THE FIGHT SOCAL'S LGBT MONTHLY MAGAZINE JANUARY 2015

Law Group

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Michael H. Moghtader, Attorney At Law

Immigration (Bi-National Same Sex Marriage) Personal Injury Bankruptcy Lemon Law Traffic Ticket Criminal Defense

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THECONTENTS >> MORE TO COME <<

C O V E R S T O R I E S A N D F E AT U R E S

OVER HEARTS AND MINDS 17 WINNING LOS ANGELES LGBT CENTER

17

18

22

18 JUSTICE FOR LEELAH

30

TRAGIC TRANS SUICIDE

24

22 MARRIAGE: IS IT RIGHT FOR ME?

EXAMINING RELATIONSHIP STRUCTURES

24 OWNING IT

KARAMO BROWN ON CREATING REAL CHANGE

30 THE MORE YOU KNOW

ANN ROSTOW’S ANNUAL NEWS QUIZ

START 2015 34 FRESH LIPO, DENTAL IMPLANTS, HAIR RESTORATION

WARRIOR WITHIN 37 THE THE PARADISE WARRIOR RETREAT CENTER

INTO YEARS 38 DAYS PAULO MURILLO’S SOBER JOURNEY

ON THE COVER COVER MODEL: KARAMO BROWN COVER PHOTO BY: DAVID WAGNER MAIN TOC PHOTO AND FEATURE PHOTO BY: JEFF BEASLEY

DEPARTMENTS

12 THE TALK J.K. ROWLING 15 THE STATE KEVIN KISH 16 THE CITY CLOTHING DRIVE 20 THE ROSTOW REPORT TACO BELL 28 THE DOCTOR DR. TONY MILLS 32 THE LAW DAVID HAKIMFAR 33 THE PETS MICROCHIPPING 40 THE SHARE LOCAL SOBRIETY 42 THE EVENT #BOOM IN WEHO

34

37 4 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

38

42

44 THE CALENDAR EVENTS 46 THE FINAL FIGHT PAULO MURILLO

THEEDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Negar Riazi John Michael Gamban Sue Ho >> IN THIS ISSUE <<

In this New Year’s issue of THE FIGHT Rob Smith interviews OWN’s Karamo Brown, the host of the network’s digital show #OWNSHOW and a commentator on “Dr. Drew On Call” on HLN (“Owning It,” page 24).

“As the country is embroiled in a myriad of protests and racial unrest regarding the killing of multiple unarmed black men by white police officers and the lack of legal action against them, Brown is hyper aware of what it means to be raising two black men as a single father,” writes Smith.

“He has an 18 year old biological son as well as a 14 year old that he adopted from the same mother, and feels a deep responsibility to equip them to deal with a world that far too often sees young black men as menacing.”

“The conversation about race is one that he’s had ‘at least once every week’ since his sons became a part of his life,” reveals Smith “All of these men are the same age as my kids, and to prepare them I say ‘this is what’s happening in the streets, and I need you to understand how you’re going to be perceived in this world,’” he says. “It’s a hard conversation but it’s a conversation that has to be had because I have to prepare them,” says Brown.

Brown is equally as outspoken about the thorny racial issues at play

within the LGBT community, starting with the relative lack of response by many mainstream LGBT organizations in regards to Ferguson or the #blacklivesmatter movement, write Smith.

“As a community we should be more empathetic towards what those of us who are AfricanAmerican men are going through.

We need to see more LGBT organizations take a stand and show support for the black community during this difficult time,” states Brown.

Also in this issue WeHo based psychotherapist James Guay tackles the thorny issue of marriage (“Marriage: Is It Right For Me?” page 22) “Historically, gay men have been forced by a homophobic and heterosexist world to question and think more critically outside the traditional relationship structures we grew up with, and later, discover relationship dynamics that work better for us. Of course, without the same kind of societal/ familial support that our straight counterparts have, it has not always been an easy endeavor,” states Guay.

“Regardless of the form our relationships take, having honest conversations about agreements and getting clear consent can strengthen our relationships, whether they are monogamous, monogam-ish, open or polyamorous.”

SOCIAL MEDIA Paulo Murillo WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers.

Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine.

Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2015 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission.

The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

TheFightMag.com STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

6 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

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THECONTRIBUTORS >> OUR WRITERS <<

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook.

ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot. com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com.

ROB SMITH Rob Smith is an author, lecturer, writer, and LGBT activist. His first book “Closets, Combat, and Coming Out: Coming of Age as a Gay Man in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Army” is in stores now. He can be found at www.robsmithonline.com.

VICTOR MELAMED Victor Melamed began his career in journalism writing for the now-defunct Israeli gay magazine “Magaim.” He is currently working on a novel based on a true story about a love affair between two men on opposite sites of the Middle East conflict.

Murillo

Rostow

Mills

Hakimfar

Smith

Melamed

Lyonne

Guay

DAVID HAKIMFAR Los Angeles based Attorney David Hakimfar received his law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. While there, he made the Honor Roll and National Dean’s List. Currently David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC. He can be reached at: 1-888-789-PRIDE (7743).

Duran

JAMES GUAY James Guay, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mft 39252), is a West Hollywood based psychotherapist for individuals and couples, specializing in affirmative LGBTQ health and well being. Visit his web site www.LivingMoreFully.com or call 310-405-0840 for more info.

TONY MILLS, MD A leading LA-based clinician in the fields of men’s health and wellness, Dr. Mills serves as the primary care provider for over 2,000 patients, including approximately 1,000 living with HIV. Dr. Mills received both his undergraduate and medical degrees from Duke University. He completed an internship in Internal Medicine, a residency in Anesthesiology and a fellowship in Cardiovascular Anesthesiology, all at the University of California, San Francisco. He can be contacted via his website: SoCalMensHealth.com ORLY LYONNE Orly Lyonne is a freelance journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art.

Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@gmail.com.

ANTHONY DURAN Anthony Duran, native Angelino, is a photographer and erotic visual contributor to print and film projects worldwide.

Since beginning his career in the 1990s, Anthony’s work has graced numerous magazine covers in Europe, Australia and the US. Anthony can be reached at ad@anthonyduranphotography.com.

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THELETTERS >> FROM OUR READERS <<

BETTER, STRONGER Dear Editor, Just read the brutally honest interview with Nick Capra in your December 2014 issue (“Coming Clean,” THE FIGHT Issue #47).

It had me in tears, to know what this man has been through, to where he is today. He’s to be admired for being so honest and sincere of his life past. The pain, drugs and the suicide of his beloved Tony!

Though he may have had a relapse, he is a better, stronger, inspired, committed and dedicated soul for all. He touches so many lives today than ever before. I admire this man, Nick Capra! He is a true testament of a man who is giving it his all today to be a better person!

You guys did an amazing job with him and the interview!

—Anthony Wesley, via the internet

VERY SHALLOW Dear Editor, When did Rose McGowan become a social activist? She is just a silly actress looking to create a controversy with her ridiculous assertion that the gay community doesn’t lend a hand to other minorities (“The Talk,” THE FIGHT Issue #47).

“I see now basically people who’ve fought for the right to stand on top of a float wearing an orange Speedo...” she says. Really?

How many gay people do you actually know, Ms. McGowan? Is it not feasible that one can have fun at a Pride celebration - and also be concerned about social injustice outside of the gay community?

A very shallow observation, indeed.

—Arthur Blanco, via the internet

PERSONAL PART Dear Editor, Great piece by Brenden Shucart on dealing with your HIV status in a serodiscordant relationship (“Fear And Loathing,” THE FIGHT Issue #47).

Hopefully, with Truvada, most of that stress can be alleviated.

Kudos to Shucart for writing so honestly about such a personal part of his life.

—Ben Murphy, via the internet

> WRITE TO THE EDITOR

Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements.

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THETALK >> W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G <<

ERIC RADFORD

TORI JOHNSON

EVER WISH

MICHAEL SAM

J.K. ROWLING

THINK THAT

IF HARRY

“I don’t like to think that way... I’m going to continue working hard and try to get that opportunity to play in the league.”

—Michael Sam, in an interview last month with Oprah Winfrey on OWN, when asked if the thought that his sexuality has cost him a spot in the NFL.

“But, of course... If Harry Potter taught us anything, it’s that no one should live in a closet.”

—Author J.K. Rowling, in a public Twitter chat last month, answering the question “Were there any LGBT students at Hogwarts?”

TYSON BECKFORD

EMILY BLUNT

“We are so proud of our beautiful boy Tori, gone from this earth but forever in our memories as the most amazing life partner, son and brother we could ever wish for.”

—Statement issued last month by Tori Johnson’s family.

Johnson, a gay man, was one of two people killed during last month’s hostage situation in Sydney, Australia. He is being called a hero for dying while trying to take down the gunman holding him and others hostage.

THAT TITLE

“My concern was that I would be known as ‘the gay athlete’ if I came out at the Olympics, rather than Eric the medaling figure skater who happens to be gay. And I felt uncomfortable with that title.”

—Eric Radford, who took home a silver medal with his skating partner, Meagan Duhamel, at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, coming out last month in an interview with Outsports.com.

JEFFREY TAMBOR

IT BELONGS

SO COOL “I know that’s my demographic. That’s been made clear to me by my fans... I love it. I think it’s so cool, because one day I hope to be a gay icon.”

—Actress Emily Blunt, in an interview with The Advocate, promoting her new film “Into the Woods.”

THEY KNOW “[My gay fans have] been very supportive of everything that I do, because they know that I support them... they definitely supported me all the way through fashion.”

—Supermodel turned actor Tyson Beckford in an interview with HIV Plus Magazine.

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“Lives are at stake. The conversation needs to go forward. And there needs to be freedom. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are part of our constitutional rights.

And it belongs to everybody.”

—Actor Jeffrey Tambor on some of the biggest lessons he’d learned about the trans community by playing the transgender character Maura on “Transparent,” in an interview with author and transgender activist Janet Mock, on “Entertainment Tonight.”

LANCE BASS

MAKES ME

“Today I marry the man of my dreams. He makes me smile; he makes my heart melt; he makes me... me.”

