College Tribune - Volume 35 Halloween Issue

COLLEGE TRIBUNE HALLOWEEN EDITION

Issue_X.35

Hugh Dooley News Editor

U

niversity College Dublin has removed all references to their 'Embrace Race' anti-racism campaign from their Equality, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI) website and a number of 'Embrace Race' posters from noticeboards on campus after staff raised concerns that the wording of the slogan included concepts and language of ‘Race’ similar to

26.10.2021

that of the Third Reich.

A number of academic staff wrote letters to UCD management voicing the concern with the wording of the college’s anti-racism campaign, with one academic saying that use of “the unqualified language and notion of race [was found to be] highly problematic if not to say offensive.”

One such letter from a UCD Professor in the School of Sociology, Andreas Hess said “Race

is not a scientific or widely accepted social scientific term or concept, even in its supposedly social constructivist meaning. [...] the uncritical utterance of the word 'Rasse' today clearly evokes not only memories of National Socialism's ideology and crimes but also promotes unreflectively the rhetoric of Lingua Tertii Imperii (language of the Third Reich).”

Continued on page 3...

Rumours: Stevie Nicks the Witch?

Angelina Pierce Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor

er from the beginning of her career.

Additional Reporting: Zara Castagne Music Writer

With allegations of critics hearing her speak in archaic tongues, to enchanting crowds and her penchant for black and witchy outfits, Nicks never seemed to be able to escape the conspiracy theories.

Stevie Nicks, rock icon, songwriter, feminist… and a witch?

Those familiar with the singer will also be familiar with the Rumours that plagued the sing-

Continued on page 9...

Editorial

Editorial

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This week, Owen Keegan showed Dublin who he was in the form of a biting, sarcastic and wildly out-of-touch dismissal of student housing concerns. But should we be that surprised by the nature of his response? Let’s not forget, this is the unelected C.E.O. of Dublin City Council- a man so out of touch with the genuine needs of this city that he’s spent the last few years gluttonously campaigning for an exorbitant whitewater rafting facility in the spacestrapped city centre, all while Dublin’s true culture slowly starves to death around him.

Students and student media weren’t the only ones to object to Keegan’s comments.

His response to the UCDSU has made national headlines and even earned him a telling off from a few disapproving members of the Dáil.

Simon Harris took particular offence, saying that ”It shows a real failure to understand the serious challenge that people are facing. It also shows complete and utter disrespect to students.”

It’s great to hear student concerns discussed at a national level. But what about genuine, permanent accountability for Mr Keegan? Besides his half-throated apology, little can be done about his behaviour (short of impeachment or his own resignation, both incredibly unlikely). Unfortunately, you can’t really threaten the seat of a man not beholden to any popular electorate. The power associated with running Dublin is just too great to be wielded effectively by one person.

Of course, the independence of public officials is absolutely a worthwhile pursuit. However, these remarks, as well as Keegan’s past decisions, demonstrate that the protections afforded to the D.C.C. Chief Executive allow the officeholder to be independent not only from ill influence but from reality and common sense.

As frustrating as we all find Marie Canoette, he is only a symptom of the great-

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Editor@collegetribune.ie +353 1 716 8501

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

er illness that plagues this city. Dublin is a victim of its own success: development, most especially since the arrival of the multinationals, has left this city lurching with growing pains. For one, this low rise city cannot accommodate the influx of persons looking for a place to stay, so beds simply go to the highest bidder. All the while, prime property in the city centre is left collecting dust by developers whose priority is not the health of this city, but instead their bottom line. Compared to our continental counterparts, public transport is incredibly limited, and public space is sparse. There are few places to exist in Dublin for free: comfort in and enjoyment of this city are privileges reserved for those who can afford it. And like Lenny hugging the rabbits, the voracious (if misplaced) appetite of tourists is, ironically, killing the “real Dublin” they came to see. Abandon

“

Abandon all hope, ye in the Big Smoke: the Boom is Back and in its wake, it will leave no survivors, only hotels

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2

all hope, ye in the Big Smoke: the Boom is Back, and in its wake, it will leave no survivors, only hotels.

Not all is Halloween horror. Many others in the community have taken this opportunity to show us who they are as well. The UCDSU moved quickly to capitalize on this week’s frustration by redirecting it into a successful demonstration right on D.C.C.’s doorstep, backing up SU President Ruairí Power’s promise of a radical and politically active student union. Just a few days earlier, hundreds gathered on the same steps to protest the destruction of the Cobblestone and parts of Merchant’s Arch, many of them U.C.D. students frustrated with what’s being done to their city (be it native or adopted). *The College Tribune commends these protestors for speaking up.

But there is only so much that demonstrations and petitions can do to change this city for the better. If that were true, the City Council offices where these protests were happening would instead still be Wood Quay, a world-renowned Viking heritage site, rather than an ugly grey growth on the side of the Liffey. As long as an unaccount-

Connect With Us

PO Box 74, Student Centre, UCD, Belfield Dublin 4

Letters to the Editor should be sent via email and no longer than 300 words.

able, inconsiderate Chief Executive calls the shots in this city, Dublin will continue its proud tradition of cutting off its nose to spite its face.

The question is not whether Dublin is progressing, but rather whether this progress is headed in the right direction. Based on past performance, we have little faith in the ability of those running this town to account for the needs of students, the working class, and the most vulnerable in society. Changes need to be made in order to more effectively hold figures like Owen Keegan accountable for their mistakes, especially when those mistakes risk the future of this city.

The Team Mahnoor Choudhry - Co-Editor Conor Paterson - Co-Editor Hugh Dooley - News Editor Emma Hanrahan - Deputy News Editor Rhoen Eate - Features Editor Angelina Pierce - Ents & Lifetyle Editor Rosie Roberts-Kuntz - Assistant News Editor Danielle DerGarabedian - Political Correspondent Ruth Delaney - Arts & Lifestyle Correspondent Hugh Dooley - Graphic Designer

Special thanks to Hugh Dooley for designing our front page and the Turbine logo.

News Tips Sometimes the best news story is right under your nose.

Letters to the Editors Criticisms and comments on any articles published in our publication are always welcome.

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

@collegetribune www.collegetribune.ie Download our app on the Google play store for androis users or the iTunes for iOS users!

For any news tips, on and off campus, please contact the editor via social media, telephone, email, or traditional mail.

Alternatively, you’re welcome to stop by our Newman Building Office.

