MIR ROR 3.29.2017
The real "Mad Men" of Dartmouth | 6
Fanaticism at Dartmouth | 4-5
Wien: Twelve Teeth | 7 TANYA SHAH AND ERIC WANG/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF
2 //MIRR OR
Editors’ Note
Madly in love STORY
ELIZA MCDONOUGH/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF
Once again, another term at the College has come and gone, and with it, the leadership of The Mirror has changed hands again. Meet May, Annette and Lauren: three good friends, each a former editor of a D section. This week’s theme was inspired by March Madness, specifically, March Madness driving Lauren mad as she has remained trapped at the bottom of her pool. She knows nothing about basketball, collegiate or otherwise, but is still taking the continued loss very personally. Meanwhile, Annette is being driven mad by the Dartmouth pace of life after two consecutive offterms (the first in Edinburgh, the second in Washington, D.C.), infuriated by Dartmouth-specific inconveniences such as Collis at rush hour. May’s source of madness is her agonizing over course shopping. How can she possibly decide if she likes a class or not when she only has a week to decide? During their group Skype session, the three ruminated on the many possible meanings of “madness.” They quickly realized that there were many ways to playfully riff on the often charged term. From fits of petty rage and couples who are “madly in love” to Mad Libs, this issue will explore a few of the words many complex and nuanced meanings.
follow @thedmirror 3.29.17 VOL. CLXXIV NO. 48 MIRROR EDITORS LAUREN BUDD ANNETTE DENEKAS MAY MANSOUR
ASSOCIATE MIRROR CAROLYN ZHOU EDITOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RAY LU
PUBLISHER PHILIP RASANSKY EXECUTIVE EDITORS KOURTNEY KAWANO
By Chloe Jennings
The stereotypes surrounding relationships at Dartmouth seem contradictory. On the one hand, hookup culture seems pervasive: “dance floor makeouts” and nostrings-attached relationships are seen as commonplace and normal. On the other hand, there is a stereotype that Dartmouth students marry Dartmouth students, implying a much more serious level of commitment. So, how do we reconcile these stereotypes? Has hookup culture replaced the dating culture that bred Dartmouth marriages of the past? Or merely complemented it? To get some insight into the relationship culture of the past, I interviewed a Dartmouth alumnus — Carolyn Chapman ’93 — who met her husband, Pete Chapman ’91, at Dartmouth.
The unique structure of the D-plan means that many Dartmouth students have to do long-distance relationships through various off-terms and abroad terms. Did you ever encounter this? CC: Yes. Pete graduated two years before me but would visit on weekends.
How did you meet at Dartmouth? CC: I am somewhat embarrassed to say that we met in a frat basement. Specifically, at Beta.
Did you have any other friends that met their spouses at Dartmouth? Are you still friends with them? CC: Yes – two of my good friends are both married to Dartmouth guys that they dated senior year.
How did your relationship develop from there? CC: Pete asked a friend who he knew from football and who was in my grade if he could introduce us, which he did. So, we owe our marriage to George Neos [’93] in a big way! The funny thing was, while I was watching a game from the stands I had told a friend of mine that I thought “number 50” was cute. So, I do think that there is something to chemistry, e ve n f ro m afar. A f t e r I met Pete we ended up seeing each other for a few weekends in a row. Beta was having parties because the football team was winning. He told me he would ask me out but would ask me another time — not in a frat basement. He came to my dorm room a few times to ask me, but I was always in the library. He wanted to ask me in person so he didn’t leave a message. But, it turns out another football player – quite a good one by the way, Shon Page [’91] – lived right across the hall from me. When I came home late that night he tipped me off: that Pete Chapman has been around a few times looking for you! Was dating very commonplace when you attended Dartmouth? Did you have many friends who were dating, as well? CC: Yes, and yes.
Was it difficult to stay in touch after Pete graduated? CC: Not really, but we did have long distance. I looked forward to our time together. How long after you g raduated Dartmouth did you get married? CC: Pretty soon! I graduated ’93. We were engaged December ’93 and married July ’95.
