LSU Law - The Civilian, September 2015

THE

CIVILIAN CIVILIAN

A STUDENT PUBLICATION FOR THE LSU LAW CENTER COMMUNITY SEPTEMBER 2015 | VOLUME 12 | ISSUE 2

LSU Professor Fired for Language in the Classroom

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Robert Glueck Staff Writer

Halee Maturin Staff Writer

ed Stark believed that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. Yet when he attempted to exercise his right of free speech and denounce the King of Westeros, Stark faced a different kind of due process. No one will argue that our modern notions of free speech are not even remotely similar to King Joffrey’s.

Nevertheless, Dr. Teresa Buchanan believes that within the university setting, both free speech and due process could be refined.

Buchanan, formerly a tenured professor of early childhood education at LSU, was dismissed from the University on June 19, 2015. Following an investigation by LSU Human Resources Management and a subsequent hearing before a Faculty

Committee, Buchanan was found to have violated the Americans with Disabilities Act and the University’s policies on sexual harassment. Prior to her dismissal, Buchanan served on LSU’s faculty for nearly twenty years.

Buchanan first learned of the allegations against her on December 20, 2013 when Dean Damon Andrew of the LSU College of Human Sciences and Education informed her that she had been removed from her teaching position pending an HRM investigation into complaints made against her by an LSU student and a local school superintendent. These complaints were based on Buchanan’s use of profanity, including her repeated use of the phrase “F… no” and her use of a slang term for vagina which implies cowardice.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

but finding no evidence of an ADA violation, a committee of LSU faculty members recommended to President F. King Alexander that Buchanan be censured.

President Alexander acknowledged the Committee’s recommendation but recommended that the LSU Board of Supervisors dismiss Buchanan [based on both the faculty committee’s findings and the HRM findings.]

With regard to her use of profanity, Buchanan believes her words “were taken out of context and misinterpreted.”

Buchanan admits to using “F… no” during a conversation with a faculty member who interrupted one of her classes, while the slang term for vagina was used off campus during a simulated parent-teacher conference. Buchanan also acknowledges “occasional use of profanity and off-flavor jokes” but defends her use of those words as part of her teaching methodology. According to Buchanan, the University’s attempt to regulate her methodology amounts to a violation of her academic freedom.

According to our own Constitutional Law Professor Paul Baier, no freedom is absolute, even those promised by the First Amendment. An individual’s freedom of speech always has limitations, such as it must be in an appropriate setting and must abide by any other state or federal laws. The academic freedom that Dr. Buchanan has claimed as protection is also not absolute. While it is true that college professors have great leeway in what they can teach and discuss in their classrooms, they must stay within the bounds of their curriculum and maintain professionalism.

Professor Baier adds that with any issue of First Amendment rights violations, the facts of each case are paramount

and the outcome of the case is wholly dependent on the facts. He states that Dr. Buchanan’s scenario “depends on the facts – I always emphasize that – it would depend on the circumstances as to whether she would have free speech protection against this firing.”

Professor Baier also reiterates that every constitutional freedom, even that of free speech, has its limits.

LSU has issued a statement denying Buchanan’s assertions regarding her academic freedom, which also states that Buchanan’s removal was necessary in light of a “consistent pattern of hostile and abusive behavior that negatively impacted LSU students.”

Buchanan acknowledges that her teaching methods are designed to create some degree of discomfort “as part of a sound pedagogy” but says that she has never been told by a student that her language was offensive. “Had it been pointed out to me that a student was uncomfortable I would have corrected my behavior and language immediately,” she says.

Buchanan believes that the University’s decision to initiate dismissal proceedings instead of allowing her to correct her behavior amounts to a violation of her due process rights.

While LSU has not commented directly on the issue of due process, PS-104, which is LSU’s Policy Statement regarding Dismissal for Cause for Faculty Members, provides that dismissal proceedings should be initiated “after a full and careful investigation according to the procedures of due process.”

PS-104 also provides that exercise of academic freedom “shall not be grounds for dismissal or disciplinary action.”

However, the policy statement does not mandate that a faculty member be

Flory Final: October 1st

given opportunities to correct his or her behavior before dismissal proceedings are initiated. Most notably, PS-104 also states that the final decision regarding a recommendation for dismissal with cause rests with the Chancellor.

While there is no indication that LSU’s dismissal of Buchanan has violated its own policies, Professor Baier is still unsettled by the University’s decision.

He believes that it is possible Buchanan should have been given an opportunity to rehabilitate her behavior based on his understanding of the situation.

Professor Baier adds that “the facts of record cause serious doubt about the fair play and serious doubt as to whether due process of law was afforded to Professor Buchanan.”

The American Association of University Professors has sided with Buchanan on the issue and has issued letters to the University condemning its decision to dismiss Buchanan. In addition, the LSU Faculty Senate is considering recommending that President Alexander be censured during its October 6 meeting, based on Alexander’s decision to fire Buchanan.

Despite the legal issues raised by her dismissal, Buchanan says she is not currently pursuing litigation against the University. Presently, her priorities are “gas and groceries” along with finding a new job. As Buchanan appears to be focusing only on the essentials, perhaps it would be best to follow her lead. As any Stark will remind you, “Winter is Coming.”

Disclaimer: Views expressed in The Civilian, a designated public forum for student expression, do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, the LSU Law Center or its student body. If you are interested in contributing to a topic or wish to provide us with corrections, please email TheCivilianLSU@gmail.com or speak to a member of the editorial staff. http://sites.law.lsu.edu/Civilian

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Dear Reader:

The shadows cast by the stately oaks feel crisper, traffic on Highland road is creeping along at a glacial pace as pedestrian students dart in front of moving vehicles, and precipitation has (allegedly) ceased in Death Valley. It seems that the fall semester is in full swing at LSU. With the August issue, The Civilian staff focused on bringing its readers up to speed on what happened over the summer. In this September issue, our team is shifting its focus to the start of the 2015-2016 school year. From waging war in the law school parking lot, to university-wide issues that have piqued our interests this semester, this issue speaks to the PMH community – its triumphs, its tropes, and its traditions. From the entire Civilian staff, we wish you the best of luck as you continue to settle in to the new school year, and we hope you enjoy this issue.