26-10-2021

News

Free Period Products Now Available in Library Bath5 rooms

By Hugh Dooley

UCC Students' Suffer Food Insecurity as Resources Run Low

5

By Ann Jaffray

Harris Launches Tool to Anonymously Report Violence and Sexual Harassment 6

By Rosie Roberts Kuntz

Lifestyle

Tricks and Treats in Dublin

By Ruth Delaney

6

The Horror Show of Modern Music

By Jack Donlon

8

What to Watch: Halloween Edition

By Angelina Pierce and Ruth Delaney 10

Opinion Should Halloween be Banned?

By Danielle DerGarabedian and Hugh Dooley 11

The Problem With Halloween: Cultural Appropriation

By Giulia Laretta

11

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Volume 35 - Halloween Special

News

News COLLEGE TRIBUNE

3

UCD Retracts ‘Embrace Race’ Slogan After Staff Raised Concerns Over Nazi Similarities Hugh Dooley News Editor

U

Additional Reporting Conor Paterson Co Editor

niversity College Dublin has removed all references to their 'Embrace Race' anti-racism campaign from their Equality, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI) website and a number of 'Embrace Race' posters from noticeboards on campus after staff raised concerns that the wording of the slogan included concepts and language of ‘Race’ similar to that of the Third Reich.

A number of academic staff wrote letters to UCD management voicing the concern with the wording of the college’s anti-racism campaign, with one academic saying that use of “the unqualified language and notion of race [was found to be] highly problematic if not to say offensive.”

One such letter from a UCD Professor in the School of Sociology, Andreas Hess said “Race is not a scientific or widely accepted social scientific term or concept, even in its supposedly social constructivist meaning. [...] the uncritical utterance of the word 'Rasse' today clearly evokes not only memories of National Socialism's ideology and crimes but also promotes

unreflectively the rhetoric of Lingua Tertii Imperii (language of the Third Reich).”

Hess continued saying: “Coming from a country that in the past tried to establish and impose its 'race' definitions to detrimental and disastrous effect in Europe and beyond, I am appalled by UCD's unqualified use of the word race...

...Even worse now, we are asked to 'embrace race'. I tried my entire life to get away from such notions and I find it appalling that such words and slogans are now part of a UCD campaign and promoted at a university of which I happen to be a faculty member.”

The ‘Embrace Race’ slogan was chosen alongside the current ‘Racism Stops With Me’ slogan

after submissions from both staff and students as part of the #UCDAgainstRacism campaign to take place in the college during the 2021/22 academic year.

The slogan has now been removed from UCD’s EDI website and a number of noticeboards in UCD since the letter was received by management.

Scott went on to say that UCD, “accept that raising consciousness of racism as part of wider anti-racist activities is challenging and, with an open dialogue with our whole university community, we can all do better."

Asked whether UCD continued

Hess responded saying: “As one of the people who drew attention to the dangers of using the slogan 'Embrace Race',

to stand by the 'Embrace Race' campaign, Professor Colin Scott, UCD VP for Equality Diversity & Inclusion said: “The campaign initially included two slogans: ‘Racism Stops with Me’ and ‘Embrace Race’. However, as soon as I was contacted by two faculty who pointed out the potential for negative interpretation of the latter slogan, we immediately removed it from the campaign.”

I welcome Professor Colin Scott's statement. Having said that, the fact that this slogan was considered seriously and wasn't pulled earlier tells me that a kind of nudge culture and rule by committee seem to prevail at UCD's top brass. The incident is yet another example of 'doing for' instead of 'doing with' at this university and throws up serious questions as to how this place is being run.”

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News

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

New Project for Testing Innovative Recycling Methods in Irish Universities Stephanie Toolis Reporter

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he Irish Universities Association (IUA) and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) have introduced a two-year-long project which aims to improve the way in which waste is disposed of and recycled on university campuses across Ireland.

This project will be known as ‘Campus Living Labs’ and shall deliver behavioural and infrastructural interventions which will target consumption and waste management habits of different campus populations around Ireland. The project will use the university campuses

as ‘living labs’ for testing new methods in order to improve waste management in Ireland.

Over 162,000 students will be challenged to reduce their food waste and eliminate single-use plastics.

The project is being funded by the National Waste Prevention Programme, and its objectives are; preventing waste, improving waste segregation, and increasing recycling across the Irish university campuses.

Laura Burke, Director General of the Environmental Protection Agency, stated that the “project outcomes will allow the EPA to gather evidence and provide shared learn-

ings that can be applied in the future to other third level campus populations”. Ossian Smyth, TD and Minister of State with special responsibility for Communications and Circular Economy, stated that efforts such as the ‘Campus Living Labs’ project “are important in helping us reach our national goals on waste prevention”.

The interventions introduced as part of the project will therefore aid the higher education sector in meeting wider national targets, particularly under Ireland’s Climate Action Plan and the Waste Action Plan for a Circular Economy. The ‘Campus Living Labs’ project is

specifically aligned with the aims of; halving our food waste by 2030, improving recycling infrastructure, and banning certain single-use plastics in line with the Single-Use Plastics Directive, which is all set out in the Waste Action Plan for a Circular Economy.

The Director General of the Irish Universities Association, Jim Miley, added that “Irish universities will join in their efforts to make Irish campuses more sustainable in line with our national goals”.

The Campus Living Labs project aims to reduce waste, improve recycling, and ultimately move towards a circular campus.

Harris Launches Tool to Anonymously Report Violence and Sexual Harassment Rosie Roberts Kuntz Assistant News Editor

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achieving a “zero-tolerance culture”.

esterday, Minister Simon Harris announced “Speak Out - the Anonymous Violence and Harassment Reporting Tool” for higher education institutions. The tool covers harassment in a myriad of forms, including cyberbullying, harassment, discrimination, hate crime, coercive behaviour or control, stalking, assault, sexual harassment. sexual assault and rape.

The project will be rolled out across 18 higher education institutions nationwide during the next year. It is led by the Psychological Counsellors in Higher Education Ireland (PCHEI), and funded by the Department of Further and Higher Education, Research, Innovation and Science. Support for the project has been given by the HEA Centre of Excellence for Equality, Diversity and Inclusion.