Only time will tell the role that hookup culture might play in long-term relationships (and even marriages) for Dartmouth students. It seems that the Dartmouth culture that C h a p m a n experienced was more relationshiporiented, with lots of her friends dating, and a few even getting married after graduation. Nonetheless, Chapman’s story – meeting a football player who had an eye on her in the basement of Beta, dating long-distance after graduation – seems a p p l i c a bl e t o the Dartmouth we know today. Perhaps, then, things have not changed all that dramatically between the Dartmouth of the past and the Dartmouth of today. Perhaps the no-stringsattached style that seems omnipresent on campus is not as commonplace as we think it is. When you spend too much time at Theta Delta Chi past 12 a.m., it is easy to forget that there are plenty of students at Dartmouth who are crazy for each other: Dartmouth students who are dating, Dartmouth students who are engaged (or already married, even) and Dartmouth students who might one day meet their future spouse in Beta without the slightest inkling. This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
MIRROR //3
’17: “He stopped tagging me in Facebook videos last week, so I think that prospect is dead.”
Classics Professor: “What is your favorite hobby?” ’18: “Smoking legal marijuana.”
’18 #1: “I need to go to the gym tomorrow. I haven’t been in two days.” ’18 #2: “I haven’t been to the gym in three ... years.”
’19: “I just sneezed so hard I think I gave myself a hernia.”
’18 to friend: “Have you ever read those stories about those blind and deaf dogs, that by being so blind and deaf consume their owners’ entire lives? That’s you.”
March Madness at Dartmouth STORY
By Alison Hagen
Dartmouth’s men’s basketball team has Phi Delta Alpha’s competition, noticed this they can easily relate to the athletes. Since the not appeared in the NCAA Tournament pattern. basketball players are around the same age, since 1959, and it seems unlikely that it will “I think it is mostly luck,” Forstner said. students often become fans on a closer level do so in the near future. However, that does “People who think they know a lot still tend and appreciate their devotion to the sport. One not stop numerous students at the College not to do very well, and oftentimes it’s the of Peng’s favorite parts of March Madness is from joining the March Madness craze. person who knows the least who just ends up watching “pure adulation in those athletes’ What drives students to spend countless hours getting lucky and winning.” faces” when they achieve success. doing research, watching basketball games on The excitement associated with getting “A lot of these kids know they’re not playing television and debating opinions with friends? lucky is not the only reason students are professional basketball,” Peng said. “Most It’s all in the “madness.” so eager to participate in March Madness. of these kids actually are not going to play Many fraternities on campus have their Li noticed three other factors that lead to professional basketball, so they’re really just own March Madness bracket pools. Brian Li students’ active involvement. playing for their school and their love for the ’17 organized the competition for Zeta Psi this The first, he said, is that the variety of game.” year and even invited alumni to participate. geographies represented in the tournament Peng, Li and Forstner all noted that since He finds that brothers often do it purely for is much broader than in many professional students are unable to root for Dartmouth in the fun of it. sports, where teams nearly exclusively the tournament, they often are fans of teams “The biggest part about March Madness represent large cities. Meanwhile, the men’s local to their hometowns. The tournament can is camaraderie and not about anything else tournament’s Final Four — the University certainly get competitive and include plenty really,” Li said. “I don’t think anyone expects of South Carolina, Gonzaga University, the of “trash talk,” but overall the experience is to get a perfect bracket and win the billion University of Oregon and the University of enjoyable and brings friends together. dollars from ESPN, so it’s mainly just a group North Carolina at Chapel Hill — represent “I think it’s a good way of just having to play with friends.” greater areas and less populous states. friendly competition between people, and I While it may seem surprising to some, Secondly, the 68 teams in the first round allows think the randomness of it is sort of what’s March Madness also draws intrigue since for a greater number of possible outcomes. appealing,” Forstner said. “So many crazy it is so easy to participate without extensive Finally, he said, the cultural significance of the things happen every year, and even if you knowledge about the basketball teams that tournament and the sheer number of people don’t end up winning, you get a good feeling compete in the tournament. nationwide make participating appealing for if you predicted something that was unlikely. “I don’t think there’s a lot of people within many. Even if it is mostly luck, you kind of feel clever Zete who actually know March Madness,” Jerry Peng ’18, the organizer of Kappa if you pick a good upset.” Li said. “Look, no one really knows who is Kappa Kappa’s bracket, also finds that students going to win, who is going to lose, the fun is enjoy watching the NCAA Tournament since Forstner is a former staff writer for The Dartmouth. just guessing. Just guess and just have a good time with it. And then it’s kind of fun to see how far your guessing takes you.” E a c h y e a r, plenty of statistics and analytical resources are released to help people predict the results of the basketball tournament, but in the end, students often find participating to be purely a guessing game. With the spontaneity of college basketball results, students are kept on their toes throughout the month to discover how their luck plays out. Sam Forstner ’18, who ELIZA MCDONOUGH/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF is participating in Students watched a basketball game between the University of Kentucky and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
#TRENDING
SHALLOW CONVOS
“How was your off-term? Let’s get a meal!” You both know you won’t.
