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THE CITY OF WEST HOLLYWOOD recognizes September as
NATIONAL RECOVERY MONTH National Recovery Month is a national observance sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (www.samhsa.gov). It is held every September to educate Americans that substance use treatment and mental health services can enable those with a mental and/or substance use disorder to live a healthy and rewarding life. The theme for National Recovery Month 2015 is Join the Voices for Recovery: Visible, Vocal, Valuable! highlighting the value of peer support in educating, mentoring, and helping others. Join us by the West Hollywood Recovery Center for a
SUBSTANCE USE TREATMENT SERVICES COMMUNITY POP UP Substance use treatment services * Education/information materials Fun giveaways * Refreshments and snacks
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2015 10:00am-1:00pm 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
To find out more about local substance use services and programs: www.weho.org/services/social-services/substance-abuse-addiction-recovery or call the West Hollywood Social Services Division @ (323) 848-6510 6 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com
When “just a few drinks” had us cancelling plans,
I CALLED.
When is the right time to get help for addiction? Now.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, call American Addiction Centers today. It’s free, it’s easy, it’s confidential, and treatment can start in just 24 hours.
To Learn More About How We Can Help Consultants available 24/7
Call 800.971.1589
AmericanAddictionCenters.com SEP TEMB ER 2015 | T H E F I GH T 7
THECONTENTS >> MORE TO COME <<
C O V E R S T O R I E S A N D F E AT U R E S
ROCKS 18 RECOVERY National Recovery Month
18
20
26
GRAY MYTH OF METH 20 THE Consumption Among Older Adults
30
38
CHI UNCHAINED 26 CHI LaRue On Rehab HEART 30 LONELY Finding A Home In Mindfulness HEALTHCARE 36 INTERGRATED Tarzana Treatment Centers ART OF SOBRIETY 38 THE Photographer John Arsenault
42 BREAKING THE PATTERN
Foundations Recovery Network
44 A SOBER MAN WALKS INTO A BAR Faultline’s Jorge Usatorres
46 WORK IN PROGRESS
American Addiction Centers
ON THE COVER JOHN ARSENAULT COVER PHOTO, MAIN TOC PHOTO AND FEATURE PHOTO BY: DUSTI CUNNINGHAM
DEPARTMENTS
12 THE CONTRIBUTORS The Talent 14 THE TALK Ellen Page 16 THE CITY Rentboy.com 24 THE ROSTOW REPORT Bear Grylls 48 THE PROFILE Rohini Goldstein 50 THE SHARE Local Sobriety 52 THE JOYSTICK Gaming 56 THE EVENT Out & About 59 THE COMMUNITY Local Spotlight
36
42 8 T H E F I GH T | www.thefightmag.com
44
46
60 THE CALENDAR Events 62 THE FINAL FIGHT Last Word
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THEEDITOR
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Tom Pardoe Eric Slayton Joe Faragher SOCIAL MEDIA Paulo Murillo Eric Slayton WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio >> IN THIS ISSUE <<
In recognition of National Recovery Month this issue of THE FIGHT focuses on topics related to addiction. In a candid interview with Tom Pardoe, Los Angeles based photographer John Arsenault talks about his traumatic childhood, drinking, drug use, suicide attempts, his art and 15 years of continued sobriety (“The Art Of Sobriety,” page 38). “It definitely has been a rollercoaster ride for me,” reveals Arsenault. “I was first introduced to AA and got sober when I was 15. But then went in and out of the program from the age of 15 to 22. That was a long time being a chronic relapser, doing it all different kinds of ways, and living with these false ideas about my creativity, or why I was drinking, or why I couldn’t get sober...” “Then when I got sober at 28— my sobriety allowed me to really go within,” says Arsenault. “I feel where my creativity comes from. It’s not from outside of me. When I was using and drinking it was definitely covered up. There were blocks in front of it. The process of getting sober, working through those blocks, really being honest, has also been a big part of my creativity.” “I make my recovery the num-
ber one thing in my life,” states Arsenault. “It comes before my marriage, my work, before everything. I have the life I have today because of my recovery. It’s about staying connected. Going to meetings, having a sponsor, and staying grounded. Showing up and being consistent is what it’s about for me. I know that I can’t do it all by myself. I know that I can get very complacent really fast.” Also in the issue director and drag personality Chi Chi LaRue, tells Paulo Murillo about the recent intervention that led to rehab where his journey in recovery began (“Chi Chi Unchained,” page 26). “My friends and family had to go through a pre-intervention, which I’m sure was tough,” reveals Larue. “They already had letters asking me if I would take this gift offered to me and my answer was yes-yes-yes to every letter. I was so ready and willing to go...” “Anything is possible,” says LaRue. “Look at me, I tried so many times to get sober and I hope this time it sticks. If you want to get help, help is waiting for you. Go to a [12-step] meeting and try it out. It can be very scary, but you’re definitely not alone in this mixed-up world of addiction.”
GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2015 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.
TheFightMag.com STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief
161 0T HTEH EF IGH T T| |A UGU ST 2014 F IGH www.thefightmag.com
For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001
S ep t e m be r is
NATIONAL RECOVERY MONTH Heroes in Recovery celebrates the heroic efforts of those who seek the addiction and mental health help they need without feeling ashamed or isolated. Help break the stigma by sharing your story. HeroesInRecovery.com Join the movement. Break the stigma. Share your story. Heroes in Recovery is proudly supported by Michaelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House and The Canyon at Peace Park. Call (866) 494.7787 for a confidential assessment.
SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 11
THECONTRIBUTORS >> WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS <<
PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. DUSTI CUNNINGHAM Los Angeles based photographer Dusti Cunningham grew up in a very clean single-wide trailer home in rural Kansas. His family didn’t own television so they watched tornadoes. None of his dogs were named Toto. Dolly Parton and his mother were his heroes, both wore wigs. His inspirations are gypsies, pirates, circuses, 1970s glamour, and the National Enquirer. www.dusticunningham.com. JOSEPH ARELLANO A stage and film actor from Bedford, Indiana, Joe has been involved in community events such as The Friendly House Luncheon, PATH, and
journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art. Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@ gmail.com.
Rostow
Arellano
Erdman
LA PRIDE. Joe has appeared in Titus Andronicus, Dark Side of the Moon, and Take Me Out. He also co-starred in the music video Hopeful Romantic, Hallmarks’ Holly’s Holiday, and other various short films. VICTOR MELAMED Victor Melamed began his
For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit
www.thefightmag.com
1 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
Lyonne
Melamed
Murillo
Cunningham
JEFFREY ERDMAN Los Angeles based attorney Jeffrey Erdman currently holds the title of Mr. Christopher Street West (CSW) Leather 2016. As an attorney, and a community activist, he is “more comfortable talking about other causes and people that I am talking about my own causes or myself.”
TOM PARDOE Broadway veteran, teacher, dancer, director and community activist, with specific ties to leather, sobriety, drag, and the performance folk, Tom Pardoe hails from Iowa, lives in West Hollywood, and has Rodriguez Pardoe stomped in Chicago, New York, and Phoenix. Tom is a marketing consultant at THE career in journalism writing FIGHT magazine. for the now-defunct Israeli gay magazine “Magaim.” He is currently working on a MANNY RODRIGUEZ novel based on a true story La Fuente Hollywood about a love affair between Treatment Center Executive two men on opposite sites of Director and Founder, Manny the Middle East conflict. Rodriguez, grew up in New Jersey and has worked as ORLY LYONNE a professional dancer and a Orly Lyonne is a freelance nightclub promoter.
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THETALK >> W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G <<
TRANS LIVES
“It really is a state of emergency. Your life should not be in danger simply for being who you are... I think the reasons why trans women experience so much violence... has to do with employment, LAVERNE COX housing, health care, etc, so we need to make sure that trans lives matter.” —Laverne Cox speaking with Robin Roberts on “Good Morning America” last month.
THAT’S BORDERLINE
BILLY CRYSTAL
THE HYPOCRISY “This is a perfect example of the hypocrisy of mainstream patriarchal culture and the government... I mean, is this really a ‘Homeland Security Issue?’ I don’t think so. A gay man in Brooklyn who happens to have a ‘rimchair’ is hardly the equivalent of someone on a commuter train with an AK-47. Years of undercover work and JUSTIN VIVIAN BOND untold amounts of city and federal taxpayer dollars were spent on this undercover sting operation and who was being harmed? Nobody.” —Performance artist Justin Vivian Bond in a letter to the New York Times on last month’s raid on the male escort advertising website Rentboy.com by the federal police, in conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security.
“When people are [called] brave in regards to playing LGBTQ people ... that’s borderline offensive. I’m never going to be considered brave for playing a straight person, and nor should I be.” —Actress Ellen Page in an interview with ELLEN PAGE Time Magazine last month about her upcoming movie “Freeheld.” The movie tells the story of Laurel Hester (played by Julianne Moore), a New Jersey police officer who fights to get pension benefits for her partner Stacie Andree (played by Page) after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
SHAME OUT
“Being in this industry and performing at Prides for the past 25 years ... I watched this community grow to be what a Pride can be today. Now you’re watching families. You’re seeing brothers, aunts, uncles, TAYLOR DAYNE sisters, mothers, grandmothers—babies are at Pride now! It’s taking the shame out of everything and opening up. It’s a community.” —Taylor Dayne in an interview last month with The Advocate.
PROTECT GAY “Since when did it become the Department of Homeland Security’s job to protect gay and bi men from buying and selling blowjobs?” —Writer Dan Savage, on his blog, about the decision to raid Rentboy.
MORE GENTLE
DAN SAVAGE
NOTHING ILLEGAL “If ... anyone ... wanted to start a gay porn site, as long as they’re abiding by the law, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. You may look down on it and judge it, but there’s nothing illegal DON LEMON about it. I don’t see why it’s relevant in this particular case.” —CNN’s Don Lemon on investigative correspondent Drew Griffin’s comment that the fact that Vester Lee Flanagan had registered domain names for several gay porn websites in 2007 and 2008 was “just another disturbing twist.” Flanagan killed two young journalists—and then himself—last month in Virginia. 1 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
TATUM O’NEAL
“I’m not making a decision one way or the other, but I think that there is a softer, more gentle quality about women, and that’s what I’m attracted to.” —Oscar-winner Tatum O’Neal in an article about dating women in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar.
HELP US “I’m ashamed how little I know about drag and trans and areas of being gay that I have not been part of. It makes me begin to understand SIR IAN what it was like 30, 40 years ago when people MCKELLEN didn’t understand about simply being gay... You’re going to have to lead us and help us help you.” —Sir Ian McKellen last month at a screening of the upcoming documentary “Muslim Drag Queens,” airing on Channel 4 in the UK. McKellen, who narrates the film, spoke of how the experience affected him personally.
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Website: www.kilobycenter.com | Phone: 1-866-K-I-L-O-B-Y-5 Kiloby Center for Recovery 71-777 San Jacinto Drive, Suite 102, Rancho Mirage, California 92270 www.facebook.com/kilobycenter | www.twitter.com/kilobycenter | instagram: @kilobycenter SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 15
THECITY
QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE PAGEANT PHOTO BY PAULO MURILLO
T
D
RENTBOY RAID PROTEST IN WEHO
PHOTO BY ROBERT GREEN
emonstrators gathered in the city of West Hollywood on Saturday, September 6, to protest the recent raid of Rentboy.com. Last month, federal police in conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security, raided Rentboy, a male escort advertising website, arresting the CEO and 6 employees. “Sex worker rights are human rights,” the director of the “Sex Workers Outreach Project” Danny Cruz, who organized the rally told THE FIGHT. “The attacks on sex worker sites have taken a lot of people out of an online forum that is safe - where they screen clients and people find economic stability,” said Cruz. Similar protests took place in San Francisco, Chicago, and New York.
he Queen of the Universe Pageant, a transgender beauty pageant presented by The Imperial Court of Los Angeles & Hollywood took place last month at Arena on Santa Monica Boulevard. For more than four decades, the “Queen of the Universe” pageant has showcased the beauty, diversity, talent and intelligence of transgender women. The pageant also serves as a venue for the LGBT community, their allies, and the mainstream community to join together to understand the life, challenges and struggles that transgender people face and to celebrate the triumphs and victories of this strong and courageous community. A portion of the proceeds derived from the pageant benefits The AIDS Food Store At Christ Chapel Of Long Beach.
