Paterson, which was where we had delivered our first two children. As we turned onto the parkway for the nearly 20-minute drive to the hospital, I quickly realized we didn’t have that much time. “We’re not going to make it!” I said to Eric.
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plan b
Eric immediately turned the car around and headed to Mountainside Hospital in Montclair, which was only 5 minutes from our house. He pulled up to the hospital and yelled to the valet, “My wife is in labor!” Eric got me a wheelchair and opened the car door, but I said, “I’m not getting into that thing—the baby is coming now!”
welcome, amalia grace!
Eric looked around, but no one was there to help us. He got into position, and in one small push, Amalia Grace Holliday was born at 10 a.m., right into her dad’s arms. She was perfect. The hospital staff rushed over, cut the umbilical cord and brought my husband and daughter to the NICU. Although it was a crazy birth experience, I honestly felt great and was relieved that Amalia had arrived safely.
birth stats baby’s name Amalia Grace size at birth 8 pounds, 14 ounces hospital Mountainside Hospital, Montclair, (973) 429-6000
Read more birth stories at TheBump.com/birthstory thebump.com
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When I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I woke up at 8 a.m. while the rest of my family was still asleep. I felt a little achy, like I was having menstrual cramps, but not contractions. My first two children, Garrett and Lillian, were born after their due dates, so I was assuming this baby would be late too. I took a shower, but by the time I got out, I was on my hands and knees in so much pain. My husband, Eric, called the doctor, who said we should come in to the hospital right away just to be safe. My mom was visiting, so she and Eric helped me get dressed. As we walked out to the car, my water broke. That’s when I realized it: I was actually in labor.
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delivery
delivered— and then...
You’ve been so focused on delivery, but what about those minutes and hours right after? by erika rasmusson janes
you’ll get the shakes
Don’t be surprised if you feel really jittery right after the birth (vaginal or c-section). “Most women will experience full-body shaking after delivery,” says Michele Hakakha, MD, an ob-gyn in Beverly Hills, California, and author of Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy. This is normal and probably has nothing to do with being cold. Rather, “the shakes occur from the immediate hormonal shifts that happen after delivery.” They might also be a reaction to anesthesia or an endorphin release. Don’t worry—they’ll go away within a few minutes or, at most, a few hours. You’ll have to just ride this one out.
stitches down there are likely
You’ve probably heard that episiotomies aren’t a routine procedure, but the truth is, even if the doctor doesn’t make an incision, you might need some stitches (sorry!), since minor vaginal tearing happens in as many as 75 percent of vaginal births—and it’s more common for first-time mamas. The good news is, if you opt for an epidural, you probably won’t feel the tear or incision (or the stitches). And if you have an unmedicated birth, you’ll get a shot to numb the area first.
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your baby might not be interested in breastfeeding
You’ve probably heard that it’s important to breastfeed as soon as possible after birth to start a nursing relationship early. That’s true, but don’t be surprised if baby isn’t interested in feeding right away. “Most babies usually don’t want to eat for 15 to 30 minutes after delivery,” Hakakha says. So don’t push her to nurse if she doesn’t seem into it, but still hold her close. “During this time, skin-to-skin contact is very important to help initiate bonding for both baby and mom,” says Hakakha. “So take this time to look at her, smell her and feel her.”
you’ll feel like a punching bag
You think people loved touching your pregnant belly? Wait ’til the doctors and nurses get their hands on your postpartum pooch. “After delivery, the uterus has to shrink from the size of a large watermelon down to the size of a cantaloupe,” says Yvonne Bohn, MD, coauthor of The Mommy Docs’ Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. Oxytocin helps this process by causing uterine contractions—nope, you’re not done with those—but your doctor or midwife might also try to help it along a bit. “They’ll massage your uterus to help it contract down,” Bohn says. “And your nurse will press on your belly and massage it every 15 minutes for the first two hours after delivery. This can be very painful, especially if you didn’t have an epidural.”
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Sure, you know the drill—you’ve read about it a thousand times and watched it on A Baby Story. Your doctor tells you to push, and you do—a lot—and then your new (slightly slimy) baby is hoisted into your arms. Or you get wheeled into an operating room for a c-section and have similar baby hoisting from behind a curtain. But then what?
there will be blood
“Within the 10 minutes after delivery, you lose more blood than would fill a pint-size container of ice cream,” says Hakakha. In the days postpartum, it’s normal to experience large amounts of bleeding after you’ve been sitting or lying still or while breastfeeding. It’s also normal to pass some large clots in the 24 hours after delivery, Hakakha says. (But if you’re passing clots that are bigger than an apricot, or passing them every hour, let your doc know.) You’ll continue to bleed— at a decreasing rate, similar to a period—for four to six weeks postdelivery.
your, um, lady parts can swell
Not surprisingly, vaginal deliveries do a number on your nether region. But you might be shocked at how much you can swell as you heal down there—especially if
you pushed for a long time. Take it from us: Ice packs are your friend. They’ll help numb any discomfort and bring the swelling down.
you’ll sweat
You’ll likely find yourself sweating quite a bit during the first weeks postbaby. “And by sweating, I mean tremendous night sweats,” says Hakakha. That’s because your body’s estrogen level will massively drop, messing with your body’s temperature regulation. Don’t worry—it will get back to normal within a month or two. The Bump experts: Michele Hakakha , MD, an ob-gyn in Beverly Hills, CA, and author of Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy; and yvonne Bohn , MD, coauthor of The Mommy Docs’ Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Birth
post-c-section shockers If you’re having a cesarean, be prepared for this surprising stuff. “vaginal car wash” This bath for your lady parts will come sometime after your c-section and involves a nurse giving you a rinsedown with a peri bottle and patting with a dry cloth—the point is to clean up any blood leaking out after the surgery.
inflatable boots If you wake up to find yourself wearing weird boots that inflate and deflate on you, don’t be alarmed. Sequential compression devices may seem a little weird at first, but they work to improve your circulation and prevent blood clots.
being stuck in bed After your surgery, you’ll have to stay in bed for at least 12 to 24 hours, since the spinal or epidural will make your legs too weak to walk. Luckily, you’ll be surrounded by nurses— and probably some loved ones—who can help you care for baby.
gas pains—in your shoulders When your bowels become sluggish after surgery, the resulting gas pain can press on the diaphragm, and that pain can extend to the shoulders. To combat this, your nurse will offer you antigas meds and encourage you to walk around as soon as possible.
