The Dartmouth 07/08/14

VOL. CLXXI NO. 97

THUNDERSTORMS HIGH 82 LOW 64

TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

HANOVER, NEW HAMPSHIRE

For some, firing sparks boycott Wed. assault will

not alter campus security levels

By Alex ganninger

SPORTS

NCAA POLICY CHANGES TO TAKE EFFECT PAGE 8

OPINION

BEECHERT: SOPHOMORE BUMMER PAGE 4

ARTS

BIRD TO BRING UNIQUE SOUND TO HOP PAGE 7

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JULIETTA GERVASE/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

Some residents will not longer shop at Co-op establishments, including the pictured store in Hanover.

B y amelia rosch The Dartmouth Staff

Some Upper Valley residents are advocating for a protest and boycott of the Co-op Food Store following the firings of two employees at the store’s Lebanon establishment, demanding the release of details regarding the firings.

Daniel King, who worked in the wine department, and John Boutin, who worked in the cheese department, were fired on June 13. Since then, several community members have taken to email Listservs, expressing anger over the terminations. Some local residents said they believed that Boutin and King’s interest in unionizing Co-op

employees may have played a role in their firing.

Eight of 12 Co-op shoppers interviewed as they left the store on Monday afternoon said they had not heard about the potential protest or boycott. Three of the people who had heard about it said that they had no plans to join the boycott or any potential

Series to replace Jamboree B y roshan dutta The Dartmouth Staff

A series of events aimed at building community on campus and raising money for a teen life-skills center in White River Junction will replace Jamboree for the Junction, a philanthropic carnival organized by the Panhellenic Council. For the past two years, the Jamboree took place over sophomore family weekend.

Summer Panhell president Charlotte Kamai ’16 said the singular carnival was split into

multiple events to both improve philanthropic efforts and create a stronger campus community.

“We’re putting a lot of emphasis on changing the way the Greek system is viewed on campus,” Kamai said. “For me personally, this is a great opportunity to branch out outside of your house and remember that when a woman or a man decided to join the Greek community, he or she was joining not just one house but also an entire community.”

The Panhell executive board SEE PANHELL PAGE 5

Many students remain unaware of the midnight campus robbery that occurred last Wednesday, and Hanover Police chief Charlie Dennis said he has no plans to increase campus security, calling the robbery an isolated incident.

Nine students interviewed Monday night said that they had very little knowledge of the incident. Five of them had not heard of the attack at all.

On July 2, suspects Mark Ruppel, 26, and Troy Schwarz, 20, were arraigned in the Lebanon Circuit Court and face charges of robbery, second degree assault and falsifying physical evidence. These crimes are categorized as Class B felonies under New Hampshire Law and could incur jail sentences of up to seven years and a maximum fine of $2,000, Dennis said.

Ruppel and Schwarz are being held in Grafton County Jail on $20,000 bail and $10,000 bail, respectively. Both men have received no-trespass letters from the College.

Shortly after midnight on Wednesday, assailants attacked and robbed Hubert Clark III ’13 on the Green before fleeing into Hanover. Dartmouth Safety and Security responded to the assault, and Hanover Police later apprehended the suspects about .2 miles away from the Green.

Witnesses to the crime called Dartmouth Safety and Security, who were soon assisted by the Hanover Police.

Master police officer Jeffrey Ballard, learning that the

SEE CO-OP PAGE 2

SEE MUGGING PAGE 3

LIFE’S A BEACH

JULIETTA GERVASE / THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

Students relax at a Fourth of July volleyball game on Webster Avenue.

THE DARTMOUTH NEWS

PAGE 2

DAily debriefing REGIONAL RECAP According to the Vermont Department of Corrections, 224 inmates could be available for release if there were adequate halfway houses in the state, the Valley News reported.

About a quarter of the group was convicted of sex crimes, and more than 60 percent was convicted of a violent crime. The overall figure represents an increase from last fall, when 194 inmates were eligible for release but unable to find housing.

Representatives of transitional housing organizations said that the numbers show that not only is there a dearth of appropriate housing in the state, but also that the state may be sending too many citizens to prison.

If the New Hampshire Legislature agrees to a University of New Hampshire budget request in September, tuition at UNH campuses will remain frozen for another two years, the Associated Press reported. The tuition at the Durham campus has been steady at $13,670 since the Class of 2016 entered college in the fall of 2012. According to experts, tuition freezes help institutions be more attractive to incoming students. Still, this move may not truly freeze the cost of college should the state decide to cut grants and scholarships.

Senator Bernie Sanders (I - Vt.) said he hopes that a compromise addressing the failures of the Department of Veterans Affairs health care system will soon be reached, Vermont Public Radio reported. Sanders, who chairs the Senate’s Veterans Affairs committee, Sanders impacted the formation of the Senate version of the bill, which aims to provide faster health care for veterans. Sanders also sits on the conference committee for the bill, which is projected to cost roughly $2 billion. He said that he hoped action will come shortly after legislators returned from the holiday recess.

