The Dartmouth Mirror 11/13/15

MIRROR 11.13.2015

A final nightmare|2

buzzed and confused|3

fall STYLE WATCH|4-5

swug-ing around|8 Nora Masler /THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

2// MIRROR

A Final Nightmare

EDITORS’ NOTE

When Exams Get the Best of You column

On March 29, 2013, The Mirror published Maggie and Maddie’s first joint article, “Sharing Like Wildfire.”

They were pumped. When they saw the article, however, they barely recognized it. Maddie highlighted the parts of the article that Maddie and Maggie had actually turned in, and all that was yellow were some statistics and direct quotes. To quote the article, “During spring break, the selection of a new Pope was simplified down for worldwide consumption to a succinct #whitesmoke.” Maddie and Maggie were “v” confused. They had absolutely no clue what this meant (was the pope caught smoking??) and had to google it to seem half as witty as the article made them out to be.

Needless to say, Maddie and Maggie needed to practice their journalism skills. For their next article, they covered the mystical thesis. As freshman, they knew absolutely nothing about thesis writing, so they only interviewed their freshman friends, who said things like, “Are theses graded? That’s really depressing,” and “I wouldn’t do that.” Their editors were less than amused at the lack of diversity of their sources.

On their riveting article about the 1902 Room (please read it, there are actually so many scandals #firecode #mysteriousphone), Maggie and Maddie were so excited to receive their first online comment. Unfortunately, it was from a ’68 who said they were factually incorrect in their assumption about the room’s nickname back in the day.

Since then, throughout their time at The Mirror, Maddie and Maggie covered a smorgasbord of topics from dating to hooking-up to the Dartmouth Seven. This issue of The Mirror also covers a smorgasbord of topics. Our writers explore rainy day fashion, the SWUG phenomenon and caffeine addiction. Bon appétit (for the last time)!

—Ol Mads and Lil Mags

follow @thedmirror

MIRROR R MIRROR EDITORS MADDIE BROWN MAGGIE SHIELDS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF KATIE McKAY

PUBLISHER JUSTIN LEVINE

EXECUTIVE EDITORS LUKE McCANN JESSICA AVITABILE

B y andrew kingsley

It’s the end of week nine. The leaves are gone and the cold is here to stay. The sun will not appear for another six months.

We all know what time it is. Finals! Campus stress levels will soon skyrocket. The 1902 Room will smell of sleeplessness and fear.

The stacks will become an eight-story panic room. Freshman will use their notes as tissues. But are finals really that bad? We may be bumped and bruised, but we make it through them time and time again. We Yik Yak and Snapchat our woes, but we make finals much worse than they are.

Inspired by Dave Doyle’s “Ultimate Final Exam,” this is what we make our finals out to be like when we’re worrying.

Art Histor y: Explain why this test itself is art and cite which movement(s) it belongs to. Write your essay as a Pollock drip painting. Additionally, go to the MoMA and convince a surly grandfather that his four-year-old grandniece could NOT have made that painting.

Biology: Cure cancer. You only have a scalpel, a Band-Aid and some DayQuil.

Chemistry: Discover a new element.

We have provided a Bunsen burner and a rack of test tubes. Define its atomic weight, electron configuration and molar heat capacity. Then turn it into gold.

Chinese: Build a greater wall. Your instructions are in Old Mandarin.

Classics: Write an epic poem in Greek about your childhood. Dactylic hexameter required. The last two to finish will fight to the death as gladiators.

Comparative Literature: Compare all of literature.

Computer Science: While this test buffers, fix GreenPrint and permanently update Java using Python, all while battling a hungry python.

Economics: Sell your soul.

Education: Describe the irony of this exam. Define the inadequacies of each multiple-choice question. Rewrite your own improved exam, and distribute it to the class. Then take each other’s tests.

Mark their inadequacies.

English: Is the pen mightier than the sword? Under your seat you will find the bloodthirsty Grendel from Beowulf. Defeat him using Derridean hermeneutics.

Environmental Science: This test is written on paper. Only No. 2 pencils are acceptable.

Fifteen trees were slaughtered for these exams. Are you just gonna take it, or are

Student at Clinton event: “Yeah, I went to Exeter, so I have a lot of experience with campaigns.”

“Something someone saidsenior ’17: “I haven’tfunny danced topless since inyear Collis thatschool. one night.”

—Drunk of high But I’m from L.A. so that was totally normal.”

17

KATE HERRINGTON/ THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

Andrew Kingsley ’16 prepares for his final by physically injesting his notes. You should try it. you gonna do somethin’ about it?

Ethics: Cheat on this test. Phones must be used during bathroom breaks.

Remember the honor principle.

Film: Reshoot “Interstellar” (2014) using only your iPhone, but make it into an anime western musical. Include specific allusions to “Citizen Kane” (1941) and “Breathless” (1960). Statler and Waldorf will be your critics.

Geography: Using geoinformatics, locate Amelia Earhart, the Holy Grail and the Wild Things — bonus points if you find where to get a good bagel in town.

Government: Return with Donald Trump’s hair on a skewer.

History: Trace the growth of civilization through time, beginning with the Olmecs in 1600 B.C. and ending in modern day.

Include references to at least 40 empires.

You may bring one index card with notes.

Linguistics: An alien race has arrived on Earth. They only speak in glottal stops.

Learn their language and prevent them from destroying the planet. UH uh uh UH UH. That means, “you have one hour” in their language. They sound angry.

