Lent 2015 Issue 2

22 January 2015 Vol. 17 Lent Issue 2

The

Cambridge Student

What do you do in your free time? These guys make fire dance (see pages 16-17 for more)

Photo: Ali M.S.K.

“Enough”: Fierce debate erupts over reading week

C

Jenny Steinitz and Anna Carruthers News Editors

USU have this week voted to back the new campaign for a reading week.

At the first CUSU Council meeting of Lent term, those present voted to support the campaign for nine-week terms, and publicise the ‘No More Week 5 Blues’ campaign.

The campaign, started last week by members of Cambridge Defend Education (CDE), argues that a reading week should be added to the existing term. The suggested break would take place just after week four.

Reading week is an established tradition at many other universities, and currently there is also a parallel campaign being undertaken by the Oxford University Student Union (OUSU). CUSU Council predicts

that it will be well-received among Cambridge students too, especially in light of The Cambridge Student’s breaking of the results of the National Student Survey’s findings last week.

The NSS revealed that 62% of Cambridge students who responded felt under “unnecessary pressure”, and that just 55% of students considered their workload to be manageable, compared to 78% nationally.

CUSU President Helen Hoogewerf McComb argued to the Council that “this institution should not [merely] be rewarding the ability to work without sleep”, and that a reading week would encourage the focus to be more on quality of work.

The Cambridge Defend Education

group welcomed CUSU support, commenting on their Facebook page: “Even [CUSU have] realized that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”.

However, some members of the CUSU Council argued that further research needed to be done before undertaking a campaign for such comprehensive change.

Churchill JCR President Freddie Downing commented: “There are real problems related to mental health in Cambridge and, thankfully, we’re more aware about this issue than ever before. As an institution Cambridge University does not do as much as it could to ensure the welfare of those who are particularly vulnerable.”

Continued on page 4...

Comment – Should we lie to Cambridge’s hopefuls?: p14 Interviews – Directing the most famous choir in the world: p15 Features – How to succeed at formal without really trying: p16 Cartoon – Café for Cambridge student papers: p20 Theatre – “It’s not about the penis”: Beyond nudity in ‘Equus’: p23

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

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News 2 Hitchens refuses to debate alongside “unbearable” Fry Tonicha Upham Deputy News Editor Last week, Mail on Sunday columnist Peter Hitchens announced his decision to pull out of a planned Union debate due to the presence of writer, actor and comedian Stephen Fry. The debate, entitled ‘This House would Disestablish the Church of England’, is due to take place on 29 January and would have seen Hitchens and Fry oppose the motion together.

However, in a blog post for the MailOnline website last Friday, Hitchens announced: “I have just withdrawn from a Cambridge Union debate, rather than speak on the same side as Stephen Fry.” Hitchens went on to explain his decision: “I simply cannot bring myself to accept that Mr Fry, an active and assertive atheist, is seriously in favour of Establishment.” He also admitted to a personal dislike of his planned debating partner: “I confess it, I do not much like Mr Fry… I disagree with almost every opinion he has ever uttered.”

The columnist’s acceptance of the original invitation to the debate was based, he asserts, on the assumption that Fry would be on the opposite side

of the debate. It was made clear in his blog post that the Union officer who confirmed Hitchens’ attendance at the debate had also believed that Fry would be debating in opposition to Hitchens.

It wasn’t until the release of the Union termcard at the beginning of Lent term that Hitchens was made aware of the fact that he would actually be debating alongside Fry. “I had very much hoped to be able to argue against Mr Fry on a substantial issue in front of an audience. I thought this might be the best possible answer to the various personal insults he has directed at me.” This statement followed a series of links to previous blog posts written by Hitchens, detailing his views on Fry and referencing previous occasions during which Stephen Fry had called Peter Hitchens a “slug” and a “clod”.

The Cambridge Union Society has confirmed the news to The Cambridge Student. Union Press Officer Max Twivy commented: “Peter Hitchens has pulled out of our week three debate due to his personal feelings on speaking alongside one of the other speakers involved.”

However, the Union also offered assurances that “the debate had an extra

“I disagree with almost every opinion he has ever uttered”

I wonder what colour jacket he’ll plumb for speaker on opposition, and thus Mr. Hitchens pulling out will not affect the running of the debate in any way.”

Despite the decision, Hitchens has also reiterated a deep desire to challenge

Photo: Marco Raaphorst

Fry: “I hope very much that there will be another opportunity for us to debate an important matter from opposite sides.”

Hitchens will debate at the Oxford Union this term on ‘no-platforming’.

Labour claim victory at Union debate while more than a third abstain Olly Hudson Deputy News Editor As the General Election draws closer, on Thursday members of the Cambridge Union Society voted to return a Labour government to power.

The first debate of Lent Term, with the motion “This house would welcome the return of a Labour government,” saw the ayes claim a clear margin of victory, gaining 42% of the vote, compared to 28% for the noes.

The result of the debate is likely to provide cause for concern for the incumbent Liberal Democrat MP for Cambridge, Julian Huppert, whose hopes of re-election depend upon his party’s ability to hold this marginal swing seat.

In response to the outcome, Publicity Officer of Cambridge Universities Labour Club, Rory Weal, stated: “This result shows that students in Cambridge recognise that the Labour Party is best placed to fundamentally change society, and lead the fight for equality.”

CULC also noted that the 5% swing to the proposition from the pre-debate poll would, if repeated at the constituency

level, be enough for the Labour Party to win Cambridge from the Liberal Democrats in May. Nonetheless, the result does not make entirely comforting news for Labour.

The 35% abstention rate suggests a sizeable proportion of the chamber had failed to be convinced by the arguments put forward by either the Labour proposition or the Conservativeled opposition.

Commenting on behalf of Cambridge University Liberal Democrats, Reece Edmends argued: “The debate showed that over half of Union members were unsure about a Labour majority government. Rather than trust Labour with total power, I’d urge them to reelect Cambridge’s radical liberal MP, Julian Huppert.”

The committee of Cambridge University Conservative Association issued this statement to The Cambridge Student: “This was a highly enjoyable debate and both the opposition and proposition speakers performed well.

But given Labour’s economic policy involves pointing at expensive things (other than tax bills) and promising to make them cheaper, it is unsurprising that the Union membership, being used

to its membership fees, would choose to support the motion.”

The debate featured London mayoral hopeful, David Lammy MP, speaking in proposition, in addition to Shadow Minister for Communities and Development, Hilary Benn, as well as Vice-Chair of Cambridge Universities Labour Club (CULC) and third-year MML student Holly Higgins.

The opposition was composed of a broad coalition, including Conservative

A sign of things to come?

Over half of Union members were unsure about a Labour majority government

MP Crispin Blunt, Editor-in-Chief of Cambridge’s branch of The Tab, Charlie Bell, in addition to Lembit Opik, exLiberal Democrat MP who lost his seat in the 2010 General Election.

As the election begins to gather momentum, Cambridge, as a marginal seat is likely to attract increased attention. The most recent Lord Ashcroft poll in Cambridge, carried out in September 2014, gave Labour a lead of just 1% over the Liberal Democrats.

Photo: Cmglee via Wikimedia Commons

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News 3 One million missing from electoral register Tonicha Upham Deputy News Editor Last week, Ed Miliband accused the Coalition of responsibility for the loss of nearly 1 million voters from the electoral register, with students forming a hard-hit demographic.

The Labour Party claims that since the introduction of a new voter registration system, designed to prevent electoral fraud, 950,845 voters have disappeared from the electoral roll. Nick Clegg, who holds ministerial responsibility for the reforms, has been described by Ed Miliband as delivering “the final insult” to young people. Analysis of this data, which has come from 373 local authorities across England and Wales, shows that the highest reductions in those registered to vote are found in university towns and cities, with areas such as Cardiff and Liverpool being particularly affected.

The reforms require individual voter registration, making the previous block-registration of students in university accommodation and halls of residence impossible. However, the Liberal Democrats have responded to Labour’s accusations with claims of “scaremongering” and point scoring.

The cities most affected are those targeted by Labour in the hope of

Looking for your supporters, Ed? winning the student vote this May. “There are no prizes for guessing why the Tories and Lib Dems have made it difficult for students to register to vote, Cambridge Universities Labour Club’s Publicity Officer Rory

Photo: Riots Panel via Flickr Weal has said in response to the figures released last week. “Cambridge is an incredibly close seat where every vote counts – that’s why starting this week CULC will be on lecture sites handing out leaflets with information about

how to register.”

Within the wider student population there have been mixed reactions to this alleged denial of the right to vote.

First-year student Basha Wells Dion suggested that “This is a real problem for representation. 1 million missing votes could make a drastic change to the outcome of the election.” Others confirmed Ed Miliband’s claims regarding the impact of the changes on students and new voters. One student said: “I just didn’t realise we had to register; if I hadn’t heard my friends talking about it I might not have had access to my vote.”

However, some students feel that apathy is more to blame for the current underrepresentation of students than electoral reform. Claudia Cornilessen reflected on this: “Being from a country where voting is compulsory, I’m surprised at the number of people, especially students who aren’t planning to vote.”

According to the 2014 Which?

University Student Survey, the University of Cambridge is one of the most political universities in Britain.

However, CUSU’s ‘Campaigning Cambridge’ event last week failed to attract high numbers of students, and Ed Miliband’s claims add further weight to a growing picture of political apathy amongst students nationwide.

“Cambridge is an incredibly close seat where every vote counts”

HSPS course may threaten Archaeology Olly Hudson and Jenny Steinitz Deputy News Editor and News Editor The Human, Social and Political Sciences (HSPS) tripos, started in 2013, is reportedly already experiencing some difficulties.

Unofficial reports by Directors of Studies and students suggest that the Archaeology modules have seen a huge drop in student uptake since the merging of the Politics, Psychology and Sociology degree with the Archaeology and Anthropology degree.

It has been suggested to the The Cambridge Student that this reduction in incoming students can be attributed to two factors.

Firstly, the merging of the two departments has seen far fewer students applying for the Archaeology and Anthropology streams. One Director of Studies noted to us that while she regularly used to have a field of strong candidates with Archaeology, Biological Anthropology and Social Anthropology as their first choice, there has been a reduction in applicants listing these subjects as their first choice since

the introduction of the HSPS course.

She commented: “while HSPS has not been a disaster for [our College], but the route to attracting the right students has changed dramatically.”

Secondly, one student suggested to us that some Directors of Studies have been discouraging students from taking the Archaeology modules during the first year if they have expressed an interest in later taking the Politics or Sociology streams. He commented: “My Director of Studies explicitly said that those of us wanting to do Politics should only be taking it with International Relations, Sociology and Social Anthropology, not anything else. When you’re still in your first week of Cambridge, you are pretty susceptible to taking advice like that.”

There are fears that the drop in numbers of students specialising or even taking just one paper in Archaeology may have an impact on the department as a whole. One Director of Studies noted her concern for Archaeology, “which has been a world-class department (now division) for as long as I have been in Cambridge – over 44 years.”

The more specific Archaeology modules in particular are being undertaken by very few students.

Egyptology and Akkadian Languages, for instance, are especially small. It has been reported to The Cambridge Student that only two students studied the Egyptology module last year.

Biological Anthropolology has also seen a slide in student numbers. There have been reports among students suggesting that the subject has been derided by some Directors of Studies.

One student even recalled an incident during his interview in which a Director of Studies asked why he had read a book on Biological Anthropology, forgetting that Biological Anthropolgy was even on the course.

Another student noted that this derision may be due to “friendly competition” between the divisions within HSPS. The student wasn’t entirely negative about the HSPS course however. The second-year HSPS student went on to highlight the positive aspects of the course merge. He was especially enthusiastic about his ability to take course combinations that were previously impossible, such as mixing Biological Anthropology with Sociology. He even named this as his main reason for applying to Cambridge. Archeology may lay in ruins

Photo: Freya Sanders

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

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News 4 Continued from page 1

A frosty atmosphere in Cambridge

In spite of this, he added: “I can’t see how termly reading weeks is the solution. My experience is that most people do find a balance, although it can get hectic at times. A reading week is unnecessary in that respect.

Moreover, ‘Week Five blues’ does not legitimise depression or other mental health problems.

“We need to discriminate between the majority who are just a bit fatigued mid-term because of the tough work schedule and who just need a pick-meup and those whose problems are more serious and need real help.”

Mark Danciger, writing in The Tab, also expressed some concern about the #nomoreweek5blues campaign, calling it a “hashtag monster.” He accused the campaign of being reductive of mental health issues, and controversially commented that: “If [students] don’t think they can handle the workload, then don’t apply to Cambridge.”

Hesham Mashhour, writing for Varsity, objected to the proposals on the basis that international students could be hardest hit by an additional week in term, with few chances to return home for recovery purposes. He added that “there are serious financial Photo: Daisy Schofileld issues to consider here.”

Charlie Hebdo ‘survivor’s issue’ scarce in Cambridge

LGBT+ History Month kicks off at Cambridge

Maria Smickersgill News Writer

Shilpita Mathews Deputy News Editor

A Cambridge newsagent has decided not to stock the latest issue of Charlie Hebdo, the French satirical magazine.

King’s News on King’s Parade had originally ordered in copies of what has been dubbed the ‘survivor’s issue’ of Charlie Hebdo due to demand, but the shop’s owner, Jas Aujla, has since decided not to for reasons of “safety”.

Speaking to Cambridge News he said, “I am not stocking it, basically, for the safety of my shop. I’ve got girls who work here and I don’t want them getting hassle for one magazine.” This comes in light of an Oxford newsagent’s decision to pull the edition, following threats that promised to burn the shop down.

He added that he’d encountered opposition to his decision not to stock the magazine: “We have had lots of idiots coming in, people arguing with us saying ‘Why are you not stocking it?’”

The magazine’s cover has sparked controversy, with protests in Pakistan and Iran, for its depiction of the prophet Muhammad teary-eyed, holding a ‘Je suis Charlie’ sign below the legend ‘Tout est pardonné’ (all is forgiven).

“We have to be careful how we handle this.

We cannot sell it, it would not be right”

King’s News is not alone in their decision to not stock Charlie Hebdo, with many news retailers, including WHSmiths, refusing or unable to stock the magazine due to the limited number of copies being sold in the UK. Estimates predict that around 2,000 copies of the projected print run of 5 million, extended from 1 million originally and then to 3 million, have been sold in the UK. However, the Alliance Francaise on Hills Road has copies of the French satirical magazine for Cambridge residents to read.

Patricia Dalby, director of the Alliance Francaise de Cambridge, speaking to Cambridge News, explained that this issue should be dealt with sensitively;:“We have to be careful how we handle this. We cannot sell it, it would not be right.”

One undergraduate from Trinity Hall praised the Alliance Francaise saying that, “Although I understand that some people will be offended by the magazine’s content, I think this issue, published in the aftermath of the Paris shootings has become a historical document and it’s good that residents and students have access to it.”

This February, CUSU’s LGBT+ Campaign will be fully taking part in the LGBT+ History Month.

Highlights will include a discussion entitled “It’s Okay to be Gay, and Black, and a Mum!”, which will be led

by Phyll Opoku Gyimah. A wide range of organisations will be involved, such as St Columba’s United Reform Church, which will run an LGBT+ friendly service.

Initiated in 2004 by the organisation Schools Out UK, LGBT+ History Month is celebrated across the UK every February. The month has four main aims: increasing the visibility of LGBT+ people, advancing education on matters affecting the LGBT+ community, making institutions a safe space for LGBT+ communities, and ensuring that the education system recognizes LGBT+ people and helps them achieve their full potential.

Christopher Mergen, LGBT+ representative at Gonville and Caius College, is looking forward to the month, hoping that it “will stimulate interest in the broad gamut of the

history of sexuality. I am looking forward to February primarily because it offers a unique opportunity to examine a portion of history that has often been difficult to include in traditional curricula.”

Nevertheless, Katie Prescott, LGBT+ representative at Murray Edwards College, told The Cambridge Student:“I am slightly disappointed at the lack of events doing just that – it's awesome to see lots of film nights and social events, but a few more debates wouldn't go amiss.”

The organising committee, led by CUSU’s LGBT+ Finance Officer Jack Renshaw, was unavailable to comment.

With first details of LGBT+ History Month going up online this week, the Cambridge LGBT+ community can look forward to engaging and thoughtprovoking events throughout the month of February.

Labour Party Councillor for the Market ward, Dan Ratcliffe, who sits on the city council Equalities panel stated: “We will continue to support the LGBT+ history month, including flying the LGBT flag over the Guildhall and supporting a much broader range of events.”

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News 5

Whittle Building in all its beige glory

Whose University? lambast new Peterhouse accomodation Stevie Collister-Hertz News Reporter

Peterhouse College has now opened its new accommodation building, the Whittle Building, following a term delay. Along with the refurbishments to existing rooms, the new development will create 47 new student rooms, three new Fellow’s sets, a new Combination Room, new disabled facilities and lifts, a new function room, a new College bar, music practice rooms and a new rear entrance that links into the existing College Library and Theatre.

Named after Sir Frank Whittle, a former Petrean and inventor of the jet engine, the Whittle Building includes wheelchair accessible en-suite student

and fellow’s rooms alongside a new JCR, bar and gym available for all students to use, as well as a new meeting room and other facilities.

Many at the college seem pleased with the addition. The Dean, Dr Stephen Hampton, commented that “it will provide not only excellent accommodation for our junior members, but also a range of much needed facilities.” One undergraduate living in the Whittle Building described it as “worth the wait,” while another commended the neo-gothic design saying, “it looks really nice... I like a good turret”. Others noted its accessible design and “plush decoration.”

However, the opening of the Whittle Building has not been without dispute,

The building includes student and fellow’s rooms alongside a new JCR, bar and gym

as some students have complained that their needs have been placed below those of conference guests. The new bar’s design has been criticised by undergraduates as “changing it away from a student bar into a conference bar” and there have been complaints about the lack of hobs in the gyp rooms, in contrast to other second and third year accommodation at Peterhouse.

The student-run campaign Whose University? have voiced concerns, commenting that “the design of Peterhouse’s new Whittle building is emblematic of how students are treated at university these days. It has clearly been built for conference guests first, and students second, with no cooking facilities in gyp rooms which might

Photo: Frances Hughes

encroach on the ability of the college to sweat as much value as possible out of every square inch.”

In response to these issues, Dr Hampton told The Cambridge Student that “conference guests do expect high levels of accommodation but I think our students expect increasingly high levels of accommodation as well and I know that numbers of students do welcome en -suite rooms.”

