THE FIGHT SOCAL'S LGBTQ MONTHLY MAGAZINE AUGUST 2016 by The Fight Magazine

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THECONTENTS

On The Cover

20 FORGING NEW NORMS

CHARLIE MATULA, LEVI PACKER, STEVEN FLOREZ, CODY EVAN SILVER

22 EMBRACING THE DADDY WITHIN

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS: NEW STUDY LEADING THE WAY TO A BETTER LIFE

LOCATION: BENT HALSTEAD HOUSE, COURTESY OF JON WRIGHT AND ERIC WOMACK

24 CULTURAL WARRIORS

COVER PHOTO, TOC PHOTO AND FEATURE PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM

28 EVEN DADDIES NEED DADDIES

Features 15 SUMMER PRIDES

DTLA PROUD FESTIVAL, VENTURA COUNTY

16 PENCE’S ANTI-GAY CRUSADE

TRUMP’S VP CHOICE MIKE PENCE

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INTERGENERATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS THE EAGLE L.A.’S CHARLIE MATULA

34 KID AT HEART

L.A. LGBT CENTER’S JIM KEY

36 LIFE LESSONS

DJ, PROMOTER VICTOR RODRIGUEZ

38 LEADERSHIP ROLES

MENSWEAR DESIGNER DANIEL SHEEHAN

Departments 10 THE LETTERS READERS RESPOND 12 THE TALK JONATHAN GROFF 14 THE CITY MENINGITIS VACCINE 18 THE ROSTOW REPORT NAUGHTY TEACHERS 26 THE SPREAD TOM PARDOE, JOE ARELLANO 32 THE EPIDEMIC PROMISING RESULTS 33 THE TRANSACTION SARAH MCBRIDE 40 THE SCENE THE WAREHOUSE 42 THE SHARE LOCAL SOBRIETY 44 THE JOYSTICK GAMING DADDIES 46 THE EVENT MR. CSW LEATHER CONTEST 48 THE CALENDAR OUT & ABOUT 40 THE FINAL FIGHT THOMAS VALLS

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THEEDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Tom Pardoe Rina Zaide Joe Faragher SOCIAL MEDIA Paulo Murillo Sinan Shihabi WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio >> IN THIS ISSUE <<

“As I grew older, and the gray hair and wrinkles slowly started to appear, I resisted the title of ‘daddy’ when it was directed toward me,” reveals Mr. Los Angeles Leather 2016 Jeffrey Erdman (“Embracing The Daddy Within,” pages 22-23). “Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to accept that I was aging. Perhaps it was because it connoted the “lecherous men” we had been told to fear. Perhaps it was my fear of being pushed into that category of the forgotten generation,” confides Erdman. “In time, however, I came to embrace the label. In time… I came to recognize that being a ‘daddy’ was actually about my being a natural mentor and caregiver for others,” writes Erdman. “It has become an opportunity to teach and to lead a younger generation – and to be a role model for how to age with dignity and grace. I encourage them to live life honestly and proudly, without fear of judgment or shame. And most of all, I teach them about a broader definition of ‘family’ and the need for us to take care of one another during a time when we as a community still

face significant challenges.” Continuing the focus on daddy issues this month—Dr. Steve Ganzell writes about intergenerational relationships (“Cultural Warriors,” pages 24-25). “Most of us try to hide our attractions because we have been taught to be ashamed of them by those who seek to control us and then sell the solutions to our misery,” states Ganzell. “BUT there are cultural warriors who refuse to conform to the norms that make others comfortable. Realizing that your mother and your partner graduated from high school the same year, may be unusual but it is not pathological.” “You and your partner may not share the same taste in music but who cares when your lover has spent 20 years learning the nuance and subtleties of how to be a good sexual partner,” writes Ganzell. “The joy of sharing something exciting for the first time with someone you love is a wonderful experience and more than makes up for the fact that your interests in gaming may be disparate.” The bottom line—states Ganzell: “Don’t let ANYBODY shame you into not following your passion.”

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Sinan Shihabi GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2016 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001

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THECONTRIBUTORS >> WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS <<

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. DUSTI CUNNINGHAM Los Angeles based photographer Dusti Cunningham grew up in a very clean single-wide trailer home in rural Kansas. His family didn’t own television so they watched tornadoes. None of his dogs were named Toto. Dolly Parton and his mother were his heroes, both wore wigs. His inspirations are gypsies, pirates, circuses, 1970s glamour, and the National Enquirer. www.dusticunningham.com. JOSEPH ARELLANO A stage and film actor from Bedford, Indiana, Joe has been involved in community events such as The Friendly House Luncheon, PATH, and LA PRIDE. Joe has appeared in Titus Andronicus, Dark Side of the Moon, and Take

Arellano

Murillo

Rostow

Shucart

Cunningham

Lyonne

Ganzell

Me Out. He also co-starred in the music video Hopeful Romantic, Hallmarks’ Holly’s Holiday, and other various short films. BRENDEN SHUCART Brenden Shucart is an HIV AIDS-LGBT rights advocate, actor, and writer whose work has been featured in Out There,The Advocate and HIV Plus magazine among others. His essays around HIV-related health issues and stigma have been described as “humanizing and heartbreaking” and “beautiful, honest, and important.” As an actor Shucart has appeared in the short film “Bug Chaser,” James Franco and Travis Mathews’ “Interior. Leather Bar.,”

Valls

Erdman

and Mathews’ 2010 short film “I Want Your Love.” ORLY LYONNE Orly Lyonne is a freelance journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art. Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@gmail.com. DR. STEVE GANZELL Dr. Steve Ganzell is a board member of Christopher Street West (CSW), the organization that produces LA Pride. Additionally, he “works in a large federal healthcare system providing mental health services and training other

providers. It has been my dream job because I have been allowed to do new and creative things and to work with fascinating people. I have often described my job is sitting on sacred ground and hearing things that no one else will ever hear.” THOMAS VALLS Thomas Valls is a CubanAmerican playwright from Miami, Florida. A graduate of NYU with degrees in Psychology and Writing for TV, he now resides in Los Angeles, where he continues to develop plays and stories about leather daddies, the bygone Era of Disney World, and Santeria. www.thomasdanielvalls.com JEFFREY ERDMAN Jeffrey Erdman has been a practicing attorney for more than 20 years and has been a proud and prominent member of the LGBT community. In addition to his work with a variety of community organizations, and a LGBT advocate among the legal bench and bar, Jeffrey has served on the board for the ONE Archives Foundation for the past ten years. Last year, Jeffrey won Mr. Christopher Street West Leather 2016 and went on to win Mr. Los Angeles Leather 2016 this past April. Jeffrey has dedicated his service as a titleholder to expanding awareness and funding for services for older LGBT adults.

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THELETTERS >> FROM OUR READERS <<

The HEALTHY Integrating Subst Alternative For and Primary Care Se HAIR LOSS Courageous an MICRO HAIR INSPIRES PEOPLE

Dear Editor, I am so happy you guys have expanded your boundaries to include those gay brothers and sisters who have it far worse than we do (“Hello From The Other Side,” THE FIGHT, Issue #66). It further inspires people to do more, to do better, and to be grateful. Too often we shun the serious because it dampens our party mood. I SO congratulate you for printing this informed, heartfelt article! —Joel Peel, via the internet

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Dear Editor, I read the transcript excerpts of online chats with the young Arab man with a lump in my throat (“Hello From The Other Side,” THE FIGHT, Issue #66). I lived for a year in the middle east as a teenager (my father was transferred there for a job) and I saw how incredibly dangerous it is to live openly there as a gay man. I am not sure what can be done—as I doubt that area of the world will embrace same sex equality any time soon (aside from Israel, of course). I wish the USA and other western countries would be more open to granting asylum to the LGBTQ community living under these conditions, in fear for their lives. —Kyle Redman, via the internet

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Dear Editor, Kudos to city commissioner Patty Sheehan for calling out GOP politicians for their hypocrisy after the Orlando massacre (“Heartless,” THE FIGHT, Issue #66). There is a special place in hell for those politicians who expressed “sympathy” for the victim’s families and then turned around and voted against sensible gun control. Absolutely agree with Sheehan when she said: “You loaded those bullets with hatred, as far as I’m concerned.” —Brad Ronaldo, via the internet

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THETALK >> W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G <<

DON’T PRETEND

PETER THIEL

“I am proud to be gay; I am proud to be a Republican; but most of all, I’m proud to be an American… I don’t pretend to agree with every plank in our party’s platform.” —PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel at the GOP convention last month. The Republican party has adopted the most anti-LGBT platform in party history, reaffirming its position that marriage is a union strictly “between one man and one woman,” while referring to the Obama administration’s position on transgenBILLY CRYSTAL der bathroom access as “illegal, dangerous, and ignores privacy issues.” The platform states, “We salute the several states which have filed suit against it.”