Cheers, Mallory Richard

SBA S T A T E O F A F FA I R S PMHers,

Clare Sanchez, SBA President

It’s hard to believe we’re almost halfway through the semester. 1Ls, congratulations on surviving this long!

2Ls, take a few deep breaths - it gets worse before it gets better. And 3Ls, if you haven’t maxed out absences yet, keep up the great work!

Student organizations have already been hard at work putting on events this semester. The Running Club’s weekly runs have been wildly successful, and their recent Beer Mile was no exception. The Athletics Committee just wrapped up the Annual Mango’s Volleyball Tournament, and is looking forward to some fall kickball and some friendly chess competition. The Powderpuff Football Game is right around the corner, and the 2L and 3L teams have been preparing for what is sure to be another epic showdown.

Come out October 2nd to support a great cause - the tatas! Donations for the Susan G. Komen Foundation will be accepted at the game. (Go 3Ls!) SBA would also like to extend a huge thank you to the Tailgate Club for all of their efforts so far this season. Thanks 3

to all of you for keeping us well fed - and so well hydrated! 3Ls, ready to a raise a glass? To yourself?

The Annual Hats n’ Canes Celebration is quickly approaching! Mark your calendars for October 23-24.

The 3L Class Officers have worked tirelessly to plan a fantastic weekend for our families and friends, so be on the lookout for ticket information. Finally, SBA would like to extend a big welcome to the newly elected 1L Class Officers. They’ve hit the ground running and have already planned our HalLAWeen Party. LSU Law will be taking over Mike’s in Tigerland October 31st! As always, SBA encourages each of you to reach out with questions, comments, and concerns. We’re doing what we can to make law school life a little easier, so your feedback is always appreciated!

Have a great week and GEAUX TIGERS! Clare Sanchez

SBA Executive President

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

To say the Fall Day of Service was a success would be an understatement.

There was a record breaking number of participants this year according to 2L PILS Elizabeth Wong Community Service Staff Writer Chair, Sara Richards.

Last year, there were about 40 students that participated.

With over 125 participants, the event received nothing but positive feedback both from students and the community. This year students were able to volunteer at a number of different sites: Habitat for Humanity, BREC, Connections for Life, Cat Haven, Companion Animal Alliance, Friends of the Animals, Thrift stores, and THRIVE. LLM student, Thakshila Jayasinghe, volunteered at Companion Animal Alliance. She was able to “socialize with the cats” and her love of animals made her experience worthwhile. Jayasinghe states, “It was organized very well and I loved the whole experience. I hope there will be many more events like that.”

The positive feedback didn’t stop there.

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3L student, Sharica Gray, had equally positive remarks about the event as well.

Gray volunteered at a thrift store. She decided to participate because it’s her last year and she has never participated in the fall event. Sharica spent her Saturday organizing clothes and antiques and states, “It’s fun being able to experience peers outside of school and help others simultaneously.” You can bet on seeing Sharica at the Pause for a Cause event next semester! When asked what she would tell a 1L next year about the event, Gray said, “This event is a good way to get to know the need in the Baton Rouge community. Take a break from studying to serve, have fun, and earn hours toward the crawfish bowl at the end of the year.”

3L PILS President, Lauren Bradberry volunteered at Habitat for Humanity for the event, where she helped build the frame of a home! Bradberry commented “I love volunteer work. As law students, we are all pretty inwardly focused, because you kind of have to be. Doing service work helps bring me back to reality and to connect with people in my community. It helps remind us that being

a law student and future lawyer is more than academics.” Bradberry, as well as many of the other volunteers, enjoyed interacting with fellow law students that they normally would not. In addition, many volunteers voiced how much they enjoyed spending time with community members as well.

When asked what she would say to a 1L next year about participating, Bradberry said, “As I see it, you cannot study 24/7, it’s impossible so you have some amount of free time. What you chose to do with your free time really makes your law school career. I personally like giving back (and to sprinkle in some social events). Plus, it gives 1Ls an opportunity to interact with upperclassmen.”

Hats off to Sara Richard, 2L Community Service Chair, and the rest of PILS for such a successful event. Hoping to see as many participants next semester at Pause for a Cause! If anyone is interested in getting more involved in community service, shoot an email to PILS at lsupils@gmail.com for information on events throughout the year.

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

PROSECUTION and the ELECTORATE Most countries do not elect their prosecutors. The United States, in fact, is the only country in the world that does. This brings a uniquely political tint to what, in other countries, is a purely administrative criminal justice system.

Originally, the United States was no different.

Immediately following the Revolutionary Jacob Longman War, governors and legislatures appointed Staff Writer district attorneys and prosecutors. Without getting into too much history, this began to change around the 1830’s and by the start of the Civil War, this was the case in about 75% of states. Today, only three states do not elect their district attorneys and Louisiana is not one of these.

The coupling of the checks and balances of democracy with the office of the prosecutor provides some unique advantages.

First, it allows the people to directly choose their candidates.

Regardless of the merits of this approach, it certainly decreases the risk that a candidate will be appointed through nepotism or cronyism. It’s worth noting that this was the original reason the states elected their prosecutors.

Second, it allows the people to “un-choose” their district attorney. This last point is arguably more significant than the first. When something isn’t working in a democracy, or the people are otherwise generally unhappy with the status quo, the assumption is that the electorate will simply vote the ineffective out of office. The people have this mechanism for change, and when used it is essential to the continued operation of a democratic system of government.

Third, and finally, it centralizes criminal policy at a local level.

This allows people to directly support policies that they favor and actively campaign against policies they’re against in a way that will have an immediate impact. It also allows, when coupled with state sovereignty, for different criminal acts to be prosecuted in different ways according to the beliefs and ideals of the respective state and city. A prime example of this is Colorado, where prosecutors in both Denver and Boulder decided not to pursue convictions for marijuana possession before it was legalized.

All of the positives aside, the marriage between politics and prosecutors presents some problems. While combining democracy and the criminal justice system brought the

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best of both systems to the other, it also brought the worst.

The biggest, and most pressing issue is that about 95% of incumbents running for the district attorney win re-election.

About 85% of those are unopposed in the general election.

There are a couple of reasons for the lack of opposition but the most pragmatic is likely one of the most political. It does not behoove a practicing ADA to try to take his boss’s job.

