Easter 2015 Issue 1

The

Cambridge Student

23 April 2015 Vol. 17 Easter Issue 1

It’s exam term. Ditch the UL and find yourself a quirky spot to revise – but at heights like these, take care of yourself.

Image: Rob Humphries

Election Special: Labour take lead in exclusive poll

E

Anna Carruthers News Editor

lection fever has gripped Cambridge, with viral posters, defamation claims between candidates and a visit from Ed Miliband making the headlines.

An election survey conducted by The Cambridge Student suggests Labour may well be presenting a serious threat to incumbent Julian Huppert (for full coverage, see pages 4-6) among Cambridge students. As such, Cantab voters could prove decisive in this contest. However, a recent poll

gave the Liberal Democrats’ candidate Julian Huppert a nine-point lead over his Labour rival in Cambridge.

The poll, conducted by Lord Ashcroft in March 2015, placed the Liberal Democrats on 40%, the Labour Party on 31% and the Conservatives on 17%.

The Green Party and UKIP polled at 9% and 3% respectively. Yet, recent events may have since significantly altered the political landscape.

On 17 April, the Conservatives’

Chamali Fernando filed a defamation suit against her Lib Dem opponent, as reported in Varsity, following his comments in response to the recent mental illness wristband controversy.

At a hustings on Monday 13 April, Cambridge blogger Richard Taylor tweeted that Fernando had suggested that those suffering from poor mental health ought to wear wristbands, an allegation Huppert later repeated.

Continued on page 3...

– Which party won the most colleges?: p4 Comment – FOMO: The curse of the young: p12 Cartoon – Revision: p20-21 Fashion – Feeling overdressed?

May Ball gowns can go: p28

Take a break from revision and learn to dance!

Learn more at www.cambridgedancers.org or email info@cambridgedancers.org Ballroom Dancing - Friday 24th April from 8:30 pm Taster Session FREE To Try! University Centre (Main Dining Hall), Granta Place Great skill to learn * Lots of fun * Make new friends across the university Fantastic value * Optionally compete for Cambridge * Try it at our Taster Session!

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

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News

2

Sweet revenge as Caius crowned University Challenge champions Olly Hudson Deputy News Editor

University Challenge appeared as a segment on Channel 4’s Gogglebox.

Following the airing of the show, viewer favourite Scarlett Moffat tweeted Loveday, “you my friends are a legend.

Never change for anyone!!”

Speaking to The Cambridge Student about the convincing victory, team captain, Martinelli said: “It’s pretty satisfying to have made it clear that while Oxford may have the brawn on the river, it’s Cambridge, or rather Caius, that has the brains.”

Caius led from the offset, taking the

first starter for 10 and the following three bonus questions. Magdalen toiled in earnest but remained on the coattails of their Cantabrigian rivals throughout.

Caius pulled away decisively within the closing 10 minutes, in large part thanks to repeated scoring from the unstoppable Loveday.

Newnham first-year and all-round Loveday fangirl, Elinor Clapson, enthused: “Ted was amazing. He really has it all – the brains, the hair, the facial expressions. All you need is Loveday.”

One a more sober note, this was the

Gonville and Caius have emerged as the 2015 University Challenge champions, after seeing off Magdalen College, Oxford, decisively in this year’s final.

The final tallies saw Caius on a dominating 255 points to Magdalen College’s 105. The victory comes just days after the dark blues trounced Cambridge in both the men’s and women’s Boat Races, the second such defeat in as many years.

The 21st series of the popular television quiz show saw Cauis’ Ted Loveday, Michael Taylor, Anthony Martinelli and Jeremy Warner face off against Magdalen College’s Harry Gillow, Chris Savory, Hugh Binnie and Cameron Quinn.

This is the second consecutive victory for Cambridge after last year’s fast-paced final saw Trinity College Cambridge score 250 points to Somerville College Oxford’s 135.

Law student Loveday found himself elevated to cult status in anticipation of the final, with the hashtag #allyouneedisloveday taking hold on Twitter amid much admiration of his cream cable knit pullover.

More recently, Loveday gained a whole new legion of fans when Cable knit sweaters can be found at all good Marks & Spencers

second consecutive year in which the University Challenge final has not featured a single female contestant.

Quizmaster Jeremy Paxman raised concern in his opening remarks in one of this year’s semi-finals, asking: “Why on earth are there no women left in this stage of the competition?”

Cambridge now has four series wins since the 1994 revvamp of the program, still three short of Oxford University’s seven victories. Cambridge now lies in joint second with Manchester University for total series wins.

Caius beat Magdalen 255 points to 105 points

Image: yaorito1 via YouTube

TEACH ENGLISH IN PERU THIS SUMMER ‘Deadly Doses’: Animal Justice Project launches investigation Do you have a strong desire to travel, experience the Latin American culture first-hand and expand your careers prospects?

VolunTeach Peru is currently recruiting UK university students and graduates interested in getting the experience of Teaching English in Peru this summer.

With accommodation provided by local Peruvian families, candidates teach in a city of their preference. Be it the love for the Andes mountains, the Pacific Ocean or the rich history of Peru this could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Contact us for further information and join us in this dream of education for all

Website:www.volunTeachperu.com, E-mail: info@volunteachperu.com,

Anna Carruthers News Editor

Concerns have been raised over the status of animal testing in University drug experiments.

Pressure group, Animal Justice Project launched an investigation, titled ‘Deadly Doses’ in which they claim to have uncovered a worrying trend of University of Cambridge researchers using live animals to test the effects of recreational drugs on humans.

The practices the group claim to have uncovered include the use of intravenous and brain catheters on rats for the selfadministration of cocaine and the use of electric shocks to encourage the animals to become dependent on the drug.

In one experiment, carried out in 2013, researchers sought to identify the relationship between high impulsivity and cocaine addiction, with the rats ranked according to their responses to a light stimulus.

The experiment involved training 140 rats to react to a light stimulus in order to receive food. The rats then had catheters implanted in their veins and underwent up to 44 sessions of

self-administration. Following the experiment’s completion, the rats were decapitated. The study concluded that highly impulsive rats were more vulnerable to cocaine seeking.

In another experiment during 2014, more than 70 rats were trained to manipulate levers in order to avoid electric shocks. Brain catheters were then implanted, a week passed and the rats were injected with heroin or pure amphetamine. New shocks were then administered before the rats were then killed, and their brains examined.

Animal Justice Project attempted to find out the number of licensed procedures undertaken by Cambridge researchers, the species of test animals and the types of recreational drug studies carried out, via Freedom of Information Requests.

Cambridge University declined the requests under Section 12 (1), citing high costs of obtaining the information.

One third year student at Gonville & Caius College said of the investigation: “I think it is really stupid to be getting upset over this sort of thing. Animal testing to advance scientific study is really important.”

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

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News

3

Past examination papers back online after disruptive technical glitch Shilpita Mathews Deputy News Editor Past exam papers are back online after a technical problem on the server made past papers relating to various faculties unavailable to students through CamTools.

Following the server problem, Cambridge University Student Union (CUSU) revealed that it would be uploading past exam papers onto its own website.

Jemma Stewart, CUSU Coordinator, tweeted saying: “we’re gonna be looking into getting the papers hosted on our website/alternative arrangements for links to depts asap”.

Faculties such as History of Art had taken past exam papers offline after the JISC (Joint Information Services Committee) programme was taken down. King’s College assistant librarian Gareth Burgess, said that the website “had not been updated since 2012” and “contained papers for all subjects, not just History of Art, so this move will affect a large number of students, particularly undergraduates”.

With one month to go for many student’s exams, the disappearance of past paper exams affected various undergraduates.

Affected students at King’s were recommended to consult hard copies of With papers back, Graduation Day beckons

MP candidates embroiled in legal battle Continued from page 1 Chamali Fernando insists she merely touted it as an option. Her comments were condemned by Nick Clegg, Deputy PM, and Andy Burnham, shadow health secretary as well as the Cambridge University Conservative Association (CUCA), who wanted to “emphasise that they do not in any way reflect the views of CUCA or of the Conservative Party.” An online petition was started against Fernando, calling for her to withdraw her candidacy, and she deleted her Twitter account after receiving death threats.

Should Fernando’s legal suit prove successful, there is a risk that the election result would be declared void.

Patrick O’Flynn, the UKIP candidate was also under protest this week by Stand Up To UKIP. The campaigners stood outside a UKIP event held at Arbury Community Centre on Friday 17 April. UKIP MP Douglas Carswell was in attendance alongside former Tory leader of Cambridgeshire County Council, Nick Clarke, who has recently defected to UKIP, as well as 100 supporters. Flynn declared at the event that “UKIP is now on the political map in Cambridge.”

exam papers available in the library.

In response to this the Whose University? Campaign encouraged students to send them past papers in order to compile a database, accessible to all.

Whose University? stated to Varsity: “It’s really important in situations like this to show departments that you don’t need money to share resources like this – we are doing it for free and proving there is an alternative”.

However, the loss of exam papers did not affect everyone, with the Department of Engineering, Faculty of History, and Department of Land Economy, amongst others, remaining unaffected.

It had been previously been thought that the exam papers had been removed due to a temporary lack of funding for JISC, a public organisation that supports the UK higher education sector.

One anoymous student said: “Obviously this should not have happened but personally it did not affect me because I had already written down all the past paper questions.”

One first-year Caius student had a different view: “I think the question we need to be asking here is why past papers were uploaded through an external source anyway? Surely it is within the University’s capabilities to do that itself, evidenced by the efforts Image: Jimmy Appleton of Whose University? and CUSU.” having a bit of fun to convey a more important message about the kind of country we want to build.”

Labour activists did come in for criticism however, when James Baillie, a Cambridge University student, argued that the website HuppertCheck was misleading. Baillie demonstrates that Tom Yates, the blog’s author and Labour Party member, made a key methodological mistake in compiling one graph, by relying on rebellion figures from the Public Whip site which do not provide an accurate representation of an individual MP’s vote. Yates has accepted “some of [the] critique” and agreed to temporarily remove the page.

Huppert’s campaign has not survived unscathed either. Cambridge residents

“It’s really important to show departments that you don’t need money to share resources”.

who received a Huppert campaign leaflet were quick to notice a lack of reference to the Liberal Democrat The Cambridge Universities Labour Party. Instead of a Lib Dem logo, the Club (CULC) meanwhile hit the front page features a prominent black headlines when its Katie Hopkins and white rosette with the words poster went viral.

“Strong independent voice” written The joke poster featured an image Should the upon it. Huppert had previously been of the controversial broadcaster and left red-faced when another campaign suit prove journalist alongside a promise to leaflet misspelt “failed” as “failied” in hold her to her now infamous tweet successful, the title. regarding Ed Miliband: “If this man the election Meanwhile Owen Jones, Guardian becomes Prime Minister I will leave could be columnist and political campaigner, the UK. This man is not Great Britain. declared void addressed CULC on Monday This is Russell Brand in a chuffing suit. ,commenting on Twitter that he was #Battle4Number10”. “particularly proud to be joining Tom Wilson, Campaigns Officer of CULC” for the talk at Lady Mitchell CULC told The Cambridge Student: Hall in light of the poster campaign.

“Katie Hopkins has long been a Jones’ talk proved highly popular, spiteful, divisive figure. This is us with the venue full to capacity, and Daniel Zeichner’s campaign received a welcome boost when Jones publicly endorsed him.

Also visiting Cambridge this week was Labour leader Ed Miliband.

Accompanied by Andy Burnham, Miliband announced a £150 million package to help cut waiting times for cancer test results to just one week.

He also pledged more funds for cancer testing in GP surgeries.

To read our full General Election coverage, turn to pages 4-6 for a special section with graphs, graphics, Vying for your vote at a hustings event in March Image: Cambridge Union Society via Youtube insight, and analysis.

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

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Election 2015

4

Analysis: The Lib Dems lose out as Cambridge divides by subject Colm Murphy Election & Associate Editor Finally, we can reveal the results of our big General Election survey – and they are absolutely fascinating.

What grabs the headlines is a huge swing in the student population away from the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats towards Labour in the student population, compared with The Cambridge Student’s 2010 survey.

This is to be expected after five tough and controversial years of coalition government. The high support for the Green Party, and the very low support for UKIP will also attract attention.

But the survey becomes more interesting once you start digging a little deeper. We asked the 732 respondents to give us their year, subject and college as well as voting intention. Of course, caveats should be made. Mainly out of necessity, our poll is a small sample out of the thousands of Cambridge University students, and the survey was an opt-in, which may encourage selection bias. Furthermore, we did not open the survey to Anglia Ruskin students, who will also form a large section of the ‘student vote’ having its say on 7 May. Still, our survey has produced striking, predictable and downright amusing results in equal measure.

In colleges and subjects where there were many respondents, the majority follow the overall pattern – but there are some variations. Some colleges followed their stereotypes so closely you almost wonder if it was done on purpose. King’s, was overwhelmingly pro-Labour, with Zeichner gaining 54% in comparison to 17% Green and 14% Liberal Democrat. Trinity College did nothing to help its reputation, racking up 58% for Tory candidate Chamali Fernando, against 18% for Labour and only 6% for the Greens.

Subject electoral intentions were also fascinating. History, English and HSPS (who were all in the top five with regards to number of respondents) polled strongly for Labour: 56% of English students and 47% of History students chose Zeichner. Englings also looked kindly on the Greens, giving them 27%, whereas second for History was the Tories, at 20%.

Unsurprisingly, given their relative predominance, the highest number of responces came from NatSci students, who overall favoured Lib Dem Huppert at 30% and Green Read at 24%.

Economists, it seems, are currently cleaved along ideological lines, with the Tories narrowly shading the contest at 34% to Labour’s 33%.

The Labour Party won overall, but the Green Party, notably, came top for first year students – 42% of them to be precise, way ahead of Labour’s 26%. It seems freshers find Bennett’s policies more convincing than Miliband’s, although the other years seem to have found them less convincing. The Green Party also managed to lead in some colleges, such as Clare with 40%.

The Liberal Democrat incumbent Julian Huppert was beaten in most colleges, but he managed to win some, such as Jesus with 40% of the vote to Labour’s 27%. He has strong support among Cambridge’s population at large (leading by nine points in a recent poll

by Lord Ashcroft), but it does appear his support among the student body has significantly fallen since he took office.

According to this survey, the coalition government has not been kind to Huppert’s Cambridge student constituents. That being said, If we compare this to the situation in Clegg’s Sheffield Hallam seat, it certainly could have been a lot worse for Huppert.

However, as always with these analyses, it should be stressed that this is only one poll of many.

Labour

Lib Dems

Name: Daniel Zeichner Key facts: Daniel works for Unison and was a councillor for eight years. He enjoys cycling, walking, and music.

Name: Julian Huppert Key facts: Julian has been an MP since 2010. He was previously a research scientist and a fellow of Clare College.

The candidates fighting for your vote in Cambridge

Conservatives

Name: Chamali Fernando Key facts: Chamali grew up in the East Midlands before qualifying as a barrister and working as a policy advisor.

Green Party

Name: Rupert Read Key facts: Rupert is an academic at the University of East Anglia. He is chair of the Green House thinktank.

UKIP

Name: Patrick O’Flynn Key facts: Patrick is an MEP for the East of England. He is UKIP’s Economic Spokesman and a former journalist.

The TCS Election Survey: The key details

113

732

38%

NatScis responded to the survey, the highest of any subject.

students responded to our survey between 12 March and 18 April.

of respondents were second-year students, the largest year group.

Which party won the most colleges?

Some minor adjustments were made for colleges with extremely low turnouts.

6

80

4

more students would vote UKIP than spoil their ballots.

Caius students responded, the highest of any college.

subjects in which no respondents intend to vote Conservative.

0 Management Studies students responded to our survey.

1.4% of respondents were students on their year abroad.

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

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Election 2015

5

Cambridge students back Labour in our biggest ever Election Survey Ellie Hayward Election Editor A survey conducted by The Cambridge Student into the voting intentions of Cambridge University students has shown Labour to be the most popular party. However, other polls of Cambridge have suggested a Liberal Democrat hold. Of the 732 responses to the survey, 245 students (33.5%) said they would be voting for the Labour Party candidate Daniel Zeichner at the polls on 7 May. 161 students (22%) said they intend to vote for Julian Huppert, the incumbent Liberal Democrat MP, who was elected as MP for Cambridge with 39% of the vote in 2010. The Green Party’s candidate Rupert Read ca,e om a c;pse third with 154 students (21%) .

Meanwhile 129 students (17.6%) stated they intend to vote for the Conservative candidate, Chamali Fernando, who has recently made headlines for her comments on people with mental health issues and her subsequent decision to sue her rival Julian Huppert for defamation (see page 1). 25 students (3.4%) said they would either be spoiling their ballot or not voting at all on May 7th, a number that exceeds that of the 18 pro-UKIP students (2.5%).

