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MAY 2013 | T H E F I GH T 7

THECONTENTS

>> JUNE 2013 <<

COVER STORIES AND FEATURES ROGERS COMES OUT 19 ROBBIE Joins Los Angeles Galaxy

MARIA 20 PROUD Maria Menounos Parade Grand Marshal END BOYS 22 WEST Sign of Hope in West Hollywood ENVELOPE, PLEASE 24 THE Christopher Street West Honorees FACE FORWARD 32 BEST Assisting Domestic Violence Victims START KIT 34 KICK Mad Men’s Kit Williamson THE TRENCHES 36 BELOW Women Soldiers Fighting as Men OUT LOUD 38 LIVE Your Gay Value And Worth BREATH YOU TAKE 42 EVERY Ellen’s Favorite Air Purifier IN MOTION 43 MAN Michael Holtz On “72 Hours” BUSINESS 44 FRISKY Selecting The Perfect Sex Toys

ON THE COVER

MAIN PHOTO: KIT WILLIAMSON. PHOTO BY: Bobby Quillard, www.quillardinc.com UPPER LEFT PHOTO: Courtesy of Dr. David Shouhed UPPER RIGHT PHOTO: Photo by Frank Louis DEPARTMENTS 16 THE STATE Champions Of Change 18 THE CITY One City One Pride 26 THE PROFILE Dr. David Shouhed 30 THE ROSTOW REPORT French Kiss 37 THE FAMILY Immigrant Families Abandoned 40 THE LAW The “Tox” of Botox 41 THE BODY Healthy Weight Loss 48 THE EPIDEMIC Ashes To Ashes 49 THE MUSIC Sir Ari Gold 50 THE EVENT Cinco De Mayo Fiesta 52 THE CALENDAR Events, Groups

36 8 T H E F I GH T | J UN E 2013

46 THE FINAL FIGHT My Enduring Truth

MAY 2013 | T H E F I GH T 9

THEEDITOR

>> JUNE 2013 <<

l “If you look up ‘pride’ in the dictionary you will find these synonyms: self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth, dignity, healthy ego. Esteem infers highly regarding, valuing, or admiring. As a gay man (or lesbian, bisexual and transgender person) what is the status of your selfesteem, self-valuing, self-regard?” asks West Hollywood based psychotherapist Thomas Mondragon, LMFT, in this issue (“Matter of Pride,” page 38). “We’ve experienced 35 years of rights gained in the arena of basic human needs, a better understanding and appreciation of our rich identities, greater visibility and acceptance, and important attempts to love and relate on our terms versus heterosexually defined expectations that otherwise render us invisible,” states Mondragon. However, says Mondragon, “healthy self-regard comes not only from sociopolitical advances or being able to be out and proud. Healthy self-regard also comes from that most numinous relationship a gay man, for instance, has with one’s self—having an attitude that says, ‘I am willing to look inside with courage and honest self-appraisal,’ rooted in the desire to feel ‘I am worthy, lovable, and valuable because I am gay.’” The unnamed wish at the heart of a gay pride celebration, underneath all its extroverted activities, is a gay, mind-blowing, soulful life of meaning, states Mondragon. According to this issue’s cover model, Mad Men’s Kit Williamson, “gay pride is important because unlike a lot of other communities LGBT people come together from many different cultures and backgrounds ... I think pride is the thing that unites us,” states Williamson (“Kick Start Kit,” page 34). “We should always honor our diversity but remember that we have a common cause—equality for everyone.” Also in this issue, Paulo Murillo, in a love letter to his city of residence, writes about what the old West Hollywood sign, perched on a small hill in the center of WeHo, meant to him as a young gay boy (“West End Boys,” page 22). The sign, no longer in existence, with its white letters, mocked the original Hollywood symbol. “The sign became a symbol of hope for me,” writes Murillo. “Whenever my mother tried to beat the gay out of me, I would think about that sign and fantasize about running away to this almost magical place where it was safe to be gay and guys were free to fry their hair and be all the things that grownups didn’t want me to be.” That sign, writes Murillo, “also led me to the city where I live today—Hello West Hollywood! Many moons later, I still love you.”

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS John Michael Gamban Paul Vallejo Ryan King Lisa Radamaker SOCIAL MEDIA Tim Kreslake WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio

GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com

THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2013 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

1 0 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001

MAY 2013 | TH E F I GH T 11

THECONTRIBUTORS

>> JUNE 2013 <<

ZINNIA JONES Zinnia Jones is an atheist activist, writer, and video blogger focusing on the impact of religious belief, political follies, and LGBTQ rights. Since 2008 her videos have been viewed over 7 million times. You can reach her on Twitter @Zjemptv. Her YouTube channel is at www.zinniajones.com.

ORLY LYONNE Orly Lyonne is a freelance journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art. Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@gmail.com.

DAVID HAKIMFAR Los Angeles based Attorney David Hakimfar received his law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. While there, he made the Honor Roll and National Dean’s List. Currently David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC. He can be reached at: 1-888-789-PRIDE (7743).

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a biweekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook.

ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow. blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com.

VICTOR MELAMED Victor Melamed began his career in journalism writing for the now-defunct Israeli gay magazine “Magaim.” He is currently working on a novel based on a true story about a love affair between two men on opposite sites of the Middle East conflict.

1 2 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

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THELETTERS

>> JUNE 2013 <<

TOOK UMBRAGE Dear Editor, I took umbrage with “The Rostow Report” in your May issue (THE FIGHT, Issue 028). Although in her opening paragraph Ms. Rostow had some nice things to say about Jason Collins and his coming out, in the very next breath she questions the merit of so much attention being paid to the act. In terms of name recognition, true, I had never heard of him as I don’t follow basketball, but I had also never heard of the Baylor “superstar” Brittney Griner whom according to Ms. Rostow garnered no such “buzz of pleasure and praise from the media.” To draw such a distinction between these two currently active athletes both taking the courageous step of publicly coming out is to, I believe, do a disservice to the gay community in general. While it would have been a much bigger newsflash if a more mainstream figure had come out, the fact that one got more coverage then the other is beside the point. As a former newspaper person, I can tell you it is more sensationally newsworthy that a male did it as traditionally, it is much more taboo in that world. Some misogynists might even go so far as to say it would be more newsworthy if a female athlete with stellar performance wasn’t gay! On another note, I have never written a letter to the editor before, so this is a first for me. While I’ve got your attention, let me also say how much I enjoy the publication. Stellar work! Bob Brown, via the internet

INTEREST SPAN Dear Editor, Just a quick note from a recently retired minister who is gay and just moved from San Francisco to Palm Springs a few months ago. I pick up THE FIGHT at my gym. Thank you for a really fine publication! The variety and diversity of the articles is outstanding. Not being a “hip 25 year old,” (just a “hip 67 year old”) I especially appreciate that your news covers the interest span of all ages. The layout is eye-catching with lots of color. I appreciate having this resource and the hard work it takes to produce such a quality magazine. Ben, via the internet

> WRITE TO THE EDITOR Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements. 14 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 15

THESTATE DANIEL NICOLETTA, DANNYNICOLETTA.COM

>> JUNE 2013 <<

HARVEY MILK

CHAMPIONS OF CHANGE THREE CALIFORNIANS RECEIVE WHITE HOUSE “HARVEY MILK CHAMPION OF CHANGE” HONORS. BY ORLY LYONNE l State Sen. Ricardo Lara (D-Bell Gardens), Redondo Beach Mayor Michael A. Gin and California Secretary of Natural Resources John Laird were honored at the White House last month as one of 10 gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender officials to be named a “Harvey Milk Champion of Change.” Lara’s selection came a month after the California Senate approved his measure RICARDO LARA stripping an exemption from state taxes for groups including the Boy Scouts of America that do not allow gays as members, reports The Los Angeles Times “The fact that three Californians are being honored is telling of the essential role that California plays in advancing equality,” Lara said. The White House ceremony was held on Harvey Milk Day last month, which commemorates the birthday of the former San Francisco County supervisor, the first openly gay public official in California, who was killed by a colleague. “Though much has changed since Harvey Milk’s time, we still have an incredible sense of responsibility to live up to the promises of change that 1 6 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

JOHN LAIRD MICHAEL A. GIN

he lived and died for,” Lara said. “Only in the United States can the son of immigrant parents be elected to serve as a Senator to the eighth largest economy in the world and now be honored by the White House and the President of the United States as a Champion

“Though much has changed since Harvey Milk’s time, we still have an incredible sense of responsibility to live up to the promises of change that he lived and died for.” of Change,” stated Lara in a press release. “Without the efforts of leaders like Harvey Milk, Cesar Chavez and Martin Luther King Jr., this world would be very different. Now it is our turn to work diligently to build better futures for our children and for future generations to come; it’s our responsibility to foster hope, and dreams of justice for all; it’s our duty and privilege to be agents of change.” “Supervisor Milk was an amazing individual and leader, not only for San Francisco, but for our nation and for our entire LGBT community. He served at a time when it was very difficult to be out as a gay man, much less to be an elected public official and out,” Redondo Beach Mayor Michael A. Gin said. “To be honored with an award that bears his name is extremely humbling to me, and perhaps will be one of the greatest honors I think that I will ever receive. Supervisor Milk made it possible for me to live in a world where out members of the LGBT community can serve their communities and our nation openly and proudly.” In August 2009, President Obama honored Harvey Milk posthumously with America’s highest civilian medal. Milk was the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California when he won a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. To honor Harvey Milk’s legacy, the White House recognizes a group of outstanding openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender state and local elected and appointed officials as “Harvey Milk Champions of Change.” n

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 17

THECITY >> JUNE 2013 <<

PETER PAIGE (L), BRADLEY BREDEWEG

FAMILY BUILDING IN HOLLYWOOD l Bradley Bredewg and Peter Paige, cocreators of “The Fosters,” ABC Family’s upcoming drama about a lesbian bi-racial couple raising kids together, were honored last month in Hollywood by the LGBT family nonprofit RaiseAChild.us, at their annual gala. Participants at the event, celebrating the history of LGBT family building, included R. Christine Hershey & Susan Van Horn, the first lesbian couple to adopt in Los Angeles County in 1989. For more info on LGBT family building visit: RaiseAChild.us.