MARCH MADNESS
That time of year when everyone googles “Gonzaga.”
TRIPS APPS
Pat yourself on the back if you didn’t wait to complete it the day before the deadline.
AMAZON PRIME
When you didn’t realize you had reading due the first day of class, Prime to the rescue!
17S
It’s spring term, yet everyone is wearing Bean Boots.
STORAGE SPACE
Can’t remember where you put your fridge? No one will notice if you just take that random one in the corner!
4// MIRROR
Fanaticism STORY
By Julia O’S
The concept of fanaticism is a common point of confusion amongst the youth of Generation Z. Often, people wonder what the driving force is behind the sobbing, shaking crowd at boy band concerts, dating back to as early as Beatlemania. Perhaps it is the same force behind the annual emergence of the screaming, face-paint-wearing Super Bowl viewers. Is it a chemical phenomenon, an adaptation that served some survival purpose in the stone age? This kind of viewership and reaction straddles a foggy line between lighthearted and serious, fun and dangerous, well-intentioned and evil. What is the point at which a fan becomes a fanatic? Is it the same instance as when the funny becomes the feared? Like the moment in the horror movie, “The Roommate,” when the viewer realizes that Leighton Meester’s character is not a cute college friend but a creepy, psychotic foe? All this is to say that upon examination, it becomes clear that fanaticism crosses a certain line that departs from fandom, delineating interested from obsessed and acceptable from offensive and uncomfortable. “I have negative connotations with fanaticism,” Kyra Spaulding ’20 said. “It’s much more obsessive, whereas fandom is along the lines of great appreciation.” At Dartmouth, the fan and the fanatic appear to exist on the same spectrum. Sometimes even a murky gray area is achieved by a particular exhibition of fandom. Naturally, many of these occurrences take place at the various sports facilities on campus. “Fandom is a healthy enjoyment of watching sporting events, while fanaticism is a disproportionate obsession or infatuation with sports,” said Maddy Schoenberger ’20, a member of the women’s volleyball team. Some of the most notorious sports fans, Students from all grades enthusiastically cheer for the Dartmouth football team. This past season the more specifically soccer fans, on campus Of course, opportunities for fanaticism are the brothers of Alpha Delta Fraternity, crowd, speaking of the final members of the which was derecognized in 2015. However, derecognized fraternity who are graduating exist in many other areas beyond sporting the brotherhood appears to be very much in 2017: “You’re gonna miss us when we’re events. For example, the election of President Donald Trump spurred a surge of political intact, though much smaller in size, gone!” Though much of the cheering and activity from students. One particularly through friendship and fandom. During taunting elicited laughter, controversial event came about when Timothy the men’s soccer team’s some older fans could Messen ’18 wrote a column responding to home games this past “Fandom is a healthy be heard whispering in Trump’s tweet condemning flag burning as fall, the brothers could dismay, “that is not very justification for jail time and revoked U.S. be heard for miles enjoyment of watching sportsmanlike behavior.” citizenship. In his article, he argued that in surrounding Burnham sporting events, Still, the few remaining order to prove Trump’s assertion wrong, it is Field. They famously while fanaticism is members of AD represent a worth at least considering a demonstration inhabited the front cross-section of fanaticism of the legal rights that Trump condemned rows of the bleachers, a disproportionate at Dartmouth that many so vehemently. Messen ended his article with wearing ever ything obsession or infatuation find positive. an open invitation to discuss the reaches and from unrelated jerseys “I’ve only experienced significance of flag burning with the potential, to onesies. Regardless with sports.” their support at a fraction but not promise, of an actual flag burning of the final scores, they of the size they once to take place after a thorough discussion. screamed at the other -MADDY SCHOENBERGER ’20 were, but they’ve still been However, this discussion took an unexpected team’s goalie after a absolutely hilarious and turn when not only students but also members home goal, “It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault!” or