However, polling of Cambridge generally suggests that Huppert will retain his seat. A Lord Ashcroft poll of 1000 people in March gave the Lib Dems a nine point majority at 40% after weighting.

Also, a recent survey by High Fliers Research of over 500 Cambridge finalists put Labour and the Conservatives at equal pegging on 31%. Varsity are set to release their own survey in their Easter edition, due for release tomorrow.

Speaking to TCS, Daniel Zeichner welcomed the result but also said he will be “campaigning for every student vote between now and May 7th, because unless Labour wins in Cambridge, it is going to be another Conservative government.” His comments were echoed by Guardian columnist Owen Jones, who endorsed Zeichner in front of hundreds of Cambridge students at a recent Cambridge Universities Labour Club (CULC) event, stating “I would rather argue with a Labour government than fight a Tory one”.

Zeichner added: “I am talking to many students who tell me that they feel let down by the Liberal Democrats, but Labour has to earn their support.”

Julian Huppert, however, highlighted that the “margin for error is great” given it was only 732 Cambridge University respondents out of “thousands” of Cambridge and Anglia Ruskin students, and because it was an opt-in poll. He also emphasised that he won 40% of the vote at the Cambridge Union hustings last term.

He continued: “I have clearly demonstrated over the last five years that I am committed to standing up for Cambridge and its students, and their values are hugely important to me.

“I made a pledge to vote against tuition fees and I kept that promise. I was a student here when Labour introduced fees and tripled them, having promised not to each time. No-one is in any doubt that this election will be a close fight between Labour and myself and I hope all students will exercise their right to vote.”

The Green Party candidate, Rupert Read, commented: “This poll plainly puts us in contention, here in Cambridge, where the student vote could be the ‘kingmaker.’

“My experience on the doorstep and in the debating-halls is that there is no enthusiasm whatsoever for any of the old parties… Once people start to believe that we can win, then our vote goes through the roof.”

Read also welcomed the findings that he gained 42% of the vote among first-year students: “This bodes very well indeed for the future of the Green Party. With each year, we are growing in popularity.”

Chamali Fernando and Patrick O’Flynn were unavailable for comment.

TCS also asked for reaction from student parties. CULC Chair Rory Weal said: “It’s great to see Cambridge students backing Labour in significant numbers – only a big student vote for Labour will win this seat off the Lib Dems. As the election approaches more and more people seem to be recognising that Labour really is offering something distinct and radical.”

The President of the Cambridge University Conservative Association (CUCA) Amy MacDonald meanwhile emphasised that this was “one poll”, and that it “does not necessarily translate to how the parties will perform in the election”. She cited 31% support in the High Fliers survey, and said: “The fight for Cambridge will no doubt be a close contest.”

The Student Liberal Democrats were unavailable for comment.

Results from all survey respondents

Labour Lib Dems Green Party Conservatives Not voting/ spoiling ballot

UKIP

King’s College Trinity College Clare College

Voting intention of first year survey respondents

Economics

NatSci

History

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Election 2015: The Campaign

6

Julian Huppert’s voting record speaks for itself: Don’t let his tactics fool you Tom Wilson Labour Campaigner With the election now only a couple of weeks away, it is more important than ever that students stand up and participate in politics. It is a common refrain that the reason most parties make more pledges for the elderly than the young is that the elderly vote and the young don’t.

But in Cambridge, as shown by Lord Ashcroft’s latest poll for the constituency to be a Labour–Lib Dem marginal, we are in the best possible position to influence change. If we refuse to use our voices, then there is little hope for change.

There is however one party that has not ignored the young. Labour, against all political wisdom, has come out fighting for young people and students.

Last month, Labour promised to reduce tuition fees, paying for this by reducing tax relief on pensions for those earning over £150,000, a policy which our supposedly “anti-fees” Lib Dem MP opposes. Labour also pledged to raise grants by £400 a year for the poorest students, and to ask the highest earning students to pay higher loan interest than the lowest.

Finally, rent caps and longer tenancy agreements will give students security

in their accommodation and ease the costs of living in Cambridge.

Labour’s youth-friendly pledges do not just stop with students. High quality apprenticeships that end in high quality qualifications have been guaranteed to any student who achieves the grades and wants one. As well as this, unpaid internships lasting longer than four weeks will be abolished, and the education budget will rise year on year at every level of schooling.

Meanwhile in Cambridge, we have an MP who is set on undermining all of this. Julian Huppert may try to sell himself as a progressive, independent MP, but this is far from the truth.

He voted for the Bedroom Tax, that has forced the poorest out of their homes and hit the disabled hardest, for the increase of student loan interest for the poorest students, for the privatisation of almost half of NHS hospital beds, and for the increase in VAT which has exacerbated the cost of living for students and hit the poorest hardest.

And what of his two big planks, mental health and science? Both have seen their budget cut in real terms since 2010 in budgets Huppert voted for.

There is not a lot of trust in politics among our generation at the moment.

But Labour’s pledges show a respect for young people unseen in other

Labour’s attack dog parties. Asking some of the richest, and most likely to vote, people in society to pay for relief of student debt and cost of living may lose Labour votes overall – especially given the animosity the right-wing and tabloid press.

On top of that, respecting our intelligence after the Lib Dem betrayal by only promising what it knows it can deliver, Labour is slowly proving that a party is finally committed to creating a better politics, one based on substance,

Image: Labour Students

I am casting my vote for those that have suffered most under the Coalition

and not style or rubbing noses with Rupert Murdoch.

As Cambridge students, the chances are, presuming we complete our degrees, we will grow to be among the most privileged group in society.

As a left-minded student, it is not for me that I am casting my vote for Labour, but for those that have suffered most under the Lib Dems and Tories.

I implore Cambridge students to do the same.

It would be senseless to swap a local champion for an identikit Labourite Reece Edmends Lib Dem Campaigner “Thou shalt not sit with statisticians”, W.H. Auden once declared.

The Labour Party in Cambridge would do well, I think, to take his advice.

Recently, they’ve been bandying around a lot of statistics: Julian Huppert voted with the Conservatives in Parliament approximately 80% of the time, we hear, or even 97%.

The latter figure came, by the way, from the execrable HuppertCheck website (run, of course, by a Labour activist), and refers not to votes with the Tories, but with the majority of Lib Dem MPs. For example, Lib Dem MPs like Julian were whipped, together with Labour, in a vote to ameliorate the Bedroom Tax (which Labour introduced, but let’s not go there…), and the Conservatives overwhelmingly opposed it.

Reece (third from right) out campaigning with Julian Huppert

Julian, with most Lib Dem and Labour MPs, voted for same-sex marriage, too, while a majority of Tories opposed. Yet Huppert does according to HuppertCheck, both votes so much more count in the 97% category of quisling as an MP than betrayals against voters.

The misleading figure has since been file through a removed from the website, but even so division lobby – let’s consign ‘Huppert Check’ to the dustbin of history, and unpack the other figure a bit.

Yes, Julian did vote with the Tories that many times. However, most of them were meaningless, and, frankly, quite silly. For example, the rules say that the government has to have a vote in order to levy income tax – any income tax – and the Opposition always votes against.

There are also Opposition Days, where the Opposition tables motions deliberately phrased to embarrass the government, and which aren’t binding in any case.

There’s a lot of procedural stuff, too.

Not all votes are equal. When Julian voted against the tuition fee increase, against the wars in Iraq and Syria, and against the Health Bill becoming law, these rebellions were far more Image: Reece Edmends significant than most of his votes with

the Government.

And also – heaven forbid – some of the things the government did were good. Voting with the Tories to scrap ID cards, to ring-fence international aid, to end child detention: these aren’t things to be ashamed of. Yes, Julian voted for Osborne’s budget which cut income tax for the rich, but only because it gave a massive tax break to low earners.

The Lib Dem manifesto was, and is, crammed full of radical policies, some of which we delivered, and some of which we didn’t. If you think the compromise was too much, fair enough. But don’t make your decision based on a scary number.

All in all, I refuse to play the Labour Party’s game. They can keep their dry reductionistic calculus, because he does so much more as an MP than filing through a lobby when a division bell rings.

Julian successfully lobbied the government to stop cuts to Disabled Student Allowance, to ban revenge porn, and to give a funding boost to local schools.

He’s a local champion. Replacing him with a monochrome Labour apparatchik would not be a good idea.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

News 7 “Nothing special”: Cambridge Union’s Easter termcard fails to impress Olly Hudson Deputy News Editor The Cambridge Union has this morning released its termcard, featuring a distinct lack of high-profile speakers.

Among the limited number of recognisable names are Lord Leveson, who chaired the 2011/12 inquiry into press standards, actress Rebecca Front of The Thick of It fame, and former Labour Home Secretary David Blunkett.

The term’s first debate will consider the motion, “This house blames the West for Islamic Extremism”, featuring founder of the Henry Jackson Society Dr Alan Mendoza, and UN Women’s ambassador in Iraq Frances Guy. Other motions include, “This House Regrets Monogamy”, “This House Believes We Need The Richest 1%” and an election-night debate on the motion, “This House Wouldn’t Vote Because They’re All Tossers Anyway”, which will once again see the Cambridge Footlights take on the Oxford Revue.

The Union will also play host to an Election Night party in the main chamber on 7 May. The Week two debate, “This house believes in the unconditional right to offend” sees a return of the ‘noplatforming’ debate that has become a dominant feature of student politics

Is the sun setting on the Union? this year. The Union has itself recently attracted criticism for its decision to invite a number of highly controversial speakers, such as Germaine Greer.

Reverend Canon Giles Fraser will be making a return to the Union to propose the motion, “This house regrets organised religion”, having also proposed the similar motion, “This house would disestablish the Church of England” in Lent term.

Image: Rob Palmer Peterhouse first-year Julian Sutcliffe commented: “It says a lot about the establishment that they’ve got two debates on established religion in two terms. With the Church of England notoriously Cambridge educated, it’s no wonder they invited them.”

The Union has announced its final bicentenary debate, the culmination of the celebrations to take place on 26 September in Middle Temple Hall,

London. The debate will be centred on the theme of the European Union, with the exact wording of the motion yet to be confirmed.

Speakers include British singersongwriter, Craig David, former First Minister of Scotland, Lord McConnell, and the ITV show Downton Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern.

Easter Union President, Christof Epaminondas, said: “This term, we continue our bicentenary celebrations with an array of inspirational, thoughtprovoking and entertaining speakers, which we hope will continue to foster the debate and free speech that the Union has so proudly upheld for the past 200 years.”

Reaction among students to this term’s line-up has been, at best, mixed.

One second-year at St John’s told The Cambridge Student: “It’s OK, nothing special. It’s sad that they couldn’t do more for their bicentennial year.”

Another commented: “I felt that the election debate looked like a joke that fell flat.”

This term’s line-up also is one of the more diverse in the Union’s recent history, featuring a total of 21 female speakers and 12 BME speakers, some 36% and 21% of the total number.

Neither Varsity nor The Tab deemed the termcard worthy of coverage.

“It’s OK, nothing special. It’s sad that they couldn’t do more for their bicentennial year”

Cambridge University in a tight corner after government changes on AS levels

Uni claims ‘unparalleled support’ for sexual harrassment victims

Rachel Balmer Deputy News Editor

Anna Carruthers News Editor

Cambridge could introduce a new entrance test for the first time in 29 years as a result of AS-level reform.

According to the trade magazine, Schools Week, the University is currently gathering views on plans to bring back entrance tests for applicants.

Allegedly, documents shown to senior tutors at a committee in March state that the University is “being forced” to change its current system of using ASlevels in order to assess applicants.

The documents apparently state that GCSEs “will not give us a reliable measure” due to their ongoing reform and that “schools’ predictions of grades will be next to useless.”

Under coalition reforms, from September 2015, the new AS-levels will be optional and will not count towards an A-level. Currently, the University uses UMS scores calculated from performance in AS-levels to assess applicants. The scrapping of the AS-level qualification could mean that admissions tutors have lost an important

indicator in the application process – one which they use when assessing which applicants should be invited for an interview.

University departments have been asked to give their views on the proposal to reintroduce tests from the 2016/17 admissions round.

In November 2014, Dr Mike Sewell, Director of Admissions for the Cambridge Colleges, sent a letter to schools strongly encouraging potential applicants to take AS-level examinations in at least three subjects.

He claimed that it “will provide us with a strong measure of applicants’ recent academic progress, will assist us and the students in judging whether an application to Cambridge is likely to be competitive, and will provide reassurance that grade predictions are not relied upon too heavily in a new system.” However, it was added that no student would be disadvantaged if they were unable to take AS exams and would be fairly assessed on all available evidence.

Some students already take admissions tests, such as the TSA.

“Schools’ predictions of grades will be next to useless”

Cambridge University has responded to an open letter by the Cambridge University Women’s Campaign which attacked university and college harassment policies, accusing them of looking to “brush [complainants] under the carpet”.

In response, the University has claimed the level of support available to Cambridge students “is unparalleled in most other universities”.

Signed by nearly 120 students, the 1,000 word letter focuses on the lacking of training that tutors receive and a perceived lack of action from senior college staff: “Many colleges have been stalling for years on creating adequate sexual harassment policies, while countless victimised students fall by the wayside.”

The Women’s Campaign proposed solution is a central University policy on sexual harassment that individual colleges would then be obligated to sign up to. The campaigners wish to see great information made accessible

to students on how the complaints procedure works and what support is available to them. Alongside this, campaigners are also pressing for the introduction of a complaints procedure external to colleges.

A spokeswoman for the University told Cambridge News: “The collegiate University is committed to the welfare and safety of all its students, and expects all members of its community to treat each other with respect and consideration at all times, and to act within the law.

“Where behaviour falls short of this expectation, there are well-established reporting procedures for students under the Dignity@Study scheme colleges and central services work closely together to direct students to appropriate sources of help. The level of support available to students at the University of Cambridge is unparalleled in most other universities.

“The health and wellbeing committee is currently examining the impact of rape and sexual assaults on students in Cambridge. Its members have been meeting with student representatives.”

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

News 8 College Watch

Images: Hannah Taylor (above), Jessica McHugh (below)

St Catz

Medwards Pembroke

Emma

Sir Christopher Alan Bayly, Cambridge University historian and Honorary Fellow of St Catharine’s College has lost his life following a heart attack at the University of Chicago. He was 70 years old.

Sir Bayly was one of the foremost historians of post-18th-century Indian history and British imperial history and was widely respected around the world. Bayly was lecturing at the University of Chicago in connection to his role as Vivekananda Visiting Professor, alongside his other positions as Vere Hamsworth Professor Emeritus at Cambridge and Professor of History at Queen Mary University of London.

St Catharine’s sent an email to all its students announcing the news, stating: “Tributes are already pouring in and it is clear that Chris was held in high esteem not only at St Catharine’s but around the world”. Third-year historian Sam Rhodes, who was taught by Bayly, said “History has lost one of its giants.”

There’s been good news for Medwards students this term as work to install WiFi in non-public areas of the College gets underway. Following a JCR led survey of the undergraduate body it became clear that students considered WiFi to be a priority in how College funds should be spent. College authorities had been in agreement with students on the need for WiFi for some time but were unable to progress until a solution could be found to the issue of installing cables in largely concrete buildings with minimum disturbance. Students were subsequently surveyed on their approval of work being done in corridors during set hours of the day, for 18 days in Easter Term. This survey also received favourable results and so work is expected to begin shortly. JCR President Beth Craig-Geen said, “We’re so pleased that the students and the college have been able to work together to get WiFi installed – it’s a really exciting step forwards for Murray Edwards.”

Pembroke College has become the first university establishment in the UK to be allergen accredited. Following the introduction of new allergen legislation in December, the catering team at Pembroke introduced a new range of allergen-free food in the cafeteria. All utensils used to cook these foods are coloured purple, a universally recognised colour for this purpose, and within the cafeteria itself, allergen-free food is displayed in an ‘allergen safety zone’. Once the scheme was underway, the CEO of Allergen Accreditation, Julian Edwards, visited the college and inspected the kitchens before concluding that they were compliant in all 45 areas. Edwards stated: “I’m delighted to be able to hand over an accreditation certificate, which is the Michelin star of allergen management.

Pembroke’s catering team have not just met the requirements. They have done something exceptional. I have not seen an allergen free zone anywhere else yet – you’re the first.”