BELITTLING OUR LIVES

“Many of the speakers [at the GOP convention last month] who mentioned LGBTQ people have built their political careers leading anti-LGBTQ campaigns and belittling our lives.” —Human Rights Campaign communications director Jay Brown, in a statement last month to “The Fix.”

THEY ATTACKED ME

“At first, I was sad. Second, angry. I am very angry because people are homophobic, so they attacked my community. They attacked me.” —Gay boxer Orlando Cruz, in an interview last month. Cruz will be dedicating his upcoming July 15 fight to the victims of the ORLANDO Pulse shooting in Orlando, which claimed CRUZ the lives of 49 people. Cruz, who lives in Puerto Rico with his partner, had four friends who died in the tragedy.

“I believe that the church not only should apologize to the person who is gay whom it has offended but has to apologize to the poor, to exploited women, to children exploited for labor; it has to ask forgiveness for having blessed many weapons.” —Pope Francis’ response to a reporter’s question, that some are hailing as a breakthrough in the church’s POPE tone toward homosexuality. FRANCIS

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“We need to acknowledge and be very clear who this attack targeted: The Latino LGBT community… What does that mean? Well among other things, it means that it is still dangerous to be LGBT in America” —Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton at a meeting with Orlando community leaders, friends, and family members of victims of the mass shooting at Pulse HILLARY CLINTON nightclub, which claimed 49 lives of predominantly LGBT and Latino people on June 12. Afterward, Clinton left flowers at a memorial at the Pulse nightclub and met with first responders.

AMERICAN VALUES

JAY BROWN

ASK FORGIVENESS

NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE

“Equality and inclusivity are not experiments. They are American values.” —Secretary of the Army Eric Fanning, the first openly gay person to lead a branch of the military, at San Diego Pride last month, striking back at those who claim the armed forces are engaging in “social experimentation” by embracing LGBT and women’s equality.

ERIC FANNING

WHERE YOU FIT

“Being gay and in every scene having to explore gay identity, you can’t help but think of your own gay identity and of where you fit in the community.” —“Looking” actor Jonathan Groff on how the gaycentric HBO series helped him come to terms with his sexuality.

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THECITY >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

NEON TREES

HEALTH OFFICIALS: GET MENINGITIS VACCINE Los Angeles and Orange County health officials are calling for all gay and bisexual men who have sex with men (MSM) to get meningitis vaccinations, amid an outbreak of the potentially fatal disease in Southern California areas. The vaccine was previously recommended for people with HIV and others who were considered at high-risk. Thirteen meningitis cases have been reported this year in the L.A. county. Seven of those cases were MSM. The L.A. County Department of Public Health offers free meningococcal vaccine to L.A. County residents without health insurance. For a listing of clinics, call the L.A. County Information Line at 2-1-1 from any cell phone or landline in Los Angeles County.

GAY MAN MURDERED IN ECHO PARK Frank Rogers, a gay man known and respected within the L.A. recovery community, who FRANK ROGERS was 4 years sober, was allegedly murdered at his sober living home in Echo Park, by his friend Nicholas James Bowling, (aka Nick James). According to reports, Bowling overpowered Rogers in a chokehold and did not let go unit Rogers was dead. Police are calling his death the result of a domestic dispute, however, some sources say that though there may have been some sort of sexual relationship, the two were never romantically involved. Bowling made headlines in August, 2012, after he stole a police car and crashed it into a pole on San Vicente and La Brea, where he lost both of his legs. He was arrested last month for Rogers’s death, with a bail of $2,000,000.

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WEHO WINS EMMY AWARD West Hollywood can add Emmy Award winner to the city’s many accomplishments after walking away with Emmy gold during the Los Angeles Area Emmy Awards presentation in the category of Public Service Announcement (PSA) for the City’s WeHoTV Channel’s MAYOR OF 60-second video: Winter is Here! But WEST HOLLYWOOD the Drought is Far From Over. LAUREN MEISTER Mayor of West Hollywood Lauren Meister, Director of Communications Lisa Marie Belsanti, Public Information Officer Joshua Schare, and Assistant to the City Manager Janet Jimenez accepted the award on behalf of the city. The Emmy Award-Winning PSA is a parody on HBO’s Emmy winning series Game of Thrones. The video is available to view on the City’s WeHoTV YouTube Channel.

GATHERING FEEDBACK ON LA PRIDE The City of West Hollywood conducted a three-minute online survey and held a community forum last month to encourage a conversation and gather feedback on the annual LA Pride festival and parade in West Hollywood, which is produced by Christopher Street West (CSW). The second community forum scheduled for August 17, at 6:30pm at the WeHo Hollywood Park Auditorium will focus on the future of LA Pride in West Hollywood. For more information about the upcoming forum contact the City’s Events Services Division at (323) 848-6495.

BOARD OF ED NEW LGBT GUIDELINES The California State Board of Education announced last month that it has adopted a new HistorySocial Science Framework. The framework sets out guidelines for K-12 schools to implement content standards for history and social science instruction. Among the many changes made to the framework is that LGBT people and their contributions to California and U.S. history are accurately represented for the first time. “Through our partnership with school districts across the state, we have witnessed the laborious but triumphant emergence of leaders in school communities advocating for LGBT-inclusive history,” said Joey Hernández, educational policy and programs manager at the Los Angeles LGBT Center. “Now, with the aid of the new framework, we no longer have to depend solely on these leaders as examples, but look forward to them joining a statewide foundation of inclusive classrooms.”

>> DTLA PROUD FESTIVAL & VENTURA COUNTY PRIDE <<

SUMMER PRIDES DTLA Proud Festival, Sunday, August 7. Ventura County Pride, Saturday, August 20, 2016. BY O RLY LYO N N E

he DTLA Proud Festival takes place this month on August 7 at Pershing Square Park in downtown Los Angeles. According to the event organizers the festival “will showcase the best that downtown has to offer through 40 community booths (10 local restaurants, 15 local retail shops and 15 LGBT community groups), a main stage programmed by the burgeoning and established LGBT nightlife, and grounded by a pop-up water park

for all to enjoy.” “Our goal is to create a festival that represents the diverse LGBTQ population that lives, works and plays downtown.” For more info visit: dtlaproudfestival.org. Also this month—Diversity Collective presents Ventura County Pride on Saturday, August 20, 2016 at Promenade Park, Ventura.

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The festival features a Food Truck Show, a wide variety of entertainment, an enhanced adults-only experience, and several vendors. This year’s entertainment will be led by the world-renowned Celebrity Impersonator Michael L. Walters as DAME EDNA. He’ll be bringing his “... dead-on homage to the famous saucy Aussie!” to the stage as the Master of the Festival. Another talented artist, Raja Gemini, the crown winner of Season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, will be the featured headliner. For more info visit: diversitycollectivevc.org/pride.html.

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>> MIKE PENCE <<

servative House members, Pence rose in support of a constitutional amendment that would have defined marriage as between a man and a woman. Citing a Harvard researcher, Pence said in his speech, “societal collapse was always brought about following an advent of the deterioration of marriage and family.” Pence also called being gay a choice and said keeping gays from marrying was not discrimination, but an enforcement of “God’s idea.”

He opposed a law that would prohibit discrimination against LGBT people in the workplace. The Employment Non-Discrimination Act would have banned discrimination against people based on sexual orientation. Pence voted against that law in 2007 and later said the law “wages war on freedom and religion in the workplace.” More than 20 years after the bill was first introduced, the Senate approved the proposal in 2013, but the bill failed in the House.

PENCE’S ANTI-GAY CRUSADE Here’s why Trump’s VP choice Mike Pence is awful for the LGBTQ community. BY VICTO R MELA MED

ndiana Gov. Mike Pence, Donald Trump’s running mate, attracted national attention last year when he signed a religious freedom law that members of the LGBT community said could worsen discrimination against them. After criticism from the business community, Pence signed an amendment to the law intended to protect gays and lesbians. But it was not his first brush with criticism from the LGBT community, explains Will Drabold from time.com. A self-described “Christian, a conservative and a Republican, in that order,” the former member of Congress was a prominent conservative figure in battles over marriage equality and equal rights in the last decade. Here are some of the statements and positions Pence had has related to LGBT issues.

He said gay couples signaled “societal collapse.” In 2006, as head of the Republican Study Committee, a group of the 100 most-con1 6 TTHHEE FFIIGH www.thefightmag.com 16 GH TT || www.thefightmag.com

He opposed the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Pence favored the longtime military policy of not letting soldiers openly identify as gay. In 2010, Pence told CNN he did not want to see the military become “a backdrop for social experimentation.” The policy ended in 2011.

He supports so-called “gay conversion” therapy. In 2000, when Pence ran for Congress successfully in Indiana, he proposed that Ryan White Act Money intended for organizations providing HIV/AIDS care be redirected from organizations that support LGBT rights to “those institutions which provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior.”

