UI Complete Manual by The Coaching Institute

COMPLETE MANUAL

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CONTENTS Your Success ............................................................................................................... 15 Step 1: Connect................................................................................................................................... 15 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 15 Process: ................................................................................................................ 15 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 16 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 17 Step 2: Build ......................................................................................................................................... 17 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 17 Process: ................................................................................................................ 17 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 18 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 19 Step 3: Flip ............................................................................................................................................ 19 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 19 Process: ................................................................................................................ 19 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 20 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 21 Step 4: Match ....................................................................................................................................... 21 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 21 Process: ................................................................................................................ 21 Clarity .................................................................................................................. 21 Chunk up.............................................................................................................. 22 Conviction ........................................................................................................... 22 Confirmation ....................................................................................................... 23 Consistency ......................................................................................................... 23 Conflict................................................................................................................. 24 Compliment ........................................................................................................ 24 Conquer ............................................................................................................... 25

Checking in .......................................................................................................... 25 Close (test) .......................................................................................................... 26 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 28 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 29 Step 5: Recommend ........................................................................................................................... 29 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 29 Process: ................................................................................................................ 29 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 30 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 31 Step 6: Backtrack ................................................................................................................................ 31 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 31 Process: ................................................................................................................ 31 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 32 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 33 Step 7:

Close.................................................................................................................................. 33

Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 33 Process: ................................................................................................................ 33 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 35 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 36 Step 8: Future Pace............................................................................................................................. 36 Purpose: ............................................................................................................... 36 Process: ................................................................................................................ 36 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 37 Your Success ............................................................................................................... 38 Nothing Defeats the Passionate Mind ...................................................................... 40 Inspire Yourself ........................................................................................................... 41 Certainty and Warmth .............................................................................................. 42 Education and Curiosity ............................................................................................. 43 Handle Rejection Like a Warrior.............................................................................. 44

Social Ability Equals Income ..................................................................................... 45 Does it Need to be Said? ............................................................................................ 46 Lead the Way .............................................................................................................. 47 Do What Works ......................................................................................................... 48 Shocking Truth Revealed ........................................................................................... 48 Turn Up to the Call Like it’s a First Date ............................................................... 49 Above and Below the Line ......................................................................................... 50 Focus Equals Reality ................................................................................................... 51 100% Responsibility ..................................................................................................... 53 Help Enough People Have Their Dreams Come True… ....................................... 54 What Science Says About Our Thoughts ................................................................ 55 Beliefs for Success ...................................................................................................... 57 Urgency is Needed Right Now .................................................................................. 58 Great Decisions, Great Results ................................................................................. 59 Criteria .................................................................................................................................................. 60 Develop a Wealth Mindset ........................................................................................ 62 Begin With the End in Mind ...................................................................................... 64 Create a Million Dollar Sales Presentation ............................................................. 65 Your Personal Vision Statement .............................................................................. 68 Sample vision........................................................................................................................................ 69 Goal Setting in Sales................................................................................................... 70 Why Goal Setting DOESN’T Always Work ............................................................ 71 Emotions we want .............................................................................................................................. 74 Now IS the Best Time ................................................................................................ 75 Goals Know No Borders ............................................................................................ 77 1954: Bannister breaks four-minute mile (ABC Headlines) ...................................................... 78 It All Starts with a Dream ................................................................................................................. 80 Act on It ................................................................................................................................................ 82 Conditioning the Mind ....................................................................................................................... 85

Goals that Care ................................................................................................................................... 87 Passion Drives the Goal .................................................................................................................... 88 Goal Achievers ............................................................................................................ 90 Final Thoughts ............................................................................................................ 94 Notes ............................................................................................................................ 95 Making the First Impression ...................................................................................... 96 Matching, Mirroring and Pacing ................................................................................ 97 Calibration ............................................................................................................................................ 97 Matching ................................................................................................................................................ 98 Mirroring............................................................................................................................................... 98 Pacing ..................................................................................................................................................... 98 Leading .................................................................................................................................................. 99 Physiology ............................................................................................................................................. 99 body posture and movement ............................................................................ 99 Voice .................................................................................................................................................... 100 tone, speed of speech, other voice characteristics ....................................... 100 Language and Thinking Style ........................................................................................................... 100 choice of words ................................................................................................. 100 Beliefs and Values.............................................................................................................................. 100 what people hold true and important ............................................................ 100 Experience .......................................................................................................................................... 100 finding common ground ................................................................................... 100 Breathing ............................................................................................................................................. 101 Language .................................................................................................................... 102 Language Preferences....................................................................................................................... 103 Visual People ...................................................................................................................................... 104 Auditory People ................................................................................................................................ 105 Kinaesthetic People .......................................................................................................................... 106 Auditory Digital ................................................................................................................................. 107

Eye Patterns ....................................................................................................................................... 108 As you look at the person .............................................................................................................. 109 Wait for Their Positive Indicators ................................................................................................ 110 The Body Bob .................................................................................................................................... 110 Listening Skills........................................................................................................... 111 Effective Listening Skills ................................................................................................................... 112 The Benefits of ‘Getting Out of the Way’ .................................................................................. 113 How to Listen .................................................................................................................................... 114 Listen for patterns ............................................................................................................................ 114 Listen without judgement ............................................................................................................... 115 Listen without assumptions ............................................................................................................ 115 Command Tonality .................................................................................................. 116 Social Obligations ..................................................................................................... 117 Break States .............................................................................................................. 118 Collaborating with Your Buyer ............................................................................... 119 Notes .......................................................................................................................... 121 Model of the World .................................................................................................. 123 Understanding Models of the World ........................................................................................... 123 Creating the Space ................................................................................................... 128 The Law of Consistency ........................................................................................... 130 What People Are Afraid Of..................................................................................... 135 How to Manage this ......................................................................................................................... 135 Secret versus Admitted Desires ............................................................................. 137 Belonging ............................................................................................................................................. 138 Significance/they matter................................................................................................................... 138 They make a difference ................................................................................................................... 139 Cognitive Dissonance ............................................................................................... 140 What’s in it For Me .................................................................................................. 141 Sentences to use: .............................................................................................................................. 141

Pain versus Pleasure ................................................................................................. 142 Meta Dynamics ESIP ................................................................................................ 143 Environment – ................................................................................................................................... 143 Structure – ......................................................................................................................................... 143 Implementation – .............................................................................................................................. 144 People – .............................................................................................................................................. 144 The Six Core Needs ................................................................................................. 149 Here are some conclusions I’ve reached based on this useful framework. ........................ 150 Statements Based on the Six Core Needs .................................................................................. 152 Certainty ............................................................................................................ 152 Variety................................................................................................................ 152 Significance ........................................................................................................ 152 Connection ........................................................................................................ 152 Growth ............................................................................................................... 154 Contribution ...................................................................................................... 154 The Four R’s .............................................................................................................. 156 Reliance –............................................................................................................................................ 156 Rebellion – dysfunctional ................................................................................................................ 158 Rebellion – functional ...................................................................................................................... 159 Results ................................................................................................................................................. 160 Realisation........................................................................................................................................... 160 Language for the Four R’s ............................................................................................................... 162 DISC ........................................................................................................................... 163 Dominance ......................................................................................................................................... 164 Influence .............................................................................................................................................. 165 Steadiness ........................................................................................................................................... 166 Conscientious .................................................................................................................................... 167 Your job as a professional sales consultant is to be self-aware enough to – ...................... 168 Meta Programs ......................................................................................................... 170

1. Direction filter .............................................................................................................................. 170 2. Reason filter................................................................................................................................... 171 3. Frame of reference filter ............................................................................................................ 172 4. Convincer representational filter ............................................................................................. 172 5. Convincer demonstration filter ................................................................................................ 172 6. Management direction filter ....................................................................................................... 173 7. Action filter.................................................................................................................................... 173 8. Affiliation filter .............................................................................................................................. 174 9. The work preference filter ........................................................................................................ 174 10. Primary interest filter ................................................................................................................ 176 11. Chunk size filter ......................................................................................................................... 176 12. Relationship filter ....................................................................................................................... 176 13. Emotional stress response ....................................................................................................... 177 14. Time storage filter ..................................................................................................................... 177 15. Modal operator sequence ........................................................................................................ 178 People Are Mismatchers.......................................................................................... 179 The 3 Questions You Must Answer ........................................................................ 180 Why should I do this? ...................................................................................................................... 180 Why should I do this with you? ..................................................................................................... 180 Why should I do it now? ................................................................................................................. 181 Show Your Flaws ...................................................................................................... 182 Social Proof ............................................................................................................... 183 Reassurance Strategies ............................................................................................ 184 Notes .......................................................................................................................... 185 Permission Questions............................................................................................... 187 Softeners .................................................................................................................... 188 Risk Minimising Statements .................................................................................... 189 Pre frames and Open Loops .................................................................................... 191 Minimise Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s In It For Me Statements ............................................................ 192

Fading End Statements ............................................................................................ 194 The Power of the Afterthought .............................................................................. 195 Be Understated ......................................................................................................... 196 If I Say It, They Doubt Me;....................................................................................... 197 If They Say It, It’s True ............................................................................................ 197 Agreement Frames .................................................................................................. 198 Contrast Frames ....................................................................................................... 199 How Come? ............................................................................................................... 203 Embedded Commands............................................................................................. 204 Reflecting Back and Clarifying ................................................................................ 205 Normalising, Validating, Acknowledging ............................................................... 206 Exchanging Confidences .......................................................................................... 207 Make Them Work for It Questions ........................................................................ 208 It’s So Much More Than That… .............................................................................. 210 So Many People… ..................................................................................................... 212 Purpose Questions ................................................................................................... 213 The Three Best Words to Use ................................................................................ 215 Feel Felt Found ......................................................................................................... 216 Telling People What to Think ................................................................................. 217 Hierarchy of Ideas..................................................................................................... 220 The Structure of Intuition: .............................................................................................................. 220 The Structure of Overwhelm: Too Big Chunks ........................................................................ 221 The Structure of Nit-Picking: Chunking Down & Mismatching.............................................. 221 Details.................................................................................................................................................. 222 Big picture........................................................................................................................................... 223 Language for the Different Levels on the Hierarchy ................................................................ 230 Levels of Thinking ..................................................................................................... 231 Language in Levels of Thinking ....................................................................................................... 231 Hierarchy of Words .................................................................................................. 232

1. Modal operators ........................................................................................................................... 232 2. Nominalisations ............................................................................................................................ 233 Spatial Language ....................................................................................................... 235 Presuppositions ......................................................................................................... 237 Existence – ......................................................................................................................................... 238 Awareness –....................................................................................................................................... 238 Cause and Effect – ............................................................................................................................ 239 Complex Equivalence – ................................................................................................................... 240 Adjective/Adverb – ........................................................................................................................... 240 Possibility – ......................................................................................................................................... 241 Time/Tempural Predicates – .......................................................................................................... 241 Ordinal – ............................................................................................................................................. 243 Exclusive/Inclusive or –.................................................................................................................... 243 Milton Language ....................................................................................................... 244 Mind read: ........................................................................................................................................... 244 Lost performative: ............................................................................................................................ 245 Cause & effect: .................................................................................................................................. 245 Complex Equivalence: ...................................................................................................................... 246 Universal Quantifier: ........................................................................................................................ 246 Modal Operator: ............................................................................................................................... 247 Tag Question: .................................................................................................................................... 247 Comparative Deletion (Unspecified Comparison): ................................................................... 247 Pace Current Experience: ............................................................................................................... 248 Double bind:....................................................................................................................................... 248 Conversational Postulate: ............................................................................................................... 248 Utilisation: ........................................................................................................................................... 250 Putting it all together: ...................................................................................................................... 250 Getting to ‘Yes’ ......................................................................................................... 251 Sales Killing Words........................................................................................................................... 252

Overcoming Objections ........................................................................................... 253 Preframe the Objection................................................................................................................... 254 Ignore................................................................................................................................................... 257 Have Them Solve It .......................................................................................................................... 258 Blow Them Out and Reframe to Manageable Terms ............................................................... 260 Specific Objections ........................................................................................................................... 262 No experience: .................................................................................................. 262 Time ................................................................................................................... 262 Money ................................................................................................................. 263 Being enough ..................................................................................................... 263 P – F.B.E.A ................................................................................................................. 264 Notes .......................................................................................................................... 267 Metaphors .................................................................................................................. 268 Emotions .................................................................................................................... 270 Be Less Excited Than They Are .................................................................................................... 270 Emotional Rollercoaster .................................................................................................................. 270 The Hero’s Journey .................................................................................................. 273 Part 1:

Stuck in Ordinary World. ........................................................................................... 274

Part 2: The Call to Adventure. ...................................................................................................... 274 Part 3:

Refusal of the Call. ........................................................................................................ 274

Part 4: Meeting the Mentor. ........................................................................................................... 275 Part 5: Crossing the Threshold. .................................................................................................... 275 Part 6: Tests, Allies and Enemies. .................................................................................................. 275 Part 7: Approach. .............................................................................................................................. 275 Part 8: The Ordeal............................................................................................................................ 275 Part 9: The Reward. ......................................................................................................................... 275 Part 10: The Road Back. .................................................................................................................. 276 Part 11: The Resurrection. ............................................................................................................. 276 Part 12: Return with the Elixir. ...................................................................................................... 276

Ink Spots .................................................................................................................... 278 Me, You, We, One .................................................................................................... 279 Red Brain versus Green Brain ................................................................................. 280 Notes .......................................................................................................................... 282 The Sales Leader ...................................................................................................... 283 Lag and Lead Measures .................................................................................................................... 283 Something to Think About ............................................................................................................. 284 Training Tools ........................................................................................................... 285 This is what we say: .......................................................................................................................... 285 ENVIRONMENT .............................................................................................................................. 286 Our Values ......................................................................................................................................... 286 Our Manifesto ................................................................................................................................... 287 Notes for Success ............................................................................................................................. 288 You and The Coaching Institute. ................................................................................................... 289 Rules of the Game ............................................................................................................................ 290 The Consultative Sales Experience ............................................................................................... 291 The World Needs Super Heroes! ................................................................................................ 292 RIGHT NOW I AM A (Five) STAR!............................................................................................. 293 With Great Power, comes Great Responsibility.... ................................................................... 294 Five Star Consultant – How to Succeed ..................................................................................... 295 Mindset for Excellence – Be the Change YOU want to See! ................................................. 296 Your standards & strategies determine your results – ............................................................ 297 What we sell * go to Mission Control and ask for ................................................................... 298 Structure ................................................................................................................... 299 What are Your Standards?: ............................................................................................................ 299 The Benchmarks for Success ......................................................................................................... 300 Resources you Have Available ....................................................................................................... 301 Structure to Know .................................................................................................... 302 This is what we’re here to do: ............................................................................................... 302

There are guidelines we have which when applied, get the best results: ............................ 303 Templates for Your Success .................................................................................... 303 Setting Great Intentions .................................................................................................................. 304 90 Day Reviews ......................................................................................................... 310 Marvels Benchmarks ................................................................................................ 315 Our Top Fives ........................................................................................................... 316 Calendar structure for the Marvels ........................................................................ 317 Record Keeping for Successful Accountability to Results .................................... 319 Weekly Tracking .......................................................................................................................... 319 Daily Log Sheet ......................................................................................................... 320 â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Snapshot of a Callâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Template ................................................................................. 323 Benchmark for a Call Template ............................................................................. 325 Your Benchmark for Excellent Results .................................................................. 327 Frequently Asked Questions ................................................................................... 328

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 1: Connect PURPOSE: For them to be relaxed about chatting with you PROCESS: Be relaxed Assume rapport Make them laugh, make them cry, for f## sake make them feel Share something in common, like the weather Match their tone Match the speed of speech Be quieter than them Be a little more understated than them

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 2: Build PURPOSE: To discover what they care about and value

PROCESS: Ask them what they care about Ask them what they do, and if they’re good at it Ask them what they value about what they do Ask them where they’re heading in terms of goals Share a couple of insights about what you care about that aligned, through sentences such as: ‘What I love about…’ ‘I’m interested in…’ Don’t go for longer than twenty seconds, it’s not about you Don’t disagree Share insights about them that are not too personal, such as: ‘You seem to like to make things happen…’ ‘I agree. You seem to have clarity about that…’ ‘You strike me as someone who enjoys…’

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 3: Flip PURPOSE: To allow them to get clear on why this is important to them

PROCESS: ‘I’m curious about how XXX fits into this?’ Let them talk Don’t interrupt Let them tell you why joining this matters to them Don’t convince them they’re right, just, seriously, shut up Reflect back what they said, in no more than ten words, and be accurate, say what they said, not your version that you think sounds better And listen, until you can truthfully say, ‘I get why we’re talking…’ Then, ‘So it’s a sense that…’ Or, ‘It seems to be more about…’ Don’t say, ‘So it seems you…’ Don’t use the word ‘you’, it’s too confrontational and there’s no room for them to think You could also ask, ‘Did you get an opportunity, yet, to see our success stories and programs?’

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 4: Match PURPOSE: To see if we can serve them and how we would best do that

PROCESS: Open with softeners, such as, ‘Can I just learn a little more about what’s important to you…’ ‘I’m wanting to get clear, I guess, on what matters to you…’ ‘Do you mind… I think it’s important… I’d like to get an understanding a little more about what matters to you…’ ‘Thank you…’

CLARITY GETTING CLEAR ON WHAT MATTERS TO THEM ‘So are you wanting this for <suggestion of possible solution here> as well, or is it that you’re clear and you see being a <choice> in your future…’ ‘Okay, so for you it’s both… cool…’ Share an insight here, so it’s not an interrogation. Be brief ‘And what about the type of <insert choices here>…’ (don’t speak of features, speak of benefits, for example, ‘So perhaps working with many people, so you influence groups rather than just individuals…) Whatever they choose… ‘I like that…’ ‘And can I ask, do you see yourself perhaps <insert another benefit here>…’ ‘Okay, I think I’m getting it… Can you help me, here… it seems you’re wanting to <insert benefit they want here, based on conversation>… That’s part of what this is about for you…’

You want them to talk, or say… ‘Yes’ ‘And in a couple of years, where do you see yourself being, given what we’re looking at is ideal and you achieve your goals and dreams…’

CHUNK UP GIVE THEIR REASONS A HIGHER PURPOSE, WHICH MAKES YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE When you hear their answers, ‘chunk up’, which is take what they said, ask yourself, ‘What is this an example of?’ for example, they say they want more income, this is an example of more choice, so you ask, ‘So I’m sensing more choice is part of what you want to achieve…’ Don’t add, ‘…is that right?’ to the end of that. Make the statement drift off at the end, so they can respond without feeling pinned down Back off :) Relax

CONVICTION THEY ARE ASKED QUESTIONS SO THEY HAVE TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES THEY WANT THIS. NOW WE’RE GOING TO HAVE THEM START TO JUSTIFY WHY THEY WANT THIS… ‘And can I just check in, here… are you cool with <insert something they would have to do that would benefit them, here>? For example, ‘And can I just check in, here… are you cool with receiving feedback on your presentation so your mentor can help you improve the pitch?’ Once they agree… ‘Good, that’s important. Sometimes we come across some people who won’t <insert the above benefit>, and I have to wonder how they think they’ll get the results they say they want…’ They will have to agree with this, which is firing up the Law of Consistency – what they agree with now, they will have to behave in a way that’s consistent with this agreement, later ‘And what about <insert another thing they will need to do that will benefit them>…’ Use a command tone, not a questioning tone, so your tone is even, and does not go up at the end ‘And are you able to <another>?’ ‘And how about <another>?’ ‘And can I ask, are you interested in the more advanced <upsell here>… or the more foundations level?’

‘Hmmm… I think we’re getting a pretty good picture, here. What do you think?’ You want to use the word, ‘think’, and get them to do their thinking on the call, or they’ll say later that they have to go away and think, so do it now, with you If they are not chatty, you have not got good enough rapport, so you have not matched them well enough, so back up and go back to Step Two, and ask them more questions about themselves and share insights Do not continue unless they’re chatty and enjoying the conversation, or you are talking to yourself, not them If you have great rapport, and they’re loving the brainstorming, keep going

CONFIRMATION REFLECT BACK WHAT YOU’VE HEARD ‘Okay, I think I’m getting an idea of where you’re wanting to explore… I like it… Do you mind if we take a moment to check in on what’s important to you, so we can get more clear on what matters here…’ This is about giving them a break – you were asking a lot of them, just then, and now you need to share the burden ‘So you’re doing this for <repeat back what’s been agreed to>, and for <more>, and also it’s important to you that there’s <another>…’

CONSISTENCY REFLECT BACK SOMETHING COOL ABOUT THEM ‘Hmmm… nice. So it’s about <insert something cool about them that you have learned about them, such as they want a challenge, or they want to succeed>… So many people don’t give themselves the opportunity to… <whatever you’ve learned>, and settle for so much less.’ ‘And you’re putting yourself first… I mean… so many people don’t ever… so maybe this could also help with <suggest how it could help>…’ Chunk up

Chunk up to a higher intent on the cool thing about them

‘And it’s so much more than that… <insert true greatest purpose of your Thing of Awesomeness here>.’ They say, ‘Yes’, you say, ‘You’re right.’ ‘And I think too many people <insert lame behaviour here> and wonder why they don’t get results…’ They agree, and you say, ‘You’re right.’

CONFLICT ADD DRAMA SO IT’S NOT ALL TOO EASY, SO THEY DON’T LOOK FOR THE CATCH, YOU GIVE THEM ONE ‘Oh, yeah, I didn’t ask… I should have… Are you okay with <insert something they need to do in the program to succeed that requires commitment from them, such as classes>? We should have covered that, I’m sorry. We don’t offer <insert lame way of delivery here that only a loser would want>, we found it didn’t work, so we don’t offer it… is that, um…’ They say, ‘Yes’, and you say, ‘Fabulous. I’m pleased.’

COMPLIMENT YOU NEED THEM TO CONFIRM YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, SO THEY CAN’T SAY LATER, THEY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT ‘Okay, I think I’m getting an idea of how you want this to be… How do you think we’re going here…’ You are looking for a compliment, here, and if you don’t get encouragement, don’t continue ‘And I like your <insert attribute they’ve displayed here, such as focus, discipline, determination>. It suits you…’ You’re returning the compliment Contribution This is including them in the decision making process ‘Um, do you mind, I think perhaps I have an idea of which way to go from here… can I ask, what have we missed here? There must be something we haven’t thought of…” You want their questions here, or they’ll get off the phone and get doubtful on their own. All thinking needs to be done with you. And when they have a question, you say, every time, a combination of these responses… ‘Yup, should have thought of that…’ ‘Great question…’ ‘Yes, you’re right with that…’ ‘Good thinking…’ ‘So let’s go back and look at that…’ and you answer the questions, with past tense language, such as, ‘Around that we would have…’ ‘Maybe the thinking on that needed to be…’ ‘What else do we need to cover… we’ve covered quite a bit… um, what about support… we didn’t cover that <or whatever is a key positive of your Thing of Awesomeness>. Do you have someone who champions you, who wants you to be happy, who celebrates you and your success?’ ‘Great. And we’re here too, remember. I think it’s important to know you’re doing this with support…’

CONQUER THIS SECTION IS ABOUT RAISING AND OVERCOMING OBJECTIONS ‘And what about asking for help… Do you ask for help when you need it?’ They answer… ‘Coz here’s the thing… we have members who access the same materials, the same classes, the same opportunities to succeed, and we have some people who do nothing and go nowhere with it and we have others who go ahead and succeed… we have to wonder what the difference is…’ They have to tell you it’s based on the individual effort people put in ‘I think you’re right. I think it comes down to ourselves. And I’ve noticed, the people who succeed are the people who apply the systems, and who ask for help…’ They agreed earlier to ask for help, they’ve told you how to succeed, and they’ve now linked success with your support ‘We’ve seen people earn nothing and others earn over <insert income or whatever benefit suits here>… Same access, same experience…’ ‘And you know what…’ Bringing it back to safer ground ‘The people who the best aren’t necessarily the most talented, or the most experienced… it tends to be the people who use the system, and who don’t feel the need to reinvent the wheel…’ ‘And the other thing we see is some people take months to make it happen and then others seem to take so little time… they blow me away… we have <insert cool success here, for example, one student who had paying clients before they’d attended their first face to face training>. That wasn’t anything like me, I definitely took the scenic route <or whatever would cause your buyer to feel less pressure to succeed like the gun did>.’

CHECKING IN THEY MAY ASK YOU HOW YOU WENT, OR ABOUT OTHER STORIES Be understated Don’t be overly enthusiastic Don’t oversell how it’s all roses – that’s bullshit in any program ‘Hmmm… I think I was more the later bloomer…’ said with a smile ‘I think what did it for me, when I was finally ready to get it, was using the methods in a way that suited my style, so it’s natural to me…’ or whatever you know reassures your buyers about what could go wrong for them ‘In the end, it’s about what we bring…’ Get agreement

CLOSE (TEST) NOW YOU NEED TO LIGHTEN IT UP For example: ‘Give the important stuff to the busy woman!’  And then, ‘I got there despite myself1’ ‘So where were we… (laughing)… oh yeah, we’re saving the world… well, someone has to do it and I think we’re up for it!’ ‘And what about you, <NAME>, do you have in mind when you want to be working with clients?’ Where appropriate, in response say: ‘That’s our job, leave that to us…’ ‘So X, Y and Z is important… I heard that was important to you…’ Recap what you heard is important to them, in the same order in which it was shared ‘So I think we’re making progress… I think I’m getting a sense of where it would most suit you…’ ‘What are your thoughts on which course to choose, <NAME>, or shall I make my recommendation?’ Make your trial recommendation: ‘I think the entry level program (if this is true) would be too basic for you. I think it would disappoint you, and I don’t want you saying to me later it’s not enough of a challenge…’ ‘You’re probably more likely to want the advanced training… Do you think that’s right? Or…’ Share any concerns you have, for example: ‘My only concern, I guess, is whether you want or need <insert advanced something here>…’ Let them talk themselves into their choice If you now get more questions about the programs, answer each question with a question where appropriate Do not become an information booth – if you answer the question, add something of value for them For example: ‘Yes, you can finish it quicker, we just notice that it’s a good idea to stick around and get the ongoing support for as long as you can. It seems to help results…’ ‘Yes, sure… you can miss classes… they’ll repeat for you down the track, just log in when it’s repeated…’ ‘Yep, that’s right… that seems to be what you’d prefer, I’m hearing…’ ‘And budget… we need to cover that… are you cool with the <insert deposit or whatever here>?’ They say, ‘Yes’ (or ‘No’, in which case you offer the smaller program)

‘And is the monthly payment of <$X> okay with you, or…’ They say, ‘Yes’ so you continue ‘What else did we leave out? What else do we need to think about… there must be more… So we got that you need… <and list what they said they want or agreed to>…’ pausing after each one to get confirmation ‘…and that you value <share their values and what they consider important>…’ pausing after each one to get confirmation ‘So how are we doing, <NAME>?’ They will sound positive ‘I agree. We rock!’ or ‘I agree, we’re awesome!’ Get confirmation

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 5: Recommend PURPOSE: Agree on a program choice

PROCESS: ‘So I’m thinking… you cool if I make a recommendation? If I get it wrong, you’ll tell me…’ ‘Okay, so I think it’s the smaller program (or whatever is best)… I know you like the idea of challenge, it’s just with what you said about your workload, and your family… I just want to ensure you have the space you deserve for this… How am I doing?’ You are asking for their opinion of you, because they are buying you, not a program You are wanting them saying, ‘Yes’ a lot ‘Yep, I’m thinking maybe that’s right… the entry level is probably right for now…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘And that way you have the flexibility to <insert benefit here>…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘And we covered the <insert something they are very comfortable with>, which is great…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘Okay, I think we’ve done well here, what do you think?’ They’ve said ‘Yes’ so many times

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 6: Backtrack PURPOSE: Give them reassurance they’ve thought of everything and can now commit

PROCESS: ‘Great, before we move on, do you mind if we back up and go over some of this again? It’s just… I think this is important, and it matters, and it’s worth the extra few minutes to be sure we’ve thought of everything… we don’t want to get it wrong… Are you cool if we…’ You want them to say, ‘Yes’ ‘Okay, so at the start you shared…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘And you mentioned <X> was very important to you…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘You also shared you love <Y>…’ They say, ‘Yes’ ‘And that you wanted…’ etc YES YES YES to all of it They’ve now agreed to everything they want three times – most people need three times to be convinced, so you’ve done it ‘And I’ve scribbled something here… what is it… aah, yes… you want to <Z>, which is great!’ They say, ‘Yes’

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 7: Close PURPOSE: To close them fully so they’re excited

PROCESS: ‘Great, so you’re thinking they smaller program… I agree, with your commitments, to pace yourself. How does that fit with you?’ When they agree, you say: ‘I agree. So, the <insert name of program>?’ When they agree, you say: ‘I agree. Great decision.’ ‘<NAME>, I don’t think there’s anything we’ve left out… can you think of anything we haven’t thought of?’… ‘No, me neither…’ ‘We did great! I’m so pleased for you!... So please, allow me the honour of being the first to say to you… congratulations!’ Chat ‘So, do you have a pen there… Great, write this down… Her name is <insert name of assistance>… she’s our Welcome to Your Program Team Member… and she’s going to want to let you know that all the bits and pieces have come through to the right place… and do you have your diary there… Great, what time can I let her know to expect all the bits and pieces through today?... Excellent, thank you, that’s appreciated…’ ‘Now, do you have your credit card there?’ Don’t speak Let them get the card, and process in their minds that they’re doing this, and don’t rescue them or speak over these thoughts ‘Great, go ahead…’ and get the details… ‘…and the expiry…’ etc

‘Can you help me out, I can’t remember I sent through the bits and pieces you need to complete… do you remember?’ They’re helping you, which cements the close ‘Okay, I’ve sent through the bits and pieces for you to send back. I’ve emailed <NAME> to let her know they’re being sent by you to her in the next <whatever timeframe they’re sending it in>… and are you leaning towards the online payments or the onetime payment?’ Whatever challenge arises, say: ‘That’s not a problem, that’s our job.’

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU ACHIEVING RESULTS, RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PHONE, AND A BUYER TO CALL, YOU CAN START CONVERTING, TODAY. HERE’S THE FAST TRACK WAY TO PROFITS, TODAY.

Step 8: Future Pace PURPOSE: To reassurance them of their decision

PROCESS: Don’t be more enthusiastic than them, it’s their moment ‘So now I’ll go chat with our team and let them know about you, and your goals in this program. I’ll also organise a gift to go out to you, as well. I’m not saying what it is, but I think you’ll appreciate it.’ Chat ‘So, I’ll chat with the team, and then <NAME> will give you a call to confirm everything arrived where it needed to… and we’ll put the Welcome Pack together for you, as well, and see if we can get it out tonight for you, which would be great for you to have for the weekend, I’m thinking…’ Chat ‘And what I’ll do is make sure you get your Access Codes this afternoon, too. As soon as we get the bits and pieces here, so you can start accessing your membership right now.’ Chat ‘Great. So we’ll reconnect in a couple of hours. I look forward to it.’

NOTES

YOUR SUCCESS ALL THE BEST STRATEGIES FOR SALES SUCCESS WILL COUNT FOR NOTHING IF YOUR MINDSET IS GOING SABOTAGE, DELAY AND FIND REASONS WHY YOU CAN’T OR WON’T DO IT.

The mind that says ‘that won’t work for me’ or ‘I don’t think I can’ or ‘maybe later’ is going to get different results to the mind that says: ‘you bet, I’m doing it.’ I’ve been doing this long enough to have a pretty good idea of what’s going to stop success coming your way. Whilst I’m going to talk about what mindset to have, it’s also instructive to talk about what mindset to avoid. For example, how is it that on the same day I can have a conversation with one member of my team where they share their excitement over the four friends they made that day, and from another team member complaining that there’s not enough support and they ‘can’t do it?’ There comes a point, when you’ve done this enough times, to see that the difference – let’s be clear here – the ONLY difference between what two people’s experience is their thinking. Same training. Same opportunities. This isn’t the first time this has happened. In my eleven plus years running personal development and coaching training programs, the message repeats itself. The team member who lacks self-belief and doesn’t do anything to rectify it is going to start blaming the company, their lack of time, their unique circumstance for their lack of results. They’re going to start trying to change their external world – their hours, their structure for their day – to ‘fix’ what can only be fixed by looking inside. How you think is creating your reality. Right now. As you read this. You are making decisions and coming to conclusions that fit in with your beliefs about how the world is and how you interact with it. A different team member comes into my office often to thank me for how their life has changed. I appreciate them thanking me, but it’s them that trained in this program, used what they learned, asked questions, got involved, got the support they needed when they needed it, took feedback and acted on it. THIS PROGRAM, AND ANY PROGRAM, IS WHAT IT IS DEPENDING ON WHOSE HANDS IT SITS IN. It isn’t the number of times something is repeated. It isn’t how it’s presented. It isn’t the lists, the templates or the checklists.

It’s your willingness to do what it takes to succeed. Nothing EVER replaces your mindset, which will determine your actions. Nothing ever will. In the past month, I’ve had one consultant set a personal record for number of friends made, and another struggle to close one friend a week. No one can make you do this. No matter how much someone may want you to succeed, your success is up to you. It always was and always will be. You can, however, be smart enough to get the help you need to accelerate the process! That’s what this program is for you... it’s an accelerator pedal. Sales, like everything, is a series of decisions and non-decisions that cause results. The results are either what you want, or not what you want. The key to sales success – do the right stuff, stop doing the dud stuff. So why isn’t everyone a success in sales? There are three things that will determine your business success as a result of this program 1. YOUR MINDSET 2. YOUR STRATEGIES 3. YOUR ACTIONS How you think, what you plan to do and what you actually do is determining your success or lack of it right now. SO TO CHANGE YOUR RESULTS YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE SAME THREE THINGS – WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU PLAN AND WHAT YOU DO. This module is going to be focusing on the first key – your mindset. This is not the place for self-doubt, hanging back and waiting to see if it works. This is the time for you to roll up your sleeves and engage fully in what’s coming your way. The best results, again and again, come to those who throw themselves into it and have a ‘red hot’ go. Bring your best game. Make new decisions. Do new things. Plan differently and with precision. Use the systems you’re going to receive and only change them if you have found a better way, not if you think you know better. No time for egos or hurt feelings. I have much to do, and so do you.

Here’s to YOUR success SHARON PEARSON

NOTHING DEFEATS THE PASSIONATE MIND We have seen the best sales training delivered to a small group of people. Some found it ‘interesting’. Others found it the ‘difference that makes the difference! Oh. My. God! How long has this been around! Thank you!’ We know who’s more likely to get results. LATER, THERE’S A SETBACK. A sale that seems a certainty falls through. The ‘interested’ person is deflated, and that affects their next conversation, which would have been a buyer, if they had been more passionate. But how could they be? they cry… They’ve just been rejected not five minutes ago. Then: This isn’t for me. I think I’m better suited to… LATER, THE PASSIONATE PERSON HAS A SETBACK. A sale that seems a certainty falls through. The passionate person is deflated for a moment, and then is back on their game. And that affects their next conversation, which is a buyer, because they brought their passion. How else could it be? they cry… They know how to bring the game to make the game happen. The passion is easy to bring when everything is new, and you’re learning, and you’re not expected to perform because you’re still a rookie. Then shit gets real.

Where’s the results? Passion, in a space of expectation of delivery, is where true character is revealed. If you can maintain your passion, no matter what the results are, you will make it. Consistent passion defeats everything else. The best trained, but only ‘interested’ sales consultant, will not succeed. The consistent passion for excellence and for success is what it takes. Here’s some ways to think about this: □ I’m passionate about getting results □ Rejection just fires me up to find someone else □ I don’t need to be convinced to be inspired, it comes from within □ I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to do it

INSPIRE YOURSELF There is nothing worse than having someone on the team who needs to be ‘jollied along’ to be positive. It won’t work. Anyone who isn’t self-driven and naturally programmed to feel optimistic is going to stay an energy-drain, no matter what. You must be the source of awesome, every single day. Do not rely on someone else to energise you. Don’t be that person who says, ‘Wow, I feel so much better after talking with you.’ Aaah… REMEMBER WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO SUCCEED WITHOUT PROMPTING. BE YOUR OWN DAMNED SOURCE OF INSPIRATION.

CERTAINTY AND WARMTH BE THE SOURCE OF CERTAINTY AND WARMTH MOST PEOPLE ARE MISSING. Feel certainty, and feel warm towards the people you connect with. Be the example most people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have in their own lives. People will feel they belong, and that they matter, when you do this. If you can do this for them, they can move towards you.

EDUCATION AND CURIOSITY GET EDUCATED. BE TRAINING. REVISIT TRAININGS. RUN TRAININGS. Talk about what you’ve learned, all the time. Talk about your results and how they were achieved. Make it commonplace to be the source of how to succeed. Accept all feedback. From everyone. Don’t be precious. No place for egos. If someone cares enough to give you feedback, be grateful, even if you don’t agree. Learn from rejection. Learn from every single thing that happens. And until you are getting great results, shut up and learn.

HANDLE REJECTION LIKE A WARRIOR It’s going to happen. More people will say ‘no’ than will say ‘yes’. If you don’t like the sound of that, go into a support role and get off the front line. You’re in the way. The statistics are that many people will blow you off, not return calls, forget you exist, move onto something else, or deny ever wanting to learn about your Thing of Awesomeness. DEAL WITH IT. OR DON’T, AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. It’s not changing, certainly not because you lack the resilience to succeed. Success is built on the rejection, the setbacks and the complete mess ups of the past. We learn from them, we improve, and we do better. Don’t get emotional when someone blows you off. You’re giving them too much power over you. Rise about setbacks and a cold streak of no sales. It happens. Deal with it. And keep going until the outside world – your results – match your inside world of your goals. Just do that.

SOCIAL ABILITY EQUALS INCOME You need to be able to chat with people. All kinds of people. In all kinds of situations. And they need to feel good about that conversation. One of our new sales team quit, today, after receiving the feedback that they like to dominate too much in conversations. The feedback was, to change that, or leave. There are plenty of people who would rather control the conversation, show off, demonstrate how much they know and generally score points, than make sales. YOU MUST ‘BE LIKE WATER, MY FRIEND’. BRUCE LEE, YOU ROCK. You must flow with the conversation. You must be with the person, and dig them, and appreciate their points of view. You must welcome their ideas and show you appreciate them as a person. Be cool and fun and present to them. Care about them. Be passionate about working with people. Be able to read them and respect where they’re coming from. Don’t say: Oh, I didn’t mean that. No, that’s not what I was saying. That turns people off fast. Be the person who is not known by your buyers, although they think they do. You are so focused on their needs and wants, that they rightly think you have the same needs and wants. I don’t mean lie and say you care about something you don’t! I mean, let them fill the space with what they care about, and care about them enough to respect that. Just do that.