Math: Find x and y. Then find my ex and ask her why she left her cookbooks here. No one wants “Gluten Free Felines” or “To Kale a Mockingbird,” Karen!

Music: While wearing noise-cancelling headphones, play Rachmaninoff’s Third Piano Concerto (1909). Remember, the wrong keys are electrified.

Neuroscience: Place a patient in an fMRI. Force them to watch a GOP debate.

Endure their screams and agony as you try to chart their brain activation. Describe the

’16 at Christie event: “I can’t wait to hear him lie to my face. Jeb can fix it.”

deterioration of the frontal lobe.

Philosophy: Can proof be found in pudding, or anywhere for that matter?

Can truth set you free? If so, what is truth?

Verify. Then falsify. Use epistemological solipsism to question the existence of this test. Yes, you still must take it.

Physics: A car of mass 40kg travelling at 3m/s collides with a truck of mass 60kg travelling at 2m/s. This is just a metaphor.

What existed before the Big Bang? Use specific evidence.

Psychology: Read the mind of the person to your right. Write down their thoughts as Rorschach inkblots. To submit, traverse the rat maze at the front of the class. You will be timed. Hurry you rodents!

Religion: Each student must invent a religion that centers around themselves as a god. Pair up. Convert your partner. Do not be converted. Holy wars and divine interventions are fair game.

Sociology: Using what you know from this course, transform Dartmouth into a utopia. Novack and the D-Plan cannot change.

Women and Gender Studies: Take down the entire patriarchy. Dismantle all oppression. Reclaim the word “b****.”

Then rewrite a famous literary work from a feminist perspective. Previous examples have included: “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman” “Moby_____; or, The Whale” “I Spy: The Male Gaze in Pictures” “Where’s Walda?”

Extra Credit: Recommend your professor for tenure.

Student in Novack: “Do guys like you more if you’re good at pong?”

’18 talking about his student “Something organization: “They are the Woman at funny Clintonsomeevent: “In my there has coup. We’re the rightful rulers. oneopinion, said in Collis thatnever one been a white male who doesn’t cheat on We’re the Royal House of Stuart night.” —Drunk 17 his wife.” and they’re the usurpers.”

Check out Overheards and Trending@Dartmouth on

MIRROR //3

Buzzed and Confused

Trending D @ RTMOUTH

The Campus Caffeine Addiction STORY

B y LINDSAY KEARE

It’s often said that Dar tmouth has a drinking problem. Yet alcohol is not always the guilty par ty. Many students limit their consumption of beer, wine and liquor to a few nights a week, but another drug is a part of their daily routines. And unlike alcohol, it’s socially acceptable before noon — we’re talking about caf feine.

One only need to look at the line at King Ar thur Flour in the moments before 10s begin to know how vital caf feine is to the average student’s morning ritual.

Be it via black cof fee, a fancy Frappuccino, green tea, soda or an energy drink, odds are that you and most people you know are ingesting some form of caffeinated beverage at least once through the day, if not more.

Laur en Huf f ’17 said she adopted her mom’s Diet Coke habits at a young age, eventually developing a dependence on the bubbly beverage.

“When I was abroad this past spring, I had a hard time not having access to normal American Diet Coke,” Huf f, who prefers soda over cof fee, said.

Indeed, cof fee is the caf feine vehicle of choice for most. Some students, the writer included, know that a big cup of cof fee will have them bouncing of f the walls.

For others, like Kyle McGoey ’16 and Kelly Bach ’16, the ef fect is less extreme. “[For me], I think the baseline ef fect is I don’t want to sleep as much as I did before,” McGoey said.

In some cases, however, the

first cup isn’t enough, and some students admit to drinking several throughout the day, even more than one at a time.

“It isn’t until I get to my third cup of cof fee that I feel the ef fect of cof fee hitting me,” Bach said.

“It’s a delicious drink, but until then it’s not doing anything for my brain.”

More astute cof fee drinkers, like Nick Hodgson ’16, can even differentiate between the caffeine ef fects of dif ferent drinks.

“If I drink a huge Dunkin Donuts cof fee... it doesn’t have as big of an ef fect on me than if I’d had French press,” Hodgson said.

Ben Vihstadt ’16 and one of the founders of Dar tmouth’s Cof fee Club, echoed this sentiment. Vihstadt said cof fee chains and many campus eateries ser ve dark roast cof fee, which is less caf feinated because roasting the beans longer causes the caf feine to incinerate.

Vihstadt acknowledged that the primar y reason many Dar tmouth students drink beverages like soda and cof fee is for the caf feine. Cof fee Club, however, is tr ying to change that.

“Bad cof fee’s just really not fun,” Vistahdt said. “I make my cof fee, and there are a lot of people in Coffee Club now who are star ting to do the same. They’ve realized how good making your own cof fee can be.”

Coffee as a social act is another main draw — students crowd the KAF line, Dir t Cowboy and sometimes Starbucks on “study breaks” to gossip about the happenings in their lives.

“People will just like to go on a study break and get a cof fee even when they don’t actually need a coffee or want a coffee,” Huff said.

Devina Kumar ’18 attributes growing up in Seattle, the bir thplace of Starbucks, as the reason for her cof fee kick.

“It wasn’t so much that I drank cof fee to drink cof fee,” Kumar said. “It was like ‘I’m going to Starbucks.’”

