MIRROR 9.18.19
TURNING UP THE HEAT 4-5
PROFESSOR SWAINE Q&A 6
TTLG: FOURTH CLASS 7 BELLA JACOBY/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF
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Editors’ Note
Stepping out of the Silos STORY
DIVYA KOPALLE/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF
With a summer of exciting experiences behind us and an autumn of endless possibilities ahead of us, this term is one of new beginnings. The ’23s are navigating being away from home for the first time, the ’22s are exploring a new sense of place on campus, many ’21s are completing their first term in different locations than their friends and the ’20s are appreciating their last “firsts” of Dartmouth. But regardless of what year you are, the sea of new faces, ideas, perspectives and opportunities surrounding us during this time can make anyone feel a little lost. In this week’s Mirror, we explore inclusivity at Dartmouth — particularly how it is built by the communities we are a part of and strengthened through the experiences that we have during our time here. We explore a new consortium on campus, take a closer look at the exhibits on display in Baker-Berry and consider the College’s role in the current immigration debate. The new beginnings of this September don’t just apply to our lives as students — it also means new approaches to how we view ourselves as people and our greater roles in society. This term, we urge you to try something new but stay passionate about what it is that you care about. Strike up a conversation with your neighbor in your 9L, and appreciate being in a new setting and not knowing any of the people around you. It is time that we start finding the beauty in the fact that Dartmouth would not be the same if it was missing any one of us or the experiences that we bring.
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9.18.19 VOL. CLXXV NO. 62 MIRROR EDITORS NIKHITA HINGORANI KYLEE SIBILIA ASSOCIATE MIRROR NOVI ZHUKOVSKY EDITOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF DEBORA HYEMIN HAN PUBLISHER AIDAN SHEINBERG COPY EDITOR JULIAN NATHAN
By Arianna Khan
We often think about migrants in the context of the many different identities that they may or may not hold: as parents and as children, as agricultural workers and as Congresswomen, as individuals with rare diseases and as criminals, as threats and as the threatened. But what about sexuality? Even though it is a crucial aspect of one’s identity, sexuality is something that we don’t typically think consider when we attempt to understand migrants and what constitutes their identity. EngBeng Lim, professor of women’s, gender and sexuality studies, says that we should. “Part of the reason why we’re interested in race, migration and sexuality as a constellation is to address how we might think about intersectional issues,” Lim said. “We must insist upon the diasporic, decolonial conditions that are often overlooked when we think about some of these issues relating to movements of people across borders.” This desire for a change in general mentality drove him to establish the Consortium of Studies in Race, Migration and Sexuality. According to a recruiting email sent out to campus this term, the consortium is an interdisciplinary research and teaching initiative that aims to understand the transnational migrant by focusing on intersectionality. The email also notes that the program hopes to place Dartmouth at the forefront of a developing trend in academia that emphasizes the interconnection between the various identities a person may hold and asserts that they should be considered together rather than as isolated factors. “It’s an opportunity to think about how these fields have been evolving and are a lot more coalitional and comparative now,” Lim said. “The consortium is reflecting research that demands that we think about comparative ethnic and queer studies as a unit rather than as separate entities.”