DAVID SEDARIS

OC LGBT CRIMES ON THE RISE

SEDARIS FILM KICKS OFF OUTFEST

l While the number of reported hate crimes in Orange County fell by 21% last year, crimes based on sexual orientation almost doubled, according to a report released last month, reports The Los Angeles Times. While attacks on blacks dropped by nearly half to 13 last year, the number of cases based on sexual orientation climbed to 13 from 8 in 2011. “It’s very disturbing,” said Kevin O’Grady, executive director of The Center OC, serving the Orange County LGBT community. “A lot of it has to do with the very public debate that is going on nationally about LGBT civil rights... The call for civil rights brings our supporters out, but it also brings the opponents out, including those on the darker side,” O’Grady said.

l “C.O.G.,” the first film based on the works of gay humorist David Sedaris, will screen at the Opening Night Gala of the 31st Outfest, the Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival. The gala will be held July 11 at L.A.’s Orpheum Theatre. Prior to the screening, writer/director Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don’t Cry, Carrie) will receive an achievement award, presented in recognition of a body of work that has made a significant contribution to LGBT film and media. Outfest will take place from July 11-21. For more info visit: www.outfest.org.

KEVIN O’GRADY, THE CENTER OC

PHOTO BY MICHELLE MICHALINA TWAROWSKA

ONE CITY ONE PRIDE

MILK HONORED IN WEHO l Students from the Lee Strasberg Theater and Film Institute participated in a short pop-up street theater performance, “A Moment with Harvey Milk,” in honor of and celebrating Harvey Milk last month. The show, which included monologues from Harvey Milk’s speeches, took place at the West Hollywood Library. In 2009, the California State Legislature passed Senate Bill 572 designating every May 22 as “Harvey Milk Day,” commemorating the birthday of Milk, the first openly gay man elected to public office in California. Milk’s story, message and legacy are globally celebrated on his birthday to give hope and inspire disenfranchised communities. 1 8 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

l The City of West Hollywood is celebrating Pride and the artistic contributions of the LGBT community with the One City One Pride queer arts festival. The festival comprises both free and ticketed events featuring theatre, film, music, spoken word, visual art, and more. FROM Participating artists include “TEENS LIKE PHIL” photographer Carolyn Sherer, filmmaker and artist Michael Derry, poet Steven Reigns and “Teens Like Phil” filmmaker Dominic Haxton. For more info, and dates of events, visit: www.weho.org/pride.

CEDARS-SINAI HIV CUTS l Cedars-Sinai Medical Center will reduce its HIV/AIDS treatment and research programs and no longer employ an HIV specialist as of July 1, according to the director of the Infectious Diseases Division, reports James Mills at www.wehoville.com. The director, Dr. David Hardy, says the academic aspects (research, teaching and indigent patient care) are being reduced significantly, leaving West Hollywood residents who get HIV/AIDS care at the non-profit hospital on San Vicente Boulevard scrambling to find treatment, reports wehoville.com.

FIRST OPENLY GAY ATHLETE JOINS LA GALAXY

ROBBIE ROGERS, 26, HOPES TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR LGBT YOUTH. INTERNATIONAL SOCCER STAR ROBBIE ROGERS made history last month as the first openly gay man to participate in a U.S. professional team sports league after he was substituted in for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

The 26-year-old, who has represented the U.S. men’s national soccer team in the 2008 Olympics, returned to the pitch just six weeks after his blog post in which he came out as a gay man and retired from professional sports. Rogers told USA Today that he hopes to be the role model for LGBT youth that he wished he had while he struggled to come out. “I seriously felt like a coward,” he said in the interview. “These kids are standing up for themselves and changing the world ... I have a platform and a voice to be a role model. How much of a coward was I to not step up to the plate?” In his coming out blog post Rogers wrote, in part: “Life is simple when your secret is gone. Gone is the pain that lurks in the stomach at work, the pain from avoiding questions… Secrets can cause so much

internal damage. ... Try convincing yourself that your creator has the most wonderful purpose for you even though you were taught differently.” Rogers is an American soccer player who played several years in Europe before coming out as gay and simultaneously retiring from the sport. Last month, however, he signed an agreement to join the L.A. Galaxy, making him the first openly gay male professional footballer in the MLS. Rogers was training with the Galaxy a few weeks before announcing he was coming out of retirement, but had yet to confirm that he would formally re-enter the sport. “I don’t know what I was so afraid of,” Rogers told the Associated Press last month. “It’s been such a positive experience for me. The one thing I’ve learned from all of this is being gay is not that big of a deal to people.” n

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 19

PROUD MARIA

“EXTRA” TV HOST MARIA MENOUNOS LA’S GAY PRIDE PARADE GRAND MARSHAL. BY ORLY LYONNE TELEVISION HOST MARIA MENOUNOS is the celebrity Grand Marshal of the 2013 LA Pride Parade. The parade takes place Sunday, June 9th at 11am on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. Menounos, actress, journalist, and television presenter, is best known for her work on “The Today Show,” “Access Hollywood,” and “Extra.” She also appeared on last season’s “Dancing With The Stars.” Born in Medford, Massachusetts, to Greek immigrant parents, Menounos won the title of Miss Massachusetts Teen USA in 1996. In 2008 she became the first (and to date the only) journalist to interview the entire Obama family. Christopher Street West (the organization behind the festival and the parade) said that they chose Menounos “for her dedication to the LGBT community and her continuing efforts in using her platform for equality.” According to CSW, Menounos, like so many other celebrities, is “passionate about various issues affecting the LGBT community including anti-bullying, HIV/AIDS and marriage equality.” Through her public outreach, CSW reveals, “Menounos has lent her voice bringing more attention to these issues and has encouraged countless others to do the same.” Menounos’ coverage of the AIDS epidemic in South Africa a few years ago prompted the journalist to create “Take Action Hollywood!,” which works to raise social awareness and improve human conditions through film. Another reason for choosing the “Extra” host, according to CSW’s website, was her “celebratory spirit.” “As in years past,” states CSW, “this year’s Grand Marshal embodies the celebratory spirit, bringing fun and excitement to the Parade route.” “The LGBT Pride Parade represents something truly American,” said Menounos. “It’s the celebration of community, a celebration of uniqueness, diversity and progress, and it’s the celebration of a new United States where we do more than ‘tolerate’ or ‘accept’ our gay brothers and sisters, but embrace and celebrate them.” n For more info visit lapride.org. 2 0 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

JUNE 2013 | TH E F I GH T 21

HOW THE VINTAGE WEST HOLLYWOOD SIGN (NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE) BECAME A SYMBOL OF HOPE FOR ONE GAY BOY. BY PAULO MURILLO I WILL NEVER FORGET that old West Hollywood Sign, perched on a small hill in the center of WeHo, with white letters, mocking the original Hollywood symbol. The year was 1986. Madonna went platinum blonde, Prince could do no wrong, and bands like Genesis sold records; we had Dynasty, Fame, and Remington Steel. And of course, AIDS was winning in those days. I was in the midst of puberty. A sudden growth spurt made me clumsy and painfully awkward in my newly developed twink boy body. I knew I was different in the gay sense and I also knew there were others like me, but I had no idea a city like West Hollywood existed—especially back then when the city of WeHo was 100% grade-A, gay! It was the year I first became aware of Santa Monica Blvd. I was sitting on the passenger’s side of my stepfather’s Ford truck. We pierced into the heart of Boystown and I felt an immediate quiver in my liver, because I knew this was a sissy town for funny folks who kinda/sorta felt like me. 2 2 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

I remember the rainbow flags and pink triangles, but I mostly recall the cluster of men promenading up and down the street. They were predominantly white men, but a lot of them had orange tanned skin with teased bleach-blond bangs. Some guys were shirtless and reeked of forbidden sex. Some wore hideous getups like tight mesh tank tops with short shorts or tie-dyed Genie pants. I instantly identified. My step-dad would look around with disapproval and mutter under his breath, “Joto Landia,” which is Spanish for Faggot Land—his term of endearment for this gay neighborhood. I didn’t know

PHOTO COURTESY OF RICHARD E SETTLE

WEST END BOYS

right from left in those days. I was just a gay kid breaking child labor laws by helping my father do his gardening route and mowing lawns all over Beverly Hills and in certain parts of WeHo (I’m the real deal). My neck practically did a 360/180 trying to see what I could see on the legendary Boulevard of Broken Queens. My only association to this free gay lifestyle was that West Hollywood Sign. I would see that sign and then I would see gay men—period. The sign became a symbol of hope for me. Whenever my mother tried to beat the gay out of me, I would think about that sign and fantasize about running away to this almost magical place where it was safe to be gay and guys were free to fry their hair and be all the things that grownups didn’t want me to be. Then one day-horror of all horrors—my step-dad sensed a change in me when we drove

past that sign. We were at the stoplight right in front of the Sports Connection gym, which is where the 24-Hour Fitness now stands. A guy crossing the street caught me looking at him, so he blew me a kiss. I felt a shocking Technicolor blush slap me on the face. My father didn’t say anything, but you best believe I got in trouble that night when he told my mom that maricones (look it up) were blowing me kisses. The things my mother said are not suitable for print. That gay guy blew me a kiss in the wind and I never saw the West Hollywood Sign again, at least not in person. My father avoided the gay parts of Santa Monica Blvd after that little incident. By the time I came out of the closet in 1991 and I braved the bus ride to Boystown, those West Hollywood letters were gone. Of course, a lot has changed since 1986. My parents eventually came around. Today they not only accept me for who I am, but they also receive my partner into their home. I have been a resident in my beloved “Joto Landia” for well over 15 years, living only a block away from the Boulevard of Broken Queens. A lot has changed in West Hollywood as well, with baby strollers being the norm in the gay parts of the city. Despite the changes, I never forgot that vintage West Hollywood Sign.

WHENEVER MY MOTHER TRIED TO BEAT THE GAY OUT OF ME, I WOULD THINK ABOUT THAT SIGN AND FANTASIZE ABOUT RUNNING AWAY TO THIS ALMOST MAGICAL PLACE WHERE IT WAS SAFE TO BE GAY.

