The Cambridge Student

The

Cambridge Student

21 April 2016 Vol. 17 Easter Issue 1

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

THE END OF OUR PAPER? Five days ago we were told of CUSU’s plans to slash our funding, ending our print edition. What happens now? p.4-5

Owen Jones • The Winter’s Tale • Brexit • Helen Lewis • Giulio Regeni • Depression Awareness Week • NUS Disaffiliation INSIDE:

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21 April 2016 • The Cambridge Student

News

Editorial Team 21 April 2016

Editors-in-Chief Deputy Editors News Editors Deputy News Editors

Investigations Editors Comment Editors Features Editors Interviews Editor Columns Editor Sports Editor Theatre Editor Fashion & Beauty Editor Lifestyle Editor Food & Drink Editor Books Editor Music Editor TV & Film Editor Escape Editor Images & Design Editor Chief Sub-Editors Sub-Editors

Directors

From nervous fresher to fond farewell

Volume 17 • Easter Issue 1

Elsa Maishman Amelia Oakley Stevie Hertz Jessie Mathewson Sherilyn Chew Hayden Banks Lili Bidwell Bea Lundy Lydia Day Victoria Braid Tom Bevan Jane Lu Izzy Ryan Micha Frazer-Carroll Lola Olufemi Sriya Varadharajan Anna Bradley Taryn Challender Lydia Sabatini Jack May Tom Richardson Paul Hyland Eve Rivers Ariel Yuqing Luo Lucy Roxburgh Charlotte McGarry Arenike Adebajo Ollie Smith Jack Whitehead Ed Ashcroft Jemima Jobling Urvie Pereira William Tilbrook Cameron Wallis Rosie Mearns Marie Heinisch Dikshali Shah Helena Pérez Valle Elsa Maishman Jack May Freya Sanders Thomas Saunders Jemma Stewart Tonicha Upham

Elsa Maishman Editor-in-Chief, Lent 2016 I wrote my first article for The Cambridge Student a month before I would arrive as a nervous fresher. I still remember the terror of sending the email pitch, and the thrill of being published. A year and a half later, and it’s time to say farewell.

It would be foolish of me to try to explain the joy that TCS has brought me. From the heady thrill of breaking news to the unrivalled satisfaction of a beautiful double spread, the paper has given me a lot, but it’s been the people involved in TCS who have made the biggest impact on my life.

When you talk to someone every

day for nine months about whether or not pretty cacti count as news (yes, of course they do), you can’t quite help becoming friends. I won’t apologise for the soppy nature of the following paragraphs as this is a farewell editorial and if you can’t cope with soppiness, you really shouldn’t be reading it.

So, thank you. Thank you to the 40, almost indecently dedicated Section Editors, who have put more into TCS this term than I could have possibly hoped for.

Thank you to the Chief Sub-Editors – Cameron, Urvie, and Will – who have committed hour after hour to checking every page we printed, setting aside birthdays, social occasions, and even prelims.

Through all of the highs and also the lows, the three exceptionally talented

Deputy Editors – Amelia, Jessie, and Stevie – have been there with an amazing ability to both rescue rogue pages and ensure that I never had to laugh maniacally in the corner alone.

Please continue to eat microwavable meals and drink out-of-date wine with me, I don’t think I can do this term without you.

Jack. I dread with raw terror the day that I begin wearing tweed and defect to a rival, thus completing my transformation. However, you’ve been there for more 3am crises than I want to count, so I guess you’re perhaps not quite so awful after all.

Finally, to our writers, illustrators, photographers, sub-editors, and, most importantly, to our readers: you are the reason that TCS exists, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

New term, new team, new challenge Amelia Oakley Editor-in-Chief, Easter 2016 There’s something wonderfully fitting about writing a joint editorial with Elsa. Our respective times at The Cambridge Student have always seemed to run in tandem with one another. I, too, wrote my first article for TCS before arriving at Cambridge – firmly establishing myself, alongside Elsa, as TCS ‘keen bean’.

In Lent 2015 we both joined the team as Features Editors and our friendship has thrived ever since.

It has been a pleasure being one of the Deputy Editors this term, working alongside ‘the matriarchy’ of Elsa, Jessie, Stevie, and a fantastic team to create some exclusive front pages, beautiful double spreads, and most recently a groundbreaking pyjamathemed photoshoot in the UL. Elsa has been an absolutely fantastic Editor.

TCS has been such a large part of my Cambridge experience so far, and I am so excited to lead the new editorial team in Easter. This term will see TCS make its annual switch online for the team in order to deliver high quality content straight to the screens of procrasinating finalists, and baffled

freshers tackling their first exam term. Alongside the incoming Deputy Editor, the indomitable Tom Bevan, next term TCS hopes to champion creativity, push for exciting content, and give voices to new writers.

Easter Term will be my fifth term on the team, and sixth writing for the paper. It sounds excessive, I know, but I wouldn’t change a term of it. Engaging with TCS online pre-university is what brought me to the paper, our print editions, with our fantastic teams, ridiculous in-jokes, and hilarious office hours are what made me fall in love with it. I look forward to even more, and hope you do too.

The Cambridge Student takes complaints about editorial content seriously. We are committed to abiding by the Independent Press Standards Organisation rules and the Editors’ Code of Practice enforced by IPSO, and by the stipulations of our constitution. Requests for corrections or clarifications should be sent by email to editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk or by post to The Editor, The Cambridge Student, Cambridge University Students’ Union, 17 Mill Lane, Cambridge, CB2 1RX. Letters to the Editor may be published.

tcd

• tcd@tcs.cam.ac.uk • A CONSERVATIVE SIN

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

It would appear that Cambridge’s number one ‘BNOC’ and current Union President, Charlotte Ivers, is making provisions for the future. This Diarist understands she’s been spending her Easter Vacation deep behind enemy lines as an intern for ‘Conservatives In’, the group of Tories campaigning to remain a member of the European Union, affectionately called ‘Conservative Sin’ by Brexiteers. She’s been spotted at parties hosted by the right-wing Adam Smith Institute, and rumours fly of future work for an unspecified Conservative MP. Anyone fancy taking bets on the next Tory leader?

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS

Browsing Facebook one evening, this Diarist was intrigued to see an ex-Varsity Editor-in-Chief offering exclusive work experience with The Sunday Times. The journalist behind the offer? A former hack for The Cambridge Student who’d already offered the placement to eight TCS team members. Not so independent on that one, then.

REMAINING UNEQUAL

Following David Cameron’s rallying cry, students are weighing in on the EU. A debate between Cambridge for Europe and the Cambridge Brexit campaign is on for this Saturday, but nobody seems to have got the

diversity of voices memo. Of the six speakers, five are male. This Diarist suggests coining even more Breferendum terms, following the rise of ‘mansplaining’: ‘Broxit’, ‘Manxit’, ‘Manferendum’, ‘It’s Remaining Men’,... [enough Brexit puns, Ed.]

My wicket for a box

To Geneva, where this Diarist was fortunate enough to stay with an alumnus of Gonville & Caius College (pictured left) of the vintage whereby the Queen’s Coronation was enjoyed by the all-male audience on the new television in the JCR. Reminiscing about the good old days, the Caian fondly remembered his time as a member of the prestigious Shakespeare Club, an archaic invitation-only society at Gonville & Caius College, comprising a select few college sportsmen, founded with the intention of educating the college’s philistine athletes.

At each annual dinner, the society’s secretary was tasked with finding a Shakespeare quote apt for each society member to be printed on their place card.

At the 1953 dinner, Gerry Alexander, the last white man to captain the West Indies’ cricket team, took his seat to find a rather suggestive epithet:“He wears his honour in a box unseen”.

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The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

News

New campaign to disaffiliate from NUS Election of Malia Bouatti as President of the National Union of Societies has been met with questions regarding anti-Semitism Hayden Banks News Editor The former NUS Black Students’ Officer (BSO), Malia Bouatti, beat the current President, Megan Dunn, by 46 votes at the National Conference in Brighton.

Adil Waraich, the third candidate, received nine votes.

Despite being the first black, female President in the organisation’s 94year history, the result sparked a wave of protest from student unions across the country due to Bouatti’s controversial statements.

During her election speech, Malia claimed: “when we talk about liberation it’s not just about women, black, LGBT+ or disabled students – it’s about us all”.

Yet speculation had been mounting prior to the conference on social media regarding her stance toward the Jewish faith, following her citing the University of Birmingham as a “Zionist outpost”.

This comment received widespread condemnation from Jewish societies across British universities, with 47 presidents signing an open letter calling for Bouatti to explain why she seemed to see large Jewish Society as a problem.

The co-presidents of Cambridge JSoc, Aron Carr and Elena Stagni, both signed the open letter.

She has previously been dubbed an anti-Semite during her work as BME Officer when she insinuated that her greatest challenge in the role was Jewish students.

Concerns were also expressed regarding her relationship with Raza Nadim, a member of the organisation MPACUK – which has been put on the NUS no-platform list over allegations

or anti-semitism – following his endorsement of her election campaign on his Facebook page.

Moreover, she had claimed in the past that she did not support action to be taken against ISIS, claiming that such

of Jewish students in the most powerful forum of student democracy has both shocked and scared me. You see this stuff from Twitter trolls, but hearing it on stage at national conference is something else altogether.”

Jack May, a finalist at Gonville and Caius College, has initiated a campaign Motion to commemorate 47 Jewish Society for CUSU to disaffiliate from NUS Holocaust Memorial Day following the result. He argued on Presidents signed an faced opposition at NUS his Facebook page that: “The NUS open letter to Bouatti Conference has become more and more bizarre, irrational, and out of touch with students action was ‘blatant Islamophobia”. over the years I’ve been a student. The Bristol University’s Jewish Society Matter campaign. posted on their Twitter page regarding “Anti-Semitism is the scourge of the election of an anti-Semitic President is the result, claiming that: “we feel student movement and the willingness of the final straw.” questions about Malia Bouatti’s deeply some to speak over the lived experiences Cornelius Roemer, a former candidate NATIONAL UNION OF STUDENTS UK for CUSU President, launched a poll on Twitter following the result, with 74% of 66 respondents backing May’s proposal to disaffiliate from CUSU after just five hours.

The campaign will call for the passing of a motion by CUSU Council to hold a referendum on whether or not CUSU should remain affiliated to NUS following the election of Bouatti.

In her election speech, Bouattia said: “I know many of you will have seen my name dragged through the mud by right-wing media. You’ll have read that I’m a terrorist, that my politics are driven by hate. How wrong that is. I know too well the damage done by racism and persecution – I faced it every day.”

At least three of the five Cambridge NUS delegates voted for Megan Dunn to remain in her position as NUS President.

Priscilla Mensah, outgoing CUSU President, ran for Vice President of NUS. However, the current holder Sorana Vieru was re-elected.

Malia Bouatti is the first black, female President of the National Union of Students concerning rhetoric must be answered”.

There was also concern at the conference from a number of delegates during the motion to formally commemorate Holocaust Memorial Day, as an amendment to a wider motion on opposing anti-Semitism on campuses. Chester University student Darta Kaleja spoke against the amendment, arguing that certain genocides should not be prioritised; the whole motion passed however.

Cambridge NUS delegate Olly Hudson spoke in favour of the motion and later wrote on Facebook to express his alarm at the opposition it faced.

He wrote: “Arguing that oppression

takes place in a zero sum framework is nonsense. By saying that we cannot recognise the struggles of one group until all other struggles have been overcome is the same derailing argument as the ‘all lives matter’ response to the Black Lives

BME students more likely to be unemployed

Addenbrookes prepared for attacks

Hayden Banks News Editor

Lili Bidwell Deputy News Editor

A report from the Office for National Statistics found that ethnic background continues to play a significant part in graduate prospects, with Black and Ethnic Minority (BME) graduates twice as likely to be unemployed compared to their white counterparts.

For degree-leavers the unemployment rate for white graduates is 2.3% compared with 5.9% for BME graduates.

The report also found that black graduates are paid around 25% less than their white counterparts, which is equivalent to a gap of £4.33 per hour.

TUC, the National Trade Union Council, attributes this to a continued persistence of prejudice in the workplace, calling on companies to review their race equality practices.

Frances O’Grady, the General Secretary

Black graduates are paid around 25% less

of TUC, argued that irrespective of their degree performances, BME students still have a “tough time in the job market” compared to their white counterparts.

“Not only is this wrong, but it is a huge waste of talent. Companies that only recruit from a narrow base are missing out on the wide range of experiences on offer from Britain’s many different communities,” she said.

She stressed the importance of the Government’s task force on racism, in order to “make it harder for discriminating employers to get away with their prejudices, and also ensure that far more is done to improve access to the best courses and institutions for BAME young people”.

The news is accompanied by claims that socio-economic background and regional factors are also important in affecting chances.

This same hospital has also carried out practices on how to deal with the Ebola crisis

Addenbrooke’s Hospital in Cambridge has recently announced its plans to implement procedures preempting a terrorist attack. Following the recent attacks in Brussels and Paris, the hospital has taken the potential for threats seriously and is planning to practise their actions in case of a similar emergency.

After leaving 130 dead in Paris and 32 dead in Brussels, ISIS have taken full responsibility for these attacks and also claimed to be planning more attacks on Europe in their propaganda magazine, Dabiq.

In a report sent to the Cambridge University Hospitals, board members stated that they “seek to undertake a live exercise to test any revised arrangements to manage a surge in

casualties.” They are also considering possible plans to work with the ambulance service, to have a method in place for setting up a field hospital if this becomes necessary Dallas Ariotti MBE, Interim Associate Non-Executive Director explained that the practice is essential, as this was what saved him after the 2005 London bombings. “The only thing that saved me and some of our colleagues was that we only had done a full dress-rehearsal for a major bombing of Parliament House three months before” he said.

This same hospital has also previously carried out practices on how to deal with patients suffering from Ebola, and what to do in the case of a cyberattack, as well as dealing with injuries related to ballistics and traumatic blasts.

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21 April 2015 • The Cambridge Student

News

CUSU budget threatens 1 TCS News Team

An email was sent to The Cambridge Student on Friday 15 April, informing senior members of the team that CUSU’s The Board of Trustees had proposed a radical “reduction in resource allocation for TCS in the 2016-17 Budget.”

This plan would bring TCS’s 17-year weekly print run to an end and refocus the publication online.

The TCS Board of Directors was given two days of term-time to contest this proposal and put foward alternatives, before printing what could be our last regular edition on the evening of 20 April.

TCS asked the CUSU Board of Trustees whether or not it would be able to defer this decision for a year, in which time the editorial team of TCS would take responsibility for reducing costs and increasing revenue. The editorial team of TCS currently has no say in the sourcing of advertising for the paper. Despite having

“commercially sensitive” information.

In the last full CUSU Budget available online, TCS cost CUSU £24,430, and brought in £32,140 in sponsorship and contract income. This constitutes 3% of CUSU’s total expenditure for the 2014/15 year. Throughout the course of the academic year, CUSU’s total expenditure was just shy of £1 million.

Since its foundation in 1999, TCS has always recieved funding from CUSU. Since that time, CUSU has taken on a number of financial responsibilities, including provsions for a full time Access Officer in 2001 and, following a referendum earlier this year, full time Disabled Students’ Officer.

According to Elsa Maishman, outgoing Editor-in-Chief of TCS, the paper “would simply not survive exclusively online.

“We cannot switch immediately, with almost no warning, from being a primarily print newspaper to an online-only presence with the capability to rival the large scale, large investment organisation that is The CUSU Board of Tab.” Trustees failed to provide an theJem Collins, Chair of the Student answer to eight requests for Publication Association (SPA), condemned more information CUSU’s actions: “It may sound overblown, but student media really is vital to both been asked whether or not this delay would university life and democracy, keeping be possible a total of eight times so far, the students informed and holding power to CUSU Board of Trustees has said that they are “mulling over” the decision and cannot This idea was floated on 11 provide a response.

Reduced print running costs proposed April, giving TCS just two

by TCS board members account to £10,000 days to contest the proposal per annum. The last publically available CUSU accounts submitted to the Charity account. It doesn’t just benefit those who Commision from 2014 show CUSU participate, but the whole student body.

“For SUs to try and pull the plug on reserves standing at £376,832.

TCS has been assured that the suggest funding for something this important is was first made at an emergency meeting frankly an embarrassment, especially when of the CUSU board of trustees on April 11, you look at the consistent quality of the and has been taken for “financial reasons”. work at TCS.” She added: “Print media is still of No member of the TCS editorial team had previously been given any indication paramount importance on campus, and that the finances of the paper might be enables engagement in ways you can’t emulate online and it’s important to under threat.

No member of the TCS editorial team safeguard this for future students.

The SPA will work with TCS to help was asked for their suggestions as to how lobby against these proposals, which would the paper could reduce its running costs.

Despite this plan being initially be wholly damaging to the university, floated on April 11, as part of the annual union and itss students.”

Jack May, the outgoing Chair of CUSU budget it must, constitutionally, be presented at the first CUSU Council the Board of Directors of TCS, has meeting of Easter term – due to be May 2. commented that: “We have been put under According to the CUSU Constitution, the extraordinary pressure by CUSU, who have budget should have “been made available given us negligible time to prepare for our for inspection at the CUSU Offices during own future.

“In such circumstances, we have had office hours for the 2 weeks prior to the day to consider all possible ways forward, of the meeting.”

This would have been April 18, however the most logical of which is to cut all ties with CUSU. it has not yet been done.

“If it is the only way forward, we will not In negotiations with TCS journalists, members of the CUSU Board of Trustees hesitate to try our luck as an independent have warned against publishing any student newspaper.”

