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THECONTENTS
>> HAPPY NEW YEAR <<
COVER STORIES AND FEATURES COACH 18 BAD Chris Kluwe On NFL Homophobia
18
22
26
ONE 22 DAY Paulo Murillo On Continuous Sobriety
28 24
STORY 24 LOVE Jason Dottley On New Beginnings TO HOLLYWOOD 26 WELCOME The Duck Dynasty Controversy VALUES 28 FAMILY Gabriel Blau On LGBT Adoption SHOCKER 31 SCHOCK Closeted Anti-LGBT Politicians BREAKING NEWS 35 STILL Don Lemon On Coming Out OF QUEERNESS 36 STIRRINGS Zinnia Jones: The Teenage Years
38 TURING’S PARDON
Royal Pardon For Gay Hero
ON THE COVER COVER MODEL: JASON DOTTLEY. COVER PHOTO, MAIN TOC PHOTO AND “LOVE STORY” FEATURE PHOTO COURTESY OF JD3 RECORDS
DEPARTMENTS 12 THE TALK Michelle Obama, Lady Gaga 15 THE STATE Licensing Trans Athletes 16 THE CITY Rainbow Key Awards 20 THE ROSTOW REPORT Marriage Fight 30 THE LAW Come Clean In 2014 32 THE PROFILE Robyn Perchik 34 THE MONEY Ageing And Finances 40 THE EPIDEMIC Slight Setback 42 THE EVENT #Boom in WeHo
31
44 THE CALENDAR Events, Groups
35 4 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2014
36
38
46 THE FINAL FIGHT Rob Smith
THEEDITOR
>> IN THIS ISSUE <<
l “At day one I was given what some like to call the gift of desperation. By the grace of something greater than myself, that one day has recently turned into seven years of continuous sobriety for yours truly this January 10,” reveals Paulo Murillo, writing about his journey becoming clean and sober (“Day One,” page 22). “I wish I could articulate the cringeinducing shame I felt in those first days of sobriety,” writes Murillo. “Recovery went against everything that I believed in or stood for. It also contradicted my family upbringing, for there isn’t a single family member in my gene pool who is sober or works any program of recovery that I’m aware of. The shame was unbearable. I thought my life was over...” “Every New Year, I’m reminded of Day One when I see newcomers line up to get their welcome chips with their tight little bodies and shocked facial expressions,” reveals Murillo. “It’s newcomer season in the month of January. Those welcome chips fly faster than a brand new gym membership in the beginning of the year. Some guys get it and stick around. Some guys do not. But it’s always fascinating to see a new life flourish for those who do decide to stay.” Also in this issue—three-time top 25 Billboard recording artist and television actor Jason Dottley talks about marriage, divorce and new beginnings (“Love Story,” page 24). After divorcing playwright-filmmaker Del Shores (Sordid Lives, Southern Baptists Sissies), his husband of eight years, Dottley, on the eve of the release of his new song “Love Story,” states, “... love is not something to be afraid of. A broken heart heals and will love again.” “Love Story” is the first of a three-part experience Dottley is calling “The Love Story Project” that will also include a music video and a Love-U-Mentary film. “’The Love Story Project’ is my attempt to help people see people as people, and not ideas,” he says. “And to emphasize that the fight for equality is not just an American but a global fight.” Dottley has long been a fighter for gay marriage. When he was married to Del Shores, they were among the poster boys of the gay marriage movement. Upon announcing their divorce, Del Shores apologized for disappointing fans but noted that their divorce also proved them to be equally human to the 41% of straight couples that split each year. Dottley agrees and says his divorce taught him a lot about love. And speaking of love, Gabriel Blau, the new Executive Director of Family Equality Council, talks to Mark Ariel about LGBT adoption (“Family Values,” page 28). “As a father and advocate, Family Equality Council is a natural place where my passions come together,” reveals Blau. “... When we put families forward, tell their stories, and look at issues through the lens of family we achieve our goals,” states Blau. “As the movement continues to move forward ... [we play] a critical role in achieving social and legal equality for all LGBTQ people, and for my husband, our son, and me.”
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Paul Vallejo Timothy Walker Donny Aldo SOCIAL MEDIA Tim Kreslake WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio
GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com
THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2014 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.
TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001
STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief
6 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2014
THECONTRIBUTORS ZINNIA JONES Zinnia Jones is an atheist activist, writer, and video blogger focusing on the impact of religious belief, political follies, and LGBTQ rights. Since 2008 her videos have been viewed over 7 million times. You can reach her on Twitter @Zjemptv. Her YouTube channel is at www.zinniajones.com. GRANT GOCHIN Grant Gochin is a Wealth Advisor and Certified Financial Planner professional located in Encino. Grant is married (to a man) and he and his husband have one son. He can be reached at (818) 827-3410 or via email at: grant.gochin@raymondjames.com.
8 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2014
>> OUR WRITERS <<
PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a bi-weekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit. com, or friend him on Facebook. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com.
DAVID HAKIMFAR Los Angeles based Attorney David Hakimfar received his law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. While there, he made the Honor Roll and National Dean’s List. Currently David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC. He can be reached at: 1-888-789-PRIDE (7743). ROB SMITH Rob Smith is an author, lecturer, writer, and LGBT activist. His first book “Closets, Combat, and Coming Out: Coming of Age as a Gay Man in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Army” will be released in February. He can be found at www.robsmithonline.com.
CELEBRATE THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE LESBIAN & GAY LAWYERS ASSOCIATION OF LOS ANGELES (LGLA) As one of the oldest and largest LGBT Attorney organizations in the U.S., we proudly invite you to celebrate 35 years of providing leadership in Los Angeles the State and Country on behalf of the LGBT community.
Saturday March 8, 2014 at the JW Marriott/LA Live
SPECTACULAR GUESTS
• • • • • • • •
Keynote - Judge Vaughn Walker - (Overturned Proposition 8) California State Bar President - Luis Rodriguez Corporate Award - Toyota Co-Presidents Award - Zach Wahls Community Service Award - Laurie Aronoff (AIDS Legal Services Project) Lee Paige Award - Ronald Lachman Retired Navy Seal and Transgender Activist - Kristin Beck LA Based Singing Group - “The Cuddlers”
TABLES
• Premium Platinum (Host) - $7500 (premium seating table of 10 + full-page ad on back cover + signage/materials at reception)
• Platinum Sponsor - $5000 (premium seating table of 10 +
full-page ad on inside cover) • Gold Sponsor - $3000 (premium seating table of 10 + full-page ad)
• Silver Sponsor - $2500 (table of 10 + half-page ad) • Partner - $1500 (table of 5 + half-page ad) • Individual Tickets - $175
To purchase tables or ads, contact wesleyking@me.com or call 805-712-7927. Individual tickets will be available from LGLA.com starting January 2014.
“LOVE IS SWEEPING THE COUNTRY” LGLA is an IRC 501(c)(6) organization. Tax ID No. 95-395835335
JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 9
Miracles Happen
Help an older foster youth realize the dream of family
Kidsave adoptive family: Alex, Gregg and their son, Jacob
Special Performance by Raja Gemini
Join us for a cocktail party in support of Kidsave
Tuesday, January 28th, 2014 6:30pm - 9:30pm
Ticket: $25 Includes one drink ticket, hors d’oeuvres and all the fun you can have!
Eleven Nightclub 8811 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood, CA
• Entertainment • • Live & Silent Auction • Raffle • *This is a 21 and over event*
Your Love is Real, Share It. A Kidsave Fundraiser
MEDIA SPONSOR
MEDIA SPONSOR To purchase tickets or learn more about event sponsorship opportunities, visit our website at www.kidsave.org/miracles-happen or call (310) 642-7283.
THELETTERS >> FROM OUR READERS <<
OUR DIALOGUE Dear Editor, As an old gay elephant, I respectfully ask when is the last time you heard a gay or lesbian politician or community leader talk about the needs of poor and working poor gay, lesbian or trans people of any color? At this time, our dialogue concerning the “gay agenda” needs to be considerably broadened to include the needs of our poor brothers and sisters, those still being stalked by HIV/AIDS and other gay/lesbian issues like the elimination of food stamps and the eradication of unemployment insurance. Deck the Halls. Deck the cardboard boxes. For the sake of tending to the soul of the community. —Don Kilhefner, Ph.D., Los Angeles
FILL THAT VOID Dear Editor, Thank you for your article on shopping addiction (“The Realities Of Shopping Addiction,” THE FIGHT, Issue 35). I know a few gay men (my boyfriend included) who struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of not being “good enough,” and use shopping to fill that void. In general, I want to commend THE FIGHT for including topics that deal with the sometimes unspoken psychological issues of our community. Keep up the good work! —Name Withheld, via the internet
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LET’S NOT FORGET Dear Editor, “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.” (Leviticus 20:13). When the Bible speaks of homosexuality, its emphasis is on behavior, not condition. God loves sinners, but condemns sin. And the Bible’s verdict on homosexual behavior, as with all sexual immorality, is that it is sinful. Let’s not forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment. —Name Withheld, via the internet
> WRITE TO THE EDITOR Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements. JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 11
THETALK > > W H AT T H E Y ’ R E S AY I N G < <
ROBIN ROBERTS
BRIAN BOITANO
A GLORIOUS NEW YEAR “I am grateful for my entire family, my long-time girlfriend, Amber, and friends as we prepare to celebrate a glorious new year together.” —Good Morning America co-anchor Robin Roberts coming out her Facebook page, mentioning her girlfriend Amber Laign.
JUST ONE PART “I am many things: a son, a brother, and uncle, a friend, an athlete, a cook, an author, and being gay is just one part of who I am... First and foremost I am an American athlete and I am proud to live in a country that encourages diversity, openness and tolerance. As an athlete, I hope we can remain focused on the Olympic spirit which celebrates achievement in sport by peoples of all nations.” —American figure skating star and Olympic champion Brian Boitano coming out last month. Boitano joins out Olympic hockey player Caitlyn Cahow and tennis icon Billie Jean King, among others, in the delegation representing the U.S. in Sochi.
