THE FIGHT SOCAL'S LGBTQ MONTHLY MAGAZINE JULY 2016 by The Fight Magazine

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THECONTENTS

On The Cover AARON VALENZUELA COVER PHOTO, TOC PHOTO AND FEATURE PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM JEWELRY BY AARON VALENZUELA LEATHER MITTS COURTESY OF LAG VINTAGE

Features 15 HEALTH ALERT

MENINGITIS OUTBREAK IN LA, OC 18 AFTER ORLANDO THE AFTERMATH, MOVING FORWARD 20 HEARTLESS GOP POLITICIANS’ HYPOCRISY 22 RIP JORGE ILICH ANDREW CHRISTIAN MODEL’S APPARENT SUICIDE 24 LIVING CREATIVELY ARTIST, ACTOR, DESIGNER AARON VALENZUELA 30 MINGLE AWAY JUDGE’S SAME-SEX CHRISTIANMINGLE RULING 32 A FEW GOOD MEN DISCHARGED GAY SAILORS, MARINES URGED TO APPEAL 40 SWEETIE, DARLING! THEY’RE BACK! “ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS: THE MOVIE” 42 QUEER FILM 2016 OUTFEST LOS ANGELES LGBT FILM FESTIVAL 44 ME TARZAN ALEXANDER SKARSGARD ON GAY ROLE MODELS

Departments 10 THE LETTERS READERS RESPOND

12 THE TALK JANE LYNCH 14 THE CITY RAINBOW AWARDS 16 THE ROSTOW REPORT THE POST-SCALIA COURT

26 THE SPREAD VICTOR MORRIS 28 THE TRANSACTION STRENGTH IN NUMBERS

44 THE SHARE LOCAL SOBRIETY 36 THE JOYSTICK WORLD 8 38 THE EPIDEMIC MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGHS

46 THE EVENT BULLET BAR 48 THE CALENDAR EVENTS 50 THE FINAL FIGHT GAY 4 TTH HEE FFIIGH GHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com 4

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THEEDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Tom Pardoe Rina Zaide Joe Faragher SOCIAL MEDIA Paulo Murillo Sinan Shihabi WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Sinan Shihabi

>> IN THIS ISSUE <<

“In the aftermath of the Pulse shootings,” writes Brenden Shucart in this issue (“After Orlando,” pages 18-19), “there have been many hopeful signs: reports of lines at blood banks winding around blocks, President Obama’s naming of the area around the Stonewall Inn as a historical landmark, famous rich guy Mark Cuban’s donation of $1 million to the Dallas police to support increased security for local gay bars. And that’s all really great, I feel the love and it is appreciated.” “But for my part,” writes Shucart, “the good I want to see out of this tragedy is for the LGBTQ communities to rally around each other.” “We queers have had it relatively good for what seems like a very long time,” states Shucart. “It’s been years since I’ve been afraid to hold hands with another man in public,

or be honest with a stranger about who I am and the work that I do, even in the heart of the South. But I know that sense of safety has not been extended to every member of our tribe. If you are white and cisgendered, and living in a big city or on the coasts, it has become easy to forget how hated we clearly still are, and the madness that infects the world. For our trans, black and brown-bodied siblings that fear is lived with every day.” “At the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Omar Mateen unleashed his madness on us. He wanted to remind us of that fear. He tried to put us back in our box. I’ve become accustomed to not living in fear, I’ve grown comfortable in my honesty, and that box will no longer contain me. I’m not going back. WE are not going back, but we need to stand together.”

GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com

THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine.

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2016 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

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THECONTRIBUTORS >> WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS <<

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. DUSTI CUNNINGHAM Los Angeles based photographer Dusti Cunningham grew up in a very clean single-wide trailer home in rural Kansas. His family didn’t own television so they watched tornadoes. None of his dogs were named Toto. Dolly

Murillo

Rostow

Shucart

Arellano

Lyonne

Parton and his mother were his heroes, both wore wigs. His inspirations are gypsies, pirates, circuses, 1970s glamour, and the National Enquirer. www.dusticunningham.com. JOSEPH ARELLANO A stage and film actor from Bedford, Indiana, Joe has

Cunningham

been involved in community events such as The Friendly House Luncheon, PATH, and LA PRIDE. Joe has appeared in Titus Andronicus, Dark Side of the Moon, and Take Me Out. He also co-starred in the music video Hopeful Romantic, Hallmarks’ Holly’s Holiday, and other various short films.

BRENDEN SHUCART Brenden Shucart is an HIV AIDS-LGBT rights advocate, actor, and writer whose work has been featured in Out There,The Advocate and HIV Plus magazine among others. His essays around HIV-related health issues and stigma have been described as “humanizing and heartbreaking” and “beautiful, honest, and important.” As an actor Shucart has appeared in the short film “Bug Chaser,” James Franco and Travis Mathews’ “Interior. Leather Bar.,” and Mathews’ 2010 short film “I Want Your Love.” ORLY LYONNE Orly Lyonne is a freelance journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art. Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@gmail.com.

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THELETTERS >> FROM OUR READERS <<

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Dear Editor, So Ann Rostow doesn’t like Bernie Sanders, stating that his ”cranky arrogance verging on narcissism” gets on her nerves (”The Rostow Report,” THE FIGHT, Issue #65). I never got that from Bernie. All I see is a man with principles, dedicated to the causes that he believes in passionately. If anything— Ann Rostow’s cranky arrogance verging on narcissism gets on my nerves. —Mike Costa, via the internet

HIS ASSERTION Dear Editor, Brenden Shucart’s piece on STDs was informative and for the most part - amusing (“How To Feel About Your STD,” THE FIGHT, Issue #65). However his assertion that if he had the power to go back in time and somehow undo his seroconversion—he wouldn’t—seems a bit disingenuous, to say the least. I understand that his HIV status caused him to reevaluate his life—and that perhaps he feels that he is in a better place because of that. But I would imagine that there are possibly other life experiences one could go through and eventually become more self aware—without having to deal with a serious chronic disease for the rest of one’s life. —David R. Kaplan, via the internet

MORE PHOTOS Dear Editor, Just quick email to let you know that I really enjoyed your Pride issue—specifically the “Pride In Wonderland” interviews (THE FIGHT, Issue #65). They all were fun to read—but I especially enjoyed that amazing performer Manila Luzon (Karl Westerberg). He is a fabulous drag queen—and a handsome man, as well! And he is very funny! It would be great if you could do a more in-depth interview with him in the future— with more photos. Thank you. —Samuel Nassim, via the internet

> WRITE TO THE EDITOR

Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements.

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THETALK >> W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G <<

I CAN’T TELL YOU “I can’t tell you how many bars and clubs I’ve been to over the years… Every gay man in America remembers the first time they went to a gay bar and how they felt.” —CNN newsman Anderson Cooper on the significance of gay bars in LGBTQ culture, to The New BILLY CRYSTAL York Times, last month.

ANDERSON COOPER

“After I finally built up the liquid courage to do it [walk into my first gay bar], I never turned back. The eclectic music, the light show, the cute guys milling about, the club kids dancing on speakers: It was gay heaven! I didn’t have to pretend anymore. I was finally at home.”

DON LEMON

—CNN anchor Don Lemon to The New York Times, last month.

EVERYONE INSIDE

IN FACT REVELED

“Pre-internet, gay bars were integral in our social development. They were an escape from the (often unfriendly) outside world, packed every night of the week, and everyone inside was a friend.” —Television host and producer Andy Cohen to The New York Times, last month.

ANDY COHEN

THE DOOR LADY

JANE LYNCH

FINALLY AT HOME

“When I finally tried to walk in [to my first gay bar, at the age of 23], the door lady stopped me and asked: ‘Do you know where you are? This is a lesbian bar.’ ‘Yeah, I know,’ I said nonchalantly, as if I’d been walking into dyke bars since the beginning of time.” —Actress Jane Lynch to The New York Times, last month.