This year is the program’s first — that Garcia’s support enabled her to a trial period during which students explore interdisciplinary subjects will engage in different activities in including race, immigration and order to further develop the program post 9/11 anti-immigrant sentiment and establish at a more permanent and that this experience motivated structure for the organization. Among her to stay at Dartmouth with the the program’s planned activities consortium for one more year. are a speaker series, collaborative “I really want Dartmouth to create workshops and a culminating two- a space for a new way of thinking day national conference. about things,” Alvarado-Patlán said. According to Lim, the program “Research is so interdisciplinary, so developed initially out of an unmet [being] a graduate with that toolset demand for Asian studies on campus and all those skills is going to be but has since grown much broader in huge.” scope to fill another need: the need Alvarado-Patlán works largely on for dialogue and recognition of the the consortium’s undergraduateintersection facing side. One b e t w e e n “To create a of her longdisciplines. term goals for Lim is not the consortium where we the program is only one who can break our of the to create new feels this need; paths of study other professors silos that put us in very — including in race, ethnic, narrow constructions a major, a gender and of who we are and domestic study sexuality studies program and are also getting what we do is really a foreign study involved in the valuable.” program — that c on s ortium ’s emphasize the work and intersectional research. One of - MATTHEW GARCIA, lenses through them, history and LATIN AMERICAN, LATINO which we should Latin American, consider the Latino and AND CARIBBEAN STUDIES predicament of C a r i b b e a n PROFESSOR the transnational studies professor m i g r a n t . M a t t h e w Currently, the Garcia, expressed his interest consortium offers undergraduate in this new, broader approach fellowships and research positions for that the consortium takes with students interested in participating interdisciplinary programs. in the development of these new “Oftentimes, interdisciplinary academic paths. programs are stuck in different kinds Though the program is in its early of silos. They’re not methodological stages, its focus on migrants and silos, but they’re to some extent intersectionality could not be more geographical and identity silos.” relevant to the political moment that Garcia said. “To create a consortium the world is currently in. According where we can break out of the to Garcia, that is no coincidence. silos that put us in very narrow “We live in a world where constructions of who we are and migrants are assumed to be outsiders what we do is really valuable.” and interlopers and problems,” Garcia served as a thesis advisor Garcia said. “And that is just not to Teresa Alvarado-Patlán ’19, who consistent with the ways in which majored in LALCS and is now our scholarship should view these serving as a postgraduate fellow with individuals and their contributions to the consortium. Alvarado-Patlán said our society.”
Generations of Community — Or Lack Thereof STORY
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By Maggie Doyle
While passing through the Baker Library lobby (also known as “blobby”), one is often too focused on greeting friends or assessing the KAF line to notice the glass cases featuring special exhibits. I am certainly guilty of this obliviousness — I seldom, if ever, stop to appreciate the carefully-curated collection of artifacts and historical blurbs right before my eyes. The library’s current exhibition in the Baker Library Main Hall is “Generations of Community,” which “explores the ways in which fellowship has and has not been manifested throughout the history of the College,” according to the project description. Caitlin Deerin ’22 said she normally does not notice these exhibits. “I didn’t really know what they were about. I guess I could’ve stopped, but I didn’t,” Deerin said. Deerin added that this exhibit, however, seems especially relevant given that “The idea of community is really ingrained into Dartmouth’s fabric and our culture, whether it’s clubs, or Trips or anything else.” The project is the third in a four-part series of exhibits, which are a part of the library’s contribution to Dartmouth’s 250th anniversary celebrations. Shaun Akhtar, a metadata librarian and one of the co-curators of the “Generations of Community Exhibit,” elaborated on the exhibits’ origins. “[The library staff] decided to curate a number of exhibits that explored the College’s history through fairly broad lenses, and these were defined based on some of the pillars the College identified as its own general celebration.” The first exhibit, “On Solid Ground,” explored the geographies of the College, specifically through a sense of place. The second exhibit, “Curriculum Vitae,” traced the history of the liberal arts on campus and the fourth exhibit goes up next month and will be titled “Adventurous Spirit.” The “Generations of Community” exhibit envisions Dartmouth as a universe of communities. It paints Dartmouth as a community — including the students, families,
alumni, faculty and staff — and it also looks at sub-communities within Dartmouth, such as sports teams, clubs and Greek organizations. Akhtar told me the library’s team of curators started research for this exhibit in late summer 2017. He said that it was impossible to be entirely comprehensive because of the plethora of material available in the College’s collections, so he approached the project with the goal of wanting to learn as much as possible and present a multifaceted picture, highlighting a diverse range of experiences. Akhtar said for him and his co-curators, the project was an opportunity to use the resources the Dartmouth collections offer to critically examine the changing ideas of fellowship and community throughout the College’s history. “We hope it will cause visitors to examine and consider communities they’ve participated in, sought, or built at Dartmouth,” Akhtar said. The exhibit is divided into six panels, each exploring community in a different way. The first panel is entitled “Coming to Dartmouth.” It examines people’s entrance to the Dartmouth community, including First-Year Trips, historical and modern Orientation Week programming, and the Homecoming bonfire. Among other less predictable items, this section features “freshmen beanies,” a lost College tradition wherein freshmen were required to purchase caps so that members of the entering class would be more easily identifiable to upperclassmen. The tradition lasted about 60 years, ending with the Class of 1973. Akhtar highlighted one artifact in this panel, which he said he was especially excited to find in his research. The “Dartmouth Disorientation” guide was an unofficial guide created for the incoming Class of 1972 by a collection of upperclassmen who wanted to offer a more honest look at the realities and challenges of the College. Akhtar said he likes this piece because it demonstrates the multiplicity