—Former NSYNC member Lance Bass, on twitter last month. Bass married his fiancé Michael Turchin at the Park Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles.

The ceremony was officiated by actresses Jamie-Lynn Sigler and JoAnna Garcia Swisher.

DECEMB ER 2014 | TH E F I GH T 13

1 6 T H E F IGH T | A UGU S T 2014

THESTATE >> G AY K I S H , B U L L I E D C H I L D <<

KEVIN KISH

OPENLY GAY KISH TO HEAD DFEH

G

ov. Jerry Brown has appointed openly gay civil rights attorney Kevin Kish to lead the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing (DFEH), filling a vacancy atop an agency under scrutiny for its own employment record, reports the Sacramento Bee. An adjunct law professor at Loyola Law School, Los Angeles and director of Bet Tzedek Legal Services' employment law project, Kish would assume leadership of an agency beset by allegations of inappropriate hiring and promotion practices. The Senate would need to confirm Kish's appointment to the post, reports LGBTweekly.com "Kevin Kish is one of the best litigators I have ever known, and LGBT Californians are gaining a strong and passionate legal champion who will work hard to ensure everyone in California gets a fair shot on the job and a fair chance to rent or own housing," said Tico Almeida, the Latino founder and president of the national LGBT organization Freedom to Work.

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RONIN SHIMIZU

BULLIED CHILD COMMITS SUICIDE

A

12-year-old middle-school student in Folsom, CA, committed suicide last month and friends and family say relentless anti-gay bullying was the cause because the boy was on the cheerleading squad last year, reports LGBTQnation.com.

Ronin Shimizu died shortly before 3pm on December 3, according to the Sacramento County coroner's office.

Police have not released any additional information regarding Ronin's death, other than to say it was "non-suspicious," a term they use to describe natural death, accidental death or suicide.

But friends and parents said Ronin took his own life because of ongoing bullying. n

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THECITY >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

opportunity to speak about the scientist’s legacy, whom he called a “war hero,” a “gay icon,” and the “father of modern computer science.”

“He’s a man who died tragically early due to a government he helped free from fascism by his work in World War II cracking the Enigma Code, rewarding him for his nature for quietly confessing to who he was - as a gay man in a time of intolerance in the ‘50s,” Cumberbatch said.

DESHAWNDA SANCHEZ

Municipal Election will be held on Tuesday, March 3, 2015 to fill three seats on the West Hollywood City Council for a four-year term, starting in March, 2015. The Deadline to register for the next election is February 17.

Residents can register to vote online on the City’s website at weho.org/elections, which will take you to the California Secretary of State’s Voter Registration page. You must be 18 years of age, a PHILIP GIZZIE

JOHN WINKLER

LA TRANSGENDER WOMAN MURDERED

P

olice are investigating the death of a 21-year-old transgender woman who was gunned down while pounding on the front door of a South Los Angeles home seeking help, reports ktla.com.

Deshawnda Sanchez, known as “Tata,” was shot last month on the front porch of a home near South Wilton Place and West 62nd Street, according to the LAPD. The occupant of the Chesterfield Square home came outside after hearing multiple gunshots but it was too late.

“Deshawnda is a transgender female,” an LAPD spokesperson said. “At this point, we cannot say it’s a hate crime but we have not ruled out that as being a possibility.”

FAMILY FILES SUIT AGAINST DEPUTIES

T

he family of John Winkler - a 30-year old aspiring television producer, who was mistakenly shot at 939 Palm Avenue in West Hollywood on April 7, 2014, is suing LA County over the killing.

Winkler was visiting friends in the complex when Alexander McDonald, 28, attacked the

men with a knife. Winkler rushed at McDonald and then pushed a friend to the door and opened it. The lawsuit alleges that deputies outside the room began firing. The friend was struck in the leg and Winkler was shot on the chest.

The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages.

PORN STAR GETS 2 YEARS IN PRISON

A

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

PALM SPRINGS AWARDS “THE IMITATION GAME” “The Imitation Game” took home the Palm Springs International Film Festival’s honor for ensemble performance in film at the event this month, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com.

Accepting the award on behalf of his costars, Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Alan Turing in the film, used the

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British gay porn star who was arrested at LAX for attempting to smuggle a half-pound of crystal meth in a body cavity was ordered last month to spend two years in federal prison, reports City News Service.

Philip Gizzie, who uses the stage name Bruno Knight, must also serve three years of supervised release after getting out of prison.

In a letter to the court, Gizzie said he had been addled by drugs at the time of the crime and was thankful for the sobriety he found during five months in a federal lockup.

WEHO MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS ON MARCH 3

T

he City of West Hollywood’s General

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For more information, call the City of West Hollywood’s City Clerk’s Office at (323) 848-6409.

CLOTHING DRIVE TO BENEFIT LGBT YOUTH

T

he third annual clothing drive for the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Youth Center takes place this month until January 30. Clothing will be accepted from the community and all items collected will be distributed to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth in need. The City of West Hollywood will be accepting items in collection bins at West Hollywood City Hall, located at 8300 Santa Monica Boulevard.

For more information about the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Youth Center on Highland, visit lalgbtcenter.org/youth_center.

Winning Over Hearts And Minds Los Angeles LGBT Center breakthrough in persuading voters and reducing prejudice.

BY VICTO R MELA MED

I

t’s possible to lastingly persuade conservative voters to support a controversial issue like marriage for same-sex couples— and at a greatly accelerated rate compared to their neighbors -according to groundbreaking data published in last month's issue of the peer-reviewed journal Science.

The 12-month study also shows how the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s voter persuasion methods reduced anti-gay prejudice and may have the potential to reduce other forms of prejudice.

The independent researchers who led the study found that the Center's LGBT canvassers changed the minds of conservative voters to support marriage for same-sex couples five times faster than their neighbors who were evolving on the issue. More than that, the doorstep conversations had a long-lasting, measurable impact on reducing the voters’ prejudice against LGBT people and had a “spillover effect,” changing the minds of others in the same household.

Over five years, the Center’s Vote for Equality staff and volunteers had more than 12,000 one-on-one conversations in Los Angeles neighborhoods that overwhelmingly supported Proposition 8, the California ballot measure that repealed the freedom for same-sex couples to marry.

“The data show that in 20 minutes, the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s volunteer canvassers accomplished what would have otherwise taken five years at the current rate of social change,” said Dave Fleischer, director of the Center’s Vote for Equality and Leadership LAB programs. “How did we do it? Our team had heartfelt, reciprocal and vulnerable conversations on the doorsteps of those who opposed marriage for same-sex couples, and volunteers who were LGBT came out during their conversations.” n JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 17

>> LEELAH ALCORN <<

Activist Dan Savage calls for the prosecution of Leelah Alcorn’s parents, after suicide note reveals tragic home life.

BY O RLY LYO N N E

D

an Savage has called for the parents of Leelah Alcorn, the 17-year-old transgender girl who committed suicide last month by walking into traffic, to be held responsible for her death.

“If Tyler Clemente’s roommate could be prosecuted - and he was - then the parents of #LeelahAlcorn can & should be,” he wrote on Twitter.

Alcorn’s death has made national head-

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lines after her suicide note, scheduled to publish after her death on Tumblr, detailed the tragic home life that led her to feel hopeless. In the note, she claimed her parents had taken her out of school and confiscated her cell phone and laptop after she came out as transgender at school.

Leelah’s final Tumblr post explained that her parents had refused to give permission for her to begin transitioning, and as a result, she felt unsupported and as if there

was “no way out.”

After years of seeing Christian therapists who attempted to “cure” her, she wrote: “I have decided I’ve had enough & I’m never going to be happy.”

Activist Dan Savage called for a full investigation into the allegations, and for necessary charges to be filed.

A Change.org petition demanding the name “Leelah Alcorn” be printed on her headstone has garnished over 55,000 signatures.

The day of her death, Leelah’s mother posted a short message on Facebook, referring to her as “Joshua Alcorn.”

PHOTO CREDIT: LEELAH ALCORN

Justice For Leelah

DECEMB ER 2014 | TH E F I GH T 19

THEROSTOWREPORT >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m glad on principle that some of the discrimination has been trimmed from the FDAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blood policy, but guys: were you really that gung ho to give blood in the first place? More importantly, are any of you bad boys ever going to qualify for the one year sex restriction? I thought not.

MOON VACATIONS, ROBOT MAIDS AND MARRIAGE EQUALITY

C

an it really be 2015? Really? The date looks like flying cars, Moon vacations and robot maids. And no, I'm not talking about those gizmos that purport to clean your carpets while you watch TV. I'm talking about mechanical people who bring you cocktails on little metal trays, ask you if you want a foot rub and do your taxes.

At least we finally got video phones, which were supposed to be "just around the corner" in the 1970s. Search engines were a nice touch as well. We were also supposed to get a rocket plane that would go way up from New York, let's say, and then go down at an angle so you'd get to Tokyo in twenty minutes. What happened to that? Oh, and we got marriage equality! So who can complain?

To be more precise, we are about to get marriage equality. Maybe.

Of course, THE FIGHT readers in California are all set, but fifteen 2 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

states (including my own Lone Star state) are still hanging out to dry. On January 9, the Supreme Court will consider whether or not to accept several marriage cases, mainly those from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit. You recall that we lost those cases at the appellate court, so in theory, the Supremes cannot simply walk away from the question of marriage as they did last October.

Their decision to duck in October effectively legalized marriage in a zillion new states, which was nice. Now, however, a refusal to deal with marriage equality would create a nasty conflict in constitutional law, with marriage mandated in Montana but banned in Michigan, etc. Could the Supremes tolerate such a situation? Arguably no, but then again, this Court defies speculation. I suppose my fear right now is that they accept one or more of the cases, but defer them to the 2015/2016 session instead of scheduling arguments for this spring.

Or equally discouraging, they could do nothing and leave us in suspense for weeks.

At any rate, mark your calendars and keep an eye out for the big announcement.

CLOUDS OVER THE SUNSHINE STATE AND BETSY'S SLUMBER PARTY

M

eanwhile, it looks as if Florida could join the ranks of marriage equality states without the usual trip to the appellate court. A lower federal court decision in favor of marriage takes effect January 6th. Our opponents scurried up to the Eleventh Circuit in search of a stay while the case goes through the next stages of litigation. But what do you know!