Cuppers may have mostly concluded by this stage of the year, but some colleges clearly have not set rivalries aside, and now the innocent are suffering. A family of 12 ducks and ducklings from Emmanuel College have disappeared, coincidentally just as a similarsized brood have appeared at Pembroke. Fowl play is immediately suspected, and Emmanuel have reportedly deployed a crack team of porters to locate their potentially pilfered poultry. Emmanuel’s website features a section on their ducks, reassuring both the public and the student population that the ducks are never culled, and nor are they eaten by College Members. Worryingly for the fleeing ducks, Pembroke’s website contains no such pledge. One Emmanuel student, who naturally wished to remain anonymous, declared “I’m scandalised and deeply upset to have lost my opportunity to see the ducklings, and feel that the unacceptable actions of Pembroke must be punished by the highest authorities.”

Anna Carruthers

Finn Dameron

Anna Carruthers

Sam Rhodes

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

News

9

CUSU LGBT+ campaign to raise awareness of trans issues in Cambridge The CUSU LGBT+ transgender awareness campaign is set to launch this week.

The campaign, titled Make No Assumptions, will be officially launched on Monday 27 April, following a dropin session on 25 April during which students of all genders are invited to a craft session. Posters will also be handed out at this event for distribution across the University.

The launch itself will involve a discussion and question and answer session, then a party before the launch celebrations move to Kaleidoscope. The campaign is also considering creating a magazine using some of the artwork created at the drop-in crafts session.

The CUSU LGBT+ campaigns officer, Em Travis, commented: “Make No Assumptions aims to raise awareness in the wider community about the issues trans people face, and challenge common expectations about gender in order to empower communities both within and outside the university to be better allies to trans people. We want to create a dialogue about what gender is and is not, to deconstruct the assumption that you can infer someone’s gender identity based on their appearance. As well as our events

and poster and badge campaign, we’ve sent resources and information directly to Cambridge colleges, GPs, clubs, pubs, and bars to educate and enable the wider Cambridge community to make these spaces more welcoming to people of all gender identities and expressions.

“We hope this campaign can be a contact point for people who want to learn more and engage with trans people and trans issues, and rethink their own conceptions and assumptions of gender. Trans people, particularly trans women and transfeminine people, face everything from invalidation to direct danger because of their identities and presentation, and if we can help make spaces and communities more welcoming and more understanding regarding trans issues we will have made incredibly important steps towards equality and liberation for trans people in Cambridge and elsewhere.”

The launch of the Make No Assumptions campaign comes as a pledge is being circulated amongst political party candidates across Britain. The Non-Binary Election Campaign pledge asks candidates to commit to supporting the extension of the definitions in the Equality Act 2010, a review of the Gender Recognition Act and support for the introduction of nongender-specific passports.

So far, this pledge has been supported

“We want to create a dialogue about what gender is and is not”

The Trans Flag colours

Tonicha Upham Deputy News Editor

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In January, Rupert Read came under fire on Twitter for using transphobic language. He later apologised for any offence caused by and insisted that he was completely in support of Green Party policy on trans issues. On signing the Non-Binary Election Campaign pledge, he commented: “This is an important pledge and I’ll make sure other Green candidates pledge as well.”

NUS poster attacks the Lib Dems

G N I O G T O N I T ’S . . .

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Photo: Make No Assumptions Facebook

by more Green Party candidates than any other party. Amongst the seven parliamentary candidates for Cambridge, only Liberal Democrat Julian Huppert and Green Party candidate Rupert Read have signed.

Julian Huppert has announced that he supports the pledge “wholeheartedly”, and commented: “I have spoken out in Parliament about non-binary issues, such as by tabling motions calling for

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Tonicha Upham News Editor

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In the run-up to the general election, the National Union of Students has unveiled a controversial advertising campaign primarily targeting Liberal Democrat “pledge breakers”.

The campaign takes the form of billboards, advertising vans and adverts in national newspapers and has cost the NUS a total of £40,000.

The adverts feature the words “liar liar” tattooed across a pair of fists, alongside the phrase “broken pledges leave a permanent mark...” The advertising vans make direct reference to the Liberal Democrat pledge to abolish tuition fees.

It is especially targeted at the 28 constituencies in which the incumbent MP is a “pledge breaker”, namely those held by Liberal Democrats who pledged to vote against a rise in tuition fees but subsequently voted for the tripling of fees in 2010.

There has been opposition to the campaign by students who feel that NUS should not be taking such a political stance. Leon French, a Hull music finalist, has withdrawn his NUS presidential candidacy due to his own objections to the campaign. Speaking

to LSU Media he stated “A vendetta… sorry, ‘principled campaign’ against the Liberal Democrats has been started by the NUS that is costing £40,000.

“That’s right, some cheeky sod who you didn’t even get the chance to vote for has signed off £40,000 of our money (because a lot of NUS money comes from our Student Unions that we put money into partly with money coming from universities) – which is more than a standard undergraduate university degree costs in the new system of fees – to attack a national political party.”

At the NUS conference this week, President Toni Pearce defended the advertising campaign, stating: “It is not me that is ending the relationship between students and the Lib Dems; it was Nick Clegg.” She reportedly also said that the £40,000 spent by the NUS on advertising is a very small amount of the general election budget.

Second-year English student Jack May stated: “With the NUS’s slightly dubious level of democratic accountability, it seems surprising that they should take such an overtly party-political stance without an obviously legitimate mandate. Such a campaign should only have been launched with the popular support of students.”

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Science & Research

10

Unzipping obesity genes Jenny Chalmers Science & Research contributor Rates of obesity have rocketed in recent years, and this trend shows no signs of abating soon. Worldwide, there were 9 million individuals who were overweight in 1980, whereas this figure is now 2 billion, representing over 40% of adults and 25% of children. This obesity ‘epidemic’ is widely blamed on our lifestyle – excess calorie intake, damaging diet composition, and insufficient exercise. First indicated by studies comparing twins, a variety of research is now showing that geneticsinfluences how individuals respond to this obesogenic lifestyle.

A few mutations result in severe obesity from early childhood, for example those which cause a complete loss of function of the hormone leptin, as seen in ob/ob mice. However, such conditions are very rare – less than 25 patients worldwide have been identified with genetic leptin deficiency.

Perhaps more relevant to the general population is newer evidence showing that a person’s weight correlates with small genetic variants called

SNPs. These SNPs were identified by sequencing the genome of thousands of individuals, then using powerful statistical analysis tools to compare genotype with weight. So far, SNPs of this type have been identified in 32 different genes, many of which act in the brain in pathways that regulate hunger, satiety, and energy output. Thus, it is thought that variations in these genes may affect the “energy balance” of an individual. Of the risk SNPs identified so far, those in the FTO gene have the largest effect (associated with a weight gain of about 1kg for a person of average height) and are also relatively common (found in approximately 40% of Europeans). It has been suggested that variations in FTO subtly change the amount of food consumed and the type of food preferred.

Although individuals with risk SNPs are more vulnerable to weight gain than those without, they are not completely at the mercy of their genes. Indeed, rates of obesity have only recently become problematic, but gene frequencies have not changed. Further, it has been shown that the weight gain associated with FTO risk SNPs is attenuated in people who are physically active. Special diets can also help. In the recent BBC

1

Rebecca Kershaw Science & Research Contributor

Are you what you eat? Genes might be the answer to the growing rates of obesity

Genes vs Jeans

Image: Ben (bsdfm)

Horizon TV documentary “What’s the Right Diet for You?”, volunteers with high numbers of risk SNPs felt hungrier than other participants, but lost weight using an intermittent fasting diet that reduced their energy intake to just 800 calories on 2 days each week.

New data shows that deforestation has lead to a third of the Amazon rainforest having insufficient forest cover to stop irreparable species loss. The Amazon rainforest covers around 40% of South America and is home to the most diverse range of species on the planet, with 2.5 million insect species alone, most of which have yet to be seen by mankind.

An unprecedented study conducted by the Department of Zoology looked at the impact of deforestation on biodiversity in over 3 million hectares across the entire Amazon area and found that every 10% deforestation leads to the eradication of two major large mammal or bird species in the area. At less than 43% forest cover this accelerates dramatically to up to four times the rate of species loss.

41% of the forest has been lost in the last 40 years. Whilst current legislation in Brazil, which contains 60% of the Amazon region, requires farmers to maintain 80% cover, this is rarely enforced. The new data calls for a revised strategy with a shift to a larger scale approach to managing deforestation, to maintain the critical 50% cover. Lead author Dr Jose Manuel Ochoa-Quintero said “We need to move from thinking in terms of compliance at a farm scale to compliance at a landscape scale if we are to save as many species as we can from extinction.”

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As we understand more about the genes involved in regulating body weight, it will become easier to identify those at risk, and to design personalised lifestyle modifications (and potentially medicines in the future) to treat and prevent weight gain.

Green technology is spreading far and wide; the latest stride was taken in the Biochemistry Department using smart materials to create a selflighting bus shelter. The prototype, a predominantly wooden structure currently in the Cambridge University Botanical Gardens, uses a combination of plants and photovoltaics to generate the electricity to generate light. When the plants photosynthesize, they produce organic molecules which are then leached into the soil. Bacteria break down these carbohydrates and proteins, releasing electrons which are collected by electrodes. At the cathode, a catalytic carbon place, atmospheric oxygen is used to produce water, completing the circuit and allowing current to flow.

This example acts as a demonstration of the potential of these self-powered buildings. The technology can be used to power many electrical devices, and previous work in the group used a moss to power a radio. “The longterm aim of the P2P solar hub research is to develop a range of self-powered sustainable buildings for multi-purpose use all over the world, from bus stops to refugee shelters” commented Dr Paolo Bombelli, a lead on the project. This work hopes to inspire others to consider what is possible at the new cutting edge of materials science.

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New superresolution imaging techniques developed at the Department of Chemical Engineering and Biotechnology are generating new insights into the mechanisms of neurodegeneration.

The group of Prof. Clemens Kaminski is using optical microscopy that goes beyond the physical limitations of light itself to investigate the misfolding and aggregation of proteins involved in Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

Until now, the wavelength of light has limited optical techniques to features larger than 250 nm, the size of a bacterial cell. The new field of superresolution microscopy, whose inventors earned the 2014 Nobel Prize for Chemistry, has been used to distinguish between tiny structures “by imaging blobs of light at separate points in time, we are able to discriminate them spatially, and thus prevent image blur.”

Kaminski explains.

Dr Steven Lee and Professor David Klenerman in the Department of Chemistry have also been making strides in this field, developing the only 3D super-resolution microscope in Europe. This level of resolution allows biologists to test their predictions in biological samples for the first time, including up to 10,000 proteins at a time in situ, on the surface of cells. This is an exciting space to watch as it sheds light on questions across biology.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Editorial 11 Punting and voting: A manifesto

A farewell to the physical realm

Jack May Editor-in-Chief, Lent 2015

Sam Rhodes Editor-in-Chief, Easter 2015

A

s a wise man once wrote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Dickens has never been more appropriate than in this, the unhallowed, unnervingly delightful world of exam term in Cambridge.

The sun is out, flowers – carefully tended to and looked after by droves of tireless college staff – are blooming all over the place, and Cambridge is at peak Cambridge. This is Daily Mail season, when impeccably dressed Cantabs line lazy punts with their obnoxious talk of country houses and summers in their Languedoc chateaux amidst a symphony of popping champagne corks. Cambridge in late spring is something of the upper-class Briton’s vision of heaven.

If only it were so. On the ground, students – many already struggling with anxiety and high stress levels – can feel more isolated and pressurised than ever as exams loom. Though they won’t say why, St. John’s College closes its chapel tower.

Students of Cambridge – we face a choice. These are the best days of our lives. Do we want to spend them locked in a manic library with fugged-up

windows and hordes of students poring desperately over dusty tomes in search of the key to Paper IV: Abstraction in Literary Structures of 1940s Drama as midnight strikes? Or do you want to spend them out in the glory of high season in Cambridge, enjoying the freedom and possibility of Cambridge’s paths, rivers, nooks, and crannies?

This newspaper – always an advocate of only the most responsible life choices – heartily recommends the latter. As I’ve said many times before, if it’s a choice between a healthy 2.ii and an unstable first, we’d choose the punt and the sub-60 average mark any day.

So with that in mind: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of ‘15: Wear sunscreen.

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Jack May and Sam Rhodes would like to thank Associate Editors Freya Sanders and Colm Murphy #YesAllRogues

V

ote. That’s the other thing that’s going on. You may or may not have heard about the General Election (though you probably have), and you may or may not have heard about our General Election survey (though you probably have, and you can see its intriguing results and analysis thereof on pages 4–6), but it’s happening. If you’re not registered to vote, you’ve missed the deadline, and you’re a fool for ignoring the repeated and incredibly loud calls of everyone ever. If you are; vote. There’s no excuse.

his time last year, The Cambridge Student (briefly) made headlines by allegedly ceasing its print editions permanently and fleeing to the internet. This was, of course, not the case. However, we will be taking a short break from the physical realm once again this Easter, as exams loom and staff numbers dwindle.

The advantages of becoming an entirely online newspaper are obvious; we will be faster and greener than ever, and accessible via your laptop rather than the weekly pilgrimage to the college JCR. One of the things I’m regularly asked (as someone who has sacrificed his Facebook dignity upon the greedy altar of student journalism) is why TCS continues to put out a print edition the rest of the year at all. In the modern era of 24-hour news media, the tyranny of Twitter, and The Tab, waiting seven days to catch the latest news seems unbearably quaint. Surely it would be for the best of us all if we simply cut loose the relic of a bygone era that must cause far more problems than it solves.

But no. Perhaps it’s the historian in me, but I think there will always be a place for the real, physical, student

newspaper. Much as the Kindle has abjectly failed to replace the humble paperback, which in turn has not quite got rid of the mighty hardback, so the internet is best seen as a mere supplement to the broadsheet.

A print edition must be perfect when it goes out, because copies of it will bear your name for the rest of your life; it forces the reader to slow down and appreciate prose rather than serving up another slice of clickbait. Along with this is the tangible feel of an artefact that has been created from the sweat and tears (we are saving the blood for May Week) of a tightly knit team of strangers united against the deadline makes it far more special. Furthermore, dozens of professional journalists got their first taste of print media within the doors of TCS towers; crafting a print edition provides invaluable experience for everyone involved.

In some ways, yes, the genie is already out of the bottle. We will never return to the golden age of the newspaper, and the thrill of being first to an online scoop is undeniable. But for as long as it is feasible, I hope that TCS will be putting out a print edition. Until May Week then, I hope that we can continue to provide the best of both online and offline worlds. Hopefully, see you on the other side.

Highlights from our website The Women’s Campaign and radical self-care: Escaping the ‘scary hairy hippies’?

Easter procrastination 101: Which tertiary Harry Potter character are you?

Lola Olufemi goes on a myth-busting mission on the Women’s Campaign the importance of self-care.

Amelia Oakley gives you the low-down on how best to waste your time as exam season weathers on.

Easter Term, Issue One: Editorial Team 2015 Editors-in-Chief

Jack May Sam Rhodes

Associate Editors

Freya Sanders Colm Murphy

News Editors

Anna Carruthers Olly Hudson Tonicha Upham

Deputy News Editors

Rachel Balmer Shilpita Mathews

Election Editors

Ellie Hayward Colm Murphy

Science Editor

Shreya Kulkarni

Dispatches Editor

Will Amor

Fashion Editor

Maddy Airlie

Comment Editors

Rebecca Moore Elsa Maishman

Books Editor

Alice Mottram

Lifestyle Editors

Jessy Ahluwalia Lucy Meekley

Music Editors

Miriam Shovel Tom Ronan

Sport Editors

Flora McFarlane

Production Editor

Thomas Saunders

Interviews Editor

Julius Haswell

Features Editors

Amelia Oakley Elsa Maishman Chase Smith

Food Editor

Julia Stanyard

Theatre Editor

Harry Parker

Technology Editor

Sam Raby

TV & Film Editor

Grace Murray

Social Media Managers

Ru Merritt Yema Stowell

Chief Sub Editors

Megan Proops Char Furniss-Roe

Directors

Jack May Jemma Stewart Siu Hong Yu Hazel Shearing Colm Murphy Sam Rhodes

TCS Top Dog

Sam Raby Tonicha Upham

For details of the team running our website in Easter Term, visit www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/team

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Comment 12 FOMO: The curse of the young Freya Sanders Associate Editor

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y nearest and dearest have been joking for months that my FOMO is getting out of hand. It hung over me like a cloud the weekend that former and current TCS Ed-in-Chiefs Jack and Sam took #CaiusToParis while I’d decided it would be best to stay in the bubble and do some dissertating. It viciously mauled me when photos from the aforementioned trip went public.

It’s an affliction that niggles every time I log on to Facebook, am late for a lecture, or see friends at the other end of the table at dinner who look like they’re having a more interesting conversation than I am.