— Compiled by Chris Leech

TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

Firing of employees sparks debate FROM CO-OP PAGE 1

protest.

The Co-op’s communications department did not respond to multiple requests for comment by press time. Boutin declined to comment beyond confirming that he and King were fired June 13.

Nicole Cormen, who said she has been a member of the Co-op for over two decades, said that she and her husband will no longer shop in the Co-op’s wine or cheese departments until the management explains why Boutin and King were fired.

Cormen said that she will boycott these departments because she does not support the way the two men were fired, alleging that King and Boutin were not told the reasons of their termination.

“The public does not need to know the reasons for their firing, but the employees are entitled to know why they were let go,” Cormen said. “It’s just basic decency.”

Sam Dumpert, a member of the Co-op, said that if indeed Boutin and King were fired because they wished to unionize, the decision contradicts the Co-op’s values.

“Union-busting is something I feel strongly about,” she said. “As a shareholder, I want a say.”

Dumpert added that she plans to take part in a protest against the Co-op.

Don Kreis, who served on the Co-op’s board of directors from 2003 to 2013, said that he does

not plan on joining any protests against the Co-op. He plans to attend the next board meeting, scheduled for July 23, even though he said the board is not responsible for day-to-day management decisions like hiring and firing of store employees.

While Cormen said she does not approve of how the two men were fired, she noted the Co-op’s attempts to pay their employees a living wage, higher than those at

“Maybe it’s time for us to take a step back and make sure we are not losing what made the Co-op special.”

-Nicole cormen, longtime co-op member other local supermarkets. She said she will not boycott the establishment’s other departments, as she awaits a public response from the Co-op management.

“I felt like it was an overreaction to immediately boycott,” Cormen said. “It’s difficult because we want to know the reasons. There’s always at least two sides for each story.”

Cormen said she had always considered Boutin and King to be strong employees. She added that

employees at other local stores may not have the depth of knowledge that King and Boutin had.

“Dan King could be a sommelier in one of the finest restaurants,” she said. “We’re really going to miss him.”

Kreis said that, moving forward, keeping the members’ trust is important for the Co-op.

“It’s owned by all the people who shop there, and those people need to feel trusting to it,” he said.

Kreis and Cormen said that a possible long-term solution for the company would be to potentially become a “solidarity” co-op, where the board members would be made up of an equal mix of representatives of the members of the organization and representatives of the employees. Currently, the board of directors is elected by the Co-op members.

She also said that the Co-op should also make an effort to focus on its roots as a cooperative, not a corporate, supermarket by maintaining a close connection to the members.

“Maybe it’s time for us to take a step back and make sure that we are not losing what made the Co-op special,” she said.

Kreis said that the community needs to continue to maintain and strengthen the Co-op.

“The cooperative form of doing business is the secret success story of capitalism,” he said. “It’s one of the most important community assets that we have.”

LIVING LIFE ON THE LEDGES Corrections We welcome corrections. If you believe there is a factual error in a story, please email editor@thedartmouth.com.

“Strips brings 190 outdoors” (July 1, 2014): The eight-person directorate was split into five positions, not four. Two years ago, 12 students dropped from participating in Strips, not 40, as was originally reported.

The story misreported this year’s yield of participants; 60 students dropped out of the program after being placed on a Strip. The article has been changed online to reflect the misreported information.

JULIETTA GERVASE/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

Students take a break from swimming to pose by True’s Ledges during a weekend trip off campus.

TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

THE DARTMOUTH NEWS

PAGE 3

Students cite Safe Ride as a summer measure that could boost trust CVS on South Main Street, forcing an employee to open two safes and assailants were last seen near the then stealing prescription medicine.

Hanover Inn, detained the three Lawrence noted that in Wednessuspects near Town Hall, pending day’s assault, the police acted further evidence, Dennis said. quickly to apprehend the suspects.

Clark was loaded onto a stretcher “We don’t believe that there is at about 12:20 a.m. and taken to imminent danger or that there is Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical any pattern here,” she said.

Center by ambulance, where he Students noted that incidents received treatment for non-fatal of this type are a rare occurrence. injuries. He was released the same Matthew Barnes ’16 said he was day. not worried about future assaults, Dennis said Monday that mo- calling the attack an “isolated intives are still unclear, but that the cident.” incident does not seem to be part “There is not a huge risk of of a trend and being mugged was not preon campus,” he “We don’t believe meditated. said.

In the course that there is Other of their investi- imminent danger students said gation, Hanover they were surPolice charged or that there is any prised by the two of the three pattern here.” apparent ranmen who had domness of the participated crime. Lauren in the assault. - Diana lawrence, Martin ’16 said T h e y f o u n d director for media that this event Clark’s missing is distinguished items in the pos- relations from other acts session of one of of violence on the suspects. campus.