The Eleventh Circuit refused to delay the onset of marriages.

Desperate, our adversaries

made an emergency motion to the Supreme Court, and yet again, the stay was denied.

Here's the rub. For some reason, it's not clear whether this federal ruling applies to the entire state, or just to one area.

The "confusion" has led many of the Florida clerks to decide that they will not issue marriage licenses on the 6th unless they get some clarification.

You know, it's like this. You ask Mom if you can go to Betsy's slumber party. Mom says no, because it's a school night. Claire is having a slumber party on the same night. Maybe you can go to Claire's party.

You ask Dad, who asks what Mom said. Mom did not say no to Claire's party, you tell him.

He says yes, and tells you to confirm with Mom. You then tell Mom that Dad said you could go to Claire's party. During the "confusion," you tell Dad you're going to Betsy's instead because, what's the difference?

For God's sake! A federal court struck down a state law and the highest court in the land refused to meddle with the deadline.

Why is this confusing?

BAD JUSTICE, GOOD JUSTICE AND VARIOUS LEGAL WRANGLINGS

I

n the Florida motion and a few other recent pleas to the Supreme Court, Justices Thomas and Scalia have both indicated that they would rule for a hold on marriages. That's not so surprising, but it makes you wonder why Justice Alito and the Chief Justice have not made their opposition clear as well. I don't believe Alito would ever rule in our favor, but I'm curious about the Chief Justice, who may not relish going down in the history books as one of the men who stood in opposition to equal rights for same-sex couples. He's so slippery that he might just wriggle around the subject to save his reputa-

> > M O O N V A C AT I O N S , R O B O T M A I D S , M A R R I A G E E Q U A L I T Y, C L O U D S , J U S T I C E , T A C O B E L L < <

tion with some weasel-like concurrence of his own devising.

I should also mention that the Fifth Circuit will hear arguments in cases out of Texas, Mississippi and Louisiana on January 9. Don't hold your breath for positive news out of the Fifth. But I'm thinking that by the time they finish deliberating, the Supreme Court will have taken command.

For this reason, I won't even mention the various legal wranglings in other states, where marriages are now legal and taking place but where conservatives are still wasting time and money by trying to contest court rulings.

THEY WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD

W

hat else is new?

We're kind of in a holiday lull as I

write. Perhaps I should admit that I myself am in a protracted holiday lull. But seriously, even if I were sharp as cheddar I would not have a whole hell of a lot of LGBT news to report. Much ado, for example, is being made of the fact that gay men, or I should say "men who have sex with men," can now give blood if they haven't had sex for a year.

This is supposed to be an improvement from the previous FDA policy that had placed a lifetime ban on gay male blood donors. I may have already mentioned that I view our new communal freedom to give blood much as I view the right to serve in the military or sue for wrongful death. With respectful apologies to gay soldiers out there, these are usually not activities at the top of our bucket lists, now are they? I'm glad on principle that

some of the discrimination has been trimmed from the FDA's blood policy, but Guys: were you really that gung ho to give blood in the first place? More importantly, are any of you bad boys ever going to qualify for the one year sex restriction? I thought not.

At least you have an excuse. No policy is stopping me from stepping up to the plate and contributing to my local community blood supply, but let's just say that needles are not my thing. Now that I think about it, my resting blood alcohol level might just disqualify me.

TACO BELL GAY AD MYSTERY: FAKE OR REAL?

F

inally, have any of you seen the secret Taco Bell commercial that features

two gay men carousing around after an inspirational breakfast at the chain? The ad is on YouTube, and appears by its production values to be an actual Taco Bell commercial.

That said, the spot has not aired on U.S. TV, and Taco Bell people won't say whether or not they produced it.

It's a great ad, which makes you wonder why Taco Bell would make it and not show it. Did they want to send us a subtle signal? I suppose it could be fake, but first, it's not funny enough to be fake and second, what's the point of faking a Taco Bell ad? If it's real, I think I'm almost offended that the chain would shoot it, but keep it off the mainstream media.

The implied fear of bad press undermines the positive spirit of the ad itself.

Happy New Year, everyone! n

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>> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

MARRIAGE: IS IT RIGHT FOR ME? Gay men have been forced by a homophobic and heterosexist world to question and think more critically outside the traditional relationship structures we grew up with.

G

ay menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relationships face an onslaught of repeated attacks by society-at-large. The issue of gay marriage is the tangible pinnacle of this hatred, the bulls-eye.

In the U.S. as of the end of 2014, approximately two-thirds of the states allow same-sex couples the choice to have legal marriages, with one third still opposing such rights. While we may want the option to get married, will we choose to do so? Will it help or hurt us?

How will marriage equality impact gay relationships, and to what degree? What kind of influence will gay marriage have in 2 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

BY JAMES GUAY, LMFT

redefining the social construct of marriage?

How will this more inclusive definition of marriage influence our vision of our selves, and of its institution? And on a more pragmatic front, will same-sex marriage open up other topics related to basic civil rights issues, such as protections from housing and employment discrimination?

MALE DOMINANCE As a gay Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has actively supported marriage and family equality, I see the complexities that arise out of the cultural institution of marriage, and how these play out, conscious-

ly or unconsciously, on our lives as gay men.

No human-made institution is perfect, and marriageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s long history of exclusion has, until recently, provided a very limited lens on what it has deemed appropriate.

Marriage, at its worst, has functioned as an exclusionary and devaluing institution: it has devalued anyone who is female, LGBTQ, single, childless, or in an interracial relationship, as well as relationships that are nonmonogamous or polyamorous.

It has upheld male dominance and privilege through strict social hierarchies that promote the heterosexual ideal.

However, we have also seen a drastic

>> MARRIAGE <<

and powerful social shift in redefining what marriage means today, with the help of the woman’s and gay rights movements. Just as feminism has helped to empower women in their relationships, so too, marriage equality is changing the landscape of what it means to be married in a same-gender relationship. For many today, marriage is a way of signifying the importance of their relationship and their commitment.

SOCIETY’S SCAPEGOATS Historically, gay men have been forced by a homophobic and heterosexist world to question and think more critically outside the traditional relationship structures we grew up with, and later, discover relationship dynamics that work better for us. Of course, without the same kind of societal/ familial support that our straight counterparts have, it has not always been an easy endeavor.

Due to societal unease with same-sex relationships and gender diversity, we’ve often internalized these messages and learn to devalue our selves and each other.

Unfortunately, when we’ve been society’s scapegoats for decades, we can end up treating each other in a similar fashion.

We may judge each other based on gender expression, age, socio-economic status and body shape, size and color.

We also may defend against being hurt by walling ourselves off from our real authenticity.

Out of self-protection, we limit our abilities to be deeply and emotionally intimate with one another.

Thankfully, that’s not our only option.

And when we heal, grow, and evolve as individuals we also expand our capacity to be in a loving, sexual, and mutually fulfilling relationship.

We learn that operating at our best is actually being genuinely compassionate with ourselves and with those around us.

We move from self-hatred to tolerance, to self-acceptance and, hopefully, to a genuine appreciation for who we actually are and what we have to offer the world.

TRADITIONAL PARADIGMS We are both harmed and healed in relationships. In constructing our most intimate relationships, we can do so with care, mindfulness, and grace; or instead, operate out of the mercy of our unconscious, directed unknowingly by the winds of societal shaming and devaluing who we are as gay men.

We can let the world define us and

our relationships. We can use traditional paradigms, like marriage, to boost our relationship’s status.

We can reject various forms of relationships that no longer work for us. We learn that there is not one “right” way and “wrong” way, although there may be a way that works best for us individually or in a relationship. What works for me may not work for you, and visa versa. We can get creative and find a way that works for us. What we may imagine getting from a particular form of a relationship may or may not come to fruition, regardless of our best efforts.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT According to a recent research article, same-sex couples and straight couples in marriage-like commitments are similarly

Regardless of the form our relationships take, having honest conversations about agreements and getting clear consent can strengthen our relationships, whether they are monogamous, monogam-ish, open or polyamorous. stable. It appears that making a strong long-term commitment to a loved one increases the likelihood that it will come to fruition, regardless of sexual orientation.

The longer a couple is together, the more time they have to integrate their lives, work out difficulties, share bonding experiences, and the less likely they are to break up.

Divorce rates have gone down substantially in the heterosexual world since the 1970s and early 1980s, especially among college educated couples. They have also married less, more frequently married for love, and waited longer to marry.

So, what does all this mean for gay marriage? Is it helpful or damaging to our specific relationships?

Like many things, it depends on our intentions, actions, and inactions.

Are you marrying because you finally can?

Are you marrying as a political act? Do you

hope that being legally married will change something about your relationship and/or how people treat you? How well do you know the person you’re marrying?

DEFINING RELATIONSHIPS Another recent research article describes an all-too-common occurrence among gay men expecting or hoping for support from their family of origin: rejection. The symbolic importance of marriage may cause some family member s to more vocally come out against samesex marriage, whereas previously a tacit tolerance may have been misconstrued as support. Those who marry out of the wish that this would bring more acceptance from their families may be sadly disappointed to experience more overt rejection from certain family members.

In contrast, many same-sex couples describe receiving even more support for their relationship from friends and family after they get married.

To survive, we’ve had to critically think about what we’ve been told about sex, love and relationships. As gay men, we have an opportunity to define our relationships in a way that makes the most sense for us. What aspects of traditional values, if any, work for us and are worth maintaining? What new and improved ones do we want to create? Do we take the construct of marriage and change the way we define it to meet our own needs and relationship?

Or do we create relationships outside of this structure?

Regardless of the form our relationships take, having honest conversations about agreements and getting clear consent can strengthen our relationships, whether they are monogamous, monogam-ish, open or polyamorous.

It is important to give careful thought to how marriage legality will affect our particular relationship. What are our expectations? Have we communicated these with our partner? What are the responsibilities and financial impact that come from a legal marriage?

And, how can we be more loving, compassionate, and respectful of our relationships, with or without marriage?