It also does not behoove a practicing defense attorney to try to take the job of a Chief Prosecutor. While the rewards are great, failure could very likely mean a de facto banishment from the legal community the attorney comes from. The risks, quite simply, outweigh the reward.

Another issue concerns policies and character. Social science tells us that the American electorate places a disproportionate amount of regard in their perception of a candidate’s character as opposed to his platform. Merits of this aside, this balancing effectively nullifies the theory that the electorate will choose an individual who best represents the criminal justice policies they would like to see implemented. It’s not that an individual with a chosen character wouldn’t apply the policies the electorate wants but simply that the electorate does not place a premium in their decision making process on those policies.

Further, voter apathy also plays a part. Criminal justice administration is a very narrow and specialized field. Concepts and theories regarding its application are complex and even an informed voter would have a hard time staying on top of the newest research and the actions of the District Attorney to integrate those findings into his office and policies. The ramifications of even the most minor changes can take a considerable amount of time and energy to process. Most voters don’t turn out for the Presidential election and very smart people spend a large amount of time to make the platforms of each presidential candidate simple to understand.

None of this substantively, in actuality, occurs in the election for a district attorney.

This column began, in the research phase, as an examination of the way politics influenced the application of criminal laws.

Unfortunately, it morphed into something else; an examination of democracy and criminal justice in America. The truth is as tragic as it is simple: people rarely hold their prosecutors responsible for the application of criminal laws. Therefore, politics rarely affects the application of it all.

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

There comes a time during l a w school w h e n one must venture Annie Beckstrom into the Staff Writer unknown world of the fourth floor.

Whether to meet with a professor in hopes of snagging a coveted old test or lay claim to a hidden study room, the first trip up the lobby elevator can induce feelings of anticipation and uncertainty. At first glance, the layout seems familiar to any academic institution. One will find a row of offices with doors propped open, some exuding a friendly invitation, others an “enter if you dare” appeal. A law professor is tucked away in each room, hidden behind heaping stacks of paperwork and a vast array of legal literature. Chatter between colleagues about a Socratic lecture gone awry can be heard down the hall.

Stroll a little further and one will stumble upon an

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unexpected gem, the office LSU law students have coined, “Professor Baier’s Museum.”

Professor Paul R. Baier has surely earned his place in the folklore of LSU Law. After graduating cum laude from Harvard Law School and teaching at University of Michigan Law School and University of Tennessee College of Law, Professor Baier joined the LSU Law faculty in 1972. The Judicial Fellows Commission selected Professor Baier to serve as the Supreme Court fellow from 1975-1976, a time in which he assisted Chief Justice Burger and acquired a keen knowledge of the history of the Court.

He managed to find the time during his fellowship to script and narrate the first film ever made inside the Supreme Court, aptly entitled “Supreme Court.” Professor Baier’s passions for judicial history and playwriting coincided once again when he published, produced and directed Father Chief Justice: Edward Douglass White and the Constitution, a play that

details the storied career of Justice E.D. White, the only Louisianian to serve as Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

With such a myriad of interests, it comes as no surprise that Professor Baier boasts an extensive collection of treasures. Mementos are perched like exhibits in a museum, each nook of his office telling its own story of the past. The first stop on a tour of the “museum” includes a large self-portrait of Professor Baier painted

by Jacob A. Stein, a noted Washington trial attorney who shared the stage with him in the Library of Congress production of Father Chief Justice. A walk through the west wing of his suite reveals pictures of Professor Baier standing with the likes of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor and Justice Antonin Scalia.

In fact, Justice Scalia enjoys preferred seating, complete with a plush leather chair and a nameplate engraved “RESERVED FOR JUSTICE SCALIA” just in case he decides to pop by for a visit.

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A variety of keepsakes adorn

the walls but the clear focal point of the museum lies in the history of Justice White.

While serving on the board of the E.D. White Home, Professor Baier hatched the idea to write a play about the Chief Justice in an effort to bring more awareness to his legacy. Pointing to a portrait of White aligned next to a sketch of his house in Thibodeaux, Professor Baier speaks about the accomplishments of the esteemed Louisiana native with great reverence. In the corner of the window sits a vase of dried red roses.

Justice White picked a red rose for his wife every day on his walk home from the Supreme Court with his colleague and close friend, Justice Holmes. Although the pair fought on opposite sides during the Civil War, they later developed a strong bond while serving on the bench together. Professor Baier depicted their poetic friendship in several acts of Father Chief Justice.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

productions of Father Chief Justice and symbolize the successful run of the play, which has been produced for 15 years and counting. Professor Baier was kind enough to offer a gifted oration of Act Five while fulfilling his tour guide duties.

When asked about two framed pictures of Justice Black and Justice Frankfurter, Professor Baier scoffs at the fact that he scavenged them out of the basement of PMH where they sat unseen, collecting dust. A historical preservationist at heart, Professor Baier reads the inscription of Justice Black aloud which is addressed to the “future generations of LSU Law School.”

“He wrote that for you!” he proclaims. Entering the museum feels reminiscent to traveling back in time, acting as fervent reminder of the importance of memorializing those who came before us. Professor Baier stresses that his doors are always open and invites all students to stop by and explore. So, if you ever find yourself with free time between classes, take a trip to room 422 to discover the wonders of the museum and meet the living legend that is, Professor Baier.

The Civilian Staff

DATES TO REMEMBER: October 8-9: Reading Days October 15: Last Day to Defer an Exam

Editorial Board Editor-in-Chief: Mallory Richard

Managing Editor: Genevieve Leslie Production Editor: Alaina Richard Chief Copy/News Editor: Jordan Gasperecz-McMills Staff Writers Annie Beckstrom Robert Glueck Jacob Longman Halee Snellgrove Maturin Alaina Richard Bill Schulz

October 19-20: Scheduling for Spring Semester

Elizabeth Wong Columnists Dr. Love The Fashion Police The Hitchcock Blonde Cody Grosshart Angelina Valuri

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Megan Wiggins

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

Ninety-four. That is the number that is foremost on the minds of the staff of the LSU Law Center’s Office of Career Services.