GET A GRIP
MICHELLE OBAMA
MAKE US ALL PROUD “I’m so happy for you and Amber... You continue to make us all proud!” —Michelle Obama, in a tweet, lauding ABC host Robin Roberts for coming out. 1 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
“Pope Francis is a lot of things to many people in the world. But he is not our hero of the LGBT community in 2013. Can we MICHELANGELO SIGNORILE please get a grip, folks? Are we that starved for validation?” —Michelangelo Signorile, on The Advocate’s decision to name Pope Francis Person of the Year. In response the Advocate stated that they “never used the word ‘hero.’”
WHO THEY LOVE “[We support legislation that] demands equality and nondiscrimination for all employees, regardless of who they love.” —Apple CEO TIM Tim Cook in a COOK speech at the U.N., while receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award from his alma mater, Auburn University. Although Cook has never spoken publicly or to the media about being gay, the intensely private man who runs one of the most powerful companies in the world, has been named the most powerful LGBT person in the world in Out Magazine’s annual power list. IVAN OKHLOBYSTIN
IN THE OVEN
“I’d put them all alive in the oven...it’s a living danger to my children.” —The star of a popular Russian sitcom, Ivan Okhlobystin, on gays, to a studio audience. LADY GAGA
WRONG AND SAD “I don’t think that we should be going to the Olympics at all... It made me very sad to see the pain that some of the gay kids are in—in Russia, and for the world to send their finest for the Olympics... I can’t, it just feels so wrong and sad.” —Lady Gaga, to Alan Carr on his Channel 4 show “Chatty Man,” in the UK, referring to Russia’s recently passed anti-gay legislation.
JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 13
THESTATE >> FALLON FOX <<
STATE CONSIDERS LICENSING TRANS ATHLETES
I’m charting my own future.
THE PROPOSED POLICY WOULD RESEMBLE POLICIES IN PLACE WITH THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC COMMITTEE AND NCAA. > The California State
FALLON Athletic Commission FOX met last month to discuss rule changes that would pave the way for transgender athletes to compete in professional athletic events. Earlier this year, Fallon Fox, a professional mixed martial arts fighter, came out as transgender in an interview with Sports Illustrated, reports The Advocate at www.adovcate.com. At the time, little was known about what the future would hold for Fox’s fighting career, with some claiming that she has a physical advantage over the cisgender (nontrans) women she fights. MMA commentator and former Fear Factor host, Joe Rogan dedicated nearly 10 minutes of a March podcast to hurling transphobic insults at Fox, asserting that she shouldn’t be allowed to fight women, calling the 5’7” Fox “huge.” Nine months later, reports The Advocate, the California State Athletic Commission is considering adopting a system of rules and regulations that would allow trans athletes to obtain licenses to participate in boxing, kickboxing, and mixed martial arts competitions throughout the state. The proposed policy, which will go through a series of public hearings prior to being finalized and implemented, would resemble policies in place with the International Olympic Committee and NCAA. On May 17, 2004, the International Olympic Committee adopted what is known as the Stockholm Consensus, the policy that opened the door for transgender athletes to compete in the Olympic Games. The policy determines that a transgender athlete must have undergone at least two years of hormone replacement therapy, have received legal recognition of their gender within their country, and gone through some form of gender-confirming surgery. This policy, while seen as too strict by some, has set a standard to which other organizations have looked when tackling the subject of trans athletic competition. But some still question whether transgender athletes have an advantage over their cisgender counterparts. Dr. Marci Bowers, one of the world’s most well-known surgeons specializing in gender-confirming surgeries, gave an interview earlier this year to MMA website BloodyElbow.com, confirming that a transgender woman’s body is substantially similar to a cisgender woman’s bod. “Most measures of physical strength minimize, muscle mass decreases, bone density decreases, and they become fairly comparable to women in their musculature,” Bowers told BloodyElbow. “After as much time as has passed in [Fox’s] case, if tested, she would probably end up in the same muscle mass category as her biologically-born-female counterpart.” n
Mitch, D.A.P. client
D.A.P. treats and supports the whole person High-quality, primary and HIV-specialty medical care through our Wells Fargo Health Center is only the beginning of what our clients find at Desert AIDS Project. Our case managers facilitate our holistic approach to care with a broad array of services, including our HIV-specialty dental clinic, food and housing support, home care, Eastern medicine alternatives, in-house lab services and pharmacy, mental health and substance abuse programs, a full-service community center offering a computer lab, wellness programs, health education, and so much more.
All under one roof Thanks to your generous support, Desert AIDS Project has been saving lives for 30 years. Please continue to help by donating at desertAIDSproject.org, joining one of our annual giving programs, or by saving the date for one of our upcoming fundraising events. 20th Annual Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards Gala February 8, 2014 Haute 4 Help Fashion Event | March 7, 2014 Thirst for Life | April 2014 Celebrity Doodles | April 5, 2014 Dining Out for Life | April 24, 2014 Desert Drag Race | May 11, 2014
760.323.2118 desertAIDSproject.org
JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 15
THECITY >> GAY ROSE PARADE WEDDING • CYBERTHEIEVES • KEY AWARDS • CLOTHING DRIVE • NOH8 ANNIVERSARY <<
MEDIA IGNORES ROSE PARADE’S GAY WEDDING
AUBREY LOOTS, DANNY LECLAIR
l If you missed the gay wedding aboard the AIDS Healthcare Foundation float during the 125th Rose Parade in Pasadena at the beginning of the month - you’re not alone. Multiple TV stations cut away from the float quickly or entirely during the live broadcast. ABC went to commercial to avoid showing the gay marriage float, while NBC showed the AIDS Healthcare Foundation float, commenting on flowers but ignoring the gay wedding. The two men who said their “I do’s” atop a giant wedding cake on the float were Aubrey Loots and Danny Leclair. “To be able to declare my love to the world at large in hopes of inspiring others to live proudly and authentically is an enormous honor,” Leclaire told the San Francisco Chronicle.
DWAYNE WYNN
CENTER COMPROMISED BY CYBERTHIEVES
CLOTHING DRIVE FOR LGBT YOUTH l The City of West Hollywood will, in January, host its second annual clothing drive for the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Youth Center on Highland. The New Year is a perfect time to clean out your closet and lend a helping hand. Clothing will be accepted from the general public and all items collected will be distributed to LGBT youth in need. Items can be deposited in collection bins at West Hollywood City Hall, located at 8300 Santa Monica Boulevard, until January 31, 2014.
SAN DIEGO GAY MAN SEVERELY BEATEN l Three men screamed antigay slurs before hopping out of a car and beating a man with a bat in San Diego last month, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com. Dwayne Wynn suffered a broken eye socket, fractured fingers, and three cracked ribs that required 18 stitches in his side. The attack occurred in a residential section of Hillcrest, the city’s gay neighborhood, and Wynn, who says he thought the men were going to kill him, says he was clearly targeted because he’s gay. “I was covered in blood and I could hear them literally high fiving each other as they’re walking to their truck,” Wynn told ABC 10 News.
NOH8 CAMPAIGN’S 5TH ANNIVERSARY l The NOH8 Campaign celebrated its 5th anniversary with a special event at Avalon in Hollywood, last month. Responding to the passage of Proposition 8 in California, campaign co-founders Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley launched NOH8 in 2008 as a photographic protest to call for marriage equality. With over 33,000 photos taken thus far and same-sex marriage rights restored ADAM BOUSKA, JEFF PARSHLEY in California, the campaign has evolved to become a platform against all forms of hate. For more info visit: www.noh8campaign.com. 1 6 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2014
l The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center was the victim of a sophisticated cyber attack that, according to data security and technology experts, was designed to collect credit card, Social Security numbers and other financial information, although there is no evidence that anyone’s information was actually accessed or acquired. The Center is working with law enforcement officials to identify those responsible for this criminal act, while notifying approximately 59,000 clients and former clients that information related to them may have been compromised between September 17, 2013 and November 8, 2013. Additional information will be available on the Center’s website: lagaycenter.org.
WEHO RAINBOW KEY AWARDS l The City of West Hollywood has, since 1993, presented Rainbow Key Awards to people who have made outstanding contributions to the gay and lesbian community. These contributions, whether by an individual or a group, may be in many forms, including the arts, community action, humanitarian action, sports, medicine, armed services, leadership potential, benefit to the global gay and lesbian community, or in other ways. Past honorees have included activists, artists, civic leaders, educators, community organizations, and more. The City of West Hollywood is now gathering nominations for its 2014 Rainbow Key Awards. The awards event is expected to take place in June 2014. A two-page nomination form is available as a downloadable PDF file and is posted on the City’s website at weho.org. n
KLUWE, WHO IS STRAIGHT, QUOTES PRIEFER AS SAYING AT ONE POINT: “WE SHOULD ROUND UP ALL THE GAYS, SEND THEM TO AN ISLAND, AND THEN NUKE IT UNTIL IT GLOWS.” est with you. ... He’s got to focus on punting and holding.” Kluwe writes that while he had one particularly bad game, at that point his performance was on par with previous seasons. Still, he was receiving negative feedback. He said he was given the cold shoulder after the season ended and on 6 May 2013 was informed he was being let go after eight years with the team. Kluwe writes: “If there’s one thing I hope to achieve from sharing this story, it’s to make sure that Mike Priefer never holds a coaching position again in the NFL, and ideally never coaches at any level.” He adds: “It’s inexcusable that someone would use his status as a teacher and a role model to proselytize on behalf of his own doctrine of intolerance, and I hope he never gets another opportunity to pass his example along to anyone else.”
BAD COACH EX-PUNTER CHRIS KLUWE SAYS HE WAS FIRED FROM MINNESOTA VIKINGS BECAUSE OF HIS GAY ACTIVISM AND A “BIGOT COACH.” CHRIS KLUWE CAME OUT SWINGING this month against his former NFL team, the Minnesota Vikings, for firing him from his job as a punter after eight years, reports Greg Hernandez at gaystarnews.com. In a column published on the sports web site Deadspin, Kluwe calls special-teams coordinator Mike Priefer a “bigot” who didn’t agree with his increasingly high-profile work for LGBTI equality. The former player alleges that Priefer—the coach directly responsible for reviewing Kluwe’s job performance—suddenly started using homophobic language in his presence throughout September, October and November of 2012, reports Hernandez. Kluwe, who is straight, quotes Priefer as saying at one point: “We should round up all the gays, send them to an island, and then nuke it until it glows.”