James Guay, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mft 39252), is a West Hollywood based psychotherapist for individuals and couples, specializing in affirmative LGBTQ health and well being. www.LivingMoreFully. com, 310-405-0840.

JANUAR Y 2015 | THE F I GH T 23

> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

ing It As a gay, black single father in Hollywood, Karamo Brown makes his #OWN way.

2 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

reality television anymore,” he says. “We’re not having those conversations. If we’re not having those conversations about real issues, then people are not going to be concerned.”

RAISING TWO BLACK MEN Speaking with Brown, it becomes abundantly clear that his career path in Hollywood doesn’t define him. He’s got something to say, and he’s determined to

“A lot of us have accepted being the token. It’s played out.

It’s done. It’s 2015. Stop allowing yourself to be fetishized.”

use his multiple platforms to say it. He’s open and outspoken about issues on both race and LGBT rights on “Dr. Drew On Call.” As the country is embroiled in a myriad of protests and racial unrest regarding the killing of multiple unarmed black men by white police officers and the lack of legal action against them, Brown is hyper aware of what it means to be raising two black men as a single father.

He has an 18 year old biological son as well as a 14 year old that he adopted from the same mother, and feels a deep responsibility to equip them to deal with a world that far too often sees young black men as menacing.

The conversation about race is one that he’s had “at least once every week” since his sons became a part of his life.

“All of these men are the same age as my kids, and to prepare them I say ‘this is what’s happening in the streets, and I need you to understand how you’re going to be perceived in this world,’” he says. “It’s a hard conversation but it’s a conversation that has to be had because I have to prepare them.”

However, there is much more to him as a father than just talking with his sons about race. You may just catch them at the same concerts, wearing the same brands, or watching the same television shows.

Brown is only 15 years older than his eldest.

Since they’re so close in age, they have a relationship that he admits can at times be more similar to two brothers than father and son. “I’m able to relate with him in a new way which allows us to have conversations that are just great... I have other friends of mine who are much older than their kids and they can’t talk to their kids like that,” he reveals. Still, he’s outspoken about the fact that he’s the parent. “They’re still kids and they get on my nerves and I have to discipline them when needed. That’s the parent part.”

WHITE PRIVILEGE Brown is equally as outspoken about the thorny racial issues at play within the LGBT community, starting with the relative

PHOTO BY JEFF BEASLEY

K

aramo Brown is a very busy man. An average day consists of waking up and hosting his digital show on the OWN network, #OWNSHOW, developing television show concepts with his newly formed production company, sifting through potential modeling work and other on-camera opportunities, and then heading over to film nightly segments as a commentator on “Dr. Drew On Call” on HLN. Oh, and he has to be home in time to have dinner on the table for his two teenage sons. And then? “I do it all over again,” he says, laughing with just a hint of exasperation.

He’s eager and excited to talk about #OWNSHOW, the OWN network’s first foray into the digital realm. The show features daily clips on everything from home to lifestyle to cooking segments and celebrity interviews. Brown has a relaxed and natural presence on camera, a skill that he’s spent the past three years perfecting.

With #OWNSHOW heading into its third season, his modeling career “blowing up,” and his oldest son now a senior in high school—it all seems more than a little hectic, but Brown seems to thrive on the energy.

Brown first came to prominence as the first gay black man featured on MTV’s iconic The Real World—that was ten years ago in a much different era for reality television.

While he’s proud of the impact he made being on the show, Brown says he has seen a definite change for the worse in reality television since he made a splash in it. He seems to think that dealing with real issues within reality television is a thing of the past. “I’m just not seeing the deeper conversation in

BY ROB SMITH

> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

lack of response by many mainstream LGBT organizations in regards to Ferguson or the #blacklivesmatter movement.

“As a community we should be more empathetic towards what those of us who are African-American men are going through. We need to see more LGBT organizations take a stand and show support for the black community during this difficult time,” he says.

Brown definitely sees a connection between the silence from mainstream LGBT organizations and the lack of more diverse faces in LGBT media.

As an openly gay black man being profiled for a mainstream LGBT magazine, Brown realizes he is in rarefied company.

Ten years after he broke barriers for black gay men in media, representations are still few and far between.

Some of the blame—says Brown— must be laid at the hands of those who control the media. “White men who are disenfranchised in American society come into the gay community and claim themselves as what is perfection,” he states.

“I mean look at that ‘Out100’ list. How many people of color are on there? 10 out of 100? You’re telling me that you couldn’t find at least 50% of color and doing something positive in our community?”

Those in positions of power within the media, says Brown, are missing the point when they don’t realize that their struggles are very similar to those who are disenfranchised.

“How do you get to those white men and say check your white privilege at the door and understand that the struggles you’re going through—I have similar struggles—and that we should be supporting each other?” he asks. “How do we get editors and producers to see as much value in bringing in an LGBT black man as they do in a white man? That’s where the change is going to happen.”

Brown doesn’t let black gays off the hook either. To him, diversity is about more than just being a token or being comfortable with being the only black guy in the room. “A lot of us have accepted being the token. It’s played out. It’s done. It’s 2015. Stop allowing yourself to be fetishized,” he says.

CREATING REAL CHANGE

Speaking of 2015, one of his chief goals for the new year is to spend as much time creating real change as he does with his career in the entertainment industry. But, will he be doing that alone? Brown is coy about his relationship status, but “as a bit of a fat ass,” a love of food is definitely a requirement of his future husband. He ultimately sees himself with someone that he can build and grow with, a partner in every sense of the word. Until that happens, he’s content with continuing to reap the benefits of his years of hard work getting to this point.

Whether advocating for the LGBT community in primetime, modeling in front of the camera, shooting #OWNSHOW or building his new production company from the ground up, it’s clear that Brown is a man on a mission both to create change and to be the change he wants to see.

“This is my fight... our fight... and we all must do our part.” Karamo Brown continues to be one loud, proud, and outspoken gay man that is definitely doing his.

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THEDOCTOR >> BY TONY MILLS, MD <<

BACK TO THE FUTURE

I

The end of AIDS: HIV treatment prevents new HIV infections.

n the December issue of THE FIGHT (Issue #47) as we celebrated World AIDS Day I talked about the admirable efforts of cities such as New York, San Francisco, and West Hollywood to achieve an AIDS-free generation. "AIDS-free" might mean no progress from HIV to AIDS or it might mean no new HIV diagnoses. But how can we stop HIV transmission completely? How can we end AIDS?

INTIMATE CONNECTION For many years, those of us who saw a lot of HIV patients recognized that something about taking HIV medications and becoming undetectable was having a big effect on the risk of HIV transmission.

Serodiscordant couples (with one positive partner and one negative partner) who were together for many years remained serodiscordant.

If the positive partner was on medications and his virus was undetectable in his blood, we didn't see any transmission. Over time, safe sex precautions often lapse in long-term relationships. Sometimes the negative partner would willingly accept a greater risk to achieve a more intimate connection with his positive partner.

And in spite of this potentially increased exposure, we did not see HIV transmission. Even though we had this real world experience, no one would say that treating HIV decreased the risk of transmission. We didn't know for sure. Everyone was afraid they might be wrong.

2 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

GROUNDBREAKING ADVANCEMENT In 2011, we had the first grade A evidence that HIV treatment decreased HIV transmission. The HIV Prevention Trials Network Study 052 (HPTN 052) provided randomized clinical trial data to support the premise that people living with HIV who started antiretroviral therapy had a significantly lower risk of transmitting the virus to their negative partners compared to those who were not on treatment.

Science Magazine called this revelation the "Breakthrough of the Year" in 2011. This was a groundbreaking advancement but some critics were still not convinced.

The efficacy of antiretroviral therapy at reducing HIV transmission from the HIV-positive partner to the HIV-negative one was at least 96% but most couples

The treatment of HIV positive persons with antiretroviral agents will take us a long way in stopping HIV transmission and getting us to an AIDS-free world. were heterosexual, and the study contained too few gay couples to establish if the same applied to them (or rather to anal sex). In addition, there is often a criticism that what is demonstrated so clearly in clinical trials might not hold up in the real world. Many were still afraid to speak up for fear that they might be disproven.

> > G R O U N D B R E A K I N G A D V A N C E M E N T, A N T I R E T R O V I R A L T H E R A P Y, A M A Z I N G S T U D Y R E S U LT S < <

ANTIRETROVIRAL THERAPY In 2014, the results of the Partner study were presented and this data made clear the fact that antiretroviral therapy (ART) works as a prevention tool in multiple populations and outside of a clinical trial.

The Partner study included 1,110 HIV serodiscordant couples in Europe, most heterosexual but nearly 40% were gay men. All couples were having sex without condoms at least part of the time.

The HIV-negative partner could not be using post-exposure or pre-exposure prophylaxis (PEP or PrEP) and the HIV positive partner had to be on ART, with the most recent viral load below 200 copies/ml. Safe sex counseling was provided and couples were seen every 6 months and at these visits the positive partner was confirmed

to be undetectable and the negative partner was confirmed to still be negative.

AMAZING STUDY RESULTS Lots of sex went on during the study. During a median follow-up of 1.1 years in men who have sex with men (MSM), 1.5 years in heterosexual men, and 1.5 years in heterosexual women, the estimated total numbers of condom-free sex acts were 16,400, 14,000 and 14,000 respectively. This translates into 43, 37, and 37 condom free sex acts per year for MSM and heterosexual men and women respectively.

Self reported non-adherence to HIV medications (missing more than 10% of your doses) was rare in the infected partners.

However, other sexually transmitted infections (STI) were not rare with 16% of MSM

diagnosed with an STI and 5% of heterosexuals.

The results of the Partners study were amazing. Despite the unprotected sex and even the STIs which we know can increase the risk of HIV transmission, NO TRANSMISSIONS OCCURRED THAT COULD BE LINKED FROM THE INFECTED PARTNER TO THE UNINFECTED PARTNER. Of course, no transmissions is not the same as zero chance of transmission.

The researchers established that there was a 95% chance that (in a couple whose sexual activity is average for the group studied) the greatest-possible risk of transmission from a partner was 0.45% per year and from anal sex was 1% a year.