EDUCATION FORUM ON CANNABIS
T
he City of West Hollywood co-sponsored a Cannabis Education Forum last month at the West Hollywood Auditorium, providing community members an opportunity to have an open discussion on the impacts of legalization of cannabis, the current state of the industry, and the real-world application of cannabis and hemp use. The event featured panelists and speakers from the medical and legal fields, and participants offering first-hand experiences regarding medical use in an array of areas, such as for adults and children with special needs and hemp’s industrialization for fuel and materials. Visit cannabiseducationforum.org for more information.
O
ONYX: LEATHER CLUB FOR MEN OF COLOR
NYX SoCal/Southwest chapter welcomed the LA area to their first event last month at The Eagle LA. ONYX is a Leather club for men of color and their admirers. First established in Chicago in 1995 there are currently four other chapters across the country. ONYX addresses issues related to people of color who chose to project the positive aspects of the leather lifestyle and support our community and economic initiatives. The club contributes to the Leather, LGBT and People of Color communities. HIV prevention and care organizations and those that aid youth have always been of note. ONYX holds a beer bust at the Eagle every 2nd Sunday of the month, with raffles, door prizes, and Go-Go Dancers. For more information visit onyxmen.com or www.facebook.com/ONYXSoCal.Southwest.
1 6 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
THRIVE TRIBE TOWN HALL MEETING
T
he City of West Hollywood co-sponsored a Thrive Tribe Foundation Forum Town Hall last month at Plummer Park’s Fiesta Hall. The purpose of the Town Hall was to update the community on the foundation’s progress toward implementing its strategic plan as well as to gather feedback. Thrive Tribe is a nonprofit organization with a mission to end HIV transmission, with or without a cure, by empowering members with information, community connection, and streamlined links to resources. The organization provides education and outreach, healthcare assistance, and advocacy and community to people living with HIV/AIDS. For more information on the Thrive Tribe Foundation Forum, visit thethrivetribe.org.
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>> RICKY REBEL <<
La Fuente celebrates 10 years, WeHo sponsors community pop up featuring substance use treatment services, “Recovery Rocks” at LA Boulder benefiting The McIntyre House. BY VICTO R MELA MED
I
n recognition of National Recovery Month, join La Fuente Hollywood Treatment Center in celebrating 10 years of provid-
ing people with the tools they need to rebuild their lives free from addiction. The party takes place on Saturday,
September 19, 2015, 6pm-10pm, at 5718 Fountain Ave in Los Angeles. Enjoy food, music, giveaways and more. All are welcome! For more info visit lafuentehollywood.com. In related news—the City of West Hollywood’s Social Services Division will be hosting a community pop up featuring substance use treatment services, education/information materials, fun giveaways and refreshments/snacks. Admission is free. September 19, 2015, 10am-1pm, at the West Hollywood Recovery Center, 626 N. Robertson Boulevard. For more information, call (323) 848-6403. Additionally, THE FIGHT Magazine and La Fuente invite you to Recovery Rocks at LA Boulder benefiting The McIntyre House. Join us for an afternoon of rock climbing, yoga and fundraising at LA Boulder on Sunday, September 27, 1pm-5pm, 1375 E 6th Street #8, Los Angeles, CA 90021. Compete in the “Sissy That Rock” competition for a FREE 3-month membership to LA Boulder. Admission is $15 and includes climbing gear. All proceeds for tickets sold specifically for this event will benefit The McIntyre House.
The Los Angeles LGBT Center and Christopher Street West Present
The epidemic destroying gay/bisexual men over 50
Tuesday, October 6, 2015 • 7:30 p.m.
Join us for a frank and provocative discussion about the dynamics of crystal meth use in gay/bisexual men over 50. Moderated by John Duran Panelists: Brad Lamm, CIP and Jeffrey Erdman, Mr. CSW Leather 2016 Collaborating Sponsors:
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SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 19
>> LEATHERMEN <<
The Gray Myth of
Meth
Attorney Jeffrey Erdman, Mr. Christopher Street West Leather 2016, on crystal meth consumption among older adults. BY JEFFREY ERD MA N | PH O TO BY RO BERT GREEN
W
hen you think of people who use crystal meth, do you think of silver haired daddies? Probably not. And, until a few years ago, neither did I. I came to Los Angeles nearly 25 years ago to attend law school. Somewhere along the way, I went from being a young gay lawyer who enjoyed dancing the night away with my friends in West Hollywood to being managing partner of a law firm by day and a leather daddy by night. As they say, time flies when you are having fun. Over the years, I have seen and experienced a lot of things. One of the things I have seen is the epidemic of crystal meth 2 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
consuming the LGBT community. It seems like it started as a young person’s party drug. Personally, I wasn’t interested in experiencing the effects of “tina”—as many people like to call it. But I witnessed its increasing grip on my community and how it changed so many lives of young friends. As I got older, I was sure that I was putting distance between myself and the growing crystal meth epidemic. I believed that people closer to me in age and experience were still acutely aware of the impact of HIV on our community and were still focused on saving lives and rebuilding our community - not generally the sort of people that would engage in risky activities related to the use of illicit
party drugs like crystal meth. In time, I felt confident that the older professional LGBT people that I hung out with knew what harm the drug could do and knew how to avoid it. I was wrong. As I approached my 50s, I began to realize crystal meth use was not limited to the young. The epidemic was spreading, and it seemed nobody was beyond its reach. Reports from the U.S. Census Bureau confirm that our population is aging dramatically. In 2030, more than 20% of U.S. residents will be seniors compared with just 13% in 2010. By extension, the LGBT community is growing older, particularly as we gain substantial ground on HIV treatment and prevention. Projection studies show that the number of people over the age of 50 who will require treatment for substance abuse in the U.S. will increase from 1.4 million people in 2000 to 4.4 million people in 2020. Studies also show that in the “over 50” age group, substance abuse is often found among those experiencing physical and mental illness. So our community is growing older and at the same time we are seeing dramatic increases of drug abuse. The epidemic of crystal meth is riding this wave, as it becomes increasingly plentiful and readily obtainable in the Los Angeles area. I was seeing more and more people in my generation using the drug. And, to my dismay, it began to impact my own life in very personal and direct ways. It literally changed my world and how I viewed this “party” drug.
AVOIDING REALITY Because of my personal experiences, I began to explore why people my generation were doing it. What was the appeal of this drug for guys my age? Why were people willing to risk their lives and relationships for this drug? I felt I needed to understand it all better. Of course, the questions are complex and far better answered by the experts. What I have come to believe, however, is that the psychological effects of aging and mortality issues can be powerful forces in the choices one makes for their lives. As we experience the loss of parents or other close loved ones, and we see our own bodies aging, we are reminded of our own mortality and inevitable death. We become fearful of death and/or desire increased vitality and life. In my experience, crystal meth use among my generation is less about the false euphoria that enhances the “party” experience and more about a perceived
>> JEFFREY ERDMAN <<
feeling of energy and vitality, not to mention perceived sexual drive and desirability that people think they feel when using. Instead of facing the realities of aging, some people are simply “medicating” themselves and avoiding reality. Some use the drug to access sex, in some cases with addicted young members of our community with less means or ability to obtain it, as if the drug were sexual currency. In the end, I found older people slowly killing themselves and destroying lives in a futile effort to maintain their youth.
EASILY HIDDEN I don’t mean to seem as though I stand in judgment. I do not. In fact, once I began to comprehend some of the reasoning behind the use of this drug, I had to take a second look at my own conduct and the ways that I have sought to regain youth and vitality in the face aging. My goal in speaking openly about these issues, however, is to highlight that there are heathier ways and less healthier ways to tackle the effects of aging. I believe the false sense of youth and sexuality created by crystal meth
use among this generation is more harmful than nearly anything else we might do. Of course, the issue is far more complex than just the physical impact of aging. As I mentioned, substance abuse among the aging population is often coupled with illnesses, both physical and mental. The potential combination of both psychological and physical triggers makes treatment of substance abuse among the aging more difficult and perhaps less easily understood (if not also harder to recognize or diagnose). Likewise, my experience is that crystal meth use among a population that tends to be more financially secure and better insured is more easily hidden from the outside world because the financial and physical effects do not reveal themselves as quickly.
COMMUNITY FORUM As a community, we need to do more to recognize and focus attention on the impact of the crystal meth epidemic among the aging members of the community— not at the exclusion of, but in addition to, the younger members of the community.
And we need to do more in terms of providing appropriate treatment for this population, given the differences in the causes and effects of the drug abuse. When I decided to run for Mr. Christopher Street West Leather 2016 last June, I was determined to make this one of my “platform” issues. I made it my goal to bring focus to this important issue. Thankfully, I won that contest and I am able to use that opportunity to bring Christopher Street West (sponsor of LA Pride) together with The Los Angeles LGBT Center and other collaborators and sponsors to host a community forum event called “The Aging of Meth.” The event will be held on the evening of October 6th at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place Los Angeles, CA 90038. Scheduled participants include the nationally recognized drug treatment specialist and successful author Brad Lamm and West Hollywood City Councilman John Duran, a respected advocate on recovery and addiction issues statewide. Public participation will be encouraged and welcomed.
YOU SERVED US.
NOW LET US STAND WITH YOU. As an LGBT Veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces, join us for help accessing your benefits and resources. Free benefit screening and services include: H VA Benefits H VA Enrollment H Employment H VA Mental Health Counseling H Entertainment H Housing Assistance H VA Medical H Financial Screenings Saturday, October 17
H Lunch served to all veterans
10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Los Angeles LGBT Center The Village at Ed Gould Plaza 1125 N. McCadden Place Los Angeles, CA 90038
For more information, call: 323-860-5830 RSVP at lalgbtcenter.org/standdown SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 21
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CALL: 760-327-8939 Palm Springs Life Extension Institute 2825 Tahquitz Canyon Way, Bldg A Palm Springs, CA 92262
SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 23
THEROSTOWREPORT >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<
MEAN NASTY THINGS
What can we say about Kim Davis, the sanctimonious clerk in Kentucky who is defying the Supreme Court by refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay or straight couples? Hey. She's not just defying the High Court's marriage ruling. She's defying an order from a federal court directed at her personally, one that was confirmed by the justices. By the time you read this, she will probably have been assessed various fines for contempt of court, and I will bet you dollars to cocktails that far right religious people will be raising boatloads of dough on line in order to pay her court costs. (I get the cocktails if I win.) The good news, in my view, is that Kim Davis is a very unsympathetic figure, and will not look attractive in the glare of the national media spotlight. She's mean. She has a mean little look and says mean nasty things. Plus, she's been divorced at least once if not twice or three times, so her self-proclaimed allegiance to God is, let's say, discretionary. Finally, although Americans are generally in favor of small business people who don't want to celebrate same-sex marriages (wrongly so, I might add), they are not supportive of government officials who use their personal faith to decide which taxpayers are entitled to which public services. If we have to fight one of these religious wars, we might as well face the unpalatable Kim Davis.
POTUS GONE WILD
Am I the only one who didn't instantly recognize the name "Bear Grylls?" To be honest I wasn't even sure this was a name, per se. I mean "Running Wild with Bear Grylls?" Doesn't that sound a little kinky to you?
BEAR GRYLLS
“Running Wild with Bear Grylls?” Doesn’t that sound a little kinky to you? Turns out that Bear is a survivalist type guy who has a reality show where he eats bugs and entertains viewers with his wilderness skills and Barack Obama is going to join him on an upcoming show in order to illustrate the dangers of climate change. Turns out that Bear is a survivalist type guy who has a reality show where he eats bugs and entertains viewers with his wilderness skills and Barack Obama is going to join him on an upcoming show in order to illustrate the dangers of climate change. Well, why not? I just took a little tour of Girls Gone Wild, for research purposes. I had no idea that it consists of little more than the kind of fake lesbian porn that looks nothing like actual lesbian sex. I know straight men are interested, but it's kind of weird isn't it? You don't see straight women lapping
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up man-on-man action. Well maybe sometimes, but they don't prefer it to straight porn, do they? I know for a fact that lesbians don't really go for the fake lesbian porn, and I imagine gay men have little interest. So there you have it. A completely contrived sex genre that does not even exist in reality. I'm just glad that Barack Obama is not going to be participating.
