THE FIGHT SOCAL'S LGBT MONTHLY MAGAZINE AUGUST 2015 by The Fight Magazine

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THECONTENTS >> MORE TO COME <<

C O V E R S T O R I E S A N D F E AT U R E S

BEACH 17 PRIDE Ventura County Pride

18 AIDS WALK LOS ANGELES

The Walk Returns To WeHo

20 HAROLD AND CLAUDE

Intergenerational Relationships

24 DADDY ISSUES Dr. Ralph Mayer

CONTROL 30 CRUZ The Sex Workers Outreach Project

32 PASSING THE TORCH The Daddy Express

34 SKIN DEEP

Cosmetic Rejuvenation

36 PALM SPRINGS MOD SQUAD Discover The Desert

38 YOUR BEST LIFE

Men’s Sexual Health

ON THE COVER DR. RALPH MAYER KEN PATTERSON COVER PHOTO, MAIN TOC PHOTO AND FEATURE PHOTO BY: DUSTI CUNNINGHAM HAIR AND MAKE UP: BARBARA “BARBIE” HOLMES

DEPARTMENTS

12 THE LETTERS Our Readers 14 THE TALK Hillary Clinton 16 THE CITY Leslie Jordan 22 THE ROSTOW REPORT Bad Monkey 28 THE TRANSACTION Trans Support 40 THE JOYSTICK Gaming 42 THE SHARE Local Sobriety 45 THE EPIDEMIC The Center 46 THE EVENT Faultline

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48 THE CALENDAR Events 50 THE FINAL FIGHT Last Word

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THEEDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Michael Bishop Tom Pardoe Eric Slayton Joe Faragher SOCIAL MEDIA Paulo Murillo Michael Bishop >> IN THIS ISSUE <<

In this issue of THE FIGHT cover model Dr. Ralph Mayer, a Los Angeles based obstetrician-gynecologist, speaks candidly about intergenerational relationships (“Daddy Issues,” page 24). “One of my usernames online is DaddyDoc,” reveals Mayer. “I love dad/son role play and working with a great therapist came to be able to listen to my own internal compass and dismiss outside judgment. I am most comfortable with younger men. There is a light and fun and spontaneous nature to the interaction.” “Common negative stereotypes for younger gay adults in intergenerational relationships include that they: have daddy issues, are subservient, needy, poor, flaky, immature and in it for the money and/or status gains,” explains James Guay, LMFT (“Harold & Claude,” page 20). “Conversely, negative stereotypes for those who are older include that they: are immature, cradle-robbers, perverse, dominant/controlling, paying for it, manipulative and jaded,”

writes Guay. “These stereotypes, like most do, provide a black/white and simplistic justification for judging others. It puts each person in an age-disparate relationship into categories that are two-dimensional and easily ridiculed, regardless of their actual accuracy. As gay men, we have been the recipients of such devaluation and can end up doing this to others who are dissimilar to ourselves,” states Guay. “Unfortunately, sometimes bigotry begets bigotry as we attempt to redirect prejudices laid at our doorstep onto others. Healing and growing as a community requires us to acknowledge this and work to eradicate ALL forms of oppression, ageism and adultism included.” “Relationships work best when all parties involved share core values, not identical ages,” writes Guay. “Practicing good communication, asserting needs and resolving conflict can deepen intimacy and are the skills required for an LTR, whatever the ages of those in a relationship.”

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2015 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001

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THECONTRIBUTORS >> WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS <<

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. DUSTI CUNNINGHAM Los Angeles based photographer Dusti Cunningham grew up in a very clean single-wide trailer home in rural Kansas. His family didn’t own television so they watched tornadoes.

of the Moon, and Take Me Out. He also co-starred in the music video Hopeful Romantic, Hallmarks’ Holly’s Holiday, and other various short films.

Guay

Murillo

Rostow

Arellano

None of his dogs were named Toto. Dolly Parton and his mother were his heroes, both wore wigs. His inspirations are gypsies, pirates, circuses, 1970s glamour, and the National Enquirer. www.dusticunningham.com.

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Mitchell

Cunningham

JOSEPH ARELLANO A stage and film actor from Bedford, Indiana, Joe has been involved in community events such as The Friendly House Luncheon, PATH, and LA PRIDE. Joe has appeared in Titus Andronicus, Dark Side

JAMES GUAY James Guay, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mft 39252), is a West Hollywood based psychotherapist for individuals and couples, specializing in affirmative LGBTQ health and well being. Visit his web site www. LivingMoreFully.com or call 310-405-0840 for more info. CHRISTIAN MITCHELL An admitted latecomer to porn, Christian Mitchell has been busy making up for lost time. In just over two years, he’s become an award-winning, international gay adult actor and model, filming with most of the industry’s biggest studios and performing live across the US and in the UK.

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THELETTERS

DDF?

>> FROM OUR READERS <<

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ON POINT Dear Editor, Really enjoyed the conversation between Kit Williamson and John Halbach on marriage equality (THE FIGHT, “The Day After,” Issue #54). Totally agree with Kit about not wanting to see our community straight washed. Marriage equality should not be about reinforcing the idea that gay people need to behave exactly like straight people. Kit’s assertion that all people, gay and straight, should feel the freedom to forge their own paths in life and in their relationships—was absolutely on point. —Donald Reiss, Pasadena, CA

STOP STARING Dear Editor, OMG—I cannot stop staring at this cover with Eddie Eduardo (THE FIGHT, “Ginger Fever,” Issue #54)! He is so beautiful and sexy! Great interview as well. I like your magazine—keep up the good work! —Justin Tanner, Long Beach, CA

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Dear Editor, I have three questions. One—where has Eddie Eduardo (THE FIGHT, “Ginger Fever,” Issue #54) been all my life? Two—is he single? And three—can you give him my phone number? Thanks in advance! —Anthony Rossi, via the internet

A TRIFLE BETTER Dear Editor, While I understand the sentiment Rich Hawkins was going for about still feeling uncomfortable holding his boyfriend’s hand in public ((THE FIGHT, “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” Issue #54)—it was difficult not think about gay men in the middle east. Holding hands and having a few people stare at you seems to be a trifle better than getting thrown off a building, or stoned to death for being gay. —David Abelson, via the internet

> WRITE TO THE EDITOR

Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements. 1 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

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THETALK >> W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G <<

AVAN JOGIA

NOT SHAMING “I don’t care [if people think I’m gay] ... Look at where we’re at socially— leaps and bounds ahead of where we started. That’s an amazing thing. JEREMY To suggest that it’s negative, that RENNER being gay is a terrible thing, a perversion or whatever—I just don’t get it. Don’t you wish we were in a world where we’re not shaming, judging and boxing people in?” —”Avengers: Age of Ultron” actor Jeremy Renner in an interview in the July/August issue of Playboy.

BILLY CRYSTAL

YOUR SILENCE

“If you have a gay friend who is being bullied for that fact and you say nothing, your silence is as loud as their violence, is the best way to put it. It’s basically an education to people to stand up and speak up, and the worst sickness that we live with in this world is apathy.” —”Tut” star Avan Jogia talking about “Straight But Not Narrow,” the anti-bullying charity he co-founded that focuses specifically on preventing bullying and passive bystanding towards children because of their perceived sexuality, in an interview with uInterview.com last month.

YOUR FUTURE

PHOTO COURTESY OF SONOMA STOMPERS

“Prediction from a grown-up: Your future is going to be amazing. You will surprise yourself with what you’re capable of and the incredible things you go on to do. Find the people who love and believe in you— there will be lots of them.” —Hillary Clinton, in a Facebook HILLARY CLINTON comment, responding to a distraught gay youth who shared his anxiety about his future in a viral photograph posted on the Humans of New York Facebook page. “I’m homosexual, and I’m afraid about what my future will be and that people won’t like me,” he said, according to the caption.

MET THIS GUY “I told my teammates I was gay because as we were becoming friends, I didn’t want to feel like I was hiding or have to lie when they start to comment on girls. If a teammate SEAN CONROY tells me about how he met a girl at a bar, I tell him about how I met this guy at a bar. I try to keep it one-to-one as much as possible.” —Sonoma Stompers pitcher Sean Conroy coming out last month, in an interview with USA TODAY Sports. 1 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

JESUS WOULD “I think Jesus would encourage any love affair if it was honest and sincere and was not damaging to anyone else, and I don’t see that gay marriage damages anyone else... I believe Jesus PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER would approve gay marriage. That’s just my own personal opinion.” —Former President Jimmy Carter in a HuffPost Live interview last month.

I’M UNEQUIVOCAL “I believe in the principle of treating people equally under the law, and that they are deserving of equal protection under the law and that the PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA state should not discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation... I’m unequivocal on this.” —President Obama in Kenya last month, during a joint press conference with Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta. Kenyatta’s government has staunchly defended laws imposing up to 14 years in prison for homosexuality.