He rejected the Obama administration directive on transgender bathrooms. In May, the federal government directed school districts to allow students to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with. The directive came as criticism crescendoed around a North Carolina law that would have restricted the use of bathrooms. Along with many other conservatives, Pence opposed Obama’s directive and said it was a state issue. “The federal government has not business getting involved in issues of this nature,” Pence said.

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AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 17

THEROSTOWREPORT >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

NAUGHTY TEACHERS PARTIALLY VINDICATED

I’m not even sure exactly which two lawsuits I’m writing about. And nor do I care. It’s August! I should mention, however, that a federal appellate court victory for a Virginia transboy that coincided with the passage of North Carolina’s HB2 has been appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision, by a split panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit last March, said a Virginia school district may not exclude the boy from the male bathrooms and locker rooms without violating Title IX, the 1972 law that guarantees gender equity in public schools and colleges. Note also that the ruling in favor of the boy will remain in effect while the High Court decides whether to take the case.

appy August to all you readers of THE FIGHT. A marvelous month of lassitude and heat, a little timeless, a little dreamy. Can you tell I’m writing you from a vacation spot on the beach? It’s true. Our theme song for this family interlude is one of my stepson Nathan’s favorites, a little ditty called “Day Drinking.” So before we delve into the LGBT events of recent weeks, I have just read some good news about the two lesbian teachers in Brooklyn who were caught having sex during an evening school concert in a back classroom by the handyman. French teacher Cindy Mauro and Spanish prof Alini Brito insisted that the topless escapade was all a misunderstanding and that Mauro was simply trying to help her colleague recover from an episode of diabetic shock. Sadly, no one believed their story. They were both fired and had their careers suspended; Brito for one year, Mauro inexplicably for two. Now a judge has ruled that the suspensions were uncalled for since the two women were adults. Further, the extra punishment doled out to Mauro for being “without remorse” and a “bad role model,” was “irrational,” the judge said. So yay! I liked them instinctively. Also, I should note that I can’t find the original story now, so I can’t check on which teacher taught French and which teacher taught Spanish. I took a guess back there but I might be wrong.

CAROLINA CALAMITY CONTINUES

eanwhile, New Zealand authorities have embarked on a program to rid the country of “predators” by 2050. For

FRENCH TEACHER CINDY MAURO AND SPANISH PROF ALINI BRITO INSISTED THAT THE TOPLESS ESCAPADE WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING AND THAT MAURO WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO HELP HER COLLEAGUE RECOVER FROM AN EPISODE OF DIABETIC SHOCK. SADLY, NO ONE BELIEVED THEIR STORY. some reason, I believe this exercise will have unintended consequences, don’t you? Not to mention that the Kiwis plan to kill a slew of feral cats in the process. Meow. No, there’s nothing LGBT about that, but it’s important nonetheless. If you must know our community’s latest, I gather the NBA has removed next year’s All Star Game from North Carolina as punishment for HB2, the Tarheel ban on bathrooms. At first I thought, “how nice,” but once I realized that the All Star Game puts something like

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$100 million into the state’s economy, I thought “Yes! You go NBA!” I also thought that there are a lot more people interested in the All Star Game than I would have guessed. I mean, it’s not like it counts towards the season. And speaking of North Carolina, two of those dueling lawsuits have been set for trial in November. Feels like a long time from now. Also, since there are now a zillion lawsuits surrounding the myriad questions of transrights, Title IX funding, privacy, the preemption of civil rights laws post-Romer, and the like,

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH

n other High Court news of interest, guess who’s also asking the Supremes to hear a gay-related case? It’s none other than our old buddy from the antigay Masterpiece Cake store in Lakewood, Colorado, Jack Phillips, who can’t accept the fact that he keeps losing his state court fights against Colorado’s anti-discrimination law. Now Phillips insists that forcing him to make a gay wedding cake would strip his First Amendment rights away, first because he is being denied an artistic right of free speech and second because he is being punished for his faith. Interestingly, the High Court has already been asked to look into one of these gay-bashing business cases, and they have refused. That denial came a couple of years ago in the case of a New Mexico photographer who did not want to take an assignment for two lesbian brides, and who claimed that her photography was as much an art form as a business. Here again, our baker boy suggests that wedding cake design is far more than a simple commercial trans-

> > N A U G H T Y T E A C H E R S , C A R O L I N A C A L A M I T Y, R O C K Y M O U N TA I N H I G H , T H E D AY I S Y O U N G < <

action, but indeed some kind of profound self expression. I have a tiny amount of sympathy for this argument, but very tiny. If the two grooms in the Colorado case had asked for Phillips to design the cake from scratch using his imagination as a testament to their love, that would be one thing. However, since they just wanted to buy a standard wedding cake, we’re not talking art, we’re talking flour and sugar. In fact, I’m not sure what specifications were made here, but my impression is that Phillips declined their business without discussing the cake at all. Finally, the Masterpiece Cake lawyers from the Alliance Defending Freedom like to point out that Jewish bakers wouldn’t make a swastika cake blah blah blah. The only problem is that no one is ever forced to make a special order like that in the first

place and it’s not discriminatory to refuse one. But would it be discriminatory to refuse to sell a standard cupcake to a Nazi? Um, actually no. Gays and lesbians are protected against bias in public accommodation under Colorado law. White supremacists and fascists are not.

THE DAY IS YOUNG

actually have another cake story on my news list, an outfit in Toledo, Ohio called “Take the Cake” that refused to sell a birthday cake to a lesbian. But I think we’ve been there, done that for this column. Still. No birthday cake for a gay customer? That’s low. My mind, however, is fresh with the memory of Michelle Obama’s watchwords: “When they go low, we go high.” So let’s go high. Cocktails all around.

Sing with me: “I think you know what—I’m thinking....I want to do a little—day drinking.” I was going to write about how conservative Pepperdine University has bucked the recent trend of Christian colleges seeking religious exemptions to Title IX by withdrawing its own, earlier, request for a faith-based waiver. But I’ve decided against it. Why? Just read the above paragraph! It’s too cumbersome, too complicated, too involved. I’d have to write about six explanatory graphs about Title IX only to eventually make the point that it is now becoming a liability to be publicly hostile to the LGBT community. The bottom line is that Pepperdine doesn’t want to find itself on the short list of universities that have gone out of their way to win the right to discriminate against gays. That list is public. And it’s becoming

toxic, much like North Carolina has become toxic. I was also going to write about the status of marriage equality in Australia, but that story is also becoming tedious. They just had an election over there, and it was so close it left the government divided. The good guys had pledged to call a parliamentary vote on marriage, which would likely pass. The bad guys had pledged to hold a non-binding public vote on marriage equality, a lengthy, unnecessary, divisive and possibly useless exercise. Now it seems that neither outcome will happen any time soon, although the public vote might be scheduled for next year, and some good guys might manage to get a vote going in parliament. But it all seems uncertain and beyond my limited capacity for exposition. So, no more about Australia...or anything else for that matter! n

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> > O P E N R E L AT I O N S H I P S < <

FORGINGNEW NORMS

A new study suggests that open relationships among gay couples could bring a couple closer together. BY VICTO R MELA MED

hile open relationships are much more prevalent among gay couples compared to heterosexual couples, there is often still stigma attached to such relationships. And some continue to wonder whether sex and love can ever be separated, reports www.towleroad.com. In June 2015, reports The Guardian, Christopher Stults, a researcher at The Center for Health, Identity, Behavior, and Prevention Studies at New York University, launched a qualitative study of 10 gay couples in open relationships. He conducted 45-minute, individual interviews with each of these men and their partners, who ranged in age from 19 to 43. The study, funded by the Rural Center for AIDS/STD Prevention at Indiana University, had multiple aims. “We wanted to see how these relationships form and evolve over time, and examine the perceived relationship quality, relationship satisfaction, and potential risk for HIV/STI infection,” says Stults, who finished coding the interviews this week at NYU and hopes to have the study published early next year. So far, reports The Guardian, Stults says his finding is that non-monogamous relationships can lead to a happier, more fulfilling relationship. “My impression so far is that they don’t seem less satisfied, and it may even be that their communication is better than among monogamous couples because they’ve had to negotiate specific details,” Stults says. And open relationships “don’t seem to put gay men at disproportionate risk for HIV and other STDs,” Stults says. “To my knowledge, no one contracted HIV and only one couple contracted an STD,” he says. The stigma of being an open relationship, however does persist. Said Hugh McIntyre, a New York man in an open relationship interviewed by The Guardian, “We’ve run into gay and straight people who have assumed our relationship is ‘lesser than’ because we’re not monogamous. I think that’s offensive and ridiculous.” Most of the couples included in the study said that setting and sticking to a set of rules was key for making the open relationship work. Brian Norton, a psychotherapist who specializes in gay couples and an adjunct professor at

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MOST OF THE COUPLES INCLUDED IN THE STUDY SAID THAT SETTING AND STICKING TO A SET OF RULES WAS KEY FOR MAKING THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP WORK. Columbia University’s department of counseling and clinical psychology, had doubts about the efficacy of open relationships, saying, “Sex is an emotional experience. There is emotion at play, and even in the most transactional experience someone can get attached.” Michael Bronski, a professor in the department of women, gender and sexuality at Harvard University, however, said it’s not surprising gay men have turned to open relationships: “Because they’ve been excluded from traditional notions of sexual behavior, they’ve had to be trendsetters and forge their own relationship norms.” Wherever you stand on the subject, opines www.towleroad.com, it’s probably a good idea to take this study (and all popularized “scientific studies”) with a grain of salt.