The bitterness of cof fee is an acquired and mature taste, and it takes many students a long time to adjust. But once a college student begins to appreciate the caf feine kick there is no stopping them.

“As I star ted drinking it more, I star ted liking it more, and I star ted drinking a lot of it. I realized that I really liked the taste,” Kumar said. “Then I found out you can use it as a study tool and that was a whole new dimension to cof fee.”

The af finity of some students, like Sarah Atac ’18, for caf feine reaches fur ther than a morning pick-me-up or as a jolt before starting in on a night of homework.

“I rely on caf feine to get through the day. I drink it at ever y meal,” Atac said. “I like being buzzed.”

Clearly, quality over quantity should be the rule of the day, but several students acknowledged that they’d let their caffeine habits go too far. Kumar once ordered a black cof fee with seven or eight shots of espresso in it when she had to write college essays.

“One, it was disgusting,” Kumar said. “Two, it was just this

really weird kind of awake but almost surreal experience.”

While many students admit to drinking cof fee on a fairly regular basis, it’s easy to imagine that many people reach for an extra cup when their schoolwork begins to pick up. During the heat of midterms and finals periods, some students said that it becomes a necessar y accessor y to their late-night study sessions.

“During finals I usually drink about 48 [ounces],” Atac said.

“You’re supposed to drink no more than 16 [ounces] a day, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.”

Despite it’s ability to keep one awake, though, not at students said that cof fee makes for an easy night of staying awake and studying. Kumar spoke about the effects of feeling a little too buzzed from caf feine, and Mcgoey called the practice of drinking cof fee to stay awake for studying “inefficient.”

Indeed, many students discussed the fact that Dar tmouth’s campus culture makes caf feine addiction understandable.

“I think the academic rigor kind of makes caffeine a necessity.

When you’re up at 2 a.m. writing a paper and you woke up at 8 a.m., you’re probably going to need caf feine to sur vive,” Huf f said.

Whether you chug espresso, down 5-hour energy shots or sip on green tea, one thing is true — “It’s hard to stay awake around here,” Vihstadt said.

Caf feine to the rescue.

Kyle McGoey is a former member of The Dar tmouth Ar ts Staf f.

darkness It’s really dark at 4 o’clock.

Novack dinners If you get there before they run out of Moe’s, is it less grim?

Formals Everyone loves getting smashed and taking a 30-minute school bus ride, right?

Course waitlist

I’ll declare a minor, I don’t care. I just want to get into this 11.

Losing friends I haven’t seen half of my friends in over a week…

KAF lines

How can so many people need caffeine at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday?

holiday music It’s never too early!

SEAMORE ZHU/ THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

Students wait in line at King Arthur Flour Cafe to get their daily caffeine fix. In the mornings, the line often stretches out the door into the lobby.

4// MIRROR

On a grimy fall morning, my hood pulled up and combat boots strapped on tight, I maneuvered through the sea of grey and black. Maybe it was due to the exhausting drainage of week nine or the fact that the foggy atmosphere was drizzling raindrops — and of course, some were participating in a demonstration that called for their dark clothing — but the entire student body seemed to have come down with a faint, sleepy syndrome. The campus no longer emulated the peak foliage from just a few weeks back; rather, college students scurried from door to door in neutral tones like ghosts.

This wasn’t the fall season we had been expecting. Sure, there had been a few sunny remnants of the earlier months, but for the past few weeks, autumn’s warm peak had transformed into an amalgamation of black rain boots, comfy Patagonia jackets and earthy flannels. Some students go with the flow, arriving to classes in the most comfortable #yolo outfits, while others strive to become the pop of color and warmth as the autumn leaves slowly dwindle down to white winter snow.

Joyce Lee ’19 (Below) Describe your fall style.

JL: Well I’m from California, so I’ve been kind of trying to adjust to the weather here which is very different and mainly it’s all about big coats. I think I’m lucky [because] big coats are kind of back.

Go-to item.

JL: [The] coat [that I am wearing]. I wear [it] all the time.

Are you ready for winter fashion?

JL: This is the extent of my coats. I ordered a thicker coat, but after that I will no longer be fashionable.

Is there anything from home that really inspires your fashion?

JL: The weird thing is, when I was in California, I wore clothes that were not that great for the climate. I wore sweaters and … I [ended up dressing] more like a professor. So like it’s not where I’m from, but I watch a lot of movies and you end up just unconsciously taking stuff in.

When you end up watching a lot of movies that are period films or historical films and you just want to emulate their style.

Lee is a member of The Dartmouth Staff.

Sam Van Wetter ’16 (Above) Describe your fall style.

SVW: It’s gonna be hard to sum up, but I wear things that I like… I like thrift shopping in West [Lebanon] and buying the really big hunting clothes and things that some like 300-pound man probably wore last in the woods... I also like finding clothes like on the street and in my house, like literally on the street in a gutter. So I wear that kind of stuff, and I think it’s really important that we get rid of the term “flair” because it says that things are costumes and I don’t believe that it’s just something you wear and it’s never a joke. And people always ask me what are you dressed up for, and I’m like nothing I’m dressed up for myself. And I really like layering and being warm enough [because] that’s the way to have the best time when you’re wearing lots of clothes.

Favorite fall item.

SVW: It’s a gift from my friend Thora, and it’s a blanket with a hole cut out in the middle and you can wear it as a poncho, and you just like slap it on over everything. This is a circle scarf that I cut a hole in, and you wear it like a scarf or like a poncho. I really like my overalls right now…

I also really like my man bun — it’s been a journey. I’ve been shaving the sides since probably sophomore winter and that’s when I started growing out and I’ve been growing my rattail since sophomore spring.