RAIDING RENTBOY
Speaking of sex, many people were dumbfounded when the New York Police
Department and a bunch of thugs from Homeland Security raided the offices of rentboy. com and arrested a half dozen of the company's executives. The agents announced, gasp, that there was gambling going on at Rick's cafe! An "online brothel" in their words, yet one that has operated without comment from law enforcement since 1997. It's pretty obvious that the escorts on rentboy offer a wide range of services, shall we say. It's also clear that neither the men nor their clients are particularly coerced. This is a harmless operation, a victimless crime that seems to have little to do with the national security threats that we thought Homeland Security was targeting. This is not to say that the sex trade in general is nothing more than business as usual. It has a very dark side indeed, but our rent boys did not appear to operate in those shadows. Plus, they're gay! Why shut down the gay guys? Why not pick on some straight site?
SEX WITH PETER
So this morning I clicked on a link to a story about two gay brothers in organized crime who had an incestuous affair, and eventually decided the item didn't rise to the high standards of this column. But while I was at it, I found a sidebar about a woman who had sex with a dolphin named Peter. I even copied a quote out of that item: "It was sexual on his part," she said, "it was not sexual on mine, sensual perhaps." Hmmm. Perhaps. But wait. That piece referred to another fish story, a romance between a man named Malcolm Brenner, now in his mid-sixties, who had something going on with a dolphin named Dolly in a Florida park back in 1971.
> > M E A N N A S T Y T H I N G S , P O T U S G O N E W I L D , R A I D I N G R E N T B O Y, S E X W I T H P E T E R , C E T A C E A N S < <
Brenner said Dolly "came on" to him, and that they would wait for her mate to be put back in his pen before indulging themselves. Yes, I know that dolphins aren't fish. And yes, I know that this has little or nothing to do with GLBT news. OK, fine. It has nothing to do with GLBT news. But it's interesting, n'est-ce pas? Sometimes I wonder what life will be like in a hundred years, and I think back to 1915 and wonder if people back then wondered about life in 2015. I'm sure they did. This is just to say that I believe we will be able to converse with dolphins by 2115. At which point we can get Peter and Dolly's viewpoint on these relationships. "Eek eeeek eeee eel eeeek!" ("He said I came on to him?
That son of a bitch.") "Eeeeeeek eek ah ah ah eeek" ("It wasn't just sexual. I loved her.") One thing I'm sure of. All cars all be self driving and people will look back and shudder at the idea of hundreds of cars racing down the Interstate at 75 mph right next to each other with individuals at the wheel, many of them drunk, texting, singing and eating. Road trip! True confession. I once took a summer road trip from Connecticut to Austin wearing a bikini and steering with my feet on cruise control while my friend fixed gin and tonics in the passenger seat. We'd stop briefly at motels where I'd dive into the pool and she would get more ice. This was years and years ago, back when driving while intoxicated was amusing.
SPEAKING OF CETACEANS
Guess what? The Faroe Islands are about to vote on marriage equality. I think by the time you read these words the vote will be over, so you can learn the outcome right away. I gather the islanders really enjoy killing whales, so frankly, I don't care what happens to them. Go ahead and vote against marriage equality. Bunch of murderers. I can also tell you that Pope Francis did not endorse a gay friendly children's book. One of his aides sent a nice reply to a letter from the lesbian author of Piccolo Ouvo that included a boilerplate papal blessing at the end. But the blessing was directed towards the lesbian letter writer, not towards her book. Meanwhile, that book and another like it have been banned from school libraries
by the new conservative mayor of Venice, Luigi Brugnaro. Brugnaro originally banned several dozen gay friendly kids books, but after an outcry he cut the blacklist to two, including Piccolo Ouvo, "Little Egg," the story of an egg who encounters different types of families on its journey. There's something jarring about the idea of a conservative mayor of Venice. Not sure why. And speaking of the Pope, I read that he thinks women who have had an abortion can be forgiven by priests. But only for a special jubilee "year of mercy" that runs from December 8 to November 20. Say what? First, that's not a full year. Second, what happens to women who have had an abortion after the time period is over. And third, why not forgive lesbians and gay men for their alleged "sins?" n
SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 25
>> LARRY PACIOTTI <<
Chi Chi
UNCHAINED Larry Paciotti, aka Chi Chi LaRue, recently out of rehab, on hitting rock bottom, lifelong commitments and being a better man. BY PA U LO MURI LLO | PHOTO BY JOSE A GUZMAN
I
What was life like for you before you decided to get sober? My life was complicated, or so I thought. I drank a lot and did drugs—mostly cocaine— before I had my gastric bypass surgery, but it didn’t hit me like it did after I had it. I came to find out after I had the surgery that it happens a lot where people compensate and replace food with other addictions like shopping, drinking, etc. I was diagnosed How do you feel at this very moment? “I was and am a in treatment as cross-addicted, so really Right at this moment I feel happy, joychronic relapser. I call anything in my life can become an addiction, ous and free. That may be a little cliché, like my addiction to Starbucks. but it’s true. myself a slip sister. Things I was and am a chronic relapser. I would be going really great call myself a slip sister. Things would How much sober time have you acbe going really great for a while and crued as of this interview? for a while and I guess I would I guess I would self-sabotage. I Today is 65 days. self-sabotage. I screwed up a lot screwed up a lot of gigs and spent Have you tried to get sober in of gigs and spent and lost a lot of and lost a lot of money. I was falling down and hurting myself and hurting the past? money. I was falling down and other people more and more frequentI have tried everything from white ly. I broke my thumb, my nose, and hurt knuckling it, to doing 90 [12-step] hurting myself and hurting my legs and my face a lot. meetings in 90 days. I went to Florida other people more and Being a female impersonator a.k.a. and spent 30 days living in a hotel and ima drag queen—hell, being a goddamn mersing myself into the sober community. more frequently...” 55-year-old grown-ass man, you would I thought I had it after a year, but when think I would get a hint that the last thing you stop working the program, the disease I wanted to do was keep fucking up my grabs hold. It’s always waiting, cunning, face, body and health. Was your intervention anything like baffling, powerful and patient. what you see in the television show? What is life like now that you’ve had Exactly like it. My friends and family What happened during your previous some clarity? had to go through a pre-intervention, attempts at sobriety and why is this The moments have been amazing. which I’m sure was tough. They already time different? Going into treatment was the best thing had letters asking me if I would take this I was lying to everybody, including that’s happened to me in a long, long time. gift offered to me and my answer was my amazing sponsor Greg, all my sober This is a lifelong commitment and I plan on yes-yes-yes to every letter. I was so ready family, my friends, my business partners keeping that commitment. and willing to go. and more importantly to myself. This n an exclusive interview with THE FIGHT Larry Paciotti—widely known as gay porn director, drag personality, and DJ, Chi Chi LaRue—speaks out about his struggle with addiction, being a slip sister, the recent intervention that led to rehab where his journey in recovery began, and how it gets better sober.
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time I had a horrific bottom and I was screaming for help silently on the inside and hurting myself on the outside. Thank God my higher power brought some much needed love my way in the form of an intervention.
>> CHI CHI <<
Is there any conflict between Larry Paciotti the person and Chi Chi LaRue the persona? That was a big problem, because the two started to become one. I was losing the best of both of those people even though they are just one person. I truly love being both of those crazies. How do the two of you co-exist in the realm of recovery? One day at a time. What was the public response like after you announced you were going to rehab? Mostly, the response was positive, with a lot of love and support from many. Of course I had the people that said nasty things because they can and that’s okay though, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. What other people think of me is none of my business. What happened to you financially that made you decide to start a gofundme campaign to help pay for rehab? I didn’t open that up; my friend Kevin from Minnesota did. There’s a very long story that I don’t want to go into, that involves other circumstances on why I didn’t have the funds to finish my rehab. I want to thank everyone who donated to the fund. It meant a lot and you helped me more than you’ll ever know. What does the future hold for Larry Paciotti and Chi Chi LaRue now that Larry is sober? I can say I’ll be a better man sober. I’ll be a better director, a better drag queen, a better friend, a better business partner, a better DJ: a better human being all around. What would you tell someone who thinks they may have issues with substance abuse and wants help? Anything is possible. Look at me, I tried so many times to get sober and I hope this time it sticks. If you want to get help, help is waiting for you. Go to a [12-step] meeting and try it out. It can be very scary, but you’re definitely not alone in this mixed-up world of addiction. I hope that anyone out there that’s struggling with addiction of any kind will seek help. If my story provides any comfort or help to even one person, then this journey I’ve taken was meant to be. I love a good God shot. SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 27
JOIN US!!!! OCT 1-4, 2015 California Consortium of Addiction Programs & Professionals 2nd Annual Conference!!!! Phone #916-338-9460 Register at our Website: www.ccapp.us
THE PREMIER “Conference” FOR ADDICTION-FOCUSED PROFESSIONALS –28 CEU’sWe welcome all addiction treatment counselors, social workers, therapists, physicians, nurses, and interventionists as well as the addiction treatment providers, behavioral healthcare organizations and mental health providers.
VENUE: BURBANK Our venue is Wonderful! CCAPP’S 2nd Annual Conference is located at the beautiful Marriot Hotel in Burbank.
SPECIALTY WORKSHOP Some specialty topics we have available are:
Clinical Supervision Cultural and Diversity Issues Families Clinical Issues Criminal Justice & DUI Ethics and Professional Issues AOD Prevention Pharmacotherapy Personal and Professional Wellness Private Practice Managed Care Intervention & Referral Sober living Women’s Treatment Marketing & Administration 2 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
KEYNOTE AND PLENARY SPEAKERS TBA WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
Fun and excitement 12 Step meetings Exhibit Hall with over 60 Exhibitors Raffles Hotel is right next to the airport 28 CEU’s Meeting new friends Networking with Professionals Cutting edge Presentations Great room rates Future bosses Giveaways Updates with the AOD Profession Awesome conference Friendly Staff
*If you are interested in Exhibiting, Sponsoring, or Advertising at our event please contact Kristina Padilla at kristina@ccapp.us or at 1-916-338-9460 ext.112
SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 29
y l e Lon t r a He > > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <
Finding a home in mindfulness—one gay man’s story of addiction and liberation.
T
he smell and taste of a man’s mouth is worth a thousand words. In my post-college, pre-Grindr addiction to sex with strangers, one kiss or even one whiff of breath hovering in the anonymous air as we excitedly twisted our bodies into the next sexual position answered so many unspoken questions. Who is he? Where has he been today?
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BY SCOTT KI LOBY
Is he a Marlboro man? Does he have any more of those poppers I smell? Is that vodka or gin under the breath mints? Is he drunk still? Would he still be attracted to me if he wasn’t drunk right now? Whatever the odor of his mouth did not reveal, his glassy, red, distant or dilated eyes answered the rest: buzzed, drunk, pilled up or blacked out. I suppose I was so intuitively tuned into
the signs of addiction because, metaphorically, I was quite often meeting myself in those bars, dark alleys and dimly-lit bedrooms. My addiction to sex was inextricably wrapped up in a tornado of other addictions, and I wore the debris of that storm everywhere I went. It wasn’t just sex, drugs and alcohol. I was addicted to love too, looking for someone to fill up the empty cavern of my lonely heart.
>> SCOTT KILOBY <<
FILL A VOID To be fair, not every man I slept with was caught up in the same tempest of mental and emotional self-destruction. But many were. We weren’t just strange ships passing randomly in the night on different courses. We were lost in the same lonely sea, desperately seeking a satisfying home where our pain could finally be relieved, once and for all. We were looking to alcohol, drugs and men to fill a void that could not be filled by yet another martini, hit of ecstasy, or blow job. Our naked, frenzied encounters weren’t that random at all. I was meeting men who were acting out the same obsessive script that was running through my head on a daily basis. We found ourselves called to the same dark corners of the world, looking for the same fixes, and never truly finding what we were looking for.
BREAKING POINT At age 34, my cycle of addiction came to a cataclysmic breaking point. As a practicing attorney, I found myself sitting at my desk one day, feeling like a total fraud. I had spent years of energy trying to stay high and pretending to play the role of a guy who had it all together, but my world was coming apart at the seams. I had become the cliché that I had ridiculed and judged for years, a rock bottom addict all alone and therefore in bad company. In that moment of intense suffering, I realized that one more pill was not enough to get me high and a thousand pills would never fill the insatiable hole in my soul. I found myself slowly coiling up in a fetal position on the couch, rocking back and forth in despair. The only way out of the raging storm of my addictions was to come clean and find someone or something to finally give me the help I needed. I couldn’t stop on my own. That was clear. I had tried for fifteen years.