Ninety-four refers to the percentage of the Class of 2014 that were employed in fulltime jobs either requiring or giving special preference to holders of the Juris Doctor Bill Schulz degree within ten months of graduation. In Staff Writer today’s post-Great Recession job market, this figure beggars belief, what with the Bureau of Labor Statistics reporting that as of August, 2015, 16.3 million Americans were either unemployed or underemployed. This performance has been consistent over the last several years, with only two or three point difference from year to year.

To say that this figure is largely the result of the work of the Career Services staff seems an enormous understatement.

From the writer’s own experience, however, the workings of the Office of Career Services are sometimes hard to grasp, as are the plethora of badly underutilized services that they offer to every Law Center student.

In order to introduce the full range of capabilities that Career Services offers, it is important to note the diverse backgrounds of its staff. Director of Career Services Erin Phifer is an attorney with a strong background in tax law practice (with an LLM in tax law from Georgetown University), legal recruiting, and career development. This is her fifth year with Career Services, and her emphasis is on teaching law students how to become lawyers through the career development process. Associate Director Gwen Ferrell came to Career Services from the fields of counseling and education, and has specialized over her sixteen years at Career Services in helping students interested in non-traditional legal careers, particularly government and public service positions.

Assistant Director Melanie Anderson has been with Career Services for almost a decade, having previously worked in business and management. She is chiefly responsible for the On-Campus Interview program, a constantly evolving system of connecting employers with law students in a convenient, hi-

tech format; it is worthwhile to point out that only a few years ago, OCI’s were handled by dropping resumes in boxes that employers checked when they had positions open, a system that all involved would agree seemed more an early Twentieth rather than early Twenty-first century practice. Coordinator of Career Services, Tonya Aubrey, the newest member of the Career Services team, has been at the Law Center for a little over a year, having previously worked in healthcare. In addition to assisting students with interviews and scheduling, she works with other staff members on the OCI program, and with coordinating employer visits.

One of the biggest misperceptions about Career Services’ programs is the nature and purpose of OCI’s. They are not the sole, nor even the chief method of securing a legal job.

Rather, the OCI program is focused on securing clerkships for rising second and third year students, with a few large firms also utilizing OCI’s for hiring new associates from the ranks of current third year students. Many OCI employers have strict hiring guidelines, often accepting resumes only from the top ten or twenty percent of a given class, leading to a misunderstanding amongst students that the other eighty percent of the class are simply on their own. In fact, the biggest source of job offers is not OCI, but Symplicity, the often overlooked job bank that employers post new openings to every day. Many, though by no means all, of these positions are brought to the attention of all current students via weekly e-mails from Career Services. It is worth noting that many laws firms and local government agencies do not even participate in he OCI program, but DO use Symplicity.

The project of finding employment as a lawyer is a three year task that should not be put off until the final year of law school. The Office of Career Services is available from 8 AM until 4:30 PM Monday through Friday during the regular semester and over most holidays. In addition to offering mock interviews, video conferencing with remote employers is also available, and the staff will happily speak to student groups.

Help finding a job is available, start now!

1 From the LSU Law Center’s Career Services website, available at https://www.law.lsu.edu/careerservices/employmentstatistics/ (accessed September 18, 2015). These figures are reported to the American Bar Association for review and audit to ensure accuracy.

2 August, 2015 is the latest full month available for statistical analysis. See the BLS’ website for the relevant breakdown of these figures: http://www.bls. gov/news.release/empsit.nr0.htm (accessed September 18, 2015).

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Last month, the Fashion Police were extremely curious to see who started off the school year with their fashion game on point. The Fashion Police gave you free fashion reign and challenged everyone at PMH to submit their best back to school look to The Civilian’s Facebook page in exchange for the chance to win a $30 gift card to the Mall of Louisiana. This month’s winning “Who Wore it Best” entry was submitted by 3L Kendale Thompson!

Congratulations, Kendale! YOU wore it best! From your cognac oxford shoes to your printed button down shirt, you pulled off your back to school look fLAWlessly!

(The only thing that could have made your photo better was if you were reading the latest issue of The Civilian… maybe next time.)

This month, the Fashion Police are taking measures

into their own hands. We will be taking a proactive “fashion-paparazzi” approach in order to capture the best fashionable ensembles at the annual 3L Hats n’ Canes cocktail celebration on October 23rd at Boudreaux’s and the October 24th Hats n’ Canes tailgate/champagne toast.

The Fashion Police are expecting all attendes to come dressed to impress in their best purple and gold threads!

Wait a minute…you’re not a 3L and you don’t want to be left out of having the chance to win a $30 gift card to the Mall of Louisiana? Don’t worry! Since LSU’s football season is in mid-swing, the Fashion Police want to see how you are able to incorporate purple and gold into your professional attire. Are you usually stuck working at your law externship or legal job on the Friday before game day? We want to know how you show your school spirit in a professional manner. Don’t be afraid to get creative!

Although we had several fLAWless looks submitted last month, let’s see some more! Let your fashionable side shine, and maybe YOU will be the next FLAWless Fashion $30 Mall of Louisiana gift card winner!

To make things fair, only one entry per student per month will be allowed. As always, the Fashion Police would like to remind you that the one thing that never goes out of style is self-confidence. Good luck!

How will you d ress to impress for Hats N’ Canes ?

OCTOBER 23 - 24 9

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

This issue of the Civilian is all about introducing the 1Ls to PMH life: the opportunities and the disappointments, the ups and the downs, the good and the ugly - and Alaina Richard of course, the people you’ll encounter along the way. Here are a few slightly hyberbolic examples of some of the law school stereotypes that walk the halls of PMH. Enjoy!

Meet “Bleeding Heart Barbie!” She is your go-to source for all things refugee-oriented/[insert current world crisis]. You’ll often find her working a bake sale raising funds for the legal representation of the homeless, OR in one of Prof. Scott Sullivan’s international law courses. She comes with a “Bernie Sanders” pin, a “Save the Whales” poster and a Women’s Human Rights Law course book. Be sure to ask her what meeting she’ll be hosting at 12:40 - THERE WILL BE PIZZA.

Meet “Frat Pack Ken!” If he hasn’t told you already, just know - his daddy is an attorney, which might explain his tricked-out ride and fervent support for “the Donald.”

