The Burr, Spring 2017 by The Burr Magazine

Spring 2017 beauty in the broken

an american utopia

women of the sky

priceless experience

on the

COVER

PHOTO BY JACQUELINE STOFSICK

ustin Coats is the only male dance major at Kent State. Art Director Jacqueline Stofsick explores the concept of fluidity and movement through Coatsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dance. Coats is featured on page 46 as writer Alexandria Kobryn investigates what it is like being a male in a female-dominated profession. THE BURR MAGAZINE

Photo by Samantha Karam

from the

EDITOR I started my time as a writer for The Burr fresh out of a class that was then called newswriting. We were taught to write straightforward, precise and brief. The inverted pyramid and who, what, when, where, why leads were stuck in my head. As a freshman in my spring semester, I had no experience writing for a magazine, but I knew I wanted to tell other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stories. I knew I wanted to write in a way that was informational, relevant and creative. During my seven semesters at The Burr I have grown immensely as a writer. It is because of The Burr and the guidance of my friends and editors that I have become the writer I am today. My best clips have been published in this magazine and I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to not only write for this magazine, but to be the editor-in-chief during my last semester at Kent State. Now, as a senior during my spring semester, I take on the topic of immigration, specifically focusing on the Deferred Action of Childhood Arrivals program. A hot topic this semester, I talked with a student whose future is uncertain as President Donald Trump transitions into the 4

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Oval Office. Read the story of a Ukrainian immigrant fighting for his American dream on page 58. We introduce a theme of movement, change and fluidity in this issue as our writers delve into other heavy topics as well. Senior Editor Jessica Darling writes about the breaking point that leads to suicidal thoughts on page 46. Photographer Jana Life explores what it means to be a millennial through the eyes of both millennials and generations before on page 38, and on page 50 writer Jamie Brian tells the stories of three women who took to the sky. We also feature a collaboration between student media publications on page 64 where the editor-in-chief of Uhuru Sierra Allen writes about what Black Lives Matters means to her. I want to thank you for picking up The Burr. We hope you enjoy this magazine as we continue our mission of providing strong, journalistic storytelling for our readers.

Samantha Ickes Editor-in-chief

table of

CONTENTS FLUIDITY

10 Fluidity Introduction

THE INSTITUTE 13 priceless experience 16 weekday warriors

THE STATE

20 common grounds

THE ESPLANADE 26 not your average tea

THE CLASS 30 knitting with love 34 unmasked

THE CURRENT 38 breaking the mold 44 colorblind racism

38 58

THE FEATURES 46 beauty in the broken 50 women of the sky 54 pink slip 58 an american utopia 64 equalizer 66 last shot THE BURR MAGAZINE

Photos by Samantha Karam

The Burr Magazine is Kent State’s first student-produced magazine made for Kent State University, the city of Kent, Ohio, and any other person looking for strong, journalistic storytelling. The Burr strives to provide its readers with interesting, humorous and hard-hitting stories that tap into current events, trends and the lives of those who have made a home in Kent.

Samantha Ickes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Kelly Powell MANAGING EDITOR Jacqueline Stofsick ART DIRECTOR Brianna Deckert ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR Jessica Darling SENIOR EDITOR Andrea Noall PHOTO EDITOR Megan Ayscue COPY DESK CHIEF Molly Spillman WEB EDITOR Hannah Wagner PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR

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WRITERS

PHOTOGRAPHERS

ITZEL LEÓN ALEXANDRIA KOBRYN KAYLA STURM JAMIE BRIAN CAMERON GORMAN TANISHA THOMAS COLLIN CUNNINGHAM KELLIE NOCK BECKY DAWIDZIAK

SAMANTHA KARAM JANA LIFE CHRIS SPEGAL MIA DILORENTO TALIA HODGE ADRIAN LEUTHAUSER

VIDEO & AUDIO MAGGIE SUGG ANGELO ANGEL CAMERON GORMAN COPY EDITORS ALEXANDRIA KOBRYN ITZEL LEÓN CHELSEA PANIN PROMOTIONS MADISON DELISIO JAKE MAJKA

BLOGGERS KATHRYN MONSEWICZ CAELIN MILLS MATT POE EVAN HARMS

Stephanie Lawerence ADVISER Kevin Dilley DIRECTOR OF STUDENT MEDIA Katie Barnes Evans MEDIA SPECIALIST Norma Young BUSINESS MANAGER Tami Bongiorni ADVERTISING MANAGER

ILLUSTRATORS MARK TABAR MAHLON RHODES ALEXIS SCRANTON DESIGNERS MEGAN ENDERLE LAUREN FRIEDMAN MADELEINE KIDD ALEXIS SCRANTON

Published with support of Kent State and the Kent Community. Also published with support from Generation Progress/Center for American Progress (online at genprogress.org). No Part of The Burr Magazine may be reprinted or published without permission. © 2017 The Burr Magazine 330-672-2572 theburrmagazine@gmail.com

NATIONAL AWARDS AEJMC STUDENT MAGAZINE CONTEST 2014 SECOND PLACE First-Person Consumer Magazine Article Nick Shook, “Head Games” (May 2014) ASSOCIATED COLLEGIATE PRESS 2014 DESIGN OF THE YEAR AWARD SECOND PLACE Yearbook/Magazine Page Spread Rachel Mullenax, “Kent’s Flashiest Cocktails” (April 2014) AEJMC STUDENT MAGAZINE CONTEST 2015 THIRD PLACE Chrissy Suttles, “Two Seconds in Cudell” (April 2015) HONORABLE MENTION Chrissy Suttles, “Nightfall” (November 2014) 2015 NATIONAL COLLEGE MEDIA CONVENTION SIXTH PLACE Best of Show for a Feature Magazine AEJMC STUDENT MAGAZINE CONTEST 2016 FIRST PLACE Blythe Alspaugh, “Can’t Fix What Isn’t Broken” (April 2016) THIRD PLACE Online Magazine SECOND PLACE Single Issue of an Ongoing Magazine-Design

REGIONAL AWARDS SOCIETY OF PROFESSIONAL JOURNALISTS REGION 4 MARK OF EXCELLENCE AWARDS FINALIST Feature Photography Leah Klafczynski, “Unbreakable Bond” (May 2014) FINALIST Nonfiction Magazine Article Carley Hull, “Don’t Sweat the Small Things” (May 2014) FINALIST Nonfiction Magazine Article Chrissy Suttles, “Nightfall” (November 2014) Chrissy Suttles, “Two Seconds in Cudell” (April 2015) FINALIST General News Photography Jacob Byk FINALIST Feature Writing Top 20 Matthew Merchant, “Shelter Realities” (February 2015)

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Photos by Andrea Noall

through the lens

very year, the tragedy of May 4 is remembered through a candlelight vigil and walk. Students, professors and community members gather at the site where the four students were killed at 11 p.m. May 3. In the 1983 Chestnut Burr, 13 years after the shooting, writer Barb Gerwin wrote about how students preferred to forget about the shooting. These students refused to attend the commemoration of May 4 because it had become “political.”

“May 4 was a political event, occasioned by a war protest,” Gerwin writes. “And although that protest finally brought the war home, it was begun by students looking beyond their homes, toward people in a very foreign land. So few truly significant events have a pure, single focus.” This idea has become relevant again today as individuals across the nation come together to protest against President Donald Trump’s travel ban. The ban began Jan. 27 and was set to last for three months when Trump signed the executive order, banning travel between the United 8

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States and seven Muslim-majority countries. At least 20 states challenged the courts to freeze Trump’s ban. As protests break out all over the U.S., citizens of all races, religions and cultures unite together to show their support for those across the seas. We look beyond our own problems and everyday life hassles to see an issue bigger than ourselves. We see the Syrian mother who wants to get her children out of their war-ridden homeland. We see those who seek refuge trapped in the lives they are trying to escape. Through these protests, we see those in foreign lands hundreds of miles from our own backyards and the struggles they endure.

The Chestnut Burr was Kent State’s student-produced yearbook from 1914 to 1985. In 1986, students Lauren Buterbaugh and Thomas Lewis transformed the yearbook into The Chestnut Burr Magazine, which was shortened to The Burr in 1988.

state of the university

Kent State men’s basketball made it to the NCAA tournament for the first time since 2008. Three students, Ariella Yager, Sam Graska and Justin Gleason, created a smartphone case called Case.MD, which dispenses medication. After the success of the first Potterfest in 2016, a Harry Potter-themed festival, Main Street Kent will be hosting a second wizard festival in summer 2017, transforming Acorn Alley into Diagon Alley.

A Republican Party official in Michigan tweeted about protests at the University of California, Berkeley, calling for “another Kent State perhaps.” Mansoureh Shasti, a doctoral student, was stuck in Canada after President Trump’s travel ban went into effect. A resident of Franklin Crossing held a female hostage. The standoff between Kent City Police and Metro SWAT with the resident resulted in the resident being shot and killed.

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Change is rarely black and white. Change can be difficult to accept or understand, but change also represents growth and movement. Our writers delve into this topic by exploring areas of physical movement, such as Jamie Brian’s “Women of the Sky” on page 50. We also look at movement through change and growth in stories such as Cameron Gorman’s “Pink Slip” on page 54 and Tanisha Thomas’s look at colorblind racism in her piece “Comprehension Begins with Conversation” on page 44. In this issue, The Burr explores this idea of movement, or fluidity, through our design as well. We use a muted color pallet with paint and ink strokes to create texture, and we carry our illustrations across spreads to incorporate movement throughout the magazine. Our design and content are not separate, but are one cohesive body flowing from one story to the next.

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priceless

experience

What unpaid internships mean for ambitious students WORDS BY KELLY POWELL || ILLUSTRATION BY ALEXIS SCRANTON

onny Flower, a senior majoring in exer- “With physical therapy (PT), interns really can’t cise science, sits in his Centennial Court do much because [they’re] not certified,” E room, fulfilling his set in stone resident Flower says. “I got to help do a couple measureassistant community hours. Surrounding him ments and work on different computer things. are objects promoting responsibility—an open It was really valuable because Jason was dedilaptop assisting him in his 17-credit-hour cated to helping me not just in PT, but also in course load, a smart phone buzzing with mes- life outside of PT.” sages from his girlfriend, friends and residents, a set of car keys reminding him of his shadow Flower cites supervisor Jason Bell as a primary reason for a satisfying experience, even without position and 25 minute commute to one of two the dollar compensation. Bell spends time doing unpaid internships. mock interviews with him, asking Flower tough Whether for a college credit, a graduation questions with the hope they will help him sucrequirement or experiential learning, numerous ceed when he applies for prestigious graduate students at Kent State opt to take an unpaid schools. When Flower isn’t engaging in patient internship. This summer, companies ranging interaction, he is watching what Bell does, and from American Apparel to the small town bou- Bell walks him through every step he takes, tique will open their doors to millennials eager to explaining each piece of his process. offer an open mind and accept an empty pocket. This mentorship is a justification to Flower for Flower clocks in at 100 hours with Mercy Health his internship not being paid. He is the only Center of Lake Township starting at the tail end intern at the hospital, accept for a woman applyof summer and continuing until the final month ing for Stark State’s PTA program who stays of the year. Since Mercy is largely known as a there for four or five days over the summer. The “teaching hospital,” Flower spends a majority of clinic is too small to hold anyone else. Except for his time in observation. Sorting files for patient the couple of summer days, Flower worked the charts, assisting physical trainers with notes and standard 9-to-5 shift. He was satisfied with preparing rooms became the daily grind, allowing having his internship be more voluntary than him to understand the bones of the profession. occupational and feels paid in knowledge. THE BURR MAGAZINE

the INSTITUTE

Jonathan Fleming, program director and grad- “On one hand, we would love to get people to do internship allows her to speak up in meetings uate coordinator for architecture and urban things and not pay them because that would save rather than be sent out on coffee runs. Whether design, says students shouldn’t accept this light us money,” Thomas Sahajdack, assistant profes- or not this is considered “valuable” to the comwallet. A summer job he held as a student com- sor of economics, says, speaking from a compa- pany’s production is dependent on the size and pensated him for only about 40 of the 80 hours ny’s perspective. “On the other hand, they’re not magnitude of its operation. Gerren was satisfied able to do anything useful to us if they come and with doing more but earning less. he was working every week. work for us.” “It’s a good thing to have an intern around, to “I am a really opinionated person when it comes Some students are willing to do the substantive bring new people, because it invigorates the to unpaid internships, and I always said I would environment,” he says. work if it means simply spending time in a hub never be willing to take one unless I would really of activity they flourish in. enjoy doing it for free,” she says. “I did a marketOn one hand, Fleming says, paid internships ing internship with the company my dad works can only benefit the students. Student workers Emily Gerren, an alumna who majored in for, which provided me with gas and food money, are able to establish a new life, even momen- english, sends out queries for her newest novand I was able to stay with [some old friends].” tarily, and that shot of new perspectives and el-turned-thesis. “Breathe” was initially penned ideas might be just what a firm, publication or for National Novel Writing Month, a manu- Unpaid internships operate on a case-by-case sector needs to advance itself. On the other script-in-a-month online program meant to basis; for example, some students are financially hand, that doesn’t always justify a monetary encourage creative writers. In the middle of her unable to take one after analysis of their income. payment. Compensation for many companies querying, she logs onto Twitter and looks at the Despite promises of a meaningful experience, may come in the form of college credit, which profile of Moe Ferrara from BookEnds Literary. the dollar signs don’t always line up with the can mean a confusing chain of finances for the Gerren decides to follow her, appreciating her starry eyes. presence on social media, and she almost immeintern in question. diately receives a message in her inbox, stating “Our human nature is to try to create the best “You have to understand that choices like unpaid the company is still on the lookout for a fall scenario,” says Robin Pijor, assistant director of internships have consequences on the back end,” intern. Kent State Career Services. “If you want to align Fleming says. “When you’re 20 or 18 or 21, you’re your job duties and the function of that particmaking choices that are going to cost you time Gerren spends her time at the little office in Gilular internship with your degree, you have to be later on in your life. You’re encumbering yourself lette, New Jersey, with the six other agents the one to decide, ‘is the money part important by your less informed choices.” employed by the company. Her shifts are a comto me?’ Those students who try to create the best pilation of her filing administrative papers and Within the architectural discipline, he says he scenario oftentimes make it harder on themhelping with royalty statements, but she also knows of no entity not paying Kent State stu- gains permission to read submissions from lit- selves because the best scenario doesn’t exist.” dents interning with them. If a summer intern erary hopefuls. Pijor says it doesn’t matter whether the student’s is paid, the student’s experience typically “costs”the company around $1,000, and in the “My favorite part was revisions,” Gerren says. experience “takes place in a construction site, an grand scheme of many larger firms, this barely “They would give me manuscripts from their cli- office setting or a kitchen.” The priority is that makes a dent in their budgets. Fleming says, eth- ents, and I could say, ‘Okay, this works great. the student gains something, despite what their bank account looks like at the end of it. ically, companies have a responsibility to finan- This could improve.’ It went along so well with cially assist interns who are churning out the english major because the major taught me “There’s this big idea in economics of human capmultiple projects per week. to analyze as I read.” ital, which is essentially investing in yourself because it’s capital that, once you have it, it can’t That’s where the United States Department of Essentially, this presents a gray area—labor be taken away,” Sahajdack says. “One popular Labor comes in—according to its six regulations, varies in different industries. Contrary to the theory is to improve yourself, to improve your as long as interns are not doing work that ben- Fair Labor Standards Act, employers work on a efits the company directly, it is legal for them to sliding scale, granting interns fluctuating outlook. One of the best things you can do is go without financial compensation. responsibilities. In Gerren’s case, her literary invest in [that].” 14