BE PART OF “The first time I went to a gay bar was in 1990, thanks to a fairly terrible fake ID that I bought for $25. I was 17 years old… That fake ID was my lifeline for years because it got me into the only places where I could find the gay community that I so wanted to be part of.”

“… In July 1991, at a sprawling complex called Tracks in the District of Columbia, I found thousands of young black gay men and lesbians… Here, unlike the white gay clubs, the patrons appreciated, and in fact reveled in, black beauty. For the first time in my life, I felt not only desirous of others but desirable to them as well.” —Broadcaster and author Keith Boykin to The New York Times, last month.

SHE’S TALKING TO ME

“[When I walked into my first gay bar] it was completely empty except for these six huge dykes playing poker. And one of them looked up at me and yelled, ‘Hey, baby butch!’ I’ll never forget it. I did one of those lookaround takes, like, ‘Oh, she’s talking to me.’” —Actress Lea DeLaria to The New York Times, last month.

—MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow to The New York Times, last month. RACHEL MADDOW 1 12 2 TTH HEE FFIIGH GHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com

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JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 13

THECITY >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

NEON TREES

JORGE USATORRES

PHOTO BY PAULO MURILLO

FORMER FAULTLINE OWNER HONORED

ORLANDO CANDLELIGHT VIGIL IN L.A.

Over 2,000 gathered for a candlelight vigil last month at the footsteps of the Los Angeles City Hall to protest and mourn the 49 people that were killed in the Orlando mass shooting. Lorri L. Jean, the CEO of L.A. LGBT Center spoke out against anti LGBT bigotry being taught by fundamentalist Christian leadership in this country. Singer Lady Gaga made a surprise appearance, speaking about solidarity with Orlando victims and pledged an allegiance of love for their families.

YOUTUBER CHARGED WITH FILING FALSE POLICE REPORT Gay YouTube personality Calum McSwiggan made headlines last month after he posted a selfie on his Instagram account that showed him in the hospital with a bandage on his head and a caption that claimed he had been brutally beaten outside of a bar in West Hollywood and then mistreated by WeHo police. However, West Hollywood Sheriff Deputies reported that they saw no evidence that he had been attacked and say they were forced to place McSwiggan under arrest after they witnessed him vandalizing a car. Capt. Holly Perez told WEHOville that McSwiggan was observed injuring himself with the handle and receiver to a payphone inside the detention hall. McSwiggan was charged filing a false police report a few days later. He also faces charges filed by West Hollywood Sheriff’s deputies for vandalizing a car.

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City of Los Angeles Councilmember Mitch O’Farrell presented Jorge Usatorres, the financial executive responsible for rebranding and reviving the Faultline bar, with a City of Los Angeles Certificate of Commendation after Usatorres set up two scholarship awards for LGBTQI students at Los Angeles City College as a parting show of appreciation shortly after he sold the bar in May, which he purchased in 2014. “I’m deeply humbled by this recognition…” Usatorres posted on his Facebook page. To apply for a scholarship, visit: laccfoundation.org/students/apply-for-scholarships.

RAINBOW KEY AWARDS CEREMONY IN WEHO The City of West Hollywood hosted the Rainbow Key Awards last month. This year’s Rainbow Key Awards honorees are: Jay M. MARK Kohorn, civil rights attorney; Mark LEHMAN Lehman, board chair of the National AIDS Monument Foundation; Carol Taylor-DiPietro, one of the creators of the first Gay Nights at Disneyland; Ruth Williams, former Director of Advocacy for the National Council of Jewish Women Los Angeles and longtime community volunteer; and West Hollywood Community Housing Corporation, which has provided key assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS.

POST THREATENS LGBT COMMUNITY IN SAN DIEGO A Craigslist post is under investigation after San Diego Police were alerted of a possible threat of violence MAYOR FAULCONER towards the LGBT community similar to what happened at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando Florida. Authorities were alerted to a post that showed a handgun being fired in a men-seeking-men ad on Craigslist. The posting title read “We need more Orlandos” with a message that read, “Orlando was long overdue. Cleanse your community of the filth that gives decent gay men and women a bad name. Those people were walking diseases, bug chasers, and thank god for AIDS and 9-11 and now Orlando. San Diego you are next...” San Deigo Mayor Faulconer and Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman said that they have stepped-up security in San Diego, but there have been no specific threats to the city.

>> MENINGITIS <<

CAUSES, SYMPTOMS At least six cases were caused by a particular strain of meningococcal bacteria. It can spread by close exposure such as sneezing or coughing, or direct contact with saliva or nose mucus.

NINE MEN HAVE FALLEN ILL, ONE MAN HAS DIED FROM THE INFECTION. Having close contact with an infected person such as kissing or sharing beverages or cigarettes and living in group settings for prolonged periods are associated with an increased risk of illness. Symptoms include fever, vomiting, severe headache, stiff neck, confusion, a rash and muscle pains a few days after exposure.

FREE VACCINES

HEALTH ALERT Health Department warns of meningitis outbreak in Los Angeles and Orange County.

BY PA U LO MU RILLO

he California Department of Public Health reports that nine men have fallen ill to meningococcal infections in the Los Angeles and Orange County areas since last May. Most of them are gay or bisexual and one man has died from the infection. Public Health officer Dr. Karen Smith urged men who have sex with men to get the meningitis vaccination. Individuals infected with HIV are at higher risk of getting sick from meningococcal disease and are encouraged to routinely receive the vaccination. “We are concerned that gay and bisexual men in Southern California may be at increased risk for meningococcal disease,” Smith said in a statement. According to the health department, the infection is caused by the bacteria Neisseria meningitides, which affect the bloodstream and can lead to meningitis.

Those at high risk of infection can get a state-funded no-cost meningococcal vaccine at The Los Angeles LGBT Center starting July 5 at its McDonald/Wright Building at 1625 N. Schrader Blvd., in Los Angeles. The MinuteClinic at CVS pharmacy, located at 8491 Santa Monica Blvd., in West Hollywood also offers meningococcal vaccine for a fee, but health insurance coverage are accepted. For more information, call (866) 389-2727. The Men’s Health Foundation and the Southern California Men’s Medical Group will offer the meningococcal vaccine to patients with or without insurance. They are located at 9201 Sunset Blvd., Suite 812, Los Angeles. Call (310) 550-1010 or email tmills@ tonymillsmd.com for more information. The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) is offering the vaccine for free at its afterhours clinics, which are held at its regular treatment centers. AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) is offering the vaccine for free at its health centers in Long Beach and Baldwin Hills. Desert AIDS Project in Palm Springs at 1695 N. Sunrise Way is also offering free meningitis vaccines, The L.A. County Department of Public Health also offers free meningococcal vaccine to L.A. County residents without health insurance. For a listing of clinics, call the L.A. County Information Line at 2-1-1 from any cell phone or landline in Los Angeles County. JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 15

THEROSTOWREPORT >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

THE MIASMIC ATMOSPHERE

The Eiffel tower lit up in colors of the rainbow flag in solidarity with the LGBT community after the Orlando terror attack.

ince last we met, dear readers of THE FIGHT, four dozen of our brothers and sisters have been mowed down in a Florida nightclub, Hillary Clinton has consolidated her position as the Democratic nominee, and Britain has abandoned the European Union. And here I am, about to launch into a discussion of federal court cases, or maybe take note of the fact that the Stonewall Inn has been declared a national landmark. I’m also wondering why talcum powder suddenly causes cancer, and whether or not the word “moist” deserves its position as “most disgusting word in the English language.” How do you rank vocabulary on emotional criteria in the first place? Yet none of these concerns seems appropriate given the miasmic atmosphere that suffused the month of June. Orlando; a sick mix of unchecked violence, pathological homophobia and twisted faith. The election; a worrisome test of our nation’s basic decency. Brexit; after half a century, perhaps the end of our dream of a united Europe. But duty and deadlines summon us nonetheless. And in these pages, our focus on GLBT news transcends all.