DOES IT NEED TO BE SAID? Be the person of integrity, always. Do the right thing. D.T.R.T. WHEN IN DOUBT, DON’T DO BUSINESS. WHEN THEY CAN’T AFFORD IT, STOP THE PROCESS. It is not about you winning, through them losing. That sucks. It’s also a short term sales strategy, I figure. Be the example of excellence your buyer wants to see. Be fun. Be passionate. Be certain. People are attracted to people who walk their talk. Be self-aware enough to know that your results and non-results are you, so don’t be the loser who blames the leads, or the marketing or something else external to you. Find a way. Or you’re one of the problems the business has to solve. Let your results do the talking. Everything else is bullshit. You’re in sales. You either have buyers, or you have conversations. Your team knows the difference. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re not producing, look at your attitude, not at the world around you. It’s you. It’s your thinking. You’re a beacon to everyone with no money and no intention of joining, because you’re all over the place with that lack of focus. Own your shit. Don’t make anyone else in your business smell it.

LEAD THE WAY SALES CONSULTANTS – THE GOOD ONES – ARE LEADERS. They want to be. It’s natural to them to be setting the standard and leading by example. They may not be able to lead in terms of developing others (and that’s a common challenge; the skills for selling are not the same as the skills for developing people), but they do set the bar and raise it. If you’re in the middle of the pack, what are you doing? Find out what the top producer does, and do that. □ Learn from implementation. □ Never get distracted by the noise of someone else’s crap. □ Don’t ever get affected by someone else’s ‘mood’ □ Always be the ‘mood’ of fun and certainty and passion □ Always set the example for focus and discipline □ Always hit your numbers in terms of outbound calls, contacts made, closes set up

DO WHAT WORKS SHOCKING TRUTH REVEALED IT’S SHOCKING. HERE IT IS. IF YOU DO WHAT WORKS, YOU WILL GET GREAT RESULTS. Be disciplined enough that you understand that to attract buyers, you must take care of everything that comes before that – the caring; the conversation; the service; the relationship; the numbers of calls… Be disciplined enough to achieve your KPI’s without being told or reminded. Only losers need to be told to do their calls. Seriously. Naturally, automatically and with great discipline measure your results – your numbers of calls, to conversions etc. Know your numbers, don’t rely on someone else to know them for you. This is your business. It may be a business within a business, but it’s a business. And good businesses do what works.

TURN UP TO THE CALL LIKE IT’S A FIRST DATE THIS MAY BE YOUR 100TH CALL THIS WEEK. IT’S THEIR FIRST CALL. And they expect, quite rightly, to be treated as if they’re the only person in the world. □ Never sound like you’re reading from a script □ Be fully present to them and into them □ Treat them as if it’s a first date and they’re nervous – be respectful and into them and patient □ A setback is no excuse for a poor next call, ever

ABOVE AND BELOW THE LINE It’s simple. Your thinking is either above or below the line.

Ownership Responsibility Accountability

Blame Denial Justification If your thinking is above the line, you take full responsibility for your results and non-results. You are accountable for what happens and what doesn’t happen. You own all that happens, the good and the crap. Below the line thinking means you’ll blame someone or something else if things don’t go your way, you’ll be able to deny your responsibility for what has occurred and you’ll have justifications for what it’s not working out. Either is fine, just know that for every minute you’re below the line in your thinking, you’re delaying getting the results you want. I know when I’m talking to someone if they’re above or the below the line in their thinking. Below the line is: I can’t help it, or: It’s not my fault, or: This won’t work… Above the line is: That’s down to me, or: I’m responsible for that, or: Leave that to me. Above the line thinkers get given responsibility, get to lead and get to make the hard decisions that will ultimately move things forward. Below the line thinkers don’t get any of this, and complain because they’re left out. Make a decision, if you haven’t already, to get above the line all the time, and not just when things are going well.

FOCUS EQUALS REALITY What you focus on is what you get, to the exclusion of everything else. We teach this on day one of our most basic training, but I still see people needing to be reminded that they are creating their results, not luck, circumstance, someone else or their past. WHAT YOU FOCUS ON YOU WILL GET. WHAT YOU FOCUS ON YOU WILL GET TO THE EXCLUSION OF EVERYTHING ELSE. Whatever takes up your mind space will be your predominant thought. If you have a predominant thought about how something or someone else is ‘causing’ your bad results, you will have no mind space for turning things around. And I can guarantee the ‘someone’ or the ‘something’ isn’t fixing it. It’s down to you, so stop complaining. Right now. No one and nothing is responsible for your current circumstance but you. Imagine you see your world through a flashlight. You can’t see everything the world has to offer, because there’s too much to focus on. But your mind can cope with what it sees and senses through a narrow beam of the flashlight. And what you see is all you can see, because your mind (everyone is the same) can only cope with this amount of data. So what did you choose to shine your flashlight on? What did you choose to notice of your world? Given the infinite possibilities available to you, what did you see, sense and touch? Did you like it? You chose it, so I hope you do. This is how it works… Imagine you have seven smaller beams of light you can focus, anywhere you want. You see, we have access to about seven pieces of information in each second. That’s about as much as our brains can handle. After that, it just deletes the extra stuff like it doesn’t exist. Don’t believe me? Have you been onto Youtube and watched the basketball game like millions of others?

Did you see the gorilla? Or like nearly everyone, did you deny there was even a gorilla there? Yup, me too. It’s obvious there’s a gorilla there once I’m told. I play it back, and yup, right there, dancing, is a gorilla. We can only ‘see’ with our minds. We don’t see with our eyes. So our focus is a focus on the mind. Seven chunks of focus is available to us. So what seven chunks are you choosing to ‘see’? You can see opportunities, people to model because they can show you how to achieve results, and you can see the areas you need to improve and grow. Or you can see what you lack, how hard it is, and what’s missing that you believe will stop you ever really succeeding. You can focus on anything you want. You are choosing it. No one ‘makes’ you focus. With your own freewill, choose to focus on what’s going to help you move forward, right now.

100% RESPONSIBILITY I don’t know if this is true, but this is how I choose to think – I believe that I am 100% responsible for all my results, the ones I like and the ones I don’t. I THINK THE WHOLE THING IS DOWN TO ME NO ONE ELSE. NOTHING ELSE. I don’t blame my past for my results. I don’t blame the economy. I don’t blame the lack of the leads, or the quality of the leads. It’s me. And when things go really wrong, it’s really me. No exceptions. Sometimes it would be really nice to say, ‘that’s not me’. But it is. Like I said, I don’t know if it’s true, I just act as if it is. Then I know when things go well, it’s me. And if things go really well, it’s really me. If you act as if this is true, and take 100% responsibility for everything that occurs, two things happen. One, you have less to report to people about what’s wrong in your life, because what you’d tell them is what’s wrong with you. And two, your results will improve. There’s someone I know who hit a problem that seemed to have no solution. And yes, it’s a tough one. Instead of persisting to find a solution, they gave it to their manager to solve. Now that manager knows that they are 100% responsible, so they will find a solution. They’ll also get the rewards that go with it. The other person who gave up will never know what they’re made of. Self-esteem comes when you accept this law. Accept all the responsibility, and you have to act. You have to do something. You are compelled to turn things around. That’s how self-esteem grows. It doesn’t grow when you hang back. It doesn’t grow when you give the tough stuff to someone else. And it doesn’t grow when you think responsibility for your results lies somewhere else. As your self-esteem grows, you become more attractive to others, and a leader. You can now grow your sales beyond what you can imagine. Nice work.

HELP ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE… One of the ways successful sales consultants do well is by making it all about the other person. Whilst they have their own goals that they are determined to achieve, they know the key to it is to help others achieve their goals. If they help enough people achieve their goals, then their own goals will be taken care of. In a world consumed with self-interest, this seems maybe a little counter-intuitive. But it works. So many people are trying to get what they want from others, that the rare people who come along to help others are easily noticed and attractive. We’re tired of people driven by self-interest. We welcome the person who gives a shit about us. It’s refreshing. Sometimes it’s even startling. BE THAT PERSON. BE THE PERSON WHO IS SO INTO OTHERS AND THEIR GOALS, THAT PEOPLE ARE DRAWN TO YOU. That will magnify abundance, and you will achieve your goals. The cool thing is, you did it by helping lots of other people.

WHAT SCIENCE SAYS ABOUT OUR THOUGHTS More than anything else, I believe it's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, which determine our destiny. TONY ROBBINS

No dream to achieve something that is beyond your reach today will be achieved if you keep today’s thinking. Today’s thinking is getting you the results it’s capable of. Nothing more and nothing less. Yesterday’s thinking is getting today’s results. Today’s thinking will get you tomorrow’s results. Unless you change your thinking, your results are going stay where they are. Quantum physics tells us that our thoughts are not static, standalone moments. They affect real matter. Studies have shown that our world is made up of atoms; atoms are made up of energy; and energy is made up out of consciousness. Your thoughts not only matter – they create matter. Bohr and Heisenberg studied the puzzling behaviours of subatomic particles and discovered they were potential. They created fields of potentiality. They only became something once they were observed or measured. Every time they looked for an electron, they found it. Everywhere they looked, it appeared. Just the intention of finding it caused it to appear. SO SUBJECTIVITY – YOUR THOUGHTS – WAS NOW TO SCIENCE AN ESSENTIAL PART OF WHAT WE CALL ‘REALITY’. ‘Rational’ people have trouble buying into this. They are far more comfortable with the idea that there is a material world, and us, and the two don’t interact beyond the physical touching of the materials around us. But the idea must precede the thing.

Our dreams, thoughts, hopes, fears and wishes are creating matter around us. Stay convinced you’ll fail, and it will come about. Stay convinced you’ll succeed and a completely different course of possibilities have to come about. Science has proven it. Even so, there are still sceptics who simply can’t believe their thoughts influence their lives completely. I’m not here to convince them. I’m here to give you the thinking you need to create the reality you want. You don’t have to believe it. Just know that every success has a previous thought attached to it, or it could not have come about.

BELIEFS FOR SUCCESS I know with certainty that when I hung around with negative thoughts of how much I had failed, nothing changed except things got worse. When I changed my thinking things got better. But in the beginning, I didn’t know how to change my beliefs. I didn’t have a clue. I wasn’t even aware of the effect my thinking was having on my results, or lack of them. I was clueless to the power of my thinking. I thought ‘life’, ‘circumstance’, ‘chance’ and ‘bad luck’ were the cause of my failures. Then I read ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ by Tony Robbins and he shared what I’ve just discussed with you. That if I wanted different results, then I had to change my beliefs about my world and what was possible. HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED AND ADOPTED TO GET THINGS STARTED:

 I am 100% responsible for my results and non-results  My focus is determining my results  Urgency is needed right now  There is a better way, right now Don’t blame the market, the economy, a client, a supplier or anything. It’s you. We can really get things done if you get it. YOUR FOCUS CREATES YOUR REALITY, SO CREATE EMPOWERING, ENERGISING BELIEFS You must change your beliefs to change your results.

URGENCY IS NEEDED RIGHT NOW I have never been able to understand the slow reaction times of some sales consultants when they’re confronted by a problem. There’s too much time worrying about it and trying to figure out why it happened. They get into what went wrong. They tell the marketing department to do better. They worry about not getting the best leads, or that no on eis answering the phone. F$%k all that. Worry about it later. Right now, turn it around. Act as if life itself is at stake. Take massive action, not ordinary action, and get it sorted. Get on the phone until someone answers. Send cards, notes and gifts to whomever you didn’t reach. Call older leads that didn’t convert back then. GET MORE EXCITED AND MORE ENERGISED. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T LET THE MOMENTUM DIE. Urgency and momentum is everything. Stay focused, passionate and driven, even when the internet goes down and the phone dies. Find a way. Be the example of freaking awesome. The next calls you make will benefit from this. Or, you could feel down because nothing’s working and it’s all so hard. Whatever.

GREAT DECISIONS, GREAT RESULTS I believe that all results come down to our ability to make good decisions. If we focus on the right stuff, take responsibility, act with urgency to move things forward, we’re on our way to making better decisions, but there’s more to it. I’ve worked with thousands of people through my coaching business, my training business, my students and my team. Always, without a doubt, there is a commonality when things go wrong, and a commonality when things go well. The ability to know what to think about and how to make great decisions is crucial to sales success. Our team expands often. When someone joins they say they want to ‘grow’ and to ‘be challenged’ and ‘to really step it up’. They rarely have an idea of that that really means. Mediocrity is pretty well normal – as in, they thought they were operating full out before they joined us – and then realised they had no idea what that really meant until they joined us. To be challenged; to truly operate at your best and to thrive in an environment where excellence, improvements and growth is the norm is not what people are used to. And this is exactly the environment you want to create within your sales team (even if you’re the entire team). To do so, you’re going to need to know how to make outstanding decisions. HERE’S THE FORMULA I USED AND THIS WILL GET YOU STARTED: MAKE DECISIONS THAT ARE

 Sustainable  Purposeful  Replicable  Profitable  Not based on what you did yesterday, unless it worked Your decision needs to be able to be carried forward to other situations ie if you give the refund to someone this time, would you make the same decision for everyone? If you do these steps this time to solve a problem, will they work next time?

The decision needs to be purposeful – as in, does it move you towards the purpose of your business? The decision needs to be replicable – if you do this time, and design a system, could you use that same system next time and it would work? And does it drive costs down, or profits up? Finally, does it improve things, or is it simply a continuation of what you have done before? Defending past decisions is useless in business unless the past decision is still valid according to the above criteria. How to think seems a ridiculous thing to talk about. Of course, you say, we know how to think. We all do. However, the quality of our thinking is determining the quality of our results. The more we learn about the criteria for making great decisions the more and better decisions we can make.

Criteria ‘Criteria’ for decision making is about the requirements that we need to take into account to make the decision. For example, what are the criteria for hiring someone? Beyond the job description, what else is required or preferred? Personality type? Speed of doing the task? Ability to get along? And so on. The more decisions you can make that have criteria attached to them, the better your decisions. THERE CAN BE CRITERIA FOR EVERY DECISION. Who to hire. What systems to design. What goes onto your web site. Who you will do business with. What marketing campaign to design. Think about it – do you have a list of criteria for all of the above? Then for the thousands of other things you must make decisions on in your business? Or is it ‘gut feel’ or ‘experience’. Experience is fine if you get the outcomes you want from your decisions, but if experience equals getting the same results you got before, and they’re not the results you want, then ‘experience’ in this instance is useless. How do you know you’re making a great decision? What’s your way of knowing? Is it because you’ve made a decision, so that’s that? Is it because you want to get the job done? Or is it based on what gets the results you want?

I know in our business we have redesigned one of our websites four times as we learn more about the criteria of what makes a successful site for us and our clients. Each time we learn more, we rebuild aspects of the site. When we learn a lot, the whole site is redone completely so all the criterion is taken into account. I know that in our businesses the team is empowered to make decisions as long as they use suitable criteria for making their decisions. If they get something wrong, the feedback is on what criterion they used, not on what went wrong. That way, the thinking is influenced, so they can make better decisions next time. It takes time. Some people are never going to change the way they do things. Some people prefer to stay the way they are, and do things the same way they always have. Their results are not likely to improve. I have seen people who didn’t have any idea of criterion, learn it over about 6 months, and then finally succeed in a role where before they would have failed through endless mistakes. The only way I know how to develop great decision making is through education, modelling of those who already do it and practice. There are no shortcuts but it’s the one true ‘thing’ worth acquiring. Decision making is my true wealth, not the money I have or the assets I have accumulated.

DEVELOP A WEALTH MINDSET There is a mindset that wealthy people have. You need to adopt, if you haven’t already, the mindset that wealth is possible for you, sooner rather than later. ‘Luck’ has little to do with it. I get luckier the more success I have! Luck happens the more decision you make, the more you have a go and the more you show up. Do you expect things to work out the way you planned? Do you anticipate success and plan for it, or do you see all the things that could go wrong, which makes you hesitant and procrastinate? I know people who don’t believe that getting rich is possible. Their minds are closed to the possibility that they can change their future. They have decided that their history equals their destiny. If I had done that, I would be earning less than zero! There are also those who tell you to be ‘realistic’ about what you can accomplish and that it takes months to get good at this sales thing. I have seen and worked with too many people who have disregarded this to ever believe it. Too many people believe that wealth can ‘only happen to someone else’. Why? I have sales consultants earning hundreds of thousands of dollars each year. The only thing I believe separates them from anyone else in sales who is struggling are the decisions they make on a regular basis to move me forward, DESPITE CIRCUMSTANCE. This is a great time in history to be making money. The internet has literally revolutionised how business can be done. There have never been so many opportunities to make money through leads generated from the internet. Change brings opportunity to those who act. Too many people sit back and notice change, or complain about it, but the few who capitalise on it will succeed. There are already countless millionaires created through on online businesses. Even the words ‘money’, ‘sales’ and ‘wealth’ create some interesting responses from people! I’d hate to think what happens when all three are used in one sentence! ‘I’m creating wealth through selling a money-matters seminar.’ :) The question is, are you willing to learn? As I have already said, success is a strategy – it is a skill that can be learned by anyone if they are willing to do so. It can mean you have to stop defending why it won’t work for you! If you are willing to learn, willing to become a master at sales success, willing to keep an open mind, then you can learn to succeed at anything, including making money quickly. IT IS CRITICAL THAT YOUR MIND IS OPEN BECAUSE THE ENEMY OF LEARNING IS THINKING THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW.

If its fear that holds you back, I think that as I take my last breath, it won't be the things I failed at that I will regret the most, but the things I never tried! The overwhelming regret of people in the later years of their lives say ‘it's not what I did do that I regret ...but what I didn't do!’ The best way I know to bust through any limits is (1) goal setting and (2) follow through and accountability. Something powerful happens when goals are written down. Your brain now knows what it has to seek out for you. It doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. It just knows that that’s what you’ve pictured, so that’s what it’s going to create. Change your thinking and your world has to change. Who do you associate with? Are they helping you and supporting you make it happen? If not, hang out with some other people as well, who will support you and encourage you when you need it. You are shaped by the people you hang out with, the books you read, the TV you watch and the education you get. To have what you want in life, be it a car, a house or the lifestyle of your dreams... you must first be able to see (imagine it) then believe that you already have it! Of course that can be a bit of a challenge, because most of us tend to focus more on what we don't have and what we don't want. The 'Law of Attraction' sees to it that our thoughts keep on creating our reality. And that is why I am very diligent in watching what I focus on and what I allow my mind to dwell on. I am convinced that our unconscious mind can be programmed or directed to search its vast stores to select, compile and provide appropriate information, hence the 'flash of inspiration' you need in order to solve a nagging problem, to be in the right place at the right time, say or do that certain something at a specific time. This phenomenon is nothing new. Thomas Edison is known to have locked himself in a quiet room, to give commands to his unconscious mind and, as he described it, ‘sit for ideas’. Simply put, the clearer the picture you hold in your mind of what you want, the more activity you generate inside your subconscious system.

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND This is what successful sales consultants do constantly... they only do anything on sales calls and in sales preparation by starting with the end in mind. People in my team or my programs ask for my opinion about ‘something’. Then they start talking, and I don’t know what part of what their saying to pay attention to. I stop them and say: ‘What is it you want help with specifically – so what do you want to achieve as a result of this conversation?’ I need to help the person focus what their saying so they only communicate what I need, so we can get the desired outcome. Before a successful sales consultant even considers building their sales success, they must be able to visualise or articulate a clear and concise picture of what the results will look like when they’re am finished. Too many people do ‘process’ – they don’t know why they do it, they just always have! Yesterday I was chatting with one of my team about a speech they needed to give – and they wanted me to help them on how to reduce content. But how could I help them unless I knew what the results are that you want to achieve? The whole conversation changes completely. So how about writing down your end goal – and then working back from there. This will always keep you on track. If what you’re doing isn’t leading towards that intent, stop doing it.

CREATE A MILLION DOLLAR SALES PRESENTATION Here’s the thing – Most people are wrapped up in their own self-interest. They want to know the answer to WIIFM - What's In It For Me. They don't give a damn about your company or how much money you want to make. So if you are going to get their hard earned money, you've got to find out what it is that they want. Your message needs to be a personal message. You need to understand their hopes, their fears, their wants and desires and then you can communicate with them personally. You've got to get inside their heads, enter the conversation in their mind. Speak to them in a manner that has them nodding their heads in agreement. Remember, most people are wrapped up in their self-interest. THEY WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO WIFM - WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME. THEY WANT TO KNOW □ How much money they can make. □ How much money they can save. □ How much younger they can look. □ How much healthier they can be. □ Or a thousand and one other reasons they should want to do business with you

So, if you want them to part with their hard earned money, you've got to come to them with a personal message that touches their emotions instead of their intellect.

HERE ARE QUESTIONS YOU NEED ANSWER IN ORDER TO KNOW: □ Exactly who is your optimal client? □ Where do they live? □ What do they earn? □ What are their biggest fears and frustrations, wants, desires and needs? □ Why should they buy from you as opposed to everyone else in your industry?

THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ANSWER – 1. If you were the customer, would buying from you be the clear and obvious best choice? 2. Why should I choose to do business with you as opposed to any other competitor? 3. Is your product or service a lot better than any other available in your category? How is it better?

If you can't answer these questions, and let's be honest, not many can, then you're probably not ‘sold’ on the superiority of what you expect people to buy. If you're not sold, you can't sell. Acting with enthusiasm is no substitute for being genuinely enthusiastic because that requires good reasons. When you are sold on the superiority of what you are offering: Your Business, Your Product, Your Service, convincing others is easy. IN ORDER TO CONVINCE OTHERS, YOU FIRST MUST BE CONVINCED. Did you know that what someone else has to say about you is at least 10 times more believable than what you say about yourself? And, until you find out just what your buyer is looking for, what matters to them, you'll not have a chance in this world of having them buy anything If you don't understand their reasons for buying, and instead base your marketing on your reasons for selling, you will be doomed to failure! In other words, you need to take the focus off yourself and focus on them... Solve their needs and you will increase your profits. What if you uncovered their need and then focused your entire marketing delivery system like a laser on fulfilling that need? You would have developed what is called the Million Dollar Sales Presentation… In a nutshell, if you SOLVE a PROBLEM for someone; take their pain AWAY; they will pay you well for it. Add some great testimonies and social proof and you have a winning formula. Like any media, telephone, print, internet or face to face...when selling...you must follow a PRECISE FORMULA. This will produce a highly predictable and profitable result. This formula must be strictly adhered to.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not saying for one moment that every member of your team should speak exactly the same words every time....but what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m saying is they should use their own words, but never deviate from the formula. It's your job as a business owner, sales leader or consultant to ensure sales training is carried out in every facet of your business. An enormous amount of money is left unbanked because of poor selling skills.

YOUR PERSONAL VISION STATEMENT The person with the most clarity about where they’re heading will tend to control any environment they’re in. As a sales person or business owner, your clarity and certain must exceed your buyer’s lack of certainty inversely and completely. They are certain that they have doubts. You have none. They are confused. You have clarity. They lack purpose. Yours is established and rock solid. Your personal mission statement is a statement about who you are and what you stand for. It’s the type of person you want to become – who you aspire to be – the ideal you.

FOR EXAMPLE: “I am a truly compassionate and passionate person in all areas of my life. I am loving, warm, genuine, heartfelt and caring in my all my relationships. I am a person of integrity, a valued friend, and I’m known for my generosity, my sincerity, my patience, my understanding and my passion. I am always positive, see the best in people, see the best in myself, happy, empowered, engaged in life, present and love it all. I am admired, sought out as a leader, and respected by those I meet.”

AND THEN FOR YOUR CAREER/BUSINESS: “I am a truly outstanding sales professional in every respect. I am extremely knowledgeable about what we offer, fully present to what my clients are experiencing, and I’m always completely prepared for all my appointments. I am filled with passion for what we do and always set an example for others when it comes to who to be, and how to conduct ourselves within our organisation. I always say what I mean and mean what I say, and my passion and enthusiasm for what we are creating enthuses others. I set the standard when it comes to integrity, passion, caring, focus, discipline and results. I am warm, friendly, approachable, and caring of all I meet and I take care of my clients as if they are family.” Then set your intention to walk this talk every single day. Read your mission statement daily and with emotion. Connect to it. See its reality. Act as if it’s all true, right now.

NOTE: There are no accidents when it comes to results – you get the results based on who you are, and what you do. There are no exceptions. You are not the exception.

Sample vision “I am a truly outstanding sales professional in every respect. I am extremely knowledgeable about what we offer, fully present to what my clients are experiencing, and I’m always completely prepared for all my appointments. I am filled with passion for what we do and always set an example for others when it comes to who to be, and how to conduct ourselves within our organisation. I always say what I mean and mean what I say, and my passion and enthusiasm for what we are creating enthuses others. I set the standard when it comes to integrity, passion, caring, focus, discipline and results. I am warm, friendly, approachable, and caring of all I meet and I take care of my clients as if they are family.” SARAH REYNOLDS – 2012

GOAL SETTING IN SALES Goal setting is often ignored, done half-heartedly or done with gusto for a while until it’s forgotten. Successful sales leaders set goals constantly, then put plans in place to achieve the goals, knowing their achievement will move them towards where they’re heading. More importantly, achieving financial goals helps them achieve the lifestyle and independence they sought when they went into sales in the first place. It’s hard work failing and struggling. It’s equally hard work cranking a business up to be successful. The hours are long, the to-do list longer, and there’s no end in sight. Given that both types of sales leaders – those who struggle and those who do well – are working the same number of hours, I’d always prefer to be in the second group, and building towards success, knowing that the hard work in the beginning was going to pay off in the end. To do this, I invested in learning about goal setting early in my business. What I’m going to share with you is what I’ve learned, and more importantly, what I’ve found has worked, in my business. For 11 years I have used this system, and my whole team uses it too. We use it because it works. It takes discipline to keep coming back to the tasks, because it’s easy to get caught up in ‘fire management’ – putting out the bushfires that occur in a new business – instead of being proactive. At least one hour every day should be set aside for working on your business, and if you’re not the business owner, act as if you are and do the same thing. This is a minimum. If you can do more, the better. Working on your business includes things like – Learning a sales system that works and testing it in your business Sales training manuals developed for your team There are thousands of different ways to work on your business. The important thing is that you set aside the time to actually do it and then what you do is recorded, so you don’t have to reinvent the whole thing in a few months’ time when the exact same system is needed again.

WHY GOAL SETTING DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK This started out as a simple, ‘7 Steps to Achieving’ kind of standard text. And then I started digging. I researched (read, surfed the net) and asked questions, and talked to clients, and came up with some stuff that surprised me. One week later, many walks on the beach to think about it all, and I’m going to disagree with the ‘experts’ and say that goal setting DOESN’T work. Not always. And that’s for one simple and understandable reason... IT’S NOT THE GOAL WE WANT, IT’S THE FEELING WE’LL GET ONCE WE ACHIEVE THE GOAL. We don’t want the car. We want the experience of driving the car. We want the feeling we think we’ll get when we drive that new, freshly-smelling-of-leather vroom vroom. We don’t want the new job. We want to stop the feelings we’re having for our old job, or we want to experience a new sensation. We are not, as much as we would like to think it, logical beings. We’re emotional beings. And I know for some people, that’s just hard to take. So let me ask you this... Do you set goals? If you’re setting them, are you hitting them? If you’re hitting them, are you setting the next level of goals beyond that? Now ask yourself, why? Is it really to hit the goal for the sake of it? Can’t be. That’s empty, even just writing it seems empty. So if it’s not the thing we want, what do we want to experience? That’s different for most people, but there are some common themes that crop up whenever I bring this up in conversation. We want to feel safe, certain, connected, loved, significant and worthwhile. We don’t want to feel anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, mad, sad, shamed or guilty. So we’re going to do whatever gets us the feelings we want and helps us avoid the feelings we don’t want.

And all of this, pretty much, is being done unconsciously – as in, we don’t even know that’s how we’re deciding whether or not to do something. We think we’re logical and that we reason through our decisions about what we’ll go for and what we’ll leave alone, but the truth is, the logic justifies the feelings we want to have. WE MAKE DECISIONS EMOTIONALLY. WE JUSTIFY THEM LOGICALLY. Emotion stimulates the mind 3000 times faster than rational thought. It's an emotional world we live in. What has this to do with goals? Easy. I kept digging, found some cool, non-mainstream stuff and found out – The goals we set are based on the same rules. We will pursue our life’s goals based on this stuff. Scary? Perhaps. But with knowing it comes great power for ourselves and how we decide what we’re going to commit to. I’m not getting any younger (not news and no research required for that little nugget) but I hope I’m getting wiser. I hope I’m getting wise enough to know that given I make decisions about my selection of goals emotionally, I should get clear on what emotions I want to experience more, and which ones I don’t want. Because, frankly, this is shaping my life. It’s shaping the future I’ll have. It’s shaping how I’ll feel – about myself and my life – in the years ahead. Once we know this stuff about emotions, it’s easy to see why some people don’t stick to goals – the feelings they are experiencing right now are the same ones they want to experience. So why do anything differently? Makes sense. And that is why, despite all the goal setting techniques, tricks and strategies in the world, some people will not achieve their goals. The problem with this: Okay, so we’ve worked out why some people don’t achieve their goals. They’re happy with how they feel. Or are they? No science, just experience, but the people I meet who don’t hit goals and keep wondering why don’t tell me that they’re really happy. In fact, they tell me something else altogether.

‘I wish I knew what’s wrong with me. I am frustrated and getting depressed. I set goals, have the best intentions, and then... nothing.’

Hmmm... And when I ask them, it’s usually something like... ‘I don’t know...’ Not helpful, but when you understand what drives us, you can see it plain as day. They want how the goal would make them feel, but have become addicted to how they feel now. And how they feel now is not making them feel good. This is what I came up with. The most common emotions that people stay with, which will guarantee they will NOT hit goals are – □ Confusion

□ Blame

□ Overwhelm

□ Self-satisfaction (ego)

□ Sadness

□ Anger

□ Self-pity

□ Guilt

□ Resentment

□ Anxiety

Long list, but that’s okay, because when I kept digging, I found out something way cooler than this... There are even more emotions that we can learn to tap into that will get rid of the negative emotions and get us, finally, achieving our goals. The emotions that will get us achieving goals easily, and, YES, it will even work for you – □ Happiness

□ Resolve

□ Feelings of contribution

□ Playfulness

□ Love

□ Purposefulness

□ Connection

□ Centred

□ Belonging

□ Receptive

□ Certainty

□ Responsive

□ Optimism

□ Trusting

□ Calmness

□ Curious

Emotions we want I did some research (read, again, surfing) and found plenty of information to back up this emotional connection – in fact – lots of lists of what we want to feel. Here’s the list of what kept repeating itself. See if you can relate:

The reason goal setting doesn’t always work… I have no science to back this up. Just a couple of thousand hours of coaching and the same again as a trainer. But I see the pattern.

PEOPLE GET – WE GET – THE LIFE WE WANT, WHETHER WE WANT TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

So if you’re not hitting your goals, or not even sticking to them, maybe you’re happy with how you feel on a consistent basis, so why do anything? Then again, maybe you’re not... And part of you knows things could be, and should be, a whole lot better...

NOW IS THE BEST TIME The busiest day of the week is tomorrow

There is no better time to focus your attention to goal realisation than right now. Nah, that’s not true… yesterday was probably a better time. And the day before yesterday was even better than yesterday! Don’t have a time machine. Can’t get that moment back. CAN do something right now to get it all happening. Here’s story from someone who knows goals… ‘My father used to work for a company as head of its engineering department. His department is responsible for installation of machines and upkeep of all the engineering needs of the company including its utilities such as water, electricity, and communication. He told me one time over dinner that he gets his assignments from the company’s Plant Manager. He said there were occasions (lots!) where some jobs required urgency so they have to work on those jobs round the clock. He usually receives a ‘Job Order’ form for each job and on the space for `Due Date` was written `yesterday` instead of urgent or ASAP or a definite date. It was the plant manager’s way of jokingly asking that the job requires urgency because each hour that passes by would mean loses for the company not to mention the commitment to its client. They even have clients that penalise delays in their production delivery and it reflects a bad image for their company.’ What if you ran your life like that? Where penalties applied if you missed deadlines and promises to yourself? The stuff that has consequences right now tend to get our attention. The stuff that has consequences later… years later… we can put off, because we don’t see the connection between no action now and disappointment years from now. Another story… we have a coach (his name is Rohan Dredge). He says on the CD that he was asking himself who he wanted to be in 10 years’ time. When he had a vision of the type of man, husband, leader and learner he wanted to be, it became effortless and inevitable to seek out the program that would move him towards this vision of himself. Many people have no idea who they want to become. So there’s no pain if they don’t set the big goals that will inconvenience their average day, so they keep getting average. So there’s no urgency. And time passes. And more time passes. 10 years later nothing has changed except for the date, yet for Rohan Dredge, who I admire greatly, everything will have changed.

I get that there’s no specific or particular ‘due date’ for the attainment of your goals. I just think (and I’ve done a tone of thinking on this!) we can’t keep setting wishy-washy, let me just get through the week goals… they need to be some decent, Holy … goals. I like this saying (no idea who said it, but if you did, let me know and I’ll add the attribution!): ‘Learn from the mistakes of others; you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself’. Makes sense, huh? One mistake I’ve seen someone close to me make is to get pretty aimless about life. Now they’re in their 60’s feeling they wasted years. Hurts to watch. I don’t want to make that mistake. And I don’t feel I have time to wait until I’m 60 to see if they did get it wrong, either. One of the things I say to my students all the time is that the money will come back if you invest it, the time never will. Time is a far more precious resource than money. Wise investment of dollars brings the dollars back. Waste time and it’s never coming back.

GOALS KNOW NO BORDERS In June 1880, in a small rural town, the daughter of a captain was born. The family lived in a simple home built in 1820 by the child’s parents. When she was nineteen months old, she fell ill. No one knew what was wrong, they just knew she was expected to die. When the fever subsided, the child’s family was elated – she had recovered. Except the child’s mother noticed her daughter wasn’t responding to sounds or to anyone around her. She was now deaf and blind. Helen Keller became a difficult child, terrorising the whole house, and the talk became of putting her in an institution. When she was six the family took Helen to Alexander Graham Bell (yes, the same guy who would have lived in obscurity if he hadn’t set some pretty cool goals himself) . He hooked the family up with Anne Sullivan. ‘We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Someone was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten, a thrill of returning thought, and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me.’ Helen immediately asked Anne for the name of the pump to be spelt on her hand and then the name of the trellis. All the way back to the house Helen learned the name of everything she touched and also asked for Anne's name. Anne spelled the name ‘teacher’ on Helen's hand. Within the next few hours Helen learnt the spelling of thirty new words. I’m not sure whose goals were bigger. Anne to teach or Helen to learn? EITHER WAY, THE ONLY REASON WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM DIDN’T LET ANY APPARENT LIMITS GET IN THEIR WAY. I had a new coach say to me ‘I’m too young for this’, so I introduced them to the coach who is 70, who had told me ‘I’m too old for this’. Then I introduced them both to coaches younger and older than them who had become successful coaches. It’s all in how you look at it.

OUR BRAIN HAS A ‘THING’ CALLED THE RETICULAR ACTIVATION SYSTEM (RAS FOR SHORT AND ‘CAUSE I CAN’T SPELL IT WITHOUT SPELL CHECK).

The RAS has one job – to hunt for what you want it to find. Ever bought a car, and then you see that exact same type of car everywhere? Hardly noticed them before you got interested. Now you’re interested, your RAS knows what it has to find for you. You express the interest, the RAS goes hunting for your interest. It can’t do anything else. And it can’t turn off.

1954: Bannister breaks four-minute mile (ABC Headlines)

Roger Bannister, a 25-year-old British medical student, has become the first man to run a mile in less than four minutes. His time was 3mins 59.4 seconds, achieved at the Iffley Road track in Oxford and watched by about 3,000 spectators. For years, the 4-minute mile was considered not merely unreachable but, according to physiologists of the time, dangerous to the health of any athlete who attempted to reach it. For Roger Bannister, it was vindication. When he crossed the finish line with a time of 3 minutes, 59.4 seconds, he broke through a psychological barrier as well.

John Landy, considered one of the great milers of that era, never had gotten closer than within 1.5 seconds of the 4-minute barrier before. Within 46 days of Bannister's breakthrough, Landy surpassed the record with a 3:57.9 in Finland. Bannister and Landy raced later in the year in the "Mile of the Century" at Vancouver, a runoff to decide who was the faster miler. Bannister won in 3:58.8 to Landy's 3:59.6, the first time two men in one race had broken 4 minutes. By the end of 1957, 16 runners had logged sub-4-minute miles. You tell yourself ‘it’s hard to set goals’, and your RAS now knows its mission… go find examples of where goals are hard to achieve. Bingo, you get to say ‘See, I was right.’ Your RAS doesn’t care about your age, your race, your gender, your job, your income, the economy, your schedule, your anything. It just cares about what you want it to find, and then like a heat seeking missile, off it goes, working even when you’re not thinking about your race, age, religion or job. This means, and boy was this a biggie for me, that the ONLY thing that is limiting our progress is ourselves. In short, goal realisation has no limitations to race, age, sex, belief or conviction, religion, economic condition in life, educational attainment, experience, fame and influence in society; you name it. The only thing that might limit its potential is yourself, if you don’t work on it. There’s a guy who had a childhood friend whose father was a doctor who owned a small community hospital. Economic conditions in this rural area were pretty tough. Many people couldn’t afford to pay the hospital bills, so my neighbour’s father settled for payments in kind; whatever patients can afford. Because of this, the hospital including the lot on which it is located had to be mortgaged to the bank to keep it running. Mortgage didn’t get paid – hospital was closed. Because of the doctor’s desire to serve the community, he rented a place and kept the clinic going (how’s that for tenacity). The friend wanted to help people too, and thought he’d do it by becoming a doctor like his dad. More tough times piled up, so he couldn’t go to the school. Finally, he managed to scrape together enough to get to med school. He had to get a job to keep paying for everything, and that ended up taking all of his time. So he quit school temporarily. His work led him to learn another trade which enabled him to set up his own business. It was a success, and because of this he was able to build his own non-profit clinic which was managed by his father.