waved a giant fork a huge boost to the team in my couple of of the Rolling Thunder New Hampshire years,” said Noah Paravicini ’19, a member Chapter 2, Combat Veterans Motorcycle in the air, chanting, “Fork you!” However, not all of the AD commentary of the men’s soccer team. “There’s nothing Association and the Live Free or Die Riders was exclusively directed at the opposing that makes us happier as players than getting showed up. In an attempt to show their overall team. One of the chants that garnered the to run over to the bleachers and jump into patriotism and opposition to flag burning, most laughter from the onlooking crowd their section after every goal we score or these local advocates for veteran and army addressed the team’s head coach Chad hearing their chants all throughout games. issues recited the Pledge of Allegiance over Riley, asking him to put their brother Nick Dartmouth soccer won’t be the same without Messen’s statement, during which he assured Ford ’17 in the game. One of their favorite their support, and it’s very sad that such a his opponents that he would not burn a flag. In Messen’s eyes, as well as those of chants was also aimed at the rest of the home great tradition is going to die out.”
MIRROR //5
at Dartmouth
ullivan
ANNIE DUNCAN/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF
football team went 4-6 after capturing two consecutive Ivy League titles in 2014 and 2015.
supporters of the ideology that certain rights accepting of all, often times working to must be exercised, the act of burning a flag avoid potentially offensive situations. For could be deemed necessary and righteous. example, religious groups such as Agape However, to others, that kind of protest Christian Fellowship, Al-Nur Muslim Student could be deemed fanatical. Likewise, to the Organization, Baptist Student Union, people who support flag Chabad at Dartmouth burning, the members “I have negative and Shanti Hindu Student of the local groups who Organization are intended carried flags and signs connotations with to be communities for and spoke over Messen’s fanaticism. It’s much students of the same statement might seem religious orientation to fanatical. An equally more obsessive, come together. Rather than valid argument can be whereas fandom is an emphasis on external made for the elements ict or condemning other along the lines of great confl of fanaticism from both religions, each group has an opposing perspectives. appreciation.” internal focus for students at Then, is the definition of Dartmouth to observe their fanaticism fickle? Does respective religions but be it really only depend -KYRA SPAULDING ’20 openminded. That is to say, on the perspective of events such as Bible studies the people in question? Perhaps this is an are commonplace, but picketing the rights of unsatisfying definition to some, but it gets at others in a public setting are not been part of the heart of perspective and inclusion. The the equation. word fanaticism must be remembered for the This is true for many of the solidarity purpose it is intended to serve — as a means groups on campus as well. The College for communication. It is a way to express a Republicans and the College Democrats might personal opinion of an action that seems to interact on occasion to discuss and debate cross the foggy line between acceptable and political issues, but a boundary of respect offensive. that is supposed to be upheld to prevent the Dartmouth’s community strives to be offensive effects of fanaticism remains. In
fact, this boundary seems to dictate many of the opportunities for fanaticism on campus. Dartmouth students are expected to uphold a certain level of respect when supporting ideas, teams or groups. Groups may host events centered around activism, such as making signs or calling senators, but there is rarely a publically endorsed incident of directly and personally attacking others. However, there is one area that fanaticism is more excused than in other situations: an obsession with academic and career success seems to be much more acceptable than obsessive passion demonstrated in a religious demonstration or a football game. A large contingent of the student population is interested in entering the highly competitive professional fields of business, medicine and graduate school. A dedication to academics that leaves students in the library until the early hours of the morning, sleep-deprived, caffeine-crazed and potentially even underfed has become a new