of the Dartmouth community. “It is a representation of how there are multiple pathways to this community, to learn about its pros and cons, and to think about how students and alumni look out for one another, to try and build a better community looking at circumstances in which the College maybe hasn’t lived up to its ideals,” he said. The second panel, “Living Communities,” explores how living environments have influenced students’ sense of community, or lack thereof, in Hanover. The panel references the communities of freshmen floors and alternative campus living environments, like Living and Learning Communities. However, the dominant focus of the panel’s examination of living communities is Greek life at Dartmouth. The exhibit explores both the positive and negative cultural consequences of the rise of fraternities as a source community at Dartmouth. “The rise of fraternities in the early 19th century provided studentcontrolled social spaces and new opportunities for intellectual growth … they have given students a sense of belonging, but they have also perpetuated patterns of discrimination and have been a frequent subject of campaigns for social justice,” a placard read. The referenced “campaigns for social justice” include a 1954 student body vote to prohibit recognition of fraternities considering race, religion or national origin in their new member evaluations. The exhibit’s third panel is “The Big Green” and spotlights the College’s various varsity, club and intramural sports. Team photos range from the 1897 varsity football team to the 2015 Big Green Football Team taking home the Ivy League Championship title. The panel also includes a history of Dartmouth’s mascot before it was the Big Green. Until 1971, the sports teams were known unofficially as “the Indians.” A group of Native Americans at Dartmouth eventually released a statement declaring that
“various traditions and symbols used by the Dartmouth community are based upon insensitivity to the culture of Native American Peoples” and requested the College cease usage of the Indian symbol. The fourth panel, “Creation and Collaboration,” analyzes arts and culture as unifying forces, facilitating fellowship through shared creation. The panel also appreciates the role the arts have played in both portraying inclusive and exclusive college communities. One such example of art critiquing exclusivity at Dartmouth is “You Laugh,” a play in which a group of nine female students speak out about hostile and sexist behavior they had witnessed. An excerpt from the script states that “It is difficult for an individual woman to stand up against the Dartmouth traditions which insult and degrade her and serve to alienate her from other women and from men.” The fifth panel, entitled “Round the Girdled Earth …” focuses on how the Dartmouth community operates outside of Hanover through alumni. The College is famous for its tightlyknit alumni network, which often maintains and builds connections between alumni and current students. The panel features reunion posters, photos of alumni, and old issues at Dartmouth Alumni Magazine. Eileen Cave ’76 reflected in an oral history interview that alumni can choose what a comfortable level of engagement looks like for them. “[My engagement] has gone up and down. And [now] it’s back up again, because at this stage in my life, I look at it and think: ‘Okay, now it’s time for you to give back. Now it’s time for you to be a mentor.’” Cave’s mentality is reflected by a long history of engaged alumni. College President John Sloan Dickey ’29 regularly concluded his Commencement addresses with the promise that the word is ‘so long,’ because in the Dartmouth fellowship there is no parting.” The sixth and final panel is entitled “The Next Chapter.” Like the previous
panel, it focuses on alumni, but more specifically on their relationship with the College as a whole after graduation than with each other. In a quote displayed in this case, Gregorio A. Millett ’90 reflects on how his time at Dartmouth affected his alumni experience. “I think there are a lot of us who have a very complicated relationship with the school … We’re really glad that we had the opportunities that we had at Dartmouth. But I don’t feel the same about the traditions of Dartmouth, you know, that fellow [alumni] do, who primarily are white, and others, about having to come back every year or this type of allegiance to the school, because it was a really difficult experience,” his statement reads. Though the College often showcases proud alumni who point to Dartmouth as some of the best years of their lives, other alumni share Millet’s complicated relationship with the College after graduation. The case features a critique from Ed Hermance ’62 condemning the College’s unwillingness to include sexual orientation in its nondiscrimination policy and speaking to the “fear and loathing of gay people” in the student body during his time at Dartmouth. Scotty Tamkin ’22 said that seeing the exhibit gave him renewed gratitude for the progress the College has made. “I realized how fortunate I am to be at Dartmouth today instead of a few decades ago … Dartmouth still has so much more work to do before it can be called perfect, but I’m inspired to keep standing up against barriers to building our community, such as sexism, racism and homophobia,” Tamkin said. The “Generations of Community” exhibit, as well as the three other 250th celebration exhibits, is available online so that alumni and other remote community members can experience the exhibit. However, for those of us on campus, the exhibit is one worth stopping at blobby and looking behind the glass cases for.