THE HORROR

lready Orlando is fading, decomposing into a pastiche of American corpses gunned down by enraged nihilistic men with military style weapons. I wrote about it earlier for the San Francisco Bay Times, siding with those who see no point in examining the motive for this—or any other—of our national massacres. The racist

THE COUNTRY AND THE WORLD MOURNED OUR LOSS WITH FLAGS AT HALF STAFF AND RAINBOW COLORS IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE. WHEN 32 GAY MEN AND WOMEN DIED IN THE 1973 NEW ORLEANS ARSON ATTACK, THE MEDIA TOOK LITTLE NOTICE. DECADES LATER COMES A TRAGEDY TO ILLUSTRATE THAT WE ARE NO LONGER OUTCASTS; WE TOO ARE GRIEVED. I SUPPOSE THAT’S SOMETHING. in Charleston, the misogynist in Santa Barbara, the lunatic in Newtown, the maniac in Aurora. The mass shooters

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all have their rationales, and the Orlando killer had gay hatred high on his list. But their explanations do not deserve

our scrutiny anymore than crazy voices in people’s heads deserve a thoughtful hearing. Attacks inspired by ISIS give us pause. But while the Orlando killer used ISIS as a hook to hang his hat, his background revealed a undifferentiated attraction to violent groups, including some of ISIS’s main enemies. This was no terrorist. This was yet another madman with a long gun bent on mayhem. That said, the man attacked us, the GLBT community. Every one of us has spent many a summer night at a bar like Pulse. We could all imagine the scene in perfect detail. We could all see ourselves there, bleeding out on the dance floor, hiding in the bathroom, desperately trying to text our friends, our parents, our kids. If Orlando happened in our town, we would all know someone who died. If not, we would see the photos after the dust had settled and find the faces of some people we never met but saw a dozen times or more. And unlike the reaction to the fire at the UpStairs Lounge some 40 years ago, this time the country and the world mourned our loss with flags at half staff and rainbow colors in the public square. When 32 gay men and women died in that 1973 New Orleans arson attack, the media took little notice. Decades later comes a tragedy to illustrate that we are no longer outcasts; we too are grieved. I suppose that’s something.

THE POST-SCALIA COURT

could not help but notice that the Supreme Court has refused to review a case that asks whether or not the state

> > T H E M I A S M I C AT M O S P H E R E , T H E H O R R O R , P O S T- S C A L I A , T R A N S M E N < <

of Washington has the right to insist that all pharmacies sell the morning-after pill regardless of religious objections, leaving the state law in place. Obviously, the central issue here is identical to that of a bakery that seeks to reject gay wedding cakes despite state anti-discrimination law. And yes, some of those cases are, or will be, seeking High Court review so it’s encouraging to have the majority give us an implicit thumbs up. Note that Washington maintained that an individual druggist could decline to fill the morning-after prescription as long as the store itself provided the service through another clerk. As you probably know, it takes just four justices to agree to hear a case. This time, all three conservatives hankered to take the case. Writing for himself and his two cohorts on

the right, Justice Alito said the denial of review was ominous. “If this is a sign of how religious liberty claims will be treated in the years ahead, those who value religious freedom have cause for great concern,” he wrote. Oh, and I think we all know what the Court would have done with this case had Scalia been seated. The Washington case seems more complicated than most of our bakery wars, involving various rules about when pharmacies can refer customers to nearby alternatives rather than be obliged to stock every drug under the sun. Despite those regulations, the state had no tolerance for stores that sought to refer people elsewhere based on religious or moral grounds. As a result, all pharmacies had to keep supplies of Plan B on the shelves. Was this an

unfair twist in state law at the expense of religious actors? Well, I guess we’ll never know because the Court washed its hands of the whole thing and let the law stand. Yay! Take that Hobby Lobby. Bam.

A FEW GOOD TRANSMEN

s you read this issue, the military’s ban on transgender troops has come to an end, effective July 1. I’ve never been keen on joining the military myself, but we all applaud when discriminatory barriers fall. Ooo rah. Also, the Pope said something nice about us again. Something about how Catholics owe the GLBT community an apology, right? Thanks Pontiff. And North Carolina lawmakers are busy as bees trying to make micro tweaks in the state’s

anti-trans law which as far as I can see will have virtually zero impact on the statute. Lawsuits are piling up against the fraught policies of North Carolina and Mississippi, and the powers that be in Virginia have announced plans to appeal the pro-trans ruling out of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit. That decision, announced in March, gave a high school transboy the right to use his school’s locker room and bathroom facilities. After the Fourth Circuit refused to reconsider their ruling, the Virginia school district now says it will ask the Supreme Court to review the case. Oh, there’s more. There’s more legal news, but there always is don’t you think? And yet, we don’t always have the inclination or the space to soldier on. Next time. n

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>> VIOLENCE AGAINST LGBTQ PEOPLE <<

AFTER ORLANDO

If you are white and cisgendered, and living in a big city or on the coasts, it has become easy to forget how hated we clearly still are, and the madness that infects the world. BY BRENDEN SHUCART

he evening of the deadliest incident of violence against LGBTQ people in U.S. history took place I was staying at my mom’s place in Palm Desert—a little slice of suburb tucked halfway between Palm Springs and Indio in the Coachella Valley. When I woke up the morning after the massacre my mom called me into the living room. She took me by the hand and told me that there had been a shooting at an Orlando gay club. People had been killed. I’m ashamed to say my initial reaction was a vague shrug; people get shot every day after all, this is America. I had thought maybe a couple of queens had gotten into an altercation and felt the need to express the size of their dicks with lead and violence, or maybe... it doesn’t matter what I thought it might be.

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The reality—that a broken young man named Omar Mateen walked into a club where he was possibly a regular and in the course of a few short hours brought anguish and terror into the lives of more than 100 queers—was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. Nothing in my life up till now has remotely prepared me for Orlando. I spent a majority of the next eight hours watching cable news, shaking and chain smoking with a wet face and aching heart. I watched as images of young queers carrying their wounded friends flashed across my parent’s big screen TV. I pictured my friends in their places, and texted every faggot I love, just to let them know that I love them. To try and feel a little bit less alone. I honestly held it together pretty well until one of the first responders came on

and spoke of the hellish cacophony that’s born from more than fifty cellphones ringing out in room full of dead bodies; mothers and fathers and lovers and friends trying desperately to reach the most important people in their lives, hungry for answers. I pictured my mom making that same call, not knowing if I was alive or dead—the panicky fear mixed with desperate hope—I broke into inconsolable sobbing.

GUNS Throughout the next few days I obsessively flipped between the three 24 hour news channels—Fox, CNN and MSNBC— desperately searching for new details in the hopes that next one would fill in the puzzle enough that I could understand, that I might be able to make sense of this tragic loss and see the big picture.

>> VIOLENCE AGAINST LGBTQ PEOPLE <<

The coverage on MSNBC and CNN focused primarily on guns, and the pathological ease with which nearly any American can get their hands on assault weapons and hollow-point ammunition designed explicitly for the killing of other humans. And it makes sense, the Pulse Massacre marked both the 15th time the president has been forced to speak after a mass shooting, and the single largest mass shooting committed in American history. The Democrats, to their credit, have seized on this crisis to push for long overdue reform to our national gun laws, they even staged a sit-in on the floor of the House, which was completely ineffectual at passing law, but it at least showed a measure of determination rarely seen in D.C. Unfortunately, their solution to the gun problem is to ban some scary-looking guns which (statistically speaking) represent a tiny fraction of gun deaths in America. They’ve also proposed forbidding the sale of guns to individuals on the No Fly and Terror Watch lists, which makes a kind of sense until you stop to think about how how arbitrary and devoid of due process these lists are. Even sitting congressmen like the late Sen. Ted Kennedy and Rep. John Lewis, the leader of the Democrats sit-in, have been accidentally placed on the No Fly list, and they both had mountains of trouble getting themselves removed. And if you still think it’s a good idea, ask yourself if you want President Trump to decide who can have a gun in this country and who can’t?