Dennis said that the amount “One thing that is particularly frightof money taken and other details ening is that 12 a.m. is not an unusual concerning the stolen property have time for students to walk home,” Martin not been made public at this time. said. “The fact that they attacked a guy Such crimes on campus are rare, rather a woman suggests that it wasn’t director for media relations Diana targeted and they could have done it Lawrence said, noting three report- to anyone. Obviously, bad things and ed robberies in the past 11 years. violence happen, but this is a different The last robbery that occurred on kind of action.” campus was in 2010, according to Bri Fontaine ’16 said that the the annual fire and safety report incident was worrying because of required by the Clery Act. the absence of Safe Ride services Hanover saw only one robbery during the summer. in 2013, Dennis said. In June 2013, During the summer, Safety and an armed man entered the Hanover Security no longer offers its Safe FROM MUGGING PAGE 1

KELSEY KITTELSEN/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

Hanover Police Chief Charlie Dennis said he does not plan to amp up campus security following the incident.

Ride program, through which students can request a ride at night, Safety and Security communications officer Jessica Gilbert said.

Students can instead call a campus hotline and have an officer walk them home through the Safety Escort service, she said. The Safe Ride program will resume this fall.

“It’s disconcerting and alarming that this happened in the middle of the Green, let alone Hanover,”

ZONIA MOORE/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

The assault occured on the Green just past midnight on Wednesday. Minutes later, the victim was taken to DHMC.

Fontaine said. “I always feel safe walking across the Green at night, but after the incident, I’m not sure how I feel about it anymore.”

Programs similar to Safe Ride exist at Harvard University, Brown University and Columbia University.

Brown’s program, called the onCall program, operates year-round, though the university enrolls fewer students in the summer than does Dartmouth.

Walker Sales ’16 said he thought committing the crime would not be worth the risk.

“It seems rather dumb to rob Dartmouth students because you

involve the Hanover Police, Safety and Security and the College,” Sales said. “Plus, Dartmouth students rarely carry cash because they only need their IDs on campus.”

Dennis advised students to walk in groups of two or three and to be aware of their surroundings.

Clark did not respond to a request for comment by press time.

Media relations officials at DHMC were not available for comment at press time.

Jessica Avitabile contributed reporting.

THE DARTMOUTH OPINION

PAGE 4

Staff Columnist Michael Beechert ’16

Staff columnist Emily albrecht ’16

Sophomore Bummer

Leave Your Laptops

The College fails to provide adequate resources during summer term.

At this point in my collegiate career, I have resigned myself to the fact that a major part of Dartmouth’s long-term fiscal strategy is to suck every possible cent from its students.

This realization has come to me as a result of a steady exposure to things like fines for checking in late, exorbitant transfer-credit fees, the Dartmouth Dining Services monopoly and an overall cost of attendance that inexplicably ranks among the highest in the Ivy League. I have also resigned myself to the fact that the institutional inertia caused by a swelling bureaucracy is unlikely to lead to any sort of meaningful policy change. That said, the absence or reduction of certain services during the summer term has disappointed me, especially when I check my tuition bill and notice that it has not — surprise!­— been lowered accordingly.

The dearth of classes offered during the summer term is the College’s most egregious reduction in services; students are charged the same amount in tuition as a fall, winter or spring term and have approximately a third of the number of course offerings from which to choose. As Vivien Rendleman pointed out in her July 1 column “Struggling With Selection,” a certain reduction is allowable given that there are fewer students on campus. However, she notes that summer term courses are more likely to be larger classes than their counterparts during the rest of the year, leading to an academic experience that — for the same price as a “normal” term — potentially suffers with respect to both flexibility and quality.

As I often must explain to surprised friends or family members, New Hampshire in the summer can be unpleasantly warm.

“Well, at least you have air conditioning indoors!” they invariably reply. This assumption, I then point out with a smile, is incorrect. I’m asked for clarification: “You mean the dorms don’t have air-conditioning systems?” My smile grows larger. Certain dormitories, I explain, actually do have air-conditioning systems already installed.

Apparently, however, the College believes that the cost of operating these existing systems in the summer is too onerous to justify. This is beyond me. It’s 90 degrees out, there’s an endowment of more than $3 billion lying around somewhere and we’re skimping on the electric bill? Students who offer to purchase their own window units learn that doing so is also not allowed, barring medical need — and possible heatstroke doesn’t count.

During the “normal” year, the Safe Ride service can ease fears about walking alone late at night. The program’s existence is a useful expenditure that addresses a legitimate need; the College should do whatever it can to promote student safety. Yet, Safe Ride does not operate during the summer.

Why? Even if students can’t make any latenight jaunts to the Hop for food (because, of course, it’s closed!), does the threat of being victimized by a crime somehow disappear from June to August? As Hubert Clark III ’13 found out the hard way, it does not.

He was, as has been publicized in recent days, subjected to an assault and robbery directly on the Green at around midnight last Wednesday. While the absence of Safe Ride certainly can’t be blamed for this crime, its occurrence demonstrates that such an absence is unacceptable.