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“I am a really opinionated person when it comes to unpaid internships, and I always said I would never be willing to take one unless I would really enjoy doing it for free.” —Emily Gerren Likewise, some may begin to open their minds to the idea of a smaller salary, especially if the payoff is networking with the best of the best. Businesses thrive primarily through social relationships and secondarily through financial earnings. It’s the idea of meeting people some may never have the opportunity to meet again, forming connections with higher-ups that could lead to a full-time job, or at the very least, a recommendation on a resume.

paper, professionally and interpersonally.” Flower shakes hands with a clinical intern named Alex during one of his shifts at Mercy Medical Hospital. Alex explains he attends Walsh University, which is one of Flower’s graduate school dreams. Being only one year younger than Alex, Flower feels like he can ask him anything, and Alex lights up as he speaks about the professors he should talk to and the programs he should look into.

for the internship, but there is a gray area there and I think that’s how a lot of companies approach it, saying, ‘well yes, the intern is going to benefit us,’” Sahajdack says. “If they see you getting coffee and scanning documents, and if they see you do a good enough job of that for free, why would they pay you if they can get someone else to do it for free?” In Sahajdack’s Principles of Microeconomics course, he teaches a lesson on supply and demand. This lesson details that if you shift the supply curve, you see the price go down. In other words, if employers add several workers to the low end of the market, the price is expected to decrease as well. Because of this, employees are not being displaced. Rather, there are a greater number of people competing for the same jobs with lesser financial reward.

The resume has become the constitution of “People who take on interns typically have that internships in the respect that it is a living, mentorship personality,” Stone says. “We have breathing document echoing powerful state- the entrepreneur, the boutique owner and the ments about the people. Sahajdack refers to company owner of a small establishment that this self-presentation with the economical idea engages a student and takes them on as their of signaling. This phenomenon describes the [mentee]. They bring them to workshops and implications that come with simple lines of text buying trips and help them interpersonally on a page. If an individual can record they com- develop. They become a partner and show them pleted their college degree, it sends signals to the ropes of what it means to be a professional.” Similarly, Pijor cautions students to remember employers—they are capable of handling a lot they are not only competing amongst Kent State at once, they have knowledge in the field they Whether the student is working with mannehopefuls, but against thousands of students quins, blueprints, drafts or workout mats, their wish to enter. across the United States and acknowledges the experiences will inevitably be different than difficulty in someone’s ink standing out within “Getting an internship, then, and completing it, those of a full-time employee. Typically, the may send a signal to a company that you’re an learning aspect of the program will take prece- the pile of resumes. employable person,” Sahajdack says. “Even if dence over the routine, assignment-driven com“Finding out what we don’t like gets us to what we that internship is basically garbage, even if what ponent steady staff members encounter. do like,” she says. “It’s a little bit of work along the you do there is essentially useless, there might way, but everything worth having, you work for.” B “You’re there to contribute, but be guided and be some value in that signal.” worked with,” Stone says. “It’s different than Being hired by an ideal employer may even have going to work every day where you’ve had your roots before a student’s undergraduate career. training and you [go] straight to work. The Hillary Stone, internship coordinator for the autonomy is different for a student doing an Fashion School, says if the experience is written internship versus an employee.” correctly, it can market the student as the total package because of their roles at the department However, some companies are under the mindstore or the fast food restaurant. Before ascend- set that because they are spending money on a personalized program for the intern, that teching into the dream job, reality has some great nically leaves them exempt from paying the indibenefit to an individual in the meantime. vidual on a weekly basis. The intern is still “I love the kid that worked at the grocery store or producing work for the company, and the comMcDonald’s,” Stone says. “Years ago on resumes, pany is still compensating for the intern’s eduyou would list your skills: dedicated team cational experience. member, people-oriented, compliant—you don’t do that anymore. The key is communication on “It’s certainly not in the spirit of the requirements THE BURR MAGAZINE

the INSTITUTE

warriors A look at the effects a decreased on-campus population has on the university. WORDS BY COLLIN CUNNINGHAM || ILLUSTRATION BY MARK TABAR

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he Esplanade is the great pedestrian artery that cuts through Kent State’s main campus, and it’s almost always crowded between classes. The Esplanade’s width is also what makes it obvious that campus is so barren on the weekends.

It’s impossible to deny the great difference between the number of people on Kent State’s campus on weekdays versus weekends. What’s less obvious, however, are the reasons why students leave Kent on the weekends and the effect that this migration has on campus.

“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are pretty heavy, and by Friday we start seeing a drop, probably a good 30 percent on Friday and all the way down to 50 percent of the volume on Saturday and Sunday,” Roldan says. The reasons students go home on the weekends vary depending on the individual’s scenario. Madison Newingham, a sophomore majoring in political science and history, has been commuting to Kent since her first semester. Her biggest reason for living off campus instead of in a residence hall is cost.

This should be important to any student who attends Kent. Not only does the amount of “[Living on campus] is so expensive,” Newingham says. “With no scholarship, it’s $10,000 people on campus affect the relationships one can form at Kent, it also has bearing on the abil- (per year), which is ridiculous because it’s a small room you share with a person. Most of them ity of students to complete their work. don’t even have their own bathrooms.” Richard Roldan, the current director of dining services for Kent State, says there are about Newingham lives in an apartment in Stow to cut down on personal costs. She says she’s seen 20,000 commuter students who attend Kent’s main campus. This accounts for more than half apartments available in Kent for as much as of the entire population of students who attend $8,000 and as little as $3,000 per year. classes here with only about 7,000 students living in residence halls.

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the INSTITUTE

A few other reasons for students not living in the residence halls include living conditions and rules. Some people prefer having their own bathroom and kitchen, while others like having the freedom to burn candles or incense in their residence.

lives are kind of blended together,” Rossello says. Based on her time as a student, Platton believes that staying on campus is more conducive to academic success and social nurturing, but Rossello disagrees.

“I think there’s more commuters than you’d think “I was able to focus more on my schoolwork when because campus is kind of dead on the weekends,” I’m alone at home versus in my room because I Newingham says. “I have no reason to come have lots of temptation to just hang out with my unless my friends want to hang out.” friends,” Rossello says. Diane Platton, residence hall director for the Lake and Olson communities, encourages her resident assistants to extend unique opportunities to students. “Sometimes some of our [resident assistants] will do things like a spa night,” Platton says. “They’ll buy some face masks or something for students to come and partake in. They’ll do microwave cooking programs; they’ve taken residents to [sports] games with them.”

Kent State’s on-campus population is easily cut in half with the number of people who go home on the weekends or live in off-campus apartments with no reason to return except for classes. This shift in student numbers reflects other aspects on campus, including dining. On the weekends, Prentice Café, coffee shops in the academic buildings and Kent Market 2 in the Student Center are closed.

the hours of Kent Market 2, which recently started closing earlier. For example, Roldan says during dinnertime the dining room connected to Kent Market 2 is utilized for students who want a space to gather. The dining options, however, were not. This leads to an unnecessary food and resource waste. Roldan says dining traffic typically slows down between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. on Friday and resumes its steady pace on Sunday evening. Different students are more comfortable living with various environments and lifestyles, each associated with distinct pros and cons, depending on the individual. “It definitely is kind of inhibiting to a social life, especially if you’re not personable and vocal,” Newingham says.

Some students find that spending time at home “We look at our counts, and we have the ability or on campus makes them want to try other When she was an undergraduate student, Platton to show how many customers come through,” living situations in the future. struggled with transitional issues and went home Roldan says. “That’s something we do daily to “I think I would have liked to be in Kent more to visit her family and friends most weekends. forecast how many customers we’re gonna anticbecause I feel like I missed out on a lot of school ipate during the day and during the week.” “Had I had that opportunity and ... programming events,” Rossello says. “I have not attended anyon the weekends, I probably would have stayed,” Kent’s dining administration looks at these num- thing at Kent, but I’m glad that I’ve made stronPlatton says. “I think it was more that I was look- bers to make snap decisions, such as switching ger friendships at home.” B ing for something to do, and I didn’t know how to get involved or what there was out there.” Katelyn Rossello, freshman majoring in studio arts echoed similar sentiments for going home from her residence hall during her first semester here. She started leaving every weekend for doctor’s appointments and then started feeling more comfortable at home. “I just started hanging out with my home friends on the weekend and my college friends during the week,” Rossello says. Living in the residence halls places students directly with other students, making it easier for freshmen to make friends. Newingham says she was initially worried that she would have trouble making friends without living on campus, but believes it was a good thing overall. “I do feel like the friendships I made are more meaningful because a lot of people [on campus] are friends with each other out of convenience,” Newingham says. Other students view Kent as a way to foster their friend groups. “I actually think it benefitted me a lot because, after making friends at school, I introduced them to my friends at home so now, like, both 18

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the STATE

common

Grounds

Local coffee shops offer tranquility with unique charm WORDS BY JAMIE BRIAN || PHOTOS BY JACQUELINE STOFSICK

Coffee has become a staple to get us through the busy shuffle of everyday life. Where we drink our coffee has become just as important as what we order. These shops have their own flair, and their relaxed atmospheres act as a haven from schedules and deadlines.

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Bent Tree Coffee Roasters Bent Tree Coffee Roasters in Kent offers the simplicity of a hot cup of coffee without the mystery of wondering how it was made. Baristas grind the coffee beans before you in a way that is honest and intimate. An elegant silver roaster arches up to the ceiling like branches of a tree. Bags of coffee beans with the Bent Tree turtle coffee cup logo line the counter. On one side of the room is an inviting, natural wood table for those who wish to kick back with a coffee mug in hand. But the main focus of Bent Tree is the coffee itself. They serve fair trade and organic coffee, the country of origin labeled on the bag.

Bent Tree roasts its beans in-house. The length of time the beans spend in the roaster helps to determine the flavor. They start with raw green coffee beans, and the beans are roasted until the sugars start to caramelize. With a light roast, more of the bean’s acid is left, so it has a brighter, fruitier flavor. As the roast darkens, more of the natural flavors are roasted, so it has a dark chocolate, smoky taste. Bent Tree also features French-press style coffee—coffee immersed in water for a bold taste—and pour over coffee, a cleaner type of extraction for a smooth taste. It’s a place for a serious coffee drinker to have control over their cup.

Its signature coffee is the Ethiopian Gedeo, a lighter roast with a distinct fruity flavor. The Black Squirrel Blend, a dark roast with a rich chocolate flavor and nutty undertones, is also popular. THE BURR MAGAZINE

the the CURRENT STATE

“I wanted a place where humanity can connect.” —Heather Ciranna

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Corner Cup Coffeehouse Corner Cup Coffeehouse in Stow is the kind of coffee shop that tricks visitors into believing they’re not in a coffee shop at all. It almost feels like sitting in the family living room, complete with a brick fireplace, homey leather couches and cozy study corners. Owning a coffee shop has been Heather Ciranna’s dream since she was 16 years old. She left a two-decade long corporate career to open Corner Cup Coffeehouse three years ago. She simplified her life and returned to the basics, wanting to become more involved in her hometown. The hanging blue metal letters “BE” are perhaps the centerpiece of the room, and they align with the owner Ciranna’s mission: “I wanted a place where humanity can connect.” Ciranna tries to tie her shop to the community by serving muffins from local businesses. She has collaborated with 2 Girls Cafe and Bakery to create the Corner Cup Mocha Blondie brownie, a blend of white chocolate, caramel and cold brew that sends the taste buds reeling. Corner Cup also features music and art by local residents. The current Artist of the Month wall displays vibrant watercolor paintings in pastel colors. Once a month, the casual space transforms into an acoustic stage as local musicians fill the room with music.

Ciranna’s shop is known for its Corner Cup mocha and nitro coffee. The Corner Cup mocha has an espresso base and is blended with white chocolate and caramel for a smooth, sweet flavor. Corner Cup’s nitro coffee is crafted from Ethiopian coffee beans that are lightly roasted and highly caffeinated. The beans are brewed for 24 hours and cut with water, then served out of a draft-style keg and pumped or infused with nitrogen gas. The nitrogen changes the drink’s color from light to dark as it bubbles to a cascading foam. Nitro has a bold flavor and smooth, creamy texture that is a good alternative for the coffee drinker who wants a sweet drink without the added calories of artificial flavors and sugars. The shop also offers nitro non-alcoholic cocktails in lavender and chamomile, made from these plants’ flowers. Cold brew coffee is infused with nitrogen and then served over ice in a cocktail glass. The lavender cocktail is aromatic with a subtle, sweet flavor that complements the coffee, and the chamomile cocktail has a taste similar to honey. Corner Cup Coffeehouse has come a long way since Ciranna first envisioned it in high school. It’s now bustling with new projects and recipes.