RELIGIOUS TRAUMA I was one of the lucky ones. As a wandered aimlessly through the 12 step rooms, I found just enough support to keep me clean and sober for a while. And being clean and sober was at least a good start. But my addiction was really not about the drugs, alcohol, love or sex. It was about me. Me and my obsessively racing mind. Me and my overly sensitive emotional nature. Me and my inner child who felt like an alien from a different planet while growing up. Me and the emotional flotsam and jetsam floating around in my nervous system after being bullied in grade school for being gay.
My recovery eventually took me out of the 12 step program. I was a seeker, through and through. The same seeking that led me to drugs, alcohol, love and sex pulled me relentlessly into a mad search for authentic spiritual awakening. For me, the 12 steps weren’t ultimately the answer. They work for some people, but I needed to go deeper. I just couldn’t get on board with the notion of a God or higher power that would somehow sweep away all my pain with a few well-designed prayers. I had too many memories of angry faces on TV using God to justify their homophobic rubbish—“God hates fags!” I know now that those people don’t represent the majority of Christians. And this essay is not a condemnation of religion or the 12 steps. It’s the story of my life. The religious trauma I experienced while growing up gay in a world that used the Bible as a weapon against me led me to find another spiritual path—mindfulness. That was the proverbial key.
“My addiction to sex was inextricably wrapped up in a tornado of other addictions, and I wore the debris of that storm everywhere I went.” THE PRESENT MOMENT Through the practice of mindfulness I found a liberation that I never could have imagined! I discovered a peace in the present moment too delicious and simple for words. The practice led me to experiences which deeply quieted my racing mind, cleared away the emotional wreckage of my bullied past, and provided a way to simply observe and let go of addictive cravings in the moment they arose. My anxieties have been reduced to zero on most days and a bare minimum even when they do arise. I truly love myself! I realized that what I was really seeking all those years was to love myself. And true self-love cannot be obtained by looking on the outside. That scared 25 year old kid who was searching for satisfaction in all
the wrong places is gone. It’s almost as if my addicted past is someone else’s life, somehow downloaded into my mind but accessible only as a very vague memory now. Rarely do I go to a gay bar. On occasion, I strike up Grindr, Scruff or some other app. Although I’m not caught up in the raging storm of sex or love addiction anymore, I’m also not a prude or someone trying to stand on some high moral ground. It’s not about that at all. I still love sex! I’m proud to say that I am gay. And I love our LGBT community with its colorful diversity and the revolutionary political and legal accomplishments we have won so far. I know that not every gay man on an app is an addict. But, some are—maybe even many. I want to reach out to those brothers of mine, wherever you are. I know the pain. I know the daily enslavement. I know the feeling of being trapped in a cycle that seems to have no exit door. Living life clean and sober from drugs, alcohol, love addiction and from obsessive sex and porn-watching gives me fresh eyes to see that at least part of our LGBT community is still living in the storm. And mindfulness provides me an unending and deep compassion for my gay brothers out there doing what I did for so long.
A WAY OUT Even as I write this, I am visualizing the thousands of men exchanging information with each other right now through kisses, whiffs of breath and eye contact about where they have been, what they have ingested today, what they are looking for ultimately and about their pain and their unsuccessful attempts to finally fill the void within. To all of you, I want to say that there is a way out. It is never too late to discover a whole new way of life. And you don’t have to sell your soul to an organized religion that shuns the gay ground you walk on. Today there are alternatives that have nothing to do with dogma. Mindfulness is one of those alternatives and it is practically tailored made for those of us who have never found a true home in drugs, alcohol, society, religion or even in the trail of ruffled sheets of years of addictive, anonymous sex. Scott Kiloby is a noted author, international speaker and founder of the Kiloby Center for Recovery in Palm Springs, California. SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 31
WHAT IS PREZCOBIX™ ?
• It is not known if PREZCOBIX™ is safe and effective in children under 18 years of age. • When used with other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection, PREZCOBIX™ may help:
Medihaler,® Migergot,® Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), methylergonovine (Methergine®), lovastatin or a product that contains lovastatin (Altoprev,® Advicor,® Mevacor ®), lurasidone (Latuda®), oral midazolam (Versed®), pimozide (Orap®), ranolazine (Ranexa®), rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifater®, Rifamate,® Rimactane®), sildenafil (Revatio®) when used for pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH), simvastatin or a product that contains simvastatin (Simcor,® Vytorin®, Zocor ®), St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) or a product that contains St. John’s Wort, or triazolam (Halcion®).
○ reduce the amount of HIV-1 in your blood. This is called “viral load.”
• Serious problems can happen if you take any of these medicines with PREZCOBIX.™
○ increase the number of CD4+ (T) cells in your blood that help fight off other infections.
What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking PREZCOBIX™ ?
• PREZCOBIX™ is always taken in combination with other HIV medications for the treatment of HIV-1 infection in adults. PREZCOBIX™ should be taken once daily with food. • PREZCOBIX™ does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS, and you may still experience illnesses associated with HIV-1 infection. You must keep taking HIV-1 medicines to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses. • Ask your healthcare provider if you have any questions on how to prevent passing HIV to other people. • Please read the Important Safety Information below and talk to your healthcare provider to learn if PREZCOBIX™ is right for you.
• About all health problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you have liver problems, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C, have kidney problems, are allergic to sulfa (sulfonamide), have diabetes, have hemophilia, or have any other medical condition, are pregnant, breastfeeding, or plan to become pregnant or breastfeed. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking PREZCOBIX.™ • About all medicines you take. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines interact with PREZCOBIX.™ Keep a list of your medicines to show your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Do not start taking a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take PREZCOBIX™ with other medicines.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
What are the possible side effects of PREZCOBIX™ ?
What is the most important information I should know about PREZCOBIX™ ?
• The most common side effects of darunavir, one of the medicines in PREZCOBIX,™ include diarrhea, nausea, rash, headache, stomach area (abdominal) pain, and vomiting.
• PREZCOBIX™ may cause liver problems. Some people taking PREZCOBIX™ may develop liver problems which may be life-threatening. Your healthcare provider should do blood tests before and during your treatment with PREZCOBIX.™ ○ Chronic hepatitis B or C infection may increase your chance of developing liver problems. Your healthcare provider should check your blood tests more often. ○ Signs and symptoms of liver problems include dark (tea-colored) urine, yellowing of your skin or whites of your eyes, pale-colored stools (bowel movements), nausea, vomiting, pain or tenderness on your right side below your ribs, or loss of appetite. Tell your healthcare provider if you develop any of these symptoms. • PREZCOBIX™ may cause severe or life-threatening skin reactions or rash. Sometimes these skin reactions and skin rashes can become severe and require treatment in a hospital. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop a rash. ○ Stop taking PREZCOBIX™ and call your healthcare provider right away if you develop any skin changes with symptoms such as fever, tiredness, muscle or joint pain, blisters or skin lesions, mouth sores or ulcers, red or inflamed eyes like “pink eye” (conjunctivitis). • PREZCOBIX,™ when taken with certain other medicines, can cause new or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking PREZCOBIX.™ Who should not take PREZCOBIX™ ? • Do not take PREZCOBIX™ with any of the following medicines: alfuzosin (Uroxatral®), cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid® Quicksolv), colchicine (Colcrys®, Mitigare,® if you have liver or kidney problems), dronedarone (Multaq®), dihydroergotamine (D.H.E.45®, Embolex ®, Migranal®), ergotamine tartrate (Cafergot ,® Ergomar ,® Ergostat ,® 3 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
• Other possible side effects include: ○ High blood sugar, diabetes or worsening diabetes, and increased bleeding in people with hemophilia have been reported in patients taking protease inhibitor medicines, including PREZCOBIX.™ ○ Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicines. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these changes are not known. ○ Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. These are not all of the possible side effects of PREZCOBIX.™ For more information, ask your healthcare provider. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see accompanying full Product Information for more details. Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP © Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP 2015 05/15 034168-150507
027409-150108
• PREZCOBIX™ is a prescription HIV-1 (Human Immunodeficiency Virus 1) medicine used with other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection in adults. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). PREZCOBIX™ contains the prescription medicines PREZISTA® (darunavir) and TYBOST® (cobicistat).
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Visit WisdomLosAngeles.com to hear wisdom inspired by experts and people like you living with HIV. Ask your provider if Once-Daily* PREZCOBIX™ is right for you.
WisdomLosAngeles.com *PREZCOBIX™ is taken in combination with other HIV medications for the treatment of HIV-1 infection in adults. SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 33
IMPORTANT PATIENT INFORMATION PATIENT INFORMATION PREZCOBIX (prez-koe-bix) (darunavir and cobicistat) tablets Please read this information before you start taking PREZCOBIX and each time you get a refill. There may be new information. This information does not take the place of talking with your healthcare provider about your medical condition or treatment. What is the most important information I should know about PREZCOBIX? • PREZCOBIX may cause liver problems. Some people taking PREZCOBIX may develop liver problems which may be lifethreatening. Your healthcare provider should do blood tests before and during your treatment with PREZCOBIX. If you have chronic hepatitis B or C infection, your healthcare provider should check your blood tests more often because you have an increased chance of developing liver problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any of the below signs and symptoms of liver problems. • dark (tea colored) urine • yellowing of your skin or whites of your eyes • pale colored stools (bowel movements) • nausea • vomiting • pain or tenderness on your right side below your ribs • loss of appetite • PREZCOBIX may cause severe or life-threatening skin reactions or rash. Sometimes these skin reactions and skin rashes can become severe and require treatment in a hospital. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop a rash. Stop taking PREZCOBIX and call your healthcare provider right away if you develop any skin changes with symptoms below: • fever • tiredness • muscle or joint pain • blisters or skin lesions • mouth sores or ulcers • red or inflamed eyes, like “pink eye” (conjunctivitis) • PREZCOBIX when taken with certain other medicines can cause new or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking PREZCOBIX. See “What are the possible side effects of PREZCOBIX?” for more information about side effects. What is PREZCOBIX? PREZCOBIX is a prescription HIV-1 (Human Immunodeficiency Virus 1) medicine used with other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection in adults. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). PREZCOBIX contains the prescription medicines PREZISTA (darunavir) and TYBOST (cobicistat). It is not known if PREZCOBIX is safe and effective in children under 18 years of age. When used with other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection, PREZCOBIX may help: • reduce the amount of HIV-1 in your blood. This is called “viral load”.
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• i ncrease the number of CD4+ (T) cells in your blood that help fight off other infections. Reducing the amount of HIV-1 and increasing the CD4+ (T) cells in your blood may help improve your immune system. This may reduce your risk of death or getting infections that can happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections). PREZCOBIX does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. You must keep taking HIV-1 medicines to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses. Avoid doing things that can spread HIV-1 infection to others. • Do not share or re-use needles or other injection equipment. • Do not share personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them, like toothbrushes and razor blades. • Do not have any kind of sex without protection. Always practice safe sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood. Ask your healthcare provider if you have any questions on how to prevent passing HIV to other people. Who should not take PREZCOBIX? Do not take PREZCOBIX with any of the following medicines: • alfuzosin (Uroxatral®) • cisapride (Propulside®, Propulsid® Quicksolv) • colchicine (Colcrys®, Mitigare®), if you have liver or kidney problems • dronedarone (Multaq®) • ergot-containing medicines: • dihydroergotamine (D.H.E. 45®, Embolex®, Migranal®) • ergotamine tartrate (Cafergot®, Ergomar®, Ergostat®, Medihaler®, Migergot®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®) • methylergonovine (Methergine®) • lovastatin or a product that contains lovastatin (Altoprev®, Advicor®, Mevacor®) • lurasidone (Latuda®) • midazolam (Versed®), when taken by mouth • pimozide (Orap®) • ranolazine (Ranexa®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifater®, Rifamate®, Rimactane®) • sildenafil (Revatio®), when used for the treatment of pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH) • simvastatin or a product that contains simvastatin (Simcor®, Vytorin®, Zocor®) • St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum), or a product that contains St. John’s Wort • triazolam (Halcion®) Serious problems can happen if you take any of these medicines with PREZCOBIX. What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking PREZCOBIX? Before taking PREZCOBIX, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have liver problems, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C • have kidney problems • are allergic to sulfa (sulfonamide) • have diabetes • have hemophilia • have any other medical condition
IMPORTANT PATIENT INFORMATION • a re pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if PREZCOBIX will harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking PREZCOBIX. • Pregnancy Registry: There is a pregnancy registry for women who take antiretroviral medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of the registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk to your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take PREZCOBIX. • You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV to your baby. • It is not known if PREZCOBIX can pass into your breast milk. • Talk to your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines interact with PREZCOBIX. Keep a list of your medicines to show your healthcare provider and pharmacist. • You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with PREZCOBIX. • Do not start taking a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take PREZCOBIX with other medicines. How should I take PREZCOBIX? • Take PREZCOBIX exactly as your healthcare provider tells you. • Do not change your dose or stop taking PREZCOBIX without talking to your healthcare provider. • Take PREZCOBIX 1 time a day with food. • If you miss a dose of PREZCOBIX by less than 12 hours, take your missed dose of PREZCOBIX right away. Then take your next dose of PREZCOBIX at your regularly scheduled time. • If you miss a dose of PREZCOBIX by more than 12 hours, wait and then take the next dose of PREZCOBIX at your regularly scheduled time. • If a dose of PREZCOBIX is skipped, do not double the next dose. Do not take more or less than your prescribed dose of PREZCOBIX at any one time. • If you take too much PREZCOBIX, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest hospital emergency room right away. What are the possible side effects of PREZCOBIX? PREZCOBIX may cause serious side effects including: • See “What is the most important information I should know about PREZCOBIX?” • Diabetes and high blood sugar (hyperglycemia). Some people who take protease inhibitors including PREZCOBIX can get high blood sugar, develop diabetes, or your diabetes can get worse. Tell your healthcare provider if you notice an increase in thirst or urinate often while taking PREZCOBIX. • Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medications. The changes may include an increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms, and face may also happen.
