Food and Drink

Cat’s Pee or Tennis Ball: What’s Your Descriptive Poison?

by John Sherwin

Iguess most of us have taken a likely looking wine bottle from a retailer’s shelf and spun to the back label for further and better particulars, much as we might reach for the Gideon’s Bible in a miserable motel in Milton Keynes in the hope of an informative and entertaining yarn. There’s a lot of sex, drugs and violence in the latter if you happen on an appropriate page, and there are a lot of useful back labels. But there’s much yadda-yadda with Gideon, who needed a good editor, and there are many back labels which are as vacuous as black holes. on the end.” A white Rioja. “Dark fruit mingling with notes of liquorice powder and with laurel leaf and with earthy and salty notes. Soft, gentle raspberry, blueberry and dark cherry palate, supple and elegant.” A Tuscany red. These are from the great Jancis Robinson, but below are some gems from the (late) great Michael Broadbent: “Bright, pale yellow; a lovely nose, fragrant, with a touch of youthful pineapple and a whiff of vanilla; certainly sweeter than dry; rich, complete, with a good finish.” An Italian (Trentino) Chardonnay. “Thoroughly attractive, fragrant.” A red Bordeaux. “Straw gold; mild, well mannered but slightly short.” A (dry) white Bordeaux. Or an old friend of mine come to think of it. Is it just me, or isn’t less really more? Of course you can still nitpick and take the piss out of even the pared down descriptions, but they seem to hit the nail more squarely on the head, i.e. I have a pretty clear idea of the wine and what to expect from it.

It’s no coincidence that the last few examples are expanded versions of tasting notes. If tasting notes were pieces of a jigsaw, then a wine description would be the completed puzzle. But what are tasting notes, and why the heck should you be bothered? Tasting notes are notes you take while you taste. Da-dah! They are a record of your subjective opinions on a) the colour of the wine, b) its aroma, c) its taste, d) what you might eat with it. You can expand any one or all of these aspects, but overall that’s pretty much the deal. This is an aide-memoire for you, so you might like to include where and when you tasted the wine, and with whom (these are important considerations). I repeat, tasting notes are for you so you can be as idiosyncratic in your language as you like, so long as, in a year’s time when you take the notes out you can say to yourself “oh yeah, I remember that wine; and it was a good bash”. Turning these notes into something unembarrassing you can share with friends (a wine description) takes time and effort, but that’s part of the tasting experience too, and if you can’t take time and effort to enlighten your friends then you’re a cad and a bounder, sir! In the spirit of enlightenment, what of the title to this piece? ‘Cat’s pee’, or more precisely ‘cat’s pee on a gooseberry bush’, is a classic way of describing sauvignon blanc. In the documentary SOMM (about sommeliers) someone describes a wine’s smell as ‘like a freshly opened can of tennis balls’. Mock away, but then take a second. Isn’t there a point there? At the very least, pretty much anything is better, God preserve us, than ‘nice’.

Bad wine descriptions can be out and out jokey or toecurlingly pretentious. Of the former, few of a certain age will forget the Monty Python description of Perth Pink as “not a wine for drinking, but a wine for laying down and avoiding”, or of Chateau Chunder as “a fine wine which really opens the sluices at both ends”. These are well and good as Christmas cracker fillers, but try the following as examples of ‘serious’ descriptions. (They’re real; I’d be too embarrassed to make them up.) My comments in square brackets. “Might be called liquefied Viagra [might be; best not]. An incredibly sexy nose of smoke [oak barrel], black fruits [wine variety], cappuccino [oak barrel], and toasty wood [oak barrel] is followed by an expansive [difficult to keep in mouth], terrifically concentrated [oops, perhaps not so difficult] wine with a sumptuous texture, no hard edges [phew, cancel dental appointment], beautifully integrated acidity and tannin [the only useful comment] and a long 35 second finish [Viagra Lite?].” A California Merlot, if you were wondering.