More advice at TheBump.com/labor
delivery How to get to the hospital, labor positions, silent births and more…
I’m nervous about getting to the hospital when I go into labor. How can I prepare? You’re right to want to be über-prepared. It’s important to create a plan and a backup plan for getting to the hospital. Pick a designated driver—and have a backup one on call in case the first person can’t make it in time. Take a tour of the hospital and do a couple practice runs so you and your chauffeur know the route to the maternity ward entrance, says Elise Harper, MD, an ob-gyn in Frisco, Texas. Find out the procedure for dropping patients off, so you’ll know if your driver should leave you there and then park, or can park at the curb for a few minutes and escort you in. If you usually take public transportation, you should probably come up with another way to get to the hospital during labor. We recommend having a reputable car service on speed dial. Make sure your car is in perfect working condition (take it in for a tune-up and oil change now!) and keep the gas tank full. You’ll also want to prepare your and your partner’s hospital bags and put them near your front door. Are more babies born during a full moon? Like most old wives’ tales, this tale (key word: tale) is not true, despite the fact that it may seem that way to doctors and nurses, says Kelly M. Kasper, MD, ob-gyn at the Indiana University School of Medicine. As the theory goes, since the moon’s gravitational pull is strong enough to influence
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the tides, it’s also strong enough to affect a woman’s body—namely, her menstrual cycle and, if she’s pregnant and nearing her due date, her contractions. But really, there’s no scientific proof to the “more babies during a full moon” theory.
What are the different positions for birth? In the movies, it seems like the mom-tobe is always leaning back on an inclined hospital bed with her legs in stirrups, pushing. And that’s most likely the position you’ll find yourself in if you choose an epidural, since you’ll need to stay in bed, hooked up to monitors. But there’s definitely more than one way to birth a baby. If you’re not getting an epidural, you can use trial and error to see what’s most comfortable, says Michele Hakakha, MD, an ob-gyn in private practice in Beverly Hills, California. Different positions may help you get the baby out more easily and with less pain than others. Some laboring women try standing, walking, sitting, squatting and getting on all fours. Each position has pros and cons. Squatting, for example, uses gravity, encourages a quicker descent and requires less effort to bear down, but it’s also hard to stay that way for a long time. Being on your hands and knees can help alleviate back labor and can make delivering a baby who’s “sunny-side” (face) up easier, but it can also be hard to see what’s happening. You can also sit or lie facedown over a birth ball or lie on your side.
What breathing techniques can I use during labor? Most practitioners don’t preach a strict breathing pattern (like “hee hee, hoo hoo, ha ha”). That’s because by the time labor pains start, any breathing techniques a mom-to-be learns tend to go out the window. Instead, tune in to your own natural breathing rhythm, be it slow, deep breaths from your diaphragm, or faster, shallow breathing—whatever feels right, says childbirth educator Lisa Gould Rubin. Once contractions start, try this: At the beginning of each contraction, take a “cleansing” breath, which can help you release tension and relax more deeply. As labor goes on, find your own rhythmic breathing pattern. If this doesn’t work (or stops working), focus on the sound you make when you’re in pain. For some, it’s a low hum; for others, it’s a robust “aah.” Turn this natural exclamation into a rhythmic pattern to help you cope with labor pains. My mom had a c-section. Does that mean I’ll have one? Unless you inherited some physical quality that required your mom to have a c-section—like an unusually shaped pelvis—there’s no reason her c-section increases your chance of needing one, says Stuart Fischbein, MD, ob-gyn. Many different factors can increase a woman’s odds of having a c-section, like the
position or size of the baby, the mom’s condition or the doctor’s experience. To lower your odds, avoid labor induction unless it’s medically necessary, since the c-section rate among moms who are induced is twice that of moms who go into labor on their own. But remember, a c-section isn’t always a bad thing and can save baby’s life. What’s most important is that your baby is born healthy— not how you deliver her.
What’s a silent birth? Despite the name, a silent birth doesn’t mean a laboring woman can’t make noise. Rather, the delivery room should be free of TV, phones and chitchat. Some believe the words a baby hears during his labor and birth may affect him for life. So eliminating words eliminates any negative effect on baby. While there’s no scientific evidence to support the idea that a silent birth preserves baby’s psyche, it is true that women labor best in calm, supportive environments, says Michael P. Nageotte, MD, ob-gyn. The Bump experts: Elise Harper , MD, ob-gyn at Health Central OBGYN; Kelly M. Kasper , MD, ob-gyn at the Indiana University School of Medicine; Michele Hakakha , MD, ob-gyn; Lisa Gould Rubin, certified childbirth educator and doula; Stuart Fischbein , MD, ob-gyn and coauthor of Fearless Pregnancy; and Michael P. Nageotte , MD, ob-gyn and medical director of the MemorialCare Center for Women
What’s the difference between a midwife and a doula? A midwife is a health care provider, and a doula is a childbirth coach. Midwives can give prenatal care and deliver babies, while a doula will help with techniques to manage pain during labor and provide support during baby’s early days. A postpartum doula can assist a new mom with things like newborn care, meal preparation and household cleaning.
Tips for easier labor at TheBump.com/easylabor
basics
baby health
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Even perfectly healthy babies get about eight checkups the first year. Plus, baby’s immune system is still developing, so you might be making quite a few sick visits too.
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well visits
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends babies get checkups at birth, 3 to 5 days after birth and then at 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18 and 24 months. Here’s what will likely happen at each of them. Taking measurements The doctor will always measure baby’s length (aka his height), weight and head circumference, and record them on a growth chart to see how baby compares with other infants his age and to make sure there are no signs of problems. Developmental surveillance At most visits, the doctor will also gauge baby’s development by observing his behaviors and asking you about milestones. Psychosocial/Behavioral assessment
The doctor will ask questions about baby’s behavior and observe his actions and reactions. This helps rule out psychological or behavioral issues. Physical exam Baby will get a head-totoe exam from the doctor at each visit too— ears, eyes, mouth, skin, heart and lungs, abdomen, hips and legs, and genitalia will all get checked to be sure they look healthy. In the beginning, the doctor will examine the soft spots on baby’s head (fontanels), which typically disappear within 12 to 18 months when the skull bones fuse together. They’ll also check the shape of baby’s head to make sure it’s getting round—some babies get “flat head.” (Don’t worry. It’s easily treated.)
at birth A pediatrician will see baby within 24 hours of birth. “We do a full exam, looking for normal body function. We look for basic newborn reflexes, skin tone, alertness and hip stability,” says Anita Chandra-Puri, MD, a pediatrician at Northwestern Memorial Physicians Group in Chicago. Hearing screening The doctor will make sure baby’s hearing is A-OK with at least one of two tests: The otoacoustic emission (OAE) uses a mini earphone and microphone to measure sound reflection in the ear canal. For the auditory brainstem response (ABR) test, electrodes are placed on baby’s head to see how the hearing nerve responds to sound.
metabolic/hemoglobin screening Baby will need to have a blood test—drawn from her heel—between birth and her two-month birthday. “The metabolic screening checks for sickle-cell disease, hypothyroidism or other inherited disorders,” says Chandra-Puri.