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AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 21

>> LEATHERMEN <<

of men to HIV and those that did survive were often shamed for their sexuality—generations of so-called “promiscuous” men driven into the shadows. Indeed, having first discovered my sexuality in 1981, my entire life had been defined by HIV and the drive to stop it. Shame and stigma drove huge wedges between generations of men and we looked on with suspicion whenever we saw men dare to challenge the new acceptable norms of sex and intergenerational relationships. There seem to be a great divide among generations of LGBT people.

A NATURAL MENTOR

G N I C A R B M E THE DADDY WITHIN If we all work together, we can secure a better life and a better future for generations of LGBT people. B Y JEFFREY ERD MA N | PH O TO BY D U STI CUNNI NGHAM

hen I ran for Mr. Los Angeles Leather this year, and later International Mister Leather (IML), I was fast approaching the age of 53. Like many may men of my generation, I never thought I would even be alive at this age—let alone embracing life as a leather daddy—strutting

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around on stage in a jock strap and speaking openly about my sex life. But here I am, and I am having the time of my life. Of course, it hasn’t always been so easy for me to be so open as an aging gay man. Coming of age in Los Angeles, I had few older role models to look to as examples of successful aging. We lost generations

As I grew older, and the gray hair and wrinkles slowly started to appear, I resisted the title of “daddy” when it was directed toward me. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to accept that I was aging. Perhaps it was because it connoted the “lecherous men” we had been told to fear. Perhaps it was my fear of being pushed into that category of the forgotten generation. In time, however, I came to embrace the label. In time, however, I came to recognize that being a “daddy” was actually about my being a natural mentor and caregiver for others. It has become an opportunity to teach and to lead a younger generation—and to be a role model for how to age with dignity and grace. I encourage them to live life honestly and proudly, without fear of judgment or shame. And most of all, I teach them about a broader definition of “family” and the need for us to take care of one another during a time when we as a community still face significant challenges. We all need to work hard keep our young people safe and healthy—educated, off the streets, away from abusive homes and violence and free of drug addiction. Alone, it seems like a monumental task. But while we work to protect new generations of LGBT adults, who are destined to become our community leaders and role models, we have an equally important obligation to make positive change for the older generations who have come before. Recent estimates suggest that there are at least 1.5 million lesbian, gay and bisexual people in the U.S. who are 65 and older, and this population will double by the year 2030. Unfortunately, older LGBT adults face poverty in disproportionate high rates, often as a direct result of a lifetime of employment discrimination, and they are more likely to suffer from social isolation as compared to older straight adults. Older gay adults are twice as likely to live alone,

>> JEFFERY ERDMAN <<

twice as likely to be single, and three to four times more likely to have no children that can help in times of need. Older gay people also deal with significant health disparities as compared to older straight adults, including physical conditions that are compounded by reduced access to healthcare, and many conditions are dramatically worsened by longterm HIV. In fact, more than one half of the people in the US living with HIV are 50 or older.

A BETTER LIFE Many mainstream aging providers do not account for the unique realities and needs of LGBT older adults, leaving them at higher risk for isolation, neglect and discrimination. A recent national survey of LGBT older adults in long-term care facilities found that only a minority of respondents felt they could be open about their LGBT identities, while a large majority felt that providers would discriminate against them based on their sexual orientations and/or gender identities. Indeed, many respondents reported instances of mistreatment by providers that knew their sexual orientation. LGBT-inclusive

AS I GREW OLDER, AND THE GRAY HAIR AND WRINKLES SLOWLY STARTED TO APPEAR, I RESISTED THE TITLE OF “DADDY” WHEN IT WAS DIRECTED TOWARD ME. PERHAPS IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS AGING. aging services help offset these problems by providing spaces for LGBT elders to find community and support—but they are sparse and underfunded. A 2010 nationwide

survey found that less than 8 percent of service providers offered services targeted to LGBT older adults and only 12 percent reported outreach efforts to this population. All of this tells us that we need to do more for our elders. Our obligation to care for our own extends to all generations of our community, young and old alike. We need to embrace the “daddy” within, regardless of age, and lead the way to a better life for all generations of LGBT people. One way to begin is by supporting the work of organizations like The LGBT Center of Los Angeles and SAGE (Services and Advocacy for LGBT Elders), both of which are providing direct services to our elders as well as expanding awareness of the needs and sensitivities of older LGBT adults within the broader senior services providers. Or just make the time to engage one another in relationships of mutual support. Expand your view of family, and consider the needs of those around you and ask how you can provide support. If we all work together, we can secure a better life and a better future for generations of LGBT people.

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AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 23

>> DADDY/BOY <<

CULTURAL WARRIORS

If you are interested in a daddy/boy relationship don’t let anybody shame you into not following your passion.

irst of all—let me be clear. When we talk about daddy/boy relationships we are not talking about incest or pedophilia. What we are talking about are loving, fun, playful relationships between two men of disparate age groups. There are many issues to discuss regarding intergenerational relationships—but first let’s deal with a few age specific topics. We live in a society that teaches us that as we age we lose interest in sex—as well as the ability to perform sexually. There are changes that happen as we age—this should not be a shock to any of us. However, while your erection may not be as powerful at 70 as it was at 18, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still enjoy sex. Let me share a couple of observations that have come up in discussions about this topic with both younger and older men.

OLDER GUYS • Get your testosterone levels checked. There is plenty of research about the so called “andro-pause” and the risks and benefits of testosterone replacement therapy. You need to know what that means. EDUCATE YOURSELF. Make an informed decision and suddenly you might discover golf is really just incredibly boring and you are a lot more interested in a different kind of balls. • Check your attitude. Go to someplace that sells birthday cards and you will notice some version of the “over-the-hill” card for every speed-limit-birthday. 35, 40, 45, 50, etc. ALL of them suggesting you are too old. Hang out with healthy older guys and they will tell you that that attitude is deadly. • I just recently talked to a guy in his 2 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

BY DR. STEVE GANZELL

90s who competed in the Golden Age Games… in SHOTPUT and JAVELIN! He is a great example of HOW to age. We lost a lot of the guys who would have been those examples, but you can help replace them. If you are cranky and bitter, just sit tight, I let you know when that becomes an aphrodisiac. Until then you’re on your own. Outta the pool!

YOUNGER MEN WHO FIND OLDER MEN ATTRACTIVE IN A SEXUAL WAY GET THE BENEFIT OF YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. OLDER MEN IN THAT RELATIONSHIP GET THE BENEFIT OF ENTHUSIASM AND THE BOY-LIKE JOY OF LIFE. • You get to be young for free. We all get youth handed to us. By the time we really appreciate it is gone. If you are smart you exchange youth for power and experience. Life is about learning. Have something worthwhile and desirable. • Personal pet peeve: trim the damn hair out of your ears. WHAT THE FUCK. We get it too—it happens. DEAL with it.

YOUNGER MEN • Learn how to perform a Testicular Self Exam (TSE). The TSE is designed to

detect testicular cancer in men in the age cohort most likely to be effected (basically puberty to around 30). So look it up on-line. Learn the details. And then accept the advice of an older man… don’t take the idea that it is a SELF-exam too seriously. That just means that you CAN do it yourself without help but why would you? My suggestion in that you do it in the shower at the gym. When someone asks you what you are doing, you explain what you know about testicular cancer and point out the advantages of a TSE. They you offer to share your wisdom and skill with the guy who is asking you about it and if you can’t figure out the rest of this scene, please stop reading and just give up. • Being young is about making mistakes. Older guys can tell you how it is likely to turn out but you have to experience it yourself. BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. In any collaborative relationship, you ought to be able to ask for guidance and support. • There are some creepy guys out there. There is also a pretty substantial power differential. There are some rather predatory guys who will take advantage that you might hesitate to say no to someone you respect, or who has some other form of control over the situation. You never have to put up with Uncle Grabby. Tell him: NO! I also happen to believe that anybody who uses the term millennial to describe you is probably more interested in you as a market share than a person. I can’t think of any of the guys I know who are in a relationship with an older partner who use the term. Just an observation.