Turning Up the Heat: A Summer of Immigration Activism 4// MIRR OR
STORY
By Novi Zhukovsky
There’s a saying at the College do. Come into communities where that it’s easy to get caught up in the there is resistance to ICE and show “Dartmouth bubble.” Since Hanover, us that we are helpless in the face NH — pop. 11,485 — provides of their power, might and cruelty. limited forms of entertainment for They are showing that no one can college students, escape,” she said. the attention Many of the school "This is exactly what activist groups c o m m u n i t y ICE loves to do. Come were quick to tur ns inward. respond. Rise! into communities Not much Upper Valley, can lever our where there is a grassroots attention away resistance to ICE and organization from the center. focused on T his summer, show us that we are immigration h o w e v e r , helpless in the face of policy, staged a the sacred in Hartford their power, might and rally Dartmouth on Aug. 14 to b u b b l e w a s cruelty." protest the popped. ICE arrests, Between July according to 29 and Aug. 1, -ALEXIS JETTER, WOMEN, Valley News. The 18 people were GENDER AND SEXUALITY protest kicked arrested by off in Lyman STUDIES PROFESSOR U.S. Customs Point Park and Border with speeches, Patrol agents in and eventually Hartford, VT. These raids were part evolved into a march along Route of a nationwide federal crackdown on 14, with the group coming to a stop immigrants without documentation. at the Route 5 intersection. The rally But some observers thought they spread across the road and blocked came at a suspicious moment, just traffic for several hours. The protest when the Hartford Selectboard eventually ended with a total of 26 was set to discuss passing a local arrests — including those of several ordinance that addresses how much Dartmouth faculty and students. information History professor local police are "There was a real Pamela Voekel required to share was among w i t h f e d e r a l feeling that with the those arrested. i m m i g r a t i o n privelege we have, While she had o f f i c e r s either as professors not attended reg arding the the rally with documentation or older, wealthier the intention of status of local people, it made sense being arrested, citizens. English in the moment, a n d w o m e n , for us to put ourselves she decided that g e n d e r a n d in the fight." it was the right sexuality studies thing to do. professor Alexis Voekel explained Jetter, a veteran -PAMELA VOEKEL, that many of the activist who has HISTORY PROFESSOR other protestors been involved in who were protesting ICE arrested shared activity near a similar view. campus, said she believes that “There was a real feeling that authorities used these raids to with the privilege we have, either as discourage protest. professors or older, wealthier people, “This is exactly what ICE loves to it made sense for us to put ourselves
in the fight,” Voekel said. As a professor who teaches Mexican history, many of Voekel’s students are part of the affected communities or are undocumented themselves. Moreover, her knowledge of Mexican history gives her a deeper empathy for the challenges Mexican migrants experience. History professor Annelise Orleck, another participant in the Rise! Upper Valley protest, believes that professors can play key roles in guiding political activism. Orleck said she thinks that professors can help advise and inform students who may have less experience with political activism. She also said that professors — especially history professors — are well-positioned to help their students understand the wider background of the movements so that their activism is more intentional and knowledge-based. “Knowing history is really important. And I think that faculty can help place their students activism in a larger historical context,” she said. Both Voekel and Orleck believe that regardless of their own personal political views, they have a responsibility to create a classroom environment in which their students feel open to express their own opinions. They say that they welcome respectful discourse and dissent and encourage their students to base their beliefs — whatever they may be — in knowledge and understanding. “My sense of responsibility as a teacher is to create a thoughtful, respectful, open environment for discussion in my classroom and to encourage students to ground their arguments in evidence and speak to each other respectfully,” Orleck said. “I know that I have to make sure that students of all kinds, and holding of all views, feel safe to express themselves in my classroom.” Voekel said her own political views are not the focus. While she makes no attempt to hide them, she argues that students learn more when their assumptions and biases are challenged rather than when