IMPOSE ON PEOPLE

“There are some things [gay rights] that we must admit we don’t share—our culture, our societies don’t accept. It is very difficult for us to be able to impose on people that which they themselves PRESIDENT UHURU do not accept.” KENYATTA —Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta, during a joint press conference with President Obama last month.

WATCH WHAT

“Watch what happens, love affairs between men and animals are going to be absolutely permitted. Polygamy, without PAT ROBERTSON question, is going to be permitted, and it will be called a right.” —Televangelist Pat Robertson on the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage on “The 700 Club” last month.

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THECITY >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

LESLIE JORDAN CONFRONTS HOMOPHOBIA IN WEHO

ctor Leslie Jordan made headlines last month for throwing his sweet tea at a man who walked into Starbucks on Santa Monica Boulevard and Westbourne Drive, in the heart of West Hollywood and started harassing gay clients. Jordan, who stands at 4’11”, did not let his height get in the way, when three heterosexual males walked into what some call The Big Gay Starbucks in WeHo last month and started yelling the word “faggot” for no apparent LESLIE JORDAN reason. The men were asked to leave by management for using foul language and disrupting the peace. On his way out, one of the men yelled “You will die f*cking faggots,” prompting Jordan to confront him and yell, “Get out of my house!” The guy lunged at Leslie and Leslie threw his tea at him. The Sheriff’s arrived at the scene, but no charges were filed.

CANCER AND HPV IN GAY MEN

DR. TONY MILLS

he City of West Hollywood hosted a “Booty Call to Action” a community forum on anal cancer and HPV (human papillomavirus) in gay men, last month. The event included a panel discussion, followed by a reception. The panelists included Tony Mills, M.D., Medical Director, Anthony Mills M.D., Inc., and Assistant Professor of Clinical Medicine at UCLA; Robert Bolan, M.D., Medical Director, Los Angeles LGBT Center; and Dorothy J. Wiley, Ph.D., R.N., F.A.A.N., Associate Professor, UCLA School of Nursing. The discussion was moderated by Councilmember John Duran. Among men who have sex with men the incidence of anal cancer is increasing annually - some estimates indicate that men who have sex with men are as much as 20 to 40 times more likely to be diagnosed with anal cancer, when compared to rates within the general population.

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OC SCOUTS TO GAYS: COME BACK

eaders with the Boy Scouts’ Orange County Council said they were ready to support the new membership policy following the organization’s decision to allow openly gay members and employees. The Boy Scouts of America executive board’s voted on last month to remove its ban on openly gay troop leaders and employees, prohibiting discrimination against paid worker at BSA-owned facilities. Some religious-sponsored groups are still allowed to discriminate against openly gay volunteers. Since the Orange County Council is a chartered member, it is not granted a religious exemption. “I’m going to spend all of my efforts focusing on things that unite us, not things that divide people,” president and scout executive Jeff Herrmann told the Orange County Register. “

SKETCH RELEASED OF ASSAULT SUSPECT

he West Hollywood Sheriff’s Station has released a sketch of a man who is a suspect in the assault of Kirk Doffing in the Boystown nightlife area on May 24, reports WeHoVille.com According to reports, Doffing was assaulted while walking on San Vicente Boulevard near an alley just North of Santa Monica Boulevard. The attack followed a verbal altercation. The suspects are believed to be four male Hispanics in their 20s. The City of West Hollywood is offering a KYLAR leading reward of $10,000 for information BROADUS to the arrest and conviction of the suspects. Anyone with information can contact Detective Berbiar at the West Hollywood Sheriff’s Station at (310) 855-8850. Anonymous tips can be to “Crime Stoppers” at (800) 222-TIPS (8477); text the letters TIPLA plus your tip to CRIMES (274637); or visit the website www.lacrimestoppers.org.

“CLUELESS” LGBT CENTER BENEFIT

20th anniversary screening of “Clueless” will take place at Hollywood Forever Cemetery on August 28, benefiting the LGBT Center. Actress Elisa Donovan (who played “Amber Mariens” in the film) will introduce the screening. VIP ticket holders will receive a 6pm early event entrance, complimentary driveon parking, and their own area of the lawn with provided blankets and pillows-all while enjoying a complimentary bottle of wine. General admission doors open at 7pm. Tickets for the event are currently on sale at lalgbtcenter.org/movie.

>> VENTURA COUNTY PRIDE <<

PRIDE Beach Mark your calendar: Ventura County Pride, Saturday, August 22, 2015. This year’s performers include Selma Cherry, Abby And The Myth, Elkke and Ani Nervokha. BY VICTO R MELA MED

entura County PRIDE will celebrate its annual festival on Saturday, August 22nd at Promenade Park, right off beautiful Ventura beach in sunny southern California. The event, the largest LGBT-oriented gathering in the county, brings together a crowd in which the differences in age, sexual orientation, gender identity, system of belief, race, language, and many more, only add up to its beauty and appeal.

Aside from the awesome location and great weather, the festival offers its attendees a chance to enjoy a variety of performers and their unique music and artistic skill, from local bands to well-loved drag queens. This year’s performers include Selma Cherry, Abby And The Myth, Elkke and Ani Nervokha. Ventura County PRIDE’s parent organization Diversity Collective Ventura County produces two other major annual events in the county besides the festival: the

ABBY AND THE MYTH

Diversity Gala (September 26, 2015), an upscale fundraiser for upcoming health/ wellness programs and services which unfortunately have lost their government funding; and the AIDS Walk Ventura (March 5, 2016), a 5K walk to celebrate and remember those in our community who have passed due to HIV/AIDS-related issues, to raise awareness about the importance of education on safer-sex practices, and to advocate for the eradication of the social stigma inflicted upon those who are currently affected by this disease. This year’s festival is expected to be the most successful yet, with the extra boost of happiness from the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality. For more info visit: vcpride.org.

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>> AIDS WALK L.A. <<

Benefiting APLA and dozens more HIV/AIDS service organizations, The Walk returns to West Hollywood this October. BY VICTO R MELA MED

he 31st annual AIDS Walk Los Angeles (AWLA) will take place on Sunday, October 11, 2015. The Walk, which starts and ends in West Hollywood, is expected to draw a crowd of more than 25,000 and raise millions of dollars in support of the tens of thousands of people living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County. The 10K fundraising walk will benefit AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) and more than 20 other important L.A. County

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AIDS service organizations. These groups provide essential support services to thousands of people living with HIV/ AIDS, as well as vital HIV prevention work that reaches many more throughout the Southland. Since its inception, AWLA has raised more than $79 million for APLA and its community allies. In addition to public officials and celebrities expected to support and attend the event, AIDS Walk Los Angeles is strongly

backed by the corporate community. Supporters this year include Premier Sponsors Gilead Sciences and Quest Diagnostics; Grand Sponsors ABC-7, The City of West Hollywood, Delta Air Lines, Paramount, and Paul Hastings; and Principal Sponsors Albertsons, Vons, Pavilions, Macyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Time Warner Cable, Toyota, and Wells Fargo. The 10K route travels through the streets of West Hollywood and Los Angeles, starting at Melrose Avenue and Santa Monica Boulevard. Participants are encouraged to register using the eventâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s newly revamped website at la.aidswalk.net.

PHOTO BY DONNA ACETO

AIDS Walk Los Angeles

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>> LEATHERMEN <<

Intergenerational relationships. Healing and growing as a community requires us to eradicate all forms of oppression, ageism and adultism included.

BY JAMES GUAY, LMFT

magine a gay couple whose age difference is greater than 15 years. What’s your first un-censored response when you imagine them? Do you judge, cringe, or assume what’s going on between them? Are you in a relationship with a much older/younger person but still have internalized shame about this? In dismantling our own prejudices it’s useful to be mindful and non-judgmental with our own spontaneous reactions. We exist in a society, where higher value is placed on being youthful, heterosexual, white, male, masculine, wealthy, beautiful, able-bodied, and various other attributes often not in our control. It’s impossible not to be impacted by this hierarchical oppressive system regardless of whatever privileged identities we may have. These external messages and subsequent societal stigmas get internalized and can begin operating without our conscious awareness. Allowing enough ongoing space to see our own prejudices, replacing judgment with curiosity and compassion, is an essential aspect to transforming these automatic beliefs. With this increased awareness we can

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take different supportive actions and be good allies for other causes because in the end—it’s true—we’re not free until all of us are free. We need to work together to dismantle all systems of oppression, not just homophobia and heterosexism. We need to become a more compassionate and supportive community.