HIS ORIGINAL INTENTION TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE CAME TRUE. AND HE INSPIRED A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE WITH HIS STORY.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. “

It All Starts with a Dream On January 29, 1954 Oprah Gail Winfrey was born to unwed, teenage parents in Kosciusko, Mississippi. Oprah had a mountain of obstacles already in front of her as a newborn baby... she was born to unwed teenage parents, she was female, she was black, and she was poor. Oprah's mother was an eighteen-year-old housemaid named Vernita Lee. Her father was a twenty-year-old doing duty in the armed forces: his name was Vernon Winfrey. For the first six years of her life, the young Winfrey was raised on a Mississippi farm by her grandmother. That being perhaps the first stroke of good luck for the young child. Oprah has stated that living with her grandmother probably saved her life. While in her grandmother's care, she was taught to read at a very early age, instilling a love of reading in her that she retains today. She began her public speaking career at the tender age of three when she began reading aloud and reciting sermons to the congregation of her church. Oprah has said that she heard her grandmother state on several occasions that Oprah was ‘gifted’. While the young child didn't know exactly what being ‘gifted’ meant, she thought that it meant that she was special. And that was enough to keep her going. That bit of praise, the thought that she was gifted and ‘special’ may have been what got her through the hard years that she was to spend with her mother. At the age of six, her mother, Vernita Lee, decided that she could care for her young daughter and Oprah was sent to live with her mother in Milwaukee. She was raped by a cousin when she was nine years old and later molested by a male friend of her mother's and by an uncle. The young girl never told anyone about the abuse that she was suffering. Instead, she held her anger and pain inside and she rebelled. She repeatedly ran away and got into trouble. Her mother decided to put her into a detention home. Fortunately for Oprah, she was denied admission to the home because there were no openings. So, in what may have been her second major stroke of good luck, she was sent to live with her father Vernon Winfrey in Nashville. Before she ceased her promiscuous and wild behaviour, she

became pregnant and gave birth to a stillborn baby boy when she was fourteen. The death of her baby devastated her and she vowed to turn her life around. Her father helped her with her mission by strapping her with his strict rules and discipline. Vernon made sure that his daughter stuck to her curfew, maintained high grades in school and encouraged Oprah to be her best. Oprah's father helped her turn her life around. Oprah has spoken of his requirement that she read a book each week and complete a book report on the book. At the age of nineteen, Oprah landed her first job as a reporter for a radio station in Nashville. Shortly afterwards, she entered Tennessee State University to pursue a career in radio and television broadcasting. During her freshman year at TSU, Oprah won several pageants, including "Miss Black Nashville" and "Miss Tennessee." In 1976, Oprah Winfrey moved to Baltimore, where she hosted a TV show called People Are Talking. The show was a hit and Winfrey stayed for eight years. She was then recruited by a TV station in Chicago to host her own morning show, A.M. Chicago. The show was competing against the immensely popular Phil Donahue Show. After several months, Oprah's warm-hearted style had taken her to first place in the ratings. Her success led to a role in Steven Spielberg's film, The Colour Purple in 1985, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award. In 1986, Oprah started the Oprah Winfrey Show. The rest is, as they say, history. Oprah has come from being a poor, black, farm girl from Mississippi to a national celebrity. To her resume she can add reporter, actress, writer, producer, activist and TV talk show host... but it doesn't stop there. Oprah, it seems, is unstoppable. Kids do it so easily! They have unlimited imaginations about what they can do, have and experience. Us adults, of course, know better! We’re far more ‘realistic’. NOTHING great was achieved with the ‘realistic’ mind. The phone, the computer, the TV, space travel, cars, diving equipment... none of it would exist today if it wasn’t for the unreasonable mind. Will Smith, the actor, says he ‘runs’ from realistic people. They are the killers of dreams. Johnny says ‘I want to be a xxx...’ The realistic ‘helper’ says ‘Be realistic.’ Johnny gives up on the dream, or parks it away to get on with living ‘realistically’. Fight the urge to do this. Fight it with all you’ve got! I used to be realistic, and I played it safe, so I never risked failure, disappointment or feeling inadequate. Which meant I constantly felt like a failure, disappointed because nothing ever happened and what’s worse, the lack of action GAURANTEED I felt inadequate. It’s only when I became unreasonable, and really started to fight for the dreams I had locked away, that anything happened. Remember, I had 10 years of playing it safe, keeping my dreams locked away for ‘safety’. Tony Robbins talks about ‘massive action’ preceded by massive belief. I like this, because either way, I’m thinking. I’m either thinking I can, or thinking I can’t. Either way, my RAS will make it right, so I may as well think big.

DREAMS CAN COME TRUE. IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY.

You’ve just got to get a little more unrealistic, a little more unreasonable, and then… get a system… check this out… A new method of goal setting combines the traditional SMART process with the Law of Attraction; it’s called SAFE. SAFE stands for:

See your goal vividly, Accept it on faith, Feel it with emotion, and Express it in pictures and words.

Act on It A DREAM IS GREAT. A DIARY WITH A PLAN IS BETTER!

Landmarks like the Statue of Liberty of the United States of America, the Big Ben of England, the Taj Mahal of India, the Great Wall of China, and any other favourites you’ve seen or want to see... Imagine if these great ideas, these dreams were not acted upon, will we ever have them to be enjoyed by people from every nation on earth? What kind of achievement will each nation have if great thinkers just sit on their ideas and never acted on it. Absolutely nothing. There’d be a lot more TV watching (if that’s possible?). So what’s keeping us from acting on our ideas? Fear of failure is our biggest deterrent. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of sinking further to a depressed state than we presently are, fear of totally losing all we’ve got if we don’t succeed, fear of taking risk, fear of getting it wrong, fear of the unknown... That’s a fair bit.

And it’s what stops people from every doing what they have dreamed of. I see it enough to know that the whole burden gets lifted when they DO something. Even if it’s a TINY little action with tiny little consequences, the act itself is enough to open the doorway for possibilities. Just a little crack in the door is enough. The risk involved in gambling is for non-thinkers. This is tantamount to luck risk, not good judgment risk. Risk of this kind has no room in goal realization. It is like ignoring safety on the road, just for kicks, come what may, short-lived, to satisfy a craving. However, risk in pursuit of a goal has a definite lasting purpose, a purpose that could bring untold benefits once you achieve your goals. It is a risk worth taking for thinkers, not for non-thinkers. Risk in pursuit of a goal can bring stability and security in life, a sense of wellbeing and happiness. You already know this but I’ll say it anyway. Most of what you fear won’t ever actually happen. In fact, you are going to be pushed to even remember what you were afraid of once you get started. Think of times in the past when this has been true for you. Fear of what MAY go wrong (so our imagination is what we’re afraid of?) is the biggest stumbling block to acting on a creative dream that it practically holds everything still. So it is imperative that we see these fears for what they are... We have what’s called Old Brain and New Brain. I’m sure they have better titles than that, but this will do for us to get the idea.

NEW BRAIN IS RATIONAL, CLEAR THINKING AND ACCESSES THE SITUATION.

OLD BRAIN SEES SOMETHING NEW, RETREATS, GETS WORRIED, AND LOOKS TO PROTECT YOU, BECAUSE IT DOES NOT LIKE ANYTHING NEW.

It’s designed to protect you from tigers and other stuff that actually causes real harm. No tigers? It doesn’t care! It sees tigers in anything new. New idea? NOOO! Stay away!!! New!!!! Scary!!! Might harm us!!!! Run!!!! New opportunity? Are you kidding me???? Get back home in front of the TV!!!! Whew!!!! That’s better!!! For a moment there I thought you were actually going to do something that I can’t see all the steps. Not on MY watch, buddy!!! Old Brain, bless its cotton socks, is ONLY happy if you’re still, safe, not thinking of changing and deep in a rut.

No tigers there. The problem with this is pretty obvious. And I have to ask, why aren’t we taught this stuff in school? Would have saved me 10 years. So we listen to Old Brain, thinking it’s us making ‘reasonable’ decisions. And that’s how people get old. Not age old, I mean mind-old. If you want to understand adversity, take two identical acorns from the same oak tree and plant them in two different locations. Plant the first in the middle of a dense forest, and the other on a hill by itself. Here's what will happen. The oak standing on a hillside is exposed to every storm and gale. As a result its roots plunge deep into the earth and spread in every direction, even wrapping themselves around giant boulders. At times it may seem the tree isn't growing fast enough but the growth is happening underground. It's as if the roots know they must protect the tree from the threatening elements. What about the acorn planted in the forest? It becomes a weak, frail sapling having to compete with giant oaks for nutrients and space. And since it is protected by its neighbours, the little oak doesn't sense the need to spread its roots for support.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF ADVERSITY… WELCOME IT. THAT'S YOUR SURE-FIRE ROUTE TO ULTIMATE SUCCESS.

‘You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.’ DALE CARNEGIE

Conditioning the Mind THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE. IN GOAL ACHIEVEMENT, THE FIRST POINT IS WHERE WE ARE THE DISTANCE IS THE ACTION WE TAKE TO TURN THE DREAM INTO REALITY THE SECOND POINT IS OUR GOAL. A STRAIGHT LINE MEANS ZERO OBSTACLES.

Not going to happen. Seems to me, the more important the goal is to me, the bigger the obstacles. I also know from experience, that each time I overcome an obstacle I am getting better prepared for the next challenge. We gotta toughen up. Tony Robbins talks about obstacles being the stepping stones for us to walk on to become the person we are supposed to become.

THERE ARE FIVE WAYS TO CONDITION THE MIND:

Gather ‘reference points’ for success – focus on, immerse yourself in and stay present to all the things you can do. These reference points become the reminders to you that you can keep going, even if there are obstacles.

Remember ‘cause’ and ‘effect’ – the Law of Cause and Effect states that the more we take responsibility for our results and non-results, the better our results. It’s easy to take credit when things go well. It needs to be just as easy to take responsibility when things don’t go well, rather than blaming something or someone else. The more responsibility we take, the more influence we have.

Small steps – take small steps every day. Even if it’s to read your goals. Write them down, think about them, take little steps, just make sure you do something until it’s habit. The Olympics aren’t won on the day. They’re won in the preparation. Start preparing for your personal greatness today.

Hang out with people who believe in you – and if you don’t know anyone like that, get a new group! At The Coaching Institute one of things people love is the instant access to like-minded people who encourage them.

Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t – the more you focus on what you can do, the more your RAS will work for you finding ways to help you.

THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR A DETERMINED MIND. DETERMINED MINDS SHAPE OUR WORLD. INDIFFERENT MINDS SPOIL IT.

What you care about counts. What you act on makes the difference. Your self-esteem grows each time you act on what’s important to you. Self-doubt is pretty well gone for me, these days, because of this. Picture someone who has a mind filled with tense feelings and negative emotions. Easy to guess where you think this will lead to in goal realisation. Nowhere. This will lead to goal disintegration. You have to take all the garbage (negative self-talk) out of your mind and replace it (the moment you notice it!) with something else. Sometimes it takes a while to remember this. Minutes go past, and the negative self-talk keeps going. Then you remember, ‘Stop!’ Then you forget what you’re supposed to do next.

THIS WILL MAKE IT EASY... □ Negative self-talk. □ You notice the negative self-talk. □ You stop and can’t remember what to do next. □ You tell yourself ‘I can turn this around. And every day I get better at creating what I want.’ □ Write it down. Carry it around. Start making the difference in your thinking today.

Success, failure, good times, bad times, they all happen. They are part of life. But when failures and bad times occur, sometimes we become so affected by these circumstances to the point of being slaves to them. We feel so bad that we become affected by them in almost everything we do. We lose control and so more trouble drops in. And all these, if we analyse it, are based on the way our minds respond to it, the negative way. Let your mind control the situation. Do not let the situation control your mind. W. Mitchell was in a blazing motorcycle accident and a paralyzing plane crash four years later. (Read that again, it’s true!) He learned to take responsibility for the countless changes in his life. Whether coping with devastating burns over 65% of his body or being sentenced to life in a wheelchair, this once

robust Marine firmly held on to his feisty nature and quick wit. It was "his" uphill journey and he was determined to maintain control, cope with the changes, and prosper. Without a doubt, Mitchell understands what it takes to rebuild and eventually reach the top. His life clearly illustrates his philosophy -- that most limitations are self-imposed.

‘Before I was paralysed, there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I lost, or focus on the 9,000 I have left.’ W MITCHELL

Goals that Care The word ‘care’ as defined in the dictionary can mean worry or a troubled state of mind. It can also mean close attention, a heed, liking, protection, or responsibility. And it can also mean a feeling of concern or love. The last meaning is the care we need to infuse into our goals. Care is a strong word when it comes to human characteristics, so strong that it can move mountains. It can drive a tough, heartless, no-nonsense guy into tears even if he is not the recipient. Even in a world where someone believes that the law of self-preservation prevails, people can see through the motive of a goal or project if care is injected into it. We’ve all been moved by a report of a story of a goal that is infused with care. Contribution is the greatest quality we can bring in our lifetime. Human nature has a way of reciprocating kindness or care by giving it its full support when they see a worthy cause at work. It’s like two-way traffic. When we focus on a goal with a touch of care, it is care that serves as the catalyst that drives us to make this goal succeed. We get so excited, we cannot wait for it to materialise. The result or outcome will give us an air of satisfaction or contentment. A bit like giving the presents at Christmas, rather than receiving them! When care is there, it leaves a lasting impression to the person receiving it. Even if the receiver unintentionally or effortlessly thinks about it, the effect lingers for a very long period of time. And care usually multiplies by itself because beneficiaries or recipients cannot help but gladly talk about it.

Now imagine creating a world for those around you based on care. Everybody could use some care once in a while. It boosts spirits to a higher level. In terms of goal selection, care is a big factor so much so that if incorporated into the choice of the goal we intend to pursue, it will propel the goal. People unite around goals that care. It was Thanksgiving when a knock was heard on the door where a struggling family lived. When the family’s 10 year old son came to the door he was greeted with a smile from a stranger and a basket containing a generous Thanksgiving meal – a meal they would have otherwise gone without. That day the son made a promise to himself that he would do well enough in life so that one day he could return the favour. That boy was Anthony Robbins. This one selfless act of unconditional love inspired Anthony Robbins so deeply that, years later, with his first hard earned pay check he delivered two baskets. These two baskets turned into millions in what is today called the Anthony Robbins Foundation International Basket Brigade. A Basket Brigade takes place when one person creates a basket of food that is delivered to a family in need. All that is asked is that one day when they’re able, the recipient pay the gift forward. When I heard that story I was motivated to act, and so The Coaching Institute Foundation was created. I personally donate thousands of dollars to it weekly, so we can really make a difference with goals that care.

Passion Drives the Goal If enthusiasm could be bought as an item from a store, do you think it would sell? And if it did, just how much would you be willing to pay for it? I’m pretty sure your response would be: ‘You must be kidding. It’ll be a sell-out. The store would run out of stock, you’ll have to wait in queue for a long time before you can get your order no matter the price.’ Who do you prefer hanging out with? People who are negative and uninspiring? Or people who are enthusiastic and motivated? That doesn’t mean being ‘hyper-excited’ or over the top. It doesn’t mean suddenly becoming a different person. It does mean getting enthusiastic about what you do, at the risk of it being noticed.

This touches a nerve for some people. For some reason, especially women. It’s as if a large proportion of the population can’t shine, can’t be enthusiastic and can’t have a twinkle in their eye for fear of being ‘found out’. ‘Hey, you’re looking a bit enthusiastic, there. Settle it down.’ Ridiculous. It’s okay for people to see you buzzing with excitement. It’s okay for people to wonder why your eyes are shining. It’s okay to look enthusiastic. It’s really attractive and makes people want to be with you. (If that’s a bad thing, that’s a different e-book! :) )

HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO CULTIVATE YOUR ENTHUSIASM:

Adopt the “as if” principle. I think it was Professor William James who first came up with it, and it’s cool...

The ‘as if’ principle is simply acting as if the thing you want is already here. For example, if it’s confidence you want, act as if you are confident. After a while, you’ll feel the way you want to feel.

Adapt enthusiasm into the “every day counts” principle. In other words, be enthusiastic on almost everything you do every day no matter how insignificant they are, no matter how small they are. All those small things when added up become big. This is the “as if” principle in small ways.

Read your goals daily! Can’t emphasize it enough. I get a little lost now if I don’t focus on my goals. I have a ‘putting out the bush fires’ day when I forget my goals – running from one crisis to another, reacting, and not being proactive. Yuk!

Don’t get out of bed until you’ve thought five nice thoughts! I’m not kidding about this one. Enthusiasm starts with your thoughts. Don’t wait to have a great day before you feel great. Feel great and you’ll have a great day.

Don’t let the bastards get you down – can’t tell you how many times people ask me what to do about the negative people around them! My advice – don’t let them beat you. Giving in to their thinking is simply not an option, and you already know that. So the only alternative, except whining about it, is to get on with your life regardless.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ANNE FRANK

GOAL ACHIEVERS How you define success is personal to you. Whether or not you achieve is also up to you. I’ve seen talented people squander what they have and achieve little. I’ve seen people with minimal talent achieve greatness simply through their determination to achieve their goals. I’ve seen people who’ve been given every edge in life turn to drugs and I’ve seen people raised around drugs create a legacy. I’ve seen people break records when everyone told them to give up. I’ve seen people give up when everyone told them they could succeed. You’ve seen them too. The difference is nothing but their thinking. What’s in them is creating their world.

I THINK A REAL ACHIEVER IS SOMEONE WHO:

Is truly happy and contented with the result or outcome of the goal they have aimed to attain no matter how small it is.

2. 3. 4.

In spite the contentment, continues to further improve their skill and knowledge.

5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Have served and will continue to serve others and make a difference.

Aims for excellence and makes it a limitless endeavour. Remains steadfast and humble or even humbler that they used to be in spite of their achievement.

Shares their talents with others. Have not stepped on other’s while in the pursuit of their goal. Who remain grateful to the people who have helped them attain success. Does not boast of their accomplishment. Have complete appreciation for what they have, but more importantly, for whom they are and the difference they can make.

Goal setting and sticking to the attainment of those goals are essential in sales. Of any role in any business that needs tight, specific goals, sales is the place. Our brain doesn’t search for random stuff. It searches for whatever you tell it matters.

If you say, ‘$1,000,000 in commissions, no matter what’, and then behave in a way that’s consist with this achievement, your brain will search for how to make that reality. If you say, ‘$1,000,000 in commissions’, and then do the strategies of a $60,000 a year consultant, the brain will look for $60,000 a year strategies. Your brain is a focused machine that only knows how to obey. If your actions are that of a low earner, it will keep giving you evidence of how to achieve exactly that. If your goal is to, ‘not be broke’, or to ‘get by’, it will deliver exactly that. And it’s not enough to be pumped about $1,000,000 for a short burst and then let the enthusiasm wane as the going gets tough. You must maintain the energy, focus, and disciplines of a $1,000,000 consultant no matter what.

NO EXCUSES. NO LAPSES IN ENERGY. NO JUSTIFICATIONS.

Let’s face it. $1,000,000, to most people, is a lifetime of earning. To earn that kind of money, you need everything firing when it needs to, and consistently. Average won’t cut it. Once you’ve got your mission statement in place, then it’s time to break it down into smaller, more focused ‘chunks’ of information, so you know exactly where to focus your brain. Achievement of anything is done through little steps, one after the other, consistently. So it makes sense to break it down into those steps.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF SOME GOALS THAT ARE IN DETAIL… IT’S THE END OF 2015 AND I HAVE: □ Assisted over 200 wonderful people to say ‘yes’ to themselves and their own potential □ Achieved my personal sales target of $3,000,000 easily and effortless □ Been an example of leadership and personal power to our team, every single day □ Sought out and experienced the very best training and study to improve □ Dedicated at least two hours a week to my ongoing education □ Managed my state effortlessly and without thought – my focus is on others, not myself □ Been generous, light hearted, playful, energetic and loving with all my relationships □ Found new ways to serve and assist the members of our team to achieve their own outstanding potential □ Contributed in positive and meaningful ways to the development of others □ Sought feedback willingly and gratefully for how I can improve, serve and contribute even more □ Loved every minute of the journey and this and so much more I am grateful for Once that’s done, then you break the goals down into quarterly goals. It seems to aid in our success when we have 90 days of focus… HOW I DID THIS… 90 DAY GOALS: 1ST QUARTER □ Read my mission statement each day and connect to its truth fully □ 55 new wonderful members this quarter □ $550,000 in sales first quarter (and building after that as I learn) □ Studied: 

Ultimate Influence by Sharon Pearson



Advanced Selling Strategies, Brian Tracy

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Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins



Delivering Happiness, Tony Hsieh

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Five Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell



The Thank you Economy, Gary Vaynerchuk

o All online DVD’s and MP3’s on sales provided by my company

□ Started ten minutes early each day to prepare and set up the day and visit all members of the team □ Kept clear and accurate records of my calls, my closes, my conversations □ Contributed at least three ideas to the Marketing Department for how they can serve our community better □ Developed my Facebook profile and presence for our members □ Done what needs to be done to achieve these results – the calls, the connections, the care, the compassion, the clarity, the certainty □ Sought feedback daily on one area I could improve and acted on that feedback □ Aimed for 1% improvement every day in calls, connections, closes

Once the quarterly goals are in place, then we move to weekly tasks – the non-negotiables for the week, that will lead to the quarter being a success, which will lead to our achievement of our goals for the year…

NON-NEGOTIABLES IN SALES WEEKLY NON-NEGOTIABLES: □ I live the mission statement □ 20 minutes of study per day minimum □ 40 calls per day minimum □ 6 long conversations per day minimum □ Post ten gifts/notes/cards per day minimum □ Have five face to face chats in the office per week minimum □ One meeting with mentor per week with specific areas to get assistance □ One suggestion given for how we can improve minimum

“The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist. “ LAURENCE LEAMER, KING OF THE NIGHT

FINAL THOUGHTS Hmmm.. So, 11 years ago, I was thinking about committing suicide. I don’t talk about it that much these days. Seems a distant memory. I got myself into that position all on my own, with my thinking. I thought I wasn’t good enough and would never amount to anything. I was sick all the time. I was depressed. I was self-involved and self-critical and all the other ‘self- words you can think of. Nothing seemed to be working. Everything I attempted turned out pretty rubbish. (I spent twelve years NOT getting any of my 6 crime novels published.) And because of all of that, I was disconnected from everyone around me, so I was lonely too. How I turned it around was to realise that the common element to all my misery was... me. I went wherever I went. My misery came for the ride. It wasn’t, I realised, the world that was wrong, it was my thinking. So then I asked myself, ‘how do people who have had it harder than me have extraordinary lives, and me, who’s had a pretty ordinary upbringing, manage to make such a hash of it?’ So I started studying. I studied everyone who had ever turned their lives around. I’ve shared some of their stories in this program for you. They are the inspiration for me quitting my whinging and getting on with my life. The day I stopped complaining, by the way, I had nothing to say. I had nothing positive to say about anything. So I shut up. And for 6 months I said very little, just listening, and learning, and changing my thinking. Until when I spoke, I had something worthwhile to contribute. Changing my thinking changed my world completely. Within 6 months I was working as a coach and within 2 years I had made my first million dollars. Since then it’s gone from strength to strength, but what I do now is almost inconsequential to what I accomplished then. Changing my thinking was the most courageous, and toughest thing I have ever done. Now it’s just easy. You can start studying each day with the people who inspire you.... You can do that right now. Or, do nothing... Whatever you choose, I wish you a great journey. If it has half the twists and turns my life has turned up so far, you’re in for a great ride! And no matter what, make a difference. Leave this world better for you having been here. It’s a big request, but it’s the purpose of our lives, so let’s get started, I say...

NOTES

MAKING THE FIRST IMPRESSION IF YOU MEET WITH YOUR BUYER FACE TO FACE, THE CLOSE RATE YOU ACHIEVE SHOULD BE MUCH HIGHER THAN WHEN ON THE PHONE.

Because of this one, simple ruleâ&#x20AC;¦ WHEN YOU MEET THEM, HOWEVER THEY GREET YOU, MATCH IT, EXACTLY. The tone of their voice. Their head angle. Their nod, if there is one. Their hand and arm gestures. And when they acknowledge you for matching them, which they will do, unconsciously, match the acknowledgement exactly as they gave it.

MATCHING, MIRRORING AND PACING PEOPLE WHO GET ON WELL TOGETHER TEND TO ADOPT THE SAME BODY POSTURE WHEN COMMUNICATING AND USE SIMILAR GESTURES AND MANNERISMS.

We get on better with people we like or wish to be like and therefore we are able to communicate with them more effectively. Matching and mirroring as it suggests involves matching and copying what the other person is doing. It’s pretty well accepted these days that we want to do business with people who we like or people who we want to be like. Being ‘likeable’ is not the point. If they simply feel comfortable with you, they probably won’t buy, because you didn’t cause them to feel the need to act. Being with you was plenty, because now they feel they belong. They don’t need to do anything else. They have you. So, the goal is to have them want to be like us. We want them to strive to be a better version of themselves, which will inspire them to take action. If they are not inspired to take action, well, I guess what’s the point? To achieve this, we must match and mirror aspects of your buyer that are ‘buying-positive’ and not match and mirror the aspects of your buyer that are ‘buying-negative’. In NLP, they say to match and mirror the person to build rapport. I don’t agree. If your buyer is being really negative, why would I match them? Having said that, the creators of NLP didn’t say this, it’s people today who quote NLP who say it. They’re wrong. It is essential to remember the importance of subtlety and respect. Do not mechanically copy gestures. As you change your physiology to match and mirror others ensure that you make any change gradually and imperceptibly. Match only some of the gestures, not all of them.

AIM TO MATCH 50-70% OF THE OTHER PERSON’S BODY LANGUAGE, GESTURES AND MANNERISMS.

Calibration Calibration is simply the ability to ‘tune into’ your client and what level of energy, conversational pace, movement and attitude they are choosing to operate at that moment. When you match and mirror your client, you will constantly calibrate the nuances of these aspects, and adjust your own energy, conversational pace, movement and attitude to match your client.

When you establish rapport the other person will have a good feeling inside about you and will feel as though they have known you for a longer time. Their face may flush or change colour slightly and they will also subconsciously start to match and mirror your movements. In learning the skill of matching and mirroring, it is important to recognise that mis-matching and/or mis-mirroring will break rapport. THERE ARE 4 MAIN INDICATORS TO ASCERTAIN THAT RAPPORT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED: □ You will notice in your client (perhaps in yourself) a change of colour, or flushing. □ You will have a feeling inside □ Something will be said (for example, “Do I know you from somewhere else?”) □ When you move your client will follow you (this is called leading)

Matching This is when the person you’re with moves and you move in unison, using the exact same limbs. So if your buyer lifts their right arm, you will lift your right arm, a moment later, in the same way, at the same speed.

Mirroring This is when the person you’re with moves and you move in unison, using the opposite limb. So if your buyer lifts their right arm, you will lift your left arm, creating an exact mirror of their gesture, as if they were in a mirror. Matching causes light rapport. Mirroring brings on deeper rapport.

Pacing Pacing and leading is used to test rapport and used to effect transformation once rapport is established. Pacing is matching and mirroring the behaviours and the leading is moving the other person forward or towards something. Pacing is what you do throughout the conversation. As they move, and the speed they move, you match and mirror. This causes them to feel that you ‘get them’ and they are connected to you. It’s helpful if this is, in fact, true. Integrity is probably a good thing to have, right? Then what you do, as the conversation progresses, you begin to get them to pace to you. This is called leading…

Leading This is where, when you say something, they follow your lead. Or you move an arm, and they move their arm as if following you. When you lead, and they follow, you’ve achieved a deep level of rapport. This is where your words become their thoughts. So this should occur ideally around step number 3 in the Ultimate Influence steps. You’ve got rapport, you’ve build their dreams with them and learned about them, as you’re matching, mirroring and pacing their experience. Now, you can lead, and ask if they’ve seen your web site, or seen the success stories… If they go to that part of the conversation happily and willingly, you have great rapport. If they’re not into it, you don’t. Back up. Reverse. Quit moving forward like a bulldozer on remote control. Calibrate them, take the hint, slow down. They’re not with you, so why would you keep going? Go back into the Build and keep learning about them. You’re probably acting like an interrogator, so they’re not that into you. Or you’re not asking questions that turn them on, so they’re not that into you. And until they’re into you, they’re not moving to the next step.

Physiology BODY POSTURE AND MOVEMENT People who get on well together tend to adopt the same body posture when communicating. They use similar gestures and mannerisms. LOOK FOR THINGS LIKE: □ Body posture and position □ Leg position □ The angle they rest their body □ Repeated patterns of movement with hands or feet □ Pace at which they drink

Voice TONE, SPEED OF SPEECH, OTHER VOICE CHARACTERISTICS NOTICE THE: □ Tempo □ Volume □ Pitch □ Tone □ Rhythm □ Phrases and timbre they use.

Language and Thinking Style CHOICE OF WORDS Use language to reflect their thinking style and to help you understand where the other person is coming from. Representational systems (covered later in this course) should also be matched.

Beliefs and Values WHAT PEOPLE HOLD TRUE AND IMPORTANT Match the other person’s values and beliefs by showing an acknowledgement of them. For example, if someone values time, then a comment that would be appropriate would be, ‘I wouldn’t want to waste your time,’ or ‘How can we make best use of this time?’

Experience FINDING COMMON GROUND Establish common ground in interests and activities. This applies even to simple observation such as the weather or the traffic.

WHAT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE RESPONSES TO THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS? □ I like sunny days □ It’s warm today □ I always make my decisions quickly □ I learnt computers at school □ I am married

Breathing As you develop your sensory acuity you will notice that we even breathe in different ways. Matching breathing patterns is a subtle way of building rapport.

LANGUAGE AS WELL AS MATCHING THE GESTURES AND MOVEMENTS OUR BUYER MAKES (WHERE APPROPRIATE), WE’RE ALSO GOING TO WANT TO MATCH SOME LANGUAGE THEY’VE GOT GOING ON.

Some people, when they’re thinking, make a sound… Hmmm. Match them, exactly. Often, they’ll match your ‘hmmm’, with another ‘hmmm’. Awesome. They’ll also have slang they use. Match that. As long as it’s within the reach of you and how you would naturally speak. If it’s not, leave it, and don’t do it. You’ll look silly. Which is fine, when planned. The other bits to notice is some language triggers they use. Some people speak with a preference for how things look. We call this, ‘visual’. This is also indicated, generally, by someone sitting upright, being well groomed, speaking quickly and breathing shallowly. Some people speak with a preference for how things sound. We call this, ‘auditory’. This is also indicated, generally, by someone sitting comfortably, speaking with resonance, listening intently and breathing in the middle of their chest. Some people speak with a preference for how things feel. We call this, ‘kinaesthetic’. This is also indicated, generally, by someone being relaxed, wearing flowing, comfortable clothes, speaking slowly and breathing deeply. Some people speak with a preference for how things seem. We call this, ‘auditory digital’. This is indicated, generally, by someone being uptight, formal, factual, organised, linear in their thinking and processing in their heads more than they speak. There are words which people use which give us the indicators of how they prefer to experience their world.

BY KNOWING WHAT TO LISTEN FOR, WE CAN TUNE INTO THEIR ‘RADIO BAND WIDTH’ AND MATCH THEM.

Language Preferences Every day we interact and build relationships with everyone we meet. Have you ever considered why it that you just ‘click’ with some people and others you just don’t and why we, ourselves, think and act in a certain way? It all comes down to our own internal representational system: which means how we represent the world using our senses. We have the following senses to rely on when processing information:



What we see



Visual modality



What we hear



Auditory modality



What we smell



Olfactory



What we sense/feel



Kinaesthetic modality



What we taste



Gustatory



What we tell ourselves



Auditory Digital

We use our visual, auditory and kinaesethetic modalities most often when making sense of our world. For example; we will feel what is good (K), we will see what you mean (V) or we will hear a bell ringing (A) when something clicks. Some people are primarily auditory digital, which means that they want to know how something works (AD). We use a combination of these modalities when communicating with ourselves and others. There are primary modalities (senses) that influence how we learn and how we experience the world around us. Understanding these modalities enables us to understand how we process information and also to understand how others are interpreting the world around them and what they are experiencing. Modalities are also sometimes called representational systems.

THE THREE CORE SENSORY PREFERENCES (‘MODALITIES’) ARE: 

Visual (V)

sight



Auditory (A)

sound



Kinesthetic (K)

touch

Modalities are important for building rapport and understanding the true identity of others. Later in the course we will cover the essential role that modalities play in creating transformation.

Visual People See the world by constructing or remembering mental images. They respond to what they see either in their minds or in reality. They ‘see’ what you mean. A visual person will often use words like (and respond best to words) like:  See

 Focus

 Paint a picture

 Look

 Show

 Naked eye

 Illuminate

 Flash

 Murky

 Gaze

 Dawn

 Glimpse

 Watchful

 Reveal

 Brilliant

 Picture

 Imagine

 Go blank

 View

 Hazy

 Lacklustre

 Clear

 An eyeful

 Snap shot

 Bright

 Short sighted

 Dim

 Observe

 Sight for sore eyes

 Looks good to me

 Focussed

 Take a peek

 Foggy

 Colour

 Tunnel vision

 Watch

 Bird’s eye view

People who are visual often stand or sit with their hands and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They will be breathing from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well groomed and orderly. They memorize by seeing pictures, and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your program LOOKS. Appearances are important to them. They are often thin and wiry.

Auditory People Listen to the world around them by constructing their thoughts and feelings based on what they hear. They tell themselves what’s happening, or how to interpret an event. They ‘hear’ you. An auditory person will often use words like (and respond best to words) like:  Voiced as an opinion

 Mute

 Amplify

 Loud

 Quiet

 Clear as a bell

 Babble

 Announce

 Loud and clear

 Talk over

 Harmonise

 Purrs like a kitten

 Sniff

 Tune out

 On another note

 Recall

 Rings a bell

 Accent

 Roar

 Quiet as a mouse

 Jingle

 Melody

 That clicks

 Discord

 Make music

 Hear

 I hear you

 Be all ears

 Tell

 Sound

 Call

 Hush

 Resonate

 Say

 It rings a bell

 Listen

 Clash

 Squeak

 Silence

 Deaf

People who are auditory will move their eyes sideways (remember Richard Nixon?). They breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves, and are easily distracted by noise. (Some even move their lips when they talk to themselves.) They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening, and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorize by steps, procedures, and sequences (sequentially). The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they’re doing and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be interested in what you have to say about your program.

Kinaesthetic People Feel the world around them. They interpret their world through physical contact and feelings. They will have ‘gut feelings’. They will sense or get what you mean. A kinaesthetic person will often use words like (and respond best to words) like:  Grasp

 Make contact

 Firm

 Feel

 Get in touch

 Slip through

 Concrete

 Firm foundation

 Slimy

 Scrape

 Hang in there

 Catch

 Solid

 Get to grip

 Smooth

 Touch

 Warm

 Tight

 Get hold of

 Rub

 Soft

 Catch on

 Sticky

 Tough

 Tap into

 Pressure

 Sharp

 Heated argument

 Handle

 Bounce

 Pull some strings

 Texture

 Stumble

 Smooth operator

 Heavy

People who are kinesthetic will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk verrrrry slooooowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person. They memorize by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in your program if it ‘feels right’.

Auditory Digital This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your program ‘makes sense’. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems. Auditory digital will be covered in more detail in the business of coaching module. AD Language  Need…

 Methodologies

 Systems analysis…

 I’m certain…  I think…

 Accurate representation…

 Identifiable issues…

 This is accurate…

 KPI’s

 Constructed

 This needs clarity…

 Foreseeable issues…

 Capabilities

 Direction

 System-wide…

 Overhaul of systems…

 Compounding  Data

 Synergistic relationships…

 Projections

 Progression

 ROI

 Good sense

 Process of

 Outcome

 Thinking logically…

 Everything considered…

 Procedures

 Results driven strategies…

Eye Patterns This is interesting. People look in a certain location when they access certain thoughts. We look up to visualise. We look to the side to listen. We look down to access feelings. We look down to access thoughts. And it gets more specific than that. We look up and to our right (and my left as I watch you) to construct something we want to see. We look up and to our left (and my right as I watch you) to remember something weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen. We look to our right to construct a sound. We look to our left as we remember a sound. We look down and to our left as we think about something or try to make sense of something. We look down and to our right as we get in touch with how something makes us feel.

As you look at the person

= Visual Constructed

= Visual Remembered

= Auditory Constructed

= Auditory Remembered

= Kinesthetic (Feelings)

= Auditory Digital (Self-talk)

Wait for Their Positive Indicators How many times have you been a store trying some clothes on, and you hear: ‘That really looks good on you’. It seems it’s the standard line, and so it’s stopped having any meaning. We disregard their comments, and have to seek confirmation on how hot we look from someone else. For your buyer, if we say it, it’s unlikely to be true, and if they say it, it’s true. So we have to ensure that they say what needs to be said about their buying decision, if they are to buy, and not feel (quite rightly) that they’ve been sold to. Be genuinely interested in the buyer. We cover in the Ultimate Influence Eight Steps that one of the most important steps is discovering what they care about and what they want. As well as this, wait for positive indicators from the buyer. When they seem enthusiastic, ask them to tell you, ‘How come’, so that they tell you why it’s a good fit for them. When you get a positive indicator, don’t rush in and confirm their view with praise and reassurance. It turns them off and creates a bigger space between you.

The Body Bob Very simply, when they’re talking, occasionally bob up and down a little. It creates a positive feeling in the room.

LISTENING SKILLS MOST PEOPLE LISTEN SO THEY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. WE NEED TO LISTEN TO OUR BUYER TO TRULY UNDERSTAND.

It’s not about having something to say, it’s about understanding the person you’re listening to. If you understand them, and make the effort to do this, you show you care about them as a person. This matters more than saying any cool scripted sales line. You need to listen to understand. And then, when you understand, you respond with relevance to what they said. You don’t say the cool thing you want to say, because you think it will help you ‘make your sale’. You say what is relevant to your buyer and has meaning to them. If they respond with warm agreement, you did it. To be listened to and heard is a striking experience. This is partly because it happens so rarely. People get ‘bigger’ when they are being listened to; they have more presence. They feel safer, more secure and they begin to trust. Most people assume that they are great listeners. What most of us don’t realise is that it takes a conscious effort to be an outstanding listener. Outstanding listening is more than nodding and agreeing. In fact, it can sometimes mean doing the exact opposite! Listening effectively means getting ourselves out of the way, so that we hear exactly what is said, without making assumptions and interpretations about its meaning. This is challenging, because we are trained over the years to make jumps in reasoning about what someone means as a way to ‘fast-track’ a conversation. ‘standard’ listening is what most of us engage in.