A few weeks ago I found an old framed photo of the sign hanging by the restrooms at Trader Joes in WeHo. The photo inspired me to contact the photographer, Richard E Settle, who would donate that image for this article. I also wrote a blog asking my readers if they had any information. Several readers lead me to vimeo.com which hosts old EZTV Museum videos where they have actual footage of the unveiling of the West Hollywood Sign in ‘86 (visit vimeo.com/48992786). It turns out the sign was located on the parking lot by the Ramada Plaza next to the Collar and Leash pet store where EZTV used to be—only a block away from where I now live. Artist Micheal J. Masucci of EZTV created this large scale work of “sculptural graffiti,” which was a send-up to pop, film culture, fame, and monumentality.

According to EZTV Museum, the work stood from 1986-1991, which means I came out of the closet as the sign came down. People kept stealing the letters, which EZTV would replace. I’m told at one point the sign read Wet Ho. The letters continued to be stolen. New letters were not made one day and the sign slowly disappeared. “Do you remember the old West Hollywood Sign?” I asked my friend Judd. “I do,” he responded. “It was a shitty little sign on a dirty little hill.” It may well have been a shitty little sign, but those old letters saved me in a way and helped me accept myself as gay. That sign also led me to the city where I live today—Hello West Hollywood! Many moons later, I still love you. Now bring back the West Hollywood Sign! Kiss, kiss. n Read more commentary by Paulo Murillo at: thehissfit.com

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 23

CHRISTOPHER STREET WEST’S 2013 LA PRIDE HONOREES. LA Pride’s annual Honorees Program recognizes the people, organizations, businesses and groups that have made extraordinary contributions to the LGBT community—here in L.A., at the national level or even around the world. Here are this year’s honorees. BRENDON AYANBADEJO Professional Athlete George Moscone Ally Award l The 2012 NFL Super Bowl champion Brendon Ayanbadejo has repeatedly and steadfastly advocated for LGBT rights. A straight ally, Ayanbadejo has not only spoken out about his staunch support of marriage equality, he has encouraged fellow professional athletes to do the same. In an industry known for discrimination towards LGBT people, both with players and many fans, Ayanbadejo has risked his popularity amongst many by supporting the rights of a few. The George Moscone Ally Award celebrates straight allies that make a difference within the LGBT community. MARK TAKANO U.S. Congressman Person Of The Year Award

LISA HENSON CEO of The Henson Company Andelson/ Thais-Williams Business Award

l 35 years ago, in his famed “give them hope speech,” Harvey Milk said, “... you’ve got to elect gay people, so that young child, and the thousands like that child, know that there is hope for a better world....” Congressman Takano’s election to the United States Congress as the first openly gay person of color in this role offers hope to the next generation of LGBT Americans. Takano has over 20 years or public service in and around his community in Southern California. As a teacher, a school board member and now elected official, Congressman Takano has and will remain a tireless advocate for better education.

l Standing up against a national company who openly supports inequality and discrimination, Lisa Henson put her business and legacy on the line this past July by immediately ending a product-placement deal with Chick-fil-A following the fast-food chain’s public stance against marriage equality. Not only did The Henson Company discontinue the relationship, Henson herself took it a step further by donating the payment from the deal to an LGBT organization. The Henson Company has long been known for creating iconic characters and continues to educate and entertain the masses while celebrating diversity and acceptance.

The Person Of The Year Award is embodied by an individual who, for the past year, has had an astounding impact working for the betterment of the entire LGBT community.

Andelson/Thais-Williams Business Award celebrates business leaders who have taken a stand against inequality and strongly support the LGBT community.

JUNE MAZER LESBIAN ARCHIVES Parker Cultural Arts Award l The Mazer Archives is the largest major archive on the West Coast dedicated to preserving and promoting lesbian and feminist history and culture. By creating a safe place for women to explore the richness of lesbian history, perhaps adding to it themselves, they are paving the way for future generations to understand more fully their own identity and history and help maintain this vital link to their own past. The Pat Parker Cultural Arts Awards honors those who honor the community through the arts. 2 4 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

RICHARD ZALDIVAR Founder & CEO The Wall Las Memorias Connie Norman Spirit Award l A visionary and founder of “The Wall Las Memorias Project” on World AIDS day, December 1, 1993, the project is an AIDS monument honoring people who have died of AIDS. The project’s goal is simple, to engage the community in order to foster a conversation about cultural silence, shame and stigma surrounding AIDS. The Wall Las Memorias has not only opened eyes but also opened hearts and is the only publicly funded AIDS monument in the country. Connie Norman Spirit Award honors those who work tirelessly on behalf of the community fostering racial, ethnic, religious and gender unity.

DIANE ANDERSON-MINSHALL Executive Editor of The Advocate Osborn/ Michaels Media Award l With over 20 years of experience writing for a long list of LGBT publications, Anderson-Minshall has repeatedly been a leader in journalism covering an array of issues that affect the LGBT community but are often times ignored by mainstream media. With her words, she has encouraged, inspired and informed countless readers all with the goal of affecting change. Her stories have shed light on women’s issues and she has given a voice to the transgender community through her own unique perspective and experiences. The Osborn/Michaels Media Award honors those who disseminate information to the public for the betterment of the LGBT community in order to raise awareness and fight for equality. CARY DAVIDSON Harvey Milk Legacy Award l An unsung hero for LGBT people and their families, attorney Cary Davidson has worked with numerous non-profit organizations with the goal of protecting and advancing the rights of the LGBT community, striving to gain more ground on legal issues, while continuing to push for basic equality. Davidson’s legacy is simple equal rights for equal people and has included providing pro-bono services to organizations including Human Rights Campaign, National Center for Lesbian Rights, Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, California Faith for Equality, American Civil Liberties Union, Honor PAC, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, No on Prop 8, Equality California, Log Cabin Republicans. Harvey Milk Legacy Award honors those who continually give themselves to the fight for equality and betterment of the LGBT community. ZOEY Outstanding Youth Leader Award

PAYASOS LA Berman/Schaffer Service Award l Through self-respect and self-expression, Payasos-L.A. is a brotherhood of gay/ bi Latino men who are committed to supporting and enhancing the quality of life for our communities both gay and straight. Through fundraising, public appearances and volunteering that supports youth programs, Payasos promotes a Latino presence in the Arts with clown costumes and makeup and generates awareness about issues that affect the Latino community in LA. The Berman/Schaffer Service Award focuses on organizations or individuals who bring a positive change to the community by building partnerships and strengthening the community through service. BILL ROSENDAHL LA City Councilmember Morris Kight Lifetime Achievement Award l Representing the 11th District on the Los Angeles City Council, Rosendahl is the first openly gay member to serve. Known for bringing a strong voice for community empowerment, the councilmember has strived to bring change and equality amongst Angelenos. Giving a voice to those who need one the most, the public servant highlights include veteran outreach and counseling and housing opportunities for the underserved people of the city. THE NATIONAL GAY & LESBIAN TASK FORCE Community Grand Marshal

l Affecting the lives of countless kids, teenagers and even adults, 11 year-old Zoey wants nothing more than to simply go to school, learn, have fun with friends and be a kid. Unfortunately, ignorance and intolerance have not always made this easy. Zoey, with the help of her mother and the ACLU, fought school officials for her right to self identify in school. Even in the face of bullying and endless teasing from both school officials and students, Zoey determinedly continues to live her life as she is and tells her story in the hopes of helping others persevere in living their authentic lives.

l In addition to the above Honorees, Christopher Street West is pleased to announce the 2013 Community Grand Marshal, The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force. Each year CSW acknowledges the work of one particular organization and aims to help increase the organization’s visibility amongst the LGBT and allied communities at large. With a mission aimed at building the grassroots power of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force trains activists, aids state and local organizations in building campaigns to defeat anti-LGBT referenda and advance pro-LGBT legislation. This organization not only creates movements, it builds successful ones through research and policy analysis. 2013 celebrates the organizations 40th year of creating change and swaying public opinion for the good of all people.

The Outstanding Youth Leader Award is given to a young person who has worked for the betterment of young people in regards to LGBT issues.

For more information, visit them at: http://www.ngltf.org and support an organization that fundamentally supports you. JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 25

THEPROFILE >> JUNE 2013 <<

procedures in dentistry, it is of the utmost importance that my patients are in the best hands, achieving optimum results.” “Smile Perfector Dental Group is a multi specialty dental practice which provides services in all realms of dentistry; dental implants, Root canals, Oral Surgery & Invisalign,” explains Shouhed. “Having a predominantly gay clientele, I have become accustomed to catering to the gay population,” Shouhed reveals. This is why, states Shouhed, “as a cosmetic dentist I have aimed to perfect the craft of these three treatments (which gay men request most): Porcelain Veneers, Professional InOffice Teeth Whitening and Botox and Facial Fillers.” n

SHAHS OF DENTISTRY DR. DAVID SHOUHED, MIKE SHOUHED’S BROTHER FROM “SHAHS OF SUNSET,” IS ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR DENTISTS SERVING THE GAY COMMUNITY IN LOS ANGELES. l If you’re a fan of Bravo’s relatively new reality show “Shahs of Sunset,” you may have caught Dr. David Shouhed in a few guest appearances. The series follows a group of Iranian American friends living in Beverly Hills trying to juggle their active social lives and up-and-coming careers while balancing the demands of their families and traditions. Mike, Dr. Shouhed’s brother, is a regular on the series. Dr. David Shouhed, DDS, 31, of the Smile Perfector Dental Group in Los Angeles, born and raised in LA, has become one of the more popular dentists serving the LGBT community. “I thrive on making my dental practice personable, with treatment and results that are second to none,” says Dr. Shouhed in an interview with THE FIGHT. “I’m a perfectionist by nature, and so my work always resembles that... Every smile I transform must have a naturally perfect result!”

2 6 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

“As a health care provider, my main focus is always my patients’ health and well-being,” states Shouhed. “With the various

For more information on Dr. David Shouhed, and the Smile Perfector Dental Group, call: 323-634-6335 or visit: smileperfector.com.

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 27

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THEROSTOWREPORT

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PRIDE! AGAIN!