ISLAM For the gang at Fox News and their carefully curated talking heads this was first and foremost an act of ISLAMIC TERROR. (All caps, period, full stop.) And this makes a kind of sense, it was an attack carried out by a man who pledged allegiance to the Islamic State and a number of other radical Jihadi organizations, some of which it should be noted are exceedingly hostile to one another, but all of which share an animosity toward the United States and The West. The fact that Pulse was a gay club was mentioned so seldom that many of my parents’ friends had no idea, despite the fact that the Orlando massacre dominated that channels coverage for three days. Republicans were quick to blame Obama, who acknowledged that the Pulse Massacre was an act of hate and an act of terror, but he didn’t say ISLAMIC terror (so of course he’s in league with the enemy.) They ignored their role in watering down

the nation’s gun control laws, and laughed off the notion that they’ve contributed to a cultural climate where killing queers is okay. The way in which they erased us from our own tragedy even as they put it forward as a casus belli to ramp up mass surveillance and bomb even more poor brown people living in the Middle East was stomach-wrenching.

HOMOPHOBIA The narrative out of the Gay Media has largely (and understandably) been a focus on the role that hate and homophobia played in the attack. There have been reports that Omar Mateen was offended by the sight of men kissing, or maybe he was a closeted homosexual, perhaps he was trying to impress his abusive father, there are even reports that he had been exposed to HIV and was seeking to take out his fear and self loathing out on the entire queer community; and really, none of these is mutually exclusive. There are so many contrary stories about Omar Mateen, one wonders if anybody really knew him at all.

“OMAR MATEEN… TRIED TO PUT US BACK IN OUR BOX… THAT BOX WILL NO LONGER CONTAIN ME. I’M NOT GOING BACK. WE ARE NOT GOING BACK, BUT WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER.” This narrative was reinforced by the way Republican politicians almost universally failed to acknowledge that Pulse was a massacre of the LGBTQ communities. And further underscored by those same politicians’ refusal to pass legislation, put forward the week after the shooting, which would have barred federal contractors from getting government work if they discriminate against the LGBT community. And there are two more threads which seem to have been barely acknowledged: Omar Mateen’s mental health and the fact that those he killed were not only queer but also mostly brown-bodied.

The sad truth is that everybody is at least partially right, all of these threads together somehow add up to the truth. None of these narratives—taken separately—can hope to address the enormity of the crisis facing this county or the West as a whole. Regardless of Omar Mateen’s specific motivations, we live in a world where queers are vilified by pastors, pundits, and politicians, where guns are easier to access than healthcare, and where zealots in far away lands are using the internet to preach salvation to disaffected young men willing to wage holy war against The West and our “decadent values” of tolerance and liberalism.

MOVING FORWARD In the immediate aftermath of the Pulse shootings, as my mother and I watched an endless stream of cable news, she looked at me and said, “If any good comes out of this senseless tragedy, let it be that the whole country rallies around the Gay community.” And while clearly the whole country doesn’t have our back, there have been many hopeful signs: reports of lines at blood banks winding around blocks, President Obama’s naming of the area around the Stonewall Inn as a historical landmark. Famous rich guy Mark Cuban’s donation of $1 million to the Dallas police to support increased security for local gay bars. And that’s all really great, I feel the love and it is appreciated. But for my part, the good I want to see out of this tragedy is for the LGBTQ communities to rally around each other. We queers have had it relatively good for what seems like a very long time. It’s been years since I’ve been afraid to hold hands with another man in public, or be honest with a stranger about who I am and the work that I do, even in the heart of the South. But I know that sense of safety has not been extended to every member of our tribe. If you are white and cisgendered, and living in a big city or on the coasts, it has become easy to forget how hated we clearly still are, and the madness that infects the world. For our trans, black and brown-bodied siblings that fear is lived with every day. At the Pulse nightclub Orlando, Omar Mateen unleashed his madness on us. He wanted to remind us of that fear. He tried to put us back in our box. I’ve become accustomed to not living in fear, I’ve grown comfortable in my honesty, and that box will no longer contain me. I’m not going back. WE are not going back, but we need to stand together. JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 19

> > PAT T Y S H E E H A N < <

community. And he went right back to Washington—one of the few times he actually showed up for work—and voted against sensible gun legislation.” “If this doesn’t change your heart? There were people from [Rubio’s] office— it was [a staffer’s] hair stylist who got shot and killed. This was a personal connection people from his office had with these young people. And he still couldn’t find it in his heart to do the right thing.” The commissioner also pointed out that many of these officials failed to acknowledge the sexuality of the victims, dismissing the homophobia that fueled the violence. Doing so, Sheehan says, makes them complicit in the violence against LGBTQ communities:

GOVERNOR RICK SCOTT

MARCO RUBIO

City commissioner Patty Sheehan calls out GOP politicians for their hypocrisy after Orlando tragedy. BY ORLY LYONNE

rlando city commissioner Patty Sheehan spoke to Michelangelo Signorile on SiriusXM Progress about the Orlando shooting last month, criticizing the inaction of GOP politicians like Marco Rubio and Florida governor Rick Scott, reports www.lgbtqnation.com. Sheehan called out the politicians for their hypocrisy in expressing their sympathy for victims of the Pulse shooting and then voting against sensible gun control: “Marco Rubio, the senator from Florida, walked on our ORLANDO CITY blood-stained streets with COMMISSIONER people from the Hispanic PATTY SHEEHAN

2 0 T H E F IIGH GH T | www.thefightmag.com 20 THE

“HOW DARE YOU COME HERE TO MY CITY—OUR CITY—AND STAND IN FRONT OF THE MICROPHONE AND TAKE UP SPACE… YOU LOADED THOSE BULLETS WITH HATRED, AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED.” “My governor couldn’t say the word ‘gay’—until he was called out on it. And I’ve called a lot of them out on it. I said, ‘How dare you come here to my city—our city—and stand in front of the microphone and take up space…You loaded those bullets with hatred, as far as I’m concerned.” The lesbian commissioner was the first openly-gay elected official in Central Florida. Since she was first elected into the council in 2000, she’s passed non-discrimination protections and worked in groups like the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Local Officials and the International Network of Lesbian and Gay Officials.

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-year-old Andrew Christian model and actor Jorge Ilich died last month after jumping from a Miami Beach high rise apartment building, reports towleroad.com. According to NBC, police arrived at the Flamingo Apartments off Bay Road following reports that someone was pushed off a balcony on the 7th floor of the complex. Although some witnesses suggested otherwise, officers eventually determined that the victim was not pushed off by anyone. Illich’s family says he was in good health and thinks there is a possibility he was murdered. “We believe it was murder,” José Gregorio Navas, Illich’s uncle, told the Nuevo Herald. “There are people who say they heard an argument in the apartment where he lived.” Venezuela native Ilich earned a degree in architecture from the University of Santa Maria and started modeling when he was 15. He also appeared in the Venevision soap opera “Heart Esmerelda.” Jorge’s last twitter message from June 10, last month was: “Everything is about love.” n

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LIVING CREATIVELY

Artist, actor, designer, model Aaron Valenzuela on colliding worlds, potential and movement and his “second puberty.”

n an interview with THE FIGHT creative powerhouse Aaron Valenzuela talks about the power in achievement, ideas of potential and using his body as a vessel of expression.

Where did you grow up? I grew up in Mira Loma which is within Riverside County. For a long time, my family’s house was surrounded by fields of corn, alfalfa, dairies, and horse ranches, which I really loved. Now, it isn’t nearly as scenic with all of the new shopping centers, warehouses and homes which have pretty much destroyed the landscape. Recently, the city changed its name Jurupa Valley which just seems like a blatant effort to whitewash its identity in a bid to get more people to move in to all of the new housing they’ve built. It will always be Mira Loma to me. How would you describe your childhood? My childhood was actually pretty peaceful and family-oriented. My best friend lived across the street, and I have three siblings so I was rarely alone. It all seemed like a pretty small world because if I wasn’t with my family, I was involved with activities through the Mormon Church like Boy Scouts or piano lessons. Most of my memories are of the house, the land, family trips, parties, and art projects. We had a lot of animals and our own garden so that was a big part of everyday life as well. Everything changed when I got to middle school and high school. We sold the animals, quit the church and its activities, and my siblings and I started to veer off into our own interests. Outside of school, I didn’t have a big social life. I rarely went to parties, and if I did, I had to be home early. I remember being in high school and a friend from Track and Field showed up unexpectedly 2 4 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

BY MA RK ARI EL | PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNI NGHAM

at my house to tell me that my art portfolio had won the top prize at the LA County Fair. I couldn’t imagine that anyone from school would take the time out to pay me a visit. It was as if all of my worlds were colliding.