‘Fear of missing out’ is an odd concept. Qualified, it is, when applied to an event in the present or near future, the fear of missing out on something thoroughly abstract- an idea of what something will be like, which is usually idealised. For instance, we may lie awake while seemingly all our friends are having what we imagine to be the ultimate night out in Cindies. As if such a thing exists.

Applied to an event in the past, FOMO is the fear of having missed out on an event that presents itself on social media as a romanticised, sanitised version of actuality. Club photos don’t show your best friend puking outside Sainsbury’s on the way home or people dancing a bit half-heartedly because they’re too exhausted to be feeling it.

So to suffer from the former type of FOMO is to be overly optimistic, to suffer from the latter is to be naïve.

To suffer from either is to yield to a certain kind of insecurity; to give in to ungratefulness and discontent. As these qualities are rife amongst the young, it’s hardly surprising that there’s a FOMO epidemic sweeping the student population.

And it’s an epidemic that ought to be taken more seriously. The term FOMO legitimises an attitude to life that isn’t quite healthy- an attitude that is partly a product of the social media age, which allows us to see exactly what we’re missing, or seems to, anyway.

Almost all of us have to write essays as part of our degree. Almost all of us are taught that good structure and narrative flow come from choosing what is vital and paring down what is

Club photos don’t show your best friend puking outside Sainsbury’s

TCS has been investing in Photoshop training excessive. Here is something that we gain from academic rigour that couldand should- actually be applied to life.

And Life.

FOMO does nothing for self-worth.

Every time we flick wistfully through an album from a party we decided to give a miss, the sense of regret invalidates the fact that you just didn’t feel like it, and undermines the idea that you know what’s best for you. FOMO is invariably used in negative contexts.

Unlike YOLO, carpe diem and ‘you’re only young once’, it’s a phrase linked to superfluity, stupid decisions, pushing yourself beyond your limits

E L C Y C DON’T S! T H G I L T U O WITH

…AND AVOID A £30 FINE.

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Image: Chase Elliott Clark

and, particularly at Cambridge, lack of sleep.

Therefore, conquering FOMO requires confidence. Confidence that just because your best friends have all met up in the holidays without you, it doesn’t mean they’ll return after the vac a brand new friendship group minus you. Confidence that it’s okay to want a quiet and solitary night in with Harry Potter and Coco Pops. It’s a very Cambridge thing to expect more from yourself than you can give, but if we recognise this in ourselves, we can curb it in our social lives even if we can’t in work.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Comment 13

Far better than Basics vodka

Image: mu523

Breathalysers? Try college bars...

Colm Murphy Comment Contributor

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here are, admittedly, more pressing issues that merit attention; poverty, world peace, the patriarchy...

I do care about all of these problems, and they need solving. And yet, I wasn’t infuriated by those issues a few weeks ago, but by the news that a scheme was being launched by Cambridgeshire’s Police and Crime Commissioner, Sir Graham Bright. The idea is to hand out 20 breathalysers to security staff of pubs and clubs in Cambridge as part of a pilot scheme to deal with “excessive

drinking”. The devices will be used by bouncers to turn away revellers who are, in their eyes, too intoxicated to enter the premises. Justifying the measure, Bright cited the tendency for people to “preload” on alcohol before going out, and implied that the breathalysers would discourage this.

Before we go any further, I think you mean “predrink” or “prink” Graham. I have never heard the word “preload” in my entire life.

Giving out breathalysers to pubs and clubs fails to deal with the root factor: predrinks often involve consuming very strong drinks very quickly in somebody’s room, rather than pacing

yourself with lager or wine in a public place. Hence, they tend to get people dangerously drunk.

Unfortunately, predrinks are also the only way most of us can even consider having more than one drink on a night out without swiftly bankrupting ourselves.

Everybody knows how expensive it is to buy a drink in most Cambridge pubs and clubs. Pints generally cost between £3.50 and £4.50 – spirits and mixers are even more eye-wateringly expensive.

Once you get into the nightclubs, the prices become even more obnoxious.

You can call me a degenerate, an alcoholic and a menace to civil society, but I would like to enjoy more than one or two drinks at least one night a week. I want to have a bit of fun as a break from the grind of a Cambridge degree.

There is a much better solution than breathalysers: encouraging some student-friendly bars.

Of course, in theory these already exist in the form of college bars. In fact, a select few of these are pretty good, such as the famous bars of King’s, Clare and Newnham. Yet the decentralised nature of the University of Cambridge means that these establishments are highly variable in price and in quality. Generally, I love my College (Magdalene), but our bar is shocking.

The only beer on tap is San Miguel, and

The feminists need to calm down Elsa Maishman Comment Editor

T

he number of times I’ve been told to ‘calm down’ when condemning sexist language or behaviour is almost beyond counting. Sometimes I deserve it, but most of the time I am in fact already calm, but just failing to realise that every single reaction to sexism must of course be ‘female hysteria’. Women who complain about sexist language are dismissed because their feminist views are too hardcore, women who take issue with sexual harassment are accused of ‘overreaction’, and women who take a stand against sexist Facebook posts are laughed at.

Ridicule is one of the most effective ways to undermine an opinion, and it’s a fantastic tool for keeping uppity women in their place, afraid of speaking out for fear of being branded a crazy bitch feminist. The title photo of this article has been posted on social media many times as a ‘joke’ – a hilarious jest about how feminism can be homogenised into a single group of people, ‘the feminists’, and how you’d better watch out because they’re all crazy, angry bitches, coming to hunt you down.

Feminism is not a single campaign, and it is not represented by a particular

group of people who share the same views about everything. The only truly definitive thing you can say about a feminist is that they advocate women’s rights.

I have in the past been dismissed as ‘taking feminism too seriously.’ Sexist discrimination has been woven into the very fabric of our society, to a point where it seems jarringly unnatural to even imagine a world in which women are treated equally and with respect (women take their husbands’ names, it’s weird for women but not for men to walk around topless, women are members of mankind... we live in a patriarchy, I could go on.) Personally, I think that’s a pretty serious issue.

This deep-seated sexism manifests itself in bold and obvious ways, like the gender pay gap, but perhaps more dangerously, in minor actions or sleights of language, which alone do not seem overly important but ultimately add up to the systematic oppression of women. And that oppression is merely reaffirmed every time a feminist is laughed at for being pedantic or just looking for an argument.

I admit that some women do overreact, and see sexism where it is not present. I’m not calling for reverse discrimination – for the right of women to say and do things that would be

I have in the past been dismissed as ‘taking feminism too seriously.’

Generally, I love my College, but our bar is shocking

unacceptable if coming from men. Hate must not be associated with an equal rights campaign, and I do not support ‘feminists’ who use the movement as a mere veneer to justify hate-fuelled violence or personal attacks.

But anger is not hate. Anger, at the way women are treated, at the way our society accepts this so readily that women are being laughed at for overreaction when they express even the slightest opposition to oppression, is actually quite understandable.

Feminists have a duty to support and promote women’s rights and equality.

it’s around £2.70 a pint. What if I want a cider, or ale? Or a decent lager? I have to rely on a limited selection of bottled drinks, which are more expensive.

There is no pool table, and it has taken a drawn-out battle between successive JCR presidents and the College authorities to even negotiate obtaining a television.These issues sound small – but ultimately they hamper attempts to create a welcoming space for students.

Without them, we are only more likely to opt for drinking supermarket booze in somebody’s room, where we can play our own music and choose from a wider choice of beverages.

So I suggest a much less puritan solution than breathalysers. Students and JCRs need to fight for proper college bars, with varied drinks and low prices, across the board. If this new CUSU building ever materialises, we could even demand a CUSU bar, similar to other universities.

Instead of dealing with the symptoms of the problem by giving bouncers breathalysers, we would tackle the source of excessive drinking by offering students an affordable alternative that doesn’t involve consuming highpercentage beverages at a dangerously fast rate.

Hell, if my College bar was good enough I might even invite Graham and buy him a pint.

We do not have a responsibility to rebrand feminism into something more palatable, something easier for the average well-meaning, ‘I really want equal rights for women but goodness there’s no need to get so upset about it’ supporter of feminism to swallow.

Yes, some feminists are loud, angry and hate-fuelled. But that doesn’t mean that the rest of us should have to balance them out, to watch our every word so as not to ‘overreact’ and discredit the cause. So engage with feminists. Take us seriously. Disagree with us, argue with us, but don’t dismiss us.

So we take all the feminists, and tell them to calm down

Image: Number 10

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Interviews

14

Zoe Williams on the conservative stitch-up Guantanamo survivor Moazzam Jack May Editor-in-Chief

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o the cynical, anti-establishment eye, Zoe Williams is the personification of the media elite.

When we meet, she’s here for the annual Cambridge Literary Festival, an altogether lovely gathering of rightminded (read: left-minded) folk over the Easter break. She’s smart, quickwitted, and seems genuinely interested to talk to me, which is unusual.

As two private-school, Oxbridgeeducated lefties sit on the steps of Trinity College’s fountain, it’s hard to avoid the question of elites. She doesn’t live in North London, land of Guardianistas and ‘liberal elites’, but admits “living in London at all now is like being part of that elite. There’s a real problem, I think, with people pretending that they’re not part of an elite when they are. If you have privileges and then you deny them it’s worse than having privileges and admitting them.

“What I don’t agree with is this prevailing idea that if you’re part of an elite you’re not allowed to care about people that aren’t in your elite. This is a massive conservative stitch-up. If we’re going to make a society that works for everybody, you have to accept that we care about each other, however rich we are, and however privileged we are.”

The idea that we can’t is “all bullshit.

We really have to rediscover talking as people who understand each other because we’re humans, and not because we have the same hourly wage.”

What about Oxbridge? As ‘the best universities in the country’, isn’t it OK that they feed the ranks of politics and the media? “If Oxford and Cambridge had really great admissions policies, then it would be a good thing. Obviously that’s bullshit because they don’t make that effort and” – she leans into this bit – “I don’t think they’re even trying. I don’t think there’s enough effort towards getting people who might not have had the same advantages. And they know that. God knows why they don’t accept it, because they all know it.”

If you’re writing about big political issues, you often get told to ‘go out and do something’. What does she make

of this? I ask. “The thing is it’s the Miltonic argument – ‘They also serve who stand and wait’’. It’s true that I’ll never stand for political office, and it’s true that people who do will have a more obvious influence, but we all have a part to play.

“I think it’s the most important thing on the left. We’re really bad for finding gradations of value, right, so it’s like the person who lives off-grid and only eats pulses, and doesn’t even engage with normal society – they’re like the kind of ‘pure lefty’, and then the person who joins the Labour Party is like the ‘shit polluted lefty’. But we do all need each other, because no massive movement is going to be built by Swampy, [nor is it] going to be built by a party that’s on its last legs. You need everybody.”

This includes Jesus: “Jesus’s message in the gospels is one of infinite generosity and actually, leftwing position-taking doesn’t make much sense without generosity. You have to accept justice, generosity, love, and empathy as the real four corners of human experience before any of it makes sense. Take your allies wherever you can get them. Don’t concentrate on the divisions.”

As a female writer in an increasingly hostile online environment, has the inevitable abuse shored up her feminism? “It would never have occurred to me to be anything other than a feminist, and I made a little speech about it when I was at primary school.

It just wouldn’t have crossed my mind.

I was quite a rubbish feminist in the 1990s – the only feminist conversations we used to have were about whether or not the ‘ladette’ was an articulation of a new kind of feminist or not. I was, like, a really good feminist just by drinking a lot. I was like well look I’m doing my piece, sisters – now you get drinking as well then we can all be feminists.”

And that’s just it. Zoe Williams, in all her well-dressed, Oxbridge-educated, Guardianistahood, is as down-to-earth as the rest of us. If we in the left can stop fighting over who’s part of which elite and who can talk about what, I’ve a feeling we might just get somewhere.

As for us in the mythical ‘media elite’, Zoe’s got it about right: “They also serve who stand and wait.”

Zoe Williams debating the infamous pink van Image: liarpoliticians via YouTube

“I’ll never stand for political office, but we all have a part to play in building new arguments” Begg spent nearly three years in Guantanamo

Julius Haswell Interviews Editor

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“I was a really good feminist in the 90s just by drinking a lot. I was like well look I’m doing my piece, sisters”

oazzam Begg was arrested and detained in Pakistan, sent to Bagram Internship Facility, and after that sent to Guantanamo Bay. Begg was accused of having been recruited by the group to raise money for them, and of having trained at their camps.

Begg was released without charge, and now campaigns against rendition, torture, and intervention in the Middle East among other things. He is now the director of the charity for prisoner rights, CAGE. On a trip to Cambridge he made time to talk to me about his views and experiences.

When asked about the role of the security services in the world, he made clear that his qualm was not just with any spying, but with where the security services operate without being held to account: “Of course every security service in every country has a role to defend and protect its citizens.

“My issue isn’t just about this matter at all. What I’m concerned about is that the British security services have been complicit in torture and rendition.

These are much more important matters that need to be resolved.

“There’s a culture of impunity when it comes to our security services.

They’ve not been held to account for anything they’ve done. It’s interesting, one of the directors of CAGE is a doctor, and he said this a few days ago, that as a medical professional I save lives, that’s what my job is, just like the security services. But as a doctor I am required to be held to account for any mistakes I make, and surely the security services must be held to the same principle. Because they’re an arm of the government they should be held to a higher standard.”

Begg also had some very contentious views on the position of the British

Image: Stephen Melkisethian

government, which is incidentally not uncommon for him – he appeared in a video saying that the War on Terror is really just a war on Islam.

“I also have to challenge the notion of the level of threat. The Home Secretary said the greatest threat this country’s faced thus far is from the Islamic State, I simply think that’s untrue. I remember the days of the IRA where 3000 got killed in this country during that period, and it’s still not over.”

What Begg seems to fail to recognise is that the aim of ISIS is, among other things, the elimination of Western civilisation, and the conversion of Europe, if not the world, to Islam. Given the nature of some of the videos of mass beheadings we see coming from Iraq, it is surprising for Begg to say “oh but look at Ireland, what happened there was bad too.”

Books on jihad and holy war were found in his bookshop when he was arrested, but still he brought the argument back onto the British government: “Britain supports jihad whenever it wants to, it always has and always will. The evidence for this is that Britain supported the Mujahideen in the 1980s.

“They trained them in the use of anti aircraft missile systems. So when you have books that talk about that period when Britain was openly supporting the Mujahideen, you cannot turn round and say that is wrong, because then Britain must turn round and say what they did was wrong.”

Begg on the one hand clearly does a lot of good work in support of torture victims, but his relationship with the British government has been very rough for the past decade. His arrest in 2014 on terror charges only worsened his situation.

As the situation with young muslims being radicalised in Britain worsens, his job to try and protect the image of peaceful Islam can only get harder.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Dispatches

15

Discount chocolates and honey-thick French: Life in Parisian Universities Sophie Collins Dispatches Contributor

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e sais pas,” he squawked, raising a distinctly unimpressed eyebrow.

This man was the coordinator of the Slavonic Department, also known as the most elusive man in all of Paris. Tracking him down in the fleeting 20-minute window that his office was actually open (once every second Tuesday of the month, when a crescent moon had waned and there were exactly four green apples in the cafeteria) was more of a challenge than an adult version of Where’s Wally?

We Erasmus students wanted to know about exams; in what was apparently a homage to the great philosophical thinkers that had graced this university’s hallowed corridors, we had to untangle that problem ourselves. This particular monsieur would unwittingly serve as a depressing metaphor for my experience of Parisian exams: frustrating, slightly juvenile and, ultimately, totally useless.

To clarify, I studied at a beautiful and world-famous university; its Russian course was fascinating and its staff engaging. Unfortunately, the exams themselves were about as satisfying as a flabby, three-day-old croque

The exams themselves were about as satisfying as a flabby, three-dayold croque monsieur Even the gargoyles get bored monsieur and provided even less nutritional value.

After weeks of being told with patronising glee that it was “oh so difficult” to achieve even 10 out of 20, our study of Pasternak’s epic Doctor Zhivago rose to a quivering crescendo of absolutely nothing. Eyes agleam, our professor doled out what must have been the academic cherry atop her shining intellectual career, a blindingly

Image: Moyan Brenn profound exam revolving around questions like “What colour was Lara’s dress at the second ball?” and “How many men arrested Yuri at the end of Chapter 9?” By contrast, Cambridge foreign literature papers expect students to forge new philosophies of cultural commentary in their three hour written exams.

As you can imagine, after this initial exam challenge in Paris I was

positively salivating with academic zeal, and looked forward to the exam on a class with the tantalisingly vague title of ‘The History of the Literature of Soviet History’. It was taught by a deceptively friendly-looking elderly woman with eyes that I had initially thought sparkled with a sympathetic gleam but shone in fact with pure, unadulterated sadism.