On the subject of conferences, one student commented “at the end of the day, they do bring in an awful lot of money and subsidise student rent.”

Another highlighted the fact that “it’s hard to complain when you’ve got an en-suite room in the same building as the bar.”

Over 8k gender pay gap at University of Cambridge Clara Jane Hendrickson News Reporter According to a recent review by the University of Cambridge, women on academic contracts on average earn over £8,000 less than men. However, there has been a small reduction in the pay gap from its position in 2012.

The University recently conducted and released its 2014 Equal Pay Review, revealing that, on average, Cambridge women on academic contracts earn £8,400 less than men. The 13.9% gender pay gap among Cambridge University academics has seen a 0.4% decrease from the 2012 gap. More widely the nation’s public sector median gender gap is 17.3%.

In response to the review, Katharine Griffiths, a third year Welfare Officer on Pembroke’s Junior Parlour Committee commented to The Cambridge Student, saying: “I would have thought that academic institutions would have

realized this is a problem. It’s a little disheartening to see this happening at Cambridge. It makes me feel intimidated to become a female academic.”

A university spokesman attributed the current gender pay gap to a gender imbalance among academics wherein females make up only 28.5% of Cambridge’s academics. In addition to the pay gap salary, men in deputy directorships and headships were awarded on average £3,320 in nonpensionable additional payments while women in these positions earned only £1,115, just over a third of that amount.

Gender pay gap reports have been published regularly by the University of Cambridge since 2008, something few universities practice as there is no legal requirement to do so. It also abides by the guidelines of the Joint Negotiating Committee for Higher Education Staff and the Equality and Human Rights Commission, which both assert that gender pay gaps of more than 5%

require action.

In the review’s introduction it was stated that by publishing such a report, the university hopes to maintain the transparency of the university’s pay system and show consideration for its entire workforce. The university also recently revised its Equality Objectives to include addressing the gender pay gap in senior academic positions.

Training, recruitment, and promotion schemes have been devised to increase the number of female employees in senior positions.

Cambridge’s Equal Pay Review Group has recommended a review of the process for setting starting salaries, an exploration of potential initiatives for working parents and aspiring female leaders, and briefings on the 2014 report to guide the work of Cambridge’s new Senior Gender Equality Network.

However, Churchill College’s Master noted that change will take years due to Prof. Mary Beard the low turnover of staff.

Photo: Cardo Maximus via Youtube

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News 6 College Watch

Image: Hannah Taylor

Sidney

Newnham

Caius

Churchill

Sidney Sussex has found itself without a JCR President after elections held at the end of Michaelmas failed to produce the quorum required in order for the vote to pass. Annie Magee, a second year theologian, had stood unopposed for the position on a manifesto that included a commitment to revitalise the Living Wage campaign and to look into the “ethical issues of College’s investment policy.” In an email, acting JCR President, Sam Henderson, encouraged members of the JCR to exercise their democratic right to ensure that the JCR was not left without legitimate leadership. Hustings for the role are now due to take place this Thursday.

This is the second time recently that the JCR has found itself unexpectedly leaderless after the previous President was forced to step down by the College over a disciplinary matter.

From next week, students at Newnham will have access to their very own college counsellor. In response to requests from JCR and MCR members, the counsellor has been appointed by the College to help students if they have concerns that are affecting their personal and academic development.

The College highlights such concerns, which may include procrastination, concentration, relationship problems, perfectionism, stress, loneliness, depression, anxiety, sexuality and bereavement. The counsellor is offering a series of sessions, referrals and twice weekly drop-in appointments. A second year student at Newnham commented: “Appointing a counsellor for the College is a really good idea as it will reduce waiting times and will mean that the people who really need help can seek it straight away.”

Some inhabitants of St Michael’s Court had a chilly night on Monday 19 January after the boiler encountered some issues.

Given the commercial size of the boilers, the internal college plumber was unable to work on them due to legal constraints and so the contractors were called in. They established that a printed circuit board was fried but were unable to replace it until the next morning.

In an email to those on the affected staircases, the maintenance manager advised students to “wrap up warm”.

One second year at Caius said: “Typically it happened on one of the coldest nights of the year. I had to borrow an illicit fan heater from a neighbour. A friend of mine in other accommodation offered to let me sleep on their floor. All I can say is thank God I have an illicit electric blanket.”

Churchill College is this week celebrating the 50th anniversary of the death and state funeral of its founder, Sir Winston Churchill. It also coincides with the 70th anniversary of the end of the Second World War. The College has marked the event by contributing to the launch of a new and exciting website ‘Churchill Central’, where users can find informationgalore on the man himself. It will also send students to commemorate the anniversary at the Houses of Parliament on 30 January 2015.

Allen Packwood, Director of the Churchill Archives Centre, commented: “It is not just about commemorating and looking to the past, but also about building on Churchill’s legacy. It is about building education resources and reaching out to interested future generations.”

Olly Hudson

Rachel Balmer

Anna Carruthers

Jenny Steinitz

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News 7 Oxford looks to take a leaf out of Cambridge’s book Imran Marashli News Reporter A recent article in The Economist has suggested that Cambridge is considerably ahead of Oxford in economic and social terms.

While the fierce rivalry between the two ancient universities usually attracts the most attention, there is a lack of competition between the cities of Oxford and Cambridge according to The Economist. Cambridge comfortably leads the way as a local economy with increases in employment, residents with at least a degree-level education and skilled workers.

These developments prompted Bob Price, the Leader of Oxford City Council, to concede that “Cambridge is at least 20 years ahead of Oxford,” after a 40-strong Oxford delegation of councillors, business leaders and university figures visited Cambridge last October.

The ‘Cambridge Phenomenon’, as it is called, is apparently bolstered by the extensive co-operation between the University of Cambridge, the City Council and local businesses.

Certain statistics are particularly revealing. Last year, 1,020 homes were built in Cambridge compared with a mere 60 in Oxford. It is estimated that

32,000 houses need to be built in Oxford by 2031 to attract more business and employment. Currently, Cambridge City Council, in conjunction with the South Cambridgeshire Council, plans to build 14,000 new homes in the city.

The Regius Professor of Medicine at the University of Oxford, Sir John Bell, highlighted the two universities’ different degree of involvement.

Whereas the University of Cambridge merited praise for its enterprise, he remarked: “Oxford University is concerned with internal issues and managing itself carefully.” Recently, Cambridge University has been working closely with local authorites on the ambitious £1 billion North West development project.

In his latest annual address, ViceChancellor Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz underlined the importance of the University’s role in the latest ‘City Deal’ government grant, which will “help Greater Cambridge to maintain and grow its status as a prosperous economic area by improving transport links, speeding up the development of new homes, creating thousands of new jobs and forging new arrangements for joint decision-making.

“It is no surprise that Cambridge has been described as a model to other areas of Britain.”

“Cambridge is at least 20 years ahead of Oxford”

Oxford: just not quite up to scratch

Photo: Bill Tyne via Flickr

Green Party announces smartcard system for Cambridge public transport Helen Spokes News Reporter The Green Party has released a ‘greenprint’ for Cambridge and its inner city transport.

The proposals, unveiled in Cambridge on Friday, include the re-regulation of buses, congestion charging, and the need to improve networks and safety for cyclists and pedestrians.

The report also recommends the implementation of a smartcard system

for the city’s public transport, named the ‘CambCard’.

Rupert Read, Cambridge’s Green Party parliamentary candidate, predicts that transport and traffic management in the city will be a key issue for the upcoming General Election in May. He commented: “Other parties – and the City Deal proposals – speak earnestly about their desire to reign in Cambridge’s traffic, but it is no good willing the ends if you do not will the means. Only radical green solutions

The traditional mode of transport for students

will actually work”.

Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party, added: “We have found ... that we need to combine provision of good, reliable public transport with ensuring that the costs of car use to our society and environment is at least partially transferred to the car user”.

The party has also suggested reopening the old train line from Cambridge to Oxford and taking the railways back into public ownership on a national level.

Photo: Tom Riley

The Green Party has now exceeded the membership figures of the Lib Dems and UKIP

The Greens propose funding these changes by cancelling the HS2 rail network, scaling back road-building and ending subsidies to air-travel and fossil fuel use. These new policy proposals come as the Green Party has now exceeded the membership figures of the Liberal Democrats and UKIP. However, the Cambridge Universities Labour Club (CULC) claims that these Green Party proposals are nothing new, but rather are just derived from old Labour Party policies.

Fred Jerrome, Chair of CULC, commented to The Cambridge Student that it was “good to see some longterm Labour plans being backed by the Greens. Daniel Zeichner, Labour’s candidate for MP in Cambridge, called for a ‘CambCard’ years ago and it is now under consideration by our Labour council. Similarly, the EastWest railway has cross party support – Labour will invest in infrastructure like this to create decent jobs for all.

The Greens with their no growth, no new homes agenda have nothing to say about building a better economy ... if you want progressive policies, then get a Labour government elected in May.”

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News 8 Huppert backs better protection for student victims of sexual assault Rachel Balmer Deputy News Editor The MP for Cambridge, Julian Huppert, is calling for better protection for university students against the danger of sexual assault.

In an open letter to The Telegraph, Huppert has joined with a group of politicians, students and victim support groups in demanding policy change on how universities should respond to complaints of sexual assault.

The letter comes as stark research

by The Telegraph recently showed that 1 in 3 female students in Britain have endured either sexual assault or unwanted advances at university.

The letter, which expresses frustration at the current levels of support provided by universities for students who are sexually assaulted, has been signed by 20 people. Those who have signed demanding clearer policies from the government and Universities UK include Laura Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, eight crossparty MPs and representatives from both the National Union of Students and Rape Crisis.

The letter highlights issues with the current situation, saying that despite the fact that full-time students have an increased risk of experiencing sexual violence compared to other women: “unlike employees, who are given clear protection from employers, many university students have no recourse other than the police when sexually assaulted by other students.”

Furthermore, guidance on how universities should handle complaints of sexual assault “would send a clear message to universities that sexual assault cannot be ignored, and must be addressed sensitively and thoroughly,” the letter says.

Mr Huppert commented that “It is appalling that we are leaving young women vulnerable in our universities because there are no clear and uniform protection policies in place to make sure they are safe…We have come a long way in protecting women in the workplace and in other areas of society but we have a long way to go.”

Amelia Horgan, CUSU Women’s Officer drew attention to the issues here at Cambridge: “Our University routinely fails survivors of sexual

violence. There is no central policy on supporting those who’ve experienced sexual assault; instead colleges follow their own, often non-existent, policies.

College officials responsible for following sexual harassment policies and supporting students have often had limited or no training on sexual violence…Colleges need policies, and tutors, porters and other relevant staff need training.”

She added, “While I appreciate Julian Huppert’s call for action, and fully agree that Cambridge needs to do much much more, Julian might also want to look into the (notoriously bad) practice

of Cambridgeshire police, who’ve just been accused of mishandling sexual violence cases.”

“This year the Women’s Campaign helped organise consent workshops and talks for around 3,000 incoming freshers, and we’re looking to make these even bigger next year. CUSU offers confidential advice and support via the Student Advice Service, and the women’s and welfare sabbatical officers.

The CUSU Women’s Campaign works with Cambridge Rape Crisis centre to ensure the help we provide and the work of our campaigns are in line with UK rape crisis guidelines.”

Jesus Green

E L C Y C DON’T S! T H G I L T U WITHO

…AND AVOID A £30 FINE.

Bike lights available from CUSU for just £8.

Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge, CB2 3RF.

Open 9am-5pm Mon-Fri | 01223 333 313 | info@cusu.cam.ac.uk

Photo: James Bowe

1 in 3 female students in Britain have endured a sexual assault or unwanted advance at university

22January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Dispatches 9 Wandering through Jerusalems: The divine and the mundane Dorota Molin Dispatches Columnist

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here isn’t a single Jerusalem – there’s an entire mosaic of them, cities within a city. The walls of division between them run through time and space. Take the border of history, for instance. Within the walls of the Old City, you find the remains of the ancient Jewish Temple, once the heart of all Judaism.

There also, you can see the AlAqsa mosque, one of the oldest and most impressive pieces of Islamic architecture. But when you leave these walls, you’re immediately swept into the swirl of modern life.

The division also runs through geography. For example, residents of some East Jerusalem areas spend their lives behind a security barrier. There are also places which you can only get to on either a Jewish or an Arab bus.

But this spatial division also means a mental one. A few metres of physical distance can mean miles of culture – sometimes a distance so vast that one would never cross it. If Arab buses don’t enter certain parts of the city,

Where all the forms end up

Palestinians themselves will seldom do so, coralled by public transport.

This causes a lack of human interaction, and where interaction is lacking, physical space starts to bleed into cultural space as well: opinions and even bias emerge. This will move round in a circle – these sentiments will stop people from crossing the physical borders as well.

A very illustrative example of this mental division is the name of the city itself. The Hebrew designation ‘Yerushalaim’ has been used since the Israelites inhabited the city a few thousand years ago.

In Arabic, on the other hand, the name ‘Al-Quds’ means ‘the holy’. According to Islamic tradition, Jerusalem was the place from which Prophet Muhammad ascended to heaven. Two different names that represent two contrasting religions, historical narratives and views on the role of the city.

This is the nature of the place in which I am spending my year abroad.

Sometimes I feel I’m drowning.

Drowning in the depths of history and narrative, in the hot water of political and social unrest. Because I can’t One of many Jerusalems

Photo: Peter Kurdulija

Je suis bureaucrat: C’est la vie Catherine Maguire Dispatches Contributor

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tereotypes, we are told, are wrong. As an Irishwoman myself, I’ve spent a fair amount of time protesting that I’m not from a nation (entirely) composed of

bombers and drunkards. It was with this open mindset that I stepped on to French soil in July 2014, on the cusp of what has turned out to be the most inspiring and bizarre period of my life. I was going to give the French a chance. They were not going to be the nation of chain-smoking, strike-loving

pen pushers that my father would make them out to be.

I should add at this point that I have found the French people with whom I have come into contact nothing short of warm, welcoming, and ever so slightly mad as a box of frogs. I fear, however, that old stereotypes die hard across the Channel. My lungs have aged horribly, strikes are a weekly occurrence and – just as I feared – bureaucracy looms large above all.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have raised my expectations quite so high. Some estimates place the number of civil servants in France at 20% of the working population, all of whom enjoy near-total job security, with an agreeable salary, generous holidays, and the prospect of early retirement.

The French themselves would happily admit the shortfalls of this bloated sector. Tales are rife of civil servants who compete to see who will hover longest at the coffee machine, and some allegedly even claim travel allowances for visiting a prostitute during working hours. There are so many civil servants that there simply isn’t enough for them to do, and the result is a complicated network of administration with labrynthine trails of paperwork and online records.

Sometimes it feels as though the system is simply out to trick you. You could set out armed with your passport,

make sense of the innumerable and contradictory opinions. But any time I swallow some of the water, I realise it’s sweet. Irresistibly sweet.

It’s sweet, because this place is, after all, fundamentally fascinating, especially the overlap between the various cultural, political and social realities. For instance, one can think about how the large-scale political processes are perceived by ordinary people, or how people manage to realise their private dreams in the deeply uncertain situation.

I think about a joint JewishPalestinian music event which took place in the streets last November, the same month as multiple deadly attacks.

There was an amazing effort to stay normal and carry on, because when you lose normality and the ability to enjoy it, you will become one big nerve, exposed to the tension.

Perhaps, when all of these cities within the city - the varying lifestyles, the cultures and the traditions - are finally put together, they will form one great Jerusalem, like a thousand different jigsaw puzzle pieces coming Photo: Dorota Molin together to show the final image.

Some even claim travel allowances for visitng prostitutes during working hours

birth certificate, driver’s licence, job contract, rental contract, utility bills, bank details and passport photos, yet a cruel twist of fate would ensure that your destination is either closed, fit to burst, or staffed by particularly indifferent robots.

Even signing a phone contract is laughably convoluted. In order to have the money debited from your account each month, you require a French bank account. To open a bank account, naturally, you need a French contact telephone number. Joseph Heller would undoubtedly be proud.

I received my social security payments only after a mere six months of cajoling, wheedling, pleading, grovelling and convincing stony-faced officials that I was an EU citizen. Even visiting the doctor will inevitably result in a flurry of paperwork and a monthlong wait to receive reimbursement for my medication.

There’s a certain je ne sais quoi which makes me feel rather French, about walking into an establishment, explaining, haranguing for hours, and finally leaving with exactly the right bunch of forms.

Then when things finally go your way, the best feeling of all is knowing that you did it all yourself, in a foreign country, and in a foreign language.

I might even get sentimental – if only the buses weren’t on strike.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Science and Research

10

A solution in the soil

What makes us go ‘aww’?

Jenny Chalmers Science & Research Contributor

Chris Lynch Science & Research Contributor

Antibiotics are chemical compounds which either kill bacteria, or stop them from reproducing. More than 150 have been developed to treat bacterial infections, and they are estimated to have saved millions of lives since the discovery of penicillin in 1928. However, many bacteria are now becoming resistant to antibiotics, making these ‘miracle’ drugs useless against several deadly diseases.

Bacteria can evolve resistance to antibiotics in several ways, through adapting the cellular process targeted by the antibiotic, or by pumping the antibiotic molecule out of their cell.

Unnecessary prescription of antibiotics, pre-emptive administration in livestock to prevent disease (now banned in Europe since 2006) and not finishing a full course of antibiotics have all contributed to the rise in antibiotic resistance. Over-use of antibiotics applies a strong selective pressure for bacteria to evolve resistance.

The Health Protection Agency say they are “seeing an increasing number of resistant strains year on year,” with some of the deadliest pathogens becoming resistant to multiple antibiotics, such as extensively drugresistant tuberculosis, and a few strains resistant to all antibiotics. In the UK, 2500 patients die each year from blood poisoning by antibioticresistant superbugs. England’s chief medical officer, Professor Dame Sally

Davies, has described this situation as an “apocalypse.”

Resistance to current antibiotics is not a problem if new antibiotics are constantly introduced. However, no novel classes of antibiotics have made it since the Lipopeptides were discovered in 1987. In addition to increased costs of development, only four pharmaceutical companies are now actively researching antibiotics. There is, however, some hope. Several programmes have recently been launched to encourage research into antibiotics, for example the European IMI has provided £190 million for research into antibiotics.

In January 2015, scientists at Boston’s Northeastern University reported a novel approach for discovering antibiotics.

