The Everyday Crown Rocker Mag - The Christmas Issue

The Christmas Issue

December 2019

The Everyday Crown Rocker

Holiday Design Tips from a Holiday Design Pro! Plus what you need to rock your crown over the Holidays

3

Home for the Holidays

6

A Type A Christmas

10

Joy

12

A guide for creating your 2020 Soul care goals

14 16 18 20

Giving gifts to Jesus Giving One Holy Night A girl maned Mary

22

A designers guide to Decorating the perfect Christmas Tree

27

Am I broken?

31

A girl's guide to God

34

A Christmas Look - Classic Smoky Eye

37

5 Outfits for free

44 46

Emotional Eating over the Holidays Give the gift of Healthy Love this Christmas

Home for the Holidays

By: Kelly Ramsey

“People will forget what you say, people will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou Images of the holidays are flooding our timelines right now and creating a plan that may be different than what our everyday lives represent.

Let’s stop the timeline and create our own images and plan for the holidays. When we live with intention we can interrupt all of the messages for urgency at any time. By slowing down, and focusing on what matters most we can rewrite our own script for the holidays.

For some holiday time is a stressful time and filled with memories that aren’t so fond.

For others the holidays bring a warm feeling that we look forward to. As parents, we are creating lasting memories that our children will live into, so let’s be intentional about memory making and the holidays.

At A to Z parenting we begin with the memory of this season that focus on spaces and slowing the time down to think and imagine what we want our days to be full of and to feel like.

Memories are made by intentional focus on what matters most to those you care about. Sitting by the fireplace tonight, I am reminiscing about my dad. The fire brings me right back home to my childhood home, watching daddy tend the fire to warm the house for us.

It’s by the fire, that we read our books, drank hot chocolate, and talked as little girls. We had no idea what it took to build that fire, but we were the partakers of its warmth and memories.

What we remember of those times are the rituals of my dad’s life, and the lessons they taught us. He payed attention to the details of life.

He remembered fresh flowers on your birthday.

He loved the smells and scents of the perfume we wore as daughters, coming home for a visit. He remembered the details of the recipes for lemon curd, cranberry mold, and the lemon pound cake. It was in the routines and the partaking of rituals that he lived.

As we enter the holidays, let’s focus on those moments and creating space for rituals.

This holiday season in our home we are focusing on being home for the holidays.

The home is our centering place that we move from. We use our home as a space to express who each person is to our family and world around us. Creating spaces at home to gather for fellowship, fun and festivities brings everyone home.

3

Here are a few tips to keep home at the center of your holidays:

Create spaces for living and sharing

1

In your home look at the spaces you have for gathering together.

Two chairs positioned near each other with a small table that holds a carafe of hot cocoa and two mugs becomes a space for sharing a cup of hot cocoa. A sofa with a blanket and comfy pillows becomes a place to snuggle and watch a movie together. Create bedrooms that smell of Christmas scents and invite you to come in with a Christmas throw and fluffy pillows.

Capture the memories

2

Memories are in the stories we tell. Keep a journal and jot down what you’re thankful for each day. As you gather the memories take pictures and tape them to your journal. This creates a memory journal of your experiences each Christmas and you get to revisit them every year as you unpack your boxes.

Spread the Joy and invite others to join you.

3

Invite friends over to share in your family rituals by having a cookie exchange. Everyone bakes two dozen cookies and leave with a variety of cookies to enjoy for the holidays. Our favorite to bake are gingerbread cookies in the shapes of a family. We eat some, and we hang some on the tree. This year’s tree is home for the holidays, with gingerbread cookies, bundles of cinnamon sticks, rolling pins, and ornaments with aprons. What will you create?

Conversations over Hot Cocoa InCreate a hot chocolate bar. It’s so simple. A box of hot cocoa mix, candy canes, marshmallows, chocolate chips, and mugs. Set it out in a special place and invite your family to enjoy each day. Just keep it stocked up and ready for guest who may stop by as well. In our family, we have hot cocoa every day from December 1st to December 31st.

4

Here are a few tips to keep home at the center of your holidays:

5

Coffee and Tea Our family loves to drink coffee and tea in the mornings for a slow start to the day. Enjoy your coffee and share conversations about what’s ahead for the year, and ideas for celebrations. This is so important I actually write it into my planner to be sure coffee time with my hubby happens weekly in the midst of our busy days.

Popcorn Stations Holidays are synonymous with movie-time and snuggling with a warm blanket. Create a popcorn bar with an old fashioned popcorn maker, and flavored popcorn salts to add to your popcorn.

6

Add a little bit of body text Create a welcoming table

7

Decorating a tablescape that is edible or interactive. Include a giving tree with notes of encouragement for all who sit at the table. A bowl of fruit and nuts welcomes everyone to enjoy and be nourished.

Decorations that share your story Rather than buying into the commercialized decorations create your own special displays or trees. We created a fishers of men tree last year to represent our work in discipleship of others. A new addition to the family was Maestro our cat, so he had a tree with little cat ornaments on them. This year we will add a tree for Grace our puppy who is growing so fast. A tree for the sports the boys have played, with ribbon and décor to match their favorite teams or photos of them playing the game.

8

What will you create in your home to express your family joys and experiences? The holidays can be filled with moments of everyday living and joy when we plan with intention and keep centered on what matters most. Happy Holidays from our home to yours.

Kelly Ramsey the owner of Developing People, Inc. is a experienced presenter and workshop leader in the areas of early childhood education, parenting, relationship development and adult education. Her work in the field of early education has spanned local, state, regional and national leadership over the past 35 years

A TYPE A

CHRISTMAS STORY

BY: AUTUMN HOOVER

As we approach the beauty of Christmas, the anticipated season encompasses feelings of excitement and wonder for all ages. The Christians of the world pause to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and churches come together to bring a sense of peace and hope unto all the world. The Christmas story is generously spread to those less fortunate through acts of kindness and love via donations of food, clothing, and toys. Communities gather together for Christmas tree lightings, beautiful holiday music, and live nativity scenes. The final month of the year also brings a time of individual reflection as we not only recognize our accomplishments throughout the previous months but also identify goals for the upcoming year.

There is a certain magic in the crisp December air that is unmistakable; unfortunately, the true meaning of Christmas can be overlooked due to our busy schedules, which undoubtedly brings STRESS to the Type A Christians of the world!

Type A individuals always set high expectations and the Christmas season is definitely not exempt.

We embellish our homes with lavish decorations, engage our children with elaborate Elf on the Shelf ideas, entertain our friends at festive gatherings in our homes, organize social events for co-workers, schedule church activities for all ages, and develop working schedules for Christmas brunch and dinners with extended family members! I will be the first to admit in my role as wife and mom, ob-gyn nurse practitioner, Christian media blogger, and singer on our church praise team—the Christmas season is slightly overwhelming at times. But, this year I have added another task for my to-do list, which is to enjoy the splendor and glory of Christmas as we celebrate not just the birth of the newborn King but His promised return as well!

In starting to write this article, we are currently in the midautumnal season and the beautiful fall foliage is starting to collect on our withering grass. I truly love this time of year as it brings a sense of calmness before the scheduling storm of the holiday season. Despite adjusting to our daughter’s return to school and acclimation to a new grade level, I always feel like fall is a season of rest, especially after 6 completing our busy spring and summer schedules.

AsSpring is always a demanding time for us as my husband serves as the head baseball coach and teacher at a local high school. And while he is a supportive husband and father, I often consider myself a single parent during his baseball season while cooking dinners, cleaning the house, and helping our daughter learn various methods of common core multiplication.

However, as soon as baseball season comes to an end, my daughter and husband wrap-up another school year as summer quickly approaches. My husband and daughter are then able to enjoy a restful break, while I continue working my 9-5 job. Let’s be honest—it’s very challenging to leave them at home some days, but I have a wonderful job that I do not take for granted in talking to women on a daily basis! The summer days are long for me, but I try to keep up with my husband and daughter after I return home from work and help with various house projects that are typically ignored during the school year. While sometimes exhausted, I do find pleasure and a sense of accomplishment when checking off tasks from my to-do lists. And then as summer vacation and extended bedtimes come to an end, I actually find relief when the new school year starts, and our schedule is…well, back on schedule!

Creating an organized schedule is important to me because it provides structure over various priorities, especially throughout the holiday season when our time is so very limited. My husband, daughter, and I are blessed to live in the same area as our extended families, but this also means our time must be divided equally.

We have various family traditions on both sides that have required careful selection over the last seventeen years of marriage, and unfortunately, this has required missing certain obligations on one side or the other. Thankfully, our families are understanding, but I am tired of feeling rushed through the holiday season.

Not only do I have family commitments, but I also have responsibilities to my church and work. So, how do we overcome our endless calendar of events during the last month of the year? A four-syllable word…delegation, or perhaps an even better word, INVITATION

.In researching for my “Type A Christian” book, I learned about various types of personalities. The only thing I knew prior to writing is that there are people who are ‘Type A’ and there are people who are not! Type A’s are usually self-motivated, goal-oriented, and self-reliant. We typically maintain a sense of urgency in fulfilling every task set before us and take pride in receiving compliments from those who benefit from our good deeds.

However, there are some negative traits that I discovered about myself in maintaining a Type A personality. I am quick-tempered when I do not get my way and often self-centered when others have ideas that differ from my own opinions, and I am often inconsiderate in expecting others to perform at my same pace. However, I did learn some valuable information from my research in regards to those who do not consider themselves Type A. For example, many with Type B personalities may procrastinate on specific tasks, but after completion, they actually take the time to enjoy reaching their goals before immediately jumping into another task like Type A’s. Type B’s are usually less anxious than Type A’ when trying to meet obligatory deadlines, but nonetheless, they are still willing to help with various opportunities. Type B’s may also feel insecure and unsolicited when compared to those who exhibit outgoing and controlling personalities.

This may cause Type A’s to feel overwhelmed with even more tasks because Type B’s may feel redundant and exclude themselves altogether..

To explain this phenomenon, I want to share about a recent visit to a local coffee shop. I was recently ordering some decaf mochas, but the managing barista initially started making the typical caffeinated versions. She quickly realized her mistake and stated her understanding as to why customers order decaf coffees, including heart conditions, pregnancy, and my personal reason—migraines. We began a friendly conversation and she mentioned that one of her employees recently made the statement that decaf coffee drinkers are not real coffee drinkers. The manager quickly told the employee that decaf drinkers are actually truer fans of coffee.

Her reasoning because decaf drinkers continue to drink coffee despite receiving the actual benefits of drinking caffeine, specifically a jolt in energy and mental clarity. As I was thinking about different personality types around the holidays, I thought about her statements. While Type A’s are typically the ‘caffeinated’ versions of Christians and display more intense, observable actions, Type B’s may be described as the ‘decaffeinated’ versions due to their more subdued traits. Type A’s must understand that even though other individuals may not exhibit outward expressions of a passionate personality, Type B’s are still passionate Christians even if they work behind the scenes. Just like there are multiple reasons for drinking decaf, there are multiple reasons that individuals do not like seeking attention, such as anxiety and a fear of public speaking. And while Type B’s may not offer the same jolt or kick like those with caffeinated personalities, they still enjoy the same spark and flavor for the Christmas season.

So, when you feel like you are holding the weight of the holidays on your shoulders, remember to extend an invitation to anyone who is willing to contribute. Once you realize that you don’t have to do everything on your own, look for ways to encourage others to serve in ways that suit their strengths. Family members, co-workers, or members of your church may not be as outspoken and prefer to work behind-the-scenes, but when given the opportunity, they make valuable contributions, such as planning, decorating, scheduling menus, cooking, shopping, wrapping gifts, and executing various activities. Just one quick biblical suggestion, don’t be quick to judge their recommendations! The book of James tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (1:19), while the book of Philippians tells us to look to the interests of others, not ourselves (2:4). We all want to feel included regardless of personality type, and it is very difficult to feel included when others are controlling the holiday environment. Just because Type A’s are perfectionists, this does not mean that every idea we have is perfect! And, while some may procrastinate and not work on our timely expectations, learn to be patient and open to change!

And don’t forget that children love to feel involved through the holidays as well! My daughter loves to surprise others especially in regards to baking, but while she typically functions at one speed, I know she likes to help and I include her as often as I can. This year my aim is to work on recipes a few weekends in advance and then freeze until needed.

This will not only provide “quality time” with my daughter and fill her “love tank,” but it will also decrease the tasks that I have to complete and allow more time to spend with other family members during Christmas. And when you’re in the kitchen with your children, parents, or friends, don’t forget to turn up the music! There are multiple sources that suggest singing along with music actually decreases stress hormones! Let’s be honest, we all know that the Christmas season can be hectic due to the amount of work, but the choice is ours—we can either choose to complete our tasks out of necessity or out of love by creating a fun work environment.

So, how does delegation and invitation improve our relationship with our Savior throughout the Christmas season? Well, for one, we are honoring His commandments in sharing quality time with those we love but also allowing more time to share His message of hope and grace with the rest of the world. Christmas takes on different meanings for everyone. For some, it is a celebration of Jesus’ birth, while others are curious why stores and restaurants are closed. The great commission teaches us to share how Jesus was sent from Heaven, crucified to save us from our sins, and resurrected by the Heavenly Father to prepare a place for His believers. I for one look forward to the Christmas season for not only creating precious memories with loved ones but also anticipating Christ’s promised return. Inviting others to fulfill various obligations are key to decreasing stress throughout the month of December, but the most important invitation you can offer is the love, hope, and grace of Jesus Christ. There are so many who will be celebrating Christmas this year without a loved one, but there is One who can fill that void—and He may be using you to extend a special Christmas invitation in more ways than one!

Follow the Author:FB at https://m.facebook.com/TypeAChristia n/Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/type_a_ch ristian/Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/typeachris tian/Author Page & Free Personality Quiz at https://www.chasingkites.com/author s/autumn-hoover/Type A Talks-To schedule Autumn for a speaking engagement, please email at TypeAChristian@gmail.com

JOY !

By: Christina Kimball

In 2005 I was medically retired from law enforcement and chose to be retrained in website design. This began my grand adventure in doing business online. I am passionate about providing the platform and support for kingdom driven leaders, business owners, and entrepreneurs, and those who desire to be, to impact lives, advance the kingdom of heaven on earth and release heaven through the work that they do.

Whether it is providing coaching, consulting or digital media publishing services or speaking and equipping through live and virtual events, the goal is the same - support others in being Holy Spirit-led and partnering with God to do something absolutely AMAZING for humanity! I am all about partnering with God in business and life. It's the key to an abundantly prosperous life.Website www.kingdomcomemovement.comFacebook www.facebook.com/kingdomcomemovementInstagram www.instagram.com/byupublishingYouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLr5Z9H8IS1kx5Gxse4dN2g

10

IT’S CHRISTMASTIME AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS OF THE SEASON IS “JOY TO THE WORLD”.

LChristmas is generally a time when we focus on the birth of the King, the promised Messiah, preceded by supernatural conception and birth in a manger.

Perhaps if we close our eyes and imagine that we travel back in time to the birth of our Savior, maybe, just maybe we will hear all of creation singing, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come...”. Okay, so maybe all of creation didn’t actually sing, however, I am pretty sure there was joy to be found in the presence of baby Jesus. You see, He was on a mission.

You might be wondering, “Christina, what does this have to do with business???” Hang in there with me as I explain.

We know that Jesus said, “Yes!” to God’s plan all the way through. From a virgin birth to ministry and performing miracles to the torture and burden of the cross to the grave to resurrection, and finally, to the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus continually said, “Yes, God!” Even when He got tired and the burden was at its heaviest, Jesus said, “Yes!”. Why? Because He had a mission, a purpose, a goal and His focus didn’t waiver.

Hebrews 12:2 AMP tells us that “for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him [Jesus] endured the cross.” https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/HEB.12.2.amp. In The Passion Translation it says, “Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross”. https://my.bible.com/bible/1849/HEB.12.2.tpt

He kept His focus on His purpose, to do the will of the Father. He kept the focus of His heart on the joy of the result of the finished work of the cross which is forgiveness, atonement, salvation, healing, and eternity with His beloveds... you and me.

I wonder, what is the joy set before you in the work that you do? What is the kingdom impact in your business relationships and in the marketplace? The answer to these questions will get you through difficult and challenging times as you continually focus on the joy set before you. The answers will give you focus and determination to partner with God like never before in your business.

I invite you to wonder with me. Think of a program, project or offer in your business and then close your eyes, take a deep breath in and slowly release it. With your eyes closed, ask God, “What is the joy that I should know that is the result of this finished work?” Write it down, type it up, draw it or somehow document the answer you receive.

If you don’t sense an answer from God, that’s okay. I encourage you to take some time to enjoy His presence through reading the word (Hebrews 12 would be a great chapter to meditate on), worshipping Him through song, and praying. Then try asking the question again. I have a feeling that He desires to share the answer with you and I am so excited for you to receive the answer!

As you close out 2019 in your business and go into 2020, how wonderful it will be for you to enter a new decade with increased clarity and sense of purpose as you focus on the joy set before you and release heaven through the work that you do. I am super excited for you and, if you feel led to share, I would love to hear what the joy set before you is. You can find me at ReleaseHeaven.com or email me at christina@buildingyouup.com.

A Guide for Creating Your 2020 Soul Goals BY: LATARA VENISE

12

This is the time of year when we evaluate, consider, and determine our goals for 2020.

Can I encourage you to consider your Soul Goals?

What do you need to do moving forward into the next year to bring some happiness, peace, and satisfaction to your life every day.A desire to be happy is something that almost everyone has in common. But it is not always easy to create happiness, nor to decide whether you are happy once you feel you should be in this state of mind.

Life will have its ups and downs, and so it is helpful if we have a gauge by which to judge whether we have achieved happiness or not.As you focus on your 2020 goals, focus on your soul, and consider the following questions as you do.

Do I Wake Up Excited about the Day? This is a tell-tale sign about your inner happiness. Do you wake up each morning ready to face the day, or do you feel anxious and fearful? It is difficult to be happy if you are starting off each morning in a negative way.

Do I Enjoy the People I Spend Most of My Time With?

The people you spend most of your time with are the people who will have the greatest influence on you. If they are bitter, discouraging and lack motivation, chances are that you will eventually become the same type of person. If your friends are not uplifting, find new ones. Spend your extra time with those who will cause your life to be more joyful and will help you create positive memories that will bring long-term happiness.

Do I Look Forward to the Work I do Every Day? Whether you are working, attending school, or doing something else... you should feel a sense of anticipation when you think about being there.

There are certain things we must do, like pay the rent, so your decision to work may not be an option. You do, however, have an option as to where you work. If you don’t like it, change it.

Do I Dread or Look Forward to My Future?

THappiness includes feeling confident and secure about your future. We live in uncertain times, but that doesn’t mean that we must live every day in fear. Grow your confidence in small ways and consider counselling if you feel more than occasional stress when you think about the future ahead.

Do I Know My Life Purpose??

Everyone has a life purpose. There is something about you that makes you a unique gift to the world. If you have not discovered this about yourself yet, your self-esteem will suffer, as will your happiness. There are many questionnaires and books dedicated to discovering your life purpose. Consider investing your time to learn more and find what makes you feel most fulfilled in life.

Being happy is not a frivolous desire. It is important to know how you are wired and what it takes to be happy with yourself and your life. By asking yourself these questions and then taking a moment to think about your answers, you will be well on your way to a life of true happiness.

LaTara Venise is a certified master life coach, author, entrepreneurial mentor, storyteller, and vision keeper. She has been there; done that, and now writes books, helps people have healthy emotional conversations and speaks nationwide about a life not lived and the dangers it causes. It is the mission of her brand to help people tend to their soul, get comfortable with their truth, and succeed in discovering, developing, and delivering vision.

BY: SARAH HOLSTROM

Giving gifts to Jesus When I first became a mom, a strong desire welled up in me to make sure Christmas was magical and sparkling and over-the-top exciting for my kids. December would hit each year and the manic would set in for me. A voice in my head yelled, “We must decorate the house in every room, do eight hundred Christmas devotions, open advent calendars each day, get a perfect Santa picture, make DIY ornaments, light a fire and sip on hot cocoa while Christmas carols play in the background, etc, etc.” I would see friends doing cute things with their kids on Facebook and I would add it to our list.

Over the years, we have been working to simplify the season and to teach our kids the unsurpassable joy that comes from giving and loving others the way we have been lavishly loved by Jesus. We try to focus on blessing our friends and neighbors and making blessing bags for those in our community who might not have homes. These activities have been meaningful and important, but we still haven’t spent a ton of time focusing on what matters most-Jesus himself.

The other night I was nursing our baby and I could hear my husband tucking in our three older kids.

They were excitedly going over all the things that they wanted for Christmas. I heard him say, “Well, what about Jesus? It’s his birthday not ours.” Then they all started talking about how funny it is that they get gifts on their birthdays and on Jesus’ birthday, but that Jesus doesn’t get any presents.

We all decided that this year would be different and we’d each come up with a gift to give Jesus.

14

When Jesus came to earth as a baby that first Christmas, God’s amazing rescue plan was finally happening! God gave the world the most wonderful gift--He sent his own son to live with us and to save us from our sins forever. A group of wise men heard the news and traveled a long way to see Him. They had been waiting for God to keep His promise and send them a Savior. They knew He was the King of the world and they knew they just had to meet Him. When they finally arrived at the child’s home, they gave Him their most precious treasures of all- gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These gifts were perfectly fit for a King. The wise men gave up their lives, their plans, their schedules, to find Him, worship him, and give him gifts.

So, how can we be like the wise men--totally adoring and devoted to our King?

What in the world can we give to Jesus, the King of all Kings, who already has everything? Ask your kids for ideas and make a list! Here are some ideas our family came up with:

Give Jesus your devotion He wants our whole entire hearts. Spend time surrendering, confessing, listening, praying, and worshiping. This can be done individually or as a family. A great way to do it together is to plan a Praise Party. Turn on your favorite worship songs and spend time dancing, singing, and kneeling before God. Thank Him together for sending His son Jesus that first Christmas! Another way to give Jesus the gift of devotion is to write letters to Him thanking Him for all that He has given us. Younger kids can decorate cards and draw pictures to King Jesus.

Give Jesus your time Serve together as a family. Find out if there are any family friendly service projects happening at your church or another local church. This year we are going to serve at our church’s homeless ministry.

The first Saturday of every month, our church serves with God’s Pantry to provide food, clothes and prayer to those in need. We are so excited to do this as a family this Christmas season. We are also including grandparents so there are more adults to help with the littlest servers.

My seven year old son came up with his favorite way to serve as a family. Make blessing bags! Head to the dollar store and purchase toiletry items and snacks to make blessing bags for those who are in need. We pass them out during the month of December and write a list on our phones of everyone’s names who we met and gave a bag too. Then we spend time as a family praying over the names.

Give Jesus your resources Help your kids earn some extra money around the house and then decide how to use it to bless others. They can go shopping and buy toys for a local toy drive or hospital. They can use it for church offering or to bless someone they know who is in need.

My 5 year old came up with another great gift for Jesus in this category. She said, “What if we pick out toys from our room that we really love and give them away to kids who would love them even more?”

After all, Christmas is not really about you and me— it’s about God coming to earth to be close to His people. It’s about Jesus.

GIVING By: Brandon J. Galici

With finances being such a stressor, especially during the holidays, it can be difficult to be grateful in this area even though it’s so important. If we aren’t able to be grateful where we are today, it will be tough to be grateful in the future.

More money doesn’t fix our issue, better management does.

Money often claims power over us. “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.”

(1 Timothy 6:10 NLT) In order to break this stronghold, we should focus on two things: 1) God owns it all 2) Tithing/Giving

God Owns It All Understanding that we

own nothing and God blesses us with all that we have is stewardship. We are simply managers of His money. This perspective changes things for us. In order to handle more money well, we must start with what we have today and be grateful in our current situation.

16

Giving/Tithing “It is more blessed to give than to

Practical Application I recommend making tithing a

receive.” (Acts 20:35 NLT) We know this is true.

non negotiable item in your spending plan or budget.

Think of how you feel at Christmas when you have

Many churches now offer online giving where you are

the perfect gift for your significant other or kids

able to schedule recurring tithes so that you don’t have to

and how excited you are for them to open it. The

worry about it each week. If you are struggling with the

expression on their face brings you so much joy.

concept of tithing, I suggest praying and spending time in the Bible first. Then seek counsel of a trusted leader or

If we know how enjoyable it is to give, then why is

friend in your church.

it so difficult to give back to our church and other charitable ministries? It’s a heart issue and not a

As always, please reach out to me if you have any

money issue. The world will say, “Giving 10%

questions and I will be happy to help.

doesn’t make sense.” From a strictly mathematical perspective, that’s correct. However, God doesn’t operate on “worldly math,” but instead on “Kingdom math.” Feeding 5,000 families with five loaves of bread and two fish doesn’t make sense, but it happened because God was involved.

Once we begin giving and taking money’s stronghold from us, we will experience the “floodgates of heaven.” (Malachi 3:10 NIV)

Whether you are living paycheck to paycheck or have mastered your money, his goal for you is to have the knowledge and information to take actionable steps to succeed in your personal finance journey. Through a Biblical lens, Brandon will guide you through simple strategies to give you the skills and confidence to manage your money God’s way.

By: Kathleen Krueger

ONE HOLY NIGHT

Mother told me I shouldn’t make the trip. But we couldn’t risk the consequences of defying a command of Caesar.

A“Joseph is a good man,” I told her. “He’ll take care of me.”

“Water, Joseph. My mouth is dry.”

“What do men know of birthing a child?” she said, choking back tears.

Joseph did his best to soothe me, reciting Psalms of comfort, reminding me that I carried a miracle child – a holy child, the Promised One.

She’d tried to prepare me as best she could. I had the bundle of swaddling clothes she had given me for the baby, the birthing blanket to put underneath me, and plenty of rags for my time of impurity.

Her description of the birth pangs was matter-of-fact, avoiding eye contact, as she packed my things. “Rest as much as you can between pains,” she said. “Save your energy for the delivery.”

‘I wish she were here,’ I thought, as my round belly felt the pressure mounting again.

But she wasn’t here. There was no one here to share in this moment but my husband, Joseph. Only our donkey shared our stall in the Bethlehem stable. The oxen and donkeys of other travelers filled the rest of the space, munching on their hay unconcerned.

Who would have guessed that I would deliver my child in Bethlehem, so far from home? Yet, it is just as the prophet Micah foretold.

Centuries ago, he prophesied about the new ruler who would be sent to the Jews, a ruler whose origin stretched back to the beginning of time.

During our journey, Joseph often encouraged me with words of Isaiah, “Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (God with us).”

I labored, as the Children of Israel have labored for centuries, trusting in the Promise. Finally, with one last push, my son came forth – wet and pink and tiny.

Joseph dampened the cleaning rags with water from the stable trough to wash him. His first cry broke the silence as the cool air stung his tender skin.

I marveled as I looked at him. So, small and vulnerable, so perfectly beautiful.

Tears wet my cheeks.

Who was I to bring the Holy One into this world, to be entrusted with his care and safety? Why would God choose to bring his Messiah into the world in a stable? Why not the learned hands of a rabbi rather than the rough hands of a carpenter to lead him?

I looked at my husband, the man who had chosen to walk with me on this journey despite the whispers and disrespect we endured. He too, had been visited. He too, had accepted the will of God for us.

In all the Passovers I had celebrated, as inspiring as they were, never had I experienced such a sense of God’s holy presence. There were no words worth speaking. Not even the psalms of David could express the sense of wonder and joy that enveloped us.

This innocent child washed away the difficulties of our journey. Yet, we know, the true journey has just begun.

18

SABBATH'S EXPANSE. Stop! Says the Lord, Stop I say.

Cease from your work, cease from your play.

No more laboring, no earning of pay.

No household chores, no, not today.

No worry allowed in the mind of man, no figuring it out, no making of plans.

No building your business with your own hands, all these things... on One day He bans.

What shall we do then? the people they ask, now that you've relieved us of every small task.

Shall we put on a frown like a theatre mask?

Shall we sleep all day as in leisure we bask?

Oh, no!, says the Lord, Don't be so sedate.

Do what I did, when I ceased to create.

Throw a big party and stay up late, rejoice in my goodness; let's celebrate!

Plan for a crowd, cook in advance; hallow my Name in song and dance.

Frolic and feast, your life enhance; joyfully revel in

Kathleen Krueger is a full-time freelance writer and poet, that lives in Brainerd, Minnesota with her husband Steve. Her business name, Crafter of Words, covers her love and use of the language arts in its various forms, both verbally and written. You may visit her website at KathleenKrueger.com to find out more about Kathleen or her Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/kkruegerwriter/

A girl named: Mary

by Audrey Rusch The hustle and bustle of the holiday season is upon us. It is so easy to get caught up in all the preparations and parties that we lose sight of the true reason for the celebration. The birth of Jesus brought redemption for mankind, a way for us to be reconciled to God. A key part of the plan of redemption was a little girl named Mary who was willing to do what God asked her to do.

The gospel of Luke gives us the most detailed account of the birth of Jesus, including events that preceded His actual arrival. Luke starts the story with God making a way for a barren couple to have a baby that was John the Baptist, the predecessor to Jesus’ ministry. Beginning at Luke 1:26, we pick up the story with Mary hearing from an angel that she would bear the Messiah.

“In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy (JTB’s mom) God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David.

The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, ‘Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.’

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.”

Ok, let’s pause here a minute. An angel appears to you, and you’re troubled by the greeting he gives you?

What? Do angels pop in and visit you on a regular basis? If an angel showed up in my living room and started talking, I’m not sure the first thing I’d be concerned about is how he greeted me. It makes me think, that Mary had a special belief in God. Not your every day, run of the mill “yeah, I believe in God.” No, she believed what she had been taught about God to the extent that when an angel appeared to her – not something that happens to many people – she was not surprised by the fact that the angel was there. She focused immediately on the words he was bringing her and what they meant, starting with the first words out of his mouth.

“But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever: his kingdom will never end.’ ‘How will this be,’ Mary asked the angel, ‘since I am a virgin?’

20

TIt’s interesting to me that Mary asked the angel how it was she would give birth to a son since she was a virgin. Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph. She could have assumed the angel was telling her about a child she and Joseph would have together. Many of us in this same situation would immediately begin imagining how this would happen in the natural, but not Mary. The message was delivered to her in such a way that she understood this child was not going to be conceived in the usual fashion.

There is a lesson in that for us. When God gives an assignment, we often start trying to figure out how we can make it happen.

We start contemplating what needs to be done and all of the options. We formulate a plan rather than asking God “How will this be?” God gave the assignment. He will provide instructions and resources to get it done. We must ask, listen and trust Him to provide the steps and the timing to walk it out.

The angel then explained to Mary how this child would be conceived. He told her about her cousin Elizabeth who was going to have a child in her old age. His last words to her were “For no word from God will ever fail.” Mary’s response is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant…May your word to me be fulfilled.” At that moment she put her complete trust in God and believed He would guide and protect her through the assignment.

Mary completely surrendered her will to God’s plan. She did not hesitate. She did not offer any excuses about why she was not the right person for the job. She didn’t vocalize her concerns. I’m sure she had many. She was at risk of losing her future with Joseph and being ostracized from her church, family and community. She would be the subject of vicious and hurtful gossip. None of those things were discussed with the angel. She simply said, I’m ready to serve…Let’s do this! (my paraphrase) Imagine if she had said, “Gee Gabe, I don’t know. I’ve got this engagement going with Joseph and I don’t want to mess that up, and what are my parents going to say when I show up pregnant before I’m married? Not just my parents, what about the Rabbi over at the synagogue? Oh, and those gossiping girls at school? They’ll never let me live this down!”

Gabriel probably would have politely excused himself and gone back to God to tell him Mary was not up for the challenge. You see, when we hesitate and make excuses we force God to work out another way to get His plan into the earth. He will only wait so long for us to respond. He is patient but he also needs His will done in the earth. His plans will always succeed. However, we may miss being part of it – and we miss His best plan for our life.

Mary is a wonderful illustration of humble obedience to God’s plan.

She was not alarmed that an angel appeared, she was expecting the supernatural She understood the message he brought was something that she could not do in her own strength.

She trusted God to protect and guide her through the journey.

She was willing to do whatever God asked her to do without concern for what it meant to her personally.

She put aside her plans and desires to do what God asked her to do.

So the next time God asks you to do something, remember Mary and the example she set for accepting God’s plan over your own.

BY: CASSIE KITZMILLER

A Designers Guide to: Decorating the Perfect Christmas Tree

Christmas is such a magical time of year.

The festive atmosphere, the delicious treats, visiting family and friends, and at the heart of our holiday home is the Christmas tree. The tree is the center of many a party, pictures, and memories for years to come.

As such, I believe it deserves a little bit of extra love and attention. As a licensed Interior Designer, and professional Holiday decorator for over 15 years, I am here to give you my favorite insider tips and tricks to designing a tree worthy of the spotlight!

This article is going to cover my signature “Art of the Tree� process and share with you how to create a beautiful Christmas tree using the treasured items you already have. This season is a time that I look forward to all year, because I love Christmas and I especially love decorating Christmas trees. Everyone has their hobbies; decorating beautiful trees happens to be one of mine. Now, let me share with you some of the techniques and tools you can use to make your own tree look its best for the holidays!

22

Garlands: Purpose- Add direction and texture. wide for wrapping and thin for hanging vertically; Picks: Purpose- truly give the tree it’s personality. Glittered, natural, floral, berries, truly endless styles; **Great way to freshen an existing tree** Ribbon/fabric: Purpose- add softness, color, and pattern. Used for wrapping, tendrils, bows, add softness and fullness; **Great way to tie look together through rest of house** Ornaments: Purpose-Main element or filler on tree. Endless opportunities. Variety of sizes is so important (Most important is to add There are endless ways to decorate a beautiful tree large), as well as shape (not just round!), and and truly no right or wrong way, but I want to give you finish (shiny and matte). **Add 8-10 new all some tips today to make your tree decorating ornaments to add new theme or color to process this year the easiest and most beautiful ever! I existing look** You do not have to toss all of consider tree decorating to truly be a 3-D art-form, your ornaments you’ve collected through the and as just as a painter has tools and techniques, so years to get a new look. Just add some feature should you as you work on your next ornaments in prominent places to your existing pieces. masterpiece.When it comes to decorating your tree, we’re going to start with tools- Not all of these are Fillers: Purpose-Add whimsy and fullness. necessary on every tree so pick and choose which Have fun! Can be anything! Baskets, elements match the look you are doing and the feel birdcages, branches, florals, tree bouquets, you want to achieve: stockings, berries, etc.Vertical Elements: The tree: Purpose-The canvas. So many options, real or Purpose-Directs the eye up and down. Adds artificial, green or flocked, slim or full, how tall? You need to drama. Beaded garlands hung vertically, really consider the size of your space and the look you want to icicles, finial ornaments, etc. achieve when selecting your tree. For a list of pros and cons of real vs artificial, see my book “The Christmas Tree”.

Lights: Purpose: Add brightness and sparkle. Most of us probably use white lights as our base, but consider adding a strand of twinkle lights for a little extra magic!

Theme Elements: Purpose-Create repetition, set the overall look. Can be an actual theme such as cardinals, santas, angels, etc. A color theme-red, white, blue, green, gold, etc. Or even a feeling-natural, romantic, traditional.

Topper: Purpose-Crowning glory of tree, creates starting point. Light branches, star, bow, angel, floral picks, wreath, **If you change nothing else freshen your topper** Base: Purpose-Weights the bottom and anchors the look. Tree stand, tree skirt, fabric, figurines, even wrapped gifts or a festive train.

#1: Start with your largest ball ornaments tucked deep into the branches. This step may seem unimportant, but adds a very essential element! If you don’t have any large ornaments this size (think cantaloupe) invest in some to use for years to come.

They are used to fill the holes on the bottom of the tree and to reflect light. #2: Wrap your diagonal element into the tree to add movement. Garlands and/or ribbon are perfect for this step. Tuck them into the tree so they don’t cover up the ornaments. #3: Now create the structure of the tree by adding florals and or picks. This step adds so much softness, fullness and personality to the tree. Simply changing out your florals and picks can completely change the look and feel of your tree. You can apply these items in a few ways.

The standard way is to kind of tuck your picks/florals into the tree wherever you see a blank spot. There is nothing wrong with this approach, but I like to use a different approach that really adds a lot of balance to the tree.

I call this the “Diamond Technique”. Every girl loves diamonds and your tree does too! To create the diamond on your tree, start with a pick or floral at the top, then place another 2 pieces below and to the sides of the top one. Place the bottom point directly beneath the top and viola’! You have a diamond! To create harmony all over the tree, simply connect your diamonds to create a harlequin pattern.

Another way to really add wow factor is found in one of my Designer trademarks. The “Tree Bouquet” is a custom arrangement consisting of a blend of florals, picks, and/or ribbon that you can custom design for your tree in order to give the tree a focal point. These tree bouquets can also be used to create your 24 diamond pattern described above.

#4: This is the step where we actually hang most of our ornaments and filler pieces. There are a few tips to remember here. First, try to distribute your ornaments so the colors and different textures are uniformly distributed. Hang smaller ornaments up top and on the tips and the larger ornaments lower, deeper, and nestled on the branches. Make sure you have different shaped ornaments. All ball ornaments make the tree look almost goofy. Different shapes add dimension and interest. #5: This is where you tackle the topper. Now you can put your topper on at any point, but I have found I always end up re-adjusting it at the end anyways, so I just save it for last. The topper is another area that you can easily update to really makeover your tree. The topper needs to balance the rest of the tree. Get creative and brainstorm ways to update what you currently use. If you have a favorite angel, consider tying a big bow to go at her base with tendrils winding down. Branches and florals with light sticks added in can really light up the top, a star can be nestled under a big bow, a wreath can be wired onto the top, or you can even add a Snowman or Santa hat to cap off a themed tree. So many options!

The final elements for your tree are the “finishing touches”. These are items such as vertical garlands or ribbon tails, icicles, or branch clips. These items are meant to go on the very tips or outside of the tree and really complete the look. I love to play around with fun and fanciful finishing touches as the branch tips are often forgotten areas on the tree!

Now that we have covered all of the different materials, techniques, and application tips, I encourage you to take some time to plan out your tree for this year! If you are looking for even more ideas, pictures, and inspiration, then please check out my new book launching this year titled “The Christmas Tree Book” by Cassie Kitzmiller.

Inside you can find countless ideas to get you inspired to design your best-looking Christmas tree ever!

You. Do. Not. Have. The. Time!

We wish we did. We have plans and dreams and goals and things we want to do...but we can’t do it all on our own, we simply don’t have the time.That’s why it’s about multiplication When you bless work out, you multiply what you are able to accomplish.

When you collaborate strategically, you multiply how much you can accomplish.

When you stay in your lane and do what God designed you for and allow someone else to stay in their lane and live out what God has placed on them...your efforts are multiplied.

You don’t have the time for 1 + 1. Think multiplication and get help.

AM I BROKEN? The stigma of depression in the church - a personal journey

By: Dottie Mobley

For too long there has been a negative stigma concerning those who suffer with depression in the church. Woman of God, I have heard everything: “Well am I not a Christian? Christians don’t struggle with depression!” How about this one: “Am I not ‘Christian’ enough?” “Maybe I just need to pray more or read my bible more or listen to more praise and worship music.” If this has sounded like you hear me when I say, “NO, NO, NO! STOP!” I have said all these things to myself as well. Those lies have caused people to not seek help when it is necessary. There have been suicides from pastors in the church because of this.

We have to realize that sometimes depression is truly a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Sometimes depression is situational. But If you had diabetes, would you not go to the doctor to get help with treatment and insulin? The same with depression. You have a part of your body that is not working perfectly as it should. Acknowledge there is a problem, so the light of Christ can shine in that dark place.

Then seek help.

27

MY JOURNEY WITH DEPRESSION BEGAN AROUND 2011.

There were many situations that led up to this. Part of this was because my body went through some major physical changes which had an impact on some chemical changes in my body. See my body does not absorb nutrients and water quite like the next healthy person. To keep this story short, in 2016, I found myself pregnant, and living in a new small town with postpartum depression.

I had a lot of time to think, and plenty of time for negative thoughts to begin.

Loneliness began to settle. And then suicidal thoughts became so overwhelming everyday.

Not long after those thoughts I came to a crossroads. I had two options:

focused on Christ. Everyday, I write a gratitude list. As for the negative thoughts that I have, I have began to notice them, “...and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Jesus began showing me that there is power in community because He never meant for us to do life alone. We are not made to sit with depression fighting alone in our homes. We are not created to seclude ourselves from the rest of the world. It is not weakness to admit and ask for help. Christ says, “...bare in each others burdens...”, “...in the same way you have been comforted, you are to provide that same comfort to others...”. If you have overcome a challenge, there is someone on

Check myself into a mental rehab OR

this earth that God will send to provide a word of hope, life, and healing. We are to love, help, comfort, and speak life into one

Immediately start in some sort of

another on this side of eternity. It may be a

program and counseling

short season. It may be a long season.

TIn spite of those negative stigmas and lies I

Beautiful woman of God, stop believing the

had thought above, I decided to get help. I

lie that Christians do not struggle with

immediately began attending a 12 Step

depression. God’s word says there is a season

Christ-Centered Recovery Program. It is for

to rejoice and a season to mourn. Christians

anyone with a hurt, hangup, or habit. Jesus,

go through seasons of life-mountains and

through Celebrate Recovery and counseling,

valleys! Stop believing “I’m not Christian

gave my life back.

enough”. If you need help, ask for help. Do not suffer alone. There is hope! His name is

Do I still struggle with depression? Yes, I do!

Jesus and He will be your guide! He will

But I have learned coping skills to manage. I

provide comfort. He will provide people to

study how some of those in God’s word

walk with you along the journey-friends, co-

handled being overwhelmed with emotion. I

workers, pastors, a community, doctors,

started learning the importance of what the

counselors, those in programs like Celebrate

Bible calls, “renew your mind”. Whatever

Recovery. If you feel like you need to see a

things are, “lovely, pure, just, upright...-think

doctor, pray the one you sign up with is God

on these things”. Having a heart of gratitude

ordained. The worst thing you can do is sit

and thankfulness for all the blessings, no

and do nothing suffering alone and secluding

matter how small, helps to keep my mind and

yourself.

There is hope in Jesus. God gifts people like doctors with those talents to help people. Emotions are a gift from the Lord. They provide warning signs that says “something’s not right.” And that is when you need to dig deeper. Search and find a Celebrate Recovery closest to you: https://www.celebraterecovery.com/ If you need immediate help, contact your closest emergency room and/or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at : 1-800-273-8255.

Meet Dottie Mobley! She is a chocolate, coffee, and dog loving mom of two girls! Her purpose is to serve faith-filled, women entrepreneurs through her businesses: D Marie Virtual Assistant Services, LLC and Christian Women Abundant Business. She believes in using her virtual assistant and social media graphic skills to uplevel faith-filled women's businesses! See more at www.dmarievaservices.com and join her facebook group to get involved in authentic christian women community building. A place where faithpreneurs become more than business partners! A place to create lasting friendships through business. https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenabundantbusiness/

A Girl's Guide To: God

Launches 2020

A GIRL'S GUIDE TO:

GOD

AMy story isn’t new, unique or extraordinary. It is actually quite ordinary and all too familiar to women. Girl with daddy issues meets man…many, actually. Whether in her personal or professional life, she works hard for acceptance and approval but never finds it. Just glimpses here and there. Words that appease or actions that may meet the immediate need for recognition come in spurts but she remains wounded. Scarred. Always trying to outperform or be good enough for the affection she craves but consistently falls short.

Why she believes the acceptance is necessary, even vital, is based on cultural as well as religious conditioning. Years of trying to figure out why the message she is being told does not align with how she feels about herself or about other girls she knows.

WHY ARE THERE LIMITS FOR GIRLS AND NOT FOR BOYS? WHY IS “LIKE A GIRL” A DEROGATORY TERM?

Janet Taylor is exploring a new season of life. She is President /Co-founder of BECOME and Becoming Truly Liberated. Being a redeemed follower of Christ fuels all that she does as a daughter, sister, mother, and grandmother.

For such a time as this.

31

I wish I could say that this insecurity is completely healed in my life. I know that healing is available. I know that I am not where I used to be when it comes to acceptance. I know that it is my hope to be completely healed and whole, no longer feeling the stings of rejection but until that time, I will walk out this life in anticipation of what I see in the Word. I have a lifetime of wounds and unmet expectations. I am not in despair nor dismayed because I have the hope that only comes from my relationship with God through Christ and live each day with the Holy Spirit. It is not that this life I long for is not available to me, it is. Unfortunately for me and for those closest to me, I do not always choose to stay aligned to the Holy Spirit. It is a choice. God does not force this freedom onto anyone yet it is available to everyone.

THE DEEPER THE WOUNDS, THE DEEPER THE HEALING AND THE LONGER IT TAKES FOR SOME OF US. Without submitting my natural tendencies to the Holy Spirit and how I am instructed… prompted… prodded to respond to people or events, my tongue is harmful. Very harmful. Sarcastic. Quick retorts.

Judgmental. My daughters call it “the face”. I had an employer once tell me I could make someone feel “too stupid to live”. That is not now nor has ever been my intent. I nervously joke about it – “Well if the shoe fits,” but I really do not mean that. You will hear me quite often say, “Why would anyone give me that much power?” After years of working through it and recognizing when it happens, I realize it is actually my confused-and-trying-to-process-what-just-happened face.

That does not make it any less offensive to the person on the receiving end. I have spent years digging out why. Going deep into the root so I can understand myself better and how to turn reactions and defense mechanisms into encouraging words and support.

BUT STILL I DON’T ALWAYS WALK IN VICTORY THAT GOD HAS FOR ME. I cannot change what I did in the past, or what I believed in the past about myself, about others and most especially about what the Bible teaches about me as woman. I have been deceived. Not because I am a woman but because I am a human being created for relationship with the Creator who loves me but hated by an enemy that only wishes to kill, steal and destroy that relationship. I can only move forward with new mercies and grace each day. I have sought forgiveness for those I have hurt in the past. Some have forgiven me. Others have not. They have their own journeys to walk. It is painful to watch what unforgiveness does to a person. It is more painful for those who have not yet forgiven to experience the ongoing pain of the hurt. I understand that as I was once walking that same road of bitterness and unforgiveness. Perhaps you are there now.

BECOMING TRULY LIBERATED I have been wrestling with writing this book and others for many years. I started writing under Truly Liberated almost 20 years ago. I am not an expert. I am not a theologian. I am not as victorious as I know I can be but I have been dedicated to finding the truth about how God sees women for many years. I am confused by our culture and many religious leaders with their insistence in teaching contrary to what I see so clearly in the words of the Bible. The ideology of the patriarchy is not consistent with the scriptures of the Bible. Still, God loves me right where I am in the messy brokenness and imperfection of walking this salvation out. Even though I still struggle with many of the same issues, I am not where I started. Lots of stops and starts – distraction, rebellion, disobedience. Just as the scriptures warns me to not look in the mirror, see my problems then walk away forgetting what I just saw, I still do that at times.

WHO AM I TO WRITE THIS BOOK? WHO IS GOING TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER YET? WHO DO I THINK I AM? These are the voices that have long been battling in my mind but this time there is a sense of urgency. This time God is revealing the ripple effect for me, for my loved ones and the world around me showing me what will happen if I continue to ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit.

I asked God, “Why am I writing this book? What do you want me to say? What is important to tell women like me? People like me? People who seem to start to walk in victory with you only to be deceived and distracted again. Over and over. To know the goodness, the potential, the amazing grace that is offered by having this unfathomable personal relationship with you, my Creator and my Redeemer. You came and walked among us to fulfill the requirement to bring humanity back in to right standing with you. Only your holy blood could wash away the actions of humanity – our rebellion. Our sin. I can be so foolish. I can be so stubborn. I can be so rebellious. What can I tell others that would matter?”

He answered, “The truth.”

Pressing forward toward the goal of God’s high calling to be an ambassador of mercy and grace, I have written A Girl’s Guide to God. Becoming Truly Liberated in a World of Lies by the Patriarchy. It is an easy to follow guide in exploring the foundational Biblical truths I have discovered on my personal journey from bondage to freedom as a woman in this ever changing world.

Christmas Look: Classic Smokey Eye

By: Aimee Ebert

34

It's the holiday season and with that comes Christmas and New Year’s parties! It’s one of my favorite times of year, but while you may be dreaming of a White Christmas, I’m dreaming of that perfect smokey eye to rock at those parties!Don’t let the smoke intimidate you! I’ll let you in on the secret to rocking that classic look… It’s confidence!

Ok, ok! You also need a flawless blend, but follow these steps and you’ll get a great looking smokey eye for your parties. Another great tip is to use warm tones nudes as your transition colors instead of all grays and black.

This softens the look and makes it much more wearable and approachable.

Step 1. After priming your eyelid, swipe a cream colored shadow over the entire lid, from lash line to brow.

Step 2. With a blending brush start applying a warm mid-tone neutral into the crease with circular motions. Apply form the outer corner all the way into the inner corner. *Tip for those with hooded eyes: make sure to blend that color up onto the brow bone as it tricks the eye into thinking it's more receded.)

Step 3. With a small, flat eyeshadow brush start applying a good quality black eyeshadow (I use “Dial it Black” from LimeLife by Alcone) by pressing it onto your lower lids near the lash line and up to your natural crease. Don’t swipe! You want that black to be deep and dark and swiping with move too much of it around. Dip back into the black and build up the layers until you achieve the darkness you want.

Step 4. Grab that blending brush and start blending right on the crease line and bring it up slightly onto the brow bone. Don’t go up too high, you want that warm nude to peak out still.

Step 5. *Optional* Take a dark charcoal shimmer and pat it over the black with your finger tip.

Step 6. Take the black or the charcoal shimmer and, with a small pointed brush, apply right into and below your lower lash line.

Step 7. Blend, baby! Blend!! The trick to the lower lash line is BLENDING. When you think you’re done, blend some more. Blend until it’s soft and there are no harsh lines where your shadow stops.

Step 8. Black eyeliner in the water line and smudged into the upper lash line. I like to line underneath my top lash line (that’s called tight lining) to really thicken up my lash line. I use LimeLife

by Alcone’s Enduring Eyeliner in Black since it's both waterproof, smudgeproof and safe for sensitive eyes.

Step 9. Mascara! You’re almost done! Slap some mascara on your upper and lower lashes. *TIp: Turn your wand up and down instead of sideways for your lower lashes and wiggle it back and forth to coat your lashes. You’ll get a much cleaner application without it smudging all over your lower eyelid.

Step 10. *Optional* Apply some false lashes for extra drama! The ones pictured are from The Lab Cosmetics Step 11. Grab a light, shimmery eyeshadow or highlighter and apply a little to the very inner corner of your eye. Blend a little under the arch of your eyebrow on your brow bone.

Step 12. Rock your smokey eyes with confidence! If you’re feeling bold, throw on a red or berry colored lip. Nude lips work great with smokey eyes too!Have a blessed and wonderful Christmas season!

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, sometimes we just need help seeing it. Beauty is in all of us, and I love helping women recognize theirs. I show women how they can use makeup to express who they are while accentuating the beauty they were created with.But above all, my purpose is helping women find their worth and identity in Christ, as daughters of the King Most High, so they can love themselves like Jesus loves them.

5 Outfits for free!

Hello fellow Crown Rockers! Hope you are feeling fabulous! Some days, it is definitely a struggle to feel the fab. Some days, we get so worked up or worried about things that we really don’t even need to worry about … that we can’t find our fab.

Money, or lack there of, is typically our biggest worry. Can you relate? Most everyone really feels the pinch this time of year.

With the change in seasons, most people want to add new pieces to their wardrobe. You know, because we have “nothing to wear”. Many of us are not likely to spend money on new clothes when we are worried about having enough to cover the utilities, rent, groceries, and such.

Plus, we have gifts to buy for others now!

In previous articles I talked about making outfits and actually wearing your good clothes instead of saving them. I want to go more in depth about how to do this and give you a few more ideas. I am going to help you shop for yourself without spending a dime. How many new outfits would you like, Hun?

Let’s go through your closet and make you five new outfits.

37

O U T F I T

# 1

Find the piece that you never wear. You know the one… every time you clean out your closet you come across it and say “I know I haven’t worn this in the past year, but I might wear it.”Take that piece and put it on a hanger. If it’s a top, then lay out all your pants and skirts on your bed and hold your top over each one.

Select the bottom that you think looks the best and put it on the hanger with your top. If the piece you never wear is pants or a skirt, then hold it up to every top in your closet and pick one. We aren’t done with this outfit yet, we need to accessorize, My Dear!

Find the perfect necklace and bracelet if you wear them, maybe a scarf is what you choose. Now place your accessories over the hanger too. Hang your outfit in your closet, you can select your earrings, shoes, and bag when you pull the outfit to wear it

Great job! You are actually going to wear this now, you are probably excited about it too!

O U T F I T

# 2

Let’s use the season for inspiration. Search online for winter photos, when you find one that is extra beautiful put an outfit together using the colors from the photo. It probably has white in it, don’t worry… nothing bad will happen if you wear white after Labor Day. White is a neutral color that can be worn in any season. Let’s just say that you chose a snow-covered evergreen tree with some blue sky for your inspirational photo. That would give you dark green, brown, blue and white for your outfit colors. You probably wouldn’t normally wear that color combination, but let’s see what happens! Let’s start with the bottoms, pick a pair of jeans or other pants that are blue (they don’t need to be sky blue, the photo is just for inspiration). Now what can you find for tops? Do you have a green top and brown vest or cardigan?

Maybe you have a green or brown button-up top or light jacket you could wear open like a cardigan. You must have a white pearl necklace or white scarf somewhere to finish your outfit. Do you have an emerald green necklace? Choose white and brown for your top/cardigan combo. Now, put everything on one hanger and place your new outfit in your closet.

You are really getting the hang of this. You have two new outfits now!

O U T F I T

# 3

Let’s actually wear something from the dress clothes that you save for special occasions. I pronounce tomorrow as “Special Occasion Day”… there, now you can wear your dress clothes! Dressing down fancy clothes might be scary for some of you. You may have to try this outfit on so you can see how awesome it looks on you. Here we go, pick an item that you have stashed in your dress clothes that you never wear. I’m so excited for your new outfit! What did you pick? Did you pick a cocktail dress? That’s perfect, now we are going to dress it down a little bit. Do you have a sweater to put on over it… quit arguing with me, of course you can wear those together… try it on… looks like a skirt and sweater… see, I told you it would look good!

Maybe you have a sweater cardigan, or light jacket that would look good with it, try them all on. If it’s cold where you live, throw on some tights or leggings. Don’t forget your accessories!Maybe you picked a blazer, roll up the sleeves and find a T-shirt (even a graphic T) and jeans to pair with it. Don’t forget to add the perfect necklace. If you wear bracelets, big chunky or layered bracelets look amazing with this outfit!If you picked a dressy button-up top you can roll up the sleeves and also pair this with T-shirt and jeans.

Leave the top unbuttoned. Tuck it, tie it, or just leave it untucked like a cardigan. Don’t like that? OK, button up the top and layer a vest or sleeveless top over it. Is that more your style?

Wow! Look at you… actually wearing the clothes in your closet. It’s a special day!

40

O U T F I T

# 4

Let’s start this outfit using an accessory for inspiration. Find a colorful necklace, patterned scarf or multi colored shoes that you don’t reach for very often and build your outfit from the colors in this item. The colors may not be what you would normally wear together, don’t worry, it will all tie together when you put on your accessory. You may have to pull everything that you have in these colors and lay them out on your bed.

Now, start putting your outfit together. You can just use two or three colors from your accessory, or be bold and mix four or more colors. Fun, isn’t it, you had no idea that you had so many things to wear with it!

Now that you are pretty much like a pro at this, let’s try something a little more difficult.

O U T F I T

# 5

We are going to start this outfit with a piece that you love, but don’t wear because it doesn’t fit quite right… let’s figure out a way to make it work. If the item is pants that are too small… I can’t help you with that, pick something else! Pants that are too big… wear a belt and loose tunic to cover the “extra fabric bulk”. That was too easy, give me something tougher. Top that is too short? Find a cami, tank, or T-shirt to layer under it. Don’t tuck the undershirt, use it to extend the length of your top. Try some different colors and fabrics. If your top is a solid color, try a patterned undershirt. You can also wear a button-up top for the undershirt.Button up top that puckers over your chest or doesn’t button anymore at all? I have several of those! Leave it unbuttoned and wear it as a cardigan. Do you have a light jacket that doesn’t zip? Same thing, wear it as an open cardigan. You probably spent a lot of money on it… so wear the darn thing!

Maybe you have a top that is too big but the color looks amazing on you. Let’s figure out a way to make it work. You probably already tried tucking it in or wearing a belt over it to give you a more flattering shape. Gather the fabric together until it looks good and tie the extra fabric into a knot, or use a hair tie to hold your knot. Try the knot on the side instead of the front. Is it a spaghetti strap top or tank that keeps falling off your shoulders? Use a barrette to clip the straps together in the back.

Find a way to wear the piece that you love, and make an outfit with it.

Tracie Ritz: Not a fashion expert, just an amazing person that loves clothes!

T H E R E ,

F I V E

N E W

O U T F I T S

just from shopping in your own closet! You can repeat any of them over and over until you have all your bottoms made into outfits and hanging in your closet ready to go. It does take some time to start doing this, but think about how much time this will save you in the morning‌ just grab an outfit and get ready! It also gives you more space in your closet because you have two or three things on just one hanger.I hope you try some of these ideas and feel fabulous wearing your new outfits that you had all along!