Harris’ aim for the tool is that it will “provide a safe and anonymous medium for students and staff to report incidents of bullying, assault or sexual violence in a trauma-informed environment.” He believes it represents a national approach to tackling these issues with the ultimate result of

The data collected through this tool will be used to inform policy and targeted educational initiatives. It is the goal of PCHEI to provide a trauma-informed tool which will provide users with support services relevant to their experience. It has been met with overwhelming support from various

stakeholders, including USI Vice President for Welfare, Somhairle Brennan and Dr Ross Woods, Director of the HEA Centre of Excellence for Equality, Diversity and Inclusion.

A similar tool, “Report and Support”, is already available in UCD and can be accessed here.

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News Stand Emma Hanrahan Deputy News Editor

MTU students report drinks being spiked on nights out At least six students from Munster Technological University (MTU) reported having their drinks spiked during a freshers’ week event in Tralee last week. Each student contacted the student union and reported feeling “weak and extremely sick” despite only drinking a small amount of alcohol. Both male and female students were targeted but all have since recovered.

Student Union President, Chris Clifford, warned students to be vigilant as nightclubs reopen. The Gardaí have been notified about the incidents and Clifford urges anyone who suspects that they have had their drink spiked to do the same.

Colleges to stop use of NDA’s in cases of sexual harassment In a letter to the president of every college, Minister Simon Harris warned universities to stop using non-disclosure agreements in cases of sexual harassment to silence victims. Harris also told all universities and institutes of technology to disclose if they have ever issued NDAs in the past. According to Harris, the use of NDAs “runs contrary to the values of transparency, consistency and integrity” that should be seen in third-level institutions.

Former UCD Professor Dolores Cahill meets Senior MP Former UCD professor Dolores Cahill was one of a number of conspiracy theorists who met a senior Conservative MP in London recently. Cahill, and eight other anti-vaccination campaigners, met MP Graham Brady at an undisclosed location near Westminster in late September. Ms Cahill is currently facing charges in a London court for breaches of Covid-19 regulations. It is understood that the purpose of the meeting was to present “evidence” to Mr Brady and call for an immediate halt of the UK’s vaccination programme “as a matter of urgency”.

Minister Harris launches new initiative with UCD to address education inequality Minister for Further and Higher Education, Simon Harris, has launched a new initiative aimed at supporting students of DEIS schools to access third level education. Power 2 Progress is a programme from University College Dublin in collaboration with Zurich Ireland. As part of the programme, UCD student teachers will provide additional educational support to participating students through weekly tutorials over the course of their senior cycle. The programme will facilitate onsite visits to UCD and Zurich offices to encourage students to pursue further education and professional careers.

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Volume 35 - Halloween Special

Free Period Products Now Available in Library Bathrooms Hugh Dooley News Editor

P

eriod and sanitary products will now be available free of charge from dispensary machines in toilets located in the James Joyce Library at University College Dublin following a campaign from UCDSU and Homeless Period Ireland.

UCD’s library management have purchased the machines which will distribute free period products, a move which the Students’ Union hope will give them the “momentum” to have “free provision of period products in all bathrooms across campus.”

Speaking to the College Tribune, Carla Gummerson, Graduate Officer for UCDSU, said: “Over the last number of years students and staff from across the campus have been campaigning to bring awareness to the issue of Period Poverty.”

During the Covid-19 pandemic, the Mature Students Society ran a fundraising campaign to help fund the purchase of period products on campus. Gummerson explained that during the pandemic, “it became apparent [the Students’ Union] were not as accessible with the products as we may have thought, we had to post them out to students and if we are closed students can not access them, so we bought some free vend machines [sic].”

“The Library wanted to get involved so they also purchased free

vend machines. With this momentum, we decided to put forward a submission to [the University Management Team Student Experience Group] which was accepted." The Students’ Union have stated that similar installations will take place in the college’s other library buildings.

The installation of free period product locations in UCD, follows the announcement that Munster Technological University has launched a campaign providing free sanitary products to students and staff, across 60 locations in the MTU campus.

The campaign, called ‘Code Red’, is designed to tackle period poverty so that menstruation does not cause someone to miss educational or recreational activities due to a lack of access to period products.

According to anytimeofthemonth. com, Irish women spend an average of €132 on sanitary products each year and 50% of women have struggled to afford these products.

MTU President, Maggie Cusack, says that providing free period products is another step closer to achieving equality on campus.

“Code Red will make a difference to the lives of our students and staff on the most basic, human dignity, level and will allow students to focus on what really matters while attending third level education – working towards their degree.”

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

News

5

UCC Students' Suffer Food Insecurity as Resources Run Low Ann Jaffray Reporter

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food bank run by the Students’ Union at University College Cork ran out of food in under 50 minutes last Wednesday according to a statement by the Union President.

UCCSU President, Asha Woodhouse, stated that the food bank had to turn students away after the stocks of food ran out in the midst of the student accommodation crisis. Ms Woodhouse said it was “heartbreaking” to turn those who were seeking help away and “to see so many students experiencing food insecurity.”

UCCSU Welfare Officer, Caoimhe Walsh, stated on Twitter that it was “a very sad day for the country” and called for immediate action to help struggling students in a tweet that tagged Minister for Further Education, Simon Harris, Taoiseach Micheal Martin and Tánaiste Leo Varadkar.

The UCC food bank is accessible to students every Wednesday from 5-7pm in the UCC common room.

The resource is in high demand as countless students across the country struggle to get accommodation, and those in accommodation struggle to make ends meet.

In response to the overwhelming demand for the food bank, a fundraiser was set up on GoFundMe to pay for more resources. The

crowdfund raised over €19,000 in 24 hours and has raised over €25,000 to date.

UCC Students’ Union Executive said the food bank is continuing to accept donations of food and personal hygiene products in addition to GoFundMe. The statement continued “As sad as this is, mutual aid is a powerful thing. When people in our community are let down by the government and those with power, we must come together, share what

we have and look after each other, because those at the top don’t care and won’t act. We won’t stop until no student is left hungry.”

Unfortunately, food insecurity is only one of the many problems students are facing at the moment. Many students around the country are still struggling with high rents and securing stable accommodation. Some students in Cork have resorted to couch surfing and staying in hostels as accommodation remains scarce.

National Development Plan outlines surge in funding for Higher Education Alice Wright Reporter

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he renewed National Development Plan (NDP) recognises further and higher education providers as “anchors for enterprise and regional growth” in a commitment to spend €2.9 billion on the sector between 20212025.

Overall investment in the sector is expected to increase from €500m to €652m per year by 2025.

Unveiled on 4th October, the NDP commits to spending €165 billion over the next nine years in a plan that has been described as “unprecedented in scale” by Taoiseach Micháel Martin.