“Frat Pack Ken” is almost never sold separately. You’ll recieve four almost identical “Frat Pack Kens” for the price of one. He can often be spotted by the keg at the law center tailgate sporting Costa sunglasses and boat shoes. Don’t forget - he’s got solid gold connections.

Befriend him, and you’ll land yourself a swanky job for the summer.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

Meet “Obnoxious Advocate Barbie!” You may have already encountered her when she smacked you on the back of your head with her oversized demonstrative as she sashayed into the courtroom.

She’s got the DA on speed dial - though she’s never met him. “Obnoxious Advocate Barbie” is never prepared for class - she’s been too busy preparing for fake trial. She spends most class periods perusing the web for her next killer court outfit - everyone knows the secret to winning a case is having the right accessories. But don’t underestimate her - she has a quick tongue and no mercy.

Meet “Gunner Ken!” Chances are, “Gunner Ken” has already revealed himself. You probably identified him when his arm shot up so fast he nearly ripped it out of socket - which is unfornuate given he’s carrying all of his textbooks and the corresponding E&E’s to every class. “Gunner Ken” read all his course books cover-to-cover over the summer and he’s not afraid to let you know it. You’ll find him shutting down the library at 11 PM, or in the professor’s office directly after class. You can count on “Gunner Ken” to volunteer on the days when no one else has read the assignment and for that, we are grateful.

Meet “Hot Mess GIF Barbie!” You met her at the GIF she doesn’t remember it, but you’ll never forget. When she’s not throwing back cranberry vodkas at Bogie’s, you might find her drunkenly cheering at the Barrister’s Bowl. Pay close attention to the half time dance - she’s definitely 4 beats behind everyone else. She comes with a cracked iPhone and a hangover. “Hot Mess GIF Barbie” may be a handful, but you owe it to yourself to tag along for one of her adventures before you graduate - you won’t regret it.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

Meet “Mental Breakdown Barbie!” She LITERALLY CANNOT ANYMORE. You’ll find her frazzled in the library - but she won’t stay there long. She’ll retreat to the comfort of a pile of cats, where she can nom on Little Caesar’s and binge-watch Netflix in peace. Her school work and her garbage is piling up and getting a bit out of hand, but there’s a new season of “Orange is the New Black” on Netflix so... it can wait. (At some point in law school, we are ALL “Mental Breakdown Barbie.”)

Meet “Law Review Barbie!” Has she told you how stressed she is about her law review abstract? Because she totally is, and she needs you to hear about it. “Law Review Barbie” comes with two stacks of outlines (the impeccable ones she keeps for herself and the slightly less impressive outlines to share) as well as adderall. You can find her at her very own carrel in the library or at one of the very exclusive law review parties - oh yeah, you weren’t invited. “Law Review Barbie” might get on your last nerve now, but one day you’ll be proud to say you graduated with her.

Meet “Do You Even Go Here? Ken!” He believes the “9 Absence Rule” is more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule. Don’t expect to see him in the first several weeks of school because he’s busy max-ing out his absences. “Do You Even Go Here? Ken” is a bit of a mystery package - no one knows what accessories he comes with but we do envy his ability to fly under the radar.

Got more “Barbie and Ken” suggestions? Tell us about it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/LSULawCivilian or comment on this article on our website at www.thecivilian.org.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

Megan Wiggins Columnist

Happy Fall, everyone! This is my favorite time of the semester, and it is not just because pumpkin-flavored everything is making its appearance in stores. We have all gotten into a routine; football season is in its prime, and finals are still far enough away where we can have an active social calendar and not feel guilty.

Here’s a few of the many fall-themed events happening throughout the Red Stick that I think you’ll enjoy:

The 13th Gate Haunted House and Necropolis 13, located at 832 Saint Phillip Street, officially opened to scare the daylights out of you on September 25th. Both attractions feature haunts from 6:30-11:30 pm on the following dates: October 1-3, 8-10, 15-17, 22-24. This haunted house is one of the toprated in Don’t forget Brew-at-the-Zoo at the Baton Rouge Zoo on October 2nd from 6:0010:00pm. Enjoy this beer sampling and food tasting featuring live music at a “wild” venue!

To purchase tickets in advance, visit www. brzoobrew.org If you can’t make it to Brew-at-the-Zoo, you’re in luck! The Capital City Beer Fest is October 10th from 1:00-5:00pm at the North Boulevard Town Square Downtown.

Patrons receive a free sampling mug and can purchase different craft beer samples and gourmet food. This is a pet-friendly event, so bring your pups out on the leash to enjoy the beautiful weather and live music. This would be a great way to kick off Fall Break aka Reading Days.

Go enjoy a day in prison that won’t show up on your permanent record! The Angola Prison Rodeo is at the LA State Penitentiary on October 4, 11, 18, and 25th. Gates are 13

open from 9:00-5:00pm but the show starts at 2:00pm.

Bag of Donuts is one of my favorite cover bands, comparable to the Chee Weez or the Molly Ringwalds. Bag of Donuts is playing at Live After Five from 5:00-8:00pm on the North Boulevard Town Square Downtown on October 16th. The music is free, but alcohol and food trucks are also available for you to enjoy.

Also on October 16th is the Rusted Root and Dirty Dozen Brass Band at the Varsity Theater at 8:00pm. For more brass band listening pleasure, the Rebirth Brass Band (my fav!) plays on Halloween at the Varsity at 8:00pm.

Don’t mock me, but a romantic and unique date night idea would be Romeo & Juliet at the Manship Theatre on October 23rd from 7:00-10:00pm. The Manship is located at 100 Lafayette Street, Baton Rouge. This is one of history’s most famous love stories, and it would be a nice change of pace from your typical “Netflix and Chill” evenings.

A few of my friends have gone to Trivia night at Mellow Mushroom and said it was a hoot.

This event is every Wednesday night at 8pm and there are free drinks in the 20 oz Mellow Mushroom Geaux Cups.

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE

Cody Grosshart Columnist

Call me Ahab, as I go crazy searching for my own white whale – that last open parking spot. Despite the fact that I have withstood this scourge many times before, the stress produced by the search has never waned. Every day I fight this battle, and every day I see the same obstacles stand in my way.

are parked in an incredibly questionable manner, and of course, there is also at least one huge truck that greatly reduces the already limited space in the area. At this point, I can’t help but find myself slamming my fists on my steering wheel and cursing the existence of all the people.