CONSTANTLY BELITTLE Kluwe also writes of Priefer: “He would ask me if I had written any letters defending ‘the gays’ recently and denounce as disgusting the idea that two men would kiss, and he would constantly belittle or demean any idea of acceptance or tolerance.” The coach, in a session with the media, referred to Kluwe’s activism as “those distractions” which he said “are getting old for me, to be hon1 8 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
tent with team policy. Chris was released strictly based on his football performance.” Kluwe maintains he can still perform at a top NFL level but he believes his career in the league is over. “Whether it’s my age, my minimum veteran salary, my habit of speaking my mind, or (most likely) a combination of all three, my time as a football player is done,” he writes. Kluwe concludes the column with this: “Some will ask if the NFL has a problem with institutionalized homophobia. I don’t think it does. I think there are homophobic people in the NFL, in all positions, but that’s true for society as well, and those people eventually get replaced. All we can do is try to expose their behavior when we see it and call them to account for their actions.” n
MIKE PRIEFER RESPONDS
EXPOSE THEIR BEHAVIOR Priefer is reportedly the main candidate for the team’s head coaching job. The Vikings issued a statement saying they are taking Kluwe’s allegations “very seriously” and the matter would get “thorough review,” reports Greg Hernandez at gaystarnews.com. The team states in part: “Any notion that Chris was released from our football team due to his stance on marriage equality is entirely inaccurate and inconsis-
> As we went to press— Minnesota Vikings special teams coordinator Mike Priefer issued a statement in response to Kluwe’s accusations, claiming that he does not “tolerate discrimination of any type” and says that he has gay family members whom he loves and supports. “I want to be clear that I do not tolerate discrimination of any type and am respectful of all individuals,” said Priefer. n
JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 19
THEROSTOWREPORT
BY ANN ROSTOW
THE WRITING ON THE WALL
> Oh my God! Can you believe what’s going on in Utah? Unfortunately, the most exciting developments seem likely to unfold a day or two after this issue goes to press. As you should know by now if you’re a responsible member of our vibrant GLBTLMNOP community, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit has twice, or maybe three times, refused to put a stay on the lower federal court ruling that legalized marriage in Utah in mid-December. This is extraordinarily unusual by historical standards, but sort of par for the course in the wake of the High Court’s June DOMA ruling. Nonetheless, the Tenth Circuit’s brief statement indicates that the appellate court does not think the state of Utah is likely to succeed on the merits of the case. Furthermore, the state is not experiencing any drastic hardship by being required to marry gay men and lesbians while the appellate process goes forward. Translation: we are likely to win a significant appellate victory striking the antigay marriage amendments throughout the Tenth Circuit. Furthermore, the court has agreed to fast track the case and could be done with it by the spring. Meanwhile, Utah wants the Supreme Court to consider, not marriage, but the stay. State officials have hired some outside lawyers, we don’t know who at the moment, and they plan to send an emergency petition to the High Court on December 30. The petition will go to one of our allies, Justice Sotomayor, but it’s likely that she will ask all nine justices to take a stand. In theory, the justices are simply deciding whether or not the Tenth Circuit has made some gross screw up. But in truth, their decision will reveal much more. If the Court allows marriages to continue in Utah, it means they recognize that the writing is on the wall. If not, it could signal that the justices feel their DOMA ruling is pushing the country too far too fast. Look for the Court to act within days. Remember, this is not a lawsuit with all the arguments and deliberations. It’s an emergency motion.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
> Barring some unforeseen tangent, we could be about to witness the fight for marriage on fast forward. Setting three, if not four. Some of us have been watching a federal lawsuit against the state of Nevada, which is now pending in the Ninth Circuit, and has been sitting there for some time. But that case is crawling along like a slug, and the appellate court recently extended another deadline for written briefs until late January. It now looks as if the Utah case will leapfrog Nevada early next year. And there are a slew of federal cases now surging through the courts. A couple dozen at least and far more than I can track. Also in December, a federal judge in Ohio ruled that the Buckeye State must recognize same-sex marriages on death certificates. His ruling basically paved the way for Ohio to recognize marriages for all purposes. It seems clear that marriage rights are headed back to the High Court sooner rather than later. And with 18 states now celebrating marriage equality, it seems impossible that the Supremes would allow this country to continue its patchwork state laws. No state, no lawyer, no organization has been able to put forth a legitimate constitutional justification for marriage discrimination. And if the federal government can’t discriminate, why should Texas or Utah be allowed to do so?
THOSE WERE THE DAYS!
> I didn’t even mention New Mexico, where the state supreme court legalized marriage in December. Thanks Enchantment Land! Even though it’s 2 0 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
No state, no lawyer, no organization has been able to put forth a legitimate constitutional justification for marriage discrimination. And if the federal government can’t discriminate, why should Texas or Utah be allowed to do so? not a federal case, it’s another state in our column and another strong opinion on the books. And there’s all sorts of other news of course. The Duck Dynasty guy for instance. I have a question. I know that our community is quick to jump on malicious public commentary, and rightly so! But why did everyone ignore the fact that the Duck guy said he never witnessed racial discrimination during his life in Louisiana, and that all the blacks he knew were happy and enjoyed singing while they worked? Say what? Meanwhile, his gay comments were disgusting (literally) but somehow he gets a pass because of his “religious views?” Anyone recall Jesus ruminating on large vaginas?
CATCH 75
> I’m writing on December 28, the back end of “the holidays” when the struggle and pressure is over and the bacchanal continues for a few more days. I actually suffered no struggle or
pressure this year, but I remember the feeling from holidays past so late December still feels particularly relaxing. As such, I think it most appropriate to be enjoying a cocktail while I compose this end of year column. My favorite. French 75. Light, but deadly. Oh, by the way, I signed up for Obamacare in Texas where I live, and cut my insurance bill in half. I was beginning to doubt my beloved president, but the system finally came through for me. Ironically, the demise of the Defense of Marriage Act meant that I lost most of my health care tax benefit since Mel and I will file joint taxes for 2013. At the same time, her school district does not recognize our California marriage, so I do not qualify for her insurance policy. But I’m not complaining. That is, I’m not complaining about the end of DOMA. I will continue to complain about Texas. Who knows? Maybe Texas will be forced to recognize us in a couple of years. n
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JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 21
DAY ONE
but I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I stood up and introduced myself as an alcoholic addict with one day clean and sober.
I WANTED TO QUIT THE DRINKING, THE DRUGGING AND THE WHORING THAT WAS GIANT-SIZED EGO I wish I could articulate the FOLLOWED BY MORE DRINKING AND cringe-inducing shame I felt DRUGGING AND WHORING. I COULDN’T in those first days of sobriety. Recovery went against QUIT ON MY OWN. THE JIG WAS UP. BY PAULO MURILLO THERE COMES A POINT IN A CERTAIN GAY MAN’S LIFE when he faces the harsh reality that he is not Madonna. Needless to say, I was not having a Madonna moment when I stood outside the Van Ness Recovery House with my ass brutally beaten after a nasty four-day run with crystal meth that January 10, 2007. I was roughly 24-hours clean and sober when I made my way up that driveway on Beachwood Drive to check myself into rehab. Being on Day One sucked ass. I had some extravagant—if not delusional— ideas about myself—none of which included rehab being part of my story. Rehab was for quitters and I sir, was no quitter. I was a survivor, yet there was no denying that I had taken that dreaded first step and admitted complete powerlessness over drugs and alcohol. I wanted to quit the drinking, the drugging and the whoring that was followed by more drinking and drugging and whoring. I couldn’t quit on my own. The jig was up. I knew getting clean and sober was real this time. I knew my life would be split in a time and space between before and after I got sober. I knew I was done. It wouldn’t be easy, 2 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
everything that I believed in or stood for. It also contradicted my family upbringing, for there isn’t a single family member in my gene pool who is sober or works any program of recovery that I’m aware of. The shame was unbearable. I thought my life was over. I crashed and burned at the rocky bottom of addiction, yet I was still at the mercy of a giant-sized ego and pride that caused me tremendous suffering. The ache of my new existence, which throbbed like a rotten tooth, was this idea that I was no longer cool.
OMG, what will people think? Sobriety didn’t sound edgy, fun or anything remotely cool. And to quote Cher, “The worst thing in the world is to be uncool.” However, one look in the mirror and I had to let go of my old ideas where coolness was concerned. I was in really bad shape at one day sober—now don’t get it twisted, the body was cute with my tiny waist, tight washboard abs, perky pecs and broad shoulders, but the shocked look on my face exposed my drug use. I remember my clenched jaw, the sunken cheekbones, baggage under my bloodshot eyes, the rubbery texture of my skin, and the open pores that seemed to scream, “Tweaker!” Then there was the hurt on the inside, which goes without saying. My internal clock was all out of whack, which had me twitching all over the place. Everything straight up hurt, from the balls of my feet to my actual balls, to my chest, to the tips of my hair. Yeah, I was done.
IT’S NEWCOMER SEASON IN THE MONTH OF JANUARY. THOSE WELCOME CHIPS FLY FASTER THAN A BRAND NEW GYM MEMBERSHIP IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR. SOME GUYS GET IT AND STICK AROUND. SOME GUYS DO NOT. BUT IT’S ALWAYS FASCINATING TO SEE A NEW LIFE FLOURISH FOR THOSE WHO DO DECIDE TO STAY. EXPECT MIRACLES Every New Year, I’m reminded of Day One when I see newcomers line up to get their welcome chips with their tight little bodies and shocked facial expressions. It’s newcomer season in the month of January. Those welcome chips fly faster than a brand new gym membership in the beginning of the year. Some guys get it and stick around. Some guys do not. But it’s always fascinating to see a new life flourish for those who do decide to stay. People often ask me what a newcomer should expect in their early recovery, to which I say, stay out of expectations, then expect miracles; be open to everything and never forget those final moments that led to recovery. People don’t usually decide to get sober because they had a bad day, a bad week or a bad month, and whatever shit went down that led to that surrender doesn’t just go away by simply attending a few meetings. It works, but you have to work it. There are those who accrue some time and conveniently forget their early days in recovery. I’m always fascinated by the people with time who are straight up mean to those who are newly clean and sober-especially to those who are returnees, whether they’re being nasty and dismissive to a newcomer’s face, or by talking shit behind his back—oh how quickly some people can forget their Day One. It’s fucked up and unfair to judge or gossip about those who can’t stop doing what comes natural to all of us as alcoholics and drug addicts. We like to drink and use. Those who say they wouldn’t trade their worst day sober for their best day drunk are either full of shit, or they straight up weren’t drinking and drugging the right way. We actually go against what is normal when we stay clean and sober for many years. And in comes the miracle.