Many bacteria secrete their own antibiotics to fend off competition from other bacteria. Professor Kim Lewis and his team believe they can grow nearly 50% by exposing the bacteria to soil. 25 new antibiotic compounds have already been discovered with this method, and 1 of these – Teixobactin – has already been shown to be non-toxic to mammalian tissues and able to clear deadly doses of MRSA in mice.

Although the new discoveries are promising, they only delay the problem of an antibiotic “apocalypse.”

Antibiotic prescriptions in England are still rising, and it is now the right time for educating about the intelligent use of antibiotics .

The cure for MRSA?

Although the new discoveries are promising, they only delay the problem of an antibiotic “apocylpse”

Photo: United Soybean Board

1

Shreya Kulkarni Science & Research Editor

An adorable evolutionary hangover?

A group of astronomers have teamed up with researchers from the University of Cambridge to delve back into the early years of the universe, to discover the role quasers – extremely luminous galactic objects powered by a supermassive black hole in the core. Using telescopes and supercomputer simulations, the team were able to mimick the action of these stellar objects, driven by the energy drawn in by supermassive black holes. Looking back 13 billion years, the team found that quasars spat out cold gas at high speeds of 2,000km per second! “It is the first time that we have seen outflowing cold gas moving at these large speeds at such large distances from the supermassive black hole,” said Claudia Cicone, a PhD student at Cambridge’s Cavendish Laboratory.

The findings help shine a light into the beginnings of our universe.

2

It’s an undeniable fact that we find baby animals endearing. We’d much prefer to look at a young puppy or a lion cub than to be met with an old, well-worn middle-aged elephant. The answer may lie in our humble evolutionary past.

In 1943, ethologist Konrad Lorenz argued that the reason why we find infants so especially attractive, so especially cute, is that a perception of cuteness increases the ability to parent. When we feel endearment towards babies, this makes us feel less aggressive, more tender, and keen to take care of the pooing and spewing little darling in front of us. These feelings induce a powerful desire in humans to protect the security and further the wellbeing of the baby that they find so adorably cute.

This simple evolutionary picture of our partiality for babies might help shed light on why humans find human babies so adorable. But there remains the question of why humans find baby animals so attractive and charming too look at and to feel. The evidence surrounding the human attraction to baby animals as compared with adults of the same species falls broadly into two camps. Firstly, there are the ‘objective’ results of repeatable scientific

A 20 minute walk a day could be enough to reduce the risk of early death, as recent research shows that lack of exercise is responsible for twice as many deaths as obesity. Collating data on from over 300,00 men and women from across Europe, researchers measured the height, weight, waste circumference and self-assessed level of physical activity. The study found a significant reduction in risk of premature death in the moderately active compared to those who were inactive. Only a 20 minute walk a day, burning 90-110kcal, could reduce the risk by 16-30 per cent.

Professor Ulf Ekelund from the MRC Epidemiology Unit at the University of Cambridge, who led the study, says: “This is a simple message: just a small amount of physical activity each day could have substantial health benefits for people who are physically inactive.”

Photo: Andrew Magill

experiments. And secondly, there are the comparably more subjective data of people’s expressed likings for stuffed baby animal toys, for baby animals as portrayed in films and television.

Our attraction to so-called ‘cute’ baby animals may in effect be a mere evolutionary hangover, where our minds are tricked by the features we see. We like baby animals because they look like baby humans do – and we are biologically programmed to care for babies. Our solid evolutionary tendency to care for human babies then gets misapplied to the rest of the animal kingdom, and we come to feel a pang when we look at a meowing kitten or a prowling bear cub.

Whilst this feels more relevant to a past primitive stage than speaking to our enlightened 21st Century modernity, it affirms that our tendency to find babies cute is one that we’re better off having than lacking. For one thing, it’s intrinsically pleasurable to spend time looking at or playing with a young animal, where the harm factor that you get with adults of the species is typically removed. But more importantly, our ability to find babies cute keeps us going back for more: procreating, raising and collectively nurturing new lives.

3

The spread of the fatal Lassa fever may have roots in the human to human transmission of “superspreaders”, suggest researchers, who are part of the “Dynamic Drivers of Disease in Africa Consortium”. Lassa fever is an acute viral haemorrhagic illness, that in 20 per cent of cases is spread due to human-to-human contact.

The danger comes in ‘super spreaders’: individuals who spread the disease to a disproportionate number of people.

Researchers hope that by highlighting this mode of transmission, changes can be put into place to control Lassa fever.

Dr Grant, co-author of the research said: “Simple messages to the local people could change their perceptions of risk and hopefully make the difference. For example, making people aware that the virus can remain in urine for several weeks during the recovery period, could promote improved hygienic practices.”

A 20 minute walk a day could reduce your risk of premature death by 1630 per cent

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Editorial 11 The importance of being happy

Creature feature

Jack May Editor-in-Chief

This week on ‘Instacam’, our Lifestyle column on page 29, we’re celebrating the return of the those things we’ve missed most about Cambridge; but what about the things we’ve left behind? Here’s a shout out to the pets most missed that provided the TCS team with endless fun and emotional support over the vac.

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oday I was lumped with Lent Term’s first load of work. In the next week, I’ll be expected to grasp the political background of the French revolution, delve into the depths of paratextual criticism with reference to early Romantic poetry and attempt to understand the cultural significance of the newspaper’s rise to prominence in the eighteenth century.

Somehow I got into this University, and somehow I’m still here in spite of dangerous indifference to Tripos, but it’s safe to say I wasn’t cut out for this. University, and the University of Cambridge in particular, demands a very particular kind of mind, and suits a very particular kind of individual.

It’s not just about ‘academic potential, motivation and suitability for your chosen course’, as the University’s admissions website would have us believe. You need to be obsessed – in a phenomenal, enviable, and downright scary way – with your subject.

The fundamental fact is that it’s not for everyone, but if you’re someone with a certain level of aspiration seeking work in certain job sectors, there isn’t much choice.

The University of Cambridge supposedly produces the world’s most employable graduates. Personally, that fact has driven my own decision to stay, in spite of the fact that attitudes to academic work have become increasingly frustrating.

In basic terms, for many of us the only way to get through the slog of Cambridge’s academic fanatacism is to turn to other sides of life. There’s a reason we’re famous for the ‘other

things’ you can do with your time at Cambridge (see pages 16–17).

If keeping yourself happy and sane in spite of your degree means getting up at 5 a.m. six days a week to trial for the University Boat Race, or spending 40 hours a week in an office with neglible windows to produce a newspaper (hi!), there’s a high likelihood that you’ll end up behind on work.

This is rendered all the more problematic when your workload demands around 60 hours of work a week (according to a former supervisor of mine) to be done ‘properly’. With this in mind, the ‘unnecessary pressure’ we reported last week seems unsurprising.

The reading week campaign that is central to this week’s front page story is further evidence that this problem is becoming widely recognised.

The question this raises, and the one we pose in this week’s debate (see page 14), is whether we should ‘lie’ to applicants to raise aspirations and encourage those ‘non-traditional’ applications, or simply tell it like it is. Do ‘Cambridge hopefuls’ really know what they’re letting themselves in for?

The trick is to convince our academics that there are those in the world for whom intimate and introspective study of a subject for its own sake is not supremely fascinating. They need to understand that giving students space to thrive in their extracurricular activities will produce more interesting, engaged, and world-ready graduates.

They may not be as high-achieving, but they’ll be happy. To the horror of those who regularly use phrases like ‘academic rigour’ and ‘intellectual scrutiny’ with no hint of irony, I’m going to put myself out there, and say I know what’s more important.

Flossie the Dwarf Chinchilla Rabbit This rambunctious bunny belongs to the most fortunate of Associate Editors, Freya Sanders. She enjoys long walks, eating dandelions and sitting on people’s laps. Coincidentally, Flossie likes all those things as well.

The pooches Lottie is a Miniature Schnauzer who intensely enjoys Christmas. Her nononsense attitude is similar to that of her owner, Associate Editor Sam Rhodes.

Charlie, like her owner Sports Editor The kitties Flora McFarlane, is a bit of a poser.

After successfully breaking a massive news story, Colm Murphy, Associate Editor, and Jenny Steinitz, News Editor, should take a leaf out of their respective cats’ books and chill.

Editorial Team: Lent Term 2015 Editor-in-Chief

Jack May

Associate Editors

Colm Murphy Sam Rhodes Freya Sanders

News Editors Deputy News

Shreya Kulkami

Comment Editors

Albi Stanley Rebecca Moore Brontë Phillips William Hewstone

Jenny Steinitz Anna Carruthers Interviews Editor Rachel Balmer Shilpita Mathews Features Editors Jack Lewy Tonicha Upham Olly Hudson Catherine Maguire Columns Editor

Investigation Editor Ellie Hayward Dispatches Editor

Science & Research Editor

Will Amor

Theatre Editor Technology Editor

TV & Film Editor

Grace Murray

Fashion Editor

Maddy Airlie

Books Editor

Alice Mottram

Lifestyle Editors

Jessy Ahluwalia Lucy Meekley

Food & Drink Editor

Julia Stanyard

Sport Editor

Charles Martland Flora McFarlane

Design Editor

Daisy Schofield

Production Editor

Thomas Saunders

Social Media Managers

Yema Stowell Ru Merritt

Chief Sub Editors

Megan Proops Char Furniss-Roe

Sub Editors

Camilla Penney Stevie Hertz Sydney Patterson Signe Kossman

Directors

Ciara Berry Jemma Stewart Siu Hong Yu Hazel Shearing

TCS Top Dogs

Sam Rhodes Miranda Gabbot Olly Hudson

Julius Haswell Amelia Oakley Elsa Maishman Chase Smith Sian Avery Harry Parker Sam Raby

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Comment 12 LGBT+ schools: Why we must not abandon inclusivity Chris Rowe Comment Contributor

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he recent suggestion by Amelia Lee, strategic director for the charity LGBT Youth North West, to establish a school solely for LGBT+ students forms part of a worrying trend in favour of segregation in our education system, also evident in calls for the establishment of state-school only colleges in Oxbridge.

Segregation marks an abandonment of principle, and merely kicks the issue of prejudice into the long grass, thereby perpetuating inequality in our society. Benign intentions undoubtedly lie behind the proposal of an LGBT+ school in Manchester and Amelia Lee’s portrayal of homophobic bullying in schools is unfortunately all too close to the truth. However the proposals for an LGBT+ school are the ultimate disservice to the cause of equality. They signify a negation of the current assumption which underpins our education system: that everyone should be treated equally.

The LGBT+ pupil’s education, a key component of one’s upbringing, will be defined on grounds of their sexuality

or their gender status. At least as harmful would be the concurrent effect on pupils attending ‘normal’ schools – I use this word intentionally, for discrimination necessarily involves defining the ‘norm’. Siphoning off LGBT+ pupils to ‘other’ schools will entrench an ‘us’ and ‘them’ dichotomy in the highly malleable minds of young children; schools which admit pupils based on their sexuality will emblaze in the minds of children the very lines of difference we should be keen to extinguish.

If we do not confront prejudice at a young age, when are we going to deal with it? Hasn’t progress already been made in recent generations concerning equality, precisely because we have addressed issues of prejudice head-on rather than accepting their inevitability and doing nothing?

It would seem consistent with my logic that women-only colleges at Oxbridge should be banned and, moreover, that they should never have existed, but I doubt their continuing existence is harmful. At an early age, schools are imparting gender equality to their students and this can hardly be overturned by the odd all-women college at university. Cementing

We have a framework of education based on inclusivity – we must not endanger this

differences between children of school age carries many more dangers. Were all-women colleges ever justified?

Unequivocally, yes. In an era when women were decades away from having the vote (Girton was founded in 1869, Newnham in 1871), womenonly colleges provided a crucial platform upon which they were able to propound their equal worth and obtain an education. Therefore it is indeed possible to be comfortable with the continuing existence of the odd all-women college, and moreover approve of their initial foundation, but simultaneously dread with horror LGBT+ schools or the prospect of state-school colleges at Oxbridge.

When all-women colleges were first founded, women were fighting widespread prejudice. Times have changed, thankfully, and it would be misleading to suggest that a shock

Rainbow buses for rainbow schools

antidote like to segregation is the answer to the lingering problems of prejudice and inequality in our society.

State school pupils attending Oxbridge interviews are not hampered by an elitist nostalgia held by university dons, but instead by the inadequacies of their schooling. Accordingly, they do not need their own colleges.

Nor is segregation necessary to ensure LGBT+ equality We have a framework of higher education based on inclusivity – it would be the height of folly to imperil this.

The struggle led initially by women, and since by others, has been formative in developing a broad, albeit neither all-encompassing nor entirely complete, acceptance of equality. This has rendered the need for segregation unnecessary in today’s society and paved the way for ultimate equality based on inclusivity.

Credit: jglson

We must support Muslims at Oxbridge Abdalla Abdalla Comment Contributor

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Photo: Amin Mat Azahar

ollowing the recent Charlie Hebdo attack, many commenters, whilst condemning the brutal violence, also pointed to Muslims as being increasingly ‘powerless’ and ‘demonised’. Perhaps part of the solution to this problem is to encourage as many Muslims as possible to play

a full and productive role in society.

A prerequisite to this is radically improving and widening access into our most elite institutions, including Oxbridge. As the Vice-President of the Cambridge Islamic Society (ISoc), I am incredibly privileged to be involved in access schemes which seek to empower Muslim students to view Oxbridge as an attainable goal.

It is also simultaneously demoralising to see first-hand the fears and worries, whether real or imagined, that prevent so many prospective Muslim students from applying here. With issues including Cambridge socialising, access to halal meat and the availability of praying facilities, it is clear that for some Muslims capable of applying and getting offers from Oxbridge, their faith seems fundamentally incompatible with the university experience, despite all Oxbridge offers.

It is important that these fears, often steeped in misconceptions, be allayed by actively promoting access and ensuring that Oxbridge, in particular, is a welcoming environment for all students of all faiths and none.

Alcohol is often a barrier for many

We must convince students that they can maintain their relgious practice at Cambridge

Muslims to engage in social activities, especially during Freshers’ Week. It is not only Muslims, or even religious people, who prefer not to attend such activities: recent Freshers’ Week nondrinking socials organised by many colleges such as Fitz and Downing have proven popular thus far.

The fear of not having access to halal food in Cambridge is a reccurring issue asked of ISoc by worried students in sixth form wondering whether or not to apply here. A growing number of colleges (over 15 currently) now offer halal certainly a step in the right direction, but as ever, more could be done in order to ease the worries of Muslim applicants. It seems right that colleges should seek to accommodate the requests of religious groups if they are reasonable, as it could fundamentally impact perceptions and ultimately access.

Muslims are required to pray five times a day and this can be incredibly hard to achieve in between lectures, supervisions and practicals. This is made even more difficult when not near your room or the prayer room (on the Sigwick Site). Some Muslim students

I have spoken to have helped ensure that departments and colleges have a designated room for reflection open for all: Emmanuel recently opened a room for reflections which can be used by a diverse group of students. It is small steps such as this that breakdown misconceptions of Oxbridge as solely catering for one privileged group in society.

The Islamic Society has an Access Day twice a year to encourage applications from Muslim students, as well as a buddy system and alternative prospectus that is tailor-made to answer Muslim-specific questions, popular among the Islamic community.

I stress to those young Muslims concerned about social aspect like clubbing that there are many activities that do not fit the university society ‘stereotype’; this is probably more so the case at Oxbridge than anywhere else – students can be involved in journalism, the Union and numerous sport societies to name but a few.

ISoc and Oxbridge in general must convince gifted but unsure students that one can certainly maintain their faith and practices at the University.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Comment 13 Why being a gay Tory is a paradox Felix Wilks Comment Contibutor

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harlie Bell, in a recent article for Get Real, has forcefully pleaded that it’s not only unacceptable to criticise gay Tories, it’s tantamount to systematic oppression.

Tories are, Charlie Bell explains, a threatened breed in Cambridge, perpetually under fire from “ultra-left-wing thugs”. This hallucinatory mob of far-left insurgents who apparently have a monopoly on power in the University often tends to crop up in conversation with your garden variety Tory. But until colleges begin to replace Latin grace at formal dinners with readings from The Communist Manifesto, I think they can rest safe in the knowledge that Cambridge is an overridingly rightwing environment to be a student, to an extent that never fails to astound me.

Being left wing in any serious measure automatically places you in a minority in Cambridge.

What strikes me as even more astounding than the ubiquity of Conservatism in Cambridge, however, is the peculiar cross over that occurs when pink and blue meet in the metaphorical Venn diagram: people who are as proud to be part of the LGBT+ community as they are to be a Tory. Whilst it is difficult to imagine why anyone would be proud to call themselves Conservative, it is the stark incongruity of these two identities that is most perplexing.

Of course, expressing allegiance to

Conservative values are not some kind of ideological pic-and-mix. Contrary to a popular Cambridge misapprehension, Tory social policy and Tory economic policy cannot be separated out into two distinct categories.

Likewise, the persistently negative attitude of the Conservatives towards the LGBT+ community is not some sort of anomaly. Such fictions permit people to believe, for example, that a vote against gay marriage is not equivalent to a vote against the rights of the LGBT+ community. These things are, in fact, one and the same, and any opponent of same-sex marriage is categorically a homophobe.

Even if they do let you past the bouncers at the Pitt Club, Tories only really have room for one type of gay: white, middle to upper class and male.

Super progressive and inclusive... Photo: Nicky Rowbottom It is to this section of the LGBT+ community that the Tories pitch their any given political party does not mean restrictive brand of Conservatism. wholehearted subscription to every It comes as little surprise that the aspect of it. But with the Tories there banner image in Charlie Bell’s article, is a key difference. Forget Section 28. The showing the LGBTories out in force Let’s take a look at the fact that the at a Pride parade, featured not a persistently percentage of Tory MPs who recently single woman or black person. The voted against gay marriage was more negative ‘Transgender +’ section of the acronym than double that of the LibDems and attitude has been removed for the convenience Labour combined. This is a party towards of a trite, snappy slogan, “LGBTory”, whose Chancellor of the Exchequer the LGBT+ demonstrating how superficial the referred to a gay Labour MP as “the commitment of the Tories is to community is pantomime dame” in the House of important LGBT+ rights.

Commons. Almost as hilarious as not some sort The classic Tory tactic of using the of anomoly Dave’s “calm down dear” quip. past as a point of comparison rather Gay supporters of the Tories than looking forward to what progress cannot overlook the party’s ingrained is yet to be made thinly veils the fact homophobia as a mere ethical lapse. that much of the way in which the Tories

treat LGBT+ people is fundamentally backward-looking. Take the fabled Adonians society here in Cambridge, a literal hotbed of gay Toryism. It glamorises a bygone, clandestine way of living for LGBT+ people that the vast majority of our community wants to look beyond. And, surprise surprise, it’s men only.