“Don’t worry, dear,” she cooed when the mock exam rolled around and I scored zero. Despite jotting down enough to get me at least a measly nine, it appeared that the only way to actually get your hands on any marks was to write verbatim what she’d said during the classes in a specific order known only to her.

Unfortunately, her French was both too fast and too honey-thick for me to be able to take any meaningful notes, so I turned up to the exam armed with a box of chocolates poorly disguised as a ‘thank you’ for teaching me. It clearly worked, because I passed with 10/20.

It seems that my French exams were just like that discount box of chocolates: overindulgent and, when you find out what’s actually inside, pretty damn disappointing.

I’m struggling

and I don’t know

WHERE to turn.

Drop in, call, or email…

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 16 Wise words from a Welfare Officer Sophie Buck Features Contributor I’m Emmanuel’s current Female Welfare Officer (distinct at Emma from the Women’s Officer). College welfare systems are hugely important in putting on events to reduce stress, as well as providing information regarding where to find the right advice and help.

At Emma, the Male Welfare Officer and I have organised, among other things, free mindfulness classes and weekly yoga, which we hope will have a lasting impact in helping students to develop skills to manage stress to find the necessary headspace to deal with problems. We’re trying to have events spread throughout the Michelmas and Lent terms, to reduce the focus on just Week Five. For Easter term, we’ve got lots planned: everything from fun-filled afternoons on a bouncy castle to visits from guide dog puppies.

As well as event organisers, we’re information providers. To make students more aware of the services available to them, at college, university and national levels, we’ve made contact cards with many important details on, and are trying to increase awareness of the Student Advice Service.

Sometimes I act as a listening ear for fellow students, mainly friends, to talk over what’s bothering them. Everyone has their own problems – I hear about insomnia, phobias, excessive tiredness, and depression, among other things. We

really just want people to realise that they’re not alone.

Mental health is a topic often avoided, but this avoidance is part of the problem because in the darkness of silence, things grow. During my GCSEs I was suffering from some sort of combination of depression / an eating disorder / a panic disorder. Labels aren’t important though; the bottom line is that I felt unhappy, out of control, and alone. I just wished there had been someone back then to reassure me. That’s the main reason why I ran for Welfare Officer: to be that person now, for other people.

Particularly within the modern culture of ‘banter’, I feel we underestimate how important all those little compliments and reassurances are. To counter this, I’ve started a new venture called ‘Wonderful Person of the Week’. Every week students at Emma contact me privately to nominate whomever they like. I then post these nominations anonymously on Facebook, for example, ‘X is an incredibly caring friend’.

Only nominees know when they’ve been nominated, and one nominee is randomly selected every week to receive a goodie bag. It’s not about ranking wonderfulness, instead more about sharing the love in college. Numerous people have said that those nominations have made their day.

That’s why I do what I do: to help brighten people’s days. If you don’t brighten someone’s day, who’s to say that another person will?

Surviving exams: Some advice Bernardo Alfonse Features Contributor

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Make use of your peers and borrow or exchange notes and resources with them whenever you can.

Break your work up into smaller, easier-to-accomplish segments, for example by telling yourself you will get through the next handout by reading 10 pages at a time, taking small breaks in between to relax your eyes and stretch

or move around a bit. It’s far easier to motivate yourself to accomplish several spaced out smaller tasks than it is to tell yourself to jump in and nail the whole set of material in one triumphant effort.

Similarly, set yourself goals for each day and vehemently stick to them, just don’t let them become too desperately unrealistic. Perhaps think about drawing up a chart of all the material you need to work through and try to go through a set amount each day such that it will all

s was always an inevitability, the dull drudgery of exam term is upon us. Tired heads cradled in trembling hands, excited to restlessness by ungodly amounts of caffeine wrestle tenaciously with key jargon and fundamental theory in a bid to carve out a fulfilling working life in the daunting years following the bursting of the Cambridge bubble. It’s tough work shaping your future, isn’t it? It’s high time for some positivity, and a bit of helpful advice to get you (sanity intact) through this demanding period.

Firstly, consider your study environment. Do you work better in the confined solitude of your room, or does being surrounded by your hardworking contemporaries increase your work ethic? Wherever you choose, just make sure it’s right for you and that you can achieve optimum amounts of concentration without distraction.

Communal revision sessions can offer a bit of lighthearted social interaction.. There must be more to Easter term than this...

Image:Andrew Williams

be revised in good time before the exam.

If coffee helps you to stay alert when you want to do a bit more work in the evening, go for it. Don’t overdo it, though – if you feel you are craving great amounts of the stuff regularly you probably want to balance out your sleeping cycle so that you’re less prone to bouts of tiredness during your peak working hours. ‘‘Mens sana in corpore sano’’. In other words, it’s important for your mental well-being to stay physically active. Don’t be afraid to break up your day with a jog along the Cam, trip to the gym, or even just a leisurely stroll somewhere to get fresh air and liberate your mind a bit. My advice would be to swtick to a schedule, do the amount of work you said you would do, and then let your ‘treat’ take the form of one of these physically active pursuits.

The most vital piece of advice that can be bestowed is just to relax. Don’t panic and let this emotionally testing time get the better of you. You managed to make it to Cambridge – don’t start doubting yourself before you reach the final hurdle. Stay confident, self-assured, and disciplined. Take breaks when you need them, and chill. You’ve got this.

It’s tough work shaping your future isn’t it?

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 17 Library Fun-time Isobel Edwards Features Contributor

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Racing indoors, smuggling vodka, and hunting for chocolate – all in a good day’s work

Image: Sophie Buck

he library. Love it or hate it, it’s where we’ll be living this term.

So instead of wasting your time flicking through Facebook, why not do something useful and test out our library challenges? (Come on, we all know you’re reading this in the library).

Indoor racing. Where can you practise your Usain Bolt sprint without trekking all the way to your local sports ground?

The library of course! Simply select two parallel aisles of books and challenge a friend (or enemy you wish to crush) to a race. Good, clean fun – the type Cantabs were always meant to have.

Chocolate hunting. It’s everyone’s dream: to one day open a book to discover a secret chocolate compartment inside. Why not devote a morning to methodically checking each of the eight million books in the UL? Stealthy Snacks. Ever smuggled a takeaway tea past the librarian and felt like an absolute badass? My friend, it’s time to up the ante. What’s the most daring thing you can stuff up your jumper? A bottle of vodka with tumblers? A cheeseboard? When that becomes child’s play, take your game to the next level: a tray of lidless coffees?

A pot of hummus? The raw ingredients for a cake that you intend to assemble on site? Let your imagination and your tastebuds run wild. It’s exam term – you deserve a treat!

Finding happiness in unlikely places Katie Wetherall and Keir Murison Student Minds Representatives

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ealing with depression is hard, draining, and horrible: all mental health issues are. While mental health comes in a variety of forms and faces, 20–26 April is depression awareness week, and it’s time we had a chat.

Its okay not to be okay, it happens to all of us. In severe cases we term this depression. 80,000 young people a year are clinically diagnosed, but the situation is far from black and white. Thousands, possibly tens or hundreds of thousands more are suffering. There is no scan or test to reveal the issue, no quick fix. It’s hard to realise you have a problem, and even harder to move forward. Wanting to cry all the time for no reason is frustrating and knackering, and at times, seems never-ending.

Being told to “get over it” won’t help, but then neither will the overly sympathetic smile and condescending tone. Understanding is the key.

Depression is a disease and so should be

Every year 80,000 young people are diagnosed with depression

treated as such, without forgetting that someone with depression is still the same person. Most importantly of all, we need to build an environment in which people understand and respect mental illness, helping people to be open without fear of judgement or embarrassment.

Accepting depression is a vital step towards helping yourself. For me and many others, finding happiness in small places was just the start. A great night with friends, a walk along the backs, the light show on Kings Parade (with free fudge samples). No matter how big or small, they can help to overcome the negative perceptions depression brings.

Another pair of eyes can often spot what yours cannot, and talking to people about issues can help share the burden and make you realise that life isn’t so bad.

Student Minds Cambridge is trying to do just that. It promotes positive, open discussion of mental health and offers resources to those looking for support.

Of course, there is no easy way to ‘‘get over’’ depression. But with a little more understanding, acceptance and hope, we can pursue our own version of happiness. Understanding is the key to combatting depression

Image: Gabriel Davies

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 18 The Freelims Phenomenon: A guide to being the most hated kid in town Amelia Oakley Features Editor

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eek one, and everyone already hates me. No, these aren’t the postulations of my Michaelmas 2014 diary, but rather the reality of my social existence in post-prelim Elysium.

As ‘keep off the grass’ signs are removed in time for the summer months, Fresher englings, classicists, and historians descend on these luscious green expanses in their droves. Throngs of care–free first years ritualistically assume the necessary circular position around the extravagant picnic purchased moments earlier from Marks & Spencer, having decided that today was to be a classy day, with no room for (Sainsbury’s) basics.

While clutching your somewhat dubiously mixed M&S own Pimms & Lemonade, cheersing to freedom, however, the quietly inevitable occurs…

The token overly keen, incredibly enthusiastic and ultimately annoyingly competent person on your course rocks up, and metaphorically slaps you in the face with The Complete Works of Shakespeare, when they remind you that lectures start tomorrow morning. With talk of freedom still ringing in your ears, you trudge back to the library to take out

a copy of Cymbeline, and resign yourself to the next term of lectures, supervisions and 9am classes.

Week zero Examinations: some say they’re a blessing, some say they’re a curse. After all when everyone else finishes their exams, that’s it. Their freedom is in fact, freedom – not a preliminary taster of what is to come, complete with two weekly essays. But still, they’ll mock us, and chide us, and sit three tables away from us in the buttery so as not to hear the tales of our fabulously fun-filled days. Still they’ll ridicule our subjects, our abilities and our workloads.

And I say let them – because if we’re truly honest, the freedom, although not full free-the-nipple levels of liberty, is bloody marvellous. So now is the time to enjoy yourself and celebrate.

First thing to do is to revel in the academic security provided by prelims; they’re harder to fail than they are to pass, they are in essence glorified mocks, and at the end of the day, they don’t even count. Glorious news.

Next thing to enjoy your Easter Term; get drunk in the day, lose yourself on a nighttime cycle ride, find Girton, go absolutely hog wild – in some moderation, of course, you’ve still got to get at least some of those essays done.

Now to ensure you actually retain some of your friends during this time of

Who would you rather be?

Image: Charles Clegg

great exam-based discrepancy, you must remember to limit your gloating. It’s best to avoid mentioning your subject to those who have spent eight solid hours in the college library – which has by this point descended into a Hunger Games-eque fight for the last spare desk.

Communicate only via non-academic discussion. Safe, neutral topics include the weather, food, and Buzzfeed.

Indeed, it’s probably a good idea to escape college altogether. Do any studying or essaying out of sight of any friends still entrenched in full revision fever, preferably lounging on Jesus Green, or perched on a bench in a

Granchester Pub Garden – they’ll never find you there. Remember to answer all questions concerning what you did today in a suitably non-committal manner – ‘Oh you know the usual…’ only translates to ‘Having the best time, stuffing my face with ice-cream on an aimless punt journey!’ to the hawk-eyed few. And finally discover new ways to spread the love – everyone will detest you, so embrace it. Send anonymous postcards of encouragement to your friends’ pidges, drop in a couple of free chocolates and inspiration quotes, and you’ll have tricked them into loving a freelim student without even knowing it.

Enjoy your Easter term, get drunk during the the day, go on a nighttime cycle ride

Dear Meggie, try not to worry so much... A letter to my pre-fresher self Meggie Fairclough Features Contributor

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If I had my life to live over I’d make more mistakes next time

be jealous of your friends at other unis gloating with their one essay a term and six days off every week. It is what you signed up for; it’s in the job description, so be prepared, and don’t expect an easy time of champagne parties and punting (at least before May Week).

There will be moments where you

ear pre-fresher me...

Take a proper look at that quote stuck to the fridge. It’s been there for over ten years so it’s worth a moment of your time. It says ‘If I had my life to live over I would make more mistakes next time; I would relax.’

You will have to work hard at Cambridge, but you must remember that there is more to life than just work. Cambridge has so much more to offer and you really have to make the most of it. Don’t sit and read everything on the reading list, write extra essays and not leave the library.

Instead think and live in the day rather than constantly focusing on what may be lying up ahead. The degree, the job, the future will come in their own time, so don’t spend your days worrying. Pick daisies, sit in the sun, and as, cheesy as it sounds, be happy.

Make no mistake, it’s going to be tough. Cambridge does what it says on the tin and the tin declares itself to be intense, stressful and competitive.

You will have to work your socks, shoes and knickers off, and you will A letter to my previous self

want to give up, like when you have to cycle in the snow or get a terrible mark on a paper that takes hours, but this is what happens at Cambridge and you must just keep calm and carry on. It will all pay off in the end even if the end seems a very far off place.

You are not the best, and will probably

never be the best, and in the first year this really hits home. The University is full of the academically elite, and they will have all worked just as hard as you to get there. There will be others better than you in pretty much everything, but it is vital that you don’t constantly compare yourself. You may be used to being at the top, but will now be surrounded by others who can read just as many books or write just as well; it will be hard to stand out, but that’s not something you should strive to do.

Don’t expect Cambridge to be the reward for all your hard work in school.

It is just another step in the ladder and by no means the trophy or finish line; the hard work will not stop.

There’s always something else to work towards, but this is what motivates us to keep going. Students at Cambridge are constantly reaching for Gatsby’s unattainable green light, stretching out their arms further and reaching out for the greater good of what the future has in store.

But what advice can I give you that hasn’t already been sung. Always look on the bright side of life, don’t worry be happy and remember...

Photo: JulienDft_Photo Life goes on!

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Features 19 The building blocks of an awkward conversation Chase Caldwell Smith Features Editor

Attempted recovery part two: You are finally introduced, and now the conversation actually has words to tide it over. You promise you’re not always this awkward, and then proceed to laugh a tad too desperately, instantly disproving the point. You can’t tell if they are amused so you try to shift the conversation to more academic matters. Henry VIII – wow that guy – the English Reformation was important, wasn’t it?

The encounter: You’re wandering through college, absentmindedly admiring the local shrubbery on your way to somewhere else. Sandwich clutched in hand, you see no one is coming, so you take a clandestine chomp. Mouth full of food, the shrubbery looking conclusively lovely indeed, not a single person to be seen – a perfect situation, No? And you run smack into your Director of Studies. The grave and lengthy silence: This is the very foundation of awkward The ‘oh hi’: Mortified, you mumble a conversation technique. Sentences are greeting that bears more than a passing flowing, grammar is functioning, and resemblance to an aardvark failing to then, inexplicably, the pace slackens. You inhale a handful of ants. Eyes widening, all know it’s happening, which makes it you realize she has a guest and is about to worse. What more is there to say? You introduce you. So you hold up your hand think frantically – the sky is blue? The to stall, attempting to chew as quietly as night is dark? Oh – the weather! possible while the two professors watch, their expressions revealing nothing.

It’s like a spectator sport where you’re losing against yourself.

Attempted recovery: So you got off to a bad start – you can still rebound (note the sports pun). You wipe the crumbs from your face and hold out your other hand with a poised demeanour, only to remember that you’re still clutching the remnants of your lunch. So you pretend like you were just stretching. No big deal Awkward aardvarks – this is a handy trick to master.

A lone traveller

The weather: This is classic building block number two. In an effort to keep the conversation moving, you gesture, Obama–like, to the heavens, commenting on the beauty of that… cloud.

Feigned surprise: With England’s weather falling into two categories – overcast or more overcast, you approach the dreaded lull once more. Desperate, you feign enthusiasm in a nearby object – a tulip or a duck, whichever is available.

The decease of the conversation: At last you take the final step, or rather, misstep. A minor stumble (onto fine–grained gravel or soft grass if convenient) suffices to end the conversation, which is helpful as your social kit doesn’t seem to include goodbye–ing. You wander away, back to appreciating the shrubbery.

Elsa Maishman Features Editor

It’s like a spectator sport where you’re losing against yourself

Photo: FlickreviewR via Wikimedia Commons

I <3 emojis: What your sticker choices say about you Kate Ellison Features Contributor

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s someone who spends far too long staring at my phone, a basic fluency in the subtle language of emojis has been of vital importance. They bring joy to the whole process of messaging, but can also reveal a lot about the sender.

Way too excited: This person loves stickers. Nothing gives them more joy than a new expansion pack and pictures of Olaf the snowman frequently interrupt your conversations, apropos of nothing.