Effective Listening Skills EFFECTIVE LISTENERS □ Concentrates on the speaker □ Responds to what the speaker has said □ Makes a response that is relevant to what the speaker has said □ Asks questions to check their understanding □ Makes comments (and agreement) without interrupting the speaker □ Makes notes if needs to □ Evaluates what they are hearing □ Remains alert through good body language (posture particularly) □ Allows the speaker’s conversation to flow

INEFFECTIVE LISTENERS □ Are preoccupied with self or other things □ Appear disinterested □ Concentrate more on how they will respond, rather than what is being said □ Lack of concentration in speaking □ Often repeatedly respond with: ‘yes’, ‘yes’, ‘yes’, or ‘okay’.. □ Do not check understanding □ Speak and/or interrupt

The Benefits of ‘Getting Out of the Way’ When we ‘get out of the way’ of what is being said, we clear the space for our buyer to fill. This empowers them, builds trust and enables them to explore what is really on their minds. Getting out of the way means we suspend judgement and opinion. It means that we listen to understand, not to offer advice. We listen to learn what our buyer’s perceived reality is.

BEING PRESENT INCLUDES – □ Great eye contact □ Staying still □ Nodding to encourage □ Mirroring/matching □ Being curious □ Active listening

HOW CAN WE BE PRESENT? □ Listen generously □ Listen for patterns and meaning □ Listen without judgment □ Listen without assumptions

WAYS OF RESPONDING WHICH DEMONSTRATE THAT WE ARE BEING PRESENT □ Thank you… □ That seems important to you… □ Hmmm… □ Tell me more… □ What else? □ With silence ****

How to Listen Listen generously This requires much focus and attention. You need to be completely open to hearing whatever your buyer may bring.

1. Focus completely on your buyer If you notice yourself drifting, then bring your mind and focus back to them. When they know you are listening completely, they feel acknowledged and valued.

2. Listen with empathy Regardless of how you would do things in their situation, it is important that you recognise that this is their experience.

3. Listen without interrupting Don’t finish your buyer’s sentence for them. Let them come to their own conclusions – if you tell them how to think, they will reject whatever you suggest.

Listen for patterns Everyone does what they do because on some level it is working for them. Your job as a consultant is to listen for these patterns in behaviour and choices. □ NOTICE IF THEY RESPOND TO CERTAIN EVENTS IN A SIMILAR WAY, AND SHARE THIS WITH THEM For example: I notice you seem to really value… Hmmm… XXX seems to matter here for you… □ NOTICE ANY BELIEFS THAT SEEM TO RECUR I hear how important that is to you… That’s a belief that seems to be working for you… □ LISTEN BEYOND THE WORDS TO THE MEANING BEHIND THEM…

Being careful to not make assumptions about what they could mean □ LISTEN FOR WHAT LEVEL OF THINKING THEY ARE, INCLUDING: Level of Thinking DISC ESIP Six Core Needs

Listen without judgement Your buyer has a Bullshit Detector. If you show judgment, and this includes just holding your breath or pausing in an unusual place, they will know. Avoid reacting emotionally or with your opinions. This is not about you.

Listen without assumptions We miss what the buyer really means when we put their words through our own filter of assumptions. Assumptions are used all the time in the ‘real world’ to fast track communication, but in sales this will derail the process of decision making for your buyer. □ Don’t listen from your own experience – remove any beliefs you may have about how someone may make a choice or act □ Only repeat back what you hear, not what you think it means

COMMAND TONALITY There is a tone to use which will cause your buyer to have more confidence in you. This tone commands the listener to agree, or to at least not question, what is said.

THE COMMAND TONALITY: □ You say a question, but without the questioning tone at the end □ Your tone does not go up at the end, but stays flat, as if it’s a statement you’re delivering

THE QUESTIONING TONALITY: □ This is where your voice does go up at the end □ It creates doubt and uncertainty in the listener

SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS There are social norms and expectations which play out, in practically all settings. Even in the situation where your buyer is going to make a decision, they will run automatically along the social norm tracks, without question. Ensuring these social norms are observed early in the conversation and the relationship will ensure that when it comes to the buyer making the buying decision, they will follow through and keep their commitment, even where they are afraid of commitment.

SOCIAL NORMS THAT ARE IMPORTANT IN THE BUYING SITUATION: □ Saying thank you □ Saying please □ Nodding when listening □ Being on time for appointments □ Sending thank you notes □ Doing what you said you’d do □ Thanking the buyer when they do what they said they will do

All of these small touches add up to a social contract, so that when it comes to the buying decision, the buyer will honour the social contract and do what they said they’d do.

BREAK STATES Your buyer is in a ‘trance’ of their life. They go through the motions, and expect or insist on certain things happening a certain way. They expect people to respond a certain way to them, when they say certain things. When they share something they’ve done that they’re proud of, they expect enthusiastic acknowledgement.

SO BE UNDERSTATED WITH YOUR COMMENTS. DON’T BE JUBILANT. BE KIND OF… UNDERWHELMED.

This is a ‘break state’. They’re not expecting this response. It will get their attention. When they have a conversation, they expect there to be lots to say. So occasionally, let there be silence. Let them have to fill the silence. Let them carry the conversation. This ‘break state’ causes them to realise this isn’t like any normal conversation they’re used to having.

OTHER WAYS TO ACHIEVE THIS: □ Start a sentence with now… It causes the mind of the listener to be focused □ Start a sentence with you can’t… This one will awaken the mismatcher in your buyer. They’ll immediately think what can’t I do? Don’t tell me what I can’t do… And then you finish the sentence with: You can’t fail to progress when you are that focused…

COLLABORATING WITH YOUR BUYER When you really are into your clients, you want to work with them to make it happen. It makes the conversation more awesome, it’s more fun and they enjoy the process, too.

PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO BE SOLD TO. THEY WANT TO BUY.

To do that, they have to be a part of the process, with you. Seek out their opinions. Ask for their thoughts on areas of importance that affect them. Don’t be afraid of asking them what they think. If they don’t voice an objection, you can’t deal with it. They’ll think the objection, and not share it, and go away to ‘think about it’, and not buy. You never win by trying to shut down objections, thoughts and ideas. You drive them away. Welcome their input. Where you think it works, tell them. Say: I like your thinking. Don’t be wary of them. They’re facing making a decision. People loath making decisions. People go to great lengths avoiding making decisions, for as long as they can. We have people who have finally joined us after eight years of procrastination. This is normal human behaviour. Don’t add to this behaviour by avoiding including them in the discussion. They are the reason for the discussion, after all. Be fun to be with. Enjoy learning about them. Be open with them. Express your feelings and thoughts (briefly) and with the truth. Don’t bullshit them, exaggerate to them, underplay flaws to them or in any way attempt to be ‘that sales person’ that none of us appreciate. Be cool. Be upfront about your thoughts. When they ask: Do you think I can do this? Do not say: Of course you can!

You don’t know that. You don’t know their capabilities, or their issues. You’ve just completely blown them off, to try to make the sale. There is no collaboration, there, just selling. It’s yucky and they can smell the bullshit.

SAY INSTEAD: I DON’T KNOW. AND SHUT UP.

Let them figure out for themselves how they’re going to go. If you have to say something, say the truth: I don’t know how you’ll go. You might bomb. You may succeed. You may be somewhere between those two. How can we know, for sure, unless it comes from you? It would be ignorant and arrogant of me to tell you what you’re capable of. This is far more honest than reassuring them.

YOU’RE SHOWING THEM YOU’RE WITH THEM ON THIS, HOWEVER IT MAY GO.

NOTES

MODEL OF THE WORLD I SEE PROFESSIONAL SALES PEOPLE CONSTANTLY MAKE THE MISTAKE OF DRIVING THEIR DESIRED OUTCOME ONTO YOUR BUYER, AND IGNORING WHAT YOUR BUYER IS ‘TELLING THEM’ ABOUT WHAT THEY PREFER.

There are two types of people in the world – the people who see things through their own perspective – they constantly make less sales. And the people who are able to see the world through the eyes of their buyers – they constantly make more sales, because they ‘get’ their buyers. Think about a sales situation you’ve been in, as the buyer. The sales person is opinionated, tells you what to think… ‘These colours really work and are what everyone wants’… and leave you with nothing to do but agree or disagree with them. There’s no emotional buy-in or feelings of goodwill. You feel spoken to and spoken at, and know you could be anybody standing there, and the conversation would go exactly the same way. Or this scenario – you’re a buyer and the sales person tries the ‘cause you pain’ technique by heaping on questions about what it will cost you if you don’t buy their widget. Yuk. Compare this to the sales situation you’ve been in, as the buyer, and the sales person seems to be interested in your opinions. They ask you questions about you that are interesting, and there seems to be a sharing of ideas. It’s as if there’s a collaboration, not a sales conversation.

THE DECISION IS SEEMINGLY MADE TOGETHER. YOU BUY-IN TO THE DECISION, BECAUSE YOU FEEL IT’S YOURS.

Understanding Models of the World The world is ‘reality’, but we don’t see reality. We see ourselves, projected onto the world. What we see is a ‘model of the world’ or ‘map of the world’, but we never see the world as it is, we only see it based on our map. Look at the city or place you live in. Look out the window. That’s the place you live. What we have to do to experience that place is see it with our minds. It becomes a representation of that reality in our thoughts.

That re-presentation is not the place itself. It can’t be. It’s in our mind. It becomes our version of that place. The moment it becomes a version of reality, it stops being reality and becomes our interpretation of reality. So we don’t experience the world. We can only experience our version of our world. People have different ‘models of the world’. Everyone sees the world through their own minds, in their own way. We don’t see the world the way it is, we see it based on who we are. We are incapable of seeing the world accurately. We can only see our version of ‘reality’ which is made up of a number of filters which determine what we think is true or not.

Based on these filters, which we’ll go into in a moment, we make two decisions all the time 1.

HOW WE SEE THE WORLD

HOW WE THINK THE WORLD SEES US

If we continue with the example of where you live, think of this. You’re standing looking out the window with a friend. Your friend hates nature, prefers the city, is afraid of bugs and snakes and is sensitive to the sun. You love the outdoors, love hiking and only feel really alive when you’re with nature. And the view you’re both sharing is of a hiking trail surrounded with trees. Your friend will respond one way to the view, and you will respond another way. Neither of you are responding to what you’re seeing. You’re responding to what you think of what you’re seeing. You both walk a few metres along the hiking trail. Your friend is miserable. Every imagined itch is met with force – your friend is slapping at their neck, looking nervously around them, and is only stepping forward when they have checked for snakes. They squeal every few moments because something touched them. You, on the other hand, find yourself striding along, in your element, loving every second (except for the annoying squealing sounds coming from your friend) and can’t get into the forest fast enough. You see something in the grass and simply step around it. It’s part of nature, and you love it all. You both continue a few more metres and your friend begins to look teary, and is clearly distraught.

You suppress your impatience, and ask them what’s wrong. They’re too upset to speak. It’s agreed that they should return to the ‘safety’ of the house whilst you continue to hike. It occurs to you, as you keep walking, that they had seen the snake. You didn’t mention it. Why would you? You figured they’d only get hysterical, anyway. Enough with the drama, already. You think they’re really weird. You decide you won’t be hanging out with them quite as much in the future, because they’re kinda lame. They head home, resolved to never agree to such a hair-brained scheme again. Which version of this is accurate? You were both were in the same place at the same time, apparently experiencing the same thing. But you weren’t. Not even remotely. You experienced your version of reality. Your friend experienced theirs.

We don’t experience reality, we experience our own version of it.

Now let’s go further. Because of this incredibly traumatic event, your friend commits to never go to remote areas again. It’s just too dangerous. Because of that decision, they frown on people who do go out to dangerous places, and find themselves, perhaps a little unconsciously, shying away from people ‘like that’. They just don’t get it, they decide. They’re all mad. Especially those people who go out to the bush to save it. What’s that about? Crazy… So now some views about conservation of forests are being formed. It’s not really that important. After all, there’s still plenty there. It’s not like it’s doing anything, just sitting there. Besides, I like the idea of the stocks I buy going up in value, so I’m buying stocks where I know they can still get timber. Makes sense to me. And whilst we’re at it, what’s with that Palm Oil nonsense? I’d never go to Indonesia. The place has snakes, bugs, spiders the size of houses…. And so it goes… one experience forms a view which forms a view which grows into the personality of your friend.

Until you catch up with them a few years later and think they’re a jerk. It’s not like you have anything in common. And they were really unimpressed with how you didn’t tell them about that snake… What’s the big deal? Couldn’t they see they were over reacting? What is it with some people? Your friend has formed their views on how they see the world. You have formed yours. You’ve both also decided how people from that part of the world see you. Now, what gets interesting is what we do with this. We now seek out, without even knowing it, people who have formed similar world views. Because we are with people who see the world in a similar way to us, we get our worldview confirmed. Because we get our world view confirmed, we don’t have to question it. We see it as ‘reality’. When people bump up against this world view and share a different view, we find it easy to reject them, because of their views. So we don’t get alternative views, which perpetuates our views. Now, the next part of this is our capacity to see things through our own eyes, and our capacity to see things through the eyes of others. Everyone thinks they do this. Everyone believes they are good at seeing things from someone else’s side. Most people are not even close to doing this well. We’re so busy taking care of all our own opinions, views, beliefs and ideas that we project them onto others. We assume, for simplicity, that most people have our views. It’s too hard to consider all the potential opinions out there, so we shortcut the whole thing and project ourselves onto the world, and call that ‘the world’. Then someone talks with us, and has a different view. We correct them. We point out our own view. We share a different insight. We don’t hear what they’re trying to share. We don’t listen intently to what they are telling us they think is true about the world. And because of that, the sale just got lost. The key to being effective at sales is to know that when your buyer shares information, they are telling you what they care about. If they tell you they’ve made mistakes in the past, they’re telling you they’re afraid of making mistakes in the future. If they sound hesitant, they’re telling you they reflect on what’s being said, and need space. If they don’t laugh easily, respect that and don’t try to make them laugh like you think people should. If they have a quiet energy, go with it. Don’t try to ‘make them’ outgoing.

If they have an outgoing energy, don’t take over by being just as outgoing; they’re telling you they want the limelight, so let them have it and be a little quieter than them. In this module we’re going to uncover what people are really telling you, and how to respond to cause a deep connection with them, and a desire within them to buy from you, because you get them.

EACH OF THESE MODELS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOUR GIVE US A STRUCTURE BY WHICH TO PINPOINT WHERE YOUR BUYER IS IN THEIR THINKING.

By understanding these models, or ‘structures of thinking’ we are better able to gauge how close (or far away) someone is from saying ‘yes’. Each model gives us an interpretation of someone’s thinking. We hear them say a sentence, but instead of just responding to the words, we decode the sentence in terms of these models, and we respond to the level of thinking they’re sharing with us. If someone tells us, ‘I’m not interested in messing about. I want to get what I want’, we’ve heard the words, and perhaps can ascertain something about their intention. But with Ultimate Influence, we go one step further and match the sentence to the models, to give us insight into their motivations and choices. By doing this, we can craft responses far more relevant to your buyer. We will be able to match the meaning they give to their world, which is far more powerful than simply matching their words. Everyone is looking to be understood. By responding to the words we are understanding the person to some extent. If we can respond with relevance to their intention, we’ve gone further. But, if we can respond with relevance to their ‘map of the world’ we are really entering their world.

THEY WILL FEEL THAT YOU KNOW THEM TO THE CORE. THEY WILL SEE THAT THERE’S NO POINT IN HIDING, OR PLAYING GAMES, BECAUSE YOU ‘SEE’ THEIR TRUTH.

CREATING THE SPACE THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS WE’LL HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO SALES.

There is this invisible circle between you and your buyer. Whoever steps into the circle, is the person who is buying. If you step into this circle, your buyer isn’t buying. If your buyer steps into the circle, they’re buying.

Your job is to get them all the way into the circle, so they come all the way across it, to you, and shake your hand (metaphorically). Unless they do that, they are not emotionally committed and ‘all in’, but on the sidelines of the circle. The ‘circle’ is this invisible space between me and your buyer, which allows us to feel safe, that we’re ‘just exploring’, and which allows the level of trust we have to be established. As trust is established, your buyer can move closer, step into the circle, and even, eventually, shrink the circle so you’re standing together with no gap between you. Your goal is to let them shrink the circle. You can expand it, by being bad at what you do. They can shrink it, as they accept you can be trusted.

HOW TO EXPAND THE CIRCLE AND CREATE MORE SPACE BETWEEN YOU, SO IT’S HARDER TO CLOSE THEM:  Talk a lot  Tell them what to think  Convince them your Thing of Awesomeness is awesome  Correct them  Interrupt them  Have them say something and then respond with something irrelevant  Don’t ask questions about them as a person

HOW TO LET THEM SHRINK THE CIRCLE SO THEY’RE WITH YOU AND WANT TO BUY: □ Talk only when necessary □ Ask them what they think □ Let them tell you why your Thing of Awesomeness is awesome □ Say, ‘Hmmm…’ when they express a strong opinion and acknowledge their conviction □ Listen respectfully and with genuine interest □ Have them say something and then respond with relevance □ Ask questions about them as a person

THE LAW OF CONSISTENCY THIS IS THE GAME, RIGHT HERE.

The Law of Consistency was first spoken about, SO well, by Robert Cialdini in his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. If you haven’t devoured, studied and memorised parts of that book, do so. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

The Law of Consistency states that the strongest force in the human personality is the need to remain consistent with how we define ourselves.

We will do anything to remain consistent with how we present ourselves to the world. I cannot emphasise enough how much you need to understand and embrace this. If we agree in a conversation that pursuit of money is evil, we will, later when asked, turn down an opportunity to make money. If we agree that it’s important to make money so we can pursue helping our family, we will, later when asked, accept the opportunity to do exactly that. Whatever we agree with, we will then behave in a way that is consistent with that belief. During the conversation with your buyer, you MUST have them agree with a certain set of beliefs, values and ideas for them to buy. If you don’t do this, the buying process will become difficult and time-consuming. It will be bogged down in facts and logic. It will be a soulless, fun-less exercise in futility. It will be boring for everyone. The dance is in this section. Also, read the section on Cognitive Dissonance. Throughout your conversation, give comments and statements to your buyer for them to agree with. The more they agree to these statements, the closer they are moving themselves to the ‘yes’. It’s inevitable. If they agree to the following statements, they will have to join your Thing of Awesomeness, or be a liar. And most people would die of shame at being found out, even by themselves, to be a liar.

You sound like you like to make things happen... That’s great. So many people never take the time to say yes to themselves... Hmmm... sounds like you’ve thought about that... At the end of the day, it seems like you have a great deal of unused capacity that’s going to be channelled into something even more meaningful and creative. You prefer a little variety, and when corralled by restrictions, limitations or small thinking, you become dissatisfied. You sound like you really value authenticity and straight talking. It sounds a little like you value insights into what makes you tick, and you want some intellectual stimulation, and you have a clear sense of ethics and authenticity. You prefer the more cutting edge ways of getting results, and don’t like the same ole same ole, you’d be bored. You seem to really value making a contribution. There’s always a way, huh. It’s all about making that contribution. It’s all about making a difference. It’s all about having that sense of purpose. It’s never about the money, is it? People always find the money for what matters…

THE MORE LITTLE ‘YES’S’ WE GET, THE EASIER THE BIGGER ‘YES’ IS AT THE END IF YOU GET RESISTANCE, GO OFF TRACK AND GET EASY UNRELATED ‘YES’S’

YOU SAY:

It’s about making a difference and contributing to something greater than ourselves, don’t you think?

YOU SAY:

It’s about really tapping into the full potential within us, so we can make a difference, wouldn’t you agree?

If you don’t do this, you’re wasting their time and you own time... if you don’t ask questions, they will not be able to commit to you, because you have shown no interest in them or asked them to make small commitments, so how can they make the big commitment of joining?

So you enjoy people... I’m hearing a real commitment there to you being your best... For you it’s about growth, isn’t it... So you like the idea of multiple sources of income... We can all take ourselves to the next level of success… We can always find the next level to make a difference, can’t we... I find it puzzling that so many people know they need to act, but don’t... I’m always amazed by people who hold themselves back... We get the best people to join our programs... people who are really good people, you know? I don’t know what I did before this stuff... I mean, it should be in schools, yeah? I’m doing the stuff that is going to help me grow, that’s where the fulfilment is, wouldn’t you agree?

AND YOU NEED THEM TO SAY YES TO LOTS OF THESE STATEMENTS, ALL THE WAY THROUGH, CONSTANTLY… I’M AMAZED WHEN PEOPLE DON’T DO THIS… IT’S LIKE THEY’RE SABOTAGING THEMSELVES BEFORE THEY EVEN GET STARTED… CRAZY, HUH?

YOUR BUYER: So is this accredited? YOU:

Yes...

AND YOU DON’T LEAVE IT THERE OR YOU’RE AN INFO BOOTH...

YOU:

Is accreditation important to you...

YOUR BUYER: YES!!!

That’s the magic word you want to hear. You must hear, ‘yes’ to know that the Law of Consistency statement has been delivered and received.

YOUR BUYER: Is there any face-to-face training? YOU:

Yes, there is – more than any other school...

AND YOU DON’T LEAVE IT THERE OR YOU’RE AN INFO BOOTH...

YOU:

Is being in the room with the experts and learning in real time important to you...”

THEY SAY:

YES!!!

WHAT PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF THERE ARE UNIVERSAL FEARS YOUR BUYER WILL BRING TO THE CALL, REGARDLESS OF HOW ‘TOGETHER’ THEY SEEM.

YOUR BUYER IS FEARFUL OF: 1.

You

Making a mistake

Being made a fool

Letting themselves down

Not belonging

Not being significant

How to Manage this 1.

YOU: □ Be understated □ Don’t be overly enthusiastic □ Don’t rush to fill silences □ Don’t rush to reassure

MAKING A MISTAKE: □ Match them where they’re at □ Acknowledge concerns □ Ask them what there is to think about whilst talking with you

BEING MADE A FOOL: □ Be understated □ Be respectful of their concerns □ Be willing to send them away if they’re too sceptical

LETTING THEMSELVES DOWN (AGAIN): □ Ask how this time will be different □ Ask them to solve the problem of what this will take to succeed □ Ask them if they will ask for help when they need it

NOT BELONGING: □ Say: Sometimes doing it alone gets old… □ Say: Too many people think they have something to prove, and find it’s hard to reinvent a perfectly good wheel…

NOT BEING SIGNIFICANT: □ Say: This matters, doesn’t it? when they share something significant □ Say: So many people play a small game. That gets old, I won’t do that.

SECRET VERSUS ADMITTED DESIRES NO MATTER WHAT LOGICAL REASON SOMEONE GIVES FOR WANTING TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT YOUR THING OF AWESOMENESS, WHAT THEY’RE REALLY DOING, IS LOOKING TO FIND THE THING THAT WILL CAUSE THEM TO FEEL A CERTAIN WAY, WHICH RIGHT NOW IS MISSING.

THEY ARE LOOKING TO FEEL: □ That they belong/certainty/connected □ That they matter/significance/prestige □ That they make a difference/they are influential

No matter what they tell you is their reason for inquiring, it’s not, unless it’s one or more of those three reasons. And no one ever says it’s because of one of those three reasons. These ‘secret’ desires are universal, always there and we’re always checking to see how we’re doing in each of these three areas. We will buy whatever we believe will help us feel the way we want to feel the most. We will reject whatever will not help us feel that way. And as the sales consultant, we can rarely talk about this directly. We need to let them know that these desires will be met, but not in an uncool, ‘Yes, you’ll finally have friends and feel great about yourself’ way.

Belonging THIS CAN TAKE THE FORM OF:  Wanting to know they’re not alone  Wanting to be part of a group of likeminded people  Feeling isolated and misunderstood

How to communicate that this secret desire is going to be met, without saying directly to your buyer, ‘You’re not alone’. □ I think having a community of like-minded people around me has made a real difference to my focus □ Sometimes I see people trying to do it all alone, and I wonder if they realise how tough they’re making it for themselves □ Some people are determined to reinvent the wheel. That makes no sense. There’s already people doing this together, sharing their ideas, and making it happen

Significance/they matter THIS CAN TAKE THE FORM OF:  Being a part of something that they perceive as important  Being around people who are doing cool stuff, so that the good feeling rubs off on them – like a sports fan saying, ‘We won!’  Doing something that they feel proud of

How to communicate that this secret desire is going to be met, without saying directly to your buyer, ‘You will matter if you do this’. □ I see too many people wishing things were different, and not doing something about it. It’s that moment of decision when things begin to happen. The people doing that – that’s who I admire □ We’ve got a couple of coaches doing this in the education system □ I think it matters – that first time in a long time when we put ourselves first and say ‘yes’ to ourselves. Not enough people do that. Not enough people are prepared to draw that line in the sand

They make a difference THIS CAN TAKE THE FORM OF:  Being around people who are making a difference  Talking about making a difference  Actually making a difference  Changing nothing, but feeling good because they’re going to make a difference

How to communicate that this secret desire is going to be met, without saying directly to your buyer, ‘You will make a difference, or at least be around people who do’. □ I’m convinced that when we dare to become our potential, it inspires someone else □ Sometimes the best way to make a difference is to start with ourselves □ Until we’re okay with our own success, we’re holding people around us back

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OH MAN, HOW I LOVE THIS CONCEPT. IT’S ALIGNED WITH THE PREVIOUS TWO PSYCHOLOGICAL LAWS WE’VE LOOKED AT, AND DESERVES ITS OWN HEADLINE.

It’s defined in Webster’s Dictionary as: PSYCHOLOGICAL CONFLICT RESULTING FROM INCONGRUOUS BELIEFS AND ATTITUDES HELD SIMULTANEOUSLY. The way I see cognitive dissonance, is it’s when a belief is held that for it to be true, your buyer must act a certain way, or feel the tension of the incongruity between the belief and the lack of action. So you can’t believe two inconsistent things at once, and if you try, your mind will force you to choose one over the other. Also, you can’t hold a belief and not act in a way that’s consistent with that belief. In sales, we’re influencing someone to make a buying decision with us. We want them to convince themselves that purchasing our Thing of Awesomeness will be best for them. To do this, we must ensure that your buyer holds a series of beliefs in their minds which are aligned with making a buying decision with you. For example, someone may have inquired with you, they’ve done other stuff since their opt in with you, and the feeling they had when they opted in has faded. What seemed so important at the time doesn’t seem so important now. What you need to do is ask a series of questions which are designed to cause cognitive dissonance. For example: YOU:

You seem to be someone who likes to make things happen.

YOUR BUYER: I like to think so. DONE. They agree with the belief that they ‘like to make things happen’. And they’re not, when they’re not buying, ‘making things happen’. Cognitive dissonance. Right there. If you go the section on the Law of Consistency, you’ll be able to see many examples of statements you want your buyer to agree with, which once they agree with, will cause cognitive dissonance unless they act in a way that would bring their actions in alignments with the beliefs they’ve agreed describe them.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT, SELF-INTEREST IS ONE OF THE PRIME DRIVERS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOUR. PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, WITHOUT EVEN CONSCIOUSLY THINKING IT, WHAT’S IN IT FOR THEM (WIFM).

When you realise that most people’s default position is self-interest (this is instinctual programming, not a criticism), it’s easier to know how to direct the conversation. We’re covering many ways to understand how people interpret what’s in it for them. If you, for example, offer a program that meets their six core needs, then they’ll buy. If you talk with them at the level of ‘Results’ from the 4R’s Model, and they’re a ‘Reliance’ person, they won’t get what’s in it for them, even though getting results should be their focus, because they’re more into the support and being a part of a group. If you talk to your buyer about the features of your TofA, they will stop listening. They want to know, without knowing they want to know, the benefits and how those benefits will make them feel. And they want to feel that they belong, they matter and they make a difference.

Sentences to use: …so what this means for you is… …because it’s important, we make sure you get that when you join… …it’s not enough to get that, we find the best results will come when you also receive <other cool thing>… I’ll take care of that, so you can focus on… How about I do that, so you’re free to… I think we should make sure that’s in there for you…

When there’s something in it for you, the consultant, you need to find a way to word it so there’s still something in it for them. Take care of their needs, well before you think of taking care of your own

PAIN VERSUS PLEASURE WE DO MORE TO AVOID PAIN, THAN WE WILL DO TO FEEL PLEASURE.

We are risk and pain averse. We would do more to protect what we have (even if we don’t like it, but we’re used to it), than we will to seek something better. We get conditioned to put up with situations. The analogy is the frog in the pot. If you put it in boiling water, it will try to get out straight away. But if you put it in regular temperature water and slowly increase the heat, it will stay there until it dies. When we’re in a situation that starts out okay, and then deteriorates just a little, we compromise and that becomes the new ‘normal’. Then it deteriorates a little more. And we make adjustments. And so on, until we don’t remember the original standard, and this new low standard is the new norm. And even though it doesn’t make us happy or feel good, we stay, because it’s what we’re used to. And we defend it. Because the pain of changing seems greater than the situation we have. Even though the new situation could make us happier, there’s no guarantee, so we stay. The pain of where we are is not as great as the perceived pain of what might happen if we change things. In sales, we have to ensure that the pain of changing is less than the pain of things staying as they are. The old school of sales training was make sure you stirred up their pain of where they’re at. Don’t go that far. It’s done and done and far less effective than letting your buyer come to their own conclusions. For example:

YOUR BUYER: It’s not getting the results we want. YOU: DONE.

How come?

They will answer that question and experience the pain associated with that without you having to ask old school questions.

META DYNAMICS ESIP

THE ‘ESIP’ MODEL IS THE ULTIMATE FRAME IN SALES. IT EXPLAINS WHERE PEOPLE ARE AT IN THE THINKING, WHICH TELLS YOU IF THEY’RE READY TO MAKE A BUYING DECISION.

ESIP STANDS FOR –  Environment  Structure  Implementation  People

These four dimensions to thinking give you indications of their level of thinking, which gives you guidance on where to drive the conversation. These four dimensions should also be studied along with the Four R’s, the Hierarchy of Ideas and the Hierarchy of Language.

Environment – The Environment is the exploration of the world from the perspectives of:  Vision  Values  Beliefs  Mindset/attitude  Standards  Expectations

Structure – The Structure is the exploration of the world from the perspectives of:  Benchmarks of high standards

 KPI’s  Categories of Experience

Implementation – The Implementation is the exploration of the world from the perspective of:  Actions  Steps  Processes we actually do

People – The People is the exploration of the world from the perspective of”  Who will be involved  Who we can assist  Who is included

ALL EXPERIENCE CAN BE INTERPRETED IN TERMS OF LEVELS OF THINKING. If you understand the level of thinking someone is on, you can understand why they’re not making a buying decision, even though you know it would be ideal for them. It can also guide you to how to best serve them to make a great decision. And it can help you assess where they’re going to need help in your program/service/product. This model of thinking forms the basis of all we do at our business, and with our clients. It’s a fundamental thinking model which is content-independent. This means, it doesn’t matter what the subject, the model will work. By being familiar with this model, and how to traverse the levels within it, you (1) Can hear your buyers limits and opportunities for closes; and (2) Can become an expert communicator for them to help them make a difference and make a great decision.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF ESIP LANGUAGE: I love it when we can get clear on where we’re heading with this project. Knowing and understanding why it matters is so important for our success. It means we’ll work together and really learn how to succeed. That’s what I love about this.

And once we’ve got the structure in place, so we know the plan to succeed, we’ll have such clarity. That will mean we’ll be able to work together even better, and more effectively. I love that. And I’m seeing how we’ll get this done. We’ll be able to take action so well. I’m excited to work with you all. LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN FROM AN ESIP PERSPECTIVE:

ENVIRONMENT:

I love it when we can get clear on where we’re heading with this project. Knowing and understanding why it matters is so important for our success. It means we’ll work together and really learn how to succeed. That’s what I love about this.

STRUCTURE:

And once we’ve got the structure in place, so we know the plan to succeed, we’ll have such clarity. That will mean we’ll be able to work together even better, and more effectively. I love that.

IMPLEMENTATION:

And I’m seeing how we’ll get this done. We’ll be able to take action so well.

PEOPLE:

I’m excited to work with you all.

All four dimensions have been addressed, so we know that most people hearing this will feel connected to the message, and included. People love to know WHY it matters, WHAT matters, HOW to do it, and WHO they will do it with. In that order. And for your buyer, if they’re not clear on all four dimensions, the conversation and the decision feel incomplete. Now, we sell programs to many types of people who don’t know clearly why this matters. Their reasons are generally fairly personal, and can even be unconscious. It could be they

don’t like themselves, they don’t believe in themselves, they wish things were better, they wished they weren’t so lonely, they wished they had more significance… Whatever these reasons, no one is phoning us up to become a life coach with any of those reasons why, because they can’t admit they feel so limited personally as they say they want to learn how to help someone else. But they don’t have any other reasons. So what you do in this situation is give them multiple choice reasons that take of that for them. They don’t know how to think beyond, ‘I don’t feel good, must do something’, but know that isn’t going to sound good out loud, but what do they say instead?

YOU:

So what’s your motivation for this? Is it for personal development reasons? To help your career or current role? To connect with positive people? Is it because you want to help people?

THERE’S A COUPLE OF THINGS TO NOTICE GOING ON, HERE

Notice I give them the sequence of choices in ascending order of SIGNIFICANCE. Most people respond with: It’s all of them, really. Of course it is.

The other thing to notice is that I’ve made the last one the one I want them to remember. By giving them this list, the idea you give them last will be the one that stays and becomes the most significant.

This becomes useful in the conversation, because by agreeing they want to make a difference to others, they have committed themselves. They have gone out on the limb and agreed they want to help people. They aren’t doing that currently, which means they have to do something. They’re talking to us, in this example, about coaching training. We help people. And we teach people how to help people. They are not going to be able to reject joining us because we don’t do that. So, they’ve agreed it’s to help people. They can’t say later, I don’t really want to help people. We teach people how to help people. Therefore they have to consider joining us.

ALL OF THIS HAS BEEN ACHIEVED WITH ONE MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION IN THE WHY FRAME – ENVIRONMENT, IN THE META DYNAMICS ESIP FRAMEWORK. WE’RE GOING TO REPEAT THIS FOR ALL THE LEVELS.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF IT BEING DONE IN THE LEVEL OF STRUCTURE. YOU:

So, it sounds like we’re going to need to assist you with putting the steps in place so this passion to make a difference can be brought to life…

FOR THE IMPLEMENTATION LEVEL CONVERSATION, WHICH IS WHERE MOST PROBLEMS OCCUR… YOU:

Leave the details of how this works to us. That’s our job. That’s what we do.

The word ‘job’ has just been used. Notice how it’s OUR job, not their job? No one wants a job. They want a result. We took on the hard bit, the bit no one actually wants to do.

LATER, YOU:

Hmmm… Leave that to us. That’s what we do. We ensure that the details of making this happen are taken care of.

Again, no one really likes the ‘details of making this happen’ to be with them. So we do that.

NOW, THE LAST LEVEL… PEOPLE… YOU:

I think you’re going to enjoy this community. We support each other.

Notice how I say, ‘this community’, not ‘the’ community. It brings it closer to them. Notice I say, ‘We’ support each other, not ‘they’ support each other. That’s keeping the feeling of togetherness and connection at its peak.

See the section, The Rock. See the section, Me, You, We, Us

ALL FOUR DIMENSIONS SHOULD BE COVERED THOROUGHLY. IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. WITH GUSTO BY YOU. WITH THOUGHT TO WHAT WOULD SERVE THEM BEST.

THE SIX CORE NEEDS NO COMPLETE SALES PROGRAM CAN POSSIBLY NOT COVER TONY ROBBINS’ SIX CORE NEEDS MODEL.

It’s a terrific insight into human behaviour and what drives us. According to Robbins, there are six needs which drive our behaviours. These six core needs are not our values, or things we want. We have to experience these needs.

THE NEEDS ARE: 1.

Certainty

Variety

Significance

Connection/Love

Growth

Contribution

These are needs that must be met, not desires or values. We can meet these needs in a way that is obtainable, or in a way that is sustainable. ‘Obtainable’ means we can meet the need, but it’s not being met in a sustainable way. For example, we can meet our need for variety by trying drugs. Is it obtainable? Yes. Is it sustainable? No. ‘Sustainable’ means we can meet that need on an ongoing basis, in a way that is good for us, and good for our future. For example, we can meet our need for certainty by developing a solid and healthy sense of certainty about ourselves and our purpose. We can also look at meeting these needs in ways that are either resourceful or unresourceful. ‘Resourceful’ means good for us, good for others, and focused on helping us become our potential. For example, we can meet our need for significance by giving our time to a worthwhile cause. ‘Unresourceful’ means not good for us, not good for others, and focused on fear or worry. For example, we can meet our need for significance by bragging about an achievement and inflating our sense of importance.

The first four needs – Certainty; Variety; Significance; Connection – determine, according to Robbins, our personality. The last two – Growth; Contribution – determine our level of fulfilment. This information, in a sales context, is very valuable.

Here are some conclusions I’ve reached based on this useful framework.

Many people do not have enough certainty in their lives, and attempt to get more certainty by feeling good about the future. They will do this by buying things that reassure them they’re doing something about their future. They don’t want too much risk, because they get their certainty from what’s going on around them, because they can’t give it to themselves and don’t know how. Some people have a healthy sense of self, and will make the buying decision based on whether it fits in with their values and vision. Awesome.

Many people are risk averse and would rather keep what they have than risk it for a bigger gain. They will buy what they perceive as adding to what they have, but not if it risks them losing what they have. The other interesting thing about this is that people want variety on their terms and their way. They almost want to know what the variety is, so they can feel certain! When helping them with their buying decision, be mindful of not making the ‘thing’ too filled with the unknown, or make the Big Idea so much more important. Some people have a healthy sense of self, so they are comfortable with more variety and exploring the ‘unknown’. They are going to be more successful at the ‘thing’ because they are comfortable with being uncomfortable. The more uncertainty and variety anyone can tolerate, enjoy and welcome, the more successful they will become.

Many people want to feel significant, but don’t want to do much to feel that way. They want to be praised and adored, but don’t want to take the risk of action, which may fail, to achieve this. When helping someone with a buying decision, link it to their need for significance. And only do this if your ‘thing’ can actually deliver on this, obviously. Some people have a healthy sense of themselves and simply want to do better. Whoever it is, false flattery and praise is never a good idea. It is easily seen for what it is, and dismissed, which means you are dismissed, which means so is your ‘thing’.

There are plenty of people who want to feel connection and love, and feel taken for granted. They don’t get that to feel these things, you must give them to themselves and to others. They seek outside solutions to this, constantly. To help them meet these needs, build into your ‘thing’ a way for them to belong to a group that has similar values and beliefs.