TCS’s front pages over the 17 years of our print history. Clockwise from left: a selection from Michae

‘TCS: a few sheets o Tom Whipple Interviews Editor, 2003 & 2004; Science Editor, The Times

Nicholas Tufnell Editor-in-Chief, Michaelmas 2012

When I arrived at Cambridge, I was awed by the student newspapers. I had never conceived that people my age could produce something that so resembled a “proper” paper – with columnists, features, op-ed and news. As a mathmo I presumed it was not for me, but TCS took me in, gave me a chance and introduced me to serious journalism. It launched my career and the career of many of my contemporaries. Including, as it happens, my wife – with whom I now work on The Times.

Anything that undermines its quality and seriousness of purpose would be a tragedy. It is not impossible for an online-only publication to succeed, but without the clear format of a paper, the clout that having a physical copy gives in getting decent interviewees and the discipline of having to fill something once every week for fear of printing white space, it will be a lot lot harder.

“I am very sad to hear that The Cambridge Student print edition is facing closure. Editing and overseeing both digital and print versions of TCS provided me with the experience necessary to go on to write for the BBC, the Observer, the Guardian, Bloomberg and WIRED magazine. Print allows for a slower paced, more considered and more investigative approach to journalism. Its focus - perhaps now more than ever is on quality over quantity.

To lose this would be a tremendous shame. I hope CUSU will reconsider.”

Anna Carruthers News Editor, Lent 2015; Investigations Editor, Michaelmas 2015 TCS has filtered across into my academic life – the tightness of print space has made my essay writing more succinct, and my arguments more concise.

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The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2015

News

17-year TCS print legacy ALL IMAGES TCS NEWSPAPER

This was our brave experiment: It’s too soon to give up on it Zoe Trodd Co-Founder of TCS

W

elmas 1999, Michaelmas 2012 Issue 1, Lent 2009 Issue 9, Michaelmas 2015 Issue 7, May Week 2013.

hen we founded The Cambridge Student in 1999, it felt like a brave experiment.

We wanted the university community to have a smart, provocative, engaged broadsheet-style newspaper, one that looked outward beyond the Cambridge bubble while also challenging the campus community to new ways of thinking.

Even back then, before Facebook or Twitter and just a few months after the Guardian went online for the first time in early 1999, we hoped that one day TCS would have a digital presence.

Over the years I have carried on reading TCS online, including during the 11 years I spent in the US, and have been grateful for that digital access. But I would be devastated if TCS was no longer piled up in porters’ lodges.

When the first issue appeared off the press in October 1999, as the last great student newspaper to be founded in Britain in the 20th century, I walked round every college to check it was there in each porters’ lodge.

I watched that week how fast the piles disappeared in comparison to Varsity. At one point I chased an abandoned copy as it blew across Parker’s Piece, in horror that this precious object was loose in the wind.

I slept with each copy of that hard-won first term under my pillow each week. And I have kept that first run of issues from our founding term in a box that travels with me, from country to country and apartment to apartment.

Holding the physical object, seeing others holding the same thing, was part of Cambridge’s imagined community in 1999 and it should still help cohere that community of readers as TCS prepares to turn 20 in 2019.

Here’s hoping our brave experiment of the 20th century – a pile of free and wellwritten words to open, touch and carry around – survives well into the 21st.

Professor Zoe Trodd was Editor of The Cambridge Student in Michaelmas 1999, and now researches modern-day slavery at the University of Nottingham.

of newsprint that became my life’ Thomas Williams Tristan Jones Founding Director of TCS; Editor-in-Chief, Michaelmas 2004 & Lent 2005 CUSU President, 1999-2000

Amelia Oakley Editor-in-Chief, Easter 2016

When I edited TCS, we barely had a website.

Facebook had only just arrived, and the web wasn’t the dominant medium that it now is. Times have changed, but a physical printed paper is still something special. Someone sees a pile of them in the porters’ lodge, idly picks on up to check the cuppers results or do the crossword, and ends up reading about the latest news about CUSU or the university in a way that just wouldn’t happen if they had to actively seek it out online. Stopping the print edition of TCS would relegate it to just another website, and would be a very sad day indeed.

So long as there are national newspapers and magazines still printing, it’s absolutely vital that students can get the necessary experience. People engage with TCS online, but they fall in love with journalism through the many diverse skills and experiences that print media offers.

Stevie Hertz Deputy Editor, Lent 2016 I became involved in TCS in my Freshers’ Week, and it’s since inspired me to pursue journalism as a career.

I was one of the team that founded TCS – indeed I think it was my idea, picked up and expanded and made real and fabulous by Zoe and others.

I recently returned to Cambridge to give a careers talk and was delighted to see TCS still very much alive, sitting in piles waiting to be united with its readers.

I had a very strong sense that those of us involved at the start, and over the years, have built something lasting, now an integral part of Cambridge life.

To go online only would, I fear, be to remove TCS from the institution. Its physical presence is what brings it into people’s lives, what makes it part of the furniture.

If you lose it then, in years to come, you will want to leaf back through its pages and find yourselves unable to do so.

Please don’t do it!

Tonicha Upham TCS Director, 2015-16

It is devastating to see print journalism being sacrificed as a dying artform not worthy of saving. TCS is alive and kicking in its print form. Print journalism, and specifically the flavour of print journalism provided by TCS, still has its place in Cambridge, and indeed is vitally important, not only for the quality journalism which it provides but for Jack May Editor-in-Chief, Lent & the immense solidarity of its successive Michaelmas 2015 editorial teams and writers.

Journalism is an impenetrable world When I came to Cambridge, I had never often open only to a privileged few with thought of journalism as a career. Since contacts. To reduce opportunities for I started, TCS has been a few sheets of involvement in student journalism is to newsprint that became my life. I’ve since deny students the chance to develop their worked for national newspapers and had the confidence to get paid for my writing – skills and find a foothold from which they can forge a career. all thanks to the print experience of TCS.

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21 April 2016 • The Cambridge Student

College Watch

Images: Jessica McHugh

Jesus

Caius

Darwin

Newnham

Jesus College celebrated the opening of a new café in West Court on Monday.

The café is open from 10am-3pm currently, and serves a variety of tea and coffee, as well as cakes and pastries.

As of now, the full range of food planned for the cafe is unavailable. However, in the coming weeks, Jesus’ students can look forward to the introduction of soups, smoothies and paninis.

The café will be opened fully to the public in Michaelmas Term next academic year, in order to coincide with more of West Court being constructed and ready for use.

This is just one of the latest policies regarding food in Jesus College.

Following a student-made documentary about food being too expensive, this term has seen the introduction of a new ‘daily deal’ for £1.60, in a bid to ease the pain on students’ wallets.

These changes have been welcomed by many students, and are intended to bring the college closer together as a whole. It is hoped the new café will have more student-friendly prices too.

Lili Bidwell

Renowned Cambridge professor Stephen Hawking has joined science philanthropist Yuri Milner to announce a new Breakthrough Initiative, which will focus on space exploration and searching for other life in the universe.

The project, titled ‘Breakthrough Starshot’, is a $100 million research and engineering programme, which aims to use light-propelled nanocrafts to capture images of our nearest star system, Alpha Centauri.

Professor Hawking has expressed high hopes for the project. Speaking at the launch, he said he envisions “a successful launch to Alpha Centauri within a generation”.

“I believe what makes us unique is transcending our limits. The limit that confronts us now is a great void between us and the stars, but how we can transcend it. Earth is a wonderful place, but it might not last forever.”

Mr. Milner, founder of the Breakthrough Initiatives, commented: “For the first time in human history, we can do more than just gaze at the stars; we can actually reach them.”

Sherilyn Chew

Many warm tributes have poured in for “brilliant” Cambridge scientist Professor Sir David Mackay, Regius Professor of Engineering, who has passed away aged 48.

Sir David had great expertise in sustainable energy. He worked as a scientific advisor to the Government, and was author of the hugely influential book Sustainable Energy - without the hot air. The book has been praised by Bill Gates as “one of the best books on energy that has ever been written.”

He commanded great respect among both academic and political circles. A spokesman for Darwin College, where he was a fellow since 1992, said: “As a brilliant scientist, author, colleague and modest and kind friend, he will be greatly missed.”

Amber Rudd, Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change, said he was “challenging, insightful and [had] the ability to explain the most complex subjects in a clear way.”

Memorial arrangements will be announced by Darwin College in the coming days.

Sherilyn Chew

The inaugural Rosalind Franklin Conference, named after the famous female scientist whose work was pivotal in discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, was held at Newnham College this week.

The sister of Ms. Franklin, Jenifer Glynn, who also studied at Newnham, met with sixth-form students at the conference, which was presented by the McWhirter Foundation, and discussed issues concerning cyber-security.

Ms Glynn remarked that her sister would have been ‘honoured’ to have a conference named after her.

“She would have been very surprised – and shocked – that her work was finally getting all this attention.”

Dame Carol Black, principal of Newnham, said: “The conference was designed to be provocative to encourage young people to think about their own role in society.”

“It also gave them an insight into what college life is like and we hope it will inspire them to consider applying [to Cambridge].”

Sherilyn Chew

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The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

News

St. John’s College to provide poorest students with grants Hayden Banks News Editor St John’s College, Cambridge, will, from this October, provide those students from the poorest backgrounds with a sum of £9,750 in the form of a grant to replace the maintenance grants scrapped by David Cameron’s Government in September.

Cambridge News reported that the ‘studentship’ will run for five years on a trial basis before becoming a permanent feature if it is successful.

Senior tutor Dr Matthias Dörrzapf said: “We believe that a student who is capable of making the most of a place at the university should be able to benefit from a complete educational experience regardless of their financial circumstances.” He added: “We are taking a step towards meeting our longer-term ambition to guarantee that every student capable of studying here is able to do so and fully supported from start to finish.”

Alumni donations have been able to fund the new access initiative, providing financial support to cover living expenses, expected to cost up to £145,680 in the forthcoming academic year. Similar to the existing awarding criteria of the Cambridge Bursary Scheme, the John’s ‘Studentship’ fund will be available to students who come from families where income is lower than £25,000.

The college has also declared that it will release a new scheme of summer bursaries to select students who fall into a much higher household income bracket of £66,154.

One student at Queens’ commented:

“without maintenance grants, studying at Cambridge would have simply been unaffordable for myself and many of my peers. The Government is lumbering low income students with yet more debt and pushing a good education out of reach for many.”

Maintenance grants were scrapped

by Chancellor George Osbourne last September, with the argument that there was a basic injustice in forcing taxpayers to fund grants when the recipients would be likely to earn a lot more than them in the future. He revealed that they totalled a cost of £1.57 billion to the taxpayer.

The axing of the maintenance grants were decried as “frightening and undemocratic” by some politicians,

“The fund will be available to students whose families earn less than £25,000”

NEWS BULLETIN Bike thefts plague opening of new cycle park in Cambridge

and will impact more than half a million of the poorest students living in England.

Paul Blomfield, Labour MP for Sheffield Central, gave a strongly worded criticism of the way the motion was passed in the House, saying: “No mention was made in the Conservative manifesto of ending those grants.

“Is it therefore not completely unacceptable to make that fundamental change by the back door?

When the new maintenance grant system begins in September 2016, those away from home in the capital can receive up to £10,702. This will then have to be repaid once graduate income exceeds £21,000.

DILIFF

An international team including scientists from Cambridge University has been shortlisted for a £20 million cancer research grant.

According to Cambridge News, the team also includes scientists from University of Zurich and Ludwig Institute for Cancer Research, Harvard, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

It has been placed on the shortlist along with eight other teams in the final stages of Cancer Research UK’s Global ‘Grand Challenge’.

The research grant aims to bring together leading scientific minds from across the globe to answer the difficult question of how we can diagnose and treat cancer.

The team is led by Professor Greg

College disciplinarians warn against champagne spraying Cambridge University’s proctors have cautioned against excessive end of exam celebrations, warning of a £175 fine for every infringement.

In an email sent out on Tuesday, David Goode, Senior Proctor, Wolfson College, and Dick Taplin, Junior Proctor of Gonville & Caius College, said that “over-exuberance” in recent years has “resulted in damage to the persons and property of members of the public, University staff, and other candidates, as well as disturbance to other examinations, and a great deal of mess and littering.”

Students who do not comply and throw foodstuffs or ‘spray’ their friends with water/sparkling drinks will be reported to the Board of Examinations, which may fine candidates up to £175 per infringement. Might be best to save your champagne for the celebration dinner.

Cambridge to host student hackathon this weekend

University scientists shortlisted for cancer research Sherilyn Chew News Editor

There have already been three bicycle thefts reported in the new cycle park next to the train station in Cambridge.

This is the largest cycle park in the country, and has recently finished construction.

The new cycle storage facility is regularly patrolled by guards in addition to having CCTV cameras installed.

However, despite numerous efforts to deter thieves and increase security, three bikes were stolen in the span of just a few days.

Nevertheless, figures have shown that although bike thefts still occur, they are less frequent than in previous months before the park was completed, with just eight bikes stolen in January, compared with 17 in November.

Hannon, who is a group leader at Cancer Research UK Cambridge Institute.

Their goal is to develop accurate and clear 3D maps of tumours in a virtual reality experience. That will allow scientific researchers to ‘walk around’ inside a tumour, and clearly visualise how individual cells adapt to their environment.

The team will place its initial focus on breast cancer – a complex disease with at least 10 different subtypes.

Prof Hannon expressed his enthusiasm about the project, remarking: “This is an incredible opportunity to look at cancer in a whole new way.”

“The scale of the award allows us to bring together the best international collaborators with enough resources to propel a bold new initiative.”

“We look forward to the chance to convince the selection committee that

“An incredible opportunity to look at cancer in a whole new way”

our team is ready for such a challenge.”

The approach will pave a new way for both scientists and doctors to understand how each cancer develops as well as predict the impact of treatment.

It would also have great implications for how patients are diagnosed and treated.

The team will receive seed-funding to draft their full research proposal, and the winning proposal will be announced later this year.

Sir Harpal Kumar, Cancer Research UK’s chief executive, said: “One of the driving forces behind our ‘Grand Challenge’ is the ambition to unite researchers from all sciences around the world so that they can come up with game-changing ideas to solve cancer’s most challenging questions.

“We’re delighted that our shortlist includes so many talented and multidisciplinary teams.”

Cambridge University will be hosting a hackathon involving students from 10 UK universities this Saturday 23 April, following a similar activity called ‘Cambridge2Cambridge’ between MIT and Cambridge University last month.

Among the universities attending will be Imperial College, University College London and University of Oxford. Dr Frank Stajano, reader in security and privacy at the University of Cambridge’s Computer Laboratory, explained that the goal of the hackathons is to bridge the skill gap in cybersecurity.

He commented: “There has been a tremendous response from both the institutions and the students.”

University Library celebrating 400 years of Shakespeare

Cambridge University Library is to celebrate 400 years since Shakespeare’s death with a public exhibition entitled ‘Shakespeare for All Ages and All Times’.

The aim of the event is to re-inspire debate and discussion around the playwright’s works with John Wells, manuscripts and exhibitions officer at the UL, commenting: “each student is taking a completely different angle in demonstrating how Shakespeare can be used to investigate a wide range of topics”.

The event will last for two hours and will consist of rolling 10-minute talks, which members of the public can attend freely.

It will take place on 23 April, which is the exact anniversary of Shakespeare’s death.

8

21 April 2016 • The Cambridge Student

Investigations

Cambridge campaigns: Where are they now?

Light at the end of the tunnel?

Jane Lu Investigations Editor Cambridgeshire county council proposed in November 2015 to switch off Cambridge’s streetlights from midnight until 6am as part of a costcutting measure.

It was set to start from April this year and was estimated to save £270,000 each year. The roads affected included Garret Hostel Lane, Grange Road and Trinity Lane.

The council defended the move, arguing that it was a “difficult” decision, necessary as “part of the overall business plan that has required savings of over £40m across all services this year.”

Launched in response to the decision, the campaign ‘Keep the Street Lights On: Cambridge’ argued that the local council “fails to acknowledge that this poses significant danger to Cambridge’s population, student and permanent residents alike”, citing cycling accidents and sexual attacks as two potential dangers.

Petitions and protests were launched

by the campaign to raise awareness and gather support for the cause.

A ‘Freedom of Information Request’ submitted by the campaign to Cambridge city council further revealed that the choice of times and roads affected was not evidence-based.

According to the council: “There is no data on the precise hourly traffic volume changes on every residential road in the county”.

Following pressure from the campaign, on 12 January, county councillors agreed to contribute £100,000 of extra funding to keep Cambridge streetlights on until 2am.

As part of the agreement, lights on main traffic routes and areas affected by night-time economy will be kept on. Dimming of streetlights is also part of the agreement.

Since 2 April 2016, Cambridge streetlights have been switched off in residential areas between 2am and 6am every night.

Discussions are still ongoing regarding the city council’s offer to fund the cost of keeping streetlights on between 2am and 6am.

DMN VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

ALBERT BRIDGE

‘Boycott Gardies’ gets results Victoria Braid Investigations Editor In March last year, the ‘Boycott Gardies’ Facebook page was created following allegations of sexual harassment against an employee. The campaign aimed to launch an internal investigation into the incident, as well as encouraging CCTV to be reviewed or installed. The campaign escalated as the page received over 1000 ‘likes’ in less than 24 hours. The owner of Gardies, Vas Anastasiou, commented to The Cambridge Student that starting a boycott without prior communication was “not fair”.

The then CUSU Women’s Officer elect, Charlie Chorley, commented: “Unfortunately, this is not the first testimony that I have heard about bad experiences in Gardies. It seems that the establishment has a history of sexist and entirely inappropriate actions towards women.”

However, the campaign came to a speedy end as the next day, Vas Anastasiou, released a statement apologising and conceding to the full

demands of the campaign.

CCTV footage was to be studied and a new code of conduct imposed upon the employees. A website for Gardies was to be created, with a complaints procedure, so that any future concerns could be easily reported.

The site has since been expanded and the complaints procedure is to be found under the ‘About Us’ tab.