WHEN YOU’RE MADE TO FEEL LESS THAN, I THINK AN INSTINCTUAL REACTION IS BE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN. How was the coming out process for you? I never liked the idea of coming out. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I never wanted to make a big announcement. I remember seeing Ellen’s Time Magazine cover, but nobody wanted to talk about it. I didn’t grow up in an area that was very kind to gay people and that magazine cover was really the only example I had. No one sat me down and told me that there were other gay people like me who were amazing artists or who achieved great things. I was scared that being gay would make me an instant failure. When I entered high school, things started changing. I still wasn’t out, but I knew that I wanted to wait until I went to off to college. I felt that I didn’t owe anyone back home a single shred more of myself, so I withheld my coming out until I was 19. I remember I was at home for the summer from UCLA, and was washing my car to pick up my boyfriend, Mark. My mom came out and asked me where I was going and I told her that I was bringing Mark home and that he was my boyfriend. She said something like “yeah, I figured”. It was such an awkward time, because my coming

out felt so delayed, so I’m sure there was a collective sigh of relief. Were you ever bullied in school? Growing up, I was bullied a lot. There were periods where it felt like everyday someone would say something or threaten me… When you’re made to feel less than, I think an instinctual reaction is be the best at everything you possibly can. I almost always got straight As. One time I got a B and I remember crying my eyes out. I was the fastest runner, and was always regarded as the artist and dancer of the school. My peers didn’t always give me respect, so I got plenty from my teachers. I just thought that if everyone’s going to have an opinion on me, then they’re going to see everything else that I’m capable of doing. I definitely wasn’t a shrinking violet. I believe there’s great power in achievement and self-expression. What are you currently working on? Currently, I have my own company Opus Prime Studio (www.opusprimestudio.com). Traditionally, it can be regarded as jewelry, but it really stemmed out of my sculpture practice during graduate school. It’s definitely the most freeing of my creative endeavors because I get to create whatever I want. It’s one of the most gratifying projects I’ve ever done, and it’s the one that requires the most patience. I’ve never been a very patient person but the process of spending dozens of hours creating a single handmade design is very meditative. I could do it for hours on end. I also model and act, both of which I kind of fell into as a byproduct of my workout routine. The desire to get in front of the camera was always there, but it wasn’t until I started training at StrengthRx Crossfit (where I’m also the Office Manager), that I had the confidence to do so, because my

> > AARON VALENZUELA < <

body started changing. I refer to it as my second puberty! I look at my body as a vessel of expression, and working out really helped me reach a certain level of potential that I always believed I had, and there’s always room for growth. I go by the old saying “Use it, or lose it.” What motivates you? Ideas of potential are huge motivators. Also, movement. If you’ve got room for potential and movement, then you’re truly alive. Only the dead are motionless and turn away from progress. What gets you angry? Seeing good people get taken advantage of really makes my blood boil, whether it’s on a social, political or personal level. I’ll always fight for the underdog. The problem is that we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of all the time. The best way to stay one step ahead is to be educated, and I’m not necessarily talking about a college degree. I’m talking about people being educating enough to properly navigate the modern systems in which we participate so these systems work for you, and not the other way around. What is your relationship status? I’m single. I’m open to meeting the right guy, but LA is such a tough crowd. I’d like to say I’m actively dating, but it’s hard to find time… Or, maybe those are just both lame excuses [laughs]. For more on Aaron Valenzuela: www.aaronvalenzuela.com www.instagram.com/ aaronvalenzuela JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 25

STAGE NAME: Holly Wood AGE: 27 HOMETOWN: Riverside, CA SELF IDENTIFY AS: A Gay Man CURRENT, PAST OCCUPATIONS: Currently a Drag Queen and Personal Trainer, past occupation—Retail Manager. CHILDHOOD CRUSH: Brad Pitt, though I did go through a Justin Timberlake phase. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Taken. PET PEEVE: Personal hygiene: rinse, scrub, brush, repeat! BEST AND WORST QUALITIES: Best quality is my personality! Worst quality I feel is my ears, I feel like I could fly with them. SOMETHING NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT YOU: I’m terrified of spiders. CONTACT INFO: Facebook.com/thehollywoodeffect, Instagram.com/thehollywoodeffect.

2 6 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

THESPREAD

VICTOR MORRIS PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM

JULY E F I GH T 27 AP R I L 2016 | TH THE

THETRANSACTION >> TRANSGENDER IN AMERICA <<

to identify as transgender, the researchers say, citing the 0.7 percent of adults ages 18 to 24 who do so. To compile their results, researchers at the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law drew on data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey as well as from the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, which includes representative surveys of the 50 states, the District of Columbia, and U.S. territories.

ENDING THE BAN

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS

1.4 million adults identify as transgender in America; Pentagon ends ban on transgender troops in military. BY O RLY LYO N N E

n estimated 1.4 million people—around 0.6 percent of U.S. adults—identify as transgender, according to a new study. “The findings from this study are critical to current policy discussions that impact transgender people,” said Jody Herman, an author of the study. “Policy debates on access to bathrooms, discrimination, and a host of other issues should rely on the best available data to assess potential impacts, including how many people may be affected.”

YOUNG ADULTS The fully urban District of Columbia has the highest percentage of adults who identify as transgender, with 14,550 people—around 2.77 percent of the federal district’s population. Several states have 100,000 or more people who identify as transgender, according to the researchers: California, with 218,000; Florida, with 100,300; and Texas, with 125,350. The highest percentages of adults identifying as transgender per state were found in Hawaii, California, Georgia, and New 2 8 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

THE HIGHEST PERCENTAGES OF ADULTS IDENTIFYING AS TRANSGENDER PER STATE WERE FOUND IN HAWAII, CALIFORNIA, GEORGIA, AND NEW MEXICO. Mexico—all with 0.8 percent— followed by Texas and Florida with 0.7 percent, according to the study. Five states were found to have the lowest percentages of transgender-identified adults, all with 0.3 percent: North Dakota, Iowa, Wyoming, Montana, and South Dakota. Young adults are most likely

In related news—saying it’s the right thing to do, Defense Secretary Ash Carter announced last month that transgender people will be allowed to serve openly in the U.S. military, ending one of the last bans on service in the armed forces. “Americans who want to serve and can meet our standards should be afforded the opportunity to compete to do so,” said Carter, laying out a one-year plan to implement the change. “Our mission is to defend this country, and we don’t want barriers unrelated to a person’s qualification to serve preventing us from recruiting or retaining the soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine who can best accomplish the mission.” Under the new policy, by Oct. 1, transgender troops already serving should be able to receive medical care and begin formally changing their gender identifications in the Pentagon’s personnel system. And, a year from now, the military services will begin allowing transgender individuals to enlist, as long as they meet required standards and have been stable in their identified genders for 18 months. n

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>> CHRISTIAN MINGLE <<

MINGLE AWAY California judge rules ChristianMingle must allow same-sex matches. BY O RLY LYO NNE

GBTQ singles looking for love will soon have another online dating site to rustle through. Thanks to a recent lawsuit, Los Angeles-based Spark Networks Inc. must now open its many sites, including ChristianMingle.com, to those looking for same-sex connections, reports lgbtqnation.com. Back in 2013, two gay men filed a classaction lawsuit against Spark Networks claiming that the company’s various dating sites (SilverSingles.com, BlackSingles.com, CatholicMingle.com, etc.) excluded samesex options for singles. Restricting options by forcing users to register as “man seeking woman” or “woman seeking man,” they said, violated the Unruh Civil Rights Act, an anti-discrimination law in California that requires businesses to provide “full and equal accommodations” regardless of sexual orientation. Spark Networks’ Jewish matchmaking site JDate.com was not included in the suit. A state judge approved the terms, requiring that Spark applies these changes within two years. The company agreed to pay each plaintiff $9,000 and $450,000 in attorneys’ fees. A representative from Spark said he was “pleased to resolve this litigation.” One of the plaintiffs’ attorneys, Vineet Dubey of Custodio & Dubey LLP said: “I am gratified that we were able to work with Spark to help ensure that people can fully participate in all the diverse market places that make our country so special, regardless of their sexual orientation.”