Lots of people want growth without the pain. We are averse to pain and disappointment. We want to feel accomplished but don’t want the risk of falling down along the way. We want to make progress and feel that sense of accomplishment, but we are reluctant to actually do what will cause us to feel that way. Plenty of people want to learn a skill and be awesome at it – for example, playing the guitar, or painting, or writing a book – but most people do not want the hours, weeks, months or years it takes to achieve this. They want the coolness of the acclaim and that sense of growth, without the hard yards.

Lots of people want to believe they’re a good person. To do this, we like to think we do more than we actually do to help others. We justify our lack of action as ‘I’m busy’, or ‘Someone else is better than me at this’, or ‘I’ll get to it, I definitely am planning this’. To help them make a buying decision, focus on how it will help them be a better person by having a bigger influence on people who need what they are about to be able to do, because of your ‘thing’.

Statements Based on the Six Core Needs CERTAINTY

It’s important to feel certain it’s going to work… Certainly… Let’s make sure we’re certain this will suit you… We don’t want to get this wrong. Let’s go over it again, to be sure… VARIETY

I think the most interesting people enjoy adventure… Sometimes we need to live a little… Hmmm… What do they say? Adventure is the spice of life… I’m loving working with people who get that every now and then, you just have to break out a little… It’s important, I think, to have a balance between learning and application, so we know there’s progress ahead… SIGNIFICANCE

How is that sitting with your plans to really make that difference? So many people say they want to make a difference, I prefer to work with the people who actually are… You sound like someone who likes to make things happen… When you know, you know. CONNECTION

Hmmm, I’m sure the people who succeed did it with a team around them…

Sometimes we need to know we’re with people who’ll support and champion us… It’s not enough to have a dream, no one succeeds completely along… I love being with like-minded people…

GROWTH

So many people live in Groundhog Day, there’s few who decide to really stretch themselves… In nature they say it’s either growing or dying. I think it’s the same for my brain… Too many people settle for too little. The greatness is in the willingness to grow… CONTRIBUTION

It has to be about making a difference… Sometimes we get sick of what we do for ourselves, and we realise it’s time to do something for someone else… Beyond family, too many people do too little… Imagine the impact you’ll have on your community…

THE FOUR R’S AS CHILDREN DEVELOP, THEY GO THROUGH STAGES OF GROWTH – THEY ARE DEPENDENT ON THE ADULTS, THEN THEY REBEL DURING THEIR TEEN YEARS, THEY THEN STRIVE TO GET RESULTS AND THEN FINALLY REALISE THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN GETTING RESULTS, AND THEY WANT TO GIVE BACK.

Agreed, this is over-simplified, but it does explain some behaviour we see in adults! There are plenty of people who get to adulthood, and who have not grown out of the first stage of development – they are still childlike in their dependence on authority to tell them what to do. There are plenty of people who are still rebelling against the status quo, either functionally or dysfunctionally. And there are people who want results and who want to make a difference.

THIS ADULT DEVELOPMENT MODEL IS SUMMARISED IN THE FOLLOWING WAY: 1.

Reliance

Rebellion

Results

Realisation

Reliance – There are people who are highly reliant on authority to tell them what to do, to guide them, to provide advice, and to ensure their safety through what the individual sees as dangerous/unsafe territory. At any one time, an adult can be reliant in more than one area of their lives. They may be results driven in business, and reliant when it comes to their health, for example. For many people, their level of reliance is in areas where they need to be further along the scale than they are. They have stayed highly reliant because they have not been tested or stretched in that area, yet, and are under-functioning.

For example, I meet people who are highly reliant on us for their experience, their learning and their progress. They love the experience, but haven’t yet taken responsibility for it. If we didn’t provide the environment for the experience they love, they would not be able to create it for themselves. They would also go further and reject us for not giving them what they want. A reliant adult can’t handle the authority body/individual not being perfect and consistent. In fact, lack of consistency is one of their biggest fears, because variety and change means lack of safety to them, and uncertainty. Because they can’t manage themselves in that area, they feel fearful, unable to cope, and stressed. This can turn into anger at the authority, because they cannot take responsibility, yet, for their emotions. At this level, the person feels justified in blame, and makes excuses for lack of progress because of outside forces which they believe put results beyond their control and influence. If something changes around them, they are easily put off their game. They are highly driven by the need for certainty. They doubt out of the box thinking if it has an effect on them. They love it as a concept and an idea. They want things to be done for them, and problems to not be theirs. It’s not that they want the problem solved – they just don’t want the problem to exist. There is a constant shifting of their own personal goal posts and an inability to see that their lack of commitment is their actual problem. They value belonging and want to fit it. Standing out would be awful to them. They love the idea of being significant, believe there are ‘special’ simply because they exist, and expect others to actually get things done around them. It’s a sense of entitlement. Their emotional immaturity around their personal responsibilities lead them to seek others who are easily daunted also, confirming their world view. They crave to be seen as special, but are terrified of the attention it may bring them. They want the results with none of the effort. They love to be involved in a movement with a mission that makes the world a better place, but don’t expect to have to do contribute to it in a consistent way. Small contributions when it’s convenient is the most they can be relied upon to deliver. They are easily intimidated by authority, and believe strong people are too aggressive. They gauge people by how they confirm their world view and don’t want to be challenged. Unfortunately, the authority (replacement parents) they have invested their power to (not their trust, they don’t trust themselves so don’t know how to trust) will, inevitably, let them down in some way. The ‘let down’ may be only perceived, or even must the threat of being let down, and that’s enough for this individual to be frightened and go into flight mode. They will quit that environment.

It’s just too much for them to face the authority not being completely and utterly reliable. They can’t cope. So they quit. They run away. They blame the authority for ‘letting them down’. They don’t learn that imperfection is to be human, or about forgiveness, or about how to work through a challenge. And they can’t be counted on to help the authority through it, either. That would be completely too much for them, taking their ‘guru’ from perfection to being the same as them. And they cannot cope with that. To maintain the illusion that the authority is perfect, all-knowing and all-responsible, they don’t see anything but the surface of the message, so they never actually get substantial results in that area. You can do lots of business with this group of individuals, as long as you’re strong on culture, give them a fabulous experience, keep them entertained and keep giving them stuff. Give them high-maintenance solutions and they will stay. The idea is that they stay as they mature, which is when they become a more valuable client and large contributor to the community you build. Until then, you have to do it for them. Constantly. They see the world from their own perspective. They don’t see anyone else’s point of view. They say they do. They say they’re kind and thoughtful and mostly they are, as long as it’s convenient. These individuals care way too much about right and wrong and constantly judge themselves and others by this criteria. You can recognise this group as the clients who are constantly needy and seeking reassurance.

Rebellion – dysfunctional Once the ‘Reliance’ individual has had enough of waiting for the authority body/individual to come through for them the way they think it should/has to happen, they will reject the authority. They won’t realise they were responsible always for their results or lack of results. They will simply reject the messenger completely. The dysfunctional version of this is the ‘haters’ on Facebook. It’s the ‘trolls’. It’s the people who hate ‘stuff’ simply because it’s there. They aren’t fighting FOR something – they’re rejecting. They are a petulant, sulking, aggravated teenager in an adult body. They comment on, ‘Pissed Off Consumer’ with rants that are cruel and unsubstantiated. They’re the people who are angry because it’s ‘their right to feel any way they want’.

They aggravate people who are on the cusp of Reliance and Rebellion, creating a mob mentality. They picket against stuff, without having a solution. They want to tear down institutions, without knowing what would need to be in place in their place. They feel their anger and rejection is justifiable and to take them on is a complete waste of time. They are to be avoided, and you don’t have to worry about doing business with them – they can’t join without making their hostility obvious. They have the potential to make money if they can harness their ‘anti’ attitude long enough into a coherent message. Some marketers do this, and seem to attract followers. They won’t attract leaders, however, because they need to keep stirring up drama to make this marketing work. And results-driven adults don’t want the drama. They’ve done all that and they’re over it. This individual knows who they hurt and don’t care, because they believe their right to express themselves trumps any and everything else. Everyone and everything is fodder for their message, except for people who do something for them. And as soon as someone does something for them, they can become a target. They are very opinionated about who’s getting wrong. Don’t be flawed around them, they will see it as weakness and pounce on it and expose it and magnify it. You can recognise this pattern in the marketers who criticise other marketers or individuals.

Rebellion – functional This individual is self-aware. They understand the ‘system’ they work within, have identified the main drivers of it and its functionality or lack of functionality. They see what works. They see what needs to change. They advocate change not by tearing down what is, but by proposing an alternative. They are not about doing things better, but doing them differently. This individual is about ‘Us versus Them’ marketing used to great effect, to let people know they are not regular, boring status quo. They expect to do well by being ‘counter-culture’ and alternative to the mainstream. They hang out with people who are into results using the latest and most different technology and possibilities. You can recognise this pattern in Apple and Amazon, when they invented alternative systems.

Results The results individual is all about succeeding. If that means relying on an organisation, they will do so. If that means doing something else, they will do so. The pursuit is for the result, not for who’s right or who’s wrong. It’s not about who is to blame, it’s about what works and who can help them make it work better. They dig getting things done, are dismissive of low performance, have KPI’s and expect to succeed. They won’t hang out with people for the community, but for what they can do to help them. There is a level of ‘what’s in it for me’ but they know the way to get results is working with others. They only work with others who get them what they want, so they’re not strong at developing others, yet. Think any local retailer that does nothing except offer stuff to sell.

Realisation This individual is consistent with their results, and knows that working with and through others to build something that matters is the point. They don’t fight the system for the sake of it, but create their own, alternative system that works effectively for the benefit of many. They shun bureaucracy that slows things down, as they want to go with the best alternative at the time and want the benefits of fast adaptation and flexibility. They admire systems that work, and incorporate the best of the best into their own systems. And every now and then, they just do their own thing. Think Apple (yes, two categories). There is little hierarchy or authority around them, and they spurn tradition for the sake of tradition. They love a mission, and can create a mission. Compare this to Reliance – at this level they love a mission because it feels they’re part of something that counts, but don’t do anything towards it. Think Apple (again), and any business that brings people together around a great idea.

RELIANCE

REBELLION (Dysfunctional)

REBELLION (Functional)

RESULTS

REALISATION

Show them the systems you have

Don’t do business with them

Show them how it adds to the new ideas

Show they how it contributes to results

Show them how it contributes to the whole

Focus on certainty language

Focus on significance language

Focus on variety and growth language

Focus on growth and contribution language

Give them reassurance

Give them alternatives

Give them systems that work

Give them a pathway to serving others

Don’t talk about chaos

Don’t talk about conformity

Don’t talk about others

Don’t talk about self interest

Insist they share how this time will be different

Insist they share how they can move this new idea forward

Insist they share how they see the system will aid in results

Insist they share their vision

Figure out together how to balance the need for support with the need for personal and professional growth

Figure out together how to balance using what works with the imperative of building something new

Figure out together how to balance the need to learn with the need to get results

Figure out together how to balance the need to deliver to others with the imperative to build something that matters

Don’t let them off the hook on their need to grow as someone who can take responsibility

Don’t let them off the hook on their need to appreciate what works

Don’t let them off the hook on their need to get results versus helping others

Don’t let them off the hook on their readiness to develop others

Language for the Four R’s RELIANCE □ Sometimes we have to know we can rely on support, you know… □ I think too many people try to do everything themselves, instead of asking for help… □ Are you going to ask for help when you need it?

REBELLION – FUNCTIONAL □ When we have a message and we know it counts, nothing will stop us □ Sometimes the status quo needs to be shaken up

RESULTS □ Too many people talk a good game, not enough do anything about it… □ I prefer to be with people who walk their talk… □ I think people settle for too little. It’s okay to go for a great result; what’s wrong with striving for success?

REALISATION □ I think if more people come together for the greater good, more gets done… □ United we stand…

DISC D.I.S.C. IS A SIMPLE THINKING STYLE TOOL FOR ASSESSING SOMEONE’S PREFERRED THINKING AND COMMUNICATION STYLES.

Not everyone likes to be communicated the same way as everyone else – there are certain communication styles that work better for some people than they do with others. When speaking with me, say it as it is, speak plainly, get to the point, and give me facts, not feelings. That’s because my preferred thinking and communication style is ‘D’ for dominance. I know someone who wants lots of feelings in the sentences, and for me to talk about them, because they think most things are about them, and they love to shine, and be the centre of attention. Their preferred thinking and communication style is ‘I’ for influence. There are many subtleties to this, of course, and I am simplifying it, but it generally is as straight forward as this. Your job is to get so aware of people’s preferred thinking and communication styles that you honour them by communicating how they prefer it. You will always lead the people whose communication style you can notice, respect and reflect. If you are constantly the person being respected because others are having to speak to you a certain way, you’re the follower. In sales, of course, you want to be the leader.

SO LET’S LOOK AT THE FOUR MAIN THINKING STYLES IN THE D.I.S.C. SYSTEM...  D–

Dominance

 I–

Influence

 S–

Steadiness

 C–

Compliance

Dominance People with the D style place an emphasis on shaping the environment by overcoming opposition to accomplish results.

A PERSON WITH A D STYLE:  is motivated by winning, competition and success  prioritizes accepting challenge, taking action and achieving immediate results  is described as direct, demanding, forceful, strong willed, driven, and determined, fast-paced, and self-confident  may be limited by lack of concern for others, impatience and lack of concern for others  may fear being seen as vulnerable or being taken advantage of  values competency, action, concrete results, personal freedom, challenges

GOALS:  unique accomplishments  new opportunities  control of audience  independence

NEEDS OTHERS WHO:  weigh pros and cons  calculates risks  use caution  research facts  deliberate before deciding  recognize the needs of others

When communicating with the D style individuals, give them the bottom line, be brief, focus your discussion narrowly, avoid making generalizations, refrain from repeating yourself, and focus on solutions rather than problems.

Influence People with the I style place an emphasis on shaping the environment by influencing or persuading others.

A PERSON WITH A I STYLE:  is motivated by social recognition, group activities, and relationships  prioritizes taking action, collaboration, and expressing enthusiasm  is described as convincing, magnetic, enthusiastic, warm, trusting and optimistic  may be limited by being impulsive and disorganized and having lack of follow-through.  may fear loss of influence, disapproval and being ignored  values coaching and counselling, freedom of expression and democratic relationships

GOALS:  victory with flair  friendship and happiness  authority and prestige status symbols  popularity

NEEDS OTHERS WHO:  concentrate on the task  seek facts  speak directly  develop systematic approaches  prefer to deal with things instead of people  take a logical approach  demonstrate follow-through

When communicating with the I style individual, share your experiences, allow the I style person time to ask questions and talk themselves, focus on the positives, avoid overloading them with details, and don't interrupt them.

Steadiness People with the S style place an emphasis on cooperating with others within existing circumstances to carry out the task…

A PERSON WITH AN S STYLE:  is motivated by cooperation, opportunities to help and sincere appreciation  prioritizes giving support, collaboration and maintaining stability  is described as calm, patient, predictable, deliberate, stable and consistent  may be limited by being indecisive, overly accommodating and tendency to avoid change  may fear change, loss of stability and offending others  values loyalty, helping others and security

GOALS:  personal accomplishments  group acceptance  power through formal roles and positions of authority  maintenance of status quo and controlled environment

NEEDS OTHERS WHO:  react quickly to unexpected change  become involved in more than one thing  are self-promoting  apply pressure on others  work comfortably in an unpredictable environment  help to prioritize work  are flexible in work procedures

When communicating with the S Style individuals, be personal and amiable, express your interest in them and what you expect from them, take time to provide clarification, be polite, and avoid being confrontational, overly aggressive or rude.

Conscientious People with the C style place an emphasis on working conscientiously within existing circumstances to ensure quality and accuracy.

A PERSON WITH A C STYLE:  is motivated by opportunities to gain knowledge, showing their expertise, and quality work  prioritizes ensuring accuracy, maintaining stability, and challenging assumptions  is described as careful, cautious, systematic, diplomatic, accurate and tactful  may be limited by being overcritical, over-analysing and isolating themselves  may fear criticism and being wrong  values quality and accuracy

GOALS:  unique accomplishments  correctness  stability  predictable accomplishments  personal growth

NEEDS OTHERS WHO:  delegate important tasks  make quick decisions  use policies only as guidelines  compromise with the opposition  state unpopular positions  encourage teamwork  initiate and facilitate discussions

When communicating with the C style individual, focus on facts and details; minimize "pep talk" or emotional language; be patient, persistent and diplomatic.

Your job as a professional sales consultant is to be selfaware enough to – 1.

Know your preference

Know all the preferences

Recognise the preferences in others

Respect the preferences in others

Be able to communicate in their preferred style

Your role is not to ‘change’ them to your way of communicating and thinking, nor to decide they’d be ‘better off’ if they were more XXX... Your role is to facilitate their decision making within their preferred thinking and communication style.

NOTE: You can expect the D’s to say ‘yes’ sooner, AS LONG as you are strong enough for them and get to the point. If you act ‘I’ with them trying to ‘win them over’ you will waste your time and not impress them – they don’t want to be won over, that’s you, being ‘I’ and ignoring and disrespecting them

NOTE: If you’re ‘D’ and prefer straight speaking, and you’re on the phone to someone who is clearly ‘I’ and a complete peacock, your job is not to pull them down, get them to be more humble, or show them how unimpressed you are. It’s to respect how they want the world to see them

DOMINANCE

INFLUENCE

STEADINESS

COMPLIANCE

Don’t flatter

Don’t ignore

Don’t be superficial

Don’t be indifferent to the details

Do get to the point

Do acknowledge

Do stay calm

Do be accurate

Ask questions to help them

Ask questions to get to know them

Ask questions so they can get to know you

Ask questions to get it right

Driven by significance

Driven by connection

Driven by certainty

Not driven by connection

Not driven by certainty

Not driven by significance

Not driven by variety

Prefer conversations about Environment and Structure

Prefer conversations about Implementation and People

Prefer conversations about Structure and Implementation

Prefer conversations about Structure

Are big picture on the Hierarchy of Ideas

Are mid picture on the Hierarchy of Ideas

Are detailed on the Hierarchy of Ideas

On the Hierarchy of Language prefer necessity language mixed with possibilities

On the Hierarchy of Language prefer possibility language mixed with the possibilities

On the Hierarchy of Language prefer necessity language mixed with mid level potential

On the Hierarchy of Language prefer necessity language mixed with the details

Make decisions based on facts

Make decisions based on ‘gut’

Make decisions based on reliability of you

Make decisions on the information being accurate

Make decisions quickly, in one conversation, or even before speaking with you

Make decisions quickly Make decisions in a as long as you like them considered way based on calm conversation and documentation

Make decisions based on the facts being right and accurate and you respecting their need to get it right

Don’t read the reading materials

Do read it and check with you

Read it and draw conclusions from it

Want to look into your eyes

Want you to look into their eyes

Want to be with you

Don’t need to be with you

META PROGRAMS THESE ‘PROGRAMS’ ARE CONTENT-FREE FILTERS OF HOW WE EXPERIENCE THE WORLD.

By ‘content-free’, I mean, it doesn’t matter what the event or situation is, people will respond based on these programs. By understanding these filters, we can know how we are driven to respond, and know how others are driven to respond, to situations. We then need to tailor our responses to the person to match their preferred Meta Program. In nearly all cases, language shows us the way…

1. Direction filter This is about how we see the world in terms of what we want to experience – either we want to move towards our future, an experience etc, or we want to move away from something we want to avoid, like a situation or our past etc.

THE QUESTIONS TO ASK TO DETERMINE HOW SOMEONE DIRECTS THEIR THOUGHTS ARE: What do you want in a car (job/relationship)? What’s important to you about _______?

YOU WILL HEAR MOVING TOWARDS LANGUAGE, LIKE: I want to be able to… What I love is… It’s important to me so I can…

YOU WILL HEAR MOVING AWAY LANGUAGE, LIKE: I don’t want to… I’m tired of…

It’s got to be better than… A.

Toward

Toward with a little Away

Both Toward and Away equally

Away with a little Toward

Away

2. Reason filter This Meta Program is focused in on how someone wants to experience their world in terms of what needs to happen, versus what they would love to happen. Some people want the possibilities – they are excited by the potential and the upside. Other people want the necessities – they need to know what is important, and needed, and necessary. We’re listening for language of possibility and language of necessity.

LANGUAGE OF POSSIBILITY: Love to… Want to… Can…

LANGUAGE OF NECESSITY: Have to… Got to… Must… Need…

THE QUESTION YOU CAN ASK TO SEEK TO KNOW HOW THE PERSON PREFERS TO SEE THE WORLD IS: Why are you choosing to do what you’re doing? A. Possibility

B. Necessity C. Both

3. Frame of reference filter Some people naturally turn within themselves to assess their progress and to assess how they’re going. Others naturally look outside to others and to their environment to see how they’re doing. When assessing our abilities, we are either internal or external focused.

THE QUESTION TO ASK TO DETERMINE THIS, IS: How do you know when you’re doing a good job? A. Internal B. External C. Balanced D. Internal with External Check E. External with Internal Check

4. Convincer representational filter Some of us assess others based on what we see, some on what we hear, some on what we read, and some based on what they do. This is useful when it comes to knowing how they will assess the program or product they buy from you.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO? A. See B. Hear C. Read D. Do

5. Convincer demonstration filter This is interesting when assessing how long it will take or what form the reassurance will take for your buyer to feel reassured about their purchase from you.

Some people are automatically convinced that you can do it. Some people need three times to know and believe you can do it. Some people need a period of time to assess it. And some people, no matter what you do, will constantly be assessing your competence. Exhausting.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: How often does someone have to demonstrate competence to you before you’re convinced? A. Automatic B. Number of Times C. Period of Time D. Consistent

6. Management direction filter In this program we’re checking to see if they’re self-focused or others focused. Again, it’s about tailoring your language based on how they see the world.

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS: Do you know what you need to do to be a success on a job? Do you know what someone else needs to do? Do you find it easy or not so easy to tell him? A. Self and Others B. Self Only C. Others Only D. Self but Not Others

7. Action filter This one is terrific. It’s telling us, obviously, how they make their decisions, and is great information from a sales perspective.

This is the question, although, as with all of them, you wouldn’t necessarily ask the question but listen to your buyer intently so you know what they prefer: When you come into a situation do you usually act quickly after sizing it up, or do you do a complete study of all the consequences and then act? A. Active B. Reflective C. Both D. Inactive

8. Affiliation filter This one is assessing if they prefer to work independently or with others. It’s useful for assessing the suitability of the Awesome Thing you’re offering them.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: Tell me about a work situation in which you were the happiest, a one-time event. A. Independent Player B. Team Player C. Management Player

9. The work preference filter This one is perhaps less useful for sales, but great for leading teams and knowing how to help people get to their ideal roles. It’s looking at what someone prefers to experience in terms of people, systems or things. Some people want to work with things like projects. Some people like to work with systems, like computer programming. Some people like to be with people.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: Tell me about a work situation in which you were the happiest, a one-time event. A. Things B. Systems C. People

10. Primary interest filter This one is cool to know for management, and a little cool to know for sales. Obviously, you’re not going to ask the question to a buyer, but you can for a team member.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: What’s your favourite restaurant? Tell me about it. A. People B. Place C. Things D. Activity E. Information

11. Chunk size filter This one is really cool to know. It’s telling us how they make decisions. Do they want to see the details or the big picture? And in what order?

HERE’S THE QUESTION: If we were going to do a project together, would you want to know the big picture first, or the details first? Would you really need to know the... (ask other)? A. Specific B. Global C. Specific to Global D. Global to Specific

12. Relationship filter This one is vital in sales. The question won’t work as it is, so be creative, or just listen to them as they share information. Notice if they agree with you readily or find the need to correct you or point out what’s missing. A ‘mismatcher’ is going to search for what’s missing or different in what you say. A ‘matcher’ will go along with the conversation. There’s a section dedicated to how to address mismatchers in this workbook.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: What is the relationship between these three coins? What is the relationship between what you’re doing this year on the job and what you did at this time last year? A. Sameness B. Sameness with Exception C. Sameness and Differences Equally D. Differences with Exception E. Differences

13. Emotional stress response This is assessing whether they rely on logic or their feelings.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: Tell me about a situation (context-related) that gave you trouble, a one-time event. A. Thinking B. Feeling C. Choice

14. Time storage filter This is a handy piece of information to help someone when they’re making a buying decision. Some people are ‘Through Time’ which means they are organised, punctual, systematic and judge people on accuracy. Some people are ‘In Time’ and are more go-withthe-flow, easy going, not so mindful of accuracy and timeliness. There just different, but in interesting ways.

HERE’S THE QUESTION: How important is accuracy and timeliness to you? A. Through Time B. In Time

15. Modal operator sequence This is determining how to language our sentences to your buyer based on modal operators. There is a section on this in this workbook for you.

YOU ARE LISTENING FOR THE FOLLOWING WORDS: Love to…; Can…; May…; Want to…

THEN, MORE NECESSITY WORDS: Must…; Need…; Got to…

Which order your buyer says their sentence with the modal operators is how to reflect your language back to them.

THE QUESTION TO ASK IS: What was the last thing you said to yourself just before you got out of bed this morning?

PEOPLE ARE MISMATCHERS PEOPLE ARE NATURAL MISMATCHERS. THEY WILL DISAGREE ON REFLEX, WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING THEY’RE DOING IT.

YOU SAY: Some people can’t change… And they are going to have to think, if not say: I can!

YOU SAY:

It seems to be hard for some people to get on with making something of their lives…

And they are going to HAVE to think: Not me!

YOU SAY:

You probably won’t agree with this, but…

YOU SAY:

I’m not sure if I agree with this, but it’s been said that success is about getting around the right people.

So then it becomes about developing a few awesome mismatch-friendly lines which drive the mismatcher in your buyer crazy. :)

THE 3 QUESTIONS YOU MUST ANSWER IT’S AN INVISIBLE CONVERSATION GOING ON, BUT YOUR BUYER YOU’RE SPEAKING WITH IS WONDERING THREE THINGS.

They don’t know they’re wondering about these three things, but until they’re addressed, something is missing, and they don’t even know what it is. These three things are on your buyer’s mind all the time...

Why should I do this? Have life on your terms... Be your own boss... Skip peak hour and be there for your kids... Gain an even greater sense of direction in your own life – know what your future looks like... Do something you’re really passionate about.. Make a difference... Be the best version of you, you can be...

Why should I do this with you? Only school with a money back guarantee on our program working for you... Only Meta Dynamics based training school... Most accredited coaching school... Greatest number of face to face training hours... Nationally and internationally accredited... Support through a free class for life...

Why should I do it now? Current deal you have going. Great time to get into this profession, now that people are becoming more and more aware of coaching, and the demand is growing for good coaches... You could be coaching within 90 days... How long have you been waiting to make this decision? Some of our students who are running their own coaching business tell me that there was never going to be a good time to do it, so the push to get started is what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re most grateful for, as now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s having a huge impact on their lives...

SHOW YOUR FLAWS THE THING IS, IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS.

No matter how incredible you believe your TofA is, never make it seem perfect. You must find a flaw, or seem flawed, or the buyer will stay suspicious. Something will hold them back, and they might not be able to put their finger on it… So you must reveal a flaw. Forget something until the last minutes (ensure what you remember helps them, and isn’t a new problem to solve!). Point out something you don’t do (for example, any face to face training, or something that others offer) and make them decide if that’s important to them, right there with you. Make it a deal-breaker. Don’t try to be all things to everyone. No one is buying that, figuratively or literally.

SOCIAL PROOF AGAIN, CIALDINI DOES THIS BEST IN HIS BOOK, INFLUENCE. WE ARE MORE COMFORTABLE GOING WITH THE MAJORITY. WE DON’T GENERALLY LIKE TO STAND OUT OR STAND ALONE.

In one incredible experiment they had a room of actors posing as participants. The last person to be asked the question was the actual subject of this experiment, and didn’t know it. They were each asked in turn which line was most like the other. All gave the wrong answer. They gave the obvious wrong answer. The subject, in nearly every case, gave the same wrong answer. We are conditioned to survive and thrive through group belonging. It’s deep in us, to fit in, to cooperate, to be one of the many (as much as we also like to believe we are unique). The bravest person is always the person who dares to go first. They don’t have the benefit of the group belonging with them as they volunteer. They stand alone, in the unknown, testing new waters. So when your buyer calls to talk about your TofA, make sure you’re ready with stories of success, from many backgrounds. Don’t make this buyer be the loner, bravely fighting every instinct they have to run back to their old world, where the comfort of belonging is so easily met. LET THEM KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUCCEEDED DESPITE THESE HURDLES:  Living somewhere isolated  Single and with children  Working full time  No support from peers or loved ones  Very young  Very old  Haven’t studied in forever  Don’t have a great familiarity with the internet Make sure you give examples where saying ‘no’ would be so much easier than saying ‘yes’. Give examples where success, for a pragmatist, would be predictably unlikely. WHAT YOU’RE TELLING THEM IS: IF THEY CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU.

REASSURANCE STRATEGIES IN TRADITIONAL SALES TRAINING, WE ARE TAUGHT THAT THE BUYER WILL NEED TO BE REASSURED, ONCE THE PURCHASE IS MADE.

My thinking is, why wait? They need reassuring – we all do – so why not do it before they buy?

PEOPLE WANT TO BE REASSURED THAT:

□ They’re not alone – so tell them a couple of stories of how the community they’re joining comes together

□ They’re significant – so tell them a story about how someone achieved what it is they want and how they were admired □ They can make a difference – so tell them a story about how someone applied this and was able to make a contribution beyond themselves, using what they learned, or using the money they earned to make a difference etc.

Reassure your buyer right in the conversation, so when they go home they have these stories to tell the people who care about them, and they can reassure themselves as well. Generally, people want to be reassured three times. It can be with stories, or it can be through them telling you how they’re going to make it work. Both are strong strategies which will stay with them way more effectively than you telling them ‘everything will be fine’ or some such nonsense.

NOTES

PERMISSION QUESTIONS ASKING PERMISSION TO GO TO SOME INTERESTING AND NEW PLACES WITH A SEMI-STRANGER IS IMPORTANT. IT’S RESPECTFUL.

With these techniques in this program, you will have your your buyers experiencing conversations they’ve never had before, with anyone. Because of that, they will feel, on occasion, vulnerable. They will feel a little uncertain. As well as it simply being the cool thing to do, by asking permission, and receiving the answer, ‘yes’, we’re evoking the Law of Consistency, which is by far the most powerful persuader ever.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

If it’s okay, I’d like to know a little more about you…

YOUR BUYER:

Sure…

They’ve just agreed to enter into a deeper relationship with you.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I’m always putting myself last…

YOU:

Is it okay if I ask you a coaching question?

YOUR BUYER:

Sure.

YOU:

How come you hesitate on doing something for yourself?

COMPARE THIS WITH: YOUR BUYER:

I’m always putting myself last…

YOU:

How come you hesitate on doing something for yourself?

Notice how it’s a little confrontational and a little blunt? It’s the same question, just without the preamble.

SOFTENERS SOFTENERS ARE THE WARM UP WORDS WE SAY BEFORE WE DELIVER THE MESSAGE WE WANT HEARD. IT MAKES THE MESSAGE EASIER TO HEAR.

HERE’S SOME GREAT EXAMPLES OF SOFTENERS:

I’m wondering… I guess… Maybe… Perhaps…

RISK MINIMISING STATEMENTS WHAT ABOUT THESE WORDS: YOU CAN DO THIS. PEOPLE CAN DO THIS.

The word you is much closer, and pointing directly at the person. The word people is further away and easier to hear.

This matters because when talking to a buyer, we want to be mindful that we can deliver tougher messages and stronger communication when we use the distancing language. It’s more of a challenge to say: What are your thoughts? Versus: Let’s share some thoughts. By removing the direct word your, it’s easier to consider the ideas.

NOW LET’S PUT THIS TOGETHER: The idea is great. It’s about understanding the concepts and the foundation methodology to then be able to see how it applies in our own business. With this, we can then appreciate its impact and power.

COMPARE THIS TO THE LESS EASY TO ACCEPT LANGUAGE: My idea is great. It’s about you understanding the concepts and the foundation methodology you need so you can see how it applies in your business. With this, you can appreciate its impact and power for you.

By removing ‘you’ and ‘your’, and replacing it with them and that etc, it’s easier for someone to hear the message.

Someone has the same effect. HAVE A PLAY WITH REPLACING THE WORD YOU WITH ALTERNATIVES.

That… This… The… Someone… People… We… The message you deliver will be heard and accepted without offence and without rejection of the message.

FOR EXAMPLE: I’m a big believer in personal empowerment. Some people think it’s about life happening to them. They think if they drift along, things will improve and change and happen without their input. I see so many people waiting and hoping for change, and wondering why it doesn’t happen for them. Try this paragraph out loud with the word you in its place, and see how you feel about the statements.

ANOTHER GREAT WAY TO MINIMISE THE RISK YOUR BUYER FEELS IS THROUGH THE USE OF THE WORDS:

Seems… It’s like… Some people… It’s something like…

What we’re doing is putting a perception of what something is, in front of the reality of what it could be or is.

THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SAYING:

I think it’s something like that… VERSUS:

It’s this.

PRE FRAMES AND OPEN LOOPS PREFRAMING IS WHAT WE DO WHEN SUGGEST A COMING ATTRACTION. OPEN LOOPS IS WHEN WE START TO SUGGEST A CONVERSATION, AND THEN SUGGEST WE’LL COME BACK TO IT.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

How does it work?

YOU:

There’s a couple of ways. How about if we find out if they are any good for you?

Here’s what happened for this section. Your buyer has asked a question that would require you to be an information booth. Instead of being that, you’ve asked a cool question back that they won’t mind agreeing to, because it’s for them. And we’ve preframed where we’re heading.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF THE OPEN LOOP: YOUR BUYER:

I’m not sure which course.

YOU:

Hmmm… It’s a lot to consider. Do you like a challenge?

YOUR BUYER:

I do.

YOU:

Okay, that’s awesome and it helps with this. I’ll tell you how in a tick.

YOUR BUYER:

Okay.

YOU:

Now, about the first course…

See in this one how we’ve promised something for them… later. So they’ll hear this part of the conversation, because there’s going to be something cool for them in a little while. The difference between the two does not matter a bit. Just use them with coolness.

MINIMISE WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME STATEMENTS WHEN YOUR BUYER ASKS US A QUESTION THAT BY ANSWERING DIRECTLY WE BECOME AN INFORMATION BOOTH, WE MUST NOT ANSWER DIRECTLY.

One of the ways to deal with this is to put them off with an alternative suggestion. But when you do this, there has to be something in it for them for them to agree. If it’s just so you can control the conversation, and you don’t give a cool reason, they would have every right to blow you off and be annoyed. Instead, you have to answer in a way where they see the benefit of agreeing to do it your way.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

Can you tell me about the programs?

YOU:

Sure. Have you seen the choices available?

YOUR BUYER:

No. Can you tell me a little about them?

YOU:

Absolutely. Are you interested in knowing the outcomes people achieve or are you more interested in knowing the requirements to succeed?

YOUR BUYER:

Hmmm… both, I think.

YOU:

I guess it helps me get clear on whether we’re a good match for you. We might not be the school for you.

That is so cool, in so many ways… Firstly, both my ideas are beneficial to them. Whichever they choose, they will perceive personal benefit from the answers. It’s of value to them. Secondly, by asking the double bind question, I’ve prevented them wanting to know, ‘What’s the schedule of classes?’ or other lame stuff that has them no closer to being able to make a decision. I’ve controlled what information they will receive, and the choices are both awesome for us.

I don’t mind if we talk about how to succeed with us. This will lead to them having to prove themselves to me. I don’t mind if we talk about the great outcomes people achieve through our programs, obviously. And the next comment…

‘…get clear on whether we’re a good match for you. We might not be the school for you…’ That’s letting them know that just because we’re talking, it doesn’t mean I’m going to ‘sell’ to them or convince them to buy. It’s letting them know that this conversation has to be great for both of us, not just them, as we are more than prepared to decide we’re not the right school for them. The onus is on them and on us to see if this goes well, not just on us ‘impressing’ them.

FADING END STATEMENTS HOW ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS TRAINING? ARE YOU LEARNING LOTS, THINKING ABOUT ITS APPLICATIONS, OR…

By trailing off at the end, and ending on the word ‘or’, I’ve left it open for you to find another alternative answer. By you doing this, we’ve obeyed the rule that if I say it, it’s not true, but if you say it, it is. By you completing that first sentence, you bought the idea of the whole sentence.

Even if you didn’t finish the sentence, you still accepted the whole sentence because of the way it trailed off in our minds. Fading end statements or questions provide the buyer’s mind a way to accept what you said, whilst looking like you’ve given them a choice to pick something else to answer with or think about. It allows the buyer to collaborate with you, and to be with you on the journey of the buying decision, because you’re being inclusive with your vague sentence endings.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Do you even have the time for this, or are you a bit…

Now, with this one, the word ‘even’ has elevated them to importance (significance), as it has implied they’re super busy. Then I’ve asked ‘…or are you a bit…’ No one wants to be ‘a bit…’ and people are driven by significance. So the buyer will say something like: I’m super busy, but this is important.

YOU:

Okay. Are you sure?

THE BUYER:

Yes.

They said it, so it’s true. And you say (as I’m sure you know by now): How come?

THE POWER OF THE AFTERTHOUGHT THIS GOES HAND IN HAND WITH SHOWING YOUR FLAWS.

Don’t speak as if you’re reading from a script. Don’t be word perfect with what you say. No one speaks that way, except news announcers, and we don’t believe what we see on TV anymore. Sound like a regular person, except with a slightly slower, deeper voice than some. And every now and then, forget where you were in the conversation, or ask for help with what you just said, or remember something that you should have remembered earlier.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Where were we? Can you remind me… What did we say about that? Ohhh, I almost forgot… did I tell you about the first week gift you receive? I can’t believe I nearly forgot that…

BE UNDERSTATED I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN SAID MANY TIMES, NOW, SO I WON’T GO ON ABOUT IT.

Be less excited than the buyer. Be less verbose than the buyer. Be underwhelmed, on occasion (never bored). Be silent, sometimes. And sometimes play down a big thing that your TofA has, just to show you’re not selling.

IF I SAY IT, THEY DOUBT ME; IF THEY SAY IT, IT’S TRUE I LOVE THIS LANGUAGE PATTERN. IF YOU SAY SOMETHING, THEY CAN DOUBT IT. BUT IF THEY SAY IT, IT MUST BE TRUE.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

What led to your inquiry?