You’ve got to admire their enthusiasm.

forever to load on your phone, but we your group and are determined to use all know that that was the fifth pose they their hard-earned skills. They send you tried, even if it’s meant to look casual. lyrics to Billy Joel songs using only pictures and know how to send penguins Wants to leave: This person really wants using only the keypad (Handy Tip: to end the conversation, but can’t bring it’s <(“) ). However, it becomes themselves to say so. They answer your impossible to understand them whenever message with a safe sticker, like Pusheen you’re tired. sitting in a box, and hope you take the hint. It can be frustrating, but most of us Bordering psychic: Morse code has have been guilty of this at some point. nothing on you guys; you’ve talked so long that you can gauge their mood purely Creative: Their use of old-school emojis through cactus stickers and minions astounds you. The go beyond the simple clutching bananas. There may not be any smiley and delve into a world of stickers award for this skill, but you should feel you didn’t even know existed. They were truly proud of your achievements in the probably the last one to get Facebook in field of emojis.

Takes it as a challenge: Your friend takes joy in finding stickers that by all accounts shouldn’t exist, scrolling through every pack to find the worst specimen. Their messages are filled with horrifying images of fire-breathing oysters and Baked beans farting. However, you feel it reflects their personality pretty well.

Thinks everything is Snapchat: A shocked smiley is not sufficient – only a selfie of them with their jaw dropped can possibly communicate their level of horror. This person’s message takes When the emoji obsession goes overboard

Photo: Peter Benenson

Do you know how to send a penguin using only the keypad?

The perks of MML life include an extra year before being stripped of our title of student, the ability to watch trashy spanish TV programmes in the name of ‘work’, and support from the University in exotic adventures abroad.

I’ve lost count of the amount of people that told me to be careful before setting out on one such expedition. Fair enough perhaps, considering the triple-layer vulnerablity of being a lone traveller, a woman, and a teenager – one left to her own devices in a foreign country.

Even before reaching my destination I noticed a few examples of overexaggerated friendliness. I still wonder whether or not the platform attendant would have been quite so eager to help me to find my train and help me onto it if I had not been such a pathetic-looking lone traveller.

It was perhaps foolish to travel to a foreign country in order to stay with a family of strangers I had found on a facilitation website. Luckily, they turned out not to be mad axe murderers.

A slightly more dubious decision was the acceptance of an invitation from a man in his early forties who invited me to go for a ride on his motorbike within six minutes of our introduction.

As we sped off into the sunset, towards his small farm conveniently situated away from everyone who might be able to hear me scream, I began to wonder whether or not marijuana had the same effect as alcohol on a person’s competent driving capacity.

The highlight of the afternoon had to be the moment when, beginning to relax on a garden chair, despite having refused his offer of a drink for fear of rohypnol, I noticed a movement in the corner of my eye, and turned to see my host wielding an axe above his head. He was chopping wood. Of course.

Apart from dubious encounters with strangers, I found the most noticeable problem with travelling alone was the need to be constantly on the alert in public spaces. A lone traveller has noone to watch their luggage or handbag, no one to point out that they’ve been reading the map upside down for the last hour and a half. If you find yourself alone in a foreign city with no passport and no battery left in your phone, there is noone around to help you in your quest for repatriation.

I have no way of knowing whether or not the locals treated me differently due to my vulnerability. There’s no doubt that I was more on edge than I would otherwise have been.

The experience could have gone horribly wrong, and I’m sure similar expeditions have done in the past. But I refuse to limit my opportunities for fear of the consequences.

Cartoon by Miranda Gabbott

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

TV & Film

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Marvel Comics launches another summer of superheroes Grace Murray TV & Film Editor

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ast week saw the premiere of the trailer of Ant-Man, the latest B-list superhero to join an everexpanding roster of Marvel characters on the big screen. Paul Rudd stars as Scott Lang, who barely keeps a straight face when he announces that he is, honestly, named Ant-Man: “It wasn’t my idea.”

It’s another little nod to the fact that all of these films owe a debt to the occasionally ridiculous comic books which created the characters. With the sequel to The Avengers arriving this week accompanied by a hype machine on a par with the Star Wars remake, it’s easy to forget that most of the titular characters were unknown outside of comics prior to the first Iron Man film.

In fact, the biggest names – Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman – all belong to Marvel’s rival DC, which hasn’t managed to capture the same success since Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy concluded. Take this week alone: Marvel finally releases its biggest film yet, while DC tries to pick up the pieces after a marketing stunt went wrong and the first trailer

of Batman v Superman was leaked in poor quality with Portuguese subtitles.

The light-hearted tone of AntMan is nowhere to be found in the Batman v Superman trailer. “Do you bleed?!” Ben Affleck’s Batman growls at Superman through a voice modulator which makes him sound like Chewbacca. Yes, it’s dark – literally as well as metaphorically, as it’s almost impossible to see what’s going on – but grim and gritty has been stalling DC’s properties for years now, in comics, in film and in television.

Tellingly, DC’s biggest success so far is the relatively cheaply made TV version of The Flash, which quite happily includes characters like Captain Boomerang and had Barry Allen dressed in his red and yellow costume from the pilot. Marvel realised back when they made Iron Man that the most successful comic book adaptations respect the source material by appreciating the inherent silliness of a “genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist” who fights evil in a metal suit. It’s that realisation that has positioned Marvel to enjoy its biggest summer yet, and the first glimpse of Batman v Superman suggests that it’s left its rival behind – perhaps for good.

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> ‘John Wick’ Mike Armstrong

all it The Matrix meets The Raid meets Taken. As you might guess, John Wick is a kickass action film by first time directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch – their backgrounds as stunt co-ordinators making for the slickest movie of the year.

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is a retired legendary hitman, out for revenge as the son of a Russian crime boss (Alfie Allen) kills his puppy, a gift left for him by his late wife. As Wick has nothing left to live for, he embarks upon a crusade of violence in order to make the mobsters pay.

Wick’s re-entrance into the world of underground hitmen allows us to

view this surprisingly camp world for ourselves. It seems that all of the city’s assassins relax in its only safe-zone, The Continental Hotel. Complete with a shady bar and witty concierge, the film is set in a wonderfully fun environment where highly trained assassins meet up for drinks before attempting to murder each other.

Wick leaves a trail of corpses in his wake (78 to be exact). The Hong Kong cinema inspired gun fu action sequences are a joy to watch, allowing Reeves to take part in his most jaw-dropping fight scenes since The Matrix.

Although the action impresses throughout the film, the story in the third act is a bit weak. Wick has already achieved his goal, yet the film continues nevertheless. Some of the death scenes here are unemotional, as a lack of character development and poor acting (here’s looking at you, Willem Dafoe) leave the viewer unable to care about the deaths of several supposedly key characters.

Featuring a star-studded cast, some truly beautifully-choreographed fight scenes and a $20 million budget seemingly earmarked for sports cars and explosions, John Wick may not be high culture but it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Stahelski and Leitch have recently revealed that a sequel is in the works, and I for one am looking forward to watching another short, sweet and Image: David Lee via Lionsgate unnecessarily violent film.

7/10

Take a break with a box set

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xam term is upon us, and that means it’s also time to step your procrastination up a gear.

These shows are for the kind of days when you need some perspective, but don’t want to get it by going outside, or moving. Kick back and enjoy these recommendations from our writers. After all, you deserve a break.

“I watch Friends when I have six hours of work to do. Instead, I watch six hours of Friends. I think I could even call it a revision technique.”

Sasha Cole

“I love Grey’s Anatomy so much that I’m considering switching from English to Medicine. (If Meredith can do it, so can I!)” Ellie Bishop “Mamma Mia is for those days when I just can’t move. It psychs me up and then I’m ready to do anything (and hum ABBA songs for the rest of the day).” Sarah Edgewick “Gilmore Girls is the perfect comfort TV for an English student. Pop culture references are the language of choice.”

Grace Murray

There are four more seasons, but just stop here

Image: Jeff Mason

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Games & Technology

23

An interview with Mark Ogilvie - Runescape’s Head Director of Design Sam Raby Games & Tech Editor

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unescape is a tremendously successful online game created

by Jagex studios in 2001, with over 200 million accounts.

It holds world records as the largest free MMORPG in the world, and the most updated game in history; the third iteration, Runescape 3, came out in 2013.

Jagex’s company headquarters are based in the Cambridge Science Park. Games & Tech editor Sam Raby speaks to to design director Mark Ogilvie.

for the most updated game in the world.

Every week you log on there’s something new and shiny to do, and that’s not a bug fix, it’s a genuine new piece of content: monsters to fight, dungeons to explore, quests to get involved with. We’ve also got 50 mini-games within Runescape that are individual games on their own.

As the director of design, what does your job consist of?

I always describe myself as a manager of goblins rather than a manager of people. I will identify areas that we need to improve or make additions to in the game, and put together a brief. We give it to a designer to produce a solution

Could you give a brief outline of what ‘Runescape’ is?

It’s a mediaeval fantasy adventure where thousands of people work together to kill the dragon and rescue the princess.

Runescape’s also special because we take our story-telling quite seriously; there are literally hundreds of quests in the game and we’re talking about proper, epic, adventures – not just, say, killing 20 bandits.

Is the story emphasis what you would say differentiates your MMO (massively multiplayer online game) from others?

That’s a big thing, but the other thing is that we have Guinness world records Designed to run on, and look like, a potato

Favourite game?

I’m always a sucker for Mario Kart

and I check it over for balance. Then we get the artists and technical developers involved to make sure it’s possible, then Q&A, graphics and development implementation ... it turns into a scrum of people really. Then it’s put together, tested and released into the game. I help people make the best content that they can, I don’t actually design any of it myself any more. There are about 200 people on the Runescape floor and I want all of them to put their own stamp on the game.

I’ll take the pressure down a notch now, what’s your favourite game?

I’m always a sucker for Mario Kart, original Mario Kart on the SNES, that’s my go-to. I think my ultimate favourite game of all time is a game called Laser Squad, which was a game on my Amstrad CPC464, that kind of evolved into things like X-Com today, it’s like a spiritual successor. It’s a good example of how games have changed now as well.

In X-Com today you have two things to do a turn, but back then you had a pool of action points. It’d take four to move forwards, eight to move backwards, one to turn 90 degrees. Then you’ve got to choose whether to burst fire or snap fire, prime your grenades... It’s become a lot Image: Jan Kalab more accessible now.

‘Super Smash Brothers Melee’: Is it possible for video games to be art?

Luke Braidwood Games & Tech Contributor

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Reapers. Technological advances allow the production of seamless, absorbing, interactive movies with branching storylines like that of Heavy Rain. A myriad of plots branch and change with your actions, power, or morality. The experience is similar to an enormous vibrant gamebook.

A myriad of plots branch out with your actions or morality

question that has been asked since there were men rich, old and white enough to ask it: Can X be art? It is generally countered with an even more difficult question, what is art? But don’t worry, I’m going to write about video games.

The rich and immersive worlds on offer include lush rainforests, sci-fi cityscapes, and cell-shaded suburban neighbourhoods. These seething digital tapestries are meticulously crafted by both huge teams and lone wolves. They may provoke a strong emotional response or comment on society: Bioshock for example offers a dark vision of scientific progress not bound by morality.

Plot-driven games imitate literature, as heroes quest for princesses or their planet’s survival, dynasties feud for supremacy, and soldiers just try to stay alive. Abe’s Oddysee is a clunky, quirky tale of preventing your race from being turned into lunch products. On the other hand the Mass Effect series is an epic space opera spanning the galaxy, about intelligent beings struggling against their cyclical genocide by the ancient Of course they’re art, they’re cartoon characters

Art includes performance in addition to emotive and interactive constructions, and this performance can be mirrored and enjoyed in certain games. The famous professionals of Starcraft 2, for instance, perform 300 actions per minute, half the speed of virtuoso pianists, and these movements evolve and scheme in a

complex continuous chess, impossible to learn by rote.

My personal favourite in this category is Super Smash Brothers Melee. SSBM is a Gamecube game from 2001 in which players try to knock opponents off an arena with a wide variety of characters from classic and not-so-classic Nintendo games. The key is its streamlined simplicity, which permits players to be incredibly creative in how they play.

Furthermore, SSBM organically grew a large community of obsessive smashers devoted to mastering the game. The game’s physics engine was unexpectedly harnessed to allow advanced techniques not designed by developers but discovered by fans themselves.

Players may have differing and often very philosophical interpretations of the game and professionals win thousands of dollars in tournaments watched by hundreds of thousands on livestreams and Youtube. These videos, like opera or ballet, are more enjoyable to those with knowledge of the medium than the uninitiated. The Smash Brothers documentary provides an accessible introduction to the game and the stories of its greatest players for Image: alacoold anyone curious.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Music 24 Revision playlist

Review: Marika Hackman at The Portland Arms

Tom Ronan Music Editor

Ben Jones Music Contributor

Here Comes The Night Time – Arcade Fire The sun is going down, the work is piling up and that last energy drink has you shaking a little. While Win Butler captures the electric thrill of a night time carnival in Haiti you’re spending the small hours stuck in a library. It’s not quite as exciting, but this funky number is sure to keep you awake.

n Tuesday night, the ever so slightly hidden away Portland Arms played host to London acoustic artist Marika Hackman. She confesses to being slightly apprehensive at returning to the venue, as her first gig there was accompanied by a fight amongst audience members, and somebody fainted during her second appearance.

Luckily, this third time passed without significant injury to anyone in the

Goodbye Weekend – Mac Demarco “But we never get weekends in Cambridge!” I hear you cry. It’s probably because we left the concept of a weekend behind at matriculation, replacing lie-ins with a pathological commitment to work and consuming extracurriculars. Easter term only solidifies this sad reality. Fear not; Mac Demarco will ease you through with his unique brand of slacker rock.

O She’s got the tools to grow into live performance as her song-writing improves

Wrapped Up In Books – Belle & Sebastian “Our aspirations are wrapped up in books” sings Stevie Jackson on this jangly tune which captures Belle & Sebastian’s bittersweet sound. I doubt the lyricist had Gray’s Anatomy in mind when he wrote this, but it’s still the perfect soundtrack to your revision.

opens with ‘Retina Television’, a brooding ballad of dark imagery and finger-picked guitar. Indeed, much of Hackman’s writing leans towards the darker end of the lyrical spectrum, and she’s playful in her acknowledgement of this. After introducing one song as a tale of “someone who goes to the words to wait for their lover, but they don’t arrive so they lay down and die”, she invites the crowd to join in on another “clap-along banger”.

A this stage in her career, Hackman’s songwriting is still a bit too simplistic to sustain a set which lasts for over an hour. Despite her evident wit, the relative lack of chat from the stage between songs doesn’t help the sense of many songs merging together – on record they maintain a distinct set of lyrical images, but live they lose their uniqueness. One of her final songs was a cover of Joanna Newsom’s Garden of Eden, and given the opportunity to branch out of her ownrepertoire her performance comes to life. A beautiful original, but Hackman does it justice, showing that she’s got the tools to grow into live performance as her songwriting improves. When she next returns to The Portland Arms, in all likelihood with a new album given her prolific output, she’ll no doubt be a star. But right now, Image: marikahackman via YouTube she’s still in the making.

Marika Hackman

NO NO CO JOI NT NIN RAC G F T. EE.

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tightly packed room – as far as I’m aware – and was a great opportunity to see a rising star of British music.

Hackman’s rising profile has been accompanied by the inevitable comparisons to Laura Marling which plague most female acoustic singersongwriters. Whilst her slight, fairhaired appearance no doubt fuels these comparisons, (as well as her friendship with Marling, who appears in the video for ‘Animal Fear’), her softly sung affecting melodies bear much closer resemblance to Lucy Rose. Hackman

Laura Marling’s ‘Short Movie’ Ben Jones Music Contributor

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aura Marling expands her artistic vision on Short Movie, a more multifaceted album than its predecessors. Where Once I Was An Eagle’s songs form an eloquent movement-cum-poem, but a sort of musical rabbit hole, those on Short Movie are moe artistically diverse.

In the opener, ‘Warrior’, Marling proclaims: “I can’t be your horse any more.” If the horse / warrior metaphor is extended to a somewhat trying degree, the sentiment and oft-poetic lyricism are powerful. She asserts her independence linguistically, and her music advances in less derivative, more exciting directions. ‘False Hope’ is adventurous, the harder, faster sound of her band matched by her vocals; she no longer cries out plaintively, but with genuine, primal desperation.

Marling’s newfound bullishness doesn’t come at the expense of intimacy, however. ‘I Feel Your Love’ and, in particular, ‘Divine’, shine in this regard.

The latter is a touching reflection on the transcendental power of love, but also bittersweet. Marling’s capacity to appear world-weary at the age of 25

13/04/2015 11:03

seems surprising, but this is already her fifth album. Despite the advent of cynicism, however, this offering feels as fresh as her first, Alas I Cannot Swim, written at the tender age of 17.