BIGOTRY BEGETS BIGOTRY Common negative stereotypes for younger gay adults in intergenerational relationships include that they: have daddy issues, are subservient, needy, poor, flaky, immature and in it for the money and/or status gains. Conversely, negative stereotypes for those who are older include that they: are immature, cradle-robbers, perverse, dominant/controlling, paying for it, manipulative and jaded. These stereotypes, like most do, provide a black/white and simplistic justification for judging others. It puts each person in an age-disparate relationship into categories that are two-dimensional and easily ridiculed, regardless of their actual accuracy. As gay men, we have been the recipients of such devaluation and can end up do-

ing this to others who are dissimilar to ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes bigotry begets bigotry as we attempt to redirect prejudices laid at our doorstep onto others. Healing and growing as a community requires us to acknowledge this and work to eradicate ALL forms of oppression, ageism and adultism included. More positive stereotypes and yet still a two-dimensional perspective about younger adults would highlight that they contribute a fresh/newer perspective on issues, have increased energy, curiosity, playfulness and passion for life while middle-aged and older adults may more frequently provide support, mentorship, history, groundedness, security and protection. In reality we are all a lot more three-dimensional than this. For example, a younger adult guy might have a higher income, less of a libido, more stability and more emotional depth than his older partner. An older guy might be full of life, energy and passion than his younger partner. Even if there are certain qualities that fall neatly into a stereotypical box, this doesn’t mean that all other qualities do or that there is

> > I N T E R G E N E R AT I O N A L R E L AT I O N S H I P S < <

differences, even if they grew up in different generational circumstances. Another quality essential for all relationships, regardless of age, is the ability to communicate our needs, have conflict and resolve conflict adequately. Practicing good communication, asGOOD COMMUNICATION serting needs and resolving conRelationships work best when flict can deepen intimacy and all parties involved share are the skills required for an core values, not identiLTR, whatever the ages of cal ages. Helpful core Relationships those in a relationship. values can include work best when loyalty, dependability, kindness/compassion, SOCIETAL all parties involved and commitment to a STIGMA share core values, relationship. We all have How do those in agenot identical ages. the need for sharing exdisparate relationships periences with someone fend off societal stigma who has similar interests/ about their age differences? experiences and importing/ Here are a few tips. exporting these with someone who is dissimilar. Often, whichever of these • Allow people in your life enough time to needs are primarily met in an intimate get to know your partner(s) and see for relationship, the other needs are met in themselves the value it has, given that other relationships. they are respectful enough in the process. Those in age-disparate relationships • Set boundaries where you need to. might have more things in common than Require that others treat you and your something automatically unhealthy about this dynamic if it does. It might work very well or good enough for their relationship depending on the circumstances and it also might evolve over time.

partner(s) with dignity and respect. • Create your own support system if you need to. Chosen family is just that, chosen. • Recognize the intersections of oppressive systems and work to be a good ally for other oppressed groups. • Don’t assume all objections to your relationship are based on ageism/adultism. Make sure loved ones aren’t concerned for you based on unhealthy characteristics in your relationship, not based on age differences, that need to change and/or end. • Make sure to spend enough time dedicated to enjoying your relationship and all that it has to offer. • See a therapist trained in doing gay couples work and with intergenerational relationships if you need extra support. James Guay, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mft39252), is a psychotherapist for individuals and couples at his West Hollywood office specializing in affirmative LGBTQ health and well being. www.LivingMoreFully.com, 310-405-0840.

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THEROSTOWREPORT

THE END OF ENDA

uly was another excellent month in the annals of the splendiferous GLBT civil rights movement. Following our High Court marriage victory on June 26, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission determined that sexual orientation is a form of illegal “discrimination...because of sex” under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. A week later, a whole bunch of House Democrats introduced the successor to the Employment Nondiscrimination Act, a bill called the Equality Act which will officially add sexual orientation to Title VII and other federal nondiscrimination laws. I know, that was a dense paragraph. But filled with happy news nonetheless. The horrible ENDA is finally dead, yay! (As loyal readers know, I have long hated this doomed and anachronistic proposal.) And we are at last working towards the obvious goal of simply adding gay men and lesbians to the long list of other groups long covered by existing law. Hey. There's no chance the Equality Act will pass a GOP-led Congress. But at least we're working towards a real end to discrimination rather than a half-assed piece of...did I mention I never liked ENDA? As for the EEOC, this is the government agency in charge of enforcing Title VII. So while we wait to be formally added to the law’s coverage against workplace bias, it’s nice to know that we will be able to make a strong case in federal court whenever we find ourselves bruised and battered by mean bosses. And—on a totally unrelated note—how about that guy who killed the lion? Can anyone be more despicable? The tragedy particularly hit home because

How was Pride this year anyway? Did you have fun? I live in Austin where organizers seem to schedule the pride festival at random every year and then keep the date a secret until someone lets the cat out of the bag one day in advance. I just checked. It’s August 29. Only a few weeks away. I’d better get my rainbow boa dry cleaned right away. the lion had a name, and because everyone in the press agreed that the poor animal was not just any lion, but a “beloved” lion. “Beloved lion, Cecil, beheaded by horrible American dentist” sounds a lot worse than “hunter kills lion.”

FIRST EAT ALL THE LAWYERS

’ve been cruising for LGBT news this morning, and I was lured into a sideshow about a two-year-old boy who has become enamored with the local personal injury lawyer who he sees on TV. According to his mother, he stops and becomes fixated on the screen whenever this guy’s commercials are on. For his birthday, she acquired a life-size cardboard cutout of the lawyer, and got a cake with the lawyer’s face portrayed in icing. The little boy was reportedly

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delirious with joy, and kisses the cutout at night before bed. I know it’s not LGBT news. Or is it? I know many of you guys have a few bizarre childhood obsessions still lurking in the recesses of your closets. Vacuum cleaners anyone? At any rate, I also read a piece about a crazy knifewielding zealot who stabbed six people at the Jerusalem pride parade before someone took him down. First, it’s lucky he wasn’t in the U.S. where he could have substituted an AK47 for his blade. Second, this guy served 10 years in prison for a similar antigay attack and just got out three weeks ago! I don’t think he killed anyone, but let’s just throw away the key this time. [Ed. Note: Sadly, right before this issue went to press, one of the victims, a 16-year-old girl, died of her stab wounds].

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

peaking of crazies, I was also reading about gay bashers running around the Starbucks in West Hollywood calling people “faggot.” I thought of you all, dear readers of THE FIGHT, and wished I could have been there to throw iced caramel macchiatos down the seat of their pants and hit them in the heads with a rolled up copy of the New York Times. I would have too! The sad thing of course is that we can never pass legislation to outlaw hatred, nor bring a court case to overturn prejudice. These we must quietly confront on the slow road to love and understanding. (Yawwwwn.) Oh what? Hi there, yes.

WHY CAN’T CAIT TRANSITION TO THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY?

ave you watched Cait Jenner’s TV show? I’m sorry. I admire Cait’s public transition as much as the next loyal member of the GLBT community, but that doesn’t mean I have the slightest interest in watching her get dressed and run around and talk to people or whatever. I’m a big fan of “Top Chef” and “Amazing Race” and quite a few other reality shows. (I love the guys who sell real estate.) But spare me the

PHOTO COURTESY OF AUSTINPRIDE.ORG

>> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

> > E N D A , L A W Y E R S , B E C A R E F U L , C A I T A N D T H E D E M O C R AT I C P A R T Y, B A D M O N K E Y < <

ones where nothing happens and people just hang out and bicker. Speaking of Cait, Mel and I watched the ESPYs at our neighborhood gay bar the other night (Cait won an award of some sort) and we were shocked when they gave best female athlete honors to some unknown kick boxer rather than Serena Williams. Say what? They also gave a best male athlete prize to NBA championship loser LeBron James rather than to the horse that won the Triple Crown. We had never watched the ESPYs before, and don’t think we ever will again. That’s like giving the Best Actress Oscar to Melissa McCarthy for “Tammy.” I have the vague feeling that I stole that line from someone, but it might have just been something I said at the bar at the time, so I’m keeping it. “Tammy,” after all, was one of

the worst movies I’ve seen in recent history.

BAD MONKEY

o, I was pleased to read about a gay woman who won $100,000 from UPS after putting up with years of abuse from a Bible thumping supervisor. According to my legal muse, NYU law professor Art Leonard, Tameeka Roberts was plagued with antigay lectures and attacks from her boss, who was never sanctioned for his behavior even though she repeatedly complained through channels. The company was eventually ordered to pay up based on statutes in New York that prohibit gay bias in the workplace. Among other things, the supervisor put the “bash” in gay bashing by deliberately knocking a bunch of packages

on her head. I also saw that a former Navy Seal turned CIA contractor has complained about antigay harassment during a recent stint in Afghanistan. I suppose it struck me because you don’t usually see macho mercenary soldiers in the workplace discrimination news, now do you? Among other things, his CIA buddies changed his code name from “Bad Monkey” to “Gay Gay.” They also made him walk back towards the base in 120 degree heat although they eventually came back with the truck and picked him up. Finally, the group used homophobic slurs and laughed dismissively while watching news coverage of the Supreme Court’s marriage ruling. I’m sympathetic, but I also think our Seal may have been naive if he expected respect-

ful workplace behavior from his presumably sophomoric comrades in arms. That said, the 120 degree hike was a bit much. According to ABC news, Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Burbank) is going to look into the case. I’m rereading the last paragraph and it sounds as if I’m blaming the Seal for putting himself in an inherently homophobic situation, doesn’t it? Sort of like blaming a young girl for bad things that happen when she goes up to a guy’s hotel room in a skimpy dress after drinking until one in the morning. But I’ve always blamed that girl. Not for the dress or the drinking. But for going up to the hotel room. Yes, yes. I know it’s never supposed to be her fault. Nothing justifies rape. Nothing excuses antigay language. Still, you know what I mean. n