YOUR BUYER:

I guess I wanted to look at me seeing if I could do this…

YOU:

How come?

YOUR BUYER:

Because I think I could help people…

YOU:

Hmmm. So helping people… that seems important to you…

YOUR BUYER:

Yes, it is.

YOU:

Great. How come?

Each time they answer, they are convincing themselves of what they’re saying. This is the Law of Consistency in action. The more they talk about why it matters to them – the more it will matter to them.

AGREEMENT FRAMES AGREEMENT FRAMES ARE FAIRLY STRAIGHT FORWARD AND VERY OVER USED LANGUAGE PATTERNS TO ENCOURAGE… AGREEMENT.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I like the sound of more face to face training.

YOU:

Great. Face to face training is important, isn’t it?

Please don’t do this. Enough said.

THE WAY TO DO IT IS THIS:

It seems we all have more to learn about how to help each other… And now just stay quiet. The buyer will take this in, find it difficult to disagree with, and easy to agree with, and will agree.

OR THIS EXAMPLE:

We only seem to attract the nicest and most thoughtful people to our programs… What can they say to that? Except to agree?

OR THIS: Hmmm… Seems online training is the way to go, now…

LET ME EXIT THIS SECTION IN A CLUNKY WAY FIRST: This is important, wouldn’t you agree?

OR WE CAN EXIT WITH THIS: This seems to be important, these days…

CONTRAST FRAMES ALL OF OUR LIFE IS CONTRASTS. WE ONLY KNOW ‘HAPPY’ BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO COMPARE IT TO.

We know how sweet laughter is, because we’ve known tears. We value friendship so much because we’ve known disappointment and betrayal. Contrast frames are awesome and valuable. Most people make decisions through comparisons to other things. Do I want the cheese cake or the chocolate cake? Do I want more pay or more work satisfaction? Do I want to exercise or chill out? We make so many decisions, automatically, through comparing something to something. The two don’t even need to be that related. As long as we can compare one thing to another, we feel we’re making a better decision than simply in isolation. This will tend to be less so in people who are clear on where they’re heading and have a plan. Then the only comparison is: Does this move me towards my goals, or not? However, for most people, it’s: ‘How does this compare with that?’ We like things to be simple. In a complex, overwhelming and difficult-to-navigate-and-stillfeel-safe-and-comfortable-and-like-a-hero-world, we force things to be simple, simply so we can cope. We make decisions on the stuff that’s on our minds at the time. Whatever is front of mind is part of the decision making process. We want to have something in our minds to compare this new information to, so we can tell ourselves we understand it. It doesn’t matter that to understand all of it, someone would have had to write the course they’re thinking of joining. We have to feel as if we’re in enough control that we’re making a reasonable decision. Another way to look at it is this: If we can convince ourselves we’re not making a horrible mistake, we’ll go for it. So if we give your buyer the thing to compare our Thing of Awesomeness to, our buyer can immediately, on the spot, whilst with you, make the decision.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

Hey I’m wondering if you can share with me why you’re interested in this…

YOUR BUYER:

I guess I’ve always seen myself as a coach.

YOU:

Hmmm… a natural listener…

YOUR BUYER:

Yeah. And people come to me.

YOU:

Hmmm. Nice.

Notice I’m understated. I’m not overly enthusiastic, especially when someone is rewarding themselves for accomplishments outside of our world.

YOUR BUYER:

(After a silence) I think I would be good at it.

Notice now they’re justifying themselves to me.

YOU:

So helping people drives you?

I’m now making them work for it…

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. I think so.

YOU:

Good. So many people focus on what’s in it for them. They don’t think in terms of how this may impact others, and wonder why it doesn’t happen for them.

THERE IS IT.

Your buyer is now searching inside, based on what I’ve said, for who they are. They may sense and know that really, this is for themselves, and not helping others. But how great do they feel knowing they’re now in that elite group, who seem small in number, who care about others? They like how that feels. It’s awesome. They want more of that. They like comparing favourably (as we ALL do) to others out there.

They’re now also part of us. They belong. They feel significant. They are part of that elite group that make a difference. Life just got filled to the brim with redemption and a fresh start.

HERE’S ANOTHER: YOUR BUYER:

I really want to do this for myself.

YOU:

That’s awesome. It suits you. So many people don’t ever put themselves first.

HERE’S ANOTHER: YOUR BUYER:

I think I could be good at this.

YOU:

So many people are so busy tearing themselves down. It’s satisfying to connect with someone who dares to believe they can. I guess it’s easier to let ourselves off the hook from doing anything if we just beat ourselves up before we even get started…

In each of these examples, your buyer must firstly, try them on, then, decide where they stand (and it’s always to look the best compared to others), and then commit to that new version of themselves. This is utilising the Law of Consistency, through contrasts.

HOW COME? WHATEVER YOUR BUYER SAYS, THEY WILL ACCEPT AS TRUE. WHATEVER YOU SAY, THEY WILL DOUBT, OR REJECT OUTRIGHT.

So it makes sense, if any business is to take place, for your buyer to do the talking. And the more reasons they give for why your TofA matters, they more they are telling themselves they should go ahead and buy.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I think I like the idea of doing XXX…

YOU:

Hmmm… How come?

YOUR BUYER:

Will give the reasons why this matters…

YOU:

Sounds like you know your own mind.

I mean, who are you to argue with their own logic? And doesn’t this seem a better way to go, than trying to tell them the same thing?

LET’S LOOK AT THE ALTERNATIVE: YOUR BUYER:

I think I like the idea of doing XXX…

YOU:

Hmmm… I think you’re right. I think it really suits you. I think it’s what you’re looking for…

YOUR BUYER:

Really? How come?

EMBEDDED COMMANDS EMBEDDED COMMANDS ARE THE WAY WE CAN DELIVER THE ACTION WE WANT THE PERSON TO TAKE, IN A WAY THAT’S ACCEPTABLE, AND ACCEPTED WITHOUT RESISTANCE.

The unconscious mind loves threes. I have no idea why. I just know it does, so I do things in threes, and people say ‘yes’ more often. Cool. AN EMBEDDED COMMAND IS THIS: The thing… I want you to do is… Join this program… It’s <ACTION THAT LEADS TO REAL THING YOU WANT THEM TO DO>, and then <SECOND ACTION THAT LEADS TO THE REAL THING YOU WANT THEM TO DO>, and then <THE ACTUAL THING YOU WANT THEM TO DO>.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE:

So grab a pen, and a diary, and maybe write this down…

HERE’S ANOTHER:

Hmmm, that’s something to reflect and get clear on, so we can move forward…

The key is to deliver the embedded command portion of the sentence: □ Deeper □ Slower □ With a pause before delivering it

Also, people remember the last thing we say.

You can use embedded commands to help them remember what actually matters. Whatever you say last, is what they will decide is the most important

REFLECTING BACK AND CLARIFYING

WHEN SOMEONE SPEAKS, THEY SPEAK TO BE HEARD. MOST PEOPLE, HOWEVER, LISTEN TO WORK OUT WHAT TO SAY.

The person speaking knows this. They can sense it. The irony is, the person wanting to make the sale is stressing about saying the right thing so much, that it’s sensed, so no matter what they say, it’s already wrong. So it’s a waste of time trying to say the right thing. Better, listen intently to understand. If you don’t understand, ask a question. If you think you do understand, then reflect back what you heard to be sure. There’s no rush to be heard. What you have to say will not cause the sale. What they have to say is what will cause the buying decision. FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I think it’s about getting a sense of purpose about what I do…

YOU:

Hmmm…

YOUR BUYER:

Yeah, so I guess I really want to love what it is I do…

YOU:

Hmmm. I think I understand. And tell me if I’m wrong… it’s to have that sense of purpose, so you really love what you do…

Yes, it’s that simple. Reflect it back. Accurately. Don’t add your version of it. Don’t say it how you think they should have said it. Don’t correct them. Don’t sound more informed than them, until you have reflected it back accurately. If you don’t reflect it accurately, or they hear it and decide it’s not that (even if it’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID), all good, listen as they correct you.

YOU:

Thank you. I appreciate that. I think I’m starting to get it.

People don’t want to be easy to understand. Show them you’re working for it and they will appreciate the conversation a lot more than if you get it exactly

right every time. Show you’re working to get them, and they will feel more significant.

NORMALISING, VALIDATING, ACKNOWLEDGING PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE FREAKS.

They think they don’t fit it. They think they’re different and if everyone else knew how different they were, they’d be rejected and isolated. People go to extraordinary lengths to hide how they are flawed. They will lie, to themselves and to others. They will pretend it’s not really an issue. It doesn’t matter that everyone feels the same way. It doesn’t matter that everyone is so concerned with themselves they’re not worrying about the fact that everyone else is worrying about themselves. But if you get this, you get to step back and not be part of that and do something else which will cause your buyer to not have to worry about that fear quite so much. You will be the first person, in many cases ever, that has done this, so you will be memorable, stand out and be valued because of it.

YOUR BUYER:

I don’t know if I can do this.

NORMAL RESPONSE:

Yes you can! (Reassurance, brushing over the concern etc)

OR THIS COULD HAPPEN:

YOUR BUYER:

I don’t know if I can do this.

YOU:

Hmmm… I hear you. That’s normal. You’re going through to a new level with new challenges. Anyone doing what you’re doing would feel this way…

Listen to the presuppositions in this. Notice the hierarchy there of movement from ‘…normal…’ to ‘…new level…’ to ‘…doing what you’re doing…’

EXCHANGING CONFIDENCES WHEN ASKING QUESTIONS, THE KEY IS TO NOT TURN IT INTO AN INTERROGATION.

It’s about exchanging information and confidences so that they know they’re speaking with someone, rather than someone speaking at them.

FOR EXAMPLE, DON’T DO THIS: YOU:

So tell me a little more about what led you to your interest?

YOUR BUYER:

Answer…

YOU:

Okay.

FOR EXAMPLE, DO THIS: YOU:

So tell me a little more about what led you to your interest?

YOUR BUYER:

Answer…

YOU:

Hmmm. It sounds like you’re clear on that. Thanks. I can relate. For me, it was about…

Be short with your answer. However long they talk, you speak for a fraction of the time. They aren’t that interested in what you have to say, unless it relates to them. They will definitely not be interested in what you have to say if it takes too long to say it, and they don’t see how it’s relevant to them and their needs. And they will definitely not be interested in what you have to say if you say nothing but, ‘Hmmm…’ or ‘Okay…’ like they’re talking to a machine who’s hoping to hear the words that tell them what they want to hear. The idea is to be interested in what they say, to understand them. It’s not to be interested in what they say, to get what you want.

MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT QUESTIONS IT’S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON’T BECOME AN ‘INFORMATION BOOTH’. THE MOMENT YOU SIMPLY ANSWER THEIR QUESTIONS, THEY WON’T BUY. THERE IS NO EMOTION IN IT. THERE’S NO COMMITMENT FROM THEM NEEDED.

The key is to have them get skin in the game. If they simply ask you questions, they have not had to lean in, show interest, show commitment, or reveal what’s in it for them. With this lack of effort, and you working so hard, it’s not setting things up for success. The key, then, is to know how to ensure that your buyer is ‘working for it’ by answering questions that indicate commitment. I tell my team, if you’re just answering questions, get off the phone. You’re wasting your time. No one phones to ask questions logically and join. People join because of emotions. If you don’t make them feel, they can’t commit. We make decisions based on emotions and we justify the decision with logic. Whatever you do, don’t just answer questions!

HERE’S HOW NOT TO DO IT: YOUR BUYER:

So how does the course work?

YOU:

Answer…

YOUR BUYER:

And is it over 12 months?

YOU:

Answer…

YOUR BUYER:

And what’s the payments?

YOU:

Are wasting your freaking time. Shut up.

AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO DO IT: YOUR BUYER:

Can you tell me a little about the courses?

YOU:

Sure. Did you have an opportunity to see the choices?

YOUR BUYER:

Aahhh, no. I didn’t…

YOU:

That’s cool. There’s three main programs. So rather than me talking at you about stuff you’re not interested in, how about we narrow things down a little bit?

YOUR BUYER:

Sure…

YOU:

So is this a personal development interest for you? Or is it a career possibility?

YOUR BUYER:

I’m thinking maybe both…

YOU:

Terrific. Thanks for that. I appreciate it. So we probably should disregard the smaller, basic program. We can come back to it, if we need to, but I’m hearing you’re going to want something a little more advanced…

YOUR BUYER:

I think so…

PEOPLE WANT TO MAKE YOU WRONG – THEY MISMATCH FOR SIGNIFICANCE

Are you going to be okay finding 4 to 10 hours a week for study? Are you cool coming to Melbourne or Sydney for the first three day training? How are you with attending classes at 7pm – will that work for you or... Are you cool to receive feedback on your coaching so you can improve... Do you have someone who supports you and wants to see you do what makes you happy?

IT’S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT… THIS STRATEGY IS ALL ABOUT UTILISING:

 The Hero’s Journey  The 4R’s  The Hierarchy of Language WHAT WE DO WITH THIS IS ELEVATE ONE IDEA TO A HIGHER IDEAL. YOUR BUYER:

I think I like to learn.

YOU:

Learning is important…

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. It is. I haven’t studied for a long time…

YOU:

Hmmm… How long has it been?

YOUR BUYER:

Oh, forever!

YOU:

That’s a long time!

YOUR BUYER:

It is.

YOU:

And I guess you’re clear on how you’ll go about it…

YOUR BUYER:

Yeah, I mean… is it like a classroom?

YOU:

I wouldn’t do it if it was. That’s energy sapping.

YOUR BUYER:

It is!

YOU:

And it’s so much more than that… It’s about creating the environment where people want to learn, I think…

YOUR BUYER:

Oh good…

YOU:

I haven’t met the adult yet who wants to sit and rote learn…

YOUR BUYER:

I was terrible at it…

YOU:

That system wasn’t designed for our success…

YOUR BUYER:

So true!

YOU:

We want to succeed, in a way that has meaning for us…

YOUR BUYER:

Yes!

YOU:

And it’s so much more than that… We want to be in the driver’s seat, driving our own progress, so we can be that example for our kids…

There’s a lot going on in this exchange. The ‘It’s so much more than that…’ is used twice.

NOTICE:  I didn’t rush to get there  It’s used to chunk up to a higher purpose around which we can unite  The movement of the ‘I’ statements, to the ‘we’…  The use of ‘that’…  The ‘Us’ versus ‘Them’ statements…

HERE’S ANOTHER EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I have to do this so I can learn how to be effective in my communication.

YOU:

And it’s so much more than that, isn’t it?

YOUR BUYER:

(Unsure, but wanting it to be more…) Yes.

YOU:

It’s about you wanting to be that person who truly makes a difference, through helping others…

YOUR BUYER:

That would be awesome…

NOTICE:  I’ve gone up the Hierarchy of Ideas  I’ve gone up the Hierarchy of Language  The 4R’s

SO MANY PEOPLE… THIS LANGUAGE PATTERN FORCES US, IN OUR MINDS TO WANT TO BE PART OF THE EXCLUSIVE GROUP WHO ‘GET IT’.

Remember, we’re driven to experience Belonging, Significance, and Contribution. If we can join something that does all three, it’s perfect.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I like the idea of working with people…

YOU:

Hmmm…

YOUR BUYER:

It sounds like it would be rewarding.

Notice how your buyer is describing how it could be. They are not engaged emotionally in this, themselves. They say they think it ‘sounds like it…’ rather than saying ‘It would be…’ That’s distancing themselves from the experience and thus from commitment.

YOU:

It is rewarding. So many people are only interested in helping themselves. It’s great to connect with someone who gets this is really about others.

What can they say to that?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes, it is.

Now they’re talking about it happening to them, instead of as a hypothetical exercise. And if they said it, they had to try it on. Which means, they had to feel it. They’ve just become a little more emotionally connected to this for them, personally.

PURPOSE QUESTIONS PURPOSE QUESTIONS ARE DESIGNED FIRSTLY TO HELP US UNDERSTAND WHAT MOTIVATES YOUR BUYER, SO WE CAN HELP THEM MAKE A BUYING DECISION THAT SUITS THEM AND THEY’LL LOVE; AND SECONDLY, SO THAT WE CAN HELP YOUR BUYER FEEL CLOSELY CONNECTED TO WHAT THEY’RE EXPERIENCING WITH YOU.

Unless we know the value of something in terms of how it will help us, we aren’t connected to it.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

What’s the reason this is important?

YOUR BUYER:

I think it would be great for my team.

YOU:

Terrific. So you think it will help your team?

In this example, we understand the benefit to the person, but because the benefit is not for your buyer personally, it’s not enough to cause them to want to buy. The idea is to keep going until you understand what’s in it for them. Until they articulate that, they aren’t feeling it. And if they’re not feeling it, they’re not buying.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

What’s the reason this is important?

YOUR BUYER:

I think it would be great for my team.

YOU:

Terrific. So you think it would help your team? How?

YOUR BUYER:

It would get them focused.

YOU:

Okay. And how come that’s important, do you think?

YOUR BUYER:

I guess I’ve been seeing them lose their way a little lately…

YOU:

Hmmm. So this will give you a way of helping them find their way again…

YOUR BUYER:

Yeah, I guess it would.

YOU:

How come that’s important to you… (Said in command, not questioning tone, hence no question mark).

YOUR BUYER:

I want them to succeed.

YOU:

Yeah, I sense that. It matters.

YOUR BUYER:

It does.

YOU:

And have you thought about how this will improve things for you, personally?

YOUR BUYER:

Yeah. I guess I’ll feel good they’re succeeding…

YOU:

Hmmm… That’s important to you…

So here we’ve elevated the thinking up on Self to a Higher Purpose than simply, ‘more focus’. We’ve elevated the benefit to them feeling good that others are succeeding. That’s about as good as it gets in elevating the thinking with the question, or the variation of the question, ‘For what purpose…’

THE THREE BEST WORDS TO USE THERE ARE SOME WORDS TO AVOID, WHICH WE’RE COMING TO. AND THERE ARE SOME WORDS TO USE, WHICH ARE MAGICAL.

Just like any magic (apparently; so I’ve heard), you don’t want to overdo it.

THE MAGIC WORDS: YOU:

So, Helen, you seem to be clear on what you want.

YOUR BUYER:

Thanks.

YOU:

So many people don’t have that clarity. Because of that, they don’t make the progress that’s possible. But I think that’s true of anything…

Their name. The word you. The word because. We are drawn into the story when we hear these words.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

You, like me, enjoy a challenge, because we know it’s about growth, Helen.

There is also the ‘like me’ embedded command, there, too.

FEEL FELT FOUND BY EMPATHISING WITH HOW THEY FEEL, YOU ARE BUILDING RAPPORT….

…When you talk about how somebody else felt, you move the focus to a more

objective place which they are likely to trust more. This as the effect of making them a part of a group so they don’t feel alone.

…When they are attached to that group, then you move the whole group by

telling how the person in the group changed their mind. The buyer, being attached to the group, should change their mind at the same time as they move with them.

First empathise with them, telling them that you understand how they feel. Then tell them about somebody who felt the same way. Then tell them how that other person found that things were not so bad and that when they did what you want the buyer to do they found that it was actually a very good thing to do.

FOR EXAMPLE:

I understand you feel about that. Many others have felt the same way. And what they have found is that.... I know how you feel that it looks rough. I had a person in here yesterday who felt the same when they first looked at it. But when they tried it on they found that it was so comfortable. You know I feel the same about products when I first see them. I felt the same recently when I bought a new car. But when I took it home for the weekend, I found that everyone I know was so envious.

FEEL –

I REALLY GET HOW YOU FEEL

FELT –

A LOT OF OUR CURRENT STUDENTS HAVE SAID THAT’S HOW THEY FELT...

FOUND –

AND ONCE THEY GOT STARTED THEY FOUND...

TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO THINK THIS SOUNDS A LOT HARSHER THAN IT IS (ALTHOUGH WHEN I WAS TAUGHT THIS, BY A GUY, EVERYONE LOVED IT, SO MAYBE IT’S CHICKS THAT SEEM HARSH WHEN THEY SAY THIS? ANYWAY…)

I’ve just told you what to think… I gave you a contrast to a potential objection, and linked it to gender, and pointed out ‘everyone’ loved it. This means that if you don’t love it, you’re sexist. How about this (you’re looking for them now, huh?)… I’ve just done it again. What I put in the brackets was a mind read, and paced your current experience, which compels you to listen more intently, because my words seem to be matching your thoughts.

HERE’S ANOTHER ONE:

How come you’re studying this content? Is it because you struggle with sales? Or is it a love of sales that compels you to do even better…

Firstly, by putting the ‘?’ on the first choice, it became less appealing for some reason than the second choice, which faded away. Also, we tend to select the last choice we’re given. And we generally pick the choice that makes us look good. So, Choice #2, huh? Even though inside, Choice #1 may have some truth… Good choice.

Also, by giving you the two choices, I’ve eliminated any other potential reason. Your thinking narrowed to the two choices I gave you. You may have thought of another choice, but choice two was so compelling and sounded so good…

Because people want to look good in the eyes of others, we’ll generally inflate our selfimage, so when given choices, and one of them is obviously an indicator of character, generosity, resilience, or anything that has heroic qualities, we’ll take on that choice. This ties in with the seeding section and cognitive dissonance. We are going to agree with the seeds which propel us up the totem of human qualities, and once we’ve done that, we can’t back out, without making ourselves into a liar. And we can’t do that.

SO, IF I SAY TO YOU: YOU SEEM PRETTY DETERMINED AS A PERSON. You’re not going to want to argue with me. You’ve been assigned a positive attribute. You’ll now go searching in your archives for where this is true. You’ll remember (even if it’s the one and only time), you behaved in way that demonstrated the characteristic of determination. And you will agree with me. And now you have positioned yourself, according to the Law of Consistency, as someone who is determined.

So when we come to the later steps, when it’s down to making an actual decision, and you’re feeling anxious about making a decision, I might say to you: Determination means dong what needs to be done, huh? You recall your characteristic of determination. You agree. You put aside your anxiety for this new quality you’re now noticing more and more in you. You are much more determined than you’d previously given yourself credit for. LET’S DO THIS, YOU THINK. AND YOU’RE RIGHT.

If you’re thinking this is manipulation, I’m stopping you right now (and if I was a guy, you’d be cool with that, so maybe I should say this in a softer, more feminine way?) We have within us all qualities and characteristics. Some may be more noticeable than others. One of the best things I learned from over a decade of coaching is that we have any resource we can think of within us. It may lie dormant, for now. But by focusing on it, it magnifies and becomes more active. Whatever the characteristics required to succeed with your TofA, I suggest you plant those seeds within your buyer, so that they begin to focus on them and magnify them, so they are obvious to them.

This will increase their chance of success, so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good thing to do anyway.

HIERARCHY OF IDEAS CHUNKING UP AGREEMENT

"What is this an example of?" "For what purpose...?" "What is your intention...?"

IN MEDIATION, CHUNK UP TO GET AGREEMENT. CHUNK-UP UNTIL YOU GET A NOMINALISATION.

The Structure of Intuition: The ability to chunk up to find connections and relationships, then to chunk back down and relate to the current situation. It's rare to find a large chunker who sorts for information -they are usually small chunkers. "What are examples of this?" "What specifically...?" Any Meta Model questions

DETAILS & DISTINCTIONS

CHUNKING DOWN (AD Type)

IN TRANCE

(Intuitor)

BIG PICTURE ABSTRACT – MILTON MODEL

The Structure of Overwhelm: Too Big Chunks Existence Movement Transportation Buses – Boats – Cars – Planes – Trains

Classes & Categories

Parts

1. BMW, Pontiac

1. Wheels, Doors

2. Fiero

2. Hub Caps

3. GT

3. Lug Nuts

The Structure of Nit-Picking: Chunking Down & Mismatching SPECIFIC – META MODEL

DETAILS (Sensor) OUT OF TRANCE

WHEN WE HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE, THEY ARE ENTERING THE CONVERSATION BASED ON THEIR UNDERSTANDING OF THE WORLD.

They ‘see’ the conversation in terms of their experience, not necessarily in way that would serve them or help them or improve their lives. Conversation can be seen in many perspectives. One of these perspectives is the Hierarchy of Ideas. This means that people experience conversations based on their level of specificity or their level of abstraction. SOME PEOPLE SPEAK IN SPECIFIC DETAILS. SOME PEOPLE SPEAK IN THE BIG PICTURE. SOME PEOPLE SPEAK SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE TWO. Wherever someone speaks ‘from’ in terms of levels, becomes their experience of the world. The big picture person doesn’t see or value the details, so to talk about the minute details of something would cause them to disengage. Someone who loves the details would be bored and distracted if you started talking about the big picture, the concept and the mission of something. Some people are so rigid about this that to go outside of their language preference would cause them discomfort and to pull away from you. Having said this, the decision making process that causes someone to stick with their decision involves movement up and down the Hierarchy of Ideas to agree to points along this hierarchy. The best ‘stick rates’ occur when we cover the entire hierarchy, in a certain way.

Details THE DETAIL LANGUAGE INCLUDES WORDS LIKE: □ Details □ Nitty gritty □ Finer points □ Small □ Steps □ Process □ Necessity

Big picture THE BIG PICTURE INCLUDES WORDS LIKE: □ Big picture □ Concept □ Idea □ All □ Every □ Possibility □ Potential □ Vision From a hierarchy point of view, we need to firstly identify where someone prefers to language their experience – remember, language shapes experience, it doesn’t just report it – and then ‘chain’ them to another level. By doing this, you create a feeling of high value within them. If you go too far, and jump them to a much different level to where they prefer, they will disconnect. The idea is to ‘chain’ them – one level at a time, to get them a little way away from where they’re at. By doing this, they ‘feel’ differently and feel perceived value from the conversation. They have gone through a ‘boundary condition’ and thus link speaking with you as a high value thing to do.

FOR EXAMPLE THEY SAY:

Can you take me through the steps involved, please.

YOU:

Sure. Happy to. The steps are designed to give you the most access to experiencing the results you want.

We’ve taken them from ‘process’ to ‘results’. The next exchange may be like this… YOU:

And by getting those results, you can start to see how this creates an impact and real difference in how you approach business.

I’ve just gone another level up.

Now, another level up… YOU:

And, I guess by growing our flexibility about how we approach business, we can begin to develop our vision beyond today, and really start to grow our legacy…

Now, you need to calibrate your buyer when you do this. You need to be able to gauge what they respond to and where they look ‘maxed out’. You don’t just say all these lines at them and hope they respond well. It’s about speaking their language, stretching them a little to the next level and then a little more, all the time noticing if they’re responding well.

THINK OF THE HIERARCHY IN TERMS OF ABSTRACTION DOWN TO SPECIFICITY.

TO GET TO THE HIGHER LEVELS OF ABSTRACTION, WE NEED TO ANSWER:

For what purpose? What is this an example of? How is this of benefit? What is the higher intention of this?

These questions cause our minds to go up in our thinking. So, someone asks what’s involved in the program, for example, and you simply answer the question at their level of abstraction, they will have an answer, but they will not have a feeling about what you’ve told them. You’ve met their factual question with facts. Nothing has changed in them. You became an information booth, so they aren’t attracted to you. You’re Google on the phone. Big deal. Compared to this… What’s involved in the program? It’s a mix of face to face and online classes, designed to help you discover the system you want, so you can have those results – it’s interactive, so there’s a level of personal experience that will build your ability to really drive that difference you want to make… Now, I could keep going up, but that’s far enough in one statement.

I took them from SYSTEMS, to RESULTS, to INTERACTIVE, to PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, to THAT DIFFERENCE YOU WANT TO MAKE… That’s a lot of moves along the hierarchy. Notice the language becomes more abstract, more vague and more conceptual. The words need to be nominalisations (see section). At the bottom of the hierarchy you would tend to use words like need, must, got to… At the higher levels you would tend to use words like possibility, potential, change agent, the greater good… Every now and then it’s useful to also chunk down the hierarchy to the specifics. For example, if a buyer is mainly a big picture person, they won’t make a decision until they are grounded in what must happen. They will avoid the decision as long as they stay dreaming about it.

SO, THEY SAY:

I love the idea of helping people, it’s such a rewarding thing and I’m so moved when I see what can be done, it’s like I’ve been doing this forever, you know, and I just, I just really feel and connect with the possibilities… (and on they go…)

YOU:

Hmmm…

Stay silent, now. They have just put themselves out there, you can’t just chunk down to specifics straight away, it would be too shocking to them and break rapport. Also, whilst we’re going to chain our way down, as we did with chaining up, if we do it when they’re in this emotional state they won’t go. It’s too much about what’s in their heads. You wouldn’t even need to be here for this conversation. They’re talking like this to themselves all the time. And, importantly, they talk themselves all the time like this and DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. If you just do the same talk with them, and don’t move them to somewhere else, you’ll simply be more self-talk they will add to their expansive repertoire and carry on as if you weren’t there. Remember, you just said: Hmmm… This will cause them to come out of rapport with the sound of their own voice. They will have to pause, because you did not act the way they were counting on to continue the dreaming without action. Then, after a moment, you say: This seems important to you. The word ‘seems’… wow, what a word.

That word fires up the person’s need to justify themselves to you, so they’re about to talk themselves into buying the program. It is also lower on the hierarchy than ‘important’. It’s our first step down into reality. THEY SAY:

It is! It so is!

Remember, they were uncomfortable because of your ‘hmmm’. And then you pointed out something which they can grasp onto. So they will. They will hang onto the safe ground of familiar territory of how much this means to them. Although something has now changed. Now they are telling you why this matters, and because they’re responded to YOU and not themselves, you now control the conversation. So now YOU can take it where it needs to go, instead of just circling the same level of abstraction where dreams happen and nothing else. You: Seems you’re clear on this and its importance. You’re getting them lower in the hierarchy, more into reality. ‘Clear on this’ is a lower level of abstraction than, ‘importance’. And again, that word, ‘seems’ is going to fire up the need to justify themselves. And we’ve just moved them from ‘importance’ to ‘clear on this’. We’ve linked ‘importance’ with ‘clear on this’ in their minds. Also see the section on Phonetic ambiguity. So now, we’ve done some mind reading that ‘importance’ is the same, or equivalent’ to ‘clear on this’. But we know that ‘clear on this’ is down one level on the hierarchy, so we’ve moved them closer to a decision. Again, they were not going to make a decision if they stayed in, ‘it’s so important’ and nothing else. We’ve got them to, ‘clear on this’. THEY SAY:

Yes.

YOU:

Your passion is the difference, to make this happen.

We’ve taken ‘it’s important’ to be equal on the hierarchy to ‘passion’. They can’t say, ‘I’m not passionate’. See the section on Law of Consistency and Commitment. And we’ve moved them from ‘important’ to ‘make this happen’.

That’s getting way more specific than where we began. THEY SAY:

I’m so passionate! or something like that.

As long as they respond on the same approximate level of abstraction, we’re going to keep going. You’re now going to ease up on them. Going down the hierarchy is more challenging than going up, so we need to reassure them at this point, or we’ll disconnect them from what’s going on. We have to keep them associated into the conversation and its significance or they’ll disengage. So make a comment on the same logical level. YOU:

Tell me, where does your passion come from?

I’m now reassuring this person through having them look into themselves for the source of their passion. By searching for that source, they’re accepting (1) they’re passionate; (2) they can find it; (3) it means that they can make it happen. This is because whatever we placed on the same logical level as ‘passion’ just got accepted, the moment they go searching for the answer. See section on complex equivalence. THEY SAY:

Stuff about their passion.

YOU:

Hmmm…

Again, be a little underwhelmed by their response. Be a little understated. They will feel, and not realise it, that they have to impress you more, or that they haven’t impressed you enough, and will dig deeper into the source of their now-completely-unwavering-can’t-youfeel-it-passion. THEY SAY:

Something…

YOU:

I think I get it.

Like you’re really thinking about what they’ve said. It’s got to be real. You can’t be thinking about the dinner you had last night. You’ve got to try it on for yourself and decide, is what they’ve said enough to cause them to want to take action? If not, you don’t get it. And you need to say so. SO, YOU:

Hmmm… I think I’m getting it…

The difference between ‘get’ and ‘getting’ it. See section on past, now and future. By saying, ‘I get it’, you’re saying you’ve got it. By saying, ‘I think I’m getting it’, you’re saying you’re not there yet. And the idea here is to be honest, whichever it is. Or you’re not going to close them on the real stuff for them. YOU:

I’m seeing that your passion is going to be needed, it’s so important, and so many people don’t have it…

Getting ready for a drop down the hierarchy here… THEY SAY:

Something like, ‘Really?’ or ‘I think so…’ or ‘How so?’ or…

Whatever, they’ve just dropped to this level on the hierarchy, where the passion is needed. Which switched from, ‘I love this’, to the word, ‘need’. That’s low on the hierarchy. And again, I’ve bundled it in amongst the words they love and have already accepted as vital to them. YOU:

What’s the plan, <NAME>, to bring this passion to life?

You’ve just moved them from, ‘Yay this is awesome, yay, yay blah..’ to a real conversation about what actually has to occur to make this reality. This shit is now getting real. They won’t have a plan. They have never thought in terms of plans. They have been living on the air of the dream. They won’t know how to answer the question. No one likes not being able to answer the question. We all like to think we know everything there is to know about our own awesome selves. And we like to admit we don’t know even less. You let them off the hook after a brief pause. YOU:

Every great mind who brought their passion to life needed a plan, don’t you think?

THEY SAY:

Yes, or something…

You’ve just equated their passion with ‘great minds’, just when they were feeling a little daunted by knowing how to bring their passion to life. Whew.

YOU:

I guess I’m seeing why we’re talking, <NAME>. The passion is there. You know its importance. You’ve reached the point where it’s time to bring it to life, so it’s time for what the best minds do, which is gather a team around them to plan it out, so it can come to life.

A FEW THINGS HERE: Notice I didn’t say, ‘so it can become reality’. That would turn them off. The word ‘reality’ is too much like… ‘reality’ for them. Notice I reaffirmed what we’ve already agreed on, a number of times. By going back over the same ground, we’re firing up the anchors around those strong and trusted feelings. See the section on anchoring. Notice I’ve told them that, ‘you’ve reached the point where it’s time to bring it to life…’ There’s a few things going on there. ‘You’ve reached the point where…’ is a mind read which if they disagree with, they will feel like a loser, because I linked it, again, to ‘great minds’. How can they disagree with that? And then I’ve linked ‘great minds’ to the solution. Which is us. And which is getting specific. It’s now a team and it’s now getting a plan. They will probably ask, now, ‘So how does it work?’ We’ve taken someone stuck up in the clouds with their self-talk and their dreams down the hierarchy to, ‘How does it work?’ We’ve gone from ‘Why this matters’, down to, ‘What matters’, down to, ‘How to make it work’. Those three levels are essential to cover for the sale to occur and then to stick.

Language for the Different Levels on the Hierarchy BIG PICTURE □ Let’s have a look at what matters here… □ The big picture is really about… □ The idea is… □ For what purpose…? □ What’s the intention here…

MID-LEVEL □ Let’s look at the choices… □ Tell me about what you’re seeing as the different ways to go… □ There’s a few ways we can go…

DETAILS □ So let’s have a look at the bits and pieces… □ Leave how that happens to us, that’s our job… □ The program is in three different part, would you like to hear about the details, or…?

COMBINING FOR EMOTIONAL EFFECT For me, the big picture is about making a difference, so I guess I’m more interested in how to do that, than getting it perfect… I think too many people worry about getting it perfect, instead of getting something started, so they do nothing but worry about what they should be doing…

LEVELS OF THINKING PRETTY WELL EVERYONE IS LIT UP WHEN YOU LANGUAGE SENTENCES IN A CERTAIN WAY.

It’s as if by saying these magical words, the person listening expands, wants to succeed and wants to be a better person.|

Language in Levels of Thinking BELONGING □ I think it matters that we don’t do it alone… □ Sometimes what we need most to is to know we’re not alone… □ Being connected with like-minded people is not something many people have… □ Too many people do it alone… □ I think having a community of people to support us matters… POWER □ You sound like someone who likes to make things happen… □ Sometimes we just have to say ‘yes’ to ourselves… □ When was the last time you said ‘yes’ to you… □ No one makes a mark sitting on the couch… □ Making a difference takes a willingness to have a go… □ Sometimes it’s about demanding more of ourselves than we have before… □ Sometimes it’s about realising we’re worth it… □ This will help you by… SYSTEMS □ I think it’s going to be important to give you the steps for this… □ The process is all about progress to the results… RESULTS □ If we can get clear on the steps, we tend to get the results… □ The results are satisfying, but helping people is the point… UNIFICATION □ We know we’re on track when we make a difference…

HIERARCHY OF WORDS WHEN IT COMES TO LANGUAGE, THE MIND ORGANISES THEM UNCONSCIOUSLY DEPENDING ON RELEVANCE, SIGNIFICANCE, IMPORTANCE, AND ‘POUNDAGE’.

Poundage is the ‘weight’ the words carry. In our minds different words carry different ‘weights’. The word ‘love’ for example, is lighter than the word, ‘hate’, which is heavy. Possibilities has a lighter poundage than the word Necessities. If we build our muscle around recognising where different words sit on the hierarchy, we will know how to best directionalise your buyer’s mind. Sometimes it’s more appropriate to use the lighter words, sometimes it’s more appropriate to use the heavier words. Knowing the difference means we get there faster. Firstly, we need to know what bundles of words fit together.

1. Modal operators LIGHTER: Can… Want to… Love to… Like to… Desire… MEDIUM: Committed to… Determined to… HEAVY: Must… Need to… Got to… Have to… FOR EXAMPLE:

We can talk about that, sure. It’s the conversation that has to happen.

In this sentence, your buyer started with ‘can’, and we accepted their ‘can’, said it back to them, and then upped the poundage to, ‘has to…’

2. Nominalisations A nominalisation is a noun that has no form and cannot be detected by the senses. They are indicated by the words: 

Time



Significance



Theme



Love



Interpretations



Results



Hope



Mindset



Solution



Trust



Willingness



Encouragement



Feelings



Insight



Requirement



Levels



Clutter



Kindness



Understanding



Adventure



Compassion



Knowledge



Talent



Eagerness



Senses



Choices



Enthusiasm



Line in the sand



Ideas



Playfulness



Determination



Possibilities



Respect



Commitment



Potential



Composure



Focus



Opportunities



Rebellion



Purpose



Certainty



Reliance



Qualities



Contribution



Realisation



Attributes



Variety



Confusion



Collaboration



Growth



Misunderstanding



Study



Compulsion



Calmness



Moment



Fraction



Journey



Concentration



Part



Pathway



Disappointment



Separation



Extroversion



Wealth



Indication



Steps

Nominalisations are powerful words to direct your buyer’s mind, as they conjure up many different images, choices, and ideas in their mind. :) By using them, there are new opportunities made available to us, in this moment. It’s a new level of communication, filled with a wealth of interpretations. If we bring our concentration, and our sense of adventure, we can see the ideas, the possibilities and the potential in this moment.