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A FEW GOOD MEN

Sailors and Marines discharged from military service because of their sexuality urged to appeal that injustice.

BY VICTO R MELA MED

avy Department officials are urging the thousands of sailors and Marines forced out of the military because of their sexuality in previous decades to come forward and appeal their discharge—in a step to restore benefits and right a historical wrong, reports Navy Times. The Board for Correction of Naval Records can overturn a wide range of records, from counseling letters to detachments for cause, but recently they have been putting the word out to veterans who were separated because of the military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy—and its previous across-the-board ban—that they can have their discharges upgraded and their reenlistment codes or reason codes changed to reflect a post-DADT world.

3 2 T H E F IIGH GH T | www.thefightmag.com 32 THE

“If you were discharged under ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell,’ come in,” Navy Secretary Ray Mabus said in a June 8 speech at a Pentagon event for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month. “The Board of Corrections for Naval Records will take a look at changing that discharge characterization … If you have colleagues that were discharged under that, ask them to come in—if it’s under the regulations, get that discharge characterization changed.” Since opening the service to gays and lesbians in 2011, the Navy has granted 123 discharge upgrades out of 413 requests, according to Defense Department data. Those who have won their cases have restored access to veteran education and health benefits.

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SOBER SUMMER

With summertime in full swing, we asked a few local sober folks with various lengths of recovery time what it’s like attending summer events completely clean and sober. TOKEYO PETERSON

INSPIRING TIMES

“I’m an advocate for having a lot of fun in sobriety because we don’t get sober to be sad and depressed, or be bored. What’s the point of being sober if you can’t have any fun? And I feel like summer is the perfect time to go to all of these parties, we can go to pool parties, or circuit parties or even sex clubs. Summertime is one of the most happy and inspiring times to be sober. I surround myself with a lot of sober people that like to have fun as much as I do. I don’t really feel triggered by this time of year. I look forward to it actually.” —Tokeyo Peterson, sober since April, 2016.

LIBERALLY APPLY “I’m sober, but I’m actually a ginger as well, so we don’t do too well in the sun. We don’t do well at pool parties. We can blind people by the light of our skin. I don’t actually partake in a lot of the things that might be a trigger for certain people. So much of my social life is wrapped up with other people who are sober so

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they don’t really drive me to want to use or drink. I’m just not around it. I just avoid it. There are plenty of sober fun things to do in the summertime that I don’t need to fall back to previous behaviors or social crowds that put me in danger. I do go to smaller pool parties if there are sober birthday parties and I liberally apply sunblock. I like to walk around and go bike-riding and enjoy the world around me and go on hikes and soak up the nature. I’m very active. Summer, fall, winter all blended together when I wasn’t sober. It’s tough knowing what season it is when you’re stuck in a sex club with a meth pipe in your mouth.” —Matthew Cogswell, sober since September 2012

HOT IT IS

JONATHAN “I have eleven years of BIERNER sobriety so it’s pretty much my ritual not to drink or use. I don’t consider it. About two summers ago, I was confronted with the words ‘Sunday Funday.’ It was a new thing that I had never been a part of, because maybe I was too lit, but since I heard those words, I MATTHEW COGSWELL kind of dreaded Sundays. I had to learn to create my own Sunday Funday. I had to find things that I liked doing sober. They’re not the typical things that people would say they like to do. I like to go to swap meets and buy things for a quarter of a price that you would normally pay for them. That gives me a natural high. For me, that is fun… I also love going to Palm Springs. That’s fun for me. I don’t care how hot it is.” —Jonathan Bierner, sober since March, 2005.

The Foundations family of integrated treatment centers is expanding to the City of Angels! Providing both residential and outpatient treatment for drug and alcohol addiction in California and across the country, our convenient locations offer hope and healing. FoundationsRecoveryNetwork.com 855-316-6080

California family of outpatient treatment centers: PALM SPRINGS | SANTA MONICA LOS ANGELES | SAN DIEGO | SAN FRANCISCO

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 35

THEJOYSTICK

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

>> VIDEO GAMES <<

EDGAR GARCIA

EDGAR’S WORLD

“World 8” owner Edgar Garcia on androgyny, gender fluidity and Cody from Street Fighter. BY JO SEPH A RELLA N O

ounded and led by Edgar Garcia “World 8” is a quirky, charming video game boutique making waves and headlines for being the center for hardcore video-gamers. In an interview with THE FIGHT Garcia, a gay man, reveals that “videogames and other media allowed me to be social with so many people. In a school as huge and diverse as the one I attended these were the things that forged friendships… it helped to know that I wasn’t the only one obsessed with at the time Final Fantasy VII, Smash Bros (N64) Goldeneye, Breath of Fire III, Starfox 64 and so many others. This allowed me to feel a sense of belonging these people who changed my name to Midgar ( capital city of FFVII) ever since games have always played a huge role in my everyday life.”

like androgyny and gender fluidity which is more prevalent in Japanese culture has helped the western general population understand us a little better. Or at the very least not make us seem too weird… Personally I’ve never been too pushy for inclusiveness, I grew up playing games where characters were very 1 dimensional, I could care less who mega man wanted to marry. Nowadays everyone wants their character to represent their own values and beliefs etc. and it kind of makes me feel old. I’m glad that games like mass effect allow for gay characters and such but I don’t want to fight for it. Or over it. I just want good games. What makes World 8 unique? I hate to sound so cheesy but we are a store for gamers by gamers, our staff is hired based on their knowledge and passion for the games, we’re also very diverse. But more importantly I think it’s our attitude of acceptance of everyone that walks through the door. Whether it’s the dude in the wedding dress, or the guy who just plays Call Of Duty (and nothing else…) you will be treated as we like to be treated. Do people have video game character fetishes? Definitely, I think it’s more common with straight folk but that could be lack of options. There’s no shortage of detailed ,very expensive female character figures and statuettes, the internet is full of fan fiction and art - it’s everywhere. Personally I’ve always had a thing for Cody from Street Fighter …

How did World 8 materialize and when did it become a reality? In 2011 in the middle of the recession my brother was laid off and I wasn’t financially stable so we figured we’d try to sell as much of our collection as possible, knowing we’d never get the actual value of the items - we considered a temporary store front. Fortunately we found a failing business with less than a year to go on its lease so we took it over and began our tiny retail operation. We figured less than a year would be enough to make our loot and bail… Well that clearly didn’t happen, people liked our store so we began getting request for new releases, consoles, figures, plush, so we began to carry as much as we could afford. We didn’t realize at the time but we were providing a service that no one else was.

Is there anything else you would like to say to the LGBT gaming community? I’ve recently come to realize that our community is still not completely integrated with mainstream society, just like certain branches of the gaming community. Having that in common with the non-LGBT folk I want our community to know that there’s a safe place outside the gay bar, the gay club, away from the WeHos and Silverlakes of the world. Everyone is welcome at World-8… no matter who you are or who you love.

Do you think the gaming community is transcending with LGBT folks while becoming more inclusive? I think our peeps have always been an integral part of our community. I think things

World 8 is located at 1057 S. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90006. Tel: 213-289-5212. Visit their website at: world-8.com.