Van Wetter is a member of The Dartmouth Staff.

Mac Zech ’18 (Above) Describe your fall style.

MZ: I have individual pieces of clothing that I think look dope, but then I actually don’t have any real sense of what looks good together, so … I just throw it together just thinking individually “Oh, that looks cool” and it ends being like “Oh, I just walked out of a thrift shop.” I have actually zero fashion sense — it’s like I dress myself in the dark from a clown’s wardrobe. I need to tone it down.

What does your style say about you?

MZ: I’d say it’s less like I’m trying to emit a certain style. I went to a private school so I guess I’m a product of that, and I’d wear this kind of stuff and actually this would be how I get away with not having to just wear khakis all the time.

And that maybe comes off different.

Go-to fall item.

MZ: Nothing big, just flannels.

MIRROR //5

Fall Style Watch FEature

B y Karen cao and lisa oh

Danielle Waite ’17 (Below right) and Edom Wessenyeleh ’17 (Below left) Describe your style.

DW: I like a comfortable kind of down to earth style — not trying — just like natural.

EW: I have two different modes at school — always in running leggings and sneakers to be comfortable in class and on the go, but my ideal fall style would be any sort of jeans or leggings, boots, a lot of earthy colors, greens, dark reds and browns.

What does your style show about you?

EW: Just like laid back and relaxed, things that are loose to throw on, nothing too rigid that I can’t do everyday movements in...color is big for me, greys, blues, greens.

Favorite item.

DW: One piece of jewelry — I could wear the bummiest and most comfortable clothing, but if I have the right watch or necklace it just makes the whole outfit.

Paul Kim ’17 (Below) Describe your style.

PK: Most of these are utilitarian, like these shoes are waterproof, rain jacket waterproof and the hat … works pretty ineffectively at keeping my head warm. I’m doing it because we’re sitting outside, but I mainly just do it because this is something I brought from home and it’s something my parents gave me to like three Christmas’s ago...

[My parents] thought [it] most represented my personality, but I don’t really understand that because it’s like a demonic cow and the horns are red, which is something I don’t understand.

Favorite item for fall season.

PK: As soon as it got cold enough, I put this [hat] on!

Brooke Goldner ’19 (Above) Describe your fall style.

BG: Today’s the first day of the term I haven’t been wearing athletic clothes. I have acting three days a week so I have to wear something comfortable, so I just wear variations of athletic stuff, but today I put some effort into that.

Style inspiration?

BG: I love big scarves that double as blankets so I build the outfit around that.

Go-to fall item.

BG: Black combat boots, I literally wear them every day.

RUONI WANG/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

6// MIRROR

Just SWUG-ing Around

Netflix and Chill Has Never Been So Cool.

Story

B y parker richards

Netflix. Moscato. Chocolate. Pajamas. Cozy, cozy bed. These are the words that come to mind when describing the typical SWUG. While Dartmouth’s vision of a SWUG — a “senior washed-up girl” — may not jive well with the “party hard, don’t care” vision of SWUGs at many other colleges, it might just be better in the long Hanover winters.

The title itself may be a bit of a misnomer, though, as SWUGness is by no means limited to senior women. The term has come to carry a variety of other meanings — senior washed-up guy, sophomore washed-up girl and essentially any student who is “over” the Greek scene.

“Being a SWUG seems to give me a cooler lens to see past the Dartmouth stereotypes,” Missy Cantave ’16 said.

Self-described SWUGs like Cantave have attempted to reappropriate the phrase and use it to describe an empowered, happy lifestyle of independence.

“Being a SWUG, I feel like a lot of times I forget what it means,” Jennifer Wray ’16 said.

“It literally means ‘senior washed-up girl,’ which sounds just horrible, but I think it’s started to become a positive thing.”

Much like any identity label, taking on the moniker of a SWUG can mean a variety of things to different people, not all of which are obvious.

Attending concerts, Collis After Dark events, BarHop and Programming Board functions is typical SWUG behavior, Penelope Williams ’16 said.

“We would rather stay in than go out some nights and rather hang out with our friends than go on a date or something, and that is definitely more than socially acceptable,” she said. “It’s the most socially acceptable I’ve been.”

When a self-described SWUG thinks of “going out,” the options aren’t limited to partying, Cantave said. Instead, it can include any way of experiencing life more broadly, any method of getting outside and taking enjoyment from activities, she said.

SWUG behavior is not a rejection of the Greek system or the conventional Dartmouth social scene, but rather an acceptance of doing what an individual wants, Wray said. She said that now that now she goes out simply to have a good time, without the variety of expectations that can sometimes come with that, like hooking up with someone or attending particular events.

Still, the common stereotype of the SWUG as a creature primarily devoted to staying in on weekend nights persists.

In this context, SWUGdom can become a rallying cry and a common identity.

“If you call it ‘staying in,’ it sounds lame, but if you call it ‘being SWUG,’ other people relate to it and form a community around it,” Williams said.

Sometimes, it’s just better to hang out in pajamas and relax, Wray said.

“I think a lot of people use it in a self-deprecating way, like, ‘Hey I’m going to stay in and watch Netflix and drink wine,’ but that sounds like a great time,” she said.