in the future Your pediatrician will likely ask to see baby sometime in his first week to make sure everything still seems to be going well. The doctor will measure baby to make sure his growth is on track (and he’s eating enough), observe his development and behavior, and perform another physical exam. Tuberculosis test At the one-month visit, your pediatrician may test baby for tuberculosis, an airborne infection that can cause fevers, a persistent cough, heavy and fast breathing, swollen glands, night sweats, weight loss and poor growth. Lead test The doctor may give baby a lead screening to make sure she hasn’t been exposed to dangerous levels of lead, which can affect her developmental and behavioral growth. Development screening At nine months, baby will likely get a more formal developmental test than he’s had before. The doctor will ask you questions about baby’s growth and behavior, and also may ask you to play with baby during the screening to see how he behaves and moves. This is to see if he’s learning basic skills at a normal rate and will determine whether baby should receive more testing for developmental delays. Your child may receive these screenings more frequently if he’s at a higher risk for developmental problems because of preterm birth or low birth weight, or has a sibling who has an autism spectrum disorder. Oral checks The doctor may periodically give baby’s gums and teeth (once she has them) a peek to evaluate her oral health. Immunizations There are a lot to keep track of! See pages 102, 104 and 106 for the full scoop on what baby will likely get when. >
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common baby symptoms
gas Air can get into baby’s belly and, as
he’s digesting, get stuck. It might happen just because baby’s gastrointestinal tract is immature. Crying, fussing and bottlefeeding can cause gas too. Spot it If baby has gas pain, his belly might look inflated, or he might arch his back, act fussy or squirm. Usually, gas pain is worst when baby’s about six to eight weeks old. Help it Lay baby down and gently bicycle his legs forward and backward, and try pushing his knees to his chest, repeating several times, says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City. If that doesn’t help, you can try infant simethicone drops, which are available over the counter—they work for some babies, but not for others, and they’re completely safe. If your doc gives you the go-ahead, a glycerin suppository could help too. Know that gas pains are completely normal and aren’t usually cause for medical concern. Babies tend to outgrow them.
spitting up The valve that closes the stomach off from the esophagus can be weak in a newborn, so until it gets stronger, baby’s food can easily come back out—especially when he eats too much or too fast. Spot it Spitting up (also known as “reflux” or GER—gastroesophageal reflux) is just spitting up, as long as baby seems content after. It’s a medical problem if baby’s coughing, choking, turning blue or has poor weight gain, or if it’s projectile vomiting. In those cases, it could be GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease), which is more serious and could require medical treatment. Help it Work on prevention. Stop halfway through a feeding (when you switch breasts or he’s drunk half his bottle) and burp baby so he has extra time to digest and you get excess air out before it gets stuck in there. Then burp him at the end of the feeding too. Try out different positions, like laying baby on his side while you pat his back, and keep him upright for 20 minutes after a feeding. >
baby’s immunization schedule Hepatitis B Vaccine (HepB)
When If baby doesn’t get the hepatitis B vaccine at the hospital, she’ll need three doses: at 0, 1 and 6 months Possible side effects Brief soreness and fussiness
Rotavirus Vaccine (RV)
When Between 2 months and 4 months of age, in two to three doses, depending on the brand of vaccine she gets. She may also need another dose at 6 months, so double-check with your doctor Possible side effects Fussiness, and some babies may have mild, temporary diarrhea or may vomit
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Haemophilus Influenzae Type B Conjugate Vaccine (Hib)
When At 2 months, 4 months and 6 months, and between 12 and 15 months Possible side effects Fever, redness and/or tenderness at the injection site
Diphtheria and Tetanus Toxoids and Acellular Pertussis Vaccine (DTaP)
When At 2 months, 4 months and 6 months, and between 15 and 18 months and 4 to 6 years Possible side effects Tenderness, swelling, redness, fever, loss of appetite within two days of receiving the shot
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basics
fever “If a baby has a fever of 100.4
degrees or higher in the first two months of life, call the doctor,” says Alanna Levine, MD, pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, New York. “It could be a sign of a very serious infection.” Of course, there’s a chance it could be no big deal—baby’s immune system is still developing and could be setting off smoke alarms—but it’s better to be safe. Spot it Get an easy-to-read thermometer. For newborns, taking a rectal temperature is usually most accurate (sorry!). Baby may be extra sleepy or fussy if she has a fever, so take her temperature if she seems off. Help it Follow the doctor’s instructions for how to treat it—if baby is very young, this might even mean a trip to the ER. After the newborn period, it’s less of a concern, so it’s okay to give baby a dose of infant acetaminophen and see if her temperature goes down. Remember, baby won’t be ready for ibuprofen until she’s six months old.
Pneumococcal Vaccine (PCV)
When At 2 months, 4 months and 6 months, and a booster given between 12 months and 15 months Possible side effects Low-grade fever, redness, tenderness at the injection site
Inactivated Poliovirus Vaccine (IPV)
When At 2 months, 4 months, 6 to 18 months and 4 to 6 years Possible side effects Soreness or redness near the site of injection; an allergic reaction rarely occurs
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excessive crying Any number of issues
could have baby wailing his lungs out. He could be hungry, teething or need a diaper change, or it might be something more significant, like a hair tourniquet (one piece of hair wrapped very tightly around a finger or toe—this happens more than you may think!), an obstruction in his intestine or a food allergy. Or it could be colic, which begins around three weeks and lasts until about 12 weeks of age. Spot it Even colicky babies take a break now and then, so if your child has been crying nonstop for an hour or more, there’s probably something more concerning to investigate. Help it First, make sure there’s nothing obvious causing his pain. Then, try to troubleshoot: Holding, rocking or singing to your baby or toddler may be enough to soothe his tears. Pacifiers can also help, as can movement (swinging or rocking) or white noise (a fan, washing machine, dishwasher or other background noise). >
Influenza Vaccine
When Annually, from age 6 months Possible side effects Fever, aches, soreness, redness or swelling at the injection site
Measles, Mumps and Rubella Vaccine (MMR)
When One dose at 12 to 15 months and a second dose at 4 to 6 years Possible side effects Rash, slight fever, joint aches, swelling in neck and salivary glands a week or two after receiving the shot
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basics
weird stuff not to worry about
cradle cap Baby’s dry, flaky scalp is pretty
gross. But it’s also no big deal. This usually disappears within baby’s first few months. Until then, try rubbing baby oil on the patches two or three times a week and using a soft baby brush or toothbrush to slough away the flakes. Call the doctor If it spreads beyond baby’s scalp or seems to be growing more severe. Baby may need a prescription ointment.
explosive poop You haven’t been
officially initiated into parenthood until you’ve had to deal with a diaper explosion or two. That’s because newborn poop is mostly liquid, with some mustardseed texture mixed in (especially if you breastfeed), so it easily, um, propels. Call the doctor If you spot any signs of blood—that’s usually tinges of red or black.
baby boobage Those wacky hormones that plagued your entire pregnancy can cause breast tissue to develop in baby, since it
Hepatitis A Vaccine
When One dose at 12 to 23 months and a second dose six months after Possible side effects Soreness at the injection site, headache, loss of appetite, tiredness
takes awhile for the hormones to wear off. But don’t stress—they’re generally nothing to be concerned about and should go away in time. Call the doctor If there’s redness or fever. Those may be a sign of something serious.
constant sneezing What’s the deal?