> > AARON VALENZUELA < <

JOY OF SHARING Now for the real issue…WHY would anybody want to be in an intergenerational relationship? It is because for the older guy who finds younger men attractive and desirable, there are just as many younger guys who get rock hard in the presence of older daddy types. If you think it isn’t about sex, you are just not paying attention. Now I am willing to use the more broadly defined term—eroticism. It suggests the life giving creative force that is more than just sexual but sex is a part of it. There is a reason the Spartans were so invincible, they were fucking each other. Sex is really, really important. Kinky sex is really important… and a lot more complicated, fun, interesting and creative—AND

requires some experience that takes time. Younger men who find older men attractive in a sexual way get the benefit of years of experience. Older men in that relationship get the benefit of enthusiasm and the boy-like joy of life that boys can embody. Most of us try to hide our attractions because we have been taught to be ashamed of them by those who seek to control us and then sell the solutions to our misery. BUT there are cultural warriors who refuse to conform to the norms that make others comfortable. Realizing that your mother and your partner graduated from high school the same year, may be unusual but it is not pathological. You and your partner may not share the same taste in music but who cares when

your lover has spent 20 years learning the nuance and subtleties of how to be a good sexual partner. The joy of sharing something exciting for the first time with someone you love is a wonderful experience and more than makes up for the fact that your interests in gaming may be disparate. So here’s the bottom line. If you don’t have interest in a Daddy/boy relationship, you probably didn’t bother to read this. If you DO—don’t let ANYBODY shame you into not following your passion. It can be rough. You can learn how to navigate it, it won’t always be easy. While it has all the struggles of a more modal relationship it also has some unique challenges. BUT if you are attracted to an intergenerational partner, go for it. AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 25

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SOMETHING NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT YOU: Tom: I only identify cars by their color. Joe: I can’t stand the word moist.

PET PEEVE: Tom: residential parking in WeHo. Joe: Cellphone texting in movies.

BEST AND WORST QUALITY: Tom: I’m always on time, which means early. Joe: Striving to be perfect.

GOOD RELATIONSHIP TIPS: Tom: communication, respect, transparency, surprise. Joe: He is always right. Lol. Be open, honest, and leave no secrets.

OCCUPATIONS: Tom: Director/Teacher/Dancer. Joe: Actor/Account Representative/Dancer.

BEEN TOGETHER: Three and a half years.

HOMETOWN: Tom: Cedar Falls, Iowa. Joe: Bedford, Indiana.

AGES: Tom: 52, Joe: 29.

THESPREAD

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PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM

TOM PARDOE, JOE ARELLANO

> > C H A R L I E M AT U L A < <

EVEN DADDIES NEED DADDIES The Eagle L.A.’s Charlie Matula on growing up in the Southland, his career as a gay bartender and later bar-owner, and what it means to be a Daddy. BY BREN D EN SHUCART | PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNI NGHAM

hen you think of a “Daddy” you are probably picturing someone very similar to Charlie Matula. Handsome, mature, burly and bearded, Charlie is— with his business partner Vince—co-owner of the Eagle L.A. in Silver Lake and a longtime fixture of Los Angeles’ gay nightlife. But Daddies are not born, they are made, and Charlie sat down with us to discuss growing up in the Southland, his career as a gay bartender and later barowner, and what it means to be a Daddy. Tell us about your childhood. I had a pretty average, middle-income family life I suppose, growing up here in L.A.—Temple City to be exact—with my mom and two sisters. When did you realize you were gay? Looking back, I seem to recall many feelings or infatuations with boys/men, but had no idea what it meant. It was not until my late teens until I started figuring it all out. I had girlfriends all through high school. I knew nothing about the gay world or lifestyle other than typical high school pranks and jokes high school kids do to each other. I wasn’t able to identify with those feelings or infatuations… A trip to the Pleasure Chest when I was 17 kind of started it all. How did you come to be at the Pleasure Chest for the first time? My sister’s boyfriend at the time was a bouncer for the band Motley Crue. Right when their first album was coming out, he said “there is this place in West Hollywood called the Pleasure Chest. They’ll close the store and let the band come in after-hours to 2 28 8 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com

“… SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IF YOU’VE ACCEPTED THE DADDY ROLE THAT MEANS YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH OTHER DADDIES. THAT’S BULLSHIT, WHETHER IT BE PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, OR SEXUALLY, IT’S ALWAYS FUN TO HAVE BIG MUSCLY ARMS AROUND ME, HOLDING ME.” get all the gear for their shows.” I was a drummer in a band, and I was like “Rock n’ roll, lets go!” So we hop in the car and go to West Hollywood, and I walk in to the Pleasure Chest and I was kinda blown away. I didn’t even know that places like that existed, and I saw magazine racks with all these gay magazines. Fast forward two days later and Charlie is driving back to the Pleasure Chest by himself. I bought a few of those magazines, and that opened the doors right there. It was a pivotal moment—thanks to Motley Crue. [laughs]

How much daylight was there between figuring out you liked guys and acting on it? I was kind of a late bloomer. When I was 20 I was hired as an air traffic controller, and had to go to their training headquarters in Oklahoma City. It’s kind of like a boot camp, you stay in apartments which are designated for this training, and everyone carpools into work. This kid that I carpooled with was from New Hampshire. He was openly gay, and he opened a lot of doors for me, took me to my first gay bar. And after that I knew I wanted—and actively pursued—hooking up with guys. What was gay life like when you were in your teens and 20s? It was the early 80s, AIDS was just hitting the scene and I started losing a lot of new friends. Was a very scary time, especially while coming out. Everyone was very health conscious, and all the smooth shaved gym-bodies trying to show off that they were healthy. That’s what I came out to, and thats what I thought everyone wanted. It wasn’t until I went to The Spike and saw this whole other world of bellies and beards. I didn’t know it was there. What was it like to come out at the knife’s edge of the AIDS crisis? I imagine everyone was talking about it, or at least aware of it. There were a lot of people who were in denial about it. There were people who knew about it but we weren’t educated enough to know what it was yet. People were afraid to kiss each other. They were afraid to sit on each other’s toilet seats. It was very scary. It was like playing Russian

> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

How did you discover leather bars? A friend of mine had a little Damron guide … I’d always stop on the bars and clubs that had drawings and photos of Leathermen. That’s what I was always attracted to, but for whatever reason I would never pursue that. I had gotten involved in my second relationship when I was around 24, 25. He took me to [now defunct L.A. Leather bar] The Spike for the first time. That opened the door to the world of hairy, muscle-y men. And I thought “now I’m home.” I knew of places like The Spike, but I was very intimidated by them. Looking back it seems ridiculous. [laughs] When I meet young guys who come to the Eagle for the first time they tell me “I’ve always wanted to come here, but I was so scared. I hear all these stories.” But I get it, I was like that when I was younger.

roulette every time you hooked up with a complete stranger, and we’d go home beating ourselves up thinking “Did I just commit suicide?” It was unknown territory and it was all very, very scary. And then to watch the people around

us, our best friends… by the time someone got ill from it, it was too late. They’d check into the hospital, and they’ d have a few weeks left. It was happening all around you, and it was just frightening.

What was the first gay bar you worked at? That was The Spike. My second boyfriend and I used to hang out there, got to know the owner really well. I left air traffic controlling, gave that up, went into special effects make-up for a while. I’m sure you have friends in the [movie] industry, you work for a while then you starve for a while, and so on. I’d been out of work for a couple of months between shows and nothing was lined up, and the manager of The Spike asked me if I’d like to bartend though the summer. This was 1990. I thought it would be a good thing to learn, something to fall back on between shows. I had such a good time and made a shit-ton of money—way more than I was getting at the studios doing effects—and I never looked back. [laughs] AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 29

> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

When and how did you come to own The Eagle? I have been in the bar business for just over 25 years now. I was manager of Gauntlet II for five years—2000-2005— when then owner decided to retire and sell the bar. I bought it with my business partner—Vince—and changed the name to Eagle LA in 2006. I had just turned 40. I don’t know if I’d call it a midlife crisis, but I was at this turning point where I had been in the business for quite a few years. And working in a bar is good money, even some of the bartenders take home more money than me with tips on a good day, that’s just the way it is. But the older you get the more limited your options become. After The Spike I went to work at the original Eagle in West Hollywood, and it closed in 1995. It was always kinda my goal to reopen it and own my own bar, and there were three close but failed attempts to do that. So I was actively pursuing trying to open a bar—namely The Eagle— so when the opportunity came along I jumped at the chance.