“Verbena [lemony], aloe vera [say what?], melisse [lemony], lemon balm [ahem, lemony], and finally the usual [usual?] apple; the palate as usual [all very usual] is shady and cool [my palate is shady as it’s in my mouth, but being there, is at body temperature], though more overtly mineral than usual [an unexpected brick in the face], but the finish crescendos into a salty tide [steady on, laddie] that clings and doesn’t quit [a girlfriend who doesn’t realise you’re dumber than she is].” A German Riesling. Why do we describe things? To get a message across, to communicate. “Get me a box” doesn’t really communicate anything. “Get me a box measuring 12cm x 60cm x 45 cm made of steel” communicates a lot, objectively. “Get me such a box that’s going to look cute in the drawing room” recedes, like an OAP’s gums, into subjectivity. What’s ‘cute’ to you is not to me, and I actually have no idea what a drawing room is. This is the problem with the great majority of wine descriptions: they are lickle pink subjective notions putting on airs under a stern, black gown of objectivity. There is, thankfully, a sensible middle ground, provided as usual by the Brits. A few examples: “Pale straw colour. Complex, lightly spicy nose and then marked, but not excessive, acidity on the palate. Cool impression of grapefruit flavours with a little citrus-peel bite

John Sherwin, French Wine Tours 07 50 90 02 00 or www.french-wine-tours.com www.facebook.com/bestfrenchwinetours

Saugé Vintage Tea Room Château de Saugé

79400 Saivres 06 29 15 36 55 Info@chateaudesauge.com

Enjoy a hearty Beef Pie which can be served cold with salad or hot with mash & veg HALLOWEEN BEEF PIE

750g minced beef 300mls beef stock / beef broth 2 tbsp Worcester sauce 1 tsp smoked paprika 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1 tbsp onion powder 1 tbsp garlic powder 1 tsp fresh thyme 1 x 375g packet puff pastry 1 egg to glaze

Add the minced beef to the slow cooker add warm stock, Worcester sauce, and smoked paprika, cinnamon, onion and garlic powder and tomato puree. Turn on to high and simmer for 3 hours. When the beef is cooked and cooled preheat the oven to 180°C. Roll out the pastry. To about double the original size. Line the pie tin and add the mixture, cut out your spooky face from the top pastry and then add to your pie. Using your fingers pinch up the edges. Trim off any excess pastry. Brush with egg wash, bake for 45mins @ 180C

October brings darker evenings and of course Halloween

How about a few ideas for your Halloween Party that everyone will love.….Donna

Jekyll & Gin Glowing Cocktails looks coral in daylight—and glows white under a black light

3 oz.Gin 1/2 oz.lemon juice 1 tsp.grenadine 1handful ice tonic water

Mix gin, lemon juice and grenadine in a cocktail shaker; pour into a large glass filled with ice. Top with tonic water. Garnish with a glow stick (optional).

Vintage Tearoom & Shop

Open every Friday, Saturday & Sunday other times by request

Pumpkin Cheesecake Yum Yum

80g butter 275g digestive or ginger biscuits 1 large egg white

For the filling

800g full-fat soft cheese 425g can pumpkin purée 200g light brown soft sugar 50g plain flour 5 large eggs, + 1 large yolk

To serve

400ml whipping cream ground cinnamon or pumpkin spice, for dusting 25g pecans, chopped 3 tbsp caramel sauce