In addition to resisting heat and violent crime, students in residence during the summer should also be able to avoid illness. At least one would think so — our own campus clinic, Dick’s House closes its all-night and weekend infirmary from June to September.

While the reduction in staff at Dick’s House is understandable during regular hours, failing to provide even basic on-site care during weekends or to observe seriously ill students overnight is inexcusable. Students in need of urgent attention are instead taken to DHMC, where they can incur additional medical expenses or go without treatment or, I suppose, try to wait for the College to resume full functionality in September.

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TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

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Professors should continue to ban laptops in the classroom.

At 10:30 on a Monday morning, you struggle to get through your astronomy lecture, and you decide to check Facebook for just one minute to regain some semblance of sanity. Before you know it, the professor reminds the class of an assignment due Wednesday and tells students to enjoy the rest of their day. The “Notes” Word document open on your computer remains essentially untouched.

I have not taken astronomy, but I spent a good number of my other classes doing exactly what I just described. I learn enough to make an acceptable grade, but months later I retain none of the material. On the other hand, I still remember themes and topics from my classes with no-laptop policies. Although I’ve personally learned that a laptop ban increases classroom attention and material retention, as well as raises the caliber of class discussions, I still grimace just the same when I read a new syllabus and see that the professor has banned laptops in class.

Despite my delight whenever I see that I can use my laptop in class, I understand how they are harmful to the learning environment. As such, I believe that professors should be able to ban them in classrooms — in fact, I encourage them to do so.

We are all adults here at Dartmouth, and we should be treated as such. Part of that is doing away with perceived paternalistic policies that micromanage what we can and cannot do. The laptop policy is not one of these policies. Being treated like adults does not mean the freedom to do anything we want while in professional settings ­— which for students, classrooms are.

Wasting away one’s 11 on Tumblr is therefore inappropriate. It would be just as inappropriate for a professor to whip out his or her iPhone and check Facebook during their lecture, and I hope I never enter Parkhurst to see an administrator buying new shoes on Zappos. These rules are not in place to unnecessarily control us; they serve to improve work efficiency and efficacy, which benefits everyone.

What you put up on your screen affects more than yourself. If you check ESPN or catch up on some online shopping, you distract the stu-

dents in the rows behind you. Moreover, when you are distracted, you prevent yourself from effectively participating in class discussions. In my freshman seminar, weeks passed with all of us typing aimlessly on our computers and staying silent when my professor asked questions to the group. Finally, she had all of us stand up as she walked by and checked our computers. At most, two students were actually typing up notes.

She banned computers from then on, and class discussions improved drastically.

Ultimately, we are at Dartmouth to learn.

Organizing your club’s next meeting via blitz, flitzing your 10A crush, and creating Facebook events for your social house can all wait until class is over. When extracurriculars and social commitments bleed into academic settings, they degrade the quality and quantity of learning.

The professors should be able to determine the nature of each class, which means they must have the ability and agency to guide what happens in their classroom. The ostensible reason they are professors is that they are qualified to teach in the most effective way they know how, and as students, we should trust their judgment.

If my professor decides that laptop use inhibits how he teaches his class, then I will defer to his professional judgment. At the very least, all small discussion based classes and even small lecture classes should have no-laptop policies (students with learning disabilities exempted, of course).

Laptop use is less harmful in large lecture classes in which little discussion happens. But even then, laptops are a privilege, not a necessity. And privileges are often abused.

The benefits to using laptops in the classroom, which mostly distill to quickly typing legible notes and looking up supplementary information, are almost always fewer than the costs. Laptops distract you, your classmates and your professor.

When professors ban them, they are not treating us like children; rather, they are recognizing a barrier to effective learning and taking measures to break down that barrier. I know I do not have the self-control to stay off blitz for an entire class, and from what I can tell looking around my various classes, not many of us do.

THE DARTMOUTH NEWS

TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

PAGE 5

Panhell to focus on smaller events, replacing summer Jamboree FROM PANHELL PAGE 5

worked closely with Greek Letter Organizations and Societies to coordinate the move away from Jamboree, Kamai said, adding that GLOS supported the change.

The first event of the series — titled “Proud to be a Greek Woman?” — will be an open panel that focuses on both the current state of the Greek community and the female experience within the Greek system.

Summer Panhell programming chair Veri Di Suvero ’16 said the event will allow women to discuss their personal experiences.

“We’re not holding this panel to have a roast of the Greek system or just talk about how great everything is, but it is a way of providing thoughtful dialogue and commentary to see what we can do to improve it and see where we’re at right now,” Di Suvero said. “We’ve had Greek events before — most recently we’ve had the Greek debate — but I don’t think people have had a chance to say how they feel about the issue personally.”

Members of sororities and coed houses as well as unaffiliated women will speak at the event, summer Panhell vice president of public relations Simone D’Luna ’16 said.