Minister Niall Collins has characterised the sector’s increased

funding as “investments in our people, and in the skills and talent that will enable Ireland to flourish as an economy and society”. The NDP highlights the importance of this generation of students for “Ireland’s future prosperity and resilience”, welcome recognition for those who have struggled through the challenges of learning in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

There is now a commitment to expand infrastructure in the sector to cater to the increasing number of students entering higher education. Full-time enrolments have grown over 33% between 2007-2017 and this number is expected to grow in the coming years. Investment in infrastructure, including the development of technological universities, should ease concerns of future Leaving Cert students

following the difficulties faced by this year’s graduates in securing a place in their desired courses this academic year.

The 180-page document also notes the “importance of the physical campus to the student experience”, whilst acknowledging the potential for online or blended learning for future generations of students. It notes that the investment for campus infrastructure will be adaptable and support “evolving best practice in teaching and learning.”

The document states the further and higher education and research system will be “critical to the delivery of Ireland’s climate ambitions.” Investment will be made in campus buildings with relation to the 2030 climate targets, namely improvements in energy efficiency and decarboni-

sation.

Emphasis is also placed on skills development in an ever-changing working environment. Funding “will seek to ensure that the right infrastructure and equipment are in place to match skills development with the needs of our economy and of society, across the regions and nationally”, recognising the importance of an agile approach to reskilling and upskilling.

enough “given the background of under-funding and the continued expansion of numbers.”

IUA Chairman, Ciarán Ó hÓgartaigh, has said the Association is eagerly awaiting the funding proposals that will be laid out in Budget 2022 to realise the ambitious aims of the Plan and it is looking forward to engaging with Minister Simon Harris to get clarification on the funding plans for the sector.

Outside of government funding, the Plan also highlights the importance of non-exchequer finance to the higher education sector, expecting €2 billion raised through philanthropy and borrowing.

Elsewhere in the document, students will be pleased to see plans for investments into affordable housing. The plan commits to deliver 33,000 new homes each year – 10,000 of which will be social housing and 6000 will be priced at a more affordable rate.

This should work towards the retention of the skilled workforce the plan aims to develop over the period.

The Irish Universities Association believes the increased funding is “a step in the right direction” yet states that it is still not

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Arts&Lifestyle

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

26-10-2021

Entertainment & Lifestyle Tricks and Treats in Dublin Ruth Delaney Arts & Lifestyle Correspondent

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ith restrictions set to ease at the end of the month, the biggest celebrations are set to take place this Halloween as the first holiday that is somewhat restriction free in almost two years. We’ve rounded up some of the best events taking place this Samhain, with something for all our readers.

The Nightmare Realm With the title of ‘No.1 Haunt in the World’ and ‘Best Independent European Haunt’, The Nightmare Realm began terrorising the people of Ireland for the first time in Kerry, but they are now celebrating their 13th year running and their 7th year open in Dublin. They promise that “Each year is different to the last. We redesign haunt themes and mazes, switch up characters and update our most infamous rooms, nothing is ever the same as it once was.” Held in the RDS, Dublin, the experience is like being the star of a horror film, where guests are faced with their darkest nightmares and experience the artistry of fear.

Farmaphobia This Halloween classic is regarded as Ireland’s biggest and best horror experience, with organ-

isers stating that their “tormented and twisted minds have been working overtime to ensure that Farmaphobia will return

Dublin's famous Dandelion market, this market is set to be spread over 2 floors with 50 stalls. The stalls will be filled with

1000's of vinyl records, up and coming clothing designers, local art & crafters and of course great music, food and drinks with Dublin Pizza Company also making an appearance.

This will take place on the 24th of October.

Samhain Family Festival Live

Samhain Family Festival on October 25th at EPIC, The Irish Emigration Museum. Samhain is a festival that celebrates Ireland’s ancient Halloween roots and rich storytelling traditions. Colourful characters will share spine-tingling tales and there will be plenty of treats in store for all ages!

Hurloween at the GAA Museum

for Halloween 2021.” With 4 terrifying haunts spread over 100 Acres of Fear, this Halloween Event is not to be missed and is ideal to do with friends.

Halloween Market at The Well If a scary tour isn’t your thing, a Halloween market in the city centre is something for the whole family to enjoy. Based on the original location of

the finest traders in Dublin, top vintage clothing sellers, jewellery makers, a pop-up record store with

Celebrate the magic of the spoken word and awaken your inner Seanchaí at the

Who said sport has no place in the spooky season? Take a trip to the revamped GAA Museum Museum, as instead of ghouls, there’ll be talk of goals in Croke Park this Halloween on the brand new Hurloween tours.

Hurloween Tours include a visit to the Croke Park dressing rooms and a walk pitchside where guides will teach the history and skill of the sport. The trip also includes a Warriors and Hurlers Workshop, where younger visitors will learn more about the story of Setanta, a master hurler who used his sliotar and came to slay the hound of Chulainn.

Everyone on tour will also have a chance to visit the r\e-opened and revamped GAA Museum. Tours take place from Tuesday October 26th to Saturday October 30th.

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Volume 35 - Halloween Special

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Arts&Lifestyle

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Treat Yourself This Reading Week: Halloween Style Cinnamon Sugar Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes Cookies

Caoimhe Keogh Nevin Arts & Lifestyle Writer

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ith pumpkin spice season well underway, baking can be a fun way to spend the cold dark autumnal evenings, especially as with midterms around the corner. If you are looking for some Halloween and autumn-inspired baking and drink making, then look no further.

The smell alone of these cookies will put you in the autumnal mood!

If you're looking for something spicy and sweet like a PSL but you’re not in the mood for the drink, then look no further than these delicious pumpkin spice cupcakes.

Ingredients:

‘Creep it Real’

Ingredients:

For the cupcakes:

1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg 1/2 teaspoon ginger 1/2 teaspoon cloves 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda 110g butter 200g caster sugar 5 tablespoons brown soft sugar 2 eggs 180ml milk 1 can of pureedpumpkin (Try Tesco!)