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Why “the Eagle?” There is a lot of brand equity in The Eagle. There is an Eagle in almost every major city in the U.S. and some in Europe. And if you’re a certain kind of guy, you know the Eagle, you know what you’re gonna get. My biggest fear was that someone would beat me to it. What’s it like to own a gay bar? It is a lot of work to be honest, but it has HUGE rewards. I have made many friends within the local L.A. community and throughout the world. I feel very blessed to have this experience. Plus I get paid to drink and hang out with my friends, don’t know of many jobs where you can do that. What does it mean to you to be a “Daddy?” It means getting older. [laughs] Seriously though, I guess some people perceive me as a leader within the community, along with my bald head and silver beard, a Daddy was born. I approach it as a role of support: financially, emotionally, physically. A role of authority. People look up to me

and refer to me as daddy. the staff of the bar call me daddy. My husband Hunter Fox and I have been together 11 years. We got married last September, and he calls me daddy. He’s the love of my life, my soulmate. And I am his daddy. He’s my boy. There are some who take the role far more seriously. They think if you fail to spell “daddy” with a capital “D” you’ve committed a sin,[laughs]. How difficult or easy was the transition into Daddyhood? It came very naturally. We all get older, some deal with it better than others. Do you have any advice for guys on the cusp of being a Daddy? Embrace your daddyism. And some people think that if you’ve accepted the daddy role that means you can’t play with other daddies. That’s bullshit, whether it be physically, emotionally, or sexually, it’s always fun to have big muscly arms around me, holding me. Even Daddies need Daddies.

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 31

THEEPIDEMIC >> HVTN 100 <<

PROMISING EARLY RESULTS

Interim results for HVTN 100, a HIV-vaccine trail, have already outperformed those of previous vaccine trials. BY VI CTOR MELAMED

ast month researchers at the 2016 International AIDS Conference in Durban, South Africa, revealed that the interim results for HVTN 100, a HIV-vaccine trail that began January 2015, have already outperformed those of previous vaccine trials, reports HIVPlusMag.com. This paves the way for a much larger study to begin this November. The precursor of HVTN 100, the Thailand-based study RV144, became the first trial for an HIV vaccine to show any efficacy when it was completed in 2009. After modifying the dosage and tuning the vaccine to protect against HIVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Clade C subtype more common to sub-Saharan Africa, researchers began conducting HVTN 100 in South Africa in 2015. Though the primary results are yet to be gathered, the vaccine has surpassed requirements of secondary criteria. These secondary criteria include benchmarks for antibody and white blood cell responseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all of which criteria the vaccine has passed with flying colors, opening the door for further research, reports HIVPlusMag.com. This development came out on the same day that the International AIDS Conference decried a $600-million-dollar plunge in funding for HIV-related research, leading some to speculate that the virus is poised to slip out of control once more. Philanthropists such as Bill Gates have offered to pick up the slack, donating a staggering $5 billion to sub-Saharan African relief efforts over the next five years, citing a need to protect a burgeoning youth population susceptible to the disease. n

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THETRANSACTION >> H U M A N R I G H T S C A M PA I G N N AT I O N A P R E S S S E C R E TA R Y S A R A H M c B R I D E <<

MAKING HISTORY

SARAH MCBRIDE

Sarah McBride: first transgender American to address a major party convention. BY O RLY LYO N N E

ast month, Human Rights Campaign national press secretary Sarah McBride became the first transgender American to address a major party convention—and moved delegates to their feet by recounting how her late husband had fought for LGBT rights even as he was dying from cancer. McBride, who was introduced by openly gay New York Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney in an LGBTQ-focused segment of the DNC program, began her speech with a declaration: “I am a proud transgender American.” A Time profile of McBride reveals that, after coming out as trans during college, she took an internship at the White House—a role that she believes made her the first openly trans woman to work there. She’s also been vocal in the fight against North Carolina’s transphobic HB2 “bathroom law”; her protest photo in an NC women’s room ably demonstrated the bigotry and illogic at the

heart such measures and subsequently went viral. “My hope is that for anyone who is watching, who worries that their dreams and their identity are mutually exclusive, who worry about whether they

can be accepted and succeed as who they are, that they can find some comfort and some hope in the fact that a person will be standing on that stage saying those words,” McBride told Time. n

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12 MONTH RECOMMENDATIONS AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 33

>> MIKE PENCE <<

J KID AT HEART

“There seems to be a new and growing appreciation for older men.” P H O T O B Y DU STI CU N N IN G H A M 3 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

im Key, turning 51 this month, Chief Marketing Officer at the L.A. LGBT Center, tells THE FIGHT that “the biggest advantage to getting older is the confidence you gain with age. And with that confidence, I worry much less about what others think of me—that’s very liberating.” “Society in general places a much higher value on youth—particularly in regard to women,” says Key. “But I also think that’s starting to change, at least in regard to gay guys. There seems to be a new and growing appreciation for older men - or daddies—an appreciation that barely existed when I was younger.” Key states that he has never referred to himself as a daddy. “ I know I look the part, but in my heart I’m still a kid—though it certainly doesn’t stop others from calling me that. Eight or nine years ago that really bugged me, but now I just accept it—I know it’s often used affectionately. And when I learned that guys as young as 28 are being called daddy, like actor Colton Haynes, I felt much better about it. Seriously, what’s the cut-off age from twink to daddy now, 25?!” The Center, reveals Key, “helps bridge the social gap between youth and seniors through fun activities and events that bring them together. In fact, those activities are some of the most popular that we offer because each age group feels enriched by the interaction.”

For more info on the Center’s 50+ programs please visit: lalgbtcenter.org/seniors.

YOU CAN’T HELP GETTING OLDER...

BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET OLD.* Join other LGBT seniors (50+) for one of the dozens of free or low-cost activities, events, dinners, discussion groups and courses offered each month by the Los Angeles LGBT Center. The Center also offers help finding affordable housing, an HIV-positive support group, referrals to service providers who welcome LGBT seniors, assistance securing VA benefits, and much more.

LEARN MORE:

lalgbtcenter.org/seniors SPONSORED BY

*As said by George Burns AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 35

LIFE LESSONS

> > O P E N R E L AT I O N S H I P S < <

“Being a ‘daddy’ is about teaching the younger generations what little I have learned along the way.” PHOTO BY DUSTI CUN N INGHAM

, promoter and landscape designer Victor Rodriguez, 49, tells THE FIGHT that his understanding of the term “daddy” “is about being of a certain age teaching the younger generations what little I have learned along the way and trying to sound like I know what I’m talking about.” “It’s about passing down life lessons for those who care to hear them. The thing is that I also in turn learn so much from the younger generation. Mutual benefits, really.” Currently in “an an open relationship with a very handsome and smart young man,” Rodriguez says that his coming out process was relatively easy. “I have a gay brother and cousin who are close in age and went to the same school as I, and we all sort of came out at the same time, but never really had a big to do about doing so… it was the early 80s and we were new wave kids, dressing up and wearing makeup, so with our parents, they never really seemed too upset, they just thought we were weird and crazy. I guess I was blessed to have a very uneventful coming out story.” When asked if there is anything else he would like to share Rodriguez reveals “I have a terrible memory, like REALLY BAD, so If I have a hard time remembering your name or even that we met ( 5 or 6 times ), or have been friends for 25 years, or a family member, and still don’t remember, please forgive me—and remember—I’m old.” For more about Victor Rodriguez visit www.djvictorrodriguez.com.

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at the

september 30–OctOber 2 Dance parties, pool party, shows, and special gatherings for families, ladies, bears and youth! and Don’t miss...

saturDay, OctOber 1 With

Steve Grand Visit GayDaysanaheim.cOm fOr Details! Sponsored by: AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 37

“I am proud to show > OPEN R E L A T good IONSHIPS << that 41 >can look and that Daddy is the new black, or in my case silver is the new black.” PHOTO BY DUSTI CUN N INGHAM

enswear designer and founder of sheehanandcompany.com Daniel Sheehan, 41, confides in an interview with THE FIGHT that “Daddy has been my nickname for a LONG TIME! Kind of close to Danny. I have been in leadership roles and a business owner for the better part of 2 decades. My employees have always affectionately called me Daddy or in Spanish Papi… I am a Daddy because I am leader, a protector, and a provider, and well I kind of look like Daddy with these grey locks.” The youngest of four siblings Sheehan, originally from Long Island, reveals that “my mother used to go to the Miss Fire Island competition with her gay friends… My father was a NYC police officer and both of my older brothers are cops and my sister is an attorney. I was always blessed to have some pretty smart and tough cheerleaders on my side growing up.” Regarding his company Sheehan states that he is “very proud of the business that I have just opened and the statement we are making about American clothing manufacturing.” “At 41 years old its difficult to make a change and swim up stream. I am proud to show how relevant I can be as I approach middle age. My online store is an example of my lifestyle and personal taste. I am proud to show that 41 can look good and that Daddy is the new black, or in my case silver is the new black.” For more info on Daniel Sheehan visit sheehanandcompany.com

LEADERSHIP ROLES 3 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

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THESCENE >> THE WAREHOUSE <<

THE WAREHOUSE

Creativity, flexibility and simplicity is what makes The Warehouse unique.

ip, chic and beautifully designed The Warehouse is a relatively new event destination in Los Angeles. With a capacity to host up to 300 people, The Warehouse is the perfect place for weddings,commitment ceremonies, birthdays, corporate events, holiday parties, cultural shows, themed parties, art shows, photography sessions and much more. For those interested in smaller events—it is possible to utilize only a portion of the location as every event is custom designed. “Creativity, flexibility and simplicity is what makes The Warehouse unique,” says owner Rami Ben Moshe. “Our one single mission is to make every event special, fun

4 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

“OUR MAIN CONCERN IS TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT IT TO BE.” and simple in the least expensive way for our guests, with a friendly and ‘can do’ attitude,” reveals Ben Moshe. “We have no time limita-

tion for our events. There is no shut down time nor noise restriction… Also—we provide as much time as needed to set up your event at no extra charge. Our main concern is to make sure everything is exactly how you want it to be.” “You can bring any service/ vendor/caterer you like, or we can supply all of the needed services at great rates—whatever works for you!” n To learn more about The Warehouse visit www.thewarehouseevents.net or call 818-678-9680.