normal. It seems that students are expected to submit an endless string of applications to jobs, internships and clubs, all while attending every job fair and working countless hours to perfect academic assignments. This kind of passion includes the same kind of negative undertones of the previous definition of fanaticism, as a level of competition and comparison between students comes with the territory. Additionally, it illustrates an example of obsession, which is a key component of fanaticism and at the heart of the modern student’s approach to rigorous academics. A student who is willing to compromise a healthy lifestyle in order to achieve better grades or coveted jobs is certainly exhibiting obsessive behaviors. What makes this kind of fanaticism — in the form of frantic, often competitive discussions of summer jobs and achievements — more acceptable than other forms of all-consuming interest? It comes down to what others deem as acceptable. Students are not punished for overpreparing for exams, writing too many drafts of essays or attending too many office hours. In fact, they are often encouraged to do more of all of the above. However, life at school is less forgiving of obsessive behavior when it comes to sporting events, partying, religious affiliations or political discussions. Dartmouth supports athletic and extracurricular pursuits, even if they don’t appear to be priorities. The College is much quicker to see behavior around these areas as fanatical and attempt to diminish them. So, what is the solution? How can the College take a more balanced approach to the decision of what is acceptable or unacceptable? There are certain priorities that need to be considered: the safety, happiness, health and overall success of students being the primary areas of importance. This is not to say that classes should become easier, but healthier approaches to academics should be more effectively encouraged. Additionally, students should be able to express themselves and their interests freely as long as they do not contribute to a disrespectful and hateful environment. It seems, at present, fanatical behaviors are allowed but only when designated appropriate by the institutions at large.
6// MIRROR
The real “Mad Men” of Dartmouth STORY
By Jaden Young
On the critically acclaimed television show “Mad Men,” the fictional character Pete Campbell is a Dartmouth alumnus. While the often loathsome Campbell is not the most flattering depiction of a Dartmouth graduate, there were plenty of Dartmouth alumni who went to work in advertising in the sixties. On campus, students were exposed to the fruits of Madison Avenue’s labor as well as more local ads. In honor of our Madness issue, The Mirror takes a look at advertising at Dartmouth in the time period of “Mad Men.” The Mirror searched through the ads run in The Dartmouth in the sixties and found exactly the sort of slogans and sex appeal you’d expect from Don Draper and the men on Madison Avenue. These ads targeted a Dartmouth community before the College became a coeducational institution, and companies certainly tailored their ads to a stereotypical male audience. Car ads took up plenty of space on the paper’s pages, showcasing all the gleaming new models available. These ads invited students to local showings of new models, promised the best repair services and offered the best prices and newest features. Considering just how many ads for cars were featured during this time, it’s no surprise that a few safe driving PSAs made it into the paper as well. Many PSAs warned drivers to wear seat belts and to drive carefully to avoid life-changing accidents. Other frequently advertised products included tobacco, tobacco pipes and alcoholic beverages. Budweiser, Carlsberg and Ballantine Ale were all advertised in The Dartmouth. One Budweiser series highlighted the “seven golden keys to brewing Budweiser,” and another gave