At this point, I am forced to make a loop around the building to approach the parking lot from a different angle. I begin to question just how necessary it is to go to class today. I start to question if there even is a free space at all. Maybe there really is no end to this search. My anger has grown into pure stubbornness, and I will stop at nothing to find that coveted space. However, the amount of time it has taken to reach this point of being dead in the water on Highland road with class quickly approaching has forced me to take anything available.

The journey begins from home, but it does not take a toll on my soul until I reach the small high school outside of the parking lot. As I approach the high school, the pace of the journey comes to a complete stop.

The cars in front, behind, and around me move as slow as ice sheets in the Arctic Sea. What is the result of this stalemate? It will take twice as long to go this last halfmile as it took me to go triple that distance. Every second of this crawl shaves away another sliver of my patience. Finally, I am able to find just enough space on the side of the parking lot on Dalrymple to lay anchor. Just in the nick After finally making it through the maze of minivans and of time, I am able to travel through all levels of possible crossing guards, I am finally able to approach the parking anger. I have imagined too many different ways to deface lot; however, the search is far from over. As I turn into the an automobile. I have started my day in a horrible way. main entrance of the parking lot, I come to see that the As I tromp through the parking lot mumbling to myself hindrance of the nearby high school is not left to the cross like the old man down the street, I come to realize that walk alone. In fact, as I slowly snail through the parking there may be no true solution to this problem. In this sly lot, I see that half of the automobiles that are occupying moment of clarity, I am torn as to whether that lack of spaces are without a purple parking tag. As young children control should provide me with relief or just add more escape from these vehicles and dart across the street to fuel to the fire. Alas it is a battle that we must all bear – a their homeroom classes, I began to grow irate…mostly burden that I cannot spare. from the irony that despite the fact that these parents are so set to get their children to class on time they never mind keeping law students from doing the same.

After passing the first wave of inconsideration, I approach the next complication – the left-behind vehicles of undergraduate students. This problem spans from the fraternities across the street to the individual students who believe that they have beat the system. At this point, my anger grows to an unimaginable level. Not having access to a tow-truck leaves me with the only option of blowing that hot air into my sails and continuing my search.

I come to the narrow pass of the semi-circle that borders the west side of the building. It is here that it never fails that I come to see some of the worst parking attempts in the entire lot. Some cars are flush together, some cars 14

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

Q: Dr. Love, can you give the first years some for people who are looking for a quick fling. If tips on tailgate etiquette? your goal is to find a date that you won’t feel Sincerely, 1L of a Good Time bad ignoring text messages from the day after, sounds like Tinder is right for you. If, however, A: Dear 1L, you’re looking for a higher level of commitment, Ah, the legendary Law School Tailgate it might be time to evaluate other avenues. (hereinafter LST). A heady mix of good food, That’s not to say that I haven’t seen committed good friends, and enough alcohol to spawn relationships germinated from chance “right weekend-long hangovers for everyone. My swipes”, but they’re definitely the minority. personal mantra when I attend tailgates is First and foremost, as with any random dating “don’t be that person”. What do I mean by site, safety should be your number one concern. that? Exactly what it sounds like. Planning on Let a friend know where you’re going to be, getting famously drunk and falling in a trash who you’re going to be with, and when you get can at the LST? Don’t be that person. Planning home. And have fun! on engaging your newfound liquid courage in hitting on a really hot 3L? Don’t be that person.

The LST is fun, but a lot of people forget that Q: Dear Dr. Love, the party doesn’t stop after the pre-game, and My friend/classmate and I have been dating there’s nothing more miserable than a hangover on and off for a few years, and now that we’ve hitting you in Death Valley (don’t worry, we’ve both expressed that we’re ready to try again, my all been there). Go to tailgates to hang out with friend is getting cold feet—what should I do? classmates and professors in a fun, informal Sincerely, Warm Socks Needed setting and save the raucous partying for the GIFs. As with everything you do, conduct A: Warm Socks, yourself in a way that you wouldn’t mind future Sounds like your friend isn’t really ready to try employers hearing about. again…or maybe you’re both too busy for a committed relationship. Either way, it sounds like you’ve lost that loving feeling. If you Q: Dr. Love, I’m debating getting a Tinder— haven’t yet, now might be a good time to sit what are the pros and cons? down with your friend and figure out where he/ Sincerely, “Tinding” to My Love Life she stands. Relationships with classmates are tricky because you’ll always have law school A: I’ve seen Tinder dates go really, really well, as that awkward third wheel. It can definitely and I’ve seen Tinder dates go really, really work, and it’s worth a shot, but if your friend badly. The general consensus on the app seems isn’t ready to give a relationship his/her all, to be that its no-strings attached fun and great don’t force it.

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Black Mass Written and Directed by Scott Cooper

Intoxicating to Watch?

Where to Watch: Now Playing in Theaters (See the Fandango App for Movie times and tickets!)

What to Drink: Jameson Irish Whiskey or A Cold Pint of Guinness Take it from me on this on this one... you might want to go into this film with a little buzz. Stop by Kona Grill during their Happy Hour or one of the other fine establishments in Perkins Rowe. From the chilling murders to that one truly, unsettling moment with Agent Connolly’s wife, you’ll need a little liquid courage to stomach some of Bulger’s heinous but true atrocities.

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Call it what you may, but this will be Johnny Depp’s comeback film. While the actor has most notably struggled recently with the media and his personal life woes, his professional life also has been lacking some “deppth” on the silver screen.

With the latest failures of Mortdecai and The Lone Ranger and a depressingly publicized breakup, remarriage, and dog controversy (see Google for details), I’ve been wondering what my always-in-the-top-five-actor has been doing with his life. Tsk tsk, Johnny, poor choices….until I saw Black Mass this weekend.