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 41

THESHARE

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

>> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

LONG TERM RECOVERY

A few local sober folks with over 20 years of clean and sober time share their wisdom, motivation and the tools that have helped them along the way to stay the course. MAKE NEW FRIENDS “I’m still doing the same things that I was doing in the beginning, like being part of my sober group, helping others, being of service and sponsoring people… Sobriety is available to anyone who wants it. The challenges I’ve had in sobriety was watching my friends die of AIDS. A lot of the peers of my youth didn’t make it. The solution CARLOS MARTINEZ to that is I had to go out and make new friends. The biggest difference between me today and me 24 years ago is that I’m a grown up. It’s cute when you’re in your 20s and you act like a kid. When you’re in your 30s it’s a little bit annoying, when you’re in your 40s it’s ridiculous and when you’re in your 50s, it’s embarrassing. It’s good to grow up.” —Carlos Martinez, sober since October, 1991.

putting days into years together, things started happening in this journey that I didn’t believe would happen. I went from being a tweaked out homeless hooker to working on Broadway and to having the career that I have today… I now have the ability to care about other people, not just myself. Being of service to the community gives me purpose and feelings of being worthwhile and it shows by the valuable people in my life and in the friendships I cherish.” —Jeffrey Drew, sober since November, 1988.

NO MATTER WHAT

SHAH E. SMOAK

“In the beginning I learned to take this seriously. If you want to stay sober, when they say no matter what, it really means no matter what. If you don’t want to stay sober, then admit that to yourself and be okay with it… Working with others has helped me stay sober JEFFREY DREW this long. Being a recovering “When I first got tweaker, I was sober people encourtold to hurry aged me to dream big up and get into working the 12 steps of recovery and that if I stayed because tweakers go out fast. I’ve had my challenges sober no matter these past 20 years. I’ve had a lot of fucked up shit what, my life would happen to me. What kept me sober was no secrets. change. If I didn’t put You cannot save your face and your ass at the same a pipe in my mouth, time. It’s about getting over yourself. I also learned that there was hope. I it’s okay to abandon your shame. My life has changed would stay out of in the past 20 years. Today, I have more than 20 teeth. jail and stay off the I’ve been able to get dental implants in recovery. Today streets. That hope I have less fear. I thought I was ballsy and a badass, gave me the ability because I would do things like jump out of a moving car, to take action and to but I have learned that it wasn’t fearless, it was feargo after things in my life. Even if I fell down during the journey, based. Today, I care a lot less about what people think of me. recovery would support me and help me get back up. I was one It’s not like I don’t care, but I care less… Today, I also know of those people that was in and out for five years. I didn’t know that God is working in my everyday life. There is no way you that recovery could work for someone who was so sick and get here from there without God. dependent on meth and alcohol. I had no hope. When I started —Shah E. Smoak, sober since June, 1996.

GIVES ME PURPOSE

4 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

When addiction and mental health conditions cloud your path, we can help you find your way back to your authentic self. Providing both residential and outpatient treatment in California and across the country, our convenient locations offer hope and healing. FoundationsRecoveryNetwork.com | 855-316-6080 PALM SPRINGS | MALIBU | SANTA MONICA LOS ANGELES | SAN DIEGO | SAN FRANCISCO

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 43

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

THEJOYSTICK >> VIDEO GAMES <<

come, it shattered records and expectations all over the world. So why is this gentleman so relevant? Because it is being remade from the ground up in HD glory and Barret has always been one sexy mofo daddy. 6’5” and full of muscle he is part of a elite group called Avalanche and fights a evil corporation named Shinra. Also, he has a machine gun arm as his main weapon of choice. Talk about safety. He can carry ya to bed while killing the bad guys all in a single strut. Now that’s what I call a level up.

TOP 5 GAME DADDIES

I love me some hot daddies. Hell, I am partnered to one and I couldn’t be happier. Check out gaming’s most popular mature heroes. BY JO SEPH A RELLA N O

RYU—STREET FIGHTER

GERALT—THE WITCHER SERIES

Taking the scene long ago in the fighting genre, RYU was always been a force to be reckoned with in the street and maybe even in the sheets. For the release of the new Street Fighter, capcom made a sexy, bearded, brick, shithouse fighter to mix things up. And daddy, did they do a fantastic job or what!? Trained in the martial arts from a young age, he has wondered the world learning various techniques and mastering the dark arts of the Dark Hadou. Whew, his body speaks volumes of his prowess and most definitely… he just gets better with age.

Beginning his journey as a smart-ass, snarky, and determined witch hunter, Geralt has traveled various continents learning magic and how to seal the dark creatures that abuse it. With piercing yellow cat-like eyes, top-tier swordsmanship, and wicked senses Geralt is sure to protect anyone near or loved by him. Taken from the books, The Witcher has become a huge hit among gamers and is sure to stand the test of time of things to come. Oh! Did I mention he has a shower scene in the final Witcher game? Yea...and trust me.. It is worth it.

BARRET—FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE

From Square Enix Final Fantasy has been huge success in Japan and overseas. But one of the most memorable entries still remains Final Fantasy VII. Putting Square Enix on the map and paving the way for future RPGs to 4 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

KRATOS—GOD OF WAR

NATHAN DRAKE— UNCHARTED SERIES

Spartan Body? Check. Leather and Gauntlets. Check. Beard of a king? Check. Ever since making his appearance in GOD OF WAR for PlayStation 2, Kratos has been pursuing his revenge by taking out the gods one at a time. He has been to hell and back, literally, and has showed improvement and countless discipline. He has mastered over 8 weapons, defeated monsters, and has remain a huge hit among gay and straight video-gamers. Men want to be him, and men and women want to be with him.

Nathan hits the top of the chart for various reasons. He is a Harrison Ford nod to the early Indiana Jones films. He looks great in a leather holster. He is smart, intelligent, and has a wicked sense of humor. But, most of all, he is someone that might or could have a real doppelgänger in this world. Naughty Dog has been making stellar characters for a long time now, but none compare to the realness and genuine personality of Nathan. Whether he is saving the world one artifact at a time or making the moves on you...Nathan is sure to always keep you guessing what’s next.

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 45

THEEVENT >> PHOTOS BY ROBERT GREEN, MOTORBOOT PHOTOGRAPHY <<

MR. CSW LEATHER CONTEST

The Mr. CSW Christopher Street West Leather Contest 2017 took place at the Tom of Finland Foundation last month. The new Mr. CSW is Chris Ryan from Glendale. Ryan has worked in the healthcare industry for over 10 years, currently working in patient care for Molina Healthcare. He is a volunteer at the L.A. LGBT Center, AIDS Life Cycle, the Tom of Finland Foundation, the Human Rights Campaign and events thrown by his fellow brothers.

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LIVE

11 AM - 6 PM

T EQU I LA

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2016 FOLSOM STREET BETWEEN 8TH & 13TH SAN FRANCISCO, CA THANK YOU TO OUR RETURNING SPONSORS:

The

FOLSOMSTREETEVENTS.ORG

Copyright Â© 2016 Folsom Street Events. Folsom Street Events and Folsom Street Fair are trademarks of SMMILE, a non profit 501(c)3 California corporation. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners. For more information, contact Folsom Street Events at 415-552-3247,

folsomstreetevents.org. Photography by Michael Smith. Art direction by Atom Edwards. Hair by Stefano Tarricone. Make up by Andrea Ortega. Graphic design by Greg Traverso. Special thanks to Mr. S Leather and Beatbox. This is a smoke free event, per SF Health Code, Article 19L.