It seems, perhaps, I’m not saying much. But notice (1) you can’t disagree with me, and (2) you are feeling kind of stoned and good, for no real reason, and (3) you wondering where this will go next…

IT’S COMPELLING LANGUAGE. IT’S WHATEVER WORD GOES IN THE BLANK:

It’s about the … Sometimes we really need … With … we can do this.

Once we get the hang of nominalisations, we then can realise that they have different levels of significance/poundage, and we can then start organising them in the hierarchy. When we speak, if we speak to build up the hierarchy, your buyer will feel more and more commitment for the conversation. So the idea is to order a sequence of nominalisations that go up the hierarchy, from least to most powerful.

FOR EXAMPLE:

I guess the understanding around this for some people is a challenge. The awareness needs to improve, I think. With appreciation comes the willingness for people to apply it and have that achievement of great results. When we do that, we can really start making that great impact.

Notice the adjectives here too.

SPATIAL LANGUAGE WE DON’T REALISE IT, BUT WHAT WE DO IS CREATE OUR EXPERIENCE OF SOMETHING THROUGH HOW WE LANGUAGE SOMETHING.

If we language something a certain way, we will experience something that way.

FOR EXAMPLE:

THAT SEEMS HARD.

VERSUS:

THAT SEEMS CHALLENGING.

The first is harder than the second. Even if we’re describing the same experience or event, we have just created two different experiences of it.

HERE’S ANOTHER: I UNDERSTAND THIS. I APPRECIATE THIS.

The first is only about comprehension, the second is about how much we accept it. The second is more attractive than the first. Spatial language is placement of words in certain locations, which then create a different experience. For example, the word ‘there’ has a different location to the word ‘here’. There is further away from us than the word here. And the word ‘it’ has a different location to the word ‘that’. It is closer than the word that.

ADD TO THIS THE POWER OF LOCATION WORDS THAT ARE MORE SPECIFIC:

Beyond… Passed… Moving… Around… Over… Through… Progress… These words describe how we can progress, without actually saying we’re progressing. But everything that moves someone in language, is moving them closer to the close.

FOR EXAMPLE:

I think it’s about going beyond the challenge and beginning to see the possibilities. To succeed people must move passed the challenge, or nothing changes, and they stay stuck. Getting around obstacles and getting over the setbacks is how we get through life, it’s how we progress and triumph. Ultimately, success is made up of those moments.

Wow. There is a lot going on there. There are presuppositions, spatial language, nominalisations, Hierarchy of Language and more…

PRESUPPOSITIONS LANGUAGE IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL TOOLS WE HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO INFLUENCING OTHERS.

The idea, when speaking, is to say what will ‘directionalise’ your buyer’s thoughts. This means – control and direct their thoughts in the direction you want them to go. There is no point in chatting for the sake of chatting. Whilst it feels great, it does not move anything forward. It creates the opposite effect, in that your buyer stops listening to you as a respected adviser and you become one of any number of conversations they’ve had that day. They can chat with anyone. You must create a conversation in such a way that they can’t have that experience anywhere else. It has to be an experience that can’t be replicated by others. They must get off the phone thinking: That was amazing. To do this, you must use language patterns that are unique and cause emotions and thoughts within your buyer that they can’t create alone, have never had before, and want more of.

A REGULAR CONVERSATION:

Do you like marketing? A DIRECTIONALISED CONVERSATION:

What do you think is the most significant part of effective marketing?

The first question is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question, requiring no thought, no emotional commitment, and no desire to stretch themselves. The second question requires thought, having an opinion, and more importantly – by considering the answer to this question, they have to commit to the fact that marketing is significant, that there are more and less significant parts to marketing and that they have a view on this. By answering the question, they have shown their commitment to at least some aspect of marketing.

If you’re offering a marketing program, they have just agreed, without discussing what you have, that marketing is important. Significant, even. This type of language is called ‘presuppositional’ language. Presuppositions are linguistic assumptions. Your buyer has to ‘try on’ the question you’ve asked, even if it’s to disagree with it. The action of ‘trying it on’ in their mind will cause some shift to occur in them regardless of their logical response to the question. By ‘trying it on’ in their minds, they can’t then revert back to where they were in their thinking. Something has shifted. Even if the answer to the second question is, ‘I don’t know’, they still had to consider the question, and more importantly – they had to accept the presuppositions in your question to answer the question. They had to accept that there is an aspect of marketing that’s more significant than another aspect.

THESE ARE PRESUPPOSITIONS. A PRESUPPOSITION ONLY NEEDS TO BE PLAUSIBLE TO BE ACCEPTED.

What can you assume in your question, that by assuming it, your buyer must accept them to make sense of the question?

Existence – The presupposition of existence is how you get someone to accept an idea.

I’m wondering what has to change… The presupposition is that there is something, and it has to change. Now your buyer will search for what has to change. In doing so, they had to accept the presupposition that there is something.

Awareness – Awareness presuppositions are indicated by the senses. Notice, Hear, Sense, Understand, Feel, See, Love…

What are you seeing as the next steps…

We’ve presupposed there are steps, that they have to be taken, and that your buyer can see what they are. Notice (presupposition) that there are several presuppositions in this sentence, so more is accepted, so more has changed as a result of this question. Even if your buyer doesn’t know what they are, they’ve accepted the presupposition that there are next steps.

Cause and Effect – Where one thing causes another. Indicated by the sentence structures:

Because… If… then… Makes… You’re curious because it matters…’ If we look at the numbers, then we can see where we need to go next… It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

This is one of the most powerful presuppositions. To say that one thing causes another is to directionalise your buyer’s thinking significantly.

WHAT ABOUT THIS…

It’s because this matters. I get that. I get why we’re talking. Sometimes, if we’ve had enough of a setback, then we’re going to have to ask some different questions. It makes you think, and that’s important, isn’t it?

In this sentence, your buyer will answer the last part of the question, ‘…isn’t it?’ and agree. But by doing so, what they’ve actually done is accepted every other part of the statement before that, too.

They’ve accepted: It matters. There’s something that exists that matters. You get it. And you know what ‘it’ is. They’re understood. They had a setback. They’re going to ask different questions. It’s made them think. The setback caused the questions. It’s important.

Complex Equivalence – This is where one thing means something else. It’s a powerful way to link ideas, and to have one idea become related to and equal to another idea. It’s indicated by the word, ‘means…’ You’re being here means there’s questions you’re asking yourself… We’ve just given a reason for them being there which is plausible, and will cause your buyer to search within for the questions they’re asking themselves. This will mean that they will be more likely to accept questions from you, because they’re now open to the idea.

Adjective/Adverb – This is all about the interesting and powerful words you add before you powerfully communicate.

The interested person will do what’s convenient. The committed person will do what it takes. How many times have you seen feeble efforts be rewarded? Sometimes we have to ask ourselves different questions…

The deepest desire for many is to make a significant difference…

The adjectives and adverbs are taking away any question about the existence of the noun. This is so cool. The adjectives/adverbs cause the nouns to be accepted and presupposed to be true. So it’s about, in the first sentence, the person. The person exists. That’s accepted. Now it’s about what type of person. So we’re saying, are you an interested person, who’s only really going to do what’s convenient? Or are you that other type of person, who’s committed? In the next sentence, it’s not about efforts. It’s about ‘feeble’ efforts. So the question about if it’s an effort is already answered. Yes, there is. Now it’s about the type of effort.

Possibility – These presuppositions are indicated by what are called modal operators. MUST… NEED TO… GOT TO… HAVE TO… WANT TO… DETERMINED TO… LOVE TO… CAN… MAY… MIGHT… SHOULD…

By choosing from this menu, we determine in your buyer’s mind how strongly to feel about the subject, as well as removing any question about the subject.

I guess some people don’t feel the need to succeed… Sometimes we have to face our fears. It’s not what we should do. It’s what we choose to do. If we can learn this, then we must see the changes we want.

The last example has combined the presuppositions of cause and effect, and possibility. There is also the presupposition on existence, with the word changes. Notice how what we can do over here is going to lead to and give us what we want over there. It’s not about if there is change. It’s not about whether we can have the change. It’s now about what we can learn to have it.

Time/Tempural Predicates –

This is such a powerful presupposition. It’s indicated by words such as: NOW… STOP… YET… SOON… THEN… MOVING FORWARD… FUTURE… END… PAST… SOMETIMES… WHEN… It’s also more subtly indicated by the placement of ‘ed’… Ended… Wasted…

FOR EXAMPLE, IF WE SAY:

We’re using that… it tells us we’re in the process, right now, of using it. COMPARED TO,

We’ve used that… which tells us the action of usage is over and done with.

It can also be indicated by the word: Did…

Did you do this? implies it was meant to be done, versus needs to be done in the future. This can be very powerful for directionalising thoughts in terms of what to focus on, what to let go of, what to notice, what to move on from.

The future is now… When we can see the way forward, it gets easier…

This also has the presupposition of how it will be done, which is ‘easier’. There is also the presupposition of awareness. And it presupposes there is a way forward. Other great ways to move the conversation forward in time, and have your buyer imagine they’re using your TofA:

As you… When you… Sometimes it’s time to know… People have done that…

Occasionally we find… …this one is powerful, as people are naturally on the lookout for the thing that’s different. ‘Occasionally’ suggests it’s worthy of more attention than anything else. It’s that tiger in the grass thing we’ve discussed.

Ordinal – This is a list, and is indicated by the words: NEXT… AND… THEN…

It has a way of causing your buyer’s mind to move forward.

I think the next thing to do is… … and then… Then we need to get clear on how to make this great for your team…

Exclusive/Inclusive or – These are indicated by the word (shockingly): OR… It’s a way to force choice and to bring the conversation to narrow alternatives.

We can do that now, or… Some people wait, and then wonder what happened, or they over analyse…

MILTON LANGUAGE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE PATTERNS ARE WONDERFUL AND POWERFUL LANGUAGE PATTERNS MOVING YOUR BUYER CLOSER TO A BUYING DECISION.

Their power is in their ambiguity, which displaces resistance, which causes your buyer to search for how your statement is true. This means, as they find ways what you’ve said is true, they will accept more of what you said without question and then go with your suggestions. Again, the statements need to be plausible to be accepted without resistance. The idea is for your words to become their thoughts.

Mind read: Claiming to know the thoughts or feelings of another without specifying the process by which you came to know the information. By suggesting they’re wondering, they begin to notice how they were wondering, which causes them to find where they were wondering, which displaces resistance to your words, and causes agreement, which causes… sales.

I know that you are wondering...

Lost performative: Value judgments (which may include an unspecified comparison) where the performer of the value judgment is left out. By not specifying who said it, the listener can’t disagree, or judge the sentence. They can only accept it, which causes more agreement.

And it’s a good thing to wonder...

PUTTING IT TOGETHER SO FAR:

I know you’re wondering. And it’s a good thing to wonder…

Cause & effect: Where it is implied that one thing causes another. (Including attribution of cause outside of self.) This is also covered in Presuppositions and worth reviewing there. Cause and effect is so powerful as language patterns to cause agreement, because the sentence linkage causes the listener to go where you lead them. If you use them, then the listener can’t really disagree, and as they listen more, they find they’ve move further into the conversation than they realised.

IMPLIED CAUSATIVES INCLUDE: a.

C>E makes (the verb to make)

If... then...

As you... then you... Because...

If we focus on what you’re here to achieve, we’ll be able to see where we can take this.

Notice the cause and effect is implied by the removal of the word ‘then’. Also, notice how it meets the standard of being plausible. But look at the statement again – is it necessarily true that one thing, ‘If we focus on what you’re here to achieve…’ will necessary and absolutely lead to being ‘able to see where we can take this’?

The two are a loose correlation at best. They are not a causation. But it became a causation by adding the linking words, ‘if’ and ‘then’.

Complex Equivalence: Where two things are equated – as in their meanings being equivalent. Where we have one thing mean the other, much changes in your buyer’s mind. We’re taking two perhaps tenuously related topics and binding them with the word, ‘means’. THAT MEANS...

Asking great questions means we’re willing to learn. There are always obstacles, I guess. It comes down to what we’re willing to despite them Notice the implied equivalence. Sometimes what we achieved in our past can’t be the limit to our future. We can’t be defined by that. Again, the implied equivalence. One thing, in this case, not equalling another.

Universal Quantifier: A set of words which has: a. universal generalization and b. no referential index.

This includes words such as: EVERYONE… ALWAYS… NO ONE… EVERYTHING… NOWHERE… ALL… EVERY…

And all the things, all the things... Sometimes it’s about doing it regardless of old patterns. Everyone has moments like that…

It’s not always going to go according to plan. It’s what we do with it that matters.

Notice the all inclusive words are once again making it a challenge to disagree with any part of the statements. They are, as always, plausible. They are all inclusive and expansive.

Modal Operator: Words, which implies possibility or necessity, which often form our rules in life.

That you can learn... We can look at that. What must happen…

Depending on which modal operator we choose, we can up the pressure or reduce the pressure in the conversation… I guess it comes down to what must happen now… Some people never move past what should happen, and commit to the musts that make it happen…

Tag Question: A question added after a statement, designed to displace resistance.

Can you not? It’s a big thing, isn’t it? Some people don’t ever come to that realisation, hey?

Comparative Deletion (Unspecified Comparison):

Where the comparison is made and it is not specified as to what or whom it was made. This is an important language pattern. In plain English, when one thing is compared to another, even when it’s only implied, it becomes more accepted.

IT’S INDICATED BY WORDS SUCH AS:  Better than…  Worse…  Best…  Most…  Least…

When we say to our buyer, for example: I’m wondering what’s the best way to go… The buyer will search for how it’s the best way to go, or if there’s another way to go. Whatever they’re doing, they’ve accepted there’s a way to go, and now it’s simply about finding the way that’s better…

And it’s more or less the right thing.

Pace Current Experience: Where client’s verifiable, external experience is described in a way, which is undeniable.

You are sitting here, listening to me, looking at me, (etc.)...

Double bind: Where the client is given two choices (both of which are preferable or desired) separated by an “or”.

Sometimes we can move forward, and sometimes we hold ourselves back… That is so cool. This double bind is telling them to either move forward, or be someone who holds themselves back.

Conversational Postulate:

The communication has the form of a question – a question to which the response is either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. If I want you to do something, what else must be present so that you will do it, and out of your awareness? It allows you to choose to respond or not and avoids authoritarianism.

Do you feel this... (punctuation ambiguity) is something you understand? Your buyer can’t say ‘no’ to this – they have to say ‘yes’ to show they’re keeping up. Which moves them and progresses them closer to the ultimate yes.

My favourite:

You, like me, enjoy the…

Utilisation: Remember to utilize all that happens or is said. YOUR BUYER SAYS: I am not sold. RESPONSE:

That’s right you are not sold, yet, because you haven’t asked the one question that will have you totally and completely sold.

Putting it all together: I think it’s great to think about that… Isn’t it? Because so many people don’t give it that time, which means they don’t get the growth or the benefits. Whenever I see the progress that’s possible, I can see where this can be taken, I know that this is worth the effort, in so many ways… All of our searching can sometimes lead to frustration... because it’s about searching within ourselves for our own voice and our own truth... Everyone has a voice, but only some have the courage to find it..’ Every time I do this I reconnect with what really matters to us – contribution...

GETTING TO ‘YES’ THIS IS THE POINT OF WHAT WE DO. UNLESS THERE IS AN EXCHANGE OF MONEY FOR SERVICES OR GOODS, ALL WE DID WAS CHAT, AND NOTHING CHANGED.

The thing is, no one is going to buy if you call them up and say: Do you want to buy my Thing of Awesomeness? It would be great if you did. No one is acting on that awful call to action. So everything we do between ‘hello’, and ‘let’s get you started’, is about getting your buyer to the ‘yes’. If there are no ‘yes’s’ before asking for the business, your buyer will probably say, ‘no’, or ‘I have to think about it’. They have to do this, because they don’t know what happens when they say ‘yes’ to you. We are ‘yes’ averse with sales people. We have to build our confidence with it. We can help by being understated. Don’t be overly enthused when they offer something about themselves or give a ‘buying signal’. Stay cool. Show them that ‘yes’ doesn’t mean you’re suddenly all over them waving a contract. The best way to get lots of ‘yes’s’ is to ask questions that require them to answer. Which will mean you risking the occasional ‘no’. But given they’re definitely going to say ‘no’ if you don’t ask these questions… you see where I’m heading with this.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Are you able to find a few hours each week for the study bit of this? Do you have a space set aside for you so you can give yourself some quiet time? Are you cool if we email you occasionally to see how you’re going? Do you have a diary there? Can you write this down? Is that going to work for you? Are you cool with the initial investment amount?

Is this making sense? How’s this sitting with you?

Sales Killing Words SALES KILLING WORDS –

SALES MAKING WORDS –

Appointment

Time to get together for a chat

Course fees

Your investment

To get started

Pay

Forward

Meeting

Connect

Contract

Fix up/Look after/take care

Long term

Future

Paperwork

Bits and pieces

Follow up

Catch up again

This includes...

What this gives you...

This involves...

What this means for you is...

What this has...

This will give you...

OVERCOMING OBJECTIONS OBJECTIONS HAPPEN WHEN YOUR BUYER FORESEES A PROBLEM THEY DON’T KNOW THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO SOLVE…

…And it worries them that they might be making a mistake, and they’re about to get it wrong, and so they want this problem solved, so they can have peace of mind that they’re not going to look like a loser. OBJECTIONS DO NOT MEAN YOUR BUYER IS SAYING, ‘NO’. IT MEANS THEY’RE AFRAID. Objections are gifts to you. They are the very thoughts that your buyer is having, and they have trusted you enough to share them with you, instead of going away and saying, ‘I need to think about it’. If they go away and think about it without you, they will rarely come back with a good answer for you. You want them to tell you their thoughts, so you can help them right there and then, and give them a different way to look at it. If you don’t do this, they will try to solve the problem they have with no facts to help them think about it differently. They will have no contrasting viewpoints to consider. And if you’re in an industry like ours, your buyer will go home to a barrage of questions that they can’t possibly answer with certainty, unless you’ve helped them. You need to know what the objections are, before you apply these techniques.

THE MAJOR OBJECTIONS ARE: □ I can’t afford it □ I don’t have time □ It won’t work □ What if it doesn’t work for me? □ I’m not good enough

The real objection, when we boil it down, is that they fear not being good enough.

IT’S THEIR FEAR OF WHETHER THEY WILL MAKE THIS ATTEMPT THE ONE. IT’S ABOUT REDEMPTION.

Will this time be different? Will I be different? Will I be able to change things, unlike all those other times? Objections about money, time, and whether it will work are not really about that. No concern is the truth, unless it’s about an internal truth about ourselves.

EXTERNAL OBJECTIONS: □ It’s too expensive □ I don’t have the time □ You need to prove to me this works

THE REAL, TRUTHFUL, OBJECTION (GIVEN YOU CAN DELIVER WHAT YOU’RE OFFERING), IS: AM I GOOD ENOUGH?

Everything you do when it comes to dealing with objections is to have this in mind.

Preframe the Objection This method is about positioning your Thing of Awesomeness as it needs to be so that the objection is negated before it’s voiced. Again, you need to have the objections already worked out.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I love helping people. I think it’s what I’m meant to do.

YOU:

That’s good to know about yourself. So many people make excuses about making the time to serve others. It’s amazing how many people justify not making this a priority.

Done. The objection of time is now taken care of.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I’m doing this for my kids, too.

YOU:

Yup. People can deny the impact they have. Setting the example is a must, I agree.

Done. The objection, ‘Does this work?’ is dealt with.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I’m reading a book on personal development, now.

YOU:

What are you reading?

YOUR BUYER:

XXX

YOU:

Hmm… So many people say they want to play the game of life, but don’t invest in themselves. I wonder how they think it will happen, when they won’t invest in themselves?

Not done, but getting there around the potential objection of money.

LATER: YOU:

We all have time for what matters to us. We invest in exactly what we care about. We always do. We can have hours of TV or we can have hours of personal and professional development. The time will pass anyway. In fact, we can always make more money, but we can never get the time back.

Getting closer…

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

Does this work?

YOU:

Hmmm. Is that really the question?

Never justify yourself and your Thing of Awesomeness. YOUR BUYER:

How do you mean?

You’ve also done a ‘break state, because they don’t know where this is going…

YOU:

Not everyone makes it. Not everyone makes this work. They receive the same training, and have access to the same content and support. Some people do nothing. Some people sour and just go for it. What do you think the difference is?

YOUR BUYER:

Good point. Some people use it. And some people don’t.

YOU:

Yes.

YOUR BUYER:

I see.

YOU:

Yes. So this isn’t really about whether this works. It’s more like, who will I be, isn’t it?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. It is.

YOU:

So how will you make sure you’re in the ‘make it happen’ group?

There’s lots going on here. This is the Contrast Frame in action, the Law of Consistency, the Future Pace, as well as Presuppositions and the Overcoming of Objections. So now, they can’t object with: ‘This might not work’, or, ‘This might not work for me’.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

How does it work?

YOU:

It doesn’t. Not for everyone. Or, more accurately not everyone ‘works’ it. They expect things to happen simply because they join.

YOUR BUYER:

What happens to them?

YOU:

They joined, did nothing, tried nothing, and didn’t follow the system. What do you think? (Said with a REALLY soft tone!).

YOUR BUYER:

It didn’t work for them.

YOU:

Hmmm…

Leave them with lots of space here, as this is when they will come to you and commit a lot more than before this, as long as you don’t crowd them. YOUR BUYER:

I get it.

YOU:

What?

YOUR BUYER:

I get it. I have to put the effort in.

YOU:

Hmmm… Isn’t that true for anything?

What I’ve just done is linked this one idea with us, to the broader idea of all things need this. So if it’s true for everything, it must be true for this one thing, so it becomes acceptable. So cool.

Ignore Sometimes the objection needs to be ignored. Or you just stay silent and wait for them to solve it.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

It’s expensive.

YOU:

Yes.

Silence. Your buyer will either solve this or seek a way to solve this. YOUR BUYER:

So, is there a payment plan?

Don’t get overly enthusiastic at this buying signal. Stay understated. YOU:

Is that a way you see forward?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. Can you tell me about it?

YOU:

Sure. Do you have a pen there?

Still not making it easy. Stay consistently insisting that they do the work, not you. YOUR BUYER: Yes. YOU: Okay. Tell me what you think of this idea…

Have Them Solve It This is THE best way to help people solve the problems they’re imagining.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

It sounds like a big commitment.

YOU:

Yes. Can you make the time, or…

Note: ‘Or’ is a pretty powerful word… Your buyer will generally agree with your statement, because the ‘or’ alternative doesn’t make them look so good. People will do a lot to avoid looking bad.

YOUR BUYER:

I’m not sure.

YOU:

It’s kinda the game changer.

Silence.

YOUR BUYER:

So it’s five hours a week…

YOU:

Yes. Unless you go on holiday or something, of course.

Silence.

YOUR BUYER:

And what happens, then?

They’re solving the problem and finding a way to make this okay for themselves.

YOU:

The classes are repeated if you can’t make one of them…

I’m giving them the simplest way to overcome this objection. There is obviously more to this than we’re discussing, but it’s enough, for now, for this moment. YOUR BUYER:

So I can attend them…

YOU:

At another time. Yes. If you miss one. Sure. The logistics are designed for a single mum working full time. We figure if she could make it work, the rest of us have a pretty good shot…

I’ve just given a cool contrast frame so the decision just got easier. I’ve also fired up the Law of Consistency. If a single mum working full time can do it, so can pretty well everyone else.

YOUR BUYER:

Okay, so it’s flexible.

Now we have the real objection.

YOU:

Yes.

Again, understated. Don’t rush to reassure them or make it sound easy. Just answer, and shut up, or you’ll have to solve this for them, and they won’t believe you. They believe themselves. Let them do it. Shut. Up.

YOUR BUYER:

Okay. So I can make that work.

I’m not done, yet…

YOU:

How?

YOUR BUYER:

I’ll XXX…

I’m still not done…

YOU:

Is that enough to solve this problem?

YOUR BUYER:

I think so. What do you think?

YOU:

It’s not up to me. This has to come from you. I’m here to help you make this work for you, in your way, on your terms. You tell me.

YOUR BUYER:

I can do it. It will work.

I’m still not done.

YOU:

Are you sure?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. I’m sure.

YOU:

How come?

YOUR BUYER:

Gives reasons…

YOU:

Great. I like your thinking.

Blow Them Out and Reframe to Manageable Terms A great way to help someone solve the problem they think they’re going to have is to agree with it and then go further and magnify it.

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

What if it doesn’t work?

YOU:

Yep. That happens. You might not be able to do it.

YOUR BUYER:

Really? (Alarmed, understandably, but it’s true.)

YOU:

Yes. Of course. Some people don’t make it.

YOUR BUYER:

Really? What happens?

YOU:

The same that happens in medicine degrees, and for architects, and for plumbers… Some people don’t finish what they start. Some people aren’t suited. It happens.

YOUR BUYER:

How can you tell if you’ll be able to do it?

YOU:

I don’t know the answer to that. That’s got to come from you. You have to know how determined you are to make this work. I can believe in you, but what good is that?

YOUR BUYER:

Do you think I can do this?

YOU:

I have no idea.

YOUR BUYER:

Okay. I thought you’d be reassuring.

YOU:

How can I? It would be a lie. You’re smarter than that. You’d know I was just saying it. It means nothing. This has to come from you. You tell me.

YOUR BUYER:

Hmmm… I’m not sure.

YOU:

Of course not! You’re busting through to a new level you’ve never been to before! It’s important. Anyone in this situation would feel this way.

I’m normalising. I’m validating. I’m putting it back on them to solve this problem. I cannot solve this for them. To do so would be a lie and would be done to simply ‘make the sale’ and would be false flattery. Yuk.

YOUR BUYER:

I guess I have to believe in myself.

YOU:

Hmmm… Is that enough?

YOUR BUYER:

I don’t know…

YOU:

You need to. This is important. This matters to you.

I’m reminding them of how this is for them and matters to them. I’m linking this moment to their higher purpose and their higher intent.

YOUR BUYER:

Yes.

You’re now going to give them an external solution to the internal challenge. They will be relieved.

YOU:

Will you ask for support when you need it?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. I will.

YOU:

Really?

YOUR BUYER:

Yes. I will need to.

YOU:

Yes, you will. So many people try to do this alone, and wonder why it’s a struggle.

There is a lot going on here. I’ve reframed the challenge into manageable terms. It was about whether they’d be good enough. I blew that up so it’s totally not what they want to think about. Then I reframed it to something manageable and someone else’s problem. It’s now about asking for help, and they’ll sort it. That’s so much more manageable than trying to figure out if someone is good enough. Too much doubt. Too much fear. Too much failure in the past. But can they ask for help? Totally. And that is doable, makes it seem solvable, and now they can move on.

Specific Objections NO EXPERIENCE: Did you know that 90% of the people who come to us are in the same position, so you’re going to fit right in. This is actually the place for people to get started, because if you were sure of exactly you were going to learn and how it looked, then you also could be sure you wouldn’t get any value from the program.

TIME This objection should be dealt with ages ago in the beginning of the conversation when building the mountain – if it comes up during the close you didn’t build the mountain...

FOR EXAMPLE: YOU:

Are you able to find 2 to 6 hours a week most weeks or...

OR… YOU:

So many people have time for hours of TV and tell themselves they don’t have any time…

OR… YOU:

One of the things I love about this program is that it was designed for busy people. When XXX was first putting the programs together, he was sitting with a lady, Sue, who said: I really have a full time job and I’m a single mum, I just can’t do it... so XXX sat with her and interviewed her for about five hours finding out about all the time restrictions and challenges she was facing and she then rewrote the program, so that Sue could do it. He kind of figured that if a single mum working full time could do it, then so could pretty much everyone else...

MONEY YOU:

Are you choosing your school based on price? If that’s the case, we’re probably not the program for you – we figure you get what you pay for and there are no shortcuts to being an outstanding XXX... One of our students said to me: I would have paid double the investment for the value I have received from this program...

BEING ENOUGH YOU:

Who’s going to be your champion? Who’s going to support you? (Use a deep, resonate tone)

P – F.B.E.A PAIN FEATURE BENEFIT EMOTION TIE DOWN

This is about ensuring we take the conversation as far as it needs to go, and not stop too early in the process. The point is NOT to just stir up ‘pain’ as so many sales trainers say. That’s part of it, but not all of it. It’s about bridging the gap between ‘ordinary’ and ‘extraordinary’ world as outlined in the Hero’s Journey. The pain is of the ordinary world. We must language how to get them to the extraordinary world they want (from our TofA) through what we do with what they tell us.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Pain:

Not good enough

Feature:

Support from the team of trained mentors

Benefit:

Step-by-step guidance that you follow as you apply your internet marketing insights

Emotion:

Feel confident; feel assured

Agreement:

How does that suit your needs?

Pain:

Don’t know how to run a business...

Feature:

Focus on business skills including online training and classes

Benefit:

Step-by-step system that people with no business experience follow

Emotion:

Certainty

Agreement:

Is that in line with what you were thinking?

FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR BUYER:

I don’t know how to run a business...

YOU:

Hmmm... That’s not a problem... we give you the business skills including DVD’s and classes and brainstorming sessions with successful coaches, so you have a step-by-step system that people with no business experience can follow... I guess it’s about having that feeling of certainty that comes with knowing what to do next... Is that in line with what you were thinking?

THE MORE FEATURES YOU TALK ABOUT THE MORE EXPENSIVE IT BECOMES IN THE PERSON’S BRAIN – MORE RED BRAIN!

PAIN

FEATURE

(what’s missing at the moment; usually a lack of s/t)

BENEFIT

EMOTION

AGREEMENT

(what can we (how will it help provide that their pain?) will aid their pain? Best ones are USPs)

(relate to their pain) Moving away from Pain – Towards pleasure

(very important – don’t forget!)

LACK OF INCOME

In your training you will receive a X step process on how to build your income through these methods

Which means that from day one you will know exactly what to do in order to build a XXX and achieve your desired results

Giving you the ability How does that sit to feel in control with what you’re and able to impact wanting? the right areas to get the results

LACK OF ACHIEVEMEN T

Highest success rate of any XXX in the world.

...so you’ll be joining a long list of successful alumni who are achieving real success living their dream... you’ll become the principles you teach as you apply XXX in your own life and start creating a vision for you that is filled with possibilities...

...knowing you are helping your clients will provide you with a real sense of achievement and satisfaction...

...which would be important to you, wouldn’t it?

FEAR OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LEARN

The trainers are all successful coaches earning in excess of $20k p/m

So they will be able to help you in gaining the learnings as well as potentially UN learn some things to give you the opportunity to begin learning things you never dreamed possible

Which will give you a sense of empowerment and a feeling of success,

Which is what you desire, isn’t it?

FEAR OF GLOBAL ECONOMY

Only program with full training about setting up your business

Which means you will have in inside knowledge about how to make your business successful,

Giving you the edge in the market place, enabling you to feel sure that you hold a point of difference to all other XXX

Which in this global economy is necessary for the success of businesses isn’t it?

NOTES

METAPHORS WHEN WE TELL STORIES, WE ARE LIGHTING UP THE PART OF THE BRAIN THAT FEELS. REMEMBER, ALL BUYING DECISIONS ARE BASED ON EMOTION AND JUSTIFIED ON LOGIC.

Stories cause us to relax. We feel good when we hear those magical words: Once upon a time…

OUR METAPHORS, IN THE SALES CONTEXT, NEED TO MEET THESE CRITERIA: 1.

Short and to the point

Relevant to your buyer

Evoke a feeling of either Belonging, Significance, or Contribution

Never tell a story about you, because you think it will make you look good. You will look ridiculous. Never say anything to brag. Ever. Always focus on your buyer’s responses to the story. If they’re not responding well, your story needs to change, or get out of that conversation, now. People naturally become the hero in the story you share. So tell the story in such a way that your buyer feels Belonging, Significance, or Contribution. You must have Redemption in the story. People love stories because it’s a way for them to commit to their future, even though they may feel a little disillusioned, tired or like they’re a failure. Stories must point the way for where your buyer is to head next. The simplest stories are built on: Feel Felt Found I used to feel that way. So did lots of people I studied with at the time. We felt we were never going to be good enough. What we found was that it took us believing we could do, for us to realise… we can.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF A STORY THAT HAS ALL THE ELEMENTS:

I used to feel that way. It seemed so hard. I was doing it alone. I felt what I did, didn’t matter and there was a feeling of isolation… like what I was doing wasn’t going to make a difference. I felt alone. Then I found that if I could learn one step, then my results could change. So I did that…

EMOTIONS Be Less Excited Than They Are Here’s the thing. There’s only two types of people who are overly enthusiastic. FRIENDS SALES PEOPLE

You are not their friend. So tone down your enthusiasm. Be more understated than they are. Be one best less enthused. Have them display the ‘I’m into this’ signals, before you do. Don’t ever think you being excited for them, when they’re not, will work. It’s a complete turn off and you’re wasting your time.

Emotional Rollercoaster And on the other hand… No matter what happens in the conversation with your buyer, you must make them feel emotions. Dry, boring, factual conversations where information and facts are exchanged is not how to close lots of sales. And even if you do close someone, they won’t be thrilled with their decision, because they will have more ‘stuff’.

PEOPLE WANT TO FEEL. PEOPLE BUY BECAUSE THEY WANT TO FEEL.

No one needs more stuff. Everyone needs more great feelings. Belonging. Significance. Contribution. Redemption.

The key is to make them feel these things about you and your Thing of Awesomeness. When they get off the phone with you, the Ordinary World has to look kind of… ordinary. They should feel a little flatter because the interaction with you was so cool, fun, enlightening and a little challenging. They can’t get it out of their mind. By doing this, you teach your buyer how to have a more empowering conversation than they can have anywhere else. They value this and want more of this.

THEY DON’T BUY YOUR THING OF AWESOMENESS. THEY BUY YOU AND HOW YOU MAKE THEM FEEL.

The idea is to take them on an emotional journey. Sometimes the moment calls for fun and laughter. Sometimes the moment calls for intensity and silence. Sometimes there’s space for calm, and sometimes there’s space for tense. All the time, alternative the emotions. Don’t let them get onto a plane of emotion and stay there. That becomes ‘grass’. Let me tell you about grass… Years ago, we wandered around big bits of grass. We were looking for prey, so we could eat. We were looking for danger, so we didn’t become prey. When we saw lots of grass, and nothing moving, we disregarded it. It could give us nothing and it didn’t threaten us. When we have a boring, flat conversation, we become… grass. We’re dismissed by your buyer as giving us nothing and not challenging to us. We have say cool stuff (See the section on ink spots). And we have to make them feel differently to what they feel currently, in their Ordinary World. Or… Why. On. Earth. Would. They. Say. Yes. To. You? If you’re emotionally flat, you’re just part of their problem. They already have too much grass! Don’t be grass.

THAT’S MY POINT. THEY WANT TO FEEL: □ They belong □ Important □ That they can make a difference □ Safe □ Certain □ Intense (occasionally) □ Passion So you need to be those emotions, to show them it’s possible with your TofA.

THE HERO’S JOURNEY EVERYONE RELATES TO THE ‘HERO’S JOURNEY’ OF ‘I WAS LOST, AND NOW I’M FOUND…’

People love to hear about redemption, and second chances, because we want that second chance for ourselves. We don’t want to face a future that’s bleak. Here’s how I know we will destroy this planet, even though it’s clear to pretty well anyone that we need to change our ways… We won’t, because no matter how bad things get, we lull ourselves into believing it’s going to get better. There’s something about our brain that has to dampen that feeling of gloom, and insists we don’t see just how bad things really are. We have to have… hope. No matter what is going on, we can’t face doom, or gloom, for any serious length of time, without self-correcting to, ‘Where there’s life, there’s hope’. We are programmed to see ourselves alive and doing well in our future. On an individual level, we can’t face the truth that our current behaviour, which has led to a mess today, will lead to a just-as-gloomy-future. We simply can’t face this. Then every now and then, we realise, ‘This isn’t working’. The Haze of Hope we’ve immersed ourselves in gets penetrated long enough for us to see that we must change something. See the section on Cognitive Dissonance for just how delusional we can get. So we live in hope, and we love stories of redemption, and second chances. Because we become the hero in the story, that means we have a second chance and redemption. And when we realise something has to change, we make the mental and emotional leap from, ‘That’s awesome’, to ‘That’s how I’ll become awesome’, through hearing a hero’s journey. It provides us with a path to our own redemption. And if the hero’s journey hits the right spot, we will be shaken out of our stupor and realise, ‘I need to do this, so I can have that in my future’.

Hero’s journeys are your clients, who have bought your Thing of Awesomeness and have redeemed themselves. They have Belonging, Significance, and they are making a Contribution through their daring step into the journey. You need to develop five or six or twenty hero’s journeys that deal with every objection ever thought of by your buyers. Ideally, build into your hero’s journey stories, add an occasional ‘backslide’. All the best stories have moments of setbacks, when it looks as if all is lost for our hero. If the hero’s journey is easy, and not fraught with some peril, we are dismissive of the journey and don’t respect it. We have to know that there were adversaries conquered and new lessons learned to value the journey. The hero’s journey is basically in five parts (the actual experts on their topic share many more steps, but I’m not them, and I use five).

Part 1: Stuck in Ordinary World. This is where there is bleak boredom and more of the same low results. Picture Luke Skywalker on the planet with his Aunt and Uncle, facing another boring harvest.

Part 2: The Call to Adventure. Something changes, either in the world the hero is in, or within themselves. It’s unsettling, and must be addressed. Picture Princess Leah with her message, ‘Help me, Obi One Kenobi, you’re my only hope’.

Part 3: Refusal of the Call. The hero gets offered the opportunity to go on the adventure, but convention, obligation, or a sense of duty to the Old World keep her trapped where she is, and torn because of her decision. Picture Luke telling Obi Wan, ‘No thanks’, to the adventure to save the Princess. However, Luke’s hand is forced when the Sand People kill his Aunt and Uncle.

Part 4: Meeting the Mentor. Here, the hero comes across the seasoned and experienced traveller of the worlds, who gives her the training, equipment and advice for the journey that must be taken. Picture Luke sitting with Ben, and being given the light saber, and told the stories of his father. And the training that starts on the Millennium Falcon.