Still, many SWUGs are “a little bit jaded,” Cantave said. Once the novelty of the Greek scene and Dartmouth social life ends, it can be easy for people to begin to want to focus on themselves and stay in more.

“Freshman year, you tend to go out a lot more, you start to experience a lot more, and after this

ELIZA McDONOUGH /THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

Penelope Williams ‘16, a self-identifying SWUG, enjoys going to events like BarHop and Programming Board concerts with her friends. whole amazing year, you start to see all the little problems in your life and you start to become a SWUG,” she said.

Cantave and Williams both said they entered SWUGdom as sophomores, earlier than many of their friends.

Being a SWUG is mainly about wanting to spend time with your friends, Stephanie Roff ’16 said.

“It’s definitely not something that has to apply only to senior women,” Williams said. “It’s almost a fun way of being okay with not going out and partying.”

The occasional negative connotations of SWUGness has led Wray and some of her friends to create a new term, MEOW, to describe a similar phenomenon.

MEOWs — or mature, experienced, older women — embrace many of the values associated with being a SWUG, but the phrase carries none of the linguistic baggage, Wray said.

“It’s kind of a nice, almost liberating feeling, because a lot of underclassmen are really worried about what their friends think or what other people are doing,” she said.

The evolution from sociable, Webster Avenuehopping freshman to insular senior is different for many people, but usually involves a rejection of the opinions of others in favor of a positive self-image, Wray said.

“I definitely don’t care as much about what other people think about me,” she said. “I remember freshman year being very concerned with the person I wanted to be and the person I wanted to portray to other people, and now I’m much more secure in who I am, so I can be that person and call people out when they’re talking out loud in the Stacks when they shouldn’t be.”

Disregarding the opinions of others to pursue one’s own interests and ideas is perhaps the key catechism of SWUGness, Roff said.

To Cantave, being a SWUG is about stepping out of the mainstream to pursue passions and interests of her own.

“I wouldn’t say you’re jaded, but it’s the idea of this person who’s kind of done with dealing with the mainstream, basic, popular things to do on campus,” she said. “You are letting go of stereotypes on campus and mainstream ideas to focus on what is most important to you and how you can effect the world through your ideologies and principles.”

Yale University senior Chloe Drimal’s column in The Yale Daily News about Yale’s vision of SWUGdom — “They’re usually at penny shots promptly at 11 p.m. come Wednesday night,” “danc[ing] at the bar of [Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity] with their shirts off” and “biting into a can with her teeth to shotgun on a Sunday” — reflects a reality totally removed from the warmth of the literal Netflix-and-chill sessions of Dartmouth SWUGs. The reclamation of “SWUG” by the women of Dartmouth has not been entirely effective, and the term remains a pejorative to some.

The bastion of profanity that is Urban Dictionary has in its first definition of SWUG a vignette of a singularly lonely woman in denial.

“I texted two sophomore guys and got rejected by both, but I don’t even care because I have a bottle of wine and my $150 vibrator — I LOVE SWUG LIFE,” Urban Dictionary user swug4lyfe wrote, the highest-rated definition on the website.

At Dartmouth, some — especially men — use the term “SWUG” in a negative way, partly

reflecting its less-than-favorable origins, Roff said.

“The origins are kind of misogynistic,” she said. “It’s the misogynistic concept that senior women who are more chill and relaxed are ‘washed up.’”

It is not always acceptable to call someone else a SWUG, but it remains a label many embrace.

“Girls don’t mind calling themselves SWUGs but would be really upset if someone else called them a SWUG,” Wray said.

Of course, there’s a reason that so many senior women seem to flock to the label of SWUG, or at least the lifestyle that many associate with it. For while some may chide them for staying indoors rather than finding the hottest campus party, there are benefits that come with the lifestyle that emphasizes focusing on what you want for yourself.

“I’m not hungover all the time, I don’t miss class as much, I get to be around people who I actually want to be around, I don’t have to force myself to interact with people I don’t care about,” Roff said.

Going out for drinks in Hanover means you can actually be home at a reasonable hour, Williams said.

And aside from purely practical benefits, there is an emotional health that comes from being a SWUG, Cantave said.

“You’re going to come to a certain point in life — whether it’s in college or beyond college — when you’re going to realize that you should do things for yourself. And take advantage of that, because there’s no other opportunity or life you can live when you’re doing things for yourself, so embrace being SWUG,” she said. “There is nothing wrong with being a SWUG!”

MIRROR //7

JOE KIND, A GUY

COLUMN

By Sam Van Wetter

FREE SPEECH SAM and POLITICALLY CORRECT SAM are waiting in line for Hillary Clinton.

COLUMN By Joe Kind

Wow, did week nine hit me hard.

I would like to think I saw it coming. In anticipation of the two papers, presentation and exam on my plate this week, I had planned out my weekend well in advance to maximize my productivity. Things were going so smoothly, according to plan, until — of course — Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoon rolled around, and the signs of the hurricane began to form. As is always the case with week nine, these precautionar y steps were not enough. A last-minute phone inter view changed the fundamental dynamics of what was then a tenuous, but progressing group project, and I couldn’t recover. Shout-out to my group project members, though, for eventually overcoming the setbacks we faced. We were deep in the trenches, let me tell you, but we pulled through.

Week nine was honestly as painful as a big yellow school bus. It was just so, so grim. I have not had a full night’s sleep (read: six hours, let’s be honest) yet this week. I also have really let my facial hair hang its freak flag high. I’ve been telling friends that I am participating in No-Shave November because, you know, I am really cool. But no, I just have yet to deal with my face in what is now three weeks. I have more important things to be thinking about.