> Hello my beloved Los Angeles readers! I write to you at the start of Pride Month, capital P and capital M, our annual celebration of the Stonewall riots that started the modern gay rights movement back on June 28, 1969. Here in Austin, Texas, our celebration was so hot and so miserable for so many years that at some point we decided it was unsustainable. We now have our Pride event in September or October, on a date so random that I can’t even tell you which month it’s in. Even in the early fall, the days are still so hot that we have our parade at night. And the whole event kind of pops up unexpectedly. Some friend will call and ask whether we want to meet for cocktails and watch the festivities from the roof of some 6th Street bar. Oh! Is tonight Pride, we ask? When does it start? Last year, we arrived at 5. Everyone had a different opinion on when the parade began. After three hours of drinking above the empty streets, we finally gave up and had a civilized dinner at an expensive downtown restaurant. (After all, it was Pride night!) This is all to say that I have lost my connection to Pride. The real Pride, that is. The Pride that arrived on one special Sunday at the end of June when we all came together, young and old, male and female, rich and poor, black, white and brown, and took over the town. Manhattan in the late 1970s and early 1980s, San Francisco in the 1990s. It was tacky, exuberant, exhilarating. It had a rhythm, building throughout the afternoon towards a wild night of carousing. We bought junk, consumed mystery drinks, wore rainbow hats, stood up through the moon roof and ripped our shirts off, staggered down Seventh Avenue south, skinny dipped on Ocean Beach. We listened to speeches and cheered. We danced all day and all night. And now? Now it’s a couple gin and tonics and we’re off to Trulucks for a dozen oysters and a bottle of white Cote de Rhone. What happened? Stranger still, I don’t even miss the original version of Pride. I really love oysters, air conditioning and a dark booth in an old restaurant. Plus, back in the day I couldn’t afford oysters. One time in New York, the only money we had was a healthy collection of nickels, dimes and quarters. We each took charge of one denomination, so every commercial transaction required a group effort of pulling out coins. Somehow, this stash sustained us through most of the day. So, as I sit by the sidelines slurping Blue Points, I trust that all of you will do justice to Pride Month and Pride Day in the City of the Angels. I assume that President Obama will issue his usual Pride Proclamation, singing our communal praises and sounding a clarion call for justice. And of course, this year, we may actually have something real to cheer for: a High Court ruling or two that could compound the significance of late June for future historians of the LGBT movement. Hell, I might have to dig out my rainbow beads, put on one of my March on Washington T-shirts, fill up my giant plastic party drink tube with some imaginative concoction, grab my newly recognized spouse and parade down the streets of Austin alone in the 105 degree heat to mark the occasion.

MARRIAGE EQUALITY

> May was quite a month for gay unions as I’m sure you know. First Rhode Island, then Delaware, and finally Minnesota; all three states joined the Free Territories of Marriage Equality through legislative action. Now, as I write, the Illinois House of Representatives has a few more days to call a vote on the marriage equality bill that passed the state senate in February. The long delay reflected the fact that 1 8 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

I was pleased to see that a lesbian movie won the top prize at the Cannes film festival... And speaking of France, they’re still marching in the streets of Paris to protest the dawn of marriage equality, but the deed is done. we lacked the votes to pass marriage in the house, but lately we’ve been hearing reports to the contrary. Do we have the votes or not? Will the measure be called to the floor, or not? Will Illinois become the 13th state to step into the bright light of equality, or not? Hell if I know, but I mention this because I don’t want Illinois to pass marriage equality tomorrow and have all you readers think I was living in a cave. Meanwhile, the Nevada legislature passed a bill to put a marriage referendum on the ballot that could overturn the

antigay language now soiling the Blackjack State’s constitution. Under state law, the measure must be passed by a successive legislature and subsequently put to a public vote. So although the news is nice, it’s not imminent. Plus, don’t forget there’s a federal marriage lawsuit now pending in the Ninth Circuit against both Hawaii and Nevada. It could be that the appellate courts will weigh in before the public has its say, although the ultimate question of marriage rights under federal law will await a Supreme Court decision. This combined Hawaii/Nevada

>> JUNE 2013 <<

lawsuit may wind up before the justices, assuming they push the meat of the Prop 8 case to the side of their plates as expected.

KISS ME KATE

> My buddy Kim Corsaro has written an article in The Advocate about the 18-year-old Florida senior, Kaitlyn Hunt, who was charged last February with “lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12-16 years old” due to her relationship with her freshman high school girlfriend. According to Kate’s lawyer, the relationship began in November; Kate had turned 18 in August. According to other news sources, the girl ran away to live with Kate in January, at which point the girl’s parents blew the whistle and called in the cops. The charge is a felony that carries jail time as well as the status of sex offender, which of course could pretty much ruin Kate’s life. Under Florida’s Romeo and Juliet law (which also covers same-sex romances) Kate could be charged with a lesser crime and avoid the sex offender label, but one legal analysis I read suggested that other states might not recognize the distinction and would treat her as an offender under their own state law. In mid-May, the state offered to drop the charge to some lesser type of battery, which would allow Kate to avoid prison time and (in theory) stay clear of sex offender status. However, Kate and her parents rejected that offer, arguing that even the lower charge could severely damage Kate’s future. As we go to print, it’s not clear whether Kate will decide to fight the charges or whether the state will come through with a more acceptable plea deal. What is clear, however, is that teen relation-

ships within a five-year age range should not be subjected to criminal penalties of any sort. In some ways, this is not a case of discrimination only because boys and girls get nailed for these faux statutory rape type charges as well. Yet we have seen harsh attacks on youthful gay romances in the past, and for a long time most of the Romeo and Juliet statutes that protect young lovers did not apply to same-sex couples. So when gay teens fall under the criminal spotlight for what appears to be an innocent romance, alarm bells ring. Plus, although they claim to be free of bias, you can’t help but wonder if the parents of the younger girl would have taken a kinder view of a boyfriend. And maybe the state would have given a Romeo a break as well. The case will play out in the days to come, and will likely be settled before Kate’s June trial date. Meanwhile, the social media

attention has been massive, with Free Kate pages and petitions going viral around the globe.

FRENCH KISS

> I was pleased to see that a lesbian movie won the top prize at the Cannes film festival. Yay! And speaking of France, they’re still marching in the streets of Paris to protest the dawn of marriage equality, but the deed is done. Meanwhile, the best tennis players in the world are starting to pound the red clay off their heels at Roland Garros, a signal that the long slog through cold hard serious months are about to give way to the glories of a hedonistic summer. Yes I know. If you live in LA or Austin, you really haven’t suffered through a tough winter. But it’s a spiritual thing. We deserve the concept of summer as much as the rest of the northern hemisphere, and by God we’re going to embrace it. n

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 19

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DR. DAVID ALESSI, AND HIS WIFE, DEBORAH, FOUNDERS OF THE NON-PROFIT “FACE FORWARD,” OFFER PRO-BONO FACIAL RECONSTRUCTION FOR VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHO CANNOT AFFORD THE EXPENSE. BY MARK ARIEL FACE FORWARD, a LA-based non-profit organization, provides physical and emotional reconstruction for men, women and children who have been victimized by domestic or gang related violence. Face Forward vows that all individuals who cannot afford the fees associated with proper internal and external care will be treated pro-bono. Born and raised in Scotland, Face Forward’s Deborah Alessi, wife of renowned Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. David Alessi, is herself a victim of domestic violence. “My first boyfriend, back in Scotland, abused me,” reveals Deborah in an interview with THE FIGHT. “I ran away from him, and that is the reason I left Scotland. Once I met my husband, Dr. David Alessi, I thought it was a perfect fit for me to create a non-profit. He is a plastic surgeon and together we created Face Forward to erase the scars left behind from domestic violence.” “Domestic violence is an epidemic-affecting individuals in every community—regardless of age, economic status, race, sexual preference, religion, nationality or educational background,” states Deborah. In Alessi’s experience, there is more of a negative stigma when a domestic violence victim is gay. “It is harder for a man to come out and say he has been abused. There is a lot of shame attached to being a victim, and especially for a man to say that he has been mistreated.” Face Forward’s mission, says Alessi, “is to help others reclaim their confidence and help patients find beauty on the inside and out. The patients receive a physical and mental makeover during their stay. Along with pro bono surgery, we provide counseling sessions with exceptional therapists... I want the patients to leave with a new outlook on life, confidence, and to realize that they deserve so much better.” n For more information please visit: faceforwardla.org.

3 2 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 33

KICK START KIT

MAD MEN’S KIT WILLIAMSON ON GROWING UP GAY IN THE DEEP SOUTH, TRANSITIONING FROM THEATER TO THE SCREEN AND HOW A KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN CHANGED EVERYTHING. BY MARK ARIEL

IN ADDITION to being the newest cast member (copywriter Ed Gifford) of AMC’s “Mad Men,” emerging triplethreat, Kit Williamson, writes, directs, and stars in the critically acclaimed VIACOM/LOGO LGBT web series “EastSiders,” now airing online. EastSiders explores the aftermath of infidelity on a gay couple in Silverlake. The story focuses on how the relationship of Cal (Williamson) and Thom (Van Hansis) is affected by infidelity and substance abuse. The story line also explores the relationship between Cal’s somewhat unstable best friend, Kathy (Constance Wu), and her nice-guy boyfriend, Ian (John Halbach). Williamson, 27, attended Interlochen Arts Academy, an arts boarding school in Michigan and Fordham University. He appeared in the Broadway premiere of Eric Bogosian’s “Talk Radio,” starring Liev Schreiber. He has also appeared in a number of movies and television shows, including “Best Friends Forever,” starring Brea Grant and Sean Maher, and episodes of “Numb3rs” and “Death Valley.” In an interview with THE FIGHT, Williamson talks about growing gay in the deep south, transitioning from theater to the screen and the evolution of LGBT characters on television. 0 0 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

PHOTO BY BOBBY QUILLARD

COVER FEATURE | KIT WILLIAMSON | JUNE 2013 <<

YOU WERE BORN AND RAISED IN JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR CHILDHOOD? I’m really grateful to have grown up in Mississippi. It wasn’t easy—no one was out at my high school and I definitely felt isolated. I grew up really lonely as a kid. But as a result I don’t take for granted how incredible it is to find people who not only accept you but celebrate you for who you are. It’s made me really appreciate the more LGBT friendly cities I’ve lived in as well—I never imagined I could walk down the street holding my boyfriend’s hand in public when I was living in Mississippi. AT WHAT POINT DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY? I fall into the “always knew” category, but it was something I kept buried inside me until I was a teenager. I’d say I was ten years old when it went from something I was afraid might be true to something I knew was an intrinsic part of me. WHEN DID YOU COME OUT TO FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND HOW DID THEY REACT? I came out when I was sixteen, the summer before I went away to Interlochen Arts Academy to study acting. I was actually waiting to find out if I was going at the time, so it was a really intense, uncertain time for me. Thankfully I’m blessed with an amazingly supportive family. It wasn’t easy but I feel like we’re even closer because my coming out was a little tumultuous. HOW WAS THE TRANSITION FROM WORKING IN THE THEATER TO GETTING ROLES ON TV AND FILM? Honestly, it took me a couple of years to recalibrate. Everyone says that theater prepares you to do TV and film, but the rehearsal process is so different. It felt limiting for a while, but I’ve recently found a lot of creative freedom in acting for the camera. You don’t have to do as much physically, but the camera can read your mind. So you’d better be honest.