Part 5: Crossing the Threshold. Here, our hero commits, and leaves the Ordinary World behind. She enters the new region, where the rules and values are unfamiliar. Picture Luke leaving Tatooine, and then at the bar when they meet Hans Solo and the characters there.

Part 6: Tests, Allies and Enemies. Here, the hero is tested and figures out some rules of this new world. She starts to see patterns in who she can trust. Picture Luke, meeting the team on the Falcon – Chewbacca, C3PO and R2D2.

Part 7: Approach. The hero and her newfound allies prepare for the major challenge they’re facing. Picture Luke and his friends approaching the Death Star.

Part 8: The Ordeal. This is the hero’s darkest moment. All will seem lost. It’s hopeless. Picture Luke, in the Death Star, in the trash compactor.

Part 9: The Reward. The hero takes possession of the treasure, won by facing death. There may be celebration, but there’s still danger. Picture Luke, rescuing his sister (who knew?!) and escaping.

Part 10: The Road Back. It’s now getting serious. The hero is now driven to complete this adventure for reasons that are now more values-driven than when they first began. Picture Luke and his friends, facing the Death Star. Facing eminent death.

Part 11: The Resurrection. Here, near the climax, the hero is severely tested once more. This time, however, the true test is one of character. Picture Luke, in the glider, facing the Death Star, and his mentor’s voice… ‘Use the Force, Luke…’

Part 12: Return with the Elixir. The hero now returns home, but with something different to what she thought she would come home with. She realises it was never about conquering the world, but conquering herself. Her real prize is her new awareness and realisations. The treasure is so valuable it can transform worlds. Picture Luke, now knowing the power of the Force…

WHEN YOU’RE SPEAKING WITH A BUYER, HAVE THIS JOURNEY IN YOUR MIND. TREAT THE ENTIRE CALL AS ITS OWN HERO’S JOURNEY.

THE EIGHT STEPS OF THE ULTIMATE INFLUENCE IS BUILT LOOSELY AROUND THIS IMPORTANT JOURNEY.

Step 1:

Rapport

Ordinary World

Step 2:

Build the Dream

Call to Action

Step 3:

Flip

Mentors, Crossing the Threshold

Step 4:

Value

Ordeal and Rebirth

Step 5:

Recommend

The Reward

Step 6:

Backtrack

The Road Back

Step 7:

Resurrection (Redemption)

Step 8:

Future Pace

Return with the Elixir

12. RETURN WITH ELIXIR

1. ORDINARY WORLD

2. CALL TO ADVENTURE

11. RESURRECTION

3. REFUSAL OF THE CALL

Ordinary World 10. THE ROAD BACK

4. MEETING THE MENTOR

Special World 9. REWARD, SEIZING THE SWORD

5. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

8. ORDEAL, DEATH, REBIRTH

7. APPROACH

6. TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES

INK SPOTS INKSPOTS ARE INSIGHTS THAT CAUSE YOUR BUYER TO REALISE YOU ARE OF VALUE.

Don’t over-think it. Just develop lines that are similar to these, and relevant for your market…

Given a big enough reason why, the how tends to take care of itself... In coaching the saying is that what you focus on is what you get... your brain searches for what you’re already thinking about... We seem to attract the best people to our programs... people who really get that it’s about contribution... 97% of our students have no business experience... Most coaches are wanting these skills not just to make a difference for themselves but for the difference they make for others... Coaching is now in over 50% of Fortune 500 companies... Training on its own has a 10% retention of knowledge and implementation... training with coaching results in over 75% of knowledge retention and implementation... A huge return on investment for the business... There are so many people who allow life to happen to them, rather than them make it happen for them... I think the villages have gone and with them so much connection, and people still want that more than ever... I heard the coolest thing the other day – interested people do what’s convenient, committed people do what it takes... Our past does not equal our future...

ME, YOU, WE, ONE THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT.

People feel separated. All the time. They crave feelings of belonging, and the significance that gives them when they’re a part of something they perceive as important. It makes them feel that what they’re doing matters and is contributing to their futures and the futures of those around them. But, remember, they feel separated. Our language, when we talk with our buyer, can add to that feeling of isolation, or make them feel they belong. We know that in sales and marketing, ‘You’ is one of the most powerful words we can use. True. Got it. But… if we never, in our conversation, move to, ‘We’, how can than picture themselves with us.

HOW DO WE BECOME UNITED IN OUR ADVENTURE TOGETHER? HOW DO WE HELP THEM FEEL THE FEELINGS OF CONNECTION?

So, in our conversation with them, we must, at some point, move our language from, ‘You want…’ to, ‘So what we’re wanting is…’ That brings them a feeling of inclusion. By accepting the word, ‘We…’ and ‘Us’, they are accepting the presuppositions built into this language – namely, that ‘we’ are in ‘this’ together.

RED BRAIN VERSUS GREEN BRAIN PEOPLE BUY ON FEELINGS AND JUSTIFY ON FACTS – MAKE THEM LAUGH, MAKE THEM CRY, BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE MAKE THEM FEEL!

□ 90% of the conversation should be green brain – the emotions □ Focus on the purpose behind their motivation – what it will give them □ 10% in red brain – the facts and features □ Red brain is the quick sand of logic – you will get bogged down in details that will become confusing and deaden the conversation □ Green brain is the benefits, the feelings, the purpose – nominalisations If you accidentally get off track into red brain, then stop – change the subject to ANYTHING to get a yes and a laugh GREEN BRAIN EXAMPLE:

How you doing today? How’s your day going? How exciting... What I love... What I love is how people want to make a difference for others... What ignited your desire to XXX? I feel at my best when I feel I’ve made a difference... It’s about making a connection, I think... Sometimes we need to stretch ourselves to really feel we’re becoming all we can be...

We’ve designed the program so you can have a passive income within 18 months, working part time... I love the idea of leveraging my education and my ability, rather than exchanging my time for dollars... I think people sell themselves short too often, and forget their big dreams too easily... Yep, the program will help you achieve your goals... It’s a challenge, it’s a pretty big program and it’s built to really get you those results you’re wanting... And it has a system that takes you step by step through how to make it happen... It feels pretty good once you’ve achieved it... a real good sense of what’s possible... and of course you’ll have a business in place, working with people who value someone who can help them achieve their goals for their business...

NOTES

THE SALES LEADER Your Mission, should you choose to accept it... Inspiring the Extraordinary Being the leader of a sales team who are using the Ultimate Influence program is about cultivating and facilitating the attitude and focus that will lead to the very best results… conversions. This guide is going to show you what you can measure, and how, so you can focus on the stuff that matters, to get the great results you want.

Lag and Lead Measures A lag measure is a report of a result. It’s a measure of what has happened. For example, a lag measure may be to report that there were 127 leads that were generated this week for the consultants to contact. A lead measure is a measure of what causes the lag measure. It’s what has to happen, to get the result. As a sales leader, your focus needs to be on the lead measures that drive the results (lag measures) you want to see. The results are going to come, one way or another. Focusing on them is the same as caring about shutting the barn door now that the horse has gone over the hills. There’s nothing you can do about it. You can, however, impact and influence what caused the door to open.

Something to Think About At The Coaching Institute, we call ourselves the Marvels because Super heroes transcend the limits of reality, they seem to defy small thinking and exist only in a space of infinite possibility. Super heroes have magic powers and their senses are finely tuned to notice more than the average person so that they can help more and serve many. A Super hero’s main purpose in life is to serve. It is more than a job or a career – it is a calling. It is an undeniable part of them that inspires them to be better – the best that they can possibly be so that they may inspire, help and change the lives of as many people as possible. We are responsible for inspiring people to strive for more, to challenge the status quo, to reach for their dreams. Internally – we are the energetic leaders of our culture. We are walking examples every day of what it means to be Inspiring the Extraordinary. We are the example people wish to see and when potential new clients call us they are hoping to see a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of possibility that something can change. Something can be different, better.

TRAINING TOOLS What we do is provide our Marvels with stacks of resources (lead measures) to help them succeed.

This is what we say: How to Use this guide This guide is an active tool to support you in your success as a Marvel. It is designed to be use in conjunction with the training tools that are provided to you, and for you to work through alone and with your team leader in your first 90 Days as a new team member. You will find core thinking, benchmarks and training that will allow you to progress effectively in your new journey into Consultative Sales – regardless of your background. Throughout the guide you will find Quiz’s to check in on your training that you should work through by yourself or with your team mates. You will also find training progression points to work through with your team leader to get feedback and to know that you’re on the right track. Each section should be signed and dated by you and your team leader to know that you are getting the most support possible in your training. Enjoy! Received by: ________________________

Date: _________________

Leader:

Date: _________________

________________________

ENVIRONMENT TCI Vision: Live Your Dream TCI Mission: Inspiring The Extraordinary

Our Values

Our Manifesto

Notes for Success

You will fail every time you try to figure out what is wrong. You will succeed every time you pick something to change and improve it because Certainty is more important than being right. You will fail if you try to collaborate constantly and talk about how to improve. You will succeed if you get on with it and show others how to succeed because people crave to be shown the direction to go. You will fail if you wait for answers. You will fail if you try to impress me or anyone. You will always succeed if you come from a desire to serve the people we have committed to help because serving others is love and gratitude. Success is within us always. The results are when you only think about how to change lives, and not when you think about how to fix your own life. The fun is in dreams coming true for others â&#x20AC;&#x201C; love giving the gifts and stop worrying about the gifts you think you need to get. It was never about you It never could be No matter how frustrating that might be. Enjoy the Journey! Signed The Universe

You and The Coaching Institute. 1. Let your results to the talking 2. Just ‘doing the job’ is not enough – WOW matters 3. Remember that the gap between what you SAY you want and what you ACTUALLY achieve is the discipline to act consistently until it is done 4. Think of the team before you think of yourself 5. Focus on problems for 10% of the time and Solutions for 90% of the time 6. There is NO hierarchy on feedback – you can give feedback to whomever you can help, and the everyone on the values 7. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, everywhere, so don’t wait for someone else to think of it and don’t thing we’ve already thought of it…just get on with improving it 8. Challenge the status quo often – you are here to help us all improve, and we have no interest in ‘doing what we’ve always done’ when there is a better way 9. Don’t waste time defending what you did, if it’s messed up, sort it and move on. 10. Ask questions every single day 11. If you want to get ahead, solve the problems of the person who’s role you want before you have the role – if you can’t do that, you’re not ready for that role 12. Bring a new innovation every single day

Rules of the Game

The Game we choose to play is TCI  Only cross the threshold culture positive □ For real or fuck off □ You are responsible for your own positive attitude before you enter the building, and you are ON at all times when you are in the building or leave the building  Superpowers get new friends □

Just showing up does not entitle you new leads

□ Leads will be allocated to consultants living their Superpowers each day. Not showing up or showing up at effect = no leads  Start the day adding value □ Start each day adding value to someone in our community, on Facebook, with a call to a student or assistance to a team member □ value sharing’s here at 10:30am  Forgetters get to give  If you forget to live your superpowers, go back to giving through outbound WOW calls (Matt always has a list)  There are loads of gifts at your disposal, if you’re not getting then it’s time to start giving This also includes complete acceptance that sometimes others can see us more clearly than we see ourselves, so if any of the leaders give us feedback that we’re not being awesome, we accept it and make the necessary changes to be awesome again.

The Consultative Sales Experience According to the official records our title is Course Consultant....but we are so much more than that. We are the first point of contact an outsider has with the world of The Coaching Institute. We are the ones who connect with them, brainstorm with them. We understand their frustrations and their concerns and we reconnect them with their passions, their dreams. At some stage in life EVERYONE dreams of being a Super Hero. Of being more than their circumstances suggest. Super heroes transcend the limits of reality, they seem to defy small thinking and exist only in a space of infinite possibility. Super heroes have magic powers and their senses are finely tuned to notice more than the average person so that they can serve and help many. A Super hero’s main purpose in life is to serve. It is more than a job or a career – it is a calling. It is an undeniable part of them that inspires them to be better – the best that they can possibly be so that they may inspire, help and change the lives of as many people as possible. We are the super heroes of The Coaching Institute. We feel a calling to serve and help the lives of people who are struggling. We often appear larger than life and we must be – we are responsible for helping our potential new friends to wake up from the sleep that is a mediocre life of existing, and settling for “should’s” instead of dreams. We are the example people wish to see and when potential new friends call us they are hoping to see a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of possibility that something can change. Something can be different, better. That just maybe they can be more than their circumstances suggest.

The World Needs Super Heroes! The Marvels team is responsible for making the magic happen. We work closely with our prospects, getting to know them and working out the best program for them to get started in. Then we help them make the decision to change their lives by becoming a life time member of The Coaching Institute community! It is our pleasure and responsibility to enrol at least 50 new core members every month to keep our community growing with the highest quality friends. We also act as gatekeepers – The Coaching Institute community is not a place for everyone. We challenge people who are curious about becoming a coach to make sure they are going to be a match for our community. To make sure they have the best opportunity to succeed and also to make sure they are as committed as we are to paying this incredible knowledge forward and continuing to change the lives of others. “We love our super heroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyse them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.” ― Grant Morrison The super hero team has a minimum standard of being a 5 Star Consultant – which means we each enrol 5 new students each and every week because we run our success strategy every single day…

RIGHT NOW I AM A (Five) STAR! I know why I’m here & I value making a difference. My results say all that needs to be said about what I stand for! Our community need me to have clarity about what we do & it’s importance so that they can rely on my for the certainty they currently lack. My Super Powers are love, passion, enthusiasm, wisdom, certainty & gratitude. I don’t flinch from ‘rejection’ because it’s not a reflection of me, but of them needing to be ready for what’s coming for them. For me to help them the most, I must see the ‘no’ as feedback that I need to learn how to be more effective with my communication. If I’m making a friend five times a week, I am connected to all that I am – if it’s less than this, I am denying an aspect of me & believing the lie that there is something to fear & I deal with it right then – no delays. My focus is always on why I serve & how to serve so my passion for learning is limitless so I can do this even better. Feedback is priceless! I am fully responsible for & passionate about my own results & care deeply about being all I can be & showing it by showing others all they can be. There is an abundance of all I need within me right now. I am the light for others. I am the guide for truth. I am the message for the lost. I am the example of the possible in all of us. Magic surrounds me & I demonstrate it with my artistry. My passion bubbles away effortlessly & consistently as a reminder to myself that my standards matter to the person I am about to meet. I am the example others want to see to give themselves the hope that they can change... that they are so much more than their circumstances suggest. I appreciate all that I am, all that I do & all that I have. My expectation is only to serve more & help others have their dreams come true. My dreams are already answered. It’s not about me & it never was... & that’s why I have so much to give...

With Great Power, comes Great Responsibility....

Our standards are critical as super heroes – did you ever see Superman ignore a call for help cos he was having a bad day?! Every day we simply must be a walking talking example of The Coaching Institute’s values and an example of what is possible for our new students. They can only see in us what exists within them, so we have to be as many possibilities as possible to help them realise that they too have magic and infinite possibility within them. We are 100% responsible for our state, our actions, our behaviours and our results 100% of the time. Close enough is not good enough for a super hero. “The temptation is to shrink your goals to match reality. Instead you must expand your reality to match your goals…” - Sharon Pearson And remember, always be yourself – everyone else is taken!! (Unless you can be batman, then ALWAYS be batman.)

Five Star Consultant – How to Succeed The BEST sales consultants bring the following, all the time:  Invest in their success  Believe in us  Have a purpose  Show no fear  Champion themselves  Immune to rejection  Unaffected by resistance  Avoids distractions  Competitive  Recalls past wins  Always optimistic  Always prepared for people to say ‘yes’  Get on with it – hustle  Celebrates success  Always comes from Heart Space  Is always Certain – even when they don’t know  Expects and Asks for the business

Mindset for Excellence – Be the Change YOU want to See! You Set The Example! – I AM the example of passion, warmth & love the new member wants to see! You Are The Magic! – It ALL starts with me & I have all I need within me right now to make this moment magical & a joy for this person! You Are Connected Deeply To This Person – I know this really matters to them & it’s NOT about me – I don’t hear a rejection of me EVER, I hear the cry for help & the desire to be understood Playfulness – It’s ALL to be enjoyed – and when I feel the joy and playfulness, I allow others to feel it too  Passion – I am pure passion for what it possible for me, for us, and for this person’s potential Certainty – My certainty is all I can be certain of – everything else is uncertain, especially the person I am chatting with – they need my certainty! Discipline – I follow the system to ensure success – I model what works, right now and don’t take shortcuts Love & Trust – There is only fear & doubt and love & trust – It’s obvious where I am, right now, for this person Curiosity – It’s all fascinating – it’s all worth exploring – it’s all wonderful & I am a learning machine

Your standards & strategies determine your results – How much are you willing to commit to maintaining your state & attitude consistently? I MAINTAIN MY STATE ALWAYS & REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE – I AM MY CIRCUMSTANCE! What you are willing to do to succeed? I AM WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED, REGARDLESS OF PERSONAL DISCOMFORT & MY BEING STRATECHED – NO ONE EVER MADE IT BY SETTLING! What won’t you compromise on in terms of your effort? I WON’T EVER COMPROMISE MY STANDARDS OF DISCIPLINE, CONSISTENCY & COMPLETING WHAT I START! Do you use what works or forget, delete and ignore proven strategies? I USE WHAT WORKS – EVERY DAY, IN EVERY WAY! How much effort do you put into learning & how willing you are to change what doesn’t work? I STUDY CONSTANTLY TO BE THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT I DO & I AM A LEARNING MACHINE! To what extent do you hold yourself at cause for all your results & non results? I AM COMPLETELY AT CAUSE FOR THE RESULTS & NON RESULTS I PRODUCE!

How well do you focus on what works, gathering reference points for success & MAINTAINING those standards once you see they get the result? I ONLY FOCUS ON WHAT WORKS BECAUSE WHAT I FOCUS ON IS WHAT I GET! To what extent do you defend, justify, blame or externalise when your standards drop? NEVER! I AM THE REASON I AM GETTING THESE RESULTS! To what extent do you claim ownership & responsibility for everything that happens to you & how you choose to respond? 100% RESPONSIBILITY IS WITH ME & I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!

What we sell * go to Mission Control and ask for -

Core info pack Meta Dynamics Brochure

Success Stories – familiarise yourself with these stories – http://www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/success-stories/student-testimonials Quiz – 1. What is our Vision? Mission? 2. What are our Core Values? 3. What is our WIG for this year? 5 Years? 4. How do you contribute to the Mission through your role? 5. What are the three core attributes of a 5 star Consultant?

STRUCTURE What are Your Standards?: □ How many phone calls are you choosing to make today? □ How many people are you choosing to genuinely connect with today? □ How many people are you meeting here at our home today? □ How many people are you moving through the Seven Steps today? □ How many people are you inviting to join our programs today? □ How well are you using the Values Pendulum Language today? □ How well are you matching people in terms DISC today? □ How well are you matching people in terms of VAKAd today? □ How often are you using the Magic Language today? □ How many cards, notes, gifts are your sending today? □ How many Next Conversations are you booking today?

The Benchmarks for Success There are standards that if achieved will lead to pretty consistent progress and to results. Everything is a strategy. If you use a strategy that doesn’t get results, it won’t get results, no matter how hard you work, regardless of your hours and regardless of your determination. You can be determined to get to Canberra from your home, but if you’re facing Perth, it’s never going to happen. Then there are the strategies that have been proven to work over and over again. The best strategies work when used exactly as designed. You are not the exception to the rule. You don’t sit outside these strategies. You are not ‘different’ and as a team we don’t have to ‘make allowances’ for how you think you know how to do this. The only time this is changed is once you’re achieving five friends every week, and you realise you have a way of doing it that gets that result, and we will then update all our materials to reflect that.

Resources you Have Available You have excellent resources available to use to track how you’re going:  ACT! database for notes and activities  ACT! schedule to track appointments  Daily Call Log  ‘Snapshot’ of a Call template  Closes Tracking Document You can use any of the resources available to wow your buyer:  Hand written cards  Books  Notes  Phone  Email  Webinar  Information night  Invite them to a class  Invite them to a coaching session  Have them chat with Fiona  Have them chat with a student  Have them chat with Joe  Send them any number of resources we’ve developed digitally, including: -

Goal Setting for Success

What to Look for in a Coaching School

Structure to Know This is what we’re here to do: Each consultant:  Minimum of X new full enrolments a week  Goal of X or more enrolments a week  $XXk+ a week in revenues (excludes EIP's) The Team:  Min of X bell rings a day  Goal of XX enrolments a week  $XXk+ a week in revenues This is what it takes to do it:  A constant ‘can-do’ optimism that defies all rejection  Complete certainty that you will prevail  A willingness to learn until you earn  A full diary of people wanting to chat with you  People being there when they said they would, because they dig chatting with you  A constant ‘Hot List’ of around XX to XX potential closes always on the go  No more than two days without a bell ring – if there is, ask for help

There are guidelines we have which when applied, get the best results: When to call:  Always call someone on the day you receive the lead, unless you’re flat out closing, in which case put doing business ahead of creating business  Call them in a four hour block of time, so your day doesn’t go on too long – be disciplined about your time when it comes to outbound calls  If they want to call you back, you can be more flexible How to divide your time:  30% of your time should be spent ‘seeding’ – starting relationships with your prospects  30% of your time should be spent ‘nurturing’ – building ongoing relationships with your prospects  20% of your time should be spent ‘harvesting’ – converting your prospects to buyers, and getting them on board as a member  10% of your team should be spend sending cards and gifts, emails and SMS messages How to structure the day:  Review your Hot List and see if they’re due for a call that day  Your ACT! schedule should be jam packed with outbound calls you’ve organised with people previously – this is your ‘nurturing’ list  Call all your outbound calls in a tight a period of time as you can, to ensure intensity and focus – don’t let it wonder over hours and hours

Templates for Your Success We’re including here everything in one place for you to track how you’re going, so you can tell what you need to succeed, or you can tell that you’re rocking and you’re all good! The templates:  Setting the intention  90 day goals  90 day reviews  Weekly Top Fives  Monthly Target Sheet  Daily Call Log  Hot List Log  Benchmark Template for the Conversation  Frequently Asked Questions

Setting Great Intentions MARVELS: AUDACIOUSLY DOING WHAT MATTERS! NAME: QUARTER IN WHICH I AM ROCKING THIS HOUSE: OUR MISSION: We help create extraordinary coaches. OVERALL WIG:

TO LIVE THE MISSION & BRING OUR PASSION TO WHOM WE MEET, SO THE CAN SHARE IT TOO TO BE THE #1 COACH TRAINING SCHOOL IN THE WORLD BY 2017

TCI BHAG:

Deliver the most Outstanding buying experience for XXX new friends each year in TCI Core

META DYNAMICS:

XX new friends for the year

# OF NEW FRIENDS MADE EACH MONTH: (BM XX/mth)

CONTRIBUTION TO THE TEAM BEYOND NEW FRIENDS:

MY MINDSET:

MY IDEAS TO HELP US IMPROVE:

THINGS I WILL DO THAT ADD TO OUR ACHIEVEMENT OF OUR MISSION:

STANDARDS OF EXCELLENCE:

LEADERSHIP DEMONSTRATED TO ACHIEVE THIS:

HOW I WILL KNOW I’M ON TRACK:

HOW I WILL SHARE WHAT I BRING THAT WORKS:

HOW I WILL KNOW I’M OFF TRACK:

HOW I WILL SELF CORRECT & HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE:

STUDY JOURNAL MONTH 1 OF QUARTER WHAT I AM STUDYING

MAJOR LEARNI NGS

HOW THIS HAS IMPACTED MY RESULTS

STUDY JOURNAL MONTH 2 OF QUARTER WHAT I AM STUDYING

MAJOR LEARNINGS

HOW THIS HAS IMPACTED MY RESULTS

STUDY JOURNAL MONTH 3 OF QUARTER WHAT I AM STUDYING

MAJOR LEARNINGS

HOW THIS HAS IMPACTED MY RESULTS

My Ultimate Purpose: Deliver the most Outstanding buying experience for 16 + new friends every Month in TCI Core

MY PERSONAL VISION OF WHO I AM TO ACHIEVE THESE GOALS:

MARVELS BENCHMARKS OF EXCELLENCE ACTIVITY

BECNCHMARK

MINDSET

CERTAINTY/PASSION/ WARMTH/PLAYFULNESS/ FUN/INTENSITY

ENERGY

UP TIME/PRESENT FULLY DECIDE TO BE A LEADER

EDUCATION

2 HOURS MIN/WK OF OWN STUDY 1 HOUR OF STUDY OF MANUAL/DVD’S 1 HR TRAINING WITH SP/FM

TONE

CERTAIN/CHOCOLATE/ SLOW/THOUGHTFUL/ PLAYFUL

USE OF 8 STEP SALES SYSTEM USE OF: THE HAND ‘IT’S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT…’ ‘SO MANY PEOPLE…’ ‘I THINK I GET WHY WE’RE TALKING…’ # CALLS/DAY

# LONG CALLS/DAY

# OF STEP EIGHT CALLS/DAY

# OF STEP FIVE CALLS/DAY

ACTUAL (ave/week)

# OF STEP THREE CALLS/DAY # OF PEOPLE I HAVE AS MY GUEST/WK

XX X

(Coffee Chats) # GIFTS/CARDS ETC I SEND/WK

# PEOPLE I HAVE ATTEND THE WEBINAR

# PEOPLE I HAVE ATTEND THE INFO NIGHT

90 DAY REVIEWS TEAM MEMBER NAME: Team Marvel DATE OF REVIEW: March 2014 REVIEW IS CONDUCTED WITH: Team Leader QUARTER FOR REVIEW: Quarter 1 2015 This review is an opportunity for you to reflect and colleague, how well you are being an embodiment values, how you are progressing towards your are improving, where you need to improve, and outstanding.

assess, with your of the company’s goals, where you where you are truly

You can assistance with completing this review, if what matters is that you believe it’s an accurate you’re at and where you’re going.

you would like to – reflection on where

Please be honest with your reflections and give examples of where you believe you need to improve, where you are delivering value and where you would like to grow. In the column named ‘Comments/Feedback’ please write your commentary, feedback, insights and observations about yourself for each of the criteria that is included here. If you believe there is more criteria that needs to be included feel free to add to it. This is an organic, changing document. Here’s to your success!

CORE COMPETE NCY

COMPANY VALUES

DETAILS OF IDEAL COMPETENCIES

Let outstanding results do the talking

Be passionate and determined

Deliver WOW

Take responsibility

Create fun with a little bit of quirk

Bring out of the box thinking with a sense of adventure

Embrace and drive innovations and improvements

Bring an insatiable hunger to learn and grow

Model excellence

10.

Build a positive team spirit

COMMENTS/ FEEDBACK

RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION FOR IMPROVEMENT/ GROWTH/ ONGOING SUCCESS

1. Above the line thinking 2. Models others to improve 3. Welcomes collaboration and ideas from others 4. Communicates clearly when needs assistance SELF MGMT

5. Knows own KPI’s & achieves them without fuss 6. Looks to improve on current KPI’s by generating ideas/ solutions 7. Stays on goals regardless of distractions 8. Communicates to leader progress towards KPI’s without prompting 9. Prioritises daily, weekly & monthly consistently 10. Manages current tasks when new tasks & responsibilities are taken on 11. Manages up by offering progress reports, updates, status reports, plans to improve 12. Clear forward focus always on what needs to be done 13. Completes what they start

1. Sets an example always of excellence 2. Brings out best in others Says what means and follows through 3. Seeks to assist others to achieve their goals 4. Constantly seeks to show others how to get to the next level LEADERSHIP

5. Puts team goals ahead of personal agenda 6. Listens, collaborates & understands before makes a decision 7. Listens respectfully to ideas & acknowledges them 8. Gives feedback that is useful â&#x20AC;&#x201C; not criticism 9. Check in with others often to learn where competency is low 10. Can train others to achieve this goals 11. Contributes to the improvement of the company without having to be asked 12. Always example of leadership 13. Says what needs to be said 1. Has a professional development plan and is using it

PROFESSIONAL GROWTH

2. Takes responsibility for professional growth 3. Seeks out opportunities to grow and improve

1. Contributes ideas to improvement in business CONTRIBUTIONS

2. Balances focus between today’s tasks & more long term objectives 3. No last minute rush to complete projects 4. Delivers on initiatives & tasks without prompting Achieves targets  Average Weekly Sale $XXk

SALES TARGETS

RELATION-SHIPS



X Sales Per Week



XX% conversion rates consistently

Ongoing and meaningful relationships with our prospects so they know we are the only choice for coach training and they would recommend us to others as the obvious choice Your observations:

OVERALL ASSESSMENT OF PROGRESS

Your Team Leader’s observations:

MARVELS BENCHMARKS MARVELS BENCHMARK XX 4 consultants at XX% Average dollar sale $XXk Fill each intake to XX + Decrease cost per lead through increased conversion rate Have structures & systems in place for measuring, tracking, improving Accurate records for commissions and overrides that are fair to all Fiona

WHO

WHEN

OUR TOP FIVES Every week our entire team, wherever they are, set our Top Five intentions. These are what we have decided we MUST achieve this week. The Top Fives go onto the Global Success Institute (GSI) Team Facebook Secret Group by Monday at 11am, and then on Friday we write how we progressed. When we write them, we include how they link to a value and how they link to our overall longer term goals.

Super Woman 5 1. Let Outstanding Results do the Talking – lead the way for XX Amazing new friends to join us this week ($XXXk) with Certainty, Playfulness and Intensity 2. Model Excellence – prepare with SP an ideal learning strategy for New Marvels to get outstanding results even more effectively as we expand our team 3. Be – who I need to be to maintain true abundance and personally Inspire 7 new extraordinary members myself to begin their journey NOW 4. Do – The Ideal strategy on every call, booking in follow ups, sending gifts and doing exactly what it takes to serve at Consultative Sales 5. I HAVE complete certainty that I will maintain the energy needed for this level of extraordinary success and HAVE nothing in my way!

CALENDAR STRUCTURE FOR THE MARVELS Managing your time in this role is important and with sometimes hundreds of leads in a month, remembering to call everyone can be challenging. This is how I managed my Calendar using Outlook so I wouldn’t miss anyone- it’s not fool proof but effective if you follow it. I have different colours to code my calendar as you will see below. To create the colours:  Go to your calendar  Hit new appointment  Go to categorize  On the drop down menu click All categories  Then choose “New” You will then be able to insert the label of the colour you wish to add, see below for my suggestions. Repeat as necessary until all categories have been populated.

Blue = Automatic: This is the automatic colour. I use this to call people in general around about this time. For example: I have left a message for someone and sent out a gift pack and think they should be called in 3 days etc Light orange = Today: Means it needs to happen on the day but no allotted time For example: They have requested a call on Friday but have not specified a time Dark Green = First Convo: For a first conversation thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s booked. For example: You have spoken to them briefly without discussing the courses and you have booked a time to connect and talk about the programs Dark Orange= 3 and above: For a step 3 or above conversation For example: You have done step one, two and have flipped but they could not talk previously. This is where you will flip and carry onto the further steps. Red = Backtrack and close: For a close conversation For example: You are expecting them through after having a full conversation and recommending a program. This is just to backtrack and close them Light Green= Face to Face: For a face to face meeting Invite culture@thecoachinginstitute.com.au and wowadmin@thecoachinginstitute.com.au so they know to prepare the room Yellow = Relationships: For ongoing maintenance of the relationship. For example: Your Enrolment in processes or enrolment pending or perhaps someone who is a more long term work in process. It may be a call, an email or send a gift

RECORD KEEPING FOR SUCCESSFUL ACCOUNTABILITY TO RESULTS Weekly Tracking Enrolling This Week ________________________ 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. EP :

SAF | $

12. EP :

SAF | $

13. EP :

SAF | $

POTENTIAL FRIENDS *

Booked Appointments (Face to Face) □ _______ /________ □ _______ /________ □ _______ /________ □ _______ /________ □ _______ /________

DAILY LOG SHEET Week Commencing NAME OF FRIEND

3/5

date

STEP 7

$ | SAF

10.

$ | SAF

DUE

COMPLETE

11.

$ | SAF

12.

$ | SAF

13.

$ | SAF

14.

$ | SAF

15.

$ | SAF

16.

$ | SAF

17.

$ | SAF

18.

$ | SAF

19.

$ | SAF

20.

$ | SAF

21.

$ | SAF

22.

$ | SAF

23.

$ | SAF

24.

$ | SAF

25.

$ | SAF

26.

$ | SAF

27.

$ | SAF

28.

$ | SAF

29.

$ | SAF

30.

$ | SAF

‘SNAPSHOT OF A CALL’ TEMPLATE D. I. S. C. V A K Ad Make a difference… Results… Systems… Empowerment… Community…

RAPPORT

Their name

BUILD THEIR DREAM

Seeds

Make a difference Make things happen Be an example Learning matters Have support Support wants them to be happy

FLIP

MATCH

What they want

One on one coaching Flexibility Workshop skills Advanced coaching Meta Dynamics Face to face training Online learning Mentoring and feedback Will ask for help

RECOMMEND

Which program?

BACKTRACK

Repeat what they want/repeat major seeds

Ask for the business

FUTURE PACE

On next steps On a surprise

BELONGING statements

SIGNIFICANCE statements

MAKE A DIFFERENCE statements

Benchmark for a Call Template SPIRAL: Six (make a difference) Five (get results) Four (a system that works) Three (personal empowerment/saying yes to you) Two (belonging/like-minded people) ULTIMATE INFLUENCE STEPS: One (rapport) Two (build) Three (flip) Four (match) Five (recommend) Six (backtrack) Seven (close) Eight (future pace)

PROFILE: DISC

VAKAd

SEEDS TO PREVENT OBJECTIONS TO OVERCOME

PROBLEMS/OBSTACLES

Money Time Support Partner happy for them Trips to Melbourne Evening classes/Flexibility DREAMS

FEARS/PAIN

YOUR BENCHMARK FOR EXCELLENT RESULTS Benchmark for Excellence XX calls scheduled in your diary XX+ outbound calls X to XX+ outstanding conversations X+ next steps as a result of that conversation X+ closes X+ bell ring

Your Target

Your Achievement

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Question or observation: What did you learn on your first week? Response: Sales takes complete focus on the person you have on the line. Lesson learn - never pick up the phone with anything/anyone else in your head... Be there only to serve and provide them with a taste of the extraordinary. Always aim to have them laughing and bring them into your world. Question or observation: Just had a magic brain rocks moment with XXX, world expanded. I have had two gorgeous women decide in the last two days that they are skilled enough and don’t need more training yet. We talked about the fact that they could do standalone training in XXX and Meta and they are keen. This is cool because it means I am really understanding where they are at and what they are looking for. My BIG learning is this: I focused on skills and so did they. What I didn’t focus on enough was support – the support to implement, BE, and DO so they can HAVE the life they want. The culture of championing, stretching, challenging, and LOVING our students. Of wanting all of the people in our lives to live their potential. So – if they are covered for skills, focus on support. If they are covered for support, focus on skills. Bigger picture – look for the GAPS that we can help them address, don’t simply look for which PROGRAM. Response: Whatever is the objection you notice, next time turn it into a seed and introduce it into the conversation BEFORE they can bring it up: So, you now know you attract people who say they have the skills, so you need a seed to counter that, before they think to raise it as a reason not to join... Seed #1: Are you familiar with Meta Dynamics?... It's a strategy and thinking model - it's advanced, and it allows the coach to assist the client in a way that creates ongoing improvements for them, and not just an improvement for that one challenge...

Seed #2: I think one of the differences that makes the difference is the ongoing support. Too many people say they can do it alone, and our experience is, that simply isn't working. We all need people to bounce our ideas off with and people who are going to champion us to succeed. Seed #3: How are your business skills? Hmmm... That's 98% of our members when they start... It's about building the skills to attract clients... is that something you're going to want to be doing? Okay, we'll make sure we only focus on programs that have that in it. Let me make a note of that.

Question or observation: How do you pre-empt the objection? Response: Every objection that could occur must be a seed: The main things to always cover offâ&#x20AC;Ś Money Time Support Whomever you discuss this with wants you to be happy Can make classes Welcome feedback Will ask for help There is no such thing as an objection. There's only justifications for not taking action. It's up to us to think ahead about the excuses someone will make to not make a decision, and then preframe that excuse with a solution through a seed. The seed is about 'other people', but they take on the inference and then later can't raise the objection, because it's already resolved in their mind. Conversation: Do you keep emails that you have sent to students? Specifically, the sorry I missed you type. Or do you just copy into ACT and delete? Or something else? Hey Fi, my inclination is to delete the generic type emails and keep the ones that are current exchanges. My ACT history doesn't store email. Now that my mouse is back in the game it is no trouble to copy and paste emails, though I suppose if you multiply it by 1000 there is some time spent there! Would you also add to the manual the strategy of saving a standard message as a "signature" I have found that INVALUABLE!! Re the generic emails I always use templates with the same subject heading so I just need to type "sent gift pack arrived email" and I know what that means. The more we can all use similar templates, the better we'll be able to support each other in ACT.

Also make sure you are not copying the pictures from your signature into ACT or it will crash I would fucking love that. Could they be saved into the Sales drive as templates? I have been somewhat cobbling and reinventing the wheel here. This strategy of yours would be a serious improvement! Lady, I wanna hack that brain of yours.... challenge I've had with these is that I update them all the time so I'll save some templates but include in the structure "ask your Marvels Leader to send you through the most updated versions" or something like that. You have all my main ones now though Thanks Fi, I will always make them more me a little anyway, maybe the template could be more about having some key points then we could language it ourselves? Very much appreciated. Xxx Observation: Key learning is the fact that calls are always a reflection of me. If people aren’t answering, it’s me. If people are always answering, it’s me If people are enrolling, it me If people aren’t, it’s me. If people are pissed off with the course, it’s me. If people are loving the course, it’s me. All prospects except one answered the phone today and it’s because I took a moment to clear something before jumping on the phone. If you are in a shitty state, fix it or get the fuck away from the phone Question: Would love to hear your strategies for booking calls - I have been booking half hour slots... and hour of power outside of those... I presume they will answer, how do you manage a great call when you have another booked? I have been focusing on my call and apologising to the next. What are you guys doing? Sales manual mentions booking first hour solid. Response: Great question. I always book an hour slot for an official booked call to be a step 5 or 7. They're in red in my calendar and absolute non negotiables; I book 30min apts for people if I've said I'll follow up Thursday morning but not set time, they're in a different colour and flexible. Always book the hour expecting the call to go between 30- 45 mins, that way you create the space to be fully present with them. I've also started saying: "3pm is great, I'll be just coming out of another meeting though so might be a few mins late, is that ok? Thank you so much!" With great success.

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