Whilst it is not explicitly indicated as being a way of sending a complaint or concern, it is labelled as a ‘Tell the Boss’ feature, and enables messages to be sent directly to Vas Anastasiou.

The caption on the site reads: “You may use this functionality to send a message directly to the owner of The Gardenia Restaurant.”

In the final post on the ‘Boycott Gardies’ website before it was deactivated, the founder of the page said that anyone who continued to be subjected to what the campaign was set up to combat was encouraged to “either make use of the new complaints procedure on the Gardies website... or to contact the CUSU Women’s Campaign to investigate.”

in step with developments?

So simple, yet so much fun. But not all slinkies are created equal.

How should a slinky be designed to work well?

Structure and material properties? Geometry? Step size?

Is there a better approach than a long spring?

And what is good performance anyway?

There is no answer at the back of the book.

Discuss your approach to this and the real problems you could be solving at TTP every day. explore@ttp.com

Apply yourself.

Explore TTP. www.ttp.com

9

The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

News

Poor referencing costs exam marks

NEWS BULLETIN

University heading £2.7m Almost 80% of UK students are concerned about referencing, with a ‘plagiarism epidemic’ Project Superspin Sherilyn Chew News Editor Incorrect referencing is costing marks for half of the UK’s university students, according to a new study on student attitudes regarding plagiarism.

Citation tool RefME, which polled over 2000 of the country’s students, said that almost 80% of students have concerns about referencing correctly.

According to The Independent, 71% of those polled said they were concerned about disciplinary actions for plagiarism.

Almost half of the students polled attributed their concerns to a lack of of information on proper referencing practices.

Interestingly, while 90% said that paying for a ‘ghostwriter’ to do their work for them would be branded as academic misconduct, more than 20% were unable to identify this as an act of plagiarism.

RefMe commented that: “This widespread concern over facing disciplinary actions can be easily avoided by simply learning to reference correctly and accurately.”

In fact, The Times has reported in recent months that there is a “plagiarism epidemic” among British universities, with almost 50,000 students called out for cheating over the past three years.

A spokesperson for Kent University took a strong stance on the issue, telling the Independent that the

University would “not tolerate academic misconduct.”

“We take appropriate action against those who we find to be cheating, and continued infringement will result in expulsion from the university.”

However, RefME added that more university students are turning to referencing tools to assist them while doing their work. Almost half of students polled said they use a referencing tool, with 44% saying they used plagiarism tools to check their work before they submitted it.

Tom Hatton, CEO and founder of RefME, said that he had been penalised in his university work as well for “citing incorrectly”.

“We want students to do better research knowing... they can use such tools.”

“Based on these findings, it’s a real problem that tools like RefME are trying to solve...we want students to do better research by knowing that they can use such tools to help them along their research journey.”

In a 2008 poll of Cambridge students, almost half of the respondents admitted to plagiarism in their work, such as using ‘ghostwriters’ or directly copying information from the web without a citation.

More recently in 2015, a Cambridge graduate was stripped of his degree after being found guilty of plagiarism by the University tribunal, having used another person’s results for his Master of Research project.

CHENSIYUAN

Cambridge University has spoken out to defend its use of unborn lambs in scientific experiments, arguing that it is vital for further research into understanding fatal human diseases.

However, the campaign group ‘Cruelty Free International’ (CFI) has lashed out at the experiments.

The campaign group has not minced their words, branding the experiments, which include cutting open sheep uteruses, and putting animals into low oxygen chambers for 33 days, “grotesque and invasive”.

Cambridge University has not denied the allegations about the experiments or the techniques used.

However, the University has sought to justify its work by arguing that the use of animals is essential to developing “our understanding of health and disease.”

Speaking to The Cambridge News,

Earl of Wessex enjoys a match of Real Tennis Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex, visited Cambridge over the weekend to watch a match of Real Tennis.

Members of the Cambridge University Real Tennis Club were playing a game of the sport – which has been called a mixture of Quidditch and squash – on the main site, named the Green Court. The match was held to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the sport.

The earl was a spectator at a match between students and Real Tennis veterans, with the event followed by a gala dinner at Trinity College. Club member Lily Bacon told The Cambridge News: “It’s great. The balls fly all over the place at over 100mph.”

She added: “The Earl was on great form. It was a huge pleasure to host him.”

Oxford urged to provide online courses

Cambridge defends experiments on unborn lambs Bea Lundy Deputy News Editor

Cambridge University is leading a £2.7m project with a grant from the Engineering and Physical Science Research Council, which aimes to develop more energy efficient supercomputers.

Called ‘Project Superspin’, the project aims to produce protoype devices by 2021, that can be used in ‘supercomputers’, which should be able to crunch a lot of data at much lower energy costs than today’s models.

While work on this goal is already underway in other countries, the University says it is aiming to transform the UK into a centre for research in this emerging field.

It aims to do so by collaborating more extensively with other UK institutions, such as Cambridge’s Cavendish Laboratory, and Royal Holloway, a college within the University of London.

a spokesman for the University commented that the “ultimate goal” of the experiments is to “improve identification of individuals at risk of life-shortening conditions, as a result of their early life environment, and to offer potential therapeutic interventions to reduce this risk.”

The impact of such research will be wide-ranging, and “will have implications for both human and veterinary medicine.”

He explained that, for instance, babies with low birth-weights will face a “greater risk of developing diabetes and high blood pressure in later life.”

“Our researchers are investigating how and why this occurs by looking at fetal development and early newborn life in a range of animals, from mice through to sheep.”

CFI has also produced figures which show the University is licensed to use 11,050 animals over a five-year period for the research, including 1,250 sheep

“...human suffering should also be taken into account.”

and 150 pigs.

The spokesman said that in practice, the number of animals used for experimentation would be “significantly fewer”.

He commented: “Our research is scrutinised by the Animal Welfare and Ethical Review Body, who strive to reduce the number of animals used.”

While CFI has been clear on its views, one second-year Modern and Medieval Languages undergraduate (who wished to remain anonymous) disagreed with their statement.

“If this work is going to have a real impact on people’s lives, and if it can prevent human suffering, it seems clear the experiments should be allowed to continue.”

The student added: “I obviously don’t like animals suffering, but human suffering should also be taken into account.” A different student disagreed saying “We must ask if this truly necessary or a research choice.”

Professor Laurence Brockliss, official historian of Oxford University, has commented in an interview with The Guardian that students should be able to do degree courses online.

He suggested that the University consider a pilot scheme, and allow over 1,000 18-year-olds across different subjects to test it.

He cautioned that Oxford might become “redundant” in the future if it did not do so. He also said it could help in solving access issues, particularly after Prime Minister David Cameron urged the University to accept students from a wider range of backgrounds.

Prof Brockliss said: “That kind of initiative would really take off ” in 10-15 years, if newer universities developed online courses in a “serious and creative way”.

Cambridge gearing up for Queen’s 90th birthday Cambridge communities are starting preparations for the Queen’s 90th birthday in typical British fashion, with tea and cakes. Residents in Ditton Court will hold a birthday party in honour of Her Majesty.

In Cambridge, Shire Hall will host a beacon lighting at 7.45pm.

Before the celebrations commenced, the Duke of Cambridge, who is the Queen’s grandson, paid a touching tribute to his grandmother, thanking her for being “incredibly supportive” while also revealing the chiding he got after riding a quad bike.

10

21 April 2016 • The Cambridge Student

Features

Don’t take travel freedom for granted Anna Bradley Features Editor

W

ant a holiday that’s on as tight a budget as possible? Then you almost definitely would have to have it in the EU. We’ve grown up in a country that’s part of the European Union, so we take it for granted that we can just hop across the Channel and be eating frogs in France, pizza in Italy, and paella in Spain.

This Easter, I went to Budapest: the flights were cheap, there was no visa charge and no hassle either. It meant that, for less than about £200 in total, (including food and leisure expenses) I could spend five days exploring a fantastic city.

True, we were going off-season and we paid for it with the weather, but it was still so easy. Much easier than a trip I tried to plan around South East Asia that involved applying in advance for visas and the extra expense of actually paying for them.

It isn’t just that either: people can be hostile enough to a British tourist – and anyone who’s ever seen an episode of

We’d be putting out a clear message of superiority

BBC3’s Sun, Sex, and Suspicious Parents can understand that. But imagine being a British tourist in Europe following Brexit?

What would follow, essentially, a rejection of another 27 countries?

I don’t know about you, but I think the hostility would multiply tenfold, and quite rightly so. We’d be putting out a clear message that we are superior, that we don’t need the other countries – actually, we’d be better off without them.

Travelling to the continent, the attitude towards Europe is very different. I spent last year in a school in the south of Italy and there was a different Erasmus project going on every week.

It wasn’t just an exchange, it was a gathering of four or five different countries together in one school, all there to contribute to a joint project.

They saw Europe and the EU as a great opportunity, a chance to learn more about others and simultaneously learn how to cooperate with them. To me, that sounds like a pretty good approach.

Should we stay o

SIMON TURKAS

Brexit problems: What about the German beer and Danish pastries?

Carl Wikeley

U

nsurprisingly for a man who is seemingly so averse to using a comb, Boris Johnson has wound himself up in a knot of deceit and lies with the ‘Brexit’ campaign. His arguments, often based solely on economic and security grounds, are disingenuous, and neglect the important factors of science, culture, and education.

To hear the Brexit campaign call proEU leaflets “propaganda” is hypocritical, given their opportunistic approach.

Before discussing the importance of the EU to science and culture, it is worth dismantling the rotten core upon which the Leave campaign is built. Leave leaders claim that Brexit would divert £350m a week into the NHS. The figure itself is wrong, since, even after rebate reductions, it barely reaches £161m. This is a drop in the quickly haemorrhaging blood-bag of the NHS. Hypocritically, Johnson has often asserted his belief in a fee-paying NHS. Don’t be fooled – they don’t have your best interests at heart.

The arguments to remain go beyond economic grounds. While it is true that if 10% of workers in the City lost their jobs, the government would lose around £3bn in employment taxes, the strongest reasons to remain lie elsewhere. The EU provides the frame for the continued fight against rare diseases, with the CTR enabling access to over 500 million patients.

As students, it is easy to forget the cultural and economic benefits of remaining in the EU. Our ability to study abroad, beyond enabling the consumption of yards of German beer and delicious Danish pastries, is proven to benefit future employment and awareness of other cultures. Similarly, the 125,000 students currently studying in Britain could fall by up to 50%, removing cultural exchange, numerous economic benefits, and leading to a destructive isolationism.

We must highlight these neglected arguments for remaining in Europe, say no to the ugly, reactionary boyband that is Johnson, Galloway, and Farage, and work hard to achieve a Europe to be proud of.

GUY MOLL

The Cambridge Student 21 April 2016

Part 2

5 9 11

Exam term playlist Sex by numbers Best of Cambridge ice cream ILLUSTRATION: ALICE LAW

2

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

Culture Modern media: Are we slaves to streaming?

Grace Dickinson

T

he latest BBC series to grip the nation, The Night Manager, opened my eyes not only to Tom Hiddleston’s (acting) range, but also made me somewhat frustrated; having to wait an entire week for the next instalment was more exasperating than episode four… I recall my childhood with its fond memories of patiently rewinding the VHS of my favourite Disney Classics. Now, the buffering image fills me with impatient dread.

Television companies are starting to realize that it is going to take something special to guarantee people will sit down to watch at the broadcast time. Even the instantstreaming services are auctioning for Hollywood’s most revered directors to fend off competition. But have services like Netflix, Amazon Prime and iPlayer made us submissive streamers regardless of quality? Or has the easy access to a plethora of content forced rival on-demand services to compete for our loyalty, money and time?

Imagine this familiar setting: it’s the weekend and you fancy some alone “Netflix and Chill” time, (in the PG-rated sense). You don’t even need to get off your sofa to decide

what to watch; pizza slice in one hand, you exert yourself by lifting a finger to swipe through an over-abundance of films and TV shows. Then you think, “I’ll watch Inglorious Basterds”. You exert extra effort by typing in the search box to be greeted with the words no paying Netflix customer wants to see: “Titles related to X”.

Two hours later, you realize the sad truth: that you have wasted your time watching a film you had no previous desire or intention to see. The unfortunate irony is that it was probably being shown on ITV 2. As you scroll through the abstract and tenuously named genres on Netflix, including ‘absurd films’ and ‘exciting films’ to name but two, it quickly becomes clear that the content can be organised into three categories: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Scrolling through the ‘drama’ row you find critically acclaimed films like The Wolf of Wall Street and The Shawshank Redemption standing shoulder to shoulder with Adam Sandler in Spanglish. Like Tinder, the more you swipe left, the further you stare into the abyss.

A greater guarantee of finding quality viewing lies in the ‘originals’ section. Considering that there is quite a

significant crossover in content between the two pillars of streaming services, Netflix and Amazon Prime, their original content is most prone to judgement. Both services have invested a great deal in securing A-list directors, to ensure that they can compete in the instant-access arena.

On Amazon Prime, Man in the High Castle, a dystopian drama based on Philip K. Dick’s novel which imagines that the Axis Powers had won World War Two, is online original content at its best. Boasting Ridley Scott as an executive producer, the Amazon studios could sleep easy knowing their flagship original programme would likely be a success.

Netflix is not ignorant to this competition. Later this year, in addition to all the great original content Netflix has produced up to this point, Baz Luhrmann’s first online series, The Get Down, a musical-drama set in late 70s New York, will be available on the network.

In a statement, Luhrmann outlined his appeal to move to this modern media: “…the Netflix culture puts no constraint on creative possibilities.” That much is clear.

Online streaming has no limits, but it needs competition to ensure quality over quantity.

You should read... A step in the right direction for Zayn Arenike Adebajo Books Editor Here’s a selection of five great books to look out for this term. Exam term may be here, but we all need to make some time for ourselves, and to remember that books can make us happy.

Girl Up by Laura Bates From the pressures of unrealistic beauty standards to navigating the tricky world of social media, girls today have a hard growing up. Laura Bates, author of Everyday Sexism, says screw it to all that in this hilarious and insightful work.

Selection Day by Aravind Adiga Set in modern day Mumbai, Selection Day is the story of Manju Kumar, a 14-year-old boy who’s just trying to figure life out. He resents his domineering father, looks up to his brilliant older brother Radha, and finds himself captivated by the curious world of forensic science.

The Bricks That Built the Houses by Kate Tempest A group of young Londoners go on the run, hoping to put the complications and tedium of their lives behind them.

This exciting debut by award-winning rapper Kate Tempest is a gripping tale of drugs, alienation and desire.

One Young Man by Edmund White Gorgeous Frenchman Guy moves to New York to pursue a career in modelling, and becomes the darling of the fashion world and the gay community of Fire Island. Spanning from the giddy heights of the disco era to the AIDs crisis, One Young Man is a witty and profound exploration of gay culture, love and memory.

The Gene: An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee From the author of The Emperor of All Maladies comes an expansive chronicle of the gene, brilliantly interwoven with science, sociology, and his own family’s tragic history of mental illness. Mukherjee deftly animates the journey of our quest towards understanding human heredity.

Magdalen Christie

T

he intro track to Mind of Mine invites us to ‘open up and see what’s inside of my mind’.

Indeed, Zayn’s first solo album since leaving One Direction back in March 2015 offers a glimpse into the mind of the famously most introverted, most handsome, and arguably most musically talented member of the boyband. For a first album, it would be fair to say it’s admirable.

Many of the tracks show influences of The Weeknd, with sleepy sounding, trance-like beats and synths accompanying very high vocal notes. This is best heard in my favourite tracks from the album: ‘iT’s YoU’, and ‘BLUE’. There’s a hint of Frank Ocean in the mix, perhaps thanks to the collaboration with Ocean’s producer., James ‘Malay’ Ho. It’s a welcome style, where bluesy chords on an organ introduce ‘iT’s YoU’, with Zayn’s masterful falsetto singing wandering above. ‘BLUE’ plays cleverly with the chords from J. S. Bach’s C Major Prelude, which mix with the electronic sound of Zayn singing over it, changing the harmony in unexpected and tantalising ways.

The rest of the tracks feature a range of styles, as Zayn seems to be experimenting with his new found artistic freedom. Although a few tracks stand out – ‘PILLOWTALK’ and ‘LIKE I WOULD’ have been most successful in the charts – ‘tRuTh’ and ‘BefoUr’ are more interesting. The latter has a great start once the drum comes in, despite a vaguely wailing synth in the chorus.

The general complaint I have with this album is the repetitive nature of some songs. ‘wRoNg, rEaR vIeW’ and ‘sHe’ are all fine but never quite seem to go anywhere, with ‘dRuNk’ leaving me feeling like I’m always waiting for the bass to drop.

However, for a first album, it’s a fantastic mix of styles, and showcases Zayn’s versatile voice. ‘FOoL fOr YoU’ sounds like a nod to Frank Ocean’s ‘Bad Religion’, with a retro piano ballad edge to it, and a great chorus. Its ‘INTERMISSION: floWer’, which comes halfway through the album, offers an alternative interlude, with singing in Urdu floating above an acoustic guitar. Although this is

structurally pleasant, it sits a little uncomfortably between the songs on either side of it.

It’s an enjoyable album, and once Zayn finds his direction and sticks to it, he will surely carve a place for himself in the R&B scene. I’m left with one question though – what’s the point of the mixture of capitals and small letters in the song titles other than to confuse and irritate the reader?

EVA RINALDI

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

Culture

3

Judging a book by its cover Oliver Canessa

B

ook covers are the vessel of an organised piece of text: they wrap it, colour it, set the perimeters of its universe and radiate meaning. Much like record sleeves, book covers are a visual statement; they no longer serve just a purely utilitarian purpose. Sir Allen Lane, designer of the iconic Penguin Book covers, knew early on that book covers go beyond just binding, so he appropriated the fantastic design principles of Albatross Books: a three-colour palette, Gill Sans as a typeface, a formidable grid system and a bird as the name of your brand.