This means that there was a maximum 5% chance that over a ten-year period, one in ten HIVnegative partners in a gay couple

who had unprotected anal sex might acquire HIV. Equally, though, it was more likely that their chance of acquiring HIV from their partner was nearer to zero, and indeed could be zero.

The study will go on until 2017 and is still recruiting gay male couples to participate. As time goes by we will gather more and more data. The results to date of the Partner Study help to reinforce the data from HPTN 052 and reassure us that treatment of HIV positive persons with antiretroviral agents will take us a long way in stopping HIV transmission and getting us to an AIDS-free world. n Dr. Tony Mills is a leading LAbased clinician in the fields of men's health and wellness. He can be contacted via his web site: SoCalMensHealth.com or at or at (310) 550-1010.

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BENJI, THE GAY BULL

“COMPANY” MUSICAL >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

exactly “well known.” As for “c,” it didn’t happen in 2014 as the quiz had predicted, but there’s still hope. The High Court will again consider whether or not to accept a marriage case during their January 9 conference. I think it’s common knowledge that gay men and lesbians are smarter than most and that Lincoln had a gay streak at the very least, but absolute proof eluded us last year. And we’re still waiting for the aliens. Maybe in 2015.

And now, to the quiz!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Q1. In Cameroon, a man was charged with the crime of sodomy because: a) He wore a chartreuse cummerbund to his sister’s wedding, b) He knew the entire score of “Company,” c) He enjoyed the occasional Bailey’s Irish Cream, d) He had an HRC equal sign sticker on his car.

Q2. Benji, an Irish bull who preferred the company of his male pasture-mates, was saved from the slaughterhouse by: a) Simpson creator Sam Simon, b) Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich, c) Facebook millionaire Chris Hughes, d) Appellate lawyer Ted Olson.

ELLEN PAGE

The More You Know Test your knowledge of recent LGBT events with Ann Rostow’s long-awaited, amazingly popular, always thought provoking annual news quiz.

BY A N N RO STO W

H

appy New Year dear readers of THE FIGHT and welcome to our annual LGBT News Quiz! I was just glancing over last year’s quiz, and noticed the final question: “The biggest GLBT news story in 2014 will be: a) the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand a 10th Circuit ruling in favor of same-sex couples, b) a well-known American athlete, in either football, baseball or basketball, coming out of the closet,

30 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

c) the Supreme Court’s decision to accept a marriage equality case for the 2014/2015 term, d) the discovery of a link between homosexuality and high IQ levels, e) undeniable proof that Abraham Lincoln was gay, f) visitors from another planet who convince the world to come together in peace and end prejudice in all contexts.”

Who the Hell would have guessed the answer would be “a?” I know Michael Sam came out of the closet, but the man wasn’t

Q3. Who on the following list did not come out of the closet in 2014? a) Ellen Page, b) Apple CEO Tim Cook, c) Lithuanian Foreign Minister Linas Linkevicius, d) Christian singer Vicky Beeching, e) Kellogg’s mascot Tony the Tiger.

Q4. A kickstarter campaign directed at our community is aiming to raise money for: a) A sanctuary for gay penguins, b) A coffee table book of vaginas illustrated by gay men, c) A forgiveness stone to be placed near the grave of Fred Phelps, d) A documentary about lesbian POWS in World War Two. Q5.Some sorority girls at Hofstra University made the news for: a) Forcing pledges to perform oral sex, b) Getting kicked out of cab in the dead of night on the Interstate for kissing, c) Suing the school after it removed a Pastafarian tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, d) Wearing T-Shirts that said lobsters were an abomination.

>> NEWS QUIZ <<

Q8. Catholic institutions reacted to marriage equality by: a) Firing a recently married music teacher, b) Barring two elderly parishioners from communion based on their Washington wedding, c) Dismissing a pregnant lesbian teacher who was starting a family with her wife, d) Dumping a hospital administrator who wrote an op-ed in favor of equality, e) All of the above.

Q9. Who said what? a) “Fucking faggot.”

Q10. After marriage equality, the next objective of the gay rights movement will be: a) Adding “sexual orientation” to the list of classes protected against discrimination under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, b) Defeating legislative efforts that purport to protect religious freedom at the expense of LGBT customers, c) Consolidating the global community in a fight against homophobia in Africa and the Middle East, d) Raising money for a coffee table book that features penises illustrated by lesbians.

ANSWERS

Q7. In 2014, 19 states moved to marriage equality. How many of these states were not under a mandate from a federal appellate court? a) Three, b) Two, c) Four, d) Zero.

b) “Gays are fine, as long as “they leave the children alone.” c) “I would never do an ad with a homosexual family.” d) “My belief system in the Bible says you can’t be gay. That’s a sin.” e) “I may have the genetic coding to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that and I look at homosexuality the same way.” f) “If your parents were faggots, you horrible gay cunts wouldn’t have been born.” g) “I respect (gay people), but honestly I don’t think it’s a good example for kids.”

A1. c) A judge felt that Bailey’s was a feminine drink.

A2. a) Considered useless as a stud, the owner was sending Benji to the butcher block.

A3. c) and e) It was the Latvian Foreign Minister, Edgars Rinkevics, who came out of the closet, and Tony is simply a straight ally.

A4. b) I wonder if the book is out. It’s called Gay Men Draw Vaginas.

A5. a) Did I forget to say “allegedly?” Sorry!

The girls in the cab were from Portland Oregon, and were coming home from a Vegan Strip Club.

A6. c) It’s actually Town of Greece, but that makes it obvious. The juror case, which elevated sexual orientation to a suspect class, came out of the Ninth Circuit. The High Court ducked the bracelet case in favor of the students, and ruled for corporate religious freedom in the Hobby Lobby case.

A7. a) Illinois legalized marriage in 2013, effective 2014. Both Oregon and Pennsylvania legalized marriage on the orders of a lower federal court.

A8. a) b) and c). I made up the hospital administrator but really, how many examples do we need?

A9. a) Golfer Patrick Reed, to himself after missing a putt. b) Vladimir Putin c) Barilla Pasta chairman Guido Barilla d) Masters champion Bubba Watson e) Texas governor Rick Perry f) Some nutcase from Newcastle named Paul Gair, who was charged with hate speech after a Facebook rant. g) “The Bachelor,” Juan Pablo Galavis A10. Don’t know the answer, but I have my sketch pad handy.

Q6. In Greece v Galloway, the Supreme Court ruled: a) That a school district had the right to ban bracelets reading: ‘I Heart Boobies,’ b) That a for profit company could sidestep federal law based on the owner’s faith, c) That a town council could start virtually every session with a Christian prayer, d) That a prospective juror may not be dismissed based on sexual orientation alone.

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THELAW >> 2014 LAW CHANGES <<

of actively communicating, the majority of public opinion changed.

We didn’t shut up. We began to listen. More than that, we began to let the anti-LGBT person we were listening. This is called “active listening.”

A good listener is “nonevaluative.” He or she doesn’t judge or analyze what the anti-LGBT person is saying at first, but focuses on trying to understand their perspective.

Active listening has three components: paraphrasing, questioning, and recognition: • Paraphrase: “It sounds as if you’re alright with my partner and I’s relationship.

But if I understand correctly, you need me to assure you that you’re concerned about the welfare of your children and society as whole.

You’re also concerned about LGBT rights going against your religious beliefs. Have I captured your main points?”

I HEAR YOU

Active listening and how our laws changed in 2014.

BY D AVID H A KIMFA R

L

et’s face it, 2014 has been a pretty incredible year for LGBT rights. Nobody could have predicted that burning, long-held fears of the populace would be extinguished so fast. We’re not yet fully equal under the law, but at least now we can see light at the end of the tunnel. We have witnessed some monumental ends of discrimination on LGBT marriage, LGBT blood donating, and even buying LGBT wedding cakes.

Think about it: What has pushed these winds of change? What has changed the behavior of those who once were against LGBT rights?

At the heart of it, there is truly only one answer: communication.

People against LGBT rights didn’t think they were wrong. We’ve tried in the past to shut them up or talk over them. And in return, the antis would react and interpret it as a status game where we’re just trying to win.

Yet, once LGBT and non-LGBT alike took the age-old approach 3 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

• Question: “You mentioned that you believe LGBT rights to be conflict with long-held religious doctrine. Help me understand how you came to this conclusion. Let’s also talk about how we can envision a life where we could co-exist and be more reasonable.

• Recognize: “It sounds as if you’re quite upset with some LGBT rights we seek, so much so that you have serious concerns about whether our society will be able to function.”

We’ve begun to employ the same technique FBI hostage negotiators use to de-escalate incidents and save lives.

According to Chris Voss, FBI negotiator, if while you’re making your argument, the only time the other side is silent is because they’re thinking about their own argument, they’ve got a voice in their head that’s talking to them. They’re not listening to you. When they’re

making their argument to you, you’re thinking about your argument, that’s the voice in your head that’s talking to you.

So it’s very much like dealing with a schizophrenic.

If your first objective in the negotiation, instead of making your argument, is to hear the other side out, that’s the only way you can quiet the voice in the other guy’s mind. But most people don’t do that. They don’t walk into a negotiation wanting to hear what the other side has to say.

They walk into a negotiation wanting to make an argument.

They don’t pay attention to emotions and they don’t listen.

Think this is wrong? Well, a recent study suggests otherwise. Last month, the journal Science, using data collected by the Los Angeles LGBT Center, discovered something remarkable. The Center sent pro-gay marriage canvassers to areas of Southern California which had voted overwhelmingly in favor of Proposition 8 (California’s 2008 ballot proposition eliminating the right of same-sex couples to marry). Respondents who had discussed gay marriage with canvassers who were instructed to reveal that they were gay and hoping to get married showed less prejudice towards gay people following their discussions. “Those who discussed same-sex marriage with straight canvassers quickly reverted to their pretreatment baseline opinions, and 90% of the initial treatment effect dissipated a month after the conversation with canvassers.” The sole effort which proved enduring were of the gay canvassers. Moreover, the respondents who spoke to gay canvassers remained just as enlightened nine months later.

David Hakimfar is a trial attorney and senior partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC, and a member attorney of Pride Legal.

He can be reached at 310-730-1250.