tips on how to best enjoy their beer. A Ballantine ad implored readers to “Graduate from beer. Graduate to Ballantine Ale.” Advertisements for sales at the Dartmouth Smoke Shop ran alongside ads for Sutliff Tobacco Company’s Mixture No. 79. While ads for the Co-op, Sperry and Champion regularly noted particular sales, many ads for clothing and grooming supplies promised to transform buyers into trend-setting chick magnets. A series of ads for Adler’s socks featured photos of young men and women wearing white tube socks while having, what appeared to be, the times of their lives. In one, a man in socks rode a moped with a beautiful woman behind him while smoking a pipe. In another, a couple literally swung from a chandelier, wearing evening clothes and Adler’s “indomitable” white socks. Many of these ads focused on their product’s ability to increase men’s power and sex appeal. Jaguar after-shave was “only for the man who gets a bang out of living, a charge out of leading — who plays to win, whatever the game.” Another ad asked, “Does a man really take unfair advantage of women when he uses Mennen Skin Bracer?” Code-10 hairdressing bore a slogan worthy of early Draper — “It’s invisible, man!” — and promised to give users a look that “inflames women, [and] infuriates inferior men.” One particularly self-aware ad for Lee Leen pants showed a young man looking proud and confident while three mooneyed ladies cling to him. The tagline read, “He didn’t change his hair cream or his mouthwash or his deodorant… He just started wearing Lee Leen pants.” Others tried to take more direct advantage of Dartmouth’s captive population of single
young men. An ad from a company called Pussycat Puzzle showed a puzzle of a topless woman with pieces missing in suggestive locations and promised “an enticing reward” for anyone who completed the 500-piece puzzle. A May 1968 ad hawked a vacation package to Hilton Swingles Week in San Juan, promising travelers a chance to dance, dine and water ski with fellow “single swingers,” for as little as $145. It included
the image of a bikini-clad beauty with the caption, “Take me along, plus student ID cards, for six free rum punches on your Swingles Week in San Juan.” Another ad promoted a new computer dating service that matched people with five “ideal dates” using a $3 questionnaire processed through the company’s “highspeed computer,” an early precursor to dating services like OkCupid and Match. com.
JADEN YOUNG/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF
A hat is not a hat COLUMN
By Clara Guo
First Floor Stairs I dangle several feet off of a cliff, a jagged cliff, painted in the deceptive neutrality of browns and yellows. I hold on by a string of yarn, boasting of oncevibrant shades of crimson and sapphire. The yarn isn’t taut, but I’m dangling. Something must be wrong. I feel a pull upward. It’s my sister. Strands of wool escape the edge of the cliff. Pop. Pop. There they go, swishing in the wind. The edge of the cliff grows nearer. I place one hand above the other, pulling myself, hoping that the sweat on my hands does not weaken my grip. I slide downward. My sister pulls harder. Basement Play-Set We’re sailing across the ocean on a boat without a helm. We are captains with telescopes, befriending mermaids and monsters. We play-fight with swords because we have not yet learned the power of guns. We run around on the deck, wearing plastic sandals that we call “tuo xie,” designated only for sterilized environments. It’s slippery on deck (and perhaps a little salty), but we don’t care. We’re
alone, free from the rules of authority. We’re running too quickly, ignoring the rise and fall of the boat with the impending storm. My friend hits her head on the bulwark. We must stop running. Chinese Checkers I am the general of my troops. We wear yellow because yellow is royal, and I believe I am royalty. My men move forward, one at a time. We employ a strategy that has worked countless times in the past: one scout marches out first, immediately followed by a zig-zagging line of soldiers that pave the way for the rest of our unit. We fight against men in purple. They march in step toward us, until yellow and purple blend in the center of the battlefield. We must move forward; retreat is not an option. We win. We reach the end first, assembling in the mirror image of our original position. But one corner of our triangular arrangement is empty. We look behind us. We have left one man behind. Backyard Sledding
I stand on my sled-turned-snowboard and hold my arms out straight. I bend my knees, bracing for the impact of an improbable fall. I slide downward, accelerating until I reach the first bump. I release upward. For a moment, I am flying. Bedtime Stories A cow jumps over a moon. A mouse runs down a clock. Humpty Dumpty sits on a wall. Little Betty Blue drops a shoe. Little Bo Beep misplaces her sheep. Three Blind Mice lose their tails. A baby with a lightning bolt scar is left on the doorstep. The Taggerung is born, an otter with a fourpetal mark on his right paw. He will be a legendary warrior. Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who and Mrs. Which bestow upon Meg the gift of love and knowledge. She saves her brother from IT. A little prince travels the universe, stumbling across a king, a drunkard, a geographer, a lamplighter, a businessman and a vain man. Before flying home to his rose, the little prince lands in