Even today, Lane’s vision of a beautiful, balanced and visually potent dressing for text remains. The philosophy behind the Penguin Book designs has created a space for books to become a work of art in their own right. David Pearson has forged some breath-taking covers for Penguin Books recently. This inspired me to create a series of posters that pay homage to their legendary design history.

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus in Penguin’s ‘Great Ideas’ collection is my favourite cover: the symbiosis of the meaninglessness filled void and the boulder is gorgeous. It is also a testament to continuing design legacy of Penguin

Books. I came across Fitzcarraldo Editions recently via their designer Ray O’Meara. Jacques Testard, the project’s director, said recently, “we wanted to design the books to make them visually striking and desirable as objects...good design makes you stand out from the crowd”.

The artists, illustrators, graphic designers and creatives of the world need to cover books and text sublimely because in the words of Massimo Vignelli, the “life of a designer is the life of fight...against ugliness. Just like a doctor fights against disease. For us, the visual disease is what we have around, and what we try to do is cure it somehow with design”.

ALL IMAGE CREDIT: OLIVER CANESSA

On framing and composition in cinema Jacob Osborne

F

ilm reviews are usually infused with judgements on the script, actors, direction, and music. Far less frequently discussed is framing – what types of shots are used, whether the camera moves, how people and objects are composed within the shot.

This is partly because of the way many of today’s most popular films are shot and edited; the frequent cutting and frenetic camerawork of a Marvel film doesn’t give you much time to dwell on the composition of the images.

But noticing the framing of a scene in many cases can lead to a more rewarding cinematic experience. The idea that every shot should have the unity, composure and balance/imbalance of painted pictures is a common aspiration for the most patient and visually conscious of directors, and especially two of my favourites: Stanley Kubrick and Akira Kurosawa.

Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon (1975) tells with passion and colour the story of Redmond Barry, an Irish farm boy, who, through an unstoppable drive for social status, acquires a wife and large estate in eighteenth-century England.

Kubrick’s use of wide shots is especially expressive. In one of these, Barry stands on a bridge within his estate. At first he fills a large part of the frame, but then the camera slowly zooms out until he is just one small part of the wider landscape. It is almost as if we are walking backwards

from a picture in a gallery. But there is a deeper emotional current to it: we are growingly distanced from a character we know to be deceptive as we are enveloped by his newfound wealth.

But arguably no film deserves the ‘every frame a painting’ mantle as much as Kurosawa’s Ran (1985). The director had spent the preceding ten years painting every potential shot in the near-three hour film. In one truly memorable scene, the ageing feudal warlord Hidetora and his retinue are attacked by armies led by two of his sons. Trapped in a burning tower, he descends into madness.

In a spectacular wide shot, he emerges from the flaming MARTAS CHAMBER

tower, descending down some steps that cut vertically across the centre of the frame. The symmetry of the redand yellow-clad armies on either side intentionally clashes with the chaos onscreen, as the lone Hidetora, his mind raging like the burning tower, meets the cold violence of military organisation.

In both Ran and Barry Lyndon, framing is not just aesthetically powerful, but emotionally significant.

Crucially, both directors take time with their shots, lingering on landscapes and faces, rather than cutting frequently. Their ‘every frame a painting’ philosophy makes many modern films look utterly lazy in comparison.

CHARLATAN FILMS

4

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

Culture

Book review: The Ministry of Nostalgia Tim Schneider

R

eminiscent of shows like Call the Midwife, and The Great British Bake Off, as well as ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ posters, mugs, bags amd t-shirts: the Ministry of Nostalgia, Owen Hatherley argues, is a cultural production unit tasked with selling the austerity of post-war Britain to the citizens of post-crash Britain.

Hatherley spends the first quarter of the book scraping off the sugar in order to examine the pill disguised underneath: the government’s mantra of austerity economics, accompanied by appeals for sacrificial unity in the name of ‘the national interest’.

The Panama Papers, following on the heels of a budget that proposed cuts to both disability benefits and corporation tax, have reiterated that the ‘we’re all in it together’ line is palpably false. But that isn’t Hatherley’s main focus.

What interests him is how the post-war moment has been exploited by both right and left, with clear-sighted appraisals of the present and alternative visions of the future

lost in nostalgia’s sticky fog.

Aimed at all “those who would tear the brief, aberrant achievements of social democracy out of their historically untypical context”, Hatherley seeks not just to correct the Conservatives’ use of the post-war years – by pointing to the contradiction of invoking a period when the state expanded enormously to justify an aggressive withdrawal of state responsibility – but to abandon the myth altogether.

To do so, he rallies his impressive command of twentieth century architectural history, lucid prose style, and sharp analysis to provide a lesson with regards to the construction of false memory.

Though sometimes too impressionistic to build a compelling argument, and occasionally over-hasty in the rush to debunk – the ‘Blitz Spirit’ receives peremptory dismissal – Hatherley probes a consistent fault-line: the failure to account for Britain’s imperial past and racially diverse present.

The Ministry of Nostalgia only deals in one colour, and it’s sepia-toned: a “whiting-out” of what twentieth-century

Britain actually looked like made in the name of an exclusive ‘Englishness’.

Over the distortions of aestheticized memory and the bleak political landscape it has helped to create, Hatherley concludes with calls for “collective utility” to provide the floor-plan for a less austere, more equal society that we’ll all have to build together.

GOGGLEBOX CREATIVE

Constellations: Behind the scenes Helena Edmondson

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ick Payne’s Constellations explores love, loss, free will, honey and the multiverse. A UK tour starring Sherlock’s Louise Brealey sold out at the Cambridge Arts Theatre in 2015, and this is one of the first student productions to be licensed.

Have you found this daunting when putting the production together?

Marthe (Director): I think that’s what really excites me about it. Everyone who has been involved has been incredibly talented, but all really different, which shows just how much the cast can influence the characters.

Clara (Assistant Director): The very fact that so many incredible actors have played these roles proves what an incredible script it is. Luckily, we have two fantastic talents of our own to do the show justice, and the range they’re able to demonstrate in such a complex script is fantastic.

The play touches on many themes, one of them science – have some of the concepts and jargon been challenging to make accessible?

Marthe: There’s a fair bit of science in one scene, and each

time we see it, the jargon shifts slightly - Ella has to talk at length about general relativity and string theory. Though Ed has an equally complicated speech about bee ejaculation, which he has done well with! The science is written into the script in a way that isn’t that important to the plot.

Anything that Nick Payne wants us to understand is written in an accessible way.

Clara: What’s beautiful about the play is the way it marries up romance and science: the impossible magnitude of universes, and the simple but inexplicable phenomenon of human love. We see a lot of this relationship between the minutiae of, say, Roland’s beekeeping, and then the expanse of Marianne’s work in quantum theory.

Ed (Roland): I think Marthe’s point about Nick Payne wanting us to understand bits is important - a lot of the sciency bits are supposed to sit awkwardly because Marianne and Roland are awkward people. They are both caught up by their respective passions for science and bees that baffle and amuse the other. What makes their relationship so endearing is that they do struggle to relate, but, despite that, have this irresistible chemistry that keeps bringing them together across the timelines.

With respect to multiple universes, are there differences in terms of looks or personalities or do the multiple universes explore different trajectories of the relationship?

Marthe: We’ve kept them as fundamentally the same people, but with different influences and circumstances in each scene. The actors have enjoyed figuring this out – there are scenes where one character is thoroughly unlikeable, followed by another where they have our utmost sympathy.

Nobody is ever going to accuse Roland and Marianne of being two dimensional!

Clara: What’s interesting is that one miniscule thing has happened to make them act differently that day. The actors can explore the way tiny reactions and behaviours can affect our lives on an epic scale.

Ed: Those tiny chance events mean the Roland who shouts at Marianne is present in the Roland who plays with her hair, and visa versa. It means there’s always internal conflict – it’s never black and white. Roland’s never a good guy, or a bad guy, he’s just a guy: anxious, proud, jealous, but ultimately loving.

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

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Culture

The use of colour in film Helena Pérez Valle

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he last film I watched in black and white in the cinema was In Search of a Midnight Kiss. I loved the film, not so much for what it was about, but because it showed me a side of Los Angeles that I knew, but had never before seen in film.

The black and white was a perfect complement to exploring L.A., stealing from an ex-boyfriend, getting to know one another, etc. And yet, I couldn’t help feeling that it was a bit pretentious in this day and age, to shoot in black-and-white when it is no longer a necessity.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who refuses to watch black-and-white movies because they’re ‘old’, but I do think that the medium is occasionally abused to make mediocre films seem more highbrow. For a long time, filming in black and white was something people did because they had to, not because they necessarily wanted to, and filming in colour, reflecting reality in its true light on film, was an aspiration and desire.

So, what is the role of colour in film? Does it affect the ones we view? Absolutely. For one thing, colour somehow affects our perception of time. To me, modern productions about past centuries seem fake because they are in colour.

Of course, I’m aware that people in the past lived in colour, but for some reason on film, colour (unless done masterfully, with care and intention) just seems fake. For another, I am a firm believer in colour provoking emotion, or at the very least, making a statement.

The film Hero is a fantastic, albeit obvious, lesson in the use of colour in film. Surprisingly, both the director, Zhang Yimou, and the cinematographer, Christopher Doyle, claim that the choice of colours was simply an aesthetic one, and yet, one can’t help but feel that there is some reasoning behind the choice. The film is about three stories: the one

the character Nameless tells to the king; the one the king tells to Nameless, believing it’s the truth, and the final story, the truth, which Nameless finally tells to the king.

The first story is shot in red, the second in blue, and the final in white. The division of the film into these three parts, each with different colours, is so stunning and memorable that, even though I have not watched the film in years, I can remember it clearly.

The first story, the red story, is a lie. The second story, the blue story, is a supposition, but again fiction. The final story, the white story, is the truth. And not only that: it is also a story of death. White is associated with both truth and death in China.

The use of colours in In Search of a Midnight Kiss is masterful, and conveys the emotions not only of the characters, but of the story. The story could not have been the same without colours, even though realistically, in real life, those colours weren’t there. Colour in film is nowadays common, but unfortunately, it isn’t always used deliberately.

When it is, the product is elevated, and as an audience, we seem to understand the film at a deeper level.

Jemima Jobling

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Ollie Smith Music Editor

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veryone likes to revise differently. Some need a backing track to keep them scribbling, while others can’t stand even the smallest of interruptions.

Whatever you’re into, here’s a little something to keep you focused.

For those who like… … Classical 1.

‘Estampes L100: No.1 Pagodes’ – Claude Debussy 2.

‘En Rêve, Nocturne S. 207’ – Franz Liszt 3.

‘Pavane Op. 50’ – Gabriel Fauré 4.

‘Finlandia Op.26’ – Jean Sibelius 5.

‘Electric Counterpoint II. Slow’ – Steve Reich MOYAN BRENN

GLADTOHELPAFRIEND

Celebrating Charlotte: 200 years of Brontë brilliance n the 21 April it will have been 200 years since the birth of Charlotte Brontë, thereby meaning that nearly two centuries have passed since Currer, Acton and Ellis Bell first began publishing. Most certainly, the most successful of the three mysterious Bell brothers was the eldest, Currer, whose Jane Eyre captivated and shook the nation when it was first published in 1847. The novel’s handling of such daring themes as religion, morality, social class and gender relations lent it a rather frosty response from critics, and yet Jane Eyre continued to flourish and its readership continued to devour it.

With Currer’s – or rather, Charlotte’s – approaching bicentennial year, more and more writers and historians are turning to research this incredible woman’s life and to the curious, bewitching Brontë family. Most notably perhaps, is multi-award-winning novelist Tracy Chevalier, who recently curated a multimedia exhibition at the famous Brontë parsonage, the family home at the time, and at the end of March published a book of short stories inspired by Jane Eyre entitled Reader, I Married Him. As academic and critical focus shifts onto Charlotte Brontë, her life beyond her writing is becoming more and more widely understood and acknowledged; the longestsurviving Brontë child was not only an accomplished author, but also a proficient teacher, a talented linguist, a star-crossed lover, a successful governess and a keen

The ultimate revision playlist

traveller: over the past 200 years, her legacy has paved the way for others to do the same.

My own personal Brontë-bias is admittedly rooted in my hometown’s proximity to the wild, industrial beauty of a Brontë-esque country (and also due to the fact that my upbringing was almost entirely accompanied by the heavenly banshee-wails of big-time Brontë fan, Kate Bush) and yet I still have to meet someone who can deny the magical quality of the area and the fascinating literary family who once called the historic village, Haworth, home.

Charlotte, and her works, continue to capture hearts, from angst-riddled teens, to Hollywood directors. The Brontë bug has ensnared the nation for almost two centuries, and its charm is unlikely to fade anytime soon.

… Jazz and Soul 1.

‘Paranoid Android’ – Brad Mehldau 2.

‘Appletree’ – Erykah Badu 3.

‘Blaze’ – Alpha Mist 4.

‘Afro Blue’ – Robert Glasper Experiment 5.

‘People Everyday’ – Arrested Development … Instrumental Electronic Music 1.

‘Miss You’ – Trentemøller 2.

‘Hands’ – Four Tet 3.

‘Avril 14th’ – Aphex Twin 4.

‘Last Remnants’ – Koreless 5.

‘Silhouettes (I,II & III)’ – Floating Points JOE MIRANDA

EVERT A. DUYCHINCK

… Trying Something New 1.

‘Allah Elohim’ – Shye Ben Tzur 2.

‘I Do Sing For You’ – Majical Cloudz 3.

‘Morning Side’ – Four Tet 4.

‘A Long Way’ – Manu Delago 5.

‘Aveu’ – Valentin Stip … Silence 1.

‘4’33”’ – John Cage

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21 April 2016 • Part 2 • The Cambridge Student

Reviews Review:The Princes of Main Rob Day

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entered the theatre with high hopes.

The Princes of Main, I had been told, were one of the best performers my friends had seen at the Fringe.

The show switched between sketches to ‘personal’ statements about the three performers. Through the characters of Ben, Alex and Jamie, a presentation for Laurence Fishburne (no, not that Laurence Fishburne) was mixed expertly with the characters in the sketches.

Some jokes were nuanced and clever, in particular a sketch really nailing the ability of Google translate (or lack of it).

Another sketch managed to mimic and parody erotic fiction; a sort of funny Fifty Shades. Other jokes were simply bizarre.

Alex Mackeith dazzled in the dramatically deranged – one impression made Heath Ledger’s Joker look positively tame. The show was performed by three comedians who were clearly experienced, funny, and, at times, downright brilliant. At one point they literally told us to laugh: we did.

If I were seeing this show at the Fringe in 2016, fully polished and ready to go,

I am certain it would be up there with the best shows I had seen. In its current state, there is something not quite right.

Billed as a ‘work in progress’, it was challenging to know if the mistakes were genuine or planned. Either way, they got a bit wearing. The repeated stopping and blaming of tech, whilst at first amusing, did make the production’s pace slacken.

Don’t get me wrong – I am sitting here with my jaw having hurt from smiling.

I just felt there was definite room for improvement.

The strong finale was down almost entirely to Mackeith’s improvisation, which even had his co-stars in stitches.

On the whole, the premise of the show allowed for some great sketches to be tied in well with an hour of comedy, performed brilliantly by three of Cambridge’s most talented comedians. It just has room for fine tuning.

7/10 JACK LAWRENCE

Review: When you improv upon a star Carl Wikeley

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he Impronauts fashioned a brilliant musical, out of just a few audience suggestions (which were admittedly hilarious).The show was remarkably well constructed and rarely felt slow – a testament to the preparation which, ironically, forms the backbone of improvised comedy.

The comedy troupe chose from a variety of audience suggestions and created a unique and completely improvised musical with the name “The Three Mountains” (the gimmick being that the mountains are innumerable).

Clever scene choices and character changes achieved a great deal of variety, while a surprising amount of continuity ensured that the show never felt lost – just mildly chaotic! Ben Dobson played an important role as lighting director, working quickly to make the show

engaging and slick.

There were certainly weaker characters – Rachel-Marie Weiss’ part was functional rather than comic – and a good deal of the singing was, at times, relatively painful. However, singing in tune always poses a problem for improvised musical numbers, and it was understandable that the ensemble would chose cast members for their comic talent rather than their harmonising capabilities.

Furthermore on the musical side, the improvised piano accompaniment from Ed Elcock was effective and idiosyncratic, albeit formulaic, and certainly containing one too many Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones references.

8/10

Shakespea Winter’s Ta T Will Bishop

his week, The Cambridge Student talks to the director of The Winter’s Tale, Will Bishop, about his forthcoming production.

To a Jacobean audience, ‘a winter’s tale’ was another way of saying an ‘old wives tale’. It was unbelievable, unrealistic, and promised a happy ending.

Indeed, Shakespeare’s story is filled with prophecies, magical statues, bears, and talk of fairies. But it is none of the above that make The Winter’s Tale such an exciting, fantastical story. It’s what our characters do in the face of tragedy.

I’m pleased to say that our production certainly feels magical. The sets for the play’s two settings, Sicilia and Bohemia,

are so wildly different, we hired two set designers. Whereas one setting is a dark and claustrophobic dining hall, the other is an open space, scattered with trees and hay bales.

Our music (written by Toby Marlow)

Filled with prophecies, magical statues, bears, and talk of fairies

is the liveliest folk music I’ve ever heard on stage. And our actors are wonderful.

The whole team is incredibly talented and committed, and I can’t wait to show what we’ve got.

We’ll break your heart, entertain you,

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

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Reviews KAITI SOULTANA

Film: High Rise Grace Dickinson

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film as divisive as it is dystopian, High Rise has drawn both criticism and praise since its premiere at the Toronto Film Festival.

While some critics revelled in director Ben Wheatley’s retro-futuristic revival of J.G. Ballard’s 1975 novel, others recognised a fundamental flaw: the whole film is chaotic and confusing.