Heattheovento220C/200C Butteradeep22cmloose-bottomedcaketinand linewithbakingparchment. Blitzthebiscuitstocrumbsinaprocessorandadd themeltedbutter.Addthemixtothecaketin andbakefor10mins.Removefromtheoven, brushwiththeeggwhiteandbakeforanother3 mins(thiswillhelpstopthebasefrombecoming soggy). Forthefilling,putthesoftcheeseinabowladd thepumpkinpurée,sugarandflourandbeatuntil combined.Graduallywhipintheeggsandegg yolkuntilthemixtureissmoothandcreamy.Pour thefillingoverthebakedbiscuitbase.Placethe tinonateatowelinaroastingtinandpourina kettlefulofboiledwaterintotheroastingtinso thewatercomeshalfwayupthesideofthecake tin. Bake for 10 mins, then reduce the oven temperatureto110C/90Cfan/gas¼.Bakefora further1hr30minsuntilthecheesecakeisset withjustaslightwobbleinthemiddlewhenyou gentlyshakethetin.Turnofftheoven,thenopen theovendoorslightlyandleavethecheesecake tocoolinsidefor2hrsuntilcompletelycool. Removefromtheovenandchillovernight. Carefullyremovethecoldcheesecakefromthe tinandtransfertoacakestandorservingplate. Whipthecreamtosoftpeaksandspooninbig dollopsoverthecheesecake.Dustwithalittle cinnamonorpumpkinspice,sprinkleoverthe choppedpecansanddrizzlewiththecaramel saucebeforeserving.

@ Château de Saugé

Buy all your UK Food and Drinks locally

Château de Saugé 2 Saugé 79400 Saivres 06 29 15 36 55 Info@chateaudesauge.com Siret: 84890418100015 Chambresd'hôtes–Gites –Event Space –Vintage Tearoom –Trading Post

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MEGAN’S KITCHEN

Gluten Free Recipes

by Megan Like

Gluten/Lactose Free Peanut Butter Bites

Ingredients:

200g peanut butter (crunchy or smooth) 175g golden caster sugar ¼ tsp fine table salt 1 large egg

Equipment:

Mixing bowl, large baking trays, wooden spoon, fork, cooling rack

Method:

Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4 and line 2 large baking trays with baking parchment. Place peanut butter, sugar and salt in a bowl and mix well with a wooden spoon. Add the egg and mix again until the mixture forms a dough. Form into cherry tomato sized balls and place, well-spaced onto the trays. Squash the cookies down a little with the back of a fork. If required the cookies can now be frozen for up to 2 months (they can be cooked from frozen but add an extra couple of minutes to the cooking time) Bake for 12 mins, until golden around the edges and paler in the centre. Cool for 10 mins, before transferring to a wire rack and allow to cool completely. They can be stored in a cookie jar for up to 3 days.

Gluten Free Vanilla Biscuits

Ingredients:

55g lightly salted butter 55g caster sugar 1 small egg 57g golden syrup 1 tsp vanilla extract 225g gluten free plain flour 3g baking powder 3g xanthum gum

Method:

Pre-heat the oven to 130◦C and line a baking tray with greaseproof paper. In a mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until smooth. Add the golden syrup and vanilla extract and mix. Add the egg and mix on a low speed. When well mixed, turn the mixer up to a high speed and mix for 30 seconds. Add the dry ingredients and mix on a low speed. When well mixed, mix on a high speed until the dough comes away from the sides of the bowl (maximum of 1 minute). Rest the dough in the fridge until firm. Kneed the dough on a floured surface until it is tight. Roll the dough to 0.5cm thin and cut out the biscuits. I used pony cutters! Bake for 25 to 30 mins, until golden brown. Decorate with icing, or enjoy as they are!

APPLE RECIPES

Our region is renowned for its apple production. Around the town of Secondigny alone, there are about a thousand hectares of apple trees producing several thousand tons of different varieties which are harvested and shipped across France and the world. Usually, in October there is a week-long festival celebrating the apple, including a huge market where the town is shut off to traffic. There’s even a place where you can take your home-grown apples to be processed into apple juice. Here are some recipes celebrating the “not so humble” apple.

“Secondigny“ Pork Casserole

Based on a traditional Somerset pork dish, this version wraps local apples into a warming and delicious dinner.