Equally distressing is the fact that the sponsorship for CUSU LGBT+ comes from Deloitte, which last September held an Oxbridge Freshers’ event for LGBT+ students that felt as though it was trying to generate the equivalent of an old boys network.

The Conservatives feed the LGBT+ community the Thatcherite lie that we exist in a straightforward meritocracy which is unqualified by peoples’ gender, creeds, colours, sexual orientations.

The Deloitte event is a prime example of how this isn’t the case. It attempted to assimilate LGBT+ people to elitist right-wing ideals, betraying the fact that being gay and black or gay and working class limits how desirable you are to the Conservative party. The Tories’ brand of LGBT+ ‘rights’ erases the important idea that solidarity and cooperation with other oppressed groups is crucially important.

As a member of the LGBT+ community, I am not unempathetic enough to settle for, let alone actively work towards creating a society where ‘LGBT+ equality’ means privileges for a select few and continued and regular marginalisation for everybody else.

Cambridge’s pressure shows we’re getting it right Will Hewstone Comment Editor

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ambridge stands accused of grossly overworking students and contributing to a mental health problem in the university. We are told that we are cracking under the weight of unmanageable work and poor-quality teaching. As if they weren’t happy kicking King’s students out over Christmas, now they are driving us into depression and anxiety - and so it goes.

However, all this “unnecessary pressure” on Cambridge students should be considered carefully.

Arabists, for instance, gave shocking responses. AMES satisfaction was the lowest, languishing at 75%, compared with an average 93% approval.

To claim that this is an expression of frustration at extreme workloads is simply not true, as Cambridge have only released the figures for overall

satisfaction. Accompanying comments lament poor quality teaching and high workloads. Not the same thing, you might have noticed, and neither problem is easily rectifiable.

CUSU, still reeling from the disastrous 2014 restructuring referendum (which, at 7% turnout, failed to meet the pathetically low 10% validity threshold), will campaign for improvements. Laudable though that may be, the campaign’s motives seem shadowy. The predictable outrage at headlines accompanies a tragic ignorance of the facts, the blame for which rests with the students who rush to propagate the information and reclaim the reins of power.

The knee-jerk response from CUSU has been to agree to campaign for a reading week, rejecting the possibility of conducting any research. As if extending terms wouldn’t increase costs for students while reducing holiday time. Not to mention the negligible

The CUSU campaign’s motives seem shadowy

academic consequences (imagine the state of Cindies after a week without work). Reading weeks offer only brief respite before an inevitable return to the weekly timetables that many students hate.

Those who suffer with mental illness require considerable support.

By lapsing into the populism of eyegrabbing stats from undergraduate statisticians, we might well end up overlooking those who didn’t or couldn’t respond, which would seem even more dangerous.

As for student ‘satisfaction’, the fact is that if we hadn’t reported these statistics, something would be very wrong. It should come as no surprise that only 27% of us always complete work to our ‘satisfaction’.

In an environment where the mantra is that there is always more you can do, more to read, and more to know, the real surprise is that so many of us believe we’ve done ‘enough’.

I want to know whether the 39% who claimed they had enough time to understand course content really believe they’ve parsed out the intricacies of gravitational physics or Shakespeare. This seems an apt moment to deploy the Confucian jibe that “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance”.

We are students of the best university in the country, and the second-best university on the planet.

If we’re not feeling a little pressured, then what on earth are we doing?

Photo: Ray Anderson

22 January 2014 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Comment 14

Yes

Sam Rhodes Associate Editor On an access tour there is always time for questions. This can go one of two ways; either a room full of energised teenagers make their teachers proud, or it’s a fifteen minute awkward silence filled only with your encouraging smile.

However, the awfulness of this silence pales in comparison to any of the dreaded questions that no access officer really wants to answer.

Is there good pastoral support? Do you get many people from a range of backgrounds? How do you find time for socialising and working? In these situations, even the best case scenario is a lie of omission. I’m lucky enough to do an arts degree which gives me time to do all kinds of other things, but if I’m asked about extra-curricular activities by someone in a room full of proto-

medics, that’s almost entirely irrelevant.

I know just as well as any other student that they’ll be worked harder than they ever have been before, probably harder than they ever thought possible – if they get in. In this case, I think an optimistic but honest answer is possible. When it comes to questions about personal experiences, the answer is murkier.

Whenever anyone does an access tour, they’re doing more than speaking as themselves. They’re representing their college and their university, and to put a personal grudge or bad experience before that is selfishness of the highest order. I may well feel abandoned by college, but bringing those feelings into a room full of students who in all likelihood will not be applying to university, never mind Oxbridge, is entirely wrong. Many people speak of the confidence that independent schools give as the key reason for the disproportionate application rate.

Access events provide a chance to spread some confidence around, although perhaps those already getting

To put forward a personal grudge is selfishness of the highest order.

an overly rosy view of Cambridge from their school would benefit from a more realistic approach.

What must also be remembered is the sad fact that our success rate is atrocious – access officers and admissions tutors speak to tens of thousands of schoolchildren each year.

Of course there are a few success stories, but there is a greater and longer lasting good that can be achieved. The most serious problem facing access at Oxbridge is our reputation amongst the wider world – the teachers and parents with a grudge, the newspapers with an agenda, and the young people who listen to both. By showing students not just what Oxbridge is, but what it can be at its best, we fight all three. There are more than enough people busy denigrating Cambridge, and even more intent on telling prospective students and the general public that it’s too hard for ‘people like them’. I see no reason why we should join in.

I would never tell anyone helping in an access event to lie outright, but

Harmless really? Photo: Tristram Schim I’d urge anyone to think incredibly carefully before telling a schoolchild from an under-represented background that Cambridge is an inhospitable place to live and work. The best case scenario is yes, they apply anyway, get in, and are perhaps slightly better prepared should their experience at Cambridge happen to be negative. The worst is that we lose yet another bright person to the awful stereotypes and snobbery that have already prevented so many from reaching their full potential.

Perhaps if all those people had applied, we wouldn’t have to lie. It may sound utopian, but what’s the point of access if you don’t think things can change?

Should we continue to lie to Cambridge's hopefuls?

I wonder if they had an access tour?

No

Ashley Chhibber Opinion Contributor Last week, The Cambridge Student revealed that 45% of Cambridge finalists feel their workload is unmanageable, and 62% feel their course applied too much pressure, compared to national averages of 22% and 34% respectively.

Before that, the big story was Whose University?, raising concerns over colleges prioristising conferences over their duty of care towards students.

“So what?” comes the usual reply.

“What’s new?” Cambridge is tough, it’s stressful, and it’s unlikely to change any time soon. We knew all that when we

Photo: edbrambley signed up.’

For most of us, however, that last statement is untrue. Applications to Cambridge take place under a veil of wilful ignorance. The prospectus, the open days, even student-led Q&A sessions, brush these problems under the carpet. “Yes, it’s hard,” we say, “but everything else makes up for it.

Have I told you about punting? Or all the great shows you’ll see or act in at the ADC? Best three years of your life!” After all, the argument goes, we don’t want to risk putting applicants off – especially applicants from less advantaged backgrounds, applicants who are already worried they might not fit in.

Instead, we wait until students get here to reveal that life isn’t quite so rosy after all. We wait until those

Pretending that the difficulties of Cambridge life do not exist will not make them disappear.

students for whom the structures and lifestyle are completely unsuited – the lack of coursework, say, or the constant deadlines – are failing, are exhausted and too stressed to function, and then we quietly suggest they intermit, get away from an environment that can be so difficult for so many of us.

The university’s access record remains untarnished: there’s no need to monitor the possible problems of massive culture-shock once you’ve got those state-school kids through the door. Deceiving applicants benefits nobody but that institutional instinct to allow problems to be ignored.

If telling applicants just how stressful life here can be were to result in a drop in applications, then the university would have no choice but to take this issue seriously. If discussions about institutional sexism led to a massive gender imbalance, the institution would be forced to improve, or else face the wrath of the tabloids (you can imagine the Daily Mail headlines).

Pretending that the difficulties of Cambridge life do not exist will not make them disappear. As long as we are complicit in telling the outside world that this is the case, we remain with our heads in the sand.

Providing a more honest and nuanced portrayal of what student life is really like here would also allow the university to take control a facet of its public image which has already started to gain attention.

The ferocity with which some elements of the national media will latch onto any Oxbridge-related story means that we are under scrutiny; this

will only increase as dialogues within the university gain volume. Many applicants will already have heard vague myths about the difficulties of studying in Cambridge; the failure to correct these myths is disingenuous and does nothing to reduce the impenetrability of the application process.

Moreover, there’s another side to acknowledging the problems within the university: celebrating our attempts to find solutions. If we recognise the prevalence of mental health issues, we can properly praise the University Counselling Service; if we accept that female students are still institutionally disadvantaged, we can point to the stellar work of the Women’s Campaign, to all the hardworking activists who really do care and are fighting to improve the situation here for current and future students.

The passion with which our peers strive for change, from RAG to JCRs to political activism, can be one of the most inspiring parts of life here, and we are doing all involved a disservice if we allow this aspect to go unnoticed, for fear of drawing attention to our university’s problems.

Either we think life in Cambridge is so horrible that all sixth-formers have to be tricked into applying; or we do genuinely believe that the benefits outweigh the difficulties.

In either case, applicants have the right to make an informed decision about their own futures, and we have the duty to give them the information we so often hold back. Cambridge should be showing applicants its true face: warts and all.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Interviews

15

Alun Cochrane: Comedian takes his tour to the Cambridge Junction Julius Haswell Interviews Editor

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how material starts, and I’ve found that in the past five years my material has started off as a text message. I’ll be texting my friend or my wife about something funny and then I’ll suddenly realise ‘oh wait, this could be funny.’

Then I’ll just put it into the notes in my phone because I think ‘oh that’s funny’, and then I just have to make 200 other people think it’s funny.”

Alun was alluded frequently to the difficulties of really making it in the comedy business, and often it seemed as though the good comics got lucky: “Well, some old comics who didn’t make it might say so. I don’t want to risk sounding like a cheesy band saying

lun Cochrane is one of Britain’s most popular comedians. He has performed sell-out shows all over the country, and had an incredibly successful run at the most recent Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I interviewed him to ask what makes him tick, and just how he manages to be quite so funny.

I started off by asking him why he wanted to become a professional comedian. “It started really by watching all of these older comedians on TV. I really admired them and wanted to be just like the guys that could make the grown-ups laugh. It was also when I got older that I realised that at no point in my life had I entertained the possibility of a real job.

“The thing I like in particular about standup is that it has far more elastic deadlines if you know what I mean. I’m often just on the train thinking about material I’ve had for ages, always at my own pace, whereas if I’m writing a TV series I can’t just go ‘oh, I have a bit of working out to do.’ There’s no boss cracking the whip, which is great because I’ve always liked the idea of things being at my own speed.”

I went on to ask him how he develops his material from an idea to a full on comedy show. “People often ask me Alun Cochrane anyone? Me neither.

“I realised that at no point in my life had I entertained the possibility of a real job”

‘it’s not about throwing TVs out of the window, it’s all about the music for us’ but it really is about just being funny a lot of the time.

“If I start thinking ‘I should be on Live at the Apollo, I really deserve it,’ and everyone knows I’m better than some of the comics who have been on the show, then it’s foolish. Instead of worrying about who’s on Live at the Apollo, just worry about getting my own stuff better.”

Over the years Cambridge has been a seed bed for some of the country’s most famous comedians – Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, David Mitchell, just to name a few – so I asked Alun if he had

any advice for any budding comics among our readership: “Well first of all, ignore a lot of the advice you’re given, because there is the possibility you might get some awful advice in show business, which can often ruin careers.

“I find it really helps the longevity of my career if I make myself as unemployable as possible in any other way. With comics not really succeeding in the business, there is usually a very large dropout rate, because they think ‘oh god this is awful I went to Stoke for £30 last week,’ but that negativity can really be overcome with the thought of saying ‘I can’t do anything else.’ So that’s what I would suggest, and it’s certainly where I am.”

Alun’s show (Me Neither) is on at the Cambridge Junction on 4 February.

“It’s a show I did at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, and turned over a lot of material at comedy clubs to get good material. It’s called (Me Neither) partly because I couldn’t think of a title, and partly because when I used to read articles about myself, I saw a scathing review of myself online which started off with: ‘Alun Cochrane (me neither), which has now become a running joke in the family!”

This guy is not to be missed. His naturally quick wit and all-round funny nature is rarely found in the comedy circuit nowadays. He thinks my name is Photo: Bradford Theatres awesome! Get in!

Directing the most famous choir in the world Julius Haswell Interviews Editor

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“Being an organ scholar helps hugely in developing musical ability. I learned a huge amount from Douglas Guest when I was sub-organist at Westminster Abbey, primarily economy of means in my conducting.” This is very evident in his conducting of the choir at King’s.

His style manages to capture the attention of the choir and direct their music, but does not waste energy on unnecessary movement.

I hope that changes in the admissions policy won’t affect the quality of singing

ecognised worldwide as one of the greatest choral conductors around, Stephen Cleobury travels the world giving masterclasses and lessons in conducting and organ playing, alongside his daily commitments with the chapel choir at King’s College. Without doubt he is one of the greatest musical figures of our time. In his very busy schedule, however, he managed to answer some of my questions.

Stephen was an organ scholar at St John’s and so I asked him if he felt like the organ scholarship was ever too much for an undergraduate.

But he believed that if you take on the responsibility then you need to commit to the job: “I think it is right that an organ scholar, particularly at the major choral foundations of St John’s and King’s, should participate in undergraduate life, but he also has additional responsibilities as assistant to the Director of Music and has to learn to manage the implications of this Stephen became Director of Music in 1982 in relation to his peers.

I went on by asking him exactly what kinds of things make up his demanding schedule. “In recent years, like many others, my daily schedule has been considerably modified by the need to answer large numbers of e-mails. I continue to give the highest priority to the musical side of my responsibilities as Director of Music.”

Stephen is very particular about the pieces he chooses for the coming

services in the term, but nowhere is this more apparent than for Christmas. “The most important criterion is to select carols whose texts reflect the readings which they follow. Other considerations involve finding a good blend of old and new, a good variety of pace and key and to try to ensure that the overall sequence of music works as a satisfactory whole.”

Possibly the most famous part of the Nine Lessons and Carols is the angelic voice of a boy chorister singing “Once in Royal David’s City.” The boy who will sing the solo is only known when Stephen points at a boy to sing alone to hundreds of millions around the world.

I asked him when he has decided who will sing the solo: “It varies from year to year. In some years I am undecided until just before 3pm.”

Stephen continues to uphold the highest standard of choral singing in the country in his choir, and he finished with comment on the changing nature of the admissions at the University: “Cambridge University has an enviable international reputation for choral excellence and I hope that changes in the admissions policy won’t end up Photo: Stephen Cleobury compromising this.”

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 16 Time-less: Keeping up with the pace of Cambridge Meggie Fairclough Features Contributor

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ime is relative. I have often heard this said, but I didn’t truly understand what it meant until I came to Cambridge.

Here, the days pass by slowly with busy timetables, lectures and essays seeming to blur mornings into afternoons, and afternoons into nights. And yet, the weeks seem to fly.

With lectures on Saturdays and supervisions on Sundays, my whole weekly cycle has been thrown out of equilibrium, with the concepts of weekend trash TV, pyjama days, or lie-ins replaced with endless work and constant supervisions.

At home, the days seemed to pass by so much quicker, where sometimes it seemed that I hadn’t even woken up before it was time to go back to sleep.

I think this is partly due to routine.

At home, every day was predictable, following the same cyclical pattern.

Every morning I was woken by the low grisly chuckle of a tractor trudging sleepily through the patchwork fields of Derbyshire. The radio’s sharp consonants cut through the valley’s morning clouds, as if to remind me that I wasn’t living in a postcard world devoid of modernity.

Now, I may be woken by the higher pitched giggles of the girls next door, who share stories of the ‘night before’,

Photo: Dulcie Godlove Donovan oblivious to the time (and the thinness of the walls). Alternatively, I may be rudely awoken by the roar of the cleaner’s vacuum, bustling through the corridor and my dreaming. Another time, my alarm wakes me, to get me up and at my first lecture by 9 a.m. With new topics and work being set each day, routine becomes less predictable.

But in the countryside the pace is slower. Grandmothers dressed in bright aprons would spend hours raking lawns and feeding hens. The farmers used to queue for morning papers like their own lowing cows, who lined up to be milked many hours before.

They were simply more patient and in a way, more respectful of time, letting it ebb and flow around them. Perhaps this stillness and calmness of the people is what made days seem to race by.

Yet, in the city, the people seem to be too busy to move slowly, always hurrying around with places to go and people to see, working to the buzzing of their smartphones instead of to the steady heartbeat of the morning and afternoon milking.

This is made clear to me in the rain: in wet Cambridge, where umbrellas flower and people continue to run about frantically, I stick out like a sore thumb, and will stop, wait and watch the rain pour down from under a lamp post or in a shop doorway. Like the cows, I will stand and stare but this only seems to make time trickle instead of pour.

If at dusk, you – as I do – look out of the window, imagine being home.

Wherever that may be, country or city, no doubt you may have experienced a time shift coming to University.

Perhaps life is like an extravagant stage set, positioned behind blinking cars and flashing railway tracks. And as the scenery, people, and routine change, so too does our perception of time.

A day in the life? More like a life in a day Natalie Reeve & László Seress Features Contributors Natalie Reeve Thesp Extraordinaire

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heatre has become the master of my schedule, as the opening night of Picasso Stole the Mona Lisa looms ever nearer.

Character accessories fly in with the morning post, whilst the director and I zoom around the rest of Cambridge, frantically hunting for toy fish and an Edwardian swimming costume. Brunch fuel carries us over lunchtime.

Unusual demands satisfied, an afternoon rehearsal beckons: there are duels to be choreographed, duels which subsequently defy all limitations of the small college conference room forced to contain them. By the time we emerge, dishevelled and manic-eyed, the sky is black and Bridge Street is alight with restaurants. Over innumerable Byron burgers, we debate the mysteries behind the show’s every plot point.