200g unsalted butter 150g caster sugar 50g light brown soft sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract No Halloween party is 300g plain flour complete without a wick- 1½ tsp cream of tared cocktail to sip on. tar ‘Creep it Real’ is a fun spin on the classic Screwdriver 1 tsp bicarbonate of cocktail. The blue curacao soda For the icing: is what lends this drink its 3 tbsp milk enchanting, potion-like green hue, making it the 3 tbsp caster sugar 200g cream cheese perfect Halloween bever- 1 tbsp cinnamon age to serve at any party In a shaker, add ice and 50g butter this season. pour in all the liquid in- 350g icing sugar gredients. Shake until 1 teaspoon vanilla Ingredients: combined. On a plate, extract spread out enough sugar to cover the surface. Using 1 teaspoon cinna2 Shots of Vodka, lemon, take your serving mon 1 Shot of Blue Cura- aglasses and coat the rim cao, in the lemon juice. Turn the glass rim-side down 2 cups of Orange on the plate and coat the juice, edges in sugar. Then pour Sugar (To decorate). and serve your cocktails!

ing powders and combine.

Fill the muffin tray with the mixture and place your cupcakes in the oven for 25 minutes and leave to cool on a rack.

Preheat the oven to 190°C and line your muffin tray with muffin cases.

Using an electric whisk, mix together the butter and sugars until they are incorporated and light and fluffy.

Then add in the eggs, one at a time.

Then stir in the milk and pumpkin puree. Sift in the flour, spices, salt and bak-

Make the icing by adding the butter and cream cheese to the mixer and blending until smooth.

Then add the icing sugar a little bit at a time until it is all mixed in. Add in the vanilla and cinnamon and beat until it’s thick and fluffy.

When the cupcakes are completely cool, ice the cakes and there you have it!

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Music

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

26-10-2021

The Horror Show of Modern Music

How has one of the most diverse and culturally rich forms of entertainment become so shallow, and who, or what exactly is to blame?

The answer is simple. Nowadays you have global powerhouses such as Universal Music Group, which has monopolised the industry.

They have writing teams who churn out fast, catchy, meaningless crap for some twenty-something influencer turned ‘singer’ to butcher. Even bands and real instrumentation have been

This is why our ears are tortured by endless streams of so-called ‘songs’, which all sound exactly the same, are devoid of any meaning, and follow a simple formula that makes them catchy and marketable.

These record labels have slaughtered creativity and individuality in music like a 90’s slasher villain. It’s almost as if they have some sort of Dr Frankenstein-like laboratory, mass-producing autotuned zombies somewhere in California.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we woke up one day to find that their mediocre monstrous army has taken over the world, forcing every human to listen to one of these soulless albums on repeat if they disobey them.

Any perceived ‘individuality’ or ‘uniqueness’ in mainstream music nowadays is a façade, it’s all manufactured!

Alas, there is hope with artists such as Sam Fender, the young singer/songwriter from Newcastle, Inhaler, (whose rise has had absolutely nothing to do with the frontman being Bono’s son…), Fontaines DC and many others. The problem

music is so dry that OK Computer, What’s the Story Morning Glory, Californication, Parachutes and AM are all still in the Top 50 album charts on Apple Music.

These record labels have slaughtered creativity and individuality in music like a 90's slasher villain

Somewhere there is a band that has the ability to accomplish what Oasis did

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hat has happened to music and why is it so gut-wrenchingly awful?

As I write this, Ed Sheeran’s Shivers sits at the top of the charts, featuring thought-provoking lyrics such as “I wanna kiss your eyes, I wanna drink that smile”, which I’m pretty certain are direct quotes from 1991’s ‘The Silence of the Lambs’.

replaced by a guy with a laptop and a synthesizer.

is that these acts are not mainstream, and they never will be. Why would a record label take a chance on a guitar band when what they’re releasing right now is making them so much money?

The well of half-decent

So what about when good music was mainstream?

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“

Jack Donlon Music Writer

What was different? One example is Oasis, whose rise to the top of the music industry was remarkable.

In three years, they went from being a newly signed band, to playing to 250,000 people over a single weekend in Knebworth Park.

This happened because an

Independent record label took a chance on them, which is something that simply wouldn’t happen today.

Somewhere, there is a band that has the ability to accomplish what Oasis did, but modern-day record labels are not interested in giving them a chance. They are too focused on quick cash and giving someone time and money to make a record that may not be profitable, is simply not a risk they would take.

I don’t know what can be done to make the horror show stop, but I can ask you, the reader, one thing.

Think about the music you’re listening to, are you only listening to it because it's popular? Are you a victim of the nightmare that music has become? Why not try to find something that you enjoy, music that means something to you, and maybe things will start to change.

26-10-2021

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Music

9

Rumours: Stevie Nicks the Witch?

Additional Reporting: Zara Castagne Music Writer

It was upon the release of the album 'Rumours', that, ironically, the rumours reached a point that Nicks actually did begin to worry as she started receiving concerning letters that made her fear for her life.

She even said in the LA

S

tevie Nicks, rock icon, songwriter, feminist… and a witch? Those familiar with the singer will also be familiar with the Rumours that plagued the singer from the beginning of her career.

The singer had always had an affinity for Halloween since she was a small child. Dressing up was one of her favourite things to do and with her mother as a talented seamstress, Nicks revelled in all her handmade costumes and even dyed some of them black. In her late 20’s the

“

Hearing her speak in archaic tongues, to enchanting crowds and her penchant for black and witchy outfits

“

singer, along with then boyfriend Lindsey Buckingham would create the chart topping and timeless band, Fleetwood Mac. Nicks achieved stardom primarily through her role as lead singer and as a songwriter for the band.

Her excellent songwriting contributed largely to the band’s global success, and we can thank her for songs such as Dreams and Landslide. One of the bands’ hits, Rhiannon, became the smoking gun in the witch conspiracies. When performing the song she

Nicks, now 73 and no plans of retiring on the horizon has sinxe embraced her style

“

With allegations of critics hearing her speak in archaic tongues, to enchanting crowds and her penchant for black and witchy outfits, Nicks never seemed to be able to escape the conspiracy theories. Now at age 73, we can look back at her glorious career and see where all the witch stuff came from!

Times, “In the beginning of my career, the whole idea that some wacky, creepy people were writing, ‘You're a witch, you're a witch!’ was so arresting.

And there I am like, ‘No, I'm not! I just wear black because it makes me look thinner you idiots.’”

People were so eager to

infer more from Nicks’ mystical stage persona and with Fleetwood Mac under financial and critical stress, she dropped the aesthetic almost completely, swapping her beloved black outfits for apricot ones. Alas, the rumours never truly died down but has become a favourite topic for interviews and talk shows.

Fortunately, it appears that Nicks, now 73 and with no plans of retiring on the horizon, has since embraced her style and witchy vibe.