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> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

DADDY Issues

Dr. Ralph Mayer on being a gay dad, intergenerational relationships and his budding acting career. BY MA RK A RI EL | PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNI NGHAM

e is a doctor and he plays one on TV. To say that Los Angeles based obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Ralph Mayer is a man of many hats would be a gross understatement. In addition to his expertise in woman’s heath issues, Dr. Mayer also specializes in anti-aging medicine, trans hormone care and STDs. A gay man—previously married to a woman—Dr. Mayer is also a television host and actor. You may have seen him on “The Doctors,” or more recently on the popular web series “Child Of The 70s.” In an interview with THE FIGHT Dr. Mayer talks about being a gay dad, his involvement with PrEP, intergenerational relationships and his budding acting career. Dr. Mayer, how was the coming out process with your ex-wife and children? My ex-wife is an amazing woman. She was very understanding and we tried to do an alternative thing. But ultimately she said she couldn’t handle me having men outside the marriage. We divorced shortly thereafter. The kids—two boys— were about 2 and 5 at the time. The children were so little at the time that me being gay is just what it is. My ex-wife and I have a wonderful relationship now and have been committed to raising these boys in a loving environment. They are 17 and 20 now—one just graduated and is going to UCI—the other is a junior at UC Berkeley. Was your marriage an attempt to live as a heterosexual man? My father was so mean about gays that I had a strong fear of gays and feared that I could not be a successful, worthwhile person if I was gay. So I stayed “straight” and married for 10 years. 2 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

What field of medicine interested you when you first started your studies? My goal in medical school was to be a plastic surgeon. however, I hated my surgery rotation at UCLA and decided to go where I felt the camaraderie and entered OB/GYN residency at Cedars Sinai. I then did a fellowship in a surgical sub-specialty of Gynecology called Urogynecology. I do bladder control and pelvic surgery for women. I also own and operated clinics for low-income women and children.

women a lot so I’m well versed in menopause hormone therapy, which is basically the same as treating a trans female. For myself—I have been dabbling in male hormones, growth hormone, HCG etc for anti-aging purposes for many years. Prior to age 35 and now I’m 51—I never believed in fillers and hormones. I love when my clients now ask to look just like me! I do really good work with hormones fillers and botox. I like my face to be able to move, just not too much. I also pride myself on working with populations that others tend to dismiss. For many years I had a large practice of HIV poz women who have very special needs.

“I love dad/son role How did you get involved with PrEP? play and working with PrEP came onto my radar about two years ago. I did my research and knew a great therapist came to that I was something that I was interestbe able to listen to my own ed in doing for myself. After beginning it my life changed. It was the first time internal compass and dismiss that I got an HIV test without having outside judgment. I am most extreme anxiety. An article in New comfortable with younger men. York magazine called it “guilt free sex” comparing PrEP to when birth control There is a light and fun and came out for women in the 1950s. Finally sex without worry! I loved it. Unfortunately spontaneous nature to I had to go off of PrEP because of the rare the interaction.” kidney function side effect.

When did you start getting involved with in anti-aging medicine and trans hormone care? The areas outside of specialty that I practice are things that I do for myself. I’ve had low thyroid for 20 years and love treating thyroid disorders. Also—being a gynecologist we get a lot of training with hormones. My Urogynecology practice deals with older

However, I am still a huge fan believe that it should be available to everyone. And I do my best to spread the word and even did my own PSA to advocate its use. Currently I am on the wait list for the study at UCLA for the three month injectable version. I think the most important thing about discovering PrEP was the understanding that positive people are the safe ones. I know this data isn’t fully out yet, but within the next year the research will be widely available. I call people that are

>> DR. RALPH MAYER <<

interviewed acting classes. I wound up at Brian Reise Acting Studios with Elizabeth MacDonald and haven’t looked back. I never sang again and have found my thing. My passion. How did your acting career begin, and where do you see it going? I just started submitting myself for student films. I started booking parts and filming. My first film was a student adaptation of a scene from Mad Men. I played Pete Campbell. It was a huge moment and I fell in love. This month I will be filming as a recurring guest star of the web series “Child Of The 70s.” I can’t say too much about the part but my character interacts intimately with Susan Olson (who played Cindy Brady on the Brady Bunch). I’m excited and nervous. It’s a big role! Will you leave the medical profession if acting turns into a full time job? Yes! I also do hosting. So perhaps my big break will come from something that combines medicine and acting. Day-time talk show? Infomercial host? What is your stance on intergenerational relationships? Do you see yourself as a “daddy?” One of my usernames online is DaddyDoc. I love dad/son role play and working with a great therapist came to be able to listen to my own internal compass and dismiss outside judgment. I am most comfortable with younger men. There is a light and fun and spontaneous nature to the interaction. The thing that I am most attracted to in a man is creativity. I like people who do good in the world and are creative and talented. I also like men that I have stuff in common with. I love crossfit and yoga. I love hiking. My dog Johnny (poodle mix) and I are at Runyon Canyon at least twice a week. I love music of all kinds. I play the piano and have music streaming in my house all the time. Are you currently in a relationship? I am currently single and dating.

positive and undetectable the new true negatives. There has never been a known transmission of the virus. Seems people have a hard time hearing this now but I think when this data becomes more available HIV stigma will be a thing of the past.

At what point did you realize you wanted to go into acting? Initially I never thought about going into acting... I sang as a kid and was studying voice. My voice coach wanted me to have more drama in my singing and I

Is there anything we haven’t asked you that you would like to share with our readers? I am also an artist and specialize in abstract art and bead jewelry. I’m very active on Instagram and want people to follow me there! AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 25

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THETRANSACTION >> TRANS PRIDE L.A. <<

TRANS PROTEST IN LOS ANGELES

he Los Angeles Trans community took the streets of Mid-town L.A. on July 24, to protest the recent brutal murders of two trans women during the course of one week. The victims are 66 year-old, KC Haggard of Fresno, Calif. and 25 year-old, India Clark of Tampa, Fla. Neither woman’s murder is being investigated by local police as a hate crime. The community is demanding justice for the victims and full equality for all trans people. Over 100 activists stopped traffic to demand dignity, equality and called for an end to anti-trans bigotry and violence. One of the lead organizers of the protest was Bamby Salcedo, President of the TransLatin@ Coalition. Trans women constitute 55 percent of LGBTQ homicide victims, according to the 2014 National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs report, and trans women of color are 50 percent of LGBTQ homicide victims.

FIRST ALL-TRANSGENDER MODELING AGENCY

he world’s first all-transgender modeling agency is scheduled to launch this summer in Los Angeles. Bangkok-based Apple Model Management has represented transgender girls since November, 2013. The new Los Angeles branch will be the first to represent transgender models exclusively. According to Apple Model Management, in the past years transgender people have become more and more accepted in many areas of

BAMBY SALCEDO, PRESIDENT OF THE TRANSLATIN @ COALITION

music, entertainment, fashion and commercial advertising due to big names like Aderet, Alexandra Billings, Lavern Cox, Isis King, Lea T. and Andrej Pejic, to name a few. As a result, Apple Model Management has opened the first of its kind, full transgender model division, with the goal of giving transgender models an international stage to work worldwide and to globally represent Thailand and South East Asia. "We see trans individuals as beautiful," LA director Cecilio Asuncion told the Advocate. "It's never a question of if they are women or men, it's about their passion and commitment to being the best possible models they can be."

Health Program offer: • Hormone therapy, including education and management. • Pre- and post-surgical care. • Trans-sensitive pap smears, pelvic exams and prostate exams. You have the benefit of knowing that their providers work as one team and under one roof, so if you need counseling, your doctor can consult with a Center therapist about your situation, just as they can consult with Center pharmacists, nutritionists, and other relevant staff about your unique needs. Their caseworkers can help you determine eligibility for medical and drug assistance programs if you lack insurance or have limited means. For more info call 323-993-7500.

Visit applemodels.com/transgender to learn more.

TRANS HEALTHCARE IN LA

he Los Angeles LGBT Center is Southern California's largest and most comprehensive provider of healthcare for transgender and gender non-conforming people. The warm and welcoming team of providers in their Transgender

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CENTER’S TRANSGENDER THERAPY GROUPS

truggling with your gender identity/expression? Struggling with how others respond to you? No matter where you fall on the gender continuum, the Center’s transgender therapy groups can help you. These two groups (trans-

gender male to female and transgender female to male) are for individuals who identify at various points along the gender spectrum (e.g. transgender, gender-queer, gender nonconforming). They offer a safe and therapeutic space where members can process their thoughts and feelings about relevant issues associated with gender. Some examples of discussion topics can include exploration of “coming out” challenges, exploring inquiries related to the process of transitioning, examining experiences of transphobia, identifying strategies for maintaining safety, and developing an identityaffirming support system. To schedule an intake meeting, where a counselor will help you determine if the group is right for you, call 323-860-5806.