D’Luna called attention to the question mark at the end of the event’s title.

“We want to honestly talk about whether being affiliated is a posi-

“We’re not holding this panel to have a roast of the Greek system or just talk about how great everything is, but it is a way of providing thoughtful dialogue and commentary to see what we can do to improve it and see where we’re at right now.”

- Veri di suvero ’16, summer panhell programming chair

tive experience and how the Greek community, for better or worse, influences its members,” she said.

The role of women within the Greek system has been a focus of Panhell’s programming for several years now, said Karen Afre ’12,

who served on the Panhell executive board from spring 2011 to fall 2012.

“The focus was always about building a bond between the different sororities on campus,” she said. “We always wanted to have that one single event where we could bring everyone together for a common cause.”

A series of fundraising events, the proceeds of which will go directly to the Junction Teen Life Skills Center, will follow the panel throughout the summer.

Panhell decided to replace Jamboree with several smaller events because Jamboree had not been profitable in the past, Di Suvero said.

She said Jamboree was difficult to organize and that its timing meant it would be difficult for some people to attend.

D’Luna said that spreading out the events will also help foster a sense of community on campus.

“The whole series is an effort to focus on a bunch of campus communities,” D’Luna said. “I think it will be cool to have this spread of dates instead of just one marquee event. I think we’re also hoping for more people to participate, and hoping that women across campus will go to multiple events.”

The charity events will take place on four separate dates to maximize attendance and fun-

ADITI KIRTIKAR/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

Dance ensembles performed at the jamboree last summer, which took place over sophomore family weekend.

draising potential, Di Suvero said.

This shift from a single, large event to several smaller ones is a move away from what Panhell has

“For me personally, this is a great opportunity to branch out outside of your house and remember that when a woman or man decided to join the Greek community, he or she was joining not just one house but also an entire community.”

- CHARLOTTE KAMAI, SUMMER PANHELL PRESIDENT

traditionally done in the past, Afre said.

“Every term we would have something big,” she said. “In the spring it was always a giant tournament of flag football. I

think the lack of something big in the summer term was where the motivation for Jamboree came from.”

Yet Afre said she understands the motivation behind spreading the events out over the term.

“The smaller events will help to decrease how much we’re spending on the event, while giving more people more chances to make it out to something,” Afre said.

The first charity event, titled “Proud to be a Sister,” will be a movie night where food will be sold in order to raise money, Di Suvero said.

Next, “Proud to be Green,” will take place during sophomore family weekend. Run in partnership with the Sustainability Office and a number of other student groups, the event will feature performance groups, a crafts fair, food, a raffle and penny wars — where groups compete to raise money by donating change.

The third event, to take place over Fieldstock, will be titled “Proud to be a ’16.” Student Assembly and Panhell will raise money together, Di Suvero said.

A casual barbecue will cap off the series, during which shirts and food will be sold, Di Suvero said.

This event is exclusively for Panhell members.

D’Luna is a former member of the Dartmouth staff.

ADITI KIRTIKAR/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

At last summer’s event, students held contests at sorority-sponsored booths.

PAGE 6

DARTMOUTH EVENTS TOMORROW 9:00 a.m.

Osher at Dartmouth 2014 summer lecture series, “From Egypt to Iran: Arc of Thundering Change,” Spaulding Auditorium.

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“Visit Dartmouth” tour, McNutt Hall

All day Graduating students choose books and other items at the “Student Library Service Bookplate Program,” Berry Library Main Street

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THE DARTMOUTH ARTS

PAGE 7

‘Obvious Child’ shocks, amuses Heralded songwriter Bird to perform at Hop B y andrew kingsley

looked forward to hearing Bird on campus. Several noted that they had The Dartmouth Staff already purchased tickets.

Bringing his signature arrange- Ziyuan Liu ’16, who said he was ment of curiously synthesized plucks, familiar with the artist, noted that loops and whistles to Hanover, An- Bird’s music fails to be categorized drew Bird and the Hands of Glory into a single genre or appeal to a will perform at Spaulding Auditorium single audience. on Thursday. Joined by Jimbo Mathus “For someone who is not familiar and the Tri-State Coalition, the two with his work, I would describe him artists will appear within the Hopkins as a combination of alternative softCenter’s summer music series. rock, mainstream folk and a dash of On the heels of a performance modern psychedelia,” he said. at the Bonnaroo Tianmusic festival tian Zhang ’16, i n M a n ch e s - “His songs bring a who has also ter, Tennessee, sound that is both old heard Bird’s muBird will bring sic before, said a festival-like and new.” that the artist atmosphere to can tap into a Hanover and wide spectrum - rebecca bailey, mesh well with of human emoa series that at- hopkins center tion and noted tempts to draw publicity coordinator his “diverse colseasonal music to lection of songs.” the Upper Valley,

“I feel Hopkins Center publicity coordina- like I’m taken through an adventure tor Rebecca Bailey said. in every song because they all have “His songs bring a sound that is different hues, which is pretty impresboth old and new,” she said. “There’s sive and speaks to his ability to hit a something that will capture your ear spectrum of human emotion,” Zhang about his music. He’s bringing a great said. “Though he’s been around for a band, and they have a wonderful while, his music today is still as full of sound. It’s a sound that is live — depth and sophistication as his older everyone is singing around a single albums.” mike, not processed.”