I slink back through college via my

From duelling to theoretical chemistry, Cambridge students tackle their timetables

Pro-tip: leaving your smartphone safely Cambridge is one of my favourite parts on the shore makes for a better day about spending a year here. pigeon-hole; it seems another theatrical all round. parcel has arrived. The contents, 8:00 p.m. Dash back home to change, however, are rather more ominous than 9:30 a.m. After a quick breakfast and then hurry to the boathouse for an expected – it’s not the fake severed shower, bike over to the chemistry erg session with my fellow oarsmen. hand I ordered for the next show’s prop- department. My day job is being a If anyone has noticed I’m probably list, but in fact a much-needed copy of theoretical chemistry graduate student, wearing the same clothes as I was that my next supervision text… which now which I like to think of as an advanced morning for the outing, they are too gives me no excuse not to be reading apprenticeship in becoming Iron Man. polite to comment on the matter. it. At the eleventh hour, it seems, the Tripos has reasserted itself.

12:00 p.m. Lunchtime with fellow 10:00 p.m. After my second shower of postgrads in the department. We’ve the day, I will either read, Skype with László Seress done a pretty good job of exploring the friends back in the States, or catch up Fulbright Scholar restaurants near Lensfield Road, but if on some work. Eventually exhaustion anyone has any suggestions of places catches up with me and I fall asleep, 6:30 a.m. I’m pulled out of a peaceful nearby, please do share - I’m serious. only to wake up to the sounds of slumber by the dulcet tones of my marimba music all over again. iPhone ‘Marimba’ jingle. First priority: 3:00 p.m. Back in the lab to finish off read the Google Calendar daily email the day’s work, but not without stopping to see what’s on my plate, because God for the daily... knows I’d forget something otherwise.

3:30 p.m. Tea break! The quintessential 7:00 a.m. Rowing outing on the Cam. part of my British Experience.

People who have known me since my arrival in Cambridge find it paradoxical 5:30 p.m. Time for rehearsal and choral that I choose to return to the river after eucharist with the Choir of Gonville and falling in while punting during week Caius College. I’ve been singing all my one, but happily, I’ve stayed dry since. life and the opportunity to do it here in

Photo: Don Stewart

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 17 UN & uni: When the future imposes on the present Hayden Banks Features Contributor

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Photo: Elly Humphrey

ife is funny. After acclimatizing relatively smoothly to my home surroundings over the holidays I began to ponder how startlingly quickly everything was rushing by. My first term of Cambridge was over.

It seems like only yesterday that I was agonising over my personal statement and quivering at the prospect of describing a banana at interview. Of course I need not have worried about the latter, but what I wasn’t quite prepared for was the feeling that struck, about mid-way through Michaelmas term, of longing to return to the security and contentment of sixth form and home life. Who knew I would miss it all so dearly? I certainly didn’t.

I have no plan – or to clarify, I had a plan, but studying at Cambridge has illuminated my former naivety and ignorance. But oh how it was bliss: I imagined I would network, graduate, and then seamlessly embark on a future career at the United Nations or work as a diplomat.

That plan was scuppered by week two.

A ‘Working for the UN’ talk denounced my hopes as unrealistic to say the least, because – oh yes – you need to speak a minimum of five languages (not sure that my Welsh or the remnants of highschool French will suffice), preferably have a PhD, and survive the seemingly

The real world isn’t too far away endless aptitude tests and interviews.

Moreover, I am admittedly the least independent person at university (I nearly didn’t get here at all after travelling on an outdated railcard), and even the washing machines had me flummoxed upon arrival. I also find myself questioning how I ever thought I’d manage my finances whilst living and travelling internationally when half of my student loan was spent by the second week on takeaway pizza and midweek trips to Fez.

Photo: Gabriel Davies Nonetheless, I’ve come to the realisation that we can, and should, dare to dream. While it’s true that sixthform was comfortable and risk-free, I have since found it was definitely much more mundane in comparison to the Cambridge life.

Scary though it may seem, I look forward to the day when, after tossing my graduation hat into the air, I realise that I can view university with the same fondness, and long for its security, as I did my sixth-form days as a fresher.

A veteran’s guide to an all-nighter Elsa Maishman Features Editor

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12:30 a.m.

The staircase is silent – a testament to the proportion of Saturday morning lecture-goers that I live with. I attempt to make a cup of tea, but with a jolt, I notice that the expiration date on my milk has now become yesterday.

It smells vaguely of cheese, but the alternative is no tea at all, so I pour it in and hope for the best.

riday night. I am aware that for some people this might mean something special, out of the ordinary. However, I find myself spending yet another evening sat my desk hunched over a computer screen – an activity which consumes so much of my life that it’s as far away from ‘out of the ordinary’ as it is possible to be.

2:00 a.m.

The perfect summer placement has not 8:00 p.m. yet materialised. For a brief moment I I refuse a friend’s invitation to go and get consider doing my ‘use of language’ drunk in another staircase with the rueful homework. but decide instead, for some excuse that ‘I’m working.’ I wish it were reason, that updating my CV will be Always stock up on essentials before the all-nighter begins true. In actual fact I’ve spent the last hour more productive. trawling through the web, searching for the gyp room cupboards, frustrated to the perfect summer placement advertised 4:00 a.m.

I contemplate find them carb-free. No bread, no cake, by friendly non-axe-murderers in which Nearly two hours of wrestling with not even a single crumpet. Distressed, breaking into I can simultaneously become fluent in LibreOffice formatting later, I need more I contemplate breaking into someone’s both French and Spanish whilst gaining tea. And some cornflakes. However, someone’s room through the fire escape just to raid valuable CV-boosting work experience by this time the milk’s pungency has room to raid their fridge. I briefly consider going into and making the world a better place. increased. Maybe I should have put it their fridge the library to see if I could convince Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s not going too back in the fridge after that last cup. anyone still awake to lend me some. well at all.

Not satisfied with dry cornflakes, I raid Probably not.

Photo: Alex Brooks Shuttleworth 5:30 a.m.

As the carb-cravings begin to take over, I am too hungry to sleep. Venturing out of college in search of milk seems unwise, so I sneak down to the gyp room on the floor below. In a shadowy corner, I am overjoyed to find a full, glorious loaf of bread. I pilfer two slices and return to my nocturnal procrastination.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 18 All Experiences Mulled wine and merry song: a strong mix of mixed choirs Matter Alice Chilcott, William Hewstone, Chris Page Columnist

Rose Washbourn, Chase Smith Features Contributors

Newsflash: Your experience isn’t universal

Features explore some of the talented choirs to be found in Cambridge

Recently, the argument has been made: I / we have never had a problem with Welfare in Cambridge and / or we are a very privileged University with pretty buildings and formals, therefore there is obviously nothing wrong. This basically comes down to a belief, on the part of those making it, that their experience is universal. Which is... um… what is it called now? Oh yes: total wank.

We need to get some perspective.

Everything in this University is fragmented. Every college seems to be doing its own thing, and no one seems to be talking about whether any of it is any good. This is most evident in welfare provision. As a student, I had an awful time. You may not have had that experience, and I’m really happy for you. But don’t you dare tell me that my experiences are invalid, or that I made it up.

For more than a year now, the Facebook group ‘Cambridge Speaks Its Mind’ have been publishing testimonies on problems with welfare at Cambridge University. Some of them are horrific: rape survivors have been told that ‘boys will be boys’, students have been evicted from their rooms and forced to go back to abusive homes. But among the testimonies, you get occasional glimmers of hope – people who have been well supported.

These campaigns are not trying to claim that Welfare in Cambridge is awful across the board. CSIM write that many examples of good practices exist, but that there are common problems which students (and the University) need to be made aware of, in order that things can be changed for the better in the future.

The opposition that CSIM and the Whose University? (WU?) campaign face is not just from a deeply traditional University, but from a worrying normalisation of misery by the student body. While attitudes surrounding the Week Five Blues may seem like a bit of joke, they embody an attitude which stigmatises those who are facing difficulties and do want to speak out.

How many of us have felt unable to confide in a friend for fear they will belittle us, since apparently we have so much to be grateful for?

CSIM and WU? are trying to improve a broken system. Some people spend a wonderful three or four years at Cambridge, but others suffer here.

These two realities co-exist. Is that so hard to fathom?

Sidney Sussex Led by Dr. Skinner, Sidney’s is the only Oxbridge choir to sing a Latin Choral Vespers service. This year, they toured around Austria, performing a sell-out concert on the final night, and recording for an Austrian TV documentary. 2015 promises to be exciting, with a premier and recording of Wanhal’s Requiem in London, and a piece commissioned for us by our composer in residence, Eric Whitacre. They are currently planning tours to Rome and the USA, including a performance at Carnegie Hall.

Homerton Homerton’s Charter Choir was founded just four years ago, when the College gained its Royal Charter. The choir has matured rapidly under its Director, Dr Trocmé-Latter, travelling to cathedrals across England. Homerton choir released its first CD, Audite Finem, in 2014. After visiting Norwich and Southwark Cathedrals last year, the choir will

Photo: The Choir of Gonville & Caius College, via Facebook sing in St. Edmundsbury Cathedral and Cambridge’s Great St Mary’s Church, as well as touring Monaco and the south of France.

Corpus Christi Having gone through five Directors in as many years, it’s unsurprising that Corpus Choir has learnt to laugh in the face of adversity. They may be amongst the most light-hearted choirs but they do take their singing seriously.

The past year’s highlights include services at Southwark and Liverpool Cathedrals and a tour to Vienna. The tour was a civilised affair of concerts and services in the Stephansdom, Hofburg Palace, and Schonbrunn Palace. With a new and committed director, they have a great year of singing ahead.

Sidney, Homerton, Corpus & Caius: sampling Cambridge’s mixed choir scene

Gonville & Caius Gonville and Caius Choir is one of Cambridge’s most beautiful, not to mention sociable. Their precentor, Dr. Webber, has built the choir’s reputation on its specialism in reconstructed pieces of music, most recently in the CD In Praise of Saint Columba.

The highlights of last year included tours to Brazil and Hong Kong, a concert in the Royal Albert Hall in collaboration with four other Cambridge choirs, and a concert in London’s St. Marylebone Church to promote the release of their Christmas CD, Dormi Jesu. There is much to be excited about in the coming year as well, with a live broadcast on BBC Radio 3, a concert in the St. Alban’s Festival, another festival, a summer CD recording and a tour to Sardinia.

Student Spotlight: Student Community Action Elsa Maishman Features Editor

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ambridge Student Community Action is a registered charity seeking to help and support disadvantaged children in the Cambridge area. They have more than 70 opportunities to choose from, 10 of which are managed internally by SCA, and cater specifically to the interests of Cambridge students. These internally organised projects include taking vulnerable children to the park, befriending the elderly and teaching English as a second language. The other projects are run by a wide range of external organisations which SCA recruit for.

According to Laura Brown, a student volunteer for SCA, it can sometimes feel hard to fit in the time to volunteer around coursework. However, taking part in the ‘Big Sib’ program is, for her, an opportunity to get out into the ‘real world’ and have a genuinely positive impact on someone else’s life. “I go and visit a 10 year-old girl for about an hour each week. Seeing her face light up whenever I arrive is really rewarding – over my time with her I’ve seen her really grow in confidence.”

Another volunteer, Becky Hart, has spent time helping out at an understaffed homework club in a local school. The

You have more time to volunteer than you think you do!

student volunteers support individual children who struggle with their work, as well as generally overseeing groups of pupils working on particular projects.

“We work with children between the ages of four and eleven, in all class groups, chatting with them and attempting to engage them in their work ... something that is particularly important when we’re with children who are either struggling to focus or complete their task. I personally love volunteering at the homework club because I enjoy developing working relationships with children. I have seen the immediate benefits of our presence to the school in that it enables the headteacher to continue to run the club herself with our help, when

she does not have enough staff to run it regularly otherwise ... a number of the children have parents who do not speak English as their first language. Spelling and grammar is something I feel I can help with in particular.”

Volunteers also listen to children’s worries and help to advise them, where appropriate, on any questions they have.

Hart said that ‘working with SCA has, I feel, kept me sane at times – it takes me out of the intensified stress of college life. I would encourage anyone interested to contact SCA directly or through a college representative as they are extremely friendly and work very hard to place you in a role that you enjoy and feel useful in!”

Volunteers help some children with grammar and spelling

Photo:Barba

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 19 How to succeed at Formal Hall without really trying Amelia Oakley Features Editor

eye contact with everyone in the room – unless you want to succumb to an uncontrollable laughing fit during the ith floating gowns, candlelit chorus of ‘Deo Gracias’. banqueting halls, and silver service, Formal Hall isn’t Play it cool something we’re all used to, A challenging feat to achieve when you or will ever get used to for that matter. are wearing a – let’s face it – completely But after a term at Cambridge, blind ridiculous and oversized garment, which optimism means I now consider myself just wasn’t designed for eating without a seasoned professional and thus a plonking an entire sleeve in your starter. veritable authority on how to succeed Just remember to keep smiling, even at formal without revealing yourself to when the head butler keeps looking be a pan-fried salmon, accompanied by over disapprovingly at your raucous hollandaise sauce, out of water. behaviour – he won’t realise that you’re completely drunk.

Wine Number one wine related tip is simply Break the rules to attend a college where you don’t Formals do, of course, have traditions, have to pay corkage. But if that wasn’t expectations and, most importantly, top of your agenda when making your rules. What would formal be without a bit application, never fear! Head down to of sly pennying to spice up proceedings? the local wine merchants and check Not forgetting of course, the pinnacle of out their student deals, or maybe try to haggle (if you don’t ask, you don’t get).

But most importantly don’t forget the golden rule: Sainsbury’s Basics is for forgetting, not for formal.

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Grace Haven’t got a clue what the Latin means? Don’t worry, nobody does, and quite sincerely, nobody really cares.

Just stand stoically, sing some ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ in your head, and avoid Try eating that with your face

Everybody talks:

pennying – ‘fivepennying’ – and those rare opportunities to dunk your entire face into your dessert, or, even better, to force someone else to. In the words of Sid Vicious, “cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don’t let them take you alive.” Or in this case, don’t let them kick you out during the bread course… not that that’s ever happened to me of course.

Go to formal at other colleges There are many variations of college bingo which can be played, but one of the best is formal bingo. Venture to John’s or Trinity to see what the hype’s about, pop up the hill to one of the modern colleges and dine overlooked by the rather imposing feminist art of Medwards, or if you’re brave enough, take on the challenge of Caius and decide for yourself if the food really is as bad as the survivors say.

Tasnia Begum Columnist Our first minority and ethnic diversity columnist on being teetotal in Cambridge

“Cause as much disruption as possible but don’t let them take you alive”

Photo: Kimberly Vardeman

Awkward encounters: The perils of social interaction Elsa Maishman Features Editor

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ometimes, it seems that my life is comprised of one awkward moment after another. From falling up stairs to walking into bollards, I never seem to attain the smooth, ease with which normal people go about their daily business.

A week ago, my inability to interact with other humans was brought home after a particularly late trip to my College library (I know, it’s an exciting life that I lead).

The story, I should explain, has its roots way back in the pre-application stage of yearning. All I wanted in the world was to get into Cambridge – it became an obsession, which consumed my everyday life. And so I whiled away my days watching video logs (vlogs), made by a second-year computer scientist at Queens’ College who seemed, to my envious eyes, to be the epitome of cool.

The vlogs, which are still ongoing, are weekly diaries in which said Cantabrigian celebrity videos extracts of his day-to-day life at Cambridge.

They were my lifeline to my dream

university and my desperate, ambitious younger self devoured them religiously.

Ever since arriving in Cambridge, I had been half-expecting to catch sight of the internet enigma. Whenever I spotted anyone with brown hair and a camera, I could never resist the temptation to follow the unsuspecting stranger in question around for a few minutes, until I inevitably discovered that it was not, in fact, the vlogger in question.

And so, I was not overly surprised to encounter someone looking uncannily like the cool Compsci as I made my way back to my staircase on that fateful evening. He stopped walking just as I passed him, and I realised that this was no deceptive doppelgänger: he was the real deal. It then ocurrred to me that I had been staring fixedly into a stranger’s eyes for several minutes with no obvious explanation. “Hi” I smiled at him, while the sensible part of my brain squirmed in embarrassment, smothered by star-struck awe. “Oh hey,” he returned – the beginning of a new friendship, I wondered, until his next words: “do you know if there’s a toilet round here?”

I laughed, then realised that that was perhaps not the response he was expecting. “Sorry, I just... it’s so weird

to see you near my staircase!” He smiled awkwardly. “No, I’m not from this College...” He fell silent. I realised that perhaps my staring was making him feel uncomfortable. In hindsight, it would probably have been a good idea to explain the reason behind it. But instead I simply pointed at the toilet door behind me. And then turned around and watched as he backed through it with a last, confused glance in my direction.

the most awkward animal of them all

Photo: Greg Willis

I had been staring fixedly into a stranger’s eyes with no explanation

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reshers’ week is bad enough as it is: uncomfortable family dinners, confusing Cambridge lingo (I am ashamed to say that I initially thought a ‘DoS’ was a curse word) and those awkward instances in conversation when you are hit by a sudden and worrying thought: ‘I definitely don’t know the name of the person I am speaking to!’. To make it all worse, add in the fact that I do not drink any alcohol, due to a combination of religious and personal choices, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

‘But surely no-one at Cambridge would pressure you to drink,’ I hear you cry. No, they don’t; however sitting with a can of Coke whilst everyone else around me has an alcoholic beverage makes me feel like some sort of an invalid. I feel as if my teetotalism becomes the elephant in the room, which people politely ask about at first, but then begin to quietly gloss over as if a taboo subject has been approached.

At first I was thankful that my college did have alcohol-free activities during Freshers’ Week. However they almost always become the ‘dry’ option, both in terms of the absence of alcohol and the level of enthusiasm attached to it – it’s either the ‘Super Awesome Best Pub Crawl of the Century’ or watching Shrek in the TV room. You choose.

It’s not just Freshers’ Week which is tough; in general being teetotal as a student is a challenge, largely because socialising is often, if not always, centred around alcohol. I completely understand that at the end of a stressful week of speed-reading and pretending to know what your supervisor is talking about, the only thing that some students want to do is have a drink.

They are completely entitled to that.

Nevertheless, this drinking culture can isolate those who don’t drink; for someone who has never had to deal with having friends who do drink, bars and pubs can be intimidating places.

Now that I am in my second term at Cambridge, I have managed to find my feet. Nonetheless, at times my teetotalism does still feel like a social barrier. In the future, I would like to see colleges looking into and taking time to plan viable non-alcoholic events.

Rather than having ‘dry’ alternatives, it would be good to have a few normal and yet purposefully alcohol-free activities, so that those who do not drink do not feel as if they’re always choosing the ‘lame’ option.