The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known. • Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine. • Increased bleeding for hemophiliacs. Some people with hemophilia have increased bleeding with protease inhibitors including PREZCOBIX. The most common side effects of darunavir, one of the medicines in PREZCOBIX, include: • diarrhea • nausea • rash • headache • stomach area (abdominal) pain • vomiting Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. These are not all of the possible side effects of PREZCOBIX. For more information, ask your health care provider. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. How should I store PREZCOBIX? • Store PREZCOBIX tablets at room temperature between 68°F to 77°F (20°C to 25°C). Keep PREZCOBIX and all medicines out of reach of children. General information about PREZCOBIX Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information leaflet. Do not use PREZCOBIX for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give PREZCOBIX to other people, even if they have the same symptoms that you have. It may harm them. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about PREZCOBIX that is written for health professionals. For more information call 1-800-526-7736. What are the ingredients in PREZCOBIX? Active ingredients: darunavir and cobicistat Inactive ingredients: colloidal silicon dioxide, crospovidone, hypromellose, magnesium stearate, and silicified microcrystalline cellulose. The tablets are film-coated with a coating material containing iron oxide black, iron oxide red, polyethylene glycol, polyvinyl alcohol (partially hydrolyzed), talc, and titanium dioxide. Manufactured by: Janssen Ortho LLC, Gurabo, PR 00778 Manufactured for: Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP, Titusville NJ 08560 Issued: January 2015 © Janssen Pharmaceuticals, Inc. 2015 027415-150108
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Integrated Healthcare Tarzana Treatment Centers provides high quality, personalized, affordable behavioral healthcare and addiction treatment services in Los Angeles. BY MARK ARI EL
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arzana Treatment Centers (TTC) is a full-service, non-profit, community-based behavioral healthcare organization that provides substance abuse and mental health treatment to adults and youth. TTC operates a psychiatric hospital, residential and outpatient alcohol and drug treatment centers and family medical clinics. Tom Martinez, M.S.W., Director of Community Programs & Services, has worked in the Los Angeles area in the fields of HIV and Recovery since 1997, when he joined the Tarzana Treatment Center Team. Martinez, a gay man, grew up in Thibodaux, a small town in Louisiana. “The process of coming out to myself was harder than coming out to everyone else,” says Martinez in an interview with THE FIGHT. “Growing up in the South, there were no openly gay people—so there were no role models—just stereotypes of what people thought gay people looked and acted like.” “I moved to Los Angeles in 1995,” reveals Martinez. “I had not been to LA before moving here—I just felt like it was where I needed to be... I felt very much out of place in Louisiana—so I packed up everything that would fit into my car drove
to my parent’s house and told them I was moving to Los Angeles, and 30 minutes later, I was on my way to LA—no place to live, didn’t know anyone here, no job.” “Looking back,” states Martinez, “that process made me realize that I was much stronger than I had ever realized.”
After working at TTC for several months Martinez’s opinion about drug treatment began to change. “It was the first place I worked at that had a full menu of treatment options for those struggling with substance use issues—everything from the traditional 12 step model of recovery to harm reduction programs like syringe exchange,” says Martinez. “TTC doesn’t believe there was one path to recovery but each person has the right to decide what might work for them. Engagement was always the key. If you keep someone connected and engaged in services long enough, at some point, sobriety will be the right option for them. It was probably the first thing about substance use treatment that made sense to me. It was the first place I had ever heard of that allowed active drug users to utilize their Medical Clinics, Mental Health Services, Case Management, etc. Every other place I knew about told active drug users to come back when they were clean and sober. TTC has demonstrated that active drug users can be adherent to taking medications and keeping medical appointments.”
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER THE RIGHT OPTION
Safe, Confidential, FreeHIV Testing And Counseling A couple of years after arriving in Los Angles Martinez accepted a job at the Tarzana Treatment Center as a Home Health Social Worker. “TTC provides Substance Use Disorder treatment—so when I started working here, I began to learn more about recovery, even though, to be honest, initially the field of recovery was not ever one of my job aspirations,” reveals Martinez. “I had nothing but resentment and dislike for treatment programs. I have two brothers who struggled with substance use issues, and I saw them getting kicked out of treatment programs for relapsing. That never made sense to me. How was that helpful? One of my brothers passed away from Hep C, and I often wonder if he would still be alive if just one of the treatment programs would have recognized relapse as a part of recovery.”
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services with medical care, mental health, housing, case management and HIV/ AIDS services to provide integrated care,” explains Martinez. “Tarzana Treatment Centers believes in treating the whole person not just the diagnosis. We understand that there are different aspects to good health and that it takes a team approach to patient care to help one meet their physical, mental, and emotional goals. TTC’s Medical clinics offer a mix of primary and HIV & Hep C specialty care—treating everything from bumps and bruises to complex illnesses while providing access to mental health, substance use disorder treatment and education and prevention programs. Tarzana Treatment Centers is a one-stop shop for all your healthcare needs. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true.”
needs. I recently read that substance use is twice as high among the LGBT community as in other communities. Statistics about substance use in our community only tell part of the story. In my opinion, higher numbers indicate a need that hasn’t yet been met. Substance use and abuse is one area that as a community we should focus on. More programs are needed that provide culturally relevant treatment options for the LBGT community. Historically, there has been a lack of culturally competent health care services for the LGBT community which keeps many LGBT people from seeking substance use treatment because of previous negative experiences in coming out to their doctors, or having heard about others’ bad experiences when seeking treatment.”
MORE FOCUS
Additionally, says Martinez, “TTC is proud to offer a full-service PrEP program for our eligible HIV-negative patients.” “We have the tools needed to greatly reduce the spread of HIV. PrEP is a medicine taken daily that helps prevent you from get-
Martinez says that while he is proud of the work done by members of the LGBT community on rights, equality, and marriage, he would “like to see more focus on our community’s health and mental health
PrEP PROGRAM
ting HIV if you are exposed to it. When taken consistently, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV infection by up to 92%.” “For our HIV+ patients,” reveals Martinez, “we have a full-service TasP program. TasP refers to HIV prevention methods that use antiretroviral treatment (ART) to decrease the risk of HIV transmission. HIV+ individuals receiving antiretroviral treatment (ART) are at a much lower risk of spreading HIV. One study, HPTN 052, showed early initiation of antiretroviral treatment for the HIVpositive partner in a serodifferent couple reduced HIV transmission to the HIVnegative partner by 96%.” “There should not be any shame associated with being HIV+ or any shame associated with what you choose to do sexually,” states Martinez. “Educate yourself and your friends about PrEP and TasP. Be proud of your contribution in reducing the spread of HIV.” For more info on Tarzana Treatment Centers healthcare services call (888) 777-8565, or visit www.tarzanatc.org.
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The Art Of Sobriety
Los Angeles based photographer John Arsenault on his traumatic childhood, drinking, drug use, suicide attempts, his art and 15 years of continuous sobriety. BY TO M PA RDOE | PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNI NGHAM
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lesbian. Actually, when I was 10. Or maybe Very “Steel Magnolias.” I was surrounded aised in a small town in I was 9. That time was very fuzzy for me. by women. I spent a majority of my time northern Massachusetts, John there, actually all of my time there, with Arsenault moved to New York How did you feel about that? the women. Playing with Barbies and City in 1997 to pursue a degree The way I found out about my mother was drinking coffee. in photography at the School of sort of a traumatic experience. It wasn’t Visual Arts. He now resides in Los Angeles. done in a very healthy way... And I told her Arsenault’s photographs are repre“I that I would keep her secret. I knew how sented in the permanent collections of the make my unhappy she was with my father. And I Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art in wanted her to be happy. At a young age I Overland Park, Kansas, and the Museum recovery the number was willing to lie and keep secrets for her. of Fine Arts, Houston. one thing in my life. It comes With clients ranging from The New What was the final straw before Yorker and Volkswagen to Goldman before my marriage, my work, recovery? Sachs and Out Magazine (Awarded before everything. I have the life I I was put into a mental institution “The Out 100”—2005’s Most Intriguing), Arsenault brings his have today because of my recovery. at the age of 15, because I tried to commit suicide, and through that I audience to the “in-between” It’s about staying connected. Going was introduced to AA. But the last moment—in between a feeling, a pose, or a time of day—so often to meetings, having a sponsor, and straw for me was when I tried to commit suicide three times with my missed in our rush to get somestaying grounded. Showing up father’s gun I found underneath his where, to accomplish, or to dismiss. bed. There was an intervention. I went Arsenault’s first book “Barmaid”—a and being consistent is what to see a therapist, then put into a mental collection of 50 images photographed at it’s about for me. I know institution. So that was the last straw. the Eagle LA where he worked as a barthat I can’t do it all back, or “barmaid,” as Arsenault likes to reWow! Were you still dreaming of doing fer to the position—is available for purchase by myself.” hair at that time? at: www.johnarsenaultphotography.com. For sure! But I was 15, in the closet. I You can view an assortment of had a girlfriend. By that time my parents Love that! Now, tell me about the life Arsenault’s work at www.clampart.com. had separated. I was living with my of John before recovery. In an interview with THE FIGHT father. My mother had moved to Boston Well, my early childhood was pretty Arsenault talks about his traumatic with her girlfriend. traumatic. There was lots of fighting and childhood, drinking, drug use, suicide abuse in my household... There was just a attempts, his art and 15 years of As an artist, what was your greatest lot of turmoil, a lot of pain. It was hidden. continuous sobriety. fear about getting sober? People didn’t know outside the household There are all these ideas that I had heard what was going on. There was some hapLet’s start at the beginning. Growing about and read about. The idea of being piness, but definitely a lot of hiding and up, what were your childhood dreams? creative while drinking. And I bought some feelings being covered up for sure. Describe your early cast of characters into that to justify my drinking and using and the storyline. drugs. It was all a bunch of bullshit. It Did you grow up with both parents? Early on I wanted to be a hairstylist. I grew wasn’t until I got sober that I was able Yes, I grew up with both parents. When I up in my aunt’s beauty parlor on the New to maneuver through that process of bewas 11 years old my mother came out as a Hampshire border, Kathy’s Beauty Nook.