Much has been made of Marling’s time in the USA, where she’s spent most of the last couple of years, but it wasn’t simply a belated ‘gap yah’ of self-discovery. That the title song’s refrain “It’s a short fucking movie, man” was borrowed from a shaman whom she met on her travels adds to this perception, but the message within the words encapsulates why she is now more beguiling, addressing mortality and life without holding back.

‘Strange’ is testament to this individualism, delivered in spokenword and unafraid to confront the ultimate aloneness at the heart of being.

The final song, ‘Worship Me’, reveals a quasi-flippant sense of humour, but the last line is most revealing – “Devote your life to peace, and breathe.”

Marling’s boldness and ever-growing confidence in herself stems from this renewed calmness, doing wonders for this album, just as unease had done for her more introspective first record.

8/10

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Theatre

25

In pictures: ‘Blood Wedding’ Federico Garcia Lorca’s dark family drama ‘Blood Wedding’ opens at the ADC on Tuesday 28 April at 7:45 p.m. Top: Lauren Brown and Ben Walsh, bottom: Ella Duffy, Alice Carlill and Joanna Vymeris.

Review: Footlights at the Arts Theatre Julia Stanyard Theatre Reviewer

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hree titans of university comedy – the Durham Revue, the Oxford Revue, and our very own Cambridge Footlights – came together for an excellent evening of genius and silliness on 18 and 19 April.

Bringing these three big names together in the same space clearly invites some level of healthy competition, but thankfully the evening didn’t get bogged down in too many Boat Race-, league table-, or University Challengerelated gags.

Durham had the difficult job of opening the evening before the large, packed-out auditorium of the Arts Theatre. It was particularly interesting to see that the group consisted of mostly female performers, considering the Footlights have been maledominated for the last few years, and they employed this dynamic for one of their strongest sketches, satirising female representation in comedy.

Some of their content was impressive – the short sketches in particular were consistently on point – yet the lacklustre characterisation in many sketches left the audience less than enthused.

By contrast, Oxford were outstanding in their flawless delivery. Their opening sketch – featuring a TV presenter suffering the consequences of a technological hiccough – relied on immaculate timing to be successful, a feat they accomplished with skill.

Subsequent sketches showcased some seriously impressive dance moves and surprisingly high singing from the male members of the troupe. Thanks to such Images: Johannes Hjorth brilliant delivery that even the weaker

sketches, or those without an obvious punchline, were met with big laughs.

The immediate audience response to the Footlights made it obvious that they were on friendly home turf. As with Durham, the shorter sketches were definitely some of the highlights of the show, capturing moments of pure – and completely ridiculous – brilliance.

However, for fear of betraying the home team, the performance didn’t seem to quite match up to the technical flair demonstrated by the Oxford Revue.

One stumbling block that all three acts struggled with was the difficulty in performing to an audience with a larger range of ages. With usual audiences made up mainly of students, performers can rely more heavily on shared knowledge and interests, making references to popular culture and so on.

However, this does not always translate well to all age groups. As a consequence, one of Durham’s sketches, involving Tutankhamun and a viral Facebook message, and which I thought was one of their strongest, went clean over the heads of several surrounding pensioners who were clearly less wellacquainted with social media.

Similarly, at one point a reference to a ‘dick pic’ actually prompted the most accidentally hilarious moments of the evening, as the woman behind me turned to her husband and whispered (quite loudly) “I don’t know what that is” to which he responded (equally loudly) with “Me neither”.

All in all, the show contained some of the usual slips and stumbles which are the occupational hazards of student comedy, but this did not detract from the charm and delight of a seriously good evening’s entertainment.

<

Footlights Cambridge Arts Theatre

8/10

Review: ‘Cat On A Hot Tin Roof’ Helena Perez Valle Theatre Reviewer

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onsisting of two acts of monologues, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is a play which requires the three principal characters – Maggie, Big Daddy, and Brick – to really carry the action. Luckily, Richard Sockett is brilliant as Big Daddy, and Jenny Scudamore as Maggie does a fantastic job of convincing us that, if we were her husband Brick, we would also be drinking.

The most interesting thing about the play is that the main character, Brick, does not talk much, and yet he is the one the audience automatically identifies with. As one watches Robin Owen limp around on his crutches, drinking, waiting for the click, continuously falling down in his outbursts, one gets

drawn in. He is the one honest character, the only one who recognizes the lies we tell ourselves and each other to survive.

He is convincing when he denounces the mendacity in the house, but even more when he recognizes his own.

During the first act, Brick is apathetic, disengaged, and sarcastic. As the act ends, the tension between him and Maggie increases, becoming violent.

The second act is almost a mirror image of the first act, this time with Big Daddy doing all the talking, Richard Sockett making the whole stage his, but here the tension erupts, with all the ugliness of the truth laid out.

The third act is, to me, a necessary evil. Reverend Tooker, well portrayed

by Steve Doke, is perhaps the most uncomfortable character on stage. If he is supposed to underline the pettiness of all the other characters, it should have been made more obvious. The character

of Doc Baugh suffers a similar problem.

One could almost imagine the play without him.

Michael Flintoff delivers a tight performance as Gooper, but both Helena Holgate, playing Mae, and Gillian Frances, playing Big Mama, are slightly too comical for the play.

This being said, Gillian Frances’s final moments on scene, declaring that there will be no “plan” and standing up to her older son and her daughter-in-law, are fantastically powerful.

In Tennessee Williams’ original version of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Big Daddy does not make an appearance on the third act. The change was made at the request of Elia Kazan, the original director, and unfortunately it seems to unbalance an otherwise perfectly structured play. However, in this production, it gives us a third act with Jenny Scudamore the best performer back on stage.

Image: D Stuart Photography

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Books 26 Alternative summer reads Anastasia Picton Books Contributor

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xam season is fast looming, and students’ heads will be buried in neglected lecture notes, but don’t panic. Take a break with an escapist novel this summer.

In Thomas Hardy’s ‘Far from the Madding Crowd’, Bathsheba is strong and economically independent, yet she still faces the follies of a patriarchal society as she faces three suitors.

Definitely one to read before seeing the upcoming film.” Beth Jamal Zadie Smith said of her novel ‘NW’ that she wanted to “do justice simultaneously to the unruly, subjective qualities of language, and ... the concrete ‘thingyness’ of people.” Read her acclaimed ‘White Teeth’ before hearing her speak at the English Society this term. Isobel Laidler Harper Lee’s new novel ‘Go Set a Watchman’ is the book release of the century. Only her second published work, it is slated as a sequel to her Pullitzer Prize-winning debut ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. Why not read them both this summer?

Varsity: Battle of the university printing presses Alice Mottram Books Editor

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ivalry between the universities of Oxford and Cambridge is legendary. After an indisputable defeat at the Boat Race this year, the battle of the blues culminated at the University Challenge final.

Gonville and Caius trounced Magdalen College, Oxford, with winning answer “hapax legomenon” going down in the history books. Yet, there is an older rivalry commonly forgotten: the fight for superiority between the Oxford and Cambridge university presses.

Considering that the University of Oxford is the older of the two institutions by a mere 113 years, it is important to note that the Cambridge University Press is the world’s oldest publishing house. Granted letters patent

by Henry VIII in 1534, Cambridge has been disseminating knowledge for more than 450 years. Oxford, meanwhile, was slow to the printing race, lagging at least 50 years behind. Jealous of their rival’s printing prowess, they petitioned Queen Elizabeth I for the right to print.

But the power hungry Oxonians didn’t stop there.

Cambridge may be the world’s oldest publishing house, but Oxford have superseded all expectations after their slow beginnings and are now the world’s

largest publishing house. The Oxford World Classics are a force to rival even Penguin Books for comprehensive academic rigour, sitting on Cambridge shelves and mocking our comparable offerings. Whilst Cambridge charge an extortionate £15.99 for a copy of Pride and Prejudice, Oxford sit sniggering with their £6.99 paperbacks. And not only are they printing enviable classics, their Very Short Introductions are the envy of printing presses this side of the Atlantic. Each pocket-sized volume of knowledge is at once accessible, academic and affordable.

However, perhaps the jewel in the crown of the Oxford University Press is the OED. This mammoth dictionary is currently in its third edition, which having been begun in 2000 is predicted for completion in 2037.

Which isn’t to say that the Cambridge University Press isn’t publishing worthy tomes. The Cambridge Companion to Literature series is a fail-safe for any undergraduate, and the History of Political Thought textbooks provide incomparable access to some of the world’s greatest thinkers. It must be conceded, however, that Oxford have the upper hand.

Further, it must be admitted that Cambridge University Press isn’t overly interested in publishing attractive books. Their paperbacks have

The power hungry Oxonians didn’t stop there

a distinctive utility, they are no fuss.

Oxford, meanwhile, are publishing their funky abstract-covered Very Short Introductions, which sit pleasingly on any shelf. Not only are their books more covetable, their offices triumph over those of the opposition.

Whilst Cambridge squat in a post-war monstrosity, Oxford are sitting pretty in their neo-classical palace.

It would seem that there is a lesson to be learnt from Oxford, whose press is the gold standard of university publishing.

A sour defeat for Cambridge.

No contest

Image: romana klee

Remember to read for pleasure Open weekdays Cambridge University Students’ Union

9am-5pm

THE CUSU PRINT SHOP Cheap printing, laminating, binding and copying Old Exam Hall, New Museums Site, Pembroke Street, Cambridge, CB2 3RF

www.cusu.co.uk

01223 333313 info@cusu.cam.ac.uk www.cusu.co.uk

Francis Lake Books Contributor

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finish that Jacqueline Wilson classic?

Or maybe read some poetry and feign being cultured? After all, it’s wellknown that the brevity of a haiku was designed with Cambridge students in mind. You could even write your own poetry? It will be worth a fortune when you appear on Question Time in 40 years’ time.

Or, not that we are given to taking the easier option, continue flicking through those dating app biographies and pretend they are exerts from classic novels. Just keep swiping left until you find that special one.

eading for pleasure? I’ve already forgotten the concept.

At Cambridge, you instead spend your ‘free time’ in Life, with that guy from Caius you always see but whose actual name you can’t even remember, despite having asked three times. You have a couple of great, short-lived hours, then suddenly the lights go on, the music stops, and you wander home with your real friends.

In the case of an MML student, these ‘real friends’ are my beloved, tea- and tear-stained grammar books. Reams of pages on the Spanish subjunctive; how could I betray them by casting a glance at anything else? Reading for pleasure in Cambridge is analogous with getting a First in a supervision essay: an alien concept rarely seen, spoken of with reverence and incredulity.

In exam term you need to take time for yourself, and how better than by reading for pleasure? Whilst Tinder biographies can be great literature in their own right, perhaps it’s time to broaden your horizons. Why not go to the General Fiction section in your Avoid death with a good book Image: Secret Pilgrim college library (yes, it does exist) and

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

Food & Drink

27

Secret Pubs of Cambridge: The verdict excellent pints. This is wildly exciting Julia Stanyard & Sian Avery Former Food & Drink Columnists news, we hear you cry.

D

uring Michaelmas 2014, your favourite reviewers embarked on an epic quest to discover the ultimate ‘Secret Pub of Cambridge’. We left no stone unturned; ranging from The Red Bull near Newnham all the way down Regents Street to the Flying Pig and up the hill to the Architect gastropub, we braved the autumnal elements to bring you the holy grail of pubs: the Perfect Pint.

Alas, in the turmoil of the end of term, our review was lost to the ages, like Shakespeare’s Cardinio, but with more beer. While obsessive Shakespeare scholars continue to fruitlessly trawl through archives, our crowning review has, happily for you, dear reader, been rediscovered.

The Elm Tree ticks all our reviewers’ boxes: it is both suitably secretive, has a pretty ideal atmosphere, and boasts

The mysterious exterior

Cry no longer. It is easy to find, although, despite the fact that Sian had previously ventured to the Cricketer opposite – a Thai restaurant-pub itself worthy of a visit – it nonetheless eluded her navigatory skills as she led us to the opening of multiple shadowy alleyways. We’ll admit it: we used Google Maps. The Elm Tree is a small establishment tucked away from the road beyond Parker’s Piece. While it might be familiar to the inhabitants of the nearby Emmanuel accommodation, and pub aficionados, it’s unlikely that the sheltered Cambridge student will have stumbled across it.

Eventually entering the pub, we were pleased to find the interior struck the perfect balance between quirkiness and cosiness. Amongst the bric-a-brac which plastered the walls there were some unique choices in decoration, including a large and rather hairy

There were some unique choices in decoration, including a large and rather hairy vampire bat

Image: Sian Avery

A

s we all know, and are constantly being told, food is one of the most important factors affecting brain function. So, in order to help myself (and hopefully you) I have started being inventive with my ingredients and limited kitchen space to produce some delicious, brain enhancing grub.

Ten Minute Tortilla If you’re searching for solid, simple comfort food, then look no further than this dish. Think of it as a combination between jacket potatoes and an omelette - two favourite meals in one.

Ingredients 3 new potatoes 1 tsp cooking oil Half an onion 2 large eggs

Instructions: 1. Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the chopped onion, cook on a medium heat until the onion becomes slightly translucent.

2. Whisk the eggs and season generously.

Now pour the eggs into the frying pan and arrange the slices of potato on top.

Keep the pan on a medium heat and cook the egg mixture until the bottom is firm and slightly browned, then place a plate over the top of the frying pan and flip it, so that the uncooked side is face down on the plate.

3. Place the pan back on the heat and then slide the tortilla back into the pan to cook the other side. Serve with a green salad and fresh tomatoes.

Quick & Easy Veggie Ramen I was initially dubious that this dish would satisfy my pretty impressive

vampire bat suspended from the ceiling.

The decor reminded us of our earlier trip to the Flying Pig, whose red-lit warm grunginess is certainly worth a visit; however, the more restrained vibe in the Elm probably appeals to a greater range of people.

Decorations aside, the crowning glory of this place is undoubtedly the beers.

Indeed, this is a veritable Eden for the avid beer lover, which features ten micro-brewed real ales on tap. Of these, we went for the Dragonslayer, which at 8% was potent enough to live up to its name, and the Dark Mild, which was another pleasing winter warmer.

The Elm’s speciality, however, is bottled Belgian beers, which you can peruse at leisure from the menus scattered across the tables. Offering lavish descriptions more often found for wines, we were spoilt for choice (though sadly, not for cash, opting to share one of the 33cl beers averaging around £7).

In the spirit of the season we went for the Bush de Noël, which the menu assured us was the “classic Christmas nightcap”. Of course, months later, the

menu may well have changed, although we trust its continued quality and range.

The barman, too, is one of a kind.

Requesting that the Bush de Noël not be poured out as we were sharing it, Julia found the barman’s reverence of all things beer-related to be in keeping with this serious dedication to diversity, as she was sternly told it was wrong in so many ways and, added in a low voice, that it would “anger the elder gods”. Months later, the wrath of Thor is yet to descend on us.

Torn between the “brainchild of the master brewer Pierre Celis”, the St Bernadus Grottenbier, and the 2009 “best Wiesbier in the world”, Julia eventually settled for the former, intrigued by the fact that it had been stored in an underground grotto for three months before bottling.

Perfect for both normal-priced pints and more indulgent treats, the sheer variety of the Elm’s menu coupled with the slightly quirky but cosy atmosphere makes it ideal for a relaxed exam term evening off. The Elm Tree is, in short, a difficult pub to beat.

The cosy interior (featuring vampire bat)

The Greedy Student’s best recipes Amber Dillon Food & Drink Contributor

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

As we are all constantly being told, food is crucial in affecting brain function

appetite, but it is actually surprisingly filling and reasonably healthy.

Ingredients: 1 nest of noodles 1 handful of bean 1 carrot sprouts 1 pak choi 1 garlic clove 1 red chilli Veggie stock cube 1 handful chopped tsp ground ginger mushrooms tsp five spice 4 spring onions soy sauce Instructions: 1. Boil the noodles – packet instructions will vary so take care to double-check.

2. Pour cold water into a saucepan and bring to a boil. Once boiling, add the stock cube, ginger, five spice and garlic. Add carrots and mushrooms, boil for 6 minutes or until the carrots and mushrooms are cooked to your liking.

3. Put your cooked noodles into a deep serving bowl and top with bean sprouts and pak choi. Pour over the broth.

Sprinkle over the spring onions, chilli and season with soy sauce. Enjoy!