I KNEW I WANTED TO PLAY A GAY CHARACTER WHOSE SEXUAL ORIENTATION WAS JUST A FACET OF WHO HE WAS—NOT THE ULTIMATE POINT OF THE STORY.

HOW DID THE IDEA FOR “EASTSIDERS” COME ABOUT? WHAT MOTIVATED YOU TO WRITE THE SERIES? I knew I wanted to play a gay character whose sexual orientation was just a facet of who he was—not the ultimate point of the story. And I knew I wanted to explore writing about a flawed relationship. Infidelity is such a loaded subject and I think it’s often depicted in black and white terms. As a writer I really enjoy subverting expectations, because I think interesting people are usually unpredictable. And I think that gay people are very interesting. WHAT WAS THE INITIAL FEEDBACK? I wrote the first episode and showed it to a few people and the positive feedback really surprised me and inspired me to keep going. When we put the first two episodes on youtube back in December we weren’t really prepared for the response that we got-- it was amazing and overwhelming that so many people responded to the story. I immediately sat down and wrote the rest of the series over my winter break from UCLA. We launched a Kickstarter campaign in January and met our goal in just four days, eventually going on to raise nearly twice what we had set out to. And then we started shooting at the begin-

ning of February, before we’d even gotten the money back from Kickstarter. It was important to me to keep moving. I just had this sense that if we sat back we’d lose the momentum we had and I really wanted to get this story out there as quickly as we could. IN WHAT WAY DO YOU FEEL LGBT SHOWS AND CHARACTERS HAVE CHANGED OVER THEY YEARS? It used to be a political act just to acknowledge the existence of LGBT people, much less include them in a narrative. I think the world has changed a lot in the last few years, and Hollywood is catching up. There’s still a lot of work to be done, but the fact that LGBT families are depicted on network TV is extraordinary to me. HOW DID THE ROLE ON MAD MEN COME ABOUT? When I auditioned for the first episode I had no idea that the character would be recurring. Matthew Weiner was actually at my audition, which is extraordinary-usually you don’t meet the producers until round two or three. They take confidentiality very seriously over there, and we never knew what was happening in an episode until the table read. It was a really exciting few months, waiting to find out what was going to happen! HOW HAS THE EXPERIENCE BEEN FOR YOU? It’s one of my favorite shows on TV, so to be a part of the amazing world Matthew Weiner created is a dream come true. Shooting Mad Men was one of the best experiences of my career. The set is simultaneously incredibly professional and surprisingly easygoing—I think because everyone is so prepared. Every detail is attended to meticulously and every member of that crew is amazing. They really create the ideal environment for actors to work and I think that

is a big part of what makes the show so consistently great. THROUGHOUT YOUR ACTING AND WRITING CAREER, IN THE THEATER AND ON FILM—WERE THERE ANY “AHA” MOMENTS THAT GUIDED YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS? Too many to count. There’s no real paved road to success as an actor—everyone I know has taken a different path. So you have to have a really strong compass guiding you artistically. If you’re not constantly reminding yourself why you got into this business in the first place you’ll get lost pretty easily. For me, I’m doing this to tell stories that are meaningful. ARE THERE ANY PROJECTS YOU HAVE PARTICIPATED IN, OR ARE COMING UP, THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS? “Best Friends Forever,” a movie I did which premiered at Slamdance this year, is going to be distributed by Gravitas this summer. I’m also one of the leads in another web series, “Hipsterhood,” which has partnered with Blip.TV for a second season. That’ll be airing some time this summer as well. I’m also developing an LGBT feature with Sean Maher that is really exciting. It’s still in the early stages, so there’s not much I can say about it, other than Sean and I are producing and co-starring as a gay couple. THIS INTERVIEW WILL APPEAR IN OUR LA GAY PRIDE ISSUE. ANY THOUGHTS ON PRIDE? I think gay pride is important... unlike a lot of other communities LGBT people come together from many different cultures and backgrounds and I think pride is the thing that unites us. We should always honor our diversity but remember that we have a common cause—equality for everyone. n JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 35

UNION SOLDIER ALBERT CASHIER, WHO WAS REALLY JENNIE HODGERS, FOUGHT IN DOZENS OF BATTLES DURING THE CIVIL WAR. IN 1913, SHE MADE HEADLINES UPON BEING DISCOVERED AS A WOMAN IN AN OLD SOLDIERS HOME. COURTESY OF THE TRUSTEES OF THE BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY

BELOW THE TRENCHES WOMEN SOLDIERS WHO DRESSED AND FOUGHT AS MEN IN THE CIVIL WAR. BY ORLY LYONNE CONVENTIONAL NARRATIVE has framed the Civil War as a man’s fight, with historical accounts focusing almost exclusively on the men who fought as Yanks and Rebs in the 1860s, reports Maria Popova at www.brainpickings.org But such commonly accepted accounts present a revisionist history that excises the stories of the women who, despite the extraordinary obstructions of the era, took to the battlefields, states Popova. In “They Fought Like Demons: Women Soldiers in the Civil War,” historians DeAnne Blanton and Lauren M. Cook chronicle and contextualize more than 250 documented cases of women who served in the ranks of both the Union and Confederate armies dressed as men, “the best-kept historical secret of the Civil War.” 3 6 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

Why did women do this? For some, like their male counterparts, the motivation was purely patriotic. Others did if for love, taking to the battlefields in order to remain close to a husband, lover, fiance, father, or brother, states Popova. But for many, the reason was economic—an army private made $13 a month, roughly double what a seamstress, laundress, or maid would make. At the time of the Civil War, women, unable to vote or have bank accounts and still subject to Victorian ideals of homemaking and motherhood as the sole purpose of female existence, had neither personal nor political agency. The freedom to make and spend their own money was a source of unprecedented, if private, empowerment as they gained access to social opportunities and privileges previously unavailable to them. Though once found out, these female soldiers were discharged from the army for “congenital peculiarities,” “sexual incompatibility,” or the unambiguously termed offense of “unmistakable evidence of being a woman,” most of these women went undetected, at least for a while—a fact not all that astounding in the context of Victorian society where the single most revealing litmus test, nudity, was a rarity given bathing was a rare occurrence and people often slept in their clothes. “They Fought Like Demons”— available at amazon.com—explores the complex motivations, realities, and untold stories of women who fought as, and fought like, men, reminding us that omission is as much a tool of political oppression in the construction of cultural mythology as propaganda. n

THEFAMILY >> JUNE 2013 <<

LGBT IMMIGRANT FAMILIES ABANDONED SENATORS WITHDRAW IMMIGRATION AMENDMENT FOR GAY COUPLES. “REPUBLICANS CAME AFTER LGBT FAMILIES, AND DEMOCRATS DIDN’T STAND UP,” SAYS IMMIGRATION EQUALITY’S RACHEL B. TIVEN. BY VICTOR MELAMED l Following months of threats and pressure by some Republican members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Chairman Patrick Leahy (D-VT) announced last month he is withholding amendments to the immigration bill that would end discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) immigrant families. “Despite the leadership of Chairman Leahy, Judiciary Committee Democrats have caved to bullying by their Republican colleagues,” said Rachel B. Tiven, executive director of Immigration Equality Action Fund. “There should be shame on both sides of the political aisle ... for lawmakers who worked to deny LGBT immigrant families a vote. Despite widespread support from business, labor, faith, Latino and Asian-American advocates, Senators abandoned LGBT families without a vote.” Senator Chuck Schumer, an architect of the immigration bill, had long promised LGBT constituents that the package would include their

RACHEL B. TIVEN

families. “From the beginning we told Senator Schumer that it would only get harder to add LGBT families to the bill,” said Tiven. “We are disappointed that Senator Schumer and his ‘Gang of 8’ colleagues accepted a false choice between LGBT families and immigration reform, when the truth is that including LGBT families from the outset would have strengthened the bill.” Republican senators looking for a reason to walk away from the bill scapegoated LGBT families. “Republicans came after LGBT

families, and Democrats didn’t stand up,” Tiven said. “Who will be in the GOP’s sights next?” “Senators have lined up in recent months to proclaim their support for marriage equality and LGBT rights,” Tiven added. “Yet, given the first opportunity to put their vote where their talking point is, they failed. Our families need deeds, not words.” An estimated 36,000 couples who are raising more than 25,000 children within the United States (and countless others already living in exile) are impacted by the inability to sponsor their spouse or partner for residency under current immigration law. Senator Leahy’s proposed amendments would have allowed all of those families an opportunity to remain permanently together in the United States. n For more information, visit www.ImmigrationEquality.org and www.ImEqActionFund.org.

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LIVEOut LOUD THE UNNAMED WISH AT THE HEART OF A GAY PRIDE CELEBRATION, UNDERNEATH ALL ITS EXTROVERTED ACTIVITIES: A GAY, MIND-BLOWING, SOULFUL LIFE OF MEANING. BY THOMAS MONDRAGON, LMFT IF YOU LOOK UP “PRIDE” in the dictionary you will find these synonyms: self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth, dignity, healthy ego. Esteem infers highly regarding, valuing, or admiring. As a gay man (or lesbian, 3 8 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

bisexual and transgender person) what is the status of your self-esteem, self-valuing, self-regard? The 1969 Stonewall Rebellion, that historic moment when LGBT individuals fought back against police harassment, was a pivotal first step in fighting back the status quo of soul-destroying heterosexism and homopho-

bia, a revolt that began answering the call of Homosexual Eros with its promise of gay self-realization—a most worthy vision to be cultivated. We’ve experienced 35 years of rights gained in the arena of basic human needs, a better understanding and appreciation of our rich identities, greater visibility and acceptance, and important attempts to love and relate on our

terms versus heterosexually defined expectations that otherwise render us invisible. A lot to celebrate! And yet, healthy self-regard comes not only from sociopolitical advances or being able to be out and proud. Healthy self-regard also comes from that most numinous relationship a gay man, for instance, has with one’s self—having an attitude that says, “I am willing to look inside with courage and honest self-appraisal,” rooted in the desire to feel “I am worthy, lovable, and valuable because I am gay.”