Don’t forget that a newborn is new to this world and everything in it, and as a result, she’s extra-sensitive to lots of things you’re already immune to. So if she’s sneezing up a storm but not actually sick, she’s probably just trying to banish any little foreign particles. Call the doctor If baby’s sneezes are accompanied by wheezing or you’re worried at all about her ability to breathe or swallow. The Bump experts: Anita Chandra-Puri, MD, pediatrician at Northwestern Memorial Physicians Group in Chicago; Alanna Levine, MD, pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, NY; and Cheryl Wu, MD, pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City
Meningococcal Conjugate Vaccine, Quadrivalent (MCV4)
When It’s recommended for high-risk children between ages 2 and 10 years to get one dose Possible side effects Redness, soreness at the injection site and fever
Varicella (Chicken Pox) Vaccine
When One dose at 12 to 15 months and a second dose at 4 to 6 years Possible side effects Soreness or swelling at the injection site, mild fever, rash
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Check baby’s symptoms at TheBump.com/babyhealth thebump.com
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basics
freaking out, new mom?
That’s totally normal—but here’s why you should worry a lot less. by sarah yang
sids
These are normal thoughts for new mamas. But keep in mind that sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is rare (it happens in 0.054 percent of babies), and you can significantly reduce baby’s risk of SIDS and suffocation by putting him to sleep on his back; buying a well-made crib (and putting it together properly); keeping pillows, stuffed animals, bumpers and thick blankets out of the crib; and keeping baby’s room cool.
take a few weeks (blame the hormones!). But baby does bond with you while he’s in utero, listening to your voice and heartbeat. Within his first week, he’ll even recognize your smell. To feel closer to him, try skin-to-skin contact. Hold him often or wear him in a carrier. Do fun activities together (and take breaks from him too!). And sure, we know a few moms who didn’t feel an instant connection, but we don’t know any who never developed a one-of-akind bond with their babes.
dropping baby
leaving him with caregivers
This is a valid concern—every six minutes, a young child is treated in the ER for a stairrelated injury. But you can prevent many tripping and falling accidents by doing some baby-proofing. If your stairs are carpeted, double-check that the carpet isn’t loose and has no holes. If they’re a hard surface, install gripping pads for traction. If that’s not an option, avoid going up and down the stairs with baby in your stocking feet; it’s much easier to slip. Keep objects off/away from the steps, and encourage everyone to take their time on the stairs when carrying baby.
Your baby is sure to suffer bumps and bruises in day care. That’s why your center is likely full of staffers trained for medical emergencies. Not sure if yours are? Ask. Stay in regular contact with the staff so you know exactly what goes on during the day. Leaving baby at home with a nanny? Make a detailed schedule of baby’s day and create a log so your nanny can record daily events.
“I worry my husband will fall while carrying our daughter up the stairs.” cindylou_hoo
not bonding
“What if I just feel the same way about him as I do about other people’s kids?” supernova23
While some moms bond with baby right away, others take awhile to warm up. In fact, it could
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“My newest fear is that while he’s at day care, some kid will poke him in the eye, and he’ll go blind.” princessa84
being unprepared
“I’m worried we won’t have the nursery done before baby’s born.” pip_cheerio Get a safe car seat and install it. Pick out a bassinet or crib. Get some clothes, receiving blankets, wipes and diapers. And remind yourself that everything else is icing on the cake—meaning it’s not worth stressing about! You can do it later.
* Names have been changed Baby safety tips at TheBump.com/safety
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“I spend at least 30 minutes every night thinking about everything that could go wrong: SIDS, breathing issues, choking and more.” Blue_belle*
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basics
breastfeeding made easier It may not be a breeze, but you can cut down on problems with these tips. by Jennifer L.W. Fink
Hate to break it to you, but while breastfeeding has some pretty amazing benefits for baby, it can be a tough skill to master for some moms. But if you do have problems, don’t give up right away! Most times, it does get easier, especially if you use this advice for preventing and dealing with some common breastfeeding issues. You’ve got this.
heightened in that first hour after birth. They’re neurologically wired to find the breast. And when they’re allowed to use those senses to latch on by themselves, the way they’re instinctually wired to, they tend to latch on correctly,” says Cathy Carothers, BLA, IBCLC, president of the International Lactation Consultant Association.
do your research
go skin-to-skin
start early
Holding baby right after birth can help you get off to a good start, so cuddle baby as soon as you can after delivery and give breastfeeding a shot right then. “Babies’ senses—their seeing, hearing and senses of touch and smell—are
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This will require some stripping on both your and baby’s parts. Place your unclothed baby on your bare chest when she’s fussy or struggling with feeding. (If you’re modest, cover up with a blanket.) The close contact will calm her (and you!) and trigger her feeding instincts.
learn the signs
Respond early to baby’s rooting behaviors and you’ll cut down on frustration for both of you. “When you see your baby chewing on his hands, making mouthing motions or turning his head from side to side and bringing his hands to his face, he’s telling you, ‘I’m starting to get hungry,’” Carothers says. “When you respond to those cues, your baby learns to continue giving them, and you can feed the baby before he starts crying. Once a baby cries, he’s no longer just hungry; he’s mad and hungry, and that can make breastfeeding much more difficult for both of you.” >
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Don’t wait until baby is born to learn about breastfeeding. “After birth, you’re exhausted; you’re in pain. Those are not exactly the greatest circumstances in which to learn something new,” says Denise Archambault, IBCLC, RN, a lactation consultant who works at Women & Infants Hospital in Rhode Island. Read up on nursing. Take a breastfeeding class. Talk to moms who have breastfed successfully before you actually have to do it. Also, find out what nursing resources— including lactation consultants, La Leche League chapters and breastfeeding moms’ clubs—are available near you.
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basics
Offer your baby a feeding every two to three hours in the very beginning. If your breasts start to feel engorged—really tight, firm, large and warm—a few days after birth, don’t panic: It’s just your mature milk coming in. (Before that, your baby gets supernutritious, concentrated colostrum.) Engorgement goes away in a few days, but those rock-hard boobs can make feeding baby challenging. If baby has a hard time latching, hand express or pump a bit of milk before feeding her, to make things softer.
holding positions 1 Crossover hold
This is a great position for a first-timer! Use your right arm to hold baby while he nurses on your left breast. Gently cup the back of his head with your right hand. Your thumb and index finger should be at each of his ears.
2 Football hold
If baby is feeding on the right breast, hold her torso under your right armpit, like you’re cradling a football.
call in the pros
Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt, so if you’re having pain, or if your baby isn’t wetting at least 8 to 12 diapers a day, call the hospital, your doctor’s office or a local lactation consultant. It’s important to nip issues in the bud as quickly as possible.
get some sleep
Just because you’re the one with the boobs doesn’t mean you have to do all the feeding. After you and baby have developed a consistent nursing relationship (usually after the first month), it’s okay to let your partner give baby a feeding—especially if you’re longing for a good night’s sleep. Just be sure to pump a bottle of breast milk before you go to bed. To maintain your body’s milk supply, it’s important to have a pumping session every single time your baby has a bottle.
3
Cradle hold
Support his head in the bend of your left elbow while he lies in front of your body and nurses from your left breast.