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the CURRENT

Morning Owl Morning Owl Coffeehouse in Munroe Falls blends the old and the new to create a unique kind of charm. “Different Names for the Same Thing” by Death Cab for Cutie drifts through a speaker and meshes with the whirring of a coffee grinder. A rustic red bookshelf in the corner of the room houses Ohio honey and syrup in mason jars while a stack of board games beckons curious visitors. The latest edition to the motley assortment of furniture is a stately white fireplace stacked with vases of cattails. Vintage windowpanes have been repurposed as a home for the hand-drawn menu. “Would you like a light or dark roast?” owner Joseph Hickin asks a customer. “You can smell all of them if you’d like.” And so begins a visit to Morning Owl, which features locally roasted coffees. Every cup is brewed to order. Hickin only buys enough coffee for one week to make sure that the array of flavors is constantly changing. Its most popular coffee is the Black Walnut, a nutty and smooth roast enriched by the natural flavor of walnut. 24

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Morning Owl has created its own twist on the mocha by grinding chocolate and placing it in a French press with coffee. The coffee brews as the chocolate melts, making for a tasty, caffeinated treat. Customers can add flavors like caramel, hazelnut and peanut butter. Danelle Hickin, co-owner and wife, makes the soups, sandwiches and pastries, specializing in muffins and scones. The blueberry blackberry scone surprises the senses with a sweet honey glaze, and the orange cream scone is another best seller. For the local sweet tooth, Morning Owl also serves coffee floats: ice cream with cold brewed coffee. Unique flavors include s’mores, cinnamon bun and banana split. Besides the assortment of roasts and homestyle food, Hickin describes Morning Owl as “a place to sit and listen.” Thursdays are live music nights, and the lineup has included everything from kazoo to violin players. The laid back atmosphere allows for easy conversation while enjoying a freshly brewed coffee.

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the ESPLANADE

not your average tea Ming’s Bubble Tea duo offers authentic ingredients from Taiwan WORDS BY ITZEL LEÓN || PHOTOS BY TALIA HODGE

he sound of water running fills the pistachio-colored room while ice is scooped. Everything goes silent until a tall man with buzzed hair intensely shakes tea and ice together as it swishes back and forth in a clear cup.

He purses his lips, concentrating on the cup in his hand and then stops, setting it on the counter. With a slight accent, he calls out the order and watches his customer take a drink. “Do you think it’s too sweet?” “I think it’s perfect.”

A Korean boy band, Big Bang, plays from the speakers as the owner talks to his wife in Chinese. Even with a serious face, his eyes are kind and happy as he waits for his next customer. Across from them is a “Hopes & Dreams” wall where customers write their wishes. Most of the wall is covered in multicolored sticky notes and wooden blocks hung up by red yarn. The hopes and dreams range from getting well and finding love to equality and “to finally meet my father.” They’re anonymous—some happy, some sad, but always catching people’s eye.

“Are you sure?”

“When I was little, near my middle school we had this coffee shop, and they had this little wishing He looks at the customer hoping to see a good wall,” co-owner Yueming Dong says. “You write reaction to dismiss his worries. Separating your own wish or things you want to say and the them is a counter decorated with a giant lucky owner would hang it on the ceiling. I thought it cat, a little chalk sign that reads, “Our wifi passwas really cool, and I liked to read other people’s word is tealovers” and army pamphlets that are wishes. I just felt the positive energy.” most likely from the U.S. Army recruiting office next door. After Dong and her husband, Mingliang Xie, or The customer smiles at him, reassuring him the just Ming, opened their tea shop, she decided to tea is great. The strangers wish each other good- have her own wishing wall. night before parting ways. Located at 1699 E Main St. in Kent, Ming’s Bubble Tea is a veteran-owned business that has gained popularity from its authentic drinks and kind owners. 26

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“I always wanted to do this. I feel this positive energy, and I feel that no matter who you are, people in general have a good wish,” she says. “It makes me happy. It makes people happy to see it, and I do hope their dreams come true.”

This Mango & Passion Fruit Tea with Popping Boba is one of Ming’s many beautiful and tasty drinks.

Xie was born in China and came to the United States in 2009. He joined the army to pay for college, but never finished his studies because he disliked school, so he left. After leaving school, Xie stayed in the army and planned to become a linguist. Because Dong wasn’t a legal U.S. resident at the time, the army didn’t grant Xie the top secret security clearance he needed to become a linguist.

surprise he’s sweating from shaking all the teas.

“Going into active duty is something he always

Xie takes pride in his bubble tea shop because

wanted to do, and he passed a really hard test,”

of its authenticity. No powder tea is used and

she says. “This was going to be a whole other

they emphasize the tea is freshly shaken. Their

career for him, but he gave it up for me, and I

stickers, the same color of pistachio as the walls,

appreciate that a lot.”

read “freshly shaken —taste the difference— share the love.” All of the products used at Xie’s are shipped from Taiwan, which can be a setback at times when they run out of products and

have to close for the day, but he says it’s worth it. So instead, Xie and Dong decided to get marHe wants to make the customer’s experience as ried. After that, Xie worked until he and his wife decided to make Dong’s dream come true and authentic as possible. they opened the first bubble tea shop in Kent. “Here’s the peach black tea. I’m so sorry for the Bubble, or boba, tea originated in Taiwan in the ’80s and has become popular in the United States in the past couple years. The drink is tea-based, shaken with milk or fruit flavors and then pearls (tapioca balls) or other “toppings,” like fruit jellies, are added. “We have six or seven drinks in front of you,” Xie says to me, concerned, as I assure him that the wait is fine. I take a seat and he sighs looking at the list of drinks that still need to be made. With only two people working behind the counter, it’s no 28

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wait,” Dong says to me.

In their culture, it’s custom for parents to give their children money when they get married. The children either use that money for their wedding or a house. Xie and his wife chose neither. Instead, they used their savings and the money given to them by their parents to open up Ming’s Bubble Tea. “You guys busy today?”

She stands about a foot shorter than her hus- “A little bit,” Xie replies to a customer. band. With her long black hair pulled back and a few strands in her face, she smiles because this is what she’s always wanted to do. When Dong was in high school, she would go with her friends to get bubble tea after school. She says bubble tea shops in China are like coffee shops in U.S. cities, and she misses seeing these shops everywhere. That’s why she appreciates Xie so much. She says he gave up a lot, including the linguist job in the army, to marry her.

Despite making drink after drink and telling customers their waiting period would be around 10 minutes, Xie doesn’t fail to be optimistic. “There’s really nothing to complain about, life is good,” he says. “Even if it’s not going the way you want it to be, you’re alive, you’re breathing, you know? Sometimes I do have negative emotions, but I try not to pass that to my customers.” Xie is a people person. He’s gotten to know cus-

Left: Xie sacrificed his military career to make Dong’s dreams of owning an authentic bubble tea shop a reality. Above: The “Hopes and Dreams” wall, created at the store’s opening, is covered in customer’s dreams and aspirations.

tomers and make friends with them. He says it’s the best part of his job because it’s not all about making money. It’s about making connections through people. Even though he doesn’t really listen to Big Bang, and they’re constantly played in the shop, he has them on his playlist for a customer that recommended them.

Some read, “Not only does this store have the best customer service, but they are friendly,” and, “Ming is awesome and super welcoming,” and multiple comments about the cashier being friendly, helpful and kind with “great service and outstanding owners who go beyond to please customers.”

Ming’s Bubble Tea was the first to open in Kent, but more have been popping up in the area. Xie isn’t too worried.

Even when they’re busy, and both Xie and Dong are occupied making drinks, they don’t forget to say goodbye to their customers in either English or Chinese, thanking them for coming in. B

“We never really wanted to compete with anybody,” he says. “As far as I know, we have the best bubble tea in town. And I’m very confident to say that. They’re just catching up with us.” Xie says the money they make doesn’t matter as long as they have a good reputation. “As long as you’re delivering the best quality you think you can possible to your customers, that’s success. You want your customers to recognize that,” he says. “Luckily for us, our customers have recognized that.” Reviews of Ming’s Bubble Tea on Facebook back his statements up, and there’s nothing but good things said about the service and the tea. THE BURR MAGAZINE

knitted with

Knitting for Those in Need uses yarn to create items that serve individuals in need of a helping hand or warm scarf. WORDS BY KAYLA STURM || PHOTOS BY SAMANTHA KARAM

ulticolored yarn loops around the Being a non-traditional student at the age of 56, pegs of a knitting loom. The yarn is Baldridge went back to school in 2010 with a being pulled up, over and off the peg. wide range of interests. Baldridge decided to Beautiful stitches are made to eventually create finish her nonprofit and human services mana pattern. There are many different items one agement certification ticket in conflict managecan make with a knitting loom; it is also one of ment and cultural anthropology. This is when the easiest forms to teach someone who wants the light bulb went off in her mind to start a to start knitting. Friday nights on the fourth nonprofit organization on campus. floor of the Kent State library is where students can be found knitting at the Knitting for Those “There was a lot of interest in the community to start a group,” Baldridge says. “I took surveys in Need (KTN) meetings. in my classes and tried to integrate with my The KTN organization was founded by Diane studies. I was testing the ground to start a nonBaldridge. These meetings bring together those profit organization.” who want to better the community while learnSince the organization started, it is becoming a ing a new skill and creating unique projects that can benefit different types of people. more well-known group within the community

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Caroline Kajder, a sophomore majoring in special education, practices loom knitting at the meeting on Mar. 4, 2017.

and popular for students to join, especially those with no knitting experience. The organization averages 20-plus people at meetings per week. The knitters are scattered on the couches and bean bag chairs near the windows. Some are in groups with friends, some by themselves and some are the leaders getting new members started.

Students knit during the weekly meeting. Students of all knitting abilities are encouraged to attend from 4-6 p.m. on Fridays.

Most of the items students knit during the KTN meetings are already started projects that need to be finished, or they begin their own project. KTN is a service that donates knitted clothing, like scarves and hats, to shelters within the area.

nights. This group helps find the needs within the community, whether that need is hats, scarves, knitted knockers or twiddle muffs. The projects are done through both the downtown group and the student group. These two groups work together to make a difference.

Kelsey Moran, a sophomore studying integrated health science, sits next to her friend “This is a student organization, but the strength Emily Laubenthal at the meeting while both of the organization is because we’ve created a Knitting isn’t an activity that comes to a millenpartnership with the town and the students,” loom knit scarves. nial’s mind when planning their Friday evening. Baldridge says. They are usually out with friends or exploring “It’s a really effortless way to get involved,” Moran nightlife downtown, but these individuals are says. “It’s easy to do and time goes fast.” The two KTN reaches a wide variety of people interested doing something more productive with their free in knitting and helping the community. Amber girls continue working on their projects as the Friday night. Chenoweth, a psychology professor at Hiram night goes on. College, heard about the group through a friend Sitting cross-legged on a blue bean bag chair A major project that KTN works on is called about three years ago. Chenoweth searched KTN Serena Zacour, a freshman majoring in speech knitted knockers, which are for women who on Facebook and was reconnected at the end of pathology and audiology, is working on a yelhad a breast cancer operation. The knitted summer 2014. low-patterned scarf. knockers originated from a group outside of Bellingham, Washington, and Baldridge At a Friday night meeting, sitting on a blue chair “I found this organization on the Kent website on the fourth floor, Chenoweth took out a knitted and read the description of it,” Zacour says. “I reached out to the group on how they can bring knocker from her bag. The small, baby pink was looking at the different organizations and I it into the Kent community. knocker looks like a small cup size that would go got excited about this one.” “We reached out to the Washington organization over a woman’s breast if she had a mastectomy. to send us orders. We are taking care of all of Zacour already knows how to needle knit and Ohio to make the knitted knockers,” Baldridge Riley Weatherholt, a leader and treasurer of likes to knit scarves, but this was the first time says. “Right now we have 85 requests to fill by KTN, is a well-rounded knitter; she knows how she experienced loom knitting. to needle knit, crochet and loom knit. As Weaththe end of [February].” erholt sits crossed-legged on the floor, she dis“Someone handed me this already-started scarf and taught me how to loom knit, but I learned The downtown group meets at Last Exit Book cusses some of the big projects KTN does and fast,” she recalls. and Coffeehouse in downtown Kent on Tuesday the importance of the twiddle muffs. THE BURR MAGAZINE

the CLASS

They fill out a form and tell us the size and color they want them in and we make them,” Chenoweth says. “It’s really great when we get thank you notes about the knitted knockers when women use them, we like the feedback.” The knitted knockers are just one of the popular projects, and KTN wants more knitters with experience and time to help. Twiddle muffs are another project that is in high demand from this organization. Twiddle muffs might have a strange name and a funny appearance, but they help people who have Alzheimer’s and those with social anxiety. These muffs are designed so they can move their fingers around on the inside of the muff. The people are what brings this group together, but there are other benefits as well. Besides

learning knitting techniques, knitting can also be a form of therapy. Courtney Wolfe, president of the KTN group, expressed how much she missed knitting for fun because her busy class schedule didn’t grant free time to dedicate to knitting. There were days Wolfe would spend sitting in her room, knitting and watching Netflix to enjoy some relaxing time. “It’s a very stress relieving activity, and I’ll be on autopilot while I’m knitting,” Wolfe says. At the end of the two-hour meeting, the knitters carfully start to pack up their projects into plastic bags, which are then secured in giant plastic tubs. Whether the same knitters return to these unfinished projects or another person picks it up, young or old come to contribute in making these items. They are made with careful consid-

eration of others who need help. There is always a process in creating colorful, exciting and wonderful projects. Those who aim to make a difference through leadership and community service are welcome to join the community of KTN. Louise Ditchey, the faculty adviser for this group, feels honored to be part of this team. “One of the most enjoyable things I have done in my many years here is be the faculty adviser for this group,” Ditchey says. “We have an enthusiastic team. We all pull together to help a cause and make a difference.” B

Knitting looms enable individuals who are new to knitting, learn the proper methods of knitting.

KTN President, Courtney Wolfe, knits a green scarf during one of the weekly meetings.

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the CLASS

UNMASKED

Being a male in the female-dominated world of dance WORDS BY ALEXANDRIA KOBRYN || PHOTOS BY JANA LIFE

t’s 11 a.m., and Gregory King’s modern class is in session. Seven women are spread across the vinyl floor of studio D122, clad in the traditional black leotard with hair tightly pulled into a bun. In the midst of all the estrogen is a single male dressed in a black tank top and gray sweatpants. His muscles are clearly defined on his back, shoulders and arms.