FALSE SELF “I’ve never really believed in myself to do more with my life other than buying new clothes, taking trips, having sex hook-ups—all ways I’ve tried to avoid how bad I really feel about myself. Only recently have I finally been strong enough to admit how much I have been controlled by internalized homophobia and shame.” Growing up in a homophobic environment, this gay man has been able to explore the effects of all the subtle and not so subtle negative messages he grow up with as a young gay boy. He describes that in reality every day he walked out the door or walked back into his house he was not being seen for who he was—that he was being molded into a heterosexual boy even though it was obvious how much of a gay boy he really was. He knew he couldn’t hide this, was picked on horribly at school and felt terribly rejected at home, especially by his father. Where his gay heart wanted to go with his creativity, his crushes on other boys, his different view of the world— contrasted with the unspoken demand that he not be true to himself as gay, but in fact be an “as-if” person with a false self—leaving him depressed, highly anxious, and lacking confidence in so many aspects of his normal day-to-day functioning, that here he is in midlife struggling to find meaning and purpose.

DEEPLY WOUNDED Many people experience low self-esteem, but for a gay man, much of what has caused this unhealthy self-regard is because his gayness is an affront to heterosexist gender conformity demands that pathologize his richly imagined fantasies of same-sex love, fantasies that can be seen as symbolic representatives of a deeper possibility of a gay mindblowing soulful life of meaning. Wouldn’t this unnamed wish be at the heart of a gay pride celebration, underneath all its extroverted activities? And yet, the gay community is still so deeply wounded around having healthy self-regard and valuing. A very successful gay business executive reflectively describes his journey: “I grew up in a strict religious family, with parents who were highly critical perfectionists, where rejection was always around the corner unless I towed the line to meet their expectations. I now see I was neglected around not just basic needs, but especially my needs for love and attention as a gay kid. So I learned to adapt. I became the popular guy, the one everybody liked and laughed with, the tops in everything I did. But I ended up running and running. I’ve never been able to stay still long enough to let another man get close to me.” He angrily describes how he surrounded himself with people, parties, and daily workouts because he is actually terribly lonely. Through sobriety and therapy, he sees how he let crystal meth become a way to bypass this loneliness providing a fleeting, although mind-altered, sense of intimacy. His low self-esteem not only led to drug abuse

but to getting infected with HIV, which has added another layer of shame and fear of rejection he contends with.

sion for yourself. This starts with valuing your feelings as signposts into understanding what your real needs are, something we were trained NOT to do, yet is crucial to regarding yourself meaningfully A NEW VISION as a gay man. What can be lifeAre we looking at individuals transforming is learning that to go who just need to get over it and into a relationship with your feeling take control of their lives? Many life supports you as a gay man in gay men with low self-regard try a way that nothing in your external to get over it, and many are highly world can do, and is what would controlled in different ways—but most support a healthy relationship as defenses we could say, to with another man. looking within. A powerful tool is to imaginaTaking care of yourself is the tively start to relate to that long foundation of healthy self-regard. neglected inner gay boy inside, As we’ve seen, most of us were listening and dialoging with this trained NOT to take care of inner child who holds all your often ourselves actually. Self-esteem is buried feelings. You can come to a feeling that comes from within, experience healthily the depths and cannot be found by external of the hurt/rage about the ways and often compulsive attempts in which your birthright as a gay to get satisfaction and fulfillment, man was stolen from you. You can only temporarily felt. bravely learn to identify your own Inner Critic’s homophobic HEALTHY SELF-REGARD negative shaming judging COMES NOT ONLY FROM messages that have kept SOCIOPOLITICAL ADVANCES you lonely, isolated and stuck—and that through OR BEING ABLE TO BE OUT AND PROUD. HEALTHY SELF- your engaged feelings REGARD ALSO COMES FROM you confront this attacker and its lies. THE RELATIONSHIP A GAY These are important MAN HAS WITH HIMSELF. first steps, among others, Healthy self-regard infers to be taken in reinvigorating for believing in yourself, your own yourself the fiery promise of the worthiness as a gay man. And, early days of gay liberation. Its often the first step in healing is vision of depth and meaning in admitting how much you actually the power of Homosexual Eros don’t have these feelings about is not only the way into authentic yourself. That level of courageous romance that gets your heart rachonesty is a paradoxical answer ing and your groin aching, but is to that feeling of your value and a fierce advocate warrior and gay worth as gay—a Gay Spirit—that buddy to the self within that dewhispers invitingly in your ear to serves to finally and most lovingly look within. be regarded and esteemed. n There are many aspects of taking care of yourself including Thomas Mondragon, a West Hollywood the care of your body with good based psychotherapist and a profesnutrition, sleep, exercise. But we sor at Antioch University Los Angeles’ also need the soulfulness of emo- LGBT Specialization in Clinical tional and psychological self-care. Psychology, provides his clients with Having self-empathy in what LGBT affirmative counseling and you endured to survive a still expertise. He can be reached at: (310) fiercely homophobic culture is 779-3113 or at thomasmondragonvital for reclaiming a new vitherapy.com. JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 39

THELAW >> JUNE 2013 <<

THE “TOX” OF BOTOX ANYONE INJURED AFTER RECEIVING BOTOX INJECTIONS, AS WELL AS FAMILIES OF DECEASED BOTOX PATIENTS, WILL LIKELY BE ENTITLED TO A SETTLEMENT FOR THEIR INJURIES AND LOSSES. BY DAVID HAKIMFAR l By now, we all know someone who has tried Botox®. It’s been widely reported that Kim Kardashian, the fast-aging 32 year-old reality star, has been receiving Botox injections during her pregnancy! It’s no wonder why Botox has become America’s most widely used cosmetic treatment. Now, we’re certainly not dispensing medical advice in this article. Yet, as a lawyer, I can advise you of some of the published side effects of Botox treatment and the ensuing wave of litigation related to it. Botox is a drug produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum (the same toxin that causes botulism, a life-threatening food poison). Botox injections work by blocking certain nerves or by weakening/ paralyzing certain muscles. These temporary effects can last about three to four months. Side effects can include pain at the injection site, flu-like symptoms, headache and upset stomach. Although it has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to be used in very small doses for cosmetic 4 0 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

treatment or to treat temporary removal of facial wrinkles, severe underarm sweating, cervical dystonia, migraine headaches, dystonia, painful muscle spasms, and overactive bladder. Botox has also been used in treatments not approved by the FDA. Such non-approved treatments include treatments such as treatment of limb spasticity of cerebral palsy or for use in any condition in children less than 12 years of age. In practice, Botox has been associated with a number of adverse reactions in both FDA approved and non-approved usage. This is often the result of neurotoxins spreading away from the intended or injection site, which can produce a number of adverse effects in patients. The FDA is not advising health care professionals to discontinue prescribing these products as they have not fully completed their investigation.

However, the FDA has authorized several changes regarding the prescription, risks, warnings and use of Botox. The FDA’s public notification came after severe, adverse reactions were found in both FDAapproved and non FDA-approved usages. The most severe reactions were found in children after the treatment of limb spasticity of cerebral palsy. These adverse reactions are occurring after the toxin spreads in areas away from the injection site. Some Botox patients have experienced a wide range of side-effects, including decrease in vision, allergic reactions, and muscle weakness. Botox reactions cause symptoms similar to botulism, including diffucult breathing, difficult swallowing, weakness and numbness of the lower extremities, and respiratory distress. The most serious side effect is the inability to swallow, which can lead to an inability to eat or even breathe. Adverse reactions reported after use of Botox can also include bruising and/or tenderness at the injection site, localized pain, paralysis of the wrong muscle group, skin rash, weakness of muscle group beneath the injection site. Ultimately, victims who prevail in a Botox lawsuit can win compensation for past hospital bills, ongoing treatment costs, lost wages, permanent disabilities, future costs of living (should permanent disabilities prevent patients from earning a living), pain and suffering, and funeral and burial costs (should a Botox death occur). Anyone injured after receiving Botox injections, as well as families of deceased Botox patients, will likely be entitled to a settlement for their injuries and losses. n David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC, located in West Hollywood. He can be reached at (213) 265-9252.

THEBODY

HEALTHY WEIGHT LOSS THE FIGHT’S PAUL VALLEJO TAKES ON THE “LOSE ONE POUND A DAY!” CHALLENGE. HERE ARE THE RESULTS OF THE FIRST TWO WEEKS.

l I heard about Weight Loss Solutions a little over a month ago and finally decided to take the plunge and see if there was any truth to their slogan “Lose one pound a day!” In my initial consultation they measured my BMI and body fat. The doctor suggested I lose at least 20 lbs in order to be at a healthy weight. Of course, the gay man inside me turned that 20 into 30. I was given a cute welcome package filled with protein shakes, homemade puddings, weight loss pills and a few other goodies. Instead of spacing out three meals a day, which can lead to overeating, I was told to eat five small meals a day, consisting of 20g of protein and 20g of sugar. Before leaving, the staff gave me a schedule for routine weigh-ins and to come in and get vitamin B12 shots a few times a week. I found that eating small meals every three hours didn’t leave me starving. I wasn’t getting disgustingly full, but I felt content. Each day that passed made it easier and I became used to my new schedule. I’ve gone back roughly every two days for checkups and weigh-ins and as of this writing I’ve been on this diet for 14 days. In the past two weeks, I have lost 13 lbs. and a few inches off my chest, waist, and hips. I’m not the only one that’s noticed. Friends, family, even coworkers have noticed that I don’t look swollen anymore. I am currently at 177 lbs. and have about two weeks to go. I cannot recommend Weight Loss Solutions more because I have never seen a program that has worked so effectively and the best part of all is I don’t have to starve myself! n

TO ADVERTISE CALL 323-297-4001

>> JUNE 2013 <<

For more info call Weight Loss Solutions at 818-985-7900, or visit: lose1poundaday.com