Critics have struggled to define The summer’s first musical per- Bird’s sound. In their reviews, Pitchformance featured the sounds of fork has called his music “not-quiteRicardo Lemvo and his band Makina definable,”and Rolling Stone has Loca, who played in Spaulding in late praised him as “beguiling” while hailJune. Bird, who ing his emotional will perform on “For someone who is urgency. Bird’s the Central Park last album, titled SummerStage not familiar with his “Things Are Reon July 8 before work, I would ally Great Here, heading to HaSort Of…,” was describe him as a nover, declined released in June to comment on combination and combines his upcoming of alternative Bird’s witty lyriperformance, as cism with his sigsoft-rock, did his agent. nature library of Combining mainstream folk and a curious musical musical sounds sounds. dash of modern with skilled ex Jimbo perience as a psychedelia.”

Mathus and the singer-songwritTri-State Coalier, Bird’s perfortion will open for mance will be a - Ziyuan liu ’16 Bird on Thursrare opportunity day. A child of for students to musicians, Mathus began his musical see a one-of-a-kind artist in concert, career as the mandolin player in a Bailey said, noting that Bird has family band at the age of 8. He blends played the violin since the age of four. rock and roll, blues and rhythm and “He’s put in so many hours as blues to create a distinctly southern a performer for all sorts and sizes sound that has been praised by critics of audiences,” she said. “He totally from Seattle to Arkansas. Mathus’s knows how to get into a wonderful newest album, “Dark Night of the groove with whoever he’s on stage Soul,” was released in February. with.”

Bird and Mathus will perform to Ten of 15 students interviewed gether in Bridgeport, Connecticut on said that they were familiar with July 11 and Lowell, Massachusetts on Bird’s music, and just under half of July 12 following their joint Spaulding the students interviewed said they show.

B y laura sim

How do you make an abortion funny? In this age of political correctness and verbal thin ice, director Gillian Robespierre’s 2014 crass, honest romantic comedy, “Obvious Child,” is a breath of fresh air that answers this question.

The film opens as 28-year-old stand-up comedian Donna Stern (Jenny Slate) tells a vagina joke, and then identifies herself as the byproduct of a menorah and Natalie Imbruglia. A minute into her set, she tells her audience, “You probably think I’m a horrible person.” And many audience members do. Stern’s humor centers around vaginas, farts and Judaism; this isn’t “Dr. Strangelove” (1964) or “Manhattan” (1979), but a trial by fire.

To defend this vulgarity, let me step back a bit. Comedy, in essence, is a release. It’s our reaction to the unveiling of a gap between our perceptions and reality. According to the late eminent comic theorist and French philosopher Henri Bergson, any incident that calls our attention to the physical part of a person, when the moral part should be more important, is comic.

This is the ideological base for Stern’s humor. She gets her pregnancy test results in a bathroom while her friend is pooping, gets an abortion on Valentine’s Day and refers to sex without a condom as “Russian roulette with your vagina.”

By saying what no one will, she takes the taboo and makes it digestible.

Leave your political correctness and sensitivity at the door, or prepare to see them attacked.

Stern is a less garrulous Groucho Marx, complete with feminist sensibilities. She uses snarky retorts like weapons. They are both anarchistic comedians, brutalizing others using farce and wit. This behavior alienates Stern’s first boyfriend, who breaks up with her early on in a graffitied, unisex bathroom to the din of flushing toilets and urine streams. Her “Unimpressive, NonImperialist, Bargain Book Store” will close in a month, and her standup is floundering in self-pity and nihilistic cynicism. Thus begins Stern’s emotional tailspin.

Enter Max (Jake Lacy), an average Joe who keeps up with Stern’s humor and rescues her after a bitter, cringe-worthy standup routine.

They flirt, they get drunk, they dance a bit and then they have a one-night stand. What happens next is a funnier, more sincere version of Judd Apatow’s “Knocked Up” (2007).

Slate, a former Saturday Night Live cast member, was known for her doorbell pitchwoman character Tina Tina Cheneuse and impressions of Lady Gaga and Hoda Kotb.

The real-life comedian has mastered

delivery. Her jokes are articulated so naturally, with an authenticity reminiscent of mumblecore or French new wave dialogue, that I wondered if she were merely improvising and a camera happened to be recording.

“The real-life comedian has mastered delivery. Her jokes are articulated so naturally, with an authenticity reminiscent of mumblecore or French new wave dialogue, that I wondered if she were merely improvising and a camera happened to be recording.”