Cooper’s grim adaption of the novel of the same name is a crisp, sharp, and deadly depiction of the notorious Boston crime lord and leader of the Winter Hill Gang, James “Whitey” Bulger. Besides having Depp, the film boasts a star-studded cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, Peter Skarsgaard, Dakota Johnson, and Corey Stoll just to name a few. Depp, of course, stars as Bulger, and man, does he shine. A single dart of his pale, clear eyes will send shivers down your spine; you will know when someone is about to die. The sheer number of deaths at the beck-and-call of one man will amaze even the most casehardened criminal law experts out there. Even with the corruption, scandal, and downright insanity packed into every scene, the beauty of Depp’s performance shows the ever-faint glimmer of the human that still lingers in the monster that is Bulger. So 1L’s, put down those outlines, get in your car, and shuck out the $8 or so for a ticket. Consider it the beginning of your criminal law 4-3-2-1. It’s worth every penny.

Angelina Valuri, Columnist

T

Prof. Jeffrey Brooks, Columnist

here is no denying the fact we both have a soft spot in our hearts for an easy, breezy, and delicious Sunday brunch.

The beautiful fall weather this month here in Baton Rouge encouraged us to go exploring for a new restaurant. Surprisingly enough, we didn’t have to travel far! It’s a good thing we were paying attention because if we blinked too long, we would have driven right by Table Kitchen & Bar located in the Southdowns Shopping Center. (4205 Perkins Rd. 225-239-7799) Table Kitchen & Bar is a locally-owned restaurant that takes a farm-to-table culinary approach in an upscale, yet casual environment. The restaurant provides a unique and creative collaboration of food products that showcase regional offerings and seasonal local resources. Not only are local produce and meat delivered to the restaurant every week, but each item is personally selected by the executive chef, Curtis Froelich. It also has a full bar with eclectic wine and handcrafted cocktails. Patio seating is available, weather permitting.

As a reminder, every month Professor Brooks and I, along with a rotating “mystery diner” guest will order three separate lunch/brunch dishes from restaurants that are not only affordable, but are also a little bit off the beaten path.

All restaurants will receive an overall rating between 1-5 gavels, with 1 gavel rating being “poor” and a 5 gavels rating being “excellent.”

If you have a lunch or brunch location you would like to see reviewed, please feel free to e-mail your suggestions to avalur1@lsu.edu or jeffbrooks@lsu.edu.

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LUNCHIN’

&BRUNCHIN’ Review from Angelina Valuri As soon as I stepped into Table Kitchen & Bar, I immediately knew I was in the right place for a chic and modern brunch. We were welcomed warmly by a friendly hostess and right off the bat, this place was speaking my brunch “love language.”

The aesthetic of the restaurant has a contemporary flair, and at noon, it wasn’t overly crowded. Plenty of seating was available, and we all agreed on a table that allowed us to enjoy the natural light flowing inside from the autumn sun. I intrinsically knew the cuisine was going to be innovative and classic. As I scoped out my surroundings some more, I decided the vibe was laid-back, but let’s just say I was happy that I was having a quasi-good hair day.

A quick glance of the drink menu led me to order a New Orleans brunch classic, a Brandy Milk Punch ($8). Like most sugary drinks, the taste of alcohol (in this case, brandy) was cleverly masked by the overall sweetness of the drink. The combination of brandy, milk, sugar, and nutmeg was chilled over ice, and I was pleased with not only the taste, but also the size of my cocktail. Additionally, I learned from our talkative waitress that all of the lemon, lime, and sour mixes used in Table’s cocktails are mixed and squeezed in-house, on a daily basis. What a nice touch!

Several items on the “Scraps” (Table speak for appetizers) portion of Table’s menu jumped out at us, and we finally narrowed it down to three selections. Because I MUST order deviled eggs every time I see them on a menu, I was the first to “lay down the gavel” when it came time to order. I promptly ordered the Deviled Eggs ($7) to start, with Professor Brooks and our “Mystery Diner” choosing the Monkey Bread ($7) and the Table Better Cheddar ($8). Our waitress reassured us we had all made great choices.

Our first course came out promptly. I couldn’t help but notice our waitress’s initial pleasant attitude had morphed into straight up enthusiasm as she set our selections down in front of us! It always makes me smile when I see people who enjoy their job, and I couldn’t wait to try everything. The table favorite BY FAR was the Table Better Cheddar. Although the dish was nothing more than marinated extra

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015 sharp Tillamook Cheddar spread with a selection of crispy table crackers, it was addictive.

If you are a fan of pimento cheese, this is a dish you must try. The cheese was rich and the crackers served as a satisfying vessel to get the cheese spread from Point A (the plate) to Point B (your mouth).

The flight of deviled eggs were somewhat disappointing to me. Although the smoked paprika and table bacon were tasty accoutrements to the eggs, I did not care for the sweet pickle relish, which in my opinion, took away from the savory taste. I also thought the dish lacked salt.

Our table’s unanimous least favorite item was the Monkey Bread. It was dry, overly sweet and, quite frankly, tasted like Bisquick. Although the presentation of the dish in a little iron skillet was cute, attempting to eat it caused me to completely empty my water glass. I will not “monkey” around and order this dish the next time around. (See what I did there?)

Any minor disappointment I had with our first course was overshadowed by my entrée choice, the Creole Tomato and Squash Frittata ($14). Similar to the Monkey Bread, it too was served in a cast iron skillet, and it consisted of a wonderful combination of eggs, creole tomatoes, squash, farmhouse cheddar, fresh arugula, and purple rice purloo. Yes, you read that correctly, I said purple rice purloo. Trust me, I didn’t know what it was either before I tasted it, but let’s just say it made the entire dish. All of the ingredients tasted extremely fresh (Hello…farm-to-table!) and were seasoned to perfection. The frittata came with a homemade English muffin with homemade butter/fruit preserves on the side. Let’s just say I destroyed the entire thing, and before anyone at the table could ask for a bite, I was sitting there staring at an empty plate. #Sorrynotsorry.

Overall, the ambiance at Table was hip, the experience was fun, delicious, unexpected, and the service was second to none. The prices were not cheap, but they weren’t ridiculous either. I can’t wait to pull up a chair at Table the next time I have friends in town for the weekend or I just want to kick back and 3LOL, which will probably be every weekend from now through May 2016.

Verdict: 4 Gavels!

Review from Professor Jeff Brooks Table Kitchen & Bar has a welcoming, friendly air to it, which is only enhanced by its rustic, farmer’s kitchen aesthetic. We chose to sit indoors, although the restaurant boasts an inviting covered outdoor patio seating area. We arrived a little after noon, and were immediately greeted and seated. The restaurant was by no means full, and we had our choice of tables. Once seated, our friendly, and extraordinarily knowledgeable server walked us through Table’s food ethos (local and seasonal) and made a few menu recommendations.