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ing creative, and finding my creativity through being sober. How has your recovery affected the artist in you and vice versa? Well it definitely has been a rollercoaster ride for me— I was first introduced to AA and got sober when I was 15. But then went in and out of the program from the age of 15 to 22. That was a long time being a chronic relapser, doing it all different kinds of ways, and living with these false ideas about my creativity, or why I was drinking, or why I couldn’t get sober. Then I was sober for four years without AA. I was a dry drunk. That was a really painful process because I didn’t have the tools, or a community of people. I was sort of bulldozing through life still, and reacting to situations. Then when I got sober at 28—my sobriety allowed me to really go within. I feel where my creativity comes from. It’s not from outside of me. When I was using and drinking it was definitely covered up. There were blocks in front of it. The process of getting sober, working through those blocks, really being honest, has also been a big part of my creativity. I feel like a lot of what I go through, because I do a lot of self-portraits, and a lot of my stuff is making comments about my life, my upbringing, where I’m from, my place in society, looking at myself as a gay male, especially my earlier work was definitely about that. Using myself as a subject to sort of poke fun at myself, without offending somebody else. My life has been an influence on my art. My art has definitely guided my life. How would you say sobriety has affected your art? Well, for me the thing about getting sober is that I have intuition today. That’s something that I didn’t have for a really long time. Before I got sober, it was just like life just happened. I sort of struggled with the idea of making art. I had people that influenced me, and my work sort of piggybacked that work. In 1999 I was in a group show and I realized a lot of the work looked the same. It was my responsibility as an artist to cultivate my style and find my voice as an artist. That was a big turning point for me. A year later I got sober, and that really catapulted my work as well. continues on next page SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 39
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At what point in your recovery did you begin to know your value? That’s a good question! It took me a while to understand my value. It wasn’t until I began to get recognition for my work that I realized that the work that I was making was really important. It sort of snuck up on me. I started getting emails from people saying how courageous my work was. I realized that I’m just the vehicle. My work comes through me. Putting yourself out there can be very challenging. I’ve gotten hate mail before. I’ve had to be cautious of how I present myself because people can be aggressive. What do you do to keep your recovery going as your world gets busier? I make my recovery the number one thing in my life. It comes before my marriage, my work, before everything. I have the life I have today because of my recovery. It’s about staying connected. Going to meetings, having a sponsor, and staying grounded. Showing up and being consistent is what it’s about for me. I know that I
can’t do it all by myself. I know that I can get very complacent really fast. What’s your greatest fear? Complacency. I don’t want to become stagnant. Life is too short and too big, and I want to experience all I can. You mentioned that you are married. Can you tell us how your intimacy has evolved in your recovery? You have to show up for another person. Instinctively, I’m selfish. To show up 100% for another person is challenging. But it’s the commitment that I need to grow with this person. That’s the most intimate thing for me. And also to allow someone to see me 100% of who I am. I’m really good at putting walls up. Being intimate with someone goes further than being sexually active with someone. How do you respond to good things happening to you? It took me a while to be okay with good
things happening to me. Because of my past, and being comfortable in the discomfort. I was really good at manipulating situations where I would feel bad. But through recovery, I’ve learned to be grateful and present. I have to remember that the good things happening in my life are not because of me. I say that because I feel that my work comes through me. I can’t take credit for that. It’s humbling. When good things happen I can celebrate them. Congratulations on 15 years of continuous sobriety. What did you do to celebrate? Went to a meeting. I’m not one for big celebrations. What 5 words describe the essence of John? Compassionate, loyal, caring, fun, courageous. John Arsenault is represented by ClampArt Gallery NYC—www.clampart.com. For more about John’s work visit www.johnarsenaultphotography.com. Instagram: johnarsenaultphoto.
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Chris Thomas, MS, MFTI, a Primary Therapist at Foundations Recovery Network, on struggling with secrets and effective patient-centered care.
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oundations Recovery Network’s (FRN) state-of-the-art residential treatment facilities across the country are dedicated to treating both addiction and mental health conditions. With residential and outpatient treatment centers in Palm Springs, Santa Monica, San Diego and San Francisco— their motivational approach, incorporating 12-Step principles, has earned recognition for effective patient-centered care that preserves the dignity of their patients and improves their quality of life. Chris Thomas, MS, MFTI, currently a Primary Therapist at Foundations San Diego, began his journey with FRN in 2012 as a family therapist in the family program at Michael’s House, FRN’s treatment facility in Palm Springs.
PROGRESSIVE PROGRAM “It was the amazing curriculum they offered that sold me on the job,” reveals Thomas in an interview with THE FIGHT. “I feel blessed to have joined such a progres4 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
sive program that uses evidence-based practices in a whole continuum of care.” “The system of care typically starts with the admissions center who screens and places individuals into the most appropriate program, taking into consideration the individual’s needs, insurance coverage and urgency,” explains Thomas. “Many times folks who reach out to the admissions coordinators are in treatment within 72 hours. Many patients begin the recovery journey in one of our residential program stabilization programs that provide medically supervised detoxification from drugs and alcohol. Once medically cleared, the individual would then be transferred to residential level of care. The curriculum in the residential program is on a six-week rotation, so FRN can tailor the length of stay depending on clinical recommendations from the therapist. We are very patient centered and work with the individual to make sure that they get a strong foundation to continue their recovery in an outpatient setting.”
TRY TO HIDE As a prior member of the San Diego HIV Prevention Planning Board, Thomas, a gay man, sober since September 13, 1994, says that he understands the “unique challenges to recovery such as HIV, Hepatitis B and C, and co-occurring mental health disorders.” When asked about the relatively high addiction rates in the LGBT community Thomas states that “there is an increased amount of shame and guilt that stems from the coming out process. Many of my LGBT patients have experienced abandonment from their families, religious persecution and loss of identity.” “I believe that struggling with secrets, which becomes a way of like for many in an effort to stay safe in society, can perpetuate shame and guilt,” says Thomas. “The shame and guilt an addict or an alcoholic experiences is very similar. So in a way, many LGBT addicts and alcoholics are recreating the same pattern they lived while trying to hide their sexuality as they try to hide their addictions.”
>> CHRIS THOMAS, MS, MFTI <<
SEX-DRUG LINK
jelly. I try and talk to all my patients about “Sadly, internet setting up realis“I also believe addictions and sexual tic boundaries that in the compulsivity are just a couple of around sober internet age, sex, meaning there are so the cross-addiction behaviors that that (a) it many ways many in early recovery from drug and doesn’t to connect alcohol addiction fall into. And it can last as long with folks be tough to stay sober while acting out and (b) it is that lead to much more unhealthy sexually. I am extra cautious with my intimate behavgay men who are recovering from (which can iors,” states methamphetamine addictions make one feel Thomas. because most of them have a too vulnerable “Sadly, internet too soon). addictions and strong sex-drug link.” sexual compulsivity are just a couple of the PERFECT cross-addiction behaviors POSITION that many in early recovery from “I have found that each FRN drug and alcohol addiction fall into. And it facility integrates its program with the best can be tough to stay sober while acting out of the community they reside in,” states sexually. I am extra cautious with my gay Thomas. All of the programs utilize the men who are recovering from methamphetsame system of care, but each facility has amine addictions because most of them its own feel. In Palm Springs, the desert have a strong sex-drug link. For them, sex landscape provided amazing hikes and outand drugs go together like peanut butter and ings that are unique to the area, such as the
Palm Springs Aerial Tramway. This tramway takes folks up one mile through three different ecological zones to the top of the San Jacinto Mountains, where they get to go on a hike and take in the amazing views.” “In San Diego, we recently took our clients to Coronado Island via the Coronado ferry,” reveals Thomas. “It was an amazing day with awesome views of the San Diego skyline and the famous Coronado Bridge. The pizza was really good too!” In conclusion, says Thomas, “I know it sounds a bit self serving—but honestly— the staff I have met at all the FRN facilities are top notch. I recall coming home after my first week at Michael’s House and Foundations San Diego and thinking, ‘Everyone is in the perfect position for his or her talents and abilities. They all work together so nicely, and I’m blessed to be part of this organization. I’m going to like it here.’ And, I do!” CHRIS THOMAS, For more information on all of MS, MFTI FRN’s facilities please visit:
www.foundationsrecoverynetwork.com.
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>> LEATHERMEN <<
an article in a local gay magazine—there is one little piece of information that makes this story very different than a standard business profile. Jorge Usatorres is sober. In recovery. With over 14 years of continuous sobriety. You got questions? So did we. We asked, Usatorres responded. Here’s the interview. As a sober man—how did you decide to purchase a bar? Well, I meditated and I prayed, which is my practice, and I really reflected to see what I’m directed to do. In my meditation—because my recovery is first and foremost—I had to make sure everything was spiritually sound. I’m not here to drink, I’m here to serve. What I got is that my investment in this thing was not about my not being able to handle it or not being able to stay sober, but it was about my contribution to the people who work here and people who come here to have a good time. Then I backed up a little and thought, OK, I’m good. I know I can handle the business—I’ve done it before. It was a healthy conversation that I had with myself through meditation, which settled all the questions and brought me clarity. Why did you decide to get sober? My sober date is January 29, 2001. I was empty in every way, shape and form. I was empty spiritually and emotionally. I wanted more out of me than I was getting from me. I decided that no matter how difficult—I needed to live a lovely sober life... I had something inside tell me that I was worth it. I believe that when you present something to the universe people show up. The universe is here to assist,
A Sober Man Walks Into A Bar... Faultline Bar owner Jorge Usatorres on rebranding a business, solid foundations and sobriety.
A
BY PA U LO MU RILLO | PH O TO BY D U STI CUNNI NGHAM
little over a year ago a gay businessman by the name of Jorge Usatorres became the new owner of the legendary Faultline Bar in Los Angeles. In an interview with THE FIGHT 4 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
Usatorres talked about the challenges and the joys of rebranding and reinvigorating the bar, working with the community and his plans to possibly open an additional Faultline elsewhere in Southern California. While all of the above definitely warrants
conspire with and partner with you, is what I believe, and it’s been a lovely path.
Did you go to bars as a sober man before you acquired Faultline? Yes. Being around alcohol is not an issue for me. I’m careful. I don’t play with it. At the beginning of my deciding to change my life and begin this recovery life, I had to do a significant amount of work to be clear, so that I was serious about living this healthy, spiritual, purposeful life.
> > J O R G E U S AT O R R E S < <
How do you respond when people ask you why would a sober man want to own a bar? Someone’s got to keep an eye on the crazies, I tell them, and they love it, and it’s true. The fact that I’m sober and I don’t drink, or I’m in recovery—that whole idea—my way of life—would only be a problem if I wasn’t okay with it. It’s just like being gay. If I’m okay with me, people are okay with me. Have you had any criticism or resistance from the recovery community after purchasing a bar? Yes, to a degree, but if I am solid in where I stand. It’s like building a house... you better have a solid foundation. When somebody says something negative, I have to look at where they’re coming from... There is nothing wrong with people having a great time and having a drink. I just don’t. And I can have a great time being around others who do. I can see those people who may need some help, and I am here for them and will offer help if necessary. I am here to keep an eye on those that may get off base and I make it a point
step in and give them a bottle of water. I spend a lot of money giving away water. My staff is instructed to slow someone down who is a little off and offer them water and sit them down and tell them to relax. You’ve had a little too much to drink. Have some water. Take a breath. On us. That’s a policy here. What do you do when you see a person order a beer who you know has been sober for a number of years? It’s happened a lot. People are human. Their reasons for drinking are none of my business, but usually I come and ask how they are, because it’s not about the drink—the drink is a result of whatever is happening that’s leading to that drink. You may need to talk and I may be able to talk you out of that first drink, but if you choose to drink, I am no one to deny you your spiritual path. That drink may be what you need to get you to make a decision that drinking isn’t the way you want to live. I will acknowledge that you’re there. I will never shame you, because it is none of my business. What is my busi-
ness is to give you support and know that you have somebody here. How would you describe the Faultline patron? This place is all about community. We have every demographic regardless of age, whether it’s transgender, bear or twink—it is really where all roads intersect and it’s comfortable —where you can just feel free and enjoy yourself. Are you happy being the owner of the Faultline Bar? I’m very happy. I love the challenge of rebranding this place and getting it up to a place that’s been reinvigorated. It’s powerful. It’s a name to be reckoned with. I saw a possibility for this brand to continue to live on past the 21 and-a-half years that it has and give the gay community a lovely experience. I believe that because I’m so driven, there must be something around the corner that I can bring to the community. I’m excited on either another Faultline in San Diego, Long Beach, Palm Springs...you never know. I let the universe dictate and I’ll have a great time.
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>> DR. RALPH CARSON <<
Work In Progress
No “before and after” epiphany turns dung into roses. That is the hidden story, the hard work of recovery.
M
any of us who’ve never struggled with addictions have a sort of fantasy about how someone recovers from alcoholism and drug addiction: you “hit bottom,” and then “you have an epiphany,” and then life gets rosy. Old myths are hard to get rid of. When you talk to people in recovery, the reality is a lot more puzzling. Maybe asking how recovery happens is more like asking, how do you fall out of love with a partner who’s bad for you? There are some common threads—saying goodbye, staying goodbyed, waiting... Time in sobriety can eventually rewire most of the cravings and a lot of the need. But everyone’s progress is different. Many who have spent as much time in the grips of addiction as Jeff M. find it difficult to cite a specific cause for sobriety. Jeff considers: “When I went into the facility I was like 47 years old already. I was already finished with my party days, my clubbing days. I was in a relationship long-term, and that had a lot to do with it.” For Jeff, growing up gay in the 70s, “the in crowd was the party crowd—that was the only place that we could meet— bars and clubs and drinking establishments.” The club scene for Jeff’s crowd meant trolling, drunken loss of inhibitions, unleashed erotic behavior, and “skin is in.”