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 4 1

EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE AIROCIDE—THE AIR PURIFIER ELLEN USES IN HER STUDIO—GETS RAVE REVIEWS. BY DUANE WELLS AIR IS THE ONE ELEMENT with which we have the most contact and yet it is also the one over which we exert the least amount of control. You can control what you touch, what you eat and even the cleanliness of your environment. But air? Well that’s a trickier affair. Up until recently, my only experience with air filtration systems had not proved particularly impressive. Every example that I saw was either too huge, too loud, too cumbersome to deal with or just too plain ugly. Then one day, I tuned into a segment of Ellen and found myself transfixed as she talked about the air purifier that she uses in her studio. It’s called Airocide and it’s neither bumbling nor clumsy looking. In fact, it’s quite chic. Not to be overly dramatic, but as soon as I laid eyes on it, I almost felt like the heavens had opened up and delivered a miracle. Slim and sleek, with dimensions and design that allow it to blend seamlessly with any décor, Airocide resides comfortably at the

4 2 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

intersection of function and fabulous. Add to that the fact that Airocide was developed by NASA, approved by the FDA and has been shown to substantially reduce the presence of bacteria and mold (up to 75% in households) and the stylish solution to fixing that tricky problem with all the particles and gases that pollute the air we breathe daily became pretty obvious to me. And did I mention that Airocide also fights odors...particularly pet odors? Well yeah, it does that too, all while it basically eliminates the gases and particles in the air that make life for asthma and allergy sufferers such a challenge. Stylishly cleaner air? What’s not to love about that? Now that you know better, it’s time to do better. n Find out more about Airocide at www.airocide.com/ellen.

MAN IN MOTION

PHOTO: JOHN SKALICKY

MICHAEL HOLTZ

MY. GAY USA 2011, MICHAEL HOLTZ, STARS ON THE NEW TNT COMPETITION SERIES, “72 HOURS.” BY VICTOR MELAMED MICHAEL HOLTZ is a man with many titles: Mr. Gay USA 2011, Compete Magazine’s Athlete of the Year and first-runner-up Mr. Gay World 2011. Of equal significance, since 2008 as an LGBT activist, he raised more than $1 million cumulatively for Equality California, GLAAD, The Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, and Stonewall Community Foundation in New York City. Now he is set to embark on one of his most formidable challenges ever on the new TNT competition series, “72 Hours”—which takes adventure to a whole new level, in titled episode “Lost Coast of New Zealand” airing June, 13, 2013 at 9pm. Dropped in a 90km stretch of untamed coastline, three teams composed of three strangers must navigate through thick forests, limestone cliffs and massive sand dunes in order to locate a briefcase full of cash in just 72 hours. All they have to accompany them in their quest for $100,000 are their teammates, the clothes on their backs, a GPS and one bottle of water. But for Holtz, being a man constantly in motion is nothing new. In addition to his recent speaking engagements around the country, as well as running his own athletic-event production company called MKH2O, Holtz will serve as a spokesperson and model for a soonto-open BRIEF (www.shopbrief.com) store in Charlotte, NC, where he also plans to launch a swimwear and active line of his own. This summer, Holtz will work with The Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center to produce and serve as Emcee for their 2013 Beach Classic—an ocean swim, run and beach volleyball competition at Dockweiler Beach. n Fans can cheer on Holtz and meet him in person when he personally hosts a special, LIVE, national viewing party for his episode at Eleven Bar & Nightclub on Thursday, June 13 at 7:30pm. Eleven Bar & Nightclub is located at 8811 Santa Monica Blvd, in West Hollywood. JUNE 2013 | TH E F I GH T 43

FRISKY BUSINESS SELECTING THE PERFECT SEX TOYS, LUBRICANTS, OR SEXUAL FRAGRANCES. PRODUCTS DESIGNED TO ENHANCE YOUR SEXUAL PLEASURE. BY PAULO MURILLO THERE ARE A PLETHORA of lubricants, motion lotions, sex toys and other fun and frisky sexual products to choose from to stimulate any man’s sexual shenanigans. Whether you’re a guy who prefers to rub one out on your own, mix it up with a partner, or get it on with a mix of multiple people, an old fashioned handy doesn’t have to be boring. Selecting the perfect sex toys, lubricants, or sexual fragrance (more on sexual scents later) is about as important and personal as shopping for the condom with the perfect fit and feel. Below is a list of products that are designed to enhance your sexual pleasure regardless of what your pleasure may be. But remember, frisky doesn’t have to be risky. Play safely.

THE SPORTS FUCKER 665LEATHER.COM

SPUNK LUBE PURE SILICONE SPUNKLUBE.COM SPUNK LUBE PURE SILICONE promises to last as long as you can. It mixes a special blend that will never get sticky or dry out. It is made of 100% pure silicone. It contains no glycerin, parabens, fragrance, odor, taste, or chemicals. SPUNK Lube Pure Silicone has no additives or fillers. It is safe on your skin and it’s safe to use with condoms, leather, latex, neoprene, silicone, and all materials. It is also hypoallergenic. Feel the difference four silicones can make with Spunk Lube Pure Silicone.

THE SPORT FUCKER is the muther of all cock and ball cockrings on the market. Known for its, um ... versatility, this universal cock and ball toy can be worn in a number of different ways. It is soft, yet strong. A TPR blend gives it a supple and soft feel, but the Sports Fucker is resilient, so it can stretch over four times its size. Add a second Sports Fucker to your member and increase the fun. The possibilities are almost endless. Visit 665leather.com to see some of the different binds you can master with The Sports Fucker.

BOY BUTTER GOLD LABEL: 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION BOYBUTTERLUBES.COM TO CELEBRATE 10 YEARS, Boy Butter has released the Boy Butter Gold Label, 10th Anniversary Edition. It’s all in the package with a shiny and lavish crème de la crème gold metallic label in the classic 16 oz screw-top tapered tub. Enjoy the same classic original formula that debuted in 2003 only with a fancier presentation. Made of the original coconut oil based lubricant that lasts like a regular silicone lubricant, but it washes off with water alone. That means no more shameful streaks and stains ruining your undies and sheets. Boy Butter Gold Label also goes global with proceeds being donated to global reforestation. This tub is green and good as gold. 4 4 T H E F I GH T | J U N E 2013

ELBOW GREASE ORIGINAL CREAM SHOP.ELBOWGREASELUBRICANTS.COM ELBOW GREASE ORIGINAL CREAM dates back to the 70s and was prominently featured in gay adult film in the early 80s. It hit the market in 1979 and is still going strong today. The name pretty much says it all. Put your elbow into it with this mineral-oil based, thick, creamy lubricant designed to enhance your sensual experience. This masturbation cream is perfect for any solo session. Its viscosity is exquisite and has been a favorite, best-seller for decades! Elbow Grease Creams should only be used with polyurethane condoms and are not latex compatible. CONTINUED ON PAGE 46

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 44

1ST HAND LUBRICANT THE1STHAND.COM 1ST HAND LUBE has been expertly formulated to increase the satisfaction of the male orgasm, whether used alone or with a partner. The patented design allows for long-lasting lubrication, without any unpleasant chemical odor. This water-based 1st Hand Lubricant was created for the sole purpose of making every orgasm reach the most eye-rolling, mind-blowing explosion ever. It is designed with a cutting-edge, long-lasting blend of water and silicone. It is paraben-free, so completely non-toxic and non-allergenic and washes off super easily. 1st Hand Lubricant delivers an unforgettable sexual experience, so go ahead and give 1st Hand a good, um ... hand.

MAX ATTRACT PHEROMONE COLOGNE CLASSICEROTICA.NET LAST, BUT NOT LEAST-as promised-we bring you Sex Attract for Him. Giving a new meaning to the words animal attraction, the Max Attract Pheromone Cologne provides a bold, erotic masculine fragrance to give each man his own sexual identity. It is made with cologne alcohol base for a lasting scent that provides the perfect finishing touch for a wild, sexual adventure anytime. It mixes with each manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s natural pH balance and pheromone output to develop his natural sexual scent which increases the natural body pheromone output from the wearer. It is designed to entice and arouse while providing maximum magnetic sexual appeal. It begs one to wonder, what does your pheromone cologne smell like? 4 6 T H E F I GH T | J U N E 2013

MAX AROUSAL EXCITING MALE SEX PLEASURE GEL CLASSICEROTICA.NET THIS PLEASURE GEL promises to maximize your sex life, arouse, stimulate and intensify sexual pleasure. Formulated with powerful ingredients to increase the male Libido, the Max Arousal Exciting Male Sex Pleasure Gel uses L-Arginineâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; an amino acid that enhances the action of nitric oxide present in the body. When applied topically, the gel signals the smooth muscle surrounding the blood vessels in the penis to relax, thus allowing dilation of the blood vessels to increase blood flow, which assists with increased blood engorgement of the penis, stronger libido and exciting sexual sensations. Niacin (Vitamin B3) plays a vital role in energy production and blood circulation to the penis. Known as Niacin Sex Flush, its stimulating benefits produces sensations of tingly, intense warmth and increase blood flow for greater excitement. The menthol/peppermint oil produces a stimulating, cool/warm tingling sensation that is bound to take you there. n

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LAPTOP OR MOBILE

WE’RE VERSATILE

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 47

THEEPIDEMIC >> JUNE 2013 <<

ASHES TO ASHES NEW REPORT FINDS THAT HIV-POSITIVE SMOKERS LOST MORE YEARS OF LIFE TO THEIR CIGARETTES THAN TO HIV. l After being diagnosed, it’s hard not to wonder how HIV will affect your life expectancy. For HIV-positive people, though, the most important factor in how long you live may not be your positive status but whether you smoke, reports Neal Broverman at www.hivplusmag.com. A 15-year study of 13,500 Europeans recently released its startling findings: There were three times as many smoking-related deaths

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among people with HIV as in the general population. Even more disturbing was the discovery that positive smokers lost more years of life to their cigarettes than to HIV. Surprisingly, these patients were receiving free and regular antiretroviral care-and still dying at alarming numbers. “More than 60% of deaths among HIV patients are associated with smoking” rather than HIV, said researcher Marie Helleberg, MD, of Copenhagen University Hospital. Studies show that smoking is prevalent among people with HIV: about half of those with the virus light up, compared to 19% of all Americans. As antiretrovirals help people live longer with HIV, many are having their lives cut short not from their disease but from lifestyle factors related to obesity, alcohol, drug abuse, and smoking, reports www.hivplusmag.com. The Danish study found that a

A 35-year-old HIV patient who currently smokes has an average life expectancy of 62.6 years, almost 16 years shorter than a nonsmoker with HIV. 35-year-old HIV patient who currently smokes has an average life expectancy of 62.6 years, almost 16 years shorter than a nonsmoker with HIV. “The loss of years of life associated with smoking was twice as high as that associated with HIV among HIV-infected patients,” the researchers note. The researchers say their findings prove you should quit smoking now since “smoking may impact life expectancy considerably more than the HIV infection itself.” n For info on quitting, go to SmokeFree.gov.