THEPETS >> MICROCHIP YOUR PET <<

Volunteering has given me 6,000 hours of smiles.

Microchip Your Dog Joel, D.A.P. client

Get peace of mind—microchip your pet at Animal Medical Hospital of Pasadena.

BY O RLY LYO N N E

E

ach year thousands of pets become separated from their owners, from the gardener leaving the gate open to slipping off a leash or simply running away.

A microchip is similar in size to a grain of rice. It is implanted between the shoulder blades just under the skin. The procedure is very quick and similar to giving a vaccine.

Each microchip has its own identification number. This number along with the owner’s information, pet information and emergency contact is added into a national pet registry. Most animal shelters as well as veterinary hospitals have electronic scanners which detect and read these chips. If a pet is found and brought in to either the animal shelter or a veterinary hospital, the pet is automatically scanned. If a microchip number appears, the national pet registry is called and the owner contacted.

Ask Animal Medical Hospital of Pasadena about microchipping your pet and possibly saving their life.

Animal Medical Hospital of Pasadena is a large, modern facility that offers a wide range of services.

They are a full service veterinary clinic offering comprehensive diagnostics, as well as full medical and dental care. They have three full-time veterinarians and a great support staff who are very compassionate and dedicated to their patients, your pets.

Whether it’s an emergency or regular preventative treatment Animal Medical Hospital of Pasadena is the best choice for quality veterinary service.

Be sure to ask them about their low-cost spay and neuter clinic! n Animal Medical Hospital is located at 2116 E. Colorado Blvd. In Pasadena.

Tel: 626-796-3019. Web site: amhpasadena.com.

D.A.P. treats and supports the whole person Medical issues and depression pretty much kept me homebound—until I decided to give back a little bit of what I’ve received. Since Revivals has been supporting the mission of D.A.P. by providing a big part of its revenue, I knew it would be a great way for me to get back into the swing of things, while doing something really worthwhile. Now, I’ve logged 6,000 hours as a volunteer at the Palm Springs Revivals store. And every smile I get from our customers tells me I’m helping to make a difference!

This and more...all under one roof Thanks to your generous support, Desert AIDS Project has been saving lives for more than 30 years.

Please continue to help by donating at desertAIDSproject.org, joining one of our annual giving programs, or by saving the date for one of our upcoming fundraising events.

Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards Gala | February 7, 2015

760.323.2118

desertAIDSproject.org

JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 33

Fresh Start 2015 >> DENTAL IMPLANTS <<

Smile Like You Mean It

The ins and outs of dental implant surgery with leading Beverly Hills periodontist Dr. Mahnaz Rashti.

C

reating healthy smiles utilizing the best restoration method for missing or damaged natural teeth requires the care of a periodontist—a dental implant expert— who is specially trained and skilled in implant dentistry.

A periodontist is a dentist who specializes in the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of periodontal disease, and in the placement of dental implants. Periodontists receive extensive training in these areas, including three to five additional years of education beyond dental school.

According to Dr. Mahnaz Rashti, a respected Beverly Hills based periodontist, many patients in need of “Dental a dental implant expert look for “the right price rather than the implants—when right surgeon.” placed properly and “Placement and restoration placed by the proper of a dental implant is a very technique-sensitive procedure surgeon—should not be that needs to be conducted by painful, nor should fail a surgeon periodontist rather than a general dentist,” states if you follow your Dr. Rashti. doctor’s advice.”

“I have heard countless stories of patients coming from other dental practices who experienced severe pain when they had their dental implants placed, or that their dental implants failed,” reveals Dr. Rashti.

“I hate to sound like a broken record but shopping for the ‘right price’ rather than the right surgeon and right practice is usually the reason why the procedure goes awry.”

“Dental implants—when placed properly and placed by the proper surgeon—should not be painful, nor should fail if you follow your doctor’s advice,” states Dr. Rashti.

Dr. Rashti is well-known in her field for treating patients who have experienced dental implant failure with other dentists.

“The most frustrating and common problem I encounter when I retreat patients who have had their implants done by a non-specialDr. ist, is infection and damage to the bone,” reveals Dr. Rashti.

Mahnaz Rashti “In the oral cavity, the amount of bone is very minimal—mea-

34 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

sured by millimeters. It is very important to properly manage the patient’s own remaining bone as it is very costly and time consuming to recreate that bone,” explains Dr. Rashti.

If you are in need of dental implants—or any other dental treatment—Dr. Rashti can be reached at (310) 623-3330. For more information visit: dentalimplant90210.com.

>> LIPSUCTION <<

Streamlining Your Body Top rated plastic surgeon Dr. Dennis Dass on everything you need to know about liposuction.

Who is the best candidate for liposuction?

Ideal candidates are healthy, but have stubborn fat deposits that they would like to have removed to improve overall contour.

How is the procedure done?

SmartLipo is a minimally invasive procedure that removes unwanted fat in one treatment session. This is an awake procedure that is done in the office. Small incisions are created to administer tumescent anesthesia. Then a laser is used to melt fat cells and tighten the skin. Liposuction is then used to remove the unwanted fat cells.

For men - what are the most commonly treated areas?

SmartLipo is a Liposuction has become increasingly popular in men. The most minimally invasive common area is the abdomen, procedure that removes love handles, chest, and chin.

Is liposuction safe? What are the potential risks, if any?

Liposuction is a safe procedure when performed by a qualified surgeon. The risk of uneven fat removal is lower with the laser and the use of new smaller cannulas.

unwanted fat in one treatment session. This is an awake procedure that is done in the office.

Typically, after the procedure, when will one see the desired results?

Recovery is usually pretty quick, most patients are able to go back to work within a few days. By the second week, patients notice that they are smaller than they were before the procedure.

By the sixth week, most of the swelling is gone, and the results look quite nice.

What is the cost range of the procedure?

Cost will be determined after a customized plan is developed.

The cost will vary depending on the number of areas treated, weight, and amount of time required to complete the procedure.

The treatment of one area starts as low as $3500 and discounts are applied as more areas are treated.

Dennis Dass, MD

Dr. Dennis Dass is in private practice in Beverly Hills, California. He is a Diplomate of the American Board of Plastic Surgery and an active member of the American Society of Plastic Surgery. He specializes in cosmetic plastic surgery and non-surgical rejuvenation. Dr. Dass has received several awards and honors and has been featured as a Top Plastic Surgeon in Beverly Hills. For more information visit his website at www.DassMD.com.

JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 35

Fresh Start 2015 >> ADVERTORIAL <<

Dr. Kahen, how has hair restoration changed over the past few years? Are there any new procedures today that promote a quicker and fuller head of hair?

There is now no linear scaring in follicular unit extraction technique and the recovery is much quicker. My technique in particular—using Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) in tumescence during the procedure—improves the growth of the follicles and reduces scarring. A slightly quicker recovery is another result of PRP in tumescence. I’ve found this technique to provide my patients with more benefits for their hair restoration procedures.

Who is the best candidate for hair restoration?

The best candidates for hair restoration surgery are: • Men who have been losing their hair due to male pattern baldness for more than five years or who have progressed to a class 3 or above.

• Men with realistic expectations who understand that their hair loss may continue to progress even if they are taking prescription medication to stop the progression.

• Men who have been balding for many years and who’s balding pattern has stabilized.

• Men and women who have lost hair due to trauma or injuries.

• Men and women who have lost hair due to other cosmetic procedures such as facelifts or electrolysis.

Typically—how long does it take to achieve a fuller head of hair—and what is the average cost?

It takes about eight months to a year to see the complete results and the average cost is approximately $6000, however it varies depending on the procedure—since every patient has different needs and may require more or less grafts. The cost also depends on what method is used: Follicular Unit Extraction or Strip Harvest.

What should a potential candidate be looking for when choosing a hair restoration clinic.

It’s important to find a clinic that is exclusive to hair restoration.

Many cosmetic clinics harbor surgeons that perform different types of surgeries whereas a clinic that only focuses on hair restoration will have highly skilled surgeons with more experience. These surgeons have more practice in the field and are often more knowledgeable in knowing what the patient will benefit from the most.

36 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

Is there anything we haven’t asked you, Dr. Kahen, that you would like to share with our readers?

I’d love to share my recent development on an innovative new technique where platelet rich plasma (PRP) is incorporated into tumescence during hair restoration surgery.

Tumescence in surgical hair restoration is a state of temporary plumping and swelling the skin by injecting normal saline fluid into the fat layer of the scalp for the purpose of minimizing blood loss, making skin more rigid to facilitate the incision without damaging hair follicles, helping the doctor avoid damage to deeper blood vessels and nerves, and to offer prolonged postoperative anesthesia.

My technique is different because in addition to saline solution I amalgamate PRP in tumescence to achieve even greater results.

After extensive research, I found this technique offers numerous benefits for hair restoration surgery. This technique’s main asset is that it increases the survival rate of the transplanted hair follicles.

Having a high follicle survival rate provides optimal results for hair restoration surgery.

PRP in tumescence also has been shown to accelerate wound healing and tissue repair, speed up hair growth, stimulate thin (miniaturized) hair to grow into thicker (terminal) hairs, and minimizes potential scarring. This technique creates an enormous difference in results. So far I am the only doctor using PRP in tumescence for hair restoration surgery.

To learn more about hair restoration and treatment call Dr. Kahen at 888-902-1084 or visit: beverlyhillshr.com.

>> WARRIOR SPIRIT <<

The Warrior Within Enhance, redefine, and cultivate the spirit of the warrior in you at The Paradise Warrior Retreat Center.

BY VICTO R MELA MED

T

he Paradise Warrior Retreat Center is a melting pot for warriors of all ages, genders, nationalities, religions and disciplines. The purpose of the seminar-retreat is to provide attendees with the principles and strategies of fighting, which can be applied in any type of combat, or in day-to-day survival.

The seminars help you shed the ties of western civilization and connect you with the elements of nature and the core of

your own soul.

The instructors at the seminar are all martial arts legends, world champions and role models. The seminar is meant for anyone with or without experience. The classes are not only about fighting: they are about discipline, principles, techniques and strategies.