NO MORE SHAME At “Day One” I was given what some like to call the gift of desperation. By the grace of something greater than myself, that one day has recently turned into seven years of continuous sobriety for yours truly this January 10. Day one was awful. “Day One” is the reason I am still sober today. I strongly believe that it is easier to stay sober than to get sober, so if you’re new in recovery, stick around. It gets so much better. Looking back now, I can’t believe I thought my life was over when I made that first step. Life had actually just begun. To quote a soccer mom, “There’s no more shame in my game.” Madonna would be proud. n For more Paulo Murillo commentary visit thehissfit.com. Welcome chips provided by my12stepstore.com. JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 23
LOVE
THREE-TIME TOP 25 BILLBOARD RECORDING ARTIST AND TELEVISION ACTOR JASON DOTTLEY ON “THE LOVE STORY PROJECT,” MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND NEW BEGINNINGS. BY MARK ARIEL | PHOTO COURTESY OF JD3 RECORDS AFTER DIVORCING PLAYWRIGHT-FILMMAKER DEL SHORES (Sordid Lives, Southern Baptists Sissies), his husband of eight years, the multi-talented Jason Dottley is ready to return to music—and find love—with his new song “Love Story.” “‘Love Story’ is about being in love at a unique time in history when the world is finally beginning to accept two people of the same sex together,” says the three-time Top 25 Billboard recording artist and television actor, best known for his starring role on the cult-classic “Sordid Lives: The Series.” “Love Story” which releases on iTunes and major online retailers via JD3 Records on January 28, is a slice of 80’s pop, layered with synthesizer effects and emotionally compelling percussive touches. It is the first of a three-part experience Dottley is calling “The Love Story Project” that 2 4 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
STORY
will also include a music video and a Love-U-Mentary film. An Indiegogo campaign for the Love-U-Mentary film will launch the same day the video and single are released. Dottley plans to have the film ready for the Summer 2014 film festival circuit. “‘The Love Story Project’ is my attempt to help people see people as people, and not ideas,”
he says. “And to emphasize that the fight for equality is not just an American but a global fight.” Dottley has long been a fighter for gay marriage. When he was married to Del Shores, they were among the poster boys of the gay marriage movement. Upon announcing their divorce, Del Shores apologized for disappointing fans but noted that their divorce also proved them to be equally human to the 41% of straight couples that split each year. Dottley agrees and says his divorce taught him a lot about love. “Like any divorce, ours was extremely painful and emotionally crippling.” In an interview with THE FIGHT Dottley talks about coming out, marriage, divorce and new beginnings.
>> COVER FEATURE <<
CONTRARY TO ALL THE POST-DIVORCE CHATTER, FOR MOST OF OUR NEARLY 10 YEAR MARRIAGE, DEL [SHORES] AND I WERE AN INVINCIBLE COUPLE WHO EXPERIENCED A TRULY EPIC LOVE STORY TOGETHER. WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR YOU, AS A GAY BOY, GROWING UP IN MISSISSIPPI? I wasn’t out in Mississippi. Not that I needed to be! It was not easy. I developed a stutter from social anxiety. Fought headaches that started in elementary school. I remember this one redneck who enjoyed hocking loogies at me in the hallway. One day, years later, I was driving through Mississippi and I passed a roadside, make-shift memorial for him. It freaked me out because my first reaction was joy. The bully was gone.
YOU MOVED TO FLORIDA AND BECAME PART OF A COMMUNITY THEATRE. CAN TELL US ABOUT THAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE? Three days after moving to Florida I was cast in “Hello, Dolly!” at the local community theatre. I think I came out that same week. Something about being out of Mississippi, set me free. And, honey, I came out! Changed my whole wardrobe, blasted club music in the school parking lot, had highlights. I was a hot mess and loving every minute of it. I had my first boyfriends in Florida. Both such sweet guys. I’m still in touch with them. There was another side to my life in Florida. My dad died in a car wreck January of my senior year. I went from having never drank or smoked, to partying non-stop. Numb. Numb. Numb, please! I started to hang out with the toughest of straight guys. Guys that were in and out jail. Guys with guns. Drug dealers. On the weekends I was partying with these guys, doing enormous amounts of ecstasy and K at their houses, and through all of this, they taught me not to be fearful of the “straight guy.” I remember I was at a friend’s house party, “Frankie,” and someone from another high school called me a “faggot.” “Frankie” told him to never call me that again. The guy did and “Frankie” picked up the grill, threw it into the guy who was standing in front of a sliding glass patio door which went crashing as he and the grill busted through it. “Frankie” was a ring leader. No one messed with me in high school in Florida. I didn’t realize it at the time, but in retrospect, I think my gay presence and acceptance by this insanely tough straight crowd made an impact on a lot of guys who weren’t expecting it. Before this it was because I was so out and so loud and so proud. No one picks on that guy. I wasn’t the same Jason running scared of a loogie through Florence High School.
WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO MOVE TO LA? The weather. My grandfather took me out for a visit in November and to meet his friends there in the industry. A little trivia: my granddad John “Kayo” Dottley was managed by Bob Hope’s brother during his time as an NFL star. He’s also my hero. I had our convertible top down and I just couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I will live there again. When work calls.
HOW DID YOU MEET DEL SHORES—AND WHEN DID YOU GET MARRIED? One of my best friends at the time was his nanny. She introduced us and played relentless matchmaker. Del and I eventually met most
properly on a dance floor in West Hollywood. I made out with him while his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend danced in the fray. I knew very quickly that I was in love. And we were so in love. It sickened friends. We were that couple. I proposed on his birthday in 2002 and we were married Oct 26, 2003 on the beach in Malibu. It was rather perfect. Contrary to all the post-divorce chatter, for most of our nearly 10 year marriage, Del and I were an invincible couple who experienced a truly epic love story together. I count Del Shores and how he forever changed me as two of the greatest blessings I’ve had so far in my life.
LOOKING BACK, NOW AFTER THE DIVORCE, DO YOU HAVE ANY “AHA MOMENTS” IN TERMS OF MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS? You want a list? 1. Large age differences do matter—if the long run matters. 2. You can’t smoke your way out of crumbling marriage. Plus, it’s rude to your partner. 3. Communicate as best you can, which means as often and truthfully as you can. 4. The decision to share a life means a ton of compromise. I’ll be more willing next time. 5. Love is not something to be afraid of. A broken heart heals and will love again. I assure you.
DO YOU FEEL THAT THE RACE TOWARD EQUALITY (GAY MARRIAGE, SAMESEX COUPLES WITH KIDS, ETC.) IS ERASING GAY SUBCULTURES IN FAVOR OF ASSIMILATION? I wouldn’t say “in favor of
assimilation” because I don’t feel that we are all striving to be the same. Treated the same, yes. But not the same kind of people. What I see, and I’m putting my money where my mouth is, is that we’re truly beginning to blend. It’s revolutionary. I always go out to Webster Hall in NYC. It’s like my home on Saturday nights. It’s not a gay club. Yet, I get attention from men every time I go. See my point? Now I’m starting a residency at one of the guys behind Webster Hall’s new venue SLAKE in NYC February 21st (The Invite-Only Party) that’s going to be the most uber-exclusive GLBT party of the month, and I’m hosting it in the Propaganda Room within a normally tagged “straight” club. Lines are blurring. I think it’s a beautiful thing. Gay clubs started because we needed to be safe. To hide, in some cases. It says so much for social and cultural progress to see the blend.
YOU CURRENTLY LIVE IN NYC. HOW WOULD YOU COMPARE GAY LIFE THERE AS OPPOSED TO LA? Gay life in LA boiled down too often to gym time and tanning bed sessions for my taste. Sure, I hired Jennifer Ashby. One of the best body gurus in the Southeast to get me looking like I did for this cover shoot. That was a fun thing to do. But to keep that up? Get out of here! LA seems so body-obsessed. In NY, it’s a more creativity-minded culture. LA is my heart and soul, though. I love LA like no other. NYC is all brand new to me. Ask me again in 8 months. n For more information on Jason Dottley, visit www.jasondottley.com. For more information the Love Story Project, visit www.jasonslovestoryproject.com. JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 25
CHALLENGING HOMOPHOBIA AND RACISM IS NOT JUST ABOUT “RIGHTS” AND “WINNING” IN COURTROOMS AND LEGISLATURES. Duck Dynasty?” As long as our so-called “friends” in Hollywood promote and tolerate this kind of hate for money, we’ve not won much. Tomorrow they’ll throw an AIDS benefit to assuage their guilt, or come out and say some wonderful things about LGBT people, while making millions of dollars by promoting hate against us, shrouded in religious beliefs, and raising America’s kids on hate. And the racism they’re promoting with Phil Robertson, who posited that blacks were happier under Jim Crow, while they claim to be so inclusive and anti-racist, is appalling, and shows the height of Hollywood hypocrisy. Challenging homophobia and racism is not just about “rights” and “winning” in courtrooms and legislatures. It’s about what culture promotes and what’s acceptable to make money on—what bigotry is clearly able to be marketed and sold to the masses who’ve been fed this crap for decades. And in the Duck Dynasty controversy, Hollywood and it’s supposed pro-gay, anti-racist liberals allowed Sarah Palin and the right to give them “free speech” cover—when we all know this has nothing to do with free speech—to make millions of dollars off of hate. As blogger Pam Spaulding wrote, the “problem with brushing this DD flap aside as just meaningless, is the fact
WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD THIS CONTROVERSY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FREE SPEECH. IT’S ABOUT TOLERATING HATE TO MAKE MONEY. MICHELANGELO SIGNORILE’S HUFFINGTON POST PIECE ON DUCK DYNASTY. BY MICHELANGELO SIGNORILE TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE DISMISSING THE ACTION OF A&E at reinstating Phil Robertson so soon after suspending him from Duck Dynasty. It’s just a TV show, they say, and we have all of these wins on marriage equality—and look at Utah! But this is not about, “Oh, we’re ‘winning,’ so who cares about 2 6 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
that corporations, with this quick slap in the face of LGBTs (and black folks) is that it’s a recognition of bigots as a demographic that must be catered to. That is no small deal, people.” n Follow Michelangelo Signorile on Twitter: www.twitter.com/msignorile. For more on LGBT issues, visit: huffingtonpost.com/gay-voices.