What is arguably most disappointing about Wheatley’s adaptation is its promising opening, as regrettably, this is where the film peaks. Referring to himself in the third person, Dr Laing (Tom Hiddleston) introduces the audience to the feral existence of tower-block life as he tucks into a barbecued dog’s leg.

Once the film rewinds three months to Laing’s arrival in the high rise, the set pieces really bring the tower-block to life, presenting the perversely perfect angles of the rooms and corridors. But as a sped-up montage sequence marks the inhabitants’ descent into chaos, the film too loses the plot.

Before the societal demise of the highrise commences, caricatured characters portrayed by some of Britain’s finest actors struggle through dialogue so forced and pointed that the film’s message lacks any

are’s The ale: Preview A

sophisticated subtlety.

Jeremy Irons is ‘the architect’ Anthony Royal who, dressed in crisp white attire, is the vision of a creator-deity, describing his creation as “a crucible for change”.

The dialogue soon becomes unbearable, especially when Laing’s tenancy application is described as “Byronic”.

A film losing the plot amongst a narrative of chaos The film is slightly redeemed by being built on solid foundations of stunning set pieces and production design. One particular highlight is a scene in which Laing finds himself stuck in a brokendown elevator walled with mirrors, juxtaposing the evasive endlessness with the stiflingly enclosed space.

The film is laced with visual metaphors: the most striking involves removing the skin from a decapitated head in a class demonstration.

High Rise is visually exquisite, but ultimately, the film falls short. There is much to admire, but not to enjoy.

3/10

Film: Zootropolis Ariel Luo

surprise you, scare you, and make sure you go home with one or two folk songs stuck in your head.

This is going to be a good show for English students looking to take a few hours break from revision and engage with a fun interpretation of a colourful and exciting play.

We’ll break your heart, entertain you, and surprise you It’s been a privilege to put my stamp on this show, and tell a story that is both engaging and uplifting in equal measure.

To me, The Winter’s Tale still has the power to inspire. What marks this play out as quite different to the rest of Shakespeare’s canon is its use of unresolved tragedy: an innocent dies and is never avenged.

The conflict is not resolved through vengeance and bloodlust. Instead, the characters resolve the conflict by forgiving those they should hate, and love conquers all. And that, whilst perhaps unbelievable, is the most admirable thing of all.

The Winter’s Tale will be showing at the ADC Theatre, where you can catch it from Tuesday 3 to Saturday 7 May at 7.45pm.

lthough often criticised for repeated portrayals of a pretty princess waiting to be saved by her destined prince, Disney has undoubtedly come a long way with its definition of love.

It was a pleasant surprise to see them granting the love of sisterhood the same power in Frozen. Maleficent, as a celebration of motherhood, followed naturally. With its latest feature, Zootropolis, Disney has surpassed itself again, this time with a powerful take on the topic of racism.

Zootropolis uses predator animals going savage as a metaphor for terrorism. This depiction of crime as an illness is not without problems, but it is clever. Instead of demonising animals that choose to reject predators from their society, the film points to misconception as the origin of discrimination by fear.

It, therefore, proposes understanding, rather than accusation and eviction, as the solution to the problem. This is much needed in our time – a time when Muslim identities are being generalised in a wide-

spread and public manner. The fact that racial equality is a topic considered by an animated film aimed for all audiences only emphasises its importance.

And racism is not the only link to reality in this film. Another brilliant metaphor is played out in the joke of the ‘Lemming Brothers’, a pun on the Lehman Brothers investment bank that went bankrupt as a result of its involvement in the subprime mortgage crisis in 2008. In Zootropolis, the company is managed by lemmings, rodents known for their herd behaviour in jumping off cliffs.

There is plenty of humour in this feature.

The universal favourite might be Flash, a sloth civil servant. But the mafia boss Mr Big, dressed and spoken like Marlon Brando in The Godfather, is perhaps even funnier for the adult audience.

Zootropolis manages to put forward social issues without compromising universal accessibility, which is why it is the one animated film to watch this year.

10/10

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

8

Lifestyle

(Vanilla) iced, iced coffee Stevie Hertz Deputy Editor

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f all the beverages of Easter Term, iced coffee is my favourite. The prosecco of May Week is exciting and the Red Bull of revision is necessary, but iced coffee provides both much needed caffeine and refreshment. Yet with many colleges devoid of freezers, the only option is to buy-in. Various cafes in Cambridge claim to provide it, but the results are mixed. I cafe-hopped, trying as many as possible in a single day.

Hot Numbers, Iced latte I personally believe that Hot Numbers makes the best coffee in Cambridge and their iced latte does not fall flat.

It tastes fresh, but cool, and also manages to have foamed milk. The dream. 10/10 KENNYLOUI

PHILLEB

Thursday 21 Pet-a-Puppy Day, St. Edmund’s College, 2pm.

Diane Von Furstenberg. The Cambridge Union, 4:30pm.

Friday 22 Newton Faulkner, Corn Exchange, 7pm.

Newnham Smoker, Newnham Bar, 8pm.

Starbucks, Iced Caramel Macchiato Starbucks provide all their regular coffees iced, which means a bewildering amount of choice. I opted for the macchiato, and it’s certainly the best choice for anyone in need of a sugar hit. 8/10

Sunday 24 Open Deck, The Portland Arms, 6pm.

Cambridge Impronauts: Quickfire, The ADC Theatre, 8pm.

Fitzbillies, Iced Latte Fitzbillies does not mess around when it comes to ice coffee; a hot shot of espresso is poured over cold milk and ice. While this does mean that the coffee tastes fresh, it also means that it’s not exactly cold. 7/10 Grad Cafe, Jimmy’s Iced Coffee Jimmy’s Iced Coffee is nowhere near as fresh, coming in a carton and expiring some time later this year. This comes across as it doesn’t particularly recently brewed and is also quite sweet 6/10

Listings

Monday 25 This House believes the UK is better off in the EU, The Cambridge Union, 7:30pm.

JESSIE MATHEWSON

Tuesday 26 Grief, The ADC Theatre, 7:45pm.

John and Jen, Corpus Playroom, 7:45pm.

Hot Numbers, Cold Brew and Tonic Apparently originating in Sweden, Cold Brew and Tonic is the latest hipster darling, but it is bizarre. Both sweet and bitter, fizzy and caffeinated, no one can decide if they love it, or hate it 5/10

Wednesday 27 Nick Clegg, The Cambridge Union, 7:45pm.

Compiled by Lucy Roxburgh

Foodie excitements to fuel exam term Charlotte McGarry Food Editor

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t’s that time of year again. The Easter holidays came and went in a flash, and suddenly we’re all faced with the prospect of six weeks of social reclusion with nothing but books for company. Okay, perhaps I exaggerate, but the prospect of exam term never made anyone jump for joy. Fear not, for luckily there are some new developments on the food and drink scene which are guaranteed to day 1) A new Fitzbillies Particularly exciting news for students living near Magdalene and Clare Colony, and the hill colleges: the renowned Cambridge bakery, Fitzbillies, is opening their second restaurant right next to Magdalene Bridge. An official opening date is still to be set, but rest assured that Chelsea buns and blue-cupped cappuccinos are coming to a (new) location near you.

2) An excuse to eat ice cream every day It’s almost summer, the shorts are on, the sun is shining (occasionally) – it’s definitely ice cream weather. Treat yourself to a mid-revision boost in the sweetest of ways.

Our lovely Deputy Editor, Jessie Mathewson, has been diligently testing Cambridge’s numerous ice cream vendors to bring you the best: head over to page 21 for her recommendations.

DUNCAN HULL

3) A menu revamp at the Urban Shed Listen up, Shedites, this one’s for you. Back in February, Simon (the brains behind the Urban Shed), promised us a new range of sandwiches for summer – and he’s keeping to that promise! Whilst the official date for the unveiling of the new menu is being kept under wraps, word has it that the sandwiches will be with us by the end of the month.

There’s a new vegan option being thrown into the mix – tahini and falafel anyone? Walk over to King Street for a serious lunch-hour upgrade.

4) Eat Cambridge food festival Eat Cambridge is an annual food and drink festival showcasing the delicious independent food scene of Cambridgeshire. Taking place between 7th-22nd May in the Cambridge Corn Exchange, the festival will be home to hundreds of artisanal foodie vendors, plus a number of informative food and drink masterclasses happening all over the city. Check out www.eat-cambridge.co.uk to drool over the festival program now.

And if all else fails, remember that Sainsbury’s still do their £1 packs of biscuits and 35p bars of chocolate, and there are always discount donuts at closing time. It wouldn’t be exam term without a little stress-induced comfort eating after all – or maybe even a lot!

LEENIE118

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

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Lifestyle

Sex by Bananas for pyjamas numbers Words: Stevie Hertz and Jessie Mathewson Photography: Amelia Oakley and Elsa Maishman

Bea Hannay-Young Columnist

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hy are we all so obsessed with the “number”? Since this column almost always consists of me over-sharing deeply mortifying sexual experiences, I’m going to start by saying that no way am I spilling how many people I’ve slept with. I usually sprout this kind of nonsense to anyone who will listen (I once gave a bikini-waxing guide to a lady on the tube), but here I won’t budge. There’s just no right answer – I can’t win.

The problem is that we all have notions about the ‘right’ number of people to have slept with. These, of course, vary by taste and the individual in question; the thought of my mother shagging anyone is enough to make me vomit in my mouth. The problem is, as soon as I own up to having sex at all, I’m labelled a “slut”– check out the comments on some of my past articles if you don’t believe me. I also know people who still identify as virgins and feel so self-conscious of that fact, as though inexperience makes you undesirable.

I’ll concede that having more sex probably makes you better, but I feel that sex is most improved when everyone is super comfortable and confident in their own (delicious, naked) skin. A skill you perfect on one person may even turn-off another – I once jacked off some guy who loved this trick called “firewood” (rolling the cock between the hands like kindling), but the next unfortunate I tried it on laughed in my face and then complained of friction burn.

In the words of the prophet Macklemore, “one man’s trash makes another man’s [dick] come-up”.

One of the problems I’ve come across amongst virgins is a feeling of inadequacy, which I’m quick to own to myself.

It’s hard not to feel inferior when you believe yourself an inexperienced partner to someone with a lot of sexual history below their belt. People seem worried their first partner will “just be able to tell” you’re a virgin- this is a horrible lie perpetuated by gross misogynist types. No-one can know if you’re a virgin unless you tell them. I’m protelling your first potential partner you’re a newbie. If they do not attempt to make it great for you – or worse, pressure you for sex knowing it violates your personal beliefs and preferences, they are 100% not worthy of visa-entry to Genitalia Island. You’re worth more than that.

Unusually, it’s a double standard all genders are held to.

Machismo culture rewards guys for “scoring” (like I’m a football?). It’s sweaty and you can end up covered in some weird stuff, but sex isn’t sport. You could have had sex with thousands of people but if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons (i.e.: society/ the partner in question/ your drinking society president told you to) then you’re not “winning”. I actually kinda feel bad for you. Conversely, if you banged those people because you liked them, more power to you.

Google tells us the average number of ex-partners is ten, but bear in mind I pulled that figure from the nasty conservative types at Telegraph.com. The same site warned me I shouldn’t reveal my “list” lest I seem “too promiscuous”, and can’t bag an eligible bachelor. God forbid I end up alone with only 56 cats and my trusty vibrator for company. Why should having a sexual history dent my dignity? Thanks for brainwashing my generation into being ashamed of the fun they’re having (be that with their left hand or the entire population of Trinity College). But I will keep shouting about my vagina, and all the stuff I’ve put in it. Call me a slut if you will, anonymous internet trolls. You can go f* yourselves, and add that to a list of your own.

I

t started out as a fairly innocent idea: they were the key street style look of Milan fashion week in 2014, and they’re an exam term staple every year. This week, TCS takes pyjamas as daywear beyond procrastination and hangover denial, and into the ‘serious’ setting of the UL, with hilarious and somewhat bizarre results. On styling: Vogue advises pairing a sleak silk shirt with a leather skirt because “the contrast of slinky and tough works well.”

Here at TCS, we recommend that you mix things up even further, injecting cotton-candy pink and bumblebee print into your look. “Courts won’t cut it”, as Vogue reminds us, so complete your ensemble with the classic option: slippers.

And of course, as our shoot illustrates, no day-styled pyjama outfit is complete without TCS stash. This season’s fashion must have!

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The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

Lifestyle

Revision apps Fantastic May Ball outfits Lucy Roxburgh Lifestyle Editor

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e all know about flashcards, sticky notes, and highlighters, but this is 2016. There are a whole range of apps out there which can temporarily transform your phone from a form of procrastination, into something that will actually help you get through exam term, as long as you don’t stray onto Instagram.

Exam Countdown – on the boundary between helpful and stressful, the usefulness of this app depends on the amount of exams you have, and how much you need reminding that they are inching ever closer. This free app stores all your exam dates and creates ‘helpful’ colour coded countdowns to each one. iMindMap – if you’ve made all your lecture notes on your laptop and the thought of returning to paper for revision seems plain Medieval, download iMindMap. You can make reivison mind maps to your heart’s content on an iPad and never have to pick up a physical pen or paper. Until the actual exam.

Pomodoro Timer – the Pomodoro technique works on the basis that you work for 25 minutes, take a break for five minutes and repeat this routine until the work is done. It aims to boost productivity by concentrating brain power in small bursts and this app times it all for you.

Flashcards – if you are a fan of flashcards for cramming those formulas, dates or translations, but know you are likely to lose little piles of notes in the bottom of your bag, then this is the app for you. Make sets of flashcards and they’ll sync between all Apple devices, meaning you can test yourself easily on the move. No more excuses.

App Detox – the app you need if your procrastination is getting out of hand. Whether it’s scrolling through Facebook or getting re-addicted to Candy Crush, this app lets you lock access to the app that’s killing your time. You can either ban yourself from it altogether for a certain period of time or set a limited number of launches – and if you try to break these self-imposed rules later on, you’ll have no such luck.

and where to find them Ariel Luo Fashion Editor

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s there a better way to relax than browsing online shops in the name of May Week? I think not. Shopping in the Grand Arcade can be convenient, but only until the dress you like is not available in your size. Worse is the considerable possibility of someone getting the same jumpsuit as you. Online shopping is miles better for choices – and if we’re doing it, we might as well be doing it properly.

So here’s an Easter term blockbuster not to be missed, starring some major 2016 trends that you can definitely wear again.

New Romantics: Dive into the ‘new romantics’ trend and search for spring pastels, florals, and silk dresses. ASOS always has a bit of everything, but it is particularly good for chiffon maxi dresses at affordable prices. Before you shop, it is a good idea to have your measurements ready, and to refer to the size guide, because ASOS features a wide range of brands which do not necessarily fit true to size.

For a high-fashion seeker, theoutnet.com also has a great selection of dresses and jumpsuits at discounted prices.

Bohemian Festival: It is that time of the year again when Coachella fashion resurges. For a fresh and summery look,

ZUHAIR MURAD

go for tribal prints in white, beige and camel. American online retailers such as shopbop and revolve.com feature boho brands loved by Taylor Swift and Kendall Jenner: Free People, For Love & Lemons, etc. But pieces from Urban Outfitters or Topshop might work out cheaper.

Effortlessly Chic: If floor-length dresses and jumpsuits are too much of an effort, get a knee-length dress from Zara or Warehouse that is easy to play around with, and style up the look with jewellery and bold makeup, such as metallic silver eyeliner. Who knows: maybe effortless is the coolest way to do a May Ball.

Americana: The bold red and blue colours from the Americana trend make for a great statement style in May Week. Sexy halterneck plunge dresses are online at Nasty Gal and Missguided. The red maxi dress from the Ariana Grande for Lipsy collection is also worth checking out.

Before paying, be sure to enter your student discount code from myunidays.com. Registration is free and they work with a lot of online shops. I’d say, save that 20%, and spend it on a matching lipstick!

RALPH & RUSSO

An MMLer abroad: Learning from living Do you learn more from travelling than your degree? It depends on your approach Rachel Rees-Middleton Columnist

T

ravelling is undoubtedly one of life’s greatest joys. My favourite form of procrastination is researching potential destinations: my Google search history for today already contains Havana, Hamburg and Denmark. Lonely Planet guidebooks are my weakness. Despite this, I am by no means the most well-travelled in my friendship group: no gap year, no summers spent in Asia. Yet when it comes to meaningful travel, it’s not about how far you go, but what you do when you get there.

Crossing the channel to live in France may not be a dramatic move, but I have certainly learnt more about French culture than I have in over 10 years of classroom learning. The culture lectures I semi-attended last year didn’t mention the millefeuille of bureaucracy that makes an

hour-and-a-half a normal time to wait in a police station, the fierce regional pride which means that a severely endangered language (Occitan, if you’re interested) is taught in primary schools, or the sacred importance of gastronomy. As far as I can remember, the lectures didn’t mention any city other than Paris. Equally, I am yet to meet a French person who has heard of the medieval romances I am studying for my dissertation, let alone one who understands why I am so enthusiastic about them.

There is no doubt that in rigorous academic terms, I have not processed the same sheer volume of information that I did in both my years at Cambridge. Yet, as I’m sure my fellow MMLers will agree, living abroad means you have to get on with situations you wouldn’t usually find yourself in, and talk to people you wouldn’t usually find yourself talking to, about subjects you never knew you were interested in. It can be a refreshing break.

Studying at Cambridge, in amongst the essays and

lectures written and delivered in English, the fortnightly conversation hour, and the literary translations which made me so reliant on Word Reference, it was easy to forget that first and foremost, I chose my degree because I wanted to be able to speak French. This year has sometimes been challenging but has also made me remember why I set out to study French in the first place.