The humanity Slate instills in Stern, in both comic and solemn scenes, is enviable. Slate’s performance and character conjures Ellen Page’s “Juno” (2007) and lifts the film above the oftentimes histrionic

performances of “Knocked Up.” But between the rib tickling and knee slapping that lies at its heart, the film focuses on a woman unraveling at the confusing hands of abortion. Bergson once said that laughter has no greater enemy than emotion. The comic demands a momentary anesthesia of the heart. With her film, Robespierre belies Bergson. Again, laughter is a release. The sympathy we build for Stern emotionally connects actor and audience, which Stern then breaks with a smelly synagogue joke.

Laughter fills that new emotional void.

The flinty man behind me in the theater chuckled nervously during several scenes while muttering “oh my God, oh my God” at most of the jokes. Bergson believed we live lives of comatose stasis and myopia, from which comedy awakens us. “Obvious Child” was likely Robespierre’s attempt to shock, unsettle, and hopefully awaken the man behind me and others to their conservatism.

This film may unnerve some and delight others, but it will certainly move all.

Rating: 9.0/10 “Obvious Child” is playing daily at the Nugget at 4:20 p.m., 6:50 p.m. and 9:15 p.m.

HOPkINS CENTER FOR THE ARTS Dartmouth students

$10

THU | JUL 10 | 8 PM | SPAULDING AUDITORIUM

ANDREW BIRD AND THE HANDS OF GLORY with JIMBO MATHUS & THE TRI-STATE COALITION opener The beguiling indie singer/songwriter/violinist goes back to rootsy basics with his old-timey acoustic string band Hands of Glory. Expect a joyous evening of sinuous fiddling, “high lonesome” vocals, old-soul original songs and Bird’s virtuosic whistling. Opening for Bird is ex-Squirrel Nut Zippers bandmate Jimbo Mathus and his Tri-State Coalition, a born-in-the-bone Southern roots music ensemble.

hop.dartmouth.edu | 603.646.2422 Dartmouth College | Hanover, NH

THE DARTMOUTH SPORTS

PAGE 8

TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

SPORTS

WEEKLY LINEUP

No athletic events scheduled

New NCAA policies to take effect Aug. 1

By josh Koenig and Laura weiss The Dartmouth Staff

As nationwide institutions adapt to meet new NCAA policies on the provision of food to student-athletes, certifications for strength and conditioning coaches and penalties for street drug use, Dartmouth does not anticipate having to make major changes to ensure compliance. Approved by the NCAA’s legislative council in April, the new policies will take effect Aug. 1.

Among the changes, the NCAA will now allow Division I athletes to receive unlimited free meals and snacks through their athletic involvement, will require strength and conditioning coaches to hold accreditations from nationally recognized organizations and will reduce the penalty for a first positive test for street drugs during championships from a full season to half a season. Street drugs, as defined by the NCAA, are non-performance enhancing substances.

The NCAA will ask schools to have a staff member certified in CPR to be present at all athletic activities and will mandate at least three hours of rest between practices for football players during preseason.

For Dartmouth to comply, assistant athletic director for compliance Jake Munick said, more staff members would need to gain certifications to ensure that they meet the requirements for strength and conditioning coaches. The NCAA has delayed the accreditation requirement by one year to help coaches gain certifications without risking a loss of employment.

Paige Caridi ’16, who plays volleyball, said she thinks the additional certification requirement will be a positive measure, especially since certain injuries are particular to each sport.

Lifting food restrictions, women’s hockey coach Mark Hudak said, will affect athletic performance.

He said that it is crucial to eat within 30 minutes of exercising and Dartmouth athletes need about four meals per day, so being able to provide food for athletes would help College athletic programs. Athletes are likely spending more money on food themselves, and there might be an opportunity to help those students, Hudak said.

Women’s soccer coach Ron Rainey said any necessary adjustments resulting from changed NCAA

requirements would be resolved by the Dartmouth athletics staff.

The lift on food restrictions could provide flexibility for players when on the road or in the case of delayed or overtime games, Rainey said.

“It makes sense to allow them to recover better and get the nutrition they need,” Rainey said.

Football coach Buddy Teevens ’79 said that while the ability to offer unlimited meals and snacks to studentathletes would be “wonderful,” Dartmouth does not provide meals because the College has a non-scholarship athletic program, which he does not foresee as likely to change.

Teevens said the athletic department already requires staff and coaches to be CPR certified, and the football team has an athletic trainer at all practices, as well as a level of national certification for strength and conditioning coaches.

The policies on penalties for street drug usage and preseason football, he said, would not pose compliance challenges to the College.

“It’s not earth shattering for Dartmouth, but something we’ll comply with,” he said.

Caridi said that while it makes sense to encourage rehabilitation, she does not agree with the reduced penalty.

“If a student athlete is competing in a national championship and on that high a level, they should definitely be held accountable for their actions,” she said. “If you’re competing in a national championship, you should be able to control your drug use.”