The icon even appeared in ‘Coven,’ the third season of American Horror Story, as herself playing a witch with renditions of Rhiannon, Seven Wonders, and plenty of shawl twirling.

She even blessed us with another appearance in the eight season, ‘Apocalypse,’ and a rendition of Gypsy.

Regardless of rumours, Nicks has been cemented as an icon for witch-lovers and shawl twirlers everywhere. During the Covid-19 pandemic, things have become a bit quieter around Nicks. She takes the pandemic extremely seriously and has cancelled a tour voicing con-

“

She started receiving concerning letters that made her fear for her life

“

would introduce it as a song about a witch and the critics went crazy for it and this is where the rumours really spiralled.

Angelina Pierce Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor

cerns about her safety.

She has said that the risk of not properly recovering from Covid and therefore no longer being able to sing and perform, would kill her.

Stevie Nicks’ magical voice and aura will hopefully soon enchant and inspire the public again!

“

Film&TV

10

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

What to Watch: Halloween Edition

Angelina Pierce Entertainment & Lifestyle Editor & Ruth Delaney Arts & Lifestyle Correspondent

W

ith Halloween right around the corner, we’ve compiled a list of films and tv series that are perfect to get in the spirit.

Whether you’re settling in for a cosy Autumn night or need suggestions for a Halloween watch party, we’ve got you covered!

1. Vampires Galore Our obsession with vampires can truly express itself this Halloween season.

From the 1931 Dracula to F.F. Coppola’s 1992 Dracula, our fascination with vampires will never truly die. Stepping away from the most famous vampire, we also have Interview with the Vampire, the cult tv series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, among countless other fang films & tv series, all perfect for sinking your teeth into this October.

3. The Weird & Wonderful Tim Burton

There cannot be a Halloween film round up without mentioning any Tim Burton films. The legendary director known for his exploration of the weird and the wonderful has created such cult classic films as Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow, Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and Frankenweenie.

Burton’s dark storylines, impressive casting, beautiful sets and hauntingly fascinating characters are the perfect recipe for the season. His impressive catalogue of gothic fantasy films are guaranteed to set you up for a fantastic Halloween and for the other 364 days of the year.

4. The King of Horror

sics are the adaptations of Misery, IT, A Good Marriage, Pet Sematary, Christine, The Mist… the list is endless!

5. Tell me an American Horror Story Ryan Murphy’s renowned horror anthology series will put you in the mood for something darker this season. From its first season of Murder House up to the latest season Double Feature, there’s 10 seasons of pure gore with chilling storylines that will leave your jaw on the floor. There’s never been a better chance to give it a go and try any season you fancy. It is currently renewed up until its 13th season, how lucky are you!

6. I’m Watching You, on Netflix Stepping away from the cult favourites and classics, here we have something more

2. Which Witch?

You can’t have Halloween without the world of witches! For a more chilled out Halloween tv series watch we have Charmed, the 1998 cult tv series about three sisters in San Francisco and the original Sabrina The Teenage Witch, both of which are full of magic, mayhem and must have 90’s-early 2000’s fashion. For films we have The Harry Potter Series. The fantasy series unleashes our imagination and has earned its place as a firm seasonal favourite to watch.

Lastly, for more fun magic we have Hocus Pocus and if you haven’t seen Bette Midler performing “I’ve Put a Spell on You”, then you’re in for a treat!

If anyone knows how to write a good horror, it’s Stephen King. The author has blessed us horror-loving fans with countless stories that have then been developed into films and tv series.

A firm classic with Jack Nicholson’s most iconic performance is of course The Shining, based on King’s experience staying in the Stanley Hotel and the dreams he had whilst staying there. The story of Carrie has spanned three movies, a lesser known tv series and a hit musical, with the 1976 film easily being the best film of the 3. Other King clas-

fresh to the scene. The Netflix original You is based on the book of the same name and sequel Hidden Bodies

by Caroline Kepnes. The show follows New Yorker Joe Goldberg whose obsession with women he encounters drives him to do anything for them, even kill.

Other Halloween appropriate watches available on Netflix are The Haunting of Bly Manor, The Addams Family, Locke & Key, Death Becomes Her, Halloween, The Rite, Frankenstein and many more!!

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

26-10-2021

Why We Love Horror Vanshika Dhyani Film & TV Writer

Having watched and rewatched most English language horror films—dating as far back as the early 2000s to as recent as Candyman— I now spend hours scouring through the internet for more content to give me the heebie jeebies. With Halloween season inching closer, horror-lovers like myself have already begun their hunt for spookiness.

But before you start your search for horror recommendations, have a think about why horror works and why we love it.

Do we consume horror or does it consume us?

If you’re anything like me, the first thing you do when hearing of a highly recommended film is look up it's IMDb rating. A couple of years ago, after watching a truly anticlimactic and regrettable film, I promised myself to never suffer through a movie that had less than a 7.0 IMDb rating.

Be that as it may, most horror movies barely make it to a 6.0 and I can’t stop myself from watching them. Which makes me wonder, what is it about a horror film that makes us overlook trashy reviews and poor ratings?

Fear is so good at preoccupying and dominating our subconscious mind that even when we are distracted our brain keeps revisiting the small window of fearfulness. It becomes a catalyst for the catharsis that follows from purging negative emotions through the film. Horror films prey on our unconscious fears and help us loosen the hold of immediate distress and anxiety.

Filmmakers gamble with this feeling to make the film-watching experience pleasurable and profitable.

Filmmakers use elements to kindle emotions common to all humans. For example, the fear of being alone is familiar to all of us.

To exploit this fear, horror films are often set in isolated locations, subliminally reiterating how scary it can be to live in a desolated area. They also use tricks to play mind games with their viewers. For example, when an object/person is illuminated from below it makes them look scarier.

This happens because our brain perceives light from below as unnatural, unfamiliarity makes us anxious and fearful. Filmmakers work heavily with silhouettes and shadows to leave it upto the viewer to imagine what they’re most scared of, this makes every individual’s experience more personalized, hence scarier.

They often intensify the feeling of fear by capturing video through an object to create the atmosphere of being watched which reminds us how unsettling it is to think we’re being watched.

Horror films push the boundaries of fear by inducing an environment where the viewer is both anxious and at ease. As scary as the film might be, in the back of your mind you know that what you’re watching is not real and cannot directly harm you.