Austin Coats, a senior majoring in dance, enrolled in his first official dance class three years ago. However, his interest in dance originated as a child after watching Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory dance the running-man. He was unable to attend dance classes during his childhood due to financial reasons, but was very involved with gymnastics, which later helped with transitioning into dance.

entering the dance community is growing, along with the opportunities to dance professionally. “You have your cruise ships, and you have your theme parks, you have television work—I think there’s a lot more opportunities for dancers today than there were before,” she says.

of the work they decided to pursue. Her first dance partner was heterosexual, and her second dance partner was homosexual. A majority of males in the dance company she attended were heterosexual as well.

“I think people like to call them fairies, gay, light in the loafers, just because of what they did for a living Dancers are not limited to just dance companies and it was beyond the norm,” Black says. “My mom and Broadway, but a whole variety of outlets that had the Cleveland Browns come take ballet classes. some people may never consider needing proBig, big guys trying to get light on their feet and fessional dancers or some sort of dance backstand on the balls of their feet all the time.” ground. For example, music videos, cheerleaders, some Disney World characters and circus per- The gay stereotype that many male dancers face formers typically have dance backgrounds. has been something that has affected Coats since

Trends show there has been an increase in male dancers, and it’s thanks to films like “Billy Elliot,” performances by male dancers like Cuban ballet dancer Carlos Acosta and TV shows like “The X Factor.”

he was a young boy. Black has an extensive history in dance. Her mother was a dance teacher and owned a dance “I remember as a child I was afraid to experiment school in Parma for 52 years, which is where with dancing soft and balletic because of how Black first began to dance, taking lessons in tap, ‘emasculated’ I might seem to my peers and jazz, ballet and pointe. She came to a revelation family, so I was really into hip-hop and strayed later in life that she didn’t necessarily want to be away from that style until around high school,” a ballerina, but was more interested in musical he says. theater and Broadway. Regardless of that choice, Coats’ sexuality has been assumed because he is she has still undergone great dance training. She a male pursuing dance, but the assumption was a part of an Ohio dance company at the age doesn’t usually occur until after he mentions the of 15 for two years, and she studied under the type of dancing he enjoys and trains in. For direction of George Balanchine, co-founder of the New York City Ballet, and Geoffrey Holder, example, he is assumed to be more feminine for practicing ballet versus hip-hop. a choreographer and dancer.

MaryAnn Black, an assistant professor in the theater department, agrees that the number of males

Black acknowledges that male dancers are ste- Dance Informa Magazine says a ballerina’s reotyped by society as being homosexual because “instrument is [their] physique.” In an article

Coats is the only male dance major in the Kent State dance department, although there are several males majoring in theater who enroll in beginner dance courses and males who are minoring in dance.

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“I remember as a child I was afraid to experiment with dancing soft and balletic because of how ‘emasculated’ I might seem to my peers and family.” —Austin Coats

Austin Coats practices ballet at the Roe Green Center for the Performing Arts. Coats hopes to pursue dance in a large city once he graduates.

titled “The Ideal Ballet Body,” author Brian Nolan examines the physical expectations of ballerinas since its creation. “In reality, the ideal physique for a female classical dancer is slim, with a long neck, a shortish to medium length torso, long legs with complimentary long arms and high insteps,” Nolan writes. Nolan briefly delves into the male counterpart of these female dancers, stating that male dancers need to be strong in order to properly execute lifts during dances. However, he focused on the necessity of females being light in order for these lifts to work.

Coats, as a male dance student, personally has not felt the pressure of having to conform his body and believes that men don’t have as strict of a body expectation as women, but has noticed trends among males between different dance companies. Males do find themselves having to look a certain way or fit a certain body type, but they have a little more leeway. “Versatility is one thing all male dancers should have. But [dance companies] all do look for something different,” Coats says. “I believe it depends on what style it is and what the company wants. Like for Complexions Contempo-

“As males generally mature at a later stage than girls do, girls need to be ideally slim or light so the demands on the boys’ bodies during lifts aren’t too great,” he writes. “The girls [in general] also need to be shorter than the boys due to their increase in height en pointe.” 36

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rary Ballet, they want their guys as flexible as their girls.” Black weighs in on what she has observed about men’s body types in the professional dance community.

“Short, stocky men aren’t going to cut it,” she says. “I don’t see a lot of short, stocky men in ballet companies … or in New York City.”

tendency “to conform to the stereotype of the ‘perfect dancer.’”

Coats says black dancers face the stereotype of not having a body built for ballet, especially women who are built wider, thicker and curvier. But that standard has been broken by dancers like Misty Copeland and Desmond Richardson. Copeland was the first African-American female principal dancer with the American Ballet Theatre, and Richardson was the first male African-American principal dancer with the American Ballet Theatre.

Black says men with eating disorders aren’t disIn college, the pressure for dancers to have a cussed often within the dance community. She certain body type isn’t as consuming as it is in has encountered a few male dancers with eating the professional dance community. Student disorders over the span of her dance career, dancers should be fit enough to be able to accu- although she believes it’s more of a psychological rately execute the required routines and combi- issue than anything else. nations. This is no problem for Coats because of all the walking he does from class to class and Besides being the only male dance major, Coats also experiences some issues due to being black. “Sometimes, when I’m the only black guy in class, the numerous daily dance classes he’s required they look to me when we’re in jazz or talking to take. His history with gymnastics also played “I get tired of movement that you’re not used to about the roots of jazz, which is Africa,” Coats a role in muscle memory. as a black person,” Coats says. “I started in hip- says. “They’re gonna look at me for the voice of hop, so I’m used to being grounded or hunched the black people when that’s not appropriate at Sometimes there is a direct correlation between all. You have one black person’s perspective. I body image and eating disorders in female danc- over. Then you come into ballet which is based ers. The Royal Ballet School in London, England on your opinion standards and beauty, so every- don’t speak for all of us.” B has posted an eating disorder policy on its web- thing’s upright and vertical, when in Africa everything is low or more horizontal … you have site that states its students are more susceptible to developing eating disorders because of the to adapt to that kind of thing.” THE BURR MAGAZINE

the CURRENT

BREAKING

the millennial mold PHOTOS AND INTERVIEWS BY JANA LIFE

illennials, those of us who were born between the years of 1983 and 1995, have surpassed the baby boomers as America’s largest living generation. We are starting careers and families, finishing school and entering the years we have coined for so long as ‘the real world.’ But what does the ‘real world’ think about us, and what do we think about ourselves? As a generation, we emerged from the shadow of our baby boomer predecessors, who began to define us by our selfies, our tweets and our celebrities. Whether or not we are a self-fulfilling prophecy, or if this ever widening gap between ‘us’ and ‘them’ is self-induced, will always remain a mystery. But it cannot be denied that we are a 38

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generation of unprecedented change and impact. With wide eyes and little understanding, we watched the war on terrorism be born into a rapidly evolving society. Social media is a staple of our everyday lives, and we can’t fathom the idea of not going to college. In some ways, it feels like our identity was chosen before we had time to prove ourselves worthy, and those who chose it are now waiting—waiting to see if we live up to this expectation that has been set for us.

Halle Detweiler

and don’t work for stuff,” Detweiler says. “It makes me frustrated because there are so many people who are fully capable and have that talent, and they’re wasting it.”

Halle Detweiler just wants millennials to realize their potential. While going through recruitment her freshman year, Detweiler Despite this, Detweiler has hope. never imagined she would someday become the chapter president of her sorority, Alpha Xi “I think we are a really solid generation that Delta. Now a junior in the fashion merchandis- is making a difference throughout the whole world,” she says. ing program, Detweiler just wants to make a difference in the lives of girls around her. “I want to be that person motivating them,” she says. Detweiler would categorize the millennial generation as educated, creative and motivated, but she feels not everyone sees it that way.

roles. Racially, whereas before [with] my generation, I still have people that will say things like ‘white music,’ or ‘black music,’ I don’t know if millennials still have that.” If Giles could give a piece of advice to the millennial generation, it would be to learn patience. In Giles’ opinion, millennials are more prone to stress and anxiety than previous generations when life doesn’t go exactly the way they planned.

Vince Giles

“[Patience] is counter-intuitive to so much of what so many millennials are oriented for,” he says. “Some anxiety can be traced to trying to Vince Giles has been working with the millenmanage something that hasn’t yet happened, nial generation for 15 years now as an adviser and maybe to a lesser degree, something that for Kent State. Generation Xers were born has already happened. But it’s rarely in the now.” sometime between 1960 and 1980, and Giles falls under this generation at age 47. Working every day with the millennial generation has given him hope for the future.

“[Baby boomers] don’t expect much out of us,” Detweiler says. “You are always going to be more successful than the previous generation, and I feel like people don’t think that is going to happen anymore. I feel like I need to prove “I’m cool with millennials running things for a that I am actually hard working, and I know while,” Giles says. “They’ll do a better job than what I’m doing and that I am not incompetent. previous generations did, I hope.” We as a generation get talked down to a lot.” He noted that the biggest difference between millennials and the rest of the world is centered She sees her generation as a mixed bag— around the social progress that has been underteeming with diversity and, in her own words, way in recent history. “unapologetically themselves,” while at the same “The walls are not as clearly defined,” Giles, a time, limiting their own potential. part-time D, says. “It’s so much more fluidity “A lot of kids our age are just handed everything of identity. It’s so much more fluidity of gender

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Matt Stouffer

Stouffer notes that this may stem from the millennials’ needs for recognition and status in society.

Laura Arnold

Matt Stouffer has lived a lot of life in a short “I think the defining factor of a millennial would “I am so hopeful,” says Laura Arnold, a nontra22 years—likely more than most millennials be that they want to be important,” Stouffer ditional student, born at the tail end of the baby his age. After working for his father’s real estate says. “They want to be remembered for some- boomer generation, about millennials. “Just agency, Stouffer Real Estate, he decided to get thing. They want to feel important, and they coming back to school has been so eye-opening, his real estate license at 19 and started buildand I am inspired to death by you guys. You are actually want to be important, but they don’t ing his own portfolio a year later. Aside from doing so much. I don’t know how you do it all. I know how… They’re kinda aimless.” working full time as an agent, Stouffer is purwasn’t where you guys are at your age. I would suing a degree in business management at the Part of this is to blame on society’s view on have been having too much fun!” University of Akron and also got married a few higher education today. Stouffer says millenniAfter raising two twin boys and watching them months ago. als are taught that they need a piece of paper move to California to pursue their dream of from a university or college to prove their worth, Work ethic is something that is important to acting in Los Angeles, Arnold decided it was and, for him, that’s a huge problem. Stouffer Stouffer, and he sees so many fellow millennials her turn. She returned to school to finish her believes the world “needs more electricians, not who aren’t willing to put in the effort required b bachelor’s degree in communication studies philosophers,” and the idea that higher educa- and believes it was the best thing she ever did. them to reach their goals. Stouffer says most tion is necessary to be successful is a lie. millennials don’t want to start at the bottom Going to college with millennials, interacting of the totem pole and work their way up, but with them every day in school clubs and spendAs a Christian, Stouffer’s greatest advice to his would rather get their dream job straight out. ing time with them in class has given Arnold a generation would be: “Go love people that need respect for this generation that inspires feelings loved. Go give your life to the oppressed. You “You go to work from 9-5,” he says. “You work of hope and admiration. want to do something important? Love people hard. You do your job, and it’s behind a desk a lot of the time or it’s not something super enjoyable, well. Go after the helpless. Go after the slavery “You guys have included me and been so kind,” in the world. Go after the oppressed, and go but you do it because that’s where you start. You she says. “It’s going to be very sad to leave.” help them.” gain experience. You gain knowledge.” Arnold will be graduating this spring and moving to California with her sons. She feels inspired by their bravery, which is something she sees in a lot of millennials. She speaks fondly of the ambition and social awareness millennials possess. “You guys are the future,” she says. “I am rooting for you.” Though Arnold says she would much rather hang out with millennials than someone of her own generation, she does recognize one key difference between the millennial generation and generations before them: technology. “You guys have everything in the palm of your hand,” Arnold says. “You can Google anything. You just know so much more than we did.” However, she notes that this creates a downfall for the millennial generation as well because of the attachment they have to technology, cell phones in particular. “You can’t form a relationship and get a bond with a customer or a client without them hearing your voice,” she says.

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Samy Bhatt

own life when he came to the United States. He moved overseas alone and worked in California before moving to Ohio to attend school. Getting a job and even living alone before the age of 25 is uncommon in India, and Bhatt had to adjust.

Samy Bhatt has had the unique privilege of experiencing his generation in two different cultures. Growing up in India and moving to the United States in 2015 has given him incred- “It was a new experience,” he recalls. “I adapted to it quickly. I don’t know how. It was a hard ible insight into these two different cultures. time, but I did it.” “Millennials in India, we don’t really worry Bhatt’s story is far from typical, further proving about our future that much, which is a bad the diversity and depth this generation embodies. thing in one way and a good thing in another way,” he says. “[It is a] bad thing because you “I don’t think there is a [millennial] mold or are immature. If you don’t worry, you won’t anything because in our generation, we can be progress. [The] good thing is you won’t have anything we want,” he says. stress on you, which is good for your health.” Bhatt says, although there are many differences between the two cultures, one thing is common among both. “We give up easily if we don’t have any motivation for [something], but once we have the motivation, we are unable to stop,” he says. This resilience was demonstrated in Bhatt’s 42

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the CURRENT

comprehension begins with

CONVERSATION Colorblind racism refers to the act of not seeing color, but instead viewing everyone as equals. WORDS BY TANISHA THOMAS || ILLUSTRATION BY MARK TABAR

he words of Israel’s former Prime Minister Golda Meir stand out against the bright green wall: “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.”

to think of ways to take action. In his sophomore year, he joined “Students for Justice in Palestine,” SJP for short, who shared his opinion of the quote.

see what the problem to start seeing it and possibly work on solving it.”