being lectured or told what to think. historically been overrepresented in But the real world continues the Board of Trustees,” Jetter said. to intrude. Following the August Voekel also said that Dartmouth raids and the RISE! Upper Valley does not consistently support protest, ICE set up a checkpoint students with immigration issues. along I-89, just outside of Lebanon, Students frequently complain to the day before her about how Pre-Orientation difficult it is for for Dartmouth’s "Dartmouth doesn't them to speak i n t e r n a t i o n a l have a practice of with a faculty s t u d e n t s. member who has listening closely Dartmouth was the resources and quick to produce enough and k n ow l e d g e t o a s t a t e m e n t priveleging the help them. And criticizing ICE’s as immigrationa c t i o n s a n d voices of people related issues emphasizing the from the affected are frequently school’s mission time-sensitive, communities." to maintain maintaining an a school efficient and environment that -PAMELA VOEKEL, intuitive system is “open” and is especially HISTORY PROFESSOR “welcoming.” important. S o m e , however, believe Voekel said that that the College’s comments did she believes that Dartmouth’s not go far enough. Jetter said o rg a n i z at i o n a l i s s u e s i n t h e that the statement was weak, and immigration office are due to a that Dartmouth needs to take a combination of factors. Similarly to stronger public stance to protect its Jetter, she said that systemic issues undocumented students. However, within the College can hinder its she acknowledged that behind closed motivation and ability to streamline doors, Dartmouth has taken measures access to resources and aid. to protect its at-risk students. She “Dartmouth doesn’t have a said that the contrast between the practice of listening closely enough College’s public and privileging and private the voices of actions reflects "It's a two-pronged people from a clear strategy problem. We have the affected to support its communities,” many conservative students without she said. “And calling the ire of alums and an that’s in part its conservative overwhelmingly white because we are alumi and also the whitest faculty." donors. faculty in the “Remember, Ivy League. And when the that matters. Not -PAMELA VOEKEL, president of because there D a r t m o u t h HISTORY PROFESSOR aren’t plenty of speaks, the alums liberals, or that are the audience. any given faculty And many of them are conservative. member is a racist, but overall, it In fact, let’s be specific here, many creates a kind of blind spot. We tend of the people who have historically not to respond with the same kind given the most money have been of alacrity we should be responding conservative. Republican hedge fund with … And so it’s a two-pronged managers are the ones who have the problem. We have many conservative most money to give, and they have alums and an overwhelmingly white
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ELIZABETH JANOWSKI/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF
In July, members of the Dartmouth community and the Upper Valley came together to protest inhumane conditions within immigrant detention camps as part of the Lights for Liberty rally.
faculty.” There has been a mixed response to the recent events by students across campus. Riley Gordon ’22, president of the Dartmouth Democrats, wrote in an email that he condemned recent federal actions and believes that members of the Dartmouth community need to support each other during this time. “The scare tactics of ICE and CBP are not welcome here. It’s important not only for local leaders to take steps to welcome and protect immigrants but for students, regardless of immigration or citizenship status, to know their rights and to stick up for one another,” he wrote.
Conversely, the Dartmouth security are important, they strongly Re p u bl i c a n s criticized p l e d g e d t h e i r "I do think that your t h e C o l l e g e ’s support for the declaration generation will lead efforts of U.S. of “open and I m m i g r a t i o n the way because you welcoming a n d C u s t o m s have to." values.” The Enforcement club said that and disagreed Dartmouth’s with the way in -ANNELISE ORLECK, statement which the College disregarded “the HISTORY PROFESSOR approached their rule of law” and response to the “ir responsibly checkpoint. In an and shamelessly” official post on its Facebook page, denounced the morality of the the organization stated that while it federal law enforcement. agrees with Dartmouth’s stance that Regardless of which side of the issues regarding immigration and political spectrum on which one
falls, immigration is an issue that will continue to create friction within the nation until Congress is able to craft a coherent immigration policy. Judging by the recent activity on campus and in the larger Upper Valley, many are unhappy with the direction that the current American administration is taking. Headlines about detention camps, arrest raids and family separation have been prominent in the news and on social media, dividing the populace. Immigration issues have also taken a front row seat in the recent Democratic presidential debates, with each candidate offering his or her opinion on how to solve
the crisis. However, there is some hope. This issue has brought together students, faculty and lifetime activists who are passionate about finding a solution. “I am excited by the political and moral mobilization of the youngest activists,” Orleck said. “And I do think that your generation will lead the way because you have to. And because I am a historian and an activist, I believe that you always need to know whose shoulders you stand on and learn from the experiences of those who came before. I am very heartened by this growing cooperation across the generations of activists.”