Image: Sian Avery

Image: Amber Dillon

Image: Amber Dillon

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Fashion

28 Classic cuts: Celly’s Salon

Feeling overdressed? Gowns for May Balls can go Gemma Rowe Fashion Contributor

T

he Disney movies that threaded through our childhood often contained the pivotal moment of the princess sweeping into the prince’s vision clad in a flowing ballroom gown. Beautiful creations with full skirts, they were a sign that movie magic was going to happen.

May Balls in Cambridge are an opportunity to live out those fantasies (possibly minus the grand staircase entrance) but they are far from being the only option. In order to justify the insane ticket price, the balls are seen more as mini festivals in one night, and who would wear a gown to a festival?

These events take place on grass, there is food everywhere, and manic dancing should be a big part of the night, which you might want to take into account if you find yourself wandering over to the Outnet website.

Whatever your reason for ditching the gown, you needn’t skimp on glamour. Awards season in January and February saw lots of ladies treading the red carpet in suits or a jumpsuit, with Jennifer Aniston and Emma Stone showcasing masterclasses in formalwear originality.

However, since the majority of May Ball magic

students don’t have a designer on hand to make these garments, you might want to start thinking about having a hunt through charity shops for jumpsuits, or perhaps for a dress which you could turn into a ‘co-ord’ (the fashion term for matching items of clothing, because a suit would be too simple) by cutting it up to make a top and matching skirt.

For garden parties, which don’t last as long so you don’t have to worry about falling temperatures, you may even want to invest in a playsuit, which is the short leg version of a jumpsuit (who knew summer dressing had so much lingo attached?) This can feel more formal or casual depending on the fabric.

Coachella should be the inspiration here, weather permitting, with loose fabrics, interesting prints, layers – and flared trouser legs if you dare.

Floral patterns are always classic, as is white lace if you’re feeling brave enough; but gingham checks can be a fresh alternative, or the palm print that started to appear last summer, and is still popular now due to its slightly seventies appeal.

So keep these thoughts in mind, and if revision begins to bore you, treat yourself to something different Image: Polyvore iothis year.

Landi Wagner Beauty Contributor

Co-ords, jumpsuits, playsuits: you shall go to the ball and wear what you wish

Chop it!

Image: Mark Samsom

Taking out your revision stress on your hair? Is your bun more like a bird’s nest by the time you return from the library?

Then maybe it’s time for a trim.

Celly’s Unisex Salon (52 Regent Street) is super cheap with most haircuts around the £9.90 price mark, adding only a few pounds more if you want your hair washed and dried.

It’s a walk in salon so the only downside is that you may have to wait a while if there’s a queue. The service may be a little brisk for some if you enjoy having a chat with your hairdresser, but in terms of convenience, it’s perfect; I’d definitely go back again.

The new season: Team TCS hits the streets of Cambridge in style

Photography: Maddy Airlie Clothes: TCS Team stash

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Lifestyle

29 Instacam

Images: tonynetone; Juan de Dios Santander Vela; Robert

What are you looking forward to this term?

Having this week finished my Preliminary Examinations, I am embarking on what should be the most liberating of all my terms here at Cambridge. With exams done, all first year English students have nothing to do but read Shakespeare and bask in the sunshine. Roll on May Week.

Alice Mottram – English first year I think that even though it’s exam term it doesn’t mean you can’t drink. People still drink. I’m still going to, anyway.

Join me if you like. I won’t be alone.

Probably.

Char F-R – TCS Chief Subeditor Given the impending hung parliament following the general election, and the exposure of the inherent folly of any attempt to achieve a truly socialist state through democratic means, I am

relishing the inevitable violent seizure of the means of production by the precariat, and will be joining them on the barricades. (I may also have a drink or two) Brendan Kelly, History second year (Magdalene) I’m really looking forward to the CUADC garden party in May Week (otherwise known as the annual thesp orgy). And ‘Blood Wedding’ and ‘Turn of the Screw’. (Because I’m in them.)

Arch-thesp “It’ll be such a struggle dragging myself through the turmoil of a flower-filled, punt-blessed Easter in Cambridge whilst my successor as Editor enjoys the enviable task of coordinating senior managerial responsibility with a season of finals. I only hope I can be

strong enough.”

Jack May – Former TCS Ed-in-Chief Having manfully caught the hospital pass that is an exam term editorship, I am looking forward with grit and determination to the onrushing trials.

As long as someone is willing to come and resuscitate me in May Week, it should be fine.

Sam Rhodes – TCS Ed-in-Chief I’m looking forward a lot of things.

Vicariously living Alice’s life; watching Charlotte and Brendan drink and Archthesp thesp (maybe even joining in a bit); counselling Jack through the brief interlude in his TCS career over coffee and cake; and pretending I’m instrumental to the successful reign of Sam Rhodes, new king of TCS. Freya Sanders – Hanger-on

Image: Finn Dameron

‘I think that even though it’s exam term it doesn’t mean you can’t drink’

Image: Brendan Kelly

Image: Sarah Foster

Take the opportunity of a lifetime Layo

Assurance Actuarial Consulting Deals PwC Legal Tax Technology All degree subjects Voted employer of choice by students in The Times Top 100 Graduate Employers survey for eleven years running.

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pwc.com/uk/careers/fasttrack facebook.com/PwCCareersUK

© 2015 PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP. All rights reserved.

Create value through diversity. Be yourself, be different.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport 30 Rowing’s double standards

We want women’s sport

Cora Olpe Sport Contributor

Kate Howlett Sport Contributor

T

he presentation of crewmembers at the 87th Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race brought up a few burning questions regarding the nature of Oxbridge’s rowing teams in general.

Why is it that there is such a large proportion of Land Economy students on the Cambridge team? And why are so many of the rowers of both shades of blue reading at least their second degree? Why does the website of CUBC have a specific section about the admissions process to Cambridge and in particular to mature colleges?

Finally, what is the reasoning behind the ‘prospective athletes’ form?

It is undoubtedly impossible to prove that admission to Oxbridge is facilitated for potential boat race winners. But the above facts do raise the issue of disparity in admissions processes for those on the river, and those on dry land. They leave behind a bittersweet taste, for the simple reason that universities are not sports academies.

From personal experience, I know about the demands of academia and sport. At some point in my life I had to choose whether to dedicate more time to my sport and probably not get the grades

for Cambridge or to pursue sports on a higher level. I chose the grades but am now part of the University swimming club. Interestingly, the team is mostly made up of undergraduates reading a variety of subjects from Natural Sciences and Geography, to History and Law. It is thus highly representative of the student body at Cambridge.

However, we all chose academia over sports, as such, we are not anywhere near the level of professional athletes.

Why then, is the CUBC so different?

The Boat Race is supposed to be a competition between the universities of Cambridge and Oxford. At the moment, it is not. The members of the boat clubs are not representative of the student body. And it seems that, whilst others are forced to make a choice between academics and sports early in their lives, rowers can have it all. Rowing might have more tradition than other sports, but there are no excuses for double standards.

Image: Richard Heathcote

A The facts of rowing admissions leave a bittersweet taste in the mouth

fter the equal billing given to the Women’s Boat Race on 11 April, on its 87th run, are we about to see a revolution in women’s sport? This change has been a long time coming, and whilst few people are opposed to seeing more coverage, there are few actually campaigning for it. Women’s sport receives just 7% of media coverage, and there aren’t that many people complaining. Unless this changes, broadcasters will have little incentive to donate prime-time TV slots to women’s sporting events.

It is this lack of coverage that provides the only vaguely logical argument for the gender pay gap. This is astoundingly vast in sports. Last year, Arsenal’s men’s team won £1.8m whilst the women won £5000 for winning the FA Cup. Of course, the argument for this is the relative amounts of coverage the two fixtures receive. It’s a vicious circle.

Likewise in tennis, it was not until 2007 that the men’s and women’s singles champions received the same prize money, the argument being that women play three sets whilst men play five. Given that women run fulllength marathons and have just raced on the same course as the men in the

Boat Races, the argument of a lack of stamina does not hold up.

The crowds that came to watch the Women’s Boat Race this year demonstrate that the interest is there. The women’s football match between England and Germany last year attracted a record 55,000 people, unthinkable without publicity. Without publicity, there is no interest, without interest there is no coverage, and with less coverage there is a gender pay gap.

Who is making the decision not to advertise these events? The organisers are surely as keen as anyone to raise awareness, but without funding this will never happen. Just 0.4% of commercial sponsorship goes to women’s sport.

Here is the answer, put in more funding and sponsorship and the problem should sort itself out.

The solution to this frustrating circle of inequality is to show a demand.

Viewers need to ask for women’s sport. The Women’s Boat Race is huge milestone, demonstrating that it is just as exciting when women compete as men. More milestones like this are needed; let the next one be five set women’s tennis matches. Unless this is followed up by a surge in demand for more women’s sport from students and public alike, there won’t be much other than the Cambridge boat trailing in its wake.

23 April 2015

the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport

31

Rivalry with ‘The Other Place’ continues in another term of Varsity action Flora McFarlane Sport Editor

M

ost teams’ Varsities might be done and dusted, with victory having been tasted or just out of reach. However, there are still a few teams who have yet to face battle. Some might look incredulousy at Cambridge’s tennis or cricket players, whilst others are too busy with their heads in their books to take notice of the sportsmen and women.

Nevertheless, these students, who up their training hours in Easter term, preparing for ‘The Biggest Day of the Year’, do exist. TCS provide you with a few matches to look forward to this term.

Tennis Last year’s Cambridge teams were victorious in their Varsity matches against the Dark Blues, with the men winning emphatically for the 10th year in a row. The Women’s squad were tested in the first two days of matches, however pulled away in the doubles to bounce back from 2013’s crushing defeat. The Varsity matches this year have been forced to accommodate Wimbledon’s new scheduling, so will be played at the prestigious Moor Park Tennis Club, 5th-6th July. The Seconds teams face Oxford two weeks earlier on home turf at Fenner’s on 20-21 June.

Cricket Cambridge’s 1st XI have been training hard to avenge Oxford’s dominant display last year. The one-day match was close for the men, who lost by one wicket, whilst the women fell to the dominant Dark Blues. The four-day match ended in a draw for the men’s team.

This year’s Varsity matches will start once again with the Twenty20. The Blues will take on the Other Place at Fenner’s on Friday 12 June, hoping to get their Varsity campaign off to a promising start.

The Women’s side will start proceedings off in the morning, with the men starting in the afternoon. The One Day match at Lord’s will follow on Saturday 27 June.

The final Varsity match, the 4-day game, will follow swiftly after the Lord’s game. This year the match will be held at Fenner’s, starting on Tuesday 30 June and concluding on Friday 3 July.

DanceSport DanceSport is recognised by the Blues Committees in both Oxford and Cambridge and has held a Varsity match since 1974. Oxford have taken the majority of those matches, however Cambridge have displayed dominance in the past three years. In addition to the main team matches, there are open contests for dancers at various levels of proficiencyThis year’s Varsity takes place on Saturday 2 May, from

9.30am to 18.00pm, at the University Sports Centre.

Athletics The second round of Athletics’ Varsity competitions takes place in March, also known as VFEAR. Every event is either in the form or a relay, in the case of long sprints up to middle distance races, or as an accumulation of the team’s times, distances or heights for the short sprints CUAC and field events.

There was an even split down the middle for the men’s and women’s teams in the 140th staging of the Varsity match, with the Oxford men narrowly claiming victory by four points, however Cambridge’s women made up for this with a convincting 110-89 winning margin in their events.

Archery The bowmen (and women) will be taking on the Dark Blues at St John’s Tennis on May 15, just before exams for many of the competitors, who will be hoping to emulate last year’s victory, with the support of a home crowd behind them.

With exercise being a key factor in decreasing levels of stress, the wellbeing of these students might be better than their peers in one of the most demanding periods in a Cantab’s year. The focus of the Varisty matches provides an incentive Cambridge’s crickerters to work hard on and off the field.

Crossword 4.

5.

7.

6.

8.

10.

11.

12.

15.

16.

17.

Across 1. Don’t be ___ to your exams. (4) 5. TV’s Poldark would be a prime setting for a Smuggler’s ____ .(4)

9.

13.

Image: Monika Kondratowicz

Image: CUCC

Solutions 3.

2.

1.

Image: Chidera Ota

14.

9. “We are the knights who say __”. (2) 10. Someone who manages your education whilst at Cambridge. (3) 13. Take away this newspaper’s local grounding. (2) 15. Edmund Spenser’s sixteenth century sonnet cycle. (8) 16. A magazine for LGBT youth. (3) 17. Well-known broadcaster and journalist, infamous for rigorous grillings of politicians and his part in (1 Down)’s path to fame. (6)

Down 1.Cambridge’s media darling after a star showing on University Challenge. (7) 2. The Tories wish to raise the income ___ allowance. (3) 3. Labour has announced a crackdown on people with non-___ status. (3) 4. Do plenty of this to succeed. (8) 5. Scottish slang, meaning ‘to cheat’. (5) 11. Textspeak to express surprise. (3) 12. Use me to wash your hands. (4) 14. A type of cell whose use in research is subject to much debate. (4)

6. ___ pops will be popular as the election campaign wears on. (3) 7. __ Treasury, masters of all things taxand-spend in Britain’s government. (2) If you wish to see the solution, please 8. Abbreviation for The OC’s setting. (2) email editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk.

23 April 2015 the cambridge student

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Sport 32

Cambridge’s women hitting the wall on the tideway

Image: Richard Heathcote

Women make history, but Cambridge rowers find no joy on the tideway Sam Rhodes Sport Contributor Oxford displayed their absolute dominance in open weight rowing last weekend, as the Dark Blue women, men, and reserves all finished the day triumphant. In the aftermath of such a convincing destruction, it truly appears that Oxford hold absolute sway over the tideway, and serious questions must be asked regarding why Cambridge has now not won either the men’s or women’s race since 2012.

The day began with a great deal of media fanfare over the historic new Women’s Boat Race, taking place on the same day and course as their male compatriots for the first time. After Cambridge nicked surprise victories in both the women’s and men’s lightweight boat races the week before (the former by only three feet), hopes amongst the Light Blue supporters thronging the banks were raised.

The ominous sight of Oxford’s Caryn Davis however, the most highly decorated Olympic women’s rower in the world, meant that even the most optimistic Cantab knew that the Cambridge women were in trouble.

Despite losing the toss and thus having the early advantage afforded by the Middlesex bank, the Cambridge women were clearly only just clinging on around the first bend. Oxford’s superior class began to tell fairly swiftly, and within five minutes Oxford held a steady lead of two lengths. This lead was only to extend over the rest of the race, with Oxford finally claiming victory a full twenty seconds ahead of their Cambridge rivals.

Christina Ostacchini, Lightweight Rowing Blue and victor of the Headingly Boat Races, was with the losing team and paid tribute to their efforts. “It’s a far smaller margin than the 15 length Osiris-Blondie result of yesterday – I’m with family and friends of the crew, we’re all hugely proud of what they’ve achieved getting out there and never giving up the fight.”

Caryn Davis, the Oxford stroke and MBA student. hailed the day as a victory for women’s rowing in general, saying “I could just hear so many people cheering along the banks and it didn’t matter it they were cheering for Oxford or Cambridge. Just that they turned out was really great for us.”

Unfortunately for Cambridge, the

Oxford’s superior class began to tell fairly swiftly

afternoon was not set to improve.

Neither of the men’s boats did much better than the women, as the Cambridge blue boat managed to stay in touch until Chiswick reach, although there was always a sense that Oxford were merely rowing well within themselves and simply biding their time.

At the reach a turn into the wind, despite the greater weight of the Cambridge crew, Oxford dealt better and took their opportunity move ahead decisively. The Cambridge men desperately tried to hold on, but once again the greater class of the Oxford boat showed, and from this point on the result of the race was never in doubt.

Oxford cruised home 19 seconds before Cambridge limped in.

Oxford president and Classicist Constantine Louloudis hailed his team after his 4th victory, explaining that he “felt much more pressure this year”, but that his team “stuck to our plan and executed a really good race”.

Whether Cambridge will be able to turn around their dreadful run of form next year depends on whether the kind of root and branch reform of Cambridge sport that has been called for since the nineties takes place.

Stats The first women’s boat race took place in 1927, when the rowers were judged entirely on form and not permitted to race against each other.

The record time was set by Cambridge in 1998, at 16 minutes and 19 seconds.

The coin toss uses a 1829 gold sovereign, with the winning captain choosing between the Middlesex (north) and Surrey (south) banks.

Although the most famous sinking of a boat occurred in 1978 when Cambridge failed in choppy waters, both boats sank in 1912 and the race had to be rescheduled for the next day.

Another sinking occurred in 1984, after Cambridge collided with a barge on the riverbank.

During the war, the official boat race was suspended, but the universities still competed against each other elsewhere.

The first boat race to be televised was as early as 1938, with only two cameras, one at each end of the race.