The recount of Mousa’s story exemplifies an ideolIn fall 2016, Mousa wrote to the administration, ogy swarming around social media—this idea is known as “colorblind racism.” According to Psyexplaining why he disliked the quote and wished The quote continues, but Yousof Mousa, a junior chology Today, colorblind racism is the racial idefor its removal. Kent State did not respond until majoring in biology, doesn’t read on. He’s passed Mousa wrote a letter that was published in The ology that believes the best way to end this quote many times during his three years at Kent Stater. The university said it would not discrimination is by treating individuals as equally Kent State and remembers his feelings of dis- replace or remove the quote because it would be as possible, without regard to race, culture or ethtaste the first time he saw it. nicity. Common phrases associated with this ide“counter to [Kent State’s] core institutional values ology are “I don’t see color,” “everyone is equal” or of supporting a diversity of cultures, beliefs, iden“The quote itself did not bother me, but the ... pol“we are all human.” Race can be a difficult convericies and actions of the person who said it does,” tities and thought.” The response made Mousa and SJP feel like the university did not care about why sation depending on who is involved in the discusMousa says. sion. The conservation can cause heated debates they felt offended by the quote displayed. and stress, which is why the idea of “not seeing The display in Bowman Hall makes him question color” can be seen as an easy alternative. However, if the university knew who the person was or what “It’s very important to talk about these issues because the major part of solving a problem is by putting a blindfold on racism only strengthens the she did to Palestinians. Meir allegedly participated recognizing it,” Mousa says. “Discussing the issue blatant corruption in our government system and in the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in Israel. The the people it’s affecting. questions floating in Mousa’s head motivate him will bring attention to it and make those who don’t 44

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In this current era seen as “post-racial,” the idea of George Garrison, a professor for the depart- Police brutality has increased over the years. Excessive force is the most common police misconduct; not seeing color is slowly being adopted by many ment of Pan-African Studies, says students at millennials. In a poll conducted by MTV in 2014, Kent State can be affected by the avoidance of chokeholds and baton strikes are a couple of examples. Mapping Police Violence reported that in 73 percent of millennials said never considering addressing racism. 2016, police killed an estimate of 303 black people race could improve society. Similarly, 72 percent in the United States. It also states black people are of millennials think their generation believes in “Some of the young [whites] don’t realize some of the experiences that African-American stu- three times more likely to be killed than white equality more than older people. dents in this generation have, they’re not having people. In 2015, 97 percent of cases didn’t result Jonathan Hibbs, a white freshman majoring in it,” Garrison says. “So they see integrated audi- in police officers being charged of crime psychology and pre-med, is a part of the 73 percent ences, integrated sitcoms and integrated movies. at Kent State. They see racism as a thing of the past. It’s seen “When young people—and some of the older generations—fail to realize we’re still living in a society as just a documentary.” “Not factoring in race during conversations would that is dominated by these various types of biases help overcome racism because it’s better to judge “Whitewashing” has become a bigger issue in Hol- and these various ways that people are discrimia person on the content of their character and not lywood as white actors take roles meant for people nated against, we miss opportunities to correct the color of their skin,” Hibbs says. “I find that the of color, especially when the cultural aspects of the that,” Garrison explains. only thing race defines is where your ancestry lies movie expand outside of America. For example, the on part of our planet. I believe there is truly one 1915 version of “Birth of a Nation” became contro- Those are just a few examples of systematic racism in America. Whether these practices are intended race, and that’s human race.” versial because of its racist depiction of Afrito oppress minorities is the question, but realizing However, Reina Watson, an Afro-Latina fresh- can-Americans. The lead in the movie also wore the problem is important nonetheless. blackface to portray a black man. The movie man majoring in political science, believes sparked riots and was banned from several cities “Colorblind racism really silences the struggle speaking about race can bring an understanding because of the controversy. that people of color go through,” Watson says. of why certain people feel the need to express “It’s dangerous when a person not of color talks their concerns. Pretending to see people as only humans erases the about not seeing color because I feel they have identities of those that make up America’s “melting “They really choose not to see the racism that we go a stronger voice.” through, and they really don’t want to acknowl- pot.” It also erases the experiences of racism people of color in America may encounter on a day-to-day It is important for the majority of white people to edge the fact racism still exists,” Watson says. “We basis. It’s important to confront these issues in be the voice of the voiceless. The conversation really need to talk about it and not ... make it seem society that are preventing people of color to thrive begins when a person is able to listen and underlike everything around us is okay when it’s not.” in this country. stand where minorities are coming from in a situThe presidency of a black man and blockbuster ation. Tackling racism head on will result in unity movies such as “Hidden Figures,” “Moonlight” and The National Association for the Advancement of across America in the long run. B “Fences” gaining attention have lead people to Colored People reported that African-Americans believe the racial issues in society have diminished. account for 1 million out of 2.3 million people in jail. Likewise, African-Americans are incarcerated While these accomplishments may be nods to six times more than whites. In an article written minorities thinking they cannot thrive in an by Huffington Post contributor Bill Quigley, Afrioppressing society, a few accomplishments do not make up for the systematic practices people of can-Americans wait for trials longer, and longer color have to fight through in order to gain success. sentences most likely go to a person of color. THE BURR MAGAZINE

beauty in the Finding the strength to move on when things seem at a loss WORDS BY JESSICA DARLING PHOTOS BY TALIA HODGE || ILLUSTRATION BY MAHLON RHODES

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Jessica Darling shares her story in hopes of helping others.

boredom, but none of it has ever bothered me until this year, my senior year. The girl I consider my best friend has begun to join the “playful” banter about me in the halls. It’s becoming hard to handle the drama that has ensued and it is dividing the people I call friends within my school. I am being bullied by a girl I have considered a close friend since my freshman year. I don’t understand her reasons for doing what she does other than a game of he said/she said. Her reign of terror starts small and psychological. We are both editors for the school yearbook, which means we have access to everything required to create the yearbook. That includes other people’s layouts and designs they are working on. When looking through the layouts I designed, I began to notice things like my class picture missing from the page. I don’t think anything of it when I first notice it. I just replace the picture thinking someone accidentally deleted it. I begin to realize it wasn’t an accident. As I continue to go through the yearbook, I notice all the pictures of me are gone or I was cropped out of them. It had become more and more clear to me that my pictures are being erased intentionally.

rowing up in a small town with a graduating class of 28 people is hard. People get bored and create drama to enter-

tain themselves because there is nothing else to

do. It’s typical to walk down the hallway and hear rumors spread about you as you pass. “She’s such a hoe,” I overhear a senior say in one of my classes. “I heard she slept with him.” “She’s a bitch. It’s probably because she can’t lose weight and has a mole on her face,” says a boy I had known since preschool. “Why is she so weird and annoying?” says a girl I never got along with. From time to time throughout my high school experience, I have become a target of people’s

whispered in the hall because I don’t have to put a face to who is saying the things about me. Online, I know who is making comments, who is spreading rumors and who agrees with or believes them. I wish she would do us all a favor and just kill herself already #Bye Fifteen favorites and five retweets. I make my account private and block her and anyone who favorited or retweeted her subtweets about me. After I make the account private, I begin to receive text messages from numbers I don’t know with things like, “U stupid bitch ur gonna learn not 2 fuk with us,” and “If I see u at school im going to hurt you.” I am starting to become overwhelmed and afraid to go to school. I am starting to hate myself. When I look in the mirror, I see someone I don’t recognize. She is useless, worthless and there is no point of her existence. The girl staring back at me is sickly skinny. Her eyes are hollowed out. She is taking up space where she isn’t wanted. The next day at school there is a note taped to

my locker. She upped her game a little more every day. I never say anything to her about the pictures. I “Kill yourself.” just convert the layout back to its original form. After seeing she isn’t going to get a reaction from All I know is I quit; I am done fighting a war I me, she decides to try playing mind games from will never win. a different angle. She goes through and deletes The yearbook teacher notices the things that are the layouts I create before we critique them in occurring in the class. However, she is more conclass. Still not willing to give her a reaction, I cerned with what drama is happening within the apologize to the teacher for not having my assignment done on time and recreate the orig- school and gossiping with the students instead of being a disciplinary figure. I guess that’s another inal layout that was previously there. disadvantage to growing up in a small town. These things are a minor inconvenience to me. I can easily replace pictures, deal with the psycho- I should go to someone higher up about the logical games and recreate the layouts she has deleted. What I can’t deal with is every time I get on Twitter, I see subtweets directed toward me. Even though the people never directly tag me in the tweets, I can still see them, and they know I can. Fat bitch will get what’s coming to her #NobodyLikesYou It has 10 favorites and two retweets. It tears me apart to see people openly say these things about me. It is different than hearing rumors

issues, but it doesn’t matter how hard you try to keep things private. They always have a way of being exposed for everyone to see. If I were to tell anyone what was going on the entire town would know, and everyone would take sides and add fuel to the fire. So I keep quiet and hope everything will go away on its own. Defeated, I turn to the internet to see how others like me deal with the feelings I am having and the things I am going through. I find a community of people who recommend self-harm on Instagram THE BURR MAGAZINE

the CURRENT

CLASS OF 2013

There I am, a 17-year-old senior in high school: broken, scarred, shattered and numb. Mascara rolls down my cheeks with each fresh tear I shed. Sobs escape me as I try to quietly cry in my bedroom. I try to hide the pain that grips me as blood runs down the right side of my abdomen. The small blade I smashed out of a pencil sharpener in desperation with one of my dad’s hammers lays beside me on the floor. Eventually, cutting myself is not enough. I want to end my suffering for good. Things at school are getting worse. People who don’t even know me are coming up to me. “Just kill yourself already and put the rest of us out of our misery,” says a freshman I have never met. I give in. That day I go home determined that it was my last day feeling this way. After my parents and sisters fall asleep, I silently creep up the stairs from my bedroom to the kitchen. The second shelf on the right is where we keep all the medication in my household. The medications range from my sister’s attention deficit hyperactivity disorder medication, my mother’s migraine relief pills, my father’s pain relief pills from the shoulder surgery he had and your everyday medications like Tylenol and Ibuprofen.

and Twitter. I decide to create an anonymous account on each and follow other accounts like mine. Accounts of people who are also looking to end the suffering they live day to day.

uniforms reveal a lot of skin. It starts out small

Some accounts recommend starving yourself because then you can feel the dull ache of your stomach. I only eat half of every serving I make for myself, regardless of how hungry I am. I have nothing else to lose, so I try some of the more extreme options people suggest. Some recommend different places you can hurt yourself where others wouldn’t see the marks or it wouldn’t be noticeable. I choose my rib cage and inner thighs because I play volleyball and the

The websites are right. Physical pain, self-harm—

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with pinching myself until I build up the courage to do more—to feel more. Then I go from burning myself to finally cutting myself.

it does alleviate the pain within me. It is the only time I am capable of feeling some form of control over myself and how I am feeling. I self-harm because it is the only form of feeling I can allow myself to have. Otherwise, when I find myself alone at night, the numbness I feel will slip away, and I find myself drowning in self-hate, hopelessness and an overwhelming sadness.

I fill a plastic cup with water, kiss my sisters goodbye one last time on their foreheads as they sleep and write a goodbye letter to my parents. I lock my bedroom door, throw a handful of pills in my mouth, gulp down the water and lay on my bed, thoughts of not waking up in the morning running through my mind. To my disdain, I wake up the next morning and pretend nothing happened the night before. I throw the note away and get ready for school, just like any other day. I sit through another day of taunts about killing myself. When walking home from school that day, I am silently crying to myself when my mother pulls up next to me. She got off work early and decided to pick my sisters and me up from school. She continues to ask what is wrong, instead of answering, I show her my wrist.

“There I am, a 17-year-old senior in high school: broken, scarred, shattered and numb. Mascara rolls down my cheeks with each fresh tear I shed.” —Jessica Darling It is covered in scratches from a paper clip. I had gotten desperate after the long day I had at school and cut myself before going home. Unable to contain my emotions, I lose control and tell my mother everything. The next night, my parents take me for a car ride to the hospital. I am uncooperative with the nurses and furious with my parents for setting me up in what feels like a trap. I am hospitalized in a place called the Lindner Center, which specializes in the care of adolescents. The center has us on a strict schedule to keep our minds busy. We meet with a psychologist once a day and aren’t allowed to wear shoes or clothes that have strings in them. We aren’t even allowed to close the doors to our rooms because the staff fears the things we can do to ourselves behind them. After being in the center for some time, the doctors determine I can be discharged as long as I meet with a psychologist and psychiatrist once a week. They diagnose me with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. I don’t believe them at first. When I think of bipolar disorder, I think of the Sour Patch Kids commercial. One minute the Sour Patch Kid is cutting someone’s hair off in their sleep and the next it’s being sweet and giving the hair back like nothing ever happened. According to the doctors, bipolar disorder is hard to diagnose. So rare, in fact, that most people who have it are not diagnosed because you have to be observed over a period of time. I don’t think I have drastic mood swings, but it turns out that’s not what bipolar disorder is. It is manic and depressive episodes. With the help of medication and weekly visits with doctors to discuss my feelings, my mood becomes better. The depression is easier to handle than it has ever been. Returning to school is hard. There are a lot of questions about where I had been during the time of my hospitalization. The bullying continues, and after my first day back, my dad has to pick me up and bring me home. I was over-

whelmed by the school environment after being in the controlled atmosphere of the center for two weeks. Over time, I become able to handle the situations better because of my support system at home.

PRESENT DAY

HOW TO GET HELP:

Four years have passed since my hospitalization,

Akron Area Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

the last time I self-harmed and my suicide

330-344-6475

attempt. I am now a senior at Kent State finishing with my last semester of college. Some days

Coleman Professional Services

I still struggle to get out of bed, and sometimes

colemanservices.org 330-296-3555

I even find myself slipping back into the depression. If I had not been hospitalized, I would not be writing this, and I would not be the person I am today. Truthfully, I would have continued to hate and torture myself. I would have ended up attempting to take my life again, and succeeding. I was broken four years ago, but when I look back now, I see all the things I accomplished and overcame in those four years. The scars on my side have begun to fade, but I will never forget the lesson I have learned. Tattooed over my scars are the words, “Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see it.” This is a permanent reminder of what I have endured. They say there’s beauty even in the broken, it’s just harder to find. The beauty is in the battle and the triumph once you win the war. It is not something you can see during the war because of the chaos. Looking back now, I have found the beauty in the broken mess I was. B

Mental Health and Recovery Board mental-health-recovery.org 330-678-4357

National Suicide Prevention Line suicidepreventionlifeline.org 800-273-8255

Ohio Crisis Text Line crisistextline.org Text 4hope to 741741

Psychological Services kent.edu/psych 330-672-2487

the FEATURES

of the sky How the Air Race Classic has inspired generations of women to fly WORDS BY JAMIE BRIAN || PHOTOS BY CHRIS SPEGAL

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ine years after women earned the right to vote, they took to the skies in the 1929 Women’s Air Derby. Twenty female pilots, including Amelia Earhart, competed in the 2,700-mile air race from Santa Monica, California, to Cleveland. At the time, only 70 women in the United States held pilot’s licenses, according to the Ninety-Nines, an international organization of women pilots.