22 January 2015

the cambridge student

Week in Pictures

Those who were up and about before midday this week were been graced with some views of Cambridge looking frosty and fabulous

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Photo: Alex Shuttleworth

Cartoon by Miranda Gabbot

22 January 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Games & Technology

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Donate thousands of pounds to charity by surfing the web

Virtual handjobs: The ultimate tool for a long-distance relationship?

Rohan Giblin Games and Tech Contributor

Sam Raby Games and Tech Editor

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(yay!) and Action against Hunger.

Alternatively, you could just donate all your hearts to Save the Children.

Hint hint. The extension is aimed at students, something that Cambridge student David Lowis found particularly effective. He says “being a student and writing all these essays, all we do is surf the internet so if we can somehow do that and make some good come out of it, how lovely”. The extension has so far raised just under $100,000, with 90% going directly to the cause you want. All bias aside, it is a really nice and effective idea.

ver wanted to raise money for charity by just opening a tab?

Of course you have! And if you have Google Chrome or Firefox, now is your chance to fulfil that longdesired dream! An extension that I have recently discovered allows you to do just this.

‘Tab for a Cause’ works like this: the extension opens a new tab specially designed by the Tab for a Cause organisation. This page informs you about charitable causes and displays some advertisements. Nothing pops The author is Vice-President of CU’s out at you and it doesn’t affect your branch of ‘Save the Children’. daily internet life in any way, nor does the extension store any data about your searches. Tab for a Cause user Liv Robinson even went as far as describing it as a “seamlessly integrated experience”. The team gains money from advertisements every time you click on a new tab. By opening new tabs, you rack up ‘hearts’ – the Tab for a Cause currency. Using these you can donate to a range of specific charities or causes of your choice. For example, if you choose to donate to health, money goes towards both Save the Children The alternative... Photo: Garry Knight

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You can donate to a range of specific charities/ causes of your choice

I would argue that these (admittedly early) steps are in the right direction.

Our generation, with its connection to Facebook and readily available Skype, has perhaps the best opportunities for keeping in contact over any great distance. It’s already more feasible than ever before to stay in a relationship with an irreplaceable someone, but it’s undeniably still a struggle.

Psychological experiments confirm the fact that a good sex life is integral to a healthy relationship, and distance of course strips this away. Thus, if simulated intimacy can add a way for people to (in a sense) physically connect over distance, and help couples who are right together stay so, I would argue it’s a good thing. It might not be a fully adequate replacement, but it’s still surely better than nothing. Awkwardness to one side, this author would give it a try.

ith their documentary, ‘The Digital Love Industry’, Vice documented a rather interesting new development.

They spoke to the company Kiiroo which unveiled a prototype device comprising of two parts: a model penis and a padded, hollow container. One individual does whatever they please to the model phallus with their hands (and potentially mouth as well one would assume), whilst the other places their penis in the container. As the model penis is stimulated, receptors track the actions of the hand on it and transmit these across the internet to the container, which carries out said actions upon the real penis.

Combined with virtual reality headsets like Oculus Rift, the equipment can indeed provide a highly immersive simulation of physical intimacy, but would we want to use it? ‘It would freak me the f**k out’ commented Emmanuel student Roisin Beck-Taylor, and Caius student Owen Bray raised the point that ‘[sexual acts are] an intimate thing, but here you remove the other person’. As understandable as these concerns are, Work it

Photo: YouTube

Indie games have shown that the days of Goliath are numbered Posey Mehta Games and Tech Contributor

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here has been a watershed moment for public opinion towards Indie games: the release of Journey. On paper, a game which grants the player no capacity to attack, a limited capacity to jump and fly, and the ability to make a ‘cute’ but largely unhelpful chiming noise hardly sounds like a game at all. Yet as you play, familiar gaming tropes start to manifest themselves: altars become akin to checkpoints and, most strikingly, the distant mountain peak is essentially one great big objective marker. It is this duality – between the most comfortingly familiar, simplistic game format, and something so dynamically and artistically striking that it hardly feels like it ought to be called a game at all – that makes Journey so uniquely powerful, and illustrates what Indie games can do best.

Mainstream, or AAA, games carry with them the weight of a billion dollar budget and a 1000 people strong production team, but are as constrained as they are aided by this corporate might. There is very little room in this environment for the individual voice, especially if that voice proposes something which doesn’t

sound immediately commercially successful. It is perhaps for this reason that new ideas from AAA developers have become pretty uncommon: the established formulas of the Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty franchises still make money, so why fix something that ain’t broken?

The few new IPs that do come out stick anxiously close to the formulas of their predecessors: Watch Dogs used the same parkour and map trope that had become so familiar to players of Assassin’s Creed, whilst dumping the player in a world described as “a poor man’s San Andreas”; equally, Bloodborne adapts the artistic style and brutal gameplay that has become so familiar to players of Dark Souls and Demon Souls, even bringing back the same walls of fog.

In an industry where AAA budgets have grown so large that failure simply isn’t an option and “play it safe” seems like the collective motto of all the big game companies, Indie games are finding an increasingly sizeable niche, illustrated by their growing presence on consoles.

Indie games have traditionally enjoyed a greater exposure on PCs thanks to

systems such as Steam’s Greenlight, yet Sony in particular have gone to a huge effort to make their console seem Indiefriendly, even offering to fund any Indie developer who wanted to have a booth at the Tokyo Game Show.

From a cynical perspective, that consoles are going to such lengths to appeal to Indie developers is an acknowledgement of just how much money there is in the Indie game industry.

The future is orange

Yet when I look ahead to the Indie games being released this year – No Man’s Sky, WiLD, The Witness – they all seem to possess a certain, good ol’ fashioned gaming magic that I just don’t see when I look at the majority of the AAA line up. As long as AAA games remain so prosaic and Indie games continue to be so darn innovative, they will continue to gain space and influence in the industry which, for me, can only be a good thing.

Photo: IAm Sp00n via Youtube

Indie games continue to be so darn innovative

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

TV & Film Film night: Burns Night Julia Craggs TV & Film Contributor

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here’s haggis on the menu for formal and the tea in your flask has been replaced with a hot toddy – it must be Burns Night!

Get in the mood and keep your neeps and tatties warm this week with these Scottish offerings that’ll be sure to put the wind up your kilt…

Tyrannosaur (2011)

Photo: Dutch Rainbow Trailers In this acclaimed directorial debut from Paddy Considine, the peerless Peter Mullan shines in a difficult but riveting drama, encapsulating the silent suffering of abuse, loneliness and alcoholism. Not for the faint-hearted – at one point we see a dog decapitated – Cambridge’s own Olivia Colman is nonetheless the sweetness in this black brilliance.

The Wicker Man (1973) Don’t be put off by the terrible Nicolas Cage remake; this mystery-horror original is still grippingly terrifying 40 years later. If you don’t know the ending don’t let anyone spoil it – it remains one of the most horrifying in classic cinema.

Filth (2013)

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22 Awards season: It’s all about the money, money, money Bruno Barton-Singer TV & Film Contributor

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n one level, the validity of awards ceremonies is not to be questioned. Golden Globes, BAFTAs and Oscars accumulate on the posters of this year’s film darlings until you can barely make out Meryl Streep’s face behind the golden ornamentation. Even Supporting Actor or Actress awards add millions to a film’s box office takings.

But the Academy Awards are also famous for their poor choice of winners, to the point where each year sour-faced film-school rejects unite to call out the many times the Academy has snubbed a classic. Examples abound: The Shawshank Redemption, Taxi Driver and Citizen Kane are famous also-rans.

This is hardly fair, though, remembering the films they stood against. Sure, you might prefer the Shawshank Redemption to Forrest Gump, but others would justifiably defend the latter’s victory.

And if Citizen Kane had won an Oscar over How Green is My Valley, deep down its fans would have a lot less fun liking it.

However, the Best Picture winners are sometimes baffling simply in their own right. Crash, Best Picture of 2006,

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> Brooklyn NineNine

Merely worthless souvenirs? which could be subtitled ‘Racism is bad, m’kay?’, would have struggled to lay claim to best picture of the month in a rational universe. And watching Argo you find yourself wondering if the fictional movie-within-a-movie, written in two days as a knock-off of Star Wars, wouldn’t be more original than what you’re seeing on screen.

Amadeus, Braveheart, Titanic…

Again and again the Academy proves it is more enamoured of the gloss that screenwriters layer onto historical events than the human stories that could have been told instead. The Theory of

ometimes it can seem impossible for successful shows to keep their run going, especially a comedy as explosive as Brooklyn Nine-Nine (with two Golden Globes in the bag already) that relies so heavily on its ensemble cast. Yet, somehow, it just keeps getting better.

The episode picks up where the last series left off, with Jake Peralta returning from undercover work in the Mafia. Andy Samberg is as excellent as ever, playing the goofy yet (slightly

Photo: PrayItOn

Best Picture winners are sometimes baffling in their own right

unbelievably) successful detective, but it is actually hard to single out which character makes the show so good.

Unusually for a sitcom, there just isn’t a bad character. From the deadpan Captain Holt (his childhood diary entry of “I am feeling trepidation at the prospect of a parentless existence” was pure gold) to the narcissistic yet irrepressible Gina, the characters are all incredibly unique, and subvert the cliches expected from what could have been a 1970s reboot cop show. It was a shame that Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) had so little screen-

Everything and The Imitation Game, two front-runners this year (after the necessary drop in support for Boyhood when it won a Golden Globe – proof, if needed, that there is a lot more to the judges’ decisions than which film they think is best), do nothing to buck that trend, bringing a perfect blend of shininess, safeness and historical inaccuracy to an award that hardly needs it. Of course, neither of the films are bad.

It’s hard to dislike them. But sometimes you wish the most prestigious award in show business went to a film whose express purpose was not to win one.

time, as her one-liners are often the best in the episodes.

This episode was, however, markedly more sentimental than others in the past, as Jake and Amy have several ‘feelings’ chats; these occasionally jarred against the rest of the fast-paced comedy, and there is a sense that the show is moving towards being more plot heavy; the days of dipping in and out may be limited.

But when it’s this good, would you want to miss any? Overall a welcome return, which sees the show firmly reclaim its title as the perfect comfort TV.

Abigail Smith

Photo: Lionsgate Films UK Available now on Netflix, Detective Sergeant Bruce Robertson (James McAvoy) rips a hilarious drug-fuelled rampage through Edinburgh with sex, violence and ‘the games’.

In spite of its gorgeous jam-packed with British talent, Irvine Welsh’s latest scream falls short of former Trainspotting glory, but compensates with dream sequences, hallucinations and a rain-washed Edinburgh backdrop: a visual feast.

9/10

Jake (Andy Samberg) models the latest in hungover fashion

Photo: FOX

22 January 2015

the cambridge student

Theatre

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Picasso Stole ‘It’s not about the penis’: Beyond nudity in Equus Parker The Mona Lisa Harry Theatre Editor Will Spencer Theatre Reviewer

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e’ve all had those nightmares where you turn up to a party suddenly to discover that you’re stark naked, and that everyone is staring. Or where you’re on stage, in front of hundreds of people, and the clothes that you were sure you had on before you walked on have suddenly disappeared. Unlike Jonah Hauer-King, however, we are lucky to have the comfort of being able to wake up safe in the knowledge that our public nudity was not, and probably never will be, a reality.

Jonah is currently preparing to play Alan Strang in Peter Shaffer’s Equus, a role made infamous by Daniel Radcliffe’s portrayal of the same “I was terrified about it at first, as most people would be” character in 2007. It’s a role which requires full nudity, but both he and last term’s Road and After Miss Julie, director Pete Skidmore are very keen and before that working in theatre and to downplay the importance of it. “It’s film, Jonah is surely one to watch on the just one of those things that you have to Cambridge drama scene. do,” Jonah explains nonchalantly. “I’ve Pete, the director, is keen to move had the time to get my head round it on. “It’s not really a major plot point. and mull it over, but also because I’ve It really helps the show’s visual impact, got to know the play and the character The naked but it’s really not that important. So better. It’s not gratuitous, the nudity; it scene “really yeah, we are trying to move away from makes sense in the context of the play. helps the this idea that it’s all about the horses A lot of people think the reason Alan show’s visual or the violence or the sex, and into gets naked is because he wants to have bringing out the psychological themes, impact, but sex with a horse, which isn’t actually the religious themes, and the themes of it’s not that what happens. ritual and folklore.

“I was terrified about it at first, as most important.”

“What’s most interesting about the people would be. I will feel exposed. play is this clash between early, preBut it only becomes a reality for me Christian society and modern culture. when I do it in rehearsals and then on We’re bringing in the aesthetics of those the night. I’m very lucky to have this paganistic cultures to really highlight amazing role, and so I have to embrace that clash.” everything that comes with that.”

“It makes people feel uneasy when “Lucky” is a characteristic they see these kind of images, which understatement for Jonah, who has had almost parallels what Alan does to plenty of acting experience both in and Dysart [Alan’s psychiatrist]. He plants outside of Cambridge. Appearing in this seed of emotion in Dysart and it

As the opening intertitles make clear, Picasso Stole the Mona Lisa is loosely based on true events. When the Mona Lisa went missing from the Louvre in 1911, poet Guillaume Apollinaire was indicted of having stolen some statuettes, which the corrupt Joseph Géry had pilfered and, purportedly, displayed on Apollinaire’s mantelpiece. Under police pressure, Apollinaire implicated his friend, Pablo Picasso, in the theft.

In this farce, written by Jamie Fenton and directed by Rhiannon Shaw, it is the Mona Lisa which Apollinaire and Picasso discover in the former’s apartment.

From the outset, contextual comedy is to the fore, jibes about art abounding. The script is consistently funny and clever in equal measure, and it is hard to resist the notion that Fenton, rather than the protagonists, is the true star of the show.

It is the cutting dialogue which makes the relationship between Apollinaire and Picasso so watchable, when it might otherwise descend into crassness.

Yaseen Kader’s portrayal of Picasso is in particular danger of crossing this boundary. Kader has what should be some of the strongest lines in the play, but many of them are delivered with a lack of nuance, and fall flatter than they should.

Haydn Jenkins is more often compelling as Apollinaire. He plays his timorous, somewhat pathetic character with an air of emasculated fragility.

In the physical aspects of their performances, however, both Kader and Jenkins succeed. Their naturally languorous dispositions have the wonderfully unsettling effect of making them look like caricatures, while the moments at which the romance between the two almost spills over onto the stage are especially funny.

Colin Rothwell’s turn as lumbering policeman Claude is the best. His often ridiculous, lumbering demeanour Hesham Mashhour ensures that the comic potential of his Theatre Reviewer French accent is fulfilled.

The respective roles of Elinor Lipman and Will Dalrymple as Madame and Monsieur Olivier are less defined.

Dalrymple is particularly absurd, his flamboyant, slightly camp turn as Olivier juxtaposed with moments at which he runs on stage in the guise of various authors like F. Scott Fitzgerald, before promptly disappearing.

Ultimately, inventiveness is the play’s principal appeal. That the acting, with the exceptions of Rothwell and Reeve, never quite does justice to the script is mostly not the consequence of poor performances, but testament to the Rose Reade as Tessa excellence of the writing.

Review: LEAN

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he underrepresentation of male anorexia on stage is perhaps no coincidence. The topic almost always proves too difficult for a thorough portrayal. LEAN, however, gives audiences a brilliant yet truly terrifying performance where it is hard not to remain moved.

LEAN’s real power lies in its emotional baggage. Set around a kitchen table, Michael’s (Gabriel Cagan) illness and challenges become apparent by his constant surroundings. Tessa (Rose Reade) returns to save him after a painful divorce and promises not to eat unless he himself eats. The narrative begins to unfold. We later discover from a wasting Tessa that a child was involved, one that “was not four yet.”

Photo: Atri Banjeree It was Michael’s neglect that had killed

Photo: Daniel Karaj starts to germinate and that’s what we wanted to do with the audience.”

I wonder what Jonah considers to be the biggest challenge in playing Alan. “I think probably it’s making sure that the audience have a sense of compassion for him. He is clearly disturbed, and yet I don’t think the play will necessarily work unless the audience have some sense of sympathy. Which is difficult because he is, in many ways, not very likeable. But I’m hoping that the audience will question how much they do actually sympathise.”

Pete and Jonah have some genuinely insightful things to say about the play, and the considered manner in which they talk convinces me that Equus will be a stunning production. And yet, as sad a reflection on our culture as it may be, I still can’t escape the feeling that the biggest draw for the audience won’t be the play’s exploration of psychology.

Rather, for now and probably always, the appeal of Equus lies in that scene.

him. Unknowingly, by moving back, Tessa creates room for reconciliation as the couple remedy their differences through their grief for Jack and through their starvation.

It is clear that Tessa and Michael still have a romantic attraction.

This connection becomes clear as they slowly undress throughout the performance. We are never quite sure whether their romantic attraction is enough to overcome Michael’s eating disorder, but this only adds suspense to an already strong performance.

As someone who has suffered from multiple eating disorders I was deeply touched by LEAN. If you choose to attend though, this will be one of the most powerful performances you will see during your time at Cambridge.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Music 24 Review: Howard Shelley conducts Dvorak and Brahms at King’s Shounok Chatterjee & Benedict Kearns Music Contributors

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aturday night saw the renowned Howard Shelley conduct works

by Dvorak and Brahms in King’s College Chapel. Two contributors give us their impressions of the night. Shounok Chatterjee had this to say: “The sombre notes of the final plea ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord … for they will rest from their labour, for their deeds will follow them’ settles across the haunting silhouettes of King’s College Chapel ominously, followed by an uneasy silence, quiet and contemplative as if we are all woken from a deep and entrancing thought. And then applause, giving conductor Howard Shelley time to take a number of bows and recognise the magisterial combined force of the Cambridge University Chamber Orchestra, Members of CUMS Symphony Orchestra as well as the choirs of Clare, Gonville & Caius, Jesus and Selwyn colleges, members of the CUMS Chorus and Cambridge University Chamber Choir.

Howard Shelley has won critical acclaim as a pianist with definitive recordings of Rachmaninoff’s piano works, as well as recognition as

a conductor through a celebrated association with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. The virtuoso succeeded in obtaining an intoxicatingly full sound from the choir that suffuses the high vaulted space of the chapel completely.

The two soloists, both former cantabs, gave stirring performances.

Elinor Rolfe Jonson, the soprano, has a pleasing treacly voice. Jonathan Sells, the baritone, has a sonorous voice that gives clear articulation to the painful request ‘Lord, let me know mine end.’