FTM ALLIANCE OF LOS ANGELES

TM Alliance of Los Angeles is a communitybased organization dedicated to empowering the female-to-male transgender community, and to increasing the visibility and acceptance of transgender men in Southern California. They provide resources, support, and leadership opportunities to people assigned female at birth or in childhood who no longer feel that label is complete or accurate, as well as their significant others, families, friends, and allies. Through education, advocacy, and activism, the FTM Alliance of Los Angeles is committed to creating a society where everyone is free to choose and express their own gender. For more info visit www.ftmalliance.org.

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>> LEATHERMEN <<

Danny Cruz on “The Sex Workers Outreach Project,” escorting and testing your limits.

hile Danny Cruz’s foray into the world’s oldest profession may have started out simply as a mutually beneficial rental agreement (“I was 19. I traded companionship and the occasional thrill to a man who gave me a place to live for free...”) it has, over the past few years, turned into a passionate social and political mission statement. Cruz, 29, is the director of the Los Angeles chapter of SWOP (The Sex Workers Outreach Project), an “anti stigma, anti violence campaign.” “It focuses on the need for decriminalization of consensual sex work and the establishment of rights for sex workers instead of ‘rescue’ from the industry,” explains Cruz. “The key word in all of that is consent,” clarifies Cruz. “In Los Angeles, the mission statement is about choice. I want to offer those in the sex trade that love what they do resources to stay safe, healthy -mentally and physically -- and manage and improve their business. For those engaging in survival sex, being coerced or in sex work due to economic circumstance or lack of options, I want to empower them. Give them resources to be able to transition out of the industry into mainstream work. This means job opportunities, vo3 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

BY MARK ARI EL

cational or computer training, resume and interview skills, etc. It’s my job to figure out what people need and have pathways to connect with those resources.” In an interview with THE FIGHT Cruz discusses intimacy, repeat customers and broadening his “man horizons.” When and why did you decide to become an activist in this field? It started after I got fired from a really good job in NYC. The management found my [escort] ad and I was immediately fired. I had a hard time dealing with it, but working with sex worker led groups there gave me a place to start learning about the history of sex work and the kind of work sex work led harm reduction organizations are doing today. When I moved to Los Angeles a year ago, I learned the local chapter of SWOP had been mostly inactive except for a small group of women who met on an irregular basis. I decided to pick things back up and restart the local movement... My background is in medicine. I was trained in the army as a nurse. I’d like to use that knowledge to build health and mental wellness resources for sex workers here. I’m also working with an organization called HOOK Online that is a resource specifically for men in the sex

trade. Partnering with them, I’m trying to engage more guys in the conversation around decriminalization and rights. You work at a medical marijuana dispensary in WeHo, and you’re also a licensed nurse. How common is it for sex workers to have a “traditional” 9-5 job? I’d say it’s more common than you’d think. The people who have a mainstream job do it for stability. My 9-5 gives me health insurance and a place to be 4 days a week. When did you decide to make sex work a part time job? I went to escorting as a way to pay off debt. I’ve been doing that work for 7 years... Actually I was on and off for a while. It wasn’t till I moved to NYC and didn’t have a well paying job that I advertised more consistently. Then, one year, I got nominated for a Hookie award on Rentboy. That was the turning point. With the exposure, I got a little more business and my career went from there. Have you been in an intimate relationship since becoming a sex worker? I’ve had a few relationships. I tend to stay in casual hookup territory with most guys... Not everyone can handle their

>> DANNY CRUZ <<

boyfriend/partner having sex with other people as it is. If you add in being paid and your chances are slimmer. It takes a certain kind of guy to be okay with that. Usually they also have a history with the industry.

I live on repeat customers. There’s definitely a connection sometimes that is hard to ignore. Sometimes that’s just the feel of my cock. Sometimes it’s more.

Have you ever fallen in love with a client? I’ve never fallen How would you “I have a wide in love, but I’ve describe your range of people I see. formed special clientele? bonds with some I have a wide Most are too busy for the guys. Especially range of people dating scene. They know my longtime I see. Most are what they want and they regular clients. too busy for the There are men dating scene. call. I respect that. There’s a I’ve seen for the They know what certain honesty in it that last few years. they want and they We share a lot call. I respect that. you don’t find with of memories and There’s a certain honcasual hookups.” experiences. We esty in it that you don’t know a lot about each find with casual hookups. other. Our relationship just happens to be different. What is the age range? I’ve had clients as young as 23 and as Is there anything you will not do— old as 85. sexually—with a client? Everyone has limits. I have a few things Are they mostly repeat customers?

I don’t get into. I advertise my interests so that I can attract people with similar tastes. It’s worked so far, though I still get the occasional caller asking if I’m into scat play. (I’m not.) I love when people are clear about their needs and likes. Have you discovered anything about yourself—sexually—while with a client? In other words did anything awaken in you—like a certain type of kink—which you were not aware of before being in this profession? I definitely have. I’ve tested my limits. Learned how to be less selfish of a lover (unless I need to be). I’ve been able to broaden my man horizons. I used to go for one type of guy, but I learned how many different types of men I could get hard for. Are you on PrEP? I’ve been on PrEP for about 7 months. For more info on SWOP—go to Facebook.com/ swopla or twitter @SWOPLosAngeles. To reach Danny Cruz directly, email: LosAngelesSWOP@gmail.com.

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“The runaway train I found myself on was turning into the Daddy Express...”

>> MASCULINITY AND BROTHERHOOD <<

CHRISTIAN MITCHELL.

was humbled by the response, undeniably grateful and amazed it was all happening so fast. But as my porn train began careening down the tracks, I was blindsided by something I never expected... I was startled to suddenly have directors and photographers and...gulp... fans all calling me a DADDY! When the hell did I become a daddy? Wait a second, I don’t wear Dockers, I don’t have kids and I’m definitely not a slimy troll trying to buy the love of young twinks with BMWs. For God’s sake...I’m a bottom!!! I felt like those guys Maury Povitch makes take DNA tests, then opens the envelope and proclaims “Christian...you ARE the father!” The runaway train I found myself on was turning into the Daddy Express. Flash forward to earlier this year. I’m shooting on location with arguably

PASSING THE TORCH “Gay men of a certain age,” mentors and being confident in yourself and who you are. BY CH RISTIA N MITCH ELL

PHOTO BY JAMES FRANKLIN

lost count a long time ago how many times I’ve been asked what made me want to get into porn. The best answer I can give is that I was called to it. Not like in a creepy priest sort of way, but more like it was something I always felt destined to be part of. I’m an exhibitionist. I get off on seducing and arousing. I get fulfillment from enlightening and educating. I like being the one being watched. But the REAL motivator...the thing that eventually lit the fire under my butt to try porn was that fail-safe tactic of politicians and religions everywhere—good old fashioned fear. It wasn’t fear of rejection—or fear of disappointment—or even fear of failure. The horror I faced was that I’d get... TOO OLD and forever regret letting the opportunity pass me by! The clock was ticking. I needed to hop on the train before it left the station. The twinks were twinking, and many of my longtime porn idols my same age were starting to—gasp—retire! So about two and half years ago I made the leap. And the experience has exceeded my expectations. Within weeks of submitting my first application, Hot House flew me to San Francisco and cast me in a Club Inferno movie. Raging Stallion was next, then Titan. I

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the most prolific porn directors alive today, Joe Gage. He’d cast me as one of his Joe Gage Men in the latest installment of his blockbuster “Dad Goes...” franchise called “Dad Goes West.” One night as the cast and crew were eating dinner, the conversation drifted into discussion about how the AIDS crisis literally wiped out an entire age group of gay men...right in the prime of life. We talked about how we were robbed of the wisdom they could have shared with us, the younger men following in their footsteps. We lost mentors. We lost role models. We lost leathermasters and drag mothers and an entire spectrum of wonderful men and the examples they could have set about being confident in yourself and who you are. We lost our gay Daddies. But as the years have passed a whole new generation of 40+ gay men now find themselves populating the age gap left in the wake of this horrible disease. Our on-set chef put it best... “This daddy thing is like a hot new trend no one’s seen before. It’s cool, cuz we’re the IN thing!” With Chef’s simple words, my calling became clearer than ever. We, those “gay men of a certain age” are now stepping into our predecessors’ shoes. We’ve been passed the torch to continue the work they were pulled away from doing. I was now the same age and ...even older...than many of my idols, my role models, my mentors and my kind nurturing older lovers. I could feel their love swelling inside my heart from heaven. So get the cameras rolling, get the action going... It’s time to step up to the plate and make all gay Daddies in heaven proud. See ya in the movies!