Today, the tradition of fearlessness and defying convention continues with the all-female Air Race Classic, a 2,400-mile course that must be completed in four days during daylight hours. The Air Race Classic celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2016. Kent State was represented for the first time in the race by Jaila Manga, a junior majoring in flight technology, and Carissa Marion, a Kent State graduate and former flight instructor for the aviation program. Manga will crawl back into the cockpit for the 2017 Air Race Classic in Frederick, Maryland. When Manga heard that Kent State was considering submitting a team, she was ecstatic. “I was really excited that they were considering letting me go,” she says. “I’ve never really flown outside of this portion of the country, and the opportunity to fly over the Rocky Mountains seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime thing.” Manga, who had her first flight lesson in spring 2015 at the Kent State Airport, was inspired to get involved with aviation during a family trip to Florida when she was in fifth grade. “We took off, and I just kind of looked at my mom and said, ‘I think I want to be a pilot,’” Manga says. She followed her passion a step further this past summer when she participated in the Air Race Classic. The race began on June 21 in Prescott, Arizona, and finished in Daytona Beach on June 24. Preparation for race day began a week before the planes lined up in Arizona as Manga and Marion planned their route from Kent to

Prescott and hydrated for the hot days ahead, flying over the desert.

but it doesn’t really compare to flying over on your own.”

On the first day of the race, Manga’s plane was one of the last to take off, and with the wave of a flag, her Cessna 172 began its roll down the runway and into the sky.

From Illinois, Manga’s team headed to the race terminus in Daytona Beach and arrived on June 23. As they were coming in to land, they could see the Daytona International Speedway and beach-goers on the sand.

“The first thing we saw was a mountain pass in front of us, so we had to make sure that we were climbing at an adequate enough rate that we could clear it,” Manga says. After Manga set the plane for the correct altitude and heading, she began preparing for her first flyby. In a race, there are eight to 10 stops, and racers are required to fly a timing line at each one. A table of judges and spotters sit in a designated area adjacent to the taxiway or runway flyby path with stopwatches to time planes. To perform the timing line, the plane is only 200 feet above the ground and flying at full throttle. The team’s first stop was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After spotting the airport, Manga and Marion briefed each other on the flyby with information from their race binder and circled back to land. “It was a very crowded fuel stop, but after we refueled, we took off again,” Manga says. After three hours of flying, the team stayed in Midland, Texas, for the night. The next day, they made it to Champaign, Illinois.

“Daytona Beach is a very busy airport with regional jets flying in, so there was a lot of traffic and radio communication,” Manga says. “As excited as we were to finish, we were just focused on getting back to land.” The race opened Manga’s eyes to a future in the aviation industry by talking with other racers. “One thing that surprised me was how many people have done this multiple times,” Manga says. “There are a lot of experienced female pilots in this race, some who have done this 10 or more times.” Robin Turner, a pilot from Pennsylvania, is one of those return racers. Turner’s father was an aviation enthusiast who brought his daughter to air shows, but it wasn’t until 2003 that she decided to take up flying. Turner was vacationing in the Virgin Islands and flew in a turboprop plane from San Juan, Puerto Rico to Saint Thomas. This was a small flight of eight passengers, the only crewmember being the pilot.

“They weighed us and weighed our bags. Based on weight, I was placed in the copilot’s seat,” “It was a really long day, probably the longest we Turner says. “I had a bird’s eye of everything had,” Manga says. “There was a stop in Texas, that was going on.” Arkansas, Missouri and we finished in Illinois.” For Manga, who has spent most of her time flying in Ohio, one of the most interesting parts of the race was watching the changing terrain as she travelled across the United States.

Seeing a pilot in action inspired Turner to become a pilot herself. She had a discovery flight lesson at Allegheny County Airport the following weekend, and she has been hooked on aviation ever since.

“We started in Arizona and the elevation was Turner flew the Air Race Classic in 2010 and 2011. around 5,000 feet. When we got to Daytona, She still remembers her first timing leg flyby. it was down to 13 feet,” she says. “I think I’ve flown over the Rocky Mountains in an airliner, “Our first leg, flying full throttle became THE BURR MAGAZINE

the FEATURES

“A lot of my first race was learning the ropes of how things work. Knowing what to expect this year will be a big help.” —Jalia Manga normal after about 15 minutes, but that first wants to experience the race, she says she will be back at the starting line with them. timing line flyby was the biggest adrenaline rush ever,” Turner says. “The blood was pound“I had a great sense of accomplishment learning to ing in my ears and all I could think was ‘hold fly and passing the checkride, but air racing built it, hold, then release!’” upon that accomplishment and totally empowAside from the in-flight experiences that accom- ered me to be more and do more,” Turner says. pany a race, memories are also made on the ground. During Turner’s first race, her team stopped in Cameron, Missouri. “As we landed and stopped to park, a lady ran over to the copilot side,” Turner says. “My partner popped the door, and the lady reached her head in with a tray of fresh-picked strawberries from her garden and a plastic champagne glass for each of us.” While waiting for the weather to clear up, the pilots shared airplane-shaped sandwiches and cookies as they sat in folding chairs in an airport hangar.

and there was a big storm that was heading across the Midwest and toward Iowa,” Gardinier says. The weather was predicted to be IFR, which stands for instrument flight rules. The Air Race Classic requires VFR or visual flight rules. Pilots aren’t permitted to fly through the clouds. A decision was made to cancel the start in Iowa City and move all racers to Alliance, Nebraska, to begin the race.

Minnetta Gardinier, who teaches at the University of Iowa, is another repeat racer. She has raced nine times and now serves on the Air Race Classic Board of Directors, where she helps to “I was really disappointed and I told my copilot, plan the race route. Gardinier began flying in ‘I would really like to fly that part of the race,’” 2003 at Iowa City Municipal Airport and flew Gardinier says. her first Air Race Classic in 2008. Even though this leg was no longer officially a Now an accomplished racer, Gardinier remem- part of the race, Gardinier and her teammate bers being a rookie. The day of her first race, Gar- were both instrument certified and decided to dinier couldn’t find the keys to her plane. She take off for Brookings, South Dakota. had a duplicate key made, but it wouldn’t work. She began hurriedly searching her flight bag for Approaching the airport in South Dakota, Garher original keys as the other planes were ready dinier’s team announced their intentions to land on the radio. to taxi out.

There were female pilots of all ages and walks of “I went to the cargo area and started tossing bags “A guy came on the radio and said, ‘We thought life, ranging from a 14-year-old girl racing with out,” Gardinier says. “My new racer friends are they cancelled the race!’ I said, ‘They did her aunt to 91-year-old aviation legend Ruby looking out of their plane windows wondering cancel it, but we’re just flying through anyway,’” Sheldon. Sheldon was recognized by the Smithwhy we’re not starting up and why I’m tossing Gardinier says. sonian Air & Space Museum for being the first bags out of the plane.” They were the only team to fly through the four woman to hold a Helicopter Instrument Instructor certificate. After ransacking the cargo compartment, Gar- cancelled stops, and they were recognized for it dinier found her key in the badge holder pouch at the end of the race. The top 10 air race fin“She sat and told us story after story,” Turner ishers receive cash prizes, and the finishers who around her neck. says. “Just seeing some of the young girls’ faces fly the fastest leg, or flight from one airport to light up as she told of climbing out her bedroom Gardinier has come a long way since her “rookie another, are eligible for “leg prizes.” window to go take lessons because her mother racer” days, but each race still presents different would have freaked out was priceless.” challenges and creates new memories. One race “There were no leg prizes for those first four stops, so they gave them all to us,” Gardinier says. “It’s that stands out to her is the 2011 race from Iowa Turner doesn’t have any immediate plans to fly in funny because I’ve never been in the top 10 finCity to Mobile, Alabama. the Air Race Classic again, but it has left an lasting ishers, so now when I’m at the race I say the only impact on her life. If one of her pilot friends ever “The race was supposed to start Tuesday morning, way I can win prizes is to fly IFR.” 52

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Several small aircraft line the runway at the Kent State University Airport, prepped and ready for take off.

For Gardinier, it seems the best race memories are the ones that are unplanned. “We got stuck in Elko, Nevada, for two nights because the weather between Elko and Pinedale, Wyoming, had snow and ice in the third week of June,” Gardinier says. They had to stay two nights in Elko, and there were 12 other planes that were also stuck there. “When you’re stuck, everybody kind of hangs out together. They’re watching the weather and they’re talking to each other,” Gardinier says. “You really do make a lot of friends.” Gardinier calls the Air Race Classic her “fly camp,” where she can connect with over 100 female pilots.

Gardinier and Manga will race again in the 2017 Air Race Classic. Manga will race alongside a new teammate, and Gardinier will grace the skies again with her 2015 teammate, Jeneanne Visser. Every race is different, but Manga feels ready to be back in the cockpit. “A lot of my first race was learning the ropes of how things work,” Manga says. “Knowing what to expect this year will be a big help.” Finishing one race is just the beginning. She envisions a future among the clouds. “I’d like to be able to do what I love and fly for the rest of my life,” Manga says. “My goal is to become an airline captain.” B

These women come from different states and have different levels of experience with air racing, but something keeps bringing them back. THE BURR MAGAZINE

the CURRENT

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Pink slipping, or emergency hospitalization, affects everyone in the process, from students to police officers. WORDS BY CAMERON GORMAN || ILLUSTRATION BY ALEXIS SCRANTON

can still remember what led up to the day I found myself in that tiny, gray room, peeling an orange and pouring sugar into a cup of coffee that smelled so sweet it made my stomach churn. There was a table. A chair. A mattress, leaning up against the locked window, cartoon-character sheets stretched tightly over its questionable surface. My hands were shaking— was it the caffeine? I never had coffee. Not until now. Or was it the the nerves, rattling me from the inside, grabbing hold of my collar and screaming that this was my fault, my situation?

I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave because I was pink slipped.

In short, if you are suicidal—if you’re going to hurt yourself or someone else—and you tell someone listed as having the authority to do so under the law, you can be subject to emergency hospitalization. In other words, being pink slipped.

FORESHOCK This doesn’t just happen overnight. Mental illness is like any other sickness of the body. Just like you realize you’re coming down with a bad cold when you’re standing at your kitchen sink feeling yourself get a little lightheaded—the progression from “a little blue” to suicidal thoughts is often slow and painful.

“I’ve had people tell me that it can be very trau- “When I was in middle school, it was just kind of matic,” says Bill Russell, chief officer of Portage ... always being unhappy, or I would be in happy County Clinical Services at Coleman. “People feel situations and having fun, and then all of a like they were ripped from their home against sudden I would get really upset, and I didn’t their will, and, you know, they don’t understand, want to be there anymore,” says Anna Peters, a ‘Why can’t I just go ahead and die, it’s my choice, Kent State student whose name has been it’s my life,’ and those are stories you hear from changed for confidentiality. “I wanted to be people who are very depressed.” alone. I wanted to be in bed.” In Ohio’s revised code—Section 5122.10, to be exact—there is a law that allows emergency hos- We are talking in a Dunkin’ Donuts lobby, pitalization. It states that “any psychiatrist, hidden away in a corner, the weak sunlight of licensed clinical psychologist, licensed physician, the winter day just reaching into our corner of health officer, parole officer, police officer, or sher- the restaurant. Her eyes dart around nervously, as if she is afraid someone might hear our coniff may take a person into custody” and transport versation, but the sound of coffee grinding them to a general hospital if they believe the person is a danger to themselves or others. drowns us out.

“I didn’t like change,” Peters, a junior majoring it clear, however, that an emergency admission is Ribnik says she tries to keep the individual being pink slipped in the loop as she works with emerthe very last option in these crisis situations.” in nursing, says. “Any time big changes would gency services. happen, I would just kind of lose it for no reason, Despite the initial anger Currie felt, years later especially—like, I have [obsessive-compulsive she realizes it was all those trips to the hospital “I realize that being faced with an emergency disorder] tendencies, so if … there were drastic admission can be very alarming for someone,” that kept her alive. changes, I would have panic attacks and things Ribnik says. “And so I think it is important for like that.” “It’s gonna be scary as hell when you go in there, the clinician to work with the individual to help but at the end of the day, those people care,” them understand why this may be happening— Aliyah Currie, a freshman majoring in child psyCurrie says.“If they didn’t, they would not be in and that, again, ultimately is going back to wantchology, fell into depression after being misdiagthat field. When I first went it was one of the ing to keep them safe and wanting to keep them nosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder loneliest times of my life. I felt like no one under- alive.” at a young age. Currie was taken away from her stood. But if you open up and tell them what’s mother and placed with a relative at 9 years old. going on, they can try their best to try and empa- Not long after, Peters was taken to Coleman’s This formed the basis for Currie’s depression. She intake center just a few miles from the Kent thize as much as they possibly can and use that suffered from night terrors and woke up screamcampus for evaluation. to help you, not hurt you.” ing every night. When I turn my recorder on, I try to talk in a hushed tone, remembering Peters’ scared and tired eyes, but Currie waves her hand at me. She doesn’t care if someone overhears, and she doesn’t mind if I use her real name. “When I was 9, it was hell. I’ve gotta admit that,” Currie says. I notice something written in marker on her arm: You are not alone. Currie’s uncle Jimmy committed suicide after struggling with borderline personality disorder and depression. At the young age of 13, Currie was involuntarily hospitalized for the first time after attempting suicide. She also continually self-harmed. She was frequently hospitalized for her depression and self-destructive behavior. Currie says she was hospitalized “so many times the hospitals got tired of seeing [her].” As a result, she was placed into residential care. “At the time it made me angry because I felt like everyone thought I was insane,” Currie says. “I felt like nobody was hearing why I ... did what I did, and I was angry that I woke up. Then, I just felt like I was getting shipped off to this place so no one had to deal with me.” For those who deal the slips, like clinical counselor Emily Ribnik of Kent State Stark, the decision is not so simple. “In most cases, I think it is because it is done for a reason. There will, of course, always be exceptions to that generalization. I think if an emergency admission is done and the person in crisis is alive and able to connect to treatment, then it has been of benefit to them,” Ribnik says. “I want to make 56

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I nod, and she tells me it’s been 248 days without self-harm.