4 Side-lying hold
Lie on your side and place baby facing you—belly to belly. Bring her close and let her latch on to the breast that’s closer to the mattress.
plan ahead
Before you give birth, talk to your employer about your plans to continue breastfeeding when you return to work. (Your right to do that is protected by law!) Together, figure out a private place where you can pump, and brainstorm ways you can fit pumping breaks into your workday. It might seem daunting, but plenty of other moms keep breastfeeding after they go back—and you totally can too.
practice pumping
At least a couple of weeks before you’re scheduled to go back to work, start pumping breast milk. Archambault recommends >
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5 Twins holds
Got twins? Try the double football hold: Use two pillows to prop your babies on either side of your waist, facing you. Lean forward, resting your arms on either side of the pillows and holding babies’ heads, feeding one on each breast simultaneously. Or modify other holds to make them work for your twins.
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get through engorgement
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basics
pumping for a few minutes after baby’s morning feeding, because that’s when your milk supply tends to be the greatest. You can also pump on one side while your baby nurses on the other (the ultimate multitasking!). Both techniques will help you get used to pumping—and let you establish a stockpile of breast milk. Just knowing you have plenty of milk at home in your freezer will make you feel less stressed.
use shortcuts
Want to make the pumping process quick and easy? Try specially designed pump-and-save breast-milk bags. They attach directly to your breast pump, but then unhook and seal, so you can store the milk right in the bag. Microwave steamer bags are another time-saving device some moms swear by. Just pop your breast pump accessories into the bag, fill with water as directed, seal and put it in the microwave to sterilize everything in just a few minutes. You’ll also want to do some trial and error to see what other ideas work for you. Some moms like to freeze their milk in small increments so it’s easy to grab and defrost exactly how many ounces they need at a time. And some like to invest in two breast pumps so they don’t have to transport theirs to and from work every day.
educate baby’s caregiver
Make sure baby’s nanny or caregiver at day care knows exactly how to prepare a bottle of breast milk (no microwaving allowed—just defrost in a warm bowl of water), to use the oldest milk first and exactly how much and how often baby needs to eat throughout the day.
know your number
Before you return to work, count how many times your baby nurses in a 24-hour period. That’s your “magic number,” Carothers says. When you go back to work, the number of times your baby nurses in a day plus the number of times you pump should equal your magic number. That way, you can keep your milk supply up—and baby will get enough to eat. Don’t be surprised, by the way, if your baby decides to eat very little while you’re at work and to nurse constantly when you’re at home. That’s called reverse cycle feeding, and it’s completely normal (sorry!). It may be exhausting but it’s because baby prefers you to the bottle. The Bump experts: Denise Archambault, IBCLC, RN, a lactation consultant who works at Women & Infants Hospital; and Cathy Carothers, BLA, IBCLC, president of the International Lactation Consultant Association
advice you shouldn’t believe! “Someone once told me to scrub my nipples with a washcloth to ‘toughen them up’ for nursing. Um, ouch!” museummaven Why it’s bad advice You won’t do much more than make your nipples sore. Your body is naturally prepping itself for breastfeeding. Just do it.
“My mother-in-law said that my breasts were too small to give my baby enough milk.” k-renee Why it’s bad advice There’s actually no correlation between breast size and milk production. Your breast size should not compromise your ability to produce the right amount of milk.
“‘You’ll know within two days whether breastfeeding is going to work for you.’” danienross Why it’s bad advice Breastfeeding usually starts out tough and gets easier. It can take a few days before your milk comes in, and weeks to feel in balance with baby’s needs.
“‘Drinking beer while breastfeeding will help baby sleep.’” dundasgirl Why it’s bad advice Alcohol can pass into breast milk, and baby’s body will process it at a slow rate. It could cause sleep problems for him and impair his motor skills (scary!). Wait three hours after a drink to nurse.
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More feeding tips at TheBump.com/feeding thebump.com
Sensory learning, neuromuscular activities and spatial awareness, otherwise referred to as,
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Riverside Pediatric Group is the Premier Pediatric Group in Northern New Jersey providing quality, personalized and accessible healthcare for your child. RPG is open to Riverside patients 365 days a year (including holidays) from 8 a.m. to midnight! RPG has offices throughout Northern New Jersey.
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basics
just the two of us Fun stuff to do with baby. by Bonnie Vengrow
Joining a playgroup is a fun way to get baby to experience new things—and for you to get out of the house and make new-mom friends. Play sessions can range from formal classes with music, movement, songs and learning to discussions about your child’s development. CHECK OUT The Little Gym, with 19 locations in New Jersey (TheLittleGym.com); Kidville, with three locations in New Jersey (Kidville .com); Gymboree, with 16 locations in New Jersey (GymboreeClasses.com); and My Gym, with 10 locations in New Jersey (My-Gym.com)
music
Who wouldn’t love getting out of the house and listening to some live music? While baby’s little, you can bounce and rock her to the beat. As she gets older, baby can use instruments and clap and dance around. She just might learn some stuff along the way too. CHECK OUT Music for Aardvarks and Other Mammals, with several New Jersey locations (MusicforAardvarks.com); Kindermusik, with several New Jersey locations (Kindermusik .com); and Creative Kids, with locations in Westfield (908-232-4949) and Livingston (973-994-0096), CreativeKidsNJ.com
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yoga
Mom-and-baby yoga is an awesome way to release stress and tone that postbaby bod— and you can bring baby along to class. CHECK OUT Princeton HealthCare System (609-497-4480, PrincetonHCS.org); and Fair Haven Yoga (732-741-1724, FairHavenYoga.com)
stroller fitness
You don’t need a gym to get a workout—and you don’t have to call a sitter either. Meet with other new moms and babies, and use your stroller as exercise equipment while baby takes a snooze (hopefully!). CHECK OUT Bella Bellies (201-705-4018, BellaBellies.com); Stroller Strides, which has meet-ups in several New Jersey locations (StrollerStrides.com); and Baby Boot Camp, which has three local meet-ups (BabyBootCamp.com)
swimming
No, you’re not training the next Michael Phelps (at least, probably not). But exposing baby to the pool now gives her plenty of time to get acclimated to water. CHECK OUT BWD Swim School (201-8433340, BWDSwimSchool.com) Meet moms at TheBump.com/newjersey
thebump.com
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play
Baby Boot Camp Morris County North Our classes are an amazing way to get fit and meet new moms while having fun and staying with your baby! It’s a group exercise class where we do cardio, strength training and core work to get rid of that postpregnancy belly sag. We have playdates and moms’ nights out, as well as parties, clothing/book/toy swaps, crafts, 5K meet-ups and more! Come try out our classes! Your first one is always free! mommy deals
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basics Birthmarks, surviving colic, lactation consultants and more…
Why does my baby have birthmarks? Should I be worried about them? Birthmarks can be spontaneous or genetic. They come in a lot of varieties too: flat or raised; regular or irregular borders; ranging in color from brown to pink to purple. While most are harmless, birthmarks sometimes can be a sign of an underlying condition. “The location of the birthmarks can clue you in to whether you should take baby to the doctor,” says Alanna Levine, MD, a pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, New York. Look into ones along the midline of the spine or near areas of the central nervous system—they may be a sign of a condition called neurofibromatosis, which affects the development and growth of nerve cell tissues. “Strawberries” are usually superficial and often disappear on their own. A single or pair of coffee-colored spots is normal, but multiple ones that are also speckled (especially under baby’s arms) could be a sign of a genetic condition. Port-wine-stain birthmarks, often on the face and neck, are sometimes connected with KlippelTrenaunay syndrome or Sturge-Weber syndrome, so they’re worth an exam by the doctor. Congenital nevus birthmarks are large moles that can be as small as a couple of millimeters or as big as a few centimeters in diameter. Babies with these birthmarks may be more susceptible to skin cancer, so have your pediatrician monitor them at checkups.