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Inclusivity as Political Theory: Q&A with Professor Swaine STORY
By Yuna Kim
As 2020 and its looming presidential election approach and Democratic debates continue through the fall, the topics of government and politics are becoming more prevalent in conversations on campus, with students striving to solidify their own views on various issues and policies. While I often discuss politics and policy-related topics with friends, I’m not frequently exposed to viewpoints that are really different from my own given that my friends and I mostly share similar perspectives. From an academic standpoint, I have been curious as to how the government department encourages students to share different kinds of political views. To learn more, I spoke with government professor Lucas Swaine, whose expertise includes law and ethics, political theory and liberalism. His classes on these subjects include introductory class GOVT 6, “Political Ideas,” as well as seminars such as GOVT 86.03, “Contemporary Political Thought” and GOVT 86.01, “Multiculturalism.” Swaine is also currently conducting research regarding freedom of thought and how humans can respectfully interact with those who do not share similar perspectives on politics or about life in general. Can you introduce yourself ? LS: I’m an associate professor of government here at Dartmouth. I’m of Canadian extraction, was born in Ottawa, raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba and have been at Dartmouth since 2001. Do you think that Dartmouth generally provides an inclusive environment for students? Have you seen it improve over the course of your time here? LS: My sense has been that there is both increasing focus on inclusivity and increasing efforts to have greater inclusivity, as well as increasing awareness with problems of bias — and also, I suppose, increasing efforts to diminish it. I think it’s fair to say that we as a department aim to be inclusive and welcoming to people of different backgrounds and people of different kinds of outlooks and lifestyles and commitments and so forth. We
encourage that, we value it, we’re not threatened by it and we plan to continue to embrace and to celebrate it. Howdoyoubelievethegovernment department promote inclusivity? LS: I think we try, first of all, to have instructors who are interested in bringing a diversity of viewpoints and approaches to the topics that they study in the classroom. I would also say that people in the government department try to be conscious and thoughtful about how they not only construct their syllabi, noting the ideas and authors and voices they include but also being clear about whom they do not. Sometimes there are pedagogical reasons for focusing on one stream of sources or resources, but in terms of course materials and approaches to thinking and so forth, that’s where we find a lot of the curricular side of efforts to be more inclusive. Within the scope of your own classes, how do you encourage inclusivity and try to reduce the amount of bias that might come into play during classroom interactions? LS: I try to make sure that individuals are treated as full equals with due respect and that their actual opinions and ideas and ruminations on subjects are included in discussion and taken seriously. That’s one important component of inclusivity — making sure people can express themselves, and not only that they express themselves, but that their views are taken seriously and reflected upon. As for bias, there are numerous ways in which bias can enter. One thing that, at least in my case, I try to do is not only not tell people what to think about different subjects but also not reveal what I think about different subjects so that students can feel more at liberty to form their own views without trying to match them up with some sense of what the professor might be thinking or want them to think. Can you tell me more about the research you’ve done related to the topics of inclusivity and bias in political thought? LS: The current project I’m working on — which is a large project on freedom
COURTESY OF LUCAS SWAINE
of thought with some independent book chapters and journalism articles in it that I plan to draw together as a book — does speak to questions of diversity, inclusion, bias and so forth. For example, that particular project considers, among other things, how we should, as democratic citizens, treat other people who think differently from the way we do and what sorts of things individuals or groups or political institutions could rightfully do to try to encourage people to speak their minds. By the same token, the freedom of thought project
also considers the limits on how far government or individual parties or groups can go to get you to engage in discussion, reveal your thoughts, change your thinking and so forth. I’ve done previous work on freedom of conscience and uncommon religious communities and people with uncommon religious views in pluralistic democracies. A lot of the work that I do pertains to a world in which you find a multiplicity of kinds of people, different doctrines, different ideas of what’s good in life and so forth, and that diversity