SHAKEN

Russell goes on to say the individual is evaluated for a number of things, including the elaborateness of suicidal thinking, history of attempts, access to lethal means, history of violence or other signs that may indicate imminent action or intent for harming oneself or others.

Peters decided to visit a counselor in White Hall after realizing making trips home was too time consuming. She could simply stay on campus, “[When someone is suicidal], you don’t have time where the counseling program is free—and the to go down to the judge in two hours and get an counselors, unlike at DeWeese Health Center, are affidavit that says that you can take the person students just like the patients. Peters began to talk into custody—so these exceptions exist so that, about her suicidal thoughts with her counselor, in the moment, you can protect the person,” says who asked her if she had a plan. Peters replied Kent State police officer Jeff Futo. that if things got too bad, she knew how she His voice is strong and weathered as he talks would do it—she knew how to end her life. about his experience, years of this line of work After Peters mentioned her plan, her counselor weaving a practiced patience into his answers. asked her, “Do you want to go somewhere to talk Futo, who previously specialized in emergency some more?” hospitalization during his time on the force, says Peters remembers that day being particularly those taken into police custody do not have the bad, and she told her counselor that she did want right to resist the process. Once police are called, to talk, but, when a police officer walked in not they have the authority to use force if necessary. soon after, Peters became confused. She thought If you are pink slipped, you are going. End of story. she would go to another room to continue her conversation with the counselor. Peters became “If you’re not in this position, if you’re not in this job, you don’t really understand—you can’t really more confused as the police officer began to relate,” Futo says, the professionalism almost search her and her things. succeeding in masking the emotion in his tone. Peters tells me she feels violated by this process — “For some people, that’d be heartbreaking to go something that counselors like Ribnik understand. talk with people all the time that are in distress or in a crisis or they’re suicidal—all those things. “I realize this absolutely happens, and that sadBut when that’s your job on a daily basis, you dens me because the intention behind an emerdeal with those things.” gency admission is not to upset the person or cause them to feel this way,” Ribnik says. “I think When Peters arrives at the Coleman center, she’s sometimes this can come down to how the emer- put in a room that is bare except for a couple of gency admission option or decision is discussed chairs and a desk. She checks her phone. Eleven with the individual.” percent. She fills out a form and sits in the

silence. No one comes to speak with her. Three or four hours pass like this in what is, Russell explains to me, the holding room for evaluations.

gaze in the corners of my peripheral vision, trying to warm me to the idea of what we both knew was not a choice.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Peters recalls. “I asked if I could leave, they said that I was pink slipped in here, that I wasn’t allowed to leave. No one will talk to me. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for right now.”

I did my best to make my disconnection clear as I watched snowbanks roll by the windows. I would not give in. Looking back, I realize that she wasn’t happy to do this to me. She was doing what she had to. She was doing her job, just like every other person involved in the revolving door of this process.

Russell explains that sometimes beds aren’t available when new patients are emitted, causing them to wait as Peters did, and I did. Russell says the patient is placed in a room alone, away from an audience. Peters was allowed to leave after this, determined to be stable enough to be put into the care of her roommate. The woman at Coleman services tells her roommate to “keep an eye on her.” Peters and her roommate did not know one another well, and Peters didn’t like the idea of her mental illness being “aired out to her.”

AFTERSHOCK Depression and anxiety like mine, Peters’ and Currie’s can become an overhanging cloud, gray and heavy with rain, threatening to open up and pour down on you at any second. Things that used to hold flavor become bland. Laughter grates at your patience. I remember days like that too, in high school, crying in the empty art room after hours. In college, hiding in my residence hall, curled under my comforter when I couldn’t face the world. Depression, it’s true, isn’t a sharp, stabbing pain in your side. It’s a drawn out slow-bleed, gushing more and worse every day until you wake up, pale and drained. When I climbed into the police car, I was supposed to sit in the back, but she let me sit up front because I was crying. The trees and snowy streets passed us, flying by on either side of the car like a white and gray ribbon. I tried desperately not to look at her. This wasn’t fair, I thought, my mind thrashing back and forth. This was her fault, I told myself. While we rode to the evaluation at Coleman, she told me about her son and her life before she’d become an officer. She told me how she never thought she’d make it as far as she had. She glanced at me often as she drove, catching my

When we arrive at the Coleman center, the sky a great gray bowl above us, my officer writes her name and number on the back of a business card and pats me on the shoulder. I have to go in, she tells me. There wasn’t a choice. I feel like I am caught in a gulf stream or a current, being pulled and pulled along, my lungs filling with water, unable to pull my head above the surface. When I was waiting for evaluation, staring at the blank, beige walls and the stains on the carpet, I closed my eyes. I tried to forget where I was, tried to forget the people sitting at their desks outside the tiny window built into the door, jabbering on phones and spinning in office chairs. I waited for hours, though how many, I didn’t know. My phone, dying just like Peters’, was blurry from behind the tears caught in my eyelashes. My backpack was useless, full of books and pencils. It had to be a mistake. Finally, someone came in to talk to me. She had blank, tired eyes and a clipboard, and she asked me questions from a paper that she scribbled my answers onto almost as soon as they fell from my mouth. This was the evaluation to decide whether I should be taken to the hospital. Another stop on this long, drawn-out trip. The light outside the window had faded into the orange-creamsicle glow of evening. I remember how angry I was. I remember feeling bitter, scoffing at the emptiness of the holding room. Where was my autonomy? Where was my right to waive treatment, especially when treatment meant the cold inside of the police car, the gray ceilings and floors of Coleman and the blinding anxiety of the ambulance ride I took when, unlike Peters, I was not allowed to leave? I knew myself best, didn’t I? I wasn’t hospitalized. After my blood was drawn and my shoes were put into a bin, I talked to the

doctors. They let me go. The pink slip relinquished its chokehold on me, I called my friends and I cried to them. About the uncertainty. About the injustice. But, now, the always-effective narcotic of time blurring the pain, I can see the multifaceted face of what happened. And sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I am dreaming about the gray room and the locked windows, I am uncertain that I was right—that it was barbaric, wrong and unnecessary. So yes, I am uncertain now—now that the anger and the vitriol have faded from my blood. I am uncertain because I was pink slipped. I am still here to write this story, and I am not always sure anymore, but maybe that is the reason why. B

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an american

utopia A young Ukrainian immigrant tells the story of his journey to America and the uncertain future ahead. WORDS BY SAMANTHA ICKES || PHOTOS BY ANDREA NOALL Editor’s note: the student’s name has been changed for confidentiality.

t is dark and quiet as Adriny Hordiyenko, an undocumented immigrant, walks across the parking lot to his car. His phone buzzes with a notification, and he glances at the bright screen. “AP ELECTION ALERT” appears in caps at the top of his screen. Hordiyenko opens the alert to read the Associated Press’ story about Republican candidate Donald Trump winning the election over the Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton.

Pfahl, an associate counsel at the office of General Counsel who focuses on immigration laws. “People have certainly a right to be concerned, but at the same time this is an argument that has In an interview with ABC News, Trump prom- been going on for years. Immigration literally is ises to address the “DREAMers,” a term given something we’ve gone through years of promised to DACA recipients after the original bill pro- reform only to see no reform.” posed titled the DREAM Act, which stands for Development, Relief and Education for Alien In reaction to Trump’s statements, some Ohio Minors. Though the DREAM Act and DACA schools gathered together to vow to protect have some differences, their end goals are the students in the DACA program—these schools Nov. 8, 2016 marks a day of uncertainty for same: to give undocumented individuals are nicknamed “sanctuary campuses” after Hordiyenko. With Trump’s intense focus on brought to the U.S. as minors a right to educa- “sanctuary cities,” a municipality that has reforming immigration laws, he feels unsure tion and work. The term DREAMers stuck, adopted a policy of protecting undocumented about what will happen to him in the coming even though the DREAM Act failed to pass in immigrants. More than 500 college and uniyear. Hordiyenko, a senior journalism student versity presidents nationwide signed a statethe House of Representatives. at Kent State, is currently protected under the ment calling for the continuation and expansion Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, “They are here illegally,” Trump says in the Jan. of the DACA program including 10 Ohio known as DACA. Started by President Barack 25 interview with “World News Tonight” anchor schools. Some of these schools include Denison Obama’s administration in June 2012, DACA is David Muir. “They shouldn’t be very worried. I University, Kenyon College, Ohio State Univeran immigration policy that protects eligible sity and Ohio University. do have a big heart. We’re going to take care of undocumented immigrants. In order to be pro- everybody ... Where you have great people that tected by DACA, an individual must have immi- are here that have done a good job, they should Pfahl says until any action is taken, universities be far less worried.” cannot react, but can only be proactive. Many grated to the United States prior to their 16th universities, Kent State included, have reached birthday before June 2007 and currently be According to the Center for American Progress, out to ask for support from government officials. enrolled in school or a high school graduate. 665,000 individuals were enrolled in the DACA program as of July 2015—just three years after “Students have a very real fear because of the Since 2013, Hordiyenko has reapplied three the program’s approval. A survey conducted by uncertainty associated with being in the country times for DACA status, which only lasts two the National Immigration Law Center finds that as permitted by the government essentially, and years. His second term ends in March, but that very real fear of having to uproot their life Hordiyenko began his reapplication processes 96 percent of DACA recipients are either in school or employed. should that process change,” Pfahl says. in December. In early February, he received a letter confirming he was accepted for another On Dec. 5, Ohio University President Roderick J. two years. Though he is protected for another “There’s a lot of talk, but we’ve also seen that a lot McDavis expressed his support of these students of talk hasn’t lead to a lot of action,” says Michael two years, Hordiyenko still worries about the

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changes Trump may make to the program because an executive order repealing it could end his protected status.

through a letter addressed to Ohio Sen. Rob Port- “We value all students, including our DACA stuman. He conveys the concerns of the DACA students,” Warren says in a meeting with Kent State’s student media. “These students are great, dents who fear deportation. In the letter, McDavis great contributors here in the United States. The asks Portman to remember these concerns when fact that we value their opportunity to value an he votes on future DACA legislation. education leads to many of those students remaining and being productive citizens in the “These sons and daughters of undocumented United States. I don’t think we’re standing back, immigrants have not broken any laws,” McDavis but we’re also being very deliberate about the writes. “They are not just numbers, they are protection that all students deserve.” people, and each of them is a valued member of our Bobcat Family.” Hordiyenko does not wish to stand back in the shadows during these uncertain times. He Kent State also stands with its DACA students. continually expresses his desire to live in the President Beverly Warren says the university does United States as a Ukrainian immigrant and not track the number of DACA students enrolled his desire to pursue the better life his parents at the university. However, she specifies the uni- wished for him. versity will support these students. On Dec. 26, Warren, along with a number of other college and On Sept. 22, Hordiyenko stood up and declared university presidents, signed a letter urging Port- his undocumented status in front of his peers man to support the BRIDGE Act. The Bar during the Poynter KSU Media Ethics Workshop. The room fell silent as the participants Removal of Individuals who Dream of Growing listen to him speak: our Economy Act—which was proposed Dec. 12 by senators Lindsey Graham, of South Carolina, “I would like to thank you for what you did,” and Dick Durbin, of Illinois—aims to allow Hordiyenko says to keynote speaker Jose Antopeople who are eligible for work authorization or nio Vargas, an undocumented journalist and temporary relief of deportation through DACA immigrant rights activist. “I would like to take to continue living in the U.S. The status would this opportunity to come out myself. I am an undocumented immigrant.” last for three years after the law is passed.

BACK TO HIS ROOTS To 13-year-old Hordiyenko, America was made of gold. He believed America to be a perfect utopia unaffected by a harsh economy and the reign of the Soviet Union—a safe haven where life was as extravagant and easy as it looked in the movies. If he and his family could make it to America, they would be set. It was a place where all of their problems would evaporate once they crossed the Atlantic Ocean to American soil. At least that was his perception of the United States as a teenager living in a small Ukrainian town in 1998. Hordiyenko was far more concerned with playing soccer in the street with his friends after school than worrying about the economic climate of his country. As a recently sovereign country, Ukraine struggled to overcome hyperinflation and establish a stable economy after the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. As a result, many individuals were left without work. Hordiyenko’s father remained unemployed and struggled to find work, and his mother’s job at the small grocery store in town brought in far less money than needed to support the family.

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“I started reading and hearing certain politicians speaking out about immigrants or undocumented immigrants as if we were less than human beings—as if we were something else—calling us illegals or calling us aliens. Calling a human being illegal,” Hordiyenko pauses and looked down at the ground, “That should never happen. No human being is illegal.” —Adriny Hordiyenko Employment opportunities continued to diminish. As many of their friends and neighbors left Ukraine in hopes of finding more luck elsewhere, Hordiyenko’s parents felt there was only one option left: America. “As cliche as it sounds, we came to pursue the American Dream,” Hordiyenko says. “America is the land of opportunity. I believe for people from developing countries, coming to the United States seems like a beacon of hope. Opportunities, a chance of survival [and] a better life— that’s what awaits you in the United States.” When Hordiyenko’s parents told him they would be moving to America, he says it felt like “hitting the lottery.” When he told his friends he was going to America, Hordiyenko says he was viewed as the “cool kid in school.” Hordiyenko and his family traveled to America under tourist visas with the intent to stay and make a life in the land of freedom. His parents attempted to renew their tourist visa a second time but were denied. Though under the U.S. immigration law Hordiyenko and his family should have left and returned to Ukraine, they knew there was no place for them back in their homeland. For the first time in years, their family was financially stable. Hordiyenko was already enrolled in an American middle school and a new life as an immigrant family living in America was underway.

for their family. Hordiyenko says at the time, they had no idea what they were getting themselves into—they had no idea they would be spending the next 18 years in the shadows.

Hordiyenko says. “I assume that’s how many undocumented immigrants survived. They work jobs that most Americans will not even think about doing.”

At first, Hordiyenko did not want to stay in America. When they arrived, they settled in Florida, but made their way to Northeast Ohio to be near a Ukrainian community. Making friends was difficult because Hordiyenko didn’t speak much English, and what little he did know is difficult to understand beneath his thick accent. Despite the culture shock Hordiyenko endured during his first few months in the United States, as an adult, he now knows the decision was made for the better.