I remain unconvinced about Shelley’s interpretation of Dvorak’s Symphony No. 8. A conspicuously positioned chorister shared my ambivalence about the Dvorak and yawned twice in the third movement. While it was hardly soporific, the intensely expressive first movement in G minor lacked the movement of an allegro con brio.

The trip up into the wrong beat that is meant to bring the symphony to a breathless close was never quite realised and was more like an awkward add on that made for an uncertain and ultimately unsatisfying conclusion.”

Benedict Kearns gave us his take on the night: “This concert had huge amounts of promise, with a demanding and rewarding programme; it mostly delivered. The concert began with verve in Dvorak’s Symphony No. 8.

The opening cello melody resonated gloriously in the beautiful acoustic of King’s College Chapel and despite the space being infamously difficult, Howard Shelley made fast tempi work admirably well throughout this concert. There was something slightly lacking in the Dvorak, even Shelley’s upbeat speeds could not quite hide the occasional in the long spanning phrases.

A work of epic proportions had a chorus to match; the college choirs filled the width of the Chapel and were a force to be reckoned with. Call me cynical,

but I go to concerts with choruses and invariably expect the orchestra to be too loud, the chorus to look miserable as sin and words to be inaudible. Wonderfully refreshingly, this was not the case. Tim Brown’s (chorus master) monumental round of applause was thoroughly deserved; every word was clear and they sang with passion and vibrancy.

The concert was well delivered and Shelley dealt spectacularly with the acoustic, maximising it for its softfocus, whilst allowing the smallest details to come through.”

Who says Henry VIII was overcompensating...

The monumental round of applause was thoroughly deserved

Photo: Paul Hudson

Forget ‘Uptown Funk’; here are four fantastic funk tunes Miriam Shovel Music Editor

and glorious history, instead assuming that Ronson and Mars invented a new genre. So here are four funk tunes for o one can deny that ‘Uptown an alternative fix.

Funk’ is unequivocally a great tune. Indeed, it seems ‘Higher Ground’ – Stevie Wonder that ‘Uptown Funk’ fever Stevie Wonder is a great place to start if has seized Cambridge. As the song you’re looking to fuel your funky fever. maintains its slot at number one in the With a solid background as a trailblazer UK charts for the fifth week in a row, of Motown, Wonder’s ability to create I’m hearing it everywhere: blaring in catchy rhythms and memorable hooks Lola’s, hummed under a Chaplain’s is second to none. ‘Higher Ground’ is breath, playing from a phone in the a great example of this – Wonder wrote JCR. As a funk fanatic, I’m all for this the song from scratch and recorded it fabulous state of affairs. However, all within the space of three hours, but many of my Cambridge contemporaries listening to its polished production, seem completely unaware of funk’s long you’d never guess. The song features

on the 1973 album Innervisions (which, by the way, is full of funky songs if one Wonder-ful tune isn’t enough).

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Stevie Wonder gets funky

Photo: clared23

Infectious horn riffs, throbbing basslines, and a serious groove

‘Cut The Cake’ – Average White Band But funk is not just the preserve of America – the UK also has its fair share of funk talent. Average White Band (or AWB, if you want to sound like you’re a true funk fan) are a brilliant example.

This Scottish group repeatedly topped the charts in the 1970s due to their infectious disco-funk sound. From their 1975 album of the same name, ‘Cut The Cake’ track encapsulates what AWB do best: infectious horn riffs, throbbing basslines and serious groove. On top of all that, the lyrics are brimming with hilarious cake-related innuendo, for example “cut the cake, give me a little piece, let me lick up the cream”.

Mmmm funky.

‘Cold Sweat’ – James Brown It wouldn’t be right to make a list of funk tunes without including a song by James Brown. As well as being wellknown as ‘the Godfather of Soul’, Brown is also, without doubt, one of the founding fathers of funk. ‘Cold Sweat’ marks his transition from old-school

Mark Ronson Photo: Su--May R&B to funk, and is arguably the first funk song that he wrote. Brown’s vocal energy and a brilliant saxophone solo make this tune for me. I’m just surprised that it’s not more widely known.

‘Chameleon’ – Herbie Hancock For a truly immersive funk experience, nothing beats this classic tune from one of the best pianists of the last century.

With the full version (found on the 1973 album Head Hunters) running for over 15 minutes, you can let the groove soak into your bones and wiggle to your heart’s content. However, a warning for the wise: if you thought ‘Uptown Funk’ was catchy, you may need to seek medical help to remove the ‘Chameleon’ earworm once you’ve let it in. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Books 25 Cambridge’s contemporary poetry scene thrives Imogen Cassels Books Contributor

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arely a fortnight into 2015, two of the most important poetry prizes have been awarded. At the heart of this national poetry scene is Cambridge, where literature is, as always, thriving.

January awarded the Costa Poetry Prize to English teacher Jonathan Edwards. On the judging panel was Cambridge alumna Charlotte Runcie, who authored the sublime collection seventeen horse skeletons, Edwards’s debut collection, My Family and Other Superheroes, has been described as documenting “a post-industrial Valleys upbringing re-imagined through the prism of pop-culture and surrealism”.

Also in competition was ‘Next Generation Poet’ Kei Miller with The Cartographer Tries to Map a Way to Zion. After he gave a reading of his work at Heffers last term, I was overcome by my enthusiasm as I gushed that his was “one of the best readings I’ve ever heard”.

The T. S. Eliot prize is perhaps the most prestigious award for poetry

Mediaeval witch burnings, rats, stars and blood ooze from Harsent’s pages

written in the English language. After stacking up numerous nominations for other poetry prizes, David Harsent was finally triumphant with his eleventh collection Fire Songs. Mediaeval witch burnings, rats, stars, and blood ooze from Harsent’s pages. The poems centre on Anne Askew, the only woman known to have been both tortured in the Tower of London and burnt at the stake.

Her presence imbues the collection with a dark energy which resonates long after reading. Judge Helen Dunmore described Harsent’s writing as being “for dark and dangerous days”, full of “technical brilliance and prophetic power”.

We are blessed to have a vast array of poetry events right here in Cambridge.

Saturday 17 January saw a phenomenal reading at the English Faculty. Featured was Peter Hughes, whose reading from his interpretive translations of Petrarch’s sonnets (one of which begins “if love or death don’t fuck it up”) proved that contemporary poetry is as keen to reach into the past as the future.

Magdalene Literature Festival is running ‘The Sound of English

Poetry: A Symposium’ on 31 January.

It promises to be a thought provoking event on the relation between sound and poetic effects. Host of BBC Radio 4’s Poetry Please Roger McGough is amongst the speakers.

Paul Muldoon, who is the emeritus Professor of Poetry at Oxford and a recipient of the T. S. Eliot and Pulitzer prizes, will be speaking throughout January about ‘The Second Coming’ author W. B. Yeats and the afterlife.

In addition to these talks at the Mill Lane Lecture Rooms, Muldoon will be delivering a poetry reading in Trinity College, Cambridge, on 21 January.

Described by the Times Literary Supplement as “the most significant English-language poet born since the Second World War”, the chance to hear Muldoon speak is too good to be missed.

These rich and diverse events, alongside the fortnightly Sunday speakeasies at the ADC and college based poetry societies, offer outlets for the poetry enthusiast of every inclination. Cambridge really is the place of poetry in the here T. S. Eliot, the father of modern poetry and now.

Photo: Lady Ottoline Morrell

Out of the bubble, into the wallpaper Charlotte Petter Books Contributor Alice Mottram Books Editor

4.’The Unknown Unknown’ Mark Forsyth

1. ‘Brideshead Revisited’ Evelyn Waugh Surely the most beautiful and tragic of novels. Its opening pages are infused with such gluttonous nostalgia for the ‘city of aquatint’, my heart aches.

Waugh was writing of Oxford, but to me Cambridge holds that same charm.

I may not carry a teddy bear under my arm, or recite passages from ‘The Waste Land’ from my window, but I can dream.

Only 23 pages long, this is a delightful pocket essay on the wonders of bookshops. Forsyth’s discussion of the “things we do not know we don’t know” (Donald Rumsfeld) is charming. This little truth is of great consolation when I enter the monument to knowledge that is the University Library and am confronted by its volumes of learning.

You need not know it all, but know that.

Photo: Isobel Laidler

2. ‘A Single Man’ Christopher Isherwood

3. Leaves of Grass Walt Whitman

It is rare that a character speaks to me as George Falconer does – specifically Colin Firth in Tom Ford’s adaptation.

His interior monologues are as indulgent as melted chocolate, and as melancholic as whisky. He gives a voice to my own stifled sadness, as I reassure myself with his affirmative words that “waking up begins with saying am and now.”

Walt Whitman was a poet, gay liberation pioneer and beard connoisseur. His poetry is at once majestic and trifling, spanning the “breadth of the universe” and a single “spear of summer grass.”

‘Song of Myself’, the centrepiece to Leaves of Grass, has become my mantra, as I too “sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world”.

5. ‘A Room of One’s Own ‘ Virginia Woolf As I was revising this list, I realised that the works I had chosen were all written by men. I might not have asked why had it not been for Virginia Woolf’s polemic.

Based on lectures given at Girton and Newnham in 1928, the opening critique of privilege in the University and society is still relevant today. As witty and engaging as it is political, it should have a place on every bookshelf.

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lummetting into psychosis, The Yellow Wallpaper is a far cry from light entertainment. At a slim 6,000 words, however, this classic is scarcely twice the length of a weekly essay.

Finding time to breathe, let alone read, can be a struggle during term, but even the busiest bee could devour Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s novella in days, if not one sitting.

You may even relate to the narrator’s feelings of insanity and confinement, her barred room like the inescapable Cambridge bubble.

The novella’s discussion of mental health makes it acts as a grounding force during times of immeasurable stress, numerous essay crises or some hideous mathematical equation, giving a helpful sense of perspective on your distress. And crucially, it is a reminder to look after one’s mental and physical well-being.

We are inundated with this issue in week five, but ‘Week Five Blues’ are not restricted to this single week. Anybody can suffer, at any time. Cambridge is stressful, so get out of the bubble and into the pages of The Yellow Wallpaper.

Finding time to breathe, let alone read, can be a struggle during term

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Fashion

26 Good morning, beautiful

Knees out, lads: The kilt as formal wear alternative Christopher Simpson Fashion Contributor

Julia Craggs Fashion Contributor

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ow, I love my dinner jacket, but sartorially speaking, it is something of a straightjacket: dinner suits come in very few varieties and are constrained by many rules as to how they should be worn.

That’s why, in spite of the traditional elegance of the dinner suit, I’m obsessed with the kilt.

The kilt comes with endless freedom from the strictures of traditional black tie (and not just the freedom you’re thinking of...). The kilt means choice.

Even once you’ve picked your tartan there are multitudinous varieties: do you pick the glitzy Bonnie Prince Charlie Jacket adorned with 18 silver buttons? Or maybe you’re going to go retro and pull out the Jacobean shirt, throwing the rules of black tie in the bin and turning up looking like a dashing William Wallace. What about ties?

Tartan? Bow tie? Colourful ruched cravat? Who knows? Who cares? They can never take your (fashion) freedom.

On top of this, there is the shiny stuff. Men often don’t get to show off at this kind of event. Not for us the elegant necklace, nor the arms that are braceleted and white and bare. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you can get away with

Counting down... Photos:Julia Craggs The kilt brings all the lassies to the yard

Photo: Mackenzie Paton

a fancy watch or a nice pair of cufflinks – go too far and you will be judged. The kilt is free from this. A standard outfit will have many shiny buttons on your jacket, a silver pin holding the front of the kilt down, a huge belt buckle (clan crested, of course), a slightly menacing, but nonetheless pretty, knife sticking out from the socks and, of course, the sporran. The man bag to end all man bags, the sporran epitomises the slightly crazed fashion choice that the kilt is and is sure to be a talking point, if perhaps useful for nothing else.

This piece is not concerned by the fact that a kilt is similar to a skirt. Though if you want a clear example of breaking free from restrictive formal wear rules, men flashing a bit of knee must be on this list.

The kilt is, ultimately, just a bit more fun. Less constrained than normal formal wear, it provides an easy way of expressing personal fashion choices within a dress code not exactly known for personal flair. That’s why I’m wearing it to as many formals as I can, and it’s why anyone who can, should.

They can never take your (fashion) freedom

Mirror, mirror on the wall: Do we dress for ourselves?

Abby Hayes Fashion Contributor

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hen I got dressed this morning, I decided to top my look off with a cape, as you do. And not just any cape: a vintage mohair cape. It may leave me with an itchy neck and chilly arms, and I may have spent more on dry cleaning to remove the musty smell than I did on the item itself, but I love it. Wearing the cape makes me feel like a strange bohemian superhero, fighting crimes with flower power.

Perhaps, though, I choose to wear this cape not simply because of the feeling it gives me, but because of the perception it creates in others’ minds. Are outfit choices really motivated by a personal fondness for a particular look, or are we just carefully curating our image, picking items of clothing because of what we think they imply? Maybe the cape suggests the bohemian air I – in my conformist, consumerist lifestyle – could never achieve naturally.

Inevitably, we judge on appearance first, and so it’s no surprise that our clothing choices can shape society’s perceptions of us. Whether we respond

Wearing the cape makes me feel like a strange bohemian superhero

Is what we see what we get? to such judgements consciously or not, it’s difficult to deny this subtle but pervasive influence guiding our dress sense. So why bother pretending this isn’t the case? Yes, we may be yielding to social norms, but ‘looking the part’ can lead to ‘feeling the part’, so by dressing for others (e.g. in the context of a job interview), we’re benefiting ourselves, too. Plus, it can be good fun:

Photo: Pets Advisor as a woman, the concept of ‘dressing to impress’ is often an arduous battle fraught with indecision, despair, and, if you’re really unlucky like me, having to be cut out of a dress in the middle of Zara, but it’s worth it when you can strut into a room with a Beyoncé-esque ‘I woke up like this’ aura. So, even if you’re dressing for the attention of others, the pleasure’s all yours.

Hitting the snooze button 12 times in a morning is all very well, but when you finally drag your eyes open and see you only have half an hour to get to your 9 a.m., there’s barely time to think, let alone put on make-up. This five-minute fuss-free tutorial helps you to look awake, even if you don’t feel it – and all on a student budget.

Five minutes: Out with the traditional time-waste of moisturising, waiting for it to sink in, then applying foundation.

Use a BB cream such as L’Oreal’s Nude Magique BB Cream (£9.99) in place of both, and you might have to waste a minute admiring your barely-there but magically beautified glow. Aim for light, even coverage.

Three and a half minutes: If you like, build up a little extra coverage with concealer. Try Rimmel’s Wake Me Up wand (£5.49), which brightens as well as concealing – dab a little under the eyes, and on any blemishes, and quickly blend with a finger (no time to waste cleaning your brushes here!)

Two minutes: A good cream blush is a lifesaver, as it blends quickly over the apples of the cheeks, and can be doubled-up to put some colour into the lips. MaxFactor’s Miracle Touch Blush pot (£6.99) looks small, but lasts ages – just a fingertip’s worth is needed, as colour can always be built up. If you like a matte finish, you can sweep over a light powder – the Stay Matte range from Rimmel (£2.99) may look cheap, but does the job just as well as many more expensive brands.

One minute: Mascara – it has to be Maybelline. The Falsies, Colossal and Rocket Volum ranges are reasonably priced (£6.99–7.99) and just a 30-second swipe will open up your eyes and persuade the lecturer that you are actually awake.

Congratulations! With the five-minute make-up mastered, you’ll never be late for another lecture again. Or at least, that’s the idea...

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Food and drink

27

Review: Hot Numbers Georgina Wong Food & Drink Contributor

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ambridge’s small independent coffee shop scene, although burgeoning, has always had the problem of being a little limited. Since December, Simon Fraser has successfully attempted to change this with the recent expansion of his popular Hot Numbers venture.

The coffee shop has been a thriving establishment since its birth on Gwydir Street in 2012, serving up coffee made from home-roasted beans by day, and jazz gigs by night. However, the chilly walk across Parkers’ Piece is less than tempting at this time of year, so when a second branch on Trumpington Street opened its doors opposite the Fitzwilliam Museum at the end of Michelmas, the numbers flocked and have since been streaming through the little red door.

Hot Numbers fulfils all the criteria required of the independent coffee shop: the simplistic and rustic interior consists of a mishmash of wooden sharing tables, making it the prime location for a sociable catch up; alternatively, solo coffee drinkers can perch on cushions by the window overlooking Scroope Terrace, surrounded by scattered newspapers and the retro record player

in the corner. Students are welcome to come armed with laptops and make use Drinkers are of the free Wi-Fi – and come they do.

The Mill Road establishment has surrounded always prided itself on the use of by scattered home-roasted Arabica beans, perfected newspapers in small batches at the Hot Numbers and the retro Roastery, and the Trumpington Street venture is no different. Hot Numbers’ record player website claims: “We roast to a medium degree, favouring a balanced acidity whilst retaining the aromas and sweetness often lost in darker roasts.”

My flat white had subtle, nutty flavours that struck the perfect balance between bitter and sweet.

The selection of food is just as inviting, and supplied by local bakeries, such as Chelsea buns from Fitzbillies and cakes baked by Afternoon Tease; the pecan shortbread slice had a deliciously crumbly texture and toffee flavours, and the gluten-free option, an almond berry cake, was moist and tasty. At lunchtime, a selection of toasted panini is also available, and there are various breakfast options too: homemade granola, porridge with fresh fruit and Hot Numbers’ version of the bacon butty.

The staff are friendly and quick to recognise their regular customers.

Their skill with coffee also knows no bounds, to the point that if you are hashtagnofilter

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to clothing and toy elephants, and afterwards live music acts will feature at Fitz bar.

Afrinspire and CamEAS have come together for this special formal, to raise funds for two promising grassroots projects they are supporting.

Afrinspire aims to support sustainable development, by forming relationships with community leaders in Africa to support the indigenous development initiatives across East Africa.

CamEAS is raising money for Children in Freedom, an NGO based

he East Africa Charity Formal, coming up at Fitz on Friday 6 February, is a date for everyone’s diary. Cambridge East African Society and Afrinspire have organised an evening of African food, live music and even a raffle to support local-run projects in Kenya and South Sudan.

The menu has been specially created by the wonderful catering team at Fitz, to produce an East African-inspired feast. For starters, there is a choice of boulettes de poisson (fried fish in tomato sauce) or for vegetarians, corn fritters in a spicy tomato sauce. These will be followed by poulet yassa with ugali and Sukuma wiki (lemon chicken with cornmeal and greens) or Yataklete kilkil with ugali and Sukuma wiki (gingered vegetable stew with cornmeal and greens). Finally, make sure you leave some room for a dessert of gateau ananas (pineapple cake).