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 33

“My philosophy is to customize a “In years past, rejuvenating meant treatment plan based on going under the knife. Most results were my patients’ needs using not natural-looking, which may have been a turn-off for men,” states Dr. Karlsberg. the most effective, least “I like to think of facial rejuvenation as restoring a patient’s face or appearance invasive, and most to his own youthful look. That being said— cost-effective some patients have underdeveloped features tools.” or asymmetries, which can benefit from aug-

>> MASCULINITY AND BROTHERHOOD <<

mentation (such as an underdeveloped chin).” For men over 40—reveals Dr. Karlsberg—the most common requests deal with repressing facial wrinkles, drooping, or loss of youthful facial contour. “Loss of volume in the midface is often a sign of aging, and tends to impart a tired look to the face. Fortunately we now have very effective and long-lasting fillers that can be used, in experienced hands, to restore a more youthful, less tired shape to the aging face,” says Dr. Karlsberg. Beyond fillers, which restore youthful contours to the face, relaxing agents such as Botox and Dysport are used to treat hyperactive or overly active muscles that tend to produce wrinkles. “The most common application of this would be to scowl or worry lines between the brows.” When asked how he finds the right balance between looking youthful—without it being obvious that a man had work done— Dr. Karlsberg states that “the best results are produced by a physician who has an artistic sensibility and well-rounded expertise to create a natural and aesthetically-pleasing look. A physician who possesses a broad array of tools and experience can best achieve that subtle, natural look for each individual.” “Patients should be careful when shopping—don’t look for the ‘best deal’ on your filler, botox, or laser procedure. The more important factor is who you choose to perform the procedure,” says Dr. Karlsberg. Aside from facial restoraDR. PETER tion—The Karlsberg Center for KARLSBERG Restorative Dermatology offers CoolSculpting and other non-invasive body-sculpting procedures. Other treatments include MiraDry to treat hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating), Fraxel skin resurfacing, and VersaPulse laser treatment for eliminating broken capillaries. “I have been performing laser and facial rejuvenation procedures for over 20 years,” states Dr. Karlsberg. “It was an integral part of my training as a resident, not something I learned at a weekend crash-course. I have trained many physicians and published articles in the area of facial rejuvenation.” “I really enjoy taking time with my patients to hear their aesthetic concerns,” says Dr. Karlsberg. “My philosophy is to customize a treatment plan based on my patients’ needs using the most effective, least invasive, and most cost-effective tools, and my practice offers a wide array of services and products to help reach the optimal outcome.”

SKIN DEEP Dr. Peter Karlsberg, voted the “Best Dermatologist” in Ventura County for the last five years in a row, on the latest trends in men’s cosmetic rejuvenation.

BY VICTO R MELA MED

ccording to Dr. Peter Karlsberg, a board-certified dermatologist, dermatologic and laser surgeon in private practice in Ventura, CA, cosmetic rejuvenation has become a rising trend among men over the past few years.

“All people, men included, want to look young for their age,” says Dr. Karlsberg in an interview with THE FIGHT. “Many people in today’s social environment are looking for second partners in life after divorces or separations. Others are looking to more effectively compete in a job market that favors youthful appearances.”

3 4 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com 34

To set up an appointment with The Karlsberg Center for Restorative Dermatology call (805) 677-1600. To learn more about the various cosmetic procedures offered at The Center visit: www.karlsbergderm.com.

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 35

>> PALM SPRINGS <<

Palm Springs

MOD SQUAD

In just 90 minutes, discover what makes Palm Springs the Mecca for mid-century modern architecture. BY O RLY LYO N N E

alm Springs is the perfect destination for those seeking a hip, architecturally cool city to explore. For over 100 years, artists, designers, architects and Hollywood stars have been drawn to this corner of the Southern California desert making the city a hot bed of creativity. Palm Springs Mod Squad offers architecture and design tours of the city. Not to be missed is The Essential Palm Springs Tour. In just 90 minutes, discover what makes Palm Springs the Mecca for mid-century modern architecture and still have time to relax by the pool!

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Tours are helmed by designer and architectural aficionado, Kurt Cyr. A natural showman, Kurt shares his intimate knowledge of the city, making each tour an exciting architectural journey. With a maximum of just five individuals per tour, Palm Springs Mod Squad tours are intimate, personalized experiences. See what customers are saying on Tripadvisor and Yelp.

“SUPER INFORMATIVE AND INTERESTING!” “The 90 minutes flew by! Kurt is very

engaging and knowledgable... I’m relatively familiar with much of the architecture in KURT CYR Palm Springs but every stop had something new that I didn’t know.” —Ace and Spade, Vancouver, Canada

“GREAT TOUR—GREAT TOUR GUIDE!” “The tour was perfectly paced so we stayed very engaged, but also very well timed so we could take in all the fantastic sights and information. Kurt’s knowledge of the Palm Springs area, its history, and his insights on the ‘story behind the story’ really makes you feel as though you ‘lived’ the experience as opposed to just passing through.” —David C., Westlake Village, CA Tours are $60 per person and run daily. Book your tour online at PSModSquad.com.

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>> LEATHERMEN <<

YOUR BEST LIFE

Men’s health: top solutions for common concerns. Dr. Lance Walsh on the treatment of enlarged prostate, low testosterone levels, sexual dysfunction and more.

BY VICTO R MELA MED

r. Lance Walsh, the founder of Walsh Urology Associates in Rancho Mirage, specializes in treatment of enlarged prostate (benign prostatic hypertrophy, or BPH), prostate cancer, as well as sexual dysfunction. In an interview with THE FIGHT Dr. Walsh talks about various health concerns facing older men, treating erectile dysfunction and the benefits of the UroLift (r) System Procedure for patients with enlarged prostates. Dr. Walsh—what are the most common health issues men face when growing older? Common urologic issues men have as they age include Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy (BPH), prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction (ED), and hypogonadism (Low T). The most common problem 3 8 TTH HEE FFIIGH www.thefightmag.com 38 GH TT || www.thefightmag.com

is BPH, a non-cancerous enlargement of the prostate that occurs as men age. The enlarged prostate presses on and blocks the urethra, causing bothersome urinary symptoms. It is a common condition—affecting approximately 37 million men in the United States alone. Approximately one in four men experience BPH-related symptoms by age 55, with 90 percent of men over 70 symptomatic. BPH is much more common than prostate cancer. BPH significantly impacts quality of life. Symptoms include sleepless nights and urinary problems. BPH can cause loss of productivity, depression and decreased quality of life. Early treatment is important. The sooner it is treated, the sooner patients can increase their quality of life. In addition, if BPH is left untreated, the condition can worsen over time and cause permanent bladder damage.

Do you find that men are reluctant to seek treatment when their issues relate to sexual health? Most men want to have an active sexual life. However, when they have difficulty achieving an erection, they become anxious about their sexual performance and may avoid sexual activity. Often times, men just aren’t aware of the treatment options that are available. I tell my patients that they will be able to achieve an erection with treatment. The treatment options include oral medications like Viagra, Levitra, Stendra, Cialis, and Staxyn. There is also a vacuum erection device. Trimix is a medication that is injected into the erectile bodies of the penis. Finally, when all else fails, there is an inflatable penile prosthesis. The penile prosthesis has been available for 40 years and patient and partner satisfaction are over 95%. The prosthesis is inserted through a small incision in the scrotum. They procedure is done in the operating room at the hospital and typically takes less than an hour. Fortunately, it is covered by most insurance companies, including Medicare. How would you define erectile dysfunction? Is it “healthy” for a man to expect the same sexual stamina he had in his twenties? More specifically—is a less active libido something older men should just accept? Although erectile dysfunction suggests a total inability to achieve an erection, it also includes problems achieving or maintaining a firm erection, or the tendency to only have brief erections. While erectile dysfunction and decreased libido is more common with age, it is a condition that is treatable and is not something older men should just accept. How common is testosterone deficiency in older men? Hypogonadism, or “Low T” as it is called, is more common in men as they age. It is a syndrome that is associated with low testosterone levels that are measured as part of a blood test. If a man has low testosterone, and sexual, psychological and physical symptoms, he may have “Low T.” Sexual side effects include low libido, erectile dysfunction, difficulty achieving an orgasm, and decreased spontaneous erections. Non-sexual/psychological symptoms include diminished energy, fatigue, depressed mood, impaired cognition, and reduced motivation. Physical signs include osteoporosis, decreased muscle mass, increased body fat, anemia, and insulin resistance.