SPECIFIC STRESSORS This culture is sometimes cited as one of the reasons the rate of alcoholism and drug addiction within the LGBT community is conspicuously higher than it is among the general population. And it is higher. Estimates from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggest a consistent disparity between general and LGBT populations in the rates of highrisk behaviors. Gay men, these estimates 4 6 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
BY JOHN RENALDO
say, are 3.5 times more likely to use marijuana, 9.5 times more likely to use heroin, and 12.2 times more likely to use amphetamines than their heterosexual counterparts. Studies try to pinpoint the reasons for this disparity. The National Institutes of Medicine and Health, citing a study by McKirnan DJ1, Peterson PL, have said that the prevalence of substance abuse (especially later in life) within the LGBT community “may reflect culturally specific stressors and vulnerability to substance use [among other things].”
“The three things that trigger addiction are trauma, stress, and grief,” says Dr. Ralph Carson of American Addiction Centers. “The degree of trauma predicts the degree of addiction.” For Jeff, who had seen the inside of at least one jail, compliments of alcohol, life at 47 was reduced to working, buying alcohol on the way home, and falling into a stupor. Both Jeff and his partner drank heavily. Drinking, Jeff says, was the one thing they shared together as a couple. But at home, the reality of their sharing was that each went his separate way, into his separate stupor, in a “together alone” existence. “We didn’t notice each other much,” Jeff recalls, “because we were both getting drunk—on our way home pick up a bottle—that was our life for 20 years.”
Under the heading of “culturally specific stressors” one of the most often cited triggers for substance vulnerability is childhood bullying. A recent nationwide survey of LGBT youth reports that 84.6% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed, 40.1% reported being physically assaulted at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation. Findings about the larger culture into which LGBT youth are trying to find their way are disturbing. “In a study of middle and high school students, 30% of 7th graders (10.8% of 12th graders) indicated that they would not remain friends with someone if they disclosed that they were gay. Further, 44.5% of 7th graders (20.6% of 12th graders) would prefer to attend a school where there were no gay or lesbian students.” If this was true in 2009, how much more bleak was the high school environment when Jeff was growing up in the 1970s? “Younger people who were not gay made comments about me—it’s a bullying thing—you were made to feel like you’re an outcast. And you escape by drinking.” Thinking back, Jeff can remember being ashamed of who he was and afraid someone would find out. “I remembered hearing I could be arrested just being [sexually] with another person of my same sex. I thought, ‘how are they even going to find out?’—but in the back of my mind it was there all the time.” Jeff says that drinking made it so he “didn’t care.” “The three things that trigger addiction are trauma, stress, and grief,” says Dr. Ralph Carson of American Addiction Centers. “The degree of trauma predicts the degree of addiction.” A 2002 study concurs. “LGB youth
>> DAVID REST <<
who were victimized reported more risky behaviors than non-victimized LGB youth.”
FAMILY REJECTION In spite of being bullied, Jeff was luckier than many LGBT individuals growing up in the same time period. He enjoyed a supportive family. Research by Georgetown University suggests that lack of acceptance from family increases the risk of drug and alcohol addiction. “As with risk for suicide, gay and transgender young people with high levels of family rejection were more than 3 times as likely to use illegal drugs compared with LGBT young people from families with little or no rejection. Their use of illegal drugs was cut in half when families were moderately rejecting.” Fortunately for Jeff, his brother Tom reports that everyone in the family knew— before Jeff came out. “When he told all of us, he was shocked by our acceptance and knowledge,” Tom says. “If we were more open in our communication with one another we may have been able to address his addiction sooner. But, he’s clean and sober today and that is what matters.” Even at 47 with his party days behind him, a family putting its foot down, and a partner to support him, Jeff did not want to go into treatment for alcoholism. He was pushed in, on pain of being disconnected by his family, who until this point had not only supported him, but bailed him out of trouble, and even laughed at his drunken antics. “I was furious,” Jeff remembers. “I
wrote what I thought was the best lawyerstyle letter about why I shouldn’t be going into treatment.” At this point in Jeff’s struggle, a small conversation turned his head around. He was out in the parking lot at the Singer Island treatment facility in Florida, smoking a cigarette (another “risk behavior” disproportionately practiced in the LGBT community). A fellow resident in treatment approached him and they chatted together. “I was, ‘they’re trying to brain wash me,’” Jeff recalls, “and he said, ‘well, maybe your brain needs to be washed.’” From that point, he gave treatment a chance. One might be tempted to call that the mythic “addiction epiphany.” But Jeff cautions that it is really not that simple. Many people are in and out of treatment, over and over. It is true that treatment can lead the proverbial horse to water. “The biggest thing that I think really works,” Jeff says, “is that 28 days of being off of it.” But the horse has to continue to choose, all on his own, to drink water not alcohol. “I think the main thing—you have to want to give it up.” And so far, Jeff’s story has a happy after: “Sober for three years and don’t see myself falling back into it again.” It helped that when Jeff went into treatment, his 30-year partner Antonio promised to stop drinking as well. “When I got out [of treatment] and saw [Antonio was really sober, too], I was so proud of him, and he of me.” Having a recovery partner can be a powerful force for long-term sobriety.
Together in recovery Jeff and Antonio have struggled their way to the new life myths are made of—happily after, for sure, though the “ever” of recovery is never certain. Recovery is always a work in progress. No “before and after” epiphany turns dung into roses. That is the hidden story, the hard work of recovery. Life has not been easy for Jeff and Antonio. Since the couple gained sobriety, they were evicted, gnarled up in an ugly court case, and put through “moving hell,” as Jeff calls it. Jeff had to drag himself back time and again to the mediation table when he just wanted the ugliness to go away. Any one of these things could trigger a relapse, and probably has for many others. That both Jeff and Antonio held onto their sobriety through the hell is a testament to its strength. And so is their improved relationship—which has grown closer not only by a new apartment, but by a wedding, just days after gay marriage became legal in Florida. The hardest tests can lead to the biggest gains. Recovery is like that, full of tests upon tests—but so is life. On the day of Jeff’s interview for this article, he and Antonio were out buying furniture for their new apartment—the likes of which they could never afford when all their money went into alcohol. Jeff is thrilled that the new digs are “in the heart of downtown Fort Lauderdale, the art district.” “I would have never had the fortitude to do all that if I was drunk,” Jeff admits. “I couldn’t believe myself. I thanked myself.” SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 47
THEPROFILE >> ROHINI GOLDSTEIN <<
“I don’t know what it’s like to have HIV or AIDS, but as a breast cancer survivor, I know what it means to need help.”
WE ARE FAMILY
Rohini Goldstein, founder of Beverly Hills Medical Plaza Pharmacy: fighting the good fight. BY VICTO R MELA MED
A
s I sit in the pharmacy staring at the décollage of butterflies glittering in an array of ivy branches, I hear the sound of stiletto heels embracing the ground. Always dressed to impress, founder and owner Rohini Goldstein is trending in a St. John’s pant suit from the late 90’s— an outfit presidential candidate Hillary Clinton would swoon over. Before addressing me, she heads straight towards one of her patients—a man who has been receiving his HIV medication from her for over 20 years. Recently
attending his mother’s funeral with him, Rohini checks in with him to see how he is doing mentally and physically. Holding her signature orchids, she rushes over to me to greet me. When I ask her about her agenda for the day, she outlines a laundry list of items specific to the patients who need her most. Identifying prescription discount cards and co-pay assistance programs are at the top of her to-do’s, followed by a directory of the names of physicians she must contact in order to initiate prior authorizations. Rohini needs to meet with her drug wholesaler to ensure the shipment and quantities of vital medications arrive on time. Ultimately, her goal for the day is to provide patients with the medication they need for an affordable price as soon as possible. Intrigued by her passion and drive to serve her patients, I ask her why she goes above and beyond the expectations of a pharmacy. She shares with me, “I don’t
know what it’s like to have HIV or AIDS, but as a breast cancer survivor, I know what it means to need help.” She elaborates by touring me around the pharmacy, outlining the details of gift items and decorations she hand-picked to make the front-end more inviting and warm than your average drug store. She shows me her hybrid vehicle, which she purchased to make her complimentary deliveries more affordable for her bottom line. Noting that several of her relatives work at the pharmacy, she states, “It’s simple. I want to extend the constructs of my family to my patients. I need every customer to feel that we are not only their advocates in health, but also, part of their support system to ensure their very well being. I’m here to fight the good fight, and make HIV/AIDS a thing of the past.” n Rohini Goldstein is the Founder of Beverly Hills Medical Plaza Pharmacy, located at 150 N. Robertson Blvd. in Beverly Hills, CA.
It’s Time To Join
Are You Passionate About The LGBTQ Community? Become An Advertising Sales Executive for THE FIGHT! If you have outside sales experience and would like to join our team 4 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
R
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THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY
THESHARE >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<
CELEBRATING RECOVERY
In recognition of National Recovery Month we asked people with different lengths of recovery time what this time of year means to them as sober individuals. ERIC ALMOND
MORE REFLECTIVE
“I’m in recovery and I also have a mental health diagnosis, so it is very important to me to have people made aware of people in recovery and substance abuse issues as well as mental health issues, because a lot of times they’re intertwined. This month makes me more reflective of my own recovery and the people I’ve lost in recovery. My ex-boyfriend was a heroin addict and he took his own life about two years ago. Now I work in recovery and I wish the government used this month as an opportunity to invest more money to help more people recover.” —Eric Almond, sober since August, 2013.
EVERY DAY “Honestly I never know what month National Recovery Month falls on because it is not publicized very much. The way I see it, my recovery is always with me. I think about it every day, so this month doesn’t impact me individually. I think it brings awareness to our community across multiple levels of recovery whether it’s over-eating or alcohol, but it’s just another day for me. I’m just JASON FRAZIER trying to get through the day, one day at a time and at the end of the day I thank God I’m still sober.” —Jason Frazier, sober since January, 2007.
5 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
SUPPORT NETWORK “Recovery is a big umbrella term that means so many different things. If more people are aware of the many conditions people have in our society that we need to recover from—not just from drugs and alcohol, but depression and other mental issues as well, like depresBRIAN HAMILTON sion and PTSD, we’d see more people seeking recovery. What comes to mind during National Recovery month is first of all, gratitude for the support network in the community where I live, because I don’t have to go more than say 50 feet to find someone who is sober.” —Brian Hamilton, sober since June, 2003.
BEING HONEST “For me, being sober was the only other option left in a life that had become sad, lonely and full of fear. In the beginning it was definitely scary. I never thought I’d build such a JOSE strong support and desire to remain sober. GARCIA Today staying sober is easy. I get to enjoy life in all of its beautiful aspects. My sobriety has consistently challenged me, whether it be by returning to school to earn a Bachelor’s Degree in finance or discovering passions I never knew I had. I stay sober by being honest with myself, attending meetings, working with my sponsor and being of service to others suffering, much like I was many years ago.” —Jose Garcia, sober since May 8, 2008.
TRULY AMAZING “National Recovery Month is a wonderful thing. Celebrating recovery forces people to see it. I get a little relief knowing that carrying out the message of recovery has been delegated on a national level. It is truly amazing to see people celebrating sobriDONALD LAYMAN ety—especially when they’re young—like 20 or 25—and they’re sober and they’re able to have careers and are able to go out in public as sober individuals without facing a stigma that they are in recovery. The idea of keeping sobriety secret has been misinterpreted. Back in the day, you could get fired for being an alcoholic. Today we celebrate it. —Donald Layman, sober since January, 1999.
• Individual Counseling • Couples Counseling • Group Counseling • Intensive Outpatient Program
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THEJOYSTICK
THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY
>> VIDEO GAMES <<
Some gamers can go days without eating. Or some excessively eat and hardly sleep causing them to miss work, phone calls, social events... Did this ever happen to you? It never got to that point for me. But, I think that I was receiving a sense of fellowship, politeness, and camaraderie that I wasn’t getting in my real life... The acceptance and closeness to some of the players was nice. My ex showed me attention but in a different unfulfilling way. But there was something that just wasn’t filling my tank that online games was doing.