Allowing athletes who have failed a drug test to play after half a season does not reflect positively on the athlete or program they play in, she said.

Olivia Samson ’16, a swimmer, said that while it could be good for an athlete to not be out an entire season for a first positive on a street drug test, the change might lead some athletes to think using these drugs could bring fewer consequences if caught.

“I just would hope that it doesn’t make more people think that it’s okay because it’s less of a penalty,” she said.

The Dartmouth compliance office is not currently fully staffed. Munick said the office is in the process of interviewing for a new compliance official and hopes to have two full-time compliance officials by September.

Macy Ferguson contributed reporting.

RIDING THE PINE No one told us sophomore summer would be this hard. We didn’t know “Exploration of the Solar System” would meet four days a week and force us to be on call for solar observing sessions at every hour of the day and night.

We didn’t know that the Hop was going to be closed, preventing us from adhering to our self-imposed diet of breakfast bombs at every meal. We didn’t know that one leap into the brilliant blue water of the copper mines would leave us with “copper brain” for the rest of the term, barely able to distinguish up from down. We didn’t know it could affect our ability to churn out a hilarious and insightful column in mere hours to regain the affections of our ex (sports editor) Jasmine Sachar ’16.

Even though we’re already worn down by the trials and tribulations of 14X, Hank and Fish swore a sacred oath to cover the most relevant news in sports once a week, and we are nothing if not men of our words. All of Dartmouth had its eyes on one sports event this weekend, the annual dodgeball bloodbath affectionately referred to as Pelt-A-Delta. Though Hank and Fish were initially misled into thinking that we would be able to throw things at hapless Phi Delts without fear of retribution, we quickly learned that Pelt-A-Delta was a competitive dodgeball tournament and the Phi Delts could strike back. The tour nament passed in a blur of fear and loathing, but a few moments stuck out to us as important, capturing the ethos of Pelt-A-Delta as a whole.

This week, Riding the Pine brings you our firsthand account from inside the tourney. We dropped our press passes and picked up our balls in a desperate fight for our lives.

WITH JOE CLYNE AND HENRY ARNDT

As soon as we saw Team Abby, fearlessly led by Edward Wagner ’16, jog onto the field for the opening game, we knew the tournament was going to be absolutely electric. After a resounding win, the three-headed DJ monster of Jordan Kastrinsky ’16, Jackson Dean ’16 and, of course, Nick Duva ’16, was forced to briefly yield the microphone to Dartmouth’s premier (and only) summer a cappella group, the Summerphonics. The group provided a much-needed respite from the frenetic EDM playlists, designed to inspire bloodlust in even the most docile dodgeball team. After the performance ended, the pomp and circumstance faded away as we were all reminded why we had made the pilgrimage to Gold Coast Lawn, the Mecca of dodgeball. It was time to play.

In an homage to a past that was perhaps better left forgotten, Riding the Pine reassembled its freshman intramural team. It was a team that only managed one win across three seasons of athletic competition. Our aptly named Sports Team faced an arduous journey through the bracket, by playing the Honey Badgers of Zete in the first round. If we could pull off that win, the Nudle of Sigma Nu stood waiting with the tournament’s only first round bye, a bye they richly deserved.

The game against Zete passed by in the blink of an eye. Balls flew before our faces as the sparse crowd on field two made its preference known by furiously screaming in support of the Honey Badgers.

The referees lost control of a game that rapidly descended into chaos, which is fortunately an environment where Sports Team is all too comfortable.

Hank, hair blowing gently in

the breeze behind him, seemed unstoppable, snagging balls out of mid air and vitriolically accusing his opponents of “cheating” or “being already out.” He went down in a blaze of glory, and it was only Fish who stood on the field for the post-game celebration. As the dust began to settle, Hank and Fish turned their attention to their next opponents. The Nudle stood Herculean on the sidelines in their matching American flag Chubbie shorts, solidly unimpressed with our all-too-apparent exertion and our comparably abysmal sense of fashion.

Our glorious Sports Team never had a chance. The Nudle mowed us down easily, as if they were trimming the exquisite foliage on the front yard of their fraternity.

The gutsy performance of their star players, identical twins no less, forced us to invoke Winklevoss imagery in our second consecutive column. One twin nicked Hank on the finger as he cowered in the background of the game, probably out of bounds. The other slammed Fish with a dodgeball in the one area that he could least afford to be hit. In a cruel twist of journalistic fate, Hank and Fish were forced to watch from the sidelines as their lone remaining teammate, Ben Geithner ’16, fell to the indomitable will of the Winklevii.

We failed to win the dodgeball tournament. We failed to win the hearts of the fans. We failed to get the DJ trio to play the “Cupid Shuffle.” Despite what by all accounts was a humiliating afternoon, Hank and Fish walked away from the dodgeball wasteland with a wry smiles twisted across their faces. Chuckling to themselves, they knew they had pocketed yet another piece of precious click bait.