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How can a lactation consultant help me? How do I find a good one? Breastfeeding isn’t always easy, but a lactation consultant can guide you through the process. They can help you get comfortable with breastfeeding and teach you things like how to position baby and how to know he’s latching on correctly. If you experience any breastfeeding issues, a lactation consultant will assess your situation, figure out the heart of the problem and create a specialized plan for approaching nursing, says Leigh Anne O’Connor, IBCLC, a lactation consultant in New York City. So how do you find one? Ask around. Check with your pediatrician for recommendations. The United States Lactation Consultant Association and La Leche League International can also help, or check out our directory of pros at Breastfeeding.com. My baby bites while breastfeeding—help! You’re not alone (not that it makes it hurt any less). Biting is common and should be temporary, especially if baby had previously been nursing well. Try to identify the cause. Common culprits are teething, low milk supply, using artificial nipples and nasal congestion in baby, says Carole Arsenault, RN, IBCLC, a lactation consultant in Boston. If baby tends to bite, take her off your breast as soon as the feeding is done. If she does bite you, remove her right away and tell her “no.” Wait 30 minutes before nursing again. >
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5 things to do (for you!) in 10 minutes
You deserve 10 minutes for Y-O-U. So what are you going to do with your “me” time? Here are some ideas. pamper yourself You won’t be able to get a
shop Okay, so you might not be able to hit the
work out Why not squeeze in some exercise?
give yourself a treat Have a real meal.
luxurious spa treatment in 10 minutes, so try out a face mask mixture of oatmeal, yogurt and honey—leave it on for 10 minutes and wash off. It’ll rejuvenate and cleanse your face.
Yes, you can totally get in a great workout in 10 minutes. It’ll help you get closer to your prebaby shape and keep you energized.
get a massage Enlist your partner to give you a much-needed massage.
mall, but you can always shop online! Get that new pair of heels that you’ve been lusting after with just a click of a button. You can wear them for your next date night with your partner. Take this time to whip up a quick snack or meal and eat in peace. An omelet or a sandwich (maybe even a panini!) is a fast, healthy and delicious option. Or throw together a fruit smoothie if baby’s far enough away that the blender won’t wake him.
Find more info at TheBump.com/newmomnewdad
basics
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The Bump experts: Alanna Levine, MD, pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, NY;
Leigh Anne O’Connor, IBCLC, lactation consultant; Carole Arsenault, RN, IBCLC, lactation consultant; Vicki Papadeas, MD,
pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City; Cheryl Wu, MD, pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City; and Miguel Pagan, director of aquatics at the 14th Street Y in New York City
When can I take baby swimming? Wait until he can hold his head up properly—around six months old— before taking him in the pool, says Levine. He’ll be sturdier and you’ll have a firmer grasp on him. Baby may love the water—or hate it—so start out slowly and give him time to get acclimated, says Miguel Pagan, director of aquatics at the 14th Street Y in New York City. Once he’s settled, try blowing bubbles or splashing.
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It takes forever to burp my baby. What am I doing wrong? Burping helps baby get rid of air swallowed during a feeding and keeps her from getting cranky and gassy. You should burp her when you switch breasts, or after each two to three ounces she drinks. Try one of these techniques, and if you still have trouble, rest assured that by five or six months, she’ll practically burp herself. Lay baby belly-down on your lap, with her head above her chest, and pat her back. Hold baby facing your chest, with her chin on your shoulder. Use one hand to support her head and the other to rub her back. Or face her outward and lean a bit forward, supporting her neck and chest with one hand. If baby can hold her head up, stand and hold her against your body, facing outward. Then apply
Baby has colic! What can I do? Colic is when a baby cries a minimum of three hours a day, three days a week, during the first three months. Now that’s a lot of crying! To calm baby, use the four S’s: shushing (using white noise), swinging (putting baby in a swing or taking her on a car ride), swaddling (wrapping baby in a blanket) and sucking (offering a pacifier or your breast). Also check if she’s hungry, too hot or too cold, or needs a new diaper. Sometimes a medical issue like reflux or allergies is to blame, so ask baby’s pediatrician to rule out any underlying causes, says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City. To stay sane, get out of the house and be sure to bring a rattle or pacifier to help soothe baby. Also, learn how to take a break—give baby to your partner or ask a friend to watch her while you catch up on sleep or take a shower.
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How do I care for my newborn’s skin? A newborn’s skin doesn’t need much specialized care. Just wash her face and genitals once a day with water or a gentle cleanser (we like Burt’s Bees Baby Bee Shampoo & Wash), and use baby lotion if her skin seems dry, says Vicki Papadeas, MD, a pediatrician at LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in New York City. Baby wipes—look for the sensitive skin kind—are generally okay from one month on (until then, use a wet washcloth). If baby’s skin seems extra dry or irritated, or if there’s a rash, consult her pediatrician.
gentle pressure on her stomach as you walk around the room. Find the position that works best and pat firmly. Infants are tougher than they seem.
Newborn tips at TheBump.com/babyq&a thebump.com
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beyond
baby appétit Time for solid foods? Here’s all the know-how you need to feed your baby right, right from the start.
the basics
when to begin Wait until at least baby’s four-month birthday to start on the solid stuff. That’s because babies need to be old enough to have reached certain important developmental milestones like being able to hold their head up, being able to sit up with support and overcoming the extrusion reflex, which causes them to spit out solids. You’ll also want to get the okay from her doctor before you begin, who may recommend waiting until closer to six months to be sure your child is ready. Plus, tips published by the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology suggest that early introduction of solid food (before four to six months) may be linked to an increased risk of food allergies. The timing of baby’s first solid feeding will also depend on how well she’s gaining weight on breast milk or formula—and whether she may need extra iron and nutrients added to her liquid diet.
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what to feed So what should that exciting first taste of solid food be? For years, ironfortified rice cereal, mixed with a generous helping of formula or breast milk, was the experts’ choice, but now nutritionists and doctors say you can take your pick. “The order of introducing foods is no longer rigid—any order is fine,” says Jennifer Shu, MD, pediatrician and coauthor of Food Fights. “I’m a fan of starting with a root vegetable such as carrot or sweet potato, because they’re naturally sweet and puree to a smooth texture,” says Annabel Karmel, author of more than 20 books about feeding your children and creator of the app Annabel’s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler. “No-cook purees such as mashed banana or avocado are also fantastic and are packed full of nutrients.” Other popular first foods are pureed apples, pears, green beans, butternut squash and oatmeal or barley cereal.