JEFF YOUNG
FILLING THE VOID
Most of us enjoy playing video games. But some people can become addicted to gaming. Like all other good things in life—it’s all good in moderation. World 8 encourages you to play responsibly. BY JO SEPH A RELLA N O
M
Do you think that such an addiction, similar to Monster Hunter, will ever come back? With Monster Hunter I was filling a void that my real life wasn’t. Now I sometimes think ahead and avoid playing some games. For example, one of my go to games is Super Smash Bros. It is one of those games that I can turn on, play, and turn off and be completely done. There is nothing that I will miss. But if it was a Role Playing Game... There is always something to do or the story is so expansive that if I don’t keep playing I will forget. So the need to keep playing is there.
any people get addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, and even gambling. But one of the most common addictions today doesn’t come from a substance or a white powder, it comes from the visceral stimulation and interaction of video-games. Jeff Young, originally from Indonesia, is one of those victims turned fearless warriors to overcome video game addiction. (Eat your heart out Zelda). At the age of 31 Young is dancing through life and making huge level ups towards his selfdiscipline and acceptance. He has a great job, events and an awesome, freaking cool tumblr page featuring sweet Link. The Tumblr name is kangataz... look him up...it is pretty badass.
Do you feel that this kind of addiction is as destructive as the addiction to drugs and alcohol? Some people say I could be involved with worse things...it could be drugs, it could be sex...But just like any other addiction it is still destructive towards life. It was destructive towards my life.
So what did video games do to you? I think that at that time in my life there were things such as relationship problems that threw me into playing the video game Monster Hunter a lot. There can be a lot of factors or problems that push you into that escape.
Do you have any advice for others in a similar situation? I think, for me anyway, counseling helped and being social without a screen, to me, is a better fulfillment...but when we are left alone to our own devices..our minds can play tricks on us...We as humans need human interaction. We just have to be careful that we don’t miss it and try to fill the void with something else. n
How did gaming get to be so severe? I played video-games mostly because I would play with my other half and for fun. Then suddenly down the line I started playing more and more and he played less and we drifted apart...He began to stay and watch TV in the main bedroom and I moved into the guest bedroom.
“Suddenly I started playing more and more and he played less and we drifted apart... He began to stay and watch TV in the main bedroom and I moved into the guest bedroom.” 5 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
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5 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
2 OFFICES FOR LEASE IN WEST HOLLYWOOD! • 650 square feet • 500 square feet 7925 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90046 Please call Hooman at
(310) 560-8770
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THEEVENT >> PHOTOS BY ROBERT GREEN <<
ONYX at EAGLE LA
O
NYX SoCal/Southwest Leather Men Of Color celebrated the formation of their new chapter and home bar Eagle LA last month. ONYX holds a beer bust at the Eagle every 2nd Sunday of the month, with raffles, door prizes, and go-go dancers. For more information visit onyxmen.com.
5 6 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
>> PHOTOS BY PINCHE PONCE PHOTOGRAPHY <<
FOXHOLE at THE BULLET
T
he Bullet Bar in North Hollywood took a trip into the past last month transforming into a vintage bathhouse themed party. A Green Mirror Entertainment presentation窶認oxHole was sponsored by the Bullet Bar, Spunk Lube and THE FIGHT Magazine.
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THE FIGHT Magazine and La Fuente invite you to
RECOVERY ROCKS! Compete In The “Sissy That Rock” Competition For A FREE 3-Month Membership To LA Boulder. Admission is $15 and includes climbing gear.
5 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
at LA Boulder—benefiting The McIntyre House. Join us for an afternoon of rock climbing, yoga and fundraising on Sunday, September 27, 1pm-5pm, at LA Boulder, 1375 E 6th Street #8, Los Angeles, CA 90021.
THECOMMUNITY >> M Y 1 2 S T E P S T O R E <<
GIVING BACK
My 12 Step Store turns 12. BY PA U LO MU RILLO
M
y 12 Step Store—the 12-step recovery-related boutique—located in the heart of West Hollywood, celebrates 12 years of love and service in September, during National Recovery Month. The store, specializing in celebrating the journey of recovery, with unique and edgy recovery-related gifts, books, jewelry, apparel, specialty medallions, 12-step meeting chips, and much more, originally opened in September of 2003 on Sunset Boulevard and Wilcox Ave, in Hollywood, before transitioning to 8730 Santa Monica Boulevard in WeHo, where it stands today and continues to serve many walks of lives who are afflicted by addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, love, food, and co-dependency...to name a few, as well as the people who support those they love in recovery. “The entire store is a miracle,” My 12 Step Store founder and director of marketing and outreach, RJ Holguin, tells THE FIGHT. “I set out 12 years ago on this journey as a way to simply stay connected to recovery and give back. Over the years, it’s taken turns beyond my wildest dreams. Along the way, I’ve realized there is a far bigger force than any of us,” says Holguin, who recently celebrated 29 years of continuous sobriety. My 12 Step Store, run by individuals in recovery, is also home to the exclusive “Speaker Water” for people who speak at meetings. A recent line of mints (RESENTmints, AMENDSmints and Sober Kisses Mints) have also been added the list of unique sober gifts and the “You Are Not Alone” sign remains lit 24/7, as a beacon of hope to anyone who might have a problem with addiction. n For more on my 12 step store’s 12th Anniversary, visit my12stepstore.com. SEP TEMB ER 2015 | THE F I GH T 59
THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO <<
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 18
OUT ON THE MOUNTAIN Six Flags Magic Mountain, 26101 Magic Mountain Pkwy, 6pm-1am. Purchase Tickets Online: outonthemountain.com/fight. The annual Magic Mountain GLBT Private Party closed to the general public, with live performance by Courtney Act, hostess Ingenue, live DJs and more.
Sep 26-Oct 3. Contact Tom Stephens at 714-619-8850 or 800-477-1088, or email tom@cruisingwithpride.com for more info or to make your reservations. Join a small group of gays and friends as Royal Caribbean returns to the West Coast for a special 7 night sailing on the beautiful Jewel of the Seas. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
MR. SISTER LEATHER 2016 CONTEST Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, 9pm-2am. Visit facebook.com/LASisters for information. Yes, it’s still 2015, but to give contestants more time to prepare for the Los Angeles Leather Contest, the event has been moved forward by six months. Do you have what it takes to wear the coveted Mr. Sister Leather crown and sash? If so, contact the Los Angeles Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Facebook page. MADONNA BAR LOS ANGELES—RED CARPET LAUNCH PARTY Madonna Bar, 5364 Wilshire Blvd., 9pm. Purchase tickets at rayisaac.com/madonnabar. Get your favorite Madonna costumes ready and celebrate the Exclusive Red Carpet Opening Party of Madonna BAR. Expect Madonna Impersonator Venus D’Lite (Ru Paul, Strange Addictions, Botched). DJ Ray Isaac will spin Madonna Songs, 12 Inch Versions, Rare unreleased songs, Remixes and more! SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
PACIFIC COASTAL GAY GROUP CRUISE Port of Los Angeles, 425 S Palos Verdes St., 6 0 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com
FOLSOM STREET FAIR SAN FRANCISCO On Folsom Street, between 8th and 13th Streets, in San Francisco’s South of Market district, 11am-6pm. For more info visit: www.folsomstreetevents.org. An annual BDSM and leather street fair, that caps San Francisco’s “Leather Pride Week.” Over 200 exhibitor booths showcasing fetish gear and toys, massive live stage with top-name indie, electronic and alternative acts, two huge dance areas spinning underground EDM, public play stations, and an erotic artists’ area with a sick and twisted performance stage. And, yes, you can still be naked, so avail yourself of their coat and clothes check areas as well! TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29
GRACE JONES BOOK SIGNING Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., 5pm. Visit booksoup.com for details. Legendary influential performer Grace Jones signs her book, “I’ll Never Write My Memoirs,” which offers a revealing account of her spectacular career and turbulent life as an artist, singer, model, and actress—a deluxe triple threat.
OCTOBER 4, 2015
BEST IN DRAG SHOW The Orpheum Theatre, Downtown Los Angeles, 7pm. For more info visit: www.alliancehh.org. Annual fundraising event originally benefiting the California-based non-profit, Aid For AIDS. Initiated six years after Aid For AIDS was founded in 1983, the bawdy fundraiser now supports Alliance for Housing and Healing, the non-profit that resulted from the merger of Aid For AIDS and The Serra Project in 2009. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11
AIDS WALK LOS ANGELES West Hollywood, for more info visit: la.aidswalk.net. The 31st annual AIDS Walk Los Angeles (AWLA), which starts and ends in West Hollywood, is expected to draw a crowd of more than 25,000 and raise millions of dollars in support of the tens of thousands of people living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County. The 10k route travels through the streets of West Hollywood and Los Angeles, starting at Melrose Avenue and Santa Monica Boulevard. PROJECT NUNWAYLA The Mayan Theatre, Los Angeles, 5pm. For more info and to purchase tickets visit projectnunwayla.com. Come witness the amazing creations of over 25 Designers as the LA Sisters stomp the Nunway. An extravagant celebration of design, art, fashion, and music, with Special Guest Performances will have you cheering the night away for your favorite Designer. All event proceeds are donated to HIV/AIDS services organizations.
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THEFINALFIGHT >> L A F U E N T E H O L LY W O O D T R E AT M E N T C E N T E R <<
Young Manny
Manny today
REALIZING YOUR DREAMS
Manny Rodriguez, La Fuente Hollywood Treatment Center Executive Director and Founder, on his journey to recovery. BY MA N N Y RO D RIG U EZ
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never saw alcohol in my home, my parents were Pentecostal and my dad worked as a minister. Drinking, cigarette smoking and secular music was not allowed in our home. In fact, any of us caught participating in any of these would pay the price with my dad. I feared him but I tested him and he showed me who was in charge. My parents migrated to New Jersey from Puerto Rico in the mid 50’s with two children and by 1962 there were 11 of us. I am 10th in the lineup. ••• I always loved music, movement and theatrics. Similar activities to these were the only good thing about my dad’s church. My first formal introduction to movement and theater were in a community group. A childhood friend of mine invited me to audition for the community group. I went and was picked. My brother Nicky tagged along as well and was later invited to join the troop. The dilemma now was hiding it from my father. My sister Nilda, the eldest of
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the 11 one day convinced my dad to let us participate. A few years later I went to The School of The Garden State where I was given a scholarship. The drinking and recreational drug use had already begun. ••• In the Spring of 1980, I received an acceptance letter from The Juilliard School in NYC. This was a dream, and it had come true. My brother Nicky had also been accepted which made it even more special. I was asked to withdraw after my second year due to poor attendance and performance. I literally begged the faculty to give me another chance. Martha Hill, Dean of Dance during my enrollment and a force in modern dance, against the advice of few of the faculty believed in me and took me back. I am forever in debt to her! ••• I had the good fortune to work a lot as a dancer but my potential was never fully realized due to my drinking and drugging. In 1985 I tested positive for HIV; a time when it was a death sentence—I was 24. I was working in Las Vegas at the time but my dream job at that time was to join The Paul Taylor Dance Company in NY. After a lot of hard work and sacrifice, Paul
Taylor finally hired me. It was during this time that I was introduced to designer drugs. Excessive drinking, after-hour clubs and touring were not a good match. Paul eventually fired me and it was immediately after this I thought dealing Ecstasy was a great idea. ••• I landed another job in Paris, France soon after being fired and went to work with Regine Chopinot. My illegal activities came with me, that I did not end up in a jail in France was pure luck. A lot happened while living and working in France, for one: my using continued to escalate and my partner Jose who moved to France with me died of AIDS our first year there. Heartbroken, addicted and disappointed, I abandoned my dance career and moved back to NY. ••• In 1992 I found myself in Los Angeles where I worked as a nightclub promoter. Again my use increased and I began to experience paranoia. Bouncing back was getting more and more difficult. On August 23, 1993, I woke up sick and feeling desperate. I knew my family would bury me soon if I did not get help. I sought professional counseling that afternoon and one day at a time with the help of so many professionals, my loving family/friends and trudging buddies I have not had to drink or use any substance to help me change how I feel. ••• My dad and I spent time in Miami a week after my mother passed away in 2001 and out of nowhere he said to me “Manny, never stop dreaming!” I had no idea that he had been paying attention to my dreams all along. n
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