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 47

THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO << GROUPS ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org

SUNDAY, AUGUST 7

DTLA PROUD FESTIVAL 2016 Pershing Square, 532 S Olive St, Los Angeles. 12pm-10pm. Tickets & Info: DTLAProudFestival.org. Through community partners, the festival will showcase the best that downtown has to offer through 40 community booths (10 local restaurants, 15 local retail shops and 15 LGBT community groups), a main stage programmed by the burgeoning and established LGBT nightlife, and grounded by a pop-up water park for all to enjoy. THURSDAY, AUGUST 11

MAESTRO DESEAN & THE TRIBE Los Angeles LGBT Center—The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 McCadden Pl, Los Angeles, CA 90038. 6:00pm–9:00pm. Info: www.lalgbtcenter.org. The grand finale of the Golden Summer Concert Series. Spoken word, song and soul all come together. FRIDAY, AUGUST 12

KINKSTER Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles. 9pm-2am. A homo-erotic sexually fluid party that celebrates the different kinks in all of us. Go-go men, demos, visuals and more surprises. Beats by DJ Candy. Leather, jockstraps, fettish gear encouraged. $5 Cover. Sponsored by THE FIGHT Magazine, Rough Trade Gear and 665. SATURDAY, AUGUST 13

CONVERSATIONS WITH COCO: LILY TOMLIN Renberg Theatre, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 McCadden Pl, Los Angeles, CA 90038. Info: www.lalgbtcenter.org. An extraordinary one-night-only event as Miss Coco Peru welcomes the one-and-only Lily Tomlin to the Renberg stage! DOES YOUR MAMA KNOW? 25 YEAR ANNIVERSARY UNION, 4067 W Pico Blvd., Los Angeles. 9pm–6am. It’s all about house music. LA’s Legendary DYMK will bring you resident Dj’s Tony Largo, Marques Wyatt, Eddie X and special gust Fabian. BONKERZ! MANILA, DETOX & SHERRY! OH MY! Precinct DTLA, 357 S Broadway, Los Angeles.10pm-2am. Jackie Beat & Mario Diaz presents... BONKERZ with live performances by Manila Luzon, Sherry Vine, Detox and Jackie Beat and music by DJ Whitney Fierce. Also enjoy go go goonz Shawn Morales and Ted Anton. Only $5! BOUND! Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., 4pm–8pm. Visit eaglela.com for more information. Come get BOUND with the Men of Onyx at the Eagle’s beer bust. $5 suggested donation for charity. There will be demos, kinky go-go studs, raffles, prizes, Jell-O shots, tasty food and some of the hottest leathermen LA has to offer. Don’t miss out on the fun! SUNDAY, AUGUST 14

BIG GAY BRUNCH IN WHITTIER Setá Dine Lounge, 13033 Philadelphia St., 11am-2pm. For updates, visit: facebook.com/events/503291306530198. Meeting up for Brunch and see old friends and other LGBT 4 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

members of the Whittier area. Bottomless Mimosas and the best Chilaquiles and pancakes you’ve ever tried. Hosted by the Gay Whittier Alliance. CRISCO DISCO Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood. 4pm–8pm. Info: www.bulletbarla.com. 70s classics and rare disco grooves, with Music by DJ Steve Cunningham and DJ Brian Novy. No Cover ONYX SOUTHWEST BEER BUST Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles, 4pm–8pm. Come get BOUND with the Men of Onyx at their beer bust at the Eagle LA. They’ll bring the rope! All you need to do is show up! Go GO Studs, demos and raffles. Music by DJ Candy, $5 suggested donation. FRIDAY, AUGUST 19

GROWLR’S BEAR DEN Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood. 9pm–2am. Info: www.bulletbarla.com. Featuring DJ Manuelito with hot dancing bear Beef Bearrito. Show that you’re a Growlr’s subscriber and receive Happy Hour prices. Hang out with some fur by the fire pit or the patio. No Cover. SATURDAY, AUGUST 20

VENTURA COUNTY PRIDE Promenade Park, Ventura. Info: diversitycollectivevc.org/pride.html. A wide variety of entertainment, an enhanced adults-only experience, and several vendors. Raja Gemini, the crown winner of Season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, will be the featured headliner. MR. BEAR LA 2017 CONTEST Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles. 8pm–2am. The Annual Mr. Bear LA 2017 Contest. The winners for Mr. Bear LA is to represent BearsLA at the Mr. SoCal Bear Contest in San Diego during this year’s BearQuake Weekend (www.bearquake.com). $5 Cover. PUTERÍA Precinct, 357 South Broadway, Los Angeles. 9pm–2am. Info: www.precinctdtla.com. The best of Latin dance music toda la noche. Con hombres calientes and cool drinks all night long. $5 cover.

GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org HIV MEDICAL & CASE MANAGEMENT “Smart Health LA” At Valley Community Healthcare In North Hollywood Offers HIV Testing And Medical Services Including Counseling And Medical Treatment. For Testing Call Brian at 818-301-6314; For Medical Services Call Gilbert at 818-301-6390. www.SmartHealthLA.com POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info

THURSDAY, AUGUST 25

BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality.

CHICO’S ANGELS FIVE-0 “WAIKIKI CHICAS” Casita Del Campo, 1920 Hyperion Ave., 8pm., To purchase tickets, visit chicosangels.com. The Angels must go undercover at Waikiki’s hottest night club THE HULA HO to find out who’s been kidnapping Hula Dancers! Show runs to September 4.

MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27

SENIOR SERVICES PRESENTS: 2016 LESBIAN BLACK & WHITE DANCE Pickwick Gardens, 1001 W Riverside Dr, Burbank, CA 91506. Tickets & Info: www.lalgbtcenter.org. Hosted by Los Angeles LGBT Center and Senior Services—an evening of amazing women, great music with DJ Bee, lots of dancing, light refreshments, along with a wine bar (cash donations accepted), with a special performance by Tanya Witt. RSVP by calling 323-860-5830 for event 0827.

LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO editor@thefightmag.com POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 201-1561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. TRAVEL

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m. CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS

LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

FRIENDS TRAVEL www.FriendsTravel.com Gay Owned & Operated, Since 1985.

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

12 STEP GROUPS

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www.greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org LA ROWING www.larowing.org DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area. SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org WORSHIP

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042 HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038 WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit

www.thefightmag.com

AUG UST 2016 | THE F I GH T 49

THEFINALFIGHT >> THE FUTURE <<

RECEIVERS OF MEMORY

To know how shit’s worked in the past is to know how it’s probably gonna shape up in the future. BY TH O MA S VA LLS

o, I’m just coming out of the age when I’d believed that the experiences in my life had all turned into a coin purse of cache that I was able to quantify my maturity level with. I’ve grown. Now I have a real-world resume of real-world failures that I’ve convinced myself over the years would promisingly add up to any variation of success! Now, I finally feel as though I’m able to be an adult. I’ve come to accept the fact that these promises, so often serendipitously illuminated before us after we’ve wandered in the dark, have actually connived into existence through understanding the banality of the failures we thought at some point were ours and ours alone. But you keep them. You keep those Promises. There’s always gonna be the need for Promise. Capital P. It’s unequivocally the one thing we all unanimously hold dearest to us. Promise for our career, our families, our partners and friends, ourselves. It is the idea of Promise that propels us. It is our drive. But the function of ‘Promise’ isn’t being the vehicle. It’s being its fuel. The older you get, presumably the better you get at buying a car, but even then if you’re sporting Angyline’s Pink Corvette that you got off of eBay, the price of gas is gonna keep getting higher, anyways. For a Cuban American Gay (#CAG) outta Miami, Florida where his first encounter with a guy into feet was with a supervising podiatrist

5 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

who worked at the Y, I was scared as shit about dwindling promises. Of expectations I was letting go of myself. I needed fuel. So. I became a liberated liberal gay man with several centrist values. Los Angeles was to become my smoggy oyster. I was ready to be educated.

GENUINE CURIOSITY Political correctness and the technological evolution of the human species has dampened the affects of what gay bars used to be and mean for our now, now, more matured LGBTQ members. They were places to fuck without judgment. They were places to escape, to hide, to plan for attack. A culture of sexual warriors bleached out and replaced with the misguided naivety of the disaffected Millennial, who on Friday nights openly throws back their libations because they figure there’s a pretty good chance that the Uber driver isn’t gonna kick them out of his Prius, even if all they do is talk about Barb from “Stranger Things.” When you come to em-

brace any community, a community that you identify with, one you can see yourself thriving within, you should make it a habit of getting to know the people who’ve been a part of the program long before you were ever even a zygote. They like being asked questions. They think it’s cute that someone thinks they can possibly understand it all. Some of them bar-regulars, some of them making appearances at events because in some way or another they fought to make it happen in the first place. They’re the people who aren’t afraid to stare with genuine curiosity. People who look and always think, ‘seen this before.’ Our brothers and sisters, daddies, mothers, piss-guzzlers, pups—usually the bouncers know their shit too. They’re our literal Receivers of Memory. These Receivers of Memory hold onto the memories of yesteryear. They carry the weight of the queer community while so many of us continue to dissolve towards finding replacements for what used to be the thrill of a cruise. To know how shit’s worked in the past is to know how it’s probably gonna shape up in the future. To know of the Past to the Present, to be engaged with that in such a capacity that you can construct a path towards whatever it is you figure’s looking promising, that’s when you’ll have the backing of a community. That’s when it all seems real. That’s when we grow up. n

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