In the end, a bit like your degree, travelling is perhaps only a learning experience if you throw yourself in at the deep end, and jump in a little bit further out than you would usually. Take the cheapest and slowest form of public transport from the airport, so you pass through all the suburbs. Stay with a local and ask them about their favourite places. Learn a bit of the language and don’t be afraid to use it in new situations. Try the regional speciality, even if it is not what you’re used to: horse steak tartare with raw egg, anyone? That way, you’ll learn plenty, and it probably won’t be what you expected.

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

11

Lifestyle

Tired of wasting money? Fly away for May Week Ellie Bouttell

I

am tired of the hype around May Week. Last year, I could not help but feel that everything was just a bit underwhelming. During the endless queuing I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I was only there – on a night that most people would barely remember – because it was just what people did in Cambridge.

Don’t get me wrong: May Balls can be fun, and they are a unique and dazzling part of Cambridge life. But if you are tired of blowing anywhere from £75 to £200 on a single night of excess, fear not: there are alternatives.

from Stansted airport, and a destination on few travellers’ bucket lists. The town is one that is lived in, enjoyed by those who live there just as much as the few tourists who stray this way. Perched on Croatia’s beautiful coast, you can see the sun salutation ritual at dawn; wander through chalky streets of sun-bleached buildings during the day, or hike in the stunning rainforest-like scenery of Paklenica National Park. Dance the night away at Zadar’s most zany attraction – a strange and beautiful light show dance floor that stands out in the ocean. Upfront total for five nights: £94

A living fairytale town: Krakow, Poland Having been told off by a drunk Polish person for saying that I wanted to go to Warsaw over Krakow, I did a little research on the city. My mind has been completely changed.

Krakow is a fairytale European city, with looming churches, a large and beautiful old market square with ‘Cloth Hall’ (an indoor market) standing proudly in its centre, and the picturesque Wawel Castle enclosed in still, peaceful water.

Besides the sights, beers in the myriad of pubs and bars here go for less then £2 a pint, and ‘Frantic’ club offers a weird and wonderful light-show filled nightlife – an exciting alternative to the black tie dancefloors of Cambridge’s May Balls. Upfront total for five nights: £130

Unbelievable scenery: Hardanger Fjord, Norway On the more expensive side, but still ridiculously cheap for the experience you get, Norway is famous for its incredible natural beauty. Fjords offer jaw-dropping backdrops of lush greenery, dramatic mountains, and icy, clear blue waters, with hikes of all levels of difficulty, and plenty of places to stop and chill out. Things in Norway can get pricey, but the hostel-like lakeside cabins by the breathtaking Hardanger Fjord (in the adorably named Oddland) offer an affordable option. Waking up to some of the most spectular views in the world, you’ll feel much fresher than after a May Ball. Believe it or not, with flights to Bergen from Gatwick starting at £74 return and a stay at a two-person cabin in for 350 krone (£29) each per night the total cost is still less than John’s! Upfront total for three nights: £161.

Lights, sounds and sun: Zadar, Croatia For those who want something away from the well-beaten track of inter-railing trips, Zadar is a cheap, direct flight

JOADL

AQWIS

So go ahead, try something different this May Week.

Cambridge: The (ice) cream of the crop Jessie Mathewson Deputy Editor

D

uring term, I never eat ice cream. Ever.

Barring one two-tub binge with a courseworkmaddened group of friends, my relationship with both Ben and Jerry is very much off.

But now summer is finally here. Or to put it another way, it’s exam term.

With Week One barely underway, my healthy eating aspirations are truly out of the window. However, rather than semi-permanent imprisonment in the library with a stealth packet of biscuits for company, you could get outside in the sunshine, meet a friend, and enjoy something delicious. This term more than ever, a little calorie-dense selfcare is absolutely justified. So, to bring you the ultimate comfort food list, one brave friend and I ventured on an ice cream crawl around Cambridge. Here’s what we found...

ALL IMAGE CREDITS: JESSIE MATHEWSON

Benet’s Cafe: Best known for its coffee and cakes, Benet’s also hosts an ice cream counter, and this iconic café was first on our hit list. From amongst a list of predictable flavours, we chose the comparatively adventurous blood orange sorbet. All considered, that was a mistake. In Benet’s terms, this seemed to mean orange squash. At £2.70 per scoop, the price was reasonable, but even between the two of us, we couldn’t bring ourselves to finish a single scoop.

Chocolate Chocolate: Given the name, there was only one way to go at our next stop. Their homemade chocolate ice does boast a strong hit of cocoa, but the watery aftertaste isn’t quite so delicious. Unlike the other parlours we visited, there’s nowhere to sit, but on a sunny day Christ’s Pieces provide the obvious answer.

Aromi: Gelato is the undisputed king of ice creams, and this is gelato done right. Slightly chewy texture, big flavours not overpowered by sugariness, and generous servings. At £2.90, it’s a little more expensive than most, but the dense serving and stunning flavour more than compensates for it.

Chill: Three ice creams down, something a little healthier was in order, which brought us to Chill. If you’re looking for ice cream disguised as something healthier, you’re probably in the wrong place. This froyo has a distinctive, slightly sour flavour, that’s surprising on first taste but immediately grows on you. The toppings add a fair bit to the price, but they’re a cute addition to this refreshing option.

Unimpressed? That Ben & Jerry’s tub is there if you need it!

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 21 April 2016

12

Lifestyle

Exam term essentials: Food, flowers, and friends The stress-busting, self-loving staples that we won’t be doing without this Easter term. Have courage!

Walks in the Peterhouse Deer Park just as the daffodils bloom. Stevie Hertz

Colour coded notes are a must. Arenike Adebajo

When you’re writing all day, it’s nice for your hands to feel glamorous. Kelly Brendan

Spinning some relaxing records – Talking Heads and Fleetwood Mac are musts. Jemima Jobling

Flowers! Real or fake – as long as they’re colourful they always help brighten up my revision. Polly Grey

My exam term essentials revolve mainly around drinking cava on the window ledge at 4pm. Elsa Maishman

To celebrate finishing my dissertation I opened up this pink port – it’s like alcoholic Ribena. I wanted to be able to make this last but that doesn’t seem likely now. Gemma Rowe

This is the catchiest soundtrack ever and has so much to say about Tripos: ‘‘Why do you write like you’re running out of time’’, ‘‘I’m not gonna throw away my shot’’. Maddy Airlie

“I have gotten entire pieces of legislation passed through Congress on apples and peanut butter” Josh Lyman - The West Wing

11

The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

Features

or should we go?

A week in the life

Looking for love in

Cambridge

As imagined by Anna Bradley

I

JEMIMA JOBLING

t’s always a long week in the office when you’re a patch of King’s College grass.

Monday: It’s nearly summer. If I was any other patch of grass, I’d be covered in picnic blankets by now...

Tuesday: I can almost touch the Backs from here. Someone’s setting up an early barbecue. I’m not jealous of that at least – nobody wants burnt blades.

Wednesday: Sometimes I try and will the tourists to come and keep me company. Pretend you don’t understand the sign...I’m sick of fellows boots being the only thing I have contact with.

Thursday: I forgot, there is another thing I have contact with. The lawnmower. I have nightmares about it. The groundskeeper always looks so cheerful. How can he look that cheerful when it’s so painful? I wish I could hide from him. Where are those picnic blankets when you need them?

Friday: I was watching the punters today. Some of them could definitely do with sitting on dry land, I’m not sure what possessed them to rent a boat. It’s okay, land here! I’ll save you!

Saturday: Oh God. It’s the day. I’m about to be trimmed. Wish me...

Sunday: It’s 9am and it’s nice and peaceful. It’s hard spending your days trying to will students and tourists to break the rules. At least I look spick and span after that trim. How many patches of grass are as smart as I am, after all.

Eurovision: The best part of continent ties Lydia Sabatini Features Editor

I

t’s a good thing, really, that we don’t take Eurovision too seriously here, because if we did, we’d know our place in Europe is perennially at the bottom of the heap, the source of condescension from all our fellow Europeans.

Confession: I’ve never actually watched the contest before – I’m a true Eurovision virgin, so am in prime position to throw myself into this celebration of all that is really important about Europe. In order to rectify this conspicuously egregious error, and as a political statement to only focus on the aspects of Europe that are truly important, this year I choose to completely ignore all the political posturing from both of the referendum camps and embrace a different sort of camp (see what I did there).

I’m going to make it a real party. Only people who have the distinctly beautiful Euro-American accent so ubiquitous among the presenter and participants will be allowed to attend. The contest will be set in Sweden this year, so I will provide an unlimited supply of Ikea meatballs in the

honour of that socialist beacon of the North (sorry Scotland). I will encourage active participation, dancing, and singing along as loudly as possible. Don’t worry if you don’t know the words or the moves: they’re probably overly complicated anyway.

And the dress code: if you are not so sparkly that I literally need sunglasses to look at you, then you’re not coming in.

It’s going to be a difficult line between celebrating all of these diverse European countries and vying hard for the British to outdo themselves and come ‘Not Last’. The list of countries and cultures celebrated is wonderfully eclectic – they are so refreshingly relaxed about who they let in that the list of competing countries includes Israel. But I will never be able to watch Britain come on to that stage without wishing, almost despite myself, that we will be something other than a bit crap. Even so-badit’s-good would be an improvement.

However bad the inevitable disappointment is though, it’s still betterthan that sinking feeling you get when reading about the ‘real’ issues in Europe.

VUGAR IBADOV

Secret Dater

Easter term: Rounding up

Y

ou may remember Shoes in Bed, my dating guinea pig who was besotted with a personified emblem of perfection – his ex-girlfriend. I thought very little about him for a while, until one fateful Tuesday night in Cindies I was approached by a familiar quiff of ginger hair.

Little did I know, Shoes In Bed was actually part of the TCS team and had been keeping up-to-date with my adventures.

We had a lot of fun recounting the tragic love story that was our brief dalliance. As far as I’m aware, he’s still working on getting over his ex.

A personal favourite of mine was the classic Entitled White Man. Following our objectively disastrous date, I never did see him again. A couple of weeks later, I awoke in the middle of the night to an array of aggressive, explicitly misogynistic and expletive-laden texts.

The next night, I received a seemingly genuine but still intoxicated apology, blaming his “useless” mother for his inability to deal with women. It’s the thought that counts. I never contacted him again, but I wish him the best in his quest for a doormat.

Little did I know, Shoes in Bed was actually part of the TCS team Despite having perhaps the most potential, my date with Rosie was sadly not to be repeated.

I didn’t hear from her for weeks before running into her. She explained that she was struggling with depression following a recent revelation regarding her sexuality. We have stayed in touch, and have since guided each other through a number of Cambridge-related stresses. I am genuinely thankful to have her in my life.

Finally, The Vanilla Prince. Following the uncovering of his long-term relationship, I decided that the most beneficial course of action for my sanity (and primarily, my dignity) was, of course, a 3am intoxicated rant about the sheer deceit and betrayal he had inflicted upon me.

When I finally received a response, it was to explain that he and his girlfriend were dabbling in a brief polygamous phase so ‘technically’ he hadn’t done anything wrong. At this point, I was beyond emotionally exhausted and I have not been in touch with him since.

And since then, you ask? Well, this brief but drama-laden journey highlighted to me how crucial it is to take the time to explore other people and, more importantly, yourself.

We have stayed in touch and I am genuinely thankful to have her Now for the big reveal. I have been keeping something from you. Whilst exploring the dating delights of Cambridge, I was engaging in a fairly casual dalliance. Neither of us had considered anything serious and were just enjoying one another’s company.

However, over the course of writing this column, I found myself becoming more and more enamoured with this friend, and I became particularly thankful for how at ease I felt around him.

Our relationship was everything that these dates were not – it was natural. Soon, we found ourselves swept into an exclusive relationship, and I have never been happier.

My, what a cliché ending.

12

21 April 2016 • The Cambridge Student

Interviews

Owen Jones, Corbyn 2020, an Jack May Interviews Editor

T

here’s something uncomfortable hanging in the air on the evening I meet Owen Jones for a drink by the river. Something unsaid, lingering like a bad smell.

To be precise, it’s the fact that I once wrote a reasonably lengthy bit of ‘Owen Jones meets Christian Grey’ fan fiction as a series of tweets on a train from Cambridge to London in my first year. We both know that these tweets are, to date, our only form of communication, but it’s probably best left undiscussed.

Similarly uncomfortable is the challenge one heckler shouted out as Jones gave a talk at the Cambridge Literary Festival earlier that day: “Run for Parliament!” I ask him if there’s any chance, and the suspiciously long spiel that follows is best condensed as: ‘I don’t have particular ambitions to do so, but I wouldn’t say no.’

“I think if I became an MP there’d be

people going: ‘See, a careerist, ambitious all along, this was all some ploy to become a politician’. You know, it wasn’t.

“Anyone who knows me knows I’ve no ambition whatsoever to do what I do today, let alone anything else, so it’s a case of why would I – if I thought it was useful, I would do it, and I think what is good about a good MP is that they’re tethered to their constituents, and they have to meet people and talk to them all the time. I try and do that, but the people I meet are often not a representative sub-section of the population.”

“Maybe I just want to do something else, maybe I want to become a teacher, I don’t know. I wouldn’t rule that out.”

I can’t quite picture him hanging up his cape to become Mr Jones the secondary school history teacher just yet, but perhaps I’m just unimaginative.

On the subject of fantasy, I ask him how realistic it is to think that Jeremy Corbyn might win the next general election in

“Maybe I just want to do something else – maybe I want to be a teacher”

2020. “Politics is very unpredictable,” he starts, before I cut off the inevitable circumlocution in pursuit of a simple oneword answer.

“I don’t know.” Close enough, I suppose, but not quite a single word.

“The SNP, they had six seats in 2010, then they win 56 a few years later. Who would have predicted Donald Trump would end up the Republican front-runner?

“I think it’ll be very hard for Labour to win the next general election, there’s no doubt about that, just in terms of all the statistics in terms of where Labour are at, losing Scotland, in terms of the distribution of electoral geography, and all the rest of it: boundary changes, the attack on Labour’s funding.

“It’s not easy at all. I think it’s very, very difficult as things stand, of course it is.”

I ask him how he thinks Corbyn could go about surmounting these multiple challenges, and his answer represents the typical down-to-earthness that he’s known

David Aaronovitch on Oxbridge’s ‘absurd snobbery’ Jack May Interviews Editor

D

avid Aaronovitch is much like you’d expect an opinion columnist to be, which would make sense, as he has written a weekly column for The Times since 2003.

He looks at you with a slightly stern gaze, takes some time after each of my questions trying to work out what angle I’m looking for, and then ploughs into an answer that is simultaneously headstrong, yet considered; argumentative, yet open to discussion.

It’s this temperament that sets him on a clear collision course with a new generation of students, at Cambridge and elsewhere, advocating policies of noplatforming, safe spaces, trigger warnings, and the old controversies we’re all sick of hearing about.

“If I have to hear the word ‘Etonian’ one more time, I swear I’ll vomit” It’s a dangerous topic to get him started on. “What I see is a generation of student politicians which is incredibly up its own arse, just to the nth degree, inventing things which can make politics about it rather than about the wider world.

“In other words, we can’t deal with the wider world of international poverty or something, so what we’ll do is we’ll have a protest about a statue on the Quad. Because that’s close.”

He’s quick to back-pedal and clarify on that one. “I’m not saying, for instance, that there might not be a valuable discussion to be had about Britain’s imperial past, but it is a way of turning a subject and diminishing it until it’s all about you, rather than about the bigger issues.

“There is that kind of self-regard masquerading as a bigger purpose.”

It’s from there that I drop in a mention of his infamous appearance on University Challenge in 1975. Having been booted out of Oxford University at the end of his first year, he moved up to Manchester to study History.

It was there that he was part of the team that responded to all questions in the final round with the names of famous Communist figures as a protest against the fact that “tiny little [Oxbridge] colleges are represented separately on University Challenge and then gigantic institutions get their one team”.

Is the system still skewed in favour of Oxford and Cambridge? “It is certainly true that amongst quite a lot of people I know, professionals, say, in North London, Oxford and Cambridge is a tick on your parental chart – ‘Oh, didn’t you do well’, and very, very good other universities which you should be proud to go to [are] somehow regarded as not as good.”

“It’s a ridiculous case of snobbery, it’s really absurd, but nevertheless it’s true.”

Oxbridge isn’t the only problem, either.

“Private school people are always wanting to debate about private schools, if I have to

GAUIS CORNELIUS

hear the word ‘Etonian’ once more I swear I’ll vomit. I’m sick of people talking about ‘so-and-so’s an Etonian’. I don’t bloody care, we don’t talk about any other school like this. Get out of my face with your endless self-regard, your endless envy, it’s corrosive.”

Getting onto perhaps less corrosive territory, I ask what he makes of Corbyn’s Labour Party as a cheerleader of the successes of Blair’s government, and a supporter of the Iraq War. The big question, then: could David Aaronovitch, the ‘Blairite’, vote for Corbyn’s Labour Party? Circumlocution kicks in, and I knuckle down for a long response.

“We often have to vote for the least worst option that we think can achieve something, so if there were an ultra-rightwing Conservative Party, I suppose.”

We get down to the heart of it: “Corbyn’s instincts over international affairs, his toleration of Putin, his effective renunciation of the alliance with the Americans and NATO — I’m not really interested in any of that.

“It would be bad for society and isn’t the direction I want to see the British people take.” Then comes the last flick of the knife: “If Jeremy Corbyn is still the leader of the Labour Party at the next election then I won’t be voting for him, and I’m a Labour Party member.”

Another tally added to the scores of moderate Labour members eyeing up their own party and not feeling entirely at home.

Corbyn HQ would do well to watch out.

13

The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

Interviews

nd sex in embarrassing places POLICY EXCHANGE

for, and that so many of our politicians fail to achieve.