NAKED IN NY

“PLAY MY F**KN REMIX,” SIR ARI GOLD’S SIXTH ALBUM, OFFERS FANS A GLIMPSE AT GOLD’S MORE CHEEKY SIDE. BY VICTOR MELAMED SIR ARI GOLD runs naked through the streets of New York- in his new 3D music video, that is—to mark the release of his sixth album, “Play My F**kn Remix,” out this month. A retrospective remix project, “Play My F**kn Remix” chronicles Gold’s pioneering career as an openly gay male pop singer-songwriter since his first album was released in 2000. The 13-track album includes 11 remixes of his Billboard Top 10 award-winning singles, and two previously unreleased new songs, “Details Of My Life” and “Love Goddess (Tribute to Marilyn).” The album will also feature photographic art by celebrity photographer Mike Ruiz, which will also be used for Ruiz’s new app, #prettymasculine. The kick-off single, “Play My F**kn Record (Country Club Martini Radio Mix),” offers fans a glimpse at Gold’s more cheeky side, in a new 3D music video by director Francis Legge. The video will feature, among other things, Gold going au naturale and showing, shall we say, a more feminine side of himself. The song is included on a new six-track maxi-single, available on iTunes. This beat-driven album honors Gold’s brand new “Visionary Award” presented to him last year by the LGBT Academy of Recording Arts (LARA), in recognition of his musical career, his achievements, and his everlasting support for the LGBT community and its fight for equality. “I don’t know what gave me the strength to fight against a homophobic industry and be openly gay from the beginning of my career, but I do know that going out to the clubs, house music, and dancing, were always such a big part of my journey, and so this remix retrospective is also a tribute to that,” said Gold. n For more information, visit Sir Ari Gold’s official website, www.arigold.com. Gold can also be followed on Twitter at @SirAriGold,, YouTube/SirAriGold and on Facebook/SirAriGold. JUNE 2013 | TH E F I GH T 49

THEEVENT

>> JUNE 2013 <<

CINCO DE MAYO FIESTA > First Annual Tortilla Republic Cinco de

Mayo Fiesta took place West Hollywood last month. The neighborhood street party, benefitting Project Angelfood, was hosted by Tortilla Republic, a modern Mexican restaurant grill and tequileria. The outdoor celebration featured food, drinks, and live entertainment - to celebrate Mexican heritage and culture. n

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PHOTOS BY GOGAYTODAY.COM

>> JUNE 2013 <<

LONG BEACH MAYORâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PRIDE RECEPTION > Kicking off pride week, Long

Beach Mayor Bob Foster, along with The Center Long Beach, hosted a private reception at the Long Beach Museum of Art. Keys to the City were given to the founders of Long Beach Lesbian and Gay Pride, that started the pride celebration 30 years ago. n

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THECALENDAR >> JUNE 2013 <<

FRIDAY, JUNE 7

LA PRIDE FESTIVAL West Hollywood Park, Friday, June 7, 5pm - 12am, Saturday, June 8, 12pm - 12am, Sunday, June 9, 11am - 11pm, for more info: www.lapride.org. OUT THERE Gallery 825, 825 N. La Cienega Boulevard, opening reception June 6-9pm, runs through June 14, free. Los Angeles Art Association presents its annual gallery show celebrating Pride.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12

GROUPS

HOW TO SURVIVE A PLAGUE Silver Screen Theatre, Pacific Design Center, 8687 Melrose Ave, West Hollywood, 6pm. A screening of the Academy Award nominated film featuring a panel discussion with the filmmakers and local activists and dignitaries.

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org

API ARTISTS PRESENT! West Hollywood Library, City Council Chambers, 625 N. San Vicente Boulevard, 7pm. An evening of performances and presentations by Queer Asian Pacific artists. THURSDAY, JUNE 13

WEST HOLLYWOOD IN BLOOM West Hollywood Library, Community Meeting Room, 625 N. San Vicente Boulevard, 7pm. For more info: www.artsinbloom.com. Discover local queer writers who have appeared in the pages of BLOOM. FRIDAY, JUNE 14

PURPLE PARTY AND DYKE MARCH West Hollywood Park, for more info: www.lapride.org/pride2013. Christopher Street West presents an entire evening celebrating female pride and entertainment in and around West Hollywood Park.

OUTLAUGH! COMEDY SPECIAL EVENT West Hollywood Library, City Council Chambers, 625 N. San Vicente Boulevard, 8pm. For more info: www.outlaughfestival.com America’s first and continuing queer comedy festival have come together to create a unique one-night comedy event.

SATURDAY, JUNE 8

SATURDAY, JUNE 15

OUT AT UNIVERSAL Universal Studios Hollywood, from 3pm, for more info: www.outatuniversal.com. Masterbeat and Tom Whitman present a spectacular gay day and night at Universal Studios Hollywood theme park.

ALAP GAY PLAYREADING FESTIVAL Celebration Theatre, 7051 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood, 1pm, free. For more info: www.laplaywrights.org The Association of Los Angeles Playwrights (ALAP) will present a reading of new short gay and lesbian plays.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9

LA PRIDE PARADE Along Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, 11am, for more info: www.lapride.org. Parade steps off at 11am and travels westbound along Santa Monica Blvd., from Crescent Heights Blvd., to the main entrance of the LA PRIDE Festival at San Vicente Blvd. PRIDE PARADE VIEWING PARTY Palihouse Rooftop, 8465 Holloway Drive, West Hollywood, 10:30am. For more info: www.chadhudsonevents.com. Watch the parade from the best view in Boystown, right above the media platform. 5 2 T H E F IGH T | J UN E 2013

SUNDAY, JUNE 16

SUMMER SOUNDS CONCERT West Hollywood Park, 647 N. San Vicente Boulevard. 1pm, free. Special Father’s Day Concert, co-sponsored by the Pop-Luck Club, RaiseAChild. US, and The Abbey, amongst others. TOM’S BAR Faultline Bar, 4216 Melrose, Los Angeles, 2pm. For more info: tomoffinlandfoundation.org. Tom Of Finland Foundation presents their 22nd Annual Commemoration of Tom Of Finland. Artists, silent auction, contests, prizes, give-aways and more.

GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30 p.m. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. (323) 650-1503 GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 2011561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.” SUPPORT FOR HIV-POSITIVE WOMEN Second and fourth wednesdays, 7 p.m. The David Geffen Center, 611 south Kingsley Dr., Los Angeles. More info: call Women At Risk at (310) 204-1046. SOCAL SOCIAL CLUB For more info: www.Socalsocialclub.com. Southern California’s social & business network for lgbt professionals. 12 STEP GROUPS

editor@thefightmag.com CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com

>> JUNE 2013 << www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www. greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089

LA ROWING www.larowing.org

DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042

DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org

LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

WORSHIP

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club.

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES

WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit

www.thefightmag.com

JUNE 2013 | T H E F I GH T 53

THEFINALFIGHT

>> JUNE 2013 <<

MY SELF IS THE TRUTH EVEN THOUGH I’LL LIKELY HAVE EVEN MORE DIFFICULTY FINDING A JOB AS A TRANS PERSON, BE AT A VASTLY HIGHER RISK OF ASSAULT, AND BE VIEWED BY MANY AS NEITHER WHOLLY MAN NOR WHOLLY WOMAN, I AM STILL THE WOMAN I AM. BY ZINNIA JONES l The margins of society are a rough place for anyone to live. As minorities that are regarded with suspicion and distrust by the wider culture, lesbian, gay, bi and trans people predictably experience higher levels of abuse, discrimination, homelessness, completed and attempted suicide, substance use, and a variety of health conditions. The statistics are all too familiar by now. But some people don’t believe these facts compel us to identify and address the underlying causes of such inequalities. Instead, they draw completely different conclusions, and focus on the individual rather than 5 4 T H E F I GH T | J U N E 2013

the world LGBT people have to live in. It might take the form of “exgays” who lament how their lives used to be an unsatisfying blur of drinking, drugs, porn, loveless relationships and casual sex, until God pulled them out of that “lifestyle.” It might be the friends and family members who, out of genuine or feigned concern, warn us that we’ll be unhappy, unfulfilled, and vulnerable to discrimination and diseases if we’re gay. It might be the social conservatives who declare that “if we want to see fewer students commit suicide, we want fewer homosexual students.” We might even inflict it on ourselves, recoiling in fear from the countless stories of how difficult it can be to go through

life as a trans person, and deciding we couldn’t possibly be that. Everyone who does this makes the same mistake: They fail to realize that none of this changes who we are. These external factors do nothing to alter our internal reality, because facts aren’t something that can be argued away. Just because you got tired of living a shallow life of constant partying, that doesn’t make you any less gay (and such a life has no inherent connection to being gay anyway). The prevalence of discrimination, bullying, suicide, or HIV among LGBT people won’t make you any straighter. And even though I’ll likely have even more difficulty finding a job as a trans person, be at a vastly higher risk of assault, and be viewed by many as neither wholly man nor wholly woman, I am still the woman I am. Do some people genuinely realize that a former sexual or gender identity didn’t encompass the totality of who they are? It’s certainly possible. I’ve been there before. But those who argue that a miserable life should make us any less queer are simply using an appeal to consequences against the very substance of who we are, and it’s just as fallacious as it is in any other circumstance. While some of them have made the choice to ignore who they are inside and live their lives differently for fear of these consequences, they can’t expect that their concerns will be equally compelling to the rest of us. As real as these unfortunate facts of life may be, so is the reality of who I am: My self is the truth. And like any other truth, it’s something I refuse to deny. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. (William Ernest Henley) Read more commentary by Zinnia Jones at: www.freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones