The Everyday Crown Rocker Magazine October Issue 2019

UNSEEN

editor's note The best part of my job is the moment at which the magazine comes together and I at last can hear its heartbeat. That glorious moment when the articles find their order, the magazine has a voice and pace and sound and it comes alive. In a single moment, in a burst of brilliance, the magazine takes it's first breathe and explodes into life!

GRATITUDE does that for our souls!

Gratitude is the thing that gets our hearts beating again in the midst of trauma, in the daily chaos and in the scares, fears and triumphs of our lives. Gratitude is the set of jumper cables we need to breathe again, to find our voice again and truly start to live a life that matters.

My prayer is that this is the kind of gratitude you embrace; the hope in an abundant, limitless God that has the power to breathe new life into you!

Jasmine Tosseth-Smith

editor in chief

the voices 46

32 ANDREW DITTMER 6

TRACIE RITZ 14

KELLY RAMSEY 10

86

93

THE FAITHFUL MERCHANT 15

CHELSEA ZELENYFLORO 16

124

99 AUTUMN HOOVER 22

AIMEE EBERT 12

DANI WASHINGTON 25

BRANDON GALICI 28

the voices 32

38

46

MIKE DAVIS 31

LATARA VENISE 33

ASHLEY SAULS 35

86

93

DAPHNE PETTIS 40

MICHAL SLATE 42

THERESA HORNE 46

GRATITEA 48

CLAIRE WINSON 38

99 JANEL WOODSON 44

BEWARE

THE NIGHT BEAST Darkness came over the land. The beast was slumbering...

By Andrew Dittmer

The Knight and Fair Lady prepared for battle for they knew the beast would soon wake.

The beast was neither large nor strong, but it could destroy a couple of adults with its powers. ‘We must rest before it wakes.’ said Knight.

They were barely into their first dream when the beast stirred and squeaked. Knight shot out of bed to prepare the white serum. The correct ratios and temperature were crucial. The mixture could be used to sedate the beast — for up to a few hours.

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The squeak became a screech. Knight heard Fair Lady stepping towards the beast, alone and unarmed. The screech became a shriek.

Knight bolted back to Fair Lady, unsure if the serum had been fully prepared. He had no choice — He met her at the foot of its cave and handed over the serum.

‘Good luck’ he whispered and retreated back to bed.

They didn’t dare to both face the beast at once. It was far too risky.

From the soft bed, Knight heard the shrieks stop. He must have gotten the mixture right. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. The next watch would be his.

After a moment of unconsciousness, Knight woke and cupped his ear. Growl… growl... He looked at the clock.

Surely the serum hadn’t worn off already. The beast belched, then became silent. He knew Fair lady had won the round. He drifted back to sleep before she returned — unscathed but depleted.

Another rumble and another grumble woke Knight and Fair Lady. ‘Noooo! Already?’ said Fair Lady looking at the clock. Knight knew the serum would be a useless weapon this time. He grabbed another implement - one designed to block the strength-zapping sounds from escaping the beast’s mouth.

He crept to the cave, lunged at the beast and shoved the implement into its mouth. He held it for a few seconds.

Its eyes closed over, powerless against this weapon.

‘Got ya!’ said Knight. He swivelled and strutted back in the dark, pumping his fist. But at the foot of the cave, he struck one of the beast’s belongings. Squeak! The beast woke, thrashing and wailing. The Knight felt his strength being sucked dry. He rummaged through his inventory and fumbled through their battle plan in his mind. It was no use. All the steps were muddled.

Everything he tried made the beast louder and louder.

At last, he crumbled on the floor. Done for.

The sound of footsteps was sweet music. Fair lady swooped in and performed magic techniques on the beast. She had been born with this magic inside her.

Knight had begged her to teach him this magic — but the magic was unteachable.

Within minutes, the beast was still and silent, but now both Knight and Fair Lady were weak. They staggered back to bed, closed their eyes and replenished their strength.

The screeches started again. Knight and fair lady sprang out of bed. ‘I’ve got this.’ said Knight.

‘Don’t forget you’ve got to be at the gold mine in a few hours’ said Fair Lady. The mine seemed of little importance compared to the battle raging before them.

‘Is the mercenary coming tomorrow?’ said Knight ‘Due at eleven.’ she said.

Knight returned to bed and left his fair lady battling alone once again.

The rising sun made things feel better. The knight looked at Fair Lady and they shared a smile. Another successful night.

The beast was gurgling and giggling. They rolled their eyes and leapt out of bed. Knight picked up the beast, gave him a big cuddle and flew him around the room like an eagle. The beast squealed and beamed. In an instant, the battles were forgotten.

‘Well, I’m off to work sweet heart’ said the knight. He gave Fair Lady a kiss. ‘What time’s your mom coming?’

‘Eleven’ she said.

‘Good, she’ll give you a rest.’ And she did.

When Knight returned from the mine, darkness came over the land. The beast was slumbering. Knight and Fair Lady prepared for battle for they knew the beast would soon wake.

THE END

DECEMBER 2019 | ISSUE 124

Being a new parent can be tough. Real tough. I remember thinking ‘What’s wrong with me? Why does it take all my energy just to scrape through the day and flop into bed at 7:30pm? And I knew I had the easier job. My wife was the one doing the hard yards. I so badly wanted to help but many times but I felt powerless because there were some things I wasn’t good at and some things I just couldn’t do. I couldn’t produce milk no matter how hard I tried. (Don’t worry, I didn’t try very hard) But even through the fog, there were moments to get us through. A smile here. A giggle there. A little hand grabbing a pinky or a stretch of peaceful sleep that gave us just enough energy to cope with the next onslaught.

I also want to encourage you not to lose sight of the value and importance of the job you’re doing. You are caring for a little one whom God created and has infinite love for. Although you don’t always hear the following verse in this context, I believe when you get to heaven, you’ll hear Jesus say; “... ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it for me.’” Matthew 25:40 NIV So if you’re finding it tough, hang in there. Even though it may not sound appealing, a difficult season is a chance to grow.

When you look back, you’ll realise you are able to cope with more than you thought.

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:4 NIV Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. My wife was hesitant to ask me to do things because she didn’t want to burden me with them. But that’s actually what I was longing to do. It would actually charge me up when I had ways to contribute and it made me feel like I was fulfilling my purpose.

So if you have a partner or friend or family member, try telling them what you need. They’re probably more keen to help than you realize.

Anyway, I hope this little story gave you a smile. Focus on the lovely moments. Those brief moments when your little one stops screaming and looks lovingly into your eyes or sleeps peacefully in your arms. My wife and I often looked through photos of our little one after a tough day. Just seeing that cute face brought us so much joy.

I salute you for the noble, vital and challenging job you’re doing.

Keep it up!

Andrew is an Australian writer of children’s stories. His first story Snuffy is planned to be published as a picture book later this year (2019). You can purchase Snuffy as an audio story on iTunes, Google Play or Amazon or listen to it free if you sign up to the Blobfish Books email list at https://www.blobfishbooks.net

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Gratitude is an act

By: Kelly Ramsey

Moving from a place of gratitude is where we turn our focus this month. Let’s define what we mean as gratitude. Gratitude is an act of pausing and remembering what’s going right in the day. It is the unopened flower that we see unfold before our eyes, and seeing the details of every petal, stem, and pistil. Gratitude is a choice. It is focused thanks for those who are around us and those who bring us joy. Sometimes gratitude takes on the form of a lesson we learn as we watch our children play and negotiate new rules. Gratitude becomes our focus when we are overwhelmed and need to re-center ourselves on what matters most. It is the warmth of the hot tea at the end of a rough day. It is the silence in the house once all the bedtime battles have ceased and you sit on the couch and take in a deep breath and thank God for the moment of silence. It is the unexpected kindness your son shows to his brother, that demonstrates that they were actually listening to all the lessons you repeated. Gratitude is remembering our why and creating a reason to try again.

“Mindfulness in giving thanks keeps us present and in the moment, focusing on the things that matter most”.

When I look up the definition of gratitude in the dictionary I see the words, the state of being grateful. When I close my eyes to imagine what gratitude looks like I see images of a man smiling as I hand him a bottle of water, of the baby as I begin to feed her the bottle she has been longing for, the silent thank you that’s displayed with a nod or a look your way. Gratitude is breathing in and out and taking it all in. For me, gratitude is represented in my journal on my bedside where I write one thanks for the day that has been well spent.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful” Ralph Waldo Emerson Practicing the habit of gratitude is a first step to changing your mindset and focusing on what’s going right. A daily habit of gratitude can change your perspective during challenging times. To simply practice gratitude, begin with one thing you want to give thanks for. Keep it simple and practice it regularly.

Everyday we can pause to reflect on what we are grateful for. Create a photo collage showing one thing you are grateful for each day. At the end of the month you will have a memoir to represent how you demonstrate love.

Here’s an exercise on gratitude to start you on your journey or reignite your focus on being grateful. Create your own acronym using the word GRATITUDE. Here’s mine to get you started.

Kelly Ramsey the owner of Developing People, Inc. is a experienced presenter and workshop leader in the areas of early childhood education, parenting, relationship development and adult education. Her work in the field of early education has spanned local, state, regional and national leadership over the past 35 years.

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G R A T I T U D E

ive thanks

emember a moment of joy

djust your focus to see the good happening around you ake the time to pause and reflect

magine a moment filled with gratefulness

hink of what matters most & say thank you se your actions to return to love

emonstrate kindness to the ones you love

njoy everyday life and breathe it in

The devil don't care!

BY AIMEE EBERT

“There is always something to be grateful

to his seeds of doubt and insecurity. He

If I hated my body before, I couldn’t even

for.’

I’m just going to come right out and say

will use those seeds to grow feelings of being unworthy, ugly, unloveable, and

stand to look at it now. I could not find one thing that I was grateful for or loved

it… When it comes to my body I just didn’t believe this to be true.

never enough.

I was always slender and fit growing up,

about my body.

but by the time I was in 6th grade I was already almost to my max height of 5 ft 10 inches. In a class of only 10 boys and girls and being the second tallest of them ALL (boys included!)…

There was too much fluff there…

Not enough here…

I was stretched out everywhere…

My face was plain…

My nose was too big…

My lips were to thin…

My hair was limp…

My legs were too long…

I’d look in the mirror and all I could see was everything I wasn’t and everything I didn’t want to be. I don’t talk about my body image struggles very often because for some reason it’s a taboo subject among women. We bury the insecurities deep under the fluffy notion of self love and self care. We live in a world where self acceptance is preached, and if you don’t love yourself then who will? The last thing I want to be seen as is a weak woman.

I also have a hard time talking about it because society has a preconceived notion that only people with “certain” body types have body image issues. That is so far from the truth, sister! The devil doesn’t care what you look like, he will take any opportunity he can

Cue the body issues!

My girlfriends were so much more petite than myself and wearing sizes two or three times smaller than me. As a preteen girl, to me that meant I was fat. So I stopped eating. I lost a lot of weight, my mom got worried, and I got mad. I would never be as small as my friends and I hated my body for it.

I struggled with this well into my adult life, and it intensified after having four kids.

And I could go on and on!

It wasn’t until about a year ago when my eyes were really opened to the truth about my body. I had been hating on myself long enough and that was not how my Father wanted his precious daughter to live. He had been reminding me over and over again that I am

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“fearfully and WONDERFULLY made. That I am made beautiful in HIS image. That HE knit me together in my mother’s womb. And I know he is a much better knitter than myself! There are no holes or missed stitches in his finished projects!

God made me carefully and purposefully. Crafting me into a work of art he would be proud to feature in the Lourve.

The same goes for you, sister!

He knows me intimately, he sees all my perceived flaws, and he calls me BEAUTIFUL ONE. Coming to that realization completely wrecked me, in a good way! I always knew it in my head, but my heart never truly believed that I was beautiful to him or anyone else.

It’s still a struggle for me some days. I still see the same things I hated before and long for what I am not, but one thing that really helps me defeat the lies of Satan and embrace my Father’s truths is gratitude.

I am grateful for the strong body he gave me. That same body carried and gave life to 5 children..

“I am grateful for my long legs to run with those kids, even if it is impossible to find pants that are long enough! Good thing cropped jeans are on trend right now!

I am grateful for my hair that expresses my fun and creative personality (it’s mermaid green, y’all!).

I think my eyes are beautiful and I thank him for them! A feature I never appreciated because brown eyes always equaled boring to me. But, chocolate is brown and it’s my favorite, so surely I can appreciate the color of my eyes!

All jokes aside, if you struggle with body image and insecurities I am going to personally challenge you to take captive those thoughts and hand them over to Christ.

When you feel them creeping in, make a conscious effort to not entertain them. Instead pick out three things about your body that you are grateful for and thank the Good Lord for them… OUT LOUD in the mirror to your beautiful self!

You’ll be amazed at how this changes your whole perception on your beauty, your worth, and how you see yourself.

There really is always something to be grateful for!

Aimee Ebert. (pictured above) is a wife and mom to four kids. She understands that life can get crazy, but she believes in finding beauty and grace in the chaos. Like so many women, she spent years unhappy with how she looked. The feelings of not being good enough trickled into every aspect of her life, until one day she decided it was enough. Aimee started taking care of the body God gave her and slowly began to realize how amazing it is, flaws and all!

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, sometimes we just need help seeing it. Beauty is in all of us, and Aimee loves helping women recognize theirs. She shows women how they can use makeup to express who they are while accentuating the beauty they were created with.

But above all, her purpose is helping women find their worth and identity in Christ, as daughters of the King Most High, so they can love themselves like Jesus loves them.

Facebook.com/aimeeebert85 Facebook.com/groups/beautygraceandchaod

Nothing to wear?!

How can we love others as we should if we can’t even love ourselves? Yes, we are to love ourselves … it’s so important it is actually one of the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). You see, when God tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves that doesn’t mean that we are to be critical, unforgiving, and judgmental of our neighbors… that is how many of us treat ourselves. It means that we should love ourselves AND our neighbors.

By: Tracie Ritz

There are several verses that speak about forgiveness Colossians 3:13 and Luke 6:37 are just two of them. All of us have people in our past who wronged us.

Sometimes we need to forgive them before we can forgive and love ourselves. Unforgiveness prevents us from living our best

Maybe we are confused about what love really is.

life. We can’t feel fabulous if we are angry with others or

When we read verses in the Bible telling us to love

ourselves. We all have made mistakes, I can’t help you accept

others, I don’t believe that love is ever referred to as

that and move on from it… But I do know someone who can.

mushy feelings… Love is ACTIONS and NOT

Try having a conversation with Jesus, just tell Him your

FEELING! Actions like patience, kindness, and

problems and that you don’t want to feel this way anymore.

forgiveness. Love is NOT FEELING jealous, envious,

Even if you are angry with Him for something… tell Him, He

or holding on to past wrongs (1Corinthians 13:4-6,

can handle it. He wants to take the hurt from you, but you

Col. 3:12-15). Does knowing that make loving a little

need to give it to Him first. So what does loving yourself have

bit easier? This means that we don’t have to feel

to do with gratitude? Well, I am extremely grateful that Jesus

mushy emotions for our co-worker who is a big

loves me so much that He took my sins as His own and died for

meanie… we are to ACT in a loving way… be patient,

me. It is because of this loving ACTION that I am able to love

be kind, be forgiving, etc. God doesn’t expect us to

Him, myself and others. He already paid the price for me… it

have butterflies every time we look at our spouse,

would be downright rude to reject the gift!

He wants us to love with actions… even when hubby is sitting on the couch watching TV and you asked him 3 times to take out the garbage!

I suppose I should throw some fashion into this article, huh? I may not be able to buy new clothes all the time, but I am very grateful for what I already have. Sometimes we look in our closet and say, “I have nothing to wear” because we get in a rut always reaching for the same few pieces to wear. One way we can avoid this and wear everything in our closet is to put together outfits instead of just hanging individual pieces. Match up every bottom with a top, jewelry, scarf, cardigan, etc. and put the whole outfit on the hanger.

After you wear your outfit, make a different outfit with the bottoms and hang that in your closet. You will be amazed at how many new outfits you can make! For more tips checkout my YouTube channel “Tracie’s Tidbits”.

Maybe we are confused about what love really is.

When we read verses in the Bible telling us to love others, I don’t believe that love is ever referred to as mushy feelings… Love is ACTIONS and NOT FEELING! Actions like patience, kindness, and forgiveness. God already knows that we are going to screw up and have difficult times. He told us that trials are a blessing and to learn from it (James 1:24)… He didn’t tell us to dwell on it and let it hold us down.

Hope you have a wonderful month loving yourself and others, feeling fabulous in your new outfits that you had all along, and being grateful to our Lord for all He had done!

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THE FAITHFUL MERCHANT I don't know about you, but I sometimes struggle with comparison & all of the "by now, I should" scenarios.

Did I think, ten years ago, that my life as a 33-year-old married mom of three would look like it does right now? Nope. There are definitely things I thought I'd already have, battles I thought I would have already overcome, struggles I was sure I wouldn't still be facing.

I could choose to focus on the things I may be lacking and always feel like I'm falling short in some way. (And I have, many times.) But instead, I will choose to focus on all of the things I DO have, all of the things I've been blessed with.

That list... that list totally trumps my list of shortcomings.

Joy & grace alone continue to fill my cup to overflowing.

When you shift your perspective to focus on gratitude, everything changes. You soon will come to realize that the things already in your life ARE enough, more than what we could ask for or deserve, and exactly what we need.

We are Jon & Alyssa, the hands behind The Faithful Merchant! We create inspirational & faith-based jewelry, apparel, accessories, and more. Our goal is to create cute & affordable pieces that inspire you & that will inspire others when you wear them! We love creating custom & meaningful pieces! When we aren't creating, we're homeschooling our boys or spending time outside!

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BY: CHELSEA ZELENEY-FLORO PHOTO CREDIT: HONEY BELLE PHOTOGRAPHY PG 16

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I didn’t become a foster parent to actually foster children My plan was to adopt one perfect little boy or girl, who was desperately needing a forever home. We were going to save them, change their life, & then go on as if nothing had ever happened, you know the story of happily ever after? That would be us.

I felt called to adopt, but convincing my husband of that was another story. In fact, he wasn’t interested in raising more children.

Especially because our oldest was recently diagnosed with autism.

So when the begging & crying didn’t work, I decided to start praying.

After a year of asking God to align our two hearts with His will, my husband finally agreed to look into adoption. We pursued international & domestic but after each closed door & seven months of paperwork, trainings & homestudys, we were licensed foster parents.

But if I’ve learned anything on this journey it’s that we are all put on this earth to serve a specific purpose & He will make a way for us to do exactly that, although rarely how we have planned. Sometimes He throws us in, excited & prepared for what lies ahead, sometimes He slowly grooms our heart for what’s next & sometimes, like Jonah, you run from your calling & He offers grace by sticking you in the mouth of a giant whale, bringing you back to that calling.

That day we were able to say yes to children that had been awaiting adoption. We were excited, we told everybody, decorated a room & prepared for a future with them. Three weeks later, that door would abruptly & permanently close. We had experienced our first loss.

After only weeks, I could see that I was already on a rollercoaster & it was wilder than I had imagined. But we still wanted to stand in line for the ride & now, we were open to welcoming any type of child, whether they were awaiting adoption or just entering foster care.

Two days went by before the phone rang while I was at church.

I have experienced all three in the last five years of foster care.

When my two biological kids were toddlers, my husband & I found out that we wouldn’t be having any more of ‘our own’ kids. I was okay at first, but overtime the devastation set in.

I had always longed for a mini van full of little muddy soccer players, for absolutely no down time & to live in a laundry filled house of chaos & giggles—okay I’m lying about the laundry part, but you get the picture.

This was my ‘white picket fence’. This was the life I had always envisioned as a little girl.,

“We have this little boy, he’s 2, he needs a home today, can you take him?”

I hadn’t even wrapped my head around what had happened just days ago but in walks the cutest boy, who was half the size he should have been & he had the tallest, most well-manicured mohawk I had ever seen. He immediately took me outside & asked “mommy will you push me on the swing?” My heart melted for Chancey. He was so sweet & full of energy, beyond any child I had ever met. He had also suffered more trauma than my mind could understand at such a young age. We welcomed Photo Credit: Honey Belle Photography him & loved him as if he had always been with us.

Just as life was settling & we had found our new normal, the phone rang again.

““I have a one day old baby girl. Can you take her? She doesn’t yet have a name.”

She was beautiful, we picked out the name Savannah for her. I couldn’t believe we were so ‘lucky’ to have her with us. But for the first time, my heart ached for her biological mom. It was overwhelming to hurt for someone who may have made different decisions than I did, but really had no true support. I realized that although I thought this baby was meant to be with us, God had never intended for families to be broken. He just didn’t. This child was never meant to be mine, but she was only with me because of brokenness. I struggled with feeling guilt over my extreme joy that this could be forever.

All I wanted was to grow my family & there I was, trying to process that adoption from foster care came with so much more than my ‘white picket fence’. Broken families, trauma, pain; it all hit me at once. My eyes were finally opening to a bigger picture.

Months went by while we continued loving & caring for these children & although we were comfortable with our family dynamics, we could see that God had not called us to forever with Chancey. He had called us to bridge the gap from where he was, to where he needed to be.

Chancey would be broadcasted throughout the state of Texas to find an adoptive home, but I could not wrap my head around never seeing this child, who had been in my house for over a year, ever again. I felt God pulling me to reach out to a couple that I had only met once in passing at a local foster parent dinner, I knew nothing about them & didn’t even get a chance to speak with them that night. I did know that they were wanting to adopt a child from foster care, like so many others in our community. I wrote them a message, ‘hey I know I don’t know you & you don’t know me & I’m sure you’re going to think I’m crazy, but I believe you are supposed to be my son’s parents’.

Their reply was somewhere between "You are crazy" and "Tell us more".

We talked for days & after meeting them, it was obvious who Chancey’s parents were & I wasn’t one of them. I also knew things didn’t work like that, foster parents can’t make those kinds of decisions & I was overstepping my boundaries; but I felt that if God had directed me specifically to this family, He would make it all work. & just weeks later, what shouldn’t have been, was, & he landed exactly where he needed to be. We still get to see Chancey. My husband & I are his ‘aunt & uncle’ & our children are his ‘cousins’. We had the pleasure of standing beside his family on adoption day & we now enjoy watching him not only grow, but thrive.

While our family was still adjusting from saying goodbye to Chancey & when our sweet baby girl Savannah was just nine-months old, we walked into the courthouse & adopted her by surprise. In fact, she wasn’t at her adoption & we didn’t have a crowd of family or friends around us to celebrate; but we got the honor of being her parents, forever. We were an official family of five.

So we were done right? We had adopted our perfect baby girl & experienced just enough heartache that we were closing our home. Ripping up our foster care license, our family was complete. But then the phone rang again, it was the call for the twins. The ones that I was asked to keep, just for a short while until their permanent home was available. You know, the twins I didn’t tell my husband about until he walked through the door, home from work to find them. That day he was confused to say the least, maybe a little mad, but who can remember. What I do remember was that The Lord prepared my heart over the years. I would never have said yes to children knowing without a doubt, I would soon be saying goodbye.

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But because we did, we were able to bridge another gap from where children were, to where they needed to be. We also had the privilege of watching them grow, something I didn’t even realize I would treasure.

I’m sure you can imagine what happened next, I don’t even know why we tried saying we were done. I heard about him many times on Facebook. The baby boy that needed a home.

He was in the hospital for months awaiting a family to be placed with. He was described as having major orthopedic issues; which I later found out meant he was missing both of his femur bones & hips. Every time I would tell myself no, another post would pop up about him or someone would call me to see if I had heard his story. Weeks went by & I could not get him off my mind, so we decided (as a family this time) to say yes. There we were, just one month after adopting our daughter & declaring we were done, with two babies under twelve months old. He was tiny, fourteen inches at three month old.

His prognosis didn’t sound good, but we serve a God who is in the business of miracles & he proved that. Overtime he would walk, he would ride a scooter & he would run. He wasn’t in the plan & honestly, we wouldn’t have said yes to this child years before because we just weren’t ready. His name is Charlie & he was adopted when he was 17 months old. He is now three & we are still amazed that he is constantly proving everyone wrong.

I am so glad that God threw him at me when I wouldn’t do it myself.

So by this point, we were donedone. We loved the family God had given to us but foster care had worn us down, It was the chewed up & spit out kind of feeling. We couldn’t continue this ever-changing ride, or so we thought. Somewhere along the way, our hearts had shifted & our passion had changed from building our family, to being a family for those who needed one.

So we are still fostering & this time, she’s seventeen.

A teenager, the type of child we always wanted to foster—when we were older, had no more children at home, more time, more parenting under our belts & definitely more patience.

It has not been easy, not one single day. People tell me she should be grateful for us. In reality, I’m grateful for her & that we are in this together. She has taught me that even children who are almost considered adults in the eyes of the state need someone willing to invest in them, to guide them & commit to them. We’re only fourteen years apart, but by the grace of God, I am rocking being her momma. It will become official later this year when she is adopted.

I bet you are expecting me to say that we will finally be done fostering & adopting right? Well, We don’t say that anymore. In fact, we say that we are always expecting, we just don’t know when or who.

Today my passion is to spread foster care awareness & encourage others who are right where I am. I started my Facebook blog Real Life Foster Mom to share what it’s really like being a foster parent; the isolation, the challenges, the joys, the hope & to inform everyone in the community how they can have a hand in helping our children & families—because we truly can’t do this without support.

I also run a foster closet at my home church alongside a few other mommas. We serve anywhere from four to ten families on a weekly basis & offer a monthly support group for local foster, adoptive & kinship families.

I could have never imagined the blessings that have been given to me along this hard journey.

Photo Credit: Ryan Floro

If you are like I was, standing in front of another closed door, the best advice I could give to you is that when God shuts one door, thank Him & then don’t be afraid to walk through the next one He opens. It may not be the exact door you asked for, maybe it has scratches or missing paint & you may still be hurting from the last big slam in your face; but remember, He brings beauty from the broken.

PHOTO CREDIT: JORDAN LINDSAY PHOTOGRAPHY

Chelsea Zeleny-Floro from The Woodlands,TX is a stay at home mom of five...for now. She has been a foster parent for the last five years & is passionate about advocating for kids in the system & bringing about adoption & foster care awareness.

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Trades of Hope is a company empowering mamas to keep their babies and helping to stop human trafficking. We partner with these ladies in the artisan groups to help them have a safe place to heal and to provide for their families. They make beautiful hand-crafted items like jewelry, bags, scarves, and home decor that you can buy to support their groups. Join my Facebook page (Ellyn Treadway’s Trades of Hope) to hear about the real life impact you are making by your purchases and to see the latest deals or buy now at www.mytradesofhope.com/EllynTreadway

Type A Gratitude Autumn Hoover Type A Christian Author and Speaker

I am so grateful to be a first-time contributing author to this new Christian magazine. And I’m even more excited that my first article is being published in the month of October for four significant reasons.

For starters, my first name, Autumn, reveals that I was born in the most beautiful month of the year where the “colors of the wind” can be seen along the beautiful Smoky Mountains—an area of East Tennessee that I share with the charitable Dolly Parton.

Families may drive in any direction and see beautiful fall foliage as they spend quality time together during a quick day trip. And, I am blessed to live in the Volunteer state that truly teaches the meaning of community, especially when it comes to helping those in need.

Second, this month marks the one-year anniversary of a project I had secretly worked on over the last decade of my life— the publication of my first Christian book, “Type A Christian.” I had the opportunity to work with an amazing editor and hundreds of close family and friends during its launch last year. And within its first week of availability on Amazon, my book ranked 1st in the “Personal Growth & Christianity” category and ranked 2nd behind Lysa Terkeurst in New Releases! I truly believe my book and title was inspired by God, and I pray my testimony can help others who consider themselves Type A. It wasn’t until I faced specific trials in my life and unable to rely on my Type A traits to succeed that I realized my behaviors and characteristics were not synonymous with the fruit of the Spirit. So if there’s any Christian women with Type A personalities who want to learn “which traits to grow and which traits to prune,” then this book is for you!

And the third reason I love the month of October as I have already implied…it is my birthday month! But—this is no ordinary birthday! This is the birthday I have been dreading for the last couple of years. It is probably the most anticipated birthday as I will be turning the big 4-0! I have always enjoyed celebrating my previous birthdays with my family as a child, and now I celebrate with my husband, daughter, and his family as well. Even a couple of years ago, I remember taking my daughter to a local store to purchase props for our church’s fall festival when the cashier asked if we were going to a birthday party. My daughter quickly answered, “No, but my Mom is having a birthday!” The cashier asked if I liked having my birthday near Halloween, and I instantly replied, “What’s not to like? One night I get to eat my Mom‘s famous Mississippi mud cake and open presents with close family, and the next day I dress up as my favorite character and get free candy!” I’m not going to lie; I still like to dress-up with my daughter and may steal some of her chocolate candy!

However, after becoming a wife and mother, a women’s health nurse practitioner (WHNP), and now Christian author, I must admit that I am not very excited to turn 40. I am very appreciative for the experiences God has blessed me through the last four decades, but I am starting to notice some ‘wear and tear’ in areas that I have not noticed in the past. Many of my friends and I wonder why we can’t lose 10-15 pounds, when decades before we could eat all-carb diets without worrying how much exercise would counteract the calories ingested.

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We no longer have babies or toddlers to carry, which is bittersweet, because now instead of changing diapers and rearranging our schedules around nap time, we are helping with science projects and rushing out of work to make it to ballgames. We are paying the same amount of money to purchase expensive concealers that would otherwise cover the same cost for a family dinner of six. And some are even skirting with the idea to turn back the clock with injections and fillers to camouflage the appearance of any aging. And, while we would normally be gracious with something actually thin on our bodies, unfortunately, this is the only time we are using various products to plump and volumize! What is that you ask? The hair on our head! We now wonder if we should cut our dry and lifeless hair to shorter lengths because we will never have the volume of Cindy Crawford’s hair, even if she is in her 50s.

But why do we feel like there are so many rules for this season of life, and who makes these rules? Well, as I become older, and maybe a little wiser, I have learned that we actually make the rules for ourselves. We are constantly comparing with one another, but I also learned from a recent blog that sometimes we compare ourselves with none other than our younger selves! And then it hit me! I have been comparing myself to….well, me! I was comparing my looks, my clothes sizes, my former sleep patterns, and maybe even my youthful personality from times of my youth. I started to realize that not only did I need to appreciate the season of life I am in now, but I need to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for my journey. I have been very fortunate in reaching various milestones as many of those are answered prayers. Jesus says in the book of Luke, “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (9:62). I know God will continue to bless me and my family as long as we keep Him at the center in our lives, and I am so thankful that my book has given me additional opportunities to be a witness for Him. We need to remember that our past experiences are the building blocks to our future successes, and in order to fulfill God’s will, we must continue to look forward even, if that means seeing a few more wrinkles in the mirror.

And finally, as a WHNP, I would be remiss if I didn’t offer some education for this very special month in regards to women all over the world. Whether you are celebrating a birthday this month or not, we are fortunate to reach special milestones in correlation to various birthdays and turning 40 is no different. When we turn 16, we get our driver’s license, and when we turn 18, we get the right to vote. But for us females, when we turn 40, we get the biggest gift of all...the dreaded mammogram!

That’s right, October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month. Even though I still feel like I can wear a junior pushup bra, I have encouraged all of my patients turning 40, and even younger women with a strong family history of breast cancer, to comply in recommendations in receiving their yearly mammograms. And now, it’s my turn, but I admit that I am a little anxious about the procedure.

I could choose to forgo the mammogram, but what would that say to all of my female patients if I were to tell them one thing but disregard it for myself? I can only imagine God having the most brilliant plan for His creation and then watching us totally destroy it. He gave us specific instructions on how to live, but unfortunately He could find no one without sin. So, that is why He sent His Son to not only fulfill the law He first handed down but to also serve as an example to all of His followers. Too many Christians first witness to others by mentioning various ‘rules’ that need to be observed in order to become a follower of Jesus —but we also know that we are saved by our faith in Jesus who showed love and compassion first. Now we know that God gave us specific instructions not to confine us, but to set us apart and prolong our lives, even if that means getting a yearly mammogram.

For more information on breast cancer screening and recommendations, please go to the CDC website and ask your provider or diagnostic center about having a 3D mammogram, which may detect an average of 40% more invasive breast cancer compared to a 2D mammogram.

There are various centers that offer low cost or even free mammograms for those without insurance coverage. There were nearly 250,000 new cases of female breast cancer and over 40,000 female breast cancer deaths per CDC reports in 2016.

References https://www.mygenius3d.com/why-choosegenius-3d/ https://gis.cdc.gov/Cancer/USCS/DataViz.html Rachel Gilbert @racheljgilbert on Instagram

TYPE A

Christian

In Autumn’s new book, “Type A Christian,” she contrasts successful Type A traits that is typically utilized in order to further our education, career, and various goals to the nine attributes of the fruit of the Spirit as mentioned in the book of Galatians. The idea for her book came shortly after suffering with unexplained infertility and later learning of their daughter’s diagnosis with hearing loss. As a nurse and Type A individual, Autumn felt totally out of control and was unable to utilize her successful traits when facing these specific trials. When she realized that her traits had become total opposite to the fruit of the Spirit, she was finally able to listen to God’s vision.

Readers are invited to take a one-of-a-kind personality quiz as it relates to your Christian walk and identifies potential negative behaviors.

The book also lists various benefits in having a Type A personality within your family, career, and Christian walk. As a nurse practitioner, Autumn is excited to include a chapter regarding specific health risks for those who uphold strict Type A characteristics.

The effects of stress and detrimental health risks are reviewed for those who do not modify their Type A behaviors as well as recommended coping strategies for avoiding stress. ‘Type A Christian’ teaches us “which traits to grow and which traits to prune” in order to be effective Christians as we share the Gospel with the world.

So, what is a ‘Type A Christian?’ It is someone who has learned how to use their positive personality traits and has overcome negative behaviors in order to fulfill their role as a follower of Christ.

Autumn’s book, “Type A Christian,” is available on Amazon in eBook, paperback, and Audiobook versions.

Follow the Author: FB at https://m.facebook.com/TypeAChristian/ Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/type_a_christian/ Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/typeachristian/ Author Page & Free Personality Quiz at https://www.chasingkites.com/authors/autumn-hoover/Type A TalksTo schedule Autumn for a speaking engagement, please email at TypeAChristian@gmail.com

the

"microwave"

society

BY DANIELLE "DANI" WASHINGTON

The other day I told my godsister that I was so tired of seeing the process, hearing the word process, and being in a process. If I heard the word again I was going to scream. I signed onto Pinterest and there it was, a meme that said “The process He is taking you through has a purpose. Trust God even when it doesn’t make sense.”

Ugh, not only was the word process in there, but the word purpose too. Purpose is another word that I’m running from.

Just leave me alone already!

I decided to look up the word process, I really wanted to know and understand what it meant. What did I do that for?

Process – a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end; a natural or involuntary series of change.

Wait, did that say involuntary?

Ha, that explains a lot, but I’m not even going to touch on that. I mean I get the fact that I have to take action and that I have to take steps, but shouldn’t these be actions that I choose to take?

Steps that I believe will help me get to where I’m trying to go? I actually asked God that, even though I wasn’t quite ready for His response. “Yes, you can definitely choose those actions and steps, but only if YOU know the particular end.”

Errrr. He goes on to say “see you only know the end you would like to see, but I know the actual end.

The end that you were purposed for.” I’m going to stop asking God questions (just kidding, but not really).

I’m learning that everything in life has a process and there’s absolutely no way around it. We live in a society, that I call “someone else’s microwave society.” It used to be a “microwave society,” where we want things fast and in a hurry. We want to skip steps in the process so that we can get things now.

Nowadays, we want it even faster than that, we want “someone else” to do it. Programs like Instacart, Door Dash, HEB Delivery, etc. (which I am not against, because I use them) these all cut out the process of you doing the actions or steps and someone else does it for you. There are even courses that you can purchase for a million and two dollars where a guru or expert has done “all the work for you, all you have to do is follow these proven steps…” But proven for who? These steps (again, I’m not knocking, because some of them are helpful) cannot possibly be the process for everyone.

Reason being is everyone’s particular end is not the same and although the end may be similar the process that YOU have to go through is specific for YOU! I’m having to come to a realization, that the purpose God has called me for has a specific set of actions and steps that are required in order to achieve. So many times I look at others who seem to have “arrived,” whatever that means, and wonder why I haven’t gotten there yet? Why does it seem to be taking me so long to get there? Problem number one, their “there” and my “there” are on two different ends of the spectrum.

Sometimes it may look the same, some of the works appears to be the same, but our purposes are different.

Number two, I don’t know what process they had to grow through to get there, nor do I know at what point in life they began their process. Frankly, some things that some people had to go through, I just don’t want to go through.

Add a little bit of body text

l'll take my own process for 100 please.

We also have to understand that timing is everything, we can miss out on some extremely important lessons in a rush to get “there.”

I’ve even had moments where I’ve questioned if God even said to do something because there are parts in the process that don’t always result how I think they should. I mean if God said do X then the result of X should have been good right? Well, just because some things God tells you to do does not result in how you hoped, it doesn’t mean God didn’t tell you to do it. There are no meaningless steps in the process.

If anyone feels like I feel let me encourage you as I also encourage myself. God is faithful and He will do what He said He would do. You just make sure that keep moving forward and stand firm on the promise He gave you.

Don’t look at your timing and circumstances as a sign that maybe God didn’t say this or maybe you heard wrong.

I know sometimes it gets hard. We start off real strong knowing that God gave us a word, but then we look up days or even weeks later and nothing has happened, and we begin to wonder if what we heard was even God. The truth is God doesn’t reveal the process to us when He reveals the vision. He may show us the expected end, but He won’t show us how or when we will get there. He will give us step by step instructions. The key is to keep moving forward in obedience and keep your eyes on what God showed you. It’s also important during this process to keep a journal to record what God is saying and showing to you. So many times, I have wavered and tried to substitute things, but God has me to re-read what He said so that I can stay focused. The ability to go back to the recordings and say, no I’m not going to do that because that is not what God said has saved me some heartache. There have even been times when I have had to go back and redo some things because I didn’t do them like He said.

When we trust God to give us a vision, we have to trust Him through the process of the vision as well. He won’t give us something and then not equip us to do it.

Even as I write this, I am standing on a vision that God has given me and I’m following the actions and steps of the process. It’s hard sometimes, and I haven’t made it yet, but I’m not giving up in the process. Keep pushing, keep pressing and keep praying. You WILL get there.

Trust the process.

Dani is a wife and a mother of 2 wonderful children. She has a passion for encouraging an uplifting others. She’s always seeking ways to push others into their destiny.

Dani has had a successful 13-year career in Operations Management and Administration including 3+ years specializing in Early Childhood Education. Dani is extremely excited about the vision that she has been given for Wigglez~N~Gigglez, LLC and is anticipating being able to make an impact and impart vision to others especially young children.

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Website: www.wigglezngigglez.com Email: info@wigglezngigglez.com Facebook: facebook.com/wigglezngigglez Instagram: instagram.com/wigglezngigglez Pinterest: pinterest.com/wigglezngigglzbb

DEBT AVOIDANCE Debt can be a major stressor in the life of any crown rocker. It has the potential to impact self confidence, cause bumps in marriages, and reduce quality of life due to lack of discretionary income. So before we get into the nitty gritty of how to avoid and manage debt, I want you to take a moment to be grateful for what you have. Focus on the positives in your life. Write three to five things you’re grateful for as they come to mind. For these next few minutes as you read, it’s not about where you’ve been, but where you’re going. The best way to get out of debt is to avoid it. How? Read on.

Create a spending plan & stick to it.. When you plan where your money will go ahead of time and stick to that plan, you won’t be spending more than you make. Feel free to reference my first article for guidance on how develop a spending plan.

Establish an emergency fund before getting overwhelmed with setting aside a huge lump sum of cash, focus on setting aside $1,000 into a separate bank account for emergencies. As you progress in your financial journey, you can then shift your focus to saving three to six months worth of living expenses into this account. This way when the car breaks down or the hot water heater goes out, you will be prepared to cover the cost and won’t look to a credit card for financial relief.

Avoid “browsing” or “window shopping”It can be easy to justify purchases outside of your spending plan once you see a great “deal.” Seeing an item on sale may seem like a good bargain, but the only way it will save you money is if you were already planning on buying it. By shopping with a general idea of what you are looking for (winter clothes, work pants, etc), it will help you stay disciplined and within the guidelines of your spending plan. Then you won’t receive that lofty credit card bill in the mail next month and wonder how you will pay it off.

Do NOT take out store credit cards! These cards might save you 20%-30% today, but they generally have above average interest rates of 25%-30%. If you fail to pay the balance in full each month, you will pay more for your purchases over the long term due to the higher interest charge. In addition, a store credit card could lead you into the trap described in item three above. .

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Reduce or eliminate crediit card usage Many of you may be thinking, “But I get ‘free’ money in the form of cash back on my credit card.” Statistically speaking, the average person spends about 30% more overall when they use a credit card.

When you hand over a $20 bill or see your bank account immediately decrease after a purchase, psychologically you “feel” it more compared to swiping a credit card. Instead of spending $100 in cash or debit, you would spend $130 on your credit card. Even if you earn 3% cash back, your spending would calculate out to $126.10 ($130 minus their 3%) which is much more than the $100 you would have spent in cash or debit. To put it simply, paying with cash or a debit card makes it much easier to stay on budget. If you do use your credit card, only use it for budgeted items and understand the dangers of it. So what if you’re already in debt? How can you manage to get out of the hole?

Managing Debt If you’re currently in debt take a deep breath; there is a way out! In my last article, I wrote about the debt snowball method in which you tackle your smallest debt first and then tackle your larger ones. In this article, I’d like to walk you through this approach in greater detail.

To jog your memory, the steps are: (1) List your debts (besides mortgage) from smallest balance to largest outstanding balance.

(2) Factor the minimum payment of each debt into your spending plan and pay each according to schedule.

(3) Choose the debt with the smallest balance and repeatedly pay down as much as you can.

(4) Once the smallest debt is eliminated, begin applying the payment you were making toward the next smallest debt. Now let’s apply this process to a real life example.

According to Nerd Wallet, the following table outlines an average American household debt load:

Debt Type Amount Minimum Monthly Payment

Store Credit Card $1,000 Visa Credit Card $2,000 Amex Credit Card $4,000 Auto Loans $28,000 Student Loans $47,000 Mortgage $189,000

$25 $50 $75 $500 $500 $1,000

Total $271,000

$1,125

We can check off Step 1 and 2, since the debts are arranged in order of increasing amount and the monthly payment for each is listed. Next, we would make the minimum payments on each debt, which totals out to $1,125 a month. Remember, these minimum payments should already be factored into our spending plan!

Now, let's say that our spending plan affords us an extra $300 a month to put towards our debts. We would then pay that additional $300 to the Store Credit Card for just over three months to eliminate that smallest debt entirely. With the Store Credit Card paid off, we would then take the $325 total we were paying toward it and start putting that money towards the next smallest debt: the Visa Credit card bill.

At this rate, we would be paying $375 a month to the Visa Credit Card until it is paid off. Then we would start paying an additional $375 to our Amex Credit Card, and so the snowball continues. This approach helps us eliminate our debts one by one. We are able to celebrate the successes as each debt is eliminated along the way and maintain motivation as each subsequent debt is paid off. I hope you will find trust and confidence in this process as you tackle your debt free journey!

YOU GOT THIS!!

Brandon is a Christian financial advisor whose focus is to help others take control of their finances and steward their resources to the best of their ability. Upon completion of his finance degree, Brandon spent six months in a training program designed to enhance his skills to better serve those he works with. He has since been building a practice where faith is an important part of nearly every client conversation.

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BY: MIKE DAVIS Mike Davis, also known as “The Emotional Success Coach�, is an author, speaker, corporate trainer and pastor. He has trained and coached individual clients and teams in Fortune 500 companies in live, face to face training as well as through virtual online events, across the United States, and around the world for the past 25 years..

e d u t i t e g a r a i G rr in

a M

“In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (I Thessalonians 5:18) This month’s theme of The Everyday Crown Rocker magazine is Gratitude! And in keeping with that theme I want to write about gratitude in our relationships.

Is it important? And if so -why? Not it seems to go without saying that gratitude is important in relationships. Right? But let’s say it anyway: In relationships, gratitude is important!

But why is gratitude so important for relationships? According to the research, Gratitude is the glue that holds relationships together.

Dr. Amie M. Gordon in an article she wrote for Psychology Today entitled “Is Gratitude the Antidote to Relationship Failure” states that one of the reasons that relationships began to fail is because couples begin to take one another for granted. This is due to something we all experience called the hedonic effect. The hedonic effect is our ability to get used to something that initially may cause a spike or rise in our joy and happiness. When something is new and exciting to us, we experience increased feelings of happiness, joy and delight (think back to when you bought your first car or moved to a new place).

But after a while we get used to the “new thing” and we go back to feeling the way we felt before it entered our life. It becomes a regular part of our life. We get “used to it”This happens in our relationships also. When we first meet our partner or get married we delight in their qualities, characteristics and quirks. But after a while we get used to them, and we begin taking our partner for granted. And the characteristics and qualities we found appealing we may now find, well…irritating.

The key to overcoming this is to purposely feel and express gratitude for our partner consistently.

Gratitude, the research shows, causes us to feel more caring and committed to our partner and it motivates us to engage in behaviors that helps to keep the relationship together. When we are feeling grateful towards our partner, we become more thoughtful and responsive, we listen more to what they are saying, we care more about what they are feeling (and we respond appropriately). This of course can cause our partner to feel more appreciated and valued - which in turn can cause them to respond to us in more grateful and thankful ways. As we sow-we reap (as a rule -of course there are always exceptions to the rule).When couples in a relationship both practice expressing gratitude to each other they report greater marital satisfaction and feel closer to each other.

So do you have to wait until your partner shows you gratitude before you feel valued and appreciated and thus motivated to show them gratitude? Nope!You don’t have to wait! You can begin on your own, apart from your partner and begin reaping the benefits of gratitude for yourself (with the bonus that it will have a positive impact on how you relate to your partner).

Gratitude has been shown to be one of the number one emotions and practices necessary for emotional and relationship wellbeing. Take the time to cultivate a spirit of gratitude for yourself. It will pay huge benefits if you do. Until next time -be grateful!

Here are 5 things you can begin doing today!

Take the initiative.

Don’t wait until your partner does something to make you feel appreciative for you Decide to become to begin to show a person of gratitude -you go gratitude. first!

Decide, “This is who I choose to be - a person of gratitude!”

Began cultivating an attitude of gratitude for life in general.

Begin listing what you are grateful for in life. What is important in this step is to truly feel the gratitude. Then as you are feeling the gratitude begin listing what you are grateful for in regard to your partner. It is easier to find what we are grateful for in a person when we are already PG 32 feeling grateful.!

Express gratitude towards your partner.

Let them know specifically what you are grateful for, tell them why you are grateful for it, and the specific blessings and Give your partner benefits their actions compliments -at least have brought you. 3-5 times a day. When they do well at work, or at home, celebrate The Everyday Crown Rocker Magazine with them!

Show Gratitude to Your Soul

It was during this period that I gained enough weight to be staring 400 pounds in the face. Yep! A few more months of going like I was, and I might not be writing this article today. As my path to healing continues, I have learned how to intentionally care for my soul. A part of my self-care routine is to make sure that I show gratefulness to my soul. It has been a

There was a time when a bath for me would happen every 7-14 days and brushing my teeth was something, I explored a few times a week. Self-care was not my thing and it showed. It had nothing to do with not knowing how to care for myself and everything to do with my choices due to depression and anxiety disorder.

wonderful ride, learning how to make sure that I am a priority and that includes me soul. Do you tell your soul that you are grateful? How do you say thank you to your soul?

There are so many ways to be grateful to the state of your soul.

Take a nap

Sleep is an imperative part of soul care. When we take the time to rest our eyes and mind, we give our soul a siesta too. Sleep experts have found that daytime naps can improve many things: increase alertness, boost creativity, reduce stress, improve perception, stamina, motor skills and accuracy, enhance your sex life, aid in weight loss, reduce the risk of heart attack, brighten your mood and boost memory. Tell your soul, thank you by getting some sleep.

Use a diffuser

As a certified herbalist and a natural health expert, I have been able to study the benefits of burning essential oils in a diffuser. God designs herbs to help us heal. That healing includes taking care of the soul. Oils like lavender, peppermint, sandalwood, and geranium can help alleviate stress, replenish energy, and balance hormones. When you use a diffuser, you want to make sure to use one that is created for essential oils.

Be Grateful

Yes! How often do you thank others? Practice being intentionally grateful for your life, others, and the many blessings bestowed upon you. A simple exercise is to turn every negative thought into a moment of gratefulness. For example, if a co-worker says something that upsets you, take a moment to see them through the eyes of Christ and before you walk away, tell them that you are grateful for who they are. If your child does not wash the dishes, don’t yell but discuss and then let them know how thankful you are to be their mother. Find a way to be grateful at any given moment and your soul will thank you right back with good energy throughout the day. Your soul matters. Be grateful for everything it brings into your life.

LaTara V. Bussey is a certified master life coach, author, entrepreneurial mentor, storyteller, and vision keeper. She has been there; done that, and now writes books, helps people have healthy emotional conversations and speaks nationwide about a life not lived and the dangers it causes.Color your Soul https://www.facebook.com/lvbcoloryoursoul/ PG 34

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Creating an Environment of Gratitude BY:ASHLEY SAULS

IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS: FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS CONCERNING YOU( 1 THESSALONIANS 5:18, KJV).

Gratitude is a must for Kingdom Living Matthew 6:33 unveils a powerful, game-changing advantage that will elevate our gratitude and our lives, “Seek first the Kingdom of God.” When we are challenged to remain grateful in the mundane, it typically stems from a want. For example, wanting the kids to wake up on time so you are not rushing to work or an unlimited to supply of money for the incidental expenses that come up at the least convenient times or seasons. Going a little bit further to Matthew 6:31-32 we are challenged not to worry about our day to day necessities. God has an abundant Kingdom where lack doesn’t exist. When people and circumstances try to test our gratitude, remember to seek Him first. God has an excellent track record of creating ways for needs and concerns to be supplied that we least expect.

Where there is an abundance of gratitude, we no longer strive to survive. We know that our King can take care of every single need.

Gratitude Must Be Expressed Internally The fruit of gratitude is joy. I love this definition of joy by Karen Warren, “ Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.” When joy is present, my gratitude isn’t dependent on people or things. Its foundation is in God knowing that He is with me, my family, and within my life. Where there is an absence of joy, be willing to assess your gratitude level.

Ashley Sauls is a creative leader who loves to use the vehicle of written and spoken word as an author, blogger, and facilitator of Daughters Restored Heart and Soul Retreats.

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Gratitude Invites Abundance Gratitude creates a place where we are experiencing abundance in every area of our lives. Abundance isn’t limited to wealth. We can live in abundance in the Fruit of the Spirit(i.e., love, joy, peace, long-suffering, temperance).

When we understand the wealth of blessings around us, we realize how much we truly have.

We can then live in contentment of the blessings we have daily. Where there is an absence of gratitude, there is an invitation to lack. Be willing to assess your gratitude and what it invites.

Gratitude Challenges Us to Serve Gratitude not only shows up in our heart and heart posture, but it also shows up in how we serve others. When I am truly grateful, I will respond. This response can be a kind word, gesture, or can be a tangible expression of

God created and we too have a responsibility to steward our creativity properly. Gratitude helps us to remain appreciative and humble and keeps our hearts free to receive. How will

appreciation. Think about how you feel when

you partner with God in gratitude? How will you use your

someone says “thank you” or “I appreciate you.”

creative DNA to create an environment where gratitude

Be willing to sow these seeds of gratitude in your

becomes a part of your life? How will you foster gratitude

home and life and watch the rewarding seeds of

within your relationships? What do you want the impact of

honor that sprout.

your gratitude to be? The possibilities are endless!

Go forward Creative Crown Rocker and establish an intentional habit of gratitude.

Giving Thanks In The Daily ChaosBy: Claire Winson Dirty dishes in the sink overnight. Never ending laundry. Kids at each other's throats (again!).

Stacked bills that can’t be paid (not all the same month, anyway). The daily aches and pains that are getting worse, not better, with time. Relationships that are hanging by a thread. Any of this sound familiar? Go ahead and add anything not yet mentioned to the mountain of trials and tribulations. How many times a day do you wish your burden would be released? That the financial blessing would come? Or at least the season of peace and quiet? Or you’d be next for the miraculous healing?But no matter what is going on, we’re told to give thanks in everything. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus“ 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Wait, let’s read that again, “Give thanks in all circumstances”. Not just in

some things, but in all the things. Although it’s easier said than done, sometimes finding the gratitude in the midst of life is about shifting our perspective. Here are three ways you can rock your crown, even in the midst of the storm:

1. What is your story?

Look at your story, your whole story. From the moment you were born to where you are right now. Not just the good, not just the bad, not just the parts that are easily remembered. But all of it. When you look carefully, you’ll discover so much of how the past impacts who you are now! The type of business you’ve chosen, the family you’re creating, the choices you’re making. Spend some time writing out your life story from start to finish, leaving nothing out (this is going to take a while).As a single mama I’ve chosen a tough path of working from home and homeschooling. It’s not easy (and it’s often not pretty. Lunch in pjs, anyone?). There are many days when I’ve questioned my sanity but it wasn’t until I began writing out my own story that I discovered my desire comes directly from having a difficult childhood with my own mom. Not having a support system while growing up meant that it was vital for me to create a life and family with a supportive cheerleader, where I was a part of the daily adventures, and not working. All. The. Time. It became an absolute focal point for me. Now that I recognize this choice coming from my own story, instead of wallowing in exhaustion or allowing despair to overwhelm me on the bad days, I know where my light and desire come from, and give thanks in it (maybe Paul was on to something when he spoke to the church of Thessalonica). We can wallow in the past hurts or find gratitude in how it shapes the future.

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2. Reframe your current struggle: Years ago, my gorgeous Yorkie passed away suddenly. I was heartbroken and over and over again, I’d think, “he was only 9, he should have lived another three years”. I felt cheated and the thoughts drove me crazy! One day I realized how detrimental that thinking was so I intentionally found something to be grateful for. Instead of the regret of three lost years, I remembered how THANKFUL I was for the nine years we DID have, remembering all the AMAZING adventures we’d had in that time. It didn’t take the pain away and didn’t change the situation, but it did make coping and going forward possible. Now on a day-today basis, instead of looking at a PILE of dirty dishes, I’m SO thankful that we have food to eat, that I’m not cooking or cleaning alone. Pots and pans got me down? I’m PRAISING GOD for electricity (or gas) to cook on the stove!

What part of your struggle can you reframe?

3. Give yourself permission to have faith: So you’ve brought your burdens to the Lord and laid them at His feet. You’ve sought solace in Him. Now give yourself permission to be at peace because of faith. Faith doesn’t mean we’ll get what we want; unless what we want is His Will for our lives. But what we can be assured of is that whatever He has planned for us is better than what we had in mind. Even if it doesn’t look like it right away. If the result isn’t looking like what we’d asked for, we can always be assured that the result isn’t up to us. It’s up to Him.

And in the midst of that knowledge, we find our rest.

Claire Winson is a copywriter and storyteller at Graphite & Grace while helping Christian biz women to find their voice and share their story through her Facebook group inspire.transform.influence. She lives in northern California with her son (and way more pets than she thinks is necessary).

Digging with invisible shovels By: Daphne Pettis

One day after being off social media for a few days I open up my profile and the first post that came across my timeline was one from my half-sister whom I share the same father.

SOCIAL MEDIA POST: Today would have been my grandmother's 95th birthday. She's been gone 15 years and I still miss her like yesterday. My grandma smelled like Chantilly, peppermint, and menthol cigarettes. She made the best German chocolate cake. She had gold in her dentures, and I thought she was rich and hip. She never grayed. She drank an occasional Stag, but I never saw her actually drink it. She taught me how to sew and would let me go to work with her as a matron for an all girls' high school. She fed me all my favorite foods, let me jump in the bed, and let me read at the table.

And even though she mostly listened to talk radio, she let me listen and sing songs like this (even though I had no idea what it meant đ&#x;˜‚) I miss her so much. I hope you are resting well Lil Mae (Liller Mae Terry 2/20/222/17/02).

After reading the post! I sent her a private message. Part of the message was as follows� Me: Hey sister! Which grandma were you referring to Sister: Your grandma silly... Daddy's Momma.

Me: I didn’t even know her name until today. I never knew her!

Her: WOW! I didn’t know that. I just assumed‌well so much for assumptions How can you miss what you never had? How can you mourn someone you never knew? Well, in that moment I missed her and mourned her. I missed and mourned a relationship that never happened. I missed and mourned her favorite color and sharing mine. I missed and mourned a love for baking and wondering if that was something we shared. Just maybe we could have shared, enlightened, embraced and enhanced each other’s lives. I never got a chance to learn “herstoryâ€?! Her truth. Her reality that only SHE could communicate with her words, thoughts and feelings.

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As I began to reread the post my eyes closed and I could vividly see, feel, and smell everything she wrote about. Tears began to fall uncontrollably. My t-shirt was filled and although I wanted to stop crying I could not.

With every tear there was a release, a cleansing. For every past her I thought about, for every time I wanted to hug her and couldn’t, for every event in my life I couldn’t share with her, for every summer we could have spent together, for every mother’s day, birthday, and holiday we didn’t share. For not being able to share my children and for them to know her as a great grand mother. Every description of her being. And at that moment although I would never physically meet her, I believe her spirit gave me something, sent me something we both needed. An opportunity to know, an opportunity to connect and opportunity to forgive. I knew at that moment a hole in my heart was finally healed. A hole that had unknowingly been there that had become a part of my existence. A not so pleasant part of the rejection and abandonment I had felt my entire life.

YOUR PERFECT LAKE-SIDE

Wedding

Generational cycles of dysfunction due to abandonment and rejection exist within families for different reasons. We unknowingly carry on these cycles by refusing to address even those things that we think don’t affect us. However, I challenge you to begin to think on those things that may be buried and bring things to the surface. You just may find the link to a hole you have not healed. Once the hole is exposed you can’t leave it open there is work that must be done. Bur don’t go at it alone. Journaling is always a starting point of getting down on paper your feelings. However, don’t stop there consider these few thingsI

Process it with a family member!

I know this sounds strange in dealing with family dysfunction and for some this may not be possible. But if it is it can be an important part of healing open holes. Not looking for someone to validate but to listen, share and help you process in your truth. We all have that one or two people in our family that allow us to be ourselves. You know that one that always seems to “keep it a little more real” than the other. For me to be able to continue the conversation with the sister mentioned inside and outside of the message allowed me to open up to a new level of healing. One that was not validated by my own dysfunction but to heal, release, and discontinue cycles.

Start your own journey!

IWhere do I begin? Why not partner with a strategist! Hey that’s Me! As a Family Transformation Strategist I can work with you to begin to chart your own path to healing from dysfunction. Tackling Family Dysfunction & the Breaking Free From the Dysfunction Within programs will help you dig deep and explore what dysfunctional cycles exist and what practical tools and resources will assist in your journey.

Take a 21 Day Soul Detox.

Yes, it sounds weird, but the 21 Day Soul Detox Experience through Color Your Soul founded by LaTara V. Bussey gave me an avenue to begin to break through some of the blurriness caused by the clutter of dysfunction. It is not only a starting point but an avenue of continued support and new revelation as you process.

Daphne Pettis is a Family Transformation Strategist Certified Soul Care Practitioner Master’s Degree Student/Human Service Counseling in Family Crisis & Trauma

CREATING STEPPING STONES By: Michal Slate FOR HIS GLORY

I was only 5 when, having already gone through childhood trauma, I watched my mother, suddenly single, struggling to survive with four young children.

Financially illiterate and devastated by her sudden change in circumstance, my mother worked day and night to feed, clothe, and protect us. She even left her nursing career to have more freedom and earning potential raising us by herself, but still, we never knew if our basic needs would be met. Guess this doesn’t really sound like a story about gratitude, does it? But it is. It’s the story of God’s amazing grace and how He can use our past to shape and form our future for His Glory (because what the enemy means for harm, the Lord can use for good (Genesis 50:20).

Who I became as an adult is rooted in these early lessons of hardship (isn’t it ironic how God’s lessons are wrapped up in our painful challenges?).

We couldn’t afford Girl Scouts, so I made up my own and went door to door selling packaged walnuts from my yard, cleaned houses and yards, and sold random items for money. It’s in our trials we find the Lord and our character is developed, “Because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope“ (Romans 5:3).What trials are currently shaping who you will become? No matter where you may be on your journey right now, know that the Lord sees you and is with you. Being Christian means that we acknowledge our fallen nature and know that we need a Savior. Our churches are filled with hurt people who are in need of repair, just like me. I am called to be Christ-like and be imperfectly me. And so are you.

God is Our Strength (Philippians 4:13)

When I turned 17 I realized that an education was the only way to make a better life for myself and those around me. With the help and support of my mother, older sister, and several teachers, I buckled down and graduated high school alongside my class.After high school I worked several jobs and tried to take night classes at a community college, but it wasn’t easy.

As a young adult I sold Mary Kay and other MLM businesses; but they failed. I had already come so far; but where would the Lord take me?One day a customer mentioned that her daughter would be attending Stanford University. Oh my gosh, I wanted to attend college so badly but I thought there was no way that I could make it happen. Then the woman looked me right in the eye and said, “You take one class at a time, and eventually you will have a degree”.These words of wisdom stuck and I took them to heart. And she was right. With God’s help, I was finally able to pull myself out of the financial hardships that had plagued me for almost my entire life.

Decades later I’ve built a successful career in the financial sector helping women who struggle with their finances to become financially independent.

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As hard as this situation was at the time, the experience and my mom’s wise words during that time instilled a strong work ethic and belief in me.Through my battles I’ve learned: Not to use our past as an excuse to waste our future; That we are in charge of our actions and choices; We can’t control what others try to do to us but we have control over how we respond; We can press on and we can move forward .And we can always be kind and generous. Always. Sister, wherever you are in your personal journey, trust in the Lord, He has a plan for your life. We are strengthened by our failures as we learn from them and work to pick others up who are facing things that we have once faced. This world is hard, but we are created in God’s image. Stay consistent in pursuing what God has placed on your heart, and never give in to the voice that tells you to worry about what other people think.We have no idea how He will use our circumstances for His Glory. Believe in His promises. He is your strength through it, He knows where you are, and He is always in control. So fix your eyes on Him, sweet sister.

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

Michal Slate (a biblical spelling for Michelle) offers judgement-free, grace-filled, practical advice about managing and investing money for women. As one of the few women in the US with both an MBA and a CFP , Michal has more than 13 years’ experience as a banker, investment advisor and Christian coach. She is the founder of Christ Focused Financial Planning and is a featured weekly mentor within the Christian Women Business Builders community. Michal lives in southern Oregon with her husband and adorable fur-baby, Walter.

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THE BEAUTY IN GRATITUDE BY: JANEL WOODSON, LE

As I was shopping, in the cosmetic area of course, a young woman who was a stranger to me overheard me say that I was an esthetician. She surprised me by saying that she wanted to pay for one of my makeup items because her sister who is deceased was studying to be an esthetician when she passed away. Wow!! This exchange brought about so many emotions and brought tears to my eyes! One of the emotions I felt was gratitude. I told her that, “Now I will pay it forward and do something to put an unexpected smile on another strangers face.�

When was the last time you felt real true gratitude?

There are so many things that happen to us in the course of a day that should make us feel grateful; some are big and sometimes it is in the little things that we find the most joy.I n honor of breast cancer awareness in the month of October, I would like to share my story.

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Janel P. Woodson is a licensed esthetician/makeup artist and also holds a bachelors degree in dance performance. She has been a licensed esthetician since 2005 and makeup artist since 1997. She has been a business manager for Lancôme cosmetics and has worked for other beauty and skincare lines such as Aveda, Clinique and Biologica. She loves helping women to feel confident not only in there appearance, but helping them to recognize that knowing God and his plan for your life is the most beautiful thing of all!!

One day I was having extreme pain in my lower back and went to the ER to be checked.

Well a week or so after my ER visit, I was told that my CT Scan from my ER visit showed something in my right breast. It was advised that I should have a mammogram done to find out what it might be. Well all I could think about was the fact that I was always current on my yearly mammograms and had just had one a few months before and there were no issues. After going back to my doctor for more testing and imaging, I was told that there was definitely something there and that I would need to have a breast biopsy done to make sure it was not cancer.

Cancer?! I did not want to hear that but I had prepared myself to hear those words.

Well... I had my breast biopsy done and praise God there was no cancer and no concerns, but what I found to be very interesting during this time is how many people asked me was I scared, especially as I waited for my results. I had a peace in my spirit that passes all understanding and only God can give us that. Some people looked at me sort of strange when I would simply say that God was using whatever he wanted to use in me for his glory and I surrendered and put it all in his hands. When I think of the beauty of what living a Christ-centered life can do for you, I feel nothing but gratitude because there is no other love better than what he gives to us, his children.

Ladies, what are you grateful for?

Ponder on that each and everyday and you will start to see the things that you have missed or have taken for granted. In honor of breast cancer awareness month, let’s have fun rocking some pink makeup! Now I know for some, hearing pink makeup scares you, lol, but remember there are pinks for every skin tone and complexion whether very fair or dark ebony. The fun is in trying on some new shades before you purchase. Go to the department store cosmetics counters and other places such as Sephora and Ulta where the estheticians and makeup artist let you play with colors and they can give you a quick makeover and show you what pinks are for you. Let's have fun and wear our prettiest pinks whether it be lipstick, blush, eyeshadow or mascara (yes I did say pink mascara) all of October and lets just remember to smile and be grateful because when we do both of those things happiness will surely have to come our way!!

Now go and rock your crown my beautiful Queens!!!

Is your physical fitness getting on your praise?

BY: THERESA HORNE

To the fitness device users have you ever been in praise and worship and had your Apple Watch or Fit Bit ask you if you were working out?

When was the last time your arms were sore from lifting them up in thanksgiving?

Expressing our gratitude and thanksgiving can be physical work. I would like to suggest two approaches to Gratitude Training that may motivate you to move.

TRAINING TO PRAISE Expressing thanksgiving can be physical.

We stand, lift our hands, dance and for many others it can be physical work. If you have a limited level of fitness your praise could be stifled. For substantial health benefits, The Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion recommends adults should do at least 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) to 300 minutes (5 hours) a week of moderate-intensity. We can translate that into 30 to 60 minutes, 5 days a week. If you are new to exercise or returning after a break, walking is the perfect introduction exercise. Soldiers in the army of the Lord, we need to get training. If the idea of training to Praise is not motivating, how about training as Praise.

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HAVE YOU EVER PRAISED THE LORD SO HARD YOU BROKE OUT IN A SWEAT?

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TRAINING AS PRAISE If God woke you up this morning and started you on your way then you have a reason to be thankful. Why not express that gratitude with a walk. Walking as an act of gratitude and thanksgiving can be a powerful time. You can listen to praise and worship music or do the walk in silence thanking God for all the things He has done and is doing in your life. On my Worship walks I often think on Romans 12:1 I present myself to you as a living sacrifice. I am showing up to walk as an act of gratitude to the One who gave me the ability to walk.

Let’s approach physical training as an act of thanksgiving. I am so thankful to have the movement of my body and the ability to walk, and move. How can I not walk for you God! Whether you are training to be able to give physical gratitude or training as an act of gratitude I hope you will find one of these motivational to move forward in thanksgiving.

"I BESEECH YOU THEREFORE, BRETHREN, BY THE MERCIES OF GOD, THAT YOU PRESENT YOUR BODIES A LIVING SACRIFICE, HOLY, ACCEPTABLE TO GOD, WHICH IS YOUR REASONABLE SERVICE." PSALM 9:1

Theresa Horne is a Certified Personal Trainer -National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM), Fitness Nutrition Specialist (NASM) and owner of Sisterhood of Strong where she coaches her clients in creating the habits of holistic health by eliminating barriers to living a healthy lifestyle. Follow https://www.facebook.com/sisterhoodofstrong/ andhttps://www.instagram.com/sisterhoodofstrong/

A Heart of Gratitude.

WORDS BY GRATITEA PHOTOS BY GRATITEA

How would you describe the posture of your heart today?

Is it full of…Joy & peace, Worries & fears,Or, just tired…The posture of our heart holds importance because it gives insight into how we speak, behave and make decisions. Take a deep breath and reflect on whether the way you are feeling transpires into how you are living out your purpose.As Proverbs 4:23 highlights, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” The book of Proverbs is such an amazing source of wisdom, if you have not read this book we strongly encourage you to! This verse speaks such truth that whatever we inhabit in our hearts, we manifest into our lives. November being a month of thanksgiving, we want to focus on a heart of Gratitude.

When we host the presence of Gratitude, we are in essence saying “Thank-you God…I trust your plans & timing over my life.”On the other hand, when we complain or grumble over our circumstances, does that mean we don’t trust the Lord? No! We are humans with emotions. The negative emotions are byproducts from a lack of understanding. Which is ok, because we will not always understand God’s ways over the details of our lives until he reveals it to us. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. When we practice Faith & Gratitude, we are giving God full authority over our lives. This allows us to come to a place of surrender and trust. Knowing that whatever is happening in life, we are confident that God is in control and that he is for us and not against us. Gratitude is like a muscle that needs to be trained and cultivated.

Practical tips for cultivating gratitude include : S p e n d i n g

time

with God (Super important!)Be still, reflect & journal Write 3 things a day you are grateful for (checkout our GratiTea Sticky)Be a light by speaking life into someoneWhen you can steward the little that God places in front of you, then can He trust you with more!

Remember, you have a choice, you can complain over life circumstances or express gratitude for the little blessings of each day. There is always a silver lining, even in the midst of trials.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Grateful Heart is good medicine!

Love, GratiTea

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Hello! We are so excited to meet you and share our story in hopes to empower you. If this is the first time stumbling upon us, we encourage you to check out our website (www.gratitea.ca) and let’s get connected!

At GratiTea, we are more than tea. We are a lifestyle! What does that mean? We believe holistic health comes from finding balance in all areas of life. Our core values include:Nurturing Relationships- with the Lord, others & selfFueling the body- proper nutrition, fitness & restExercising the mind- feed your brain but not with junkEmbrace emotions- whether positive or negative…process and release in a healthy way Practicing gratitude- being thankful for even the little things in lifeAll the above hold importance, but we want to highlight our relationship with the Lord as the core of our being and identity. Speaking from personal experience, God has brought me through various seasons in life where he not only molded my character but taught me crazy Faith! Life is a journey, so we will continue to learn nuggets along the way.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned to date is IDENTITY. Where is your identity found in? God has taught me that life without him is truly so empty, no material blessings can replace the joy that comes only from a relationship with the Lord. In the midst of building GratiTea, I kept receiving that revelation. I’ve known it in my head for years, but this time it tugged on the heart. There is so much to share of my testimony of how good and patient God is, but that is for another time! With that being said, we envision GratiTea to not only be a tea company, but an experience of encountering the Lord deeper and growing in your identity as a child of God as you grab your cup of GratiTea and sit with Him. Visit our shop for the beautiful one of a kind blends (www.gratitea.ca).

Each flavor is handcrafted uniquely and inspired by the Fruits of the Spirit. Let’s make kingdom impact together! May you allow us to sharpen one another so we can be a light to this world! Connect with us on IG (@grati.tea), and please tag us on any precious moments you have with GratiTea & any God moments as well!