This results in dopamine hits, creating an ‘adrenaline rush’ that keeps you coming back for more. I suppose this is why horror works—it consumes you.

It infiltrates your perception of things and makes you wonder ‘what if?’ and with the assurance of an adrenaline rush, we keep on coming back for more.

26-10-2021

Volume 35 - Halloween Special

Opinion

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

11

Should Halloween be Banned?

T

he College Tribune's Halloween Enthusiast and Halloween Adversary battle out an age-old debate in this article!

Danielle DerGarabedian Politics Correspondent & Hugh Dooley News Editor

Danielle Ah Halloween, the only holiday that unifies sluts, creeps and children for a night of simultaneous debauchery and innocence.

Whether you be roaming the streets for treats in a carefully curated ghoulish costume or out for a trick at the most delightfully macabre bacchanal, you can be sure that October 31st will be well spent. Halloween should not and cannot be banned. Halloween is one of the few holidays you are not obligated to be stuck at some relative’s house sat across from that one aunt or uncle who insists on making dinner a political debate and trust they are never on the left. Without Halloween you lose a whole slew of favorite October past times that make the transition from summer to autumn tolerable.

Carving pumpkins and haunted houses would not exist without Halloween since they’re like the pre-drinks before the actual main event. Imagine also going to your children in the future and trying

to explain that some evil people banned a holiday where they would receive an excess amount of candy for free and got to dress up as their favorite characters from television and movies, I imagine it is the equivalent to finding out that Santa doesn’t exist – heartbreaking.

Halloween is the one day it is socially acceptable to dress anyway you want. So, for the furries, LARPers and cosplayers this day is very significant as it’s the one day a year they’re not stared at by regular folks and judged. To ban Halloween is to go even further than just eliminating a favorite holiday but to eliminate an entire movie genre. Halloween has inspired or been the setting for many horror films as well as created an industry around merchandise, such as costumes and decorations for the holiday specifically.

You cannot have the iconic boogeymen: Jason, Freddy Kruger, Mike Meyers (whose film is called Halloween!) and Ghost Face without the existence of Halloween.

Without Halloween you lose an essential component of the autumn and winter holidays, October would just become another month to get through and one that people, specifically girls, would start playing Christmas music in. No! No one needs that, we need Halloween so they can they can dress up in an overdone sexy police officer or devil costume and be dis-

tracted by a different, equally fun holiday.

Hugh

What are we celebrating anyway?

The distribution of single use plastics and children beating down the doors of the elderly in a corporatized bastardisation of valued cultural traditions. In the name of ‘sweets’ and showing off poorly made costumes purchased from child labour factories in China, gangs of youths rove the streets, banging on the front doors of single mothers and old age pensioners, demanding food from the poor. Think of more than just the terrorising of the young and old, think of the illegal distribution of those explosive missiles… fireworks!

The terror they cast into cats and dogs is second only in its despicable nature to the horrific damage they can do to the hands of those who use them. Those who are fortunate enough to keep their hands, may suffer other gruesome injuries through getting hit by these rockets on the way back down! That they terrorise pets and maim the users, one should agree that fireworks are terrible and MUST be banned.

Now, sweets? Calorie dense, sugar packed and full of saturated fats, sweets are integral to Hallowe’en.

We hand them to our kids and let the lollipops rot their teeth, the mars bars and moam sweets add to Ireland’s growing legacy of obesity.

With one in five children in Ireland are now considered to be obese and

more than 300,000 Irish children are now considered obese… surely we must revaluate our acceptance of Halloween? Yet, it is not merely the obesity caused by Hallowe’en which fills our hospital, its an excuse to haul the firemen around Ireland putting out bonfires and rescuing under-age drinkers who decided to jump over their own mountains of burning tyres emitting environmentally destructive fumes.

Those kids, inbetween terrorising the elderly and maiming themselves through their own foolishness, dress up in racially insensitive costumes too. What the Kanye West impressionists, the edgy Trump supporters, the girls who dress up in Pocahontas outfits all have in common is the awful levels of cultural appropriation implicit in the values of the ‘horror-day’. To save our children and our society, ban Halloween.

Danielle What you have read from my counterpart is the ramblings of the campus grump who has most likely never experienced the joy of Halloween, so I’d say take what he says with a grain of salt and interpret it with a large amount of hyperbole. I think to describe trick or treating as children, who tend to be 4-11, “beating down the doors of the elderly” is definitely a bit of an exaggeration. On Halloween children are hardly going door to door, in their adorable costumes I might add, “demanding food from the poor”.

They are politely reciting “trick or treat” in the costume they wore to primary school the Friday before to middle-class, middle-aged people. Those who don’t want to hand out candy will not decorate their house and leave their lights off on October 31st to keep any would be trick or treaters from knocking on their door and yes, they are just knocking. No toddler has the force to beat down a door, be reasonable. Also, I can’t remember the last time I heard anyone complain about corporatization of Halloween, Christmas yeah but Halloween is for that. Save your Catholic guilt over not celebrating a holiday in a traditional way for Christmas. Fireworks on Halloween tends to be a tradition new to an American such as me and seem inconsequential to Halloween fun; and as you plainly state in your argument, “one should agree that fireworks are terrible and MUST be banned.” We could rather ban fireworks than a whole holiday which seems unreasonable.

Children will eat candy whether Halloween exists or not so to eliminate an entire holiday with various festivities based on a national statistic is an issue you should bring up with the Minister of Health. You are hardly going to save society and the children by banning Halloween, if anything you’re just going to end up with egg on your front door on October 31st for lacking the Halloween spirit.

The Problem With Halloween: Cultural Appropriation Giulia Laratta E&L Writer

H

alloween tends to be filled with good-natured tricks and delicious treats. Apart from the delightful traditions, there is a consistent political discourse that crops up on the scariest night of the year. Namely, those who dress in costumes that are recognized as culturally appropriated, such as the Native American, Geisha girl or the seemingly innocent poncho and sombrero combination; all problematic and disrespectful costume choices that are continually sold and worn around the world.

The high frequency of doubts that arise around what defines a culturally appropriating costume is summed to the numerous cases that cross the line between politi-

cally correct and incorrect, showing how little awareness has been raised in occidental societies about what culturally appropriating practices are. Why are the examples named above problematic? And how are they inscribed and normalized in western cultures?

To answer these questions, it is crucial to understand what is covered by the concept of cultural appropriation. According to the Oxford Dictionary, an “act of copying or using the customs and traditions of a particular group or culture by somebody from a more dominant group in society” is considered cultural appropriation.