To be clear, I am a fan of the cultural phenomenon that is No-Shave November. I really am. Last year I grew out my moustache for the holiday’s up-and-coming spin-off project, Movember, and saw much success socially and emotionally (read: over 80 likes on a Facebook profile picture — a new record! — featuring the hideous beauty). There is something so liberating that comes from the break in the shaving routine, especially during that final push through assessments before reading period.

I grew out my beard for over six weeks during my freshman winter, and all I really ended up with was a face and neck that I couldn’t stop scratching. My facial hair grows unevenly along my face, so certain areas are more easily irritated than others.

For those of you unable to grow hair on your face, the experience is not especially thrilling. No one’s masculinity is at stake.

Some people grow forests while others can barely maintain a tree or two. It’s genetics.

It is what it is.

Maybe week nine really is a big yellow bus tr ying to speak to me. Regina George

SAM’S LITTLE LARKS

went on to attend her spring fling. I should be able to make it to my fraternity formal too, right?

The movie doesn’t end there, though.

We all know this. And that’s the beauty of week nine — for as awful as we all know it is, we are also ver y much cognizant that week nine isn’t the end.

For those of you wondering, I plan on shaving my beard as soon as I sur vive this week. For not only is it strangely refreshing (if not unsanitar y) to avoid the razor for so long, but finally submitting to the razor’s power is ceremonial in its own right. Look at me, I think to myself as I painstakingly graze my face, I am a real person again. I have made the commitment to return to a life of decency and discipline.

Week nine is painful. The parents suddenly sound even more eager over the phone, knowing how soon their baby bird flies back home to the nest — and for a casual six weeks or so. That break many on campus refer to as “Winterim” begins to shine more brightly in the back of the mind, brimming with both excitement and a hint of the anticipated boredom from such extreme (read: relative) social isolation. Introverted or extroverted, college students are arguably not meant to be home for so long. To be at home is great, and I would know from my back-to-back off-terms staying at home. I sur vived. For all I know I may end up at home for quite some time in the near future. ***ughhhh*** With the arrival and sur vival of week nine comes the realization that eight weeks have passed. Yes, that’s eight, as in the number of tentacles on an octopus.

Fall term resembles an octopus, in some ways. The weeks squiggle around and over and through one another, leaving a blob moving unpredictably through the water. That metaphor is not supposed to be grim. This term has been pleasant for me, albeit crazy. The fall always is for me.

From the sporadic weather patterns to the usual milestones (read: Homecoming, swim meets, Halloween, etc.), I generally like the fall quarters here.

Week nine seems to hit hard at college campuses across the countr y, as well.

What is it about this time of year? I think it must be coincidence, though I really don’t have any standing knowledge of relevant scientific findings.

Whatever it is, let’s all do our best to emerge safely from the depths.

FREE SPEECH SAM: Three hundred people here three hours before she’s supposed to start?

Liberals, man.

POLITICALLY CORRECT SAM: We’re all politically minded Upper Valleyans interested in seeing what’s up. Not everyone here will vote for her.

FREE SPEECH: It’s herd mentality, man. A bunch of yuppies come to worship the white feminist warlord.

PC: Did you see the Kasich event? Same crowd.

Chris Christie in Salt Hill? People were surprised there were enough republicans around to fill it up.

But that’s the thing — they weren’t necessarily republicans. We’re all just here for the Snap story and the promise of a potentially presidential selfie.

FREE SPEECH: Bull. People went to Salt Hill for Christie, the beer and the selfie. In that order.

We’re smart people and we care about our country. We need to make our voices heard, show up en masse and demand attention and action. And we need to see all sides, hear all parties. Which is why it’s such absolute codswallop that they said no to a Trump event.

PC: What?

FREE SPEECH: Didn’t you see that headline?

“Clinton ‘trumps’ Donald”? Smucked up.

Cockamamie. How dare the college so blatantly influence who can and can’t come to campus, especially along such obviously politicized lines.

PC: Well maybe they just didn’t want to offend anyone.

FREE SPEECH: It’s more offensive to dictate who we see speak! After saying explicitly that the Hop is for arts programing and no candidate will ever get Spaulding and perhaps Trump could find a different venue they let Hillary come! Lizard Lady Hillary! And they spout some malarkey about how it was a Tuck organization that brought her, like that’s something different than an undergraduate student group? That’s censorship. That’s the college interfering with what ought to be an open political climate on campus.

SPAULDING: Besides, I don’t discriminate.

FREE SPEECH: Exactly!

SPAULDING: All are welcome.

FREE SPEECH: Right.

DARTMOUTH HALL: And Dartmouth has a long history of hosting radicals and agitators.

Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke inside me in 1962.

PC: You’re not comparing Trump to MLK, are you?

DARTMOUTH HALL: No! RAUNER: But back when I was Webster Hall I had George Wallace speak! Twice! The segregationist!

The racist! Live at the Big Green!

DARMOUTH HALL: But that didn’t go over easy.

RAUNER: Of course not! Dartmouth students are as politically conscious now as they were then. He was catcalled. His speech was interrupted due to scuffles and boos. When he left, his car was surrounded and rocked to a chorus of “Wallace is a racist!” HPo broke it up! And it made headlines! It showed that you students don’t stand for that idiocy.

FREE SPEECH: But that’s the point — Dartmouth students can stand up for themselves.