the desert, where he meets our narrator. Please keep an eye out for the little prince, the narrator begs of us. Maybe, one day, he will return. Maybe the narrator will meet another little prince, who asks for a drawing of a sheep but instead accepts one of a box. Maybe the “grown-ups” will be moved by the narrator’s Drawing Number One. But the grown-ups see only a hat. And the narrator becomes a pilot. Golf Course, 1 a.m. What do you see in the stars? Constellations. The Big Dipper pours wine into the leaves of evergreens dotting the periphery. Orion’s Belt moves with the footwork of a master huntsman. Cassiopeia struggles against the confinement of her throne. Science. Spheres of plasma. Thermonuclear fusion. Gravitational collapse. Entropy. What else do you see when you allow yourself the madness of imagination?
MIRR OR //7
Twelve Teeth COLUMN
By Elise Wien
I’ve just received 12 teeth from a friend of mine. I needed one or two to use as props, then it came up in casual conversation that this friend never lost any of her baby teeth, had to go to the dentist to get them all pulled, and still had them in her possession. Most of them still have the roots attached. I only need a few for props, but with the dozen of them laid out on the table before me, I think of the fantastic pranking opportunities that these items bring: sneezing in class and having a tooth come shooting out of my nose, going to pay for something and opening up a coin purse full of molars, scraping canines out of my Hinman Box surreptitiously. I’ve entered a world of possibilities wherein I am a witch, a madwoman. Corinne won’t let me bring them into the room. Kayuri doesn’t live with us anymore. Corinne says this should be the topic of the column. MADNESS, as in, WE ARE MAD. MAD! MAD! MAD! FULL OF MADNESS that Kayuri can’t live with us. Other than breaking up a roommate group that has been together since freshman fall, Kayuri’s leaving points to a larger housing issue on campus. The D-Plan was established in 1972, when Dartmouth first began admitting women and feared it did not have enough housing space on campus. Then the Morton fire happened, and that threat became a reality. Kayuri won’t live with us, so maybe we’ll all finally leave our rooms and maybe we’ll see the sunlight. Meanwhile, Kayuri’s found a place offcampus for her leave term. She gets here on Friday, but recently snapped us a photo: “On
hour six of watching Bad Girls Club.” For her, too, the madness has begun to set in. Another friend stops by our room. She has an appointment for a mental evaluation at Dick’s House. It is the Sunday before term starts, and they’re already booked up for weeks. A different friend who knows she has an eating disorder cannot get an appointment, either. When I receive the teeth, I am sitting with a third friend. “I need to work on this piece about madness,” I tell her. I remember talking to her last winter about our experiences with Dick’s House counselors. When we realized we were both seeing the same person, the friend asked what I thought of her. “I think she’s good!” I say. I’ve never seen anyone else, so I have nothing to compare it to. She listened to me and spoke kindly, kept her office well-stocked with tissues. Sometimes she gave me an “oh-poor-you” facial expression, which wasn’t my favorite, but overall the experience was helpful. I found it jarring, the first time I went, how many people I knew in the waiting room. Not just people I knew, but people I regarded highly, a collection of my most-esteemed peers. How long had they been meeting here without me, saying things like, “I need to talk to my shrink?” My friend who saw the same counselor as me had a different opinion. “She suggested I see a different therapist,” she said of the doctor. “I told her I didn’t think she was working through the problem hard enough, that she wasn’t pushing herself to be