Walter B. McKenzie/getty images
by lisa milbrand
Just be careful about the consistency of baby’s food. “Start small and thin—your baby is used to breast milk or formula, which is liquid consistency,” says Lara Field, MS, RD, CSP, LDN and founder of FEED, a pediatric nutrition counseling business—and you don’t want to risk her choking. “When starting solids, they should be runny and easy to run off the spoon.” Once baby’s got eating runny foods down pat, you might want to introduce pureed beef or lamb (just be sure it’s very wellpureed), which is high in that essential iron. “For breastfed babies, introducing meat early has some advantages, since iron is better absorbed from meat than it is from fortified cereal,” says Shu.
how to do it
Start without the spoon You can let baby get used to the new flavors and textures first by dipping a clean finger into the puree and feeding her from your finger, which is softer, more familiar and less intrusive than a hard spoon.
gabrielle revere/getty images
Don’t expect baby to polish it all off
Your baby may only eat a tablespoon or two at a time for the first few weeks as she adjusts to the new textures and flavors. “Take it slowly,” advises Karmel. “When you first start introducing your baby to solids, it is not about quantity—it’s just about getting them used to the idea of food.” Watch for signs he’s done Baby can’t yet say that he’s full, so pay attention to his body language. If he’s grabbing at the spoon, spitting out food or clamping his lips shut, he’s probably trying to signal to you that he’s stuffed. Be ready for a mess There are bound to be spills, drips and splashes as you get the hang of feeding your baby—and your baby gets the hang of eating. But don’t let it stress you. Keep washcloths or paper towels handy and consider getting a wipe-clean drop cloth to lay down under the high chair to make cleanup a cinch. Keep trying foods baby rejects It may take several feedings before baby decides she actually does like pureed green beans, so keep
trying. You can also mix in a less-loved food with a favorite to see if that helps entice her.
what to watch
Introduce new foods carefully Go slow. Introduce something new every three days. That way, if your child develops an allergic reaction, it will be easier to find the cause. Beware of a bad reaction If baby develops a rash, vomiting, diarrhea or severe gas, it may be a sign of a food intolerance or allergy. Stop giving him the food immediately and call his pediatrician. Hold off on milk and honey Many babies have a hard time digesting cow’s milk, and honey carries a risk of infant botulism if given to a baby. So hold off until after the first birthday. (Other dairy products, such as yogurt and cheese, are fine before then, though, since the lactose in them has been broken down.) Don’t freak about food allergies Unless you or your mate has severe food allergies, it’s okay to give baby common allergens like wheat, shellfish, fish and soy. Just watch your child closely for signs of a reaction. >
New Jersey thebump.com
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beyond
prep baby’s food
shop smart Store-
DIY baby food Making your own baby food
is actually easier than it seems—just blend up a few simple steamed veggies, fruits or well-cooked meats, and you’re in business. It’s also a way to maintain more control over what’s going into your baby’s mouth and may save you money over the pricey jarred foods. DIYing it may even help head off future picky eating (which toddlers are notorious for!). “The type of food in premade baby food is actually pretty limited compared with all the different fruits and vegetables that are available at the grocery store,” says Bridget Swinney, MS, RD, LD and author of Baby Bites: Everything You Need to Know About Feeding Babies and Toddlers in One Handy Book. “Leafy greens like kale, spinach and swiss chard are rich in lutein, an antioxidant important for eye health. You don’t see those vegetables in a jar! Infancy is a perfect time for babies to try many different foods to encourage them to eat a wide variety in the toddler years.” Each week, buy a new fruit or veggie for you both to try.
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ready to give it a shot? here’s what to keep in mind:
Start simple While there are some amazing baby-centric steam-and-puree systems out there (and many moms swear they make their lives easier), the pricey gadgets aren’t necessary for making baby food. Odds are you already have everything you need in your kitchen: a microwave or stove top to steam the foods, and a blender, food mill or food processor to turn it into puree. Make big batches Don’t go crazy! You don’t have to cook fresh baby food every night. Instead, make large batches of a single type of puree and freeze it in smaller servings— ice cube trays make perfect, one-ounce portions. Then, simply thaw out your baby’s meal by placing it in the fridge and then warming it slightly on the stove. To change it up, you can mix and match purees every night—apple and banana puree one night, apple and chicken another. Seriously, it’s not as big a time commitment as many moms think it will be: You can carve out an hour over the weekend and make all of baby’s food for the entire week! Let her have what you’re having Yup, it’s okay to share what you’re eating with baby. She may not be ready for a bite of your curry or buffalo wings, but if you’re serving something simple—steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes, carrots, grilled chicken— throw some in the blender and puree it for baby to have a taste. Just remember to do the seasoning after you set aside a serving for your baby: Like we said, baby doesn’t need the salt. Other spices are fine, but you might want to take it slow to watch for allergies and to not overwhelm your baby.
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bought baby food may get a bad rap, but there actually are some healthier options out there. Here’s how to suss out the right ones for your baby. Count the ingredients The fewer ingredients on the list, the better— ideally, all the applesauce should have in it is apples. Jarred baby foods may need a few preservatives to prolong shelf life, but if you see several unpronounceable chemicals, it’s a good idea to avoid it. You can also ask your pediatrician for her recommendations of brands to try. Check the protein levels. Many packaged “meat” baby foods actually have very little protein and iron in them—which means they won’t have the nutrients your baby needs. You might be better off cooking up and pureeing your own chicken and beef. Skip the salt and the sugar Babies don’t need salt or sugar—and baby food shouldn’t have them. Period.
Move beyond the basics Now’s the time to challenge your baby’s taste buds and give him the nutrition he needs. Try ultra-healthy options, like pureed acorn squash or zucchini, mashed avocado—or anything else you find that’s interesting in the produce aisle. You never know, he may love them for life. The Bump experts: Jennifer Shu, MD, pediatrician and coauthor of Food Fights; Annabel Karmel , author of more than 20 books on feeding your kids and creator of the app Annabel’s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler; Lara Field, MS, RD, CSP, LDN and founder of FEED, a pediatric nutrition counseling business; and Bridget Swinney, MS, RD, LD and author of Baby Bites: Everything You Need to Know About Feeding Babies and Toddlers in One Handy Book
baby super foods See what these nutritious noshes have to offer.
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Breast Milk Hands down, the best food for baby during the first year is breast milk, so try to keep nursing as long as you can, even once you start solids. Iron-Fortified Cereal Introducing iron-rich foods is essential. Rice cereal, oatmeal and barley are good options— just make sure you start with a single-grain formula, which is easier on baby’s tummy.
Avocados Avocados are loaded with monounsaturated fats (that’s the good kind!), and they’re supereasy to prepare. Simply wait until they’re ripe and mash with a fork! Sweet Potatoes They’re rich in beta-carotene, which the body converts to vitamin A, and that’s important for vision, skin, normal growth and protection from infections.
Meat Meat—like chicken, lamb or beef—is an excellent source of protein, as well as iron, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B6 and zinc. Be sure to puree it well so baby doesn’t choke.