>> DR. LANCE WALSH <<

dure typically takes one hour Many men suffer from or less. It is the only FDA sexual health problems cleared treatment with and can benefit from While erectile clinical data demontreatment. There are dysfunction and strating preservation several different of sexual function ways to provide decreased libido is more -- 0% ejaculatory or testosterone supcommon with age, it is a erectile dysfuncplementation, intion. No instances cluding gels, shots, condition that is treatable of new, sustained and an implant. The and is not something erectile or ejaculaTestopel implant tory dysfunction were is covered by most older men should just observed in the study. insurances, including accept. It is a first line treatment Medicare. It is placed by that gets men off of their a simple office procedure medications and allows them through a 4mm incision in the to avoid major surgery. It involves no hip area. It provides for 3-4 months cutting, heating, or removal of prostate tisof steady testosterone replacement. sue. Patients experience immediate results, rapid symptom relief, recover from the What is the UroLift System proceprocedure quickly, and return to their normal dure? Who is it suitable for? What are routines with minimal down time (patients the side effects, if any? can return to normal activity within days). The UroLift System is a breakthrough treatment for patients with an enlarged Is there anything we haven’t asked prostate. It is an outpatient procedure, peryou that you would like to share with formed in office setting or outpatient surgery our readers? center under local anesthesia. The proce-

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Don’t wait to seek treatment. There are solutions to these problems. Please call our office to schedule an appointment 760-3467191. You can find out more information about our services at www.walshurology. com and request an appointment online. We look forward to meeting with you! DR. LANCE WALSH

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AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 39

THEJOYSTICK

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

>> VIDEO GAMES <<

HIS LEGACY On a brighter note, continuing his legacy... We would like to take this time to discuss one of the consoles shrouded in cloak and dagger secrecy that he and Nintendo have been working on before his passing. The Nintendo NX. Iwata believed that the next step for Nintendo was to bring their hardcore gamers back. From Super NES to the Wii, Iwata and the company has been pushing their innovation to the forefront without hesitation, but their hardcore fan base has been migrating elsewhere to fulfill their needs. And now, it seems Nintendo might be hearing our call.

THE NINTENDO NX

GAME MASTER SATORU IWATA Satoru Iwata, a legend in the gaming world, died of cancer last month at the age of 55. He helped craft classic games like Pokemon, the Kirby series, Smash Bros.—and even the cult classic Earthbound... BY JO SEPH A RELLA N O

ame Over. The end. The final stage. You try your hardest to get that last coin... beat that last boss. Or even beat the last level. In videogames losing a life isn’t such a big deal. You just start again, or hell, grab that 1up mushroom and BAM, extra life. We could only wish that real life was this easy... But for Satoru Iwata, there wasn’t a one-up waiting for him—sad face. Satoru was a legend in the gaming world. A real personality filled with wonder, innovation, and pure imagination that help bring us some of the most beloved video games and characters to life. Why is he so important you ask? Well.. Satoru was a businessman of the people... we the gamers. Starting as a game developer, then migrating to the prestige status of becoming the next President of Nintendo, he was a man who believed video games were and could be for everyone. He helped craft such classic games like Pokemon, the Kirby series, Smash Bros. and even the cult classic Earthbound. This is, but a fraction of his gifts he left with us. Satoru was also known for his sense of humor which was stylish and quirky, charming, and always struck a chord with fans. And with us. He will always be remembered. 4 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

So what do we know about NX? Here are the top 3 things that we found very... intriguing. 1.) The graphical capabilities and the games seem to be the focus considering that PS4 and Xbox One have beautiful HD graphics and a strong software lineup on all fronts. It seems that NX could finally very well show its true feathers and come out swinging with exclusives and third party support. 2.) Two of the games announced for NX are Dragon Quest X and XI. Before switching, SquareEnix released FFVI, Chrono Trigger, Mystic Quest, and many more classics making the SNES a goldmine for RPG's and adventure games. 3.) It could be a portable OR be used as a portable gaming device...Say what!? This, like the Nintendo 3DS could allow the player to take their gaming on the go and be able to switch between stationary and mobile when most convenient. While the Wii U offers the split screen possibility, the Nintendo NX could very well be a system that allows multiple games to simultaneously be released on both. With these hints and clues, we can only speculate and scratch the surface of what Nintendo has up its sleeve. But one thing is certain, They could very well be back on their A game to kick some major ass... n

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 41

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY

THESHARE >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

LONG TERM RECOVERY

With summer in full swing, we asked some folks from the recovering LGBT community what their life is like after achieving ten years or more of continuous clean and sober time. DANNY SCHURR

COURAGE TO GROW

CLEARER CHOICES

My experience at 12 years of recovI wouldn’t have ery is that my choices are clearer. I’m anything right now, if enough today. I’m enough for me. I not for my sobriety. don’t need anything to enhance the Ten years ago I was moment. I’m more committed at living in a house that enjoying my recovery. Each day I fall was uninhabitable, I more in love with this concept of being was not able to keep clean and sober. I have discovered GLEN HILL a job. I thought the intimacy. That has been the key to my idea of a nice dinner recovery—not only sexual intimacy, was shopping at a but just intimacy from all angles of my life. I never realized how I Rite-Aid. I didn’t have was missing all of that. Those are the things that keep my sobriety any close friends. I alive, but the things that support it are, I go to meetings, I have a didn’t have any skills sponsor, I have sponsees—those things support my being clean beyond breathing and sober. I love it. I’m not ashamed of anything in my life today. and barely eating. —Glen Hill, sober since July, 2003. Sobriety and working with other alcoholics has given me the courage to grow and become a functioning member of society. I learned how to I’m amazed at achieving 10 years of recovlove and be loved—I never knew how to be loved. And I learn ery. When I first started this journey, I just to resolve issues in my life without slamming a door or walkwanted to get a year and to prove to myself ing away. Today I am of service to others, and even when I’m that I could do this, and then my life just exhausted, life is good. got better and better, so I just kept doing it —Danny Schurr, sober since September, 2004. and one day at a time turned into ten years. Ten years ago I was living a seedy hotel/ ERIC STANLEY motel in the hood, I was hungry, I was dirty, I was tired and I remember being so miserMy life is completely differable and so done and having nobody left in my life and I actually ent from where my life was welcomed death into my life. My life is so different today. 10 years ago. Things are —Eric Stanley, sober since, August, 2005. much simpler. I thought my life was over and I thought my life would One of the most difficult—yet not be any fun after getmost rewarding - moments in ting sober, but my life is my life was when I acknowlmuch bigger than I ever edged my drinking problem and imagined. Amazing things decided to do something about happen on a daily basis. PATRICK MARKS it. By remaining sober for the It’s not about property or 29 years thereafter I have been prestige, it’s about who blessed with many friends who I really am as a person and being okay with that and loving are genuine and life experiences myself completely and being able to love others... that’s what that are unforgettable. ten years has brought me. PHIL L. —Phil L., sober since June, 1986. —Patrick Marks, sober since December, 2004.

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The Los Angeles LGBT Center thanks White House Office of National AIDS Policy and its director, Douglas Brooks.

n response to the National HIV/AIDS Strategy: 2020 released last month by the White House Office of National AIDS Policy, the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Health Policy Director Eric Gutierrez issued the following statement: “The White House’s National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS): 2020 accurately reflects the current public health realities and builds upon the latest advances in care and treatment to help form a smart and strategic action plan for the next five years. Since the last plan was released in 2010, there have been significant advancements in HIV treatment and prevention. Greater access to HIV testing, clinical care and life-saving drugs through the Affordable Care Act has been a game changer and the updated NHAS: 2020 smartly emphasizes full access to recent breakthroughs like pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP). It also rightly focuses on the communities most at-risk, particularly transgender women and gay/bisexual youth and men of color. Here in Los Angeles, 87% of those living with HIV are gay or bisexual men. “An AIDS-free generation is no longer a dream and the updated National HIV/AIDS Strategy: 2020 is an evidence-based and goal-driven blueprint that can help us realize that dream, but only if the ignorance, stigma and inaction that have helped fuel the epidemic are defeated. The Los Angeles LGBT Center thanks the White House Office of National AIDS Policy and its director, Douglas Brooks, for this updated action plan for America.” n

4 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 45

THEEVENT >> PHOTOS AND TEXT BY PAULO MURILLO <<

Faultline Celebrates One Year Under New Ownership

n Saturday, August 1, Jorge Usatorres, the new owner of the Faultline Bar in Silverlake celebrated his first anniversary since he purchased the bar last year. “It’s been a transformative time,” Usatorre told THE FIGHT. “The place has transformed and so have I. As in everything in life, there were challenges that I did not anticipate, but if you hold true to the path, it all straightens out and it becomes great.” For more information on the Faultline Bar, visit faultlinebar.com.