“What he has to do is present a case which inspires the majority – obviously, people who aren’t left-wing activists, and who don’t think about left or right, and coming up with something relating to the everyday issues that people face about them, their families, their kids, their communities and the country, and to talk about, you know, self-employed people.

There are more self-employed people than public sector workers. You’ve got to have things to say that relate to people, and that’s what they have to do.”

Following the initial success of his book Chavs, it’s been his Guardian column that’s kept Jones at the forefront of political debate. As someone who admits that he “hates writing”, I wonder if he suffers from the same deadline-dreading tendency to spew nonsense that the rest of us seem to. Surely, there must be one column he remembers that, with hindsight, fills him

“I wrote once about One Direction.

Like, what the fuck am I doing?”

with a deep and turgid shame?

“I wrote once about One Direction. It was just like: ‘What the fuck am I doing?’”

More explanation is needed, clearly. “So my column is every Thursday, and the ‘First Thoughts’ is a quick blog every Tuesday, and it’s like an hour and a half to write it, and once I overslept.

“I just overslept. I wasn’t really at a bargaining position, so there was a thing about One Direction so I just wrote it. It was just cringe, like ‘what are you doing with your life?’”

Seeing as he’s willing to divulge the embarrassment of morning-after articles about One Direction, I decide it’s worth delving a little deeper, and so ask about his most embarrassing memory from his time at Oxford University.

He blurts out some anecdote about stealing a friend’s clothes and throwing them out of a window, but I tell him that’s not good enough. He pauses. “Well, this is really embarrassing so I don’t know if I

want to tell you.” Pause.

“I had a girlfriend for a long time at university, for over a year, and we… in the library… did something, and it ended up…

We had this thing called The Bog Sheet, which was put in every single bathroom (it does what it says on the tin, doesn’t it) in the college, read by everyone including the Master and that was the main story for three weeks.”

“So everyone – the Master, my tutors, everyone read about it, and then I won at these annual awards: ‘sex in an embarrassing place’ award. So that was pretty embarrassing. That is genuinely really embarrassing.”

I detect a slight hint of pride in his voice and the beginnings of a wry smile amidst the evident embarrassment. In his defence, it’s entirely understandable – not many of us have won a sex award, written two books, bagged a job at a national newspaper, and appeared on TV multiple times. Especially not by the age of 12.

“As a woman, you get screwed over at every stage” Jack May Interviews Editor

I

t’s a sunny afternoon, and in the hustle and bustle of the Cambridge Literary Festival’s HQ at the Union, Helen Lewis, Deputy Editor of the New Statesman, is taking some time out to reminisce with me on the stairs.

“We had proper things to be upset about in my day, and I genuinely think this”, she says, reflecting back on her time as a student at university.

“Having the Iraq War and tuition fees were the best possible things that could have happened for student activism, because everyone really knew what side they were on, there was a very clear enemy and we were all united in the fight against someone else, and I don’t think there’s a defining issue that everybody feels viscerally attracted to, and that makes it harder.

“One of the great things about activism is that feeling of solidarity and that feeling you have of fighting alongside people and changing things is an achievement. It’s much harder now for students now to get that sense of solidarity and achievement.”

In her mind, this is the key problem with students: “I think every generation of young people comes slightly to an ‘end of history’ fallacy, where you think that everyone else above you was wrong, and thankfully you’re here to be right.

“I think as you get older you kind of mellow, but you also realise that you don’t start from nothing in activism. I always

think about this with Germaine Greer.

She’s crazy, and she’s said some really crazy things, and she’s not a person that I find a very easy person. But somebody who was pleasant and accommodating and didn’t want to upset anybody wouldn’t be Germaine Greer.

“Nice women don’t make history, and something like women even being in universities at all – that happened because [of] suffragettes and people of that era, who you might not agree with all their other policies, but you’re building on the work of other people, you’re always building on other people.”

At this point, I can sense that we’re touching on some nerves here. Helen Lewis is one of a group of feminists harassed online for being so-called ‘TERFs’ – transexclusionary radical feminists – a charge that centres on Lewis’ commissioning of so-called TERFs to write for the New Statesman.

She claims it’s a misnomer: “I’m perfectly happy with people living in a different gender from the one they were born in, and I’m very up for using people’s correct pronouns and names. That all seems to me like common politeness, and that’s been the case for years now.

“You have to maintain your belief that we are on the same side – I want to fight for trans rights.

“Just because there are some bits of gender ideology that I disagree with, doesn’t mean that we’re in any way on a different page when it comes to the struggles.”

JOANNA PATERSON

“Germaine Greer is crazy, but nice women don’t make history”

This all comes down to Lewis’ concern that feminism should try harder to be for all women. “Contemporary feminism very much excludes older women.

“Something like the pension inequality campaign, that’s not going to catch on in the same way that something like nonbinary rights does because it doesn’t affect 20-year-olds.”

“You think it’s all kind of solved, and then you get near 30 and you realise that they haven’t solved that, actually, and there

will have been situations in which I didn’t get a job because someone thought ‘oh, she’s knocking on a bit, she’s probably going to take some time off and have a baby’.”

“Feminism’s something that grows throughout your life. As you go through your life you realise you get screwed over at every single stage, and you probably won’t viscerally feel it until you’re in the bracket that’s getting screwed over in that particular way.”

A cheerful assessment.

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15

The Cambridge Student • 21 April 2016

Comment

I will not silence my experience for your triggering, laddish jokes Izzy Ryan This article contains reference to sexual assault, and we advise caution before reading it.

In Cambridge, I constantly hear jokes being thrown around, comments and snarky asides that, like most people, I’ve learnt to submerge into background noise. It’s only recently that I’ve tried to teach myself to not just look awkwardly at my shoes when someone makes a “laddy” joke, which seems to increasingly just mean sexually violent. What may seem like a harmless joke to you, can mean a sleepless night of triggered memories to someone else, someone you might care about, quite possibly a friend.

I was raped when I was 12, but I was 19 when I realised it.

We’re taught all our lives what the stereotype of a rape survivor looks like: a quivering mess sitting in a dark corner, rocking back and forth. We’re told the line “don’t blame yourself ” and “it wasn’t your fault”. I didn’t identify with any of this. For years I saw rape like most people must, as something that happened to girls in

dark alleys in the middle of the night. I probably don’t look like a victim, after all, who does?

This is probably why people don’t stop to think when they talk. It wasn’t until I became a welfare officer, and was being trained in how to teach others about consent that I suddenly realised, sitting in a room of almost 100 people, that I was a victim myself.

It took even longer to realise that I’d been sexually abused.

What we’re not shown in the media is that rape takes so many forms. It isn’t necessarily being pinned against a wall, you don’t have to be held down or forced, you don’t even have to say no or try to stop your attacker. In my case, the pure shock of what was happening stopped me from even reacting.

For seven years I was so embarrassed that it wasn’t a case of telling someone, but of making sure he didn’t tell his friends. In my mind, I’d done something wrong and disgusting, everything around me taught me that what had happened made me a slut.

Even now, the main barrier to me opening up to friends isn’t the pain of the memory but the shame associated with it, and the lingering belief that

they’ll see me the way I did for so long, as dirty. It took a throwaway joke about the consent campaign from a man in my college that bugged me for days for me to suddenly sit up at 2am and realise why I was so angry, I wasn’t a slut, I had been raped.

The last thing you need when you’re trying to desperately glue back together the shattered pieces of your self-worth, is to feel like there’s somebody standing over you and laughing. While people may think their comments are harmless because they carry no real intention or malice, you can never know if somebody near you has had an experience of rape or sexual assault.

Using rape to shock people into laughter isn’t new or clever, it’s cheap, and it hurts. My body is not a punchline, I don’t care how ironic you think you’re being, my nightmares don’t feel ironic. Consent is not a feminist catchphrase for you to roll your eyes at, it can be the difference between sleeping at night and staring for hours at the ceiling, trying not to choke on tears. It’s one of the most important lessons our society has to learn. It is not a joke. Rape is not funny.

Editor-in-Chief: Elsa Maishman Founded 1999 Volume 17

Giulio Regeni It’s time for someone to take responsibility for this terrible tragedy What happened to Giulio Regeni?

He was a student who was trying to find things out, just like any other student. But unlike most of us, his research got him killed. It goes without saying that someone being targeted for attempting to conduct research screams loudly of foul play.

We need no clarification that Regini was brutally targeted, as the state in which Regeni’s body was found was horrific beyond description. For such a graphic description of torture to apply to someone so close to home, who is so intimately linked with all of us as a fellow student, is difficult to comprehend.

This is perhaps one of the most difficult things that we as journalists may ever have to cover: we are investigating and writing about the grotesque torture of a member of our own community, hyper-aware of this man’s links with our own lives and the proximity of those who knew and loved him not.

This leads us to tread a narrow line, between a heightened compassion for a victim of a truly horrendous crime and those who may be unwilling to confront yet again the sad truth of Giulio Regeni’s murder, and a need to seek justice not just for one of our own but for every other person to have found themselves in such an

Dear Cambridge, please take care of yourselves Elsa Maishman Editor in Chief This week is, apparently, Depression Awareness week. I read an article in the Guardian this morning that attempted to describe the feeling of being depressed, which in many ways was excruciatingly accurate.

Of course, everyone’s experience of depression is different, but generalisations can sometimes be helpful in making you feel less alone.

The first time that a doctor prescribed me anti-depressents he told me my condition was ‘‘not normal.... but normal for Cambridge’’.

There is an alarmingly high rate of mental illness in this University: both,

I suspect, because the kind of people who go to Cambridge are the kind of intense, perfectioninst people most likely to develop a mental illness, and because such an extreme and competitive work environment is not conducive to good mental health.

Since my diagnosis, I have become increasingly comfortable with being open about my sickness. It took a while to navigate the language that I wanted to use – should I say that I ‘‘have depression’’ that I ‘‘am depressed’’ or that I ‘‘struggle’’ with depression? The latter is my least favourite. I don’t struggle with depression, I am paralysed by it. The most comfortable language, for me,

is that of a sickness. Depression takes over your life, your existence and your personality, leaving you grieving for the productive, happy person that you can hardly believe that you used to be. It’s an ugly affliction, which has the power to make you so intensely unpleasant that you start to believe that the hatred you feel for everything and everyone around you is actually your true personality.

To any other Cambridge students with depression, or any other mental illness: I have no helpful solution.

I cannot tell you to hang in there because one day it’ll get better and everything will be rosy because you know what? It might not. All I can

tell you is that you are not alone, and that there may one day be a time when you don’t feel like the world has descended into shades of grey.

I am becoming increasingly doubtful of the existence of Cambridge students with completely rosy mental health records, but if there are any of you out there, I would reccommend staying that way.

My depression began its spiral out of control during exam term, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that exams are not worth losing your health, your life, and your personality over. So please, Cambridge: this exam term, look after yourselves and chill out.

unspeakable situation.

What we are currently seeing is a frantic battle between governments for the truth. The Egyptian government has been accused of a cover-up, and the conclusions of its investigations and autopsy have been called into question by the Italian government.

This has been aided by Regini’s mother, who has threatened to release pictures of her son’s body should the Egyptian government not cooperate satisfactorily. Add to this the voice of the UK government, which has called for a transparent investigation, though is yet to respond to a petition calling for its involvement in securing a proper investigation.

Action continues. On Friday, Amnesty will be holding a rally on King’s Parade, supported by MP Daniel Zeichner, calling for a proper investigation and drawing further attention to a case that simply must not be ignored.

Regini was killed whilst in pursuit of knowledge. Something which we all strive towards, and which makes valuable contributions to humanity as a whole, was the price of his life.

Justice is imperative, not only for Regini and those who cared about him, but for every other person to have ‘disappeared’ or to have been found following apparent torture in Egypt. This is 2016, and viola.

NANA B AGYEI

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Disabled students must be recognised Emrys Travis

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his year, the highest number of voters on record in a CUSU election turned out to support the addition of a Disabled Student’s Officer to the CUSU team. I cried happy tears into my breakfast. All my experience so far had led me to fear that disabled students’ issues inspired too little engagement for quorum to be reached, for people to care enough to vote. The astoundingly positive results gave me unprecedented hope for disabled students in Cambridge.

Why are we still too afraid to engage past an anonymous vote? And why was the term ‘disabilities officers’ described recently in the student press as “embarrassingly degrading”? Why is ‘disability’ still seen as a dirty word?

There seems to be a commonly held assumption of what a disabled person should look like. I trip over this a lot, for example, when attempting to use the word ‘accessibility’, to find that almost nobody understands it in a wider context than wheelchair or step-free access. The legal definition of disability includes anyone with a physical or mental impairment – including, though it seems to be too often forgotten, mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, incidentally pretty common among Cambridge students – that have a substantial effect on their life.

There are infinite ways in which a location or activity can be inaccessible to people with a variety of disabilities, and only a small proportion of them have anything to do with a ramp or an elevator.

On the other hand, just because people seem to default to the image of a wheelchair

user when they imagine a disabled person it definitely does not mean that those with “visible” mobility-related disabilities actually face any less disablism than those of us with what are often termed “invisible” disabilities.

In fact, although there are nuances to the many different forms of disablism faced by those with “invisible” disabilities, “visible” disabilities, and disabilities that – as many or most do in some form – transcend that pretty arbitrary binary, the fact is that there exists a default image in people’s heads. We’re taught it from birth, and it’s consistently reinforced by a disablist society, but we’re still responsible for perpetuating it, and it’s the Scary Disabled Person.

When I was thinking about writing this piece I wasn’t sure if it should be coming from me. 99% of the time – when I’m not unable to stand or walk normally from pain, or exhibiting behaviours that make my autism obvious – a stranger who looked at me wouldn’t know I was disabled, wouldn’t associate me with the Scary Disabled Person that characterises terms like ‘disability’ and means that those who are privileged enough to embarrassedly dismiss those terms often do so. But also, crucially, I’m from a very white middleclass background.

I didn’t always need to associate myself with the word “disabled” in order to have enough support available to me to keep going.

This is true of a lot of people at Cambridge.

Let’s be clear – I’m not talking about anyone who chooses for personal reasons of any kind, not to personally identify themselves

Think about how your privilege shapes your ability to move through this University, and the wider world.

as disabled, even if they would have the right to if they wanted. Those labels are always entirely up to the individual to use or not use. But I am talking about people who are happy to speak openly about considering the position of Disabilities Officer “degrading”. I’m talking about people who see disabled people as an ‘Other’ that they don’t want to associate with. And I’m talking about everyone who is privileged enough to continue doing so – who doesn’t need to access the Disability Resource Centre in order to get what’s necessary for them to function through their degree, who can afford to study with disabilities without applying for Disabled Student’s Allowance, who is comfortable enough to remain socially in neurotypical university circles without needing support from disabled communities – and who is, therefore, insulated from the kind of experience that would make them have to question their view of ‘disability’ as a dirty word. People who aren’t ‘Scary Disabled People’.

Think about how your privilege shapes your ability to move through this university, and the wider world. And no matter your identity or experiences, take a step back, think about what the word ‘disability’ conjures up for you, and reassess. Respect the work of the disabled activists who have got us this far, and, just maybe – even if you don’t identify as disabled – stand in solidarity with us, rather than treating us like something to be embarrassed about.

MICHA FRAZER-CARROLL

This is what ‘era really looks like Jason Okundaye

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’ve invested careless amounts of emotional energy in the past year reading through mindless comments on articles which lament the loss of ‘the coup d’état’ of ‘PC culture’ and the left’s wish to ‘censor everything’. Yet all leftwing students are achieving is elucidating how society is constructed in a way that disenfranchises and oppresses minorities.

Considering glaringly obvious racial inequalities in society, this should go without saying. Yet Peterhouse alumnus David Mitchell, recently stated: “racism in history, it goes without saying, doesn’t go without saying.” It is peculiar that Mitchell states this in the same breath as arguing that the request for the Cecil Rhodes statue to fall is an attempt to erase history; not simply because the ‘Rhodes Must Fall’ (RMFO) campaign is literally based on the fact that Rhodes’ racism has gone without saying, but because it unpacks the mentalities behind this fallacy that minorities are somehow ‘censoring’ history by exposing the atrocities of the past.

True historical erasure is the lack of visibility given to people of colour who have contributed to Britain’s progression.

But more so, erasure is dismissing RMFO because Rhodes was ‘a man of his time’ when Rhodes’ peers actually opposed his atrocities. Such atrocities include the establishment of a paramilitary force, the British South Africa Company’s Police (BSACP), and the systematic murder of over 60,000 black South Africans.

Erasure is situating the Benin Bronze Okukor in Jesus College’s hall with an irrelevant Latin inscription and no identification that it was raided in the Benin Expedition of 1897, which resulted in the murder of thousands of my ancestors and the exile of Oba Ovonramwen. Erasure is African diaspora studying in a college that has a ‘Rustat Conference Room’ with scarce public information to identify that Tobias Rustat was a slaver, and eating in a hall with a portrait of Jan Smuts with no recognition that he oppressed Africans with skin like theirs.

People cite circumstances of the past as reason to dismiss condemnation of these

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Comment

St. John’s studentships are an imperfect solution Julia Stanyard

ERIC TITCOMBE

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asure of history’ figures, yet had Rustat enslaved western white men, or Churchill constructed a man-made famine in Britain rather than Bengal, declaring, “I hate [Britons]… they are a beastly people with a beastly religion”, there would be no Rustat Room, and no Churchill College. Figures are only granted historical context when it is black and brown bodies spared, not white ones.

The proposed removal of Rhodes’ statue, Harvard Law School’s crest, and other decolonisation moves are not attempts to ‘erase history’ but rather to demand that institutions confront the historical systematic oppression of people of colour. The action of removing statues is not unparalleled. Rather it has been a historical response to recognising the inappropriateness of celebrating an immoral figure through something as ceremonial as a statue, as shown by the removal of images of Hosni Mubarak in Egypt. My History textbooks still taught me plenty about Lenin and Stalin because removal of ceremony does not equal historical erasure. Rhodes was aware of the importance of immortalisation through art, a form of celebration which detracts from a holistic perspective of the man and his atrocities.