“THE HOMOSEXUAL OFFENDERS” DUCK DYNASTY STAR PHIL ROBERTSON, IN THE JANUARY ISSUE OF GQ. > “Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong... Sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers-they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” “It seems like, to me, a vagina-as a man-would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” n
DECEMB ER 2013 | T H E F I GH T 27
GABRIEL BLAU (RIGHT), WITH ELIJAH AND DYLAN.
PHOTO BY: PETER HURLEY
packing the issue for myself, and later making it the center of my advocacy work. But throughout that process I spent many sleepless nights struggling with who I was and who I thought I should be. ... There is no question in my mind that I had it easier than most. My parents are all enormously supportive, and my mother and step father having even become well regarded activists. My grandmother who survived the holocaust eventually came around as well, aided by holding her great grandchild in her arms. WHAT MOTIVATED YOU TO JOIN FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL?
FAMILY VALUES
GABRIEL BLAU, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL, ON LGBT ADOPTION, JUDAISM AND SEXUALITY, AND CHANGING HEARTS AND MINDS. BY MARK ARIEL FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL CONNECTS, supports, and represents one million LGBT parents and their two million children. Because of their work, LGBT men and women can find information on starting a family, adopting, or becoming foster parents—and children can find forever families. Gabriel Blau, 33, joined Family Equality Council as the Executive Director in 2013, bringing to the organization a deep passion for, and robust background in, the LGBT movement. Blau holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theology from Bard College and lives in New York with his husband Dylan and their son Elijah. They adopted Elijah domestically in 2008 and have been strong advocates for him and their family in schools, camps and the community-at-large. In an interview with THE FIGHT Blau talks about Judaism and his sexuality, building a family with his husband and their adopted son, and how telling our stories helps us to achieve goals. GABRIEL, WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? WHAT WAS THE COMING OUT PROCESS LIKE FOR YOU? I grew up in the suburbs of New York City and began coming out to my friends, and later to my family, in high school. By the time I started com2 8 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
ing out I had also decided to become religiously observant. I was raised in Jewish home with a strong Jewish education. Though my family wasn’t religious it felt right for me. I often describe my coming out in three phases: to myself, to God, and to family and friends. Being religious and gay was not easy. But overall it was more of a challenge than an obstacle. I doubt I would be working in the movement today had I not contended with the questions that arose from the combination of my faith and sexuality. This was a logic problem to be solved. I faced two truths: Judaism and my sexuality. High school math class taught me that two truths must be able to co-exist. While it was difficult at times, I found solace in that idea and focused a lot of energy on un-
As a father and advocate Family Equality Council is a natural place where my passions come together. I grew up believing that my only job in this world was to make it better for generations to come. We have learned, thanks to the leadership of my predecessor, Jenn Chrisler, and the work of this organization over the years, that when we put families forward, tell their stories, and look at issues through the lens of family we achieve our goals. As the movement continues to move forward it became clear that this organization was increasingly in the leadership and playing a critical role in achieving social and legal equality for all LGBTQ people, and for my husband, our son, and me. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR HUSBAND? My husband and I met through mutual friends we had made at a group called Jewish Queer Youth, which I helped, form some years earlier. We only attended the same group meeting once, but I left early and he came late, so we never actually met there—just saw each other across the room. Dylan invited some of the group’s members to Friday night services for Shabbat, and I tagged along. We met that night and have been together ever since.
IN MOST OF THE COUNTRY LGBTQ ADULTS TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN FACE SIGNIFICANT BARRIERS, INCLUDING BEING UNABLE FOR BOTH PARENTS, IF THERE ARE TWO, TO HAVE A LEGAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR OWN CHILDREN. CAN YOU TELL OUR READERS ABOUT YOUR ADOPTION PROCESS? Dylan and I decided that adoption felt like the right way for us to build our family. After all of our research we decided to begin the process while Dylan was in graduate school, and had assumed that it would take at least a year. Much to our surprise we found ourselves in the Midwest as our son was being born just a few months later. We were in our late twenties and throughout the process every lawyer, judge, social worker, and officer noted how young we were. We were luckily to be adopting in states that had laws that were friendly to us at two gay men who could not be legally married. In most of the country LGBTQ adults trying to have children face significant barriers, including being unable for both parents, if there are two, to have a legal relationship with their own children. I have friends who have faced tremendous hardships of all kinds, including social workers who try to stop the adoption. Bringing children into your family is complicated and difficult for most whether it’s through adoption, surrogacy, or faster care. We’re working
diligently, every day, to address family creation issues throughout the country, including policy and social barriers. Children need good homes, and they deserve to be able to have all of their intended parents have legal rights to protect them and care for them. WHAT GOALS WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACHIEVE WITH FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL IN 2014? 2013 was a tremendous year for LGBTQ rights in this country and we are very excited to have played a role in that. Looking ahead, we are continuing our work throughout the country to advance policy and social initiatives that support America’s millions of LGBTQ parents and their children. Two areas in which we will be growing our impact are in the southern states and addressing working family issues. We recently announced a new po-
sition, a Southern States Regional Manager who will work with our partners and families throughout the south to advance a family agenda. Southern states have some of the highest proportion of LGBTQ parents raising children, yet they live with the fewest protections and rights. We are also increasing our efforts around working families. This spring we’ll be announcing our efforts with partners throughout the country that address the issues that matter most to working families. 2014 is going to be a year of tremendous strength for our movement. Through our efforts we are changing hearts and minds, ensuring family and LGBTQ friendly policies are advanced, and helping this country take steps forward to value families. n For more information on the Family Equality Council visit: www.familyequality.org.
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JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 29
THELAW > > W H AT Y O U N E E D T O K N O W A B O U T E X P U N G E M E N T S < <
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you’ve ever been convicted of a crime. It may help you with some job licenses and certificates. It can improve your credit rating. It can help you with housing and loan applications. An expungement can restore student loan eligibility after a drug conviction. It may help if you are trying to change your immigration status.
WHAT AN EXPUNGEMENT DOES NOT DO
COME CLEAN IN 2014 WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT EXPUNGEMENTS. BY DAVID HAKIMFAR l The New Year is a time when it seems that life has handed us a clean slate. In most cases this may be true, but let’s get real: none of us are perfect. We’ve all made mistakes. There may be things we’ve done in our past that we’re ashamed of, things that we wish we could make go away. If you’ve been arrested and convicted of a misdemeanor or felony crime, you will usually have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life. No matter how much you may have changed, this can impact your ability to get admitted to schools or certain professional licenses, get a job or promotion, or affect your chances of renting a house or apartment. Fortunately, there may be a legal remedy to address this problem. That legal procedure is called an expungement. Most people may have heard of the term and have some idea of what it means, but there are also many misconceptions about expungements, what they can and can’t do for you, and how to go about getting one.
HOW AN EXPUNGEMENT WORKS The process and rules for getting an expungement vary from state to state. In California, your plea of GUILTY (or no contest) is withdrawn, and a plea of NOT GUILTY is entered. Your case is reviewed by a judge and, in most instances, DISMISSES your case. Records of your case show it as “DISMISSED.” The expungement is then transmitted to the Department of Justice.
THE BENEFITS OF GETTING AN EXPUNGEMENT • You can truthfully answer “No” if an employer or creditor asks you if 3 0 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
• It does not erase your record. The charge will still appear on your record, but it will show as being DISMISSED. • The expunged conviction can still be used as a prior conviction to increase your sentence if you are charged with a different crime in the future. • If the expunged conviction was a “strike,” it can still be used as a strike in sentencing. • If you lost your firearm rights, it will not automatically restore your ability to possess a firearm. In some cases, you can get your felony reduced to a misdemeanor. Another legal option is to apply for a Certificate of Rehabilitation and Pardon. • If you have to register as a sex offender, you will still have to register even after the conviction is expunged. You can petition for a Certificate of Rehabilitation after your expungement is granted. • Some licensing agencies do not recognize expungements when they decide to grant or deny a license. You should contact the appropriate licensing agency about their policy. • If applying for a government job, you must still admit your conviction if asked whether you have ever been convicted. However, you can note that the case was dismissed per Penal Code section 1203.4. • If your driver’s license has been suspended, expungement of the conviction will not
affect your license; it will still be suspended. Expungement does not affect your DMV record. • You cannot expunge a conviction if you were sent to state prison. • There are also certain criminal offenses in California that cannot be expunged, including some sex offenses.
ABOUT CALIFORNIA DUI EXPUNGEMENTS Many people believe that a driving under the influence conviction goes off your record after ten years. This is not true. It stays on your record for life unless you have the conviction expunged. It is important to note that expungement does not affect your DMV record. California allows you to have your DUI conviction expunged after you complete your probation as long as you are not facing any current charges or on probation for another offense and your sentence did not involve state prison (as opposed to county jail). California allows you to have your DUI conviction expunged after you complete your probation. If you were not placed on probation, you can have your record expunged one year after your conviction. If your DUI conviction was a felony, it may be possible to reduce that conviction to a misdemeanor.
TALK TO AN ATTORNEY The laws regarding expungement can be complex. It is in your best interest to talk to a licensed attorney about your legal options if you want to have a conviction expunged from your record. It may be well worth the effort to move forward with your life with confidence and free from shame or fear. Visit www.hakifarlaw.com for more detailed information on expungements. n David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC, and a member attorney of Pride Legal. He can be reached at 310-730-1250.