She also was very prompt with the delivery of our beverages; my vodka gimlet ($8) was perfectly mixed and a cool, refreshing way to get over the summer heat. Table’s menu is diverse and impressive; a really tempting mix of Louisiana standards and brunch classics. We quickly settled upon three appetizers (in service to our readers); a deliciously creamy and tangy spreadable cheddar cheese with perfectly salty table crackers ($8 and a unanimous favorite), a flight of deviled eggs ($7), made with pickle and topped with crumbled bacon and smoked paprika, and “monkey bread”. The “monkey bread” ($7) was a bit of a misnomer, as we three all expected a gooey, caramel mess of bread and roasted nuts, while Table’s (still tasty, if a bit dry) version was more like a set of small biscuits cooked in a skillet and topped with caramel.

For my entrée, I settled upon Buckwheat Pancakes ($14) – brunch to me is all about the carbs. Closer to crepes, the two perfectly fluffy pancakes I was served were massive.

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015 Accompanied by apricot preserves, wild blueberries, cane syrup, and clotted cream, I got to customize every single bite I took, and every bite was excellent. My only complaint (and it is a truly minor complaint) is that the pancakes came with one rather lonely piece of (delicious) sausage. We as a table realized, a bit belatedly, that brunch is nothing without coffee, and again Table did not disappoint. Rather than kitchen-brewed coffee, Table provides guests with their own French press, so that you can choose how long to steep your coffee and how strong you want it to be. Our server was that rare balance of helpful, pleasant, and attentive when needed, and we never lacked for a single thing. I have never so thoroughly enjoyed a brunching experience in Baton Rouge.

Verdict: 5 Gavels!

Review from our monthly “Mystery Diner” Table seems to revolve around the bacon. From our deviled eggs for the appetizer to my classic Eggs Benedict ($20), the bacon at Table seriously pulled all of the flavors together and gave each dish the perfect dash of salt. Though the monkey bread (which was bacon-less) was less sweet than I am used to, the dough had enough flavor on its own to make up for its lack of sweetness, which allowed me to eat more of it without being overpowered by richness. I know I keep going back to the bacon, but it perfectly balanced the yolks of the poached eggs in my Benedict without overpowering the accompanying (and quite decadently rich) herbed-hollandaise sauce. The bacon also helped me forget, as I sopped up every last bit of that sauce, that hollandaise sauce is not, in fact, a healthy alternative to water.

My cocktail (French 75, $8) was good, too. Even though it didn’t have bacon in it.

Verdict: 4.5 Gavels!

Table Kitchen & Bar Southdowns Shopping Center 4205 Perkins Rd., Baton Rouge, LA 19

THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

AT s e v i L t e r c Se PMH

JOBY RICHARD

Q: What are you most excited for regarding your 2L year?

A: 2L year is having choice in my course load and having vested interested in classes that I take.

Q: What kind of extra-curriculars are you involved in?

A: I want to get involved in the Mental Health Organization. I really think that’s a good organization for law students, especially dealing with the stress of classes and balancing a life with it. Also, I want to join the Environmental or the Energy Society because I’m really interested in pursuing that certificate and maybe a media law organization.

Q: How do you plan on juggling all those extra-curriculars and classes?

A: It just takes prior planning. It’s the key to everything.

You make sure you do everything ahead of schedule or at least have some sort of blocked out schedule and I think you’re going to succeed at whatever you put your mind to.

Q: What would you say your favorite place to go is, like on the weekends with friends, etc.?

A: I love going to different restaurants. I’m sort of a “foodie” and so I love to go out and eat with friends to sort of de-stress and unwind. I’m at the gym a lot and you’ll catch me sometimes at the movies when I just can’t stand to look at another book.

Q: What kind of movies do you enjoy watching?

A: It’s kind of cheesy but I am a rom-com fanatic. I like Disney movies. I love fantasy. I like any movie that let’s you escape from reality for a couple hours.

Q: I know you’re a television person. What are you most looking forward to that is coming up on TV? A: Well, I not only have a schedule for classes, I have 20

a television schedule for primetime as well. I do like watching things live and in the moment. There are all kinds of new shows: Scream Queens, American Horror Story: Hotel,, and Dancing with the Stars. So, I have pretty much a week-long lineup.

Q: If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be? Why? A: I would love to sit down with Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Because Sandra Day O’Connor was a woman who broke through the glass ceiling and kind of climbed to the top of our game. What I want to know is what that struggle was like and I want to know how she made it through the bad times. She was a moderate on the court and that’s how I try be. I try to be as moderate as I can.

Q: What are you planning on doing after law school?

A: After law school, I’d like to get my master’s degree.

I’m doing the dual program to get a master’s degree in Mass Communications. I’d also like to get into political journalism, even if it’s writing and then working my way up to getting behind a television screen.

Q: What made you decide to go to law school to begin with?

A: I knew I needed an angle. I needed a competitive edge and I know that law school is something that a lot of journalists don’t have. It would give me a better understanding on topics that I would be talking to the public about and I could give them more educated, balanced stories.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

A: Hopefully, established in a career. I hope to earn my reputation and become a prominent figure in journalism.

Q: Where would you like to be a journalist?

A: I’d like to start in Louisiana because I was born here.

I would be willing to travel but I’ll stay in Louisiana as long as I can.

Q: What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses in regards to law school?

A: My greatest strength is I am a scheduler and organized.

Together, those are the perfect combination for getting what you need to get done. My greatest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist so I’m my own worst critic. I will make problems magnified in my own head and in reality, they really aren’t that big. It’s a constant struggle for me to maintain perspective and learn to pick my battles.

LET’S GET SOCIAL

Elizabeth Wong Staff Writer

Follow The Civilian on Facebook and Twitter and check out our newly refreshed website at: thecivilian.org

Powderpuff FOOTBALL GAME

OCT. 2ND

Good Luck, Class of 2018!

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THE CIVILIAN | SEPTEMBER 2015

GUNNER BINGO

Courtesy of Kathryn Jakuback

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