What intrigues me about Rhodes is the public’s sudden obsession with remembering him. Paul Maylam asks how it was “that such a mediocre person could have generated …so many monuments and memorials, so much commemorative naming, so many anniversary celebrations?”, concluding that “Rhodes desired, and purchased, his own immortality”. Yet even Google-able statistics reveal that interest in Rhodes only really picked up when ethnic minorities highlighted his crimes. And so it seems that objection to RMFO and similar anti-colonial movements are, really, more to do with silencing minorities, resistance to change and failure to face up to the reality of colonial history, not care for Rhodes himself. If people truly cared about so-called ‘erasure of history’, they’d recognise that Rhodes was as despicable when he was alive as he is today. And so, to David Mitchell and those of similar persuasions, left-wing students have done their homework. Please do yours.

s you might have heard, university maintenance grants – which have acted as a lifeline to thousands of students for over 50 years – have been scrapped, to be replaced with all-new larger-than-ever student loans.

In response, St. John’s College, Cambridge, have announced a new ‘studentships scheme’, which will support students under a certain household income threshold with day-to-day maintenance using money sourced from St John’s alumni. Clearly, this is something to be welcomed. The College have acted to help their students who most need financial support, and it’s impressive that this has all been achieved through alumni relations.

Yet this is precisely the point: this is what John’s have been able to achieve. John’s the proverbially wealthy, John’s with the wide network of alumni who are apparently both able and willing to support such an extensive scheme. Other less wealthy colleges will simply be unable to match the funding, resources and opportunities that John’s have to offer.

This leads to a strange situation.

Hypothetically, we could have two freshers arriving next academic year, both from a similar financial background. They could do the same course, they could even get the same grades. Yet one of them will leave Cambridge with thousands of pounds more of unsustainable debt, all based on the arbitrary distinction of which College they happened to go to. It baffles me that anyone could look at this system and think: “Oh yeah, this is fine. This is fit for purpose”.

I would like to make it clear that this is not a criticism of the studentships scheme. As

The maintenance grant cuts provide yet another barrier to students

I said before, John’s have made a practical move to use their available resources to protect their students from punitive Government cuts, particularly after this generation of students has been burdened with higher tuition fees. I am not even levelling criticism at the University itself.

Money coming in to each independent college, particularly from alumni, often comes with terms and conditions attached as to its use. In many cases, the colleges are not free to use their money how they like.

What it all comes down to is the fact that this Government has failed to fulfil its traditional role in providing adequate support to students from all backgrounds, so that poorer students are not put at an untenable financial disadvantage to their

wealthier peers. In my opinion, this is not so much a ‘role’ as a ‘fundamental duty’.

This comes at a time when it has been reported – just this week – that research shows graduates from wealthy families are higher earners than their counterparts from lower income families, even if they have done the same course at the same university. The maintenance grant cuts provide yet another barrier to students just trying to make their way in the world.

So by failing to fulfil this duty, the Government has revealed further how strained and creaky the inner workings of this institution really are, the flaws inherent in an antiquated college system that is not always fit for purpose, and how these flaws may well be impossible to rectify.

Fair access to university is the path to equality Hayden Banks

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n the latest revelations over Higher Education, we were informed that the age-old belief that studying at university provides a route for social mobility is indeed a fallacy.

I must be one among many students across the country that feels completely disheartened upon opening a newspaper to find spurring accusations that the £9,000 we pay might not really make any difference to our life chances. In a job market that has never been so competitive, it seems logical that progressing to university and gaining a good degree will improve our chances of success. Not any more.

I don’t think that many of the criticisms launched at university tuition in the last few years come as a shock to most of us. A generation ago, university was a path for the academically elite with a small number of high-class research institutions training the brightest students for well-paid jobs such as Medicine or Law. The rest would attend

polytechnics with weaker job prospects or gain vocational training and carve out a successful, albeit less lucrative, career. But this convenient, segregating, and damaging educational setup was turned upside down in 1992 when polytechnics were granted university status and everyone was on an even keel. Or so they thought. Thus ensued the spurring accusations that we are not all equal, and someone paying £9,000 to study Law at Oxbridge is, shockingly, getting more for their money than someone studying Furniture at London Metropolitan.

But the most recent findings throw all of this into question, by suggesting that it doesn’t matter if you attend the best-ranked university in the country or the lowest ranked, your socio-economic background will continue to influence your future.

The study found that graduates from the top 20% of wealthy families were typically earning 30% more than the remaining 80% of the graduate population upon leaving, even if they were at the same university studying the same course. The lesson:

Meritocracy is all but a dream in Britain today

progress in Britain is predicated on family background, more so than ever before.

I would attribute this to a number of things. Firstly, if you are from a wealthy background, it often comes hand in hand with a wealth of contacts and networks that students can utilise when finding a job.

Regional disparity is also rife, meaning that someone living in London will naturally be exposed to better career opportunities than someone like myself, tucked away in a corner of North Wales.

Whilst hard work has got me to where I am, one cannot escape their background, and the sad truth persists that meritocracy is all but a dream in Britain today. To change, it will be a slow and arduous process, but the only choice we have is to pursue the ‘work hard’ mentality that is drilled into the mind-sets of those from poorer backgrounds from an early age.

Inspire everyone with good teaching and fair and equal access to the country’s best universities and slowly, but surely, the tides will turn.

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The Puzzles Column

Cryptic Crossword

Across 1. Uniform changes into row; wreak havoc. (8) 4. First of diplomat’s home is outside fishing utensil and destroys rings. (5) 5. Find new rendering of song bird. (4) 6. Headless horse movement will go off. (3) 7. First lady at the end of the day. (3) 8. Cook airline with a measurement of motion. (4)

Down 1. Dog runs uphill. (4) 2. Baby goat partly rings doorbell: joking! (7) 3. Creature’s time is iificult, meeting 80% of a rising cereal. (8) 5. Battle from this side looks fresh and inflamed. (3)

Compiled by Cameron Wallis

The world of the football cartooni Paul Hyland Sport Editor

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avid Squires’ rise to prominence has been meteoric. An illustration graduate from Cardiff University, his weekly Guardian cartoon unpicking controversial footballing issues leaves none safe from his sharp, sardonic wit, from Galactic Emperor Sepp Blatter, to master-of-the-dark arts José Mourinho, to FA board members cartoonishly decked out in monocles and top hats.

Squires accepts that he’s found a niche within a medium that’s often looked down upon: “When you meet people and you’re studying illustration at uni, especially in the early 90s, you know the term ‘cartoon’ was something derogatory. If someone’s work was of the cartoon style it would be slightly sneered at. I don’t think comics had quite the same mainstream appeal that they do now, and even now I don’t think I have any comic fans, it’s mostly football fans.”

It was a spur-of-the-moment move Down Under in 2009 that saw the stars align in his favour: “When I wasn’t at the beach and doing all the things you’d expect of someone who’d just moved to Australia, I picked up the pencil again and started drawing, just writing and drawing about the things that made me angry or excited – I found that I could express myself much easier through that medium than through traditional illustration, and so I plugged away at that.”

“The break really came around the 2014 World Cup,” he continues, “When it started, I stuck a cartoon up on Twitter of Sepp Blatter arriving

at the opening game dressed like the Emperor from Star Wars.”

“Then the next day I did another cartoon which was about Robin van Persie’s header against Spain, and suddenly it got hundreds and hundreds of retweets.” Van Persie’s incredible header against the tournament holders saw itself lampooned in a single panel with the Dutch striker soaring above defender Sergio Ramos, utterly terrified of just how high he’s managed to jump. Suddenly, football fans knew who Squires was.

“Living in Australia – that’s where the time zone worked in my favour,” he adds, “The games were being screened at 4am and 6am here, so I then had the whole day to think, ‘right, what was interesting about that, what was funny?’ and then I would be able to stick up a cartoon and put it online at a time when people in the UK were

Government plans to criminalise dopin Sophie Penney

Sudoku

Solutions from Volume 17, Lent Issue 7

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oping is certainly immoral.

It is cheating. But should it be a criminal offence? David Cameron thinks so.

The Prime Minister plans for doping to be classified as a criminal offence in the UK, calling for a law to be put

by Thomas Prideaux Ghee in place by the 2017 World Athletics Championships in London. This comment follows the series of recent global doping scandals, most notably in athletics and tennis.

Currently, doping offences are dealt with by the sport’s governing body and anti-doping agencies. But in countries such as Spain and Italy, doping is also a criminal offence for which athletes can be charged.

Kenya, a country at the heart of the recent doping scandal in athletics, is in the process of criminalising performance-enhancing drugs.

The World Anti-Doping Agency argues that its sanctions are enough:

bans for first offences have been increased from two to four years, ensuring that the athletes miss at least one Olympics, and there is a lifetime ban for second offences.

Doping does not only affect the career of the offender but also those of his or her competitors. It prevents clean athletes from getting the results they deserve. Widespread scandals dirty the name of the sport itself.

Sports like cycling where doping has been commonplace see their athletes regarded suspiciously: there were constant rumours last summer that Chris Froome was doping on the Tour de France, which he went on to win.

The allegations were proven false, but the air of mistrust remains.

Those who dope act immorally whilst pretending to be innocent.

Accordingly, they should be strongly punished. The criminalisation of doping would act as a greater deterrent, hopefully reducing the number of athletes taking these performance-

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ist: The Guardian’s David Squires just getting up and going to work. It just went nuts. I couldn’t really explain why that was, but I think there’s an element of luck there.”

I point out that the job description of a cartoonist is primarily to make people laugh. How does he balance that with the task of having a serious point to make? “It’s not easy,” he admits, “Once I did one about the plan to close qualification for the European Cup. That was something I felt quite strongly about.”

“I suppose the trick is measuring that anger and that frustration, as any good football manager would say, channeling that aggression so you don’t end up like Steven Gerrard running onto the pitch and kicking someone up the arse and getting a red card straight away,” he laughs, half apologising for offending my Liverpudlian sensibilities.

I wonder whether Squires’ obvious talent for making light of the game makes cartoons a richer medium.

Can they persuade in a manner that traditional print media can’t? His answer: “I think it’s clearly just a different way of presenting the same argument. Being able to present things visually, there’s that comedy element where you can use those slapstick jokes, obviously that you wouldn’t do in print media. Every week the lawyers look at what I do before it goes up.

Occasionally they’ll tell me to change stuff so I don’t get sued!”

He concludes: “Sometimes, I take a step back and think: ‘Bloody hell, you’re being paid to draw cartoons about football.’ I think it’s healthy not to think too much about that stuff, because these things can change very quickly. I’m just enjoying it all while it lasts.”

DAVID SQUIRES

JOHN SKODAK

ng could help to clean up British sport enhancing drugs.

The difficulty lies in enforcing antidoping laws. Would international athletes competing on British soil be subject to such laws? It is unlikely that the countries will allow the extradition of their athletes if doping is not a criminal offence in the athlete’s home country. If British athletes used performance-enhancing drugs in foreign countries, would they have to

answer to British law on their return?

Making doping illegal is not a simple question of whether it is a serious enough act to be worthy of criminalisation.

This issue needs to form a larger part of global discussions, not just UK parliamentary ones, as the widespread scandals show that, as it stands, not enough is being done to combat this pervasive issue.

MIRSASHA

JON OSBORNE

Hammering out a deal: Life improving at West Ham United Jack Ranson

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n a deal hailed as a ‘victory’ by stadium bosses, it has been revealed that West Ham United will pay £2.5 million to play 25 matches at the former Olympic Stadium from the upcoming season.

They will not be charged for matchday policing, stewards, goalposts or other day-to-day maintenance. However, they will be faced with increased costs for any extra matches, or if they are successful in the Champions League.

Many have been critical of the London Legacy Development Corporation (LLDC), who have been the main negotiators in the deal. “My dog could have negotiated a better deal for the taxpayer,” said former Leyton Orient chairman, Barry Hearn.

What might be a defeat for the taxpayer is a clear victory for West

Ham United and its fans. The move from the popular Boleyn Ground to a repurposed Olympic Stadium will double gate receipts to around 60,000, coinciding with success on the pitch and the increasingly likely prospect of European football next season.

West Ham’s current ground at Upton Park will see its final Premier League match on Tuesday 10 May, as the Hammers host Manchester United. The clash could prove decisive for a Champions League spot, with the London club currently only three points away from their North-West rivals and the coveted fourth place.

Regardless of the outcome, the match will be a momentous one in the history of West Ham United Football Club. In a statement, the club’s board insisted that it is “a great deal for both West Ham United and also the taxpayer.” They added: “Someone

renting the stadium for 25 days a year cannot be responsible for 365 days’ running costs.”

Complicating negotiations for the stadium has been the contentious issue of Olympic legacy – the flagship venue in Stratford has cost over £700 million, including the cost of the regeneration that has been required to make the stadium fit for Premier League football.

West Ham co-chairman David Gold tweeted that “without West Ham the Olympic Stadium would become a ‘white elephant’ costing the tax payer millions.” Others, such as the Taxpayers’ Alliance, have claimed that West Ham’s deal is a “ludicrously generous taxpayer subsidy”.

But whatever the politics behind it, the men, women and children in claret and blue have reason to be cheerful about their club’s new-found home.

Sport for charity: The perfect way to let off steam William Lyon-Tupman

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hile there may be little opportunity at this time of year to think of anything other than revision, a bit of work/life balance is always welcome. But what if you’re not sporty? Or, at least, you don’t feel sporty? Well, there are many incentives to inspire you to get those running shoes on.

Could you think of anything more worthwhile than putting down the books and doing sport for charity?

The thought of making a difference, of helping further the research being carried out against diseases such as cancer, provides all the motivation some need to get up and go. Raising money for charity is, for me, one of the most rewarding things I can do – from the fundraising itself to the actual event, the feeling of excitement is unparalleled – and you can remember this while you’re training.

It doesn’t even have to be running.

True, many people do sponsored runs, but there are lots of fun ways

of fundraising, such as going on a skydive, a long walk, a long-distance swim within a certain time goal, cycling from one county (or country!) to another, and many more. No distance or time is too short or too long; it’s all up to you.

What’s more, it really does make a difference – to the people supported by the charities, and to the charities who make it possible. The British Heart Foundation, for instance, could use a £10 donation to equip a child with a heart disease awareness pack encouraging them to live a healthier lifestyle through better education.

With just over £50 raised, you could fund a dummy mannequin that could be purchased by the charity, in order for workers to practise CPR techniques which would equip people with the skills to save more lives. With just over £1,000 raised, you could fund a full day of research against heart disease – including all staff wages, use of equipment, laboratories and some of the best technology in existence.

As a cross-country runner, I have

found running for charity an extremely rewarding experience. I have run four 10k running races for charity over the past four years – two for the British Heart Foundation, and two for Cancer Research UK – and with the help of many friends and family members, I’ve raised over £14,400 for the two charities over these four races.

Nothing is impossible, and it’s a pretty exciting thing to do – to be able to raise money for such a worthy cause, to keep fit, and to maintain a healthy balance with your work.

NEIL CORNWALL

Sport

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Doping as law

Is a ban enoughto deter cheating? p. 19 →

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/sport

NIKRUGBY23

The University of Cambridge Men’s Lacrosse team secure domination in the tense East versus West playoff against Bath University

Image: William Lyon Tupman

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Cambridge 3 Bristol 2

someone wrote this

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resh off claiming the British Universities’ ‘Ice Hockey Association Division One South’ title, the Cambridge Men’s Blues faced the winners of the North division, the Nottingham Mavericks. Nottingham’s league-leading offence was a stiff test for the nation’s best defence, but the Light Blues prevailed in a hard fought match, winning their first ever national title.

Chances were traded in an open first period that ended with Nottingham up 2-1. The Light Blues conceded the 3-1 goal early in the second period, but big saves from the Cambridge keeper helped the defence buckle down and begin the Light Blues’ comeback. The period ended 3-3; mid-way through the third period, Cambridge had scored four unanswered goals to lead 5-3. A late Nottingham goal made it tense, but time wound down and the title went home to Cambridge with the score 5-4.

Jon Wall

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his year saw a rebirth of canoe polo in Cambridge. At the BUCS league championship last weekend, an understrength Cambridge side won three and lost three matches, finishing a respectable 15th out of the 31 teams in the Open Division.

The team demonstrated clear growth throughout the tournament, epitomised by the final game’s clean-sheet victory over a Liverpool side who had defeated the Cambridge team in the opening round of matches. Highlights included a tight 3-2 victory against Bristol and a high-tempo, golden goal win against Surrey (5-4). Credit must go to Nathan Hammond for exceptional performance, finishing as one of the leading scorers in the tournament with 12 goals across six games. However, room for improvement could also be found, with a narrow loss to Oxford set to be remedied in the upcoming Varsity Match later this term.

Men’s Lacrosse

Cambridge Nottingham

Canoe Polo

Men’s Ice Hockey

Cambridge dominates Bath in promotion battle

Cambridge 10 Bath 3 Stuart Cummings

C

ambridge capped off an incredibly successful season when they took to the field against Bath Lacrosse Club in the East versus West play-off last weekend. Having only lost four games all season, Cambridge were confident.

A tense first half ensued, with Cambridge going into half time 2:1.

Second half, Cambridge started to exert their dominance, with ex-National Collegiate Athletic Association AllAmerican, Jono Linebaugh, dancing his way through the Bath defence repeatedly.

Despite attacker Jimmy Hatswell being sent off three times in the space of only 10 minutes, Cambridge’s defence ultimately stood strong.

As Linebaugh found more space behind the Bath defence, Cambridge opened up enough of a cushion to quell any dreams of a comeback, and with goals from Müskens, Baddoo and Hatswell, ended the game to seal promotion.