Schock Shocker JOURNALIST ITAY HOD
AARON SCHOCK (R-IL)
JOURNALIST ITAY HOD IS FED UP WITH CLOSETED ANTI-LGBT POLITICIANS AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNALIST MONTH, out gay journalist Itay ITAY HOD Hod took a page from Michelangelo Signorile’s long history of outing hypocritical politicians and accused Rep. Aaron Schock (R-IL) of being gay and in the closet. Hod wrote, in a long Facebook post, that he is fed up with closeted anti-LGBT politicians and the media that shields and coddles them, and then named Schock as one such politician. “People always say, ‘No one has the right to out anyone,’” he wrote, “that coming out is a private matter. I disagree. As you can imagine, not a very popular opinion. But bear with me.” “Here’s a hypothetical,” he continued. “What if you know a certain GOP congressman, let’s just say from Illinois, is gay? And you know this because one of your friends, a journalist for a reputable network, told you in no uncertain terms that he caught that GOP congressman and his male roommate in the shower...together?” He went on to point out that TMZ has regularly reported on Schock’s “trolling” of gay bars and said that Schock’s orientation is mostly public knowledge among a certain set. And yet, Schock has routinely supported anti-LGBT legislation and toed the viciously regressive Republican Party line on LGBT people. What if, Hod asked, “this very same guy, the darling of the GOP, has also voted against repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ opposed the repeal of DOMA, is against gay marriage and for the Federal Marriage Amendment, which would add language to the U.S. Constitution banning gay marriage and would likely strike down every gay rights law and ordinance in the country?” “Are we still not allowed to out him?” asks Hod. The popular gay blog Qweerty picked up the story, writing, “Schock has long been the subject of rumors about his sexual orientation. He has always claimed he is straight (although his wardrobe is not). Schock didn’t boost his heterosexual cred any by posing for a series of shirtless images showing off his abs for Men’s Health.” Schock’s office has yet to comment on the allegations. n JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 31
THEPROFILE
> > E G G D O N AT I O N < <
As part of the matching process, we will arrange Skypes or meetings with the donor, if that is what the intended parent(s) want to do. Some of our clients want to be able to tell the child that they met the egg donor, others want to ask the donor to be open to meeting the child when they are 18.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHAT IS A “GOOD FIT?” A good fit is someone who has most, if not all, of the donor’s criteria, and someone who can responsibly get through the process. The recipient makes the decision on what is a good fit based upon their chosen criteria. I do not decide what is a good fit, but I will give my opinion if requested.
HOW MUCH DOES THE ENTIRE PROCESS COST?
ROBYN PERCHIK BEVERLY HILLS EGG DONATION WHAT EXACTLY IS AN EGG DONOR AGENCY? l Robyn Perchik: An egg donor agency recruits and screens egg donors with the ultimate goal of having a successful egg donation procedure and a resulting pregnancy. The egg donors provide the oocyte (commonly known as the “egg”), which provides half of the genetic material of the child. The intended parent(s) choose the egg donor. The donor goes through a cycle of medication to increase the yield of eggs. The eggs are then extracted during an egg retrieval, and fertilized in the lab (in vitro fertilization). The resulting embryo are then transferred to either the intended mother or surrogate five days later.
CAN YOU TELL OUR READERS ABOUT THE PROCESS? The process is so personal—no two situations are alike. I have many people who want a donor who looks like they would fit into their family, that reminds them of a sister or a cousin. I have intended parents who want a “smart” egg, meaning that they are looking for an academic achiever. And then I have recipients who want an “athletic” egg, or a “musical” egg, and so on. The only commonality in the matching process is that no two people are making their decisions the same way. My associates and I spend time with the intended parent (s) as early as we can in the process to determine what their criteria are, and to help them rank their criteria in terms of importance. We also try to manage expectations about which will be the easiest and hardest criteria to accomplish in the match process. 3 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
The egg donor process alone costs $15,000-$19,000—which includes the agency fee, donor fee, and donor legal. This includes the donor fee, which is $7,000-$10,000, depending on the number of previous donations, and whether they are an academic achiever. The agency fee does contemplate a rematch with no agency fee if there is not a successful pregnancy. The intended parent would still need to pay the donor fee. This cost is excluding the doctor , medication, donor travel (if out of the area) and the cost of surrogacy. There is a wide range of surrogacy options available, with corresponding price point differentiations.
ARE THERE ANY “INSIDER TIPS” REGARDING EGG DONATION? When looking at egg donor agencies I would suggest to: • Pick an agency to work with where you like more than one donor, in case something happens
• Pick an agency which has a contractual refund policy, many do not. • Ask the agency questions that will give you an indication of their charge structure-do they take a % of the donor fee (as well as the agency fee). Do they “mark up” travel, or provide it as a service at cost, do they collect receipts and reconcile the expenses. Are there surcharges for cycle coordination, what happens if you don’t have a successful pregnancy. Your readers need to know that the lowest agency fee may not be the lowest price nor the best value.
HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS FIELD? My background is Insurance, Risk Management, with a law degree thrown in. I was an underwriter of commercial casualty insurance for Fortune 500 companies. An underwriter is akin to the quarterback on a football field, having to work with a lot of different customer service and legal/ financial personnel to get to the goal. As I was thinking of retiring from the company that I worked with for 30 years (right out of college), I received an interesting phone call. The previous owner of BHED was going to sell the business, and a mutual friend who is currently in this field, facilitated my purchase of BHED, and entrance into this business. I have never regretted the career change.
DID YOU HAVE A CONNECTION WITH THE LGBT COMMUNITY BEFORE STARTING BHED? Aside from my gay and lesbian friends, nothing formal—just a belief that all a successful family needs is love. n For more info call: (310) 279-5272 or visit: www.bhed.com.
THE LEADERS IN GAY FAMILY BUILDING IVF EGG FREEZING SURROGACY EGG DONATION California Fertility Partners has been helping gay men build families for over fifteen years. No program has the experience and expertise of California Fertility Partners with third party reproduction.
GUY RINGLER, MD (310) 828-4008 TEL // (310) 828-3310 FAX WWW.CALIFORNIAFERTILITYPARTNERS.COM JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 33
THEMONEY
>> AGEING & FINANCIAL PLANNING <<
Managing your assets postretirement can become more confusing. In the event of illness or disability, who is authorized to sign your checks or pay your bills? Too many times, a profligate child may assume control of a parent’s asset base, and assets that were to outlast your parents’, or your own, lifetime are suddenly gone. Great consideration needs to be paid in deciding who will assume control, and in the absence of a reliable person, a corporate trust company should be considered so that an impartial, experienced corporate trustee may assume administration. Legal and tax advisors need to be retained so that administration and guidance can come from knowledgeable sources. You may become your parents’ guardian if they develop Alzheimer’s,
able to claim an exemption for your parents as dependents, and you may be entitled to claim the Dependent Care Credit on your tax return. In addition, you may be able to file your taxes as head of household, and deduct any medical expenses you paid on your parents’ behalf. If, at the time of your death, you have been providing at least half of the support for your parent’s care, and he or she is 62years old or over and is not entitled to a retirement benefit that is equal to or larger than the amount he or she would receive(based on your earnings record), then he or she may be entitled to receive a parent’s Social Security benefit equal to 82.5 percent of your primary insurance amount (PIA). Knowing what to expect and preparing for the unexpected is a critical path to success. n
AGEING & FINANCIAL PLANNING KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT AND PREPARING FOR THE UNEXPECTED IS A CRITICAL PATH TO SUCCESS. BY GRANT GOCHIN l How many times have we heard that it is the gay child who is the most compassionate toward ageing parents? How many times have we heard about gays who took responsibility for care of an ageing parent while their heterosexual siblings stood by? As longevity increases, we should not only concern ourselves with ageing parents, we need to also think about our own ageing process and who will care for us when we can no longer care for ourselves. This, too, is a fundamental part of financial planning. Everybody needs to have a plan in place: how should care proceed, who will administer financial and legal affairs, and who may make health-care decisions? The first step is to develop a personal data record, which is a document that lists financial, legal, medical, and insurance information, as well as information regarding professional advisors and the location of important records. This process will help to determine whether data is missing or out of date. Financial data needs to be reviewed: to establish whether assets are available to pay for care, determine how long those assets will last, and decide what to do with any remaining assets after death. Addressing these matters at the time of need is too late; it needs to be done during the financial planning process—well in advance of actual need. We cannot know in advance if we will be healthy enough to live out our lives at home, or if we will need assisted care. A planningbased approach should consider the more expensive option; not much is worse than outliving your assets, after all. 3 4 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
but who will become yours? Will that guardian understand what is most appropriate and do the work necessary to ensure bestpossible care and administration? Who will file your parents’ annual tax returns during incapacity? Who handles investment assets or personal-decision making? What happens if there is a dispute between potential beneficiaries? Caring for your parents should only be an emotional concern— your financial planning during the good years will prepare for all eventualities that arise during the ageing process. Making sure your parents don’t outlive their assets is a crucial step in ensuring that your own finances are not jeopardized. Federal income tax law provides several tax benefits to you if you are supporting your parents financially. If you have a dependent care account at work, you can put pretax dollars into the account, which can be used to pay for some costs associated with caring for your dependent parents. You may be
Grant Gochin is a Wealth Advisor and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER(tm) professional at 16200 Ventura Blvd # 415, Encino, CA 91436 Ph: (818) 8273410. Grant is married (to a man) and he and his husband have one son. Questions and suggestions for future articles should be sent to him at grant.gochin@ raymondjames.com. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/ SIPC The Fight Magazine is not affiliated with Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. RJFS does not provide tax advice or tax preparation. You should discuss any tax or legal matters with a qualified professional. Any opinions are those of the author and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James. The information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that the forgoing material is accurate or complete.
“I WAS AFRAID OF PEOPLE LIKE PHIL ROBERTSON, WHO CLAIM TO LOVE EVERYONE WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY THINKING THAT EVERYONE’S LOVE ISN’T EQUAL.”