EMOTIONAL EATING OVER THE HOLIDAYS By: Theresa Horne

44

Maintaining our healthy lifestyle during the Holiday season may take extra effort but it is worth it in the big picture of our overall health. One holiday struggle is emotional eating.I like to divide the reasons we eat into three categories: Physical hunger, Social expectations, and emotional reasons.

Physiological hunger always has a physical manifestation. Some signs of hunger include hunger pangs, stomach growling, headache, feeling weak, grumpy, etc. Physical hunger does not go away unless you eat. It can be delayed, ignored and denied but it is still there.

The social expectation is another reason we eat. Social eating is the eating that is expected in social situations such as work, parties, celebrations, gatherings. There can be a great deal of extra social pressure to eat this time of year. Social eating is, in fact, eating as a result of peer pressure.

The last category is emotional eating. Emotional eating is the most difficult to manage and the most challenging to give a framework. Emotional eating is eating that does not come from physical hunger or social expectations.

I talk about emotional eating a lot in my work with clients on creating a healthy lifestyle. I believe it is a topic that we don’t address in our diet culture of skinny now and instant gratification. Most of our decisions are tied to our emotions. Marketers know that and prey on our emotions when they package, market and design our food culture.

Addressing emotional eating means looking at the emotions tied to why I want to eat. What am I really hungry for? Why do I really want chocolate? If, I really just want chocolate, then let’s go get a really good piece of chocolate. Sit down without distractions. Eat a little chocolate and maybe share some with someone you enjoy. Make it an experience and don’t buy a lot. Then call it done and walk away.

If I can’t do that then it might not just be chocolate that I am craving. Maybe it’s intimacy, maybe it’s a true connection, maybe it’s relaxation. If I am craving these things and I have never connected with those emotions all I know is that food is soothing and that soothed feeling is what I am seeking, not the actual food.

In her book ”Eat What you Love, Love What you Eat”, Michelle May, M.D says “When a craving doesn’t come from hunger, eating will never satisfy it”.So if I start eating when I am not physically hungry, how do I know when to stop? When I am sick and stuffed? How often have you found yourself there?

Here are a few tips I have found helpful with emotional eating.

1) Pray and seek God as you grow in the management of your temple and health.

Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way[d] and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul is prospering. 3 John 1:2God wants to restore us to health. Ask Him for help and guidance.

2) Determine your triggers.

Some of us have times of day that trigger emotional eating. My clients often struggle with 2 pm-4 pm in the day and 7 pm-9 pm. Once you have identified your trigger times you can build a strategy to help with that time.

3) Be accountable for what you are eating.

Journaling and tracking your food is absolutely a game-changer. My clients almost always resist it but the reason they resist only magnifies the need to do it.

Tracking what you eat, how you move and how you feel in response to the combination is information that can be tremendously valuable.

You need to be the lead detective in your health investigation. Gather the facts!Eating is a part of building and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The holidays do bring an extra challenge but we are overcomers! When we are mindful of the reasons we eat we can enjoy the holidays in connection with our goals for balance.

Theresa Horne is a Certified Personal Trainer -National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM), Fitness Nutrition Specialist (NASM) and owner of Sisterhood of Strong where she coaches her clients in creating the habits of holistic health by eliminating barriers to living a healthy lifestyle.

Follow https://www.facebook.com/sisterhoodofstrong/ andhttps://www.instagram.com/sisterhoodofstrong/

Give the Gift of Healthy Love for Christmas...and Beyond

Want to give your spouse a gift that will keep on giving beyond Christmas Day? Then give the gift of healthy romantic love. How? I am so glad you asked!

In an article entitled “The 3 Core Skills that Every Person Needs for Healthy Romantic Relationships” Dr. Joanne Davila has identified 3 skills for healthy romantic love: Insight, Mutuality and Emotional Regulation. What is so exciting is that all three of these skills are skills we are called to practice in our Christian lives!

Insight:

According to Dr. Davila Insight also means knowing

This is about knowing yourself, knowing what your

the consequences, negative or positive that my

wants and needs and motivations; it is also knowing

behavior will have upon my relationship. So, If my

your partner’s wants and needs. I Peter 3:7 tells

wife makes me breakfast, and brings it to me in my

husbands to “dwell with your wives according to

office while I am working (because she knows I have

knowledge”; this implies understanding their wives’

not eaten all morning) and I say “Thank you babe… I

needs and wants. Wives are told to submit to or serve

was just thinking ‘ I am so hungry!” I know that this

their husbands in love (Ephesians 5:22). To serve

will nurture feelings of appreciation both in me and

anyone effectively requires insight into their needs

in her. However, if I say to Karen ‘Why did you bring

and wants.

this to me now…can’t you see I am working! I don’t have time to eat this!” This will likely elicit feelings of hurt, irritability or even anger.

47

Knowing the likely consequences of your actions can

See the problem? You didn’t ask for what you really

help you determine the best course of action to take.

needed or wanted. You were indirect and vague. Here

Proverbs 4:26 gives us some instruction in how we can

is the direct and clear way to ask: “I am really feeling

develop this insight. “Ponder the path of your feet and

nervous about my presentation tonight. Would go with

let all your ways be established.” This type of Insight

me? Just seeing you there will help me feel more

means making an investment of times for quiet

comfortable and confident. Will you go with me and be

reflection and contemplation of one’s actions and

my emotional support?” When we are vague and

behaviors. But trust me - this investment of time will

indirect, we often feel and think (if our spouse doesn’t

pay huge dividends in your relationship!

get it) “Well if they really loved me they would just know!”

Mutuality Mutuality is knowing that both you and your partner

This requires mind reading – and really doesn’t work.

has needs and wants and that both of your needs and

Practicing mutuality is the key to getting our needs

wants matter. What does the Bible say? Philippians 2:4

met and meeting the needs of our spouse.

says “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests but also for the interests of others” This is

Emotional Regulation:

mutuality!

Emotional regulation is the ability to choose what you will feel in response to an event happening in your

Dr. Davila in her article tells us that mutuality also

relationship. How do we do that? One way is to

means “Being able to convey your own needs and

mentally rehearse the response you want to have in

wants in a clear, direct fashion; this increases the

relationship to your spouse.

likelihood of will get them met”. Being clear and direct means asking specifically for what you want or need -

In the early years of my marriage sexual intimacy was

not being indirect or vague about it.

a huge difficulty due to the sexual abuse my wife Karen experienced as a child. She hated sex and didn’t

For instance, let’s say you have a presentation to give

want to be touched. Of course as a new husband I was

and you feel nervous about it. You would like your

greatly frustrated and would get angry. I would get out

spouse to go with you for emotional support. So you

of bed and go downstairs and pray until I felt better

say to your spouse “Would you like to go with me to

and then go back to bed.

my presentation?” and your spouse says “No”. Then you get upset “They don’t love me, they never support me!

I am always there for them -they are never there for me!”

This happened many times. One night after this

Research tells us that using these 3 skills creates

happened, while I was again in prayer I felt like the

greater experiences of comfort, security, and better

Lord put on my heart “Don’t jump out of bed due to

mental health. It creates healthier people and

anger again” I thought “God…how?”

consequently healthier relationships.So this Christmas -give the gift of healthy love by being more insightful,

KAnd I was reminded of what I had been learning

exercising more mutuality and practicing emotional

about renewing my mind through mental rehearsal. So

regulation. It is a gift that will keep on giving!

each day I began practice responding to Karen with calmness, and peace, kissing her on the cheek and saying “It’s okay”. I rehearsed this over and over and over for weeks. One night as I reached for her she turned from me again. This time rather than getting upset I responded calmly…with peace! I kissed her on the cheek and say “It’s okay” I was amazed! I responded exactly as I had rehearsed! Years later after we had overcome this problem, I asked when it changed for her. She said, “When you stopped getting out of bed angry” Wow! Emotional regulation (and the wisdom of God) saved the day!

Mike Davis, also known as “The Emotional Success Coach”, is an author, speaker, corporate trainer and pastor. He has a doctorate degree in first century Christianity in It’s Jewish Context from the Centre for the Study of Biblical Research, Division of Graduate Studies. As an Emotional Success Coach Mike’s -goal0is4to help - people make their emotions their ally rather than their enemy in the pursuit of their goals so that they can live the life of their dreams.

nd ad: a o r l b n 3/ ow 6 d b t 6 n d ta

44 3 f c /63 p m hi. c l i /ma ok / : s http ity-ebo nt -ide your  t e G

ins