A TASTE OF CITIZENSHIP

“My parents made the decision: We were going to stay,” Hordiyenko says, remembering how they wanted him to have access to an American education. “We just decided to overstay our visas. That’s kind of how we became undocumented.”

In 2003, Hordiyenko graduated from high school. He watched as, one by one, his friends left for college to pursue their careers and dreams. Hordiyenko continued to work for temp agencies and do odd jobs for extra cash as a method of employment. He jumped to different jobs every few months—mainly working in the kitchens of various restaurants and cleaning hotel rooms. Because he was undocumented, he had no social security number, birth certificate or driver’s license. College was not an option for him. Getting a decent job was not an option for him. He felt stuck. For years before the DACA program, Hordiyenko worked for low wages. He didn’t question his employer or if what he is doing was within the boundaries of the law. He did what he needed to do to put food on the table.

Hordiyenko’s parents are able to support the family by working under-the-table jobs that many Americans would never consider doing. His father is placed in jobs by temporary employment agencies for less than minimum wage and “Here I am wanting to do these things, and I with no benefits, but he does what he needs to can’t,” Hordiyenko says with a sigh. Questions make a better life for his family. He worked for run through his mind. Why am I being treated a cleaning service, switching to different hotels this way? Why am I different? What makes me and businesses. At times, he worked long and worse than everybody else? crazy hours and had to drive more than an hour for work. Some weeks the paycheck was less than As an undocumented immigrant living in AmerHordiyenko’s parents decided to stay in America he expected, but as an undocumented worker he ica, Hordiyenko began to follow immigration policy that may affect him. He read about the with the hopes that in three or four years they couldn’t complain. would have the opportunity to apply for citizenpoliticians who spoke about these matters. ship. They didn’t know the legislation regarding “There are opportunities everywhere—whether immigration, but were hopeful new legislation that means an opportunity to improve your life “I started reading and hearing certain politicians would be enacted to pave a path to citizenship or just opportunities to find jobs under the table,” speaking out about immigrants or undocumentTHE BURR MAGAZINE

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edmented immigrants as if we were less than human beings—as if we were something else— calling us illegals or calling us aliens. Calling a human being illegal,” Hordiyenko pauses and looked down at the ground, “that should never happen. No human being is illegal.” Hordiyenko began to question his self-worth. The word “illegal” bounced around in his head. Listening to these politicians made him feel as if his life amounted to nothing because he was not legally living in the United States. He felt as if people viewed undocumented families as “less than dirt.” Hordiyenko found himself sinking into depression: Am I worth less than my friends because I am not a natural-born American? Is my life worth less than theirs? But Hordiyenko’s life changed June 15, 2012, when the Secretary of Homeland Security announced DACA. Under the DACA program, Hordiyenko received a social security number, a driver’s license, the chance to get a better job and the right to higher education.

face and questions run through his mind. He worries Obama’s executive order will be repealed by Trump, leaving him in “no man’s land.” Trump’s anti-immigration rhetoric stirs up the old question that haunted him prior to the DACA program: Why does being undocumented make me less of a person? Though Hordiyenko acknowledges that most of Trump’s statements are directed at Mexicans, he feels offended by Trump’s negative focus on “illegal” or undocumented immigrants.

“In my mind, that’s what DACA is,” Hordiyenko says. “It gives me a taste of what it’s like to be an American citizen, or an equal member of society, which I didn’t feel like I was for more than a decade.”

THE UNCLEAR FUTURE When Hordiyenko realizes Trump has a serious chance of winning the election, old fears resur62

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Despite these uncertainties, Hordiyenko refuses to focus on the negative. The world is still open to him because, at 32-years-old, Hordiyenko has a long life still ahead of him to reap the benefits of a higher education in the U.S. One day he made the decision to stop giving into fear and live in the moment.

Hordiyenko worries the most about the safety of his parents. While they are not a top priority for “I used to be afraid,” he says. “Whatever happens, happens. Worrying about it is not going to do deportation, he says they are in a much worse anything. I look to the positives of my experience situation because they came to the U.S. as adults here. I got to learn the language. I got to experiand are not protected under the DACA program. ence a different culture. No matter where I am, A month into his presidency, Trump had not ter- whether it’s the United States or back home or another part of the world, I’ll always be able to minated the DACA program despite his promise look at things from two different perspectives.” to deal with it within the first four weeks. He

addresses it during a speech Feb. 18, and it seems as though Trump’s views of the program have shifted as he says DACA is a “very, very difficult subject for me.” He refers to the DREAMers as Hordiyenko quickly worked to get his driver’s “some absolutely incredible kids,” and a new license because he finally had two forms of iden- beacon of hope emerges for Hordiyenko. tification to present to the BMV. The day he received his license was one of the happiest days “There’s been positive rhetoric recently from him of his life. He eagerly sent snapchats and texts regarding it,” Hordiyenko says. “However, he has of his license to his friends, showing that finally, said in the past that he will end it, so no one at 28, he could legally drive. knows where he really stands.” Though DACA did not grant citizenship to the individuals enrolled in the program, it did give them a sense of what it was like to live an American life. Hordiyenko compared it to a bakery that has bits of pastries on a plate with wooden toothpicks in them to give people a taste of what the full item is like.

strengthening immigration enforcement and are looking for alternative solutions to shield the president from any blowback that may occur if DACA is repealed.

Though Hordiyenko’s status is uncertain until Trump makes a decision on whether or not to continue the DACA program, Hordiyenko says he will always value the education he received in the United States. Obama’s belief in what undocumented immigrants can do sparked hope in Hordiyenko, and in these uncertain times, he clings to this hope. He remembers the reason he originally came to America: opportunity.

An executive order to end the DACA program “It’s something I’ll forever be grateful for to Preswas drafted in late January, according to the Los ident Barack Obama,” Hordiyenko says. “WhenAngeles Times. However, Trump now shows an ever he mentioned that he wanted to do unwillingness to sign the document, which the something for individuals like myself, it was kind LA Times suspects is because of the public backof [encouraging]. It was like a beacon of hope— ing of the DACA recipients. This backing was like the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s a displayed when a 23-year-old DACA recipient possibility—you start believing in good. You from Washington state was detained, and U.S. start believing in yourself again.” B Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents threatened to deport the DREAMer, causing a public outcry. Trump’s position on DACA is critical because of the two groups he has to appease—those who supported his key campaign stance on strong immigration laws and the 750,000 individuals who are protected by DACA. However, Trump’s senior advisers are holding steady on the goal of

the EQUALIZER

love not

HATE Uhuru editor-in-chief explores the Black Lives Matter movement WORDS BY SIERRA ALLEN

ince childhood, a staple lesson learned is to trust the police as they are obliged to protect and serve the community. We learn to call the police during frightful situations, but most importantly, to lean on them as they shield us from danger. However, for many black individuals, those feelings that once created a blanket of security soon disappear as we learn to face the real world.

For me, that security blanket vanished after Trayvon Martin, an unarmed, 17-year-old black boy, was shot and killed while shortcutting through a gated community on his way home. Like many before him, his death was accompanied with injustice as his killer, George Zimmerman, was acquitted at trial. Although many of these situations happened prior to Martin, this particular incident initiated the Black Lives Matter movement that stands today. I do not write this to inflict anger, but to impose understanding instead, of the importance of the Black Lives Matter movement. As an 18-year-old black girl fresh out of a diverse high school, I tuned to the State of Florida v. George Zimmerman trial as if Trayvon Martin were my own little brother. He began to feel like a part of me, because in a way, he was. We shared the same skin color and cultural background, but the biggest factor was mentally seeing my biological brother within him. Just like Martin, my brother is a tall, young, black boy who poses as a 64

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threat to certain people. I heard the imploring cry of someone who looked like my brother and could’ve been my brother on the 911 call. I felt the guilt of his mother not being able to protect her son, but from an older sibling’s perspective instead. As the oldest daughter of a Navy SEAL, I was always taught to defend my siblings, and the thought of my brother’s lifeless body flashing across the news screens like Martin’s gave me goosebumps. This was such a huge weight on my heart, and no matter how much I tried to shake the connection off, it just wouldn’t fade. With the facts and scenario explained, along with the audio of the 911 call, I just knew that Zimmerman would be indicted. When I expressed my confidence to an older coworker who was also black, he laughed an exhausted laugh and replied, “Don’t get your hopes up young lady. That man will go free.” Confused and caught off guard, I thought to myself, “Where is your hope?” But shortly after hearing the verdict of “not guilty,” my heart sank as I rose out of my seat, dumbfounded, speechless and now, just like my coworker, hopeless. Just like that, I woke up and realized that the world I once knew was no longer the same, and the certainty I had for the judicial system disappeared. I wiped a tear from my face and gathered myself, not knowing that this single tear would be the first of many more and I’d soon laugh the same exhausted laugh to keep from crying.

“This was such a huge weight on my heart and no matter how much I tried to shake the connection off, it just wouldn’t fade.” —Sierra Allen Soon after the trial, Black Lives Matter was created as “a call to action and a response to the virulent anti-Black racism that permeates our society,” according to the founders, Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi and Alicia Garza. The victimized grew tired of being victims and the evolution of this movement is a direct reflection of that growth. Black Lives Matter aims for a world where black lives are no longer systematically and intentionally targeted for demise, but acknowledged and treated equally. It aims to rebuild and rebirth the black communities from within, while also challenging the system. According to a study conducted by The Guardian, “Despite making up only 2 percent of the total US population [in 2015], African-American males between the ages of 15 and 35 comprised more than 15 percent of all deaths logged this year by an ongoing investigation into the use of deadly force by police. Their rate of police-involved deaths was five times higher than for white men of the same age.” The same study also shows that out of 1,134 deaths at the hands of law enforcement, young black men were nine times more likely than other Americans to be killed by the police. Declared by the Black Lives Matter official website page, “When we say Black Lives Matter, we are broadening the conversation around state violence to include all of the ways in which black people are intentionally left powerless at the hands of the state. We are talking about the ways in which black lives are deprived of our basic human rights and dignity.” Even though Black Lives Matter is a rallying cry for liberation, there has been a lot of backlash from non-supporters. Rooted in apparent racism, the Ku Klux Klan is described as a “white Patriotic Christian organization,” but the Black Lives Matter movement is mislabeled as a hate

group. Although there is no correlation of the two organizations, it’s important to compare the systematic unfairness of their descriptions, which also misleads the perception of the public. This perception is then translated into the “angry black people” stereotype, when in actuality, Black Lives Matter is a reaction to the lack of basic human rights the black community has. As stated above, it’s important to compare the systematic unfairness of both the Ku Klux Klan and Black Lives Matter. It’s also important to compare the unfairness between black and white individuals by law enforcement as well. In 2015, Dylann Roof, the mass murderer involved in the Charleston, South Carolina, church shooting, killed nine innocent black parishioners as they stood and prayed near the end of Bible study. As police arrived, Roof was calmly arrested and taken to Burger King before his arrival at the police station, two luxuries a black man wouldn’t be awarded. As a black man, this wouldn’t even be an option, considering he’d have to be alive to even have that option.

police officer himself, but privilege is still expressed through his arrest. And even though his goal was to “start a race war,” as stated in his confession according to the New York Daily News, he was only painted as a troubled kid, which is another prime example of privilege a black man wouldn’t be able to hold. Black Lives Matter is more than the focal point of the validity of black life within the system, but it’s about the validity of black life and equal privilege as a whole. It all coincides. Black Lives Matter is a reminder and protest that people of color deserve and demand equal protection, human rights and life, just like everyone else. In fact, “just because the movement aims to end police violence against black lives does not mean it encourages violence against police by black people. Black Lives Matter has never, ever insinuated that other lives don’t,” Lilly Workneh, The Huffington Posts’ Black Voices senior editor, says. So when people type or chant Black Lives Matter, it is not a slogan that is meant to take away from the importance of other lives, but it is a reminder and declaration of the importance of ours just as well.

In 2016, Philando Castile was shot to death seven times in front of his girlfriend and fourPick up Uruhu’s latest edition to read the Burr’s year-old daughter after reaching for his ID. Not editor-in-chief, Samantha Ickes’s piece titled only was he reaching for his ID, he was also “Rooted In Empathy.” B reaching for his gun permit and explaining that he was armed, which is a tactic the black community learns early in life. Castile took all of the precautions of warning the police officer of his licensed weapon because he knew he’d become a threat but was still shot to death. The fact that he knew he had to quickly explain himself is the fear the black community feels when questioned by the police, even if there’s no wrongdoing. Although Roof was sentenced to death and Castile’s murderer was charged with three felonies, this is just one of many examples of systematic racism in law enforcement. No, Roof was not a THE BURR MAGAZINE

the

LAST SHOT WORDS AND PHOTOS BY ESLAH ATTAR

n Saturdays at the Salaam Cleveland office, teachers and students finish their day by performing Asr, the second prayer of the day. Much like the other four prayers, Asr requires reciting verses from the Quran and bowing to where the head, nose and hands all touch the floor. Baisan notices I finish praying before the others. She leans over to me and says, “You know, you shouldn’t rush your prayers. They’re too important. Look at Sheffa and Adnan and how they’re taking their time.” She points to the others still praying. Baisan is typically shy, but she has warmed up to me over the past several months I have spent with her family. I have been following her family for a personal project I am working on to add to my

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portfolio of documentary work. It is also a way for me to get back to my Syrian roots. Five-year-old Baisan is the middle child of the Alrefae family. In July 2016, the family left everything they owned in Syria to embark on a long journey to find refuge in America. Since the move, Baisan and her brother have enrolled in Thomas Jefferson Newcomers Academy and are now learning English among other students transitioning to American culture. Baisan’s teachers told her mother, Mariam, that Baisan is an eager student—always the first to raise her hand in class and excited to learn everyday. Although the family is shifting toward

the American culture and lifestyle, they still carry with them the most important aspects of their lives from Syria. They continue to practice Islam, and Mariam continues to teach Arabic to Baisan and her brothers so they don’t forget their roots. Every day, when the kids return from English school, they race to the bathroom to wash up for the prayer they missed during their school day. This mandatory purification ritual, known as Wudu, needs to be performed before prayer. When Baisan finishes cleansing, she usually picks the space between her siblings’ beds in her room that is just big enough for her to pray in.