STILL BREAKING NEWS CNN’S DON LEMON ON WHY HE WAITED UNTIL HIS MID-40S TO COME OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY. WHILE FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA and plenty of other people have been quick to congratulate Good Morning America host Robin Roberts for coming out publicly as a lesbian, others have wondered what took her so long, reports Greg Hernandez on Gay Star News at www.gaystarnews.com CNN’s Don Lemon took to the air last month to shed some light on
why he thinks Roberts or any television news personality is still reluctant. “I can’t speak for Robin Roberts, nor any of my recently out gay colleagues, I didn’t do it sooner because I was afraid of losing my livelihood,” Lemon admitted. “I was afraid that you would no longer watch me.” Lemon, 47, came out publicly in 2011, although he had been out in his private life to family and friends
for decades, reports Hernandez. “I was afraid of people like (Duck Dynasty patriarch) Phil Robertson, who claim to love everyone while simultaneously thinking that everyone’s love isn’t equal,” Lemon said. “The people who use religion and scripture to shield bigotry now toward gays and in the past toward women and African-Americans.” Of Roberts, Lemon said: “Hopefully for Robin, like me, empowerment quickly replaced fear once I did come out. And if people like Phil Robertson are deserving of keeping their platforms and are even defended and celebrated, then people like Don Lemon, or Thomas Roberts, or Rachel Maddow, or Sam Champion, or Anderson Cooper, or Robin Roberts are also deserving of their platforms and should be celebrated as well. That’s why it’s still important to come out and say very simply, ‘I’m gay.’”n
JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 35
think they still do it, I just haven’t been back there for the holidays in years. It’s this big Polish dinner for Christmas Eve (with some Kucios elements since we’re Lithuanian too), with pierogi and white fish and mushroom soup, and also herring and sometimes sunflower seed bread and other fun stuff like that. My grandma and grandpa would come out to visit, we’d all open presents that evening, and it was nice. But before we could get to dinner and presents, we had to do... the oplatki. It’s basically a large rectangle, about the size of a tarot card, of the same vaguely edible material used in communion wafers. It ended up being possibly the most passive aggressive Christmas tradition imaginable. How it works is the oldest person takes it first, and offers a piece to everyone around the table, with their wish for them in the new year. Then the second-oldest person offers a piece to everyone around the table, and so on, until everyone’s had a chance to exchange new year wishes with everyone else. For as long as I can remember, this had devolved into a palpably uncomfortable “airing of grievances” where people would hassle each other for not quitting smoking, or tell each other to get a job, or tell me to get a haircut and do something with my life, and so on. Things between me and my stepmom and her kids had always been uneasy throughout my teen years and I just tried to shrink into the background and ignore anything mean they said. But there was this one year, it must have been 2009 or so, when I had finally come out as a “gay guy” to everyone. And yeah, it wasn’t really the most comfortable identity for me at the time,
Stirrings Of Queerness IT MUST HAVE BEEN 2009 OR SO, WHEN I HAD FINALLY COME OUT AS A “GAY GUY” TO EVERYONE... IT WASN’T REALLY THE MOST COMFORTABLE IDENTITY FOR ME AT THE TIME... I HAD YET TO FIGURE OUT THAT BEING MASSIVELY FEMME ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING MUCH DIFFERENT THAN GAY-DUDE-NESS FOR ME. BY ZINNIA JONES BACK IN 2004 OR SO, I was probably 15 or thereabouts, and back then I was still staying over and visiting at my dad’s house every weekend or every other weekend. I had my own room in the basement, a computer, the whole works. So yeah, being 15 and testosterone and so on, I’d sometimes just look at a ton of porn. There was this one night where I was looking at stuff on 4chan and I found whatever section had superfemme guys in it, and there was just this wholly uneventful realization of... this works for me. There wasn’t even a moment of anxiety or worry about what it might mean—only the immediate sense of “oh.” It was probably the first time I realized I was some variety of queer. 3 6 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
The next day, we all got on the train to go to downtown Chicago for the Christkindlmarket festival, and the entire day, I was just completely distracted because my world felt like it had been turned upside down. It was fascinating and I was just in awe of this newfound understanding that I could find literally anyone attractive if I wanted. It totally blew my mind and it felt like an incredible shift in perspective and I just stayed in that state of whoa for like a week. It was so liberating. So yeah, Christmas has always been really strongly associated with the stirrings of queerness for me.
CUTE BOYS One of the traditions at dad’s house was Wigilia. I
“ ... BEING 15 AND TESTOSTERONE AND SO ON, I’D SOMETIMES JUST LOOK AT A TON OF PORN... I FOUND WHATEVER SECTION HAD SUPER-FEMME GUYS IN IT, AND THERE WAS JUST THIS WHOLLY UNEVENTFUL REALIZATION OF... THIS WORKS FOR ME. THERE WASN’T EVEN A MOMENT OF ANXIETY OR WORRY ABOUT WHAT IT MIGHT MEAN—ONLY THE IMMEDIATE SENSE OF ‘OH.’ IT WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME I REALIZED I WAS SOME VARIETY OF QUEER.” and I was still in that liminal state where I had yet to figure out that being massively femme actually meant something much different than gay-dude-ness for me. But, back then, that was where things stood. And while I gritted my teeth during the oplatki, trying not to take it too seriously as I listened to the barely concealed barbs, my older stepsister held out the wafer and I broke off a piece and she told me, “Meet lots of cute boys.” And it was one of the first times anyone had ever made an overt gesture toward openly including that part of me in family life, and it was all the more surprising because it came from someone I hadn’t always
been on good terms with. And as rough as things might have been before, my dad’s side of the family turned out to be the ones who were so, so much more ready to accept me and include me without question. Through everything, to this day. I love Wigilia, and it’s really important to me.
BLACK SATIN Back in 2010, I was still living with my family, and also living under the delusion that I was a guy. Heather and I were in the still-just-super-really-good-friends (-who-are-in-love-but-don’tknow-it-yet) phase—we’d yet to meet up, other than just talking online all day and all night. And we decided we totally had to get each other Christmas presents. I think I got her a new translation of The Second Sex (she LOVES books), and she picked
out something from my Amazon wishlist. But we told each other not to open it until Christmas, so when I got a package from her (gift-wrapped and all!), I put it under the tree with the rest of my family’s presents. And then it was Christmas morning and my mom was handing out everyone’s presents, and of course I had to just tear right into Heather’s first, and it was the most beautiful pair of arm-length black satin gloves. I put them on immediately in front of everyone and they were so perfect. I was just so excited! My mom haltingly asked: “...Who are those from?” “My friend Heather!” “Oh.” And I ran off to take selfies in my pajamas to show to Heather. n Read more commentary by Zinnia Jones at: www.freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones.
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JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 37
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, AS TURING, “THE IMITATION GAME”
ALAN TURING
“This is one small step on the way to making some real positive change happen to all the people that were convicted,” she said. “It’s a disgrace that so many people were treated so disrespectfully.”
The German messages were encoded by Enigma machines, which Adolf Hitler’s military believed made its communications impenetrable. Turing was considered a mathematical genius. In 1937 he published a paper introducing an idea that came to be known as the Turing machine, which is considered to have formed the basis of modern computing. This was a hypothetical device that could come up with a solution to any problem that is computable. “Alan Turing was a remarkable man who played a key role in saving this country in World War II by cracking the German enigma code,” British Prime Minister David Cameron said. “His action saved countless lives. He also left a remarkable national legacy through his substantial scientific achievements, often being referred to as the ‘father of modern computing.’” The prestigious A.M. Turing Award—sometimes called the “Nobel Prize” of Computing— was named after Turing.
MATHEMATICAL GENIUS
UPCOMING FEATURE FILM
Some have criticized the action for not going far enough and, 59 years after Turing’s death, little more than a token gesture. “I just think it’s ridiculous, frankly,” British home computing pioneer Sir Clive Sinclair told the BBC. “He’s been dead these many years so what’s the point? It’s a silly nonsense. “He was such a fine, great man, and what was done was appalling of course. It makes no sense to me, because what’s done is done.” The German messages that Turing cracked at the British government’s code-breaking headquarters in Bletchley Park provided the Allies with crucial information.
In honor of his long-overdue pardon the official Twitter account for the upcoming feature film about his life, “The Imitation Game,” released its first still. The photo features actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who stars as Turing, in front of what could very well be the “bombe”—one of the many computers Turing helped to create during his lifetime. Due to hit theaters later this year, “The Imitation Game” is directed by Morten Tyldum and stars Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Rory Kinnear, Charles Dance, Mark Strong Allen Leech, and Matthew Beard. n
succeeded in getting an apology from then-Prime Minister Gordon Brown for Turing’s treatment by the justice system in the 1950s. Brown described the Turing sentence as “appalling.” Dr. Sue Black, a computer scientist, was one of the key figures in the campaign. She told the BBC that she hoped all the men convicted under the anti-homosexuality law would now be pardoned.