The seminar’s main goal is to enhance, redefine, and cultivate the spirit of the warrior in you. It is about teaching the “Way of the Warrior,” his codes and principles. It is

about reaching a higher spiritual awareness, understanding your main goals and purpose in life, and learning how to achieve them.

The seminar-retreat is conducted in a safe environment with an emphasis on the individual’s level of knowledge. All beginners will be taught and tutored by the instructors. All advanced students will be able to practice with guest MMA fighter.

Register NOW to enjoy a weekend of training and fun with MMA’s best.

Beginners, those without experience or experts - all are welcome.

The seminar takes place at The LA Convention Center, February 7-8, 2015, from 10am-5pm.

To register call (877) 797-1001 or visit paradisewarriorretreat.com.

JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 37

Days Into Years I’m here to identify and to testify that sobriety happens, recovery works, and change is possible.

BY PAULO MURI LLO

B

severe case of rehab, others break out in handcuffs, and some y the time this ditty hits the streets, I will have celebrated 8 catch a ride in a coffin). years of continuous clean and sober time.

January 10 marks an even-numbered milestone DRUNKEN DRUGALOGUE in recovery for a once kerazy bitch who couldn’t scrape together more than eight hours of sober Don’t get me wrong—being under the influclarity during those final endless nights when all ence was a shit load of fun in the beginning.

Of all my past I did was lean over a mirror to snort whatever Those who say they wouldn’t trade their was scraped in front of me. worst day sober for their best day loaded, incarnations, I truly This is my first shot at sobriety. A relapse are either full of it, or they didn’t party love where I am today. is not part of my story—it can be—but like I partied in the kerazy years. I was a you know what, it doesn’t have to be. For WeHo party boy of merit. I was a happy Goodbye Tragica. So long whatever reason, I received the umm, “call” drunk. I was the good time guy. I was the Regretta. Today I am a to give the shit a rest and I’ve managed to frisky hooker from hell. Then crystal meth steer clear of alcohol and mind-altering drugs kicked in, and they called me Evil Lena, The sober man; on purpose; all these years with the help of something Queen of Mean, Tragica Jenkins, and some with purpose. that’s much greater than myself, because hard dubbed me Regretta Jones. as I tried, I could not lay off of the drugs on my You can pretty much Mad Lib the rest of my own in the 11 years that I was out. drunken drugalogue. I wanted to drink like a lady I’m here to identify and to testify that sobriety hapand snort like an aristocratic gent, but that is not part pens, recovery works, and change is possible for anyone of my story either. Addiction doesn’t work that way. Crystal who has an allergic reaction to drinking and using (some get a meth eventually beat me to submission.

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MEASURING STICK I can’t believe all that shit went down over eight years ago. Trust me, no one is more shocked by el numero ocho limpio y sobrio than yours truly. I reckon that sober days turn into sober years when you don’t drink or use no matter what—24 hours a day—one day at a time— sometimes one minute at a time, but every day I don’t drink or use is a straight-up to the head-up miracle.

I don’t know what it’s like to start over sober, but having eight years is better than being newly sober. There can be a lot of emphasis on time in the land of recovery. Some people use sober time as a measuring stick for a person’s level of competence, sanity, and even humanity. Often times, if you’re new, you don’t know diddly squat about nothing. Sit down and shut up. You’re just a baby—yeah, there is some truth to the levels of craziness that you get from someone fresh off of drugs, but the part where I felt dismissed as a newcomer and did not feel recognized as a human being who was in a hell of hurt-that part sucked ass for me in early sobriety.

DAILY REPRIEVE I learned to go where the love is. And there can be a lot of love in the fellowship of recovery, if you open yourself up to it. I remember the people who gave me their phone numbers that I never bothered to call. I remember the support, the service, and the clapping at my 30 days, 60, 90, and the cheers I got when I accomplished one year sober. There are people who I barely know that I truly love, because helping another alcoholic achieve sobriety has been their primary purpose. I wouldn’t be where I am today, if others had not done it before me, and I’m constantly reminded to give away what has been given to me so freely throughout my sober journey.

With that said, I try not to put too much stock on sober time, because time is just time—all we have is today, and I have to remember that time is not a tool for maintaining sobriety. I also have to recognize that we can accrue time and still be bat shit crazy.

We have a daily reprieve where we get temporary relief from the disease of alcoholism, but that’s based on our spiritual condition.

You see, I didn’t have a drinking and drug problem—I had a drinking and drug solution to a problem.

In recovery we only postpone the consequences of our drugging and drinking, because once an alcoholic/addict, always an alcoholic/ addict. We can stop drinking, but we can still suffer from assholism— regardless of how many decades we lay off of boozing and using.

REMAIN VIGILANT That’s not to say that having eight years of continuous clean and sober time isn’t meaningful to me. The more distance I put between me and that last bump of crystal meth, the better my life has been -but by the same token, I remain vigilant. I have a healthy fear and a deep respect for the disease of addiction. It is hell bent on taking my ass out, if I’m not careful. Numerous people with way more time than me have relapsed. Some keep coming back, others do not, and I know a lot of men who have died from this shit. It is no joke.

Of all my past incarnations, I truly love where I am today.

Goodbye Tragica. So long Regretta. Today I am a sober man; on purpose; with purpose. A lot has happened in the past eight years.

There’s always room for growth and it hasn’t always been easy breezy, but right now I’m so damn grateful for the life I live completely clean and sober.

YOU ARE BRAVER, BOLDER & STRONGER than your substance abuse or mental health issues.

let’s face them together.

contact Michael’s House today to find out more about our compassionate, evidence-based treatment.

MichaelsHouse.com 866.494.7787

For more Paulo Murillo commentary, visit thehissfit.com.

JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 39

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

THESHARE >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

Into Action

With New Year’s resolutions in mind, we asked a few local sober folks with different lengths of sobriety, what the words “into action” mean to them and how they apply it to their sobriety.

THOMAS HARRIS

STAY CLOSE “Praying comes to mind—and staying connected to some kind of spirituality. I may not be the most spiritual person, but I try to touch base with God every day. Also—being of service is huge for me. Working with others has really kept me sober this whole time. I volunteer at the Van Ness House to stay close to my recovery. That has been a huge benefit.”

—Thomas Harris, sober since October, 2012.

and activating it. It’s really that simple. It’s kind of built into my sobriety. In order for me to stay sober, I need to apply into action, otherwise, I’m just a person living in my head and that’s what I did when I wasn’t sober. I was in my head and nothing got done.

I kind of gave up doing New Year’s resolutions when I got sober because I feel like if I’m into action, I’m kind of doing what I set out to do and it’s no different than any other day.”

—Tom Pardoe, sober since April, 1993.

TO DECIPHER

MY FAMILY

THAT SIMPLE “Into action is about taking whatever is floating in my head

MICHAEL KELLY

CHRISTINA SIMOS

JAMES PANTOJA

TOM PARDOE

show up sober and I work on reconnecting with my family.”

—James Pantoja, sober since September, 2014

“Now that I’m sober, I find that I’m actively reconnecting to my higher power and being helpful to my family. I volunteered to help with the cooking this past holiday, instead of sitting around and watching TV. I never did that before. Into action means I no longer isolate.

I had a lot of shame when I did drugs, so I didn’t want to be around people... today I get to

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“Into action for me is about doing the work. It’s a constant self-reflection, being of service to others and trying to get spiritually connected. My spiritual connection has been inconsistent. I have a difficult time believing that there’s just one person in the sky. I’ve had to undo a lot of that teaching.

The spiritual journey for me has been just to feel the energy that comes from being in tune with my higher power, the universe, whatever you want to call it.

Part of spirituality is being able to decipher what’s good and what’s not good. I need to keep moving forward and the only way to do that is by helping others. Into action is about walking through the fear and not allowing it to dictate how I live.”

—Christina Simos, sober since June, 2005.

WORK SMARTER “I need to know why I’m doing what I’m doing before I take action. Into action is about not making excuses and getting things done, but also not punishing myself, or putting myself down and thinking that everything has to be done now. Accepting and surrendering to situations is important.

Into action is a process for me--first things first. Exactly what drives the action? I find myself being really busy and not getting anything done. I try to work smarter. There’s also a question of what action is going to make me happy. Is it having a great body, having more friends, or working a great sober program? All that carries its own baggage.”

—Michael Kelly, sober since August, 2014.

Creative solutions for your individual and business marketing needs.

web | digital | print | soCial media | video | photography

contact ntoriodesign@yahoo.com www.ntoriodesign.com

JUNE 2014 | T H E F I GH T 43

THEEVENT >> PHOTOS BY AUTUMN ENDARA <<

WEHO’s Sober New Year’s Eve Party

S

econd annual #BOOM—An Alcohol and Drug Free New Year’s Eve Experience returned to the City of West Hollywood—bigger and better with double the attendance from last year. This year’s theme—“A MidWinter’s Night Fantasy”—held at the West Hollywood Park Auditorium—was full of fantasy with live entertainment, including DJ Walter Delmar, the MISS #BOOM! 2015 Pageant, free t-shirts, a dessert bar, a photo booth and interactive activities. Sponsors included The City of West Hollywood, the Los Angeles LGBT Center, the Institute for Public Strategies, the Tweakers Project and many community volunteers. (Paulo Murillo)

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>> MASCULINITY AND BROTHERHOOD <<

MEN ON MOTORCYCLES The Satyrs Motorcycle Club of Los Angeles: bikes, masculinity and brotherhood.

BY MARK ARI EL

C

urrently celebrating their 60th anniversary, The Satyrs Motorcycle Club of Los Angeles is the oldest continuously running gay organization in the world. Formed in 1954 during the height of the McCarthy era, seven men came together, bonded by the love of motorcycles to form a club.

“The Satyrs were just a bunch of young former military men landing in Southern California with a bond for riding motorcycles and bonding with fellow masculine men,” reveals the club member Garry Bowie in an interview with THE FIGHT. “Today, the club exists as an ‘unincorporated association’ in legal terms, but the core values are the same as its founding, men

bonding in motorcycles and enduring friendships of masculine men,” says Bowie.

The Satyrs are looking for men to join their family, reveals Bowie. “Besides motorcycles, the bond is achieved through participation in our events, observation of interaction with other members, willingness to work hard to achieve the many goals and events the members put on at a high standard and to remain active and engaged. No member can ‘sit one out.’ There are no ‘sideliners,’ you are either all in or out. Those are the standards.”

To learn more about The Satyrs and their events visit: www.satyrsmc.org.

JANUAR Y 2015 | THE F I GH T 45

THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO << B BAR AT EAGLE LA. SEE THURSDAY, JANUARY 22

lado@lalgbtcenter.org for more information, or call 323-993-7635.

Experience the LA LGBT Center in 60 minutes. Learn everything the Center has to offer with a tour to see how they open their doors of hope for our community.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 17

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7

OUTFEST WEST HOLLYWOOD SERIES: “LOOKING” Council Chambers, 625 N. San Vicente Blvd, 7:30pm. For more information, and to RSVP, visit outfest.org/weho-series.

The first two episodes of season two of HBO’s “Looking.” Admission is free.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 9

TOPMEN Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, 9pm. Visit gofundme.com/bensontrailer for more information.

Fundraiser to film the trailer of the upcoming film, “MR. BENSON: The Movie.” Based off a story featured in DRUMMER Magazine, the film is about BDSM leather culture in the 70s. Hosted

by Dan Lovell.

VISIONQUEST: MR. SOCAL LEATHER 2015 CONTEST Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd (at Myra Ave.) 9pm-12am.

Even though the contest is still a few weeks away, the search begins for men interested in competing for the title and become the next Mr. SoCal Leather.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 18

WEST HOLLYWOOD MLK JR. DAY OF SERVICE West Hollywood Elementary, 970 Hammond St., 9am - 3pm. To sign up call (323) 848-6885.

Join the City of West Hollywood in beautifying West Hollywood Elementary School for the 2015 West Hollywood MLK Jr. Day of Service.

Volunteers are needed.

EAGLE LA MR. LEATHER 2015 Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, LA, starting at 7pm.

Contact Charlie at Charlie@EagleLA.com if you’re interested in competing. Save the date and join the fun.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 10

THURSDAY, JANUARY 22

LGBT FAMILY ICE SKATING Woodland Hills Ice, 6100 Topanga Canyon Blvd.

For more contact Mandy Litwin at familyservices@lalgbtcenter.org, or call 323-860-3661.

11am to 12:30pm.

Bundle up and get cozy for some ice skating fun with other LGBT families.

B BAR Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd. 9pm - 2am.

Visit thefightmag.com for more information.

THE FIGHT Magazine invites all bears, cubs, otters and fans of all scruffy, furry creatures to gather at B Bar, at the The Eagle LA, for some big hairy fun with hot tunes by DJ Ryan Jones.

Enjoy 10 handle draft beer bust, and a chance to win free International Bear Convergence (IBC) tickets!!!

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11

NO PANTS METRO RIDE 2015 Los Angeles Hollywood Metro, Los Angeles. For more information, visit facebook.com/ events/621608774635031.

Official Debriefing and After Party is back.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 13

15TH ANNUAL CYBERSOCKET AWARDS Penthouse Nightclub, 661 N. Robertson Blvd, West Hollywood, 8:30pm-2:00am. Visit cybersocket.com for more info.

Red Carpet Interviews with Sister Roma and pre party with DJ Chi Chi LaRue start at 8:30pm.

Awards Presentation from 10:30-Midnight. After Party at Midnight, till 2am w/ DJ Brandon Wilde.

Go-go dancers provided by Ducati Models.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 15

MISS DAKOTA’S GYPSY ROSE BURLESQUE Harvelle’s Blues Club, 1432 4th St., Santa Monica10pm. For more information, visit, dollhouseent.com/miss-dakotas-gypsy-rose.

Enjoy a full dance production that infuses Classic Burlesque with Latin, Ballet, Cabaret, and Aerial influences.

GET CENTERED! TOUR McDonald/Wright Building, 1625 Schrader Blvd, 12pm - 1pm. Contact Jorge Mellado at jmel-

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TRIBE—WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY MEN’S DISCUSSION GROUP West Hollywood Library, Community Meeting Room, 625 N. San Vicente Blvd. 7:30pm - 9pm.

For more information, visit www.weho.org/tribe.

TRIBE meets the third Thursday of every month for a series of discussions on issues of importance to the gay male community. Admission is free.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 24

DENLA PRESENTS: JUST SEX Threshold, 11300 Hartland St, N. Hollywood, 9pm-2am. For tickets visit, eventbrite.com/e/ denla-presents-just-sex-tickets-14579500679.

This is Euro-Style Dance and Play Party For Men Who Love Men. Open bar. Hot GoGo Boys.

Large Dance area with play spaces throughout!

Dress Code: Gear, Leather, Underwear, Jocks, Sports Kit, or just a smile. No street clothes.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 31

MR. PISTONS LEATHER 2015 CONTEST Pistons Bar - 2020 E Artesia Blvd, Long Beach, 8pm to 2am. Visit pistonsbar.com for more info.

This year marks Pistons’ 50th year of continuous operation as a leather bar in Southern California. It also marks the 20th year of the Mr. Pistons Leather title.

GROUPS

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org HIV MEDICAL & CASE MANAGEMENT Valley Community Clinic in North Hollywood offers HIV Testing and Medical Services including counseling and medical treatment. For more info: www.valleycommunityclinic.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary.

Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340.

GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles.

For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality.

MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends.

LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m.

USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO editor@thefightmag.com POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org.

TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences.

GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd.

Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300.

SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles.

For more information, call (323) 860-5806.

MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 201-1561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out.

TRAVEL

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.

CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m.

DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.

MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m.

Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.

SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m.

Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.

Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m.

Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m.

Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m.

WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m.

SPORTS

LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

FRIENDS TRAVEL www.FriendsTravel.com Gay Owned & Operated, Since 1985.

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

12 STEP GROUPS

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www.greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org LA ROWING www.larowing.org DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org WORSHIP

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042 HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038 WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit

www.thefightmag.com

JANUAR Y 2015 | TH E F I GH T 45

THEFINALFIGHT >> VICTIMS <<

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT

Whatever the future holds for Brendan Jordan, 2014 was a fierce year for this unapologetic little diva.

BY PAULO MURILLO

B

rendan Jordan is that 15-year old diva kid from Las Vegas who shot out of a bedazzled rock and into viral super-duper stardom after he photo bombed a newscaster at a mall.

He stood out of a crowd of screaming little girls with impromptu dance moves and various poses that reminded me of Madonna's Vogue video, but it turns out he was actually channeling Lady Gaga's "Applause" video (moving along).

A lot has happened since he first introduced us to his stank face last October. The video has had well over 3 million views, he's nearing 300,000 followers on Instagram, he was a guest on the Queen Latifah Show, and he must've peed in his fishnet stockings when the one and only Mother Monster sent him a shout out via Twitter, which catapulted his Twitter followers to 40K. Jordan ended 2014 with an American Apparel ad campaign after he expressed his undying love for the brand in his youtube video - he uses his video blogs as a platform to raise awareness for LGBT issues and empower LGBT youth not to smoke, not to do drugs, and to love themselves. He uses the word "like," like a lot in his videos. He talks about fashion, reads fan mail and he really is a ton of queeny fun.

The American Apparel ads feature Jordan looking pretty in pink, wearing tights and there's even a cute shot of him in a see-through skirt, because he's not one to conform to boy's clothes. Again, his poses in the photos smack of Madonna circa 1980s, but in all

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fairness, the kid hadn't been born yet, so Lady Gaga can have this one.

They don't make 15-year olds like they used to when I was growing up. Jordan looks prepubescent. I thought he was 12. Most would peg this androgynous ginger kid at a disadvantage from a superficial viewpoint, with his big metal braces, fiery freckles, and hints of baby fat, yet he appears to be so comfortable in his own skin, he channels so much positive energy, inner fierceness, and has such a sense of humor about himself, that you can't help but fall in love with him and root for him, despite his devotion for Gaga (kidding).

He's honestly the kind of kid I would have naturally gravitated towards when I was little, but I was never allowed playing with, because his gayness was so obvious and my gayness was always under suspicion.

Jordan joins the ranks of modern day gaylebrities who are famous for being famous.

What makes his story inspiring to me is the cast of characters in the background who support him for being his big gay fabulous self. Jordan is half Peruvian (I'm not sure what makes up his other half) and according to his video blog, his parents have been very supportive of his gayness.

They took him out for sushi and encouraged him to come out of the closet. His father said he was excited for him after Jordan revealed he had feelings for other boys. Dad

being Hispanic and pro-gay is a welcoming shift in the winds between fathers and gay sons.

I wonder if that video would have ever happened if Jordan had to hide being gay from his folks. Of course, be yourself, doesn't mean be like Lady Gaga, but what would our childhoods look like if we have been encouraged to be our true authentic selves?

Like Jordan, I was in the nightly news once. My mother caught a glimpse of me standing in line outside the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood to watch Madonna star as Evita back in 1995. Mom was not amused, and I was just standing there with a bunch of men who may or may not have been gay.

She would have stuffed me in a bag and thrown me into the LA River had I started voguing and throwing stank faces at the camera, but those were different times and she's become more accepting in these modern days.

I wonder what gay kids think of Jordan. I wonder if they see him as a beacon of hope, or if they recoil with embarrassment. Does he give gay youth a false sense of security? Are gay kids today really this open about their gayness, or is Jordan a special case? Jordan speaks of how he like, likes boys, but I wonder what his life will look like after he truly discovers his homosexuality in all its homo sex glory? Pink see-through skirts are cute and all--they make a cool fuck-you statement, but I'm forced to wonder, do they get you laid?

Whatever the future holds for Brendan Jordan, 2014 was a fierce year for this unapologetic little diva. His massive popularity tells me that we can relax a little. I think the kids are going to be okay. n

FOUR DAYS OF POOL PARTIES, DANCE EVENTS AND WOOFY MEN!

Hosted at the Renaissance Palm Springs Hotel

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Weekend Passes & Hotel Reservations at www.ibc-ps.com

~Benefiting AIDS Assistance Program~

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