really is something to be appreciated and supported for a variety of different reasons. There, too, I’m indirectly trying to address some of these issues. The book that I have coming out in early 2020 is actually about unhealthy forms of individuality — harmful or toxic forms of living that are dangerous and damaging to other people — and, in fact, how to mitigate those problems so that the rest of us can get along well together. This article has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
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TTLG: Reflection as a Fourth Class TTLG
By Namrata Ramakrishna
When I came to Dartmouth, I thought I was ready to do the worst academically. Call it low selfesteem, call it imposter syndrome — a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And, at times, I have been the worst in class. How can I describe what it’s like to look at the range of scores for economics and biology midterms and see yours at the bottom of the range? Especially after you actually tried? Sometimes, there is no direct relationship between the effort you put in and the outcome you get when it comes to academics. I’ve come to accept that here. Even at a place like Dartmouth, where academics are foundational to our experience and excellence is expected, I may have been ready to accept not being good at school, but the effect doing poorly academically had on how I defined myself came as a complete surprise. I didn’t know who I was beyond the grades I was getting and, at least in the beginning, all my grades were bad. For a while, I leaned into whatever I was even slightly good at. If I couldn’t define myself well through my grades, I needed to find another way to do it. At this point, seeing myself as multifaceted was out of the question. I just wanted to replace one placeholder for my value with another. It worked for a little while. I tried to find something that was much more immediately rewarding than grades might have been: my relationships with other people. I worked hard to connect with my residents as an undergraduate advisor and to become a better friend. I invested a lot of time and energy into this because the effort I put in to connect with people on this campus has almost always led to concrete outcomes. The more vulnerable I have been, the more supported I have felt. My communities here have been accepting of my experiences, of my insecurities, of my background — and ultimately, of me.
I had become so dejected after feeling like no matter how many hours I poured into my academics, I wasn’t improving. Therefore, the moment I saw returns on the effort I put in to be a supportive friend, I got addicted. But I was investing so much energy and time, sometimes in relationships that were not even reciprocal, just to be able to hold on to the idea that I was good at something. Very quickly, however, I neared the point of diminishing returns. I didn’t have the energy to maintain these friendships because I was being emotionally drained from not filtering out the people that weren’t for me. I hadn’t realized that too much of a good thing becoming a bad thing applied to things other than cake or cookies. Finding balance has been difficult at Dartmouth because I didn’t always know how to distinguish what I was good at and who I am. I desperately wanted to put my entire self-worth into one thing because I thought it was easier that way. I didn’t want to put in the necessary time to self-reflect and find meaning based on the multifaceted aspects of who I am because I was so unfamiliar with processes of self-reflection. It all sounded like it came from a fuzzy realm far, far outside my comfort zone. So, for a while, when I floundered academically, I misdirected my attention and didn’t exactly make the right choices. But given that I had gotten through the first 18 years of my life just by pretending that everything was alright, I don’t think I can blame myself for needing a bit of time. Especially as the going got tough, and I encountered setbacks for the first time, I needed to learn how to handle it all the “right” way. I suppose I’ve felt like I’ve done nine four-course terms at Dartmouth. Because for me, figuring out how to best handle Dartmouth and best define who I am required the kind of time and effort I was only used to putting into
COURTESY OF NAMRATA RAMAKRISHNA
my schoolwork. So yes, it took me a while to learn how to find balance and not beat myself up when it looked like my hard work would never pay off. It took me time to learn how to not swing from one extreme to another, generating all my self-worth from school or something else. While I would have been deeply content to never have
had to learn to be resilient, I am glad that I learned some of those lessons now. I get to live the rest of my life equipped with a much stronger, less rigid conception of self. Over time, I also learned how to succeed at Dartmouth (hello, median!) by working smarter, utilizing the bajillion resources offered at this place and by figuring
out what I actually loved to study. But it doesn’t really matter as far as my self-worth is concerned because, as it turns out, you are not just what you do, what you are good at or even what you are bad at. You are all that and more. You are none of that and more. I didn’t know it before, and I don’t always remember it. But when I do, I tend to have a better day.
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Parts of a Whole PHOTO
By Naina Bhalla and Divya Kopalle