But this sumptuous feast is not the only attraction of the evening. The raffle will feature beautiful handmade African products from jewellery Poulet yassa with ugali – on the menu

Imogen Coulson Food & Drink Columnist

Hot Numbers, Units 5/6 Dales Brewery, Ingredients: Gwydir Street For the cake: Hot Numbers, No. 4 Trumpington Street 400g plain flour (‘00’ grade is best) 200g golden caster sugar 100g light muscavado sugar 50g cocoa powder 2tsp baking powder 1tsp bicarbonate of soda A pinch of salt 3 medium eggs, beaten 140ml natural yoghurt 1tsp vanilla

extract 175g unsalted butter, melted and cooled 125ml sunflower oil 300ml cold water For the frosting: 175g dark chocolate 250g unsalted butter, softened 150g icing sugar, sifted 1tsp vanilla extract Magic stars for decoration.

Instructions: 1. Preheat oven to 180°c/Gas Mark 4.

Grease two 20cm cake tins. Sieve the flour, sugars, cocoa, rising agents and salt into a mixing bowl. Add the sour Photo: Georgina Wong cream and vanilla to the eggs in a small bowl, and in another whisk together the melted butter, oil and chilled water.

2. Fold half the egg mixture and half the fats to the dry ingredients. When incorporated add the rest of the liquid ingredients and fold in until combined. in Kenya. It was established by a Pour into the tins and bake in preheated former CamEAS member and sponsors oven for around 50 minutes, until they children through school, but their are springy or a skewer comes out clean. long-term goal is to give adults the 3. Cool in the tins for around 10 minutes opportunity to mentor children from or until cool enough to touch, then turn their former schools. out to cool completely. Slice off the With tickets at just £13 for Fitz domed top of the cake. students and £16.15 for guests, this The catering 4. For the frosting, melt the chocolate formal is certainly not one to miss. So if team at Fitz and allow to cool. In a large bowl, beat you fancy enjoying a fantastic evening the butter until as light and fluffy as of food, drink and live entertainment, have created possible and sieve in the icing sugar. whilst also supporting two fantastic a wonderful Finally, add the chocolate (making sure causes, then check out the Facebook Africanevent for more details. inspired feast it is cool so as not to melt the butter).

5. Place one cake on a plate, with strips of baking parchment around the edge (this way the plate won’t end up covered in frosting and you’ll have a clean line).

6. Sandwich the middle with roughly a quarter of the icing. Place the second sponge on top and cover with icing.

Using a straight-edged knife spread over the whole cake, using about half of the remaining icing, then place in the fridge for at least 30 minutes. This is called a crumb coat; it prevents crumbs being caught in the final layer of frosting.

7. When cooled, decorate with the rest of the icing and magic stars and finally, pull out the baking parchment strip Photo: American Lady via Flickr from the bottom of the cake.

Coming up: Fitz East Africa charity formal Lily Rice Food & Drink Contributor

lucky, the latte art comes in the form of a smiling panda face. And best of all, it’s still relatively cheap considering the fantastic quality and great surroundings, making you question why you ever went to Starbucks.

Getting baked: Magic star mystery tour

on: an

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Lifestyle 29

The long walk from Homerton to Sidgewick

Photo: Ryan Vaarsi

These feet were made for walking Natalia Rye-Carriegas Lifestyle Contributor

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ou walk to lectures? Yes, I do.

Just like many of us walk to Life every Sunday, and walk back with our cheesy chips.

The ‘do I or do I not’ conundrum surrounding owning a bicycle is an issue faced by many incoming firstyears and indeed by the rest of the student population. Many people believe that living in Cambridge equates to never walking anywhere, but is it really possible that some people don’t own this wondrous twowheeled contraption? You may wonder why anyone would ever walk anywhere

when it’s so much quicker to cycle, but there is a method in the madness.

You say it only costs £50–100 to get a decent second-hand bike, but that’s your alcohol budget gone for a good fortnight… And don’t forget all the added extras: a D-lock and those all-important lights suddenly hike up the investment. Oh, and maintenance costs, too. While the select few may be blessed with skills to match those of a mechanic, your average Cambridge student is not.

I mean, how long does it really take to walk from Caius or Pembroke to the Sidgwick Site or the Downing Site? Ten minutes max. On a bike? Potentially just as long, especially in the mornings

when the roads and pavements are so jammed full of buses, cars, and pedestrians anyway that getting the bike out is almost a waste of time.

Add in misguided freshers and you may end up arriving at Addenbrooke’s A&E before you do West Cambridge.

Oh, and don’t forget all the faff before and after, fiddling with locks and lights and helmets. Mary Nower knows this all too well: “unadulterated terror was my prevailing emotion as I hurtled down Regent Street, clinging, whiteknuckled to the handlebars, paralysed with fright, yet still finding time to glare at pedestrians doing all the things I do as a pedestrian, but which are utterly unacceptable to do when I’m the one on two (incredibly unsteady) wheels.”

Cycling in the dark, wet and cold is also an issue. Why arrive to supervisions dripping wet and shivering when you could walk in still warm and dry and, more importantly, in a good mood, ready to face whatever your supervisor throws at you?

One must consider the oft-forgotten hill colleges: Churchill, Fitz, Murray Edwards and Girton. Owning a bike for them is not a lifestyle choice, but a necessity. It is established by Week One of Michaelmas Term that a bicycle is the best investment that they will ever make. Ever.

But, ultimatey, though I appreciate that bikes are a necessity for some, more often than not they are a hindrance to our time and safety.

Instacam Jessy Ahluwalia Lifestyle Editor This week’s Instacam features your awesome snaps of things you’ve been reunited with since being back in Cambridge! We’ve got the awesome TCS, beautiful bridges, brunch and the Fitzwilliam.

Is it really possible that there are people who don’t own this wondrous contraption?

Photo: Jack May

An arty attraction: The Fitzwilliam Museum Sarah Maclean Lifestyle Columnist

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ettling into Lent term after a Christmas at home can take a bit of time, but I find that when trying to get reacquainted with Cambridge, it helps to revisit old haunts.

It’s the second day of Lent term and I already need to escape the walls of Girton; so without an actual purpose in mind, I make the journey into town, ending up at the Fitzwilliam Museum.

Image: Anna Rowan

As somewhere in Cambridge you have probably visited at least once – or at least meant to – the Fitzwilliam Museum is considered a main Cambridge ‘attraction’ (meaning it’s kind of a BNOC, and you should probably go check it out soon).

When I first came to university, I loved spending hours wandering the galleries; yet I suddenly realise I actually haven’t visited one in about a year, which is a shocking thought for somebody who professes to be so interested in art. Sometimes other commitments, coupled with the pace of our terms here, means that small visits to places such as art galleries can be deemed unnecessary, when in fact they can provide that well-needed break from the week’s essay / deadlines.

That’s what the Fitzwilliam Museum offers other than fantastic art: peace and quiet (if avoided at weekends).

The sheer size of the museum gives the impression it is not part of the infamous ‘Cambridge Bubble’ that can feel so confined. The immense, open spaces within help with thinking; you don’t even have to be into art to go there for a bit of space, maybe a coffee.

Yet if you are into art perhaps a visit to the museum is in order, to explore the galleries. From paintings of the Italian Renaissance and the Impressionists, to artefacts from the ancient world, there is something for every taste. Latest exhibitions include the extremely popular Silent Partners, and 1914: War and Money. It is well worth a visit.

But as a keen sketcher myself, a public space such as the Fitzwilliam Museum gives an immediate and everchanging subject to draw: observing life here brings endless amounts of inspiration. Having felt uninspired with regards to my own art of late, returning to places such as art galleries and museums is so great. So, on this revisit I sit, I sketch, and I eventually lose track of time; realising I have been drawing for three hours, and that I have also forgotten about an essay deadline…

I will leave you with a quote from Claude Monet: “Every day I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.”

Next week’s theme is: the nicest part of your college. Send us some original places that you think are underrated – we’d love to see them!

Photo: Jessy Ahluwalia

The sheer size of the museum gives the impression it is not part of the infamous ‘Cambridge Bubble’

Photo: Kate Aspray

Photo: Sarah Maclean To see your snaps featured, tweet @TCSNewspaper or email lifestyle@tcs.cam.ac.uk

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport 30 #ThisGirlCan... Women can’t?

City’s loss is Chelsea’s gain

Morwenna Jones Sport Contributor

Paul Hyland Sport Contributor

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with its frequent clips, that resemble the formats of notoriously objectifying music videos created for the male gaze, appears to have forgotten. #ThisGirlCan has the potential to drive through the message that sport is empowering and life-affirming, and it does do this in some of the campaign’s other videos, like the story of single mum Kelly. For them, exercise isn’t just a way to make themselves feel sexy, so it’s a shame that this is the message the campaign’s main video sends.

Sport England’s aim is to help ‘people and communities across the UK build sporting habits for life’ and #ThisGirlCan is undoubtedly an important step towards this goal. But if Sport England really want to score, they need to re-think their definition of what empowers not just English women but the English people.

At least we’ve finally realized that it definitely is the taking part that counts.

port England’s latest campaign video, #ThisGirlCan, deserves a watch. Having come into a world in which the hashtag ‘#fitspiration’, the online trend for posting photos of athletic women posing in yoga-like poses, or their healthy eating, has over 3.9 million posts on Instagram, it’s a campaign that, in short, has the potential to do something really great.

Since London 2012, the attitude ‘if you can’t do something well, don’t do it at all’ is all too prevalent in sport. With this image of overachieving greatness, sadly, the principal view of UK sport, I’ll stress now that anything that encourages people to simply get up and go is a good thing … exactly why this campaign is so frustrating.

Whilst perpetuating the idea of sport as a means of indulging one’s own vanity, it patronises the very women (not ‘girls’) it wants to inspire.

If that weren’t enough, the second two slogans, ‘sweating like a pig… feeling like a fox’ and ‘damn right I’m hot’ create an uncomfortable link between exercise and desirability. If you’re in the gym to‘feel like a fox’, you need to reassess your motivations for exercise, all of which #ThisGirlCan, She certainly can...

Photo: Youtube

T It would take something very special to deny Chelsea their first title in five years

It is difficult to see these tactics working against Chelsea’s organised defence, who will be confident of taking a huge step towards sealing the title at Stamford Bridge this weekend.

The smart money was always on Chelsea. Powerhouse striker Diego Costa and the magisterial Cesc Fàbregas have been revelations for a team starting to deliver a fabulous passing style. Chelsea retain their characteristic tactical pragmatism, but their play has moved from the formulaic to the fluid.

Now keeping the ball in close quarters, passing with tempo and constantly moving for the ball, they are a cut above the team that finished third last season.

It will take more than a six-point deficit to eliminate Manchester City from the title race, but it would take something very special to deny Chelsea their first title in five years.

he African Cup of Nations couldn’t have come at a better time for Chelsea. At this crucial point in the title race, the champions-elect can enjoy a full roster of available players.

For rivals Manchester City, no such luck: Ivorians Wilfried Bony, a recent £28 million acquisition, and worldclass midfielder Yaya Touré could be on international duty until 8 February. The latter will be missed, as was the case in City’s 2–0 home defeat against Arsenal on Sunday.

City’s usual change of emphasis in Touré’s absence is to play wider, employing Milner and Navas as their main attacking outlets and sacrificing movement through the centre. Against an Arsenal side lacking fullback Débuchy, and handing youngster Hector Bellerín only his sixth Premier League start for the club, this should have worked. Instead, it was Arsenal who delivered, allowing City 65% of the possession, and sitting deep to neutralise their wing threat. The breakthrough arrived when Kompany, trying to do Touré’s job, ceded possession cheaply to Aaron Ramsey in midfield, prompting an Arsenal counterattack that led to Bony their penalty.

I’m struggling

and I don’t know

WHERE to turn.

Drop in, call, or email…

Photo: Global Panorama

22 January 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport

31

Richard Money and Jez George optimistic ahead of United tie Clara Buxton Sport Reporter

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riday night sees Cambridge United take on Manchester United in the FA Cup Fourth Round at the R Costings Abbey Stadium. Cambridge are the lowest ranked team remaining in the competition, sitting in 12th place in League Two, 75 league positions behind their FA Cup opponents. It is a David versus Goliath match that could result in one of the biggest giant killings in FA Cup history. Ahead of the clash, Clara Buxton conducted private interviews with the U’s manager and CEO. Speaking about the moment the club drew Manchester United, Cambridge manager Richard Money quipped: “Before the draw you always prepare yourself for the worst and then when you get the best, the emotion is incredible.

You just want to jump to the ceiling but try and keep cool for the cameras!”

Jez George, Cambridge’s CEO, echoed these sentiments; “It’s a massive night for the club and the supporters. I think you appreciate the good times more when you’ve had some tough times and this club has had a difficult 10 years. The last 12 months have

galvanised the support. Winning the FA Trophy was wonderful and earning promotion was the most important achievement. This is the icing on the cake. One of the biggest clubs in the world is coming to our ground.”

Cambridge go into the game on the back of a win against Carlisle United and a 4–0 thrashing of Newport County.

Money was quick to recognise the positive influence the results could have on Friday: “We weren’t good at Carlisle but we got the result and it’s the three points that are important on the day.

Saturday [against Newport] we were able to win and play well. The quality of that performance can only give us confidence and make the players feel good about themselves. Belief will be absolutely vital.”

Money is optimistic that Friday’s game will be part of a lasting legacy for Cambridge United. Speaking at the pre-match press conference on Monday, he said, “It’s an opportunity to showcase not just the club, but the city. An opportunity to continue to build a good club, to have a full house for at least the rest of the season and maybe to have more season ticket holders next year. We want the club to grow on and off the pitch. There aren’t many cities in the country as good as this one.”

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Photo: Will Lyon Tupman

Sudoku

Crossword 1.

George was similarly hopeful that the club’s FA Cup success this year will have a knock on effect in terms of expanding the fan base and identified engaging with the University as a “long term project”. “It’s a frustrating task.

I’m told the location is difficult for the students, being a little way out of town but we have had a really good 18 months working with the University Blues team and hopefully we can attract more students here on a weekly basis”.

As for the home fans who will be present on Friday, Money’s expectations are very simple: “I hope they come to the game full of optimism, he said.”

Around 8,000 supporters are expected to be in attendance, with thousands more watching the game, which will be aired on the BBC, on television.

The last time the teams met in 1991, the Red Devils ran out victorious in a League Cup 4–1 aggregate win. Despite this, the Red Devils have suffered some humiliating encounters with lower league opposition, famously losing 4–0 to MK Dons in the League Cup last August. Louis van Gaal’s side did, however, overcome Queens Park Rangers at the weekend, with goals from Marouane Fellaini and James Wilson securing a 2–0 victory. A fascinating The ‘U’s are on the ball cup tie awaits.

Down

1. Charlie _____, French satirical magazine (5) 2. Two of the topics of this week’s column Getting Baked (5) 3. College currently lacking a JCR president (6) 6. Honorific given to Kelly Holmes and Maggie Smith (4) 7. An incredibly long period of time, like an epoch (4) 10. Acronym for a meeting of exaddicts (2) 11. Music format chronologically between tapes and MP3s (2) 12. Computing term for the mind of a robot (2)

Thomas Prideaux-Ghee

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The solution to this week’s puzzles will be printed in our next issue.

We’re also looking for more crosswords and sudokus to appear Across 8. Cathedral city north of Cambridge in future issues. If you think you’ve got 1. Last name of the man who won’t (3) what it takes, email: debate Stephen Fry at the Union (8) 9. Ex-Portuguese colony, now a part of 4. Tennis shot to the player’s weaker China (5) editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk to find out more. side (8) 13. The type of week CDE would like 5. Port in the south of Ukraine (6) instead of Week Five (7)

Last week’s solutions

22 January 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport 32

The men’s rugby league team overcame Brunel 48–24 at a cold Grantchester Road.

Photo: Will Lyon Tupman

10 2

Men's tennis

Flora McFarlane Sport Editor

T

he tennis Blues took a big step towards topping their BUCS division on Wednesday afternoon, defeating Loughborough 10–2.

Captain Tim Prossor carved out a 6–4 6–4 win, breaking serve once in each set to seal the win. Neil Cordon also continued his rich vein of form by comfortably winning 6–1, 6–2.

Similarly, Sam Ashcroft took a while to find his range on his serve and forehand, yet eventually came through 6–2 6–2 in an hour, whilst Gerald Wu broke serve to stay in the first set, and then sealed the set in a tie-break. He breezed through the second set to win 7–6 (0), 6–1.

Prossor and Ashcroft in the number one doubles won 6–1 6–1, offering their opponents nothing. At number two, Cordon and Wu were undone by loose service and lost 4-6 4-6.

Cambridge Brunel

48 24

Charles Martland Sport Editor

C

ambridge’s men’s rugby league side pulled off a fantastic result on Wednesday, beating a Brunel side that had won their opening five BUCS fixtures.

The opening half proved a seesaw affair, with the Blues taking an early lead, before Brunel fought back. The game was evenly poised at the interval with Cambridge leading 18–12.

Cambridge’s dominance began to show in the second period, as they upped the tempo and began to increase their lead, running in a series of classy tries in the process. The visitors, topping the BUCS League standings and with a point at the start of play, threatened briefly a comeback but were ultimately beaten by the superior side.

The Blues return to action next week, when they welcome Essex, who themselves sit second in the table.

Cambridge Notts Trent

Women's tennis

Cambridge Loughborough

Men's rugby league

Men’s Tennis and Rugby League secure victory, Women’s tennis draw 6 6

Anna Grace Sport Contributor

T

he women’s tennis team came up against Nottingham Trent 1sts this week. It was a tense affair going down to the final match, ending ultimately in a draw.

Captain Leah Grace and Laura Brown faced Nottingham’s first pair, taking the first set but ultimately losing in three: 6–4, 4–6, 5–10. The second pair, consisting of Anna Grace and Chloe Fox had a strong match, taking the match 6–2, 6–3.

The singles were a closer affair. L. Grace was beaten by a strong opponent, but Fox claimed a win in three sets.

Brown triumphed 6–1, 6–2, whilst A. Grace was narrowly edged out in what the longest match, playing at number two in a tense match and losing 6–7, 6–4, 10–2. Yet to be defeated, they remain hopeful of achieving promotion at the end of the season.