We don’t need the administrators or facilitators to tell us what is or isn’t palatable.

PC: I don’t know, Sam. This isn’t the 1960s. I’d like to believe Dartmouth would never conscionably host someone as vitriolic as Wallace. And Trump may well be that! He has said some awful things about higher education, about minorities, about women. Maybe it’s best to refuse him a venue.

It means fewer feelings are hurt.

FREE SPEECH: That’s so like you to ask for that kind of treatment.

PC: What’s that supposed to mean?

FREE SPEECH: Listen to yourself! Just because someone might take something personally means it should never be said in the first place?

PC: Probably, yeah.

FREE SPEECH: We live in America! We have the right to say whatever we want.

PC: Free speech is something assholes invoke so they can defend themselves. They spit some awful cut down that they realize is hurtful and wrong but it’s not “technically illegal.” It’s a way of deflecting basic human goodness onto the Bill of Rights.

FREE SPEECH: And? PC: And??? Did you ever watch Bambi? If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.

Even Thumper knows that.

FREE SPEECH: But what if you think you’re being nice? What if you can’t imagine that anyone anywhere could possibly be offended by what you’re saying? You think you’re speaking truth or a truth or your truth and there’s someone somewhere who says you shouldn’t be allowed to say that because it hurts them. Then you’ve sent something out there thinking it’s fine and someone shoots it down, calls you a fascist or a racist or a bigot? And what if it’s not even the thing you say that’s fascist or racist or bigoted but how it lands? What if the problem is not what you say but how it connects with whomever hears it? Is that your fault? Ought that be disallowed, abolished, banned?

PC: I don’t know. But you should be careful.

FREE SPEECH: Of course you should be careful!

We all absolutely must be careful. But we also shouldn’t have to engage in some kind of constant thought experiment, trying to imagine all the multitude ways that everything we say could be interpreted by someone else, someone whose reality and response you can’t possibly know.

PC: But if someone tells you that it’s hurtful, don’t you have a responsibility to mitigate that hurt?

To ensure that it doesn’t happen again? That it doesn’t become systematic?

FREE SPEECH: Within reason.

PC: Well, what’s reason?

FREE SPEECH: I don’t know. It’s impossible to know. Listen — I hate the term “entitled,” I hate the word “coddle” and I don’t believe that people sharing what offends and hurts them and expecting some level of engagement and understanding is unreasonable. It’s reasonable. But we also must be aware that, despite the bubbles we live in, we inherently belong to a system. It’s a moldable system and one that we must work to make better, but it’s a system nonetheless.

PC: And our community is the first system we really get to affect. So we should be interested in making it as good as it can be.

ZAPPOS: That’s what we’re here for!

PC: Okay really quick did you know HPo fielded dozens of calls when you came through because people saw you leaving packages on their porch in the middle of the night and then thought they were bombs? You might have at least labeled the boxes.

ZAPPOS: We just love you so much!

PC: Right spirit, questionable move. Again, think about how it lands — on doorsteps, on hearts, on community. So let’s keep working on it — all of us. That’s the only way to be better.

8// MIRROR

Mirror Asks: Writers reflect on the year in terms of roses, buds and thorns.

STORY

B y THE DARTMOUTH MIRROR STAFF

Rose: Something positive about the past year.

“Last December, I set the goal of running my first marathon in April. My mom had run 13 marathons at the time, so we decided we should do her 14th and my first together. I had never run more than seven miles at that point, so I was unsure if I could really do it. Not only did I finish the race, but now I’m running my second one in December! This time in 2014 I never would have imagined doing this.” — Mar y Liza Hartong ’16 “I’m happy that the term is over! The 10 weeks really flew by in the blink of an eye, and even though it is a lot of fun, college is really hard. Like, really hard. I studied hard, played hard and made a lot of new friends. So now I’m just ready to go home and relax for the upcoming weeks. Dartmouth really became my home away from home, and I’m so grateful for this beautiful campus, the East Coast vibes and FoCo cookies.” — Karen Hsueh ’19 “My first term at Dartmouth has gone pretty well, and I’ve become friends with some really amazing people! FoCo was a big contributor to this rose because food always makes things better and eating meals always brings people closer together. I love FoCo!” — Leina McDermott ’19 “I was incredibly pleased with the results of the Canadian election. Both from a personal and psephological standpoint, it was fascinating to see the sudden swing back to Justin Trudeau’s Liberals from the Conser vatives. It will be fascinating to see how Justin ‘Because It’s 2015’ Trudeau does as prime minister.” — Parker Richards ’18 “I was lookin’ like hell tr yna make it to my 10A today and got paparazzi’d by a mysterious fashionable man. He said ‘I like your style,’ but offered no other explanation. Later I saw him in Collis and it turns out he’s a photographer for Popeye Magazine, a fashion magazine in Japan. They’re doing a stor y on ‘contemporar y Ivy League style’ so I think that it makes me an authority on the subject.” — Sam Van Wetter ’16 “Fall. A lot of my activities this term had me driving around New Hampshire, so I had so much fun getting to soak it all up and argue with my friends about which days were pre-peak, peak and post-peak foliage! It blows my mind ever y day how beautiful this place is.” — Lindsay Keare ’16 “My rose has been coming to Dartmouth and starting college. I’ve met so many nice people and been able to take such interesting classes. Overall, it has been a really great experience.” — Sarah Kovan ’19 “KAF sandwiches on point this year.” — Mark Anderson ’18 “I have seen myself become more assertive in a variety of ways. I have made a more conscious effort to surround myself with people and places that support and inspire me.