For instance, if some white people showed up at a Halloween party with Afro wigs and tribal-like pants, they would be reproducing a racist scheme that reinforces the broader positions of power and

submission the two groups concerned by this practice are located in. In fact, in this specific case, the white people in costume are caricaturing the characteristics of an already targeted and marginalized group in society. In doing so, they are putting themselves in a position of domination over the other group, a racial privilege that is already conferred to them in their everyday life and this, exclusively for their own fun.

Some would argue that “they are just costumes” however, these types of defensive comments seem not to consider the larger meaning of these practices and the harm that they could cause to those who see their own already marginalized identities stereotyped by someone else.

By reproducing a labelled image of

a certain social group, the people wearing culturally appropriating costumes are not only making fun of them, but they are also forgetting the long past and present struggles which those specific BIPOC have had to face, often because of their own appearance.

Despite the increasing attention this topic has gained over the years, the issue remains contentious. A number of celebrities in the last decade at Halloween parties have been wearing Native American costumes, such as Paris Hilton, Chrissy Teigen and Kylie Jenner. It is clear that culturally appropriating practices are still taking place at a mainstream scale certainly contributes to the difficulty in solving the issue and to spreading awareness on this topic. On the contrary, it normalizes disrespectful practices, thereby perpetuating

oppressive dynamics and general ignorance on the subject of racial domination. This ignorance is undoubtedly problematic: we cannot dress up without asking ourselves some questions, benefitting peacefully from our obliviousness.

It is necessary to interrogate ourselves about the harm that, in this case, could be caused by our costume; the question “can someone be potentially offended by my outfit?”, might be a starting point during the next and all the following preparations for Halloween.

The possibilities are infinite, so let’s get creative or take out of our wardrobes a good old ghost, pumpkin or superhero costume and have some respectful and politically correct fun!

It's satire, please don't sue us

PRETENTIOUS UCD STUDENT TRAUMATISED AFTER REPEATING COFFEE ORDER 87 TIMES

M

es amis, I must report an incident that I was a victim of on campus.

Oh mon dieu, I don’t even know where to begin!

However, as cliche as it is, I would say the beginning is where I should start the recounting of my l’incident.

I was wearing my black flares (my not-like-other-girls outfit) and in the queue at Bluebird, which quite frankly, was too long for its own good. Mes cheries … I spent 11 minutes in line just to get humiliated!

Anyways, I put my AirPods away (which were playing Mozart) so I could commu-

nicate my café order to the barista, which was, obviously, a café latté with oat milk. Little did I know that me saying it once would

“

Manét Pretentiously Whingy

I spent 11 minutes in line just to get humiliated!

“

not be enough.

And so started an endless rendition of me saying my order, in as many ways as I possibly could. Each time, it was more awkward than the last, I couldn’t

believe that the dear who was already hard-of-hearing could not comprehend that my café latté was sans dairy.

Anyways mes chéries, so as to not go on and sound miseràble (despite the fact that I am), the staff at Bluebird made me say my order close to 87 times. The louder I got, the more aggressively they said “what?”.

It’s trés difficult already to be such an obviously prettier and cooler girl than everyone else - but to let everyone hear my order?

What if I have started a trend and thus brought on a shortage of the milk of oats?

The 5 UCD Students Most

Likely to Survive a Horror Film

By Dugh Hooley Snooze Man & Ms. Chowder Ex-Snooze Secretary

1. Engineering students Used to bring stuck inside due to their crippling lack of social skills, engineering students would be perfectly suited to hiding away from a mass murderer. They could also survive by 3d printing incorrect signs to confuse the serial killer, just like they did for law lake...

2. Medicine They know how to kill but also how to survive! Hippocratic oath or not, when it comes down to which artery to stab when they need to kill the antagonist of the film, Medicine students will do anything

necessary to allow them to study… They signed up for 9 years of college remember! Their inability to shut up about their high Leaving Cert points may attract attention, however, stopping them from reaching the top spot.

3. Ag Science That terrifying forest the film is set in? It's actually their back garden! They know the terrain as well as its precise road frontage measurements. Used to surviving on a diet of Avonmore Protein Milk and Tayto, these students are used to a harsh struggle to stay alive even if they could be baited into the open easily if promised a county trial.

4. Arts students High of coffee and being called "hun x" by Jedward on Twitter, Arts students won't fall asleep while on the lookout. These students are unreliable however as their willingness to fight a demonic monster depends entirely on whether Mercury is in retrograde or of Blue Bird is open...

5. Law students Daddy's money isn't as effective a deterrent against a zombie outbreak but law students still scrape into the top 5 due to them having incredible disguise skills, having hidden the stick up their ass for 3 whole years…

MEAN! UCDSU

communists bully POOR DCC CEO,

Owen Keegan!

Dugh Hooley Snooze Man

Mere hours ago, Dublin City Council’s VALIANT dictator, Owen Keegan gave a wonderfully half-hearted apology. In a move described as “brilliant and futureproof” by Dugh Hooley, INFO COMBAT CEO, Mr. Keegan pretended that he was conceding defeat after thousands of silly and naive college students protested outside his office. The dangerous lynch mob called for Sir Keegan, White Water Knight of the Docks, to lose his job, but the dictator shall be kept alive through the dark forces of apathy.

Fear not good, moral people of UCD, traditional values of oppressing students and minorities will continue in Dublin as the Great Dictator of Dublin City Council is completely immune to the machinations of the foolish citizenry!

The great unelected man shall face no ramifications for his brave move to keep students poor and on the verge of homelessness!

Once the token apology was made, the silly students retreated to their

college campus and merely posted on social media! Naturally, no change shall come from this, the New(man) World Order shall NOT triumph over the deceitful dictator!

“I know that all the little gatekeepers on Twitter become LITERALLY hysterical if you suggest we use the word ‘replacement’ but that’s what we are trying to do!

"Just merely get rid of the current group of students and replace them with wealthier, more obedient American students who will pay bigger fees and larger rents through student loans!” said Owen Keegan.

The New(man) World Order’s Influence!

As always, the New(man) World Order is sitting in the shadows trying to influence society and bring about a better world for their evil demographic… students!

The New(man) World Order organized the lynch-mob outside the Dublin City Council Office through their connections in the UCD Students’ Onion whose layers have been making me cry for weeks.

Make sure to share this article with the rest of the Burkean Journal on Twitter, they need to know the truth!