the best therapist she could be.” “That’s not really your job though, is it?” I said, reflecting on how the doctor must’ve felt having a patient counsel her on how to counsel. My roommates and I have talked about the inverted nature of medical treatment: how those most in need of help likely can’t afford counseling; how poverty and loss, mistreatment and lack of dignity can be chronic to the mind and body; how some cultures dismiss mental illness altogether. Kayuri was raised in a family that believed you suck it up. When she would be bratty and refuse to do her times tables, she would get locked in the basement. She’s really good at mental math. Corinne’s really good at mental math, too, because she was a lonely child who would “walk around the playground in circles practicing multiplication.” Obviously, there is an issue of correlation versus causation here. But it just feels like the infatuation with mental health as an establishment grows out of a particularly western obsession with psychoanalysis. There are other ways to practice wellness, and some of them may take the form of the community, the family unit or just the self. I think I’m drawn to the institutional model because I grew up watching a lot of Woody Allen, so neuroses took on a glamorous lilt. Like many, I love Allen’s work, and I am ashamed of him as a figure, and I am unsure how to reconcile these two. A schism between thought and praxis feels like the definition of neurosis, and so the cycle starts anew. But back to the teeth. When my friend first
took them out of their containers, little wooden anthropomorphic teeth, I had the bizarre urge to put them in my mouth. This is where teeth go. This is mad. The first day of senior spring, I felt a yearning to get closer to my friends. I would spend lunchtimes with acquaintances, I would say “hi” to students I haven’t seen in terms, I would make a concerted effort to take in the fullness of a place where I can be surrounded by impressive people. The second day of senior spring, I thought, if we were going to be best friends, it would have happened by now. I’m sure the oscillation will continue until graduation. For now, I am trying to work on nonattachment, on moving through and beyond the physical manifestations of my emotions. The Dartmouth student who is mad is the one who pays attention. When people talk about spaces where they feel safe, these are often spaces where their valid emotions are not construed as madness or where everyone accepts that madness may be the only way to cope. We pass through madness and do not fully emerge on the other side. Over break, I spoke to a friend who’s interested in magic, alchemy and mysticism. He hopes to master his own subjectivity to experience the world as he would like it or in any mutable form. Surely this is madness, in that it rejects a single view of the world. But I wonder about the imaginative possibilities that become available to us when we move through the world with mutable or multi-subjectivity. Maybe I will try walking around as the woman with 12 extra teeth in her pocket. I’ll let you know how it goes.
8// MIRROR
Mad about spring in Hanover PHOTO
By Eliza McDonough
I’m Mad(Libs) INTERACTIVE
By Andrew Sosanya
Hanlon’s Letter To the ____ (noun) of the Dartmouth ____ (noun), Welcome back! A year ago, I appointed a ____ (noun) to study the possibility of a ____ (noun). For this spring term, we are delighted to announce Dartmouth’s new ____ (noun) institute. It will offer ____ (noun) for faculty and students to elevate ____ (noun/gerund), ____ (noun/gerund) and ____ (noun/gerund). It will provide resources for students, including ____ (adjective) ____ (noun) opportunities as well as ____ (adjective) development funds, and create a visible infrastructure that will help us secure new ____ (plural noun). The institute will help our community soar. This idea was ____ (adverb) approved by Dartmouth’s Board of Trustees on March 15. We write to express the concern of ____ (noun). Although not terribly dangerous, there have been recent incidents, including one in which a ’20 was (adverb) apprehended. We ask everyone to heed caution of the ____ (noun). As we work together these last ____ (adjective) months of the 2016-2017 academic year, please ____ (verb) for one another, ____ (verb) to one another and allow the knowledge you have gained here to infuse the ____ (plural noun) that you will use during your time at Dartmouth. Remember the ____ (noun) of community, how much we ____ (verb) on the ____ (noun) and goodwill of others and how essential it is for each of us to support our friends and neighbors. I am so ____ (adverb) ____ (past tense verb) and ____ (past tense verb) to be a part of such a ____ (adjective) community. Sincerely, Phil “________” (noun/gerund) Hanlon