4 6 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 47

THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO << GROUPS

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight

SEE SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 SUNDAY, AUGUST 9

ONYX SOUTHERN CA/SOUTHWEST BAR NIGHT Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., LA, 4pm-8pm. Visit facebook.com/events/841144082629887. Come out and join the Men of ONYX and the men who love them as they celebrate the formation of their new chapter in Southern California and Southwest Region and meet them at their new home bar The Eagle LA. THURSDAY, AUGUST 13

DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN 30TH ANNIVERSARY AMC Universal Citywalk Stadium 19 & IMAX, 100 Universal City Plaza, 7:30pm-9:19pm. For tickets, visit tugg.com/events/15235. Promoted by DIVA: Diverse and Inclusive Visionary Artists, by Nelson Melegrito. One night only. Wear your favorite Material getups and win prizes. Seats are limited. $12.00 General admission. SATURDAY, AUGUST 15

TOM OF FINLAND SUMMER BBQ Tom of Finland Foundation, 1421 Laveta Terrace, LA, 2pm-5pm. RSVP at aidslifecycle.org/tomoffinland. AIDS/LifeCycle and Co-Host Team Payasos, invite you to celebrate their amazing accomplishment of raising over $100K for AIDS/LifeCycle 2015. Join the fun with BBQ, Beer, and Raffles from sponsors: OX Balls, Rough Trade Gear, WET Lube, Anheuser-Busch, and much more. Receive $20 OFF AIDS/LifeCycle 2016 Ride registration with promo code “TOM” at www.aidslifecycle.org/register RAVERRR SQURRRL Akbar, 4356 Sunset Blvd, LA, 9pm-2am. Visit facebook. com/events/884044278350846 for updates. Get ready to get your rave on. In the front room you get your favorite glitter ponies David Banjela & SF’s notorious Suppositori Spelling. In the back you have DJ Medic, Mateo Segade and Trevor Sigler keeping your ears hydrated. The talented Dusti Cunningham will be capturing the moments. CABARET CON-SENSUAL: DOS LA MOTHER, 1627 N Gower St., LA, 8pm-1am, Get tix at cabaretconsensualdos.bpt.me. Here’s a body-positive, sex-positive, cabaret fundraiser for the non-profit, More Than “No” featuring burlesque, dance, stand-up, songs and a night to champion consent-culture and feel sexy in your own skin. TRAUMA: OLDSCHOOL FOR THE HEADSTRONG LOT 613, 613 Imperial St., LA, 9pm-4am. Visit wantickets.com/Events/187999/Trauma-Oldschool-For-TheHeadstrong/. This a 16 year reunion event featuring a long list of guest DJs. Step into the time machine and be taken back to a time where the best times in the scene were

4 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

in the City of Angeles nestled deep underground. MADONNA/ MICHAEL JACKSON BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE Artesia Bar, 1995 Artesia Blvd, Redondo Beach, 5pm2am. Visit artesiabar.com. South Bay’s ONLY Gay & Lesbian spot is hosting the Annual Royalty of Pop Party, in honor of the August birthdays of the Queen and King of Pop Music. Join the Moonwalk Challenge, Vogue-off, Costume Contest, with Happy Hour till 9pm and beats by DJ HeadTurama. No cover. FRIDAY, AUGUST 21

BEARRACUDA LA Faultline Bar, 4216 Melrose Ave., LA, 9pm. For more, visit: bearracuda.com. Bearracuda LA presents: 6 Night Stand at Faultline! You get rotating DJs and beefy go-go boys. Photos and decor by Dusti Cunningham. Bearracuda goes on the road to Faultline for a 6 night stand! Every 3rd Friday till the end of the year, we’ll be partying in Silverlake with 100’s of guys. GROWLR BEAR DEN The Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd., NoHo, 9pm. Visit BulletBarLA.com. This is an official GROWLR App event, featuring DJ Manuelito with HOT DANCING BEARS! Show that you’re a GROWLR and Receive Happy Hour Prices. Sign up at GROWLrapp.com. NO COVER SATURDAY, AUGUST 22

OIL CAN HARRY’S DISCO NIGHT Oil Can Harry’s, 11502 Ventura Blvd., Studio City, 9pm-2am. For updates, visit facebook.com/ events/993327760732323. Join a party celebrating Studio 54’s final party on February 4, 1980. Disco Dress code: Glitter, Glam, Outrageous, Leathermen, Sexy, drama. THE 2015 L.A. TACO FESTIVAL Grand Park, 200 N. Grand Ave., LA. 12pm-7pm. For more info, visit latacofestival.com. The TACO FESTIVAL benefits Jovenes, Inc. when it makes its way to Grand Park. Enjoy food, music and togetherness in the heart of DTLA at the free, familyfriendly event. Stick around for The Big Proud Picnic at Grand Park’s Event Lawn. SUNDAY, AUGUST 23

QUEEN USA PAGEANT 2015 Arena, 6655 Santa Monica Blvd, LA, 7pm. For more Information: Call KARINA (213) 999-0456. The Imperial Court of Los Angeles & Hollywood Proudly Presents Queen U.S.A. Pageant 2015. Door Ticket Sale: VIP Seats $30.00 / Gen. Admission $ 20.00 Proceeds to Benefit: “Nicole Murray Ramirez Scholarship Fund.” The Imperial Court of Los Angeles & Hollywood is a 501 C3 Non-Profit Organization.

GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org HIV MEDICAL & CASE MANAGEMENT “Smart Health LA” At Valley Community Healthcare In North Hollywood Offers HIV Testing And Medical Services Including Counseling And Medical Treatment. For Testing Call Brian at 818-301-6314; For Medical Services Call Gilbert at 818-301-6390. www.SmartHealthLA.com POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO editor@thefightmag.com POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 201-1561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. TRAVEL

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m. CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS

LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

FRIENDS TRAVEL www.FriendsTravel.com Gay Owned & Operated, Since 1985.

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

12 STEP GROUPS

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www.greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org LA ROWING www.larowing.org DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area. SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org WORSHIP

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042 HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038 WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

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AUG AUGUST UST 2015 2015 || THE THE FFIIGH GHTT 49 49

THEFINALFIGHT >> H E T E R O N O R M AT I V I T Y <<

TYRONE RONTGANGER

THE OTHERS

Tyrone Rontganger on heteronormativity, the “second coming out” and Folsom Europe’s first fetish classical music concert. B Y TYRO N E RO N TG A N G ER

ur gay world has been developing and growing at a speed which only a few years ago would never have seemed possible. These days we live together openly, demand the same salaries, expect the same treatment in shops and businesses as everyone else, and in the USA and in some other countries around the world, we can even marry and raise families. We have finally become “normal.” We’re so “normal” today that many of us have forgotten that until only a few decades ago homosexual men were persecuted: we were imprisoned, “medically” fixed by painful and demeaning brain operations, targeted for beatings on the streets, outlawed or even murdered. Even those of my generation, who had their “coming out” in the metropolises of the 1980s have long forgotten how we danced all night in various gay bars and clubs, but yet could still be arrested for causing a public disturbance if we kissed another guy in public or held hands walking down the street.

EVERYONE ELSE Many of us are simply finding our way through everyday life, doing our best not to stand out, and paving the way for our humble futures. Not because we are necessarily afraid of anti-gay backlash—which, let’s not fool ourselves, still exists—but because being like “Everyone Else” has made our homosexuality a normality. And 50 0 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com 5

the good thing about being like Everyone Else is that once you’ve actually made it and finally fit in, then those others who are “different” (not us, thank you very much) stand out like a sore thumb. We are part of the big gang, and now we too can point our fingers and wrinkle our noses at “The Others,” the gay minorities. You know them! The ones who “overdo” every simple thing and then strut around flaunting it. The butch dykes, guys in wigs and dresses, or the men in leather codpieces—those who stand out because they just don’t want to fit in to Everyone Else’s normality. So when Everyone Else says “eeew, look away!”, we look away, too.

STILL HIDING What started at the Stonewall Inn in New York on 28 June 1969 opened up the gates which within less than half a century eventually gave way to our sexual liberation and the chance to finally be like the everyone else that we had so desperately and so long wished for. But many of us either don’t know or don’t care that it was actually “The Others” who got the show rolling that night! When the police raided the bar and threatened to close it down, it was the drag queens who at first refused to cooperate, the butch dykes who started the punch-up and the guys in leather who came down the street in hordes to give support. They were the ones who finally, after thousands of years of oppression, were the first to literally hit back. I can’t speak for either the butch dykes or the pink drag queens and don’t even want to try. I can however speak

for the leather and fetish guys out there, and there are a great many of us, even some still hiding in the closet. They might live openly gay lifestyles, have that dreaded “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” confession behind them, but haven’t yet dealt with the hurdle “Friends, I wear leather!” and the frowns that sometimes come with it. On the leather and fetish scene, we refer to it as the “second coming out,” an event which often takes place years after we’ve already made the first big confession.

SEXY MUSICIANS Next month, in September, us “Others” get to enjoy Folsom Europe—an annual BDSM and leather street fair held in Berlin, Germany. This year Folsom Europe in Berlin will include the world’s first fetish classical music concert—an assortment of classical music from Brahms to Beethoven, played by an international group of professional and sexy musicians in fetish for a strict dress-code fetish audience. It will most definitely turn into that orgy that Everyone Else associates with fetish, but not a cum-swapping orgy of whips and chains, but an orgy of the senses, hearing your favorite pieces played, seeing the instruments played by sexy fetish guys and feeling a distinctly unique sexual atmosphere. Sponsored by MrB, Europe’s favorite international store for leather clothing and accessories, it will also be a charity event. After a deduction of the costs, the profits will go entirely to charitable organizations. n Visit www.blf.de for details.

AUG UST 2015 | THE F I GH T 51

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