TURING’S PARDON ALAN TURING, GAY, CODE-BREAKING WWII HERO, HAS BEEN GIVEN A LONG-OVERDUE ROYAL PARDON. BY VICTOR MELAMED ALAN TURING, A BRITISH CODE-BREAKER DURING WORLD WAR II who was later subjected to chemical castration for homosexual activity, has received a royal pardon nearly 60 years after he committed suicide, reports CNN. Turing was best known for developing the Bombe, a code-breaking machine that deciphered messages encoded by German machines. His work is considered by many to have saved thousands of lives and helped change the course of the war. “Dr. Turing deserves to be remembered and recognized for his fantastic contribution to the war effort and his legacy to science,” British Justice Secretary Chris Grayling said in a statement last month. “A pardon from the Queen is a fitting tribute to an exceptional man.” Turing’s castration in 1952—after he was convicted of homosexual activity, which was illegal at the time—is “a sentence we would now consider unjust and discriminatory and which has now been repealed,” Grayling said. Two years after the castration, which Turing chose to avoid a custodial sentence, he ended his life at the age of 41 by eating an apple laced with cyanide. Supporters have long campaigned for Turing to receive greater recognition for his work and official acknowledgment that his punishment was wrong. An online petition in 2009 that drew tens of thousands of signatures 3 8 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
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JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 39
THEEPIDEMIC >> THE HIV VIRUS’ COMEBACK <<
“CURED” HIV RELAPSE THE VIRUS’ COMEBACK UNDERLINED HOW INGENIOUS HIV CAN BE IN FINDING HIDING PLACES IN THE BODY. BY VICTOR MELAMED
> Scientists seeking a cure for AIDS say they have been inspired, not crushed, by a major setback in which two HIV positive patients believed to have been cured found the virus reinvading their bodies once more, according to a Reuters report. The so-called “Boston patients”—two men who received bone marrow transplants that appeared to rid them completely of the AIDS-causing virus—have relapsed and gone back onto antiretroviral treatment. But experts say the disappointment could lay the basis for important leaps forward in the search for a cure. “It’s a setback for the patients, of course, but an advance for the field because the field has now gained a lot more knowledge,” said Steven Deeks, a professor and HIV expert at the University of California, San Francisco. He and other experts say the primary practical message is that current tests designed to detect even very low levels of HIV present in the body are simply not sensitive enough. As well as having HIV, the Boston patients both also had a type of blood cancer called lymphoma, for which they were treated using bone marrow transplants—one man in 2008 and the other in 2010. They continued taking the antiretroviral AIDS drugs, but eight months after each patient’s transplant, doctors found they could not detect any sign of HIV in their blood. In the early part of 2013, both patients decided to stop taking their AIDS drugs and both appeared to remain HIVfree—prompting their doctors to announce that they may have been cured. Yet in December came news that one of the men had begun to show signs of an HIV rebound by August, while the second patient had a relapse in November. Henrich said the virus’ comeback underlined how ingenious HIV can be in finding hiding places in the body to evade attack efforts by the immune system and by drug treatment. n 4 0 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2014
THEEVENT PHOTO CREDIT: A.J. HERRERA PHOTOGRAPHY
#BOOM IN WEHO
> THE CITY OF WEST HOLLYWOOD hosted #BOOM, a sober New Year’s Eve Party on December 31. Created by the West Hollywood Project, a coalition of the Institute for Public Strategies, the event featured spin master DJ Alexander, and included a special appearance by WeHo Cheer, dancing, raffles and a midnight sober toast. Hundreds showed up for the wildly successful, sold-out event. As the event’s media sponsor THE FIGHT magazine, along with Checker Cab, supplied reusable tote-bags for attendees with free gifts, including recovery related items from “My 12 Step Store” in West Hollywood.
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>> #BOOM IN WEHO <<
JANUAR Y 2014 | T H E F I GH T 43
THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO <<
AMBER RILEY WILL BE AT FAMILY EQUALITY AWARDS DINNER. SEE SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8 LISTING.
FRIDAY FEBRUARY 14
GROUPS
VALENTINE’S DAY SEXTING PARTY The Abbey, 692 N. Robertson Blvd, West Hollywood, 8pm. For more info: abbeyfoodandbar.com It’s Valentines Day for single gay folks. An interactive texting game and music by Dawna Montell.
ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org
VALENTINE’S DAY ART WALK Downtown LA, for more info visit: downtownartwalk.org. Lots of heart-themed jewelry and other romantic gifts among the original works of art and handcrafts on display through the Downtown LA Gallery District.
CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15
NAKED AT THE GETTY SCAVENGER HUNT 1200 Getty Center Drive, Los Angeles,5:30pm, for more info visit: watsonadventures.com. You actually keep your clothes on while you hunt for nudity at the amazing Getty Center. You don’t need to know anything about art or the museum or nudity to win. FRIDAY, JANUARY 17
THE MISMATCH GAME The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Renberg Theatre, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Hollywood. Friday/Saturday, Jan. 17/18 at 8pm; Sunday, Jan 19 at 7pm. For more info call: 323-860-7300. Producer and host Dennis “Gene Rayburn” Hensley will be joined onstage by a panel of film, TV and theatre performers-some of Hollywood’s fastest, most creative and deranged comic minds. SATURDAY, JANUARY 18
ASK THE ELDERS Plummer Park, 7377 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood, 3pm-5pm, free. An afternoon of conversation among gay, lesbian and trans youth, adults, elders & ancestors. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6
IBC KICKOFF PARTY The Eagle, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, 9pm, for more info visit: eaglela.com. Join B Bar & THE FIGHT Magazine for LA’s Official International Bear Convergence Kick-Off Party. Bears, cubs, otters and other furry critters. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8
FAMILY EQUALITY AWARDS DINNER Globe Theatre, Universal Studios, Hollywood, 7pm, for more info visit: www.familyequality.org Family Equality Council is proud to present its 10th annual Los Angeles Awards Dinner, their premier West Coast event aimed at connecting the growing Los Angeles community of families headed by LGBT parents and supporters, as well as, advancing efforts to create equality for all families. The event includes live performances and appearances by notables in the world of arts, entertainment (including Adam Lambert, Amber Riley, and Darren Criss), politics and the LGBT movement.
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SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16
THE 6TH ANNUAL TRANNY AWARDS Stars Palace Theatre, 417 Brand Boulevard, Glendale, 9pm - 1am, for more info visit: trannyawards.com. The only event of its kind that celebrates the accomplishments of performers, directors, and studios in the transgender community adult industry. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21
MIKEY & TEDDY HOUR COMEDY HOUR Fubar, 7994 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, 7:30pm - 9:30pm. Every Friday night at Fubar. Think the Sonny and Cher show only gay and sans the sequin dresses and cute shoes. Gay comics Mikey Scott and Teddy Margas carry on with special funny guest. SATURDAY, MARCH 8
#THANKU4BEINGAFRIEND: A GOLDEN GIRLS EXTRAVANZA Micky’s, 8857 Santa Monica Blvd, 4pm-8pm. Presented by The LA Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, benefiting NKLA.org. Dress up as your favorite Golden Girl and enjoy live performances, dancing, raffle prizes and a Golden Girls trivia game. FRIDAY MARCH 14
BLUF The Eagle, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., 9pm to 2am, for more info visit: eaglela.com. BLUF stands for Breeches and Leather Uniform Fan Club. The event happens every second Friday of the month. Join men who like to suit up and their admirers.
GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30 p.m. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. (323) 650-1503 GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los
> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 201-1561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.” TRAVEL FRIENDS TRAVEL www.FriendsTravel.com Gay Owned & Operated, Since 1985. 12 STEP GROUPS
editor@thefightmag.com CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com
>> LISTINGS << www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www. greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org
HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089
LA ROWING www.larowing.org
DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042
DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.
HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org
LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org
WORSHIP
LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.
METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027
WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org
BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035
LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com
fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020
All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.
GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com
KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.
SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club.
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES
WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364
For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit
www.thefightmag.com
JANUAR Y 2014 | TH E F I GH T 45
THEFINALFIGHT
>> FIVE COMMUNITY TIPS <<
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FIVE COMMUNITY TIPS FOR AN EVEN STRONGER 2014. BY ROB SMITH
1. BE MORE INCLUSIVE Usually when a black gay writer urges the LGBT community to be more inclusive, it is cloaked in some kind of plea to see more black faces in our media, or to maybe have one or two more black jocks in those underwear ads that are ubiquitous on the sites. While that definitely wouldn’t hurt, I find myself wishing that we could be more inclusive to our brothers and sisters that may think outside of the gay-approved liberal political box, or those that may even *gasp* openly date both men and women. The contempt with which both gay republicans and the dreaded bisexual are treated always seems shocking to me coming from a community that is so heavily focused on demanding inclusion from mainstream society. I remain fascinated by (and sometimes a bit jealous of) true bisexuals who operate outside of the rigid constraints of traditional hetero or homosexuality, and I’ve had some pretty amazing conversations with gay dudes who’ve admitted to voting Romney in 2012.
NENE LEAKES
2. STOP WORSHIPPING STRAIGHT MEN My people, my people, we have got to move beyond the tongue lappings we give straight guys with above average looks who just happen to acknowledge our existence and support equal rights. Newsflash: That is what a rational human being is supposed to do in 2014. By going gaga over every straight dude that supports gay rights and, surprise, just happens to have a shirtless calendar or book or god knows what else to promote, gay guys reinforce the idea that these are the “real men” that we never can be.
3. DEMAND MORE FROM OUR ALLIES In a time where LGBT people are still being bashed on the street and still fighting for equality in so many different ways, it is no longer acceptable to bestow the title of “ally” to whatever reality TV star or aspiring pop diva of the moment who decides to hop on a pride parade float, surround herself with hot go-go boys, and declare herself Queen Of The Gays. Yes, I’m looking at *you* Lisa Vanderpump, NeNe Leakes, and whatever new bobble head singer is currently peddling her thin voice over 90’s house music beats and touring gay bars around the country to promote her crappy single on itunes. What are they doing for the community? Is a proceed of those sales going to help homeless LGBT youth? Or in support of LGBT candidates for office? Or is it just going into their pockets? These are the questions we need to start asking.
4. GAY MARRIAGE ISN’T THE HOLY GRAIL FOR LGBT RIGHTS I’m all for gay marriage. Truly, I am. Though personally—I am trying to get to a second date first—I realize that gay marriage is a fundamental and important right for our community to be fighting for. I also realize that, somewhere along the way, gay marriage started sucking up all the air in the room in terms of gay rights, and I fear that once it is achieved (and on some level I believe that it will be in the next 4 6 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2014
“ ... It is no longer acceptable to bestow the title of “ally” to whatever reality TV star or aspiring pop diva of the moment who decides to hop on a pride parade float, surround herself with hot go-go boys, and declare herself Queen Of The Gays.” 10-15 years, if not sooner), we will become complacent and forget about the host of other issues that still affect us as LGBT people. Tougher hate crime laws, the Employment Non Discrimination Act, and ending the epidemic of homeless LGBT youth are just a few things that need to be on the agenda as well.
5. LOVE OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER MORE We’ve all been there. You walk into a space that is supposed to be safe for LGBT people and you feel anything but comfortable. There’s that look up and down,
perhaps the sneer that indicates a lack of attractiveness to a certain segment of the crowd, or maybe even the casual turn of the head that lets you know that you’re not welcomed here. Maybe some of us have even been on both sides of this. I know I have. What I’d love to see is the sneers turn into smiles, and perhaps a friendly and welcoming nod of the head that indicates, hey, you’re in this thing just like me, and even if we’re not attracted to each other or may not even know each other perhaps we can at least treat one another like human beings if only for a moment. I’m gonna give it a shot in 2014, and I hope you’ll join me. n
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