I have spent much of the year reflecting on what I want for myself and my future, and I think this year has been a big one for me in terms of personal growth.” — Joe Kind ’16 “This year has brought me so much. I found a passion this year, and I feel like I really figured out what I want to be doing. I also met some of the most incredible people ever this year, and I’m surrounded by fantastic people.” — Maggie Baird ’18

Bud: Something you are looking for ward to.

“I’m excited for all of my friends who are off campus to come back. If I’m having a bad day, I’ll cheer myself up by thinking about them being here in the winter and all of us going ice skating together or doing improv or eating pizza late at night. I’ve missed the energy they bring to my days, and I’m excited to have that back.”— Mar y Liza Hartong ’16 “I’m looking for ward to playing around in the snow and wearing a lot of warm layers. My first real winter away from L.A. will be the biggest struggle, but it’ll be a good experience! Snow looks really beautiful in pictures, and I can’t wait to see how it’ll be in real life. Sure, it’ll be tough, but I’m so, so excited for it to come.” — Karen Hsueh ’19 “I’m really excited to go home and see my family, friends and pets and have lots of good food on Thanksgiving. I can’t imagine being home for over a month, but I love the holidays and I can’t wait for all kinds of festive activities. But I will really miss Dartmouth and FoCo!!” — Leina McDermott ’19 “It will be interesting to see what economically troubled Spain does in its vote next month. The four-way race between the People’s Party, the Spanish Socialist Workers Party, Podemos and Citizens will be hotly contested and truly fascinating from an electoral perspective. The mathematics that drive the Spanish electoral system will also be in play and could decide the winner.” — Parker Richards ’18 “I get to go home to where the mountains are steep, the beer is cold and the snow is always falling. Skiing is a kind of dream state that I’m so lucky I get to daily depart to for the entirety of Winterim.” — Sam Van Wetter ’16 “Being on campus for my first winter since freshman year — I’m so excited to do lots of winter y things like skiing, ice skating and snowshoeing!” — Lindsay Keare ’16 “My bud is going home at the end of the term and seeing my family and catching up with all of my friends back home after we’ve completed our first few months of college. I’m also looking for ward to coming back to Dartmouth in Januar y. It’ll be nice to start my new set of classes with a full term under my belt.” — Sarah Kovan ’19 “Winter break!” — Mark Anderson ’18 “I am looking for ward to graduating, to be honest, and starting my own life outside of the Dartmouth bubble. At the same time, there is so much I want to do at Dartmouth before I leave, and I am eager to challenge myself more frequently to get outside of my comfort zone.” — Joe Kind ’16 “I’m excited to go abroad in the winter and explore more parts of the world that I haven’t been to yet. Even though I don’t know if I’ll be on campus for the summer, I’m really excited for whatever that will bring whether I’m jetting off somewhere in the world or staying here in Hanover.” — Maggie Baird ’18

Thorn: Something negative about the past year.

“My high school class lost one of its kindest and brightest women to a brain aneurism this fall. She was the kind of classmate who, no matter how well she knew you, would go out of her way to say hi or pass on some encouragement if you looked upset. Her nickname was Sunshine. It was a pleasure knowing her and a tragedy to lose her so young.”

— Mar y Liza Hartong ’16 “I didn’t end up joining as many activities as I would have liked or going more in-depth with the activities that I committed to, so I hope that’s something that can be changed for next term! Dartmouth is such an amazing place for interests to thrive, so I definitely want to give more of my time and efforts to old and new activities.”

— Karen Hsueh ’19 “I found out today that if you stay at FoCo from lunch all the way until dinner they will kick you out and you will not be able to get a free dinner. This is sad because I stayed at FoCo for five hours for no reason, but on the bright side I’m pretty sure the strategy does work for the breakfast/lunch transition.” — Leina McDermott ’19 “The British election result was disappointing. After ever ything Nick Clegg had done for the countr y, seeing the Liberal Democrats so thoroughly crushed was heartbreaking.

People like David Laws, the late, great Charles Kennedy, Michael Moore and Steve Webb should not have been so unceremoniously ejected from Parliament.” — Parker Richards ’18 “I will never again have a fall at Dartmouth.” — Sam Van Wetter ’16 “There really hasn’t been anything major, but if I had to say one thing, it’d be realizing this summer how expensive and hard it can be to visit friends in different cites, especially once we’re all in the real world.” — Lindsay Keare ’16 “While I’ve really enjoyed fall term, I’d have to say my thorn has been the initial adjustment to the academic rigor of Dartmouth. As I should have expected, the classes are much more difficult than high school classes.” — Sarah Kovan ’19 “Donald Trump’s political presidential campaign had been detracting from his work as a television actor recently.” — Mark Anderson ’18 “This past fall in particular, but really throughout this year, I have started to question how close I am exactly with my immediate family. I wish we were closer than we really are. I think for a long time I had a false perception of my relationship with my sister, in particular, and spending more time with her this past year has made me realize just how different we really are and how we are in such different places in our lives.”— Joe Kind ’16 “This year I felt the effects or becoming really close to someone and having to say goodbye, which was really difficult. I also haven’t really had a breather in between terms, especially summer and fall, so I’m ready for a break.”

— Maggie Baird ’18

Kathleen Rao /THE DARTMOUTH STAFF