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JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 37

THEEPIDEMIC

SUPPRESSING THE VIRUS

New therapy keeps HIV at bay without daily drug regimen. BY VICTO R MELA MED

he hunt for an HIV treatment that roots the virus out of its hiding places and kills it just got more interesting, reports the LA Times. A human antibody that already has shown promise in protecting people against HIV infection has demonstrated the ability to suppress the resurgence of the infection for as long as 19 weeks in infected people who stopped taking their antiretroviral medications. In a letter published in the journal Nature, scientists report that in 13 HIV-infected people who discontinued their cocktail of retroviral drugs, infusions of a neutralizing antibody called 3BNC117 staved off the expected rebound of the human immunodeficiency virus for more than a month. Typically, when an HIV-infected patient stops taking his or her anti-retroviral medications, the virus bounces back to dangerous levels within 18 days, reports the LA Times. But in findings reported last month, scientists wrote that all of the 13 participants saw their viral loads suppressed to very low levels for at least five weeks after their last treatment—delaying resurgence of the virus twice as long as normal. Six of the 13 participants saw their viral loads suppressed

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to very low levels for at least nine weeks after their last treatment—three times the normal span.

INFUSIONS OF A NEUTRALIZING ANTIBODY CALLED 3BNC117 STAVED OFF THE HUMAN IMMUNODEFICIENCY VIRUS FOR MORE THAN A MONTH. The new finding emerged from a clinical trial designed to assess the safety of an experimental therapy that aims to harness the immune system to battle HIV infection. Trial

participants who discontinued their anti-retroviral medications were monitored closely and returned to their drug regimen as soon as the rebound of the virus was detected. None of the patients experienced acute retroviral syndrome—a powerful resurgence of the virus that makes it harder to regain control of HIV following a medication lapse. And genetic sequencing of eight participants’ rebounding viruses suggested that the antibody infusions had not, in most cases, flushed different or more-resistant strains of HIV from their hiding places. In fact, reports the LA Times, the authors of the new report said, the antibody therapy “appears to restrict the outgrowth of viral genotypes from the latent reservoir.” The experimental therapy is part of a broad effort to find new ways to control HIV infection, and possibly to drive it out altogether. n

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 39

>> MICHAEL SAM <<

SWEETIE, DARLING!

They’re back! Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, opens nationwide on July 22.

dina Monsoon and Patsy Stone (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley) are still oozing glitz and glamour, living the high life they are accustomed to: shopping, drinking and clubbing their way around London’s trendiest hotspots in Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie. 4 0 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

But when they accidentally push Kate Moss into the River Thames at an über-fashionable launch party, Eddy and Patsy become entangled in a media storm surrounding the supermodel’s untimely demise and are relentlessly pursued by the paparazzi. Fleeing penniless to the glamorous playground of the super-rich, the French

Riviera, they hatch a plan to make their escape permanent and live the high life forever more! Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, directed by Mandie Fletcher and produced by Jon Plowman and Damian Jones, will be released by Fox Searchlight Pictures nationwide on July 22nd, 2016.

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 41

>> MICHAEL SAM <<

HBO’S THE TRANS LIST

QUEER FILM The 2016 Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival returns to the Ford Theatres.

BY ORLY LYONNE

ith 162 films from 19 different countries, Outfest Los Angeles once again brings together the highest quality of LGBTQ film in the world along with highlighting efforts in the mainstream media to tell those stories. The 2016 Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival returns to the Ford Theatres after a two-year renovation of the historic venue. The much anticipated comedy, Ghostbusters will kick off the screenings on July 13 with Documentary Centerpiece Kiki, Bearcity 3, Modern Love, and Closing Night Gala Other People following on the subsequent days. “It is an amazing year for LGBT cinema,” says Outfest Director of Programming Lucy Mukerjee-Brown. “Outfest Los Angeles continues to raise the profile of queer film, and launch the careers of LGBT filmmakers. This year we are particularly proud to spotlight women in the industry with 43% of the festival’s content helmed by female directors. Relatedly, at a time when there is some concern about film production in Los Angeles, it was heartening to see local, independent filmmakers making use of the rich diversity of this city to propel their storytelling. The Made in LA spotlight pulls together the mosaic of cultures that make up this city and reminds us that despite our differences, we are one community.” Spotlight screenings include the Season 2 premiere of Hulu’s Difficult People; a tribute screening of The Hunger in honor of David Bowie; HBO’s Looking: The Movie and

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“… PULLING TOGETHER THE MOSAIC OF CULTURES THAT MAKE UP THIS CITY, REMINDING US THAT DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES, WE ARE ONE COMMUNITY.” The Trans List; Tig Notaro’s new comedy series One Mississippi from Amazon as well as the Season 3 premiere of Transparent; and TBS’ new comedy series Search Party. For more information and for a complete listing of films in 2016 Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival, log on to outfest.org or call 213-480-7065, Monday - Friday, 10:00am - 6:00pm.

GET BACK INTO THE SWING PROSTATE PILLS GOT YOU DOWN? Erectile Dysfunction Dizziness Lack of Energy Headaches Nasal Congestion There is a proven approach to enlarged prostate treatment that doesn’t require ongoing medication or major surgery and preserves sexual function.1

www.WalshUrology.com

Meet Dr. Lance Walsh, BoardCertified Urologist. Private, “mini consultations” available after the presentation.

Join us for one of our free health education seminars on the UroLift® System, a new procedure to treat BPH. Friday, June 24, 2:00 pm (Ventana Room) Friday, July 29, 2:00 pm (Ventana Room) Friday, August 26, 2:00 pm (Sun City Shadow Hills) Check in at 1:45 pm Location: Mountain View Clubhouse Sun City Palm Desert SPACE IS LIMITED - PLEASE RSVP

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(855) 564-9722

Public, partners and guests welcome. Refreshments provided.

Most common adverse events reported include hematuria, dysuria, micturition urgency, pelvic pain, and urge incontinence. Most symptoms were mild to moderate in severity and resolved within two to four weeks after the procedure. 1. Roerhborn, Can J Urology 2015 3-Year L.I.F.T. Study ©2016 NeoTract, Inc. All rights reserved. MAC00279-01 Rev A Not endorsed by SCPDCA

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 43

ME TARZAN

>> MENINGITIS <<

Alexander Skarsgard on strong gay role models. BY VICTOR MELAMED

T ME TARZAN Alexander Skarsgard on strong gay role models. BY VICTO R MELA MED

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he Legend of Tarzan’s Alexander Skarsgard wants you to know that he is flattered to have the support of LGBT fans. In an interview with Pride Source last month Skarsgard reveals that he grew up with strong gay role models, reports www. towleroad.com. “It’s always been the most natural thing to me because my uncle and godfather is a gay man and so growing up, even as a little toddler, it was just as natural as being straight. My aunt would show up with her husband and my uncle would show up with his husband. He was, by far, out of my father’s four siblings, the most fashionable and the most trendy, cool guy. So, when I was a kid, he was the one I looked up to. I thought he was really badass: fit and awesome and cool, and obviously not because he was gay.” “When I became a teenager and the kids made fun of other teenagers who were gay, I never really understood that,” says Skarsgard. “It just baffled me because my idol, my godfather, was gay, and he was the coolest guy. To read the full interview go to pridesource.com.

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 45

THEEVENT >> TEXT AND PHOTOS BY PAULO MURILLO <<

BULLET BAR PULSE FUNDRAISING EVENT The Bullet Bar in North Hollywood held a raffle / fundraising event last month with all bar sales benefiting the Pulse victims in Orlando. Gear Worxxx (Gearworxxx. com) and Magnolia Grille (themagnoliagrille.com) put together gift baskets and other raffle prizes. Other sponsors included Young’s Market Company, Tito’s Handmade Vodka and Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Fire. Miracle Mike (IamMiracleMike.com) donated massages and haircuts were provided by Marquis De’ Von Men’s Grooming Studio (marquisdevonstudio.com). For more info visit BulletBarLA.com.

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OFFICIAL CLOSING PARTY OF UP YOUR ALLEY

.com

bayofpigs.eventbrite

ROU GH.eventbrite.c om JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 47

THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO << GROUPS

THROUGH SUNDAY, JULY 17

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org

OUTFEST: LOS ANGELES Queer Film Festival. Tickets & Info: outfest.org.

GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org

SUNDAY, JULY 10

ONYX SOUTHWEST PRESENTS: CAGED HEAT Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles, 4pm- 8pm. Info: www.EagleLA.com. Turn up the heat with the Men of Onyx Southwest for their first beer bust of the summer. Door prizes, Raffles and Hot Go Gos.

LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info

CRISCO DISCO The Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, 4pm- 8pm. Info: www.bulletbarla.com. 70s classics & rare disco grooves. DJ Steve Cunningham and DJ Brian Novy, Every 2nd Sunday of every month.

GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight

CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org

GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org

FRIDAY, JULY 15

LOST PUPPY 2YR ANNIVERSARY The Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, 9pm. Info: www.EagleLA.com. Green Mirror presents an event for puppies, handlers, boys and daddies looking to be found with DJ Candy. FAGGOTRY: BRUCE LABRUCE PHOTO RETROSPECTIVE Lethal Amounts, 1226 W 7th St., 8pm. Info: lethalamounts.com. Actor, writer, filmmaker, photographer and underground adult director based in Toronto, Ontario. His films explore themes of sexual and interpersonal transgression against cultural norms, frequently blending the artistic and production techniques of independent film with pornography. DIANA ROSS AT THE BOWL The Hollywood Bowl, 2301 N Highland Ave., 8pm. Info: HollywoodBowl.com. Motown legend Diana Ross returns to the Bowl, performing hits like “Stop! In the Name of Love,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and “I’m Coming Out.” SATURDAY, JULY 16

RUSH Tom of Finland Foundation, 1421 Laveta Terrace, Los Angeles, 9pm-2am. Tickets & Info: www.eventbrite.com/e/rush-tickets-25464257279. A play party for men presented by the Los Angeles Band of Brothers. Discover the depths of fraternity. Pledging is only the beginning! You MUST purchase a ticket for the event in order to attend. SUNDAY, JULY 17

THE KINSEY SICKS: ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Pl, Los Angeles, 7pm. Join The Kinsey Sicks as Rachel, Trampolina, Trixie and Winnie campaign to become the first Dragapella® Beautyshop Quartet to be elected President of the United States on the Republican ticket. SATURDAY, JULY 23

URGE PRESENTS TSUNAMI Andaz West Hollywood, 8401 W Sunset Blvd. 12pm-6pm. Tickets on sale at: urge-entertainment.com. LA’s sexiest pool party. Featuring Celebrity Hosts J Sutta and Dexter Mayfield, The Deep Eddy Vodka VIP lounge, live performances by Club 4 8 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com

HIV MEDICAL & CASE MANAGEMENT “Smart Health LA” At Valley Community Healthcare In North Hollywood Offers HIV Testing And Medical Services Including Counseling And Medical Treatment. For Testing Call Brian at 818-301-6314; For Medical Services Call Gilbert at 818-301-6390. www.SmartHealthLA.com

Posers and The Betty Cockerz, Gogo Dancers, Vendors, and Give-a-ways. All proceeds benefit the Thrive Tribe Foundation and Orlando Victims. CIGAR BAR Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, 9pm. Hosted by Master Kevin Cowger, featuring VJ Myles Matisse, private cocktail server. SQURRRL: ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE SEA Akbar, 4356 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, 9pm–2am. Info: www.akbarsilverlake.com. Set your underwater imagination free! Come as a shark, seahorse, deep sea diver or jellyfish, your favorite beach wear, or a giant clam. Anything goes! FRIDAY, JULY 29

LE BAL: A DRAG EXTRAVAGANZA The Theatre at Ace Hotel DTLA, 929 S Broadway, 9pm. Purchase tickets at theatre. acehotel.com. There are drag shows and then there are Drag Extravaganzas. Le Bal’s back to show you the difference. higher heels put you closer to god. Doors open at 7:30pm. BC&B PRESENTS: DOG DAYS OF SUMMER The Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, 9pm. Info: www.EagleLA.com. Back by popular demand, BC&B returns for its second meet up for one of the most popular Instagram pages for bears, cubs, bearded men and fans! Come socialize on a warm summer night with many of your favorite-featured men. NO COVER! Featuring DJ Ryan Jones (Bearracuda). SATURDAY, JULY 30

DENLA PRESENTS: HOT! 10914 S La Cienega Blvd, Lennox, CA 90304 (near LAX), 9pm–2:30am. Info: denlapresents.com. Celebrating the zenith of summer with the hottest men, the hottest beats, and the hottest play spaces in LA!

POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO editor@thefightmag.com POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.

TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences.

SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m.

GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 201-1561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. TRAVEL

CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.

WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS

LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

FRIENDS TRAVEL www.FriendsTravel.com Gay Owned & Operated, Since 1985.

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

12 STEP GROUPS

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www.greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089

LA ROWING www.larowing.org

DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042

DIFFERENT SPOKES ycling www differents o es co Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org WORSHIP

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit

www.the ghtmag.com

JULY 2016 | TH E F I GH T 49

THEFINALFIGHT >> ZAYED <<

have been very red. I got up and went to the bathroom, my hands holding onto the sink, my whole body trembling… In my fantasy mind he follows me to the bathroom and tells me it is okay, do not be afraid and he holds me until the shaking stops. But in real life that doesn’t happen. I wash my face and go back to my desk. He is not there—he went out for a meeting and I feel relieved.

•••

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE

Excerpts from a series of online chats with Zayed, a gay Muslim man, living in Saudi Arabia. BY MARK ARIEL

wake up every morning and think to myself today will be my last day on this earth. I think to myself there is absolutely no way I can live another day, with this burden, this heartache, this guilt, and I beg for God’s forgiveness. But Allah, blessed be His name, ignores me. And I realize I must go on. Even though this life is so unbearable I pray for death.

••• At work there is this guy. He came to the office a few months ago. He is average height, skinny, like me, with beautiful eyes and lips. And a beautiful smile. When he smiles I feel like my whole world lights up. I can’t stop staring at him. I try not to be obvious. One day he looked up and saw me staring and I quickly turned away, my heart beating like a hammer. I felt myself burning up, my face must 5 50 0 TTH HEE FFIIGH GHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com

I chatted online with this American guy. He told me about his boyfriend and his family and how his parents realized he was gay at a young age and how they totally accepted him and his boyfriend. I told him how lucky he was— but inside—I am ashamed now to tell you—I was angry. I was angry that I do not have his life. You cannot choose your life or where you are born—I know that. It just seems so unfair that some people have everything and can live openly and love openly and be happy— while others have to stay in the shadows, living in a society that looks down upon you, spits upon you, makes jokes about you and maybe get you arrested if you are not careful.

••• I was maybe 4 or 5 years old and Ricky Martin was on the television singing La Vida Loca. I was so excited to see him and I told my mother that I love him and that he is so handsome. And she laughed and said yes he is handsome but you do not love him. Men do not love men. Men love women. And I said if I was a woman I would want to marry him and love him forever. She

gave me a funny look and then she hugged me and whispered in my ear to never to say that again… I think she understood me and wanted to protect me.

••• My only way to live my real life is in this online chat—but even that is becoming dangerous because they say now that the police are monitoring the internet. So I never meet anyone because I don’t know if they are real or just trying to get me arrested… Nobody knows the real me. I have never been with a man. Not in real life. But in my dreams my husband and I live in a small house close to the ocean. Every morning we walk on the beach, holding hands. Sometimes we go into the sea, splashing water on each other, laughing. Like couples do.

••• I tried getting a visa to Germany to study engineering and get a better life but I wasn’t approved and I didn’t have enough money anyway. I thought about USA because my English is good from all the television I used to watch—but right now—even if I saved up the money—I don’t think it is possible for a Muslim to get visa… Sometimes, when I think about my future, having to live a lie for the rest of my life, I get so depressed I want to die… When I feel this way there is a poem I read that makes me happy. It is by Kahlil Gibran. One moment and I will find translation for you… here it is: “For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.” n

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