INGREDIENTS

450g pork cubed 1 onion, sliced 2 tsp tomato puree vegetable oil fresh or dried sage 250ml vegetable stock 200g mushrooms, sliced 1 cooking apple, cored and sliced 20g (1 tbsp) cornflour medium cider seasoning to taste

METHOD

Pre heat oven to (190 °C / 375 °F / Gas Mark 5). Heat oil in a frying pan, brown the pork and soften the onions. Add tomato puree and sage and stir well. Transfer to a casserole dish. Add enough stock to cover meat, cover with lid and cook for approx. 1 hour or until meat is tender. Add apple and mushrooms, cook for a further 30 minutes. Mix the cornflour and cider (in a separate bowl) to form a thin paste. Stir into the casserole until sauce thickens. Add more cider to thin the sauce if required.

TO SERVE

Serve in a bowl with mashed potatoes.

Pan-Cooked Apple Crumble

INGREDIENTS 125g plain flour

1 grated lemon rind Pinch of salt 90g chilled butter cubed 60g soft brown sugar 1 tablespoon golden syrup 5 apples peeled, cored and chopped

METHOD

In a large bowl mix together flour, salt and lemon rind. Rub 60g of the butter into flour mixture to form a course crumb texture. Stir in sugar and put in freezer for 20 minutes. Melt the remaining butter in a pan and add apples, cook for 10 minutes and stir regularly. Cover and cook for a further 5-10 minutes until fruit is tender. Add golden syrup and increase heat to allow apples to start to caramelize. Transfer apples to a plate and keep warm. Wipe pan clean and add crumble mixture reducing heat to medium. Cook for 5 minutes without stirring until golden.

This warming autumn pudding is ready in half an hour and no oven is required. TO SERVE

Divide apple mixture between four bowls and top with crumble. For extra crunch try adding 25g of chopped walnuts or pecans to crumble just before serving.

Apple Cider Pie

A pretty lattice crust conceals sultanas and sweet apples. The cider can always be replaced with apple juice if preferred.

Apple Stuffed Pork Steaks

A simple but satisfying dish which elevates the humble pork chop. However if you are short of time serve the apple mixture on the side using the juices to glaze the chops. INGREDIENTS

225g shortcrust pastry 1 egg beaten 50g sultanas 2 teaspoons cornflour 4 tablespoons sweet cider 700gs apples peeled, cored and chopped 25g caster sugar plus a little to dredge

METHOD

Pre heat oven to (190 °C / 375 °F / Gas Mark 5). Place a baking tray in the oven. Heat apples, sugar, sultanas and 3 tablespoon of cider in a pan. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until mixture is soft. Mix the remaining cider with the cornflour and stir into apple mixture. Heat gently until thickened. Allow to cool for at least 10 minutes. Grease a 23cm pie dish. Roll out 2/3rds of the pastry and use to line dish. Roll out remaining pastry and cut into 6mm wide strips or alternatively use a lattice cutter to make a top. Spoon the filling into the pie case and either arrange pastry strips into a lattice pattern or top with the whole lattice piece. Dampen edges of the lattice, pressing the edge down and flute with a fork. Glaze with the beaten egg and bake on hot baking sheet for about 40 minutes until golden.

TO SERVE

Serve on its own, hot or cold, dredged with sugar. Or perhaps with lashings of hot custard or double cream. In France, try it with Crème Anglaise.

INGREDIENTS

25g butter or block margarine 1 tablespoon sugar 1 tablespoon olive oil 225ml cider ½ teaspoon dried rosemary Pinch ground nutmeg Pinch salt and black pepper 2 large apples cored and cut into wedges 4 boneless pork steaks ( approx. 100 g each)

METHOD

On a medium heat melt butter in a large non-stick frying pan, add apples and cook for 3 minutes stirring regularly. Add sugar and cook for a further 2 minutes until golden. Remove from heat. Trim any fat from pork and cut a deep pocket in each steak. Spoon apple mixture into each pocket and secure with a cocktail stick. Clean and dry pan and heat oil on medium heat. Cook pork steaks for about 2 minutes a side until brown. Add cider, rosemary, nutmeg and seasoning. Simmer on low heat for about 25 minutes until meat is no longer pink in the centre.

TO SERVE

Remove cocktail sticks and drizzle pan juices over the pork steaks. Serve with roast potatoes and seasonal vegetables.