Yogurt Plain (not vanilla) whole-milk yogurt is another protein-rich option for baby— plus it contains calcium and beneficial live active cultures (good for baby’s digestion!).
Beets Roasted, mashed beets are a good source of folic acid and high in potassium and beta-carotene, and they’re a sweet veggie— which babies take a liking to quickly.
Cheerios The little O’s in the yellow box are an excellent finger food and a good source of fiber. Introduce these around nine months, when baby can chew.
More feeding tips at TheBump.com/feeding
toddler Potty-training basics, babysitter rules, best toys for age one and more…
When should I start potty training my child? How do I kick it off? Every kid is different and there are a lot of factors that go into when a child is ready, but if you’re looking for some ballpark timing, two and a half tends to be the ideal age to begin the full training process— but only if she’s showing readiness signs. “Usually, when baby’s 15 to 18 months old, you can start to sense she’s getting ready,” says Anita Chandra-Puri, MD, a pediatrician with Northwestern Memorial Physicians Group and an instructor of clinical pediatrics at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. Some of the signs it’s time are: She lets you know when she needs to go. She’s interested in the toilet and undies. She fusses about dirty diapers. She can sit on and rise from a potty. Her diaper stays dry for two hours or longer during the day. Once you see those signs—and you notice in her expressions or behavior that she needs to use the toilet—suggest going to the potty. When she’s on the toilet, give positive reinforcements (like cheering her on). Put a potty chair in the bathroom, schedule bathroom times so she gets into a routine and bring her to the toilet if you sense she needs to use it. Communicate with your child and understand that if she isn’t ready, you shouldn’t force it. “Never pressure them; they’ll be ready when they’re ready,” says Chandra-Puri.
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How do I create rules for my babysitter? Spell out your expectations from the getgo. “Never leave it up to the sitter to assume that you need certain things handled a certain way,” says Adrienne Kallweit, founder of SeekingSitters, a national babysitting referral company. Some good rules to set: Show up on time, no texting or using cell phones for personal calls, no visitors and always engage with the kid by doing age-appropriate activities together. Talk to her if there’s an issue. Most of the time you just need to be clear on your expectations. “Speak calmly and include solutions for any problem,” says Kallweit. Is it okay to bribe my toddler with candy? The American Academy of Pediatrics says no. “If you position candy as the ultimate goal in your child’s mind, then it can be detrimental or cause a reward relationship with food. If it’s part of the reward process, it can be healthy and effective,” explains Jessica Kim, mom of two and CEO and founder of BabbaCo. So instead of saying, “Go potty and you’ll get candy,” say, “Go potty like a big boy!” You can still give him candy if he does. That way, candy isn’t the goal, but it’s part of the process. Before you use candy as a reward, figure out what motivates your child and what his interests are. Some good non-candy rewards are stickers, small erasers or pencils, or beads (if your child is old enough). >
Nursing bras, stretch marks, and delivery rooms—oh my! NeW From the bump! the only pregnancy guide that tells it like it really is.
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toddler
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The Bump experts: Anita Chandra-Puri, MD, pediatrician with
Northwestern Memorial Physicians Group and instructor of clinical pediatrics at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine; Adrienne Kallweit, founder of SeekingSitters; Jessica Kim , CEO and founder of BabbaCo; Kathleen Alfano, PhD, director of child research at Fisher-Price; and Monica Vila , founder of The Online Mom
Does my toddler need exercise? Your tot doesn’t have to hit the gym anytime soon, but you should definitely give him the opportunity to release his innate energy. “Toddlers should get at least one hour of physical activity each day, like running around, jumping or climbing,” says Chandra-Puri. So take him to the park, walk to the store or play in the backyard. And if you’re stuck indoors, put on music and start dancing.
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Can my toddler play with my smartphone or tablet? Dealing with a fussy toddler is tough, and distracting her with your cell phone seems like a good idea, but you may want to rethink it. Children under two years old should stay screen-free, says the American Academy of Pediatrics. Plus, kid-friendly apps are meant to be played by parents and children together, says Monica Vila, founder of The Online Mom, a website that helps parents protect their kids online. Then there are safety risks: If baby drops a phone or tablet, batteries can fall out and screens can shatter. Also, have you seen reports that cell phones have traces of poop on them? Yeah, no matter how much you clean, your gadget could still be germy.
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What are some good toys to get baby for his first birthday? Pick toys that will foster his development. “Finding toys to match a child’s physical skill is a good way to start. Choose something that helps with balance, like a push toy,” says Kathleen Alfano, PhD, director of child research at Fisher-Price, since baby is probably learning to walk. Baby’s also becoming social, so get toys that encourage him to play with others, like balls or blocks. Other good ideas: books, musical toys, a dollhouse or figurines for pretend play. Just avoid anything that isn’t age-appropriate—believe it if it’s marked “Ages 3 and up.”
What are some tips for choosing the right day care? Finding the best day care for baby (and you!) can be intimidating, so prepare beforehand. Make a list of wants (like a highly educated staff) and needs (like a location near home). And be mindful of your timing. “Child care providers plan in advance to know the number of spots they have available. So plan before the school year starts, during school breaks, holidays or during common vacation times,” says Kallweit. Once you’ve narrowed down your options, tour the facilities. Ask how long they’ve been open, how many children and teachers are in each “class” and whether instructors have certified safety training. Note the cleanliness of the space, how staffers interact with the kids and the overall atmosphere, says Kallweit. The day care center should do background checks on employees. Ask to review them. Ultimately, when choosing the right day care, go with your gut. If a day care has met all your wants and needs, and if you feel comfortable leaving your child there, you’ll know it’s the right fit.
Toddler advice at TheBump.com/toddler thebump.com
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i knew I was a dad...
holy crap, i’m a dad! Read on to see what happened to real dads when they realized they were a parent. i knew I was a dad...
i knew I was a dad...
the first time my son smiled at me. Not the smile a baby gives when he has gas, but the one that says, ‘Hey, I know you!’
when my wife was asking me to give the 4 a.m. feeding. john
when I could pick up and throw away my daughter’s poop balls without thinking twice about it. zane
i knew I was a dad...
when I realized she has my eyes...since I was adopted, I have never seen anyone who looks like me before. At that moment I thought, She’s really mine. david
joe
Get new dad tips at TheBump.com/newmomnewdad
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Roxie, Cindy and Lisa strive to provide superior individualized care to each client. Their hands-on approach to prenatal care and labor will nurture you and your natural ability to give birth. Hackettstown Midwives’ innovative philosophy and programs support, educate and empower every client to embrace the challenges and joys of pregnancy and birth. I have been blessed to have the midwives attend not one but two of my children’s births. It was their encouragement, humor and confidence that carried me through to the end. I am grateful beyond words for their encouragement, wisdom and patience throughout my pregnancies and births and even beyond. –Stephanie SHUTTERSTOCK
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57 Rt. 46, Suite 300 Hackettstown, NJ 07840 908.509.1801 • Fax: 732.301.9252 midwives@hackettstownmidwives.com
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